February 2017 • Estd. 1892 • Vol.124 #6 • Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com Ithaca High School, 1401 North Cayuga Street, Ithaca, NY 14850 • FREE
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
OPINIONS ON
THE BEST
VALENTINE’S DAY
page 5
page 7
page 12
COLLEGE AND CAREER SERVICES
THING ON NETFLIX
TIPS FOR SUCCESS
By EMMA KARNES
By KARINA BURBANK
IMAGE BY KARINA BURBANK
Code Red Robotics Build Season Begins
IMAGE BY DEBORAH LYNN
Women March for Rights and Respect
A sea of “nasty women” (and men) in Washington.
Code Red members show a young attendee of last year’s Code Red Robotics Open House how to drive a robot.
Down every side street, women and men clad in pink “pussyhats” shuffled forward to join the already overflowing mass of people marching down Pennsylvania Avenue. Their waving signs proclaimed messages of female empowerment and anti-Trump slogans. The hats themselves, normal knitted hats except for two ear-shaped points at the top, referenced Trump’s 2005 comment: “grab [women] by the pussy.” However, as evidenced by the faces of determined and confident women wearing them, the hats also represented unapologetic female power and pride. In 673 cities worldwide, people took to the streets to exercise this power and pride in response to the election and inauguration of Donald Trump. In Wash-
Code Red Robotics’ Build Season has officially begun! Code Red Robotics is a student-run club at IHS and one of 3,000+ teams that compete in the high-school division of FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology). Each year, FIRST releases a game-like challenge for all high-school robotics teams in the world, which have six weeks to build a 120-pound robot to compete in the game. Last year, Code Red Robotics won a regional competition and an award that gave them a NASA grant. This qualified them to compete in the World Championships, where Code Red was ranked among the top two percent of teams. On Saturday, January 7, FIRST released the parameters for this year’s challenge: FIRST Steamworks. The challenge was live-streamed and a 150-page manual was released describing the details of the game. Watch a short animation of this year’s game here: https://goo.gl/dNG9CY
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OPINION
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THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
Editorial
Staff 2016 – 2017 Editor-in-Chief
Daniel Xu ’17
editor@ihstattler.com
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Give Humanities More Attention Many high-school students are at a delicate point of uncertainty and determination: some may still struggle to find a clear direction in life, while others commit to the paths that they have set before them. For both these groups, allowing individuals to focus on their developing interests and passions is essential as they prepare for college or the workforce. Especially in humanities subjects, mandatory courses can often seem overly broad, with little opportunity to focus on a particular topic of interest. For students that want to specialize in particular subjects, electives are available but often limited. This combined with the fact that a typical student is able to only take one or two electives a year makes it difficult to decide which ones to take. IHS should focus on allowing students to participate in specialized electives throughout their entire highschool career rather than just limit it to their junior or senior years. Humanities students in particular face inherent disadvantages in course options due to many reasons, one being the imposed statewide regulations. High-school students are required by law to take four credits each of English and Social Studies, and several specific courses must be taken by everyone (for instance, Global 1 and 2, Economics, and Participation in Government). These mandatory courses introduce a few drawbacks, though, especially with how hard it becomes to offer electives. This can especially be seen in the first two years of high school: all underclassmen must take, among others, a language course, the aforementioned global history classes, and a Regents-based English class, leaving them with little if any opportunity to pursue courses of specific interest to them. With STEM courses (those concerning science, technology, engineering, or mathematics), this issue is circumvented through a large variety of science courses that can be followed exactly as a student wishes. Humanities courses have a more rigid curriculum path, as all courses are mainly presented in a way to prepare for the Regents exams. The extra electives already offered to students only create more problems. Ludi Augustine, a Social Studies teacher at IHS, commented on the limitations that arise from these requirements: “If we didn’t have those statutes in place, the school could afford to add in other courses such as anthropology, philosophy… Yes, we do have courses in psychology and human geography, but only at an
AP level. People without experience or those that don’t want to take the test would have a hard time fitting into those classes.” This leads to yet another problem: the extra electives already offered don’t allow all students to easily take part in them. With IHS’s policy requiring any students taking an AP course to take the corresponding test, these electives fail to attract anyone who is interested in a particular subject or simply wants to learn something new without having to suffer through additional standardized testing. The threat of having to take a test at the end of a course often makes people reluctant to take different courses regardless of interest. Again, STEM classes solve this problem by dividing courses into different skill levels. A student interested in computer science, for example, can easily take Programming 1 and 2 if they don’t feel ready to jump into the AP class. Implementing a similar plan for all subjects would be a simple way to engage more students and increase the diversity of courses. One method to enhance course diversity and maintain student interest early on in their high school career could be borrowed from a program already implemented with great success at IHS. Project Lead the Way, or PLTW, is a popular program among STEM-oriented students that teaches a variety of topics, starting from basic engineering techniques and design in freshman year and gradually moving up to increasingly complex subjects such as circuit design and programming. In their senior year, students form groups and work on funded projects that focus on technical problems and address real life problems. Humanities courses could also be implemented in a similar manner but allow students to focus on new subjects every year. For instance, all students involved in this program would take a basic writing course their freshman year, but then be allowed to choose more focused paths. Eventually these classes would culminate in a final senior project, such as allowing students to write their own novel for creative writing. As long as students show that they are clearly qualified to apply to courses outside of what is required, they should not be limited by a lack of electives. The best way for students to develop their interests in an effective manner is to let them take part in specialized courses rather than overly broad curricula that teach how to write a Regents-style essay and nothing else.
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
OPINION
PAGE 3
Editorial
On Teaching Good Writing If you look through any published essay collection, you won’t see a single piece that even remotely resembles what students are taught in high school. The notion of an introduction, three to five body paragraphs, and a conclusion is reduced to a barebones model, if not completely abandoned, by any writer with the slightest inkling of what constitutes “good” writing. This is not to say that there is no such thing as a compelling paper that follows this model, and papers that veer from this course are not all brilliant. Indeed, there is merit to teaching the formulaic “keyhole” method of writing essays. However, students will never be able to write well if that is the only style of writing they encounter in a classroom, and this is where English education at IHS falls short; students are not taught to write well, and it is costing them. There are many different ways to integrate good writing into English curricula, aside from trashing the “keyhole” essay format as soon as possible. The best way to do this is to introduce students to successful essays. There is a reason authors like David Foster Wallace and George Orwell are able to influence millions of people with their compositions. Exposing students to the best expositional writing and explaining what makes it exemplary is essential to engineering excellent essayists. In addition, there are key strategies that are often glossed over or not taught at all, such as the adage “show, not tell,” that should have a stronger presence at earlier stages in a student’s English education. It is worth expounding the advantages of the current system, which mainly involves exposing students to the conventional essay format. Presenting essays, which can be daunting to many students, by breaking them down into their component parts makes writing them easier to learn. The importance of writing a strong thesis statement cannot be understated, and that is one of the things that the English Department does very well, drilling the three-part thesis statement ad nauseam. Additionally, exposing all students to a uniform template allows teachers to focus on other concepts, such as grammar and fluency, when editing students’ submissions. Finally, knowledge of the basic essay format is crucial in doing well on standardized tests—though this is not really an advantage, it is worth keeping in mind when discussing what the school can do about teaching writing. However, the problem with the way teachers currently use the aforementioned structure is that it is never phased out, as it should be, because it is simply not good writing. No one is expected to write well in middle school, and that is one of the main reasons why the “keyhole” essay is a useful tool there. Nevertheless, it seems that many high schools—IHS included—do not emphasize good writing when choosing their curricula. Perhaps this is understandable; it is harder to teach good writing, and therefore there is no incentive for the system to change. At some point, though, it is necessary for teachers to shift strategies. This is because writing is extremely important in all facets of life, and learning how to write well in high school bestows a great advantage upon every student. Writing is one of the only skills that transcends career paths entirely; while it may be obvious that future journalists and authors need a mastery of the English language, everyone else needs it as well. Aspiring business leaders must be able to write compellingly if they want that first internship, for example, and even engineers and researchers need
to be able to write cogently to get grants, or simply communicate their ideas to others. This means that, when the high school fails to adequately teach students how to write well, they are failing the entire student body, forcing them to put in their own time in order to gain a basic life skill. One particularly alarming side effect of this deficiency pertains to a task that almost all seniors have to suffer through: college applications. Perhaps the most crucial aspect of the entire application is the personal essay, coupled with supplements for many schools. An essay that follows the standards that may have earned an A in freshman year English class will absolutely not cut it for college apps. Admissions officers may read dozens of essays in a day. Therefore, it is the applicant’s task to write something interesting and engaging that will actually show the officer why you are a good fit for the college. Essays that follow the conventional format, especially with no added insight on what constitutes good writing, can hardly ever achieve these goals. Showing an interesting story or vignette, though, and using that as a vehicle to communicate certain values or personal strengths, is much more compelling than anything overly explicit. In all likelihood, the number of IHS students that get into top-tier colleges, or even just top-choice or “reach” schools, would surely increase if good writing were promoted to a greater extent. The way writing is taught at IHS falls short of what should be expected of the student body, and what will be expected of students once they encounter the real world. The principal failure is the overemphasis of the formulaic essay, whether that manifest itself as the five-paragraph “keyhole” essay or a premade outline that students are forced to follow in order to receive a good grade on a paper. This hinders the exploration of examples of well-constructed essays in class, and distracts from many of the true goals of writing. Students cannot be expected to write successfully if they are not being given the whole picture of what comprises a well-written essay. On the other hand, schools should be expected to provide that picture to every student, and that means providing students with real-world examples of outstanding writing and relevant tips that can actually be applied outside of the Regents or Common Core.
The Tattler is the monthly student-run newspaper of Ithaca High School. All currently-enrolled students at Ithaca High School are welcome to submit writing and photographs. As an open forum, The Tattler invites opinion submissions and letters to the editor from all community members. Email submissions to editor@ihstattler.com or mail letters to: The Tattler 1401 North Cayuga Street Ithaca, NY 14850 Send submissions by February 8 to be included in the March issue. The Tattler reserves the right to edit all submissions. All articles, columns, and advertisements do not necessarily reflect the views of editorial staff. To read The Tattler online, visit our website at www.ihstattler.com.
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THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
NEWS
Cuomo Proposes Free SUNY Tuition By BENJAMIN SALOMON
IMAGE FROM THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE
A college education is one of the most expensive financial endeavors of people’s lives. People pay thousands, even hundreds of thousands of dollars just for undergraduate education. Paying this kind of money puts most families and students in debt, digging them into a hole that they need to try and climb out of. On January 3, Governor Andrew Cuomo proposed the Excelsior Program, which would offer eligible New York residents free tuition to all SUNY and CUNY schools. Cuomo proposed the plan in his State of the State speech in an attempt to get more college-age individuals to get a degree and a higher education.
Bernie Sanders (I-VT) and Gov. Cuomo have high hopes for free public college.
Governor Cuomo believes that having a college education is a necessity in today’s economy. In fact, the NYS Labor Department has data showing that within the next seven years, 3.5 million new jobs will require at least an associate’s degree. He believes that the financial burden that college can pose is large enough that it prevents people from getting a higher-level education. “A college education is not a luxury—it is an absolute necessity for any chance at economic mobility, and with these first-in-the-nation Excelsior Scholarships, we’re providing the opportunity for New Yorkers to succeed, no matter what zip code they come from and without the anchor of student debt weighing them down,” Cuomo said. With this proposed plan, Cuomo hopes that more lower-income students will attend college and get degrees, which would enable them to get higher-paying jobs and achieve financial security. The cost of an in-state SUNY education has increased over the past decade from about $13,000 a year to around $25,000, contributing to student debts. Senator Bernie Sanders ran his presidential campaign on the idea that he would seek to lower the over $1.2 trillion outstanding student loan debt by providing lower college tuitions, which generated immense praise from college-aged voters. Sanders was present when Cuomo proposed the bill and spoke out about his support for the plan. As for the plan itself, Cuomo released his $152 billion state budget on January 17, which set aside $163 million for free SUNY
tuition for eligible students. Cuomo outlined a plan that will take three years to implement, meaning that households that make $100,000 or less could be eligible for free tuition during the first year after the plan is approved, those that make $110,000 or less could be eligible the second year, and those that make $125,000 eligible by the third year. Cuomo said, “This is about helping the middle class… They’ve gotten hit on every front, and the government that’s supposed to help them has become disconnected.” Governor Cuomo estimates that 80 percent of households in New York State make $125,000 or less and would thus be eligible for his plan. A proposal of this magnitude does not arrive without plenty of thought and consideration. Obviously, an upside to the proposal is the fact that people would not have to go into as much, if any, debt from student loans. There will still be expenses, such as food and room and board, among others, but the cost would be much more manageable for low-income households, many of which are minority as well. Cuomo hopes to diversify college campuses and the future workforce and believes that, by reducing the financial strain on lower- and middle-class families, college would be more accessible for students who may not have gone to college due to the costs. “It’s like starting a race with an anchor tied to your leg,” Cuomo said. The Excelsior Program has its fair share of doubters. One of the plan’s strongest group of opponents is the private sector of education. Private schools feel that, if state-funded schools lower their tuition, it would create incentives not to attend the private schools. Also, with more enrollment in state schools, the state would need to spend more money to fund salaries, infrastructure, and maintenance of the schools. These costs could increase substantially, as the Cuomo administration projected that state-school enrollment will increase by 10 percent by 2019. Additionally, one of the biggest issues up for debate is the funding. The plan would likely include tax hikes throughout the state, and a government watchdog group called Reclaim New York told The Buffalo News, “You don’t need a college degree to know that nothing is free.’’ The Cuomo administration has not yet released a comprehensive funding plan, and the mystery and uncertainty has even students doubtful. There is also the issue of unequal distribution of financial aid. The New York Times spoke with Katie Montwill, a junior at Stony Brook University. Montwill said that, even though the proposal is “pretty awesome,” she was not sure how the program would be funded or how the tax dollars would be spent, saying “I feel like my parents wouldn’t be for it.” Montwill believed that her parents wouldn’t want their tax dollars funding another student’s education. Even with the legion of unconvinced people, Cuomo has high hopes for the Excelsior Program. Cuomo said that it is a daunting task to defeat student debt and promote diversity and enrollment in colleges, but the impacts of the Program could be immense. With the proposed program, the governor believes that New York could be a “City on the Hill,” setting the bar high in education policy. Sanders shared the belief, saying, “Here’s my prediction: if New York State does it this year, mark my words, state after state will follow.”
