IGLYO on 30 by IGLYO International LGBTQ Youth & Student Organisation

IGLYO O N 30 YEARS

AUTUMN 2014 ISSUE 26

CONTENTS 1

Intro

Better safe than sorry: my typical IGLYO experience Denis Juul van Hoof

Fight the IGLYO blues – Stay involved! Bjorn Van Roozendaal

Never leave IGLYO out Alon Chen

Dashes of IGLYO

IGLYO: Life changing, to say the least Bruno Selun

IGLYO: more than an activism experience Karoline Burner

A note from the past, for the future

On 05-12-06, 21.00, “jasna magic” jmagic@xxxxx.com wrote Contributors Denis Juul van Hoof, Bjorn Van Roozendaal, Alon Chen, Thomas, Dennis, Angel, Anna Kirey, Bruno Selun and Karoline Burner. Design www.haiwyre.com

This resource has been produced with the support of the Progress Programme of the European Union, the Council of Europe European Youth Foundation and the Government of the Netherlands. The information contained in this publication does not necessarily reflect the position of the funders.

INTRO In 2011, I had my first contact with IGLYO. I went to a conference, and I fell in love—with IGLYO. Out of a past of working with LGBTQ youth organisations locally, I joined the international movement in a flash, and I haven’t look back since. IGLYO is the people that meet, the inspiration shared, the friends that go with us forever. IGLYO is tools for advocacy, capacity building gained, the knowledge of LGBTQ rights, youth rights and human rights. IGLYO makes each activist involved a better LGBTQ rights activist. This year, we celebrate 30 years of becoming better activists. As a part of this celebration, we present IGLYO on 30 Years. This publication combines testimonies of experiences shared by people that lived IGLYO throughout three takes. We get a glimpse of the impact that IGLYO has had on their lives. Many have continued working as LGBTQ activists, some have moved to the Council of Europe or EU institutions, and others carry the perspectives of IGLYO into jobs across society. We hope you enjoy this look into the lives of IGLYO alumni, old and young. We thank everyone who contributed to this issue with your stories and experiences. Let’s take IGLYO into the next 30 years of impacting people’s lives and helping LGBTQ youth and students all over the world. Alexa Santos Membership Officer IGLYO Board Member 2014

BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY: MY TYPICAL IGLYO EXPERIENCE DENIS JUUL VAN HOOF In 2007, I was a member of the prep team that organised the study session “Building Bridges to the Unknown: Encouraging Dialogue between LGBT and Faith Based Communities”.

The location of the study session was the European Youth Centre in Budapest, Hungary. At the time of IGLYO’s study session, there was another study session at the Youth Centre called “Leadership among ethnic minority youth”. Youth from all over Europe attended! Since the two study sessions were sharing the youth centre, the prep teams decided to hold an introductory session. Completely in line with IGLYO’s safe sex policy, the subject (and free distribution) of condoms and dental dams needed to be addressed. We decided that this might be interesting to both groups, not just the IGLYO participants. During the preparation, I was asked to present the sex education part. I had no problem with this, as I had worked in a sexual health expertise centre and was comfortable talking about sex. So at the end of the session, I took the floor. I was explaining IGLYO’s policy on safe sex and pointed out the spaces in the Youth Centre where free condoms and dental dams could be found. I felt the audience wasn’t familiar with sex being talked about so openly, but also that many of them had no idea of what a dental dam was. I decided to take one out of the wrapper and show it. I explained how it worked and how it can be used. The audience was giggling, but paying attention. I loved throwing in some jokes to lighten the atmosphere, but I also emphasised that if anyone had any questions they were more than welcome to ask me and that there is no such things as a silly or stupid question. They didn’t have to ask in front of the audience, and they could come to me, since I would be at the Youth Centre for the next week. During that week the condom distribution was a success and even some dental dams disappeared from the places where we left them. But the biggest success to me was, I got some questions from participants of both study session groups. Individual participants came up to me that week and shared serious dilemmas and questions regarding safe sex, virginity, pregnancy and lesbian sex. I felt honoured that they felt safe enough to come to me and ask these questions that would have otherwise gone unanswered. Often I think back of this experience. And I know this experience was and probably still is, only possible during an IGLYO study session. Denis Juul van Hoof Prep team member “Building Bridges to the Unknown”, Encouraging Dialogue between LGBT and Faith Based Communities”, 2007

