IDWN Online Magazine Vol. 2 | Iss. 1 by I Do Wedding Network

Cover

THANK YOU to our friends AND AMAZING CONTRIBUTORS

Pac Lorefield Editor-in-Chief IDWN Founder

Hitcher Post

Creative Director IDWN Manager

Emma Portilo

Contributor Editor IDWN Member

Serbon Cobalt Founding Member IDWN Manager

Henri Mckeenan Contributor IDWN Member

Marla Marx

Fashion Director IDWN Co-Founder

Gunthor Allen Photographer IDWN Member

CONTENTS

SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER | VOLUME 2 | NO. 1

9 15 21 29 40 45 49

Cover and Index Page Photos taken by Pac Loreﬁeld | Models: Saddie Westminster and Ace Bowie

a lEttEr from the Editor

“Offering the best of the Second Life Wedding Industry!” There is no doubt in my mind that the I Do Wedding Network has some of the most talented creators and planners in Second Life. Whether it is a gorgeous dress, a decadant wedding cake, or extravagant venue - there is something for everyone.

Photo By Gunthor Allen

new articles to the magazine and are looking for member involement. The new features will include highlights of SL weddings and photography advice on the must have shots at weddings. If interested in contributing for either feature, please contact a I am also in the processing a resource website for member of the magazine staff (see page 5). our members. It will be a one-stop location to find out about our latest hunts, learn more about the We hope you enjoy this Fall issue. We have a lot magazine, keep updated on expo planning, and of great information ranging from a sneak peek to soon a n index of tutorials to help members with their the Patone 2014 colors to how to gaurd yourself or your business from fraud in SL. business needs. Currently, I’ve been working on ideas to help members with their advertising efforts. I have been scouring the grid looking for valuable locations to advertise our group and services.

There are two ways you can locate the member As always, thank you everyone for your continued website: www.idoweddingnetworksl.wordpress.com or support of The I Do Wedding Network. via the I Do Wedding Network blog (simply click on the IDWN Members tab). Yours truly ~ Among other endeavors, we are looking at adding Pac Lorefield, founder of IDWN

Visit us in world today!

Dear Henri, I met “Dave” at a club in Second Life. He asked me to dance, and from then on we were inseparable. We messaged for hours, shared our hopes and dreams. A few weeks later he proposed at the same club, and we were wed in an elaborate ceremony, with many of our friends and Second Life family in attendance. Our honeymoon was on a romantic cruise ship with our own private suite. We shared a home on a beautiful lot and were planning a family. One day, someone sent me a message, said she noticed that “Dave” was partnered and wanted me to know that “Dave” was really a woman. When I confronted Dave, “he” confessed. She said she likes playing the role of a man and apologized for hurting me. I dissolved our partnership and muted “Dave” forever. How can I ever trust again? Sincerely, Devastated in Detroit Dear Devastated: I am so sorry you are heartbroken. If it’s any comfort, your experience is not uncommon. Let’s take a step back for some perspective. Second Life (SL) is just that. Your first life is your home, job, kids, traffic, finances and mundane chores like cleaning the toilet. Your second life gives you an opportunity to be anything you want. For example, a person bound to a wheelchair in real life can walk, run, dance and fly in SL. You can go back in time and experience the Old West or Roaring 20s; you can see a replica of London or Rio. You get to “try on” being a different age, race, gender or even species! You can be a kid again or you can have a virtual baby. In short, it is fiction. It is role-play. To your point, there is potential for fraud in any virtual or online relationship, and much debate has ensued over gender identification. Some have suggested that Linden Lab require gender validation similar to age verification. Keep in mind that Second Life markets itself as “Your World, Your Imagination.” You cannot naively enter any virtual world or assume everything is as it seems. Early in my SL experience, I suspected one of my BFFs was really a guy. At the end of the day, I really didn’t care; we were all just having fun. You trusted that “Dave” was male. Was he deceitful? Yes. Was he malicious? No. Gender can easily be verified with a voice chat or online video. On the other hand, you had some great conversations and trusted this person with your deepest feelings. Ask yourself - what exactly were you seeking? A real life relationship or escape from routine? And finally, did you just turn your back on a wonderful friendship? Be cautious, don’t assume, and most important - have fun in your virtual journey! Ask Henri - send a NC to Henri Fouquet or email her at henrifouquetsl@gmail.com.

Visit us in world today!

Falling For Color Marla Marx

We can feel it in the air the weather is changing and the leaves are turning. Autumn is around the corner and the trend colors are here. They have actually been out awhile now but for those us in second life we live for the moment and plan not too far ahead. The new 2014 Patone colors were announced recently during Fashion Week 2013. I will give you a quick sneak peek because I love the color and canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait to show to show it off.

