AU Magazine Issue 74

WWW.IHEARTAU.COM

JUNE 2011 SUGAR APE?

MUSIC & REVIEWS

CURRENT AFFAIRS

GIGS & EVENTS

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

FREE

- featuring -

Doing It With The Fans The musicians and filmmakers looking to their audience for funding Fleet Foxes Casey Westcott on that difficult second album

Licensed to Chill Truly Legendary - Zelda 25 years of a gaming icon

The Japanese Popstars Derry’s dance heavyweights on working with their heroes The Minutes Dublin’s rock ‘n’ roll stars shoot from the hip Derry Scene Report Exploring the Maiden City

VILLAGERS | BRIDGES SKATEPARK | KEVIN ELDON | ASPARAGUS | ROCKSTAR GAMES | BATTLES | FERRIS BUELLER | CULTS | ALAN BERG

my inspiration Villagers

So you look around the tiny room and you wonder where the hell you are while the KKK convention are all stranded in the bar they wear hoods and carry shotguns in the main streets of Montgomery but they’re helpless here as babies ‘cause they’re only here on holiday Elvis Costello

Tokyo Storm Warning

Photography by Richard Gilligan Tokyo Storm Warning (1986). Written by Declan MacManus and Cait O’Riordan.

MAGAZINE ISSUE 74 | CONTENTS EDITORIAL Where do the years go? They say time goes faster as you get older, and if that’s true then it would explain why despite it being eight years this month since the first issue of AU was published, it still feels like last week. OK, maybe last week is a bit of an exaggeration, but it definitely doesn’t feel like the best part of a decade ago. We still have the same ideals today that we did when we first started out. We still aim to have the best writing, the best design, the best photography, and the best illustration we possibly can. We still get off on promoting Northern Irish and Irish bands alongside the best acts from the world over. We still adore pushing the newest and best bands we can find.

We still dig talking up broader culture that we feel needs a bigger voice. And, most importantly, we still love what we do. It has been an epic journey over the past eight years, with its fair share of ups and downs, but we can confidently say that this is the best that AU has ever been. We simply don’t have enough space to thank every person who has helped get AU to where it is today, but you all know who you are. Without the hard work, dedication and talent of all our contributors to date, and if we didn’t have all the great readers that we do, we simply wouldn’t be here. Thank you so much to every single one of you, here’s to the next eight years. Jonny

UPFRONT News and views from the world of AU

REVIEWS The AU Verdict

Page 4 – Going Out or Staying In Page 8 – Hot Topic: Doing It With The Fans Page 11 – Scene Spirit / Mouthing Off

Page 47 – Album Reviews Page 53 – Young Blood Page 54 – Live Reviews

12 Battles

55 Movie & Game Reviews

ROLL CALL Publisher / Editor-in-Chief – Jonny Tiernan Editor – Chris Jones Business Manager – Andrew Scott Contributing Editors – Francis Jones, Ross Thompson Album Reviews Sub-editor – Patrick Conboy Design – Tim Farrell Illustration – Rebecca Hendin, Shauna McGowan, Mark Reihill Photography – Kieran Frost, Hollie Leddy-Flood, Alan Maguire, Will Neill Contributors Kieran Acharya, Niall Byrne, Patrick Conboy, Brian Coney, Neill Dougan, John Freeman, Lee Gorman, Daniel Harrison, James Hendicott, Andrew Johnston, Adam Lacey, Stevie Lennox, Catherine Maguire, Darragh McCausland, Karl McDonald, Mike McGrath-Bryan, Sarah Millar, Eddie Mullan, Lauren Murphy, Joe Nawaz, Mischa Pearlman, Steven Rainey, Mike Ravenscroft, Eamonn Seoige, Jeremy Shields.

STUPID THINGS SAID THIS MONTH He didn’t even have gravy, he had beans. What’s up with that?

Where’s my cinnamon?

There’s an understated wooden bridge.

Can you grow boobs even if you don’t have nipples?

I like looking at hair products, and then imagine buying them.

I think I’m destined for golf.

It’s like a sexy crack den.

She’s up yr dogs keister like something not wise to get.

I wouldn’t self-touch to Charles And Eddie.

I want to say more stupid things, but shit, I’m too smart.

All we ask ourselves on a night out is ‘are we mutton?

ARE WE MUTTON?!’

Page 13 – Season’s Eatings Page 14 – Bridges Skatepark Page 16 – Roccer / Playstation Network Page 17 – The Minutes / Tennent’s Vital Page 18 – Cut O’ Ye! Page 19 – Unknown Pleasures /

Oxegen Competition Page 20 – Kevin Eldon Page 22 – Back Of The Net Page 24 – Incoming: The Middle East /

Foster The People / Beaumont / Cults

REWIND AU rolls back the years Page 56 – Flashback: The assassination of

Alan Berg Page 57 – Classic Movie: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Page 58 – Respect Your Shelf: Rockstar Games Page 60 – In Pictures: Mojo Fury album launch /

Trail of Dead

FEATURES AU goes in-depth

Until I’m actually getting seen to it’s not lol anything.

I like those shit.

I love smoking.

What are moon rocks?

If you’d like to stock AU in your business, or you live in an area where AU isn’t currently stocked, but you’d like to see it available, then drop info@iheartau.com a line. We’ll sort you out.

To advertise in AU Magazine contact the sales team Tel: 028 9032 4888 or via email: andrew@iheartau.com The opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of the editor or the publisher. Copyright remains with the author / photographer / designer.

Send demos / mail / material to: AU Magazine, 2nd Floor, 21 Ormeau Avenue, Belfast, BT2 8HD For more info contact: info@iheartau.com For all general and editorial enquiries call: 028 9032 4455 AU Magazine graciously acknowledges funding support from the Arts Council Of Northern Ireland

26 A to Z of Divas Page 30 – Arctic Monkeys Page 32 – Fleet Foxes Page 34 – The Japanese Popstars Page 36 – Zelda

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62 The Last Word: Villagers

THE BLU-RAY

Akira This future noir is widely considered to be as important a piece of animation as Snow White or Toy Story, which is surprising given its subject matter: a post-apocalyptic neo-Tokyo is in the grip of political unrest, rival cyberpunk gangs and psychic warfare. While certainly not for everyone, anime fans will revel losing themselves in the convoluted plot whilst others will lap up the stunning visuals and appropriately evocative soundtrack. RT

STAYING

IN

Akira Collector’s Edition Blu-Ray is released on June 27.

SertOne – Versions THE FREE ALBUM

As well as grabbing attention with his excellent debut EP The View From Above earlier this year, Portadown-raised, Liverpool-based hip-hop producer SertOne is also a feverishly prolific remixer, constantly airing new mixes – both official and unofficial – via his social network pages. For convenience’s sake, though, it’s nice to have them all in one place, and now we do, as he has released a free 15-track compilation entitled Versions. Check it out for Dilla-flavoured remixes of Crystal Castles, DOOM, Busta Rhymes and Halves among others. CJ Download Versions at sertone.bandcamp.com

Duke Nukem Forever THE GAME

Trapped in development limbo for longer than the average Guns N’ Roses album, Duke Nukem Forever is finally released to chew bubblegum, kick ass and stop aliens from abducting Earth’s women. Few other games have been burdened with the weight of such expectancy but advance word is that the game is every bit as outrageously violent and inappropriately misogynistic as ever. Daily Mail journalists are sharpening their knives already. RT

Released for PC, PS3 and Xbox 360 on June 10.

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Fancy a night cocooned at home? This lot should keep you busy…

The Blizzard THE PUBLICATION

Last year, in a Sunderland pub after watching his beloved Black Cats beat Bolton 4-0, Guardian football writer Jonathan Wilson devised something new – a “part-magazine, part-book” that would provide a space for indepth pieces, detailed reportage, history and analysis. Enlisting some of the best football writers on the planet, The Blizzard is the result, a quarterly publication available in beautifully rendered print or as a downloadable pdf. Issue One is out now. CJ

THE BOOK

The True Adventures Of The World’s Greatest Stuntman You might not know his name but you certainly will recognise Vic Armstrong’s work as a stuntman. He risked his life doubling for Indiana Jones, James Bond and Superman and broke most of the bones in his body throwing himself through windows, and off buildings and moving cars. His memoir is a riveting account of both the world’s most dangerous occupation and a fond paean to the kind of breathtaking physical stunts Hollywood doesn’t perform anymore. RT

www.theblizzard.co.uk

Out now from Titan Books.

Google Chrome OS

Bumpy Road

Not content with merely dominating the web, Google has announced that its operating system known as Chrome OS is ready for public consumption.

It may look like just a trumped up version of Google Chrome (in many respects, it is) but its emphasis on speed, online ‘cloud’ (as opposed to physical) storage, security and a simple user experience may find favour among technophobes. PK

Those cursed with big muckle hands should know that most iPhone games don’t work because your fingers always block your vision. This adorable app solves that persistent problem by requiring one sole digit. You use it to manipulate the landscape of a toytown world to allow a dinky car for two lovers to continue on their merry way. Like all simple concepts, it’s unspeakably addictive and made all the more endearing by its colourful art style and music box soundtrack. RT

THE GADGET

THE APP Acer and Samsung release the first netbooks with Chrome OS on June 15

Bumpy Road is out now for iPhone (as well as Mac and PC)

Luther THE TV SHOW

Thanks to the reinvented Sherlock and the absorbing The Shadow Line, British television is enjoying quite the revival.

That purple patch should spread with the second series of Luther, the cophunts-serial-killers drama starring Idris ‘Stringer Bell’ Elba as the troubled inspector. It’s silly and formulaic but thoroughly entertaining, a quality lost upon the current glut of repetitive talent and house improvement shows, and enlivened no end by Luther’s sexually charged relationship with a psychopathic scientist. It takes great talent to create something so deceptively disposable. RT

Luther is broadcast on BBC1 in June.

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CELTRONIC

FESTIVAL

Celtronic has long been a staple of summers in Derry, as various venues in the city are taken over

by DJs and live electronic acts for a few heady days in the middle of summer. Now in its 11th year and running from June 29 to July 3, the electronic festival continues with a line-up as strong as ever.

Previous years have seen heavyweights such as Dave Clarke, Andrew Weatherall and Celtronic stalwart Tom Middleton tear up the city, and this year’s line-up looks like it could be the best yet, with the full range of electronic music represented.

The 2011 headliners include techno from Detroit legend Carl Craig and Sweden’s Jesper Dahlbäck, while on the leftfield side of things there is Ninja Tune stalwart Luke Vibert and Rhythm & Sound acts Pariah and Blawan. But what is arguably most impressive this year is the line-up of local acts, showing just how healthy the scene is in the North.

Artists like Phil Kieran, Screendeath, Boxcutter, Psycatron and Space Dimension Controller each rub shoulders with the leaders in their respective fields. All told, it promises to be as good a long weekend as you’re likely to have all summer. AS

GOING OUT

www.celtronicfestival.com

TOUR

FESTIVAL

POP -UP SHOP

ASH

SEA SESSIONS

REFOUND

Therapy? recently announced plans to record their 11th full-length album, but they aren’t the only Northern Irish power trio still plugging away. Nope, after completing their A to Z singles series, Ash herald their return with three Irish dates in June.

They’re built to last in these parts. The band – back to the core trio of Wheeler, Hamilton and McMurray after Bloc Party’s Russell Lissack spent a period moonlighting on guitar – will play Dublin, Portrush and Belfast, supported on all three dates by Belfast riff machine LaFaro, as well as The Plea. CJ

Yet another example of why you don’t need to traipse across Europe to find something a bit different. The Sea Sessions surf and music festival, running from June 24-26 in Bundoran, Co. Donegal, has a great feel to it, largely due to its fantastic seaside setting.

This year’s bill sees performances from Villagers, The Go! Team, Ziggy Marley, Grandmaster Flash and Cashier No.9, but the main attraction for us is how well the organisers combine the music element with all the other activities, from surfing competitions, Ramp Rage demos and beach soccer kickabouts to just generally hanging out in the dunes. AS

You know when you walk into someone’s house and you can spot the pieces of Ikea furniture?

Admittedly, this is because there is a fair chance you own a piece yourself. It kinda sucks. Imagine if instead of having identikit, bland pieces you had individual, unique one-off pieces in your house. If this sounds good to you, then you should pay a visit to the Refound Pop-Up Shop from June 15-20 at 8 Castle Lane, Belfast. Here, artists have taken reclaimed home furnishings and accessories and added their artistic flair to make something new and unique. Environmentally friendly, and original – what more do you want? JT

www.seasessions.com

www.refoundonline.com

Ash play Whelan’s, Dublin on June 6 (sold out), Playhouse, Portush on June 7 and the Empire, Belfast on June 8.

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AU’S PICKS OF THE BEST GIGS, CLUBS AND EVENTS

FESTIVAL

CINEMA

FESTIVAL

OPEN HOUSE FESTIVAL

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

WILLOWSTONE

Now in its 13th year, Belfast’s number one folk and roots festival Open House has vacated its usual September slot in favour of high summer, setting up in Custom House Square from June 22-26. And high summer would appear to suit the sweet, sweet harmonies of Fleet Foxes, who top the bill with a Marquee show on the 25th. Support comes from The Low Anthem and Villagers, while the other big names are Laura Marling and Alabama 3, whose acoustic incarnation will provide the soundtrack for the returning Chillifest.

Elsewhere the bill is awash with top names from the folk, bluegrass and Americana scenes, while in local pubs there will be traditional sessions galore. CJ

After the abysmal The Last Stand, people weren’t exactly clamouring for a new X-Men film, despite the comic being one of the coolest collections of superheroes in the Marvel canon. That all changed, however, with the news that the prequel First Class is directed by Matthew Vaughan, the talent responsible for last year’s Kick-Ass, and has a superlative cast: January Jones, James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence playing younger, less bitter versions of everybody’s favourite mutants. Advance word is excellent so this might be a superhero film worth getting excited about. RT

Boutique festivals are becoming something of a speciality in Northern Ireland, and none finer than Willowstone on July 1-2. The attractions? Well, number one is the stunning setting near Strangford Lough, plus the walled garden, which will play host to live art, kids’ circus workshops, yoga and belly dancing classes, craft and a food village. Then there’s the music. Beatboxer extraordinaire Shlomo is joined by Belfast party-starters Not Squares at the top of the bill, and they are joined by The Minutes, Pocket Billiards, Robyn G Shiels, Inishowen Gospel Choir and more. A grand weekend away – let’s hope the sun shines. CJ

www.openhousefestival.com

X-Men: First class is released on June 3.

www.willowstonefestival.com

CLUB

TOUR

GIG

AU VS GLIDER

GOLD PANDA

HERCULES AND LOVE AFFAIR

Here at AU, we like to bring the party. Our publisher Jonny Tiernan does it every Friday night at his Gigantic club in Belfast, and I like to think I do my bit by monopolising the office stereo every day of the week. Now, for one night only, we get to impose our tastes on the good people of Dublin. On June 24, Jonny and I will be taking over the decks at the Workman’s Club’s fantastic Glider night, alongside the regular DJs. Only one of us can DJ, so watch out for embarrassing fuck-ups, but at least the tunes will be good… CJ

Known only by his unusual first name, Derwin, electronic producer Gold Panda has been touring hard on the back of his acclaimed debut album Lucky Shiner (named after his grandmother, rather improbably). This month Derwin embarks on a four-date tour of Ireland, taking in Belfast, Galway and Cork before finishing up at the Workman’s Club in Dublin on June 11. By all accounts, his live show puts the accent on the dancefloor-centred side of his music rather than the textured, twinkling electronica. So expect a party. CJ

Hercules and Love Affair spoiled many a Paddy’s Night party with the cancellation of their Dublin gig in March, but fear not disco fiends: the New York glitter crew are back with a rescheduled date.

Anyone who saw their Electric Picnic show in 2008 will know what to expect – Studio 54 brought to life right here in Ireland, with Andy Butler conducting things from the back of the stage, his live band blending killer grooves into each other, and the vocalists leading the party out front with more flamboyant action than you can shake a feather boa at. CJ

check on.fb.me/gliderclub for details.

Gold Panda plays Auntie Annie’s, Belfast on June 8, Roisin Dubh, Galway on June 9, The Pavilion, Cork on June 10 and the Workman’s Club, Dublin on June 11.

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Hercules and Love Affair play the Button Factory, Dublin on June 10.

Andrew Johnston meets the resourceful artists who are cutting out the middlemen of labels and studios to make music and movies with their followers’ cash.

Words by Andrew Johnston Illustration by Rebecca Hendin

In the olden, golden days, you needed a chequebook-waving A&R man or a cigar-chomping impresario to get a record or a movie made. Since the advent of the internet, all that has changed. A growing number of canny artists are sidestepping labels and studios, instead targeting their fan base directly for funds. Investors are rewarded not just with the fuzzy feeling of seeing their name in the liner notes or in the credits, but often also with specially commissioned mementoes.

A Perfect Circle and Devo drummer Josh Freese financed his 2009 solo album Since 1972 by punting investor packages, including a $75,000 deal that would see a deep-pocketed fan join Freese on tour for a few days, take home any one of his drum kits, “take shrooms and cruise Hollywood in Danny from Tool’s Lamborghini” and have the ex-Guns N’ Roses/Nine Inch Nails man join their band for a month, play shows and record a CD together.

At a slightly less gonzo level, prog rock legends Marillion have gone from chart-storming, EMIsigned pop stars in the 1980s to a veritable DIY cottage industry in the Noughties, relying on their hardcore followers to finance their time-changeladen activities. In 1997, they raised $60,000 (approximately £37,000) to fund a US tour, while their 2001 album Anoraknophobia was recorded using the spoils from 12,000 pre-orders.

In Ireland, several new musicians and filmmakers are getting in on the act. Belfast-based writer and director Phil Harrison has set up a company, Manifesto Films, to make what he describes as “proper Irish indie film”, using pledges from the public. Eschewing the usual funding bodies, Harrison hopes to generate enough money to produce his newest work, The Good Man, in Ireland and in South Africa.

“It’s early days yet, but so far the response has been very encouraging,” he says. “We could have gone to larger production companies, or statutory bodies, but often people find themselves up against a wall with funding organisations. I wanted to see if we could do something genuinely independent. People who buy in essentially own a little bit of the film, and the level that people can buy in at is relatively small – you don’t need to be rich to get involved.”

It’s an ambitious project, but Harrison and his team – producer Susan Picken, also the head of Queen’s Film Theatre in Belfast, and financial advisor Stephen Orr, a former manager of Duke Special – aim to build a community around The Good Man, in which everyone involved has a stake in the film.

They are offering 400 shares at £150 apiece, giving a total production budget of £60,000, with no salaries coming out for Harrison and co. “I continue to work as a designer and photographer to keep myself in beer and bread,” shrugs Phil.

Any profits will be divvied up between the investors (40%), the company (30%), the cast and crew (20%), and 10% to a township trust for local creative types. In addition to the potential financial return, all investors will receive a signed DVD and score, an invitation to a special screening, access to a production blog, and their names in the credits.

Some will even get the chance to visit the set or appear as extras.

new magazine, The Manual, using public pledges.

The publication aims to take a fresh look, in print, at design on the web, with each issue boasting “six substantial, beautifully illustrated feature articles, along with several additional pages of rich material”.

Andy’s campaign, run through the website Kickstarter, raised $53,290 (£32,935) – significantly exceeding his $40,000 (£24,720) target.

Meanwhile, in Dublin, experimental musician Laura Sheeran has teamed up with another site, PledgeMusic – kind of a JustGiving for struggling musos. Laura received 181 pledges towards the release of her debut album, Lust Of Pig And The Fresh Blood, ranging from €10 (£8.60) to €500 (£430). “I was delighted I got that many,” she smiles. “I think when you’re used to having no money all the time it’s hard to imagine that anyone would ever give so much in exchange for a credit on your album or a gig in their house.”

Laura was happy to sign up with PledgeMusic, but she ignored some of its stranger suggestions for investment incentives. “I couldn’t imagine why anyone would like to pay €25 to have a cup of tea with me, for example,” she laughs. “But I had one pledge for a gig in their house – which we have already done, and it was so much fun – and I had about eight or nine pledges on personalised song recordings, which was great.”

Yet Harrison’s primary concern is making a movie that people will want to pay to see – and he feels it is not beyond reason. “There is, I feel, still a strong demand for films which don’t simply follow a Hollywood or blockbuster style,” he says. “I don’t mean obscure, deliberately difficult art house fare – which can be just as hard to watch as Legally Blonde 7 – but well-crafted, well-written, smaller films – like The Good Man.”

And while the pledge system can perhaps be seen as a natural extension of punk’s efforts to break down the barrier between musician and fan, Laura believes there is more to it: “When people follow these campaigns they really get to see the amount of work that goes into making an album, the huge costs involved and the part they play in making it possible for the music to continue being made. It is reinstating the value of music for those who may have lost it from the boom of free downloading.”

Other artists on the same page include Northern Ireland web design guru Andy McMillan, of Fiction and Build fame, who is set to launch a

www.thegoodmanfilm.com www.alwaysreadthemanual.com www.laurasheeran.com

FUNDS, FUNDS, FUNDS Other outside-the-box ways to get your art out there Volunteer For Medical Research As done by: Guns N’ Roses While writing what would become the 28-million-selling Appetite For Destruction, Axl Rose and co slept in a 15-by-20-foot storage space, earning a living by smoking cigarettes in medical trials for $8 a day and raiding comatose girlfriends’ handbags.

Max Your Credit Cards As done by: Kevin Smith

Industrious auteur Kevin Smith financed his breakthrough movie Clerks by borrowing from family and friends, flogging his comic book collection and juggling a slew of credit cards. It’s fair to say he has probably since cleared his balance, plus interest.

