Who said that Romance dies

Who said THAT ROMANCE DIES WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS?

Right at the beginning, before the kids, the diapers, the sleepless nights, the ‘kid not eating well’, the school, the homework.... before all the hassle of childcare, there was only you and your partner. The romance was alive and sparkling, fitting in intimacy and conversations. Fun adventures were the rule rather than the exception. However, if you’re like the vast majority of parents, you’re probably directing most of your emotional energy these days toward your newest little love, your kids.

Despite the fact that being a parent is one of the most amazing things that could happen to anyone, it is still a fulltime job, with no weekends or holidays. The working hours are endless. In a nutshell, it will tire the hell out of you, and more importantly it will change some aspects of your relationship with your spouse.

The shift from husband and wife to mommy and daddy can be a tricky transition for some marriages. But that shift is inevitable, so instead of ignoring it, letting it control your life or worse yet fighting it off; you must learn how to embrace it. Today we are sharing tips couples follow to try and keep the romance alive after kids.

CO-PILOT EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE

Let’s start with the basics. One of the greatest challenges new couples come across these days in Egypt is breaking the mold regarding the fact that women are the ones responsible for raising kids. This was how the world wagged for many years, but nowadays women lead jobs as challenging as men do, so for her to take the wheel of parenthood on her own is so stressful and unfair, which drives the marriage into a solid wall, and might even break it. Marriage is a partnership; the two parties must invest their time and effort equally. Only then, when the workload is divided and shared, the romance can find its way to sneak in and spark.

NEVER STOP DATING EACH OTHER

You’ve probably read this one before, but we don’t mind repeating it since it’s an indispensable tip. Dating each other is what made you fall in love in the first place, because it was your chance to connect. It makes sense that you should keep dating to stay in love. If you don’t want the fire to die out, you got to keep blowing on the flames. It doesn’t have to be something fancy or extraordinary; it could be as simple as talking and laughing over a shared sandwich or takeout… in whispered tones so the baby stays asleep! Set aside time each week just for the two of you to reconnect, as husband and wife, instead of mom and dad.

DON’T ALWAYS PUT THE CHILDREN FIRST

Well, I know this one might come as a surprise, but it is essential.

One of the greatest things you can do for your kids is to sometimes place your spouse first! Let us elaborate. Putting your kids before your spouse is not you doing them any favours, in fact, you’re doing them a great disservice. You’re showing them an unbalanced way to love. Your children need you, but you know what they also need? A happy home. Happy couples create happy homes. It all provides them with a sense of safety and security; it shows them what real love should look like. Do everyone a favour and spoil your spouse every now and then. You both need it.

LEAD A DOUBLE LIFE

Becoming parents doesn’t mean you have jumped ships, and are now solely parents. It only means you have added a new title to your marriage, but the title ‘husband and wife’ is still valid. Be consistent and firm about bedtime; your kids must learn that after bedtime is “your time!” After 8 o’clock you’re not parents, you’re you. You’ve dealt with diapers and crying all day; you need a break and time to transition from “parents mode” to “couple mode.” Yes, being parents is a 24/7 gig, but so is being married! And you’ll be a much better, happier person if you make time for yourself too.

SHOW AFFECTION TOWARD YOUR SPOUSE IN FRONT OF THE KIDS

Sometimes parents back off from showing affection toward each other in front of the kids, thinking it is the right thing to do. It is not right, and it is unhealthy for them too. It’s okay for them to see you kissing, cuddling, dancing, and being in love! In fact, it’s good for them. Part of our job as parents is to model what a strong marriage looks like. Besides, don’t you want it to be blaringly obvious for your kids to know that you and their dad/mom are madly in love? Why would you want to hide that from them?