One of the big trends this year is rustic weddings. With venues that include barns, outdoor woodsy areas or a country setting. The rustic weddings are using lace, lights, and glass. Chandeliers, lace and burlap table cloths, and Mason jars and glass plates. It’s a beautiful warm feeling and works wonderful with this year’s fall Patone colors. I choose an outdoor venue to show off the fall colors. The trees, grass and wooden benches give the right setting for this year’s color. Having your first dance under the stars is

2013 FALL COLOR PALETTE

The fall fashion colors for 2013 are rich and lively and work well with the natural beauty of fall itself. Emerald, of course, is still part of this season colors as the fashion color for 2013.

The mixed greens and orange color bring out the warm tones of fall. The brown color or pink from the fall color palette could easily be interchanged or added for another look.

See how the multicolor bridesmaids with the bride work wonderfully with the Autumn venue and fall colors? The emerald green in both brings out the blending of natureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s natural colors.

The pink and purple color brings out the cool bolder tones of fall. The red on the fall color palette could easily be interchanged in or added for a different look.

Lastly, the bride’s photo with her standing in a rustic natural setting that incorporates this year’s fall colors. It’s stunning how these color work so well to make for a great wedding photo. Autumn is a warm beautiful season that makes a bride glow and is perfect for starting a partnership together because all those family holidays are just around the corner bringing you and your partner closer with each other and with your new family. Please, look in our upcoming Jan/Feb issue for all the 2014 colors. You won’t want to miss it!

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Home & Garden From the Heart Visit Ust Today!

The “Partners” page of the Second Life website for each resident has the following statement:

“Second Life couples can now make their relationships official. Whether you’re married or just connected, you can designate your partner on your profile in-world and make your relationship visible to the rest of the community. Send your proposal to the avatar of your dreams using the form below. Partnering, like real life marriage, costs money. To create a partnership will cost each partner L$10. If you decide to divorce later, the person requesting the divorce will be charged L$25. Can’t be married in real life? Try Second Life!” A tale oft told in Second Life is how someone has found the love of their life, their soul mate, the one they were meant to be with, and are now ready to take the leap and partner, marry and settle down. They shop for the perfect venue, a great wedding planner, gorgeous flowers, and the perfect virtual clothes. The date is set and they excitedly anticipate the big day of celebration.

So many times RL robs us of what we all want so much that we get caught up in the joy and excitement of getting to make it come true in SL. Sometimes it’s the dream dress, the perfect location, the amazingly beautiful horse drawn carriage, the dance as husband and wife, or maybe the ability to take someone as your life partner with loved ones looking on when you have been told you can’t in RL. Festivities held in honor of the happy couple are frequently, in scale, rival to that of RL weddings. Spending accelerates as emotions run high and the happy couple wants to see their visions brought to virtual life. Can’t have it in RL? Try it in your virtual world, right? On the surface there isn’t anything wrong with this, and in fact it’s healthy to be able to live our fairy tale dreams. (continue on next page)

However, there is also the tale of how the bride and groom broke up and left the wedding planner without paying the bill since they didn’t go through with the day. The wedding planner is left holding a unique and beautiful set of plans and items that are now worthless. There are many examples of this including the bride or groom disappearing without paying while promising to all the while, the bride and groom not being able to pay as much as the dream plans cost due to excitedly adding more and more...the list goes on and on. The unexpected, and often sad, situations are too many to mention. And, while intentions were good, someone has provided many hours of planning, preparing, organizing, arranging, building, and supplies for the intent of this occasion and needs to be compensated. Just as in RL, when people have given of themselves, they need to be paid. Some think it’s simply not a big deal because it’s only virtual and just a game.

On the other side of the coin, wedding planners and venues leave without a trace. No one can be reached and a day of dreams is simply gone with no way to claim it or to regain it. Hope is dashed and Bydon’t Gunth heartbreak follows as the money has been paid and there is nothing to show for it. MostPhoto planners go into the business with the intent of ripping people off. Many give of themselves many times over of what is charged and do so happily and willingly. There are always circumstances that are unforeseen and things that happen that need to be prepared for. RL is first and should come first, but when a commitment is made to provide something to someone - be it lindens in exchange for work done and services provided or be it to provide a service, some extra care and attention needs to be paid to the details to help protect both planner and client. No matter your reason for deciding to have a virtual wedding, there are some practical ideas that are necessary to help protect you and your lindens and your special day be you bride or groom. Ideas for protecting yourself in SL as a potential bride or groom: 1. Know your budget limitations! Just like in RL, you should know what you can afford, ask for prices up front, and be prepared to only take on the responsibility for what you can financially handle committing to (continued on page 33).