FIGHT THE IGLYO BLUES â&#x20AC;&#x201C; STAY INVOLVED! BJORN VAN ROOZENDAAL I joined IGLYO in 2003, during a conference on Prides in Lisbon. In the plane to Lisbon I felt privileged about being given the opportunity to travel abroad for my activism. But I was also afraid about what to expect. Having only worked with the LGBT youth magazine Expreszo I did not consider myself an experienced activist, and the idea of meeting frontline human rights defenders somewhat scared me. Happily, I was proven wrong. I met likeminded young people from across the continent. Many people volunteered in their free time, sharing the idea for a world in which everybody could grow up safely no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity. People enjoyed long conversations on what activism is all about, but also enjoyed dancing through the night, drinking caipirinhas till dawn in Lisbonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beautiful Barrio Alto. And returning back to conversations about our daily struggles the very next morning. I felt at home. Departing for home, the farewells were heavy; I knew I was so going to miss my new comrades. The IGLYO blues started already at Lisbon airport and would not leave me until I committed to get more involved with IGLYO. First, I

helped organise the next study session, and shortly after that I joined the board. Becoming part of the family felt like a dream come true. In the next year many events and meeting would follow. My nights were filled with work with people who became very close friends—dozens of new people, and a handful who have remained close to me today. Ten years after that first meeting, I’m still seeing many of them. Through IGLYO, these people shaped me into the professional activist who I am today – Programmes Director at ILGA-Europe. IGLYO proved to be a school for learning and a garden for new friendships. Of the many events I was a part of, the most notable is the IGLYO world conference in 2009, back at the house of the organisation I was then working for: the Dutch COC. Seeing close to 100 young activists from across the world being empowered through their shared experiences, their common beliefs…whilst we were preparing sandwiches for all young people and trying to run the logistics with a great team of volunteers. A moment I’ll never forget! IGLYO gave so much to me, and I gave a lot to IGLYO. In essence, that is what makes the organisation thrive: the belief that we’re in the struggle together. That means supporting each other when we have to, laughing, dancing and crying together, but in particular finding out our ways to contribute to that better world. My hope for IGLYO is that many young people in the future can continue to be part of this magic bubble. Happy birthday IGLYO! Bjorn Van Roozendaal Board Member 2004 - 2006

NEVER LEAVE IGLYO OUT ALON CHEN

A decade ago, I landed in Strasbourg for a week that became very significant in my life. The ‘Media Works’ study session was my first conference, and it marks when I fell in love with IGLYO and its people. Shortly after arriving to the European Youth Centre in Strasbourg, I saw what an ideal world could look like. A place where people were who they really are, a place where young LGBTQ activists were empowered to pave the way for others to be who they are, a place full of ideas and passions of a young bunch who wanted to change the world. It was where I learned what leadership could mean, where I made friends for a lifetime and when gained experiences that opened doors for my professional life after. Wanting much more of IGLYO, I spent a few fascinating years with the wonderful communication team. We took it seriously, but we always had fun! Back in 2006, I drafted my first CV. I was undecided whether to include my involvement with IGLYO or not. Minutes after I realized it was such an important aspect of who I was, so of course I put it in. IGLYO and the work we did in the communication team was always of interest to my interviewers. A few months into my search, I started working for Google by leveraging the very same expertise. Eight years later I’m on the steering committee of the ‘Gayglers’ - Google’s LGBT employee network and also Google’s head of Marketing in Israel and Greece. Because of IGLYO, I’m made my identity a part of my professional life. As I said, I owe IGLYO a lot… Alon Chen IGLYO Board Member Tel-Aviv IGLYO Alumni forever!

DASHES OF IGLYO

Personally, my engagement with IGLYO and the European youth structures broadened my horizons and gave me life and professional skills that I have found to be extremely useful for my career development. It also centred my personal and professional commitment to human rights, anti-racism and antidiscrimination, a commitment that has been the red thread running through my volunteering and professional life. Thomas Chairperson of IGLYO 1995

IGLYO had a huge and transformative influence on my life. As part of my activism, I started a gay publishing company with a fellow IGLYO board member where I worked for twelve years. The business is running to this day, merged with the other UK gay publishing house, still publishing Gay Times and Diva plus a chain of shops. It has turned over many millions of pounds and provided employment for hundreds of LGBT people (plus the occasional heterosexual - we had a straight marriage among our employees before the law allowed a gay one!). I feel IGLYOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s impact both in furthering the cause of LGBTQ rights in UK - (our company brought LGBT books and magazines to every UK high street where we had often been invisible, and sponsored Pride and Stonewall) and in furthering my personal development. I was an activist for many years, and later an openly gay businessman. This summer, after twenty-five years together, my husband and I will finally convert our Civil Partnership to a fully equal marriage.

