Idaho family 2 2016

IDAHO

FREE

FEBRUARY 2016

MAGAZINE

CRUNCH

Time

College audition season

MEMORABLE

Valentine

‘Old-fashioned’ mix tape

DISPELLING

Dad Myths Some fatherhood facts

ARCHER

Sierrah Kile

WINTER

Fun Moms included

A self-motivated teen

Josie, age 7, skis the “spine” at Tamarack Resort in December; she has been skiing since age 3 Want your child’s photo on next month’s cover?

Check inside for details!

IDAHO

Contents February 2016

MAGAZINE

Features Columns Crunch time: College tryouts

4

10

Ang’s Antics: Grief’s lessons

20 moMENts:

Kitchen scents

Departments Mix tape:

6

Winter fun:

7

A memorable valentine

Includes mothers

Dad myths:

Fatherhood re-examined

168 hours:

One week to use well

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8

Crafts on A Dime: Heart crafts

18

Social Skills: Valentine history & etiquette

3

Editor’s Intro Family pets

12-17

Teen archer

22

Publisher Sterling Media Ltd. Editor Gaye Bunderson gayeb@sterlingmedialtd.com 208-639-8301 Sales & Marketing Melva Bade melvab@sterlingmedialtd.com 208-631-3779 Graphic Design Denice King Contributors Brad Carlson, Susan Evans, Angela Hayes, Patrick Hempfing, Genny Heikka, Robert Rhodes, Diane Louise Smith, Samantha Stillman and Mary Ann Wilcox

In Each Edition

Sierrah Kile:

Volume 4, Number 2

Family Events Calendar: Family friendly activities & events for February & early March!

February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

Distribution Specialists Idaho Distribution Services

Idaho Family Magazine, published monthly

by Sterling Media Ltd., is committed to providing readers with informative and entertaining information to help them in maintaining healthy families and positive lifestyles. It is distributed throughout the valley as a free publication. Idaho Family Magazine does not assume responsibility for statements or opinions expressed by editorial contributors or advertisers. The acceptance of advertising does not constitute an endorsement of the products, services or information. Idaho Family Magazine does not knowingly present any product or service which is fraudulent or misleading in nature. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without express written consent of the publisher.

Reader correspondence and editorial submissions are welcome. Idaho Family Magazine reserves the right to edit or reject all materials submitted. All rights reserved. Copyright 2016 by Sterling Media Ltd.

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EDITOR’S Intro

Every family has its pet stories

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I’ve known few families that didn’t at some point or other have an animal or two in the house. According to statistics compiled by the American Pet Products Association, 70-80 million dogs and 74-96 million cats are owned in the U.S. Statistics also indicate that pets have positive influences on their human companions. Over the years as I was growing up, and even more recently, my family enjoyed the partnership of a variety of pets. Such as: • Clancy – A boxer I don’t recall much about because I was too young, but my mother says he kept me from crawling through the fence in the yard and running off to who knows where. He would bark to get someone’s attention and then bite my clothes with his teeth and pull me back into the yard.

• Murphy – A Lab mix, she was house-trained by my dad the old-fashioned way: by having her nose rubbed in the mess and then put outside. But she was the most loyal dog in the world. She was once bitten on the nose by a rattlesnake. Her face swelled up, but she survived.

• Molly – An Irish setter who didn’t like having her hair trimmed; she would literally take off and run down the road.

• Freeway – My sister’s dog and our official family mascot for a while. He was a cute little cocker spaniel mix that was given to my sister as a Christmas gift by her friends. He was a rescue shelter dog and already had the offbeat, road-related name when my sister got him. Our grandmother sometimes mistakenly referred to him as Highway.

• Buffy and Arson – Two Siamese cats — one laid back and chilled and the other skittish and high-strung.

• Spider – An awful name, for sure, but a very likable cat. Like a lot of cats, she loved to get in your lap when you sat down and sleep on your head when you went to bed.

• Squeaker – Found in an irrigation pipe as a small kitten, my mom and sister saved his life. My dad, who at the time was working in Nevada and commuting to Idaho every weekend, found a male buddy in an otherwise all-female household. Squeaker made the long, boring 6-hour car trip back and forth from Nevada to Idaho each weekend with my dad.

• Buttons – My mother’s long-time companion — 22 years, to be precise. TLC kept that cat alive much longer than might have been expected.

• Molly B – My sister’s horse. My mother once rode Molly B to herd cattle; the horse reared up and fell backwards on top of Mom. Mom was seriously injured and busted up in a few places, limiting her mobility for quite some time.

• Jade – Molly B’s colt. He lived to be pretty old, until finally he had to be taken away in the back of a truck.

My poor mother, who years earlier was the only family member present when Clancy was taken away to be put down, was also the only person present when Jade was loaded into the back of the truck that took him away. …

Let’s just say Mom was not happy.

• Hamster – One of the most boring pets in the world, I can’t even remember its name. It just ran round and round on a wheel.

• Sagebrush – A turtle the size of baseball mitt, it unfortunately froze in cold weather. We lived in a small Nevada town, elevation 6,437 feet, and we had miserable winters there. Guess we shouldn’t have left the turtle outside, thinking it would huddle in its shell and stay toasty.

• Kimberly – A lamb. She was found wandering alone in the Nevada countryside. My parents put her in the backseat of the car with us kids and she was driven from Nevada to my grandparents’ Idaho ranch, where she became enamored of my grandmother. She followed Grandma around like they were BFFs. • The ewe – I’m not sure we ever named her, but she was abandoned by sheepherders because she was crippled. Left to die, she nonetheless managed to crawl onto my parents’ ranch and get inside the barn there.

She later gave birth to a lamb that we named Euclid, for some reason.

• CJ, or Charlie Jr. – This was a steer that was the offspring of a bull, Charlie Sr. He got very big, but we’d tie a rope around his neck and take him into the fields with us. One time, he decided he’d rather be somewhere else and took off running while I was holding the rope.

He was fast, and I had to let go of the rope before I was dragged off to who knows where.

Happy pet ownership, Idahoans. n Gaye Bunderson, Editor

Children’s Sports Photos Wanted Idaho Family Magazine would love to put your child on our cover. We are currently looking for photos of families or children engaged in sports. All photos should be high quality, sharp and clear, and high resolution of around 300 dpi. Color photos are preferred, and all photos need to be vertical, not horizontal. Please identify the people in the photos. Send the photographs to gayeb@sterlingmedialtd.com.

On the Cover:

Josie, age 7, skis the “spine” at Tamarack Resort in December; she has been skiing since age 3

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Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016

COLLEGE tryouts

Audition season tests the best

On snare drums, sometimes topped with noise-dampening pads, players work on everything from rudimentary strokes to detailed marching or concert solos. Shown here from left are students Mark Downs, Livi Johnson, Marissa Simpson, and instructor Pat Flaherty. (Photo by Brad Carlson)

By Brad Carlson With sheet music in hand and upcoming challenges in mind, Boise High School senior musician Marissa Simpson entered a percussion lesson studio in mid-January to continue the long process she hopes results in a college music program accepting her and perhaps offering a scholarship.

She resumed work on the repertoire she plans to perform, and kept getting ready to play other material on demand, at her upcoming Boise State University marching and concert bands audition.

“In a few weeks, by the time it comes around, I will be ready for it,” Simpson said.

Auditions test every aspect of a performing artist’s preparation and background, sometimes causing anxiety but always providing valuable learning experiences. Timing varies for K12 students trying out for school and regional honor groups as well as for adults participating in community ensembles.

But for many aspiring college performers, crunch time comes in January and February when most colleges and universities formally evaluate incoming talent.

Simpson studies with Pat Flaherty, a retired National Guard band director who also performed in the Boise Philharmonic and a Drum Corps International field band. Flaherty, whose studio is in southeast Meridian, has taught percussion for more than 35 years.

By mid-January, preparations for college auditions have been going on for six months or longer, Flaherty said.

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February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

“Then it’s a matter of how much you can polish it, and also be prepared to sight-read and do basic patterns,” he said.

“Every school sort of has a different list of what they want you to do.” He recommends students talk to faculty before auditioning, ideally after being referred by a teacher.

Audition faculty look for solid technique and skills, not just the ability to play challenging music the student prepared, Flaherty said. Abilities to learn music, “clean” it for performance and play artistically are among other keys to success.

“You can’t just learn a bunch of music and come in and play it,” he said. “If you don’t have the technique to back it up, they will find you out.”

Dave Johnson, Boise Philharmonic principal violist, is Langroise Fellow and Langroise Trio member at The College of Idaho in Caldwell. He has played in orchestra and chamber groups in the U.S. and internationally. He has directed high school orchestras, taught studio lessons and judged auditions at various levels.

“At this point, the student has talent. Some have natural talent, but all have cultivated talent,” he said.