hor Allen

Photo By Gunthor Allen

Photo By Gunthor Allen (continued from page 31)

2. Have a contract! Build in dates for payments and what needs to be done by each of those dates. This protects you as the client by knowing what is being done to accomplish the end goal. By staying updated through communication with your planner on each of these dates, you show you are a responsible client that is truly investing yourself in your plans and by paying on time you show sincerity and honesty. 3. At each check point in the contract, be responsible for what you need to do! Provide names, go shopping, make lists and pay funds on time. Also, request copies of any of the items that are created specifically and uniquely for your occasion as they are paid for along the way - this can help you recover with a backup plan should an emergency come up. 4. Assure there is backup staff to help. A reputable planner will have either backup staff that is helping and can take over should something come up, or will belong to a network of other planners, such as the I Do Wedding Network, wherein there is an entire network of others that can act as backup when needed. 5. Use common sense. If what someone is telling you doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem right, ask more questions, do your research and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t agree to it until you are settled. Your intuition is often right!

6. Take your time. While you may be in a hurry to take the plunge into marriage, slow down and take a breath so you are sure it is done right! Research, ask for references, go to networks of planners to help locate stable, active and reputable planners. Do your homework! 7. Ask for specifics. No detail or price point should be cloudy or sketchy. Be sure to know what each item or service provided is and that you and the planner are on the same page with what it means to you. 8. Get it in writing! While this seems to be repetitive, it can never be said enough. Do not assume what you think someone will be doing for you. Know the facts. Clarify. Take nothing for granted. 9. Communicate! Follow up, if possible, with an email outside of SL that recaps conversations and outlines what each party agreed to. Be sure to include dates and times. This will help you to keep track of what is expected. 10. Keep lines of communication open. Be prepared for changes and adjustments, both on the side of your wedding party and from the planner. Things happen and it’s best if you are open and can be flexible with changes. Remember this is SL and outside influences and considerations are always happening to everyone. Most people aren’t out to get you and will do their best for you if you communicate openly. 11. Use the golden rule - treat others as you would wish to be treated. Seem childish to add? Sometimes people seem to forget this when they are paying for a service, but it is an excellent rule of thumb for helping to assure things go your way in the end. 12. Ask for what you need of someone. Being honest in your communication will go a long way toward helping the outcome be just as you’ve dreamed. If you don’t ask, how are they to know what your needs are? Just because technology has advanced doesn’t mean it makes anyone a mind reader. 13. Prepare yourself. There are always going to be people that will take advantage. For each one that exist that will take you for all you have, there are oh so many more that will do whatever they can to

What about the other side? What about those planners and SIM owners that go out of their way to help make the dreams of others come true? People don’t think about it happening as much, but it does. Planners put so much into planning, preparing, reserving, contacting, organizing and buying on the behalf of others, spending their free time working to find/create/prepare. It’s not a one way street. Neither are the measures you can take to protect yourself.

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Ways to help: 1. Have a contract! Yes, this is the same as it is for those seeking to use your services. Both parties need to know what is expected, when it is expected, how much is expected as payment and how payment should occur. The more detailed, the better. A reputable planner provides these details without hesitation and a sincere client welcomes it. The contract provides protection and peace of mind for all parties involved. 2. Keep an updated To Do List that contains the items that have been agreed to. This list would be a shorter version of the contract and would act as your active “queue” of work items. At any point in time you should be able to provide this list to the client so they are aware of what is completed and what is left to be done. As part of this, be prepared to provide items that are unique and essential to the event, in copy version, to the client so they are able to have it should something go wrong with the plans. If it is unique to them, they have paid for it and should be allowed to have a copy. 3. Assure your Plan B! Having back up staff to help when you can’t get there is imperative. Again, this is a step also listed for those who hire you, but it definitely applies at both ends. Assure staff are kept updated on the To Do List and know what is going on so no one is taken by surprise. Keep in contact outside of SL, if necessary, to keep the details updated and organized. 4. Network! For those who have no permanent staff to work with, it is so important to join a network of planners, such as the I Do Wedding Network, that can be called upon in your hour of need. Be ready to provide them with your To Do List and contract so they know exactly what is needed and be prepared to pay them accordingly. Don’t forget to add them with the necessary rights for the venue so they can assure the services are provided without a hitch. 5. Communicate! Always communicate openly with your clientele. Keep them in the know regarding decisions to be made and developments that have occurred. Purposefully reach out to them to give them updates every few days so they know you are making them and their needs a priority. Respond to inquiries in a timely fashion as delayed responses cause doubt, stress and worry that tends to fester if left un-addressed. Most people are pretty understanding, but want to be “in the know” and will be easier to work with if they have been informed. 6. Create a business email address or a personal email address that is just for SL. If you are uncomfortable giving out an email address used for RL, simply create a free email address and utilize it for your SL communications. Many people are available through email even if they aren’t in world and it helps to track your efforts and the needs of the client.

