Discretion booklet excerpt

CONTENTS

Biblical Character Illustrated Curriculum Illustrated in Scripture “The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple” (Psalm 19:7b). Biblical

2 Introduction

character is illustrated in this curriculum

2 How to Use This Curriculum

through both artwork and lessons from

3 Goals and Objectives

the lives of people in God’s Word. We most

4 Character Quality Overview

often benefit from the positive examples of faithful men and women. “For whatso-

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Lesson 1: Choose My Words Carefully

ever things were written aforetime were

8 Bible Story: Elihu Carefully Addresses His Elders

written for our learning, that we through

9 Memory Verse: Proverbs 25:11

patience and comfort of the scriptures

10 Activity: The Beauty of Kind Words

might have hope” (Romans 15:4). And there

11 Lesson 2: Choose the Wise Path

were people in the Bible who are representations of poor character, and we can

12 Bible Story: A Young King Makes a Choice

learn from their lives as well. “Now these

13 Memory Verse: Proverbs 22:3

things were our examples, to the intent we

14 Activity: Make Your Choice!

should not lust after evil things, as they

15 Lesson 3: Control My Emotions

16 Bible Story: Moses’ Rash Sin Brings Severe Consequences

also lusted” (I Corinthians 10:6). We would be wise to learn from the testimonies God has given us in Scripture.

17 Memory Verse: James 1:19–20

Illustrated in Life

18 Activity: Input-Output

“Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by

19 L esson 4: Turn Down Any Invitation to Do Wrong

the word of God” (Romans 10:17). Hearing the Word of God causes us to grow in faith.

This curriculum offers many practical

20 Bible Story: Joseph’s Narrow Escape

applications of God’s Word to everyday

21 Memory Verse: Genesis 39:9b

life. “But be ye doers of the word, and not

22 Activity: Word Search

hearers only” (James 1:22). As God enables

23 Additional Resources

us to act in faith, our lives as believers will illustrate His character to others.

23 Hymn History: “Lord, Speak to Me”

by Frances Havergal

24 Hymn Sheet Music: “Lord, Speak to Me”

25 Explaining Salvation to a Child

26 Journal Entry and Application Chart

27 Reproducible Coloring Pages

31 Answer Key

The character of God is illustrated in Scripture.

May it also be illustrated in our lives.

Character Quality Overview What is Discretion?

Read aloud, study, and discuss what discretion means and how it applies to life.

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he operational definition of discretion is “the ability to avoid words, actions, and attitudes which could result in undesirable consequences.” A person practices discretion by thoughtfully considering possible consequences before taking action. He values silence, both to allow himself to think before he speaks, and then after he has spoken, to allow the hearer to consider his message. He is cautious and thoughtful, not reckless and impulsive, because he knows careless actions often hurt people and damage relationships. He wants to help others, and he realizes others may be influenced by his When pursued, the fox constantly evaluates his direction choice of activities, music, and makes strategic changes and entertainment. He does to avoid being tracked by his not laugh at or make jokes scent or sound. at the expense of others.

He dresses modestly in consideration of others, not wanting his attire to be a stumbling block for them.

He also knows that, as a Christian, his choices can bring honor or disgrace to Christ’s name. Acting with discretion preserves and protects us and prevents unwanted problems. (See Proverbs 2:10–12, 16, and 20.)

The opposite of discretion is simplemindedness. A simpleminded person is not attentive to what is going on around him. Who is speaking? What is being said?

What is happening? Ignoring one’s surroundings can bring trouble. (See Proverbs 22:3.) Such a lack of caution and care can lead to rash, foolhardy, and

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inappropriate behavior. However, Proverbs is filled with insights on how to grow in wisdom, prudence, and discretion. It promises to give “subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion” (Proverbs 1:4). As you apply the wisdom found in Proverbs and learn from experience, God will enable you to rightly discern what words, actions, and attitudes should be avoided.

How do we know which choices are best? Discretion is learned as we seek God’s wisdom from His Word.

The Holy Spirit faithfully guides us in each situation.

