February 2015

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE February 2015 • Estd. 1892 • Vol. 122 #11 • Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com Ithaca High School, 1401 N. Cayuga St, Ithaca, NY 14850 • FREE

Remembering Trumble Appointed Kris Jan Long, Principal 1973 – 2015

By KALIL HENDEL

By CONOR COUTTS IMAGE provided

IHS’s own Kris Jan Long passed away, surrounded by friends and family, in the evening hours of January 1, 2015 at a skilled nursing facility.

Kris had worked for over ten years in ICSD, first as a food service helper at IHS, then as a roving custodian.

Kris Jan Long, 1973 – 2015 Kris worked at all 14 schools in ICSD doing a range of caretaking duties and filling in for various custodians.

When there was no roving to be done, she was stationed at IHS as a fourth hand on the first shift, and often patrolled the cafeteria. This is where so many students found comfort in Kris’s larger-thanlife character; frequently joking and bonding with students in the cafeteria and teaching students responsibility through her own experiences was a passion of hers. “I am here for you kids,” Kris often said.

Kris displayed her warmth and love of kids not only as a custodian at ICSD, but also as a mother at home. Throughout her life, she found much joy in caring for many kids. Kris could often be found enjoying the outdoors; maintaining a close relationship with nature was one cornerstone of her life’s philosophy.

Kris will be remembered by her large family and her many friends in and outside of ICSD. The IHS community mourns her death and will never forget her sense of humor, dedication to her job, and truly caring personality. ∎

Mr. Jason Trumble is now officially IHS’s new principal.

On Wednesday, January 21, IHS found itself a new leader—Jason Trumble was granted tenure to remain as principal of IHS. Prior to the sudden departure of Principal Jarett Powers, Trumble was Chief Secondary Officer, an administrative position at the district. With 23 years of experience in education and having been principal of Boynton Middle School, Trumble was originally asked to hold down the fort while a national principal search for a permanent Powers replacement was conducted. The administration never could have guessed that the man for the job had been right under their noses the whole time.

Note: To commemorate this occasion, a short-form screenplay has been provided on page 16; our best guess as to how Trumble’s appointment may have transpired. ∎

2

February 2015

Opinion

Editorial

The Real Lesson from Charlie Hebdo In the aftermath of the Charlie Hebdo shooting, we at the Tattler were shocked and horrified. It was just a week into the new year, and after the tragedies that defined 2014, such sudden and senseless violence was difficult to comprehend. The story continued to grow in the days following the shooting as people around the world reacted in their own ways. At times, it seemed like the narrative was never going to leave behind the grief and cynicism that overwhelmed us in those first few days. After all, what good could possibly come from the killing of 17 people?

The crisis began when two gunmen fired on the offices of French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo on January 7. Twelve of the staff were killed, in addition to policeman Ahmed Merabet. The next day, a third gunman, linked to the murder of a policewoman days before, seized a kosher supermarket. In the hostage crisis that ensued, four innocents died. The tragedy exposed Charlie Hebdo, a magazine with a normal circulation of 60,000, to international scrutiny as never before. Millions tweeted #jesuischarlie—I am Charlie—in support of a magazine whose name they had likely never heard previously. As 1.6 million people took to the streets of Paris to call for unity and stand arm in arm with world leaders in the Marche Républicaine, it was clear that the best message that could be taken in those early days from the disaster was one of the importance of free speech.

But important lessons also came from our reaction to the tragedy. Circulation of the comics that provoked the attack led many people, including senior Slate correspondent Jordan Weissmann, to question the wisdom of issuing blanket defenses of Charlie Hebdo’s material in the name of free speech.

Some of the comics are extremely offensive, including one that was printed when France passed a law prohibiting Muslim women from wearing niqabs and burqas in public, depicting a naked woman with a burqa sticking out of her rear. The caption reads, “Yes to burqas The Tattler is the student-run newspaper of . . . on the inside!”

Ithaca High School. It was founded These kinds of crude, tasteless dein 1892 and is published monthly. pictions abound in Charlie Hebdo.

Sometimes they’ll print a comic that As an open forum, the Tattler invites does what satire is meant to do (that opinion piece submissions and letters to the editor from all community members. Drop is, point out and inspire amendment off submissions in E25 or email them to: of a societal failing), such as a depiceditor@ihsTattler.com tion they ran of Muhammad about to be executed by ISIS, which pointed The Tattler reserves the right to edit out how far Muslim extremists have all submissions. Submissions do not strayed from the central messages of necessarily reflect the views of editorial staff.

Islam. Mostly, though, what they print is ostensibly juvenile, underdeveloped, and mildly disgusting—and it’s meant to be.

Charlie Hebdo luxuriates in a type of humor we suspect many Americans do not find funny, due to comparatively heightened sensitivities to race and religion. They often go for the easy joke by depicting Middle Easterners as big-nosed brown men with Continued on Page 3.

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

Tattler Staff 2014 – 2015 Editor-in-Chief

Owen Zhang ’15 editor@ihsTattler.com

News Editor

Kalil Hendel ’15 news@ihsTattler.com

Opinion Editor

Olivia Salomon ’15 opinion@ihsTattler.com

Features Editor

Sophia Shi ’15 features@ihsTattler.com

Arts and Entertainment Editor

Pearse Anderson ’16 arts@ihsTattler.com

Sports Editor

Nick Bogel-Burroughs ’15 sports@ihsTattler.com

Penultimate and Back Page Editor

Lindsey Yuan ’15 backpage@ihsTattler.com

Centerspread Editor

Conor Coutts ’15 centerspread@ihsTattler.com

Copy Editor

Daniel Xu ’17 copy@ihsTattler.com

Photography Editors

Bridget Fetsko ’16 John Yoon ’16 photo@ihsTattler.com

Layout Editor

James Yoon ’17 layout@ihsTattler.com

Business Manager

Andrew Stover ’17 business@ihsTattler.com

Advertising Manager

Liz Rosen ’16 ads@ihsTattler.com

Webmaster

Gayathri Ganesan ’15 web@ihsTattler.com

Distribution Managers

Carrie D’Aprix ’15 Stephen Stover ’15 distribution@ihsTattler.com

Faculty Advisor

Deborah Lynn advisor@ihsTattler.com

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

Opinion

February 2015

3

The Real Lesson from Charlie Hebdo Continued from Page 2.

IMAGE by lucille clerc

guns and funny hats, or by depicting the Pope in various sexual positions or situations. These things aren’t appealing for a variety of reasons, not least of which is that if you hold any religion be offended by something blasphemous that Charlie Hebdo has printed.

In the wake of the attack, a lot of focus has been given to the cartoons depicting Muslims, but Charlie Hebdo has actually dished it out fairly equally— although not proportionally—when it comes to attacking both institutions and established religions.

The magazine has been sued dozens of times over the last 45 years by almost every group imaginable. Yet, even the comics that inspired the deadly attack against the magazine have not resulted in any legal action against or regret from Charlie Hebdo, only reiterations of their right to free speech. Ironically, the French comedian Dieudonné was arrested just three days after the Marche Républicaine on charges of “incitement of terrorism” for posting support for the gunmen and anti-Semitic messages on Facebook.

The dissonance between France’s reactions to these two incidents of comedians speaking their minds is inexplicable without the background knowledge that in France, satire and the right to offend are fiercely protected.

Liberal free-speech laws are balanced only by anti-defamation laws, and in cases such as that of Charlie Hebdo, it can be difficult to prove publications guilty of defamation, especially when French law does not consider blasphemy to be offensive and, in fact, protects it as part of France’s treasured secular values. In essence, French law allows blasphemy and ridiculing of religious institutions, but not the incitement of hatred or terrorism toward followers of those religions, which is what led to Dieudonné’s arrest.

Although its right to blasphemy is legally permissible, Charlie Hebdo as a publication should recognize its responsibility not to contribute to the further marginalization of French Muslims, many of whom come from

poor regions of North Africa and face job discrimination as well as other hardships. Laws in France ban wearing burqas and veils in public places, and in more than one hundred cases, Muslim girls have been expelled from school for wearing such headcoverings. These policies clearly target Muslim women and demonstrate a belief that France’s secularism is more important than her citizens’ freedom of expression.

When Charlie Hebdo prints cartoons like the aforementioned burqa example, it supports the alienation of an already marginalized population in a way that running a cartoon that makes fun of the Pope having sex does not. In France, just 8 percent of the population is Muslim. Eighty-eight percent is Roman Catholic. Although Charlie Hebdo claims it makes fun of all religions equally, there is a difference between poking fun at the vast majority and belittling a minority.

The fact remains that when the thirdlargest party in France has based its politics on xenophobia and aggression toward Muslim immigrants disguised

as the protection of secular French values, it’s not funny, clever, or avantgarde to use racist imagery and depictions.

To defend civil liberties is to defend Charlie Hebdo’s right to print and draw and write whatever they want. But we must recognize when they are simply indulging laziness and hatred by using racist imagery or making the easy joke about minorities. As members of the public, we have a responsibility to recognize and condemn these abuses.

Free speech is more than just mockery and bile. The immediate lesson from the tragedy, one of the importance of free speech, is a great one to take from the ruins of the Charlie Hebdo offices.

But the lessons we can learn from our own reactions to the tragedy, such as the necessity of context, the danger of superimposing our own cultural ideals and sensitivities on others, and the gravity of identifying and refusing to accept the perpetuation of racist and harmful ideas, are equally important. ∎

4

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

February 2015

NEWS Recycling Rumors at IHS Quelled

By PEARSE ANDERSON

“Isn’t the recycling at the high school, like, bullshit?” Brittney Flaten ’16 asks me.

“Where did you hear that from?”

“Various sources. Part of me wants to believe it’s not true. . . .” She pauses. “But it probably is.”

Almost every student I talked to during my research had the same opinion as Brittney. Most believed that even if the school claimed to recycle, everything in the recycling bins was put into the same dump as the trash. “After the composting thing [IHS supposedly not composting], my expectations are pretty low for sustainability at IHS,” Liz Rosen ’16 said.

Teachers had little insight into the issue. Mark Nelson, AP Environmental Science teacher, shed light on what happens to the recycling bins at IHS. “It used to be that the BOCES people would pick it all up,” he said, “but like all things, the programs change over time, so I don’t actually know how much of it is going to the recycling center at this point.”

Talking with Student Council yielded only rumors. In fact, the vast majority of people I interviewed had no legitimate Continued on Page 7.

Ask the Admins: Superintendent Luvelle Brown (Part 2)

By KALIL HENDEL

Kalil Hendel ’15: So, the results of the annual ICSD Goals and Priorities Survey—now in its second year—have been much discussed. What prompted the decision to begin sending out that survey?

Luvelle Brown: We have worked with the Board of Education and the community for a year [since the previous survey] to establish a vision and mission. The next step is to assign some metrics that help you figure out if you’re meeting your vision and mission. The metrics that have been established are in line with the Board of Education’s goals and priorities, so one way to establish whether or not you’re meeting those metrics is to survey folks’ perception of those things. For example, regarding communication, we ask questions like, “How well is the district engaging in two-way communication?” We give folks a chance to agree strongly or disagree strongly, and there are a number of questions. Now, in year two, we’ve had quite a few more folks take the survey. We hope to continue growing that number, and we hope that our data continues to improve as well.

KH: For most teachers, technology integration so far has been a question of, “How can we work the tech into our existing lesson plans and our existing units?” What are your hopes for the future and how would you like to see technology change the format of the classroom and the school day?

LB: I’m hoping that we get to a place very soon where we don’t refer to things as “technology”—I think that’s where we’ve been for the last four years. In this district, we’ve worked hard to continuously improve as well as learn what it takes to engage, educate, and empower young people.

Now we have these tools that are going to help us and assist us with that, but it’s not as if they’re driving what’s happening in the classrooms.

When we effectively and efficiently use these technological tools that are at our disposal with a deep understanding of teaching and learning (which we are continuously getting better at), it does change the dynamic. We’ve now shifted more to a 24/7 conversation; the education is much more personalized, much more easily differentiated for the classroom teacher. The role of the teacher is shifting some; they will be the “lead learners” along with other young people who are collaborating and problem-solving with them 24/7. I’m seeing that shift occurring already, and as technologies continue to improve and as we continue to improve as educators facilitating those conversations, I see it continuing to shift.

KH: A major part of the shift is the Chromebook initiative. How are you imagining that it will change what the classrooms look like and how learning will happen there?

LB: I’m going to be clear—I don’t see the Chromebook or Google Apps for Education (which is the software we’re going to use) being the thing that’s going to change things for us. I see it as the tool that’s going to Continued on Page 6.