Steal As done by: The Sex Pistols

The fledgling punks half-inched their amps and guitars while posing as roadies at David Bowie’s 1973 Spiders From Mars farewell gigs. Guitarist Steve Jones even used Mick Ronson’s erstwhile Gibson Les Paul to record Never Mind The Bollocks…

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Hire A Rich Band Member As done by: Nirvana

Penniless Kurt Cobain saw ‘rhythm guitarist’ Jason Everman coming, asking him to stump up the $606.17 Nirvana needed to record debut album Bleach. Everman was repaid with a credit on the LP, even though he didn’t play a note.

SCENE SPIRIT: DERRY In the first of our scene reports to take in what Northern Ireland has to offer, Derry resident Paul Mullin gives us the lowdown on the Maiden City.

THE WONDER VILLAINS

OUR KRYPTON SON

A close knit musical community that encompasses everything from metal to electronica, with the perfect blend of established acts and newcomers, the Derry scene continues to grow and attract more attention. And with UK City Of Culture status in 2013, the city could well be on the cusp of greatness.

Stalwarts: Fighting With Wire and The Japanese Popstars still fly the flag for Derry, whilst two of the city’s best known songwriters Conor Mason and Our Krypton Son (aka Christopher McConaghy) have impending releases on Broken Atom records, an independent label the two have set up together.

Here Comes The Landed Gentry keep the ball rolling as the city’s finest purveyors of rock ‘n’ roll, while Rion and Johnny from the band have recently launched an exciting alt.country side project called The Murder Balladeers. Another side-project making waves is that of Conor O Kane from the folk outfit Ard Ri, who has just released his first solo album under his banjo led punk poet pseudonym Teknopeasant. Classic rock enthusiasts Swanee River have released their debut LP Smoking Jacket whilst lo-fi experimental pop act Mars Field, who

Photo by Paula Gillespie

first formed in 1992, are currently going through something of a renaissance. Veteran songwriters and former band mates Declan McLaughlin and Paddy Nash have just released new material, while at the heavier end of the spectrum Triggerman still lead the way as Derry’s premier metal outfit.

Newcomers: Synth-pop funsters The Wonder Villains, fresh from supporting The Human League, have seen their reputation in the city and beyond grow. Solo acoustic artist Rainy Boy Sleep goes from strength to strength and is confirmed for a slot at this year’s Glastonbury festival. Bright and breezy rock ‘n’ roll comes in the form of The Q, whilst The Flying Castros are making headway with their infectious, hook-laden indie-pop. The city is also blessed with a burgeoning electronic scene; Dollface Devereux has shown much promise on his first few electro infused productions. On a more ambient tip Ryan Vail and DD (real name David Doherty) lead the way, the latter of whim has just had an EP released through Subspine Records. The Crimson Underground and Arkeye have shown themselves to be Derry’s foremost leftfield beat makers.

Venues & Clubs: The clubbing scene is arguably the strongest it’s ever been with pillars of the rave community Deep Fried Funk still leading the way, ably supported by Jika

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CONTEXT GALLERY

Jika, La Musique and Global Virus, all of which are steadily filling the dance floors. The supreme Beatnik Soul and Indie Rock N Roll provide a rockier kind of night in venues across the city. The Nerve Centre has recently had a welcome facelift and continues to be the place to go for gigs, having hosted the likes of Spiritualized, Gomez, The Beta Band and Pete Doherty. Mason’s has also just had some renovations and joins Sandino’s in providing the town’s other gigging institutions.

Places To Go: One of the North’s best well known independent record stores, Cool Discs, is always worth a visit when in town, whilst Cafe Del Mondo, as well as being one of the tastiest eateries in town, also hosts the city’s most renowned open mic night and the legendary Bounce nights. Bedlam Market provides something a little different as the town’s vintage, antique and arts centre. Fantastic art installations have been showcased in the Context gallery and The Void gallery in recent years and art aficionados will also be pleased to hear that the Turner Prize is coming to the city as part of the UK City of Culture celebrations in 2013.

Andrew Johnston vents his considerable spleen for your pleasure

This is my last Mouthing Off. I’ve been penning this column, on and off, since the first issue, back in June 2003 – scarily, that’s eight years of rants and bullshit. I will miss venting my considerable spleen for your pleasure, but all half-decent things must come to an end.

The time is long overdue for me to stop fucking about and start writing my book, Rock Bottom – the story of one man’s misadventures in the septic tank of rock ‘n’ roll. It’s the incidentladen tale of 850 Dangerfields gigs in 11 years, covering half a million miles across 13 countries, with a cast of 45 members, half a dozen police forces and one dead porn star. There are arrests, injuries, sexual mishaps and more wretched shenanigans than you could shake a bottle of Orange Jubilee Mad Dog 20/20 at.

And for those readers who couldn’t give a fat, stinking damn about The Dangerfields – which, I suppose, will be most of them – there are a plethora of rock star encounters to report.

Somehow my band and I managed to gatecrash the orbit of everyone from Ash and Therapy? to Joe Strummer and Lemmy.

But it’s not just going to be a stream of hoary, name-dropping anecdotes.

Rock Bottom should be an inspiring yarn for anyone who has ever gone after their dream, crashed, burned and discovered that, actually, they rather like the pain. The chase is better than the catch, and all that. And there

might even be a cameo appearance from that old chestnut, love.

I’m giving myself a year. If it’s not finished by June 1, 2012, you have my permission to strangle me with my own socks.

And as well as cobbling together 300 pages of self-aggrandising twaddle, there will be more stand-up comedy.

Since debuting as a would-be funnyman in February, I’ve played 12 gigs, with more on the way. It’s going well, if you consider walkouts, venue bans and near-fights ‘well’. Northern Ireland is certainly living up to its mantle of the UK region least likely to approve of offensive humour, as suggested in a recent poll. Either that, or I’m, just really, really shite.

Still, it got me a slot in the spoken word tent at this year’s Pigstock Festival, in Killinchy – the festivalgoer’s festival.

No funding, no corporate branding, no attempts by Nelson McCausland to shoehorn southern gospel or proIsraeli diatribes into proceedings – just a bunch of musicians, comics, poets and drunken maniacs, in a field, having a good time.

I was able to tread the boards alongside a whack of bands who used to gig with The Dangerfields, including main-stage headliners And So I Watch You From Afar, who I’m proud to say played their first ever show opening for us in Portrush, in front of about seven people. Or, as I like to call it, Chapter 7, Page 14…

Battles: “We’ve lost absolutely nothing” Tyondai Braxton has left the band, but Battles have returned with the album of their lives

Battles are back with Gloss Drop, the follow-up to their 2007 debut Mirrored.

The band spent more than a year and half developing new material before vocalist and guitarist Tyondai Braxton left in August 2010. The remaining trio – Dave Konopka, Ian Williams and John Stanier – completed the album, writing and recording 12 new tracks in just four months.

“Battles was four unique people,” says Stanier. “But we were fighting for real estate within a song, which was fine, as far as you can say that’s what made us what we were. But after a while it was getting ridiculous. As a three-piece it’s so much more focused. We’re definitely on the same page now.

“Everything’s much easier,” he continues. “Not that it was easy to make the record. It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. But it was not a team effort before, let’s put it that way. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t feel like we’ve lost anything. We have only gained.”

Recorded in the same Rhode Island studio as Mirrored, Gloss Drop features more of Battles’ adventurous, forward-thinking rock. The album is released worldwide by Warp Records, who also released Braxton’s solo 2009 record Central Market. Vocal duties on Gloss Drop are taken up by four guest singers, including Gary Numan on the song ‘My Machines’.

Innovative vocalist and Kompakt Records founder Mathias Aguayo sings on the song ‘Ice Cream’, with happy grunts and joyful un-English syllabic chants.

“Mathias demoed his ideas for the song,” says guitarist Ian Williams, “and we reacted favourably.

I told him, ‘Don’t hold back’.”

“We were very lucky with the vocalists we chose,” says Stanier. “Mathias and Gary Numan are completely removed from Battles’ universe. In a weird way the vocals were the easiest part. Just as simple as asking. They’re like, ‘Yup, here you go’.

Boom. Awesome. Thank you.”

‘Ice Cream’ has been released with a summery montage video, created by Canada, the Spanish collective whose directors have made videos for ‘Invisible Light’ by Scissor Sisters and ‘What You

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Know’ by Two Door Cinema Club. Battles flew to Spain to record their performance in a four-hour take. The video has a 1970s feel, but is made of allnew footage filmed in and around Barcelona.

“We flew to Barcelona at six in the morning,” says Stanier. “We saw the Mediterranean for about two seconds as we drove by, all the way to this warehouse where there’s about 150 people waiting for us with the sets.”

“You can pick up on a lot of opposites in the video,” says Williams. “A cactus and a balloon, or cold icecream in a hot bath. It’s really smart. All these images of cones. The shape of an ice-cream cone keeps getting made using overlays. The more you watch, the more you see.” Kiran Acharya Gloss Drop is out now on Warp. Battles perform at the Forbidden Fruit festival, Kilmainham, Dublin, on Sunday, June 5. www.bttls.com

SEASON’S EATINGS Summer is upon us, and with it the tantalisingly brief asparagus season. Here’s how to enjoy Shakespeare’s ‘heavenly spears’ at their best.

Considering all the vegetables, I’d doubt that there is one quite so fetishised as asparagus – and there are many reasons why chefs, cooks, and gourmands go doolally for this unique stalk. For a start, the British and Irish asparagus season is tiny, a bare window of weeks rather than months. Asparagus also has a remarkably unusual taste that is, at the same time, subtle beyond

belief, and which mocks written description. The closest I can ever manage, with plenty of tongue-tied umming and ahhing, is that it has ‘a kinda sweet-savoury greenish tang’, which probably makes the flavour sound less appealing than bronchial mucus. Yet trust me, there really is an indescribable wow factor associated with the taste of this particular green.

Asparagus, Fried Potato and Gruyère Tart The asparagus season is so short that there is nothing wrong with cooking little else for a few weeks if you are a fan. It is very versatile, working fantastically in salads, grills, risottos, light meat dishes and, at the end of the season when it’s a bit tough, in soup. The following recipe puts the asparagus centre-stage as part of a decadent vegetarian pie that would make a fulsome lunch, or even a light dinner when served with salad. If this dish could be summed up in two words, then those words should be “wow, asparagus.”

Serves 2-3 as a main course 2 medium bunches of fresh asparagus (beware of Peruvian stuff even when ours is in season)

90g of grated gruyère chees (gruyère/mozzarella mixture)

2 medium rooster potatoes (or any all-purpose variety)

4 tablespoons of cooking oil (for sautéeing the potatoes)

1 standard sheet of supermarket puff pastry

Salt and pepper

2 free range eggs

1 small bunch of tarragon (chopped)

Balsamic vinegar (to finish)

100ml fresh cream

Words by Darragh McCausland Photo by Hollie Leddy-Flood THERE’S THIS LITTLE PLACE...

The Quay Co-op 24 Sullivan’s Quay, Cork.

T: +353 (0)21 431 7026 W: www.quaycoop.com

When the Queen recently had a poke around the fine produce in Cork’s English Market, it was hard not to feel sorry for the city’s vegetarians, what with all those heaped pyramids of trotters, drisheen, and sausagemeat at the fore. Thankfully, though, the less carnivorously inclined are well catered for by the Quay Co-op, which not only sells truckloads of artisan vegetarian and vegan grub, but has a roomy vegetarian restaurant too. The menu is affordable, gutsy, and imaginative, with plenty of spicy stewed stuff to satisfy even the most ravenous daytripping meat eaters.

First, preheat your oven to 200 degrees celsius or 190 degrees if it is a fan oven.

Then roll the puff pastry out across some greaseproof paper and place it into a wide, shallow, oven-proof roasting dish. Prick the pastry all over with a fork so that it rises in nice layers. Next, peel and slice your potatoes into rounds as thin as coins using either a mandolin or a very sharp knife. Heat the cooking oil to medium to high heat in a deep pan or saucepan on the hob and fry the potatoes in batches until they are just about, but not quite, golden. Put them aside on kitchen paper as they are done.

In the meantime, cut the asparagus down to the point where the stalks start to go woody, discard the leftovers, and blanch the spears in salted boiling water for about 3 minutes. As soon as they are done, allow them to steam dry in a colander. Time for the tart filling. Beat the eggs and the cream in a bowl until they are nicely combined,

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seasoningly generously with salt and pepper. While doing this, mix in half of the cheese. All of the ingredients are now ready to be assembled onto the tart.

First layer the tart with the potato rounds allowing about a half an inch of bare pastry on all sides. Follow with the asparagus, sprinkling tarragon over the spears if you wish. After all the vegetables are laid out, the edges of the tart can be turned up.

Gently pour the cheese, egg, and cream mixture over the centre of the pie and crumble the remaining cheese over the top, adding more seasoning if necessary.

The pie is now ready for the oven and should not take no longer than 30 minutes to become molten and golden. While the asparagus will undoubtedly steal the show, pay a little attention to the tarragon which adds a tiny pucker of aniseed magic that somehow seals the dish.

UNDER THE BRIDGE

Words by Jonny Tiernan Photos by Will Neill

Brand new, bespoke skatepark opens in Belfast.

Wow. Just wow. Double wow, in fact.

Possibly even triple wow. Flip, we’ll even give it a quadruple wow. More than 30 years since the idea of a permanent, concrete skatepark was first put forward for Belfast, one is open below the M3 flyover just north of the city centre. And not just some small, token park either.

This is a modern, cutting-edge behemoth of a facility, with a massive bowl, ledges, rails, steps and pretty much everything you could ever want. It’s also going to be free to skate there. Did we say wow already? Skateboarding and urban sports in Belfast is about to change overnight, but it took a lot longer than that to get here. JP Matthew, aka Popé, of Belfast Urban Sports and Skateboard:NI, took the time out to fill us in on how this concrete playground came to be.

Whose idea was it to build the skatepark, and how did it come about?

The idea of a permanent concrete skatepark has been around for more than 30 years and in that

time many groups lobbying for parks have come and gone. The new Bridges park has arrived through sheer determination and the combined efforts of enthusiasts from all parts of the urban sports community.

What do you think this will do for skateboarding in Northern Ireland?

It will bring it to a place where most other cities in the UK and a lot of the south of Ireland already are.

It means there is a permanent place to skate and practise tricks, it’s somewhere you know you can go and skate and not be hassled by security guards or the police for skating where you are not wanted.

This park in time will produce rippers like other parks have done – Livi in Scotland has produced some great talent. I expect the same for Bridges park over time.

What has been the reaction from the skateboarding community?

Well they feel they have been hanging on for this project as much as anyone has. Since it was first announced four years ago, projected start dates have come and gone time and time again due to so many delays. They have been through the ringer too, but now a lot of them are in disbelief that it’s actually real, it’s skateable, its permanent and its going nowhere. So most are super-stoked on it.

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What are the plans for the park – will there be competitions, demos and so on?

All the time. To qualify for the funding we got, we agreed to certain criteria that have to be met. These are regular local competitions, regular national competitions, split up over the year for skate, BMX, inline. Demos will happen as once word gets around about the park, pro skaters will come and visit as part of a national tour they are on publicising their company. It’s inevitably going to happen, and I look forward it – big names coming over to tear the park up and put it down.

Is there anything else you would like to add?

It’s a very exciting time for skating in Northern Ireland, over 30 years since the first application for a skatepark that the council received. Many older generation of skaters will be miffed they have missed out, but they haven’t. If they get the board out and have a roll again, they will remember how much fun it was.

They may not be pulling tricks the way they used to, but it will put a smile on their face. This park should be a catalyst for other parks being built – soon I can see [myself] travelling to various little towns in Norn Iron and skating a park in each one. www.skateboardni.org

THE JAPANESE POPSTARS CONTROLLING YOUR ALLEGIANCE INCLUDES 'LET GO', 'SONG FOR LISA' AND 'JOSHUA' OUT 17TH JUNE 2011 — RECEIVE 10% OFF THE ALBUM WITH THIS AD AT HEAD, VICTORIA SQUARE, BELFAST WWW.THEJAPANESEPOPSTARS.CO.UK | WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/THEJAPANESEPOPSTARS | TWITTER: @JAPSTARS 15 AU74

Roccer and Roll

The Antisocial Network

The NI music scene gets its kicks for charity

Playstation online gets hacked to pieces

On a Saturday in June, the Northern Irish music community gets together at an astroturf pitch, dons its football togs and mainly embarrasses itself in the name of charity. Now in its ninth year, Roccer brings together musicians, journalists, promoters and club regulars in a six-a-side tournament for which footballing ability is no barrier.

One story has dominated the videogame headlines this month: the epic fail of the Playstation Network, Sony’s online multiplayer community and store. Once malicious hackers made it their mission to bring it down they initiated a firestorm which even the savviest of PR agencies would struggle to put out. This colossal boo-boo, one of the most grievous in tech history, will not only cost the company millions of dollars, but will also do the Sony brand irreparable harm.

“The guys from the band Panda Kopanda started the tournament in 2003,” explains organiser Rigsy – DJ, presenter of BBC Radio Ulster’s Across The Line show and avid Glentoran fan. “I helped out before getting totally carried away, eventually taking it over, determined to make it bigger every year.” And bigger it has become – this year’s event is as big as the World Cup (well, if you squint) – 32 teams divided into eight groups competing over the course of a frantic few hours of sporting action/hilarity.

As well as the top-notch football and the craic, there is an even better reason for the tournament to be run: charidee.

Rigsy estimates that by the end of this year’s edition, over £20k will have been raised for a variety of good causes. “It’s been a different charity every year, inspired by someone close to me or close to one of the guys who help out,” he says. “This year we’ll be raising money for Smile Train, a charity that helps kids in some of the poorest countries in the world. My sister has worked with the type of kids the charity helps and suggested them this year. The work they do is remarkable.”

But back to the football. As an ardent Glenman, Rigsy is excited about the latest development: no longer will the tournament be played at the Olympia

Leisure Centre’s pitches in south Belfast. Oh no: this year Roccer is to rock up at Seaview, the home of Irish League club Crusaders. “Since they’ve got the [artificial] 4G pitch it’s perfect, and as a massive fan of the Irish League and a regular visitor to Seaview when the Glens are away to Crusaders, I’m absolutely beside myself. It’s a proper stadium!”

And a fitting setting for this year’s bunfights, that bizarre mix of serious young men, indie wimps and, um, complete novices. “There have been loads of memorable incidents over the years,” Rigsy smiles. “Twice, the girls’ team have scored a goal – the first year the scorer celebrated by exposing herself to a very happy crowd. There’s also been a fair amount of controversy – one year a member of a band who I won’t name demanded his money back following a dodgy penalty call. Needless to say, when he calmed down he was mortified.

But to be honest, I always love seeing people take it really seriously. It’s not all about a nice day out or raising money – it should be about the winning!” Chris Jones Third Bar Roccer takes place at Seaview, Belfast on June 18. www.roccer.info

On April 20 gamers tried signing in to their profile for a bash of multiplayer Killzone 3 only to be informed that servers were down for maintenance. Such outages are common while Microsoft or Sony diagnose faults or install updates yet the downtime is most often brief. After two days, bloggers and gaming sites began asking questions, correctly suggesting that the downtime was the result of “an external intrusion”. Sony’s first mistake, other than not ensuring that their security systems were watertight, was to initially keep the information on ice. A few days previously, engineers noticed irregularities in the Network system which could potentially lead to the potential for personal information and credit card details of approximately 70 million users to be compromised.

It took Sony nearly a week to finally admit that this data was at risk. The public understandably went daft.

The repercussions of this cyber attack cannot be overestimated. Third party developers who trade downloadable games on the network will lose millions in revenue while Sony itself faces the prospect of Playstation console sales plummeting. Microsoft, never one to miss a chance to gain a market

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advantage, was quick to point out that Xbox Live was trustworthy and reliable.

The million dollar question, literally, is ‘Who is responsible?’. The most compelling evidence points towards Anonymous, a virtual community of online hack-tivists (translated: vandals and thieves) who took umbrage to Sony filing against George ‘GeoHot’ Hotz, a tech wunderkind who jailbroke the Playstation 3. They have rigorously denied this allegation though Sony engineers have since found a file bearing the group’s credo ‘We Are Legion’. At the time of writing, Anonymous had still not admitted culpability but threatened to launch further attacks on Sony and therefore – and this is where self-righteous hackers shoot themselves in the foot – Playstation users themselves.

As the Playstation Network croaks back into life Sony have offered users a generous ‘Welcome Back’ package including two free games – and good games at that. It’s damage limitation which would never have been necessary had indignant hackers not decided to play pass the parcel with other people’s time and money. Ross Thompson

TIME TO SHINE Dublin rockers The Minutes on finding their voice

The Minutes used to be shit. We’re not being controversial for the sake of it; the Dublin trio describe their early ‘indie’ tunes as exactly that. “We didn’t really have any idea of what we wanted to be,” admits drummer Shane Kinsella.

“The Strokes were the big thing, and everyone wanted to sound like them.

We weren’t The Strokes or Interpol.

Now we’re not trying to be.”

These days the band is a gritty, old-school rock ‘n’ roll act with more in common with the guitar heroes of the Sixties: they’re doing exactly what they want to do. It’s simplistic and feisty, and adds honesty to the music. “We’re a band, now,” says frontman Mark Austin. “We’re doing our own thing, and we’ll keep doing it. We’re not reinventing the wheel, but we’re three lads playing rock ‘n’ roll, our way. Besides, The Who and Led Zeppelin aren’t here anymore. We are.”

Fortunately, debut album Marcata (a musical ‘stress’ in Italian) was written after the band’s latter day transformation. Their boisterous media launch on

the roof of Dublin’s Music Maker drew RTE down to cover proceedings, and the three-piece stirred up the gravel surroundings, nodding and bouncing to the passing police helicopters (guarding the Queen, not The Minutes) and scaring the pigeons from the nearby chimneys. There’s a penchant for the melodramatic shining through, leaving the same sense that came with the band’s boat-deck single launch: big budget or not, The Minutes are going to shy well away from convention.

