Positive
content
6
From the founders Why it had to be “I Create Positivity”
INSPIRING STORIES 8
Interview with the founders
17
Migraine turned into a rare brain disease but that did not stop her from living life to the fullest
24
Drugs, alcohol & 5 serious suicide attempts
28
How this brave soul survived & thrived from a horrific childhood Single mother to new found strength and success
33 35 39 43
Now the founder of a health retreat in Spain!
From overweight to finishing a half marathon in just 9 weeks Shy and withdrawn now a passionate wealth speaker and educator The tough gets tougher and stronger moving on from domestic violence
LIFE & HIGHLIGHTS 48
What’s in the stars
50
Positive Highlights
52
Our thanks & contributors
EXPERT ADVICE 15 26
30
The missing links to happiness Expert advice on drugs & alcohol addiction Winning the battle with depression
37
A beginner’s guide to exercise
46
Finding love is not just about the list
OUR E-MAG’S MISSION TO SEEK THE HEROES IN OUR COMMUNITY AND GIVE THEM A PLATFORM IN WHICH TO SHARE THEIR STORY AND WISDOM. ALSO TO PROVIDE CUTTING EDGE, RELEVANT AND EFFECTIVE EXPERT INFORMATION AND TOOLS SO AS TO HELP OTHERS GOING THROUGH A DIFFICULT TIME OR SEEKING TO CREATE LASTING POSITIVE CHANGE IN THEIR LIFE.
BECOME OUR SPONSOR TO INCREASE YOUR BRAND LOYALTY AND BE SEEN AS A SUPPORTER FOR POSITIVE MOVEMENTS. You can also advertise with us with flexible options. To find out more details, contact us at promotions@icreatepositivity.com
FROM THE FOUNDERS
WHY IT HAD TO BE I CREATE POSITIVITY - MESSAGE FROM IRIS
i
Create Positivity E-Magazine was born from a dream, and that dream was to spread positivity around the globe by sharing stories of ordinary people who broke through their challenges and created their own positivity. Every day when I turn on the news, all I see was sad stories of who died, who killed who and who did the unjust. We believed that this world need more stories of positivity to fill and warm people’s hearts. More importantly, we believed that by sharing these real stories of everyday people could help those who are struggling to break through their own limitations and spread the light. Our first issue has proven to be more challenging than we anticipated however, with the support and understanding of our contributors, writers, editors, graphics experts and our fans, we have finally delivered our life work. We sincerely ask for your forgiveness for the delay and we hope you would enjoy our very first edition of our E-Magazine.
Iris Wang Co-Founder | Chief Editor
I CREATE POSITIVITY E-Magazine
Is published by I Create Positivity (ABN 49 931 467 758) ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES: promotions@icreatepositivity.com or Visit http://icreatepositivity.com/media-kit/ to download our media kit.
FROM THE FOUNDERS
MESSAGE FROM PETROS - WHY IT HAD TO BE I CREATE POSITIVITY
ICP
E-Magazine was designed with a clear purpose and that was to show there are heroes that live amongst us, everyday human beings like you and me that achieved something amazing when it made no sense for them to do so. We wanted to bridge the gap in most people’s mind of what success is and what is possible and reachable and provide an entertaining, simple, informative and most of all inspiring platform to educate them on how they can do so for themselves. We wanted to keep it real, relevant and relatable as we felt this was the best recipe for success in what we were looking to achieve with our magazine.
Petros Galanoulis Co-Founder
GENERAL ENQURIES: info@icreatepositivity.com SUBCRIBE TO RECEIVE UPDATE ON THE NEXT ISSUE: www.icreatepositivity.com
INTERVIEW WITH THE FOUNDERS
Iris Wang
Born into a humble family, Iris Wang started investing in property at the age of 20, as well as being fortunate enough to work closely with many well known property investment and finance companies, on top of running her own business in Queensland. Life was on the up from 2001 to 2007.
I
ris Wang’s goal was to one day build enough wealth to get her family out of the rat race. This all came crashing down in 2009 when a combination of issues: relationship failures, the Global Financial Crisis (GFC) and mental illness all hit her at once. With the support of her friends and family, Iris has rebuilt her life in 5 years and is now dedicating her life to helping others do the same.
What was life like before you almost lost everything? My parents moved to Australia (from China) in their early 30’s to rebuild their lives from the ground up. They worked really hard. They sacrificed everything for the family and saved every cent there was to buy a house and send us to school. At the age of 20 when I got my first proper full- time job, I was determined to work hard, invest in my knowledge, learn what successful people do and grow my wealth so that I could repay them one day. And boy did I work hard! For the first 5 years of my career, I worked my butt off, 10 to 12 hours on weekdays and on every second weekend, I’d be out there attending seminars to extend my knowledge, network with like minded people and pick their brains. I was hungry for success. I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollar on finance /investment / personal development courses and books and CD’s. I went from being a receptionist at a small start-up to working in all areas of that business to eventually becoming a qualified financial consultant. Everyone I spoke to would have said that if they hadn’t met me in person, they would’ve thought I was in my mid 30’s. My customers ranged from first time home buyers to investors who have property portfolios so large that most people couldn’t fathom it. I was proud of my achievements but I knew that I still had a long way to go and I knew my goal was far beyond my reach at the time.
That motivation kept me waking up every morning. It was tiring but I felt good about where I was going and what I was achieving.
What happened? Some people call it bad luck. I call it bad planning, lack of experience and knowledge. I was literally stabbing in the dark to find my way and I made a lot of mistakes along the way. If I were to write a book about all my mistakes today, it would probably be an encyclopedia! In 2008 I went through an early mid-life crisis in the middle of the GFC. I walked away from a long term relationship that had become aggressive. It had taken me 6 years to realise that we were never meant for each other. Our personalities clashed and little did I realise at the time that all the personal development courses I had done over the years had matured my mindset far beyond his, and we were moving further and further apart. I stayed in the relationship out of fear of what people would think of me and the fear that I wouldn’t be able to find anyone better if I left. I still remember clearly the day when I had the light bulb moment, when a small argument turned verbally abusive. It was a turning point that gave me the strength to move forward with my life. The impact of the GFC, the pressures of the business and my personal life finally hit me. Right after my separation, I went through an identity crisis and my mind slipped into a very dark place. I felt like all my goals, dreams and plans had shattered into little pieces and I didn’t know how to piece them back together. Due to this, I left the business I cofounded and moved back home. That wasn’t the end of it, not only did I have to deal with the problems at the time and my emotional rollercoaster ride, I had to put up with my family’s criticism and the added pressure of being an unmarried,
almost 30 year old Chinese woman. I was exhausted mentally and physically. At times when the pressure eased up a bit and I felt like I was on top of my emotions and ready to tackle my challenges again, the slightest increase in difficulties or disappointments would trigger anxiety and physical memories of how terrible and painful things were sending me right down to my pit again. This rollercoaster ride of emotions is often what keeps many at one place, unable to recover or move forward.
How did you get through this? Growing up as a gymnast from the age of 3, and training as a tennis player since the age of 10 has helped me develop a never give up attitude. I refused to take any medication because I never believed in it, deep down I knew there had to be a way to crawl out of this hole and I will find it regardless of how difficult it may be. Four years later, the help of friends, family, every expert / healer I met along the way, and my own resilience has helped me to recover and rebuild my life. At the time, I had literally no-one to talk to and you could only get help from counsellors or psychologists and I didn’t believe that was the solution I needed. I knew there had to be another way, I’d tell myself repeatedly that there are others that are much worse off than me, and that I should be grateful to be alive because I’m in a better position than most people in the world. I also knew there had to be others who are going through the same thing as I did, so I started searching, meeting one person at the time. I started reaching out to kindred souls, hearing their stories and sharing mine. I read inspirational books, listened to CD’s, talked to family and friends, I took up Latin dancing as a hobby and bit by bit, I rebuilt my self-esteem and my life. I have to dedicate a lot of my success to my brother who was there for me the
INTERVIEW WITH THE FOUNDERS to my brother who was there for me the whole time. He cared deeply for me and acted as my communicator to my parents. He listened without judgement and communicated my thoughts and feelings to my family which helped us understand each other.
The universe has proven to me time
What motivated you to get through your crisis?
and time again that
My family was my biggest inspiration, I don’t want to put them through this again, and I will do whatever I can to be better, stronger and wiser each day.
What is the best piece of advice you’ve been given by another person? My uncle (mum’s younger brother), he was a very successful businessman in China and we share similar mindsets, so I always enjoy talking to him. He came to Australia to visit us from China several years back and after hearing a bit about what happened to me from mum, he said, in front of everyone, (in Chinese): ‘If Iris has succeeded before, she can do it again!” That comment has stayed with me, and whenever I doubt my ability to deliver, I will always affirm myself with my uncle’s comment.
What is life like now? It’s great! I am ten times happier, wiser, stronger and better than I was before all this happened. I am more independent and focused, I know what I want and where I want to go, I have found my purpose and I feel more alive than I was before. I now see what happened to me as a blessing in disguise that has helped me to look at life with a completely different mindset.
What are you most proud of in your life so far? Climbing out of my pit and turning my life around. Through this, I have now found my way to true success, that I never would have found if I hadn’t gone through what I did. And obviously, this magazine. It’s my life’s work now and I am so excited to finally have it accomplished, even though it was way later than we anticipated and we endured more hurdles than we thought we would initially. Last but not least, meeting my amazing
we know more than we think.
partner who has been so supportive of my dreams and brings out the best in me.
If you had the chance to go back in time and give advice to your younger self, what would it be? Trust yourself! We doubt ourselves too much. When things don’t feel right, things don’t feel right. Don’t try to justify or over analyse things just to convince yourself otherwise. The universe has proven to me time and time again that we know more than we think. No one has the instruction manual for life, we are the ones responsible for writing our own manual and if we put our minds to the task, there will always be a way.
Tips for others who are going through similar situations
1
Assess where you are at – when we take the time to assess, we see things clearer. We establish an understanding of our current position, what we are doing right, wrong, and what is wasting our time, costing us financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
2
Search deep and find your why – before you do anything, find your why. Is this why strong enough or does it overwhelms you? Understand why it is that you want to do what you want to do.
3
Plan ahead – if you don’t know where you’re going, you’re going nowhere! It’s as simple as that, planning ahead is a crucial part to overcoming any challenge. You don’t need a 10 year plan, something as simple as 3 months is good enough. Then you can review, assess and plan again later.
4
Go with the flow – the Chinese always talk about going with the flow. We’ve all heard the saying, ‘follow the tide.’ By working with the forces of nature, we minimise our efforts, leverage the momentum to increase efficiency and maximise the results. There is a time and a place for everything.
5
Things could’ve been worse – when you look at your current position with this mindset, you will shift your thinking and focus more on the positives than the negatives. There may be people in much worse situations than you and if they have found a way to pick themselves up and move forward, you can too.
6
Last but not least, give a helping hand to others – when we share an act of kindness with another, we are actually showing the other person, and ourselves, the light. At the same time, this helps us to meet like-minded people, gets us to interact with others and know that we are not fighting alone. When we help someone solve their problems, or even lend an ear to listen, we are training our brains to find ways to solve our problems.
Why should people read any self help materials like the I Create Positivity Magazine? I think self help books, magazines and related materials are one of the best inventions of mankind. Our ability to have complex communications through various methods is something that sets us apart from other species on Earth. When I feel lost, confused or down, these resources pick me up and put my mind in a better place. They act as my mentor in my darkest hours, and I think that these materials should not only exist in book stores, or places where only a handful of people know about them, but also in schools and a part of daily life.
GALANOULIS
The only hurdle in life is
our own self. Overcome yourself and you can conquer anything.
INTERVIEW WITH THE FOUNDERS
EVERY DAY IS LIVED IN AMAZEMENT AND ANTICIPATION OF THE INFINITE POSSIBILITIES BEFORE ME, AND KNOWING THAT I HAVE THOSE MANY CHOICES.
Petros lived an ordinary life, like everyone out there working hard to make a dollar, chasing the dream and to keep the wheels turning. Born from Greek immigrant parents, growing up as the first child of the family was tough. Struggled not only with culture differences within family and the environmental influence, his relationship with his parents wasn’t rosy either. What he didn’t expect was the sequence of events later in his life that led him to a path that became his worst nightmare and at the same time, a blessing in disguise.
What was life like before this nightmare appeared? Life was ordinary, and every day was a day of battle just to get up go to work and pay the bills. It was a life full of promise that often felt like a cruel tease. It seems growing up with migrant parents, who despite coming here for a better opportunity also shackled themselves with a ‘life is difficult, money is scarce’ mentality, and that rubbed off on me. I would live out the same anger and
frustration as my parents: An ordinary life, chasing a dream and a dollar. I was healthy, and for a while was with who I thought would be a life partner. I may not have had much, but amongst it all, I was ok.