NEWS

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

February 2015

5

The Coming of Chromebooks

Community Hopes to Support IHS Student Who Lost Home to Fire

By TRISTAN ENGST IMAGE provided

IMAGE provided by ithaca voice

The aftermath at 222 Tareyton Drive.

Misfortune struck an IHS student’s family shortly before the new year. On the morning of December 29, Emery Lawhead ’15 was taking a shower when he was interrupted by a fire that soon consumed his house.

By the time Lawhead escaped his house via the basement door, the fire was “probably mostly just in the windows and the ceiling, maybe a foot into the house.”

Lawhead’s mother and sister, Meredith Lawhead ’14, were also in the house at the time, according to Emery. Fortunately, all occupants escaped the fire unharmed, though the singlestory residence at 222 Tareyton Drive, just east of DeWitt Middle School in Northeast Ithaca, was completely lost, according to reports by the Ithaca Voice.

Lawhead said that his family has since learned that the source of the fire was a malfunctioning electrical outlet in the breezeway.

He added that his family has received “clothes and other stuff” from community members, and has made temporary housing arrangements with a family friend.

“We’re living with a friend right now and we’ll probably end up buying that place,” he explained.

Since the incident, as part of a fund-raising campaign started by IHS associate principal Tokinma Killins, several IHS clubs—including the Tattler—have donated to the Lawhead family.

For more information, please contact Ms. Killins at tokinma.killins@icsd.k12.ny.us. ∎

Very soon, Chromebooks will begin replacing the other computers in the district.

If you haven’t heard, Chromebooks are coming to ICSD. At IHS, the plan is to furnish every student with a Chromebook sometime during the next school year. A Chromebook is just like any other laptop—except that it only runs the Google Chrome web browser. Essentially, anything that can be done within Chrome—email, research, writing—is possible. The model of Chromebook that ICSD selected was the Dell Chromebook 11 with an i3 processor, which has received generally good reviews from PC Magazine.

According to IHS principal Jason Trumble and ICSD’s Director of Technology Mr. Dominick Lisi, providing Chromebooks makes sense for two reasons: it establishes resource equity by ensuring that all students have a good computer for academia, and they are cheaper than other options.

The equity issue is simple. Computer access at home is becoming more and more important to education, so it makes sense to ensure that every student has a usable computer.

According to ICSD’s FAQ sheet, Chromebooks were considered as a solution after other districts had success adopting them. They’re cheap, and they can provide access to various academic websites such as Edmodo and Schoology, Google Docs for writing, and the Internet for research. According to Mr. Lisi, Chromebooks can be managed remotely, which (provided that a wi-fi problem doesn’t occur) would allow IT people to fix a problem on one without physically touching it. The district hopes that this feature will increase the efficiency of IT work.

Mr. Lisi doesn’t have a precise estimate as to how much money the district Continued on Page 6.

6

February 2015

Ask the Admins Continued from Page 4. enhance and accelerate the stuff I’m already seeing happening in our district. Without the Chromebook and the tools, I’m already seeing our teachers facilitate much more personalized approaches to learning.

I’m seeing young people collaborating and empowered in many different ways now. I’m seeing studentled conferences now where I wasn’t before. This Chromebook, which is more of a replacement, since we have some computers that are aging out, is not going to really transition us and shift us fundamentally. Nor will the software. I can see it accelerating us, though, as educators become more comfortable and students become more comfortable. But I want to be clear: this is not a Chromebook initiative; it’s a learning initiative. We’re giving more tools to support what’s already happening.

KH: A major concern in the district is that, present company excluded of course, there are fewer non-white role models for students to engage with than there should be. Growing up, were there many prominent black leaders you could look up to,

NEWS and how did their presence or absence affect you?

LB: Hmm. I didn’t have many black leaders other than my father and my mother, and I yearned to have more.

I had a few educators along the way, but far too few, and they had a powerful impact on me. So yes, there is a need because I myself experience this as a black leader in this community and this district when I walk into classrooms and young people respond to me because of what I look like. I see that every day, and I know there’s power in that. If I can be a part of increasing the number of folks of color and young people who can have that experience, I want to be a part of that. I say all that to say that many powerful educators and people who had a major influence in my life were not black, and we’re going to need that to continue taking place as well. So there are just great leaders, but I do recognize the power of having people of color in our buildings, and we need to do a better job of it every year.

KH: I’m sure you’ve gotten this question before a lot, being the only black male superintendent in New York, so I’m wondering if there’s any ma-

The Coming of Chromebooks Continued from Page 5. expects to save, but he maintains that it will be a lot. This is largely due to the high cost for setup and maintenance of Macs. Mr. Lisi explained that while a traditional MacBook would take three hours to set up, each Chromebook will only take 20 minutes. This is a notable difference, considering that the people setting up the computers are paid $50 to $100 an hour. The district plans to responsibly recycle the old computers.

Teachers have different feelings about the implementation of Chromebooks—and many aren’t sure how they would use the new technology in their classes. Ms. Schneider, an Algebra 2 teacher, said, “I probably won’t use [Chromebooks]. . . . I find it hard to believe they will enhance math instruction.” However, she is “open to seeing what they can do.” In the science department, chemistry teacher Mr. Tuori said that he “doesn’t believe that they will be used much in Honors Chemistry, but a bit more in AP Chemistry.” Ms. Mellander, an English teacher, says that her use of Chromebooks “will depend entirely upon the professional development and support that the school provides.”

Many questions remain, such as whether or not social media access will be allowed on the Chromebooks, what will happen if a computer is broken, and whether students will be allowed to keep their computers over summer vacation. The district is still working these details out. ∎

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

jor experience in your life or in your childhood that led you on this path to becoming such a role model?

LB: My dad worked 40 years driving a truck and making very little money. His work ethic, getting up every day and working as hard as he could to be the best at what he did, has influenced me. My mother was an educator for 44 years. I saw her struggle with little budget cuts, deal with tough young people every day, good administrators, bad administrators, parents. I saw her do that year in and year out, and it influenced me. I also saw the impact she had on other lives for 44 years, and I want to achieve that. I’m a public servant more than anything else, and I chose to be a public servant because I saw that in my household every day. I hope now that when people see me—a person with many options serving in this capacity—they see that in me and they are inspired to take my place, because I won’t be here forever.

Someone’s going to need to succeed me, black or white. I hope that I’m transcending this notion of being a role model for only folks of color and becoming a role model for all young people, because we are all in this thing together. ∎

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

NEWS

February 2015

7

IHS Recycling Continued from Page 4. source. Students and staff at IHS felt as though the recycling in the same containers as recycling, IHS utilizes two types efforts of our school were “useless” and “a betrayal of trust”, of bins: one for paper, and one for plastic. That being said, but what are IHS’s actual policies, and what can be done to few classrooms I visited actually have two bins, and few improve recycling efforts? people understand the distinction between them. AlexanStudents in Sara Shenk’s second-period government class der did confirm that custodians sort through the recycling recently worked on a project devoted to researching this bins, at the general receiving area if not in the rooms. He also problem and finding a solution. However, the various sourc- claimed that if any bottles are not recycled, it’s because they es the class talked to offered differing information. Jeff Hol- had been improperly mixed with either paper, compost, or comb, head custodian at IHS, told the class that no bottles at trash. The same holds true for compost. the high school are actually recycled, and that if compost or In terms of solutions, the government class made several recycling is contaminated with a certain amount of trash— proposals. Since the semester has since ended, the governabove 25 percent—it must be purged. ment class has handed the reins of the project to the IHS “Officially, there is no policy,” PatGreen Team, led by Nora Littell ’16. Of the surveyed rick Skawski ’15 told me at a students, 40 percent said that IHS Board meeting in December. needs more recycling and comLater in the meeting, the govpost bins. Indeed, the hallways, ernment class presented their courtyards, and quad are only findings to the Board. After dohome to trash bins; undering statistical research around standably, few students go out Cornell, the class found that of their way to find a recycling the average person creates or compost bin from these lofour pounds of trash per day, cations. At the facilities meeting, 75 percent of it recyclable. In Board members welcomed this idea a survey with students at IHS, and promised to bring it up at later disthey found that 71 percent of cussions. Another proposed and widely students felt that recycling was supported fix involved placing volunteers at important to them. Of those surrecycling and compost bins who would teach veyed, 74 percent claimed that they people disposing their trash which items they recycle often. Due to widespread rucould recycle or compost, a strategy that has been mors, many students, regardless of how largely successful at the middle schools in the disconcerned they were with sustainability, said trict. The government class presented some mock that they felt like it would be useless to sort their posters that could serve the same purpose. Both of trash, recycling, and compost if all of it went to the these solutions would only need to be implementsame place. ed for a short time, as students would eventually “Whether or not there’s recycling at IHS is one of become accustomed to the protocol. those classic urban legends,” biology teacher Nicole Overall, the custodians at IHS seem to be tryBenenati explained to me. “When they collect it, they ing to support recycling efforts, but the responsicollect it in the carboys. It’s the same equipment that bility overall falls on students. Take a minute to sort is used for garbage, so people see that and go, ‘Oh, they’re your trash, and know what can be recycled and composted. throwing it out,’ but it’s really the carboy that’s got all the re- Green Team is wildly undermanned, and those interested in cycling and they’re carting it around.” helping IHS should consider participating in the club, which I accompanied the government class to the facilities de- meets in H101 on Wednesdays. partment meeting in late January. The Board members there I asked Jeff Holcomb if he had anything to say to the were helpful in clearing up questions students had about re- school regarding recycling. cycling. One member, Sean Eversley Bradwell, explained that “If you’re not going to properly recycle, that’s fine, but there isn’t and probably will not be an official policy on re- don’t ruin it for everyone else,” he told me. “It makes everycycling. The district has already set rules regarding recycling one’s job harder.” that IHS must follow, and if IHS adopts an official policy, the Despite my research on this issue, there are still loose ends. district would have to revise its official policy to accommo- Some teachers claim that despite all this, the custodians who date IHS. Bradwell stressed that this does not mean there is frequent their rooms do not recycle. Others question the vano practice of recycling. lidity of Paul Alexander’s statements on IHS recycling and Paul Alexander, Director of Facilities and Operations, told sorting. The Tattler will continue evaluating these claims and the government class that the school generates revenue by provide updates as necessary. Until then and forever, please giving recyclable paper and cardboard to BOCES, so instead recycle. ∎ of having a single-stream recycling system, where plastic is

8

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

February 2015

opinion The Commons: Worth the Wait?

By JAMIE LOVETTE

If you’ve been to the Commons recently, you’ll have noticed that it is far from being finished. The renovation of the Commons has been a long, grueling process. Even though construction crews have spent two working seasons trying to complete the renovation, many final touches still need to be added before the Commons is completely open again to the public. These additional features, however, should be well worth the wait.

Construction on the Commons began in mid-May of 2013. The development continued without any major incidents for the entirety of the first building season.

The initial completion date of the project was set to July 31, 2014. As this date approached, however, it was clear that the Commons project still had significant flaws, and the workers were not going to make the deadline. The next deadline was pushed to November 21, 2014. Again, this date passed with work still unfinished. The current projected completion date has been set for the summer of this year.

Continued on Page 13.

The Writing on the desk

College Blues

By CARVER JORDAN

This article is dedicated to the seniors who are hopefully now recovering from the trying times of the college admissions process—if you have not yet heard back, stay strong.

If you’re like me, all the talk of college over the past year has probably pissed you off to at least some extent. Every time you spoke to a relative or met anyone new— someone who hadn’t already received a detailed copy of your life plan—they would ask you the quintessential question: “What schools are you applying to?” Each and every time, you would have to go through your list, counting on your fingers the colleges you had done some miniscule amount of research on, and listen to the meaningless responses. “Wow, that’s a good school!” or “My cousin went there!” or even just “Oh yeah, that’s a liberal arts college, right?” I say “miniscule research” because you can’t really make an informed decision about where to spend the next four years of your life without actually having spent an extended period of time there.

The amount of pressure that at least I felt during this whole process was, in a single word, astronomical. Beginning in my junior year, I had to narrow down hundreds of schools to my specifications, make a broad list of ones that met my needs, and eventually start convincing myself that I could actually get into any of them. Similar pressure is experienced throughout America by high-schoolers (and even some middle-schoolers who need to seriously get their priorities straight), which makes me wonder if our system is somewhat flawed. This makes me think about a conversation I overheard while taking a test in the teachers’ lounge today, where a student was talking about how she planned to attend college in Germany next year. The student and her teacher laughed about the differences between our educational system and Germany’s: “An easier application . . . no essay . . . no cost for tuition. . . .”