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
NEWS
PAGE 5
Opinions on the College and Career Services at IHS By FIONA BOTZ, Staff Writer
As many students are aware, applying to college can be nerve-wracking. Upperclassmen look for guidance from parents, college tutors, and SAT prep courses. However, IHS students may have more at their disposition than they think. The College and Career Services office is designed to help students reach their college goals and achieve their career dreams. In the “Letter from Student Services” on the first page in the College Admissions Handbook, IHS counselors express their enthusiasm to work with students throughout their high-school years to help prepare them for the next phase in their lives. This sounds like promising news, but do the students agree that IHS is doing everything it can to help students with the college admissions process and that counselors are taking the right precautions? In the College and Career Services Office, there are informational catalogs about the college application process for students who are interested. Counselors and staff members aim to assist students by providing them with the information they need to select fitting colleges, find the requirements for applying to those colleges, and get career information. This raises a multitude of questions, based on whether or not students think this method is efficient. Students have differing opinions on how well the College and Career Services Office aids them in the application process. Caelia Thomas ’18, a soccer player, said, “Honestly, for me IHS hasn’t helped a lot with the college process. While they provide the PSAT and SAT prep and such, there is almost a drop-off of help. Unless you take AVID or have something else outside of class, IHS doesn’t really guide you through the application process.” By “drop-off of help,” Thomas meant that students must initiate everything. “Basically, you have to go in to a counselor and ask for help. And even then, it is difficult to find something that really helps other than the standard informational booklet that they give everyone.” Nile Gossa-Tsegaye ’18, a tennis player, said, “I’d say, in terms of the actual academic rigor and extremely wide variety of classes available to students, IHS definitely prepares us well. However, in other aspects like standardized testing, IHS could definitely help students become more proactive and aware.” Hannah Zimar ’17, a star tennis player, said, “The counselors just don’t put any effort to make sure the students are taking the right courses for their individual goals. I talked to an admissions guy from a different school who helps people get into college, and he basically told me I wasn’t taking any of the classes that I should be taking for what I want to do in college. If I had been informed from my sophomore year, I would not have taken the classes I am taking. I also had no idea what to expect from an SAT probably until November of junior year.” Francis Schickel ’16, now a freshman at Notre Dame University, said, “I believe IHS does a great job preparing students for the academic disciplines. I am doing very well with my classes at Notre Dame. There are truly a lot of people in IHS that have the knowledge and know-how on how to complete the Common App. Ms. Amodeo was my AP Lit teacher and she was fully willing to read essays and provide critique. I know IHS also brought in a Cornell University admissions officer to hold seminars on how to organize your essay. However, as a student who was preparing in a multi-
tude of activities in and out of school and was enrolled in many classes that were entirely seniors, I definitely wish there was less homework during some of the major weeks, such as right before we have to submit [applications].” Based on these varying opinions, one cannot generalize IHS students’ thoughts on the college and career services IHS has to offer. While students cannot rely solely on the school when applying to college, it is important for students to have proper and adequate guidance. The general consensus seems to be that there is room for improvement for the College and Career Services Office.
IHS Food Drive: A Success By AURORA WULFF
Link Crew’s annual food drive has come to a close, and it was definitely a success. Mrs. Bergman, an IHS teacher who assisted in the efforts, saw the food drive as a step towards building a stronger community. 1,500 items were donated overall and many went towards helping 20 local families. The rest, a total of 845 cans, went to the Caroline Food Pantry. The IHS community owes thanks to the Link Crew for organizing this event, the staff at IHS, volunteers at the Caroline Food Pantry, and Wegmans. The staff at IHS were responsible for delivering the food to IHS families in need, in addition to giving cash donations, which were used to buy turkeys for these families. Volunteers at the Caroline Food Pantry came to collect the cans and Wegmans donated reusable bags for transporting the food. One teacher in particular was very successful in getting her students to participate: Ms. Carrick, a math teacher. Her classes donated a grand total of 542 cans, over a third of the total food items collected. A mixture of thoughtful messages, extra credit, and friendly competition between her classes led to this accomplishment. This food drive could give us an example of success to follow for many years to come. Who knows? Maybe next year we’ll reach 2,000.
NEWS
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THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
“CODE RED” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
ington D.C., the location of the highest-attended march, it was estimated that over 500,000 marchers came from all over the U.S. Before the march even began, a multitude of speakers went on stage to define the movement and inspire the crowds. One of the first speakers, actress America Ferrera, reminded the crowds that they should not despair. “It has been a heart-wrenching time to be a woman and an immigrant in this country… but the President is not America.” Through deafening cheers, she affirmed what the women and men in crowds stretching back 13 blocks already knew: “We are America.” Other speakers spoke passionately about the need for broader and more intersectional feminism. Janelle Monáe led a song dedicated to African-American victims of police brutality in which the mothers of victims sang their sons’ names, and J. Bob Alotta, executive director of the Astraea Lesbian Foundation for Justice, reminded marchers that what they were participating in was an uprising of radical love. Ithaca held its own Women’s March 10,000 strong, shattering early expectations. Women and men from the community joined on the Commons to take part in the global movement. They marched down Cayuga Street in a wide circle around the downtown area. Many of the same chants could be heard echoing through the streets in Ithaca as in Washington, including “Show me what democracy looks like! This is what democracy looks like!” One IHS sophomore who attended the march said that it reminded her of what a passionate city she lives in. “It was so comforting to know that so many other people have strong emotions about the election,” she said, “and that we’re all in it together.” A woman whom I marched beside in Washington expressed a similar sentiment. We were lightheartedly discussing our aching backs and knees, the result of spending nine hours on our feet, but she grew serious quickly. “Think about our foresisters,” she reminded me. “Just to be able to vote, they were ignored, mocked, jailed, beaten.” Her solemnity was paralleled in the overall atmosphere of the event. Everyone I encountered was friendly and police say there were no instances of violence, but without doubt, people were angry. In the coming days and weeks, President Trump’s words and actions will continue to have bearing on all Americans, both female and male. Having taken place on Trump’s first day in office, the marches reaffirmed the presence of women and the need to protect women’s rights just as Trump begins his presidency. Among other achievements, it certainly sent a bold message to the new president and his administration that women are here, that they’re not going away, and that their lives and issues deserve respect.
The challenge has three main components. First, robots in two teams of three must gather small balls off of the field and shoot them into goals. There is a high goal, which is difficult to access but gives the team more points, and a low goal, which is easy to access but gives fewer points. Teams can also gain points by taking gear-shaped game pieces from the field and moving them to the “airship” construction in the center of the field, which has up to two human players inside it, who then take the “gears” and assemble them to allow the fan-like blade construction to move. When these fans begin to spin, teams earn additional points. In the final 30 seconds of the match, the players on the field release a series of ropes from the “airship,” and robots must quickly ascend the ropes. If they are hanging in the air and pressing a plate at the top of the rope, the team will earn additional bonus points. IMAGE BY KARINA BURBANK
“WOMEN’S MARCH” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
Code Red’s Build Team Manger, Izzy Comella ’17, works with a small group to brainstorm a robot design for this year’s challenge.
The day that the game released marked the beginning of our six-week build season. Students stay after school each weekday for six weeks and work on the robot from 4:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., as well as from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. each Saturday: a total of 30+ hours per week. These six weeks are very intensive for the students, especially on top of normal schoolwork and midterms. Completing the robot wouldn’t be possible without community mentors, who graciously volunteer at IHS during build nights. Mentors help by guiding students, teaching how to use machines and sharing their expertise in engineering design and implementation. Faculty advisors and technology teachers from IHS also lend their expertise to Code Red. Students and mentors will be working tirelessly in the upcoming weeks to complete their challenge. In March, the team will be traveling to two regional competitions, where their robot will compete against other teams from around the world. The public can follow Code Red Robotics on Facebook and Twitter for more frequent updates about the team’s progress. For further information about FIRST, Jr. FIRST Lego League, and Code Red Robotics, please email ikrywe@icsd.k12.ny.us, visit team639.org, or go to firstinspires.org. IMAGE BY KARINA BURBANK
An young visitor to last year’s Code Red Robotics Open House plays with the HexBug Maze.
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
PAGE 7
OPINION
IMAGE PROVIDED
In Defense of Milo Yiannopoulos By ISAIAH GUTMAN, Staff Writer
“This man seemed to be a living paradox, a man suave and well-dressed.”
In the spring of 2016, through the magic of YouTube I discovered a most interesting political “analyst.” This man seemed to be a living paradox, a man suave and well-dressed, speaking eloquently with compelling arguments, at least on the surface. I nearly took a liking to him, swayed by old arguments disguised by flourish. Additionally, there was great intrigue. How could a gay man be both a devout Catholic and a staunch conservative? Eventually, the internet’s most fabulous supervillain proved to be unappealing to me, proving himself ignorant and hateful in an interview with comedian and podcaster Joe Rogan. Soon after, Milo Yiannopoulos became a far more prominent figure after he was banned permanently from Twitter due to a fiasco with Leslie Jones, in which he compared her to a man. Then when Breitbart became a central focus of the presidential election, Hillary Clinton read out loud headlines of articles written by him, notable examples comparing feminism to cancer and stating that birth control causes unattractiveness. So, how could I possibly defend such a maniac? Well, lately, the left has been in a furor over the announcement that Simon and Schuster imprint Threshold Editions will be publishing Milo’s book, Dangerous, which ostensibly is
about free speech from the provocateur. Liberals have been up in arms, demanding the book languish in manuscript hell. While Milo may be a spewer of the lowest of rhetoric, he still deserves a right to free speech, and in my eyes liberals should not be so quick to judge Simon and Schuster. Imagine if Hillary Clinton, who has been published by Simon and Schuster in the past, was denied a deal because she labeled Trump supporters, such as Yiannopoulos, deplorables. The outcry on the left would be deafening. A company such as this will always go out of its way to make money, and that is what they are doing here; the views of Yiannopoulos are only in play as far as they make controversy and attract readers. In fact, liberals seem to be aggravating the situation, as the book has already become a bestseller on Amazon and is sure to attract more buyers now that it is out in the public eye. So here, the moral for liberals is that if you want to protest something as trivial as a book, go ahead, but know that you are only helping the opposition, not furthering your own cause in the least. None of the people who have been alerted that Yiannopoulos is authoring a book and now will not buy it would have bought it in the first place, but I’m sure there are conservatives who are now aware of its existence and will gladly pony up the money for a book from the same imprint that published such heroes as Dick Cheney and Glenn Beck. In the end, Yiannopoulos’s book will sway very few minds, and those who opposed it will forget about it eventually. However, the entire debacle is an indication of the sorry condition some liberals are in, being outraged over a very trivial thing and taking their minds off of real problems in the country. While I will defend the right of all to protest, I also defend the right to express opinions, and for that reason I stand by Simon and Schuster, and to a lesser extent, Milo Yiannopoulos.