What were the challenges you faced? I was very much living out of spite towards my folks. Our relationship growing up wasn’t the warmest or connected one, and I never really felt any acknowledgment from them. I’d left home as an act of ‘screw you.’ I had an anger and a chip in me that was growing, only I wasn’t really seeing it. In 2005, my university sweetheart of 7 years called it quits and walked out, and this felt like someone had gutted me, and that life as I knew it was over. I had no clue what happened, why it happened, or what I was going to do. But this would erupt in me a monster, as I became very angry and frustrated and then defiant. Defiant, in that I was not going to let anything beat me, at least so I thought. For a year and a half, I would run from my problems as if nothing was
wrong. I finally fell in love again with a magical woman, whom within a year and a half of dating would eventually help me to crash, a much needed one at that. This metaphoric crash meant I had to let her go, as we weren’t going to be forever, but it also meant that I was now a completely destroyed wreck, and no one was coming to save me. My weight ballooned, and I would soon fall in to a deep depression. I wanted to end it all, but was not brave enough to do it. So I got myself on medication, as you can always rely on that to raise you above it all. However, I started experiencing some difficulties with my liver, difficulties that medication wasn’t fixing, and my weight kept ballooning. I kept fighting the world, and I became darker, and darker. I had become desperate, and wasn’t sure what I was capable of, when one night I was awakened by someone in my room, someone that stood over me and slapped me so hard in the face that I still can feel it like it was yesterday, and this person clearly said, ‘Get rid of the drugs, and get up for yourself!’, and then simply disappeared. I got up and ran to my door to see if anyone was coming to help or
find and earn it on my own. I became qualified as a coach with both a certificate and a diploma, and studied Vedanta, an Ancient Indian spiritual philosophy which I feel saved me, and used that to build not only mine, but others’ lives as well. My inspiration comes from people like Dr Wayne Dyer, Anthony Robbins, The Ancient Indian Mystics, Christ, and so many more.
What was the best lesson you’ve learnt from this? The only hurdle in life is our own self. Overcome yourself, and you can conquer anything.
How is life like now? Better than ever. Every day is lived in amazement and anticipation of the infinite possibilities before me, and knowing that I have those many choices.
What are you most proud of in your life so far? Myself, and my decision to stay alive and work it out.
If you had the chance to go back in time and give advice to your younger self, what would it be? Again, the only hurdle in life is our own self. Overcome yourself, and you can conquer anything.
look in on me, as I was living at my parents’ house at this point. Nothing, no one. I turned on my lights and again, there was no sign of anyone being in my room. But I knew there was, I had a slap to prove it. Safe to say, whether you believe there was someone there or not, and I did investigate that, it didn’t matter, because it was the wakeup call I needed.
How did you get through it? Well for me it’s more a break away. I was fed up, I had fallen in to a very deep depression, my liver was becoming dysfunctional, I had strong suicidal thoughts and battled with that for some time, but didn’t have the balls to go through with it which left me in an even darker place, and I couldn’t live, and I couldn’t die. My liver started playing up and was not responding to medical attention, nor my eventual switch to a healthier lifestyle; it truly felt like life hated me. But that was ok, because I hated it back. Finally, after my mysterious overnight visitor, I figured ‘well, if I am not going to end it then, I may as well find a way to ease the pain,’ so I started reading. I was reading 5 books at a time, all of a
spiritual or personal development nature, and I was lapping it all up. I fell in love with what makes ourselves and our spirit tick. There was a natural instinctive ‘knowing’ that overlayed the hunger to know more. The deeper I went, the less life hurt. Bizarrely enough I had people coming to me randomly asking for life advice, and it was like a joke as I was very much lost when they did come to me, so to get rid of them and be left alone I just would say the first thought that came to me and leave it at that, certain it was done. But it wasn’t done, these same people would come back and thank me for the advice, as it helped them greatly. I was bowled over: It made no sense. But, it added to the intrigue of it all, and through it I found my love of I had a purpose worth exploring finally, and things started to feel better, and even my liver was clearing up.
What was the inspiration that got you through it? My motivation was that I wasn’t going to let life defeat me, that there was more and I deserved it. But for it to be real, I had to
What are your 5 tips to breakthrough?
1 2 3 4
Be resilient, even when you feel you can’t anymore. Give yourself a desired alternative to gravitate toward and focus on. Build knowledge, and execute that which makes most sense to you.
Faith is very real: Keep as much as possible, there will be times where that’s all you’ll have and need.
5
Find a mentor and positive, successful people to hang with, and ignore/ remove the naysayers.
Why should people read any personal development materials like the “I Create Positivity E-Magazine”? When I was at that tipping point of live or die, what got me through was written wisdom. Reading/learning, at the very least in the beginning, was a comfortable distraction from the pain I was experiencing. In time, however, I found the many answers I was seeking, and some even found me. Reading material like ICP magazine is a great way to expand your mind, and make practical, real positive changes to your life.
THE MISSING LINKS TO HAPPINESS
80% of people surveyed in a Deloitte Australia 2012 survey weren’t happy with what they were doing, furthermore according to the A.B.S. (Australian Bureau of Statistics) 2013 statistics, incidence of depression and anxiety have risen by almost 40% since the beginning of 2011. We asked ourselves, has positivity grown at all? We explored for definitive stats on positivity however there did not appear to be any specifically, why is the scale so unbalanced? We have better technology and devices today, our world is getting more resourceful, there are better activities and events, more social interactions than ever before yet‌. We are the unhappiest we have ever been, burned out and not living up to our potential. Apart from the mental effects, depression and anxiety can lead to diseases like cancer, liver problems,
diabetes and more as they suppress serotonin and dopamine and boost cortisol levels, which can also cause impairments in thought and problem solving skills which just add to the negative cycle. There is also the cost on families when coping with life becomes too ordinary or outright difficult, hopeless and even dangerous through alcohol, drugs and violence. We figured it was time for a chat, a chat about positivity. A mind makeover can have dramatic effects. Through personal experiences and people we have dealt
with both professionally and socially, it was evident there is a hunger to break free practically and effectively and find a simpler way to keep happy. Through experience and research Iris and Petros have found that 2 fundamental elements were missing which prevented people from being their happiest or even maintaining happiness. Although many believe that their circumstances define their happiness, after some analysis and research we conclude that what really prevents their happiness are these 2 critical elements.
What are these two elements? Simplicity and Fun. Being positive and happy firstly should be simple, this means that we seek happiness not in things or from others or some combination of events or future event to fill the emptiness so many of us feel, but instead in simply being and not relying on anything other than our self. It means that happiness and positivity can then come from simple, daily acts such as cooking, and not feel out of reach but available at any time you choose it. Secondly to have happiness and positivity is to remember to have fun on a daily basis. Too often we become too serious in life and take things far too personally and this wears us down mentally and physically. Having fun reminds us that we are here to explore and grow and to recapture our child-like inquisitiveness and imagination, these are what make life interesting and amazing. The goal should be to shift the whole mind set of ‘positivity’ as an airy fairy, feel good ideology to it’s a necessary way of life and a health booster. No longer should positivity be in the realm of the self-help industry but in main stream society in a practical and relevant way to today’s hectic life. It should be part of our daily folklore, something we teach to our kids and ourselves. It’s not until this mind makeover is embedded and encouraged through simple, fun and practical activities that we will see a reduction in alcohol related crime and violence, a decrease in family instability, depression and anxiety and perhaps to; suicide. If indeed 80% of people aren’t happy, as the stats show then it’s possible that 80% of readers are seeking help and answers.
If indeed 80% of people aren’t happy, as the stats show then it’s possible that 80% of readers are seeking help and answers.
MIGRAINE TURNED INTO A RARE BRAIN DISEASE Most people at some point in their lives would have had a bad headache or a migraine, this usually goes away after taking a pain killer or two. It wasn’t the case for Nikki Galagher when her migraine turned into a rare brain disease. This however, did not stop her from making the most of her life. She is one of the most positive people you could have met. If you didn’t know her story, you wouldn’t even be able to guess the physical torment she had to endure – from a number of brain surgeries, regular check ups to keeping her life on track! Not only did Nikki managed to maintain a positive outlook in life, she was also able to create financial support allowing her to start her own business doing what she loves. What was life like before? Ever since I was a little girl I always wondered what I would be like when I grew up. Now that I’m grown up, I wonder what the rest of my life will be like. You see, we never know what tomorrow can bring; what adventure, what surprise, what mystery will unfold tomorrow. No one knows and that is what makes life so amazing. “Yesterday is history; tomorrow a mystery.” Today is a gift – that is why it is called “the Present.” Never in my wildest dreams growing up did I ever think that my whole world would be turned upside down at just 30 years old. I loved my life I had done heaps of travelling, lived in 3 different states and had a great job with an impressive income. I was travelling every 2nd – 3rd weekend to another city, state, or country, running events and seminars and hanging out with some of Australia’s and the world’s best personal development and wealth creation speakers. I was in love, I loved my job, my friends and family were my world and I had an awesome walk-in robe chocker’s full of clothes (I have a clothes fetish/addiction).Life looked perfect. It all came crashing down one weekend 6 years ago when the headaches I had been having for a few weeks started to get worse, and I woke up at 4 am with chronic pain
“Yesterday is history; tomorrow a mystery.” Today is a gift - that is why it is called “the Present.”
in my head and a neck so stiff that I could barely move. But I still somehow managed to drive myself to the local ER. I was very close to calling an ambulance, but I’m too frugal and too independent. ‘If I’m not dying, I’ll drive myself’, I thought. I don’t even remember the next few hours as they are all a blur, but I was in the ER for 8 hours doing test after test and after all that they sent me home with a box of pain killers and told to get bed rest. That was not going to happen, as I was flying from Sydney to Melbourne that night to attend a massive 4 day seminar with 350 people that I was working with. My headache only got worse though and I could not turn my neck at all. The next day at the event, while pushing through like the trooper, I lost my vision and my whole world went black like someone had put their hands over my eyes in a game of peek–a–boo. But this was not funny: In fact it was really scary, as my worst fear had always been losing my sight. I was taken straight down to Royal Melbourne Hospital, where after yet another 8 hours of tests in the ER and no answers, I was sent back to my hotel room with more painkillers and told I most likely pulled a muscle in my neck, though they could not confirm it. After I got back to Sydney, my mum took me to her trainee osteopath who was in his final year at uni and working at a uni clinic. After explaining all of my symptoms, he said with a massive smile on his face (obviously he still had not learnt his bedside manner in how to give patients bad news) “I think you have a really rare brain disease called Intracranial Hypertension.” While I was trying to process what he was saying, I was also trying to work out why he was so happy about it. I’m sorry, but being told that I have a rare brain disease does not sound like fun. He then went on to explain that they had only learnt about it last week and his lecturer had said it is so rare they will probably never treat a patient with it, let alone diagnose
one, and here I was just a week later, so I guess it was like winning the lotto for him…but not for me. He said “don’t go anywhere I am going to get my lecturer.” And I was like “buddy you just told me I have a rare brain disease – I’m not going anywhere!!” What seemed like an eternity, but in reality was about 10 mins (I guess they were doing some Google research to confirm symptoms), they both came back into explain that I now need to see a neurologist who will confirm it with a lumbar puncture. I remember getting a lumbar puncture when I was 8 years old and being held down by two nurses and a doctor, while the 4th took a sample of spinal fluid. I didn’t want another one of them. But, too bad for me, as that is the only way to diagnose it. My pressure came back 3 times higher than it was supposed to be and it was confirmed: I was diagnosed with a rare brain disease called Intracranial Hypertension, or IH for short. This is a condition that has no cause and no cure yet! My brain makes too much spinal fluid that puts pressure on my brain and causes daily headaches that often turn into migraines, blurry vision, dizzy spells and a whole list of other symptoms. Having a headache 24/7 at times is unbearable. Imagine waking up with the worst hangover you’ve ever had, knowing that you are going to feel like this all day, all week, all month, all year and for many years to come, until they find a cure. What were the challenges? Before I had brain surgery, they had a VP shunt inserted in my brain to drain off the excesses spinal fluid from my brain. The only relief I got from the feeling that my head was being squished in a vice was having regular lumbar punctures, which means a 15cm needle is inserted into my spine to drain out the excess spinal fluid. The only problem with this is that it is extremely painful and if they take out too much fluid, I would suffer from a low-pressure headache (which is just as bad, if not worse, than having a high-pressure head-
ache). A low-pressure headache feels like your brain has been sucked dry of all the fluids and it feels like it is caving in (instead of feeling like it’s going to explode, as it does when I have a high-pressure headache).
Since September 2008 I have had six brain surgeries, over 29 lumbar punctures, seven MRI scans, over 80 CT scans, over 70 X-Rays, a cranial angiogram (that really hurt)and two spinal leaks from the lumbar puncture hole not closing properly. These are not fun either.
I’ve had hundreds of blood tests: You name it, they tested me for it. So I guess you could say I’ve been through the ringer. But everyday, no matter how bad I feel or how much pain I’m in, I wake up smiling and think of at least 5 things I’m grateful for.
How did you make it through? I want to thank Karen Druker for her beautiful soulful music of healing, love, gratitude and self-love. Your music was my meditation to help me through many dark days, so thank you from my soul xxx. I highly encourage everyone going through any kind of health challenge, or if you have a family member who is sick, to buy and download her albums or listen to them on YouTube. I have 4 of her albums on my phone that get put on shuffle when I’m having a rough day, she is my meditation and has been with me through every surgery and recovery. I use her music of love, healing and gratitude to drown out the noises in the hospital and keep me in a state of bliss and healing. We even played her in the room while my friend Mel was having her baby, to help keep her calm and in control of her contractions and even all the midwives and doctors commented on how beautiful it was. I can’t recommend her highly enough, her music has kept me sane and grateful through the past 6 years and I would never be able to express the right words to tell her how grateful I am of her and her music. Also, knowing that I was not alone was a massive comfort. Though I did not know anyone personally with IH, I had connected with a massive family of IH patients all around the world via Facebook and having the IH support groups and being able to vent or ask questions to people who knew exactly what I was going through was a real blessing. What was your inspiration? When I was first Diagnosed there were not many videos about IH on YouTube; I would say there was less than 10 from patients. There was a few boring medical ones, but they didn’t really explain it in a way that I could understand, let alone share that with family and friends as a way to explain what I had. So I knew that it was up to
me to make a new awareness video, explaining what IH is, what it does to my brain and the treatments I’ve had to try to help me. Within weeks of posting my video, a few more videos appeared, then there was hundreds and now 6 years later there are thousands. I have had over 120,000 views on my YouTube channel and I have received hundreds of messages of support and people thanking me for being their inspiration. When I know that there are so many people
inspired by my life, that only inspires me to do more and spread the message of awareness more and once my book is finished there will be even more inspiration to go around.