Having visited Germany for an exchange trip in tenth grade, I was well aware of the differences between the education system of Germany and that of the U.S., but having German superiority spelled out in front of me definitely made me cringe.

Thinking back on all of those tireless hours spent on my Common Application essay along with the $70 application fee, a sense of jealousy came upon me. (The drinking age being 16 in Germany came to mind at that point as well, but that’s besides the point.)

I’ve also been thinking a lot about tuition costs recently, and it struck me that, as a graduating senior continuing on to college, those costs have now become a reality. We are morphing into poor college students and will soon thereafter continue on to be poor college graduates. The average student at Syracuse University, which I will be attending next year, leaves their four-year program with $27,000 of student debt, which is still $6,000 short of what USA Today says the average debt for the Class of 2014 is. I still, however, have some difficulty imagining leaving college in four years owing $30,000—already more than the average price of a car.

Alas, when I get too overwhelmed with thoughts such as these, I take a step back and adjust my viewpoint. Despite the impending stress of college, I can still acknowledge just how sweet it is to be a second-semester senior. I’m currently still trying to decide whether or not my AP exams are even worth taking in the spring.

Unfortunately, those may not be optional. Many of my peers have begun slipping and taking their studies a bit less seriously, an ailment commonly known as senioritis. I’m not sure if I can accurately label myself this way, considering that my symptoms began burdening me freshman year. ∎

opinion

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

The BEST: Ithaca High School Class

By KALIL HENDEL

AP Psych! AP Physics! AP Art! AP Human Geo! Honors languages! AP Lang! With such a rich variety of options available, every student is able to find their place in the IHS ecosystem and discover that perfect class with a perfect fit for them. It’s a no-brainer that each one of us is a special snowflake with special needs, which can all be met by the kaleidoscope of options offered by the high school.

But that’s dead wrong.

Your needs mean nothing. I offer you my guarantee that

February 2015

9

if you’re not taking one special class in particular, your entire time here has been a waste. Never before in its 139 operating years has a course like this been offered at the school. It’s a tragedy and a marvel that so few people know about it, seeing as it’s sitting right there in the course registry. Yet somehow it’s passed over again and again for phony courses like “Calc” and “Lit”. What do those even mean? Nothing. They mean nothing and their light shines feeble and dim when held to the brilliance of one class that no one thinks to take.

Before I can dive into the delicious meat of the class, we of course must talk about the teacher, a paragon of intellect in the ICSD community. He’s the educator everyone knows, whose intellect is so thick it could be spread on toast, whose bold and radical teaching has garnered him hearty approbation and bitter vitriol in equal measure, whose class is revered but seldom experienced. It’s a mockery of the very pillars that IHS stands on that his unparallelled brain has been so overlooked. I can only hope that this article will serve as a balm to the terrible burn the school’s neglect has administered on so great a man.

Of course, with such a low sign-up rate, only the most engaged and brightest are attracted. I can attest that the environment within the classroom is unlike anything you’re likely to experience in your school career. The students perform such incredible feats of mental gymnastics and display such unrivaled creativity in their work that it’s obviously a class for only the elite of the elite. Those who are put off by the blank space in the course title where the word “AP” should be written are missing out on a transformative experience the likes of which can’t be found anywhere else in academia.

The contest for “best class” is non-competitive, since I believe it’s unfair to hold the rest of the course registry to the same ridiculously high standard. Through its combination of a world-class teacher, brilliant experimental curriculum, and students impassioned by education, the choice for best class is in a category of its own. ∎

write

Anyone is welcome to write for the Tattler!

Email editor@ihstattler.com

10

February 2015

opinion

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

A Volcanic Proposal

By LINCOLN BRENNAN IMAGE provided

Could this be the answer to all of our problems?

IHS excels in many regards: academically, we have few rivals in New York State, teachers and students alike are dedicated to learning, our athletic teams are unrivaled, and we are ever-improving in all fields (except football—we suck at that).

However, we are notably lacking in certain aspects. The school is gradually falling apart despite continual renewal efforts in a few respects: we lack an all-season common area for student fraternization and our student body is full of divisions; we are functionally bereft of an eco-friendly waste disposal system; and our classes— particularly in the scientific fields—lack real-life demonstrations and explorations.

The solution is simplicity in itself: with the installation of an active volcano in the currently under-utilized G-Courtyard, we would not only solve the above issues, but would open many possible doors for IHS’s future.

It has been witnessed throughout history that the threat of destruction brings people together, transcending bounds of language, ethnicity, and politics. By installing an unstable, live volcano in the heart of the school, students would naturally come together before the possibility of death. Unlike H-Courtyard, the volcano

would be open to all who wished to frequent the site, breaking down barriers of age and class, an oft-cited dividing factor.

This rejuvenation of school spirit in turn would create a ripple effect throughout the community, beginning with the youth and gradually spreading to all, fostering a greater sense of inclusion for residents of Ithaca.

In the undertaking of such a project, a great capital investment would be necessary, beginning with development and planning phases. However, with the assets of Cornell and possibilities of state and federal grants for such a revolutionary project, the cost could be easily subsidized and minimized. The involvement of Cornell faculty and students would introduce our students to new possibilities for academic excellence as well as provide outreach to the higher education community that flourishes in Ithaca. The construction itself would be a colossal project, providing employment for contractors, suppliers, laborers, and manufacturers in our community.

Furthermore, the initial cost would be greatly offset by the possible savings in energy bills and waste disposal issues. With the introduction of a clean, eco-friendly

incinerator, issues of recycling and compost being intermixed with garbage would be a thing of the past at IHS. Should we be able to tap the raw thermal energy, we could not only fulfill our own needs as a school, but begin to sell back to the power grid, creating a self-supplying cycle of profit.

Currently, we have precedents in realworld exploration of academic subjects; take, for instance, the popular AP Environmental Science class, which regularly forays into Cascadilla Creek to study the local ecosystem in the flesh. This activity clearly demonstrates the value of handson learning and immersion in field work.

Accordingly, the installation of a volcanic crater in such close proximity would provide almost endless learning opportunities in classes such as Earth Science and Natural Disasters, as well as possible physics applications in studying the nature of tremors, extremes of temperatures, and fluid dynamics. Moreover, volcanoes have also provided a muse for innumerable poets, writers, and painters in the past. Such a muse in our school could be immensely inspiring for both English and art classes.

The existing sculpture program could be Continued on Page 13.

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

opinion

February 2015

11

Choir: Something Magical

By EMMA ROACH

For many people, high school can be an environment outside of their comfort zone. Fortunately, I have found activities that make me feel truly content. The most important, influential, and joyful of these activities has been singing in choir.

I end every school day singing with some of the kindest and most intelligent people in our school. We work together to create something beautiful, and being a part of that brings me so much happiness. Singing is one of my qualities that I am confident about. I know that I’m not the best singer—and never will be—but I have so much passion for music that it doesn’t matter. All that matters to me is that I am encouraged to learn and contribute every day.

Some people do not take choir seriously as a class, believing it is an “easy A”. Music requires dedication and practice, so I treat choir like any other class, but I enjoy it ten times as much. I come on time every day, I practice outside of school, and I am willing to learn and improve as a singer.

Being in choir has given me opportunities I would never have had before. For example, this coming February, I will be traveling to Salt Lake City, Utah, to learn and perform with the ACDA National Choir. This choir is extremely hard to get into, and being accepted means that I can be considered among the best high-school choir singers in the country. Being accepted means so much to me, and I am grateful to my choir teacher for giving me this opportunity. I know it will be an amazing experience, and I hope it will change me both as a person and a singer.

I find so much meaning in choir, especially since I am learning something new ev-

Ms. Zaryski leads the IHS choir.

ery day. There is nothing quite like singing with a group of people to create something magical; it is something that everyone should experience in life. Being part of something so powerful has taught me to believe in myself and my ability to learn. I used to be scared of singing alone, but with the support of my choir and my teacher, I am no longer afraid. I believe that I can do wonderful things, and I want to be able to share that feeling with others. I encourage everyone to join choir—it is completely life-changing.

I hope to continue to be part of many choirs and the music community throughout my entire life, because they have changed me so much already. I want to continue to be in an environment that makes me happy and content with who I am and where I am in my life. I know I am not alone in this. Music is a powerful thing and I will not give it up. I will hold onto the special experiences my choir has given me, I will continue to grow, and one day, I will share my own unique song with the world without fear or hesitation. ∎

12

February 2015

opinion

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

The Greatness of Google Docs

By TRISTAN ENGST

without the most petty of formatting requirements, Google Docs is sufficient.

But where the word processor really begins to shine is in its capacity for real-time collaboration. For a long time, Google Docs was one of the only word processors where collaborators were able to work toIMAGE provided

For a long time, Google Docs was the only commonly used web-based suite of productivity programs. In 2012, it was renamed Google Drive, and became a file storage system, while the word-processing part was named “Google Docs”. Recently, Microsoft and Apple have come out with competing web-based word processors—Microsoft Office Online and iWork for iCloud—each with its own word-processing feature (Word and Pages, respectively).

Despite the fact that these two slick programs feature some beneficial collaboration features, Google Docs is ultimately the optimal word processor for most students.

Certainly, Microsoft Word and Apple Pages have many more features than Google Docs, which is a very basic word processor. Docs can switch between fonts, font sizes, colors, and line heights; it can implement basic tables, pictures, etc.— but it can’t do much else, even with the implementation of third-party add-ons. This is, admittedly, rather weak compared to the plethora of things Microsoft Word can do, but it represents the vast majority of formatting tools that the average student uses. For any assignment

gether on one document at the same time. Now, real-time collaboration has become the bar that many other word processors are working to meet. While the web-based Microsoft Word has done so and online users are now able to share and discuss documents, Google Docs still has the advantage of already

being popular. Arguably, a networking effect is evident; new computer users are invited by old ones to use Google Docs. Google Docs will remain the staple of functional wordprocessing, and will satisfy many who do not need Microsoft Word’s advanced (and complicated) features.

Google Docs will be especially useful for IHS students. Students in ICSD may encounter some synergy between two Google products— Google Docs and the Chrome OS installed on the coming Chromebooks—in the near future (see page 5). Chrome OS has Google Docs in its taskbar by default—it’s only one click away. The same cannot be said of Microsoft Word.

Ultimately, Google Docs will always be sufficient for school, and by virtue of already being popular, a network effect will keep it that way. What’s more, Google Docs will work best on the Chromebooks that students can expect to use a lot next year. While it may never replace Microsoft Word across the board, Google Docs is a better word processor for the common person. ∎

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

opinion

Volcano Proposal Continued from Page 10. modified using the igneous rock resulting from cooling magma flow as raw, environmentally-sound material.

Discipline has long been an issue at the high school, ranging from minor infractions such as skipping class to major offenses such as fistfights and sexual harassment. Relocating the ISS and detention classrooms to the crown of the caldera would provide a hefty incentive to abide by school discipline codes. Repeat offenders could be moved progressively down the reverse slope of the caldera itself, curbing and rehabilitating the perpetrators.

Ultimately, IHS as a building complex has been continually upgraded since its inception, but the changes cannot keep pace with the evolving demands of the community and nature of technology. We, as a school, need a clean break from the past, and the eruption of a volcano in such a central location would provide opportunity for rebirth. The school is necessarily insured against such contingencies, so cost is not at stake. Additionally, the state

February 2015

13

of New York would doubtlessly finance rebuilding of the school, and in the wake of such a disaster outpourings of charity and relief work are commonplace.

The lava flow into the surrounding area could pose some issues, but this will be mitigated somewhat since we are bordered by a body of water on one side, the fields and highway on the other, and a sheer hill on the last. Admittedly, the housing across Fall Creek would likely be severely impacted by magma flow, probably forcing the relocation of countless families, but this is a minor price to pay. Similarly, the widespread destruction of the creek itself, with resulting impact on our lake that it feeds, would have to be contemplated, but such losses are necessary for the greater good.

For all the above reasons, as well as unforeseen long-term benefits, it is obvious that we not only should install a volcano in GCourtyard, but are morally mandated to do so. We must seize the opportunity for a full rebirth of not only our high school, but the community at large. ∎

The Commons: Worth the Wait?

Continued from Page 8.

IMAGE provided

The additional working season has put financial pressure on the project. Although the budget for the project was initially estimated to be $10 million, the Common Council “approved a budget stretched out to $15 million” according to the Ithaca Journal. Many sources were responsible for the increase in budget, including the Downtown Ithaca Alliance and Ithaca’s Department of Transportation.

