Plugged-In Parent Newsletter (May 2015) by Immanuel Baptist Church

MAY 2015

PLUGGED IN A MONTHLY PUBLICATIONTO HELP PARENTS BETTER PLUG INTOTHE SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OFTHEIR STUDENT

May Issue THIS MONTH

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GRAD RECOGNITION DAY (5/3)

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MS SERVICE DAY AT PINNACLE (5/23 OR 5/30)

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COLLIDE CAMP REG. DEADLINE/ PARENT MEETING (5/31)

MOTHER’S DAY(5/10) SE ASIA GO TRAINING 201 (5/17) CHURCH-WIDE TOWN HALL MEETING (5/17)

COMING SOON

WE ARE THE CHURCH AS YOU’VE PROBABLY ALREADY HEARD, AN INTERESTING OPPORTUNITY HAS BEEN OPENED TO OUR CHURCH THROUGH THE PURCHASE OF THE RECENTLY VACATED KROGER. THERE ARE A NUMBER OF IDEAS FROM A MULTITUDE OF PEOPLE ON WHAT WE MIGHT DO WITH THAT PROPERTY TO ADVANCE THE KINGDOM. WE ARE FOCUSED ON HEARING FROM THE LORD WITH THIS, BUT WE ARE CONSISTENTLY REMINDING OURSELVES THAT ‘WE ARE THE CHURCH’ NOT A BUILDING. FACILITIES ARE AMAZING TOOLS THAT GOD GIFTS US WITH TO BEST BE THAT TO OUR WORLD. IT WAS SO AMAZING TO SEE OUR STUDENTS LIVING THAT OUR THROUGH STUDENT TAKEOVER LAST MONTH. IT IS EVEN MORE EXCITING TO SEE HOW OUR STUDENTS AND ADULTS WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND MODEL WHAT IT MEANS TO BE THE CHURCH THROUGH OUR CAMP, GO TRIPS, AND VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL INVOLVEMENT THIS SUMMER. REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENS WITH A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.  KROGER, REMEMBER, YOU…US…WE ARE THE CHURCH! www.ibclrstudents.org © 2015

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GO TRIP COMMISSIONING *6/7) NYC GO TRAINING 201 (6/7) COLLIDE CAMP (6/15-19) SE ASIA TRAINING 301 (6/22) SE ASIA GO TRIP (6/23-7/2)

HE A RT CONNE X GRATITUDE FOR SIBLINGS

EMPOWER HOPEFUL MOMS

EQUIP

OVERVALUING KIDS FOSTERS NARCISSISM

ENABLE

5 ROLES OF YOUTH WORKERS PLAY IN THE LIVES OF TEENAGERS

STUDENT MINISTRY STAFF

Matt Hubbard

Melissa Sponer

Ross Spigner

Amanda Beach

Lead Student Pastor

Girls Ministry Associate

Middle School Pastor

Ministry Assistant

FAVORITE FESTIVAL FOOD:    FUNNEL CAKE

FAVORITE FESTIVAL FOOD:    CHICKEN ON A STICK

FAVORITE FESTIVAL FOOD:    GYROS

FAVORITE FESTIVAL FOOD:    FUNNEL CAKE

From Our Heart Just a few months ago, Cassie and I started our 4th year here at Immanuel. These last three years have been amazing. Through Immanuel’s student ministry we’ve seen students come to Christ. We’ve mobilized hundreds of students locally, nationally, and globally to share the Gospel with those who so desperately need Jesus. We’ve seen a church-wide shift to God’s original intent for the church—to make disciples who make disciples. We’ve returned home, so to speak, through our Home 22:6 family discipleship philosophy. All these have been incredible victories that only God could produce. But one of the most significant blessings that we have experienced here is the student staff that God has assembled. Melissa’s heart for missions, girls ministry, and this church’s impact on the Kingdom spurs excitement about what would come in the years ahead. Amanda’s servant attitude and heart for our families has allowed all of us, volunteers included, to thrive in the ministry areas and giftedness that God has equipped us for. Ross’ transparent passion for the Lord and for students to build godly relationships with each other through the church has formed a foundation that the rest of IBCLRStudents can build on. Kasey’s ability to lead students and adults alike to worship at the feet of the risen King has been such a huge addition. I cannot fully express how grateful I am to lock arms with these men and women. Though it has taken some time, our student team…your student team…is more unified than ever in partnering with you as you seek to make multiplying disciples in your home. Satan knows this and he knows the impact that is being made through the leadership of our team and the partnership with parents and other adult volunteers. Satan has thrown (and will continue to throw) a number of things at our staff over the past year or so, as we’ve grown closer and trusted Jesus and each other more and more. These darts have included ice storms to Would you join us in praying, much like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did, that even if our God doesn’t save us from the fire, that our team will still not be compromised, detoured, or delayed in doing what He has called us to do. For the glory of His name and the advancement of His Kingdom!