Nikki
Jamie
Best advice or lesson learnt? I want to thank my ex-boss, friend and mentor, Jamie McIntyre. He is the one who started me on this journey of creating a life full of abundance and gratitude. Thank you for giving me the flexibility to work from home in my own hours to accommodate my health needs. Thank you for being the mentor that showed me there was a gift in everything, even if at times I couldn’t see the gift. Thank you for helping me see that I was given this crappy condition as a gift, so that I can be the voice for the thousands around the world who suffer and struggle everyday just to get out of bed. My Gift is my passion, courage and determination to not let this beat me. Thank you for making me realise that the power of words can change my physiology in a heartbeat and for showing me that I’m an amazing woman that can do anything I put my mind to. And thank you for still accepting me as part of the 21st Century Education family, even now after I’ve been gone for over 3 years. How is life now? Today I take everyday as it comes. I never know if I’m going to wake up with a splitting headache or migraine and not wanting to get out of bed, or if today is going to be a great day because I will only have to function with a mild headache. I only work casually, as full time is too stressful for my brain and I need to be able to have that flexibility where I can work around my head. I’m grateful for everyday and I don’t take anything for granted. I’m also grateful the things I don’t have, as there are so many other chronic, or even terminal conditions I could have gotten and I feel very blessed that IH is ALL I have. Life could have dealt me a different set of cards, so I’m grateful for all things I have, but also for all the things I don’t have. What are you most proud of? I sometimes look back on the last 6 years, and I’m totally amazed and proud of myself for what I have been through. If it was not for all my years working in the personal develop-
ment industry, I know my journey would have been a very different one. It would have been full of selfpity and “why me?” I’m not telling this to get sympathy and to make you to think, “poor Nikki! That’s so terrible”. I’m sharing this with you so that I can share with you my strength, my courage, my passion and my gratitude. I could sit in the corner and cry “Poor me!” “Why did this have to happen to me?” “Life just isn’t fair.” But that wouldn’t get me anywhere. The crying and the stress only make my headaches worse. I tell you this so that you will get off your ass and stop your whining about the little things in your life that seem so insignificant when you see the things that I have seen. I am here to motivate and inspire you to live your most amazing life possible. I am here to be your wake-up call to be grateful for everything in your life. To be both grateful for everything you DO have in your life, and also grateful for all the things that you DO NOT have in your life. Yes this is a really crappy condition and I would prefer not to have it. When I was diagnosed with it, to tell you I was pissed off would be an understatement. But I have found my Gift. I have been given Intracranial Hypertension so that I can use my voice to raise awareness to help find a cure, or help someone with my symptoms get answers and diagnosis. You see, those with Intracranial Hypertension suffer in silence. It is what we call a “silent disease.” From the outside, some days we look perfectly healthy. We put on a brave face, we work, we play sports (when we are feeling ok), we live our lives and we look after families, just like everybody else. Except, we suffer in chronic pain on a daily basis and we push through the pain like others could not even begin to imagine. Some days are better than others and we can hide our pain really well.
Other days, it’s very easy to see how much pain we are in: Our eyes squint from any bright lights, they are glassy and hazed over from the pain killers and we have brain fog from too much pressure and trying to balance it by taking enough pain meds to reduce the pain, but not too much that we can’t function. I’m proud to say I’m a survivor. I will have IH for the rest of my life unless a cure is found and I refuse to let it take over my life. No, I’m going to live the most amazing life I possibly can – headache and all. I’m proud that I have not let the pain control me as there were many times it was so intense that it would have been really easy to end my pain with a few too many pills. But I have too many people in the IH community who look up to me and I know I have to stay strong for them, and I could not even begin to imagine the pain that I would have put my family through, I could not bear to let my dad lose a 2nd child to suicide. We have lost too many IH brothers and sisters because they could either not handle the pain any longer, or they accidentally took to many pills just trying to numb the pain. Step back in time – any advice to your younger self? I have often thought if only we could go back in time and give our younger self a massive big hug and tell them that everything is going to be ok. I’d say, “you are amazing, smart, talented and funny. Not everyone will love you and that is ok, but it is their loss because if they choose not to get to know you, they are missing out on knowing one of the sweetest, most caring, genuine, stylish and beautiful women they may ever meet.” I would also tell myself that the number on the scale does not represent my value to society, or to a relationship. I am worthy of love no matter what size I am. I would tell myself that ‘you don’t need to sleep with men to feel adored and to receive attention. Even though it’s fun at the time, you are worth more than a drunken one night stand or being someone’s booty call.’ I would tell
her to be smarter with money, to save for a rainy day (you never know when you are going to get sick and need 6 brain surgeries). I would tell her not to smoke and save that money instead (or buy more shoes, LOL). I would tell her to say YES to more things as you never know what new adventure is waiting for you. I would tell her to always stay true to herself, to listen to her gut as her intuition is always right, to always think of others and treat them how you would like to be treated and, if you don’t have something nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all. 5 tips for others going through a similar situation 1. Listen to your body, you know it better than anyone. If something is not right speak up. 2. Listen to Karen Drucker music, it’s great for everyone, not just sick people. 3. Seek out support groups with others who are going through what you are going through. No matter how much your family and friends try to understand, unless they live a day in your shoes they can only sympathise and empathise with you to a degree, but won’t fully be able to understand if they don’t live with it themselves. Support groups are awesome
because sometimes you just need to vent to someone you don’t know. 4. Get a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th opinion if you are not comfortable with your doctors advice and the advice or care they are giving you. It’s your body and you have every right to make sure you are receiving the best medical advice possible. Do your own research as well, don’t just take the word of the doctor as gospel. Many times they learnt about your condition 5, 10 or even 15 years ago in medical school, and do not know about the latest research, treatments, or trials, so be your own advocate. I have educated many of my doctors over the years on different things, including the latest studies and research that’s going on around the world (which isn’t that much, but it was more than they knew). 5. Be kind to yourself, take a nanna nap if you’re tired, drink lots of water, eat lots of greens, have a really comfy bed (you spend 1/3 of your life in your bed, so make sure it is heavenly), and most important: Love yourself, because you are AWESOME! Why should people read self-help materials such as a I Create Positivity E-Magazine? I would really hate to know how different my journey would have been if I had not done so many years of personal development on myself. I don’t know if I would even still be here.
Live with Love, Gratitude, Passion & Purpose
I truly believe that personal development & gratitude saved my life. I’m not telling you my story of surgeries and pain to get sympathy and to make you think, “poor Nikki.” I’m sharing this with you so that I can share with you my strength, my courage, my passion and my gratitude. I could sit in the corner and cry “Poor me! Why did this have to happen to me? Life just isn’t fair,” but that wouldn’t get me anywhere. The crying and the stress only make my headaches worse. I tell you this so that you will get off your ass and stop your whining about the little things in your life that seem so insignificant when you see the things I have seen. I am here to motivate and inspire you to live your most amazing life possible. I am here to be your wake-up call to be grateful for everything in your life. To be grateful for everything you DO have in your life, but also so that you are grateful for all the things that you DO NOT have in your life. So learn from others mistakes, triumphs, heartaches, success, blood, sweat and tears, and use the stories and the lessons to live an inspired life. Turn off the TV, listen to podcasts, read books and magazines with a purpose (not trashy novels or celebrity gossip) and fill your brain with content and knowledge that inspires you to live a great life and not take a single moment for granted, as you never know when life is going to throw a curve ball at you.
Nikki and her family
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else, is the greatest accomplishment.�
~Emerson
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gor-
geous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.� ~Marianne Williamson
DRUGS, ALCOHOL & 5 SERIOUS SUICIDE ATTEMPTS. NOW THE FOUNDER OF A HEALTH RETREAT IN SPAIN! Gareth Stubbs had a rather turbulent childhood, not different to one that many abuse
victims live through, and as a result, he found himself immersed in a “non-coping world” with habits that did not lead towards a healthy life. Drugs, alcohol and self-harming were how Gareth lived his life as they helped him get through the tough times. As a result, most of his life to date was lived in pain and masked as well as it could be. Severe depression and mental health challenges led him to believe that life was not worth living. Eventually this pain pushed him to make an extreme decision, and that is to end his life. Now Gareth is fulfilling his self-promise to share his inspiring story with the world and help those alike realise that there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. “For as long as I am able to recall, I have always wanted to help people. I didn’t know how but what I did know was that I wanted to create a place where people felt safe, where people could come to just to be with (and find) themselves.”-Gareth Tell us about your childhood. For as long as I can remember, I struggled with depression - it was something that became a part of my normal, every day life that (looking back now) was probably started off by abuse that I went through. For many years, I lived in constant fear - I did not know what would happen from day to day, whether I would see the “horrible” people who hurt me, or whether it would be a good day. My father left at a very young age so growing up, I did not have much reference to what a Dad was like, except that they were angry and unhappy all the time and you had to be very quiet and weren’t allowed to make noise. So for me, that was normal so when my abuse started, I was told that “this was what all Dad’s do with their children so don’t worry about it.” When I was unhappy with it, I was also threatened quite harshly that my Mom and Sister would be hurt badly if I said anything - so I carried it round with me. It was this constant, internal pain that led me to start self harming and taking drugs, so from the age of 12, I learned to make myself numb. And that was my re-collection of young life.
How did you overcome all that built up of negativity? For many years, I buried everything deep down inside of me - I would not allow myself to express what I was feeling because when I did, I couldn’t control it. Years of drugs and alcohol and self harming took their toll, and I decided that the only way out of this was through suicide. Over a period of 18 months, I spent about 10 of them in and out of hospital and my last suicide attempt left me in a coma, on life support with my family not knowing if I would make it or not. Waking up was one of the worst (and looking back now) best things that has ever happened to me. I decided there and then that I would find a way to deal with things and, internally, I made a promise that if I was to turn 40 and still be alive, happy and healthy, I would share my story with more and more people. That was in 2002 - I was 20 years old. My health suffered and by the age of 30, I had had 2 heart attacks, ruptured ulcers, severe kidney problems and the advice from the medical world that I would never live without medication. I began to read, I began to study and I began to reach out to people from all walks of life, working hard to find out what made me do the things I did and instead of listening to the reasons, I started finding ways to work through them. I wrote daily, I changed my entire approach to life and I began to notice results and changes which spurred me on to do more. It is a continual and never ending process and one that I continue to enjoy and reap the rewards. There were tough times where it felt like I was getting nowhere but it was those moments when I focused on my decision to change rather than my reasons and excuses for staying the same.
I turned 40 last year and here is a big step towards fulfilling that promise. I read books. I wrote. I found my own sources of inspiration and belief. I spoke to people from all walks of life about how they viewed life. I learnt to cry and feel instead of numbing myself. I guess you could say I basically taught myself how to live again, starting from the beginning. Who or what inspired you to push through challenging times? I have 2 children and they have been my biggest source of inspiration and motivation through all of this. Even though I “lost” everything as a result of the mistakes I have made in my life and the decisions I took, they have been my driving force. What was the best piece of advice you’ve been given by another person or the best lesson you’ve learnt? Hmmmm….. This is a tough one because there have been so many things but if I had to choose one that I use each and every day, then it would be this: “Be thankful for everything, even the pain that you have in your life because they key (and secret) to your future is buried in the patterns of the past - be thankful for the past and all the blessings that come with it and you will find the key to your true freedom.” How is life like now? It may sound somewhat cliche, but having made a pact to not live past 30, I find every day a blessing and a bonus. My life is better than I could ever have imagined - that does not mean I am super happy all of the time. I still have shit that happens, I still have days when I cannot control my bipolar or schizo affective disorder, I still have suicidal feelings, I still
have challenges and frustrations but I can feel them and I can experience them rather than numbing them out. What are you most proud of in your life so far? One thing?!?! Opening our Health Retreat in Spain earlier this year. After almost 15 years, I finally found the courage to step up and follow my dream. It took me that long to believe in myself and that I could do something that other “crazy” people had done, so opening a Health Retreat in Spain was an amazing turning point and one I still can’t quite believe. If you had the chance to go back in time and give advice to your younger self, what would it be? I wouldn’t say anything, I would just go back there and sit down and listen, that is all. I would hold that young persons hand and walk next to them. So often, that is all we truly need in life - someone to listen to us and hold our hand because when they truly do that, we know everything will be OK. Gareth please share with us your top 5 lessons. 1. If you have a dream, never stop working towards it. You’re not crazy and you’re not weird. Dreams do come true but you have to take continual action towards them. Do one SMALL thing each and every day that takes you a step closer to them even if the step closer means you might have to travel in a different direction. Also realise that, over time, your dreams may change and they don’t always happen exactly as you plan them - put the dream out there, let go of the attachment to the outcome, and just
work slowly towards it. 2. Dont do it alone - too many people try and do everything alone. Find someone to work with. Find someone you resonate with. Find people with a similar dream and work together with them. Put aside your personality and focus on the bigger dream together. 3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help EVER. Asking for help gives other people the chance to share their skills and passion. You don’t have to know everything - you just have to know what you know. 4. Find your WHY - as many people say, when you find your why, you do your how. Your WHY helps you overcome the doubters, helps you stand up and ask for help, helps you keep going when you don’t feel like you can keep going. 5. LIVE your life, don’t let you life live you. This is your ONE chance to get things done. Life is short and not as difficult as it sometimes appears. We may have challenging times but they are there for a reason. Make the most of every opportunity that comes your way because you know your WHY and you have your own personal dream. Value your body and your mind and your soul for the amazing creation that it is don’t take it for granted. BONUS ONE - Have FUN. If you are not enjoying what you do, DON’T do it. Enjoy the process because it is far more enjoyable than the end result. Opening the Retreat was a dream come true, but the journey to get there was better than any experience I have ever had and the continual journey brings new and amazing things every single day that I never ever could have imagined all those years ago.