Although there have been significant setbacks and pushed deadlines, there is still hope for the Commons.

The construction was separated into three stages: demolition, rehabilitation and replacement, and surface improvements.

“The infrastructure below ground has seen a major overhaul to maintain services like water, gas, and electricity to buildings,” said Allison Graffin, Marketing Director for the Commons development. This underground construction has been mostly accomplished; all that remains is redecorating.

The workers will replace the many trees removed from the area. The Sciencenter statues that were dug up will be reinstalled, as well as the trolley circle at the intersection of State and East Tioga.

Thankfully, stage three is predict-

If all goes according to plan, this is what the Commons should look like this August.

ed to be a short one. The Commons should be fully open by August, with the grand reopening scheduled for August 28 and 29.

Despite the deadline being pushed back a full year, the budget being raised, and access being limited for the past two summers, this year promises additions that will directly benefit teens and be well worth the wait.

“The Bernie Milton Pavilion will be a great spot to check out concerts and performances throughout the year,” said Graffin. Along with concerts scheduled for every Thursday

evening, additional seating and public spaces will be welcoming to relaxing students and families. The Commons should have a “modern design and updated curb appeal.” Free wi-fi at the library and downtown restaurants are an especially appealing feature.

Check out the new DownTown Ithaca app for suggestions on upcoming events, eating options, and shops located on the new and improved Commons. Kiosks will be stationed at every significant landmark for additional help. ∎

14

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

February 2015

features Lexical Laboratory: Valentine’s Day Edition

By JONATHON HAWTHORNE

‘Tis the season of love. Valentine’s Day approaches, and many students struggle with expressing their romantic ideas.

Hopefully, this set of words will not only help broaden your vocabulary, but also help you come up with something creative for that special person you know. ephemeral (adj.): existing for a very short amount of time Your ephemeral glance was enough to ignite the spark for my impetuous response. melancholy (n.): a sad mood or feeling I passed the threshold into melancholy when I mulled over the small likelihood of my success. dormant (adj.): temporarily inactive The passion from my core lay dormant until I conjured up the confidence to speak my mind. catharsis (n.): the act of releasing a strong emotion (such as pity or fear), especially by expressing it in an art form What I believed to be a rational display of Continued on Page 21.

A Peek Into the IHS Annual

By JULIA SINTON

The purpose of the IHS Annual is to catalog a year’s worth of memories in a single book. Every fall, Yearbook Club faces the same challenge: how to capture it all. Thankfully, we have one hundred years of history to look back on for guidance.

The foundation of each edition is a simple idea, or theme. Led by a layout editor, an editor-in-chief, a junior editor-in-chief, and editors for the seven different sections, we brainstorm on what we want to do to make each year’s edition special. Then, all of the club members get assigned a job within a section. These include advertising sales, reporting winter sports statistics, or photographing underclassmen. As far as layout goes, we pay attention to every last detail. All the fonts and sizes, for instance, are checked to be uniform so that the theme can flow cleanly through all of the sections. Some editors spend about ten hours a week putting the book together. Having a large and diverse group of people working on the book brings a special atmosphere to the club.

This year’s 100th edition will feature a physically larger book, an emphasis on student culture, and a few hundred pages brimming with smiles; it’s on track to be the best Annual yet. Because it will be the cenContinued on Page 21.

Resolved: On Balance, IHS Speech and Debate Club Is Awesome

By JACOB SILCOFF

Every few weeks, I rush home after school on Friday to frantically read over facts about GMOs, private prisons, minimum wages, or globalization. I finish editing the equivalent of two research papers and wake up at 5:00 a.m. the next day, when I drive with my teammates for two hours to a school in the middle of nowhere. During the drive, I read over my case, think over the pros and cons, and wonder who exactly I might be going against. When we arrive at the school, we rush into the tiny cafeteria and size up the competition. The matches are posted, and we crowd around the board, trying to find our spots. We wish our teammates good luck, and use a paper map of the school to navigate to our events. The matches always seem to fly by. We speak, we argue, and we listen while taking frantic and critical notes. We ask hard questions, and we answer harder ones. And at the end of the day, we come out victorious.

We are the IHS Speech and Debate Club. We meet Mondays in H213, where we learn about debate and public speaking from professors and students at Ithaca College and Cornell. Then we take what we’ve learned and compete all over New York as part of the National Forensics League.

We do very well. We’ve made it to the finals of most of the tournaments we’ve attended. Currently, we plan to compete at the state-level tournaContinued on Page 22.

features

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

February 2015

15

Teacher Feature: Janet Bowman

By JAMES PARK

eled three weeks out of four and wasn’t home too much.

This was during a time when most women did not work, so my mother stayed at home and took care of us. She was a seamstress because at the time, there weren’t stores for tall women, and she used to have a clientele of very tall women whom she made clothes for. I have an older brother and a younger brother. My older brother is a professor of music at Michigan State, and my younger brother was in the military and the navy. He was a flight engineer and was actually over in Desert Storm and a few other places. Now, he’s a police officer in Phoenix, Arizona.

JP: How about your family now?

JB: I have two children. My oldest, Theresa, lives over in New York City and works at a financial firm in human resources—actually, in the second World Trade Center tower. My son Rob is an engineer, and he works for Segway; he’s currently working on a new machine that they’re trying to create.

JP: Did you grow up knowing French? Did you learn it from your family or from school?

JB: I actually learned it from school. If anything, I was inspired by the Beatles, as one of my favorite songs was “Michelle”, which has a lot of French in it and was my first introduction to French. I also had a favorite book that taught me steps from ballet, and all of those were in French, so then I had to learn how to pronounce them.

“I’m cornfused!”

Mrs. Bowman (called Madame Bowman by her students) teaches French in the bright, poster-laden room of K101. Known for her amiability, amusing antics, and often bizarre inside jokes, she is always eager to teach and never too tired to grade three classes’ worth of tests in a single night. I decided to interview her to discover more about her life and teaching at IHS. James Park ’17: Where did you grow up and go to school?

Janet Bowman: I grew up in the Midwest in Springfield, Missouri, as well as St. Louis, Chicago, and Kansas City.

I moved around a lot.

JP: Tell us about your family growing up. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

JB: Well, my dad was a salesman, and therefore he trav-

JP: What did you primarily focus on during high school and college? Who or what inspired you to begin teaching?

JB: Actually, since I moved to Chicago in the middle of my freshman year in high school, I was kind of just thrown into classes, and it wasn’t until junior year that I felt like I had any idea of what I possibly wanted to do and was able to choose courses that I thought I would be interested in.

I did receive a teaching scholarship; I think I decided that I wanted to become a teacher at a pretty young age. I took a course that was called Child Development. We had to take care of a preschool.

In that course, we had to set the curriculum for a whole semester, and we were reContinued on Page 23.

16

February 2015

features

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

Trumble in the Jungle: A Fictional Drama

By KALIL HENDEL

FADE IN: EXT. ITHACA HIGH SCHOOL ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICES - DAY Students bustle to and fro, bundled up against the cold. A light snow is falling.

CUT TO: INT. ITHACA HIGH SCHOOL ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICES MR. TRUMBLE, a man in a suit and tie with a salt & pepper beard walks up to a door labeled “Dr. Brown, Superintendent” and raises his hand to knock.

Before his knuckles touch the door he hears a deep baritone voice emanating from within the office.

DR. BROWN (O.S.) Come in.

CUT TO: INT. DR BROWN’S OFFICE DR. BROWN is sitting in a high backed chair, looking out the window. His face is cast in shadow. A cigarette hangs loosely from his left hand. MR. TRUMBLE wrings his hands and steps into the room.

write

Anyone is welcome to write for the Tattler!

Email editor@ihstattler.com

MR. TRUMBLE DoctorDR. BROWN How old do you think I am, Jason?

MR. TRUMBLE I’m not quite sure, sir.

DR. BROWN I never feel older than...times like these. When the future of this district rests on a single decision I might make.

Dr. Brown turns and leans forward. His face is revealed to be sallow and tired.

Ragged stubble hangs from his jaw, and heavy bags saddle his eyes. He takes a long drag from the cigarette.

DR. BROWN (CONT’D) I’ve spent my whole life around this system. I’ve seen schools flourish up from burned ground and succeed where they never should have. I’ve watched the same schools degrade and fall apart, the victims of budget cuts that could make you question the righteousness of law. There are teachers, barely older than their burnt out students, trying to hold together a decaying web of testing standards and ancient curriculum, assaulted from all sides by parents and administrators and lawmakers.

We’ve been lucky so far, but listen well when I tell you this: we need a leader. The right leader is everything.

I would do it if I could, but it is not my place, not my ordained destiny.

He stands up and walks over to stare at a picture hanging on the wall. He takes another puff of his cigarette and exhales slowly. Mr. Trumble shifts from foot to foot.

DR. BROWN (CONT’D) We need someone to take this school to the greatest heights it can reach.

A principal who can tackle technology

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

features

integration and testing standards in the same breath, who can engage with the wild diversity of our red and gold halls, who can not only lead, but lead with love. Do you know what I’m saying?

Mr. Trumble sucks in a lungful of air through his nose, and straightens up.

MR. TRUMBLE Dr. Brown...that’s actually why I’m here. I believe I’ve found the next principal of IHS.

February 2015

any overeducated braggart from another state. If it’s the choosing of a new principal that has you worried, rest easy knowing this: there is no choice.

Mr. Trumble maintains heavy eye contact with Dr. Brown. A single bead of sweat runs down his brow. We see his face falter for a second: he has just gambled his entire career. After a long moment, Dr. Brown drops his head into his hands and says something indistinct. Mr. Trumble swallows nervously.

Dr. Brown lets out a pitiful laugh.

MR. TRUMBLE ...what?

DR. BROWN Jason, we’ve looked at hundreds of applicants, interviewed dozens. We’ve seen the best educators from sea to shining sea. None of them-

DR. BROWN I said...congratulations, Jason.

As of now you are the tenured principal of Ithaca High School.

MR. TRUMBLE None of them were right for IHS? I know. I know what kind of captain this ship needs.

Dr. Brown sighs, rubs his forehead, and motions for Mr. Trumble to speak.

DR. BROWN Alright.

Alright, let’s hear it. Who’s your candidate, then?

Mr. Trumble doesn’t speak, just folds his arms in front of himself. We see Dr. Brown slowly understand. He then takes a long pull from his cigarette and snubs it out in a nearby ashtray.

Silence hangs like a veil in the office.

DR. BROWN Jason, you know IMR. TRUMBLE I’ve been in this district for twentythree years. I’ve seen everything you fear, and I’ve survived it all. I’ve taught here, I’ve coached here, I’ve been principal here for the last three months, and I’ve gained an understanding of the school that will outmatch

17

PRINCIPAL TRUMBLE struggles to hold in a wave of relief.

PRINCIPAL TRUMBLE This means more to me than you could possibly know. I won’t let you down.

Principal Trumble heads for the door.

DR. BROWN You were right.

Principal Trumble pauses. Dr. Brown rises from his chair and extends a hand out to him.

DR. BROWN There never

was a choice. aboard.

Welcome

Mr. Trumble shakes Dr. Brown’s hand.

Then, with tears in his eyes, he fires off a crisp salute to the superintendent and leaves.

FADE TO BLACK ∎

Custodial Repair Room

A laborer’s paradise, this room holds a myriad of custodial supplies and tools, and is where repairs are done. IHS, being the largest local school, maintains one of the largest custodial supply rooms in the district. The room also houses a now–federally banned soda machine (its function unknown).

The Vault

Between Student Services and the Main Office lies a secure room storing over 50 years’ worth of student data, test scores, selected archival material, and records. The two doors resemble doors to a bank safe—they are extremely large and heavy-looking. This is because the vault preserves many important documents. It is even fireproof!

To the right are the less protected but nonetheless extensive medical records, which are kept in the very back hallway of the medical office.

Unknown IHS The Elevator

Many are unaware of the fact that IHS has an elevator. Located between G and H, its decor is that of the 1960s. It is primarily used for students with disabilities and moving heavy objects between floors, and requires a key in order to operate.

Examination Rooms

Besides the “lay-down” room wherein beds allow ill students to rest, the medical office also houses two examination rooms for medical examinations like those any doctor’s office would provide. The presence of these examination rooms is a reminder that the high school, like any society, needs facilities for medical care.

G-Courtyard

This curious natural area is beautiful in any season, but is always seen out of windows and not in person. Although students are not allowed in, it is maintained by district personnel and benches still remain from when it was used. In the 1990s, barbeques were held in G-Courtyard every quarter.