The BEST
Thing on Netflix By JACOB SILCOFF, Staff Writer Netflix is like a refrigerator full of food. No matter how many options there are, or how low you may think your standards are, sometimes it feels like there’s nothing you want. I’ve navigated this ocean of mediocrity for hours trying to find that special cinematic gem, often with little success. I’m here to save you from that struggle, for I have recently discovered the best thing on Netflix. For anyone mindlessly clicking past the “because you watched Happy Tree Friends” recommendations list in search of something good to watch, Black Mirror, a British anthology series which has been called the modern Twilight Zone, is both thoroughly entertaining and profoundly impactful. Like The Twilight Zone, each episode is based on a shift in reality, and depicts how some new technology, social hierarchy, or event morphs and twists everyday characters. The themes almost all involve some sort of dystopian future, though each episode is completely different from the last, pulling you into a new world that is drastically different from our own, yet somehow very familiar. The plots feature mind-blowing twists, tragic endings, and will leave you questioning figuratively everything. Each installment provides its own form of social commentary, sometimes more direct than others, though each will leave you thinking in a novel way. In one, the ability to record and replay memories catalyzes a man’s jealousy, while in another, augmented reality is used to create more lethal soldiers. For a true mind blow, I recommend Season 2, Episode 4, while a viewer with a taste for a more subtle experience might enjoy Season 1, Episode 3 or Season 3, Episode 3, both of which do an excellent job depicting a dynamic protagonist who is not quite as you might expect. Black Mirror is by no means light viewing. If you’re looking for something funny or heartwarming or good for the whole family, this show isn’t for you, unless you have a messed up idea of funny, a messed up idea of heartwarming, or a messed up family. But if you’re ready to be thoroughly provoked, you can’t find anything better.
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OPINION
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
This is an Intervention, America By GUS KUCKES
Wake up, America: 2016 is over, long over by now, and you are still not over it, still hungover from that terrible last night when you went home with that sleazy old guy who just told you everything you needed to hear to just feel okay, just for a little while. Well, guess what, America: the world is a frightening place. Talk is in the air of a new Cold War; anxious pundits speak of military exercises on foreign borders, the scramblings of fighter jets, the resurrection of the old techniques of disinformation and character assassination. The pundits nod their heads ominously. Talk is in the air of a new 1940. Ethnic nationalism seems to be on the rise across Eastern Europe, with scary old men like Viktor Orban in Hungary ostentatiously pounding their Christian chests and longing, implicitly or explicitly, for the good old days when people who don’t look like them didn’t dare set foot in their countries. Even Germany could fall, and with it the EU—good old Angela Merkel, one of the loudest proponents of a Europe in which countries cooperate and refugees are people, even if they are colored and Muslim, is at her lowest point in the polls in five years, seemingly because of these liberal positions. What lessons do you think young politicians in Germany take from this? But we are not living in the 40s, and unless you buck up and listen, you will not come out of this stronger, America, unlike that bout of drinking and depression you had in your college years, oh, almost 90 years ago. The world is different now, and I’m afraid to say that a lot of the big ideas that make the history of those times fun to study (if you are fortunate enough to have had a history teacher who makes them fun to study) are simply absent from the world stage today, with an uncomfortable void left in their place. Squint hard and Putin’s Russia looks like the USSR, but read past any of those doomsday headlines, read other articles, and you will eventually find out that the comparison is, well, flawed. Putin’s Russia, unlike the USSR, has never had any higher ideal capable of motivating the masses, but rather subsists on a mix of fear and deception—that as bad as Russian corruption and poverty are, life on the outside is worse. The same goes for the other headliner, China: Maoism is fun, Maoism is great, until you kill millions of people. You can still lie about it though, and some people will still believe it. But what happens when your economy sucks? You loosen up, or at least get off your moral high ground. And so China today, powerful as it is, is simply the work of powerful-seeming men in suits doing whatever they can to keep the masses happy, and the Party remains in power partly through fear and partly through the bare minimum—the faintest shred of a decent life— that it has been able to provide through factory work and effective economic policies to many millions of people who had previously lived in poverty. And so, America, we are fighting a machine. The nightmares that leave us panting, the enemies we find ourselves up against, have not twisted, however crudely, Darwin’s elevated creed. They have not aspired to rob from the rich and give to the poor, in doing so imagining themselves, like any human, the underdog, and deserving of a bountiful part of what’s robbed, but are, more frighteningly, mindless robots, ruthlessly executing their programs of expansion and development until they should collapse under their own weight. The trouble is, for the time being, they don’t seem likely to collapse on their own—whether such a system
as China’s can survive indefinitely without providing its citizens meaningful rights is a question that only time can answer, but China nevertheless stands today proud and ascendant. And so, America, what will we do to conquer the machines, those Russias, those false nationalisms, who have enslaved, and desire nothing more than to enslave, a greater part of humankind? We will hit them where they are weak, of course. We will confuse their algorithmic brains that only understand economic development and production figures with such messy ideas as liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Well, maybe. That seems like a nice happy ending. But the reality that is this would only work if it were not an era in which we are weak as well. Look hard at this election, look hard at this man we decided to sleep with, he who supports torture and admires Putin, and it’s hard to argue that we care that much about those things, those grander things. America is old. America has a lot of skeletons in its closet. But for us, for this most peculiar of nations, ideals are a do-or-die sort of thing—there simply is not a lot that otherwise holds us together. So it’s time that we stop being cynical; it’s time to stop pretending that we have seen it all before. Liberalism is in the midst of an identity crisis and there is no easy way out. It’s going to require a lot of thinking. It’s going to require people who care, who care about politics, who care about the world. So be idealistic, America, and reinvent yourself after this identity crisis of years, with some strong ideas, with some new ideas. For this is the only way we will avoid the sickening process of becoming not a nation, but a cyborg.
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THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
OPINION
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What Triggered Jacob This Month
PAGE 9
Summer Vacation By JACOB SILCOFF, Staff Writer
I can hear it already: “Really Jacob? Summer vacation? Is nothing sacred?” Well, I’m glad you’re catching on, IHS—nothing is sacred, and certainly not your coveted two-month break from homework, insomnia, and those god-awful morning shoutouts. Because just like many archaic traditions, the American summer vacation has miserably failed the test of time, pushing economically disadvantaged students farther behind their peers and leading to a substantial increase in inequality both in school and out, all while causing millions of children to go hungry. Summer vacation exists because back in the 1800s, buildings lacked air conditioning, which I’m sure you can imagine would have been terrible, especially considering what our school can be like on hot summer days even with modern technology. It’s worth noting that dress codes back then were also even stricter than the ones we have now, with these modern rules being the ones I once compared to sharia law (read that article on ihstattler. com). Getting students to come to school, much less pay attention and learn under those conditions, proved to be a challenge, and so summer vacation was born. The tradition of the upper class leaving the city during the summer also contributed to the break, a shocking case of the richest in society influencing government policy. As anyone who has ever been quizzed on trig facts will understand quite well, going for months without using something is a great way to forget it. A review of 39 studies published by the American Educational Research Association found that summer vacation led to a drastic decrease in scholastic performance, noting “that the summer loss equaled about one month on a grade-level equivalent scale.” This was all while middle-class students actually “appeared to gain on grade-level equivalent reading recognition tests,” which meant that the burden of this academic decline was on the shoulders of the poorest students (Sage Publications). A study ran by Karl Alexander, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins, found that poor students actually learn faster during the school year than their upper-class counterparts, but that this progress is completely negated during the summer. This inequality is compounded each year, and by the time students reach high school, the so called “summer slide” can account for more than half of the difference in performance between low-income and high-income students (Politico). If people weren’t so steadfast in their ways, the air conditioner could have been one of the greatest social equalizers of all time. More directly, lack of access to subsidized food further en-
courages inequality, causing many students in food insecure households to go hungry. Of the 21.7 million children receiving free or reduced lunch, only four million are aided by the USDA’s summer food program, leaving over 17 million of them to face undernourishment (CNN). This is exacerbated by the fact that working parents, especially those who have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet, will have to find some way of supervising their children when deprived of subsidized child care, which might not always be possible. There may be some out there that just don’t care about the poor, and that’s fine. For those of you who dread the idea of giving up this sweet release from the monotony of our education system, I submit the following replacement: we take the days we currently get off during the summer and space them out during the year. If you do the math, it equates to roughly a day a week, with some left over. Therefore, I think it would be best that instead of summer vacation, students would have Wednesdays off. Having a day in the middle of the week to catch up on sleep, homework, and social life would increase the morale and health of students, while also providing additional time for homework (which theoretically would not increase in quantity, given that the same amount of material would be covered in a year). Students would switch to new classes after Regents week, meaning they would have the same amount of time to prepare for tests as usual, but spread over a greater period of time. Retention of material would be substantially higher and classes could have more continuity from year to year to prevent relearning the same material every year—I’m looking at you, metric system in science classes. I was going to include a list of other examples in the parenthetical, but it was so lengthy that I decided to go with a full-on bulleted list of cases where students get taught the exact same thing many years in a row: • The distinction between observation and inference • The definition of density • The scientific method/how to write a hypothesis • How to write a thesis statement • How to use basic measurement tools like a ruler, thermometer, and graduated cylinder • Literary devices The point is, even if you don’t care about social inequity or child malnourishment, getting rid of summer vacation has something to offer for you.
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THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
FEATURES
Student Feature: Jacob Silcoff IMAGE BY DAVID SHENG
By DAVID SHENG
Silky J poses for the camera.
While a Hall Monitor was regrettably not created for this issue, Jacob Silcoff ’17 (also known as “Silky J”), known for his controversial column What Triggered Jacob This Month (WTJTM), was gracious enough to answer some tough questions in reference to his role in The Tattler. David Sheng ’19: Is porn educational? Jacob Silcoff: Of course not. But pizza also isn’t educational, and my ability to use the Internet isn’t restricted so that the district can stop students from eating pizza.
DS: Do you ever get tired of being right? JS: As my friend Jamie Lovette ’17 once said, “It gets kind of boring sometimes. You need someone to compete with.” But in all seriousness, it would be great for some people to write counterarguments to WTJTM. For the most part, I don’t, strictly speaking, believe the stuff I write in WTJTM—it’s about starting a discussion by providing a perspective that people don’t
usually think about. I write opinions that I think are interesting or worth sharing, not necessarily ones I personally have.
DS: What are you doing with your hair? JS: Does it look like I’m doing something with my hair?
DS: What would happen if you had a conversation with a clone of yourself? JS: Once we finished complimenting each other’s stunning good looks and incredible intellect, we’d probably just go back and forth agreeing about how stupid various things were.
DS: What is Taiwan? JS: Everything good about China without the dictatorship, internet censorship, or terrible pollution—there still is some pollution, it’s just not as bad. DS: What is good about China? JS: It pisses off Trump, which is wonderful.
And it gives me license to shut down SJWs [Social Justice Warriors] afraid of cultural appropriation. Where else would Korea and Japan derive the entirety of their culture?
DS: Have you played frisbee in the quad before? JS: No. I’m the reason gym teachers don’t use a captain system to pick teams.
DS: What is the meaning of life? JS: This is one of those stupid questions that never made any sense to me. What is the meaning of celery? Not like what is celery, but what does it mean? What is the significance of celery? What is the point of celery? Soon I’m gonna have to invent some sort of crazy celery theology to start answering these nonsensical questions, and then that theology will inevitably fracture as people disagree on random things and people will kill each other over it.
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
FEATURES
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The Case for Linux
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Computer operating systems such as Windows and Mac are familiar to most computer users, dominating the market. Over the course of time, they have become household names. However, there is a free operating system (OS) that has been left underappreciated in the incessant rush to commercialize computer systems and software. Have you heard about Linux? Linux is free, which in theory acts to benefit Linux and its reputation. The downside of this lack of a price tag, however, is that it contributes to Linux being dismissed—whether explicitly or not—as pointless, hard to use, buggy, lacking commercial software, and impractical. Nothing could be further from the truth. Linux is an excellent personal OS, and I’d like to tell you why. So what is Linux? The “Li-” in Linux comes from the inventor’s name, Linus Torvalds, while the “-nux” refers to a Unix-like operating system, the grandfather of the Linux system that Linux modernizes and borrows fairly heavily from. Linux was almost entirely developed as a free and generous open-source project, and it remains so to this day. An open-source project is one that shows its inner workings in the form of code to the public rather than milking customers for cold hard cash, as is done with a proprietary system.
The Linux logo featuring its mascot, Tux the penguin.