Considering possible results is helpful in discerning appropriate behavior. The following questions can help you think ahead as to the best course of action: If I do this or say that, what might happen? What would I need to do next?

How could these words be misunderstood?

How might others be affected by my attitude?

Would this be an appropriate time to speak, or would it be better for me to remain silent?

A person with discretion is sensitive to the Lord’s leading, even if it means doing nothing! He asks the Lord for wisdom to know how to respond with the right words, proper actions, and Godly attitudes.

An attractive outward appearance never makes up for a lack of discretion. “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion” (Proverbs 11:22).

Discretion in Scripture Read aloud and discuss each verse, question, and concept.

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roverbs 2:1–6 says, “My son, if thou wilt receive

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The Holy Spirit helps us to understand the deep things of God so that we can speak with God’s wisdom, not man’s. (See I Corinthians 2:10, 13–14.)

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The Holy Spirit inspired the prophets to speak the right words. (See II Peter 1:21.)

my words, and hide my commandments with

thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand

DISCRETION IN MY LIFE

the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.

Now let’s examine some ways God wants us to live out discretion daily.

For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.” What a privilege to study the rich truths of God’s Word, hide them in your heart, and apply them to daily life! These truths are priceless treasures, far above the value and beauty of rubies and diamonds. As you dig deeper into God’s

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Do I ask God to guard my words? (See Psalm 141:3.)

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How important is it to watch what I say?

(See Proverbs 13:3.)

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Is it prudent to believe everything I hear? What should I do instead? (See Proverbs 14:15.)

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What path is chosen by most people? Which path do I want to choose? (See Matthew 7:13–14.)

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Is a lack of discretion a “mouth” problem or a “heart” problem? (See Matthew 12:34.)

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If I am motivated by love, will I behave unseemly or demonstrate discretion? (See I Corinthians 13:5.)

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What words, actions, and attitudes lead to undesirable consequences? (See Ephesians 5:1–6.)

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What does God’s grace teach me about how to act?

(See Titus 2:11–12.)

Word, see Who He is, and allow Him to work in you, your life will be a radiant expression of His love. He will be glorified as His character is seen in you.

THE CHARACTER OF GOD We see examples of discretion in God’s character in the following ways: •

God carefully chose His words with Adam and Eve, leading them to admit their sin. (See Genesis 3:9–13.)

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God makes a way for us to avoid undesirable consequences. (See John 3:15–16 and Psalm 19:7–11.)

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Jesus discerned the Pharisees’ deception and prudently answered their questions with a

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question. (See Mark 12:13–17.)

DISCRETION KEY VERSE

Jesus recognized that silence was the appropri-

“A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and

ate response when He stood before Herod for questioning. (See Luke 23:8–9.)

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Jesus used discretion to calmly defuse a tense

hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” PROVERBS 22:3

situation. (See John 8:3–11.)

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Discretion GEMs Read and discuss how you could apply each GEM. GEM is an acronym for “God Enables Me.” This phrase

even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (II Corinthians 3:18).

begins each of the ten statements that describe the

The four colored GEM statements will be the focus of

change that results as we behold the Lord and yield

the four character lessons in this booklet. Let’s read

to the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives. “But we all, with

together the ten “God Enables Me” statements and take

open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord,

time to meditate on the Scriptures that help us under-

are changed into the same image from glory to glory,

stand these aspects of discretion from God’s Word.

God Enables Me to . . .

Model His goodness in my words and actions.

“But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.” I PETER 1:15–16

Choose the wise path.

“When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee. . . . That thou mayest walk in the way of good men, and keep the paths of the righteous.”

PROVERBS 2:10–11, 20

Consider consequences.

“There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” PROVERBS 14:12

Control my emotions.

“Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.”

PSALM 37:7–8

Value silence.

“Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” PROVERBS 17:28 “A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.” ECCLESIASTES 3:7

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Learn from mistakes.

“Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted.”

I CORINTHIANS 10:6

Choose my words carefully.

“A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it.” PROVERBS 15:23

Practice good manners.

“Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD.” LEVITICUS 19:32

Avoid gossip.