IGLYO has been at the roots of my activism and provided me basic understanding of what it is to be like gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. I still fondly think back about my IGLYO time. Apart from making life-long friendships, I also developed an â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;expertiseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to address LGBT issues in intergovernmental organisations such as the Council of Europe. When I started to work professionally in Council of Europe, the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe, and now at the Fundamental Rights Agency, I was very well prepared. I owe a lot to IGLYO. Dennis Board 1995 -1997

Being gifted with the opportunity to listen to and learn from activists in a wide variety of contexts changed my understanding of activism, my role in it, and the problems with simplified understandings of ‘LGBTQ’ and ‘a movement’. Understanding that there are many movements and many compound and complex identities that make up our beautiful mosaic of a rainbow community now informs my work as a source of strength and connection. In a piece I wrote for IGLYO On after ‘Keep the Faith,’ I reflected what is still so true today: “In the complexity and contradictions we are unique, we hold on to a different truth. We can always share and learn with the other. At the end of the day, it’s most important to remember that we are just humans with much more in common through our most basic need for love, con¬nection, and subsistence. Just as our beliefs are important and sacred to us, they too are to others. In our desire for love, connection, and ac¬ceptance, we can share more of ourselves and experiences with one another to make this complex mosaic a beautiful picture, made whole not only by the places where our tiles touch, but also the gaps in between.” For me, IGLYO has been the glue that has helped me explore and collude the gaps as well as step back see the beautiful picture we make when we work together in celebration of our differences towards our common liberation. Angel Prep Team for the IGLYO 25h Anniversary Conference: “This Is Who We Are” 2009 and facilitator for Keep the Faith: promoting inter-religious and inter cultural dialogue in the LGBTQ youth sector’ 2012.

I was really inspired by IGLYOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s use of non-formal education methods and used them to organize trainings about gender and sexuality in Kyrgyzstan. It was my first time doing Vagina Monologues, and it was amazing to be able to find like-minded queer people to perform with me. I also learned that it was possible to be out and acceptedâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;I met other young people who were just coming out and getting involved in queer activism. I also ended up writing articles for IGLYO publications. IGLYO offered a beautiful and friendly space for me. I met amazing activists and learned so much. I wish I could be under the age limit all over again and participate because each event was such an inspiration. Thank you for making an organization that helps young activists grow, discover their personal and professional identities, and build life time friendships. Anna Kirey Prep Team, Study Session March 2005

IGLYO: LIFE CHANGING, TO SAY THE LEAST BRUNO SELUN Spending a little over three years on the Board of IGLYO influenced my current professional and personal life more than anything I can recall.

IGLYO changed my life by introducing me to insanely great activists—friends I would never have made otherwise—giving me responsibilities I’d have taken years to get, and letting me do volunteer work I truly loved. It let me change a very, very small portion of the world for the better. IGLYO set me on a professional path I’d not have taken otherwise: I had the chance to work for LGBT people’s human rights in the European Parliament for five years, continuing the work started at IGLYO and—hopefully—changing a part of the world again. The job at the LGBT Intergroup was a direct consequence of meeting people and being active in IGLYO. I’m now a consultant on progressive European affairs in Brussels, and enjoying this new project greatly.