Mac and Windows are heavily-advertised products manufactured by big corporations that over time have given them not just market share, but name-brand power. They are, in a practical sense, ubiquitous in the general-consumer market. If we consider them default operating systems (as they often come wrapped in new computers) it is because of their immense advertising, corporate connections, and promotion budgets. After all, who hasn’t seen ads created by these mega-corporations at some point, whether on television or browsing the Internet? Take a second to ponder whether or
By RYAN CUNNINGHAM, Staff Writer
not you may have viewed a professionally done Linux commercial. The end result of Linux not charging money for the operating system, and thus not having money to advertise with, is that two omnipotent behemoths dominate the market and push aside the ignored third player, which also happens to make a high-quality product. Keep in mind that there are more than three systems if you wish to include OSes—such as the “BSDs”—which have an even lower market share than Linux. The immense market shares (partially owing to the fat advertising budgets) of Windows and Mac is a large contributing factor that further perpetuates the widespread awareness of the existence of the giant two corporations. Linux could actually be ideal for many users because it has many perks, even for everyday usage. One of the largest upsides of Linux is being able to customize nearly any aspect of your system as you wish, with the user both being able to download many alternatives and being able to extensively customize most of what they currently have installed. Want to display myriad statistical information on the performance of your computer and the temperature of its components, the weather forecast, the temperature, your current Wi-Fi speed, and more all on your home desktop? Just get the application “Conky” or one of its alternatives. Or perhaps you want to drastically modify your desktop and its layout—much more than you could on Windows? Just change up your window manager—in a basic sense, the desktop that you operate in, which is not to be mistaken for a desktop wallpaper. For example, if you want to be more efficient with your screen space and your multitasking—and are willing to take the initiative—you can just go ahead and swap your window manager out with a “tiling one” like i3 or Awesome, one designed to minimize wasted screen space! Linux has a plethora of separate editions—called “distros” (shorthand for distributions) or “flavors” by the community. Distributions of Linux tend to be maintained and updated by independent teams of freelancers, though there are some corporate teams as well. Popular distributions include Ubuntu, a user-friendly and beginner-friendly distribution that is maintained and created by the company Canonical. Ubuntu works well out-of-the-box and has a multitude of graphical programs for those
who don’t want to rely on the command line. For those who want a less novice-friendly experience but are willing to take the tradeoff to gain access to a stable system that many Linux systems are based on, try Debian’s stable branch. Or perhaps you’re sick and tired of your current desktop as a whole, including your text editor and file browser? Why not download an entirely new desktop environment (a window manager prepackaged with more to create a fully-working environment right off the bat)? And the cherry on top? You can download all of the above applications straight from your command line! The sourcing and approval of most of these applications from trusted servers and databases means a much lower chance of contracting a computer virus. One good thing about the low market share of Linux is that it makes an antivirus all but unnecessary. Not only this, but the ability to extensively customize Linux, and the free updates that come with Linux, allow you to jumpstart a formerly slow and outdated computer back to life. Although the degree to which you can customize your environment is easily one of the largest pluses of a Linux system, Linux also allows for computer scientists, productivity buffs, tinkerers, and average people who just want to customize their computers to create ideal working environments for themselves. This versatility of Linux owes to its customizability and its power. Linux is, at its core, a command-line- or shell-based system. This command line allows you to download, install, and update applications straight from it, along with being able to delete files, move files, copy files, and more, all in an efficient, versatile, and powerful manner. New users shouldn’t be too intimidated by working with the terminal in Linux. It’s an excellent tool worth learning if you wish to unlock the “true potential” of Linux. But there are workarounds. If you would prefer not to use the command line, you may resort to graphical applications. The primary point is that, in Linux, you can customize nearly everything to your heart’s content and find, or create, something that you are comfortable with. Although plagued with widespread false rumors and a lack of publicity, Linux provides an antivirus-independent, powerful, efficient, and effective system without lugging all of the dreaded “bloatware” alongside it. There is something in Linux for everybody.
FEATURES
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Tips for Success this Valentine’s Day By ABBY KATZ, Staff Writer
Q: Hey Abby. So Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I want to do something really special for my girlfriend this year. I’m not that great at gift-giving or big romantic gestures or anything like that, so I was hoping that you might be able to help me out. What can I do to plan the best, most memorable Valentine’s Day ever? Signed, Sleepless in Second Period
A: Well hello there, Sleepless! First of all, you should be aware that when it comes to dates, the most “memorable” are usually the furthest thing from good. If you want to ensure success, aiming for mediocrity is usually a good route to take. However, I get the sense that you won’t settle for that, so I’ll do my best to help you find a way to make a big impression. I don’t know anything about your girlfriend or her interests or the nature of your relationship but, as we established two short months ago here on That Sounds Like a You Problem, most girls are pretty much all the same. With that in mind, all you need to do to impress your girlfriend is mirror the things you see in romantic comedies. And if there’s anything you can learn from the films of this oh-so-realistic, consistently well-executed subgenre, it’s that there’s no better way to win a gal’s heart than by boldly and vulnerably asking for her forgiveness after you inevitably do something to make her leave you. This works best if you bring flowers, of course. And a big, old-school boom box. Oh, and it should be raining, too. Obviously. Of course, in order for a plan like this to work, the first thing that you need to do is betray your girlfriend’s trust or let her down in some other way. Use the week leading up to Valentine’s Day to slowly but surely chip away at said trust. Give her sister a bag of conversation hearts. Make out with her best friend in the parking lot. Go to her house for dinner and hit on her mother the entire time. Subtle things like that. Once you’ve caused the damage, it’s time to poetically make amends. On February 14, right around dinner time, show up at your generic love interest’s house with a bouquet of flowers and as many other cheesy, not-at-all-personalized gifts you can carry. As of now, weather.com isn’t predicting any major rainstorms on the holiday, so be prepared to use a garden hose or the sprinkler in the front yard to achieve the same pneumonia-inducing effect. Tell her you’re sorry, that you’re an idiot, that you’re always wrong and she’s always right. That’s all that girls need to hear, isn’t it? If my master plan doesn’t work out—although I can’t see how that could happen, seeing as according to my own unbiased calculations I’ve probably almost never been wrong— then it looks like you’ll be single right in time for Valentine’s Day! Don’t despair, though, I’ve got a whole arsenal of foolproof and definitely not restraining-order-inducing tips to help you improve your flirting game… You’re welcome. ‒Abby
Club Feature: Finance Club By JUSTIN CRAMER and BRENDAN PARMENTER
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That Sounds Like a You Problem
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
If you’ve heard of Finance Club, it is likely that you dismissed it as boring, envisioning it as a club consisting of dull people obsessing over numbers and arduous graphs. From the perspective of the members, however, numbers and graphs aren’t nearly as boring as they seem in math class. Driven by the desire for future success and prosperity, several individuals passionate about stocks created Finance Club this year, aiming to gain valuable knowledge that will contribute to their future success. Many members of the club are planning careers in the lucrative finance industry, and gaining early experience and knowledge gives a serious edge. Many employees working in the financial sector didn’t discover that career path until later in their college years or even while working in a different industry. Additionally, gaining knowledge about stocks can be beneficial even for those who aren’t planning a career in the financial sector, because investing or trading stocks can be great way to generate income in high school, college, or later in life to supplement another job. The main goal of Finance Club is to educate its members on the fundamental aspects of investing in stocks, but we also learn about the basics of the financial industry and about the stock market in general. Through both presentations and open discussions, we explore basic and advanced techniques in the research and analysis of stocks, including understanding macroeconomic factors and industry conditions, evaluating the financials of companies, and learning basic technical analysis of stock charts. The club also aims to effectively support members looking to either pursue careers in finance or to gain skill in private wealth management. Finance Club’s weekly meetings provide the basis for understanding the stock market. The meetings include informal discussions of market-wide events, trends, and research, explanations of basic concepts, as well as formal presentations of particular stock picks and stock analysis techniques. Members are free to give input about events and trends they have noticed and share other ideas. Throughout the week, Finance Club participates in a stock market simulation by creating a virtual portfolio with real-time market data from MarketWatch. The simulation provides us with a greater understanding of how the market works and allows us to experiment with strategies and refine our techniques without any risk involved. It is important to develop a comprehensive outlook before getting involved with the market for real, as the majority of inexperienced traders lose money in the stock market. As members are developing a more sophisticated understanding of stocks, a pool is being introduced to the simulator, where those who put in money participate and are rewarded with a prize at the end of the three-week period. In the future, the club is hoping to be able to participate in an online stock-trading competition with the approval of Congressman Tom Reed. If you have an interest in money (and who doesn’t?) and are motivated to become successful later in life, come join the IHS Finance Club. The club provides the critical basis necessary for understanding the stock market in order to invest in the stock market for real without risking a serious amount of money. The club meets every Thursday after school in Ms. Kautz’s room.
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
FEATURES
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Capital Corner: Stock Market A New Family Favorite Information By STERLING WILLIAMS-CECI, Staff Writer
Recently, my family and I were craving some good Chinese food. After my parents’ favorite Chinese restaurant in Ithaca closed many years ago, we were at a loss as to where should we go. We might have had to resort to the Wegmans takeout bar (which, in its defense, is not bad), but then I remembered that a good friend of mine and his family run the restaurant Capital Corner on West State Street. Upon looking it up and seeing rave reviews about the steamed dumplings and noodle dishes, we decided that it couldn’t hurt to give it a try. Little did we know that Capital Corner would become a family favorite and that we would be promising ourselves to return many more times. Capital Corner is located directly down from the State Theatre and on the other side of the road. Although it lies at the corner of two busy streets, one could never know this just from sitting inside: the building blocks out the road noise completely, offering a peaceful ambience. My parents, my younger sister, and I went on a Saturday night at around 5:00 p.m., and although my friend had told me that the restaurant could get busy on weekends, there were only a few patrons there that night, making for a relaxing setting where my family and I could reflect on the day together. This was the first major draw of this restaurant, since nobody enjoys trying to shout over dinner in order to talk to someone sitting only a few feet across the table. We got seated right when we walked in, and received water glasses right away, which is always a bonus for me since I am almost always dehydrated. Upon opening the menu (a two-sided three-fold brochure, with probably over 100 options total), I was overwhelmed in a good way by all the choices. I had already planned on getting the Lo Mein Noodles with vegetables, but now I saw so many different options: Dumplings, Chow Mein, various meat dishes, noodle soups, stir fry appetizers, and more. In the end, my sister and I both decided to go with our original order of the Lo Mein, but when I return I plan to try new dishes because there were so many good-looking options. My father ordered a Chow Mein noodle soup with seafood, and my mother ordered a garlic and broccoli chicken entree. Our attendant was very pleasant and came to get our orders right away, which was good because I was hungry after a busy day. We were all excited to try our dishes and see if they lived up to our expectations. Our food came promptly, after only about 15 minutes total for our four dishes. My family was delighted when we saw that the portions were very big, because coming from an immigrant Italian background in the 1950s, my father’s family had passed down to my father its love of not only good food, but also big portions, who passed it down to my sister and me. My sister and I took our first bites of the Lo Mein at the same time, and we both exclaimed, “it’s so good!” I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the noodles didn’t taste heavy or greasy, like some I have had from other Chinese places in the past. My mother liked all the dishes she tried, and my father loved his seafood soup. We had ample time to finish our meals without being rushed by any of the staff, which was nice considering that we had had bad experiences with this in the past at other places. When we were done, my father got the bill, and it came to a very reasonable price for all of our entrees. Our waitress left us some fortune cookies, and with that, we left feeling fully satisfied and ready to go again another night. Our consensus: we all loved Capital Corner and will be returning very soon. I recommend this restaurant to anyone who likes Chinese food. You won’t be disappointed.
By RYAN CUNNINGHAM, Staff Writer
Not long ago I saw the film The Big Short, which tells the story of some of the people behind the infamous housing-market crash of 2008. The film manages to be educational while maintaining an entertaining aspect, and also contains many abstract and potentially difficult financial concepts. I have also been reading The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham, who was a teacher and mentor to Warren Buffett—one of the richest people in the world and a role model for many modern investors. Investing is a highly complex field with a unique vocabulary of its own. Trying to get a better understanding of investing lingo, I recently spoke to an investment advisor who works in Ithaca. The advisor agreed to sit down and talk with me in Buffalo Street Books on January 12 to explain some key concepts in the business of investing. He was generous with his time and happy to explain the key terms of investing to me, though he said that he would prefer for me not to mention his name or firm; he is, however, a graduate of IHS, where he said his favorite subject was social studies. Not surprisingly, he told me he has great respect for Warren Buffett, declaring the wealthy but humble founder of conglomerate corporation Berkshire Hathaway one of the smartest investors ever. I asked him about his job as an investment advisor. He said that he works with people on their private investments and retirement accounts and helps people manage money in a way that lets them grow and/or maintain their current level of money. As part of his job, he advises individuals on retirement savings, and on how to pay off debts. An investment advisor can be very helpful for people who are struggling with their own finances, or just those looking to properly manage their investments, and can give them a sense of direction. Next, he explained the difference between investors, traders, and brokers. Those interested in becoming investors are usually advised to take a long-term approach. That means putting money in things that may not result in immediate payoff, but will hopefully appreciate and provide a return in the long run. Traders, on the other hand, usually take a more short-term stake in their investments than an investor would, actively buying and selling securities. A broker is someone who buys and sells stocks, bonds, and mutual funds on behalf of someone else as a middleman. I asked him about hedge funds, currently a topic of large debate that we hear about rather frequently in the news and movies such as The Big Short. Hedge funds, he said, are private funds with stocks and bonds or real estate or mutual funds that attempt to beat the CONTINUED ON PAGE 14
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market return-wise, typically by employing aggressive tactics. As hedge funds are highly complex financial institutions, it’s necessary to consistently generate over $200,000 a year or have a net worth of $1 million or more to qualify to invest in a fund. Following this, he went over what an acquisition is. An event relatively common in the financial sector, an acquisition is when one company purchases another company’s corporate assets and liabilities, keeping it otherwise intact unless they wish to initiate reform of some kind. However, an acquisition is not necessarily a mutual agreement between two companies, as hostile takeovers can occur when one company forcefully buys out another company. The term “option” is used fairly frequently, especially by traders. Options are financial instruments used to extend profits but can be risky and very confusing, even for professionals. Essentially, by purchasing an option, you are buying a position in the market where you are either betting on the underlying stock to either go up or go down (call and put, respectively). When you acquire an option, you obtain the right, but not the obligation, to actually utilize it. As an example, let’s say the value of a market index (a term explained below) is 100. You can buy call at 105, and by purchasing it, you bet that it will go up to 105; if it goes up above 105, you will make a whole bunch of money. The price that you get an option at is the price at which it has to be bought or sold on that day. The difference between that price and the closing price you get to keep. To profit, it’s necessary to either sell at a steep discount or buy on a big discount. Note that options have expiration dates after which they become unusable. The financial instrument called a bond is of importance to The Big Short. A bond, the advisor explained, is a form of debt that has been issued by a company or government that can be bought or sold just like stocks. A bondholder can collect income from the bond as the bondholder pays off the bond. Bonds are also different from stocks in that they are considered relatively safe investments because there is less fluctuation. The 2008 crash was central to the storyline of The Big Short, but what caused it? Although there were quite a number of reasons for this devastating event, major causes blamed for the crash include artificially inflated home real-estate prices and the proliferation of subprime mortgages. This led to a domino effect that brought banks to a crisis point, which required gov-
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THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
ernment intervention—in the form of taxpayer money—to prevent massive losses and the complete collapse of the financial system. Next, the advisor explained the meaning of various acronyms:
S&P: Standard and Poors, a rating agency for bonds. S&P assigns credit ratings for bonds based on their likelihood of issue defaulting (when the bond issuer can’t afford to pay back its bondholders). They also maintain and create market indexes such as S&P 500. They generally focus
NASDAQ: A stock index like the S&P 500, and also a stock exchange on its own. It is comprised of mainly technology-industry stocks. SEC: Securities and Exchange Commission, a branch of government that is responsible for regulating people who work in the financial services industry and the stock market. They try to enforce laws and make sure that nobody cheats the system or clients. IPO: Initial Public Offering, when a company makes their stock available to be bought by the public for the first time. Usually “underwritten” by a middleman investment bank that assists the company in issuing its first shares to the public.