But as high school students target state and regional honor orchestras and head into college auditions, “they can be unaware of what is needed,” Johnson said. “It can be a rude awakening.”

For example, selection panels for all-Idaho high school honor groups evaluate recordings of students playing. But the best players don’t always make the best recordings, he said.

If a student does not sound good, or the recording has some other problem, he or she may be left out.

Johnson recommends working with a teacher who is encouraging but realistic. “Not one who always makes you feel good, but one who will prepare you properly and who knows what is important to progress in your playing,” he said. This helps the student show in the audition that he or she is prepared, and may reduce nervousness.

“It’s a matter of really knowing the material, and knowing how to handle or deal with nerves,” he said. Frequently taking opportunities to perform live also helps. “Learn from those experiences. … Know yourself; know what might happen and how you will deal with what might happen.”

When parents attend music lessons and performances, they’re better able to detect if the student is staying on track and if something sounds like it needs teacher attention, said Johnson, himself the parent of three classical string instrument players. Parents also can help as the audition nears — making sure equipment, sheet music and attire are in order, and breaking down the schedule. The parent can provide encouragement, “quiet time” or even snacks based on whether the student performs at a specific time, waits in line or is taken to a pre-performance warm-up room.

For dance students, the process is less individualized to start.

They audition for summer programs or college acceptance by participating in a group class of about 90 minutes. Here, the director and staff assess dancers’ abilities and overall approach, including whether they fit the program well and are receptive to correction. For summer programs, an acceptance decision usually comes immediately. A college audition may have additional requirements; a student may be asked to present a dance solo, improvise or show versatility.

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Also in Flaherty’s studio is BHS junior Livi Johnson, who leads the snare drum section in the marching band. Johnson hasn’t jumped into formal audition-prep mode yet. But she plans to do some auditions, like for ensembles at school or in the community.

“There is a lot of work involved with it, and for me a big part is experience — preparing music and performing,” Johnson said.

Flaherty recommends over-preparing before an audition, and following up with the judge or panel afterward. General percussion auditions typically cover the full range of percussion instruments and music styles.

Downs, in his graduate-school auditions, will bring experience from constantly performing during his undergraduate years at BSU and an earlier 14 years of piano instruction.

Nervousness hasn’t been much of a problem in his auditions, and, if present, settles once he starts playing. “If you are prepared, the nerves won’t overcome you,” he said.

He can expect auditions to intensify as he moves through graduate school and into professional performance. Flaherty said professional auditions are “brutal … like a battle.”

On Boise’s community theater scene, Steve Martin has performed in more than 50 plays as a volunteer since 1998.

Many times, he has read lines for a couple of parts only to be selected for one he didn’t read for. Directors may see that other role as a good fit, he said, and getting to know directors over time may lead to opportunities in future plays. n Brad Carlson is a Treasure Valley freelance writer.

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One job for dance instructors like Cathy Giese, co-director of the Eagle Performing Arts Center ballet studio in Eagle, is to direct the student to a program that fits him or her.

“Programs may be looking for dancers with specific aptitudes and suitability,” Giese said. Some may focus on classical ballet, others on contemporary dance, so it’s important to find a program that will “best enhance their training and give them broader exposure. Knowing the student and the programs is important.”

Dance instructors make sure their students are prepared for auditions and have realistic expectations.

“Going to an audition is good experience and is a skill to be practiced,” Giese said. “And with more practice, you get better at it. But don’t build up your expectations too high; it’s just one audition.”

Back at the Flaherty’s Drum Lessons studio, Flaherty makes sure Simpson is correctly assuming a popular four-mallet grip for vibraphone. (In the keyboard percussion family that includes the xylophone, it’s the one with the piano-like sustain pedal.) Looking on is Eric Downs, who graduated from BSU in percussion performance in May 2014 and is preparing to audition at a handful of universities’ graduate programs in that major.

They talk about common requirements and occurrences in auditions — most people go in under-prepared, Downs said — and some challenges Simpson would face at BSU, including transitioning from high school drum major to on-field drumline member, and putting instruction into action as a left-hander.

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Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016

MIX tape valentine

Obscure song makes for meaningful gift

The first song that floated from the cassette

By Diane Louise Smith As each St. Valentine’s Day approaches, my through the speakers was “Diane” by The husband asks me what present I want. As I Bachelors. I asked him how he was able to ponder this question, I am always reminded of find this song, since it wasn’t modern and a bit one of the best presents I received from him. on the obscure side. He told me he had called During our first date, which was over 20 the “oldies” radio station, The Jewel, in the years ago, the conversation turned to how area where we lived at the time. When he told our parents came up with our names. This the DJ the name of the song, the DJ respondvein of questioning had a friendly “getting to ed that he had never heard of it. My future know you” feel to it. He had mentioned he husband, risking his own dignity, sang the lyrwas named after his father’s friend, a fellow ics in an attempt to jog the DJ’s memory.

Marine who had died in combat. I sheepishly After this impromptu performance, the DJ shared that my name wasn’t as poignant as the said he would have to go to the archives, so history behind his name. keep listening to the program. After a couple My parents had come from a longstanding tradition of naming children after relatives.

Diane Louise Smith of hours of listening to songs by Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole, the harmonizing BachWhen I was born, it appeared that they wanted to make a change. I was not named after a family member elors started to croon in a crescendo a capella stanzas of “Dibut after a song my parents both liked. My now-husband and ane.” Now, he was able to record the song he had patiently then-date had never heard of a song titled “Diane,” so I sang, waited for on the cassette tape. or rather warbled, a few of the lyrics. A couple dates later he As I thanked him, I said he didn’t have to go through all surprised me with a mix tape, a cassette tape with recorded of that trouble, to which he replied he songs. He said the songs on the didn’t mind at all, it was for me. cassette reminded him of To this day, I still have the mix tape, me. (Awww!!) We were in and even though we don’t have a casmy car, and I popped in sette player, I will never part with it. the tape, curious to hear To me, this present ranks as the most what songs he had chosen. romantic and thoughtful I have A brief musical history ever received. n lesson: in those days, there was no YouTube, Pandora Diane Louise Smith has been married for or Spotify that one could over 20 years and is a mom and bonus mom search for a particular song. to three sons. She is a published author of If you wanted to hear a favorite song, you had to “Eye of Leomander” and a columnist either hope the radio station for the Middleton Gazette. Her blog is would play it or call into the www.writingsbydiane.blogspot.com. radio station and request it.

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February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

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ADVANCE preparation

Winter fun for everyone including mom

By Mary Ann Wilcox Planning and carrying out winter activities with your family can present a few challenges. Just getting ready to leave can be so stressful that we often bail out on our plans before we even get in the car. I’ve found that a little advance preparation before the season even begins can make those activities more fun for everyone, including mom. When I was raising kids, I didn’t want to be the pack-mule or work horse the whole time. I wanted to have fun, too. I discovered a way to organize myself so that preparing, planning, and cleaning up family activities became a cinch.

Hungry tummies: Nothing spoils a fun family outing faster than hungry tummies. Whether it’s a day at the ski hill, sledding at a neighborhood park, or building snow caves or snowmen in the backyard, when hunger strikes a mom has to be ready.

I have found the best way to address hunger is to have a “picnic cooler” that always has the essentials packed and ready to go. Shelf-safe snacks like instant soup and crackers, beverage packets like hot chocolate or apple cider, and even things like peanut butter and jam, granola bars or fruit snacks work great. That way, when it’s time to go, you just throw in a loaf of bread and you are out the door.

Equipment: A few items from your camping gear can really do double duty during the winter months. A single burner propane stove, or a hot pot that plugs into your auxiliary power supply are inexpensive ways to heat water when you are on the go. They run between $15 and $40 and can be used year round. A 2- to 5-gallon water jug makes a great water source when venturing to rural areas and makes keeping hydrated easy. And don’t forget the sand toys — they are a source of fun in the snow or the sand.

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The most versatile all-weather piece of equipment is a roll of black 36-gallon cinch sacks. They will fit in your cooler with your other equipment and be ready to use for a variety of activities and weather conditions. Such as: • Jacket: By cutting holes for your arms and head to fit through the bottom, you have a waterproof jacket.

• Jumper: By cutting leg holes in the bottom of the sack and slipping the cinch straps over your shoulders, you have an all-weather jumper that you can use to sled on your bottom on snow or wet grass.

• Sled: By sitting in the sack with the straps cinched around your waist you have a sled.

Clothing: An adventure backpack is the key to always having the clothing you need. You could also use a small duffle bag. In the winter you could include snow pants, waterproof mittens, light-weight gloves, snow boots, three pairs of warm socks, thermal underwear and long sleeve T-shirt, a sweater or sweatshirt, goggles and a change of underwear. In the summer a swimsuit, towel, sunglasses, goggles, water shoes, swim shirt, rain poncho, sweatshirt, sweat pants and a change of underwear.