IGLYO also gave me an enormous amount of friends, some of them among my closest friends today. I was always sad to leave study sessions and conferences to go back to a less international, less queer, less fun daily life. But my new job meant moving to Brussels, where fellow IGLYO board member Nanna Moe was already working for ILGA-Europe, and where another board member, Björn van Roozendaal, moved a couple of years later. It’s a true blessing to have these amazing people in my daily life. I’ve also met friends I’m still in touch with today: Claire, Augustas, Simon, Virginija, Lucy, Darren, and many more I could cite over pages and pages. I’m very bad at remembering funny anecdotes, but I can say that there was a fair share of late night drinking, talking, putting the world right, and—yes—meeting new lovers as well as friends. The walls of the Council of Europe’s European Youth Centres in Strasbourg and Budapest witnessed countless scenes of late-night dancing, and so many powerful, empowering and life-affirming moments. My sharpest and best memory was leading a day of intergenerational dialogue at IGLYO’s 25th anniversary conference, in Amsterdam, in July 2009. We met people who founded IGLYO, who were active in the 1980s and 1990s, and who brought their pictures, their stories, their lives and their partners with them. While we discussed differences between our generations, we rarely disagreed, crossing a huge generational gap that day. It was beautiful, and the day meant a lot. We were together, understanding one another across generations and society’s preassigned roles, roles that otherwise would never provide for us to talk together. I was truly swept away by the generosity and the wisdom of that sharing moment, in both directions. And I met a true friend, Neal Cavalier-Smith, who was active in IGLYO’s early years and had a profound influence on my life since that day. These years mean a lot to me. They’ve taught me so much more the school ever did, and in such a better way. If I had one thing to tell the current and future generations, it’s to work hard for what you believe is right, take people along with you, and make the world a better place. International youth activism is indescribably special, all the more so in IGLYO. Here’s to 30 more years of a wonderful, beautiful and generous international queer youth activism! Bruno Selun Board Member September 2006 – December 2009 Adviser December 2009 – 2011 From: Strasbourg, France Currently: Consultant on European affairs in Brussels

IGLYO: MORE THAN AN ACTIVISM EXPERIENCE KAROLINE BURNER I got to know about IGLYO in 2011. My organization, Jugendnetzwerk Lambda Berlin-Brandenburg e.V., was in a situation at the time where the conference “Capacity building: achieving outcomes for LGBT youth organizations” that was held in Amsterdam seemed to be just what we needed. So I applied. And when I got the info of being approved, it kind of hit me a little. I would be spending 10 days in an unknown surrounding with people I have never met before, who expect me to deliver input on a relatively professional level. In English. I prepared to travel quite a bit out of my comfort zone. And it’s been the best thing ever. When I look at it now, it wasn’t the conference itself that impressed me the most. Don’t get me wrong, the knowledge and input we got were very important, but it was more the people and their different stories and experiences and that buzzing feeling of forty people from twenty-seven different countries absolutely loving what they do. I learned so much about other organizations in Europe and beyond. I also found it pretty humbling to see what kind of amazing activism is possible with close to no (monetary) resources. I realized that I came from a little queer-

bubble in Berlin, where (in my opinion) one of the many problems is that there are so many LGBTQ-organizations that we sometimes lose focus on what our work really is or should be about. It was motivating, fascinating and all together impressive to see all these examples of projects, initiatives, campaigns and organizations that have impact with little to no money but a load of people who put their heart and soul in it. Apart from all that serious stuff though, these then days were full of fun, laughing, shenanigans and everything else you can think of when a bunch of young people from all over Europe come together in Amsterdam. We discovered the city, we tried fries with peanut sauce at 3 am, I learned that you are not allowed to smoke ‘normal’ cigarettes in bars where you can smoke ‘funny’ cigarettes, and I got the most fabulous sunglasses at Pink Point. It also turned out that I shouldn’t have worried about the awkwardness of sharing a room with unknown people. I got really lucky here, too. These three roomies are still a part of my closest circle of friends. One of my dearest memories from the conference (it still makes me giggle) is that the only time I saw a translator being in action, was when someone from Northern Ireland had to translate what the guy from Scotland was saying. The IGLYO experience also gave me an idea for my professional future. The conference gave me the kick I needed to take the first step in the right direction. So thanks for that, IGLYO! To future members of IGLYO, I would like to say congratulations on being a member, first. Get to know and stay in contact with the board and secretariat and see how you both can get the best outcome of this partnership. Use the opportunities IGLYO is giving. Try to send as many people to the conferences, study sessions or other meetings as possible. It’ll not only give you even more input for your work, but also make happy volunteers! Karoline Burner FCC Committee 2014 – 2016