P/E ratio: Price to Earnings, also expressed as stock price divided by the earnings per share of the underlying company’s stock. The P/E can be used to gauge how undervalued or overvalued a specific stock is, both by the company and the investor. A high P/E ratio may signal that the stock’s price is too high in relation to its earnings or that people are interested in the stock for reasons other than earnings. The P/E ratio is one of the most common ratios in investing. HFT: High-frequency trading, the act of buying and selling stocks at very high rates. A high-frequency trader capitalizes on micro-fluctuations in the stock market by selling when the price of the stock appreciates slightly and buying when it decreases slightly. These tasks are most typically automated through the usage of computers that utilize mathematical techniques and algorithms to attempt to figure out which stocks to purchase or sell. There are numerous firms that specialize in high-frequency trading and the technology behind it.
Finally, he went over some key terms every investor should know:
Dividend: A payment that some stocks (and bonds) will deliver to their shareholders from time to time. If you own a stock, you can be paid a dividend if the company has a dividend policy. The typical dividend pattern is to pay out every quarter, although there are variations on this scheme.
Stock Split: A company may perform a split to keep stock prices low and hopefully sell more shares of their stock. Say somebody has stock in Apple around 115. If a 2:1 split happens then the owners of the stock prior to the split would have two shares at 57.5 each. Newly issued shares would be sold at that lower price. Blue Chip Stock: Financial speak for a company with a solid reputation that will likely continue to display good results at that time. “Blue Chip” means that the stock is recommended and the general public is confident that it will do well due to it it having a proven history and record.
Junk Bond: A bond issue that has a high rate of defaulting. However, they tend to pay out higher yields. Becoming notorious during the 80’s, junk bonds are considered such if they have a rating of “BB” or lower on the typical bond-rating scale.
Penny Stock: Essentially the stock equivalent of a junk bond. They typically take the place of small companies that aren’t worth very much. Penny stocks tend to be very volatile to buy and sell with large price fluctuations and bankruptcy not being a rare sight. However, they have the potential to earn lots of money if they do turn out to be huge successes due to the fact that they can be purchased at such a low price. Beta: A way to measure volatility of individual stocks in comparison to the market as a whole. The market has a beta of 1. Most stocks have a beta either higher or lower than this, with a high beta showing that it is (in theory) more volatile than the general market. Beta is used to measure history and anticipate future risk.
Mutual fund: A group of stocks and bonds that will be selected and dealt with by a fund manager or a team of multiple managers, as is the case with larger funds. There are a large variety of mutual funds focused on specific sectors of the market or made to fit the different needs of people and meet their goals. They tend to be much more available to the public than hedge funds.
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“A Series of Unfortunate Events follows the exact plot of the original books and stays true to the author’s intentions.”
A Series of Unfortunate Events Season 1: A Review By VEDA CHICKERMANE
On Friday the 13th of January, Netflix released a new original show, which, as usual, was quite well-envisioned and executed. It is based off A Series of Unfortunate Events, a set of books written by Dan Handler, more commonly known by his pen name Lemony Snicket. Most Netflix-produced shows seem to have been over-publicized and hyped to the point of over-revelation and even misinformation, and those based on literary works or true stories have been known to stray from actual events to an uncomfortable extent. However, A Series of Unfortunate Events follows the exact plot of the original books and stays true to the author’s intentions. The show is well-written, the visuals are evocative, and the exertion of the dark humor applied perfectly. It is a mustsee. Starring Neil Patrick Harris (known for his role as Barney in How I Met Your Mother), the show follows the life of the three Baudelaire children, tragically orphaned when their parents died in a fire. Their life falls apart quickly after as chaos ensues in finding a suitable caregiver. The children go from one guardian to the next, each one being killed off by their murderous and greedy uncle Count Olaf, the relative who controls the Baudelaire family inheritance if the children and their guardian die. Perhaps Netflix’s best choice was the sparse narration from the perspective of Lemony Snicket, voiced by the wonderful Patrick Warburton, through a nihilistic and pessimistic viewpoint he expresses to the viewer, and sometimes through somber letters to his dead love, Beatrice. The idea was also present in the book; the author intermittently warns the reader that A Series of Unfortunate Events will only bring them pain and misery. To the viewer, the omniscient
third-person point of view helps to follow along the twisted and dark plot of show, and is perhaps the best-incorporated element from the novels. This show was intended to be almost identical to the original book series, which enhanced it and appealed to the younger side of myself that thoroughly enjoyed A Series of Unfortunate Events as a child. With only eight episodes and dramatic cliffhangers, the show was made to be addicting and fast-paced. Each episode is about an hour long, but it is clear that the show was intended for binge watching like other Netflix originals such as Stranger Things and Orange is the New Black. I finished A Series of Unfortunate Events in the span of less than a week, and it was nearly impossible to finish an episode and not want to watch the next one. Each consecutive tragic event had me hooked, and I was eager to see more of the plot develop in a single sitting. The visuals, characters, and plot were perfect in making the books come to life. I commend the excellent performance by all of the actors, even Presley Smith in the role of the baby Sunny. A Series of Unfortunate Events exceeded my expectations and was worth the watch. It mirrors the best parts of the book, especially the tone and plot, and adds in its own creative twist to enhance the cinematography of the series. The series includes all of the mystique and dry comedy of the novels in a far more refreshing and sophisticated way. As a result, it leaves nothing to be desired when compared to the books, and I’d highly recommend it to anybody who was a fan of the books as a child or who craves mystery and suspense in a TV show.
What is the Affordable Care Act? In March of 2010, President Barack Obama signed into law the Affordable Care Act (ACA), a federal law that was the largest change to the American health care system since the 1965 creation of both Medicare and Medicaid. The ACA’s most important provisions included a mandate that most Americans have health care, an expansion of Medicaid to include individuals making 38 percent above the federal poverty line, and a regulation that prevented health insurance providers from denying health care or increasing premiums based on health status or gender. However, its largest and most controversial provision was the creation of health insurance exchanges, through which individuals not covered by their employer or another government program could purchase insurance options under prices regulated or subsidized by state governments. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that the provisions of the ACA will cost $1.2 trillion in the period from 2016 to 2025, an average yearly cost of around $130 billion. This net cost includes the expansion of Medicaid, the subsidies offered in health care exchanges, and tax credits for employers.
The Rise and Affordable
Impact on Ithaca
The impact of the ACA and its provisions on Ithaca and Tompkins County is significant in many ways. Firstly, it increased the age at which children have to end reliance on a guardian’s plan to 26, which resulted in accessibility to health care for all 27,000 students under 27 residing in Ithaca. However, far more vulnerable are the nearly 20,000 residents of Tompkins County living under the poverty level, most of whom rely on either health care subsidized directly by the government or health care plans offered by their employers as the result of the ACA’s mandates and penalties for employer noncompliance. The repeal of even one section of the ACA would make all other parts infeasible, and these demographics would all be severely disadvantaged as a result.
Fall of the Care Act
On January 18, the Tompkins County Legislature and members of the public had a discourse on the effects of ending the ACA on our community.
During the passage of the ACA, the Republican Party and many conservative advocacy groups strongly protested the bill. They believed the ACA would be responsible for greater government spending, going against the conservative value of small government, and contrary to their party’s principle that government should not meddle in the doctor-patient relationship. As a result of the 2016 general election, the Republican Party now controls the Presidency and holds majorities in both houses of Congress, and their foremost goal is the repeal of the ACA. However, they will not be able to repeal the whole bill due to not having a supermajority in either house or enough votes to counteract a filibuster initiated by Democrats. They will likely use a method called budget reconciliation, a spending-related measure that only requires a simple majority to pass in both houses and can be fast-tracked by the President. The only condition is that they can only repeal budget-related aspects of the ACA. This means that the mandate for health insurance will stand, even as subsidies for those with premiums covered under the ACA go away. The Republicans expect that this will cripple the ACA and necessitate a replacement they can write on their own terms, but they have yet to begin drafting it. IMAGE FROM THE ITHACA VOICE
Black: No state exchange, users have to use federal program Grey: State works with federal government to provide a healthcare exchange White: State provides an independent healthcare exchange Hashmarks: Over 10 percent of state residents are uninsured (2016)
What Will Change?
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Visiting the Met By STERLING WILLIAMS-CECI, Staff Writer
Over Winter Break, I took a family outing to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. During the ride, we planned out what we would visit. We decided that we should start by going to the Egyptian section, since we were all interested in seeing the Temple of Dendur exhibit. After that, we would just look at maps and decide where to go next. If you’ve never been to the Met, I strongly recommend that you go just to see the Temple of Dendur, if nothing else. It is a magnificent and colossal temple that is set on a small podium in a huge room of the museum, and to recreate the actual temple, there is a stream of running water that flows in a moat around this podium. People can go into the actual temple, where enough of the edifice has been reconstructed so that you can walk around inside and see engravings and hieroglyphs on the walls. This exhibit, by far, is one of my favorites at the Met, and it is also near the other cool Egyptian artifacts that we looked at, such as the sarcophagi. Splitting off from the others, my sister, my cousin, and I made our way upstairs to the Modern Art. On our way we stopped by the Renaissance Art section, where we saw many interesting and strange self-portraits. We were amused by the fact that some of these self-portraits depicted their painters in unflattering ways, with foul expressions on their faces. It was also interesting to see the ideal for women’s bodies in this time period and in the different cultures portrayed: many of the women were overweight and had loose fat all over their bodies, an ideal that seems to have changed today as the preference in America has leaned more towards thinner women. Yet in these paintings, it was clear that women who were bigger had the most admirers! We also saw some interesting paintings that depicted feasts in which men were bringing lobsters out of ponds, and others in which only one part of the scene was in color and the rest was colorless. We soon exhausted our attention in the Renaissance Art and headed on to the Modern Art section. The Modern Art was really cool, and included some works from Andy Warhol and other notables of the time period. One of my favorite things from this part of the museum was a set of about ten different canvasses in a row, each painted completely with a pastel-like color. The colors ranged from sunset orange to salmon pink to aquamarine turquoise to rainforest green. It was amazing to see all these shades in a row and made it feel like you were looking at nature, because each color resembled a part of the natural world, like the sea, the flora, or the fauna. I found this work aesthetically pleasing and could look at it for minutes on end! What was nice about the Modern Art section was that no two works resembled each other in the slightest, so there was lots of variety in what we were seeing. Although it was small (only two rooms of artwork), I liked this section of the Met a lot. Finally, we had completed our stay at the Met. Having been there for a few hours and feeling weary, the three of us returned to meet up with the rest of the group at the Temple of Dendur and head out. Overall, I enjoyed going to the Met and I would recommend it to anyone because since it is so large, there is always something for everyone to enjoy, and even if you stay for a long time there is still always more to see.