Switch them out as the season approaches. When it is time to go on an adventure, just grab your backpack and jacket and you’re on your way.

At Mary Ann’s Cupboards we have a number of classes starting before spring break to help you have a fun, stress-free summer that will prepare you for all weather activities: Camping Made Easy, Cooking From Your Car, Adventures in Boise, Adventures at Home, Backyard Adventures, and Prepare for Family Fun. To register, visit MaryAnnsCupboards.com. n

Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016

CRAFTS On A Dime

Heart crafts for that ‘something special’

By Samantha Stillman As a mom, I try to make each holiday special. We exchange gifts, cards and blow up lots of balloons before our little guy wakes so that he can wake to something special. Valentine’s Day can be thought of as cheesy by some, but I just love it! Here are a few heart crafts to make to decorate your space or embellish your cards and gifts. Enjoy! Picture 11 n

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Samantha Stillman is a Treasure Valley crafts instructor and freelance writer. She may be reached at craftsonadime10@gmail.com.

Supplies needed: Picture 1

Paper Scissors/paper cutter Template:

http://jessicajonesdesign.com/ downloads/hearts.pdf

Stapler Tape Glue stick

Samantha Stillman

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Instructions:

• Pop up hearts: I printed the template onto some colored paper. Cut the template out and be sure to cut down the crease line. Roll back the edges of the cut at the crease and either staple or glue the inside of the crease. This is what makes it pop out and look 3D. Pictures 2 and 3 • Heart garland: Cut 12 inch strips of paper. Fold in half to make a crease and staple near the edge of the fold. Bring the two free edges down to form a heart and staple them together. Fold a second strip and staple it to the bottom of the heart. Then fold the two free edges down again to make the second heart. You repeat these steps for as many hearts as you want to make the length of garland you want. Pictures 4, 5, 6 and 7 • 3-layer heart: Cut three strips of paper, one at 12 inches, one at 10 inches, and one at 8 inches. It’s the same process as the heart garland, but you place all three folded strip creases together with the smallest on the outside and the largest on the inside. Staple the crease and then one by one bring the free edges down to form hearts. Pictures 8, 9 and 10

February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

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RETHINKING dads

Examining four myths about fathers

By Robert Rhodes Recently, my wife and I were sitting at a small 1950’s type burger stand about an hour from Boise. We were sitting next to a table of three — a dad and his two sons. We sat next to them for about 30 minutes before they piled into their truck and left. Instantly my wife and I looked at each other in amazement. For the entire 30 minutes, the three did not speak a single word to each other. Not one!

I was stumped until I reRobert Rhodes flected back to my childhood and my relationship with my dad. I remember long hours spent fishing in a boat together with very little communication between us. Or the hours we sat in a goose blind enjoying the hunt in silence. I reminded myself that those were some of my best memories of my childhood. The entire experience yesterday led me to once again ponder the importance of dads and some of the myths that prevail to this day about them.

Myth 1: There is only one definition of a “good father.”

Today as the notion of “family” is ever-changing and the roles of each parent continue to evolve, the definition of a “good father” has many meanings. We now have an ever-increasing number of fathers staying home with their children.

We continue to have a preponderance of men who define their role as chief (financial) provider to their family. We also have everything in between as mothers remain in the work world or dads begin to assume a more hands-on role with the children. In summary, a dad will craft his role in a way that meets his needs and the needs of his family. And that is OK.

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Myth 2: Dads do not make a difference.

Much has been written about dads and the benefits inherent in their involvement in childrearing. Some of the conclusions from research over the past 15 years are eye-opening. Children do better academically and are 43 percent more likely to earn mostly A’s on their report cards. Toddlers have a higher IQ by age 3 and are more prepared to start school. Boys have been found to be less aggressive, impulsive and more self-directed.

Teen pregnancy rates fall with a father’s presence in the family, and children are overall more likely to have close friends, successful marriages and contentment in adulthood.

Parents also serve as role models in terms of how they relate to each other. In terms of relationship skills, the latter is critical for children as they seek to create healthy relationships of their own.

Myth 3: Moms are better than dads at childrearing.

I remember my sister’s ambivalence about whether to go back East to help my parents when my mom had her knee replaced. My sister’s worries centered around what (or if) her husband would feed their children; whether he would be vigilant about homework; and whether he would get them to bed on time. Her concerns now make more sense to me since she had been responsible for all of those tasks.

Well, my sister eventually did go and the children survived.

It turns out her husband did struggle as he attempted to master a very steep learning curve, one that my sister had mastered years before. According to Adrienne Burgess of the Fatherhood Institute, the research now reports that parenting is a “learn as you go” skill much like starting a new job. When men and women are able to spend the same amount of time looking after babies, and are given the same support, they develop skills at the same rate.

Continued on page 11

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Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016

ANG’S Antics

Don’t wallow in grief, learn from it

Your pain has a purpose, whether it be to learn from your loss or to perhaps help othGrief: Keen mental suffering or distress over affliction ers along their own journey with their own or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. grief. Use this time to help others.

Realize you may never know the answer Thanksgiving and Christmas are behind to “why.” Your healing can begin much us and now Valentine’s Day is near. I know sooner if you let go of the “why me” holidays can be very challenging for anyone and instead learn to embrace your pain dealing with grief or heartache in their lives. as something far greater in your journey, It’s quite painful to celebrate when your something that in the end may soothe the heart is full of so much sorrow. grief of another.

I have known people in my life who have There will certainly be low times in your suffered greatly, dealt with much grief. grief; we all will experience that terrible These individuals have continued to suffer, time.

But once you’ve pushed through and although their grief is tremendous, have Angela Hayes your pain, hang onto the lessons you have not allowed themselves to do what seems unlearned and don’t be afraid to share with thinkable to them — move past their grief. those around you; they may need your support and unIt’s as if the dark cloud is hanging over their heads day and derstanding. night.

But what good could possibly come from grieving, you Their grief may have been caused by losing a pet or discovering their spouse has been unfaithful; they may have ask? So much! I choose to make the effort to not sit back lost a child, gone through a divorce, lost a parent, had their and have a dark cloud, also known as grief, looming over dreams and aspirations not turn out the way they desired, my head daily. I want to realize the pain that has been or even learned a terminal diagnosis will change everyplaced on my plate is for a purpose: to teach others, to thing. love more fully, to know my journey is not at all about the Every one of my examples is a reason to have grief, but I final destination, but rather, the road to getting there. pose the question: is one circumstance of tragedy greater We will all experience this big thing called grief in our than the other? lives, if we haven’t already. Let’s use our suffering to I lost my mother four years ago. I have suffered ample teach others, including ourselves, and show them how to amounts of mourning and I continue to do so daily. My live out the rest of our lives with a much more meaningneighbor lost her beloved pet of 14 years; she suffers ful purpose through teaching, sharing, loving, and learngreatly as well. Or how about my friend who lost her husband to suicide or a family I know who lost their toddler to ing.

Remember you are never alone. Although my friend a tragic drowning? These are all real examples of grief. No has lost her spouse, I can help carry her through the rest one example is greater than the other. Why? How? Losing of her journey by allowing her to see the good all around a child is far greater than losing a spouse, let alone a pet, her, that her children are the shining light every day. My right? husband helps me see the pain from my mom’s death as a I went through a divorce many years ago. Wouldn’t you assume my children grieve for the normalcy of their “real” guide for me to love more fully and seize every day rather than wallow in my sadness. parents? My husband lost a dear friend two years ago to complications of back surgery. He grieves daily because he Yes, it’s tough to go through this temporary life without can no longer pick up that phone to hear his friend’s voice. the perfectly painted picture we have designed for our These are all fine examples of grief, so why do we tend lives, but we must realize life doesn’t work that way. There to categorize the grief ? Why isn’t grief allowed to just be are seasons in life where some paintings will be mastergrief without ranking how much worse one person’s depieces while others may be really bad art. Despite what spair is over another’s? your canvas may look like at this very moment — riddled Instead, maybe we could take our sadness and learn a few with grief, sadness or despair — celebrate and revel in things from it, and along the way, teach others what we’ve knowing you are capable of re-creating that masterpiece, learned. you are the Picasso of your life, dear reader; you hold Losing my mother taught me life isn’t fair, and that’s okay. the brush to your days ahead. But…some of you, myself It taught me that being a good person is not insurance included, may need some serious art lessons. n from bad things happening. Even healthy people can get sick, sometimes too sick to fix. Her death taught me to let my heart crack open, but know that it will heal, eventually. Angela Hayes lives in Eagle and is a mom to five challenging and difficult kids whom she really does love and a wife to one lucky man who And her death also taught me to search for that light in misplaces everything. She works as a dental assistant for Blair Pediatric moments where it seems as if only darkness can be found.

Dentistry...as if being around her own kids every day isn’t enough. FolIf you’re reading this and you are suffering from your low her family’s adventures at: Thehayesfamily6.blogspot.com. own grief, remember a few things:

By Angela Hayes

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Myths

Continued from page 9

Myth 4: Dads do not form special bonds with children.