The Kitchen

Although hundreds of students go through lunch lines every day, few see the behind-the-scenes operations of the kitchen crew. The kitchen contains an abundance of large mechanical instruments designed to cook food for large crowds. In addition, it contains several storage rooms, some hallways to access food trucks, and a lot of goods.

Centerspread

By CONOR COUTTS Photography by JOHN YOON

The Underground Tunnels

There is a well-structured system of underground tunnels connecting many areas of the school. The most accessible one is the one underneath A-Building (pictured above); the others require the elaborate opening of trapdoors. The tunnels contain an abundance of rubble and some trash. They are cold, dark, and sooty. Their primary purpose is to provide a connected system for water pumps and sewage lines.

20

February 2015

features

The Hall Monitor Interviews and Photographs by BRIDGET FETSKO

What is your favorite pun?

Brooke Henderson ’18: “I'm reading a book about antigravity. . . . It's impossible to put down.”

Siarra Hicks ’15: “I tried to catch some fog. . . . I mist.”

Cassidy Easton ’16: “Why don’t crawdads share? Because they’re SHELLFISH!”

Adrie Clark ’15: “What did the scientist say when he discovered two new isotopes of helium? HeHe.”

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

features

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

February 2015

21

Lexical Laboratory Continued from Page 14.

IHS Annual Continued from Page 14.

emotions was perceived as merely a moment of inane catharsis. venerate (v.): to feel or show great respect for I could not help but venerate her relaxed yet intense demeanor. fervent (adj.): intense and passionate feeling With a fervent resolve, he did not let the obstacle of fear obstruct his goals any further.

The Annual staff hard at work.

tennial edition, the theme “Hundreds of Memories” was perfect. And because it’s not tied down to a certain motif, it has allowed us to be even more creative with our design. The theme itself motivates us to capture every single face in the school and the stories behind them.

Writing captions and taking pictures is only a fraction of the work that goes into the final version of the yearbook. Organization is crucial to Yearbook Club. There are over 30 Google Docs with lists, deadlines, and surveys that each team member keeps track of as they edit the book.

We have pages for all of the different clubs, dances, events, sports, and so on. This year, we are taking it a step

further by including senior quotes and grade surveys, thus creating a personal vibe that we have never before attempted.

Being junior editor-in-chief, I have become very familiar with all aspects of IHS. I’ve been blown away by our outstanding school community: our sports teams are talented, our academics top-notch, our staff members incredible, and our clubs and activities extensive. One of my main goals while creating the book this year is to fully capture that. The Annual is designed not to be a glossy hardcover dust-collector, but a single artifact that will remind you of the truly oneof-a-kind community we have at our fingertips. ∎

write

Anyone is welcome to write for the Tattler!

Email editor@ihstattler.com

ignominy (n.): the state of feeling ashamed or embarrassed I experienced a moment of pure, unadulterated ignominy when I was shut down after pouring my heart out. benevolence (n.): disposition to do good O wonderful, your beauty radiates, but not as much as your benevolence does. emanate (v.): to come out from a source Your positivity emanates through even the most dark of locations. allure (v.): to entice by charm or attraction He was allured by the proposition of finding time to interact with his significant other. ∎

advertise with the Tattler!

Email editor@ihstattler.com

22

February 2015

features Debate Club Continued from Page 14.

From left to right: top row: Hyebin Kim ’17, and Ruth Silcoff ’17; bottom row: Mrinal Thomas ’17, Zack Stillman ’16, Jacob Silcoff ’17, and Freya Ryd ’17.

ment in the spring, and will be participating at a British Parliamentary tournament at Ithaca College against college students.

There are all sorts of events to compete in, including public forum debate, Lincoln–Douglas debate, impromptu speaking, extemporaneous speaking, and dramatic interpretation, as well as other events. The event we do most often at IHS is public forum debate, a style of debate in which two teams of two use evidence and reason to convince an informed citizen to side a certain way on a topic. The other type of debate we’ve done is Lincoln– Douglas debate, a one-on-one debate style typically over a question of morals. This style is judged by an expert in debate, and is based not just on persuasiveness, but also on technical skill. Both these events involve some research and preparing a case in advance. We will also be doing British Parliamentary debate, an impromptu style that has four teams of two competing against each other, and various speaking events. For example, impromptu is an event in which you get a random prompt, such as a quote, image, or even some random words, and have to give a four-minute speech based on it given only two minutes of preparation. Another speech event is extemporaneous speaking, which involves preparing a speech about a current events topic on the spot given only 20 minutes of preparation.

Joining is easy. All you have to do is show up to a Monday meeting, and you’re in the club. Can’t make it

on Mondays? No problem. If you are interested in debate but can’t make the meetings, you can still compete. A lot of the work we do is outside of school, and preparing a case for debate is easily accomplished without going to all the meetings. If we know you’re coming, we’ll sign you up, and all you have to do is prepare and show up on Saturday, when we compete. We even organize carpooling to get to the competitions. You may think that researching for a debate is hard and that you don’t have the time to do it. This is a load of malarkey, as we share research, and it is possible (though not advised) to write your entire case using research we’ve collected for you.

Plus, many events don’t require any preparation at all.

In addition to being easy, speech and debate will also teach you skills that are extremely important. First, public speaking is the number-one fear in America. If you want to be braver than over 75 million Americans, we can teach you how. Being able to confidently speak will help you at job interviews, auditions, and school presentations. Plus, the argumentation and research skills you’ll learn will help you write those pesky essays. Debate also looks great on college applications. Finally, and most importantly, speech and debate is fun. You can compete against or with your friends (or siblings)—and win. An overwhelming amount of evidence says you should join the IHS Speech and Debate Club. ∎

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

Teacher Feature Continued from Page 15. sponsible for conducting classes with the four- and five-year-olds. And it was actually pretty cool, because you had to create activities based on themes, and that got me interested in possibly seeing what it would be like to share the discovery of things.

JP: Did you have any other jobs before you became a teacher?

JB: Oh yeah. Let’s see. I’ve been a waitress many times over, I’ve worked in a grocery store, I’ve taught English in a business school in France, and I’ve also taught little kids in summer schools. . . . I’ve done a bunch of things.

JP: I’ve often overheard students complain about the difficulty of your tests. Would you say that you do this intentionally, or is it just part of the challenge of learning a new language?

JB: Oh really? I didn’t know that. . . . I think it’s important to challenge students, and if a test is too easy, then where’s the excitement and where’s the joy of knowing that you really conquered something that seemed possibly out of reach? And in fact, if they work through it and challenge themselves, most of the time, kids will rise to the occasion.

JP: You host a trip to France about every two years for students who get to visit Paris and various other locations. How do you view these trips?

JB: [Laughs] I love them.

First of

features

February 2015

all, it forces the students to put themselves in a situation where they have to use the language, and it’s so rewarding to see a student come out of a store and go, “I did it! I did it!

They understood what I said! I can’t believe it! Did you know, Mrs. Bowman, that I asked for this and this and this and they understood me!?”

It’s . . . it’s just crazy. And then they get excited about seeing the different places; you know, “This is where Marie Antoinette really was before they took her to the guillotine.” I mean, it’s just like you’re living through history.

JP: Would you say that the trip helps students develop a greater interest in French?

JB: Yes. It helps to develop an interest in French, France, and also history and art. It allows them to see things firsthand that they might never get to see again in their lives, because their jobs may not necessarily allow them to return to places such as France.

JP: Do you believe that the skill of learning a language is something that you acquire with practice?

JB: Definitely. It’s exactly that. It’s like learning to play an instrument, like learning to play a sport. You have to go through all the patterns and maneuvers and repetition.

JP: What would you say is the most difficult aspect of teaching French to Americans?

JB: Unfortunately, I think most Americans think that learning a language is not important. It’s hard to understand the fact that if you can communicate in a new language, you have a power: a power to communicate in the language of another person, and to truly have an exchange of ideas.

JP:

You’ve

23

taught Spanish before as well. How do your experiences from teaching Spanish and teaching French compare?

JB: I think that because of the different countries that are involved, you deal with different themes and topics. For instance, in regards to Spanish, you would be going through art, like Picasso, and you would be dealing with the indigenous people in Spanish-speaking countries. Possibly also more of immigration as well, as the U.S. has a large Spanish population.

JP: Would you say that French and Spanish are more similar than different or vice versa?

JB: They’re very similar; there are a lot of distinctions in subjunctives and certain other constructions, but yes—they do overlap.

JP: What do you like most about IHS and ICSD? What has changed throughout the years?

JB: I think that after having taught here in the district for more than 30 years, I can say without a doubt that I find so many of the students to be truly involved in trying to get an education and trying to discover new topics and new areas and trying, hopefully, to make a difference in this world. And I find this truly inspiring.

JP: What do you enjoy doing in your free time?

JB: In my free time, I love to read.

Any author is fine, as long as the title sounds good. In addition to reading, I run, but I’m a slow runner.

JP: What’s one event in your life that you will never forget?

JB: Having my first child.

Favorite French book: Le Petit Prince Favorite food: Cheese (any kind) Favorite pun: I’m cornfused!

One thing I would bring to a desert island: My husband Favorite band: The Beatles ∎

24

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

February 2015

Inherent Vice: The ’70s in a Nutshell

By MALAMA SOKONI

Inherent Vice was one of my most anticipated films of the year, and it has generated quite a bit of buzz over the past few months. Paul Thomas Anderson’s welcome return to capturing the raw incoherency of the 1970s was highly anticipated to say the least, and definitely equipped many viewers with very specific expectations.

So now, the million-dollar question comes: is this latest Anderson flick better than the classic exploration of America’s porn industry circa the late ’70s that is Boogie Nights? Believe it or not, the two films are exceedingly difficult to compare. While Boogie Nights shows us the near seamless transition from ’70s to ’80s that occurred in our country not so long ago, Inherent Vice seems much more centered on the early stages of the ’70s, back when people still thought it was the ’60s—not to mention the fact that Vice is a lot more conservative with its full frontal nudity.

First off, the cast must be addressed.

Joaquin Phoenix is truly one of the decade’s most interesting and dynamic actors, having pursued roles so differContinued on Page 28.

By PEARSE ANDERSON

IMAGE by fatime sowe

arts

The Next Jump: A Look at Fame

The fabulous finale of Fame.

Fame: The Musical, the most recent production by the Running to Places Theatre Company (R2P), was the best local musical I have ever seen. Last year’s Legally Blonde set the bar, and Fame has just raised it. The choreography, music, and underlying history of the production not only made it great, but also signaled the beginning of a new age for local youth theater.

Last time I was in the State Theatre, it was to go behind the scenes of R2P for my investigative piece in the June issue of the Tattler. The energy that I experienced months ago was again visible when I entered the theater for Fame. Olivia Rosenberg ’15, the wardrobe supervisor in the production, bumped into me in the lobby, almost crying. “They just finished up senior speeches,” she explained.

“I’m a wreck. I love everybody and I’ve never been more proud of any human beings than of every single person in this show.”

Joey Steinhagen, the director of the company, assured the audience that R2P is blooming into something greater than it had ever been. In past years, the parents or guardians of the actors paid the company close to $500 per actor per production. “That’s why I never did Running to Places,” Ben Pesco ’16, a Trumansburg student, explained to me during the intermission. This production is the start of a new era in which such fees have disappeared. Joey stressed that the company is now operating using grant, scholarship, and donation funds only. He urged the audience to donate, and after watching Fame, they’ve convinced me to contribute. “Based on the caliber of show they’re able to put on, it’s impressive that they’ve been able to strip all those payments,” R2P alumnus Brendan Coyle ’14 added. “It’ll provide so many more opportunities to some of the kids around to participate in shows without having to worry about the whole money obligation.”

Choosing Fame as this season’s musical was an intelligent choice due to the nature of the script. Fame, like Legally Blonde, is set in a school environment and deals with problems that students can relate to, such as finding oneself as an individual, body image, and the role of art in school curriculums. The jokes were cheesy but laughable, and the level of swearing was appropriate for an audience our age. The script didn’t place anything in that didn’t fit the atmosphere.

The choice to stage the musical in the New York High School of Performing Arts was ingenious, as it allowed for a variety of songs in many genres while incorporating dance, music, and acting in fantastic new ways. Christian Henry Continued on Page 31.

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

Selma: A Review

arts

February 2015

25

The Monkeysquids

By JAMES YOON

BY LIZ ROSEN

Ava DuVernay’s Selma is a masterpiece of American cinema. The movie tackles the months in 1964 when Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (David Oyelowo), having just received the Nobel Peace Prize, set about organizing demonstrations in the South to protest the systematic disenfranchisement of potential black voters in spite of their constitutional right to take part in the democratic process. There are many things that make this movie a standout, from its timeliness to its focus on making men out of monuments to its impeccable cast and crew.