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Thinking About An Ex By EMILY MYATNOE
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it is typical to feel nostalgic for relationships, especially past ones that didn’t end well. A bad breakup is awful all year round, but around Valentine’s Day, reminiscing on past relationships is like putting salt on a fresh wound. So, here is a playlist of 15 songs dedicated to those who are spending this Valentine’s Day eating chocolate their mom bought them and tapping through all the Snapchat stories of all the happy couples. 1. “Make You Feel My Love” - Adele “I could hold you for a million years to make you feel my love” 2. “A Thousand Years” - Ella Mai “I hope you fall and break your heart like you broke mine” 3. “I Bet” - Ciara “I love you but I won’t be a fool for you” 4. “I Needed You” - Blackbear “Haven’t slept, awake, ain’t eat a thing, but you’ve been on my mind this whole time” 5. “You & Me” - Marc E. Bassy ft. G-Eazy “We’re just strangers in passing casually; it’s not us no more, it’s just you and me” 6. “Take A Bow” - Rihanna “Don’t tell me you’re sorry ‘cause you’re not” 7. “Heartless” - Kanye West “Wait a couple months then you gonna see you’ll never find nobody better than me” 8. “Advice” - Kehlani “ ‘Cause how is the man of my dreams not a man of his words? And how is the man for me just a man who makes me hurt?” 9. “Best Thing I Never Had” - Beyonce “I thank God I dodged a bullet, I’m so over you” 10. “The Man Who Can’t Be Moved” - The Script “How can I move on when I’m still in love with you?” 11. “Jealous” - Labrinth “It’s hard for me to say; I’m jealous of the way you’re happy without me” 12. “Bed of Lies” - Nicki Minaj ft. Skylar Grey “So call me when you’re not so busy just thinking of yourself” 13. “That Should Be Me” - Justin Bieber “That should be me holdin’ your hand, that should be me making you laugh” 14. “So Sick” - Ne-Yo “So done with wishing you were still here” 15. “i hate u i love u” - gnash ft. Olivia O’Brien “It hurts me everytime I see you”
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Portraits of Syrian Children IMAGE BY AMALIA WALKER
By CHLOE WRAY, Staff Writer
“Ali” by Amalia Walker ’17
For the majority of December, I spent second period every day with Waled, an eight-year-old from Syria, whose favorite color is red. Waled was not a student in my Drawing and Painting class, but over the course of the month, I came to know the young boy whose portrait I was drawing. Photos of Waled and 21 other Syrian children were sent to IHS by the Memory Project, which works with art teachers and students to create portraits of children who are victims of poverty, abuse, war, or other traumas. Each student in Drawing and Painting classes received a photo of a Syrian child living in a refugee camp. Our task was to draw the child, producing a portrait to send back to him or her. The portraits become a treasure for many of the children who have few physical possessions or photos of themselves. The project shed light not only on the issues that are affecting Syria but on the perceptions many Americans hold. Prior to starting the project, students researched the predominant language and religion of the area, the history of the conflict in Syria, and where exactly Syria is located. Because in most classes we rarely have time to stray from the curriculum to discuss current events, it was a unique opportunity for an alternative, informative project. By better understanding the situation the children are in, stronger relationships betweens the students and Syrian children were formed. We were pouring our energy for 40 minutes a day into making a gift for a child, so the more connections we could make, the more
IMAGE BY CHLOE WRAY
meaningful we felt it would be for us as an experience and for the children as the recipients. But as I drew Waled, working primarily with oil pastels, I began to notice a trend of whitewashing amongst drawings in the class. In class we had been instructed to use one of the lightest peach tones as our primary color on the faces. Though it is likely that we perceive Syrians as darker, despite a significant amount of variation in pigmentation, the images we were given were mostly olive-skinned, and we seemed to be instinctively drawing them much lighter. During the summer, there was controversy over the Snapchat “beauty” filters lightening skin tones. I struggled to achieve the skin tone that was truest to Waled’s own, but I struggled far more with the fact that the class was being instructed to use the lightest oil pastel possible, pure white excluded. In film, whitewashing refers to the casting of typically non-white roles with white actors. By not focusing on portraying correct skin tones for the children, ideas of assimilation were promoted, conflicting with efforts to promote cultural understanding. It was quite meaningful to be able to create something that had such potential to impact a child, but it also drew attention to some of the less obvious ways in which different cultures perceive each other. I realized going into the project that there would be things about Syria that I may not be familiar with. I did not think about whitewashing though, until it was happening, and perhaps this is the problem. Subliminal examples like these showcase the inadvertent ways through which white privilege can affect perceptions.
“Waled” by Chloe Wray ’17
89th Academy Awards Predictions: La La Land Dominates
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By ISAIAH GUTMAN, Staff Writer While February may be the least favorite month of all but NFL fans, the month does contain some of the most prestigious award ceremonies of them all, including, of course, the Academy Awards. While one can only do so much in terms of predictions of the winners before the nominations themselves are released, I will assume that there will be no untoward surprises on January 24, such as La La Land being snubbed entirely. For the predictions themselves, I have included my favorite from each category where I feel qualified to do so (after all, I can only see so many films) along with my prediction for the film to which the Academy will give the nod in the end. So, without further rambling, here are my Oscar picks for everyone’s favorite year: 2016. First up is Best Picture, which may one of the more contested categories this year. Sadly, I can only report to having seen two, or possibly three of the films that will be nominated. When the ballots are counted, the Academy will have voted for La La Land, a film that purportedly captures the true spirit of Hollywood and will be rewarded simply for being made in such cynical times. That being said, out of the paltry few films I truly enjoyed this calendar year, the one most deserving in my eyes was Hell or High Water, barely beating out Manchester by the Sea. Hell or High Water, a reimagining of the Western featuring two brothers facing a foreclosure, may have been a simplistic film, but this serves only to magnify the humanity of it and drive home a message that rings true, especially after the election. Conversely, while it was something close to a masterpiece, Manchester by the Sea did not have any such message ringing clearly, which is not precisely why I am hesitant to appoint it number one. Moonlight, another contender, seemed to be completely bereft of a central message. That being said, this was clearly the most emotional film I have seen this year, beating even Swiss Army Man. Next, we have the acting awards, which I promise I won’t belabor. Firstly, the locks. Even after his upset loss at the Golden Globes, I see very few scenarios where Mahershala Ali from Moonlight does not come away with Actor in a Supporting Role. In Moonlight, he stood out for sure, but was not present enough to get my pick, which is Jeff Bridges for Hell or High Water. Another sure thing is Viola Davis for Actress in a Supporting Role for her role in Fences. After two straight years of zero people of color even getting a nomination for an acting award, we will have at least two win these four categories, with the distinct possibility of a third. Speaking of a third category, Casey Affleck from Manchester by the Sea is the clear front-runner for Actor in a Leading Role. While Denzel Washington, again for Fences, is an option, and a good one at that, look to the Academy to correctly reward the newcomer. Affleck was beautiful in the film as a Massachusetts man, and while I won’t give anything else away, that basically
sums up his character and his actions. As silly as that may sound, the superior of the Affleck brothers turned in the performance of a lifetime and will be rewarded. That gets us to the hardest acting category to predict: Actress in a Leading Role. While Isabelle Huppert may have taken home the Globe, I have to go with Emma Stone here, even if, as I have heard, she does not live up to her costar in her lead role in La La Land. If I had a say, I would go with Amy Adams, who was good, if not great, in her role as linguist Louise Banks in Arrival. While I had my fair share of gripes with the film, mostly about pacing, she did have a good performance in the film and sold the excellent twist at the conclusion. And now, on to the last few of the important awards that I care about enough to write more than one sentence. For Directing, the only director that could possibly upset La La Land’s Damien Chazelle would be one I would certainly choose, Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester by the Sea. Don’t count out Barry Jenkins for Moonlight, either. Mel Gibson may surprise us by being nominated for his work on Hacksaw Ridge, but don’t expect a win. I fully expect Damien Chazelle to win this. In the arena of Writing, Moonlight appears to be a shoo-in for Adapted Screenplay, while La La Land and Manchester duke it out in Original Screenplay. Musicals don’t often garner awards for writing, so I predict Manchester by the Sea here, and it would be deserving indeed. Now, we get into the portion of the article where I get lazy and decide to make an ever-so-exciting list! Animated Feature Film: Zootopia—A social commentary that grossed over a billion dollars? The only other contender is Kubo and the Two Strings, which is undoubtedly more beautiful and better made. Short Film (Animated): Piper—It is the only one I have heard of, and it is by Pixar. Music (Original Song): “City Of Stars” - La La Land—The central song of the most heralded musical of the year? Yeah, it’ll win. Distant runner-ups: “How Far I’ll Go” (Moana), other La La Land songs (if they get nominated). I personally prefer “Audition.” Music (Original Score): La La Land—Does this need an explanation? It won at the Globes, it’ll most likely win here as well. Cinematography: La La Land—Once again, the vaunted film picks up an Academy Award. Watch Arrival for a potential upset; it would be my pick. Film Editing: La La Land—You know the drill. Visual Effects: The Jungle Book—I have heard negative remarks only about the humans, but in an animal focused film it shouldn’t matter. I would go for Doctor Strange personally, but Marvel Studios does not have a great track record with the Academy. CONTINUED ON PAGE 22
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The Man Comes Around: An Examination of Johnny Cash’s Time Working for American Recordings (1994-2010) By LELAND XU, Staff Writer
Johnny Cash has been dead, undisturbed, underground, emotionless, next to his beloved wife, in Nashville, Tennessee, in the Hendersonville Memory Gardens, in the Garden of Matthew, with the fourteenth verse of the nineteenth chapter of the biblical Psalms imprinted on his tombstone, for nearly 13 years. He was 71 when he died: 71 years, six months and 29 days after his birth in Great Depression-era Kingsland, Arkansas. It’s difficult to overstate the cultural impact Cash has made on American music, be it country, folk, rockabilly, rock and roll, or gospel, as well as the motivation and inspiration he brought upon his contemporaries: Bob Dylan, Kris Kristofferson, the Carter Family, Willie Nelson, Tom Petty, Neil Young, Bono, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Waylon Jennings, to name a few. Through his music, he addressed the war in Vietnam and the treatment of prisoners and Native Americans, advocating for tolerance across race, background, and religion. But that was many decades ago. To many, the best of Johnny Cash was over by the 1980s, and he was to fade into obscurity like many others; yet during the late 20th and early 21st century, Cash
surprised us with the multiple albums he released with Rick Rubin, which showed off a musically strong Cash despite his physically weak state. These later albums helped reinvent and reinvigorate his image, especially for younger audiences, without actually changing his iconic vocal style. He covered powerful modern and relevant hits such as Soundgarden’s “Rusty Cage,” traditional gospel hymns such as “I’ll Fly Away,” classic ballads such as Webb’s “Wichita Lineman,” and recorded new renditions of his own songs such as his 1964 single “Understand Your Man.” In the end, he was, and forever will be, a unique voice of the United States of America; the bass-baritone and smooth voice that yearned for love and equality all around the world, but deep inside, reminded others of his somber heart, especially in his final years. Cash’s musical career stagnated in the early 1990s as it had in previous decades, partly due to the growing pool of popular younger country artists dominating country-music stations, partly due to treatment by the recording labels that he had worked with previously. This usually resulted in the failure of subsequent albums. Columbia Records, in Cash’s own words, was “invisible” to the label; he was no longer getting “the full frontline marketing treatment” when referring to the advertising for his albums, even though, in musician Dwight Yoakam’s words, Cash had practically, “built the building.” This led to a cycle of his albums not selling well due to poor advertising, which not only lowered Cash’s confidence, but supported the Columbia executives’ notion that they should give Cash even less advertising. Columbia Records dropped Cash on July 15, 1986, after he had worked with them for nearly 28 years. Mercury Recordings, Cash’s next record label, failed to use Cash for his full musical potential, encouraging Cash to cover songs that didn’t fit him well—see Cash’s cover of Clark’s and McBride’s “Heavy Metal (Don’t Mean Rock and Roll to Me)” on his 1987 album Johnny Cash is Coming to Town. But all the while, another competitor looked at Cash with wanting eyes. Rick Rubin, producer of such acts as the Beastie Boys, Public Enemy and LL Cool J and controversial hip-hop trailblazer, wanted to work with Cash. “Most of the artists that I had worked with at the time were all new bands and young artists, and I was thinking it would be really fun to work with a substantial grown-up artist,” Rubin said. But first he had to get Cash on his side, which he did through a novel promise to let Cash “sit down before my microphone with your guitar and sing every song you want to perform.” By 1993, Cash signed a record deal with Rick Rubin to perform on his American Recordings label. Johnny Cash’s American Recordings [I] was released on April 26, 1994, starring a lone Cash and his guitar, in his living room. Johnny Cash was back. American Recordings reintroduced a Rubin-approved, darker Cash, contrasting with his image from previous decades, during which he had sold himself as “the Patriot.” This wasn’t a complete change of image to discourage older fans, however: Cash still covered Christian songs such as Kristofferson’s “Why Me Lord,” but the entire repertoire had grave and redemptive connotations. In CONTINUED ON PAGE 22