Which, to be fair, is something that Irish music needs right now. Our up-and-coming rock scene

small piece of fame with charting single ‘Harmonic’ back in 2008, the boys are hungry, and far more comfortable in their current reincarnation. Being older – which in this case doesn’t actually mean all that old – is touted as the ingredient necessary to find yourself musically.

Unsurprisingly, debut Marcata showcases a crude, coarse aural assault, with the band having decamped to the States to obtain an “old school” sound. “We didn’t really tweak the sound much – it’s basically how we play live,” says Austin, “but the American equipment is superior and much more affordable.

“The Who and Led Zeppelin aren’t here anymore. We are.” is held up nicely with pop-rock superheroes (Two Door Cinema Club), instrumental maniacs (ASIWYFA) and punk-rock vigor (Axis Of), but The Minutes do things straight-up, simply and honestly, and they do seem to fill a vacant niche.

Austin even confesses that “things are simpler now”, and that their music “isn’t all that complex”, but simple hooks performed with panache, wrapped around witty lyrics and clever chord progressions can never be bad. Having already found their own

America’s the place to be, and it was an adventure in itself. Recording in upstate New York is automatically different to recording in Stillorgan. It’s special and it takes you out of your comfort zone.” The Minutes have certainly found their nook, and whilst the aim might still be, as bassist Tom Cosgrave puts it, “to play to enough people every night to make a living”, expect Dublin’s liveliest rock band to leave plenty of self-belief and a trail of superlatives behind them in doing so. James Hendicott

Eminem and Odd Future to play Bangor A decade ago, the reams of newsprint and kind of outraged commentary currently reserved for Tyler, The Creator were being directed at a skinny white kid from Detroit. And in August both Eminem and Tyler’s Odd Future crew will play their first ever gigs in Northern Ireland. Along with Kaiser Chiefs, Jimmy Eat World and D12, they are the first confirmed names for the revived Tennent’s Vital festival, to be held at Ward Park, Bangor. Eminem et al will play on the second day, Wednesday, August 24.

For more details, check out www.facebook.com/tennentsvital

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Cut O’ Ye! AU singles out the stylish for pictures and probing

Name: Eric From: Los Angeles Fashion Disaster: Basketball shorts Best gig ever: Eminem at the Bowery Ballroom in New York

Name: Kathryn Dunlop Fashion Disaster: Pink fuchsia trousers with slits at the bottom Best gig ever: Interpol at Brixton Academy in London

Name: Laura Brown From: Belfast Fashion Disaster: 9 times out of 10, I get it right!

Best gig ever: A rave in Islington, I lost a shoe & my sanity!

Picture 6 Picture 7 Picture 8

Name: Christine Tubridy Occupation: Student Fashion Disaster: When I had eyeliner running and broke a shoe on a night out Best gig ever: Yeah Yeah Yeahs at St. George’s Market, Belfast

Name: Niamh McMahon Occupation: Student Fashion Disaster: Blonde highlights Best gig ever: Muse at Marlay Park, Dublin

Photos by Will Neill. Words by Catherine Maguire and Sarah Millar

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Name: Ciara Matthews Occupation: Fashion buyer student Best gig ever: Muse at the Odyssey.

COMPETITION

UNKNOWN PLEASURES Niall Byrne digs deep to uncover the freshest new music

Compilation – Loud Mouth Volume 1 Dublin’s Loud Mouth Collective don’t seem on the surface to have an awful lot in common with each other but a listen to their free downloadable compilation Volume 1 reveals that their commonality is a love of eclectic sounds. From the post-dubstep sound of Cian, Bingo and Redahan, ambient tracks from C.F. Meister and Conall Kelleher, a jazzy hip-hop instrumental from Luke B and menacing hiphop from The Bastard, Loud Mouth Volume 1 is a fine document of Irish producers pushing things forward.

A launch gig takes place in the Twisted Pepper, Dublin on June 24.

- loudmouthcollective.bandcamp.com

Blog Buzz – When Saints Go Machine This Copenhagen-based quartet have been making music since 2007 and have appeared sporadically on the radar with a classy remix by Nicolas Jaar and tracks from their debut 2009 EP Fail Forever. This month, they finally come good with their first full length album Konkylie on !K7 Records and the first two singles ‘Kelly’ and ‘Add Ends’ perfectly display their penchant for catchy off-kilter night-time pop.

- soundcloud.com/when-saints-go-machine

Win a pair of four-day Oxegen camping tickets

Mix – Nguzunguzu’s The Perfect Lullaby Last month it was all about The Weeknd’s R&B renaissance-bringing mixtape and the good news is that that mysterious duo will release two more in 2011. In the meantime though, may I introduce LA boy/girl duo Nguzunguzu. Their recent mixtape The Perfect Lullaby takes well-known R&B from the like of Ciara, Amerie, R Kelly and Brandy & Monica and twists it into new and interesting shapes through the prism of post-dubstep, grime and Angolan dance music.

- bit.ly/nguzumix 12” - Charli XCX She might only just turned the legal drinking age but Charli XCX is one young English lass who’s firmly up on the histrionics of Eighties ballads.

Her debut single ‘Stay Away’ is darkgilded epic pop music that recalls Shakespears Sister and Martika’s ‘Toy Soldiers’. It was co-written and produced by Ariel Rechtshaid who is responsible for recent productions from Glasser and Theophilus London. The 12” comes with remixes from Salem and T. Williams.

- bit.ly/loveinks Blog Buzz – Eric Copeland When not playing with experimental electronic noisemakers Black Dice, Eric Copeland releases strange solo material on the Paw Tracks label.

His new album Waco Taco Combo is full of mechanical, broken-down rhythms that build up into distinct yet discombobulating arrangements. The album was recorded in Copenhagen, using recorded non-musical sounds as foundations for the tracks, a technique known as musique concrète.

- bit.ly/wacotaco

WWW.NIALLER9.COM

OK, we’re just going to list start this competition blurb by listing all the acts that we like who are playing Oxegen this year. The Strokes, Friendly Fires, OFWGKTA, The National, Metronomy, Two Door Cinema Club, Crystal Castles, Tiga, Bright Eyes, The Naked & Famous, Sven Vath, Arctic Monkeys, The Bloody Beetroots, Eels, Fight Like Apes, Hurts, Beyonce, Jimmy Eat World, Foo Fighters… we could go on, but we think you get the idea – there are loads of good bands playing the festival, with still more to be announced.

Seeing them all listed makes you really want to go, doesn’t it?

Now, think how sweet it would be if you didn’t have to buy a ticket, but were in fact a lucky enough sod to win one in some sort of competition.

Imagine bagging a full, four-day ticket with camping included. Now imagine winning a pair of tickets. Not only would you have a ticket, but you could also massively impress somebody with both your luck skills, and your sweet prize. We can pretty much guarantee

that it would lead to a lot of tent-based hugs and kisses from the object of your affection. You want to be that person, don’t you? Well, the lovely folks at Oxegen have provided us with the ability to make this insane dream a reality for one lucky so-and-so. They’ve slipped us a pair of four-day camping tickets to give away, and to be in with a chance of winning them all you have to do is answer the question below.

Q) What is the best Beyoncé song? * Email your answer with the subject header ‘Oxegen 2011’ to info@iheartau.com to enter. Include your name, postal address and a contact number.

Oxegen takes place from Friday 8th July to Sunday 10th July at Punchestown Racecourse, Co. Kildare. Tickets for the festival are available via www.ticketmaster. ie. For more info check out www.oxegen.ie and www.facebook.com/oxegen. * We’re aware that there is technically no right answer to that question, but there is definitely a wrong one. All answers count as entries though.

ED ZEALOUS TO RECORD DEBUT ALBUM Belfast indie quartet Ed Zealous have announced that they are to start working with Bloc Party, Noah and the Whale and Two Door Cinema Club producer Eliot James on their long-overdue debut album. The band have spent the last seven months out of the limelight perfecting the songs and will go into the studio with James in August. “We’ve been fanatical about these songs and now that Eliot is on board it feels like the final piece of the puzzle is in place,” said singer Stephen McAvoy. The first single is due for release in the autumn, with the album and an “extensive” UK tour to follow. www.edzealous.com

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Bra-Vo The actor Kevin Eldon raises a titter

Kevin Eldon is the comedian’s comedian. Luckily for those of us who have enjoyed his scene-stealing performances in the likes of Fist Of Fun, Brass Eye, I’m Alan Partridge, This Morning With Richard Not Judy, Big Train, Smack The Pony, Spaced, Jam, Black Books, Attention Scum, Nighty Night, Hot Fuzz, Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle and – phew – Four Lions, he is now also the comedy fan’s comedian.

Eldon’s debut solo stand-up show, Kevin Eldon Is Titting About, arrives at Belfast’s Black Box on June 19.

The theatrically trained Eldon has granted AU a rare interview, but the 50-year-old appears to be one of those artists who never ‘switch off’. I begin by asking if he had waited until the time was right to tour his own show, or if his higher-profile peers had cajoled him into it. “I cajoled myself into it,” he

replies. “Just so that I could say I’d cajoled myself into something. It’s a great verb, ‘cajole’, and I rarely get the opportunity to use it. Cajole. I cajole.

You cajole. He, she, it cajoles. Terrific.”

Despite the self-deprecating title, reviews of …

Titting About suggest a superbly constructed evening of comedy. Is Eldon being deliberately disingenuous with the moniker, so people will then be pleasantly wowed? “No, I really am just titting about,” he answers. “I mean, it’s rehearsed and all that. I’m not just standing there throwing balls of paper at a photo of Imelda Marcos. Although having thought of that I may put that in. But essentially I am just mucking around. It’s not ‘superbly constructed’ – it just sort of hangs together a bit. ‘Superbly constructed’ is just a phrase critics like to use. It’s like me with ‘cajole’.”

As the interview progresses, Eldon refuses to be drawn on whether he has ever aspired to scale the heights of, say, a Michael McIntyre (“I’m afraid of heights. I prefer widths. I can do four without using my inhaler”), which of his comic creations he is most

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proud of (“Louis the Stupid Ant. I created him in my swish London laboratory using sophisticated DNA engineering and some bleach. I laugh at him when I’m down”), or if he feels any of his work has been overlooked (“Yes, the Japanese Noh theatre version of Grandstand. I did all the voices. The public just weren’t ready for it. Water-drinking gimps”).

Still, Eldon’s playful responses should be music to the, er, eyes of readers planning to attend the gig.

Having collaborated with many of the UK’s major comedy talents – Stewart Lee, Chris Morris, Steve Coogan and so on – I enquire if Kevin regards them as geniuses, as most of the rest of us do, or if they’re simply blokes he’s mates with. “It’s genii, isn’t it?”

And as for his post-tour plans, either he doesn’t know or he’s not telling. “I shall be leaping through fields in a sombrero strumming a large guitar and singing songs about plastic,” the actor Kevin Eldon smirks. Andrew Johnston Kevin Eldon Is Titting About at the Black Box, Belfast on June 19.

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HERE’S LOOKING AT YOU(TUBE) Words by Neill Dougan

Oldham Athletic (a Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy special) Kentucky wild man Will Oldham, aka Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy, has a valid claim to be the busiest man in rock ‘n’ roll. Not content with bringing out an album pretty much every year, he usually also manages a couple of EPs or singles, as well as countless collaborations and joint efforts.

Indeed, new single ‘There Is No God’ is his fifth (ultra low-key) release since February alone. Here are few selected examples of the great man’s more leftfield efforts. We love you, Bonnie!

Unholy Racket

Scout’s Honour

Wacky Zach

‘There Is No God’ is Bonnie’s new single in aid of the Save Our Gulf campaign. Now, the words ‘charity record’ might bring to mind well-meaning guff like ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’, but Oldham likes to do things a bit differently – accordingly, the video features the bare-chested singer scaring people as he prances about in ghostly white make up. And when was the last time you heard a charity song with a line like, “There is no God... except that which puts mouth on cock and vagina”? Mmmm, sacrilicious.

A super clip, this – the video to Scout Niblett’s ‘Kiss’, a 2007 single with Oldham duetting on vocals. The song – a tortured, slightly epic, country lament – is totally at odds with the wacky video, which sees Niblett ram bits of bread under her top lip and don a ludicrous wig, while our Will cavorts in skeleton costume, crown and panda-style eye make-up. There are handstands on the beach, messy ice-cream eating and even a bit of dancefloor wrestling. Everything the modern pop video should be, in other words.

Even by Will Oldham’s standards, this is an unusual one: a video for Kanye West’s ‘Can’t Tell Me Nothing’, featuring the Bonnie Prince and fellow beardy-man Zach (The Hangover) Galifianakis larking around on a tractor somewhere in rural America. Galifianakis mimes the song’s lyrics and has the words ‘I Love Turd’ scrawled on his head in black marker. Oldham, meanwhile, gyrates in a pair of ill-fitting red shorts and poses in a ludicrous red suit.

Inexplicable, disturbing and really quite amusing.

And that’s without even mentioning Bonnie’s belly...

- tinyurl.com/bonnienogod

- tinyurl.com/bonnieniblettkiss

- tinyurl.com/bonniekanyezach

WEIRD WIDE WEB

Though composed by the man who invented the internet’s most pretentious and annoying contribution to human culture, the blackout poem, in which he blacks out most of the words on a given page until the remainder says something banal, Austin Kleon’s ten point guide to being an artist is hard-nosed and inspirational. It’s a 20 minute read, but it’s illustrated and worth a bookmark if your Hang In There kitten poster is losing its efficacy.

New York City’s hardcore scene drew migrants in the Eighties, but as the Lower East Side gentrified, there ceased to be places for people to squat like Bad Brains and all those other bands in romanticising documentaries. The result? People still move there, and there are now dozens of homeless crusties inhabiting the park. This blog photographs them, their tattoos and their dogs, and lets them tell their story.

Words by Karl McDonald

Obviously the main thing problem with sandwiches is the fact that you don’t know what they would look like if you halved them. You will never find out, either, unless you’re recklessly inclined towards experimentation and have a lot of spare money.

Scanwiches has your back. Literally a commentaryfree photoblog of sandwich cross-sections, it’s actually surprisingly pleasing to look at, with rainbow veggie fare balanced occasionally with a humble PB&J. No palm-printed crisp ones. Yet.

- crustypunks.blogspot.com - bit.ly/howtosteallikeanartist

- scanwiches.com

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"aaagh! my eyes!"

STORY OF THE VIDEO James Vincent McMorrow

The column that’s doing an all-canine special for no particular reason Words by Neill Dougan

Tim regretted ignoring the advice of the mysterious Chinese gentleman, who had warned him not to feed his new pet Mogwai after midnight.

- TINYURL.COM/GREMLINDOG

Title: ‘Sparrow And The Wolf’ Director: Tusk Productions (John Phillipson,

Elton Mullally and Rob Davis)

Following his Choice Prize nomination and Later… with Jools Holland appearance, Dubliner James Vincent McMorrow’s star is very much in the ascendant. In the video for breezy album track ‘Sparrow And The Wolf’, the narrative is based on the dark, mysterious lyrics. We asked James about it…

How much input did you have in the treatment that was used?

Very little, to be honest. I had a lot of treatments thrown at me which felt pretty clichéd and obvious for a singer and songwriter, but this one struck me as soon as I read it. It was just unique and original, and they clearly had a vision for the song that they were totally committed to. I really loved that.

The song sounds very bright and yet the video is quite morbid. Why? The song is very bright in its tempo and melody for sure, but the lyric is probably the darkest on the entire record. That’s what drew me to this treatment in the first place. They specifically said in the first email I got from them, “The song is bright, but the lyric is dark, and we want to focus on that”. They were the first people to talk about it.

There is an air of claustrophobia and of a relationship in decay – is that what you wanted the video to portray?

I wanted the video to portray something that was related to the story of the song, but not in a wordfor-word sense. The relationship in the song is vague and pretty ill-defined, and so is the one in the video, but you know things aren’t what they should be.

Can you tell me about the decision to use on-screen dialogue?

It relates back to the vague and slightly abstract nature of the song and the relationship it documents.

I think they wanted the video to be a snapshot of a relationship like that, so having subtitles for dialogue made sense. It’s abstract and hard to follow in places – you get the sense that something is wrong, but you have no clue what.

Do you enjoy making music videos for your songs?

They’re not something I really look forward to, because inevitably there’s a push for me to be in them, and I’m not a big fan of being in front of the camera. But if there’s a real purpose to me being in there, like there is with this video, a real tangible story and narrative, them I’m happy to do my part.

Watch the video online at bit.ly/sparrowandthewolf www.jamesvmcmorrow.com

Having left his kitchen mop for too long in a bucket of nuclear waste, it was no surprise to comic-book fan Colin when it eventually acquired certain super-abilities.

- tinyurl.com/MopDogMutant

Everyone agreed that the star of the new Spiderman reboot was a big improvement on Tobey Maguire.

- tinyurl.com/NotTobey

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THE EMERGING ACTS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT

The Middle East

Members:

Formation: For Fans Of: Check Out:

Website:

Jordan Ireland (guitar, vocals), Rohin Jones (guitar, vocals), Bree Tranter (keys), Joseph Ireland (banjo), Mark Myers (guitar, trumpet), Jack Saltmiras (bass), Mike Haydon (drums).

Townsville, Australia, 2005 James Vincent McMorrow, Bon Iver, Wye Oak. Debut album I Want That You Are Always Happy, out now on PIAS. www.myspace.com/visitthemiddleeast

A group of high-school friends get together and write a few songs. One decides to travel Europe, the others move on with their lives, and the band is placed on ‘sabbatical’. A few of us are probably still on that ‘early career break’, but while The Middle East were getting on with their lives, the dingy, understated sentiment of early effort ‘Blood’ grabbed some serious attention, and the seven-piece suddenly found themselves pursued by several record labels. ‘Blood’ is a grimy, darkly emotional track, while the band’s newly released debut album takes a right turn in a dank corner, stumbling into back-alley storytelling territory.

Rohin and Jordan describe first full-length I Want That You Are Always Happy as being “far from fully developed”, and “destined to disappoint anyone who expected another ‘Blood’.” In fact, the entire process has been riddled with band in-fighting, accusations of hidden religious meanings (“that’s ridiculous – we’re spiritual people, but we’re not here to spread a message”) and a hatred of the music industry’s requisite self-pimping. This is one for the musical masochist: intensely downbeat and open to numerous personal interpretations, it gently tugs at your rawest corner. Keep the razor blades locked away… James Hendicott

Foster The People

Members:

Based: For Fans Of: Check Out:

Website:

Mark Foster (vocals, keys, guitar), Mark Pontius (drums), Cubbie Fink (bass,vocals).

Los Angeles, California, 2009.

Robyn, Passion Pit, Friendly Fires.

Debut Album Torches, released June 27 on Columbia. www.fosterthepeople.com

Synth-pop trio Foster The People are most definitely a band on the rise. The LA-based outfit, together only two years, were formed and are fronted by multi-instrumentalist Mark Foster. Foster is the band’s controlling influence, a benign dictator who greatly influences their electronic sound and indie-pop leanings. Musically, he contributes a large chunk of the band’s finished product. While Pontius is charged with percussion, Foster plays synth, piano, guitar and lead vocals, along with commanding the chief song-writing duties.

Foster The People first came to prominence with debut single ‘Pumped Up Kicks’. This four minute, hook-laden slice of pop confectionery made healthy inroads in both the US and Australia, and as a standalone track it pretty much defines their sound.

Their compositions are catchy, chorus-driven and will undoubtedly divide listener opinion. Recently, they sold-out a string of spring dates across the US, including a highly-publicised performance at the Coachella festival and a number of appearances at SXSW. Their strong live shows, network TV appearances and online ‘word of mouth’ have elevated Foster the People to national prominence in the US. Watch out: they’re coming our way and European domination is imminent. Eamonn Seoige

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Beaumont

Real Name: Based: For Fans Of: Check Out:

Website:

Mike Beaumount Glasgow, Scotland.

Jamie Woon, The Weeknd.

Blush Response EP, out June 20 on Kinnego Records. www.myspace.com/beaumontmusiques

Halfway through 2011, and the it looks like the year in electronic might be remembered as the year of moody young male vocalists producing wonderful music in their bedrooms. To a line-up including Nicolas Jaar, Jamie Woon, and James Blake, we can now add the promising young talent of Scotland’s Beaumount, who has, in Blush Response, created a sophisticated EP of R&B derived UK bass music that couldn’t sound any more of-the-moment if it tried. Describing the R&B influences that slickly inform his EP, Beaumount says, “I’ve listened to R&B productions from the likes of Kashif, Kyle West and Timbaland.” Being drawn from that sort of gene pool, Blush Response should certainly generate a bit of notice in electronic and indie’s current R&B ‘moment’.

Like Woon and Blake, Beaumount fleshes out his productions with his own treated vocals. As he puts it, “the vocals are all mine besides one or two samples” and he feels that “bringing in the guitar and vocals gives the music a lifeblood it never had before.” Thankfully, he can sing, and he’s right, the voice adds a lot to Blush Response, fleshing out what might have been interesting, but impersonal, nocturnal dubstep sketches into glowing bass music with real emotional heft. And emotion is the key descriptor for Blush Response. Sure, the bass drops at all the right moments, and the groove coils with reptile-like precision, but it is Beaumount’s ability to wear his heart on his (trendy) sleeve that sets him apart. Darragh McCausland

Cults Members: Brian Oblivion (vocals, guitar),

Madeline Follin (vocals).

Formation: New York City, 2010.

For Fans Of: Raveonettes, Dum Dum Girls, Summer Camp.

Check Out: Debut album Cults, out now on Columbia.