7. Be Responsible! If you are accepting money for service, even if it is far less than it would be in real life, live up to the responsibility. If you can’t provide the service it’s only fair to let your client know well in advance and offer to assist them with other options, such as your Plan B, as soon as possible. 8. Consistency! Do not make an exception to the “no refund” rule for your friend’s friend, but not for others. Word gets around and you never know who knows who. Once word gets out about exceptions to the rule, people will stop trusting. Stick to your contract terms no matter who the client is. Period. 9. Reflect reality. Even though it’s a virtual world, be prepared and don’t over-complicate things or promise more than you can deliver. It’s important to make sure you’ve included only as much work as you can deliver by each of the milestone dates promised. If you are not paid, do not continue work on the event and be sure it’s clear to all concerned you have stopped work and why. Communication is key and it’s best all parties involved in the contract know and understand what is happening. 10. Flexibility! This is most likely one of the things that no planner has to be reminded of. The need for flexibility is an absolute and the ability to handle flexibility under all circumstances is an art that must be perfected. Learn to bend, within reason, as much as possible to make the client happy. This is their day and their dream and sometimes dreams need adjustments as they develop - we’re all human and no one can see everything perfectly in their dream. 11. Be Firm! Isn’t this in contrast to being flexible? While it is indeed in contrast, it is also something that needs to go hand in hand with being firm. Once the flexibility has bent to the breaking point, it’s time to be firm and remind the client of the contract. Kindly, but firmly. You can’t be expected to bend to the breaking point, but even in being firm gentility is called for as this is already a very emotional time for your clients. 12. Finally, as stated above, be prepared for the worst. There are times that RL claims your time or interferes with your clients’ best laid plans. Remember most clients do not go into an event of this type with the intent of making your life a nightmare. Most don’t plan to run out on the bill. It’s going to happen so be prepared to know it will and take steps to protect yourself to the best of your ability.

Bottom line, be prepared. Things happen. SL is a virtual world and it is very hard to enforce and protect yourself and your Lindens fully. Do your best, which is all anyone can ask. Participate and be active in the process.

What are your best tips and hints for protecting yourself? What are the contract points that you have included to assure protection of your business (for planners) and for a successful event (for clients)?

Leave your message with Emma Portillo via an in-world notecard or at emmaportilo@gmail.com.

I Do Wedding Network Member Highlight

In business for over 2 years, Allie Munro talks to IDWN about the driving force behind one of SLâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite wedding boutiques.

IDWN: How did Eversong Wedding Boutique get itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s start? AM: Eversong Wedding Boutique actually started off as a full-service wedding sim-2 sims to be exact-Eversong Weddings and Events. We had 15 themed venues that you could get married at-from autumn to farm, from miami beach glam to asian garden. We had the business open in SL for 7 months until it got to be too much. We did not have the time to design new merchandise for Grumble, which is our main focus. So we closed the sims down and turned Eversong into a wedding boutique in the Grumble family. Eversong has been open now for going on 2 years. IDWN: What has been your main inspiration or goal? AM: Our goal to start was to give SL customers a beautiful place to get married and celebrate finding each other in a virtual environment. The main driver behind this was that I met my RL husband here in SL. Skar Scorpio and I have been together for 5 years, married in RL for 3. SL really does give you another avenue to find relationships that you never would have the chance to in your daily life. Eversong Weddings and Events had a full-time staff of wedding planners and a variety of packages to make your day simple yet memorable. Now with the boutique, we try to carry a variety of things to help you with your wedding day planning-everything from bouquets to cakes, dresses to jewelry. We do seasonal themed special designs as well as we showcase over 25 wedding cakes for under $200L. We also offer wedding invitation customization and will have your invitations to you within 48 hours. It is very important for us to try to keep our prices as affordable as possible, especially with the state of the economy these days.