One way in which Selma excels is its consistent effort in presenting larger-than-life figures as layered, flawed people. For example, President Lyndon B. Johnson (Tom Wilkinson) is neither a hero nor a villain in this movie. Although this has aroused complaints from some critics, the ambiguity of his actions is what makes him interesting as a character. At one point, LBJ and MLK face off beneath a portrait of George Washington as the president struggles to persuade King to cease his political maneuvering for civil rights protections. “You’re an activist, not a politician!” he thunders.

Time and time again, King puts the onus on him to sign legislation protecting black voting rights, and LBJ’s insistence on waiting until the public is behind it reminds us that like most people in government, he is first and foremost a politician.

From the very beginning, it is clear that the movie is out to humanize King, a giant of American history who is so enshrined in our culture that it is hard to picture him as an everyman.

DuVernay has described the process of filming Selma as one of discovering that King was “just a brother from Atlanta”, and it’s obvious that this understanding has shaped the movie. The opening scene shows King fussing Continued on Page 29.

Declan Fearon ’17 (left) and Quinn Bedore ’17 (right).

Is it the funky guitar rhythms of Jimi Hendrix? Is it the ecstatic bass riffs of Nate Mendel? Is it the vibrant and energizing vocals of Axl Rose? You’ve guessed wrong. It is the sound of the Monkeysquids, an avid group of young musicians that made their debut at IHS during the talent show. The Monkeysquids are the newest addition to IHS’s talented pool of student musicians. I met with Quinn Bedore ’17 and Declan Fearon ’17, two IHS students who play in the Monkeysquids.

James Yoon ’17: Who are the band members and what do you play?

Quinn Bedore ’17: Currently, I play the guitar, Declan plays the bass, and Jasper, his brother, sings. But we tend to switch around instruments a lot, since we all have the ability to play other instruments. It’s a lot of fun.

JY: For how long have you been playing together? Tell me about your origins.

Declan Fearon ’17: First, the Monkeysquids was just me, my dad, and Jasper.

We played at talent shows in elementary schools. After one year, when I was ten and Jasper was eight, my dad was having a reunion at a bar in Philadelphia called Kung Fu Necktie, and we played there.

It was pretty scary because there were a bunch of guys wearing neck tattoos and leather. We played “Kids in America”. It was the first song we performed. So that was a crazy experience for us.

QB: And I joined the Monkeysquids in fifth grade.

JY: When you first started off, how small were you?

DF: When the band first started, we practiced in a small apartment that we rented. It was vacant, but we still used it because we got an old drum kit from our grandfather’s house. We also had a Continued on Page 30.

26

February 2015

arts

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

The Interview, or: We Almost Went to War Over a Mediocre Seth Rogen Comedy

By KALIL HENDEL

IMAGE provided

The level of improv going on is excessive, and it’s funny like your friend who drinks bong water is funny.

In The Interview, directed by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, James Franco plays childlike TV host Dave Skylark, who secures a high-profile interview with psychotic North Korean despot Kim Jong-un. Skylark and his best friend–producer Aaron Rapoport, portrayed by the sexy bearded Rogen, are contacted by the U.S. government and asked to assassinate Kim. Hijinks ensue.

Rogen and Franco have been stoking their bromance since 2008’s Pineapple Express (it’s funny ’cause it’s, like, they’re gay, but they’re not!), and so far, it’s proved a pretty marketable, usually entertaining formula. In The Interview, they attempt the same, with mixed results. Rogen consistently hit the mark with his flabbergasted portrayal of Rapoport, but James Franco’s half of the interaction felt jittery and hyperactive like open-mic night at a methadone clinic. The duo has played on the Abbott and Costello dynamic to different degrees in their previous works, though during The Interview, I found the most grating sequences to be the extended dialogue between the two leads. The level of improv going on is excessive, and it’s funny like your friend who drinks bong water is funny—shocking, crude, and endlessly dumb.

A soaring high point in the film is Randall Park’s Kim Jongun. It would have been so easy to cast the actor with the best Kim impression, but thankfully, Park instead graces us with his sensitive dictator, who justs wants to be a real boy and who resents his position as puppet of the state. Probably the most entertaining montage (and there are more montages than you could reasonably justify) was the long day that Kim spends with Skylark, of whom he is a huge fan. They blast Katy Perry music in a tank,

dunk on some fools, and have a hilariously touching conversation about Kim’s father, the late Kim Jong-il. The relationship between Skylark and Kim was worthy of a film on its own, though I did find myself disappointed that we didn’t get a scene of jealous Seth Rogen accusing James Franco of cheating on him with the tiny megalomaniac. After all the wonderful “Am I actually relating to Kim Jong-un?” moments of the second act, his inevitable turn for the psychopathic is a bit of a buzzkill, though the titular interview that follows is probably Franco and Park’s best work in the 112-minute film.

Beyond the individual characterizations (honorable mention to Diana Bang for trying much harder than she had to), the movie is a mess. The plot itself is barely worth going into, and there were far too many scenes of hasty exposition after the writers discovered they’d wasted 20 minutes on an anal insertion joke.

The overall tone of the film can be summed up by a montage in which Rogen’s character travels to China: it’s intermittently funny, it probably didn’t need to happen, and it was clearly a lot more fun for the filmmakers than it is for us.

Rogen and Franco had a real opportunity to grow their comedy up a bit and go the way of great political satirists, but they passed it up for their same tired old bit. If you’re looking for a brain-dead kickback film, you’ve found it. The Interview will entice you with some vestiges of smart satire and golden character moments, but like the fake fruits in Pyongyang’s markets, The Interview is nothing but colorful exterior with an empty core. ∎

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

arts

February 2015

27

Panda Bear Meets the Grim Reaper

BY JASPER MINSON

IMAGE provided

Panda Bear is the solo musical project of multiinstrumentalist and vocalist Noah Lennox. Lennox is probably best known as a founding member of the band Animal Collective, and has helped shape their undefinable sound over the past decade. On his solo records, he has continued to develop a singular sound as well, and on his fifth LP, Panda Bear Meets the Grim Reaper, he succeeds yet again in creating an engaging listen. Yes, the album is actually called Panda Bear Meets the Grim Reaper. It’s pretty terrific.

After the colorful “Sequential Circuits” opens the record, the vibrant “Mr Noah” hits. This song is full of energy, with layers of synthesizers and a driving breakbeat. The production, handled by Peter Kember (a.k.a. Sonic Boom), is thick and dreamy throughout. The funky “Crosswords” and oddball “Butcher Baker Candlestick Maker” further develop this dreamy sound. Unfortunately, the latter track is easily the weakest on the entire record, with a bland vocal delivery that gets lost underneath Kember’s production. Luckily, it’s also quite short, and it quickly fades into “Boys Latin”, one of Grim Reaper’s undeniable high points. Suddenly, the life is back in Lennox’s voice, and now it’s here to stay.

On Grim Reaper as a whole, Lennox tackles

Panda Bear’s album is definitely worth a listen.

an impressive amount of subject matter, including depression, identity, the pressures of fatherhood, and death. These topics aren’t exactly new ground for him, and they’re hardly uncharted territory in the world of music and art, but they do feel especially vivid this time around.

The first half of the record winds down with “Come to Your Senses”, a wonderful song with a brilliant question-and-answer refrain that unfortunately drags on longer than necessary. A distant horn and sampled harp then signal the start of one of the most beautiful songs on the entire LP: “Tropic of Cancer”.

It’s an outstanding example of Lennox’s talent for taking something simple and turning it into something

completely unique. Here, Lennox explores and confronts the hardships resulting from the death of his father with a beautiful sincerity that reaches staggering emotional highs. It’s more impressive in that it’s a song about understanding disease as another aspect of life, which puts a unique and brave spin on the subject matter.

“Tropic of Cancer” is positioned back to back with the equally expressive “Lonely Wanderer”, my personal favorite and another atmospheric meditation on life that perfectly stays its meandering welcome. Things liven up again with “Principe Real”, and as “Selfish Gene” follows, things start to come full circle. Tracks such as this one, as well

as “Lonely Wanderer”, are clearly about reflection.

It’s refreshing that a musician who tackles grandiose themes of life and death winds down his epic journey with a message as simple and true as, “You’ll trip up sometimes, but go get up again.” It makes for a beautiful and life-affirming finale and a great moment of reflection for the record as a whole. Everybody makes mistakes, everybody dies sooner or later, and everyone and everything (disease included) is just trying their best to survive in the meantime. So, “go get up again.”

Unfortunately, “Selfish Gene” wasn’t left as the final track—the messy “Acid Wash” follows; not a bad song, but definitely not as strong of a closer.

On the whole, it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed by the beauty and variety that this record offers up. Despite its moments of weakness, Panda Bear Meets the Grim Reaper is a wonderful album, and I highly recommend giving it a listen. It’s packed full of truly beautiful moments and plenty of interesting sounds, and it carries a great message at its core. ∎

28

February 2015

Inherent Vice Continued from Page 24. second acts of the film, of thought processes is an names you will never re- amazing feat on Anderson’s member. For the first hour part. The best way to relate and a half, it seems that to a fictional character is there is too much hap- to feel as they do—in this pening in too little time. case, to take a trip into the But one thing people seem mind of the skilled, albeit to forget is that it is sup- lazy, Doc Sportello. The posed to feel this way. film does have its slow moDoc is a private investi- ments, though, and is defigator with an affinity for nitely not as fast-paced as I cannabis, thus rendering expected it to be. This fact

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

refers to an object’s inherent tendency to dissolve or collapse based solely on the object’s contents or characteristics. Essentially, we are all human, and so there are certain things that we are bound to do.

And with this truly hilarious film, Anderson drives the point home magnificently. I’d like to see him go further with comedy in future projects, because the timing in this film was quite extraordinary.

I give Inherent Vice a 7 out of 10. It is a masterfully done comedic mystery with twists and turns that never feel convoluted or forced.

Better than Boogie Nights? It’s hard to say.

But I think I prefer Inherent Vice, just because mysteries are my favorite. For me, nothing beats the feeling of having your mind wrecked by a well-done plot twist.

And the Vice soundtrack is simply perfect. Just flawless. But I’m curious to hear your opinion. Tweet @MyLlama97 and let me know which film you liked better. Or just tweet about movies—anything goes. ∎ IMAGE provided

ent from each other that to this day, you aren’t sure what his personality is like in real life. He is perfect for his role, as is everyone else in the film. Reese Witherspoon commands the screen during her scenes with sharp, witty dialogue delivered exquisitely.

Katherine Waterston, a lesser-known actress, gives Phoenix a run for his money with her truly amazing turn as the enigmatic ex– love interest.

Among the list of incredible actors— ranging from Michael Kenneth Williams as a salty, black militant to Jena Malone as a heroin addict–turned– drug counselor—the number one biggest (and most welcome) surprise of the film is Josh Brolin as “Bigfoot” Bjornsen, the no-nonsense, hippie-hating detective who lights up the screen with brilliant outbursts and hilarious dialogue. In particular, he is in one scene in the third act of the film that will leave you absolutely speechless.

The film’s plot is a very complex one, but it is also deceptive in its apparent confusion. Names and characters are thrown at you during the first and

arts

Joaquin Phoenix and Benicio del Toro share a drink.

him just as confused and out of it as you are. He attempts to keep track of it all, but just like the audience, he repeatedly fails to balance all of the different cases he is tackling. That is, until the third act of the film. Then, the names are all mentioned again, the faces are once again seen, and in some strange, magical way, you start to piece it all together. It all starts making sense, bit by bit, until you and Doc are evidently on the same page.

This wondrous mirroring

only becomes more apparent during scenes that you can’t help but consider unnecessarily long or uninteresting. No scene is unwatchable—the characters and dialogue together are enough to keep you listening until the fun mysterysolving stuff kicks back into full effect—but there are definitely some pacing issues that smart writing and editing could have easily resolved.

The message Anderson is trying to convey is clear even in the title, a term that

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

arts

February 2015

29

Selma Continued from Page 25.

IMAGE provided

nervously with his ascot before receiving his Nobel Prize and flirting with his wife Coretta (Carmen Ejogo) before he admits that he is hopelessly tired from his fight to gain equal rights for AfricanAmericans. King’s bone-deep weariness is an important aspect of his characterization, and after he returns from Oslo to a situation that is heating up in the South, it’s clear that his responsibilities as head of the civil rights movement weigh on him. In one poignant scene, he speaks with a reporter about the possibility that he won’t survive to see the fruits of his labor. King’s own mortality clearly haunts him, but it’s those who could be hurt in the crossfire that he worries about the most, whether they’re his family or the people on the frontlines.