Website: www.cultscultscults.com As newbie bands go, Cults are pretty hot right now. Couple Brian Oblivion and Madeline Follin originally made the trans-American journey from San Diego to New York to study film. However, they soon became disillusioned with the artistic limitations of life as an undergraduate and diverted their attention to their other great love, music. When we spoke to the precocious pair they were making final preparations for the release of self-titled debut Cults. With a summer of major festival dates beckoning and media fervour building, it’s hard to believe they were just jamming for fun a year ago. “It’s been some trip, it’s all happened real fast,” says Brian. “We’ve actually taken our time with the record and worked real hard on developing our live show. So far, the response from audiences has been great. We’re all about doing it our way, letting the music talk. All this over-the-top selfpromotion and PR drivel common in the industry today is just bullshit! These bands that twitter constantly, feed the machine and place more emphasis on stylish photo shoots and becoming media personalities, I don’t get that. The only thing that matters is the songs.”

Their highly anticipated debut record, Cults, has just hit the shops. Their sound is deeply indebted to Sixties girl groups and classic indie-pop, sprinkled with a generous dose of subtle electronica. From the infectious rhythms of ‘Abducted’ and ‘Go Outside’ to the nostalgic swoon of ‘Oh My God’, Cults’ potent retro-pop is guaranteed to turn heads. Madeline explains how it all came about. “We both hated film school and wanted a change, a new direction. Who knows what the future holds? We both dropped out of high-school early and got accepted into art school on the strength of projects. But sitting in a classroom studying techniques wasn’t for us. I found it terrible to be honest, not at all mind-expanding!”

Often, the greatest obstacle for fresh-faced bands is capturing the spirit of the record live. It’s a challenge they both relish. “It’s the most exciting part of all,” Brian asserts. “We swing from wanting to recreate the album to trying something very different. The touring really keeps you on your toes. I think we’ll make the journey over and back from the US to Europe six times this year!

People paying to see our shows and listening to our songs, it’s such a rewarding feeling.”

With album number one about to drop, Cults are already turning their attention to the follow-up and taking their sound in new directions. Brian describes the process. “On the debut, we were trying to get across our ‘quarter-life-crisis’ as it were.

We’re 21, on the brink of adulthood, no normal job, partying and disenfranchised with education. The music is uplifting, but lyrically there’s often a struggle going on. We actually finished the record in December and having played it thousands of times in studio and spoken about it at length, it’s kind of in the past for us.”

With an exhaustive live schedule between now and October, Madeline and Brian have pencilled in the winter for their second studio stint. “We’ve seven or eight demos and we’re pushing towards a more symphonic direction. Think Nancy Sinatra meets Squarepusher!” Eamonn Seoige

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A-Z:

DIVAS Words by Neill Dougan Illustration by Mark Reihill

The term ‘diva’ has its origins in the world of opera, and was first used to describe a singer (usually a soprano) of exceptional talent. The term has taken on a quite different meaning in modern times, and these days when we call someone a ‘diva’, we’re most likely referring to their propensity for behaving like a selfish, stroppy, self-obsessed, spoilt, bratty, overindulged child. Most famous people, in other words. Bunch of gits.

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A is for

D is for

America’s Next Top Model

Celine Dion

Televised training ground for the divas of tomorrow, hosted by demented beanpole Tyra Banks and a coterie of ludicrously self-satisfied fashionistas, and featuring tears and tantrums by the truckload. AU’s better half makes us watch this occasionally, and we definitely do not secretly enjoy it. Oh no.

Eccentric chanteuse who tours with an entourage of over 100, including four full-time bodyguards, at an annual cost of £2.5 million. Clearly she’s still wary about being picked up on that outstanding international arrest warrant for Crimes Against Music. Some day we’ll have justice, Dion. Some day.

B is for

Gordon Brown Former British PM notorious for violent strops, in the course of which no office furniture was safe – desks, printers and computers all (allegedly) felt his wrath. Associates fared no better, with hapless staff (allegedly) the victims of flying fists, mobile phones and occasional use of the ‘c’ word. Still markedly less hateful than David Cameron, mind you.

C is for

Mariah Carey Multi-octave-voiced warbler Carey’s recent shenanigans during childbirth take some beating.

Not only did she play her own music during labour, she also named her unfortunate twins Monroe and Moroccan. Luckily, both names can be abbreviated to ‘Mo’, which should at least save the poor tykes from years of schoolyard bullying, even if it is a tad confusing.

E is for

Linda Evangelista Canadian supermodel who famously declared in 1990: “We don’t wake up for less than $10,000 a day.” In 2005, she retracted the statement, insisting that she hated the way the quote had followed her around. Of course, by then she’d presumably earned around $54,750,000 simply by waking up every day for 15 years.

F is for

Aretha Franklin The queen of soul famously demanded a bit of R-E-S-P-E-C-T, and in her case this means £25,000 in cash in advance of each performance. Also reportedly refuses to stay higher than the fifth floor of any hotel. Frankly, though, she’s Aretha bloody Franklin, so she can do what she bloody wants.

G is for

William Gallas Highly-strung French footballer prone to badtempered conniption fits, from telling primetime French TV he wanted to quit then-club Chelsea, to staging a one-man sit-down protest in front of thousands of spectators after his next team Arsenal had conceded a last-minute goal. Now at Spurs, we await his next huff with bated breath.

H is for

Whitney Houston When Whitney’s limo was two minutes late to pick her up outside Sydney airport last year she lost it, loudly exclaiming “This is bullshit” before telling a curious passer-by to “mind you own fucking business.” In her defence, that crack withdrawal can be a bugger.

I is for

Il Divo

Faintly ludicrous opera/boyband hybrid who, to be honest, are only on this list because of their name. We’ve trawled through the murky recesses

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of the internet and can only report that they seem like four thoroughly nice chaps, if a tad dull. Come on guys, smash up a hotel room or punch a photographer, or something. Throw us a bone here, eh?

J is for

Elton John Amidst all the booze, drugs and tantrums, the best story AU ever heard about Mr John was that he’d had the vocal cords of his guard dogs surgically removed so their barking wouldn’t annoy him.

Sadly, this tale was entirely invented by a UK tabloid, but it’s a reflection on how barmy Elton was that this ludicrous anecdote was believed for even a second. Really, he only had himself to blame.

K is for

Beyoncé Knowles R&B belter Beyoncé is reported to have once hopped in a limo for a journey of less than 15 yards between her London hotel and a branch of Harvey Nichols. After a 20 minute shop, she made the return journey, also by limo. Naturally – she had handfuls of shopping bags by that point. Like, duh.

L is for

Jennifer Lopez The star of such masterpieces as The Wedding Planner and Maid In Manhattan is a renowned prima donna who, in advance of her arrival at a hotel, provides the management with a two page list of stringent demands. So is that how they do it on ‘the block’ these days, eh Lopez? Well??

M is for

Madonna

Musclebound Kabbalah enthusiast Madonna has one of the most demanding riders in the music industry, including a new, unused toilet seat on her loo before every gig and an all-white changing room. Presumably she also needs crèche facilities for all the children she has stolen, sorry ‘adopted’, from Africa.

N is for

Jack Nicholson On-screen legend Nicholson has certainly had the odd off-screen wobble, not least when he reacted to being cut off in traffic in 1994 by leaping from his car and smashing the windscreen of the offending motorist with a golf club. He then got back into his vehicle and drove off. To be honest, we’d expect nothing less from the man who once said, “I only take Viagra when I’m with more than one woman.”

S is for

depicted as a hot-tempered half-wit incapable of getting a simple joke about fish-sticks. Altogether now: “Cause I’m a motherfuckin’ gay fish!”

The diva’s diva, infamous for requiring hotel staff to enter and leave her room backwards, requesting rose petals in her toilet bowl, etc. Also gave an outdoor concert in Castletown, Co Kildare, in 2007 that went down in history as one of the most chaotic ever seen in Ireland, with torrential downpours and huge traffic jams turning the concert site into a mudbath. None of this was Streisand’s fault, of course. We just thought we’d mention it.

X is for

Barbra Streisand

T is for

Xtina

Foghorn-voiced Xtina, or ‘Christina Aguilera’ if you will, started out as a fresh-faced Disney Channel presenter before the ravages of the music industry took their toll and she morphed into a leather-clad, lascivious, polysexual smut-peddler.

Sad. But sort of brilliant too.

Elizabeth Taylor O is for

Michelle Obama Yeah, so she’s the US President’s wife, so she can arguably justify her eight-person retinue, including bodyguards, press officers and secretaries. But you can bet she secretly loves it... the little minx.

P is for

Gwyneth Paltrow Don’t let Paltrow’s girl-next-door image fool you – she’s said to have demanded that production bosses carry out $100,000-worth of renovations to a penthouse for her to stay in while she shot some movie or other. Also called her own grandmother a ‘cunt’ live on US TV. Clearly the influence of her hubby, notorious rock n’roll bad boy Chris Martin, is rubbing off on her. Oh no, wait...

Q is for

THE QUEEN What? Dear old Queen Liz? A diva? Surely not. Well, actually, she’s the biggest diva of them all, flouncing around the place wearing a crown, with a massive retinue and a horde of small dogs, and living in an actual castle. Who does she think she is, royalty?

R is for

Cristiano Ronaldo Real Madrid’s Portuguese forward is what your dad might call a “big girl’s blouse”, prancing around the pitch on tip-toes, hitting the turf as if shot any time he encounters an overly strong gust of wind, and occasionally crying at the injustice of it all if a decision goes against him. AU would take Carlton Palmer any day. Carlton knew how to get stuck in.

The recent death of Ms Taylor deprived the world of one of Hollywood’s most notorious divas.

Married eight times, she had a legendary appetite for booze and drugs (becoming the first star of note to publicly enter rehab), as well as food – reputedly getting large vats of chilli from her favourite restaurant in Beverly Hills shipped out to her on the set of Cleopatra. Which was filmed in Rome, where of course you can’t get a decent meal...

U is for

Unusual Demands We could be here all day listing examples of wacky celeb requirements, but AU’s favourite, for sheer lack of self-awareness, is that of Sheryl Crow, who likes to give venues a lengthy list of eco-friendly stipulations (for example that all dinnerware must be biodegradable and all food locally sourced and organic), all the while travelling the world with her entourage in two 45-foot buses.

V is for

Van Halen While the cheeky Eighties hair-metal chappies’ now-legendary request for ‘M&Ms (Warning: Absolutely no brown ones)’ smacks of drug-addled lunacy, in fact it was a cunning ploy: the band figured that, if there were indeed no brown M&Ms backstage, they could assume the promoter had also paid attention to their painstaking technical requirements. So not as daft as they looked, then.

W is for

Kanye West Self-proclaimed genius who invaded the stage at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards to complain about Taylor Swift’s award for Best Female Video. His “Imma let you finish…” rant became the stuff of online legend, but even better was the South Park parody that saw the rapper hilariously

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Y is for

Sean Young The Blade Runner star has often seemed less a diva and more a full-on nutter – whether it be storming the set of Batman Returns in a homemade lycra outfit in a futile bid to bag the Catwoman role, or drunkenly heckling director Julian Schnabel for no apparent reason as he accepted an award for The Diving Bell & The Butterfly. AU blames the parents. For giving her a boy’s name.

Z is for

Zsa Zsa

94-year-old Hungarian-American actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, a great beauty of her day, was a classic diva. Married nine times, she once said: “I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” Which explains her popularity with the fellas. I mean, who wouldn’t want to marry a lady like that? * Compiled with the assistance of more tabloid and celebrity gossip websites than AU cares to remember.

Truly we feel spiritually soiled.

Arctic Monkeys Licensed to Chill After the desert adventure of 2009’s Humbug album, Arctic Monkeys return this month with their fourth album. Suck It And See, produced by trusty pal James Ford, sees the Sheffield quartet fully transformed into a rather magnificent rock band. AU finds out how a winning combination of tequila, LA swimming pools and New York apartments created what is, perhaps, Arctic Monkeys’ most complete album to date.

Words by John Freeman

“Follow me,” suggests Alex Turner and we’re off after him, with bassist Nick O’Malley bringing up the rear, as Turner begins a speedy descent down five flights of stairs. Moments earlier, during our interview at a hilariously hip private members’ club in London’s East End, the fire alarm went off. It is very, very loud and Turner, with hands clasped firmly over his ears, is not hanging around.

Outside, the two Monkeys are eager to avoid the evacuation of office workers and chefs that are milling around. As we seek out a nearby café, and with them off interview ‘duty’, Turner and O’Malley chat more freely.

We discuss their penchant for making roast dinners during the recording of Suck It And See (“always beef and always with Yorkshire puddings done from scratch,” states O’Malley) and favourite new bands (Turner cites psychedelic rockers Brown Brogues, while O’Malley is highly effusive about Warpaint).

gangliness – and clearly knows his way around a gym – but although polite and attentive, he gives the impression he’d rather be doing a million things other than this interview.

However, if the line of questioning is simply kept to the subject of the creation of music, Turner is positively animated. “We had the idea of rehearsing and getting all the production done before you get in the studio and then record in about a weekend,” he begins, when asked about the strategy employed for Suck It And See. “That was the plan – and not since the first record have we done that. Since then it has been a bit more ‘make it up as you go along’. That’s the difference of the way we worked on the last couple of records – we’d have some little drum beats or a riff and piece it together until we got songs out of it. It’s only more recently that I’ve begun to think about songs with chords, melodies and lyrics. There have been a few that have come about like

“The new album is exactly where we are right now – we are not chasing after anything. It is a good flag in the moon” And then it happens – Alex Turner momentarily forgets himself and lobs in an uncharacteristically juicy soundbite when asked about the new album. “I’m really happy with where we are on this one. I feel that this album is a really good milestone. It is exactly where we are right now – we are not chasing after anything. It is a good flag in the moon.” There is a palpable silence as the quote hangs in the air. “A Good Flag In The Moon.”

On finding a suitably eatery, the lads are in the process of ordering some hangover-busting bacon sandwiches when their publicist calls from the club. It was a false alarm (“Good, my suitcase is in there,” says O’Malley) and we are to return, lest AU should consider kidnapping half of one of the UK’s finest rock bands. We oblige (said publicist has already regaled us with stories of how a sweaty, post-gig Iggy Pop smells of “wild flowers”) and head back.

Pre-alarm, and with his band mates running late, Alex Turner is perched on a bar stool, suppressing early morning yawns and doing his bit to big-up Suck It And See. Dressed in a white t-shirt, expensive-looking jeans and Chelsea boots, only a denim-blue motorcycle jacket hints at his star status. Turner has lost any teenage

that on previous records – like ‘Cornerstone’ and ‘505’ – where it was a song on an acoustic guitar and we built it up, but they were always the minority.”

This is radically different to how the band created Humbug, which was an album fuelled by experimentation and recorded at Josh Homme’s Joshua Tree studio in the Californian desert. “Suck It And See was a lot less about the experience. The whole thing on Humbug was to go out of our comfort zone, go to the desert, be really open and just have sketches of songs and build on them there.”

Looking back, we are intrigued as to what the Joshua Tree experience taught Turner. “One thing I learnt from it was even if you do something like that, it is not going to change whatever it is that gives the band its identity,” he says. “Whatever that is, it is built into the four of us making music together regardless of whether we are in Joshua Tree, Sheffield or Shoreditch.”

On listening to Suck It And See, it becomes apparent that their identity has, however, undergone a massive transformation. The tremendously exciting indie band that changed the guitar world with 2006’s Whatever

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People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not has now developed into a formidable rock group. The new songs are fuller and denser; each one bristling with Jamie Cook’s kaleidoscopic guitar work and Matt Helders’ big-assed drums.

Recorded earlier this year at the legendary Sound City studios in Los Angeles, and including a reworked version of ‘Piledriver Waltz’ from Turner’s recent soundtrack for Submarine (“it seemed related to the new songs – maybe not a blood relative but just like a friendly uncle,” he quips), the 12 songs that make up the new album outline a significant step away from the Monkeys’ musical beginnings.

“We couldn’t have kept doing that thing on the first album – it would have been a bit silly, Helders says when we are joined by him and guitarist Cook. “It seemed like a natural progression to become a bit more focused and to be more than just an indie band, but it wasn’t that conscious. There wasn’t a big plan.”

With the sonic evolution of the Monkeys in full flow, AU wonders whether their loyal fanbase has changed over time. We recount a 2007 gig at Lancashire’s cricket ground, when a significant minority of the 50,000 crowd seemed intent on drunken scrapping. “A lot of people have said to us

that it was pretty wild at Lancashire,” Nick admits.

“But there is another side [to our fanbase] as well that comes to our gigs and just watches.” Matt is slightly defensive at the mention of that particular show. “We’ve got mates like that. It’s mainly like that at big gigs or festivals, but they are not all bad people. Also, once you have got that type of fan, you almost can show them something else, in a way.”

Helders, who sports a huge, florid scar obtained from breaking his arm while boxing last year, is the band ‘lad’, a permanent twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

Cook, with his newly-shorn gentlemen’s haircut, appears to be the most uncomfortable during the interview, only momentarily brightening up when Helders postulates that the next Arctic Monkeys album “might be like full-on Black Sabbath.”

Reflecting on the intervening five years since their initial shock-and-awe debut, Cook is eager to remind AU that the band has had to grow up in the public gaze. “When we made that first record, we had only been playing for about four years,” he say, his South Yorkshire accent notably heavier than his band mates. “I got a guitar when I was 15 and recorded the album at 19. It limited you to what you could do. I still am limited; maybe I’m a bit better now.”

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“It was a bit like a runaway train. It is a bit less of that now – it is a bit more composed,” says Turner when we ask him to reminisce. Was it in any way scary? “It was quite strange and it was really fun – we had a really, really good time. I don’t remember being scared – it was just that feeling that you don’t necessarily have control of what’s happening.”

Much to their credit, the band has always given the impression of being in full control of their destiny.

We ask interested to know if that perception is true, and Turner is surprisingly candid in his response. “Yeah, but that control thing can go too far sometimes and you can become really defensive and shut everything out. We did that to an extent.

But, I’m glad we did turn the charts over for a bit.

I’m quite proud of that.”

The band does appear to be in a good place; both unanimously happy with their new record and eager to get back out on tour. Turner, predictably, as chief creator, is the barometer. Having moved from New York, where he wrote most of Suck It And See, back to London with his girlfriend Alexa Chung, he seems relaxed and content. Being careful not to frame a question specifically about his relationship, we ask him whether being “relaxed and content” is

Views From The Afternoon Alex Turner on his new found love of country music: “People had tried to turn me onto it before and, finally, I started to delve into it a little bit and really got a kick out of the lyrics. There is a George Jones song called ‘Relief Is Just A Swallow Away’ which just does it for me.

Also, I know I’m never gonna make a country album. So, I can almost set that on one side and just enjoy it.�

Nick O’Malley on how Arctic Monkeys are just one big happy family: “We’ve never had any problems getting on, really. We are quite lucky in that sense. None of us have got that sort of ‘piss each other off’ personality. Out of our group of mates, we were the ones who were the most easygoing out of everyone. We just know how to not do each other’s heads in.� a good catalyst for songwriting and whether his long-term relationship stops him from revealing certain aspects of his psyche. “I’ve not given that the analysis yet. It’s an interesting question, because the situation you are in is bound to affect what you are writing about,� he says, seemingly genuinely engaged in his answer. “I’m not far enough on to figure that one out. If you don’t put any of yourself in, the songs are just words and it can come across a bit flat, and if you put too much of yourself into it you get into this terrible situation

Jamie Cook on his amateur football career: “I play in both the Saturday and Sunday league. The season has finished; we did alright. Both teams got promoted last year, and this year both teams stayed up in the top league. I’m a right-back – I try and get up [the wing] but I’m not good at tracking back.

Matt Helders on his surreal ‘bromance’ with P. Diddy: “That’s the thing; it is still funny to me. I don’t know if he thinks it is. Thinking about it, he probably doesn’t want me to think it’s funny – he might be like ‘I am aware of who I am, but I’d just quite like to know you’.

What do I call him? I don’t think I’ve ever addressed him – maybe I’ve just said ‘Oi’.�

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However, what we can deduce is that, lyrically, Suck It And See is a mixture of Turner’s insightful story-telling narratives and more opaque collections of consciousness. He also acknowledges the two camps. “There are the songs that are like the listeners looking over your shoulder and you are taking them through this story or place and they are always with you. An example of that would be ‘Cornerstone’. The other side is where I feel as if I’m leaning over their shoulder and hinting at where to go but not necessarily leading them through.

That’ll be like [the excellent new track] ‘The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala’.�

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It also sounds as if the making Suck It And See was a whole heap of fun.

Helders reveals that the LA recording was fuelled by “margaritas and Mexican beer� and daring rooftop

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dives into their rented house’s swimming pool (“I knew it was deep enough.�) AU grimaces at the thought of the unique ferocity of a tequilainduced hangover. “It’s a different kind of drunk as well – it’s quite happy and giddy,� offers Jamie. “When we did ‘Library Pictures’ we had been out the night before. That was tequila and when we recorded it the next day, we were all a bit ropey but giddy as well, which made it a lot of fun to record that song.�

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Perhaps the LA sun added to the giddiness quotient? “Yeah, we should

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have a margarita in Coventry and see what happens,� agrees Matt. “Do they have margaritas there? You’d probably get a pizza if you asked for one.�

As our interview draws to an end, AU’s thoughts turn to the future and the potential for a fifth album. Turner reveals that the band is not sitting on a stockpile of new material. “A few years ago, we’d have probably said, ‘Yeah, we’ve got five albums worth [of songs]’ but now we just want to play this one and not think too far ahead.�

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“I’m glad we turned the charts over for a bit.

I’m quite proud of that.� where there is too much detail to be playing it live every night. You have to strike a balance between them two things, which is, hopefully, what I’ve done on this new record.�

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Nine years after their formation, one of the decade’s finest rock bands seem to be revelling in the prospect of taking Suck It And See out into the world. And who can blame them; anyone who as placed ‘a flag on the moon’ should be allowed to enjoy the moment.