GARETH STUBBS Gareth Stubbs is now the founder of Inside Out Retreat in Spain. You can connect with Gareth via his website www.insideoutretreat.com or facebook www.facebook.com/insideoutspain.
EXPERT ADVICE ON DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ADDICTION Lately I’ve found myself increasingly using alcohol to get through the day. It’s starting to affect my work and relationships to the point where I think I may have an addiction problem. How do I stop?
that many people struggle with, be it with alcohol, drugs, or both. This article will focus on the former, but as a general rule, most of what is outlined below can also be applied to drug addiction.
In today’s modern world, the pressures and demands society places on us as well as those we place on ourselves, continues to rise. As this stress increases, so does our need for escape; either physically, emotionally, or mentally. Because of these stresses, a common source of escape and relaxation for many people is alcohol.
How To Tell If You Or Someone You Care About Has Become Dependent On Alcohol There are certain diagnostic criteria that can determine this.
Alcohol is considered a socially acceptable way for us to unwind with friends and family. But what happens when this form of escapism becomes detrimental to our health, relationships, and career? Addiction is a very real problem
Alcohol dependence involves a pattern of drinking that leads to significant distress, when at least three of the following criteria are met within a 12 month period: • A need for an increased amount of alcohol to reach intoxication (tolerance). • Withdrawal symptoms when not drinking, or drinking to avoid withdrawal symptoms (dependence).
• Drinking in increasingly larger amounts, or over a longer period than intended, i.e. going out for one drink with friends, but staying out all night drinking. • Unsuccessful attempts at cutting back or quitting alcohol consumption. • Loss of interest in socialising, work, or leisure activities because of drinking. • An increase in the time spent recovering from the effects of excessive drinking. • Continued drinking, despite knowing the negative impact it is having. Often the need for alcohol overrides all judgment. People find themselves justifying their behaviour, or even denying that there is a problem in the first place. Their behaviour over time
may become uncharacteristic; they may start drinking alone or lying about their alcohol consumption. There can be brief moments of shame and guilt that usually accompany substance abuse, however these feelings are often short-lived as the vicious cycle of craving relief from withdrawal results in further drinking. Things To Keep In Mind When Dealing With Addiction • In the beginning, drinking is normalised as short-term stress relief. It works, and this reinforces the belief that it’s acceptable. • The temporary positive feelings mean we are not finding alternative, healthier means of dealing with stress. • Alcohol is a mind altering and physically powerful substance that creates a chemical change within us. Not only does dependency develop, but also tolerance, which means we need more of it more often in order to obtain the desired effect. • Withdrawal is a major deterrent in stopping drinking. Seeking Help, The Wheel Of Change, And Beating Addiction It’s important to be mindful that overcoming addiction is an almighty battle. Setbacks and re-
lapses are normal, and the desire for change must come from within. You cannot make someone give up something they just don’t want to give up. BUT WITH DETERMINATION, COURAGE, AND THE WILL TO CHANGE, IT IS ABSOLUTELY BEATABLE!! The cycle that every addict on the way to sobriety goes through is known as “The Wheel Of Change,” and it helps explain what happens emotionally and cognitively on this journey. 1. Pre-contemplative stage: The addict is in denial that there is even a problem. 2. Contemplative Stage: Addict acknowledges that there IS a problem, but justifies it and says they can’t stop. 3. Preparation Stage: This stage marks an acknowledgement that there is a problem, and the addict is seeking support from family, friends or a health professional. 4. Action Stage: Addict implements change and makes a commitment to the plan set forth in the preparation stage. 5. Maintenance Stage: Addict maintains sobriety and may attend meetings or see a counsellor. This also rep-
resents trying things that work and don’t work, so there may be ongoing reassessment of preparation and action within this stage. 6. Relapse: Addict has a set back and falls back to substance abuse again. It is important to recognise that setbacks are normal, because if there is a true addiction it may take many attempts to quit and repeat the cycle before the person can conquer addiction. Recognising where you are on The Wheel Of Change is the first step towards being out of the woods and onto the road to recovery. Remember also that for most people the addiction represents something of a ‘crutch’, so addressing the underlying issues that may be causing that (e.g. low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, stressful environments, poor work/ life balance) may be just as important as actually making the decision to give up! If you or someone you know may be struggling from an addiction, there are plenty of resources in the community to reach out to, including: Alcoholics Anonymous http://www.aa.org.au/ Reach Out http://au.reachout.com
DR AILEEN ALEGADO Dr Aileen Alegado is a Clinical Psychologist and director of Mindset Consulting which is a boutique psychology private practice based in Melbourne. Aileen is a therapist with extensive experience working with individuals, couples, groups and has been involved in raising positive mental health awareness in the media. Aileen believes in everyone’s capacity to reach their best self. She is passionate about psychology, health/ wellbeing, yoga and travel. You can visit her website: www.draileenalegado.com
HOW THIS BRAVE SOUL SURVIVED AND THRIVED FROM A HORRIFIC CHILDHOOD INTERVIEW WITH BARBARA Unlike most young girls who grew up in a safe and secure environment, Barbara Archer’s childhood was horrific and damaging. A cheating, alcoholic father and a mother who felt helpless to the situation lead Barbara to turn into a rebellious teenager associating herself with people most parents would tell their kids to stay away. Her childhood memory was so deeply rooted that unconsciously caused her to inflict self-sabotaging behaviours throughout her life. Eventually, she turned into a person that society would judge and cast away. When you dig deep into people like Barbara, their stories and histories, you will begin to understand what lead them to be whom they were and the actions they took. Despite all that damage, Barbara turned her life around. She has written a book, runs a couple of online radios courageously sharing her story around the globe. She is also a motivational speaker and a spiritual life coach helping women find their purpose and set themselves free from their struggles. Barbara’s story helped us understand the fault in our society, how crucial positive education and support is and the difference it can make to a lot of people’s lives. We have advanced technologies, fancy houses, cars and luxury items, yet many families in the most developed countries are still lacking in the simplest and most needed things like contentment and happiness. Tell us about what happened growing up. As a child growing up, life was challenging. My father was an alcoholic, and my mother was a Christian .My father was abusive towards my mother, and had many affairs behind her back. I do believe that at some point my mother knew, but did not care. My
father introduced me to a life of infidelity, revealed to me the dark secret of how he molested my sister. Finally, my mother left my father in 1979, and we thought life would be good, but it soon grew even darker. At the age of 14 I was raped, and life was never the same. My mother never pressed charges, as I guess she thought her love would get me through, but it did not, and I became angry from within and swore that no man would ever hurt me, so in essence I became rigid and cold, just like men. I was so worried I was pregnant; what he stole from me I could never get back! Then one day, I had to jump out of a window to escape the hands of the man who raped me, and I ran all the way home. You see, the man who took my innocence was my boyfriend. I was still a virgin, and had never been with any one. I trusted him, as he had always been so kind and gentle with me. For weeks after, I would ponder over how long he’d planned this in his mind. I felt so stupid; I thought he loved me, but he never did. What were the challenges you faced? At the early stages, I never thought I had any challenges. But looking back, I realized that I encountered many I began to act out in school, and the situation was to the point where I simply did not care what happened to me, so I quit high school and started to work. I was going to the clubs, drinking, smoking, and taking advantage of men. It was not long after that I realized it was I who became the abuser. Life is funny like that: What was done to me, I was now doing to others. But, it helped me to numb the pain that I carried around so long. By this time I was nineteen years old, and I had met a wonderful man that was in the military. Six months later we were married, and on the night of our honeymoon I was too afraid to make love to my husband, because all I could see was the man that raped me, and how I felt with him on top of me and all the pain
I endured. Our marriage suffered for a while because we had intimacy issues, but through counselling we were starting to see a breakthrough, and a few months later I became pregnant. But I was not ready to become a mother, so I told my husband I wanted an abortion. He was hurt by my decision, so when on the day of the abortion we found out I was carrying twins, he thought that I would change my decision. But I did not. After the abortion, I started to have many affairs, and it was as though whenever something traumatic in my life happened, I would act out. My life spiralled out of control, yet again. I began to hang out with the wrong people, and we began to hotwire cars, steal from people, and break into their homes, til one day I ended up in Prison for all my crimes that I committed, still broken, and wanting to cover up what I was really feeling. My son was born in jail, and I thought, ‘after this, I am going to get my life right,” but it did not last, I was soon back to my old habits. My daughter was born to a married man, a product of always wanting what was not available to me. A few more years had passed, and I found myself pregnant with my third child, which I abandoned. I knew I had hit rock bottom when I could walk away and not even
“Life is funny like that: What was done to me, I was now doing to others.” know what I had, and frankly speaking, did not care. It was as though I was attracted to men that would either abuse me sexually, mentally, or physically. You see, my second husband was abusive, and by the time 2006 rolled around I had met my third husband. He was very good to me, but he was in a wheelchair, and I felt safe that he would not harm me. But 5 years later we divorced, and the dysfunction returned. All together I had three failed marriages. I struggled with relationships for all of my 32 years, never feeling normal. What did you do to get by each day? I got through the pain by becoming numb and not allowing myself to feel. If I could pretend that my situation did not exist, then I did not have to deal with it. It was indeed a way for me to escape life, and for years I was good at it. But one day, what use to work no longer worked. Drinking became an escape for me, along with inflicting pain on other. If I could hurt someone, it eased my pain and suffering. What inspired you to make a positive change? I remember I would be sitting alone and the thought would enter my mind, and the million dollar question would be, ‘Is there an opposite for this insanity?’ Yes, I knew there was, but I did not know how to achieve it in life. I never had a normal childhood, or even a normal period of life. So how does one get inspired when there is no starting point? But I knew one day I would be free to live the life I was created to live. I had a deep longing to give my children a better life than I had, so the pain and dysfunction would end with me and not carry over to the next generation. There were so many times I wanted to give in and give up, but something deep inside me would be telling me, “Do not quit.”
One strong attribute that I have is that I am a fighter, and fighters never quit. For years it seemed like the only thing I was good at, was not quitting. What was the best piece of advice you’ve been given by another person, or the best lesson you’ve learnt? Wow this question is tough. There are so many I could give, but one in particular comes to mind: It does not matter how you start out in life, it is how you finish. In life you will make mistakes, and people may not praise you like you feel they should and words may have been spoken over your life, but remember one thing: You are not defined by your past. Keep pushing, and never quit. Life gets rough at times and you may feel as though life has won, but remember these words: If you are still breathing, then you still have one more day to turn your life around. Life is not fair and there will be storms around you, but do not allow the storm that is raging on the outside to enter into the inside of your soul. You can make it if you do not give up. How is life like now? Life is great! I currently host two Radio platforms every week and through all the pain and hurt I wrote a book, entitled “Tell All from Insanity to Sane,” and I am even publishing my own magazine. Life could not be better than it is right now. I had to reinvent myself, and through it all I discovered talents and gifts I had no idea I even had. What are you most proud of in your life so far? My children. They have been my greatest fans during a time about two years ago when I lost everything I had, and my children and I were homeless. My son went out and found work to support us while I pursued a career as a
writer. My children stood by my side and never gave up on me. We may not have everything we desire, but we do have everything we need during this season of change and growth. If you had the chance to go back in time and give advice to your previous/ younger self, what would it be? Children, do not disobey your parents. A lot of times, we feel that parents do not understand and that they do not want us to have fun. That, however, is not true; they do. We can only see what is in front of us, but parents can see around the corner and up the street. Parents are not there to make life easy for us, but to instruct us, because they have already been there, and done that. What are the 5 tips you want to share with others going through similar situation as you are? 1. Never give up. 2. Surround yourself with positive people. 3. Seek counsel, and do not be afraid to speak out. 4. Allow yourself time to process what has happened, so you can be on the road to healing. 5. Discover your purpose in your own pain, and change your perspective. Why should people read any self-help/personal development materials like the “I Create Positivity Magazine”? Every one of us has a story that needs to be told, and as we tell about our own tragedies, people around the world will begin to relate and soon discover that they are not alone, and that someone else has gone through the same thing they are going through, which will bring them hope in there darkest hour of need.
WINNING THE BATTLE WITH DEPRESSION Depression is not all it’s made out to be
Depression has become a fad word like “diet” and “low fat,” and to me that means that only some information is given, and a lot of misunderstanding is created. My biggest gripe with what is being said out there, mostly by the medical industry, is that Depression is an illness, and the higher the label, (i.e. mild, chronic, or manic), the greater the chemical treatment. As a former sufferer of Depression (and at a high level at that), and as someone who has worked with many depressed people, I find this labelling system a little offensive and misleading. I cringe every time I hear a supposed intelligent and educated person speak such rubbish. So here is why I think such jargon is rubbish, what I believe to be the differences between the stages, how one gets to a certain stage, and, what to do about it.