Historically our culture assigned relationship-work to women and the task of providing for the family to men. In the 1950’s, dads were not allowed in the delivery room and mothers were responsible for up to 90 percent of all childrearing. Dads were generally described as disconnected and disinterested. Yet we now know that dads do form bonds with their children.

Kyle Pruett, the author of “Fatherneed,” found an undeniable link between fathers and babies beginning at birth. Infants can differentiate between a mother’s and father’s voice at 6 weeks old; at 8 weeks, babies can distinguish between their mother’s and father’s caretaking methods; toddlers are especially fascinated by their fathers and will seek them out even when not present, and a dad’s heart races as fast as a mom’s when a baby screams.

Finally, dads undergo hormonal changes prior to the birth of a baby.

Specifically, the level of the stress hormone called cortisol spikes, placing the father’s brain on alert and thereby helping prepare for the baby’s arrival.

As I think back on the enormous contributions both my parents brought to my own childrearing, I want to recognize their diverse approaches and celebrate their differences. I see now how they were not only effective, but also vital to raising healthy and successful children. And as for the father and sons at the burger stand, I am left feeling how fortunate those two kids were to have shared a meal in silence with their dad. n Robert Rhodes has a master of social work from the University of California, Berkeley.

He obtained his license as a clinical social worker in 1989. Since then he has worked in multiple settings with children and adolescents. He has been in private practice for the past 16 years. He may be reached at rrhodes.lcsw@gmail.com, (208) 9008500, or boiseteencounseling.com. www.idahofamilymagazine.com

Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016 11

IDAHO

MAGAZINE

Black History Month

CALENDAR

Month of February

February is Black History Month. Go to your local public library and look for titles such as: “Milestones in Black American History: Forever Free” by Christopher E. Henry; “Witnesses to Freedom: Young People Who Fought for Civil Rights” by Belinda Rochelle; “Profiles: Black Civil Rights Champions” by Kimberly Hayes Taylor; and “An Eyewitness History of the Civil Rights Movement” by Sanford Wexler.

Or, look into visiting the Idaho Black History Museum in Julia Davis Park in Boise. For hours and other information about the museum, go to ibhm.org.

Preschool Open Gym Tuesdays & Thursdays

Preschoolers may play with balls, gym scooters, and age-appropriate gym equipment from 9 to 11 a.m. each Tuesday and Thursday at the Fort Boise Community Center gym. Cost is $1 per child.

Science and Engineering Festival 2016 Saturday, February 6

The Boise State College of Engineering, 1375 W. University Dr., will host a Science and Engineering Festival from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Saturday, February 6. This is a free event for people of all ages and will feature more than 75 hands-on activities, demonstrations, and presentations. New this year, astronaut Steve Swanson will speak at 10 a.m. in the Student Union Building on campus. Go to coen.boisestate. edu/STEMExploration.

Cabin Fever Reliever Saturday, February 6

Kids First Cast will host its annual Cabin Fever Reliever on Saturday, February 6, at Karcher Mall in Nampa. There will be many vendors and many activities for families during the free one-day event. Go to kidsfirstcast.org.

Daddy Daughter Date Night 2016

SuperStruct: Some Assembly Required

The current exhibit at the Discovery Center of Idaho, 131 W. Myrtle St. in Boise, features opportunities to build and test simple machines and structures using basic building materials and tools. The exhibit includes a Shake Table, Impact Test Tower, Stress Test, Stacking Challenge, Wind Racers, Gravity Racers, and other challenges. The Discovery Center offers many events and learning experiences for people of all ages. Go to dcidaho.org.

Saturday, February 6

Fathers and their daughters ages 3-12 are invited to attend the 22nd Annual Daddy Daughter Date Night from 7 to 9 p.m.

Saturday, February 6, at Nampa Recreation Center. Go to nampaparksandrecreation.org.

Story Trail

The Jim Hall Foothills Learning Center (Sunset Peak Road in Boise) invites children and their adult guardians to visit its ¼-mile Story Trail, read fun nature-related stories and look for the many foothills plants and animals that live in the area. Each month, a different story is posted on 10 kid-sized reading platforms. The trail is open from sunrise to sunset, seven days a week, and begins in the northwest corner of the parking lot along the split rail fence. The story for February is “Over and Under the Snow” by Kate Messner; the March story will be “A Seed Is Sleepy” by Dianna Hutts Aston. Go to bee. cityofboise.org/foothills.

Service Saturday

Reading at the Refuge

Saturdays February 6 & 27

First & Third Mondays

Preschoolers, kindergartners and their families are invited to Reading at the Refuge every first and third Monday at 10 a.m. and repeating at 2 p.m. at the Deer Flat Wildlife Refuge Visitor Center near Lake Lowell in Nampa. There will be a wildlife-related story, craft-making, and exploring the Visitor Center and trails at the refuge. For more information, go to fws.gov/deerflat, email deerflat@fws.gov or call 467-9278.

Boise Schools Open Gym Weekends Through March 13

From now through March 13, various schools throughout the Boise district will hold open gym weekends for free for youth in K-12.

Interested young people are invited to participate in supervised activities at one of eight schools in the area. For specific times and places each weekend, go to parks.cityofboise.org/activities,-classesand-sports/youth-activities-classes or call 608-7652.

12 February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

Saturday, February 6

Anyone age 12 and up may come to the Cherry Lane branch of the Meridian library for Service Saturday. From 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

February 6, there will be several different projects to help out with.

Volunteer hours qualify for school assignments; you do not need to fill out a volunteer application to attend. Go to mld.org.

Renaissance Festival seeks volunteers The Treasure Valley Renaissance Festival is looking for volunteers for its second annual faire in June. The group is seeking energetic people to help with setting up and teardown, managing faire activities and the front gate booth, and helping provide a Renaissance atmosphere. The group is also holding auditions for anyone wanting to dress up and participate in the festival. Auditions will be held from 1 to 4:30 p.m. February 6 and 27 at 7834 E. Springfield Dr. in Nampa.

Anyone age 16 or older should come prepared with a Renaissance, Medieval or Shakespearian monologue, or be prepared to read one. website: sawtoothrenaissance.com

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of Events

Junior Duck Stamp Art Day February 6, 13, 20 & 27

Young artists and wildlife enthusiasts from kindergarten through high school may drop into the Deer Flat National Wildlife Refuge Visitor Center for Junior Duck Stamp Art Day. Young artists are given the opportunity to create and submit their own masterpieces to the Idaho Junior Duck Stamp art contest.

Interested youth may drop in anytime from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. February 6, 13, 20 and 27 and March 5. They will learn about Idaho waterfowl and create their own art contest entries. All the necessary supplies will be provided, from “how to draw a duck” instructions to pencils and paints. All Idaho students may enter their artwork into the statewide contest and express their knowledge of diversity, interdependence, and the beauty of wildlife. Artwork must be submitted by March 15. For more information or for directions to the Visitor Center, visit fws.gov/deerflat, call 467-9278, or email deerflat@fws.gov.

Board Game Extravaganza Sunday, February 7

Bring the whole family to an afternoon of strategy-building fun from 1 to 4 p.m. Sunday, February 7, at the Cherry Lane branch of the Meridian library.

Many family-friendly board games will be available at this event, held the first and third Sundays of the month. Go to mld.org.

Family Storytime and Craft Night Monday, February 8

Boise Public Library will hold Family Storytime and Craft Night from 7 to 8 p.m. Monday, February 8, in Hayes Auditorium at the library’s main branch. Children and families are invited to the library each Monday evening for storytime fun followed by a craft activity. Go to boisepubliclibrary.org.

Time for Twos Monday, February 8

Turning 2 is an exciting and challenging time for both children and their parents. The Cherry Lane branch of the Meridian library wants to help celebrate the joy of being 2 by providing a place for parents and their 2-year-olds to connect with other parents and children.

There will be a storytime with interactive songs, rhymes and other activities from 10 to 10:30 a.m. Monday, February 8. Go to mld.org.

Teen Lifeguard Training Tuesday, February 9

Classes are held Tuesday and Thursday for three weeks starting Tuesday, February 9, for anyone 16 or older for summer employment as a lifeguard. Class is in the Fort Boise Community Center, 700 Robbins Rd. in Boise; pool time will be at the Boise State Kinesiology Pool. Cost is $85 for Boise residents and $131.20 for non-residents.

Contact Denise Peterson at dmpeterson@cityofboise.org or by calling 608-7683.

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Months of February & Early March Please send family-related calendar items to gayeb@sterlingmedialtd.com.

Library Afterhours Romance Short Film Festival Tuesday, February 9

Doors will open at 6:30 p.m. and the movies will start at 7 on Tuesday, February 9, in the Multipurpose Room at Nampa Public Library. Popcorn and drinks will be provided. Go to nampalibrary.org/calendar.