HEART CONNEX This is an excerpt on Gratitude for Siblings in Heart Connex a FREE, weekly devotional for parents of teens by Dr. Richard Ross (Lifeway). 1. HE ART SURPR ISE (TODAY THE PARENT GOES FIR ST); SAY: THROUGH MY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, I SEE THAT

GOD ENJOYS BR INGING BLESSINGS INTO MY LIFE BECAUSE HE IS MY FATHER. THIS MAK ES SENSE BECAUSE GIVING TO YOU BR INGS JOY TO ME. LET ME E XPLAIN…

2. RE AD SCR IPTURE: IN VITE A FAMILY MEMBER TO PR AY. ASK FAMILY MEMBER S TO READ MATTHEW 22:39 AND 1

JOHN 4:20-21. DISCUSS THE TRUTH AND UNTRUTHS IN LIGHT OF THESE VER SES  TRUTH  - BELIEVER S LOVE THEIR SIBLINGS BECAUSE GOD COMMANDS IT AND BECAUSE SIBLINGS CAR RY HIS IMAGE.  UNTRUTHS  - EVERYONE K NOWS SIBLINGS ARE A BIG PAIN SO DISLIK ING THEM IS ONLY NATUR AL.  - IF MY SIBLINGS WILL TRE AT ME LIK E I WANT TO BE TRE ATED, I’LL CONSIDER LIK ING THEM.  - I WOULD BE MORE GR ATEF UL IF I WAS AN ONLY CHILD AND HAD NO SIBLINGS.

3. E XPLORE SCR IPTURE: READ ALOUD 1 JOHN 4:20-21. IN VITE YOUR FAMILY TO DISCUSS THIS STATEMENT BY

COMMENTATOR S JAMIESON, FAUSSET, AND BROWN: “THE TRUE IDE AL OF MAN, LOST IN ADAM, IS RE ALIZED IN CHR IST, IN WHOM GOD IS REVE ALED AS HE IS, AND MAN AS HE OUGHT TO BE. THUS, BY FAITH IN CHR IST, WE LE AR N TO LOVE BOTH THE TRUE GOD, AND THE TRUE MAN, AND SO TO LOVE THE BRETHREN AS BE AR ING HIS IMAGE.” ASK YOUR CHILDREN TO SET JOK ING ASIDE AND TO IDENTIF Y HOW THEIR SIBLINGS CAR RY THE IMAGE OF GOD. LE AD THE FAMILY TO DISCUSS THIS QUESTION FROM SCHOLAR MATTHEW HENRY: “HOW THEN SHALL THE HATER OF A VISIBLE IMAGE OF GOD PRETEND TO LOVE THE UNSEEN OR IGINAL, THE IN VISIBLE GOD HIMSELF?”

4. THINK IT THROUGH: A TEENAGER WILL LEAD THIS STEP. 5. NAIL IT DOWN: READ ALOUD MATTHEW 22:39. SAY: THE BIBLE IS F ULL OF COMMANDS FOR BELIEVER S. I HAVE

JUST READ THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT COMMAND IN THE ENTIRE BOOK. POINT OUT THAT THE K EY TO E AR NING RESPECT AND LOVE FROM OTHER S (INCLUDING SIBLINGS) IS TO LOVE OTHER S (INCLUDING SIBLINGS) AS YOU LOVE YOUR SELF. SAY: GOD IN HIS BR ILLIANCE HAS GIVEN US AN AMAZINGLY PR ACTICAL PR INCIPLE FOR LIFE. DISCUSS HOW FOLLOWING THIS PR INCIPLE COULD INFLUENCE FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS IN ARE AS LIK E RESPECTING PR IVACY, PER SONAL PROPERTY, OR OTHER POTENTIAL TROU BLE SPOTS.

6. PR AY: ASK YOUR CHILDREN TO STAND IN THE CENTER OF THE ROOM WITH THE BACK S TO E ACH OTHER. SAY: IF

CHR IST HAD NOT COME INTO THE WOR LD AND BECOME THE LOR D OF OUR FAMILY, WE COULD E XPECT MOST RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS FAMILY TO BE BROK EN. ASK YOUR CHILDREN TO FACE E ACH OTHER, HOLDING HANDS. THEN STAND NEAR THEM AND PR AY. THANK CHR IST FOR HIS WORK IN TR ANSFOR MING YOUR HOME AND ASK HIM TO BLESS FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS FOR HIS GLORY.