“A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.” PROVERBS 16:28 “For I fear, lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I would, and that I shall be found unto you such as ye would not: lest there be debates, envyings, wraths, strifes, backbitings, whisperings, swellings, tumults.”

II CORINTHIANS 12:20

Turn down any invitation to do wrong.

“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” II TIMOTHY 2:22 “My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. . . . My son, walk not thou in the way with them; refrain thy foot from their path.” PROVERBS 1:10, 15

LESSON 1

GOD ENABLES ME TO

Choose My Words Carefully INTRODUCTION What if someone followed you around one day, wrote down every word you said, and then posted them publicly for all to see? You might become more careful about choosing your words! Jesus warns us, “But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment� (Matthew 12:36). Idle words are useless and unproductive. Sometimes it is better to say nothing at all! When something does need to be said, a person with discretion finds a gracious way and a fitting time to say it. Every word of God is pure and accomplishes a righteous, intended purpose. (See Isaiah 55:11.) As we allow God to conform us to His likeness, we will develop discretion, choosing words that are purposeful and edifying to others.

Elihu Carefully Addresses His Elders

DISCRETION The ability to avoid words, actions, and attitudes which could result in undesirable consequences

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BIBLE STORY ELIHU CAREFULLY ADDRESSES HIS ELDERS

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fter several sudden catastrophes, a man named

sin he had committed. Job, however, insisted that

Job found he had lost everything he had: his herds

he had been blameless before the Lord. Meanwhile,

of animals, his servants, his health, and even his ten

a fourth man named Elihu listened intently as the

children! Why would such terrible things happen to a

men contended with one another. Being younger, he

God-fearing man who was upright and shunned evil?

respectfully remained silent. However, as Elihu waited

Three of Job’s friends heard the devastating news and

patiently, his desire to share his perspective grew

traveled from their various homes to come comfort

stronger and he felt he could wait no longer. Would

him. Job’s grief over his tragic loss was so great that

he wait for the most appropriate time to speak? What

the men sat together in complete silence for seven

words would he choose to most effectively commu-

days. Afterward, the words came and a long debate

nicate the burden on his heart? Read the following

commenced. Job’s three friends concluded that his

excerpt from Elihu’s speech, and note the ways he used

trouble was undeniably God’s chastisement for some

discretion in presenting his case to Job and his friends.

BIBLE STORY QUESTIONS Read Job 32:1–33:4 together and discuss the following questions: 1. What did Elihu observe about Job from listening to him speak? (See Job 32:1–2.)

Can you think of a time when you discerned someone’s attitude by being quiet, listening, and observing?

2. Why did Elihu wait to speak? (See Job 32:4.)

What have you learned by listening to those who are older than you?

3. What group of people did Elihu say usually has more wisdom? (See Job 32:6–7.)

What words, actions, and attitudes could you choose to show your parents that you value their experience and wisdom?

4. From where does Elihu say understanding comes?

(See Job 32:8.)

When was a time you prayed and asked God to give you the right words to speak?

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5. Was Elihu eagerly wanting to share his opinion, or was he just happy to remain silent?

(See Job 32:18–19.)

When is it difficult to wait for your turn to speak?

What benefits would come from waiting for the right time to speak instead of interrupting?

6. What words did Elihu avoid? What consequences did he foresee if he would have said such words?

(See Job 32:21–22.)

Do you purposefully avoid certain words that you know would be offensive? What words could you choose to say instead?

7. What was the motivation behind Elihu’s words to his older friend Job? (See Job 33:2–3.)

Luke 6:45 refers to “good treasure.” How can you store this good treasure in your heart to draw from when you act and speak?

LESSON 1

MEMORY VERSE PROVERBS 25:11

Play the game together to help the children commit Proverbs 25:11 to memory. In the section “Doers of the Word,” have the children record how they will apply the verse to their lives.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”

PROVERBS 25:11

MEMORY VERSE GAME Category Stand-ups Call out a category. Some examples of categories would be “everyone who is wearing yellow,” or “everyone who likes scrambled eggs,” or “everyone who read a book this week.” When the category is called, those who fit the description stand up and say the verse together. Continue to play until the verse is memorized and everyone can say the verse without looking at it.