After School Fun Wednesday, February 10

The Library! at Collister offers an After School Fun program each week for children ages 6-12. Come to the library for activities with Legos, art, science, math and more from 4 to 5 p.m. Wednesday, February 10. (Other library branches hold similar programs. Go to boisepubliclibrary.org.)

DIY Upcycled Valentine Cards Wednesday, February 10

This event for adults will allow them to revisit childhood by creating a handmade valentine for someone using recycled and repurposed materials. Part of the Jim Hall Foothills Learning Center’s Sunset Series, the art project will be held from 7 to 8:30 p.m. Wednesday, February 10, at the center, 3188 Sunset Peak Rd. in Boise. Materials will be provided, but participants may feel free to bring things from home as well. For more information or for directions to the center, go to bee.cityofboise.org/foothills/events/calendar-of-events.

Children’s Gun Safety Class Wednesday, February 10

A free gun safety class for children will be held from 6 to 7:30 p.m.

Wednesday, February 10, at Sportsman’s Warehouse, 16865 N. Marketplace Blvd. in Nampa. Children will be taught four simple safety rules to live by if they find a gun at home that isn’t securely locked in a safe place.

Teen Tech and Games Thursday, February 11

The Library! at Collister hosts a Teen Tech and Games program each week for teens and tweens. Come to the library for 3D printing, computer gaming, robotics, coding and more from 3 to 5 p.m.

Thursday, February 11.

Idaho Theater for Youth presentation Thursday, February 11

Idaho Theater for Youth will present “The Shakespeare Stealer” from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Thursday, February 11, at the main branch of Boise Public Library. Based on the popular young adult novel of the same name, the story follows the adventures of a character named Widge as he attempt to steal the script of “Hamlet” from Shakespeare’s theater, The Globe. It’s a story filled with comedy, drama and derring-do. The performance is recommended for K-6 students. Go to boisepubliclibrary.org for more information.

More Events on Page 14 Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016 13

CALENDAR of Events

Continued from page 13

Lock In for Kids

“Hibernating Hearts”

Kids are invited to enjoy movies, swimming, games and a pizza party from 7 p.m. Friday, February 12, to 9 a.m. Saturday, February 13, at the Nampa Rec Center. A male and female supervisor will be with the children all night. Cost is $20 for members and $25 for non-members.

Go to nampaparksandrecreation.org.

The Second Saturday Series at the Jim Hall Foothills Learning Center on Sunset Peak Road in Boise will feature a free, familyfriendly program titled “Hibernating Hearts.” The event will be held from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday, February 13, and will feature a presentation on Idaho’s winter wildlife, followed by hands-on activities and the creation of a nature valentine. No pre-registration is required.

Go to bee.cityofboise.org/foothills/events/calendar-of-events.

Friday, February 12

Romance in the Garden: A Valentine’s Dinner Friday, February 12

The Boise Art Museum will hold its annual Valentine’s Dinner for people age 21 and over on Friday, February 12. It will be an intimate evening of art, culture, and flavor inspired by the exhibition “Chinese Gardens.” There will be four courses of perfectly paired food, drinks and arts. Cost is $75 for BAM members and $90 for non-members. For time and ticket information, go to boiseartmuseum.org/ bam_event/a-valentines-dinner.

Kids Kayak

Friday, February 12

Kids are welcome to come get wet while playing on kayaks at 7 p.m.

Friday, February 12, at the Nampa Rec Center. Children must be ages 6-14 and be able to pass a swim test. The program is free with Rec Center admission and will be closely supervised by NRC staff. Go to nampaparksandrecreation.org.

Run 4 Luv

Saturday, February 13

This Valentine’s Run/Walk will start with check-in at 9:15 a.m.

Saturday, February 13, at Ann Morrison Park’s Royal Boulevard entrance. Families, couples and singles are all welcome; the event is both runner- and walker-friendly. All participants will get a Valentine’s-themed Run 4 Luv shirt, and there will be “tons of sweet raffle prizes.” The race will feature a half marathon, 10k, and 5k; early packet pickup will be held from 4 to 9 p.m. February 12 at the Hampton Inn in Boise (packet pickup also available on race day at the park). Go to run4luv.com/race-info.

Woo at the Zoo Saturday, February 13

Woo at the Zoo – A Wild Valentine’s Celebration for Adults will be held from 4 to 7 p.m. Saturday, February 13, at Zoo Boise. Open to both singles and sweethearts, this memorable Valentine’s Day event will reveal the intimate secrets of exotic animal mating and dating — from the humorous and tawdry to the passionate and subtle. There will be a pasta dinner, dessert, drinks, photos with your sweetheart, and take-home chocolates. Space is limited. Cost is $40 for Friends of Zoo Boise pass holders and City of Boise residents, and $45 for nonresidents. Go to zooboise.org.

14 February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

Saturday, February 13

Kids’ Saturday Fun: Valentine’s Day Card Making Saturday, February 13

Elementary school-age children are invited to make a Valentine’s Day card at 2 p.m. Saturday, February 13, at the Eagle Public Library.

The library hosts many events for adults, children and families.

For example, the library will host After School Fun: Marshmallow Olympics at 4:15 p.m. Tuesday, February 16, for children, as well as movie and book discussions for adults throughout the month. Check out the full list of activities by going to cityofeagle.org.

Family Saturday Program: Jazz at the Library Saturday, February 13

All ages are welcome to attend “Jazz It Up at the Library” from 10:30 a.m. to noon Saturday, February 13, at Nampa Public Library.

Apollo Blue and The Orange Combo from Northwest Nazarene University will perform. Go to nampalibrary.org/calendar.

Idaho City 30th Annual Chili Cook-Off Saturday, February 13

Visit historic Idaho City and sample chili from competitors all over the state from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturday, February 13, at the Idaho City Visitors Center, 102 Main St. / Hwy. 21. A sample cup cost $5, and that will buy you a bellyful of the best chili in Idaho. Music and auction items will also be featured. For more information, go to idahocitychamber.org or call 392-4159.

The Lightning Thief Sunday, February 14

A presentation of the Velma V. Morrison Family Theatre Series, this stage production of the book by Rick Riordan features Percy Jackson and the mythological monsters and gods of Mount Olympus. It will be presented at 2 p.m. Sunday, February 14, at the Morrison Center. For more information or to purchase tickets, go to mc.boisestate.edu/events.

Romancing the Pen Sunday, February 14

The Old Idaho Penitentiary will offer its annual alternative to traditional Valentine’s Day romance rituals. From noon to 8 p.m. (last admission at 7 p.m.) on Sunday, February 14, visitors may stroll through the site, snuggle up to their valentine, and discover the true meaning of “ball and chain.” Special exhibits will be set up for viewing. Go to history.idaho.gov/old-idaho-penitentiary-events.

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Foster Care Informational Meeting

Ignite the Change

Find out about becoming a foster or adoptive parent in Idaho by attending an informational meeting from 6:30 to 8 p.m. Monday, February 15, in the Shoshone Meeting Room on the lower level of the St. Luke’s medical facility on Eagle Road in Meridian. RSVP by emailing mlayton4@ewu.edu or by calling 249-0180. (A similar meeting will be held at 6:30 on February 22 at the St. Luke’s facility at 9850 St. Luke’s Dr. in Nampa.)

Because the world seems to be a never-ending story of “gloom and doom,” come celebrate success stories from individuals who are making a difference in creating a better, safer and more sustainable planet. Ignite the Change 2016 will be held from 12:45 to 4 p.m.

Saturday, February 20, in the Timberline High School auditorium, 701 E. Boise Ave. Re-ignite hope within kids of all ages as 12 local heroes get just 5 minutes to tell their inspirational stories of positive change. There will also be a keynote presentation by Bruce Reichert of Outdoor Idaho. The event is free. Go to lifeoutdoors.org.

Monday, February 15

Family Movie Night Thursday, February 18

The Cherry Lane branch of the Meridian library will hold Family Movie Night from 6 to 8 p.m. Thursday, February 18. The movie is free and so is the popcorn. The featured movie will be the 2015 version of “Cinderella,” and all ages are welcome. Go to mld.org.

A night of Latin dancing Friday, February 19

A night of Latin dancing will be held Friday, February 19, at Big Al’s at The Village in Meridian. Dances will be presented by 208 Latin Dance (208latindance.com) and will include salsa, bachata, cumbia, reggaeton and merengue. All ages are welcome.

Beginner dances will start at 8 p.m. and will be included for free with admission. From 9 p.m. to 1 a.m., there will be social dancing on a huge dance floor. Tickets are $8 in advance at picatic.com/salsaloca or $10 at the door.