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his song “Let the Train Blow The Whistle,” Cash responded to those few who got in his way. “Tell the gossipers and liars / I will see them in the fire / Let the train blow the whistle when I go.” Indeed, this consistent melancholic theme would continue throughout the remainder of Cash’s career. After more compilation albums and the final album for the country supergroup The Highwaymen, Cash continued working with Rubin for American II: Unchained, released on November 5, 1996, and American III: Solitary Man, released on October 17, 2000. Two major changes happened between the first album and the two subsequent one. One, there were fewer original songs in both albums compared to the initial album (due to the decline of Cash’s health) and two, there were more performers and instruments accompanying Cash; Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Will Oldham, two members of Fleetwood Mac, Fiona Apple, Nick Cave, Don Henley, Carl Perkins, and Jack Clement supported and harmonized with him. Though many things were different, some stayed the same: the music continued to be predominantly melancholic, and the albums continued to merit critical acclaim and win awards. By now, time was ticking for Cash; it was two years into the new millennium and his body was failing him (many said it was the drugs and the alcohol he abused decades prior). He had already had surgeries on his knees, heart, and jaw, and autonomic neuropathy had stopped him from ever touring. Suddenly, the songs Cash sang about death and hell didn’t seem superficial. He was that close to death’s door and he knew it. He kept recording for Rubin and on November 5, 2002, released American IV: The Man Comes Around. One of Cash’s best American Recordings albums, American IV showcases beautiful orchestral and dedicated covers of wellknown songs such as the Beatles’ “In My Life,” Paul Simon’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” and Trent Reznor’s “Hurt,” which became Cash’s most prominent swan song before his death. With a music video filmed by Mark Romanek, “Hurt” features a reminiscent and repentant Cash looking back on his lengthy and arduous career, with the future left undetermined and bleak, backed with a simpler chord progression and quicker tempo than the original Nine Inch Nails version. Unearthed, a massive compilation of new songs, outtakes and different versions of the songs Cash released in the timespan between the first three American Recordings albums and a standalone compilation of gospel songs Cash learned as a kid (Johnny Cash’s My Mother’s Hymn Book), was released on November 25, 2003. American V: A Hundred Highways was released on July 4, 2006, and American VI: Ain’t No Grave, was released on February 23, 2010, again, titles taken from the stanzas of covered songs: McKuen’s “Love’s Been Good to Me” and Ely’s “Ain’t No Grave.” Songs chosen to be released from the two albums were specifically chosen to sound as if Cash were speaking to the listener straight from the grave, whether it be brutal religious advice (Traditional: “God’s Gonna Cut You Down”), a warm goodbye to his loyal audience (Kristofferson’s “For the Good Times”), or personal thoughts on death (Cash’s “1st Corinthians 15:55”). The American Recordings series was one of the best ways Cash could have gone out—157 songs have been released by Cash under American Recordings. They kept Cash relevant and long-running, in control of the direction of his career, and revived the popular but troubled outlaw persona that made him famous to begin with. However, this decade-long image shift was incredibly controversial in the country-music community, which refused to acknowledge his success or even play his songs on the radio, though it was not the first time Cash stood up against the music industries of his time. Modern country didn’t see Cash’s music as typical country main-
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
stream: it wasn’t the happy, youthful and adventurous image they liked or believed others liked, and year after year Cash was passed up for Country Music Awards (though he was well-compensated with Grammys and mentions by MTV). Rubin and Cash infamously replied to this dilemma with an inappropriate, but appropriately Cash, full-page advertisement of a 1969 Johnny Cash giving the finger to the “Nashville music establishment and country radio.” But it was cynicism that forced the country-music industry to celebrate Johnny Cash’s comeback in the end, believing that they should do so only due to the fact that “he was going to die sooner or later.” American IV was awarded “Album of the Year,” the music video for “Hurt” was named “Music Video of the Year,” while the song itself was awarded “Single of the Year” by the Country Music Awards 2003 in November, though it was too late by then. Now the future of Johnny Cash is left ambiguous: it’s been nearly seven years since the release of a Johnny Cash American Recordings album, and three years since the release of any Johnny Cash album. Rubin confirms that he still has enough recordings from his time with Cash to produce three or four new albums. Only time will tell how the legacy of Johnny Cash will unfold, and how well it will remind us of a time when one of music’s greatest and most influential heroes was still walking the line. “ACADEMY AWARDS” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 20
Documentary Feature: 13th—A film about criminal justice and race will win this, but will it be 13th, or OJ: Made in America? I’m going with DuVerney. Costume Design: La La Land—Jackie has a fighting chance. Production Design: La La Land—Same here with Jackie, but look for La La Land to emerge victorious nonetheless. Sound Mixing: La La Land—It is a musical. Sound Editing: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story—I have little idea, it will either be this, Hacksaw Ridge or Arrival. Makeup and Hairstyling: Deadpool—Deadpool will pull off a surprise in Makeup. Foreign Language Film: Toni Erdmann, I guess, either that or The Salesman from Iran seem to be favorites. Short Film (Live Action) and Documentary (Short Subject): I have no idea, so I will randomly pick a winner from the shortlists. So, “Nocturne in Black” and “The White Helmets” it is.
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SPORTS
Ithaca Roller Derby (And Why You Should Check it Out) IMAGE BY MARK H. ANBINDER
By ALEX CLAVEL
AC: How did you come up with your derby name? IK: My mom thought of it—she’s really good at puns.
AC: Did you have any apprehensions about starting derby? IK: Yeah a bit; I was afraid that I wouldn’t fit in with the other kids, but it turned out I found a bunch of new friends that I would say are as close as family. So, that was pretty great.
AC: What’s one of your favorite things about roller derby in Ithaca? IK: Well, I love to roller skate, but also all of the close friendships I’ve made and how everyone is so accepting.
Members of the Ithaca League of Junior Rollers play in a match against Montreal’s Rhythm and Bruise.
Ah, roller derby. When you think of this sport, you might think of fishnet-clad lesbians punching each other in the face or creative names such as Frita Hitabitch or Princess Slaya. Maybe you think of Ellen Page dramatically jumping over an opposing skater in 2009’s Whip It. But, no matter your impressions, let’s be realistic; roller derby is not all booty shorts and broken bones. There are real-life rules (Whaaaat?! Yeah, I know). There are decades of history behind roller derby, which has been dubbed “The Official Sport of Hard-Hitting Badasses Who Want To Mess Some People Up While Having a Great Time.” Okay, that’s not its actual nickname, but that’s basically what it is. Besides being a historically queer, feminist, and body-positive sport, derby is quickly becoming the most exciting way to show off one’s badassery. Let’s go over the basic rules of roller derby. Each team has five players on the track for each play, or “jam.” Jams can last up to two minutes, but are often shorter. On each team, there are four blockers and one jammer. The jammer’s job is to score points by passing opposing players in the “pack” (group of blockers). The blockers’ job is to help their own jammer through the pack while stopping the opposing jammer. The jammer gets one point for each opposing player they pass, and the winning team is the one with the most points at the end of two 30-minute halves. I spoke to LACS sophomore Indigo Kane (a.k.a. Indy-structible) about the reality of playing roller derby in Ithaca. Alex Clavel ’19: How did you find out about roller derby, and when did you start playing? Also, what position do you play? Indigo Kane: My mom’s friend Tamara (aka Dusa Damage) introduced it to me, and I’ve been playing for six years. I play all of the positions, but mostly I’m a jammer.
AC: What would you say is one of your proudest moments during your derby career? IK: Jumping the apex* while jamming and getting MVP jammer.
AC: Do you feel that playing roller derby has enabled you to be a better version of yourself, or helped you discover something new about yourself? If so, how? IK: Yes, definitely it has made me a better person. Before starting derby I never really knew what my sexuality was, but being able to be in such an open environment with so many different and cool people gave me the opportunity to really explore and know who I was. Although I’m still not a hundred percent sure how I identify sexually, I know I’m not straight and derby was one of the big things that helped me see that in myself. AC: Finally, what advice would you give to someone who wants to start skating, but is nervous about it? IK: Just do it! Even if you suck at skating, you’ll learn, and that’s the best part about derby: you’re always learning new things! Also, don’t be afraid, because all of us are super cool and nice. *Jumping the apex is when a jammer avoids the pack by jumping over the boundary line where the track curves.
So, there you have it. Roller derby is not just a bunch of lesbians beating the crap out of each other. It’s a complex (but awesome) sport that is rooted in feminism and body positivity. Seriously, there is a position for you no matter your body type. You’re built like a brick wall? You can be a killer blocker. Just want to hit people like there’s no tomorrow? You can do that, too. No matter your body type or level of experience, there is something for everyone in roller derby. In the words of Maggie Mayhem from Whip It, “Put some skates on. Be your own hero.”
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IMAGE BY AMY MILNER
IHS XC Recap, Indoor Track, and Outdoor Track Preview The Ithaca Cross Country team at the STAC Championship on October 29, 2016.
IMAGE BY TOM FRANK
Checking in on the Indoor Team With the help of new Athletic Director David Hanna, the ICSD Board of Education passed a budget that allowed for the formation of IHS’s first ever indoor track team. Many of Ithaca’s outdoor track opponents already have an indoor track and field team, with Ithaca being rather late to the occasion. Indoor track coach Andrew Weishaar, who is also the distance coach for the outdoor team, expressed his satisfaction, saying that “the indoor season has provided us an opportunity to build a tremendous foundation
State Quals 2016: Abe Phelan ’17 (left) takes a handoff from Khiry Brown ’17 in the 400 meter relay.
IMAGE BY AMY MILNER
Cross Country Recap The IHS cross country boys’ and girls’ teams, under the guidance of head coach Rich Bernstein—now in his 32nd year—both ended their seasons with appearances at the Nike Cross Country National (NXN) New York Regional. The Ithaca boys finished tenth as a team at the meet and tenth in the final New York State team rankings on MileSplitNY. Bernstein, who was recently selected as Co-Track and Field Coach for the juniors team representing the U.S. at the World Maccabiah Games this summer, said it was a “very successful season for the boys up until Feds and NXN Regionals, when illnesses struck down the top guys.” However, Silas Derfel ’18 finished 60th out of 195 runners and qualified for the NXN meet held in Portland, Oregon. Bernstein described this as “an outstanding accomplishment.” The Ithaca girls placed 15th at the regional meet and 22nd as a team in the final Class A Rankings, with Lizzy Rayle ’18 nabbing a solid 40th place finish. Bernstein said that the girls “served notice that they will be dangerous next season.” Both the boys’ and girls’ teams featured impressive depth of talent, including a combination of experienced upperclassmen and promising underclassmen. Although neither team qualified for Nationals, there were many signs this season that indicated big things for the future.
By AUSTIN LAMB
State Quals 2016: Lizzy Rayle ’18 and Grace Widercrantz ’18 (right) await the 2,000 meter steeplechase gun.
for the outdoor season. Maximizing abilities over both the indoor and outdoor seasons is extremely difficult, so we are focused on getting stronger first during the winter season, and then faster in the outdoor season.” In its inaugural season, the team has already achieved success: Nick John ’17 qualifying for the pole vault national championship is a prime example. It remains to be seen whether this extra training time will translate into success during the outdoor season. Outdoor Track and Field Preview The IHS track and field team is coming off a season that saw the the boys’ team place second and the girls’ team win at sectionals. The team as whole then continued that success at State Quals, with the boys’ team placing fifth and the girls finishing fourth. Jake Avery ’17, then a junior, qualified for the New Balance Outdoor Nationals meet in the mile run, which he also holds the school record in. While Avery is undoubtedly aiming for another trip to Nationals for his senior year, it wouldn’t be unlikely for others to join him. Track and field’s plethora of events may make it seem very individualistic at times, but it is still a team sport. The team’s success is dependent on performance from every athlete in every event. The season hasn’t started yet, so those interested in coming out for the team shouldn’t be discouraged. There are no cuts, but solid effort is a must. Even if joining the team isn’t of interest to you, the home meets can be very exciting and worthwhile, especially the Ithaca Relays. With new talent, an experienced and solid core of returning athletes, and the indoor season providing extra time to train, the Little Red track and field team could be in for a very good season.