IDWN: What has been the hardest thing about running your business? AM: Time! You get strung very thin when you have so much going on in SL-we had to pull back on our wedding venture to concentrate on our main baby-Grumble. We loved the wedding sim and spent hundreds of hours designing and maintaining the space, not counting the dollars invested. It’s hard to find that fine line balance that you have to maintain to keep the top tier from falling off the pyramid and bring everything crashing down. IDWN: What is your most rewarding experience? AM: The daily thank yous I get from customers. You hear so many complaints or issues, that just the simple message or note card saying thank you or I loved this, or you are just so generous-that is what is rewarding to me. We pride ourselves on trying to help the newer people to SL get a good start as well as offering what we can at affordable prices so that we have return customers for years to come. IDWN: Why do you do this? AM: The drive to design. This is my creative outlet. If I didn’t design and produce new fashions, sims, concepts, I’d just go completely insane. Just ask my husband-he supports and helps me because he knows it’s in my blood and it’s just something I have to do to keep our life sane.

IDWN: What advice would you give a couple planning there wedding right now? AM: Decide what you really want to have for your special day-bells and whistles are nice, but I’ve seen too many couples get in over their heads money wise and actually break off their wedding because of it. Some broke up permanently. Be careful how many people you invite as simulators get grouchy when they have too many people with too many prims and scripts-it’s important that the bride can actually make it down the aisle and not crash constantly. Be creative-try something differentand definitely do your research-there are some wonderful places in SL to get married.

IDWN: What is your next big adventure? AM: Eversong Weddings and Events 2 of course! Coming this fall/winter-a bit scaled down, but we have huge things in store for you-so please keep your eyes open for more details. In the meanwhile, make sure to visit their blog-http://eversongweddingboutique.blogspot.com and In-World boutique.

Join us for the Second Life Wedding of

Asia Connel & Matthew Dereham

A Note from the Bride The Wedding was celebrated in Antiquity, a victorian community where I lived some years ago with my actual husband, Matthew Dereham, where we owned a few of sims. So, for us, it has been a joy can celebrate our sl wedding among Anty sims. From Mont Saint Bruno, in its baroque cathedral, to the square of Bexar, from a private Patio in Carribean, to the more european Loire gardens, we together our guests have danced, chatted, eating, in different style with a live concert of italian singer, French Court dances, up to final fireworks in Texas. We celebrated for 5 and a half hours, around sims by gondolas. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m happy to marry in Second Life because this metaverse offers not only a way for expressing creativity, but also our feelings that, we know well, are always real. Not only is our story limited to SL but it is a story between a virtual world and reality. It is a path for communicating and living in freedom. At the end, my spouse and I went to Saint Francis Church (the Saint Patron) and prayed for peace because, when we decided to marry, there were strong war winds and by praying for peace it gave us a more real dimension of fragility of human nature and of the power of love.

If you are interested in seeing your wedding featured in a future issue of IDWN Online Magazine contact Pac Lorefield or email us at idoweddingnetworksl@gmail.com

Razzles and Ron Ronâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

1. HPC - Dance with me, my love 2. Chapel of Dreams - You’re the apple of my eye, my sweet darling pumpkin pie! 3. Something New - On this Autumn Wedding day he placed her upon a pedestal of love 4. Enchante Amour Weddings - Over the river, away from the woods....to get Enchanted. 5. B. Barbie Style - I am a classic 6. Charima’s Designs - “The best way to SPICE up your LOVE life is with a little something sexy.” 7. Dreamscape Wedding Design - Sugar and spice and all things nice that’s where you’ll find the gift.

8. image essentials - I just love to snuggle. 9. ~*~ Inspired ~*~ - A Tisket, a tasket, the prize is in the basket.... 10. MC Fashion - Red is divine 11. .:K&B:. Kaitudes and Boneisms - Summer loving had me a blast Summer loving happened so fast I met a girl crazy for me Met a gnome cute as can be.. 12. Unforgettable Temptations - I see Wrapped boots, red is such a beautiful color 13. Eversong Wedding Boutique - Under an acorn or two... 14. Razzles & RonRon’s – Check Hint Vendor 15 .FashionNatic - Mirror mirror on the wall!! 16. The :Madness: Within - “Time for a Break? Take a load off...” 17. [Bubble Hut] - “Who doesn’t like FREE things?” 18. [:: JesyDream ::] - “Anita” 19. Naked - Ahh! Don’t sit on me! O_o 20. .::Pixel Snobs::. - I wonder what they are going to put on all these hangers? 21. PDN’s Potpourri - Autumn is my favorite time of year, I love to watch the leaves change color 22. Wedding-2-Go - under the pink pumkin 23. Cazimi - Look for the sequins 24. LC DESIGNS - I am between BEADED and FLUER 25.Deluxe Body Factory - Enlight yourself!

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If you would like to advertise in our next issue please contact Pac Lorefield or Marla Marx in Second Life. You can also email us at www.idoweddingnetworksl@gmail.com