Depression at its basic level is feeling down, flat, and deeply saddened. In fact, the difference between sad and depressed is the time in which one stays in the state of mind, and potentially the severity of the down-ness. Depression as a physical concept was created to describe someone who was struggling to overcome a deep sadness caused by some triggering event. How deeply the person fell into this abyss is what determined whether they were a mild, chronic or manic depressant. “Mild” simply meant they were dealing with a deep sadness, but were working through it and just needed some time, and in that time they would come out of it. It could be characterised by a short period of time. “Chronic” means the person has been depressed for a longer period of time,
and is dwelling in the depressive state (this could be for various reasons). “Manic” depressant means this person has allowed themselves to be overcome by their depression, and it’s affecting their ability to function. All of these are a variation of the same thing: A depressive state. To me, depression is a state, or a conditioned series of behaviours, that create and encourage a particular state, in this case depression. If I asked you to describe a depressed person, you could describe them with absolute detail and mirror their physiology. In fact if you did, you would feel depressed for a moment. You see, it’s too easy and convenient to create labels, and then simply slap that label onto people as having an illness and medicate them. It’s easier and quicker to deal with, and at this
point it’s not about the person with depression; it’s about everyone else around them who want things to get easier, so that they can cope better. The sad thing is many people with depression would gladly accept this diagnosis, and here are some reasons why: 1. It gets them love, attention, and comfort. 2. It gives them an excuse to not be as responsible for themselves, when really they could and should be. 3. Ignorance and a lack of wanting to educate themselves about their situation; a willingness to take one bit of info as gospel. Depression is a series of decisions on the meaning of things based on one’s ability to reconcile an event, and physical behaviours as a result of those decisions done over and over again that become conditioned. If we understand this we understand that, easily or difficultly, we can reverse these effects. Depression is an effect, not a cause by working on new lines of thought and reconciliation and behavioural patterns. Many people do want to overcome depression, but they don’t and the two major reasons I will highlight are: Lack of knowledge and, perhaps most crucial, lack of a compelling alternative to move toward. For many people, the idea of thinking
of a better life, or better something, feels wrong to them. This in itself conflicts with their true nature which adds to the depression, also making them feel trapped. Furthermore most people don’t know what they want, so as bad and uncomfortable as their current situation is, it’s still secure and familiar enough so that they reluctantly stay in that cycle. Many people are stuck in this cycle because of a lack of knowledge, and a failure to perform research that they can do easily and at any time in this day and age. Too many people take one lot of advice or mainstream advice without looking into all the facts and possibilities. This often causes them to surrender to one way of thinking, and this can be unnecessarily defeating. Here are some simple things one can do to win the battle over Depression. For these things to work, they must be done consistently and continuously: 1. Acknowledge what you are feeling. It’s actually a great part of the journey; I describe it as the best ‘shit place’ you will ever be in. 2. Do not avoid or run from what you are feeling. --DECIDE TO WIN NO MATTER WHAT-- Just know there is an underlying message and issue you must deal with as part of your own growth and development.
3. Look at this as life giving you a fresh canvas to design a new one. 4. Get busy and curious in designing that new life, that new, compelling, alternative that you can start to gravitate toward, and move away from where you are now. Be positively selfish and unbound. 5. Be active, as exercise boosts your natural happy hormones, but also gets you out of your head (which can cause mental cabin fever) and into a more positive inducing physiology. 6. Surround yourself with positive, strong people. Find a coach or a mentor, someone who has done what you want to do, and let them help you stretch yourself and grow. A confidant that is mature enough for you to talk to and reflect off. 7. Keep a journal and track your emotions. 8. Know that anytime you have an off moment it is simply a moment of learning for you to add to your wisdom pile, and to use to further propel yourself forward. A quick side note: Some people may be on anti-depressants. Despite my disagreement with them, I understand for some it helps them get by. In this case, together with the observation of your doctor, the goal is to gradually come off them as you resolve the deeper causes of your depression.
PETROS GALANOULIS Based in Melbourne Australia, he works as a life direction coach, predominantly with individuals and entrepreneurs who are struggling to find their sense of direction or purpose in one or all areas of life and are struggling to move past any limitations and blockages they may be experiencing. With over 12 years of professional experience and over 30 years of personal experience, he developed his coaching process: the G.P.S. system. www.GPS2PersonalPower.com
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SINGLE MOTHER TO NEW FOUND STRENGTH AND SUCCESS I decided to start a business on the foundations of some of my skills and qualifications, and create a flexible, more fulfilling life for myself and my son. With the help of Sarina Russo’s “Job Access’ New Enterprise Incentive” scheme, I was able to begin building that dream of starting my own business to provide counselling services to the corporate world and other professionals in the business, industry, and community sectors. What were some of the challenges you have faced? I was dealing with major life changes, and it was a very difficult time to go through. Emotionally, there was a lot of grief and disappointment I was dealing with. But at the same time, I was doing everything I could to stay positive and active for the next stages of my life. It was also very hard and humbling to go from the successful life that I had built, to ultimately find myself in food queues and on welfare just to get by and maintain a stable quality of life for myself and my son.
SaraSwati Shakti was a wife, a mother and had a
Building confidence and self-esteem regularly after each disappointment was my highest priority. And, staying positive and grateful for receiving the help I needed at pivotal turning points, kept me going.
successful career. To most people, she had it all and life was on the rise until she lost it all and had to start her life all over again. What helped you get through it? This time, as a single mother, jobless and on welfare It was my spirituality and belief in Not only was Marie not beaten by this set back, she turned her life around in a short period of time and became a successful entreprenure by providing counselling services to professionals. Her challenge became her motivation to search for a better life for her and her son. What was life like before all this happened? I had a very successful career as an executive transforming Government services, when a series of major changes shook my life. The redundancy of my senior public servant role, experiencing a divorce, and finding myself a single mother on welfare catapulted me into a new direction. I had to start all over again financially, and I had to rebuild my life.
a higher purpose that kept me focussed, as well as the help I was receiving progressively from people who assisted me. I used tools that I learned in my training as a psychotherapist and counsellor, my interest in spirituality and positive psychology, and stayed on target with regular goals and visioning for a better life. I also began drawing art as an outlet, and focus on things that were valu-
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS. ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT. KEEP LEARNING. EVERY HICCUP AND CHALLENGE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO BUILD SKILLS, STRENGTH, STAMINA, AND SELF-APPRECIATION. able in my life, things that were enjoyable and therapeutic, as a way of keeping my energies high. Spiritual practice such as daily meditation, affirmations, self-help books, and tools, were also pivotal. As was taking practical, achievable steps every day.
to have faith in the journey is key. I learned to celebrate every milestone, no matter how small it may have appeared to someone else, as that was the motivation and acknowledgement that demonstrated to me that I was moving forward.
What inspired you to keep moving forward? It was while I was going through the dark stages that I created a concept called “Loving Psyche”, a new business idea, and I started to do some background work on it. My qualification as a psychotherapist helped me understand the human condition, and I was inspired by many spiritual teachers and transformational coaches. I wondered what it would be like to have a world where we all focussed on our own personal development and took responsibility for our lives, and loving ourselves, through transformation and difficult times. That became my focus. I studied ancient and modern practices with Spiritual groups, and was even gifted a spiritual name as part of the acknowledgement of the advanced work I was doing. Now, I can use some of that same learning and experience to help others move more gracefully through their own transformations.
How is your life now? I am developing my business now and learning all the ways I can to market, manage, and focus it. It is motivating and inspiring me on my life’s purpose. The support of the Sarina Russo “Training in Small Business” has been a brilliant help in getting me started on understanding all the intricacies of running a business professionally.
What was the best lesson you’ve learnt through this challenging journey? The best lesson I learned is to put my needs first, especially my health and well-being, so that I could get through the most difficult stages. That was fundamental. It was important to stay positive, to keep learning and growing, and to surround myself with people who supported me. It can be a very lonely, and isolating experience when your life starts to crumble, so believing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and
I now have a happier, healthier, more independent, and more fulfilling and creative life. One that works better for me and my values, builds on my skills and preferences, and supports my home life as a single mum. And my business is now a great and innovative way to broadly and widely pass on the wisdom from my own training and experience, so that I can assist others going through transformative life change. What are you most proud of in your life so far? That I have got through the darkest hours of my life, and I have come through the other side more inspired, energised and happier. That I have been building solid personal and business foundations, and now well on the path of re-building a new life, and re-contributing even more positively to the world around me. If you had the chance to go back in time and give advice to your previous self, what would it be? Believe in yourself. Know your strengths. Ask for help when you
need it. Keep learning. Every hiccup and challenge is an opportunity to build skills, strength, stamina, and self-appreciation. You matter, and you make a difference. You are worth a beautiful life. Create it. What are your 5 tips of advice? 1. Put your needs first, including health and well-being, to get through. And surround yourself with people who support you. 2. Find a passion that will sustain you during the darker moments. That gives a boost to your mood. And be kind to yourself. 3. Keep focusing on practical steps to move forward, that will keep you from getting stuck or going into a dark hole. 4. Consider a spiritual, inspirational, or motivational practice, and a counsellor, or coach to keep you motivated and help you along the way. 5. Celebrate every milestone, big and small, and stay positive, persistent, and proactive so that things will get better. Why should people read any self-help/personal development materials like the I Create Positivity Magazine? It can be very hard to stay positive when you are experiencing setbacks in your life, and it can be tempting and easy to feel defeated. Self-help tools are incredibly important, because the answers you need can be found in the research and work that others have compiled. They can trigger a truthfulness in your own experiences, the actions you need to take, and the important work you are doing on yourself. When you read something relevant, it can give you the right next move, action, or connection, which keeps you creating a better, more positive, and personally fulfilling life.
For further information about Sara, visit her website www.lovingpsyche.com
FROM OVERWEIGHT,
UNHEALTHY TO FINISHING A HALF MARATHON IN JUST 9 WEEKS!
Bec McCallcum was a mother of three,
and just after having her twin girls she started putting on weight. She used the excuse that ‘it was just baby fat,” but in her heart she knew differently. “I lost my self-esteem, I no longer liked who I was, and I was happy to leave the house in my husband’s clothes with my hair unprepared because I basically didn’t care anymore.” “I remember a turning point for me was going back to the UK and seeing friends and family. I had not been back in two years and instead of people seeing me all happy and glowing, they saw an overweight person who was not very happy. I knew I had to change this for myself and my family.” “I came back home, and paid for a coach (I really had no money but I needed support and guidance, and I honestly believed this was the only way). I decided that for me I needed to set a big goal, one that was way beyond reach, and I did. I decided to train for the Sunshine Coast Half Marathon. It was winter, and the only times I could train were at night when my husband was home. Somehow I managed to find the motivation to go out in the cold and dark, and train for this run. I changed my eating habits and only
had food that nourished my body. I went from being a size 18 to a size 12 and managed to complete my first ever half marathon in 9 weeks! Beforehand I was a couch potato, and I drank and ate too much. But the desire to achieve this goal was so strong that I had to do it.” “There were times, especially during the marathon, where my body hurt; I had blisters on my feet and I desperately wanted to stop running, but I knew if I did that I would be so disappointed, so I had to continue. I completed the half in 2 hours and 20 minutes. The feeling, the joy, the pride I felt crossing that finishing line was like no other I had ever felt. I got through it by talking to myself. I encouraged myself and became my own cheer leader. In my head I was congratulating myself for doing an awesome job and kept telling myself I could do it.” Tell us how you felt before you made a postive change to your health and lifestyle? Before I went on my weight loss journey I felt unhealthy, I loathed the
way I looked, and had low self-esteem. I used to overeat and I would not fuel my body with the correct food because I did not see the point. I had a short fuse with my children, and basically just used to sit in front of the TV. It was not fun, but I did not want to do what it took to become fit and healthy. Tell us about your challenges. My real challenge was myself. The constant negative self-talk and all the old stories playing around in my mind. I was negative about a lot of things and blamed everyone and everything else around me. I was not able to take responsibility for my own actions. What did you do to change your life for the better? I actually found myself an amazing coach. I found having someone to hold me accountable really helped, but also having someone there to ask me the right questions and get out of my own mind was crucial. It was not easy, but I was paying some-
one a lot of money that I knew was hard to find for me at the time. Ultimately, I still needed to take the actions and I still had some awesome wins and moments when I just wanted to give up! When I had those moments, I had someone to talk to though. Someone who would ask the right questions, to help me come up with a plan of action. What and who inspired you to take action? The first thing I did was to set myself a massive goal: I was going to run a half marathon! Now being nearly 100kg and a couch potato, this was a big, big challenge, especially as the half marathon was only 9 weeks away! I knew if I wanted my life to be better, I needed to do this. Another perceived ‘’fail’’ would really gnaw my confidence. My husband was on board as
well, so he was a great help. He always pushed me in the right direction and he also held me accountable. I started improving with my running, and actually started to really enjoy it. The weight was coming off and I was feeling awesome! I suddenly became an inspiration for other people as well, which was an amazing feeling. What was the best lesson you’ve learnt from this? To accept responsibility, learn from it and move on. Stop blaming other people for your circumstances. At first, that is really confronting but once you realise this, no one else can hold you back, and suddenly you have empowered yourself to make the change! How is life like now? I obviously still face challenges, but
when I do, my head is in a much better place to deal with it! I’m more likely to remain positive and think of a way of dealing with a situation. What are you most proud of in your life so far? Crossing the finishing line of that half marathon. There was no feeling like it!! WOW! If you had the chance to go back in time and give advice to your younger self, what would it be? Love yourself, become your own best friend. Build strong foundations within yourself and don’t worry about what other people think. Live your own life, follow your own dreams. There will always be people who don’t like what you’re doing! Who cares, that is their issue.