Over the course of the movie, King also faces problems with his home life.

Coretta, although thoroughly dedicated to the cause, confesses to him that it is unspeakably difficult to have to listen to threats whispered over the phone against her family and to worry about her husband’s life every day. Her struggle is further worsened when the FBI sends a tape to her that supposedly contains a recording from a tryst between her husband and another woman. The movie chooses not to test the verity of this claim, but it does depict the large rift that opened between the two of them after this confrontation. Addressing the practical problems of keeping a marriage going under conditions that prevent their children from having a normal childhood and keep the couple under a limelight where their every move is under scrutiny is one of the many little things that, when juxtaposed against the backdrop of the greater struggle in Selma, make this movie great.

Any review of Selma would be incomplete without an overview of the artistic cinematography, so here it is: every shot is beautiful. The Bloody Sunday sequence, which depicts the violent attack on the first march from Selma to Montgomery by state troopers, is stellar.

The marchers disappear into a cloud of white smoke only broken by the troopers, who gallop by on their horses, lassoing marchers and beating them sense-

King questions continuing on the Edmund Pettus Bridge.

less in the haze. DuVernay and Bradford Young, the cinematographer, have surgeon-like precision in their control of the camera. The deliberation is palpable in shots where arguing subjects are put into two different shots, leaning into the corner and staring out of the frame, with negative space behind them that lends to the intensity. DuVernay is also particularly fond of shooting over people’s shoulders and bobbing around behind their ears to lend to the intimacy.

At other moments, she steps away from this familiarity by shooting characters in profile so that most of their features are obscured to create a greater sense of historical importance and perhaps aid in our suspension of disbelief.

The cast and crew of this movie are excellent. The camera work is beautiful and the actors shine, especially Oyelowo, whose magnetism and delivery mark him as one of the few men who can convincingly step into the shoes of someone whose voice and cadences are so well known. It is incredibly important that this narrative was told by black people, such as director DuVernay, produceractress Oprah, and the primarily black cast, but there is a tinge of irony in that many of the main characters are played

by Brits. Oyelowo, Ejogo, Wilkinson, and Tim Roth (who played the smarmy and decidedly villainous Alabama governor Wallace) are all from the U.K., although

their accents were well hidden.

Lastly, there is the timeliness of this movie. Over the credits, the song “Glory” plays, performed by actor-musician Common and John Legend. “Glory” explicitly relates the protests in Selma to those in Ferguson, a comparison which is hard to discredit in light of plotlines such as the murder of black protester Jimmy Lee Jackson and a scene in which African-Americans who want to register to vote kneel en masse in front of the courthouse with their hands raised.

Selma depicts racism in ways both large and small, through police brutality and the little, insidious ways the county clerk goes about making Annie Lee Cooper feel worthless (such as by denying her voter registration due to her inability to name all 67 county judges in Alabama).

In the final sequence, modern, colored footage of the march to Montgomery is intercut with black and white reels from the actual event, as King gives a speech written for the movie (they couldn’t use his actual speeches because of copyright issues) and notes appear over characters, telling us what ended up happening to them. Although the movie ends with historical certainties which place it firmly in the past, it is clear that the fight is not over yet. The racism faced by people like Cooper lives on, but we should be proud that such glorious movies can be created to inspire continued action. ∎

30

February 2015

guitar, and we started playing music. We tried different things, even though none of us had much experience. Then, we converted a small shed in our backyard into a music studio. We now use a great deal of state-of-the-art equipment that I need to thank my dad for. We have a PA system, a new soundboard, an electric drum kit, an acoustic drum kit, and thirteen guitars. It’s also the perfect place to practice, since it has a lot of room.

JY: What is the story behind your name?

DF: The story behind the name is actually kind of stupid. There is a toy that my dog plays with. It has the head of a monkey and has a rubber body with things that come out of it like squid legs.

We started calling it a monkeysquid.

When we started playing, we figured that we needed to have a band name.

We couldn’t really think of anything, so monkeysquids was a name that we chose. I’m going to quote Dave Grohl here: “Had I imagined that it would last more than a month-and-a-half, I might have named it something else. It’s the dumbest band name ever.” But I own it. I like the band name.

JY: In what venues or events have you performed?

DF: We’ve been doing talent shows. The original Monkeysquids did the first talent show in 2009 in Fall Creek. We’ve been playing at the Fall Creek talent shows every year. Throughout middle school, we played at the Boynton talent shows. At that time, Quinn and I played guitar, my dad was on the drums, and Jasper was singing and playing the bass.

QB: When Declan and I were in eighth grade, we went all out in our show. We played “Enter Sandman” by Metallica and we had smoke machines and lasers, and the drum sticks lit up. We apparently gave someone an asthma attack. It was pretty cool. Two years ago, we started performing in Porchfest. In previous years, we’ve had different performers constantly coming on and off stage. The music teachers from Fall Creek have also performed with us. It’s always a lot of fun. This year, we had out our biggest set yet, and we had less people jumping on

arts The Monkeysquids Continued from Page 25. and off stage—it was just us. Every year, when we look around, we always have the biggest crowd we see. There has to be at least a hundred people outside our house. It has gotten to the point where the crowd is in the road and blocking traffic.

JY: What was your most exciting moment so far?

QB: Every time we go on stage. At this year’s talent show, for example, the weather was terrible but we still had a good turnout.

JY: How would you describe your musical style? Who are your musical influ-

“We apparently gave someone an asthma attack. It was pretty cool.” ences?

QB: Punkish, funkish, rockish, and a little grunge here and there.

DF: We’re definitely influenced by Red Hot Chili Peppers. We play a lot of their songs. Their bass lines are great, and they make songs that spark interest in people.

JY: What themes and ideas does your music convey?

QB: Common rock themes like love and everyday life.

DF: I just do cool bass riffs.

JY: Where does your inspiration come from?

QB: I just like to play guitar.

DF: It’s not complicated. When we come up with something that sounds good, we go with it.

JY: Over time, has your musical style gone through any changes?

DF: Yes. We definitely moved from basic

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

chord progressions; nothing fancy. Then we moved on to more complicated, intricate music. We now work on songs with challenging timing, transitions, and riffs.

But we enjoy playing songs like that.

JY: What are the biggest obstacles for bands?

QB: Practice times. With clubs, sports, and homework, it’s hard to fit in time to practice on top of those things.

DF: But we’ve actually been getting pretty good at practicing efficiently. Recently, we’ve mostly been practicing on the weekends because Quinn is a part of Code Red. This was really tough for us because Quinn’s brother, a brand new drummer, played the drums for this year’s talent show. I was quite impressed with him actually. And because of that, I think we really achieved something.

JY: What advice would you give to fellow bands?

QB: Play what you like to play, not what others like. Don’t worry about pleasing the crowd, because if it sounds good, it’s going to please the crowd. We’re in no way an experienced band, but we know that it’s important to figure out what your band likes to play and can play well. And if you like it, you’ll automatically have a better presence on stage because you’ll be having fun with the music.

JY: Where will you go from here? What goals do you have for the future?

DF: None, really. I do this for fun and I don’t know if I’m ever going to be doing anything musical in the future seriously, but I’d love to keep playing music.

QB: I’ve always dreamed of becoming a musician, but I know that that’s not very likely to happen, which is why I’m going into engineering. But music is a big part of my life and I’ll keep playing music for the sake of playing music.

Favorite artist: Declan: Flea; Quinn: Jack White Favorite ice cream flavor: Both: Chocolate Favorite TV show: Declan: Death Note; Quinn: The Walking Dead ∎

arts

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

Fame Continued from Page 24. the ensemble. Actors such as Erin Hilgartner ’17 and Sofia Boucher ’15 always seemed full of energy and emotion, even when they weren’t the focus of the scene. Their enthusiasm to act as a cog in the machine was unprecedented in my eyes. The blocking, however, could have been better. Blocking refers to the precise movement of actors around the stage—usually when and where they move.

During almost all of the duets, actors wandered the stage right and left, sang some, seemed remorseful, and came in for a kiss at the end.

Calling this practice cookiecutter might be overdoing it, but it definitely left me wanting more variety. Parts of the songs felt like they were dragging as well, but their qual-

31

IMAGE by fatima sowe

’17’s risqué performance of “Gay or European” in Legally Blonde was topped this year

by Matthew Skrovan ’17’s rendition of “Can’t Keep It Down”, a hilarious song all about his character’s constant erection. There was a musical inside a musical during the second act, a concept I had seen in productions like Curtains or Deathtrap and have dubbed “musiception”. Furthermore, the range of actors featured in Fame was more diverse than what I had seen in previous R2P productions, and this variety was greatly appreciated.

The choreography of Fame held my attention but was still lacking in some parts. The dance numbers were amazing, and I especially appreciated the attention to detail in

February 2015

IMAGE by george cannon

Elisheva Glaser ’16 as Serena Katz in Fame.

State Theatre Marquee.

ity always changed my mind, with belty songs from actresses such as Lisa Podulka ’16 and Jewell Payne ’15.

R2P’s Fame was a brilliant production, the cream of the crop of youth theater in Tompkins County. I’m not saying that things couldn’t be improved, but they did a spectacular job, especially with the lack of actor payments this season. “This show has been the most challenging yet the most rewarding experience of my life,” Ilana Wallenstein ’16, lead of the musical, told me after the curtains went down.

On the walk home, I could see the traces of Fame in the community. I saw tired actors shake the slush off their boots and pay for CTB sandwiches.

I saw seniors having their picture taken on the streets of downtown, perhaps getting a headshot to use for college.

I saw Jarett Powers smiling as he walked onto the Commons, discussing the musical with friends. Productions like Fame have a significant impact on the local culture, and I’m proud to know people who inspire such change. ∎

32

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

February 2015

Athlete Feature: Richie Burke

By JACY HOLLANDER

IMAGE provided

sports

Team Feature: Girls’ Hockey

Due to their determination, the girls’ hockey team has enjoyed an overall successful win record.

By NICK BOGEL-BURROUGHS IMAGE provided

Richie Burke, champion of IHS wrestling.

Upstate New York has been a hotbed for young wrestlers recently. Even locals who have never watched a wrestling match have heard of Kyle Dake, the Ithaca native who won two New York State championships while wrestling for Lansing High School. That is, before he won four National Titles for Cornell and was named Sports Illustrated Male College Athlete of the Year.

While IHS has not been home to the kind of success that Dake enjoyed, there are wrestlers who are excelling Continued on Page 34.

With Cornell’s historic prowess on the ice, it’s no surprise that ice hockey is arguably our city’s most well-known sport. IHS clearly reflects Ithaca’s love of the sport; the Little Red varsity boys’ team is well publicized, and its games are almost always well attended. However, most know very little about IHS’s other hockey team; that’s right—the varsity girls’ team.

Four years ago, the girls’ team defied all odds to climb to the top of the league and earn the title of state champions. Since then, the team has had very little attention from the media. The team is by no means upset by the lack of coverage—they choose to focus on gaining the title of state champions once again, attending rigorous practices and games nearly every day of the week. Due to their determination, girls’ hockey has enjoyed an overall successful win record.

According to team captain Zsofia Szegletes ’15, the team’s most impressive win was at the “Pink at the Rink” breast cancer fund-raiser game against Massena. Although the team was short-benched, they managed an exciting 3–2 overtime win.

“I just kept thinking of last year, when we were missing so many of our players and they beat us pretty badly. This time, we did an amazing job keeping up. I’m not sure if that was our greatest success, but it felt pretty great,” said Szegletes.

Though the team managed to win against Massena with only ten players (barely more than half its full roster), issues have frequently arisen from the absence of key team members. The majority of the players are part of other teams not associated with the school, which often causes them to miss varsity games and practices.

Szegletes admits that this has been a significant obstacle to the team’s success.

“We’ve had to accommodate for changing lines because of different girls at each of the games.”

However, she also believes that overcoming this obstacle has strengthened the team.

“Since not everyone is able to be there, I think we’ve become good at being flexible. And when the whole team is there, we just feel so complete!”

Next year, the team will be losing four of its players, including Captain Szegletes. But most of the remaining players are sophomores or younger, and will be returning for several more seasons. Be sure to keep an eye on them in the following years as they strive to maintain their win record and make their school proud. ∎

sports

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

February 2015

IHS Soccer Recap

By YAFET ANDEMARIAM

33

IMAGE provided

Andrea Bargnani Is the Epitome of the NYK Roster

By THEO COWETT

For the first time in more than thirty years, the Ithaca boys’ soccer team has reached the finals for the state championships.