IA NOTE FROM THE PAST, FOR THE FUTURE

In 2003, I was about to move away from LGBT youth activism. I had been a part of activism through an LGBT youth organisation Legebitra (Slovenia) since 1998. I opted to finish my studies and then figure out what I’d want to do in my life. As the final thing before immersing myself in my thesis, I went to the IGLYO General Assembly in Lisbon and – well, the rest is history. In Lisbon I joined the IGLYO board, together with six other LGBTQ activists and enthusiasts, eager to make a difference. I began a journey that considerably changed, shaped and influenced my life – my attitudes, relationships, my worldview and also my career. And whilst most of my friends and family did not understand what I did or was trying to do, my international family became my teachers and the best university I could have ever attended. Of course there were many challenges in this new journey, such as: have you ever tried to explain what EYF, CoE, EC, HR, or UNCHR stand for or why all these abbreviations are needed over a lunch with your parents? Or how a funding application for European Commission looks like or why you will miss yet another birthday or a wedding because there is a conference or a study session that you simply need to be at? Yes, there were challenges in making IGLYO a considerable part of one’s life - trying to juggle IGLYO and family life was one, struggling with constant funding issues as an organisation was another. But we were also very

lucky to have had passionate, dedicated and resourceful board members who didn’t mind putting organisational needs before their own to secure continuity and sustainability of the organisation. IGLYO was a privilege on so many levels. In addition to being my family, IGLYO considerably influenced my career as a youth worker and a youth leader nationally and internationally. It was also due to IGLYO that I returned to work on a local level in 2005. With international support, Legebitra managed to open a first drop-in centre for LGBT youth in Ljubljana and started developing as a professional LGBT rights advocacy organisation. The organisation presently employs five full time staff, and I worked there as a co-manager between 2007 and 2013. I am still very much part of national and international LGBT activism, and through many international LGBT events I still follow IGLYO’s activities. It seems the organisation is now stronger that it’s ever been. It is good to know that IGLYO has secured the networks, cultivated partnerships and has the resources to be around for future generations of young people who need emotional support and skills building. I know IGLYO has been and might be still is the only safe space for many young people. This is significant, and IGLYO’s advocacy and capacity building resources should only get stronger whilst the organisation continues its mission within the political, social and cultural youth scene in Europe. As for my own experience with IGLYO – I feel it’s best described in the bellow letter that I sent to the preparatory team members two days after the annual conference ‘Constructing Gender’ in Krakow in December 2005. This was also my last conference as an IGLYO board member. Even though the e-mail was written for the preparatory team – it could as well be extended to all the IGLYOites that have also shaped me into a person and an activist I am today.

ON 05-12-06, 21.00, “JASNA MAGIC” JMAGIC@ XXXXX.COM WROTE: My dear prep team, I’m still in the office, having a cigarette & you wouldn’t believe…gin. It was a strange day indeed. Couldn’t sleep yesterday when I got home, so worked on some non-IGLYO related things and eventually passed out at 3am. Then I woke up around 5am not exactly knowing where I was – it was a strange feeling though – as the room seemed smaller, no printers / laptops / papers / clothing / coffee mugs on the floor. It took me quite some time to actually realize that I am not in Krakow anymore - I’m home. As I got to the office for the first time in almost five months the work had nothing to do with logistics for conference, participants, contents etc….which was a shock to my system really, as the office was still the same mess as I left it the day I went to Krakow – folders with applications lying around, phone numbers, post-it notes with to-do list, welcome pack, print outs etc & a big note from my work colleagues – JASNA CLEAN THIS MESS! It was heartbreaking seeing you all leave and we shared so much during this event and even prior to the conference, but we made it in the end & what a ride it was! We should be proud of bringing together a wonderful group of people who will do wonderful things in the future, some may even become IGLYO board themselves and continue this unique spirit which we all managed to generate &

present immensely well. It was exhausting, but the aftertaste compensates for everything. As I have thanked you before already I will conclude by saying that I feel enormously lucky and privileged to have met all you and not only that, but to have worked with you, grew with you and learned from you. If anyone would have said to me several years ago when I attended my first IGLYO event that I will someday be an integral part of IGLYO experience and considerably contribute in the creation of what we now call IGLYO moment, I would not have believed that. But it happened and that was my life & mission for two years. Just thinking of the past two years makes me feel great, it gives me further motivation and energy and empowers me to persist and continue what I set out to. Thank you for all your kind words, your support & your love. Each and every one of you is beyond amazing. Love & Yours, Jx

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