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Suck It And See is out now via Domino Records Arctic Monkeys play the Oxegen festival on July 9. www.arcticmonkeys.com

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Fleet Foxes Last month, Seattle’s Fleet Foxes released their second long-player, Helplessness Blues.

The album’s conception was a difficult process, fraught with delays and creative doubt.

To find out why, AU spoke to the band’s Casey Wescott about dancing with the devil in the detail, and how life on the road is a non-stop, drug-fuelled orgy – but without the drugs or the sex.

Words by John Freeman It may be lunchtime in New York, but it sounds as if Casey Wescott could do with some more sleep. During our chat, the Fleet Foxes’ keyboard player apologises after forgetting his train of thought, admitting he has “not had enough caffeine yet.” At another point he produces a heroically elongated yawn while talking – and it is a wonderfully melodious yawn, as if a Fleet Fox’s every sound is bathed in a twinkling cadence.

But, even in his slothful state, Casey is eager to talk about the new album. “The second record was neither reactionary nor trying to sound like the first one. I felt like we were just different people in a different place and the record is a reflection of that process,” Casey tells us, when we ask about the enormity of following such a successful record.

But if their celestial debut looked to the heavens, Helplessness Blues is much more of an earthbound navel-gaze. Sonically, it is denser and more textured than its predecessor but perhaps lacks the vertiginous highs of a ‘White Winter Hymnal’ or ‘Tiger Mountain Peasant Song’. Helplessness Blues finds chief songwriter Robin Pecknold in reflective mood, seemingly lost in self-flagellation. Indeed, the creation of the album catalysed the break-up of Pecknold’s relationship and was close to making him ill.

As a close friend, this must have been incredibly difficult for Casey to watch from the sidelines.

“For a while, especially going through a process like this, you really feel a lot of solidarity with each other, because everyone is working on these songs every day and trying to come up with ideas for the appropriate execution of that song,” he says, neatly side-stepping the question. “When you spend this amount of time on songs, it is to such a level of detail that you can spend a whole evening on one tiny little musical idea. That is fatiguing, if you are grinding on that non-stop.” For a moment, there is a hint of frustration in Casey’s voice, as if he doesn’t want the next album to be created in a similar atmosphere. “One can’t be in that state forever; conceive it, construct it and then move on and not just be in this hyper-detailed state.”

Robin Pecknold wrote most of the album, holed up in a rented barn in the tiny coastal town of Port Townsend, 40 miles north of Seattle. As has become the usual process, he then unveiled simple acoustic versions of the songs to his bandmates, for them to develop and add flesh.

A number of songs on Helplessness Blues explore Pecknold’s mid-20s passivity and we’re keen to know how Casey felt when he very first heard sketches of the sumptuous ‘Montezuma’, or the mesmerising title track. “I heard ‘Montezuma’ first; ‘Helplessness Blues’ came later. The thing that I remarked about on my initial observations was how complete and full it sounded when he was just playing the song alone,” Casey explains, quietly refusing to be drawn on his colleague’s emotional state. “That, for me, became one of the guiding principles – to preserve that spirit in the stuff we do as an ensemble but to not lose sight of that singer with an acoustic guitar.”

Indeed, Helplessness Blues contains a myriad of exotic instrumentation – from a music box to a hammered dulcimer, from a zither to a marxophone.

As a multi-instrumentalist, Casey had vast scope to explore different ways to embellish Pecknold’s nascent song. “After a while there was a body of musical ideas that were on the table, and I spent a lot of time trying to find the right instruments to [realise] certain textural ideas. On ‘Montezuma’, I use these Tibetan bowls,” Casey reveals. Cue endless fiddling in the name of experimentation. “I spent an afternoon going through a ton of them to find the pitch that each of the balls resonated [at] closest to the song. That takes a day to suss out that idea.”

It also becomes clear during the interview that Casey has a stinking head cold. AU can almost hear the dripping snot, and his conversation is a series of snuffles punctuated with some words. But, like his bandmates, Casey is disarmingly nice and painfully polite – even if he does have a habit of starting every answer with the phrase “What’s interesting is...” when the subsequent monologue, well, isn’t always.

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Casey is talking to us from his room in a hip boutique hotel in Manhattan, (“We are playing a show at the Palace Theatre, which is gorgeous and superawesome.”) It’s the sort of place that welcomes million-selling musicians – a world away from their spartan Seattle roots. Casey, predictably, is humble in his diagnosis of Fleet Foxes’ appeal. “It is as much of an interesting phenomenon to us as to other people,” he admits, when asked about the clamour for the new shows. “There was no indication that anyone would care to see us. Somebody put out a record a few years ago and then they’re trying to put out another one. That’s all.”

developing and sounding different.” His first impression of singer-songwriter and central creative muse Robin Pecknold was one of wonder. “He was insanely talented and insanely young too, he must have been 19 or 20. Even when we were playing shows back in the day he’d play and then he would have to leave because he was under 21. It was really interesting to see such a young, amazing singer and writer formed so young.”

Their friendship is bound by their love of music. “I actually really got to know [guitarist] Sky [Skjelset] and Robin as a result of playing music with them.

“Ha ha,” sniffles Casey. “It’s tough to say and, obviously, all bets are off as far as to what the new material is going to be. Anytime you work on something, you learn from it and as a result of completing something you become interested in new things. I think that exploring the song form and seeing how you can stretch it, whether it is multi-section songs or different changes in the sonic palette over the course of a song, is one thing we are very interested in.”

One thing is for sure, Fleet Foxes will not allow themselves to become bogged down in the creative

“The second record was neither reactionary nor trying to sound like the first one.”

Fleet Foxes are musicians first and foremost, and have eschewed the temptations of celebrity. Casey laughs at the notion of them even attempting to partake in the ‘fame game’. “There are not too many instances that the question arises of whether or not we should step on the red carpet. To be honest, we really like a more insulated approach. I don’t think it is good to get overwhelmed about things that are outside the scope of what it is you do – which is play music and record it and play shows and stuff.”

Casey joined Fleet Foxes in 2005 after seeing an early incarnation play live. “We started up a conversation and they were looking for a keyboard player,” he recalls. “At that time, the band was developing at a really fast rate and each song was

It was a really natural progression into friendship, almost immediately. Once we started talking and practising it was non-stop texts and emails about music, working on music. We were practising four or five times a week after work every day. We were in the incubator, just cooking.”

The incubator created 2008’s Sun Giant EP and that stunning, eponymously-titled debut album. While Helplessness Blues builds on the soundscape created by Fleet Foxes, and is perhaps deeper in emotional range – both albums are cut from the same country-folk cloth. There is no huge shift in sonic range, and AU is intrigued to know how album number three might sound. Do Fleet Foxes have a death-metal album lurking in the darkest corners of their personae?

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process, which may, just may, result in their next album appearing sooner than might have been anticipated. “We are going to try and work on stuff creatively during this tour, and intersperse that so there are not such discrete phases in our lives of long stretches of touring with no outlet,” Casey reveals.

“We should mix it up and not have such a black and white approach to it.”

Amen to that, brother.

Helplessness Blues is out now via Bella Union Fleet Foxes play Belfast’s Custom House Square on 25th June and Cork’s Marquee on 26th June.

13th OPEN HOUSE FESTIVAL

Plus many more acts. See website for full line-up & tickets

coorsopenhousefestival.com

22 ND - 26TH JUNE 2011 CATHEDRAL QUARTER, BELFAST

Pledge Your Allegiance The Japanese Popstars are back, and they’ve brought some friends along. Their second album Controlling Your Allegiance is ready to drop, and it’s littered with a host of credible, big name collaborators, all injecting an extra dose of excellence into the already meaty and beaty Popstars sound. We grabbed a sit-down in Belfast with Gareth Donoghue, one-third of the trio, to find out what how they have changed since the first album, why they won’t entertain the hype, and how it feels to have Robert Smith get back to you.

Words by Jonny Tiernan Things have changed a lot for Derry trio The Japanese Popstars since their storming debut album We Just Are was released in 2008. They’ve toured the world, remixed Beyoncé and Kylie and picked up awards, but whereas with the debut album they were all still holding down full-time jobs, working on the music in the evenings and weekends, its follow-up Controlling Your Allegiance was made without that constraint. It did bring a few new pressures, though. “A lot of the time with the first record we were saying to ourselves, ‘You know, if we could do this full-time, we could do this, or we could do that’,” Gareth Donoghue explains.

“We made excuses for ourselves. Now we actually are doing this full-time and we had to live up to those promises and teach ourselves a lot of stuff. None of us are trained engineers or producers, we just sort of stumbled into this, and a lot of time has been spent learning how to produce properly, for one thing.”

The fact that The Japanese Popstars have managed to create such high-impact, huge sounding music without any kind of training in production is a

points out, they’re not interested in playing it safe.

“When We Just Are was written we wanted it to be an after-party album, where you would go home after a night out and stick it on to keep the party going. We’d already done that, and we could do it again, but we wanted this to be a much more meandering ‘car’ album. We’re all a couple of years older as well, and that plays into it in a certain aspect. There is a lot more depth in there. I wanted us to push ourselves as songwriters and producers, and try and get to those places that I think we need to go.”

One of the bold new places that the band pushed themselves was into the arena of working and collaborating with vocalists. And we’re not talking about any old vocalists, we’re talking about some of the biggest and best in the business. The guys put together a wishlist of people who they would like to work with, and everyone came through – except David Bowie. Irish songstress Lisa Hannigan, dark lord of the Blues Explosion Jon Spencer, fast-rising

same day, and Smith said he is up for doing it if The Cure’s ferry comes in on time. Recent Popstars live shows have witnessed appearances on stage from Lisa Hannigan and Tom Smith, and adding Robert Smith to that list would be no mean feat. As Gareth says, when the collaborators are available to work with on stage it adds a really exciting layer to the show. Not that the live show isn’t already storming, mind. Their festival appearances in particular are notoriously riotous, and they’re looking to ramp things up again for this festival season with the addition of a bigger visual and light show, though without overstepping the mark.

“The visual aspect is something that is very new for us. It’s very important now for electronic acts to have a big fuck-off light show, but we want to tread carefully around it. We don’t want the show to be about just being a light show because that takes away from the music. It also costs an obscene amount of money, so we’re trying to find a balance between the two.”

“It’s always good to have someone come and slap you in the face and tell you you’re nothing, nothing but a scumbag. It’s refreshing.” testament to their own talent and drive. Their spirit is close to that old punk rock attitude, where you just get out there and make it happen. You don’t wait for it to come to you. You’re doing it for yourself because you want to, and not because you want to be trendy or hip.

“We have never tried to write what was ‘hype’ at the minute. This is because we never knew how to write what was hype, and because if you’re out of London you’re always playing catch-up. I don’t think that’s any way to write, or stay relevant, because you’ll date very fast. We just tried to write music that we liked and we thought was timeless and not tied down to any scene, just music that we would like to listen to. That was how we approached this album.”

It’s an approach that has paid dividends. Whereas We Just Are was filled with absolute rippers from start to finish, setting a full-on, almost relentless pace from the off, Controlling Your Allegiance switches tempos, paces and styles throughout. Everything is still embossed with the Popstars stamp, but as a collection of songs and a complete album it’s as suited to listening on your headphones while taking a walk as to getting psyched up for a night out. It’s a big step forward, and a brave move, but as Gareth

star James Vincent McMorrow, Editors mainman Tom Smith, M83’s Morgan Kibby, techno pioneer Green Velvet and none other than The Cure’s Robert Smith all lend their considerable talents to the album. It’s an impressive list, there is no denying it, but Robert Smith does stick out a bit, and we’re keen to hear how that came about. Turns out that it was a pretty close call.

“We had a tune that we thought Robert Smith would really work on,” Gareth recalls. “So we got our manager, who is a real Liverpool hustler, to see if he could source Robert’s home email address. And he did! We sent him a mail, but didn’t hear anything back. We just presumed, ‘He’s Robert Smith, he doesn’t need to be answering emails from us guys’.

But he came back six months later and apologised – turns out the email had gone into his junk folder, and it turned up when he was sifting through to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. We fired the track over, he loved it, said ‘let’s do it’, and that was it. We couldn’t believe it. I’m a massive Cure fan and I don’t even know if it has really sunk in yet.”

There is also a chance that Smith might actually appear on stage with the band at Bestival on the Isle of Wight. They’re playing the festival on the

There they are again, keeping their feet on the ground and not losing the run of themselves. It’s a recurring sense we get throughout our interview.

There is no bravado, cockiness or arrogance about Gareth or the band. Despite what they have achieved and how far they have come, you feel like they still know what is really important. Perhaps it’s a trait of being from Derry, and when you hear about how they’re treated at their hometown shows, it might go a long way to explaining their outlook.

“The Derry shows are always really, really good.

The Sandino’s gigs are always really fun, and I think we’ll be doing one again before the end of the year.

You get to see all your mates and it brings you back down to Earth. It’s always good to have someone come and slap you in the face and tell you you’re nothing, nothing but a scumbag. It’s refreshing.”

You can take the boys out of Derry, but you can’t take Derry out of the boys.

Controlling Your Allegiance is out on June 13 via Virgin Records. www.thejapanesepopstars.co.uk

The Japanese Popstars 41 AU74

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A young boy, distinguishable by his pointed ears and sylvan green tunic, gingerly approaches a stone pedestal. His gaze meets a sword, its blade partially submerged, its hilt glinting invitingly in the light. The boy’s fingers twitch as he grips the handle, his eyes close as he pulls it upwards. The soundtrack surges triumphantly, a choir of voice and instrument, as the sword slides free from where it has been jammed for centuries. The boy stares at his own fist in disbelief then sets his face like flint as he continues on his quest. This is not a myth. It is a videogame, namely The Ocarina Of Time, widely feted by both gamers and critics alike as the finest title ever. In truth, it is just one highlight in a consistently exciting series that has just celebrated its 25th birthday...

Words by Ross Thompson Lead illustration by Mark Reihill

In a few weeks The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time will be re-released for the Nintendo 3DS, an event which is already generating huge internet buzz despite the game being 15 years old and having already been ported to multiple platforms.

Testament to the wide-eyed reverence with which Ocarina is held is the fact that fans, who have no doubt completed it umpteen times already, are frothing at the thumbs to jump back into the kingdom of Hyrule all over again. And for good reason. Since its arrival Ocarina has sold as many copies as Abbey Road or OK Computer. It bridged the notoriously difficult cleft in taste and culture between Europe and Japan, something which happens more infrequently than a lunar eclipse.

Even in our current wave of motion-controlled gizmos, online tournaments and hollow flashbangs, Ocarina remains a startlingly inventive example of world design, writing and undiluted imagination.

Debuting on the Nintendo 64 console, it not only defined that generation of releases but also set a benchmark which has rarely been matched since.

It would take the page count of an entire shelf of magazines to explain what made Ocarina so great, just as Nintendo had to make a larger capacity cartridge to store its generous contents, but that

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would firstly try your patience and secondly prevent you from heading off to discover its wonders yourself.

If we have to be reductive we could talk about the storyline, which is at once comfortably familiar and excitingly fresh, involving the aforementioned sword-bearer, a diminutive orphan named Link who may well be the prophesied hero who is destined to free the realm from an unspeakable darkness: darkness: his mortal enemy Ganondorf Dragmire.

Here there are shades of seminal tales such as King Arthur, Star Wars and Lord Of The Rings but if Joseph Campbell was correct that there are a limited number of plots in myth and fiction then at least the team picked one of the good ones. Save the world, rescue the heroine (in this case Princess Zelda, named after F. Scott Fitzgerald’s wife), win the day.

Further, the simplicity of the central narrative formed part of its charm. In comparison with the baffling, ouroboric machinations of the Final Fantasy franchise, Ocarina departed from the traditional Japanese style by being immediately engaging rather than battering the player with an onslaught of discombobulating stats and menu screens. You become the young Link the moment he sets foot outside his treehouse. The layout of the controls

THE QUEST MASTER

Shigeru Miyamoto is the creator of Pikimin, Donkey Kong and Star Fox and therefore truly deserving of the accolade “genius”. He has become the public face of Nintendo, whose calm demeanour, which some misinterpret as aloofness, is as potent a company mascot as an overexcited Super Mario – he also dreamt up the famous plumber, incidentally. Through his groundbreaking work on the Wii and 3DS Miyamoto continues to be an industry figurehead and is currently beavering away on the new Zelda title, The Skyward Sword.

THE MISSING LINK

The Zelda franchise hasn’t been without its hitches. Some games were aborted during development whilst others should never have seen the light of day. Three titles were released for Philips’ doomed CD-i console but were so execrable that even mentioning their names would see this writer forced to swallow bomb flowers. An intended third part to the Oracles (Game Boy Color, 2001) series was dropped during development and the ‘Ura’ version of Ocarina became The Master Quest which was bundled with various ports. Elsewhere, Link turned up in person or was alluded to in Soulcalibur II (2003), Super Smash Bros.

(1999), Animal Crossing (2001), Final Fantasy (1987)… clearly he’s a popular guy.

“Even in our current wave of motion-controlled gizmos, online tournaments and hollow flashbangs, The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time remains a startlingly inventive example of world design, writing and undiluted imagination.”

is intuitive and responsive, as if your digits know where to go before you tell them to. The rumble pack vibrates and pulses, mimicking Link’s forward rolls and sword parries, and buzzes when Navi, his loyal fairy companion wants to speak with him. Someone with even limited videogame experience could load up Ocarina and know exactly where to go and what to do. That’s ingenious design right there: to give the player the sensation of freedom whilst leading them along a linear, predetermined path.

Gamers today have become accustomed to the idea of an open plan, fully explorable world. In fact we expect it. Thanks to the likes of the peerless Fallout 3 (2008) we now demand a universe with its own calendar, population, currency and ecosystem yet are inured to its alchemy because we have seen it and played it so many times before.

In 1998, however, the idea of a virtual world with a functioning sunrise and sunset was entirely new and therefore exhilarating. Nothing like the country of Hyrule, with its ivory castles, haunted woods, bustling villages and caves of fire and ice, had ever been seen before. Designer Shigeru Miyamoto once explained that the intent behind Ocarina was to make players “feel as if they are visiting a place called Hyrule.” The production team achieved this goal and then some. This location, inspired by Miyamoto’s childhood in Kyoto, may be confined within the memory of a cartridge, within the square parameters of a screen,

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SECOND OPINION

Weirdly, other people love Zelda just as much as Ross does. Here’s videogame artist James Law’s take…

“Christmas Eve, 1998. I sat, Game Boy in hand, resetting the Link’s Awakening cartridge repeatedly just to hear the digitised Zelda theme tune. My eyes weren’t even looking at the screen. My imagination was in full gear. It was the night before Ocarina Of Time. From my first ever encounter with the series via A Link To The Past to the majesty that was Ocarina and beyond, the appeal to me is simple and twofold. First, the horizon. The early games hinted at it; Ocarina provided it wholesale. What could be seen in the distance could be traversed, conquered, journeyed to.

Second, courage. Link’s eternal Triforce piece embodies character and game alike. Link and player, Link as player, faces the deep dark and the creatures therein with simple, beautiful bravery. Zelda is why I love games. Zelda is why I love creating worlds. It proved to me as artist, as designer, as storyteller: that these are worthwhile endeavours.

Christmas Day, 1998. The door is closed, jellybeans at hand, N64 on. The legend begins.”

but it’s a place where anything is possible. If you spy a mountain belching fire in the distance you can and will go there. If you stumble upon a lake it’s likely that there’s an ancient temple hidden at its bottom. If you fire arrows into the sun they will fall back to earth, like Lucifer, imbued with supernatural power. Then there’s the eponymous musical instrument, a type of flute which can be played to bend time, teleport and manipulate the weather. In one memorable sequence Link is sucked into the belly of a giant fish, like Jonah, and has to find his way out of its intestines.

This principle extends to even the most incidental of details. Chop a sign in half, either vertically or horizontally, and its bisected pieces will float on a pond, gently sending ripples across the surface. Pick up a rock and bugs will scatter to find the nearest shade. The designers, of course, knew that the gamer would try that but when you do so it feels as if your imagination made it happen. This principle has shaped every Zelda iteration to date. Much of The Wind Waker (2003), whose gorgeous cel shaded graphics refreshed the colour palette of the underrated, underused Gamecube console, takes place on the high seas. You can sail to all corners of the map, explore myriad islands, fight octopuses and board a ghost ship. Even the first title in the series The Legend Of Zelda (1986), released on the humble NES, was filled with dozens of monsters, labyrinths and secrets.

Hyrule, whether its vistas and dungeons are crammed onto an 8-bit processor or a Wii optical disc, is packed full of personality. The focus, as any good writer knows, is on character rather than exposition. Although each Zelda game has its backstory, notably the threads which connect the different incarnations of Link and arch nemesis Ganon, emphasis is placed on the bizarro creatures and humans who populate the land. And what characters they are. Every Goron and Gerudo, to name two of Hyrule’s resident tribes, is individually drawn rather than cut and pasted from a template. The skew-whiff Majora’s Mask (2000), the oddest Zelda offering by a long (hook)shot, was far removed from the saccharine nature of other episodes. Like Ocarina flipped to the dark side, this Jabberwocky take on Hyrulian life featured off-centre individuals like Dampé the maudlin gravedigger, the raggedy-bone man who collects ‘Poe’ ghosts and the seriously creepy mask-seller. When Link dons one of said masks he howls in pain as he transforms into a Zora or Deku Scrub. It’s the stuff of fractured nightmares.

Those who have never touched a joypad will not know how emotive the videogame medium can be. The best titles prick your conscience with moral quandaries, make you laugh like a drain and weep like a scolded pup. Link’s Awakening (Game Boy, 1993) may have been rendered in greenish monochrome but it twanged the heartstrings

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nonetheless. Shipwrecked on a desert island, whose inhabitants are either very sleepy or under the thrall of high end opiates, Link must solve its mysteries knowing that if he does he may wake, like Caliban or Dom Cobb, and return to staid reality.