Ithaca boys’ varsity soccer opened their season with a 7–1 win over Binghamton and has been flying ever since. The team is coached by Gilbert Antoine, who is known for teaching members to “propel” and “release” the ball in order to create chances for themselves. Ithaca then captured a 3–0 win at Elmira, with Salko Camo ’15’s long-range goal being the highlight of the game. The team’s first game of the season against Horseheads resulted in a loss, however, with consistent left-back Connor Bonniwell ’15 sent off along with a Horseheads player. Ithaca was somewhat robbed in the game against Horseheads, as the referee failed to spot obvious fouls.

Examples include failing to give a penalty to Ithaca after a Horseheads player kept pulling Amir Eldin-Omar ’15 in the box, to the point where Omar had his pants pulled down by the Horseheads defender.

Ithaca retaliated with a 1–0 win against Union-Endicott and a 2–0 win against Vestal. Luc Sinon ’15 scored the team’s fastest goal in history against Vestal, and Camo sealed the victory with a header in the same half. This was followed by a loss against Corning Rand, with Ithaca suffering a 3–0 defeat on Corning’s unusual field. Ithaca bounced back and defeated Binghamton, Maine-Endwell, and Union-Endicott again by large margins. When Bonniwell and the Little Red met Horseheads again, they put Horseheads to the sword with a 4–1 scoreline. In another game, Vestal led Ithaca by one goal until Ithaca’s Tristan Cornell-Roberts ’16 equalized the score. Unfortunately, Vestal scored again when the ball ricocheted off a player’s knee, ending the game with a final score of 2–1 in their favor.

Ithaca got back up after beating Elmira and followed up with an amazing performance against Corning when it mattered most: on Senior Night.

Omar, Bonniwell, Luc Sinon, Will Strominger, Jean Sinon, Hammy Allport, Nicholas Cancalosi-Dean, Max Gaeta, Elmedin Hasani, Ben Vanderlan, and Danny “The Italian Stallion” Stagliano—all seniors—started in the game against Corning, and won 7–1 in a triumphant fashion. Ithaca qualified for the STAC competition and managed to beat Johnson City Continued on Page 34.

Even as we near the All-Star break, few, if any, positives have emerged from the New York Knicks following their 8–37 start. Although the 2014–2015 Knicks roster wasn’t expected to achieve anything drastic, many people, including me, didn’t think it would be this bad.

The Knicks roster is full of players who have never reached their potential, have suffered a multitude of injuries, or have been acquired in trades that failed to benefit the team. A perfect example of this is Andrea Bargnani, the seven-foot-tall Italian who was drafted first overall by the Toronto Raptors in 2006. He has struggled through many injuries, mostly to his knees and ankles. Before, the Knicks gave up Steve Novak (who was one of the National Basketball League’s premier shooters and a key role-player), a couple aging veterans, a first-round draft pick in 2016, and one second-round draft pick in both 2014 and 2017. Bargnani had just gone through his worst season statistically, and was out nearly half the year with various injuries. Nevertheless, the Knicks traded for him, thinking that they could one day shape him into the player the Raptors had hoped he would be: a power forward who could spread the floor with his threepoint capabilities.

Although this was a great idea in theory, Bargnani has failed to impact the Knicks in his time sporting orange and blue. Bargnani played in just 42 of 81 games last year due to injuries, and this year appears to be no different; he has played only two games the entire season, having spent the majority of his time dealing with a strained right calf, and is due $11.5 million this year alone. To put Bargnani’s injury troubles in perspective, in Bargnani’s eight seasons in the NBA, he has missed a total of 179 games, while LeBron James has missed just 23 games in 11 years (not including playoffs).

Continued on Page 34.

34

February 2015

sports

ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO TATTLE

Andrea Bargnani Continued from Page 33.

IMAGE provided

Players brought in through poor deals, players who fail to live up to their potential, and players whose careers have been marred by injuries have hindered the Knicks over the last several years. In the future, however, there is hope: with a new GM and president in Phil Jackson, the Knicks have someone who knows how to win and can create a roster that can compete for a championship in the future.

For now, however, there is nothing to do but wait for the summer of 2015. With free agents such as LaMarcus Aldridge, Marc Gasol, and Kawhi Leonard eligible to be signed this summer, along with the Knicks’ $30 million in cap room, the Knicks roster should look a lot better come the end of August 2015. ∎

Andrea Bargnani: not a bargain.

Soccer Recap Continued from Page 33.

Richie Burke Continued from Page 32.

in the semifinals 2–1, with a clinical finish from Luc Sinon and a terrific volley from Pierre Clavel ’16. This victory opened up a home STAC final against Vestal. Ithaca was no doubt hungry for vengeance against Vestal, and scored three goals to win the STAC competition. Ithaca then won the Section 4 sectional playing Corning on a chilly morning, beating them with the help of a lone golden goal by Phyo Htet ’17.

More recently, Ithaca cruised into the “final four” of the state championships after beating John Jay, with magnificent goals from Clavel and Andrew Araneo ’16. Looking to win states, Ithaca went up against Fairport in the semifinals but unfortunately bowed out of the competition with an unlucky 2–1 defeat. Fairport scored a goal right before and right after the interval. Htet scored a header from a rebound off the cross bar, but could not get another shot past the Fairport goalkeeper. Fairport succumbed in the final to Cormatt, the clear underdog of the match, losing 2–0.

Though Ithaca lost, it’s been more than 30 years since they last reached the final four, and the team only seems to be improving. With juniors like Clavel, Roberts, Mason Wolfe, and Jared Brooks returning next year and with sophomores such as Htet and Alex Patz breaking into the lineup, Ithaca might just bring the state trophy back home. Juniors Araneo, Eric Denbow, Gabe Miller, Jay Reynolds, Sohrab Memar, Ali Mohammadi, Parker Hay, Aidan Evans, and Rory Simpson also hope to develop into key players next season.

The team has won five titles this year, including sectionals, sub-regionals, regionals, STAC, and the semi-finalists trophy from states. Hearts will be on fire next season for the Ithaca varsity soccer team. ∎

in their weight classes and plan to carry that momentum into college.

Richie Burke ’15, whose overall record consists of 204 wins and only 35 defeats, is one of two wrestlers in IHS history to accumulate over two hundred wins.

This year, he won both the 58th Annual Windsor Christmas Tournament and the Penfield Tournament. He has been wrestling since he was four years old, and began wrestling for the varsity team in seventh grade.

To Burke, the most difficult matches are against “kids who have wrestled for as long as I have.” Despite the risk of injury and the sore muscles after practice, Burke told me “wrestling is a passion because of how hard it is. I love the challenge. No one else can help me when I’m wrestling.”

Burke told me he plans to wrestle in college. As for the future of IHS wrestling, Burke said, “we have a young team full of great kids, with lots of potential growth for the future.” ∎

Penultimate

What Type of Valentine’s Day Flower Are You?

By AN EXPERT IN LOVE

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and nothing is more synonymous with this beloved holiday than flowers.

It is thus regrettable that flowers, in this day and age, have come to be associated less with raw beauty and more with decision-making of the most vile nature: Shall it be the classic carnation or the decorous daffodil? The lovely lavender or the handsome hibiscus?

Fear not, dearest reader! Fortunately for you, yours truly has assembled this diagnostic assessment, which will aid you in identifying—with astounding precision— which Valentine’s Day flower your inner spirit resonates best with.

1. What first comes to mind when you hear “Valentine’s Day”? a. Every day is Valentine’s Day to me! b. Love! Eternal, glorious, rapturous love! c. “Valentine’s Day” is an anagram of “A Navel Destiny”, whatever that means. . .. d. Pft . . . holidays are for the feebly sentimental only.

2. The first film you saw on a date with your significant other most resembled a. Frozen b. Pride and Prejudice c. Her d. Fifty Shades of Grey 3. It’s Friday evening and you and your significant other have a free weekend ahead. What do you do? a. Canoe down Cayuga Lake, explore Danby State Forest, and hope to befriend a talking racoon and a willow tree. b. Fly to Venice, where you will travel by gondola only and spend evenings beneath unadulterated starry nights. c. The Sims 3 all day, every day! d. Watch the last season of Dexter

again. And again. And again.

4. The best place to have a romantic dinner is . . . a. Anywhere, as long as you give me fried spiders. b. Any establishment in possession of at least two Michelin stars should satisfy. c. At home, where we can safely experiment with baking soda grenades without serious consequence. d. It’s common knowledge that a meal plan based on McDonald’s foodstuffs is both economically sustainable and nutritionally satisfactory.

5. Music? a. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. b. Chariots of Fire is most excellent. c. Mozart is quite adequate, but I’ve always preferred the complex polyrhythmic and contrapuntal nature of Bach. d. It is well known that listening to Nickelback for prolonged periods of time may bolster one’s physiological and psychological resilience.

6. Your significant other has just received an F on a calculus quiz and appears sad.

What do you do? a. Keep on smiling at him or her until he or she smiles back. Laughter is the best medicine, after all. b. Look over the paper. For each X, give him or her a kiss. For each 0%, a hug. c. Prove to him or her mathematically that such a grade will have an infinitesimally small, statistically insignificant effect on his or her semester grade. d. If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Likewise, if my significant other is sad and I pretend not to notice, is he or she in actuality sad?

7. The best way to break up is: a. “We can still be friends . . . right?

Right?” b. Pen an extended missive reminiscing on each and every memorable experience you have shared and tragically expounding, in tragic terms, the tragic necessity of your tragic separation. c. Facebook. Clean. Elegant. Efficient.

What more could you ask for? d. [Demonstrates talk-to-the-hand] Results: Mostly As: Sunflower. Cool, explorative, fun-loving, you are as sunny as a sunflower. Each tilt of your shining countenance delivers sunshine and smiles to whomever you happen to see, and you generously grace the ground with seeds of optimism wherever you go. The world could use more people like you.

Mostly Bs: Rose. You are the apotheosis of the Romantic, the natural reincarnation of Juliet, Byron, Austen, Tchaikovsky, and the like. What you lack in sense is excused by your truly voluminous capacity for sensibility. Your bosom contains more room for warm and fuzzy sentiments than the hearts of ten Cupids combined do. The world could use more people like you.

Mostly Cs: Lotus. You are rational, refined, intelligent. You are the guy who always forms such words as “syzygy” in Scrabble, the one who prefers solving sphere-packing conundrums to playing billiards, the only one among your friends who truly understands the behavior of the Navier-Stokes family in hyperspace. The world could use more people like you.

Mostly Ds: Dandelion. Need I elaborate? ∎

the

backpage Horoscopes

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Like Abraham Lincoln, you will grow a beard because an eleven-year-old girl told you to.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20): Like George W. Bush, you will be the captain of a high-school cheerleading squad.

Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19): Like Herbert Hoover, you will one day own two pet alligators.

switches because of your electrophobia.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Like Woodrow Wilson, your face will be printed on the $100,000 bill.

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22): Like Andrew Jackson, you will conquer not only Nicholas Biddle and the Bank of the United States, but also a 1400-pound block of cheese.

Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20): Like Thomas Jefferson, you will one day drop $233 million on a purchase.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22): Like Chester Arthur, you will get four marriage offers in one day because of your impeccable style.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Like Benjamin Harrison, you will be too scared to turn on your own light

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22): Like John Quincy Adams, you will enjoy skinny dipping in the early morning.

2

3

9

4

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): Like Zachary Taylor, you will die from eating cherries and/or drinking milk (RIP).

“Sick Beats” ©TSwift2015

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): Like Theodore Roosevelt, you will become Mr. Thompson’s favorite historical figure of all time.

Second-semester seniors

Winterrrr brrr

5

6 9 3

Solutions to December’s Sudoku 1

9

4

5

8

6

2

4

9

2

6

8

7

3

1

5

6

5

8

3

1

2

7

4

9

1

2

5

4

6

3

9

8

7

7

3

4

8

5

9

1

2

6

9

8

6

2

7

1

4

5

3

5

4

7

1

9

6

2

3

8

8

6

3

7

2

4

5

9

1

2

1

9

5

3

8

6

7

4

8

Broken New Year’s resolutions

5 3

7

2

5

9

3

Winter Formal

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): Like William Taft, you will find yourself stuck in the White House bathtub.

4

3

Mr. Trumble’s beard

6

8

7

9

3

You

4

Keystone Pipeline (not the beer)

7

9

8 7 1

4

7

9

2

6