Winter Green: Terrariums Saturday, February 20

Children, teens and adults are invited to overcome the winter blues by growing some green in a small terrarium at home. The class will be held from 2 to 3:30 p.m. Saturday, February 20, at the Library! at Cole & Ustick. The library branch will have a limited number of supplies, and participants are welcome to bring any fun little objects they want, to individualize their terrarium.

Family Snow Day Saturday, February 20

Join the Boise WaterShed for a “flurry of activities” during Family Snow Day from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday, February 20. The morning will include activities and crafts about animals and plants surviving the snowpack. At noon, pre-registered participants will be driven to the Bogus Basin Nordic Lodge, where snowshoes will be provided for an afternoon of snowshoeing, courtesy of Bogus Basin SnowSchool.

Small groups will be led by SnowSchool leaders on family-friendly trails. Beginners are welcome. Pre-registration and a $5 per person donation is required by February 15 for the snowshoe program. (No groups please.) Go to bee.cityofboise.org/watershed.

Dinosaur Day Saturday, February 20

Children ages 3-5 are invited to come be a paleontologist for a day, excavate dinosaur “bones,” create prehistoric crafts, and play games while learning about dinosaurs from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday, February 20, at the Eagle Senior Center, 312 E. State St. Cost is $15.

Pre-registration is required at cityofeagle.org/recreation.

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Saturday, February 20

Idaho IceWorld programs Saturday, February 20

Idaho IceWorld will offer two special programs in February, including Try Hockey for Free on February 20 and Learn to Skate Orientation on February 25. For more information, go to idahoiceworld.com or parks.cityofboise.org.

Do It Together – Beekeeping Monday, February 22

Adults are welcome to attend an introductory program on beekeeping presented by Treasure Valley Beekeepers club member Joe Leckie from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Monday, February 22, at the Cherry Lane branch of the Meridian library. A concurrent program will feature activities and crafts about bees for children old enough to work independently for up to one hour; sign-up for the kids’ program at mld.org.

Pirate Map Art

Mondays February 22 Through March 4

Children ages 8-12 are invited to come explore the world of pirates and maps during a 6-week program from 6:15 to 7:15 p.m. Mondays from February 22 through March 4 at Eagle Elementary School of the Arts, 475 N. Eagle Rd. Students will use pirate and ship images, as well as watercolor techniques, to create a beautiful map. They will then learn how to add dimension and shading with a crow quill pen. Cost is $95 plus supplies. Pre-registration is required at cityofeagle.org/recreation.

Kiwanis Comfort Kits for Kids Tuesday, February 23

Come stuff backpacks and bags with basic comfort supplies for children who have been removed from their homes and relocated, from 1 to 4 p.m. Tuesday, February 23, at the Cherry Lane branch of the Meridian library. Go to mld.org.

Family Book Club Thursday, February 25

Gather together as a family and discuss a book together at the Cherry Lane branch of the Meridian library from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m.

Thursday, February 25. Every month, the library highlights one book for families to read and then invites them to come to the library for games, crafts, snacks and a lively discussion all about the book.

Go to mld.org.

More Events on Page 16 Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016 15

CALENDAR of Events

BYU Folk Dance Ensemble Friday, February 26

Celebrate dance from around the world when the BYU Folk Dance Ensemble comes to Jewett Auditorium in Caldwell at 7 p.m. Friday, February 26. A presentation of the Caldwell Fine Arts Series, ticket costs are $8, $10 or $15 for adults, and $4, $6 and $8 for children or students. Tickets may be purchased at caldwellfinearts. org, by calling 459-5275, or at the door.

Nampa Christian 54th Annual Country Fair & Auction Friday and Saturday, February 26-27

This annual two-day event features a breakfast, barbecue dinner, live and silent auctions, a kids’ carnival and more throughout Friday and Saturday, February 26-27, at Nampa Christian Elementary School, 505 W. Orchard Ave. There are various admission fees for people of all ages. For more information and a full schedule of events, go to nampachristianschools.com/giving/auction.

Boise Philharmonic Youth Orchestra Winter Concert Saturday, February 27

The Boise Philharmonic Youth Orchestra will play, among other pieces, works by Mendelssohn and Tchaikovsky during its winter concert from 3 to 5 p.m. Saturday, February 27, at the Morrison Center. For ticket information, go to boisephil.com/concerts/ category/youth.

“Rethinking Idaho Landscapes” Saturday, February 27

The popular annual forum, “Rethinking Idaho Landscapes,” will be held from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday, February 27, at the BSU Special Events Center. The event is presented by the Idaho Botanical Garden and the University of Idaho. Presenters will offer useful examples, tools and information on gardening in the Gem State.

Cost is $35 for IBG members and for University of Idaho master gardeners, and $45 for others. The parking fee and a box lunch is included if registration is received by February 19. Register online at idahobotanicalgarden.org or call 343-8649.

Fight for Air Climb Saturday, February 27

The American Lung Association’s Fight for Air Climb will be held from 8:30 to 11 a.m. Saturday, February 27, in the US Bank Plaza, 101 S. Capitol Blvd. Test your stamina and lung power by climbing 32 to 128 flights of stairs; families are welcome to tackle the stairs together. One of the highlights of this event is the “Adopt-a-First Responder” program in which teams may “adopt” a first responder to climb with their team. Cost is $35. For more information, visit action.lung.org/site/TR?fr_id=12540&pg=entry.

16 February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

Continued from page 15

Children’s Book Exchange

Sunday, February 28, through Saturday, March 5

Each month, the Silverstone branch of the Meridian library hosts a weekly book exchange for children, which is set for Sunday, February 28, through Saturday, March 5. Drop by the library and head to the exchange cart in the foyer. Children’s books will be featured on the cart. You can pick up a new read and also feel free to leave any gently used books behind for the next person. Go to mld.org.

BCT Children’s Reading Series Sunday, February 28

Boise Contemporary Theater will present “Boy with a Suitcase” at 2 p.m Sunday, February 28, at BCT, 854 W. Fulton St. The story features a boy named Naz, whose homeland is an oppressive place.

When his parents send him to his brother’s home for safekeeping in London, Naz fancies himself like Sinbad — a man of many voyages and endless stories. Series tickets are limited. Place your order soon by calling 331-9224, ext. 205, or online at BCTheater.org.

Weight Management 101 Monday, February 29

Nutritionist Juanita Aguilar of the Southwest District Health Department will provide tips on how to make and reach realistic weight management goals, beginning at 5:30 p.m. Monday, February 29, at the library in Nampa. Aguilar will help you understand what a “healthy weight” really is for you, and will teach you how it is possible to make small, easy changes to your eating and physical activity level to help you meet your weight goals. Go to nampalibrary.org/calendar.

Every Child Ready to Read Registration opens online March 1

This 3-week class for parents and their children focuses on early literacy practices necessary for laying a foundation for reading.

Each family will receive a free book or other resources at each class.

Children must be 4 or 5 years old. Registration opens online March 1 at boisepubliclibrary.org/calendar, by phone at 972-8201 or in person at the Youth Services Desk at the main branch of Boise Public Library.

Classes will be held from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. Thursday, March 31, April 7 and April 14.

“Peppa Pig’s Big Splash” Tuesday, March 1

The whole family is invited to attend “Pegga Pig’s Big Splash” at 5 p.m. Tuesday, March 1, at the Ford Idaho Center, 16200 N. Idaho Center Blvd. in Nampa. Peppa Pig will be live on stage with a great show for the preschool crowd. For ticket information, go to fordidahocenter.com.

Munchin’ Munchkins Tuesdays, March 1-15

Join the Nampa Rec Center for a toddler cooking class. Kids ages 2-4 will learn measuring, pouring, mixing, cutting and creating fun foods to eat from 10:30 to 11:30 a.m. Tuesdays, March 1-15. Each child must be accompanied by a caregiver. Cost is $35 for members and $40 for non-members.

Go to nampaparksandrecreation.org.

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“Clifford, the Big Red Dog” Friday, March 4

The Velma V. Morrison Family Theatre Series will present “Clifford, the Big Red Dog,” a family musical, at 7 p.m. Friday, March 4, at the Morrison Center. For ticket information, go to mc.boisestate.edu/events.

Short Sports

Saturdays from March 5 through April 9

Nampa Rec Center’s Short Sports program introduces young boys and girls ages 3-4 to a variety of sports, including t-ball, hula hooping, kickball, dodgeball, frisbee and water exploration. The program is held from 9:30 to 10:10 a.m. Saturdays from March 5 through April 9. Cost is $14 for members and $18 for non-members. Register by 7 p.m. March 4 at nampaparksandrecreation.org.

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Join our team as an associate editor and help us expand our reach to Boise area families. For more information, email: publisher@sterlingmedialtd.com.

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Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016 17

SOCIAL Skills

Valentine’s Day history and etiquette aggression and internal chaos. It was not

By Susan Evans able to withstand threats with existing forces.