TIPS FOR OTHERS WANTING TO ACHIEVE SIMILAR RESULTS AS YOU DID 1. Health is the most important thing. Without it, money doesn’t really matter. Eating and exercising play a huge part in mental health. Get that right, and you’ll feel better in so many other areas of your life. 2. Find out WHY you want to achieve that goal, so when things are feeling tough, that WHY will get you through. 3. Believe in yourself, realise you are worth it, and learn to love yourself. Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself how awesome you are! Self-talk is so important, because most of us criticise and blame ourselves. Turn it around and your life will change in ways you could only imagine. Believe in yourself! 4. Set yourself a goal and a map of how to get there.
This keeps you on track when you really feel like giving up. 5. Surround yourself with people who want you to succeed, these are the people who will support you when you feel like you can’t carry on. 6. A way to create lasting weight loss is to first and foremost love yourself. Without self-love, you will never be happy with how you look, and you’ll revert back to old eating habits. 7. Be honest with yourself. We can all rerun old stories in our minds to make ourselves feel better, but the only person you are fooling is yourself. Once you are honest with yourself, it’s easier to formulate a plan to move forward. Stop with the excuses and the story telling and go and become the person you were meant to be.
Why should people read any self-help/personal development materials like the I Create Positivity Magazine? When you immerse yourself in this kind of thing, you become more positive, you feel inspired, and it gives you the motivation to go out and do something for yourself. Children need to be taught this in school. I believe if children learnt about confidence and self-belief, the world would be a much happier place. Quite often, people who are mean or seen as ‘’haters’’ are only acting that way based on the beliefs they have learnt, and because they don’t have the confidence to go and follow their dreams.
You can connect with Bec via her website: www.becmccallum.com
A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO EXERCISE We all know we should exercise, but when you haven’t exercised for a while, it can be difficult to know where to start.
BENEFITS OF EXERCISE When we think about exercise, most of us tend to think of it as a weightloss tool. However, weight management is just one small benefit of regular exercise. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), regular physical activity: • reduces the risk of developing heart disease, high blood pressure and stroke • reduces the risk of developing type 2 diabetes and metabolic syndrome • reduces the risk of developing some cancers • improves cardiovascular fitness, muscular strength • improves the health of our bones and reduces the risk of hip or vertebral fractures • reduces the risk of depression • aids in weight management. Exercising on a regular basis also helps improve your mood, reduces stress, increases your energy levels and promotes better sleep. HOW MUCH EXERCISE AND WHAT KIND? The WHO recommends that adults get 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity each week.
That’s about 30 minutes a day, five times per week. When it comes to exercise, your overall plan should include three types: • Aerobic or cardio activity — uses large muscle groups in a continuous and rhythmic motion and promotes heart health (e.g. walking, running, swimming, cycling, dancing, etc.). You should aim to do this activity most days. • Flexibility exercises —use the muscle/tendon groups and helps reduce stiffness and injury (e.g. yoga, Pilates, stretching). You should aim to do this kind of activity twice a week. • Weights or resistance activity muscle-strengthening activities that build muscle and strengthen bone mass (e.g. weight resistance machines, free weights, barbells, body-weight exercises such as squats, lunges, pushups and dips). You should aim to perform this type of activity two to three times per week. The good news is that you don’t have to do the above in separate sessions. For example, you could begin a cardio or resistance session with some gentle stretches, or finish your walk with some sit-ups or push-ups.
BEFORE YOU START Before you whip out the exercise gear and don your runners, it might be worth visiting your GP first, particularly if you: • are over 40 years of age • have been sedentary for a number of years • have a pre-existing medical condition • are overweight • experience chest pain during exercise • often faint or get dizzy • get breathless during moderate-intensity exercise • are at high risk of heart disease or you have a heart problem • are pregnant. Your GP will be able to determine what areas of your health you need to work on, and if you need to limit the kinds of activity you are doing. SORT OUT YOUR EQUIPMENT If it’s been a while since you exercised, then you probably need to invest in some workout gear. Don’t worry about the brightly-coloured lycra (unless that’s what motivates you). Instead you should: • invest in a good pair of shoes that will support your foot appropriately for the activity you
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• • • • •
will be undertaking buy appropriate clothing — bike pants will avoid chafing and a loose t-shirt will ensure you are comfortable. Don’t forget the socks! be correctly fitted for a sports bra (ladies only) ensure you have a hat if you plan to exercise outdoors remember the sunscreen load up your iPod with songs that inspire you grab yourself a refillable water bottle.
Depending upon the activity you are planning to do, you may also like to consider a stretching mat, a skipping rope or some light hand-weights. All of these are available at most sporting stores SEEK PROFESSIONAL ADVICE As well as speaking to your GP, you should engage the services of a qualified exercise physiologist or certified personal trainer. Not only will they be able to devise a program to suit your goals, abilities and limitations, but they will also ensure that you are performing exercise correctly so you are less likely to injure yourself. The simple act of spending money on their services may also help ensure you actually exercise!
START OUT SLOWLY It’s never too late to make a change for the better. However, a key mistake that many people make is doing too much too soon. This often leads to injury, stiffness and soreness and can even be the cause of people giving up on exercise. Don’t be overwhelmed by the above recommendations. Instead, think of them as goals to aim for. Start out slowly and gently increase your pace and duration as you feel ready. Your initial goal might be to be active on three days a week. Once you have mastered that, add in an extra day until you are active in some capacity, every day. Planned exercise sessions are not the only ones that count. Incidental exercise counts towards your daily quota too. Incidental exercise is the extra movement you get throughout your day without really noticing it. (i.e. walking up steps, washing the car, grocery shopping, etc.) SOME FINAL TIPS • Work to your own level - gradually increase intensity and duration based on what you can do. Don’t be tempted to keep up with someone who has been exercising for years.
• Be safe - make sure you know how to use any exercise equipment correctly and always seek advice if you are not sure. If you are out walking, make sure you keep an eye out for cars and bikes (particularly if you use shared footways). • Learn proper form - seek the advice of a qualified fitness professional where appropriate, particularly if you are doing any kind of weight training. • Listen to your body - if you experience pain while performing an exercise, stop. If you feel sick or fatigued, consider postponing your session, or resting instead. Just don’t get into the habit of resting! • Stretch - always stretch before and after exercise to avoid injury and post-exercise stiffness. • Rest - let your body rest and recover properly. Don’t overdo it. • Set goals - as your fitness increases, aim to increase the intensity or duration of your exercise sessions. It’s not always easy to fit exercise into a busy schedule, but if you can develop a new routine where exercise is part of your day, you will be well on your way to a happier, healthier new you!
NERISSA BENTLEY Nerissa Bentley is a Melbourne-based freelance writer and founder of Write to the Point Communications (www.writetothepointcommunications.com. au). She specialises in writing and blogging for the health and wellness industry. © Write to the Point Communications
SHY AND WITHDRAWN NOW A PASSIONATE WEALTH SPEAKER AND EDUCATOR Leo’s story is relatable to so many young boys who are struggling to grow up in a cruel world full of challenges and unfairness. Leo used to be shy and withdrawn and was often bullied by other kids. Even his teachers would tell him that he would never get anywhere in life. He would often wonder why other kids have it all where he would feel so small despite being one of the tallest kids in class. Leo would imagine how life would be if everything was different. He would visualise himself with a voice, being social, making a difference, being powerful and secure, and living life without the fear of failure or the doubts coming from all the voices that he was beginning to believe. Yet despite of all his efforts and selftalk, he failed year 12 and lost his confidence.
“I really felt like giving up as this was my life. I always had a vision to do something more for myself, and help others and my community. Perhaps it was not meant to be.” Leo didn’t take the easy option, instead he decided to look for people who would support his life to balance all the negativity and challenges. Soon enough he had a few allies, and it seemed all the villains in his life were beginning to have less and less influence. Then, he repeated year 12, studied science, completed a degree, increased his confidence, became a medical scientist, found a voice and more; life seemed on the way up. But still not quite right….. Suddenly his father was diagnosed as terminally ill, and he nursed him
at home for over 3 months until his passing. The unexpected death of his father lead him to a journey of personal discovery as he realised that his father did not die with a life wish and that he had already achieved all his dreams. Although a very casual and humble guy, he was described by his family and friends as “king”, as he really felt like one each and every day. This sparked Leo’s incredible journey in studying what success means, driven by the fact that he also wanted to live life feeling like “king”. He looked at what was missing most in his life, and at his dream. “We always had less, and I was over that. Remembering the visualisation of feeling King, I studied all the reasons that can prevent us from becom-
ing wealthy, and I studied these until I knew exactly how to proceed. I studied my values and I found my purpose, which inspired me so much that I felt the power, and nothing could slow me down. This led to more confidence, success, and a wonderful knowledge that was built around personal discovery and personal development.” “I studied all the reasons that can prevent us from being successful, and then developed my mathematical equation to success.” “These days I am a passionate speaker and educator, dedicating my life to help others find the ultimate success in their lives. As a leading life and wealth mindset expert, I take pride in assisting others in this important life process.” “The most important thought one can have in the journey to one day love their life and be on their way to feeling like a King, is to ask and continue to keep asking the question What is the next small step?” How was life after your father’s passing? Life had finally improved to the point where I was satisfied, and it certainly did not have all the negative feelings associated with the previous pain. To my surprise, all the things that caused the pain were not there, however something was still missing, as I felt unfulfilled and wanted more. After the incident where my father died everything began to change. What did you decide to do? My father’s death inspired me to live and die like King. I realised he had achieved his dreams and died so differently, as he did not have a life wish. He died in a way different from so many, and now I had a reason and the knowledge of how I could do this. So, I decided to map out what my dreams were and what I wanted to achieve. I knew all my
father’s dreams were out of touch for him at one point, so I decided to dream big. I studied other successful people, looking for commonalities so that I could perhaps come up with a mathematical formula on how I could get there. What were the challenges you faced at the time? I wanted more success, I wanted more meaning in life, and I wanted to contribute to society and my community in a bigger and more influential way. I really wanted to make a difference. My self-worth was higher during these days, however I wanted it to be even higher than that. I wanted to help others grow as much as I felt I had. What was your inspiration? My inspiration was to continue my father’s journey. He jumped so many hurdles for us to be where we were, and I was now prepared to jump as many hurdles as required to achieve my dreams. What was the best piece of advice you’ve been given by your father? My father always said that you can do anything in life; that you are capable, and you have everything you need. I also heard that in 5 years, you will be the average of the books you have read, and the people you are around and learning from. How is life now? Life is great, and I have achieved beyond what was once out of my reach and way beyond my expectations, especially the expectations of the people that put me down and once listened to. What are you most proud of in your life so far? Two things which are my highest values. I am a great father, son, husband and friend, who contributes to the
success of my family each and every day. I understand how to lead my life, and have been able to inspire my family to take action on their dreams. My wealth mindset has enabled me to create my financial freedom, which will allow me many choices in the future. I am now in the 0.05% of property investors in Australia. What would you tell your younger self if you could travel back in time? “Leo, you worried about all the challenges along the way, they caused you so much pain. However, did it have to be so painful? It was part of your journey, and it gave you the success and achievement you have today. This has given you so much pleasure.” What are your 5 tips of success? 1. Learn how to develop a strong self-worth. 2. Shift your paradigm and increase your value to others. 3. Discover the power of your net worth. 4. Say “I can,” and “I will.” 5. Learn and accept that challenges are part of your success. Why should people read any self-help/personal development materials like the I Create Positivity Magazine? Self-development materials offer a real purpose. They assist you to see the other side. When we feel pain and perhaps feel like we are just surviving, or even worse, feel isolated as if we were in a prison, we see the other side and take small steps towards becoming inspired and realising that we have other choices. You’re then able to increase your self-worth, make a difference to your life, and have the chance at some point to help others do the same. Essentially, you are able to decide at some point to discover something new, and when this happens you are taking action toward a new life, a life you love, and a life that you are truly living.