DOERS OF THE WORD In the blank below, write how this verse could be applied in your life, e.g., “be sensitive to the right time to speak,” or “be respectful in my appeals,” or “make sure any advice I give is consistent with Your Word.’”

“Dear Lord, I yield to You and am willing to apply this verse. Help me to _______________ ________________________________________ ________________________________________.

I ask that You would develop discretion in my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

When the Lord gives you an opportunity to apply this verse, write it in your journal to later recall God’s working in your life.

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ACTIVITY THE BEAUTY OF KIND WORDS

INTRODUCTION During this character study we are asking the Lord to develop discretion in our lives. What a privilege to respond to the work He is doing to change us into the image of His Son! Is there anything more beautiful than the outflow of God’s graciousness through a person’s life? Today’s craft is a reminder of how pleasant it is to speak the right words at the right time.

Supplies: • • • • • •

8.5" x 11" piece of cardboard Aluminum foil Tape Permanent marker Paper apples (templates on page 32) “Gold” such as glitter glue, sequins, jewels, or crayons

Instructions Create a silver picture by covering an 8.5" x 11" piece of cardboard with aluminum foil. Tape the aluminum foil on the back of the cardboard so that the cardboard stays covered. Use the marker to draw a rectangle 1 ½" in from the edges of the frame to separate the frame from the picture. Draw another rectangle 1" in from the frame. Add squiggly lines or other designs to decorate your silver frame. Cut out a paper rectangle and write Proverbs 25:11 on it. Tape it to the bottom of your frame.

Cut out your 8 apples and decorate them. Take the time to make your apples beautiful by coloring them with gold

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crayons or covering them with gold glitter glue, sequins, or jewels.

Now we are going to use your frames and gold apples throughout the study of this character quality. Whenever you hear a family member speak the right word at the right time, tape an apple of gold in the picture of silver. Demonstrating discretion by carefully choosing our words is a beautiful character quality that God is eager to develop in our lives. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).

Hymn History “Lord, Speak to Me” Sing “Lord, Speak to Me” and read about the discretion of the hymn writer, Frances Havergal.

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he young girl sat quietly beside her mother’s bed.

She waited silently for her mother, who was

more poetry and hymns. Miss Havergal once shared, “Writing hymns is like praying, for I never seem to write

deathly ill, to speak. Softly her mother said, “Fanny

even a verse by myself. I feel like a child writing. . . .

dear, pray God to prepare you for all He is preparing

A child will look up

for you.” Her mother’s dying words became Frances

at every sentence

Havergal’s lifelong prayer. Only eleven years old when

and ask, ‘What shall

her mother died, Miss Havergal turned to her Savior

I say next?’ That is

through a disciplined prayer life. Concentrated time

what I do. Every line

with her Lord enabled Miss Havergal to know her

and word and rhyme

Savior and His grace for living a life of discretion.

comes from God.”

Miss Havergal began reading at age three and writing

Isn’t that what

poetry when she was seven. Her writing opened the

discretion is: Before

door to a special friend in her life when she was older.

speaking or acting,

That friend was Fanny Crosby who also enjoyed a close

asking God, “What

relationship with her heavenly Father while writing

shall I say [or do]

poems and hymns for His glory. Although the two

next?” Miss Havergal’s

women never met in person, Miss Havergal admired

relationship with God

Fanny Crosby and her joy in the Lord. Despite the two

guided her words,

ladies being on opposite sides of a vast ocean, their

actions, and attitudes. Her hymn, “Lord, Speak to Me,”

friendship was filled with mutual encouragement and enjoyment through their letters and poems. Miss

Frances R. Havergal (1836–1879)

is a prayer, asking God to grant the same words and actions that He has:

Havergal showed discretion in choosing a friend who

Lord, speak to me that I may speak

shared her desire to grow spiritually and to write that

In living echoes of Thy tone;

which would glorify God.