Valentine’s Day is celebrated in many counNaturally, more and more capable men were tries around the world and has become yet required to be recruited as soldiers and officers another media and product sales frenzy, much to protect the Empire from takeover. When the same as celebrating Mother’s Day and Claudius became the emperor, he felt that Father’s Day. Let’s get a little history to help us married men were more emotionally attached celebrate this day as it was originally intended, to their families and thus would not make to acknowledge the love and affection you good soldiers. So he issued an edict forbidding have for another. marriage to assure quality soldiers.

There may be doubts regarding the actual Saint Valentine was a bishop who held secret identity of Valentine, but we know that he marriage ceremonies of soldiers in opposition really existed because archaeologists have to Claudius II. It was only a matter of time recently unearthed a Roman catacomb and before Claudius came to know of this “friend an ancient church dedicated to a Saint Valenof lovers,” and had him arrested. tine. Here is the legend that best supports our While awaiting his sentence in prison, Valcelebration today.

Susan Evans entine was approached by his jailor, Asterius.

The origin of Valentine’s Day begins with It was said that Valentine had some saintly abilities and one the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia. Lupercalia is one of the most ancient of the Roman pagan holidays. It is famil- of them granted him the power to heal people. Asterius had a blind daughter, and knowing of the miraculous powers of iar to us today for two main reasons: Valentine, he requested the latter to restore his daughter’s 1. It is associated with Valentine’s Day. sight.

2. It is the setting for Caesar’s refusal of the crown that was When Claudius II met Valentine, he was said to have been made immortal by Shakespeare, in his “Julius Caesar.” impressed by his dignity and conviction. However, ValenLupercalia was a feast celebration held on February 15 that tine refused to agree with the emperor regarding the ban blended fun, fertility and erotic elements, thus the pseudo on marriage. It is also said that the emperor tried to convert connection with Valentine’s Day. Valentine to the Roman gods. Valentine refused to recognize But the rise of Christianity in Europe saw many pagan Roman gods and even attempted to convert the emperor, holidays being renamed for and dedicated to the early Chrisknowing the consequences fully. This angered Claudius II, tian martyrs. Lupercalia was no exception. In 496 AD, Pope who gave the order for Valentine to be executed.

Gelasius turned Lupercalia into a Christian feast day and set Meanwhile, a deep friendship had been formed between its observance a day earlier, on February 14. He proclaimed February 14 to be the feast day in honor of Saint Valentine, a Valentine and Asterius’s daughter. It caused great grief to the young girl to hear of her friend’s imminent death. It is said Roman martyr who lived in the 3rd century. that just before his execution, Valentine asked for a pen and Most scholars believe that Saint Valentine was a priest who paper from his jailor, and signed a farewell message to her lived around 270 AD in Rome and attracted the disfavor of “From Your Valentine,” a phrase that lived ever after. ValRoman emperor Claudius II, who ruled during this time. entine is believed to have been executed on February 14. He During the lifetime of Valentine, the golden era of the Rowas martyred for refusing to renounce his religion. man Empire had almost come to an end as it faced external

V

18 February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

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Thus February 14 became a day for all lovers, and Valentine became its patron saint. It began to be annually observed by young Romans who offered handwritten greetings of affection, known as valentines, on this day to the women they admired. With the coming of Christianity, the day came to be known as St. Valentine’s Day. But it was only during the 14th century that St. Valentine’s Day became definitively associated with love. UCLA medieval scholar Henry Ansgar Kelly, author of “Chaucer and the Cult of Saint Valentine,” credits Chaucer as the one who first linked St. Valentine’s Day with romance. The holiday evolved over the centuries. By the 18th century, gift-giving and exchanging handmade cards on Valentine’s Day had become common in England. Handmade valentine cards made of lace, ribbons, and featuring cupids and hearts began to be created on this day and handed over to the man or woman one loved.

Now here is a little Valentine’s Day etiquette: For everyone: • Remember, it’s about them, not you!

• Give your date your undivided attention.

• Turn off your cell phone.

• If you are gifting, think about what your date would like by doing a bit of homework — don’t just wing it.

• Thank the other person for whatever gift he or she offers regardless of whether you like it or not.

• Remember that impressions last. Dress for the occasion and practice good table manners.

• Never break up on Valentine’s Day or any other important day in the person’s life.

If you are in a new relationship: You have just started seeing the person, try not to scare him or her away. Do something nice, but hold back a little.

If it is meant to be, there will be more opportunities to celebrate.

• Send a mixed floral bouquet.

• Give a box of chocolates or other favorite treat.

• Go out to dinner at a nice restaurant. (The inviter pays unless there’s a mutual agreement up front.)

• End the evening with a kiss at the door and the promise of another date.

Long-term relationship: The key to having a memorable Valentine’s Day with someone you’ve been seeing for a while is to be creative and respectful. Remember, it’s about them, not you!

• Make reservations at their favorite restaurant (not yours).

• Send a flower for every year (or month) you’ve been together.

• Give a more personal gift that should only come from someone special.

• Give specialty candy with the person’s name on it.

• Cook a romantic dinner and eat by candlelight.

• Have a picnic by the fireplace.

Married couples: If you are married to the person you want to celebrate with, come up with something that takes you out of your daily routine. Why not go a little deeper and really try something new and different?

• Have a barbershop quartet come sing for your girl. IPA is one of my favorites; call Carl at (208) 794-5154.

• Write a poem and read it to them. Maybe even get it framed.

• Prepare the other person’s favorite dessert and feed it to them.

• Go someplace special and out of the ordinary. Dress up!

Why not try out our new “Wine and Dine Date Night Etiquette Dinner”?

• Exchange romantic intimate apparel and wear it.

• Enjoy a formal dinner next to the fire. n Susan Evans owns Social Essence, an Eagle-based company serving the Treasure Valley. She offers youth culture and adult culture programs designed to help participants improve their professional and personal lives. She may be reached at susan@socialessence.com, 631-0576, or www.socialessence.com.

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www.danceallegroacademy.com Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016 19

moMENts

The scent of a kitchen (and the mess)

By Patick Hempfing For Valentine’s Day 2013, my 8-year-old daughter, Jessie, and I baked a pound cake for my wife, Mattie. I remember it well because I’m not sure if the kitchen has recovered. I’m pretty sure I haven’t. Egg slime ran down the cabinet. I fished egg shells from the batter. Flour dust covered the dish detergent bottle, faucet, and coffee pot. Jessie melted butter until it boiled over in the microwave. Luckily, I heard the splatter and stopped the microwave; three minutes remained on the timer.

Even a little bit of vanilla extract left on a teaspoon proved problematic. Jessie asked, “May I have it?” She made a face after she licked the teaspoon. Apparently, vanilla smells better than it tastes. Ten minutes later, Jessie complained of a bellyache. Little did I realize, my head would soon ache.

Jessie had used the hand-held electric mixer to stir the ingredients. I asked her to hand me the mixer so I could make sure the batter was well mixed, but we had a poor exchange. Fumble!

The mixer, turning at full speed, plopped into the bowl. Batter sprayed everywhere — my shirt, my pants, the wall, the sink, the coffee maker. Jessie avoided the erupting batter by running into the living room.

Had I remained calm, I would have unplugged the cord from the outlet, but one doesn’t think well while his kitchen, and self, are being painted in batter. I pulled the mixer from the remaining ingredients in the bowl, careful not to get my fingers caught in the spinning beaters, thereby ending my writing career.

Jessie came back into the kitchen as clean-up began. She retrieved a spatula to scrape the batter that blanketed the mixer back into the bowl. Surprisingly, enough batter remained and before too long, the sweet aroma of pound cake filled the kitchen.

Next, Jessie wanted to help with the Valentine’s Day supper. She suggested that I cut the onions and chicken while she peeled the potatoes. After thinking, “I don’t have energy to clean up blood,” I gave her permission. As Jessie peeled the potatoes, she sang “Over the Rainbow.” As my fatigued head rested against the kitchen cabinets, my beautiful girl wished upon a star.

Jessie, now 11, still loves to bake, cook, and microwave. On a recent Saturday when Mattie was out of town, Jessie and I were watching my favorite college football team hold onto a one-point lead. Jessie turned to me and said, “I’m hungry.”

I said, “I am too.” Jessie quickly responded, “I’ll make supper.” Since my team needed me to cheer them on, I said, “Okay, but don’t burn down the house.”

Jessie cut a hard-boiled egg in half and delivered it in a glass bowl. Then she heated a can of chicken soup on the stove and served it. All was going well, but then I picked up an all-too-familiar scent — the smell of something burning. I opted to run to the kitchen and forget about my team nursing its one-point lead.

“What’s burning!?

“Everything’s okay, Dad. Please don’t look.” Jessie likes to surprise me. Trust me; if I smell something burning, I’m going to look.

Jessie had over-microwaved two cookies. She served me the blackened one with a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream on the side and covered the burnt cookie with chocolate syrup and white chocolate morsels.