In all likelihood the player will not wish to leave either. In The Twilight Princess (Wii, 2006) Hyrule is rent asunder between parallel worlds of light and darkness. The former is vibrantly illustrated, all dancing pollen and sunbeams, while the latter is sludgy with spindly, toothsome shadows. Whereas some videogames teeter on the very edge of your attention, The Twilight Princess demands that you invest yourself wholeheartedly.

Miyamoto once said, “I’d like to be known as the person who saw things from a different point of view to others.” It’s safe to say that he fully achieved that dream, not only with Ocarina Of Time but with every other Zelda title before and after it. We live in a world where, thanks to the outraged parents fussing or press hype, fairytales are seen as harmful or guilty of giving children false expectations. We should hold onto their last remnants while we still can, believe in the promise that once Ocarina is done and dusted Link will be ready for more adventures.

One Zelda tale ending is a new one beginning.

Ocarina of Time 3D is released on June 17.

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• pg 46 Record Reviews | pg 53 Young Blood | PG 54 Live Reviews | pg 55 MOVIE & GAME REVIEWS •

Illustration by Mark Reihill

Tyler, The Creator Goblin XL

“Listen deeper to the music before you put it in a box,” urges Tyler, The Creator – erstwhile leader of L.A. hip-hop collective Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All. Truth be told, the only box that comes to mind when listening to Goblin is that of Pandora. Like that unholy vessel of Greek myth, this album contains its fair share of evil. Almost every shudder-inducing track finds a litany of loathsome acts tripping off Tyler’s bile-flecked lips. Note, for example, the nihilistic mantra of ‘Radicals’ - “kill people, burn shit, fuck school.”

If there’s a way of causing offense, then he is going to utilise it - graphic sexual sadism, casual racism and searing homophobic rants are all part of the sick mix. The title track – all sparse electronics and doom-heralding beats – beckons us enter the beast’s lair, Tyler admitting that his “brain is an obscenity / Fucked in the head, I lost my mind

with my virginity.” It’s difficult to know who he is in dialogue with; are we eavesdropping on a session with his shrink, or, more disturbingly, are we overhearing the babble between different parts of his psyche, the rational wrestling with the certifiably insane?

We’ve been here before, of course. From 2 Live Crew, to the Beasties, N.W.A. to Ice-T - baiting Middle America and Little England is practically a hip-hop rite of passage. Back in 2001, The Sun accused Eminem’s music of “promoting drugs, gun-running, torture, incest, murder, rape and armed robbery.” They’ll throw a shit-fit when they hear Goblin. No doubt that’s part of the plan, to ride the wave of indignation all the way to infamy. And there’s an element of bravado, too – a battle to see who can be the sickest puppy in the pound.

Taken in this context, the shock and awe tactic of titles such as ‘Bitch Suck Dick’, or lyrics like those in ‘Tron Cat’ – “rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesome” – begin to make sense.

Elsewhere, when he laments being abandoned by his father and prone to thoughts of suicide, we see traces of humanity lurking beneath the devilscaled exterior. Note, too, the unrequited yearning of ‘Her’, or sweet promise of ‘Analog’.

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Of course, such relatively tender moments will not excite the same comment as the brutal lyrics and depraved episodes Tyler recounts. Still, this is an album which has value beyond that of mere shock.

For, even if you find the lyrics utterly unpalatable, you have to admire the articulacy with which Tyler describes his abhorrent fantasies, his flow as sweet as a chocolate fountain. The music, like the wordplay, is dextrous and arresting - be it the R&B kick of ‘She’, the spaced-out beats of ‘AU79’, the suffocatingly sinister textures of ‘Nightmare’, or wonky-synth assault of ‘Golden’. Throughout, jagged electronic textures underpin the supple rhymes, the vocals providing an additional layer of hypnotic melody.

Ultimately, then, the greatest crime would not be those so colourfully depicted by Tyler, but that his music, bold and imaginative as it is, be known only for the controversy it will undoubtedly provoke.

Francis Jones

KEY TRACKS: ‘GOBLIN’, ‘YONKERS’, ‘NIGHTMARE’, ‘TRON CAT’.

FOR FANS OF: LIL WAYNE, EMINEM, THE COOL KIDS.

The Middle East I Want That You Are Always Happy PLAY IT AGAIN SAM

Cashier No.9 To The Death Of Fun BELLA UNION

Northern Irish bands sometimes seem to specialise in long gestation periods, but in Cashier No.9’s case, the years that have passed since Danny Todd debuted the name in the early 00s have been well spent. Through gigs as a trio, then a quartet and now a fully-fleshed-out five-piece, the band’s live stock has always been high, and after a trip to the States to record their debut album with fellow Belfast man David Holmes, their promise has been realised and fans’ – and the band’s – patience rewarded.

Such is the confidence at work that old favourites like ‘When Jackie Shone’ and ‘42 West Avenue’ have been jettisoned, presumably because they didn’t fit the bucolic mood. Holmes’ production

is reminiscent of his own last album, The Holy Pictures – the superb ‘Oh Pity’ shares some of its head-down motorik drive, while the whole thing is lush, dense and full of clever touches, such as the timpani rolls on chiming single ‘Goldstar’ and the cavernous reverb on dreamy closer 6%.

And songs which never quite hit the spot live, like ‘Lost At Sea’, have been brilliantly realised in the studio – it’s all gauzy synth, wailing harmonica and an infectiously shuffling rhythm.

In all, it’s quite an achievement: if a band that has been around this long can be said to have hit the ground running, that’s exactly what Cashier No.9 have done. Chris Jones

KEY TRACKS: ‘GOLDSTAR’, ‘OH PITY’, ‘THE LIGHTHOUSE WILL LEAD YOU OUT’.

FOR FANS OF: DAVID HOLMES, THE STONE ROSES, WILCO.

Dom Sun Bronzed Greek Gods EP

Burning Codes Rivers Of Hope

REGAL

INDIECATER

And so another band rolls into town armed with surfy undertones and reverb-drenched vocals. It’s impossible not to draw comparisons to Best Coast and Surfer Blood when describing Dom but while they don’t really cover any ground those two acts haven’t already treaded upon, they do have some good tunes up their sleeves. Opener ‘Living In America’ is a case in point, packing its infectious “It’s so sexy, baby / living in America” chorus, as is ‘Burn Bridges’, with its dreamy Japanophile synths and dual vocal lines. Sun Bronzed Greek Gods is, as the title hints at, perfect summer soundtrack material.

All Dom have to do now is to focus on letting their own identity shine through in their work before they tackle their first full-length. That could be easier said than done, though. Patrick Conboy

KEY TRACKS: ‘LIVING IN AMERICA’, ‘BURN BRIDGES’.

FOR FANS OF: BEST COAST, SURFER BLOOD, WAVVES.

Burning Codes is the recording alias of Belfast songsmith Paul Archer, a regular collaborator with the Snow Patrol collective. His latest release, Rivers of Hope, is an exceptionally polished listen, smooth around the edges like the trim on a vintage car; not dull, but sleek and impassioned. The hushed, harmonised vocals on ‘Our One Desire’ resonate like Neil Young’s on After The Gold Rush, mixing in without a hitch from the tense, terse ‘Switch’, the absolute standout track. ‘Only Gone’ kicks in with a familiar bass anchor and gels into something quite accomplished that grows in the part of the brain reserved for catchiness. These are emotionally strong songs that breathe intimacy, dictate their own space and lift you out of yours. Jeremy Shields

KEY TRACKS: ‘SWITCH’, ‘OUR ONE DESIRE’, ‘HEY HEY HEY’, ‘THE LADDER’.

FOR FANS OF: SNOW PATROL, ATHLETE, IAIN ARCHER.

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They hail from Townsville in Queensland, Australia, they’re called The Middle East and they sound like a summit meeting between all your favourite American alt. rock and folk acts.

Suffice to say, this is a band that bamboozles expectations, the 14 songs that comprise the group’s debut album proper displaying unbridled imagination. At times, as they careen from one style to another, it can all become rather dizzying, but the six-piece’s ambition must be applauded.

There are harmony-flecked melodies to make a Fleet Fox weep with envy (‘As I Go To See Janey’) and moments of quiet contemplation that draw from the same deep well as Bon Iver (‘Very Many’). Other flavours include the Neil Youngevoking jangle of ‘Land of The Bloody Unknown’, the simple majesty of the piano-led ‘Sydney To Newcastle’ and the final, jazz-inflected freak-out of ‘Mount Morgan End’. It’s a strange old journey alright, a quest – as the joyous ‘Hunger Song’ makes explicit – with a spiritual vibe. Best hop on board before this bandwagon is well and truly jumped. Francis Jones

KEY TRACKS: ‘LAND OF THE BLOODY UNKNOWN’, ‘HUNGER SONG’, ‘NINTH AVENUE REVERIE’.

FOR FANS OF: BAND OF HORSES, THE BYRDS, MIDLAKE.

The Weeknd House of Balloons THE-WEEKND.COM

Initially something of an enigma, The Weeknd, aka R&B singer/producer Abel Tesfaye, first released a number of tracks anonymously toward the end of last year. Championed by the likes of hip hop luminary Drake, the immediate buzz generated was, by default or design, substantial. An album swiftly followed.

House Of Balloons is nine songs of blackened, sticky desire, longing and after-hours regret. It’s about as mainstream R&B as a page from Serge Gainsbourg’s diary.

Just as Massive Attack once had the ability to be simultaneously sweet and disconcerting, so House of Balloons leaves the listener feeling seduced and ever-so-slightly soiled by the experience. On the title track, for example, a perfectly measured sample of Siouxsie and the Banshees’ ‘Happy House’ melds into a scorching vignette of barely-contained desperation, like the end of a mad party and you’re about to leave on your own. A striking, strident and oh-so-manipulative document of manicured despair, House Of Balloons is the dark first of a mooted trilogy of albums. Things are bound to seem brighter in the morning. Joe Nawaz

KEY TRACKS: ‘HOUSE OF BALLOONS/ GLASS TABLE GIRLS’, ‘WHAT YOU NEED’, ‘THE KNOWING’.

FOR FANS OF: DRAKE, NICKI MINAJ, MASSIVE ATTACK

Arctic Monkeys Suck It And See DOMINO

If 2009’s Humbug was a desert-wandering, Josh Homme-laced, sonic palette cleanser, Arctic Monkeys’ fourth album finds them in a focused, fiery mood. Produced by trusted mucker James Ford, the Sheffield quartet took a set of fullyformed, meticulously-rehearsed songs to L.A.’s Sound City Studios and, well, nailed them. This is not a raw indie band any longer; Suck It And See is a hugely impressive album from a formidable rock group. And first impressions can be misleading – with their usual wilfulness, the streamed teaser track ‘Brick By Brick’ is merely a glam-stomp outlier; the opening hook-laden power rock of ‘She’s Thunderstorms’ and ‘Black Treacle’ both truer to the album’s sonic tone.

Lyrically, Alex Turner may now be more oblique, but there are still plenty of trademark quips, as on the damning “ip, dip, dog shit rock ‘n’ roll” put down on the ferocious ‘Library Pictures’ or throb of “topless models doing semaphore” on the twinkling pop of ‘Reckless Serenade’. Closer ‘That’s Where You Are Wrong’ is a soaring gem – everything The Stone Roses’ Second Coming should have been, and proof positive that Arctic Monkeys have evolved into everything you want them to be. John Freeman

KEY TRACKS: ‘BLACK TREACLE’, ‘THE HELLCAT SPANGLED SHALALALA’, ‘THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE WRONG’.

FOR FANS OF: QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, THE STONE ROSES, THE LAST SHADOW PUPPETS.

Fucked Up David Comes To Life MATADOR

In the logical next step for what is probably the most popular non-first wave hardcore band in the world at the moment, Fucked Up have decided to follow-up their broadly acclaimed Chemistry Of Common Life with a rock opera set in Thatcherite Britain. It’s high concept – narrators shift and the ‘truth’ of the lyrics to the overall story is sometimes questionable. But

it’s also loud, effectual punk music with all the trappings Fucked Up bring with them to dress that, from female vocals to washed out intros and outros. Even if you don’t follow the four-act story, this is heavy, primarily live-focused band at the very top of their game, and it feels like they can’t go wrong. Now, how do we get it on Broadway? Karl McDonald

KEY TRACKS: ‘QUEEN OF HEARTS’, ‘TURN THE SEASON’, ‘RUNNING ON NOTHING’.

FOR FANS OF: PISSED JEANS, DILLINGER FOUR, NO AGE.

SBTRKT SBTRKT

WU LYF Go Tell Fire To The Mountain

The Minutes Marcata

YOUNG TURKS

EAT SLEEP

MODEL CITIZEN

With a name that suggests you are about to walk into a wall of scuzzy electro-noise with Burialesque mystery and Zomby-esque disdain for, well, everything, Aaron Jerome’s debut album is a nice surprise. Having delivered some tasty EPs, remixes and 12” singles since 2009, SBTRKT has covered plenty of dubby, bassy, housey, clickety ground. And this album sucks all that up and blows out a wellcrafted mix of the lot. From opener ‘Heatwave’ – all shimmering light and oasis visions – to melancholic mini-thumper ‘Hold On’ with UK James Blake-alike crooner Sampha (whom AU caught supporting Glasser not so long ago and who was sweet as) this is confident, summery, electronic tuneage. The already released ‘Wildfire (feat. Yukimi)’ is instantly catchy with its squelchy riff throughout, while the dubby house of ‘Right Thing To Do (feat. Jessie Ware)’ has a breakdown to die for, putting you right inside that sweaty Croydon club Burial seems to be permanently passing by. Adam Lacey

KEY TRACKS: ‘RIGHT THING TO DO, ‘WILDFIRE’.

FOR FANS OF: SAMPHA, KATY B, MAGNETIC MAN.

Since appearing in a mysterious fog of hype last year, Manchester’s WU LYF – it stands for World Unite Lucifer Youth Foundation – have done well to maintain their enigmatic profile. The interest conjured up by their ingenious (anti-)marketing plan enabled them to strike a publishing deal, consequently allowing them to release this debut album on their own label.

That self-enabling, DIY ethic – playing the fools of the music industry at their own game (and winning) – is commendable enough, but, luckily, the music backs it up. Although, after a while, Ellery Roberts’ gruff, growling vocals (think a special needs Tom Waits gargling razorblades) do grate, the romantic, passionate, organ-led, quasi-spiritual uplift of ‘L Y F’, the perverse lullaby of ‘Such A Sad Puppy Dog’ and the majestic ‘Spitting Blood’ are quite wonderful displays of off-kilter grandeur. It’s not a perfect album, but it’s full of some truly fascinating, moving and compelling moments. Mischa Pearlman

These three lads from the northside of Dublin aren’t interested in sonic innovation, but that isn’t a problem, because their debut album is authentically gritty, pulse-quickening rock ‘n’ roll in the grand style.

If Marcata had been released 10 years ago it would have slotted nicely among the likes of The Datsuns and The D4 – backward-looking and blunt, yes, but those bands infused their bluesy garage rock with a healthy dose of punk energy, and so do The Minutes.

‘Secret History’ and ‘Heartbreaker’ are among the highlights – short, sharp shocks of riffin’ and hollerin’ – but that’s not all this lot can do. To whit, the superb, brass-assisted single ‘Black Keys’ with its soaring chorus, the chaotic ‘Fleetwood’, which smothers its tight groove with horns, harmonica and piano before snapping back into the song, or the late album tracks ‘Guilt Quilt’ and ‘I.M.T.O.D.’, where they slow down and stretch out with huge riffs just made for the open road. Chris Jones

KEY TRACKS: ‘SPITTING BLOOD’, ‘L Y F’, ‘SUCH A SAD PUPPY DOG’.

FOR FANS OF: ARCADE FIRE, TOM WAITS, KINGS OF LEON.

KEY TRACKS: ‘BLACK KEYS’, ‘SECRET HISTORY’, ‘GOLD’.

FOR FANS OF: THE DATSUNS, THE VON BONDIES, THE DIRTBOMBS.

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Cults Cults COLUMBIA

If anyone ever doubted the power of online endorsement then check out hotly-tipped New York indie-poppers Cults. Just a year ago Brian Oblivion and Madeline Follin were making their retro-flavoured music for fun. Today, they stand on the brink of a major breakthrough. Thankfully, the hype is wholly merited and Cults is a record packed full of bright, upbeat tracks, both heavily influenced by the sound of Sixties girl groups and doo-wop, yet distinctly fresh and interesting. Inspired by the atmospherics of yesteryear, Cults is a subtle record, musically straightforward and beautifully decorated

by Madeline’s mesmerising voice. ‘Abducted’ kicks things off in fine style, opening quietly before exploding into life with its driving, danceable rhythm and tale of wasted love. While the music is largely upbeat, it’s often in direct contrast to the song’s lyrical content, “He took it all away and left me to bleed, bleed out.” Enthralling and delightful indie-pop, destined for greatness this summer. Eamonn Seoige

KEY TRACKS: ‘ABDUCTED’, ‘GO OUTSIDE’, ‘OH MY GOD’.

FOR FANS OF: RAVEONETTES, DUM DUM GIRLS, SUMMER CAMP.

Chad VanGaalen Diaper Island SUB POP

Awkward, angular, eccentric – whatever epithets one wishes to attach to VanGaalen’s skewed mix of garage rock and Americana, it’s clear that it isn’t straightforward listening. What it is, though, is rather addictive. An aggressive undertone of white noise saturates rockier numbers like ‘Burning Photographs’, ‘Replace Me’ and the sleazy crunch of ‘Blonde Hash’. Balancing out this thuggery is the languid lollop of ‘Heavy Stones’, the whistlingled folk of ‘Sara’ and the soulful harmonies of ‘Wandering Spirit’ and ‘No Panic/No Heat’. What we are to make of oddly affecting closer ‘Shave My Pussy’, though, is anyone’s guess. Lee Gorman

KEY TRACKS: ‘DO NOT FEAR’, ‘PEACE ON THE RISE’, ‘BURNING PHOTOGRAPHS’.

FOR FANS OF: GRIZZLY BEAR, LIGAMENT, WOMEN.

The Antlers Burst Apart FRENCHKISS

The Antlers’ zeitgeist-allergic Hospice was, for a few, the only indie-rock game in town in 2009, an album unafraid to tackle serious lyrical subject matter (cancer and death) in a serious manner, with some beautiful instrumentation to match. It is a long and dark shadow, then, that Burst Apart must step out from, but step out it does, thanks to a shift in lyrical

outlook (if moving from obsessive terror to a feeling of pervasive gloom, can be called a shift) and an expansion of its predecessor’s musical make-up to include electronic textures and a more experimental approach to rhythm.

This vaguely electronic new sound coalesces best on tracks like ‘French Exit’ and ‘Parentheses’, where Peter Silberman’s lyrics are offset by robust rhythmic music that seems to want to blow some, if not all, of Hospice’s despair away. Elsewhere, excellent songs like ‘Every Night My Teeth Are Falling Out’ are pleasingly obstinate reminders that, as much as they might like the odd foot-shuffle, these guys aren’t going to knock out a light-weight chillwave release anytime soon. Darragh McCausland

playground mentality of ‘Bad Mammaries’, but also moments of tender reflection on the likes of ‘For My Mother’. Who knows, when they’re all grown-up, these boys might become something truly special. Francis Jones

KEY TRACKS: ‘IN THE SUBURBS’, BAD MAMMARIES’, ‘I AM USEFUL’.

FOR FANS OF: WEEZER, BUZZCOCKS, RAMONES.

Maybeshewill I Was Here For A Moment, Then I Was Gone FUNCTION

KEY TRACKS: ‘PARENTHESES’, ‘ROLLED TOGETHER’.

FOR FANS OF: THE WALKMEN, ARCADE FIRE.

The Suspended Congress The Suspended Congress SELF-RELEASED

Describing themselves as a “doom jazz” act, The Suspended Congress are indeed far from your runof-the-mill rock three-piece. With a schizophrenic, groove-heavy sound branching out into a dozen different directions, their self-titled debut fuses the progressive dabblings of SikTh and Tool with the technical virtuosity of Eric Dolphy’s Out To Lunch and King Crimson circa Discipline. Opener ‘Captain Heavy’ sets the tempo with intense polyrhythmic drumming, face-tearing riffs and a fierce unpredictability reminiscent of Chickenhawk and Beehoover. Courtesy of some truly ingenious passages of elaborate interplay (‘FATWA’ in particular) Layne Staley-esque vocals and a remarkable knack for catching you off-guard, The Suspended Congress is a gutsy and thoroughly accomplished effort from the Belfast-based band. Brian Coney

KEY TRACKS: ‘BUILD TO BE MONSTER’, ‘CAPTAIN HEAVY’, ‘FATWA’.

FOR FANS OF: TOOL, CHICKENHAWK, KING CRIMSON.

Let’s Wrestle Nursing Home FULL TIME HOBBY

Nursing Home – the second outing for Londonbased Let’s Wrestle – is a bratty and hyperactive collection, the individual tracks scrapping for attention like a bunch of mewling siblings. Rather than prettify, producer Steve Albini has ensured that the songs retain all of the band’s pockmarked character. With a dozen cuts delivered in little more than half an hour, it’s a record that doesn’t hang about. Consequently, on first listen it all sounds rather rushed, a sonic supermarket sweep with all sorts of half-baked ideas thrown into the punk-rock mix. Thankfully, return visits yield fresh rewards. There’s also a feeling that the trio are maturing. So, not only do we get the offbeat humour of ‘There’s A Rockstar In My Room’ and

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This, the third album by the part-electronic instrumental rockers, is the first to be recorded in an actual studio, but it still sees the band maintain their DIY ethic, keeping production duties solely between band members. The record certainly sounds much sharper and the guitars less muddy than on previous albums, while the 18 months of writing was certainly well spent as it displays an uplifting, tighter, more distinctive sound, keeping them firmly out of the shadow of post-rock giants like Explosions In The Sky and Mogwai. While the grandiose orchestration, as is often the case in the genre, can sometimes get slightly overblown, the electronic aspect of Maybeshewill and the original, often posthardcore, riffage sets the band apart from their peers in many ways. Steadily improving, the best is yet to come from Maybeshewill. Stevie Lennox

KEY TRACKS: ‘ACCOLADES’, ‘AN END TO CAMERADERIE’, ‘RELATIVE MINORS’.