As Thou hast sought, so let me seek

Besides the sorrow of losing her mother when she was

Thine erring children lost and lone.

young, Miss Havergal experienced the difficulty of a

This hymn tells how we, too, can have discretion.

long illness when she was older. However, instead of

In whatever we do, we need to allow God to direct

succumbing to the temptation to feel sorry for herself

us. As we seek to bring God glory, may we ask Him

during nine years of poor health, she chose to focus on

to enable us to recognize and wisely avoid those

studying God’s Word and spending time with Him in

words, actions, and attitudes that could bring

prayer. Those particular years resulted in her writing

undesirable consequences.

Photo courtesy of www.hymntime.com/tch

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Explaining Salvation to a Child Christ Our Righteousness Before reading to the children, write examples of sin (selfishness, mean words, lying, stealing, disobedience, rudeness, wrong thoughts, good actions without faith, etc.) on several sticky notes. You will also need a white bed sheet or bathrobe to represent Jesus’ robe of righteousness.

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he Bible tells us about God. He is the Creator of the universe and is holy. God loves us and created us to have fellowship with Him. (See Revelation 4:11.)

Select a child to stand and represent all people.

Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Sin is anything we think, say, or do that breaks God’s Law. Can you name some examples of sin?

If we accept His gift of salvation, God no longer sees our sin when He looks at us!

Put the white sheet around the child.

Now when God looks at us, He instead sees the righteousness of Christ! Isaiah 61:10 describes what has happened this way: “My soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of right-

Now place the sticky notes with examples of sin onto his clothes.

eousness. . . .” In Romans 10:9–10, we are told how we

Because God is holy, our sin separates us from having fellowship with Him. However, because God loves us so much, He sent His Son, Jesus, to take the punishment for our sin. Jesus died on the cross and rose again, conquering death! Now we can have fellowship with God. (See John 17:3.)

thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine

can accept this gift: “That if thou shalt confess with heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

Are you relying on the righteousness of Christ for your salvation? If so, your sins are forgiven and

In a Nutshell 1. God created all things (Colossians 1:16). God is holy (Leviticus 19:2).

God loves us (John 3:16).

2. Our sin separates us from God (Romans 3:23).

3. God sent His Son, Jesus, to provide the way for our sins

His burial, and His glorious resurrection (I Corinthians 15:3–4).

4. We can do nothing to earn salvation. It is a free gift from God that we receive by faith (Ephesians 2:8–9).

5. We receive that gift of salvation

to be forgiven and for fellow-

by confessing with our mouth

ship with Him to be restored

that Jesus is Lord and believing

(Ephesians 1:6–7). Jesus accom-

in our heart that God has

plished our salvation through

raised Him from the dead

His crucifixion on the cross,

(Romans 10:9–10).

covered, and Christ is living in you! Just as the Apostle Paul wrote in Galatians 2:20, you can also say, “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

God gives us eternal life—sweet, constant fellowship in the Spirit with our Savior— and then His righteousness is seen in us for His glory. (See John 15:4–10.)

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JOURNAL ENTRY Record how God gave your family opportunities to apply this character quality.

APPLICATION CHART Searching for the rich truths of God’s Word and applying them in your life is far more valuable than discovering rubies and diamonds. Add a check mark, sticker, or initials in a diamond each time God enables someone to apply discretion in one of the suggested ways. Let’s set a goal and then celebrate, not only the accomplishment of applying God’s Word, but also our gratefulness for the work He is doing in our lives.

Spoke well of others in their absence.

Learned from a mistake.

Refrained from buying something you did not need.

Memorized a specific verse to help control an emotion.

Turned down an invitation to participate in an unwise activity.

Tried to understand someone instead of arguing with them.

Waited your turn to speak instead of interrupting.

Did not laugh at inappropriate jokes or foolish behavior.

Used good manners.

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Spoke words of encouragement to others.

LESSON 1: Elihu Carefully Addresses His Elders

“Elihu also proceeded, and said, Suffer me a little, and I will shew thee that I have yet to speak on God’s behalf. I will fetch my knowledge from afar, and will ascribe righteousness to my Maker” (Job 36:1–3).

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