MONEY AND YOUR EMOTIONS Spend now or save for tomorrow? Many financial decisions come down to this exact problem. If you buy the dress or that gadget now, you can’t use that money at the weekend to pay for the restaurant. How do we reconcile these kind of trade-offs? What factors influence our decisions? There are two sets of answers to the question of how we decide whether to spend or save, hoard or splurge. In the first set of answers humans are seen as rational, logical creatures that make decisions about money by carefully weighing up the present against the future. People try to balance how useful it is to spend the money now, compared to how useful it will be to spend the money later. And for the phrase ‘how useful’ you can substitute, say: ‘how happy it makes you/someone else’ or ‘the financial advantage you would gain.’ It’s all about trade-offs in current emotional, financial or other states at that moment compared to how you imagine the future. Our emotions play a big part in our spending, we think we buy for logical reasons, i.e. it will give me this result, or it would make my life easier or make me look or feel better. However, when you look at the reasons carefully, they are heavily emotionally based. Most of us assess our buying reasons with our logical thinking brain, but we make the final call with our emotional brain. And guess what? The emotional brainwins every time. This is why people can’t stop buying chocolates or sugary foods, they make us feel good the moment we put them in our mouths. Now the logical brain will tell you how the after effect of this will not benefit you, but eventually it buys into the emotional
brain because you will convince yourself how it will momentarily enhance you in some shape or form. As human beings, it is natural that we buy into short-term gains because it’s instant. Our supply of self-control is limited. Studies show that our self-control is actually sapped each time we use it (Baumeister & Vohs, 2003). It’s also weakened, predictably, by alcohol, lack of sleep and stress. Here is a list of negative emotions that affect our self-control: • Sadness makes us want a change (any change). Sadness may well increase the chance we want to spend. One study found that those who are sad are more likely to want to sell at a lower price and buy at a higher price (Lerner, Small & Loewenstein, 2004). • Anxiety makes us want to reduce uncertainty, uncertainty of what the future might hold. To eliminate that uncertainty, most of us would pay. • Wanting to fit in makes us do and buy silly things so that we feel like we belong, that we are wanted and approved of. • Another major factor is fear. Fear drives us to make crazy decisions and if we could trade money to make fear go away, most of us would pay a very high price. We now have an understanding of how our emotions affect our mon-
etary decisions. The question is not how we stop it or how do we control our spending decisions, or how to exercise our self-control better so we are not affected by it. The smarter question to ask is: how do we utilise our emotions to help us spend less on non beneficial things, save better and the most crucial part, make a hell of a lot more? Let’s face it, if you have $10, you can only cut it up into 10 $1 coins and save so much, right? Your potential in this scenario is limited. However, if you understand how your emotions affect your finances, turn it into a positive and utilise it wisely to help you save and MAKE more, the potential in this scenario is now unlimited, or to put it another way, the only limitations are those you place on it. This means that the better you get at this, the more you invest in you, the greater the result will be. When you look at the issue from this perspective, the world has gotten a whole lot brighter. So here are a few suggestions to get your started: 1. Review your current position – take a day out and lock yourself in your office, study or wherever you place your financial documents. Pull them out and run through them, have a look at what you spent most of your money on and see if there is
a pattern happening. Most people have a spending pattern and most of that pattern is dictated by emotions. When you have found that pattern, think back to why you did it and see if you could pinpoint what the emotional decision was. Reviewing your current position will also help you to realise where you spend your money and why. Do this when you are clear in your thinking and are not affected by any emotional challenges at the time, such as by an argument or something similar. However, if you can’t do this because of your schedules, then I would suggest you practice putting your accounting hat on and switch to business mode before looking through those statements. 2. Let go of what’s not working – when you’ve worked out your emotional pattern, this should spark a light bulb moment. Your logical brain will realise what you’ve done to cause this pattern and deep in your gut, most of you will know exactly what you need to do. However, most of you may also
find it hard to let it go. A pattern is basically a habit, it’s a sub-conscious habit that you didn’t even realise you had until you took a deeper look at yourself. It’s not easy to break away but you must let go of what’s not working for you. Holding on to the thoughts that one day this may get better with no clear plan on how it could happen is no different to gambling, except you are not in a casino. 3. Write a new but short plan – why not a long plan like 12 months or 2 years? Because most people won’t follow it. Our emotional brains like instant gains, so to ensure we feed it what it needs to keep us congruent, it’s better to feed it with short-term goals. If you prefer long-term plans, by all means write one but put it away somewhere that you can review it at a later date. Keep the short-term plan with you at all times to keep you focused. That plan must have some gain in the end and when you have achieved it, reward your emotional brain with it so it can see that it’s working. Then, repeat the plan again and again.
WEALTH CREATION IS A MARATHON, YOU CAN’T SPRINT IT.
Last but not least, start investing in your personal wealth education. Learn from others who have succeeded and how they do things, not what they will sell you but what they are doing themselves that sets them apart from the rest. Remember, you are the captain of your financial health and the limit to your opportunities.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Iris Wang is a Finance Expert, Property Investor and Wealth Creator. She started investing at the age of 20 and has since purchased and sold 12 properties around Australia. After healing herself from depression, she has dedicated her life to helping and educating others to better themselves financially. Iris offers a free financial assessment to help people turn their debt into cash flow. For more information, visit her website: www.iriswang.com.au.
THE TOUGH GETS TOUGHER AND STRONGER
Patty Kapua was born and raised In New Zea-
land and lived on the Gold Coast, Australia for 16 years. She is an amazing mother to 4 handsome & adorable boys, an entrepreneur and the creator of Inner Spark Systems, Social Seasons Events and co-founder of Empress Tribe. An avid follower of the New Zealand All Blacks, and a person who loves to play sports, a socialite with a knack of connecting people. She had it all, amazing children, a dream business, a daring personality, a go getter attitude and life is flying. And it wasn’t that long ago that Patty was a victim to domestic violence to her first marriage which turned her life and her relationship into chaos. When moving to Australia with her second husband at the time, they had big dreams to work for a while in Australia, save up then move to the United States. This dream never eventuate when Patty’s self-sabotaging behaviours surfaced. She turned to alcohol and eventually resulted in household arguments. There is a saying, “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.” Not only did Patty manage to release herself from being the victim, she used her mistakes to fuel her drive to run her own business, take charge of her life and become a better parent. What really happened and how did she do it? We are about to find out through this unplugged, no holds barred and open interview. Tell us about your life growing up. For as long as I can remember as a child, alcohol, drugs, smoking and partying was a ‘normal’ way of life. My motto has always been and still is that my parents did the best job with the tools that they had. I love my parents dearly. My mum is a Christian woman who lives and breathes bible principles; to the point I thought she was my idea of perfection, something I could never attain to. My Mother, the fitness guru, sometimes a freak he he, mad sportswoman, squash, netball, basketball, hockey, cyclist you name that woman could do it!! But wait there’s more, she was a chef, every year for a whole week she would preserve golden queen peaches, pears, chow chow pickle blah, blah I’m getting exhausted writing her resume ;) Please note, here where my un-resourceful self-belief that to be a perfect woman I had to be like my mother and do it all…. comparing yourself to others, BAD CALL! What can I share about my Dad, do I have enough words in this article to share how much love goes to this man who was the hardest & emotionally stunted man I know! I loved my Dad: the twit died suddenly last year, God damn inconvenient!! Why yes you may have noticed how I cope with grief and trauma? My sense of humor and sarcasm kicks in, howev-
er it is not always a resourceful way of dealing with matters of the heart and or importance. Mr. Dallas Leslie Waho, was an amazing father to me, no not the storybook kind of father, he swore like a trooper, he was emotionally abusive, workaholic, habitual womanizer and alcoholic. Those are his labels he wore to cope with his upbringing. I am not making excuses for his behavior, I just accepted him for what he was. My father was not the best husband to my mother nor the best role model. He was however a successful businessman, including real estate portfolio, an amazing and talented musician who worked day and night to provide for his family and yet he choose to work and party. I felt he did not know how to connect to his children, on a deeper level of connection or even unconditional love for that matter. Even now as a mother, I wonder am I doing my very best to raise my children, can I do better, what more can I teach them to be the next generation of leaders? What happened in your first marriage? The first 7 years of my Dating life I had an on and off relationship & shotgun marriage to my first husband, we lived in my hometown and then I decided to leave him, monkey barring* to the father of my children (Tony) and moved to Australia together for a new start. So the answer is no, I didn’t allow myself to heal or work through any of ‘my stuff’, my way of dealing with my shit was to drink and party, be loud and boisterous, the center of attention to create my sense of belonging, the creator of smoke screens so nobody could see my pile of shit, obviously I created the exact opposite! One of my darkest times in my married life, I remembered looking up at the man I loved, whilst he pinned me down and continually punched my face again and again asking me if I like it, until my face was ripped opened, exposing flesh, blood oozing everywhere.
I remember being in the ER department, being assessed by the doctor when my father came bursting in and wanted to kill my husband, fixing the issue with more violence, when does it stop? Seeing the hurt and helplessness on my father’s face, it felt like someone had run a blade through my heart. I don’t remember the physical pain, what I can remember, wanting it to stop; feelings of wanting to die would often creep in. I often wondered during those violent times why or how did I attract a partner that was so violent, essentially powered by evil? What possessed him to hit me with such force, anger and hate and without a drop of alcohol that would hospitalize another human being? I would often think, what if I kept my mouth shut and be a “yes woman” would that have prevented the beatings? Yet, he could be the most romantic man, who wrote poems, sent me love letters (posted them in the mail), he sang and he dedicated love songs to me, opened doors, brought me flowers and gifts, surprised me with picnics in the most picturesque places, you name it he did it and yet he would treat me like gutter trash to remind me, who’s Boss! Finally, I had the courage and strength to leave husband number #1, I weighed up my options and knew that I wanted to live and did not deserve to die or to have a life of misery so I packed up all my insecurities and my obscure outlook of what love was and meet Tony (husband #2) who was just as hurt and incomplete as I was. So what happened after you left your first husband? I moved to Australia with my then boyfriend Tony, who I later married and had 4 wonderful children to him. We had BIG dreams of working in Australia for a while and then moving to
the United States, obviously that did not eventuate. So what did happen? I drank myself stupid, fought with my man, and all because I was drowning in my own pain and heartache, but did not know what my pain was, I just felt lost in space. I continually thought I was broken and f#@ked up. For 15 years we hurt each other, with our lack of communication and inventing different ways how we could grow as far apart from each other as humanly possible. We are currently working on the best ways for our children to raise them as divorced parents. If you had the chance to change anything, would you? I do NOT regret my past, as it has been my journey and life lessons and with those learning’s that is what gives me my WHY and zest for why I do what I want to do. What did you learn from your journey? Every day I am learning, growing and teaching my children and people that come across my path there’s always another outlook on life no matter how dim your inner light may be. How did you get yourself out of the gutter? What are the tips you believed have contributed to your success? If you are reading this and have feelings of hopelessness, like there’s no way out or you cannot see which way to turn to next, let’s recalibrate your internal compass with the following tips; 1. Perform a Mind Dump; Every thought and to do list in your brain, write down on paper, clear your thought patterns, here is where you will gain clarity with your new thinking space. Ask yourself is your Mind full or are you Mindful? 2. Start a Gratitude Diary: Purchase a diary or notebook that grabs your attention, when you look at it, you will smile write everyday 3-5 to things you are truly grateful for. Anytime you need to be reminded of your beautiful Soul, re-read what you have written. Soup for the Soul!
Every day I am learning, growing and teaching my children and people that come across my path there’s always another outlook on life no matter how dim your inner light may be.
3. Start Daily Meditation: Google guided meditation downloads to get you started. This will bring you back to being present, with your thoughts, decisions and actions. 4. Surround yourself with Like-minded People: Time to clean house, culling all negative people (family and friends department). Don’t cut yourself off from your family, however just minimize your precious time wisely, until you have the adequate strength to defend and ward off any unwanted negativity. Modeling excellence is created when you surround yourself with authentic people who come from Love
5. Creating Boundaries: Setting the bar and or your standards is the perfect place to start, with small, bite size steps. When someone tells you something that does not agree with you and your values, do not take that statement on as gospel, repel it and over time like a muscle you do become stronger What are your wishes for those who are going through similar experiences? My wish for you; I am giving you permission to shine. Allow yourself to be YOU and not want others want you to be.
PATTY KAPUA My coaching & mentoring businesses are all about creating a judgment-free environment to be real, vulnerable and to nurture and giving them the tools they need to work through ‘their’ pain, anger and gift-wrapping with LOVE and ABUNDANCE! I know right, what wonderful attributes. www.InnerSparkSystems.com
Love yourself including all your warts and beauty spots. Who wants a mediocre life? Live your life to the full, with substance and a Life of your choosing!! Much Love Patty-Ann xo *Monkey barring is a very technical term used when describing leaving one partner and not allowing any grieving or healing time before venturing into the next relationship.
FINDING LOVE IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE LIST With the changes in the dynamic of relationships in this day and age, this area of life has become more complex than it ever has been. I also noticed more and more people are turning toward finding their ideal partner through a list of criteria including myself at one point in my life. More and more people are neglecting the fundamentals of how to find love and how to identify the right ideal partner. Some of us have turned into high maintenance creatures and setting the bar too high, making the task of finding long lasting love and happiness almost impossible. “He/she needs to have this and that and so on or this relationship will never work.� While others have developed self-sabotaging behaviours; finding themselves trapped in endless heartache. So, I have decided to seek our Relationship Ex-
Marina Bakker
pert, , for help on what we should look for and signs to be aware of, when finding the ideal partner. Above all that, she’ll help us understand what it means to have a positive, healthy, fun, loving and long lasting relationship. What is your perspective on why people these days are finding it so difficult to have a positive relationship? Not taking the time to prepare for new love. If we are seeking a soul mate-relationship based on the higher elements of our neurology, then we have to first become clear about what this looks like and begin to align our values, beliefs, thoughts and actions to achieve this. We cannot manifest our goal of finding
quality love if we are looking for love based on past relationship attraction factors. Having one foot in the past while the other is in the future is usually what makes us miss out on attracting the love we want. Is it important to have a list when someone is looking for their ideal partner? A list can be helpful in that it can make you clear about the qualities you are looking for in a person and can act as a road map to keep you focused. But a list is the last thing you need to attend to when preparing for new love. We need to ensure that we are vibrating at the same level as our list and this takes time, introspection and the assistance of a skilled therapist/coach in this area. Often we waste a massive amount of time trying to change others, or even situations in order to make our relationships work. What we feel on the inside, we show to others on the outside; the new love vibration that many of us are wanting to manifest cannot be achieved by a ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ attitude and approach. Authenticity is required to attract a quality soul-based love relationship and to achieve this we need to attend to our own personal list first, resolving our issues and maintaining a high love-vibrational frequency. Then, we work on a partner list.