7. BLESSING: SAY: I BLESS THIS FAMILY FOR BE AR ING THE IMAGE OF CHR IST AND FOR LOVING OTHER S IN HIS NAME.

PARENT TIP: MIDDLE SCHOOLER S HOME ALONE AFTER SCHOOL ARE AT A HIGHER R ISK THAN OLDER GR ADE

SCHOOLER S HOME ALONE. THE PRESENCE OF A PARENT AFTER SCHOOL NOT ONLY FILLS EMOTIONAL TANK S, BUT ALSO CAN SAVE LIVES.

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2015 / May

Senior Sunday

SE Asia Go Training 201 Town Hall Meeting

MS / HS worship/meal Town Hall Meeting

MS / HS worship/meal HOME 22:6 SEMINAR (PARENTS)

NY GO 101

Mothers Day

MS SERVICE DAY @ PINNACLE (OPTION 1)

MS SERVICE DAY @ PINNACLE (OPTION 2)

Memorial Day

Offices Closed

COMING SOON

June 6 June 7 June 7 June 22 June 15-19 June 23-July 2 June 28 July 12 July 13-17 July 18-24

HS Guys Hiking Trip (Tentative) New York GO training 201 @ 4pm Commissioning for GO Trips SE Asia GO training 301 @ 4pm Collide Summer Camp SE Asia GO Trip God and Country Service New York GO training 301 @ 4pm Vacation Bible School New York GO Trip

MAY 2015 EMPOWER

to fill your life, it will never let you down. Romans 5:5 reads, “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

HOPEFUL MOMS No person, from a Christ-follower to a staunch atheist, is exempt from the challenges and struggles that come along with the journey through this life. Still, I think one of the biggest diﬀerences between the Christ-followers and those who are not — is that the Christ-follower has access to an incredible source of hope. This type of hope is powerful. It makes a diﬀerence. It is a key component of the Christian life.

Let me leave you with some practical characteristics of moms who exhibit the power of hope:

True, most people “hope” for something. Some hope for good health. Some hope that they win the lottery. These kinds of hope are expressions of our desires. The Christian variety of hope however is much deeper. Our Christian hope is called a “living hope” in the Scripture. It is grounded upon the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:3). The Christian’s hope is more than just a fanciful wish. It’s the assurance that God will keep his promises to us. We read in Hebrews 10:23, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” This hope gives us the reason to face tomorrow with confidence.

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Hopeful moms are optimistic. They look for the best in situations and in their kids instead of picking out the worst.

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Hopeful moms focus on the future not on the past. They look forward to opening new doors when other doors have closed.

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Hopeful moms view problems as opportunities.

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Hopeful moms have a real view of circumstances but refuse to resort to cynicism.

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Hopeful moms understand that God still cares for them and their families in the midst of diﬃcult situations.

BY JIM BURNS, PRESIDENT OF HOMEWORD

EQUIP

If you are a mother, there have likely been days when you’ve struggled with hope. Perhaps your kids have been misbehaving, or you aren’t feeling the kind of support from your family that you need in order to thrive. You might be concerned about what kind of adult your child will grow into. Maybe you just can’t see beyond this “season” in life. If any of these scenarios ring true, let me share some special words of encouragement. If you can raise your head above the waterline of anxiety and look to the Lord as your source of strength and hope, I believe you will find relief for your soul.

OVERVALUING KIDS FOSTERS NARCISSISM A recent study published online in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, suggests that parents who believe their child is more special than other kids may be fostering narcissism in their children.

The study*, conducted by researchers from Ohio State University, found that parents often innocently and with best intentions, provide exaggerated support to their children to boost self-esteem and confidence.

The hope you have makes a big diﬀerence on your children. You can give your kids a tremendous gift by sharing hope with them. Passing along hope is a wonderful legacy. It begins, of course, by modeling the Christian life openly before your children. You plant these seeds of hope in their lives as you respond with hope even in the midst of life’s most diﬃcult challenges. When you live life with hope, you teach your kids that that God holds your (and their) future safely in His hands. When you allow God’s hope

But the results of parental overvaluation were linked with children scoring higher on narcissism tests then parents who did not overvalue their children, and no link was discovered to better self-esteem.

“Children believe it when their parents tell them that they are more special than others. That may not be good for them or for society,” said lead study author, Dr. Eddie Brummelman of OSU.