FOR FANS OF: 65DAYSOFSTATIC, YOU SLUT!, AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR.

Jóhann Jóhannson The Miners’ Hymns 130701/FATCAT

Stemming from a collaboration between Icelandic composer Jóhannsson and American experimental filmmaker Bill Morrison, The Miners’ Hymns was originally presented as a live performance at Durham Cathedral over two nights in July 2010.

The score as presented here (a film is also being released) is a solemn and stately affair. Inspired by the struggles of mining communities in the face of the increasing decimation of their industry, there’s a bleak tone to much of it, conjuring images of decay. A 16-piece brass ensemble features, but is used sparingly: Jóhannsson’s overall approach is minimal and subtle. Closing piece ‘The Cause of Labour is the Hope of the World’ changes tack and is a genuinely moving moment, with a swelling, stirring arrangement that conveys the resilience of the human spirit. Daniel Harrison

KEY TRACKS: ‘THE CAUSE OF LABOUR IS THE HOPE OF THE WORLD’, ‘AN INJURY TO ONE IS THE CONCERN OF ALL’.

FOR FANS OF: ÓLAFUR ARNALDS, VALGEIR SIGURÐSSON.

Battles Gloss Drop WARP

Battles’ second album arrives after the departure of multi-instrumentalist and singer Tyondai Braxton, the man responsible for the inspired pitch-shifting vocals on what is undoubtedly the band’s bestknown song, ‘Atlas’. While it’s hard not to wonder what’s been lost, the resulting trio sound superior.

‘Africastle’ rises like a giant snapped into life by John Stanier’s fractured, taut rhythms. Lead single ‘Ice Cream’, with vocals by Mathias Aguayo, is an addictive, off-kilter summer anthem.

Throughout, Dave Konopka and Ian Williams use guitars and keyboards to build patterns that sound like the work of five musicians, but the sounds on Gloss Drop combine in a way that makes the beloved debut Mirrored sound busy by comparison.

Guest vocalists appear on three more tracks; Kazu Makino sings sexily on ‘Sweetie & Shag’, while Gary Numan crops up on the dramatic, bass-heavy ‘My Machines’. Final song ‘Sundome’, with chants and wails from Boredoms vocalist Yamantaka Eye, contains the kind of thing you might hear at an ice-hockey final contested between Amazonian soothsayers and ancient Japanese medicine men.

It’s brilliant and, like every other track, rousing and beautifully resolved. Kiran Acharya

KEY TRACKS: ‘ICE CREAM’, ‘INCHWORM’, ‘MY MACHINES’.

FOR FANS OF: FOUR TET, THE CONTINUOUS BATTLE OF ORDER, RICHARD D JAMES.

Death Cab for Cutie Codes And Keys ATLANTIC

Death Cab for Cutie suffer from a sort of reverse Robbie Williams syndrome, in that they are positively huge in the States and couldn’t get arrested on this side of the pond. It’s weird that they have never gained the foothold, especially considering that material from their previous record Narrow Stairs was jimmied into practically every big-budget teen TV show going. Codes And Keys, however, marks a definite change from the band’s usual insipid guitar stylings, and it might reverse their fortunes in the British/Irish market. Perhaps drawing inspiration from Ben Gibbards’ Postal Service project, Codes And Keys pulls off some smart tricks with electronics, such as the gentle pads of synth that float through ‘St Peter’s Cathedral’ and the distorted rhythms of ‘Home is a Fire.’ Exciting as these changes may be, it must be remembered that we are talking about the context of a Death Cab For Cutie album. In other words this is a pleasantly produced platter of easy-listening emo for grown up kids. Darragh McCausland

KEY TRACKS: ‘ST PETER’S CATHEDRAL’, ‘HOME IS A FIRE’.

FOR FANS OF: THE POSTAL SERVICE, NOAH AND THE WHALE.

Bon Iver Bon Iver 4AD

There must have been moments in the years following 2008’s For Emma, Forever Ago that Justin Vernon wished he’d never mentioned that bloody log cabin; the location of the album’s recording seemed more important to some than its remarkable contents. Last year, after his dabblings with Kanye, Vernon retired to a proper studio with a full band to lay down the 10 tracks that comprise Bon Iver. Make no mistake, this is a different beast to Emma...’s frail tales of heartache; the atmospheric lo-fi crackle of home recordings has been replaced by a cleaner sound,

although one that’s certainly more musically and rhythmically off-grid, and even occasionally self-indulgent as a result. Yet Vernon’s gorgeous ghostly falsetto remains the lynchpin that holds tracks like the jumbled, multi-parted ‘Minnesota, WI’, the measured, squirrely throb of ‘Hinnom, TX’ and the harmony-flushed standout ‘Towers’ together, while the addition of synth on the Eighties power ballad-esque ‘Beth/Rest’ will surprise many. Perhaps a curveball for fans who were expecting another album of serene lovelorn beauty, but something tells us that Vernon knew exactly what he was doing. Lauren Murphy

KEY TRACKS: ‘TOWERS’, ‘HOLOCENE’, ‘HINNOM, TX’.

FOR FANS OF: SUFJAN STEVENS, GAYNGS.

My Morning Jacket Circuital

Amon Tobin Isam

ROUGH TRADE

NINJA TUNE

Having left many of their fans cold with the brave but often directionless meanderings of 2008’s Evil Urges, My Morning Jacket are back on track for their sixth album. Circuital’s reverb-loaded, atmospheric numbers (‘The Day is Coming’) and knee-slapping southern rock tunes (‘Victory Dance’) will sate the old guard, but where the quintet excel is when they’re pushing boundaries without losing the run of themselves – as heard on the superb ‘Holdin’ On To Black Metal’, a stalking, slinky song that throws streaks of brass, funk, and a choir into the mix, or on the simplistic lap steel guitar-hued ‘Wonderful’.

A well-rounded and consistently enthralling record that epitomises how to be ambitious without being pretentious. Lauren Murphy

KEY TRACKS: ‘HOLDIN’ ON TO BLACK METAL’, ‘THE DAY IS COMING’.

FOR FANS OF: DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, BAND OF HORSES, WILCO.

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Amon Tobin’s eighth album picks up where 2007’s The Foley Room left off, utilising heavily-processed found sounds to create his head-spinning, avantgarde take on breakbeat. His latest effort is so out there as to make attempts at classification largely meaningless: Isam is a bold, psychedelic, experimental record. That’s not to suggest it’s hard work - far from it. Opener ‘Journeyman’, for example, might be full of otherworldly noise and indecipherable sounds, but this is offset by a truly beguiling keyboard motif. It’s excellent stuff, as is the hypnotic, eastern-tinged ‘Lost & Found’.

Running the gamut of moods from blissed-out and dreamy (‘Wooden Toy’) to foreboding and downright sinister (the slow-mo, nightmarish ‘Mass & Spring’), Isam is a typically adventurous effort from a true sonic explorer. Neill Dougan

KEY TRACKS: ‘JOURNEYMAN’, ‘LOST & FOUND’.

FOR FANS OF: PREFUSE 73, CLOUDDEAD.

The Japanese Popstars Controlling Your Allegiance VIRGIN

Controlling Your Allegiance is the follow-up to the Derry trio’s storming 2008 debut We Just Are, and while only a few years separate the albums, there is a huge gulf in terms of songwriting. Considering how good We Just Are was, this is very far from damning it with faint praise. Whereas the debut was a non-stop, relentless barrage of bangers that you could use to get the party started (or, frequently, to keep it going), Controlling Your Allegiance is a much more diverse, deeper collection of songs. This is the kind of record you want to actually listen to as well as dance to.

Rather than having one tempo range that drives the whole album, it meanders and sways, creating a journey that you want to follow to the end.

We haven’t even mentioned the guest vocalists and collaborators yet, and that’s because this record would stand on its own without them. This is very much a Japanese Popstars album, and despite bringing in the diverse talents of luminaries such as Jon Spencer, of Blues Explosion fame, Morgan Kibby from M83, techno pioneer Green Velvet and legendary The Cure mainman Robert Smith, their contributions never overshadow the songs – they complement what is an already great body of work.

Jon Spencer’s deep, almost creepy vocal works like a charm on the electro throb of ‘Destroy’, and Robert Smith’s haunting voice is practically made for the ethereal ‘Take Forever’.

In their own terms, this album is a giant leap forward. In anyone else’s terms, it’s easily one of the best electronic albums of 2011. Jonny Tiernan

KEY TRACKS: ‘DESTROY’, ‘FALCON PUNCH’, ‘TAKE FOREVER’.

FOR FANS OF: THE CHEMICAL BROTHERS, SIMIAN MOBILE DISCO, VITALIC.

Gomez Whatever’s On Your Mind EAT SLEEP

Patrick Wolf Lupercalia HIDEOUT

As Ronan Keating once observed, “life is a rollercoaster.” Patrick Wolf would surely nod his head in agreement with this sagely sentiment.

2009’s The Bachelor saw the London singersongwriter plunged into the deeps, miserable and heartbroken. On ‘Who Will?’ he pleaded “From the ashes of all the crashes / Who will be the one?”. Seems Cupid’s since struck.

Lupercalia finds Wolf buoyant again, purified in mind and spirit. ‘The City’ and ‘The Future’ are big, bold and joyous, they shout from the rooftops, demand that you bear witness to this love. ‘Time Of My Life’, meanwhile, is a fuzzy-headed swoon into a lover’s arms, melody

falling like confetti on the heads of newlyweds.

The arrangements throughout are as crisp and ordered as an OCD sufferer’s stationary-drawer.

Only ‘Slow Motion’, with its electronic noodling and Yoko Ono-emulating shrieks, hints at past excesses. ‘The Days’, however, is the sweetest strawberry in this particular punnet, strings gracefully cutting in on a shuffling rhythm and whisking us off into sweet romantic reveries.

What’s remarkable is that the love story, the oldest, most cliche-ridden yarn of all, is somehow made to sound new-told. And, with Patrick Wolf as storyteller, it’s a tale you will want to hear time and again. Francis Jones

13 years after scooping the Mercury Prize, it’s heartening to find that Gomez are still capable of producing decent tunes. Whatever’s On Your Mind is the band’s seventh LP, and while the years have reined in the band’s kookier instincts, it’s an album of smart, smoothly-done indie-pop which retains the charm of their previous work. Ben Ottewell’s trademark rasp is inescapable, and those horns never disappear for long, but this is an accessible album full of catchy melodies. It’s a refreshingly cheerful album and existing Gomez fans will probably gobble it up, but it does feel a bit too lightweight to haul the band back into the mainstream – and relevance. Mike Ravenscroft

KEY TRACKS: ‘THIS CITY’, ‘THE DAYS’, ‘TOGETHER’.

FOR FANS OF: DAVID SYLVIAN, KATE BUSH, ANTONY & THE JOHNSONS.

KEY TRACKS: ‘OPTIONS’, ‘THE PLACE AND THE PEOPLE’, ‘SONG IN MY HEART’.

FOR FANS OF: BADLY DRAWN BOY, THE ELECTRIC SOFT PARADE.

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Young Blood Your indispensable guide to new releases from up-and-coming acts Words by Chris Jones

Event Horses Dance With The Devil EP Heralded by a guttural scream by frontman Lee Cartwright, Event Horses’ second EP is a bracing nine minutes of north coast hardcore. Well, it’s an increase on the debut, which clocked in at six – self-indulgent, they’re not. But they are just the kind of bratty young punks the Northern Irish scene needs – the title track rivals the power of The Bronx at their most ferocious, and while the lyrics could use some work, Cartwright’s holler is pretty convincing, and you can’t argue with the tightly coiled cacophony of ‘Desperate Time’ and ‘From The Start’. This lot will be a force to be reckoned with for some time to come.

- facebook.com/eventhorses

Futurescope Sound Is Active EP While we frequently cover electronic music in these pages, it’s not often we have call to review some genuine, 10-years-ago trance. But that’s what Futurescope, aka Niall Hilary, serves up on the title track of this EP. Hilary performs gigs with a live band, but on record it’s all his own work, and while the endorphin rush of the synth stabs borders on cheesy here, we imagine it’s a lot of fun on stage. More successful is the tasteful bedroom house of ‘One Heart’, where the hands-in-the-air dynamics are set to one side in favour of a slowly arpeggiated slow build and gently manipulated female vocals. Low-key is the way to go, we reckon.

- futurescope.bandcamp.com

Come On Live Long Come On Live Long EP ‘Folktronica’ is a bit of a dirty word these days but it’s the best way to describe Dublin newcomers Come On Live Long. Having formed only a few months ago, this EP is impressively accomplished, featuring two beautifully written, folky songs and a lush sound weaving together synthesisers and samples with guitar, ukulele and percussion. It comes as no surprise to learn that Conor Gaffney of the similarly minded Nouveaunoise was at the controls, but as good as the EP is, we really want to see them live – the surge of washed-out synths halfway through ‘Animal’ has the makings of a really special live moment.

- comeonlivelong.bandcamp.com

InProfile: ACT: Event Horses FROM: Ballycastle, Co. Antrim MEMBERS: Lee Cartwright (guitar, vocals),

Carl Quinn (bass), Daniel Egerton

(drums).

FOR FANS OF: LaFaro, The Bronx, Gallows.

WEBSITE: facebook.com/eventhorses Following the example of their north coast heroes And So I Watch You From Afar and Axis Of, youthful hardcore trio Event Horses plan to spend the summer gigging all over Northern Ireland in support of new EP Dance With The Devil.

Time for a chat…

Tell us about the band. When, how and why did you get together?

Lee: Well it was April last year, getting near the end of college and I really wanted to get something going over the summer before everyone had to go to uni.

Carl: Lee had been talking about starting a band for a while and I was like, ‘Get me involved’. In the end it was our mate that pushed us forward.

He put us on the set for a gig when we only had 4 songs written. Everyone thought we were lethal though so we did it again...

Who would you cite as the biggest influence on your sound?

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Carl: We’re not trying to be like anyone in particular. We listen to a lot of Reuben, Gallows and Cancer Bats so you can see it in there but I like to think there’s an element of originality.

You have a really hectic touring schedule around Northern Ireland. Do you think it’s especially important to do that?

Carl: Aye, I think it is, so we can get our name out there… get some recognition. We’re more underground, we need people to be like, ‘Did you hear that band Event Horses? They’re pure pumpin’’. And if we get big enough here it means we can go tour the UK and people will know us...

Have you been especially inspired by how any other bands go about things?

Carl: LaFaro, ‘cause their touring schedule is amazing and ASIWYFA as they’re always busy and doing stuff… that’s why they have so much going for them Lee: Cancer Bats too, they’re always on tour.

That’s what we want to be doing, just touring and having the craic.

You release your second EP in July. What are your plans after that?

Carl: We want to go record again with Rocky O’Reilly and Andrew Ferris in Start Together Studios [in Belfast].

Lee: Aye, we want to work on an album, start writing and stuff. Ultimately we want to be touring. A UK tour would be amazing.

LIVE REVIEWS

The Great Escape Various venues, Brighton Belfast’s gig scene isn’t London, or even Dublin, so any chance to scoop up a load of buzz – and yet-tobe-buzzed – bands in one weekend is an enticing prospect. Then you factor in a weekend in one of England’s most picturesque, not to mention damn cool cities, and a trip to The Great Escape becomes something of a no-brainer.

Day one begins with Australians Cloud Control, whose Yeasayer-esque hippy tendencies are channelled into strong indie-pop songs, with charisma and harmonies to spare. Twin Shadow is a slightly lacklustre let-down, failing to reproduce the snappy funk of the record but ending on a high note with the stately ‘Forget’. The night’s highpoint, however, comes from New Yorkers Gang Gang Dance.

‘House Jam’, ‘Glass Jar’ and ‘Mindkilla’ hit the spot, but the highlight is an extended freeform jam, band members getting sweaty among the crowd while their colleagues onstage whip up a dense, bass-heavy stew of house, dancehall and dub rhythms. Stunning.

The second day is characterised by queues, as we endure a long wait to see Gallops’ Battles-aping set upstairs in the Prince Albert pub, and fail to catch Danish songstress Oh Land as well as Josh T Pearson, both of whom pack out their venues, and then some.

Aside from the extremely dull The Radio Dept., however, the sets we do see largely deliver the goods.

New Zealanders The Phoenix Foundation are on their fourth album and the experience shows, as their breezy pop-rock gains muscle and swirling layers of sound in the live setting. The alternative to Oh Land is just next door, as Canadian husband-and-wife duo Handsome Furs’ camp, intense electro-pop has the kids at the front going understandably daft. Later, the queue for Josh T. Pearson becomes the queue for Villagers and we eventually get in just in time for their excellent set, O’Brien’s clipped tones and searing gaze commanding perfect silence. ‘On A Sunlit Stage’ is an exquisite way to finish a long night.

On the Saturday, we decide to choose our venues wisely in order to pack in as many sets as possible.

First, we make our way to the FMC Irish Showcase at the Prince Albert. Again, it’s a long wait to get upstairs and the room is utterly rammed by the time Darragh Nolan’s Sacred Animals begin their set, but their spectral melodies and gentle harmonies are a soothing start to the day. Acoustic troubadour Fionn Regan is mightily impressive, completely captivating a packed room with his intricate finger-picking, quirky lyrics and strong vocals, while Funeral Suits’ high-octane, slightly melodramatic indie rock is more notable for frontman Brian James’s ridiculous, EMF-style get-up than the songs. No such sartorial concerns with And So I Watch You From Afar – of

PHOTO BY KIERAN FROST

Sufjan Stevens Olympia Theatre, Dublin There’s a rather important visitor in town tonight – Queen Elizabeth II herself, at a dinner for sundry members of the great, the good and the not-so-good of the Southern and Northern Irish political establishment in Dublin Castle. But the real action is literally right across the street in the Olympia, where indie-folk-troubadour-turnedradical-sonic-adventurer Sufjan Stevens puts on a show that is, quite simply, majestic.

a monkey mask and some kind of space rocketthemed costume made out of tinfoil. Then there’s the constant dancing, from both Sufjan himself (the man busts a mean move) and his enthusiastic female backing vocalists. There are trippy, 3-D visuals, a psychedelic light show and two lengthy spoken intervals – mini-lectures, almost – from the singer explaining his current musical direction.

What unfolds on stage is utterly mad, and hugely entertaining. The first thing to grab your attention is the unusual attire. Stevens himself (who initially sports a giant pair of angel’s wings) appears to be wearing a wetsuit emblazoned in gaudy fluorescent strips of colour. The neon theme runs through his whole band (11 people in total, including two drummers, a horn section and a pair of backing singers) so that the overriding impression is of a sort of crazed Tron fan convention – even the instruments are covered in luminous day-glo paint. As the night wears on, Stevens will at various points don a huge feathered cape and headset (looking like a cross between Sun-Ra and a native American chief),

Ah yes, the music. Suffice to say, fans unfamiliar with Steven’s most recent opus The Age Of Adz are likely to have been left bewildered. The dense, ambitious, bold album gets aired almost in its entirety, and it’s striking how the Detroit alchemist has – with the likes of ‘Vesuvius’, ‘Too Much’ and ‘Get Real Get Right’ – produced a suite of daring, experimental electronica that is chockfull of melodic, heart-rending hooks, all moored by his astonishingly pure voice (when he’s not slathering it in vocoder and auto-tune effects, that is). It’s magical stuff, which comes to a glorious conclusion with the half hour of heroically epic lunacy that is ‘Impossible Soul’. That’s before an encore that finally sees some older material aired – the haunting ‘John Wayne Gacy, Jr’ and a truly celebratory, joyous ‘Chicago’ that sends us home thinking that, yeah ok, so Queen Liz might have been in town – but Sufjan Stevens is the King.

And long may he reign? Neill Dougan

more import is the ferocious power that they unleash in a room many times smaller than those they have become accustomed to. This is the tightest, brightest, most vividly explosive performance AU has seen the band give in some time, and well worth missing the FA Cup final for.

After rattling through stunning versions of ‘Holing Out’, ‘The Wall’, ‘Suicide Policeman’ (complete with gorgeous, extended guitar break) and more, they finish with a crushingly heavy, almost stoner rock version of ‘Rubber’, leaving fingers in ears, chests battered with the bass, and a crowd exhilarated. A triumph.

Later, we hit the NME Radar showcase at Horatio’s, sited at the end of Brighton Pier. 2.54’s retrogressive, female-fronted fuzz-rock is forgettable but the other three artists are not. EMA stakes her claim as one of the frontwomen of her generation, particularly when she downs the guitar for the closing, droneladen ‘California’ and her latent Karen O tendencies come to the fore, while Braids impress with their hypnotic, rolling grooves underpinning Raphaelle Standell-Preston’s banshee wail. Best of all, though, is arch-revivalists Yuck. Derivative they may be, but they have The Tunes, and they come thick and fast.

It’s the home stretch, and while a walk along the seafront to Concorde 2 is a welcome comedown, the respite doesn’t last long. The horrendously named producer D/R/U/G/S is soon on stage with a set of excellent, party-starting tech house, before London noisemongers Factory Floor appear. And they turn out to suit the closing slot surprisingly well. Propelled by a powerhouse drummer and synthesiser arpeggios, they come on like Not Squares’ evil cousins, guitarist Nic Colk using bow and drumstick to paint blissful guitar noise over the rhythmic assault. And we dance.