As I enjoyed my dessert, I asked Jessie, “Did you turn off the stove?” Jessie ran into the kitchen. I heard the stove knob click, followed by, “It’s off now.”

My team held on for a 1-point victory. When I read the sports page the next morning, the kitchen still smelled like burnt cookie.

What did I learn from these experiences? Wear an apron … always. Chocolate syrup is a good condiment for burnt desserts. Though I enjoy college football, I cherish living in my house more. Most importantly, I must continue to let Jessie try things so she can grow … but with supervision.

I don’t know what Valentine’s Day 2016 will bring, but I plan to keep a scented candle on hand. If I don’t use it to mask the smell of burnt food, it can always provide a romantic ambience for my valentine.

Until next month, remember to cherish the moments. Happy Valentine’s Day! n

F

Patrick Hempfing

Patrick Hempfing had a 20-year professional career in banking, accounting, and auditing before he became a father at age 44. He is now a full-time husband, stay-at-home dad, and writer.

Follow Patrick at www.facebook.com/patricklhempfing and on Twitter @PatrickHempfing.

20 February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

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ONE week

What will you do with your 168 hours?

By Genny Heikka “We all have 168 hours in a week and one life to live.”

I look at those words written by Jessica Turner at Ann Voskamp’s blog and I pause.

168 hours.

When you say a week, it sounds like a week — routine and packed with this, that and the other thing. But when you break it into hours? An hour is the blink of an eye.

And there, the question looms in front of me as if I’d never considered how I was going to spend my time: What are you going to do with your hours?

With this hour?

I look at the clock. It’s 7:39. What would change if I lived my life in hours? A couple months ago, my sister-in-law lost one of her friends to a blood clot. He was in the prime of his life and nobody saw it coming. It seems like I keep hearing story after story lately of loved ones being diagnosed with cancer. And then there’s the news: shootings and tragedy and loss in our world today.

We all have our own timelines, our hours unknown.

Yet do we live like we realize that? Like time is precious and every day counts? Or do we keep doing what we’re doing, going from week to week, from goal to goal, from plan to plan, from stress to stress, forgetting to stop and think about the meaning of it all? Forgetting to consider the big questions? Questions like who am I? And what’s my purpose? and who can I love better? and what happens when I die?

168 hours isn’t a lot. But that’s the point. Because when we look at our lives and the things we’re spending time on through the lens

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that we’re only here for a short while, a beautiful change starts to happen...

We loosen our grip on the sense of control (that we think we have). Our friends and family become a higher priority. We have more courage. We have fewer regrets. Our relationships deepen.

Our life has more meaning. We worry less.

We love more.

So does it really matter what we do with this week — these 168 hours ahead? Our hours make up our days that make up our months... that make up our life. So, yes, it matters. One hour lived well can turn into two, then three... then 168 and more. A daily discipline, that one good choice, the courage to reach out, the willingness to be real, the sacrifice to serve others, that new skill learned, that one risk taken, the decision to love — these little things aren’t little at all. They accumulate, and they count.

Small surrenders add up to victory. Baby steps lead to open doors.

And little changes build dreams.

So what do you want to do in the next seven days? What changes do you want to start making? Who do you want to reach out to?

What big ideas and questions do you want to explore?

What will you do with the next 168 hours? What will I? n Genny Heikka is a mom, author, speaker and coffee lover. Stop by her blog at gennyheikka.com and share a cup or connect with her on Twitter at @GennyHeikka. For more tips on being a more joyful mom, check out her latest book, “Finding Mommy Bliss – Discovering Unexpected Joy in Everyday Moments,” available wherever books are sold.

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Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016 21

ARCHER Sierrah Kile

She’s young, smart and a straight shooter

Sierrah Kile and Russell Charmin work on a bow adjustment. Russell is a longtime member of the Nampa Bow Chiefs, where Sierrah and her family are members.

Sierrah practices archery several hours a day at the Nampa Bow Chiefs’ facility. (Photo by Gaye Bunderson)

By Gaye Bunderson Like many families in Idaho, the Kile family likes to hunt.

Sierrah Kile’s father and brother hunt with rifles, but when Sierrah was ready to go after game, she wanted something more challenging. She opted for a bow and arrow.

Sierrah is able to hunt with a rifle when necessary. She shot a black bear in the mountains in the McCall/Donnelly area with a 30.06. But it wasn’t a trophy hunt; the Kile family turned the bear meat into big rolls of salami and sausage and made good use of the meat, according to Sierrah’s mother, Stacie Kile.

Sierrah, 16, has been an archer for three years and primarily uses her archery skills in competitions. “There’s the hunting world and there’s the archery world,” she said.

To feed her interest in learning to handle a bow and arrow, she initially started by visiting archery shops in the valley.

“Around here, everyone is friendly. They helped me, telling me what to do,” she said.

She eventually hooked up with the Nampa Bow Chiefs, an archery club for people of all ages. “We joined as a family,” Stacie said.

Sierrah practices with her bow and arrow for several hours every day. She attends school online so she can focus on honing her skills. “Schools don’t recognize archery,” Stacie said. “Sierrah was not able to get any time off to go to competitions.”

Now, after maintaining good grades via her online education, she competes whenever and wherever possible. She placed

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22 February 2016 | Idaho Family Magazine

second in a 2015 tournament in Las Vegas and returned to the Nevada city in January for another competition. She took first place at a tournament in December in Pocatello.

Competitions include shooting at targets such as the Vegas, the 5 Spot, and the World Target. Tournaments are held both outdoors and indoors. Indoor shoots require standing, placing the arrow on the bow, drawing, aiming, and releasing. Outdoor shoots, on the other hand, involve strenuous walking, running, and hiking before shooting at designated targets.

“Outdoor shoots are intensive,” Sierrah said.

She frequently practices archery with her father, Mark. “It’s rare if I can get them to take a day off,” Stacie said.

When asked if she’s better at archery than her dad, Sierrah said she was and stated he wouldn’t mind her making that claim. After all, he’s fairly new to archery. Stacie said her daughter motivates others to try the sport, including her three brothers, mom and dad, grandparents, and best friend. Archery, she said, is for everybody: men and women, seniors and youngsters.

“Sierrah has gotten people started in it. … She tries to help a lot of people,” said Stacie, who calls the sport “quiet and focused.”

Russell Charmin, a longtime member of the Nampa Bow Chiefs, agrees that archery is a sport for anyone. “There are more men involved, but there’s an awful lot of women. It’s a great sport for women — you don’t have to be big and brawny.”

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He said he has seen archers as young as 3 and as old as 90. Charmin, who is retired, attends national senior competitions for people 50 and up.

“It’s a growing sport and it’s a lifetime sport,” he said.

“There’s a good physical and mental aspect to it.”

Sierrah said interest in archery in the valley — and throughout Idaho and the rest of the U.S. — runs high, and has for some time. Some younger people may have been motivated to try archery following the release of “The Hunger Games,” but for the most part, it’s the sportloving side of the state that has led to archery’s popularity here, she said.

Beginning in February, Sierrah will work to become a certified archery instructor; she’d like to teach archery at the YMCA. During the upcoming summer months, she will be teaching archery through the Nampa Parks and Recreation Department.

Although she said she also has interests in painting and the medical field, she admires a number of people who’ve been able to make a career out of archery, winning monetary awards in competitions. Her heroes include: • Sara Lopez, a Colombian athlete who competes in compound archery* • Sarah Lance, a Team USA archery member from Wisconsin • Erika Jones, an American compound archer who has won gold medals at the World Archery Championships She also admires Reo Wilde, a successful American male archer who is from Pocatello.

Sierrah shoots left-handed and has 20/20 vision. Because the Nampa Bow Chiefs offers a low-cost membership that gives members their own keys to its facility on West Railroad in Nampa, people may practice anytime on a 24/7 basis. On a recent afternoon, Sierrah was shooting at 3 p.m.; her dad showed up soon after. She is dedicated to the sport to the extent she makes her own arrows — something a number of serious archers do.

“The arrow is tailor-made to you, and you can say you did it,” Charmin explained.

He said archers may buy expensive equipment or go for the less expensive stuff.

“It’s just as much fun with any of them, and you can get just as good,” he said.

With her father nearby, Sierrah aimed her arrow over and over and hit the target dead on over and over. She practiced diligently.

“She’s very self-motivated,” Stacie said. n * A compound bow uses a levering system, generally of cables and pulleys, to bend the limbs. (For more information, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/compound_bow.) Sierrah uses the same kind of bow.

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Idaho Family Magazine | February 2016 23

Nurturing the Heart…

Challenging the Intellect

� Located in SE Boise, convenient to � Traditional Montessori method downtown and I-84 including: math, reading, science, geography, art, music, � Programs for children 18 months through Kindergarten and foreign language � Summer Camp for elementary aged children � Call to schedule a tour 208.331.3888

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