A lot of people rely on the so call “chemistry.” What is it exactly and should we rely on it? When we refer to chemistry, we are usually referring to physical and sexual chemistry. These are the first chemistry building blocks, but must never be the only determining factors for selecting a partner. We need to ensure that communication chemistry is also there. Trust is an essential relationship building block as well and without this you don’t establish a quality relationship, but rather enter into a nightmare situation. So, don’t act on the primal chemistry factors. Instead, wait to determine if the other important relationship chemistries are also present and this takes time.
cannot seek in another if we have not first acquired this ourselves. There is no other way around this: Modern Day Love requires two independent people coming together for an interdependent relationship. Codependent relationships only cause pain and frustration.
What are some of the things you would recommend to look for in a person and as well as how to look for them, so we can have a clearer picture of the other person before things get too serious? Each person will be seeking a different partner package to fulfill them. The most important aspect to this, is to become clear about your future partner’s values and qualities that you wish them to have. Once you have a good understanding of this, reflect if you are living by the same values and hold the same qualities. If not, determine how you will begin to incorporate them into your life, because we
What are some of the tips or advice that one can take to prevent entering into an abusive relationship, or signs that one can watch out for before it’s too late? The best advice I can give here is learning what the Red Flags of Dating and Relating are and in particular, understanding that underneath the surface, we are not all the same. A bit of abuse hurts: I say ‘Three Red Flags RUN.’ Red Flags can also be very difficult to detect, so once again go to the right professionals for the right help, especially if you have a history of attracting hurtful or chaotic relationships.
What are some of the signs to be aware of when meeting someone? It is essential to remember when you meet someone that you do not know who the person is. It will take time to ensure that their words are going to match their actions. It is best, then, to go slow when getting to know someone, because what is built on a strong foundation will stand the test of time.
ABOUT THE MARINA Marina is a Psychotherapist, Coach, Educator and Author of the book Dangerous Liaisons). You can purchase her book via her website www.modernlovesolutions.com. She has been featured in NBC News, CNN, FoxNews.com, The Boston Globe, Miami Herald, CBS News, Wall Street Select and MoneyShow.com. At the end of 2014, we interviewed Marina over a webinar on How to put an end to damaging relationships. Luckily, we have recorded the webinar so it is now stored in our knowledge database for anyone who may be interested in learning more about it. You can watch this webinar via: http://icreatepositivity.com/webinars/watchwebinar-recordings/. Marina is also our Magazine’s Relationship Expert so if you have any relationship questions or advice that you would like to ask Marina, please visit http://icreatepositivity.com/asktheexpert/marinabakker
WHAT’S IN THE STARS RAISE ME UP IN LOVE AND LIGHT Sitting down at my desk, I closed my eyes and asked the Archangels of the light what message they had for the readers of ‘I Create Positivity E-Magazine’ over the next three months. I really had no idea where this was going and I found myself being joined by Archangel Michael of the Light, Lord Metatron of the Light and Archangel Raziel of the light. I found the presence of three powerful Archangels of the light very fitting as this message is about the next three months. The power of three brings a united force of energies that is increased threefold, and represents the unity of the mind, body, and spirit. The message that was being conveyed to me was about healing as a collective consciousness of minds, bodies, and spirits. The message was very specific and was asking us all to work together in clearing the lower vibrations that reside with Anger. When the power of three requests that we do this as a collective, we are not necessarily asked to join together physically as a large group. Although it would be a nice idea to work with family or friends, this work can
be done individually or assisted by a practitioner of your choice. In the past few years, we have all felt the awakening in some form or another. As we continue along this pathway in 2015 we are being asked to do this on a massive scale. Unite with the spiritual forces of the light and allow the love to flow that is being given to you so freely. Ground your energies every day as this will enable those higher vibrations to magnify within you. WORKING WITH THE MIND Spend the next month clearing your mind, explore what truly works for you, join a meditation group, listen to a cd, sit quietly and give yourself 15 minutes of your time in a day. Be patient with the process as frustrations will rise within and this will be the challenge given to us en masse. Listen to how compassionate and loving you are towards yourself, what your self-talk is and notice what you are projecting towards yourself and how that is affecting those around you. This is a powerful process and it can be confronting to hear how our ego thinks.
Quieten the mind, quieten the planet. Quieten the planet and hear her breathe, allow the oxygen of love and light to unite. WORKING WITH THE BODY There has been a lot of emphasis on our physical state, through conscious eating and physical activities. We are being asked to look at this from a different perspective. If you clear the physical body of lower vibrations you will find your health and appearance will dramatically change. Now that you have been working on clarity of the mind, take your mind deep inside your physical body to find where it is you have stored your anger. Sit quietly and invite the power of three Archangels, Michael of the Light, Lord Metatron of the Light and Archangel Raziel of the light to join you as you navigate your mind through your internal being. Once you have connected with the source of your anger give the power of three permission to work with you in clearing the emotions and dealing with that source; and the events, not only from the physical being on all levels, but from all lifetimes lived and from all dimensions. Clear your channel, find forgiveness within, allow the high vibrations of love to flow, have faith in the light and allow the enchantment of life to surround you. WORKING WITH THE SPIRIT The spirit is always with you and we are never alone, the question for you is how your relationship with your own spirit is. What is your truth? This month you are being asked to keep an hon-
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
est diary of your truths. Imagine your pen is a sword and allow the warrior within to be 100% honest with you. Truth and honesty is freedom, it has the power to release your spirit from the illusion of self-imposed imprisonment. Cut as deeply as possible through your layers of consciousness, release those self-limiting beliefs and bring your dreams into reality. Let your imagination run free and begin to create your dreams. Set your intentions and take action where it is needed and ask the power of three to help. ‘Power of three, set me free, allow the magic of the universe to be with me.’ As a collective consciousness this process of raising our vibrations will wash through the masses like a wave. Be open to the changes around you, be open to receive, find balance within your own energies and trust in yourself. Congratulations! You have united your mind, body, and spirit, raised your vibrations and the vibrations of those around you and we give thanks. We would love to hear about your experience and the positive effects it has had on you, your family, friends and community. Take a photo of yourself before you begin this cleansing process and then compare it with one taken three months later. Please feel free to send in your photos along with your story of transformation. With Blessing of Love and Light Marisa Moore & the power of 3
Marisa Moore is an Angel intuitive who works closely with the Angelic Realm of light. She has developed workshops teaching others how to unleash the natural healer within. She is an advocate for the light and works from several locations around Melbourne performing energy work and readings. Marisa’s love of travel sees her sharing spiritual experiences around the world on one of her many retreats. You can contact Marisa via the details below: Mob: 0430 865 682 Website: www.marisawithoneness.com Or like her on Facebook | Follow me on Twitter
POSITIVE HIGHLIGHTS On the 5th December, Petros and I were invited to the Positive Connect App Launch Party. It was quite an experienceand I still remember when Petros told me how this 20 year-old has a dreamand she is preparing a party to launch her app. We were both excited and surprised, because most 20 year-olds out there partying and figuring out what they really want in life. Renee Wilton, on the other hand, was different. She has a very distinguishing mindset, one that wishes to change the world and make it a much better place for others. Not only is she a very determined young lady, she isalso very loving, caring and generous. As you can see in the photo below, we have managed to grab a hold of this very wanted and busy lady for a photo shoot, plus a very quick interview afterwards. So Renee, tell us about you, what you do and what inspired you to do this? I am a 20 year-old entrepreneur with a mission to make a positive impact in our world. As the Founder of Positive Connect and Dreams Become
Reality Coaching, I help people with self-confidence, clarity in their dreams, accountability, resume and interview skills, family systems work, beliefs etc.
I started this business at age 18 and I am continually inspired by the questionand invite you to ask yourself: ‘If money were no object, what would you do?” For me, I would spread positive energy to all. I love the feeling of joyand want others to have that feeling more often. To feel free by truly expressing who they are. I do this in many ways, including giving away free packaged chocolates and dancing in the streets. I also do a lot of fundraising. I want to ensure that I spend my life on what truly matters: Fun, connection with all, protecting the environment, helping peopleand spreading joy and love. What inspired you to create the App? We hear so much negativity in today’s society, so I wanted to shine the light on all things positive, because there
is so much goodness happening in our world today. Let’s acknowledge thatand spread more joy to each other through technology. In 2013, I started sending out Free Daily Inspirational Messages to people all around Australia, giving prizes away too. I loved the positive feedback I received from the recipients and I love interacting with them and knowing how their days are impacted by the texts. I then was featured in the Global Inspiration Book: “The Inspiration Bible.” Click Here for all the info about the book
It’s a great book, featuring 365 people from all over the world, each sharing a brief message of inspiration. By being in this book, I realized that I should think big. Seeing as this is a global book, I then thought I should make my inspirational messages globaland what better way than to create an app? One of the contributors from the book was an App developer and website designer, so we started
talking and there it was: Positive Connect App came to life. It will be officially launched in early 2015.
the event, I was told that the App wouldn’t be ready in time for the party and that I should postpone it.
even with large companies. Sometimes in life things happenand all we can do is keep moving forward.
What is Positive Connect? The App promotes positivity, inspiration, healthand mental wellbeing. The community will be able to connect through positive-only comments, also. Positive Connect App provides collections of quotes, videos, music, insights, reflection, prizesand more to a global communityand will be available for only 99cents. Whether you are feeling down or on top of the world, this app is for you!
This was due to personal issues with the developer (which has now been worked out)
It’s fair to say that I learned so, so much about business that dayand instead of blaming the app developer for not having it ready in time, I asked myself ‘what could I have done better?’ There are a few things that I’ve have learned for sure, but the thing is that I don’t feel any resentment, I just feel that’s ok, it’s happened, what’s the solution and how do I move forward?’
You can see the video that explains it, at www.positiveconnectapp.com
I called my friend Jack, who challenges and supports me when I talk to him. I suggest having a good friend you can go to, whom you know that what they say will inspire you to keep moving forward.
What was the Positive Connect Party all about? Positive Connect App Pre Launch Party was all about bringing people together in a fun, positive way. I think it’s important to connect in a positive way using technologyand also through offline connection, so this event was an example of that as well as encouraging the attendees to express themselves, connect with othersand to share their message with the world. The Party had free champagne on arrival, free gifts, dancing, a photo wall, The Connection Experience presented by Renee Wilton, food, a cake with my quote on it, prizes and so much more. There were even nearly five thousand dollars’ worth of free gifts and prizes given away on the night. The event, which was held in Richmond, Melbourne, was also a fundraiser for The Reach Foundation, a not-for-profit organisation established by Jim Stynes and Paul Currie to help young people meet life’s challengesand fulfil their potential. What was your biggest challenge and how did you overcome it? About a couple of weeks before
I was devastated, an App launch party with only one thing missing: The App. I remember crying and my body feeling very tense and stressed. If I postponed the party, I would lose hundreds of dollars. If I had it, it would be so embarrassing not to have the App ready in time.
With the event just around the corner, it had also been talked about on a popular Radio Station in Melbourne. I just couldn’t postpone it tickets were sold and everything was planned. I decided to just keep moving forward, I felt that if I cancelled, it would lead to more problemsand I wanted so much to put something into action; it had to go ahead. So I changed it to a Pre-Launch Partyand sent out an email to all of the attendee’s, just being raw, real and honest about what the situation was. I was so blessed to receive a few replies of support, one from someone I hadn’t even met yet. It was embarrassing to send out that email, because I felt as if I had let my brand down. I knew that all I could do was to just realize that it couldn’t be changed, so I had to move on. There was nothing that could be done, and the App was still coming out. I also realized in talking with a few people that app delays and technology delays were quite common,
The Party went on and it was a great success. I was on cloud 9. Saying that, I am still experiencing the challenge of the app not being ready in time, but it will definitely be launched in early 2015. There are some exciting things that will be planned in Melbourne to celebrate the official launch with the public, so stay tuned! How can I be featured on the App? I believe that each individual has gone through many experiences and are deserving of creating their own quoteand you don’t have to be a leader of some sort to do so; we all have something great to share. What’s your message for the world? Do you have something funny, uplifting, unique, inspiring, or positive to share? If you have an original quote, video, music video, or life insight, then I want to know about it. Send it to: Renee@positiveconnectapp.com and we’ll be able to discuss it further! More information at: www.positiveconnectapp.com Be the first to know about the launch of: Positive Connect App. Instagram: renee_wilton Twitter: @pos_con_app Facebook.com/pcapp3
Our Thanks To… Everyone who has taken the time to contribute their inspiring stories to us, your honesty, positivity and message touched us in everyway. We would also like to thank the experts who have contributed to the magazine with their professional advice and will work hard to spread your message across the globe. Last but not least, we would like to thank our readers for making this magazine a reality. Your ongoing patience and anticipation has helped motivate us to the finishing line.
May You All… DANCE… as though no one is watching you. LOVE… as though you have never been hurt before. SING… as though no one can hear you. LIVE… as though heaven is on Earth. ~Souza
OUR CONTRIBUTORS...
STORIES CONTRIBUTORS Nikki Galagher http://www.nikkig.me Gareth Stubbs http://www.insideoutretreat.com Barbara Archer http://FromInsanitytoSane.com SaraSwati Shakti http://www.lovingpsyche.com Bec McCallcum http://www.becmccallum.com Patty Kapua http://www.InnerSparkSystems.com Leo Eliades http://www.nspirenow.com.au
ARTICLE CONTRIBUTORS Dr Aileen Alegado http://www.draileenalegado.com Nerissa Bentkey http://www.writetothepointcommunications.com Marina Bakker http://www.modernlovesolutions.com Marisa Moore http://www.marisawithonesness.com
Sometimes you gotta fall before you
FLY!
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