A lot. A fine way to end any weekend. Chris Jones

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True Grit

Directors: Joel and Ethan Coen Starring: Jeff Bridges, Hailee Steinfeld, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin Cert: 15

DVD:

The received wisdom is that the Coen brothers, the notoriously tricky filmmaking team, follow each good film with an abysmal one. The good ones, however, knock it right out of the park, as evidence by this update of the seminal John Wayne western. It’s a beautiful piece of work from stetson to spurs, not only in Roger Deakins’ rich and warm cinematography, but also in the way the script transforms cowboy clichés into subtle, elegant storytelling. The plot may be worn saddle smooth, as teenager Mattie Ross hunts the no-good outlaw who shot her Pa in cold blood, but these slim pickings become a rites of passage tale which, like a less maudlin Unforgiven, has a great deal to say about integrity, revenge and the repercussions of violence. As ever, Jeff Bridges owns as Rooster, the disgraced marshal realising that this is indeed no country for old men, but his acting chops are more than matched by newcomer Hailee Steinfeld, who imbues Mattie with pluck and a sassy mouth, and Matt Damon, gleefully playing against type as cowardly, preening ranger LaBoeuf. Received wisdom be damned, True Grit is the best film of the year so far. Ross Thompson

CONSOLE YOURSELF! June’s gaming releases rounded up Regrettably, most offerings this month, aside from the exceptional crime thriller L.A. Noire (Rockstar, Multi), weren’t much to write home about. Pick of a rather meagre crop was the first playable taster of Gears Of War 3 (Epic, Xbox 360). Those who were fortunate enough to blag an invite to the beta demo were delighted, for want of a more macho term, to discover that the Locust and Lambent smushing action is as aggressive as ever. The weapons (flaming sawed-offs, chainsaws, bayonets and all things that go boom) feel chunky and powerful, the arenas, thankfully much less brown than before, are balanced to allow for cover shooting and open firefights and the violence has been cranked up significantly. In Pokémon you don’t get to tear off a felled enemy’s limbs and club him to death with them.

Hoping to steal the shooter crown is Brink (Splash Damage, Multi), whose distinctive art style marks it out from the generic war-based frag-fests out there.

The intro, a beautifully rendered piece of graphical origami, reveals that future generations will duke it out on The Ark, a floating city where humanity’s last vestiges reside. This dilapidated metropolis is an interesting venue for objective-driven multiplayer smackdowns but the class-based structure and

BRINK cartoonish visual style is more reminiscent of Team Fortress than Modern Warfare. The missions are a nice foil to standard gun and run tactics and the free-running elements are a welcome addition. At times, the melee of ideas does not quite gel. Brink might not satisfy its own ambitions but at least it tries to do something different.

A change of pace is provided by DiRT 3 (Codemasters, Multi), a thrilling rally game which may lack Forza depth of stats but packs quite a punch when raking through snow, dust and dirt terrains in a varied roster of terrifically fast cars. The sense of speed and momentum is exhilarating and the fear of writing off your vehicle is lessened by the ability to

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rewind time and take that pesky corner again.

Gamers itching to return to the Mojave Wasteland will go mad for Honest Hearts (Bethesda, Multi) the first of three planned DLC packs for Fallout: New Vegas.

Fans will be in hog heaven with the raised level cap, new locations and perks, along with an explanation of what really happened to the legendary ‘Burned Man’ alluded to in the main storyline.

Most time this month has been spent playing Smack That Gugl! (Simple Is Beautiful, iPhone), a currently free Whack-A-Mole app which replaces moles with yipping Plasticine blobs. It’s hilarious and fiendishly addictive. Ross Thompson

FLASHBACK The Last Neighbourhood The assassination of Denver talk radio host Alan Berg, June 18, 1984

27 YEARS AGO Illustration by Shauna McGowan

Alan Berg said that talk radio was like Russian roulette: “When you push that button, you never know what will happen.” For over a decade, the Jewish radio host’s progressive views and abrasive on-air persona pushed racist and bigoted callers to breaking point.

Ironically, Berg’s murder would be the catalyst for bringing down a white supremacist movement threatening to change the voice of America forever.

the aim of establishing an ‘Aryan homeland’ in the Northwest. However, The Order hadn’t banked on the tenacity of a white-bearded talk show host, working 650 miles away at the Denver radio station, 850 KOA.

In the late 1970s, a revolutionary storm was brewing in the Northwestern United States with an explicitly racist book entitled The Turner Diaries being widely distributed among the farright. The novel depicts a bloody revolution leading to an overthrown government and a race war ending in the extermination of all Jews and non-whites.

In 1979, the local head of the Klu Klux Klan, Fred Wilkins, burst into the on-air studio and told Berg to prepare to die. Berg told his radio audience that Wilkins had a gun pointed at him. When later arrested, the Klan member claimed Berg had just said that to increase his ratings. If Berg was rattled, he didn’t show it.

Among those inspired by the anti-Semitic writing was an Idaho supremacist group known as The Order. For a short period in the 1980s, this Aryan Nations offshoot would launch a crimewave including robbery, counterfeiting and murder, with

Alan Berg was the ‘man you loved to hate’, managing to provoke and fascinate in equal measure; he insulted callers, cutting them off as he spoke irreverently on topics such as sex, racism and religion. With the host regularly sparring on-air with neo-Nazis, it wasn’t long before Berg was face-to-face with those who loathed what he stood for.

Five years on, Berg was beginning to gain real recognition. KOA were sending him to report on the Democratic National Convention in California and he featured in a CBS television special; the national spotlight was calling, but just not in the way anyone could have imagined.

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On the evening of June 18, 1984, just after dropping off his ex-wife to meet friends, Berg arrived at his suburban townhouse alone. Stepping out from his black Volkswagen, four members of The Order approached and sprayed the car with bullets from a semi-automatic weapon. A few hours later, Berg’s body was found in the driveway, lying in a pool of blood. His ex-wife Judith would later recall the topic of their last discussion, the subject of the next day’s programme: gun control.

On July 19, 1984, The Order carried out an armoured car robbery on California’s Highway 101, making off with $3.5m. They would have got away clean, but for a gun dropped in the commotion. FBI traced the weapon to the home of one of The Order’s members where they also found a semi-automatic Ingram MAC-10. The Order simply couldn’t resist holding on to the gun that started the revolution.

Members were effectively given life sentences – not for the murder of Alan Berg, but for violating his civil rights. The Order was crushed, but the issues remain. Berg called his show ‘the last neighbourhood’, the only place in a mechanised society left where people could find someone to listen. No one could argue with that today; that would anger him the most. Eddie Mullan

CLASSIC MOVIE Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) becoming involved with the American comedy institution, National Lampoon magazine. His short story ‘Vacation ‘58’ served as the inspiration for the Chevy Chase vehicle National Lampoon’s Vacation, and before long, he found himself in the director’s chair for his own movies.

By 1986, Hughes was a hot property, and the time was right to unleash what became his most enduring creation: Ferris Bueller, the archetypical high-school smart-ass who is impossible to dislike.

After ingeniously faking sick, Ferris decides to live the dream that every single kid ever has had: to squeeze the most forbidden fun out of one day.

Enlisting the help of his depressed friend Cameron and his girlfriend Sloane, they hi-jack Cameron’s father’s expensive Ferrari and take off for the city.

The beauty of the film comes from Hughes’ ability to translate every latent desire his audience has ever had and stick it on the screen. Teachers are defied, minor laws are broken, art is pondered, expensive food is eaten, and a parade is gate-crashed, with Ferris appearing on top of a float, singing ‘Twist And Shout’ to a crowd of rapt onlookers. All the while, our rebellious heroes are pursued by a relentless teacher who needs to quell the admiration for they young tearaway that is spreading through his school. Of course, he gets defeated, and our heroes learn something about themselves along the way, blah, blah, blah.

Remember that smart-alecky kid in school? The one with all the wise-cracks who you sort of wanted to hate, but couldn’t ‘cause he was so cool? Well, back in 1986 John Hughes put that kid in a movie and made cinema history. As he celebrates his 25th birthday, AU salutes Ferris Bueller, and ponders the majesty of a perfectly spent day off school.

Movies and teenagers have a complicated history, with Hollywood perpetually churning out films for

teenagers, supposedly about teenagers. However, after years of continually missing the mark, the ‘teen’ movie had fallen out of favour by the early Eighties, Hollywood’s attempts to pick up on teen slang and fashions frequently falling hilariously flat. Part of the problem lay in cinema’s inability to move with the times, instead having to perpetually reflect what was happening in youth culture, but the bigger issue was that of scriptwriters just not understanding teenagers on a fundamental level.

Enter a young writer called John Hughes, with an ear for dialogue and a head full of ideas. Hughes had started as a copy writer for advertising firms, before

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Despite this cautious attempt at moralising, Hughes holds off from a full-blown sermon, leaving it up to the viewer to fill in the blanks. Ferris Bueller could have been one of the most hatefully irritating characters ever to make it to the silver screen, a teeth-grindingly perky rich-kid who always manages to get his own way, with the rest of us struggling to get by on a day-to-day basis. However, Matthew Broderick invests the character with a likeable ‘everyman’ charm that manages to get us onside right from the beginning, whilst Hughes allows the character to break the conventions of cinema, doing fantastical things, and conversing directly with the audience. We can’t hate Ferris, because no-matter how different his life is to ours, he is us, the manifestation of everything we ever wanted to be.

Throw in a kick-ass Eighties soundtrack, and you’ve got one of the definitive movies of the decade. So, if you’ve ever wanted to throw off the shackles that bind you, and just get out there and live, listen to the voice in your ear. It’s the voice of Ferris Bueller, and he’s telling you, “OH YEAH!” Steven Rainey

ROCKSTAR GAMES Rockstar Games have spent two riotous decades behaving like, well, rock stars: joyriding cars, selling crank, flipping off cops, duffing up gangsters and goosing women. These antics may only take place in the virtual world but their creation has brought the company criticism and acclaim in equal measures.

Lionised for designing expansive, bustling environments yet lambasted for their aloof attitude to violence, Rockstar deliberately walk a fine line between entertainment and amorality. For many gamers that’s half the appeal...

Words by Ross Thompson Illustration by Mark Reihill

Lemmings (1991) Developed by DMA Design, the Scottish development house later acquired by Rockstar after a protracted, messy series of industry buyouts, this tremendously successful puzzler was based on the slimmest of conceits. The player must guide a tribe of the titular, inexplicably greenhaired and bipedal rodents to safety without them succumbing to booby traps, ravines or lava pools.

However, like Tetris or Angry Birds, Lemmings is so addictive it should by rights be illegal. The many levels, all generic caverns and tundra, are navigated by making the creatures dig, climb and explode like mini-nukes to clear a path. Like Chess or Tower Defence the trick is how to decide when to sacrifice and when to save your brood. This distant cousin of Sega’s arcade classic Flicky became an unprecedented hit, retaining a quintessentially British sense of humour whilst transforming the home-grown company to industry contenders

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overnight. Lemmings has since spawned countless sequels, ports, spin-offs and rip-offs but none match the delight of the original.

Notable Because: The guys responsible for the franchise, mutual friends who met at amateur computer clubs and tech courses in Dundee, went on to produce the equally vaunted Crackdown.

La Triviata: Contrary to urban legend, lemmings do not harbour suicidal tendencies. That misconception is largely due to the Walt Disney documentary White Wilderness (1954), for which scenes of mass cliff-jumping were faked.

Grand Theft Auto (1997) The eureka moment which birthed Rockstar’s most famous release was similarly low-key.

Dave Jones, founder of DMA and subsequently the ill-fated Realtime Worlds, was intrigued by the concept of “an

over-the-top police chase game, as you could simulate a helicopter type view and hopefully create a living, breathing city.” Thirty months later that spark of an idea, originally saddled with the naff soubriquet Race-n-Chase, became the most contentious release in videogame history. GTA kept the top down, parallax scrolling visuals but was bolstered by “sandbox” gameplay, where a bounty of missions could be played in any order. More fun was to be had running amok in Vice City: boosting ambulances and mowing down Hare Krishna drones, at which point the text “Gouranga!” would light up the screen. This open world approach, which has since informed each of Rockstar’s keynote titles, was revolutionary at the time but many were left cold by the game’s acts of supposed moral turpitude. Yes, all the shooting, arson and maiming was offered up as humorous, cartoon acts of meaningless violence but GTA was lumped in with divisive fare like that year’s Carmageddon and Postal in seething tabloid articles about the growing threat to the nation’s children. The series may have expanded in tandem with each generation of consoles, leading to the vast, technologically impressive fourth outing in 2008, but the black dog of controversy has continued to nip at its heels, inviting accusations, valid or otherwise, of inciting everything from Bangkok teen murders, car torchings in France and stabbings in Croydon. Rivalling Doom (1993) as the most arcane release of all time, GTA will forever be associated with carnage and bloodshed on both sides of the looking glass.

Notable Because: GTA did wonders for the British videogame industry, proving that we have the talent and mettle to compete with Sega, Nintendo, Capcom et al. You can download the first two games for free from www.rockstargames.com.

La Triviata: Last year Daily Star hack Jerry Lawton fabricated a story claiming that Rockstar was working on Grand Theft Auto Rothbury, based on the final days of Raoul Moat.

Manhunt (2003) Proponents of Rockstar’s uncompromising style may have been able to defend GTA for its black humour and probing of moral boundaries but were on much shakier ethical ground with this brutal mix of stealthbased gameplay and snuff movie imagery. Ex-con James Earl Cash, hillbilly of name and temperament, must make his way through the foul underbelly of a city whilst offing rival gang members in an assortment of unpleasant ways. Killings on the menu involve garrottings, beatings, shootings and crowbar cuddles. So far, so run of the videogame mill but where Manhunt set hackles flaring was the way in which it rewarded the grislier murders with more points. Carcer

City is blanketed with surveillance cameras, and instead of avoiding these à la Splinter Cell or Metal Gear Solid, you must perform ‘executions’ in full view for the pleasure of Starkweather, the unseen ‘director’ who comments upon your efforts. You can practically hear his drool slopping against the microphone. Rockstar North, the rebranded DMA, knew they were prodding a raw nerve but continued to prod it even harder. Manhunt may have pushed gamers far beyond their comfort zones but the repetitive nature of sneaking and killing quickly grew old and eventually became deadening. As with Sega’s Condemned (2005), being complicit in so seedy a subculture left a fairly unpleasant mental aftertaste.

Notable Because: The sequel ramped up this sense of collusion even further and was scheduled for release on Nintendo’s motion-controlled Wii, but was met with so much hostility and negative press that it finally limped to its underwhelming, significantly abridged release. Not the studio’s highpoint. For once the tabloids might actually have been right.

La Triviata: Starkweather was voiced by Brian Cox, the classically trained actor not the silken-haired, wispy-voiced physicist.

Red Dead Redemption (2010) For this sequel of sorts to Red Dead Revolver (2004), Rockstar wisely stopped courting the empty bombast of negative hype, choosing instead to place more stock in their real talent: fully immersing the player in an interactive, believable world. This time we’re in the wild, wild west, where all the genre’s milkdrinking, gun-slinging clichés are present and correct. It makes for a wonderful and, crucially after the bleak tone of Manhunt, fun way to spend a good few hours. In terms of content Red Dead Redemption is fantastic value for money: the innumerable quests, side-quests and sideside-quests are enjoyably tongue-in-cheek takes on rustling steer, fighting injuns and tying purty females to train tracks. However, the real joy is to be found riding into the wilderness, perching on a rocky crag and watching the sunset. The level detail in gold rush towns, bandit settlements and dustbowls is stunning: even the animation and physics of tumbleweed pirouetting through the dirt is spot on. What truly entertains here is the sense that you are absorbed into a world entirely alien to your own. That and the fact that all wee boys love to play Cowboys and Indians.

Notable Because: If you had to pin it down to one it would be the expansion pack Undead Nightmare, which fills the Old West with zombies and Horses of the Apocalypse.

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La Triviata: Part of the marketing campaign for Red Dead involved a short film by John Hillcoat, director of The Road (2010).

L.A. Noire (2011) This riveting detective procedural was seven years in development but every day was worth it.

The fruits of that hard labour is a deftly plotted homage to the works of James Ellroy, Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler, where the back alleys, bars and cop shops of period Los Angeles are rendered in exquisite detail, and are populated by the requisite molls, wiseguys, spooks, finks and schmoes. Your given character Cole Phelps will meet them all as he works his way through traffic, homicide, vice and arson in a mature narrative which you rarely see in this medium. At first those who are fond of dry-gulching flatfoots and dropping lowlife goombas might find the pace a mite too leisurely. There are car chases and shootouts but more emphasis is placed on harvesting crime scenes for clues and interrogating suspects. The results are intelligent, wholly engrossing and point towards a more judicious direction for Rockstar.

Notable Because: There are so many things to recommend but the facial animation, achieved through MotionScan capture technology, is uncannily lifelike, a stark contrast to the melted cheese fizzogs prevalent in other games.

La Triviata: Telly fans should keep their eyes peeled for the voices and likenesses of multiple actors from Mad Men, Fringe and Heroes. Their presence should indicate the level of ambition and scope on display here.

Rockstar Games HQ may be homed in New York City but the British producers who founded it have carved out an identity in a market dominated by American and Japanese studios. In the past 20 years it has accumulated its fair share of press hullabaloo, most of it justified, but that has barely hampered sales in the millions and critical bouquets. After the dizzy heights scaled by L.A. Noire, one can only wonder where they will go next.

...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead The Limelight, Belfast

Peter & Phil

Sean & Ella

Trail Of Dead’s seventh studio album Tao Of The Dead is their best for several years, and with a brand new drummer and bass player on board, the core members of Conrad Keely and Jason Reece look utterly invigorated. Ballsily opening with the 16minute ‘Tao of the Dead Part II: Strange News From Another Planet’, the quartet rip through tracks from the new album before Reece swaps guitar for drums and we are treated to highlights from the band’s back catalogue, including a few tracks from the immortal Source Tags And Codes. It’s a drink-fuelled, sweaty, raucous night but for such an apparently po-faced band, it’s also a hell of a lot of fun.

Words by Chris Jones Photos by Will Neill

Andy & James

Dave & Suzie

Patrick, Joe & Catherine

Mairead & Gregory

Chris & Charlotte

Sara & Stevie

Saoirse & Phil

Stacey, Dez & Phillip

The crowd

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Mojo Fury’s album launch Spring & Airbrake, Belfast

Cathy & Carys

Whilst Mojo Fury’s album launch has been a long time coming, these songs are not new to many in the audience. The Lisburn band have long been local favourites, and despite waxing and waning fortunes, they’ve managed to outlast many of their contemporaries, and are still around to deliver the goods. Opening with ‘The Mann’, Mojo managed to fuse an anguished Kurt Cobain-esque howl to something approaching the theatricality of Queen, with piano flourishes and huge riffs offsetting all the darkness. Mojo Fury play a LONG set, and so a little pruning and fine tuning might help things, but it’s only a matter of time before they have the chops and material to pull of a longer set, and we are all going to benefit when they do.

Words by Steven Rainey Photos by Will Neill

Michael & Jess

Tanya & Aimee

Zarah & Dave

Chesmey, Colum & Odhran

Tony, Gerry & Simon

Aaron & Robert

Paul, Andrew & Alan

Mia & Andy

Michelle & Kevin

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Mark, Lianne, Rava & Evelin

THE LAST WORD With: Villagers

When was the last time you bought a band t-shirt at a gig?

James Byrne (drums): I saw Japandroids play as an opening act to 20 people and was so bowled over by how good they were I bought two T-shirts. I’ve been a convert ever since.

When was the last time one of your heroes disappointed you?

James: I was about to introduce myself to my favourite drummer from my favourite band at a festival last year, before I witnessed him not washing his hands after using the ‘restroom’.

I still should’ve said hello to him though.

What was the last meal you had?

Conor O’Brien (vocals, acoustic guitar): Vegetarian sushi. I’m very cultured.

What was the last piece of good advice you were given?

Conor: ‘Relax’.

When was the last time you cried?

Conor: About two weeks ago.

Tommy McLaughlin (guitar): About two weeks ago when Cormac nearly broke my leg playing football.

I think that might have been what Conor was crying about too. Maybe not…

Cormac Curran (keys): The last time I shared a room with James

What was the last injury you sustained?

Cormac: In Paris, after Conor jumped onto my back and we crumpled to the street. Then some local superstars tried to rob my wallet under the guise of helping me up.

When was the last time you did something you regret?

James: A slide tackle on astroturf in shorts, big mistake!

Danny: Too many to mention, costumes have been involved.

James: Worked in same off-licence for 13 years, I loved every second.

When was the last time you time you had a fistfight?

Danny Snow (bass): James was nearly in one with Cormac’s muggers in Paris, but we’re generally very placid.

What was the last good record you bought?

Conor: Miss America by Mary Margaret O’Hara. It’s incredible.

If the world was about to end, what would your last words be?

Tommy: “At least I don’t have to live with James in a Travelodge anymore”

What was the last thing you Googled?

Conor: “Bertrand Russell”. I’m very cultured.

Villagers support Fleet Foxes at the Open House Festival, Belfast on Saturday, June 25. www.wearevillagers.com

What was the last bad job you had?

When was the last time you were scared?

FAMOUS LAST WORDS “Don’t worry, they usually don’t swim backwards.”

Said by the ‘Crocodile Hunter’ Steve Irwin (22 February 1962 – 4 September 2006) when he was examining a stingray in the Great Barrier Reef. It did, however, swim backwards and the tail pierced his chest.

He died later of blood loss.

“Die, my dear? Why, that’s the last thing I’ll do!”

Groucho Marx (October 2, 1890 – August 19, 1977).

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THIS ISSUE WAS POWERED BY Busting balls, sickening Primavera tweets, Brighton, partying, a writing renaissance, skating, straight flushes, house-hunting, a cheeky nine holes, epic comebacks, footballing humiliation.

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