MAY 2015

By contrast, the research showed that children whose parents who did not overvalue them, but demonstrated more emotional warmth toward them, were associated with higher self-esteem, but not with increased levels of narcissism.

What Parents Can Do:

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Understand that parents who overvalue their kids can actually cause long-term damage to them by planting the seed in the child’s mind that the world revolves around “me.” Unchecked narcissism is not an endearing trait in anyone!

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Kids who grow into emotionally healthy adults have parents who are appropriately involved in their lives. Believe in them but don’t foster an unrealistic view of who your kids are, and are becoming. Teenagers have builtin sincerity “radar,” and they instinctively know when parents are oﬀering praise that is out of step with reality.

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Parents should give kids unlimited amounts of A.W.E.: Aﬀection, Warmth, and Encouragement. When you oﬀer these priceless gifts, your children will thrive and gain healthy self-esteem.

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Encourage your kids to develop their gifts, skills, and strengths. Help them to recognize and minimize their weaknesses. But remember that not every kid is going to be the next American Idol, an academic genius, or a professional athlete. Provide lots of emotional support, and help them grow into the person that God has uniquely created.

BY JIM LIEBELT SENIOR WRITER/EDITOR FOR HOMEWORD

ENABLE

5 ROLES YOUTH WORKERS PLAY IN THE LIVES OF TEENS We’ve all seen them: articles, videos, and lectures given by people who don’t believe youth ministry is necessary or even biblical. While these people certainly are entitled to their opinions, and while most of them are sincerely seeking the most eﬀective and God-honoring way to do ministry, I don’t

agree with them. I think youth ministry is necessary. I think it’s biblical. And in some ways, I think it can even be vital.

There are roles a youth worker plays in the life of our teenagers that can be essential to our students spiritual development.

In most cases, these roles are played out alongside a parent. In some cases, these roles take the place of a parent who can’t or won’t play them. Here are five roles a youth worker can and should play in the lives of the teenagers to whom they minister.

Reinforcer My daughters listen to their mother. I can oﬀer advice that sometimes goes unheeded. But if my wife says the same thing, they’ll follow it. Funny how that works. ☺ We can play the same role in the lives of teenagers. Our message can be the same as their parents. But because it

Confidant Let’s face it: there are issues that teenagers deal with that they don’t feel comfortable talking with their parents about. As youth workers, we can be a sounding board for these types of issues. A listening ear. A voice of reason. Issues with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Issues with sexual temptation. Relational issues. We can provide advice, prayer, and encouragement for issues that so many teenagers just feel weird talking to mom and dad about.

Of course, there is a huge caveat here. We can never keep secrets. I tell the teenagers in my small groups that they can trust me with their issues, but the moment they tell me something that is potentially harmful to them or harmful to someone else, mom and dad are going to get involved. We can also never operate in place of mom or dad. We should always ask two questions: “Do your parents known about this?” And “How do your parents feel about this,” and strive to support their authority in their son or daughter’s lives. Being a confidant is a vital role, but one where common sense has to be exercised.

Role Model

comes from us, a non-parent adult engaged in their life, many times it makes more of an impact. Guess what: this isn’t in spite of their parents; it’s because of it. The best thing we can do as a youth worker is reinforce the biblical values being taught by our teenager’s parents.

Decompressor My oldest daughter has begun a mentoring relationship with a youth worker at our church. The last meeting they had together followed a morning where my daughter had found herself on the wrong side of several or our family rules. I know that during her lunch with her mentor she vented some. And you know what? I’m totally OK with that. Teenagers need to blow oﬀ steam. You did when you were a teenager. So did I. I love that I am a safe place for my students to vent. We can allow them to decompress in an environment that is supportive of their parents and encouraging of them as individuals.

Many of our students don’t have a parent in their home who models a life devoted to Christ. This is tragic. We have the opportunity week in and week out to model what it looks like to pursue Christ above all else, to value meeting God regularly in His Word, to worship God wholeheartedly, and to serve others in Christ’s name. For teenagers without role models, this is vital. For teenagers with parental role models, it’s more of a good thing.

Teacher We each have the chance to, in the words of Paul in Ephesians 3:19, help students know [the love of Christ] that surpasses knowledge.” In my experience, there are a number of parents out there who aren’t in the practice of teaching their children to grow closer to Christ. For those that do, we are a wonderful supplement. For those that don’t, we stand in the gap. The opportunity to weekly showing teenagers God in His Word is one of my favorite things in the world. It’s a role we should all take seriously and approach with great joy.

BY ANDY BL ANKS, VETERAN STUDENT PASTOR AND CO-FOUNDER OF YM360.

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