Health & Homeschool

When it comes to the physical and mental health of my children, I’ve always believed it’s far more important for them

to ‘be well’ than to ‘do well’. I’m also a firm believer in giving children choices.

Compartmentalising a child’s education within a systematic routine seems to be largely accepted globally as the typical parental choice or obligation. However, evidence suggests that the environment of conventional schooling presents well-being issues for children of all ages.

The most commonly recognised and monitored mental health issues of children in mainstream UK schools include anxiety disorders, eating disorders and mood disorders.

While mental health labels can be useful for increasing awareness and understanding of a child’s sensitivities, fears, triggers or fragilities, does the constant labelling actually help? Does categorising and correcting the behaviours of children disparage their individuality?

Our mainstream school model subjects children to schedules, categories and grades. For children who display disordered behaviours in this environment, perhaps it would be more beneficial to remove the boundaries surrounding them. Without boundaries and expectations, many behavioural patterns would not be regarded as problematic. And without pressure to conform/perform, which can apply intensity and scrutiny to the behaviours of children, patterns of behaviour will sometimes naturally abate.

My own daughter is anxious by nature. As we home educate with a relaxed and child-led approach, we are not bound by a tight schedule and therefore nothing is forced or pressured, largely she is free to create her own boundaries and in contrast tear them down. Homeschool gives her the space and freedom to address and resolve her anxieties, processing and managing them in her own way. It’s wonderful to watch her independently break down her reservations and reluctance, and negotiate conditions under which she feels comfortable.

Many issues we work around at home I feel would present greater challenges for her under the conditions of a mainstream school. For example, her fussy eating habits were never

resolved at nursery and pre-school. Sitting down to eat a set menu in a designated area at scheduled times, only increased her resistance. By allowing her the freedom to choose when and what she wants to eat (within reason), she is gradually and steadily developing a more adventurous and healthy relationship with food. Overall, I feel she is learning to manage her decision-making process in a very healthy and adult way.

Why do we expect making decisions & setting boundaries to come naturally to us in adulthood, when it isn’t taught to be harnessed during childhood?

With adulthood in mind, it is also crucial for parents and caregivers to stop and evaluate their own health and well-being. The lockdown of 2020 ensured most parents felt pressured to commit all time and attention to the needs of their children. Without childcare, classes or close attention own decisions based on how they feel. Each time

extracurricular activities, many parents were suppressive. Acknowledging a child’s anger or

left feeling an overwhelming and undeniable need for time alone or for rest. Time alone is like gold dust to the home educating parent. It’s important to remember that even when time alone is not possible, time for yourself is necessary.

If this means momentarily switching off from parental or domestic responsibilities, stepping back from work demands, or postponing tasks, this must be done when necessary to maintain personally learned that if I do not schedule or spontaneously steal time to unwind and rest, my physical health will force me to. Health enables all other things to be possible, and deserves more focus than our society recognises or even allows. I encourage my children to pay to their feelings, both physical and mental, and where possible they are free to make their a decision is made without consulting them it invalidates their feelings, and diminishes the importance of understanding their own needs. There is no single recipe for the health and well-being of all adults, and the same is true of children; we are all individuals.

It is considered ‘normal’ to educate children about the importance of physical exercise, a nutritious diet, and a balanced lifestyle. I feel it’s equally important to teach children how to properly address their feelings and thoughts. Mocking a child for being ‘moody’ or ‘tired’ is peace of mind and replenish energy. I have

sadness with empathy is nurturing, and not only does it teach them to respect their own well-being, it demonstrates respect and care for others.

Ultimately if my children learn to choose health and happiness above all else, I’ll feel they’ve acquired life’s most principal skill.

Article By Missy Hitchcox

Missy Hitchcox is a Norfolk mother of two. She has a background of English Literature and Creative Writing studies. Her professional career has centred on the Beauty industry, and she now home educates her children.