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
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NBA All-Star Picks 2017 By ISAIAH GUTMAN, Staff Writer, and TONY YANG
West All-Stars 1. Russell Westbrook (Oklahoma City Thunder): Without Kevin Durant, Russ has been able to average a triple-double this season and is one of the leading candidates for MVP. 2. James Harden (Houston Rockets): After becoming the Rockets’ point guard, Harden has become one of the best passers and most prolific scorers in the league this season. 3. Kevin Durant (Golden State Warriors): The decision for KD to go to the Warriors has been recognized as “weakest move by a superstar.” Nevertheless, Durant has become the Warriors’ leading scorer and has drastically improved his defense. 4. Kawhi Leonard (San Antonio Spurs): The two time Defensive Player of the Year has transcended his game by improving his playing efficiency and offense. The entire Spurs organization is being carried by this future MVP. 5. Anthony Davis (New Orleans Pelicans): At the young age of 23, Anthony Davis has developed into one of the best and most versatile big men in NBA. “The Brow” is averaging a career high 29 points and 12 rebounds while still being extremely efficient. 6. Stephen Curry (Golden State Warriors): Even though Curry’s numbers have slightly dropped, the back to back MVP is still averaging 25 points and is the primary contributor to the Warriors’ offense. He is still one of the most elite point guards in the league and his main priority is to redeem himself in the NBA Finals. 7. Karl-Anthony Towns (Minnesota Timberwolves): Only a sophomore, Towns has developed into one of the most fundamentally sound big men. With a variety of post moves, Towns is capable of scoring midrange and three-point shots. Winning Rookie of the Year last year was the first step for him becoming a perennial all-star. 8. Klay Thompson (Golden State Warriors): With the addition of Kevin Durant, people thought that Klay’s scoring prowess would decline. Even after a slow start, Klay surprised the world by scoring 60 points in only 29 minutes. He is perhaps one of the best two-way guards and takes the hardest defensive assignments for his team. 9. Chris Paul (Los Angeles Clippers): Arguably one of the best floor generals in the league, Chris Paul is both an elite defender and an superior passer. At the age of 31, Paul still averages a solid 18 points and 10 assists. 10. DeMarcus Cousins (Sacramento Kings): This hotheaded center continues to be an unstoppable offensive force in the post. Like Towns, “Boogie” has also been able to extend his ability to shoot from the three-point line, making him a threat from all over the court. 11. Damian Lillard (Portland Trailblazers): Snubbed from being an All-Star last year, Lillard has proven himself to one of the most potent offensive players in this league. He averages a career high 26 points and is a part of the highest scoring backcourt this year. 12. Gordon Hayward (Utah Jazz): Considered to be one of the best young small forwards in this league, Hayward is averaging career highs in almost all statistical categories. He will finally lead the Jazz to the playoffs and be both an offensive and defensive threat to the Western Conference powerhouses.
Starters: Russell Westbrook, James Harden, Kevin Durant, Kawhi Leonard, Anthony Davis
East All-Stars 1. LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers): King James may be having one of his now normal less-than-100-percent-effort seasons, but even at a fraction of his old self he is one of the best of the year. 2. Kyle Lowry (Toronto Raptors): What a time to be a Raptors fan. Two of the best guards in the game, perfectly complementing each other. Lowry, for his part, has become one of the best point guards in the East, in what is now the second-most-competitive position behind, of course, small forward. 3. Giannis Antetokounmpo (Milwaukee Bucks): The Greek Freak has come into his own this year as the star of the Bucks, outplaying even Lebron. His stats freakishly resemble those of James, showing Giannis has come into his own as one of the best players in the NBA. 4. DeMar DeRozan (Toronto Raptors): DeRozan continues to be a scoring machine for the Raptors, being ever the threat to drop 40 points. He also adds above-average defense to a squad that sorely needs it. 5. Hassan Whiteside (Miami Heat): A huge surprise a couple of years ago, Whiteside continues to dominate the low post on both sides of the court, although he has been forced to take up far too much responsibility with Bosh out. 6. Jimmy Butler (Chicago Bulls): Always a defensive stalwart, Butler has loudly transitioned into a dominant offensive player for a Bulls team that has an all-new look. Averaging 25 points, seven rebounds and five assists per game, he is challenging LeBron for the title of the East’s best two-way player. 7. Joel Embiid (Philadelphia 76ers): The only rookie on the list, Embiid has done all he can with a minute restriction this year. Only playing 25 minutes per game, he still manages to average around 20 points, eight rebounds and two and a half blocks. Extrapolated to 36 minutes, his stats come out to 28 points, 11 rebounds and a staggering three and a half blocks. 8. Isaiah Thomas (Boston Celtics): Named after an NBA great, he has begun to truly live up to his name. Leading a Celtics squad that is in third in the East at the time of writing, the little guy is a picture of consistency, seemingly scoring 25 points or more every game, much of it coming in the final quarter for which he has been given the cringeworthy nickname of “King in the Fourth.” 9. Jabari Parker (Milwaukee Bucks): His inclusion is sure to be surprising to many, but the young man out of Duke has proven to be worthy of his second overall slot in the draft. While on the same team as Antetokounmpo, Parker has still managed to find a niche, becoming one of the better stretch fours in the league and a surprisingly efficient inside scorer to boot. 10. Kevin Love (Cleveland Cavaliers): Long considered the third wheel on the Cavs, the former MVP frontrunner has returned to form this year, averaging a double-double and improving in the post. Love has found a way to reinvent himself from CONTINUED ON PAGE 27
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THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
Why the Knicks Can’t Win
IMAGE PROVIDED
The New York Knicks have been the most disappointing team in the NBA. On December 11, after winning a close road game against the Lakers, they ascended the third seed in the Eastern Conference after winning the first two of five games in a seemingly easy Western Conference road series. However, after winning four of the next 16 games, the Knicks slid down eight spots and now sit out of playoff contention, having been deemed a failure this early on in the season. Why exactly are they unable to attain the offensive momentum and fortitude needed to win, and what aspects of their defense lack? I believe it’s not a lack of personnel, but a few inconsistencies and mistakes that they refuse to correct that result in their losing ways. The Knicks’ offensive woes are somewhat surprising considering their roster. One would believe that a team with Carmelo Anthony, who only a few seasons ago was widely regarded as the best scorer in the NBA; Kristaps Porzingis, an efficient and always-improving scorer who will in a few years assuredly be among the best in the league; and Derrick Rose, an excellent finisher at the rim and a better shooter from the perimeter as of late; would be among the best offensive teams in the NBA. However, this offensive prowess has not been realized for a few reasons. Firstly, within the last two minutes of the game, the Knicks have a horrible habit of running isolations with Carmelo Anthony. His shooting percentages in December, at roughly 34 percent from three-point range and 42 percent overall, have improved drastically following the Christmas Day game, but stagnation and a lack of ball movement in the key moments of the game still leads to him taking horrible, low-percentage shots. To rectify this problem, they must run plays that get all players involved, not isolations, and they have to work harder to involve Kristaps Porzingis in end-of-game plays, as he is shooting over 40 percent from three-point range and is far more reliable than they believe him to be. Another way would be to use Brandon Jennings, a very strong passing point guard, late in games if he is also shooting well in the game, as he is a streaky offensive player who is nearly unstoppable when hot. The other major offensive issue for the Knicks is their starting center at the time of writing: Joakim Noah. He is finishing around
“The only thing worse than Noah’s shooting form is his contract.”
IMAGE PROVIDED
By VAYNU KADIYALI
#freeporzingis
the rim at significantly under league average at just around 50 percent, and when watching Knicks games, I have had to endure the pain of him missing countless open layups and tip-in shots because of his jitteriness and lack of focus while playing offense. The solution to this issue would be to start Kyle O’Quinn, a far better offensive option who finishes excellently around the rim and is one of the league’s best midrange scorers, and work to get rookie Willy Hernangómez more minutes at the backup center and power-forward position as he is a player who is not only a good finisher and rebounder, but also has shown life from outside the arc. It would be ideal to trade Noah and his huge contract, but given that he is by all standards the most overpaid player in the league, it would be tough to find any asset in return for him. Benching him and utilizing his strong rebounding skills against teams who run small lineups is the best short-term solution to this problem. A far more apparent area of improvement for the Knicks is defense. The problem begins at the point guard position, where Derrick Rose and Brandon Jennings are both incapable of defending even mediocre opponents. An example of this that I found was in the Knicks’ game against the Denver Nuggets, in which starting point guard Emmanuel Mudiay scored 22 points while shooting 67 percent from the field, including some from 3-point range. This was a defensive abomination considering that Mudiay is regarded as one of the worst-scoring point guards with his horrendous 37 percent field goal percentage and an equally bad 31 CONTINUED ON PAGE 27
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
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Interview with Mr. Stone, IHS’s New Varsity Boys Basketball Coach By ISAIAH GUTMAN, Staff Writer
This year, there has been a shakeup at the position of boys’ basketball coach for varsity. Brian Stone has taken over for Jobe Zulu. Both the former basketball coach and former girls’ volleyball coach, Stone has an inordinate amount of experience with IHS Athletics. Currently, the team sports an excellent 14–1 record, leading the STAC West. I sat down with Stone to chat about his experiences as a coach. Isaiah Gutman ’19: Which team do you coach at IHS? Brian Stone: I coach the Ithaca boys’ varsity basketball team. IG: How many years have you been coaching at IHS? BS: This is [year] 22.
IG: Impressive. What are some the differences you notice between coaching volleyball and basketball? BS: They are just different sports in general; when I was coaching volleyball I had a lot to learn, a big learning curve when I started. I went to talk to the Cornell women’s coach to get information because in the situation when I took over the school couldn’t find a coach, so I decided to step in and do my best. IG: When you go to the locker room at halftime without the lead,
how do you pump up your players for the second half? BS: I just think it is important that they stay focused on what we are doing, and if they are prepared, things should work out in general. Not always, but being prepared is important and I try to make sure that the teams I coach are prepared to be as successful as possible. IG: Do you have any pregame rituals that you would be willing to share? BS: I really do not have any pregame rituals at all. I’m pretty boring. IG: If you could coach any NBA team, which would it be? BS: The New York Knicks.
IG: If you could talk to any coach of college basketball or in the NBA, who would it be? BS: That’s a tough question. I might talk to Roy Williams at North Carolina, maybe the Duke coach.
IG: Which NBA Player would be the most fun to coach, in your opinion? BS: LeBron James.
“KNICKS” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 26
“ALL-STAR PICKS” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 25
percent three-point percentage this season. The fact that such a below-average point guard was able to have such a performance proves the Knicks’ defensive woes at the point guard position. In another instance, when watching Derrick Rose play defense on Russell Westbrook in a Knicks blowout loss, I noted that Rose gave his opponent far too much room when he was dribbling the ball to call up a play, which enabled Westbrook to drive to either side of the basket without the chance of being caught up or slowed by the defense. It’s simple things like giving too much room to defenders, not putting a hand up to contest shots near the rim (an issue I noted throughout their January loss to the 76ers), and not switching effectively on defense to prevent a guard from driving on a slower big man like Joakim Noah (a huge issue in their January loss to the Anthony Davis–led Pelicans) that result in easy points for opponents. When the Knicks ignore these things consistently, they find themselves with large point deficits. While coaching staff and fans can point out that rookie Ron Baker has been effective in helping cut point deficits through very physical defense, it is obviously best if the Knicks’ better offensive options can work to prevent deficits in the first place. If you’re a Knicks fan this season, I sympathize with your plight. If the Knicks manage to squeeze by into the playoffs, it will be a momentous occasion for the team that last made it in 2013. Alternatively, if the Knicks decide to tank or are unable to make the playoffs, they have their first-round draft pick this season, and there is nobody I trust more than Phil Jackson to make a good decision with it, especially in this stacked draft class. There are better days ahead, and even if the Knicks can’t win right now, they can become a lot better through improving in a few small ways.
the elite scorer he once was, and has shown that he has what it takes to be both a champion and an All-Star. 11. Dwyane Wade (Chicago Bulls): After concerns about Wade being a second fiddle in Miami to the King, he has assumed the role once again on the Bulls. Nonetheless, he boasts greatly improved three-point shooting numbers and continues to score even as the Bulls falter. 12. John Wall (Washington Wizards): Boogie’s former teammate and current friend has put up monster numbers on a quickly improving Wizards team. Along with Bradley Beal, Wall has been enjoying a career year, checking in at second in steals per game and third in assists per game in addition to dropping 23 points per game on 46 percent shooting. Starters: Isaiah Thomas, Demar DeRozan, Jimmy Butler, Giannis Antetokounmpo, Kevin Love
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LITERARY
Most Likely the Haiku of the Month By LUCA GREENSPUN
No one else submits Luca takes home another Haiku of the Month!
Ode to GreenStar By CAMERON HARTMAN
O, GreenStar how you please me so The beautiful co-op store leaves many in woe
O, GreenStar your all-organic food is quite a sight Your gluten-free options have shown me the light O, GreenStar as I pay my Ithaca carshare bill I think of you and getting my nutritious fill
O, GreenStar as I don’t shower and comb my dreads I think of your new all-organic-gluten-free breads
Three Haikus By JAMES PARK
I have a problem I can't stop making bad jokes It's a gag reflex I made up ten jokes To try and get folks to laugh No pun in ten did I saw a small sign Outside the rehab center: Please keep off the grass
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
LITERARY
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Breeze By JULIA LUNA
Millions of little children With ten million, soft-spoken, greedy Fingers Reaching out to me Little vibrating fingers sliding past my face Rubbing across my cheek They leave pulling at my hair With cooing words and wispy fingers They leave ten thousand knots in my hair They leave with gentle whispers in the air
The True You By RAMONA GORE
Is anyone truly a prince? What is he hiding behind the spell? This so-called prince can't keep up the facade forever. A crack will appear someday. And someone will be there to make the crack grow. Then the world will finally see the true you. Now it is up to you to decide whether you will let them accept you or not. The prince they once loved is gone. And a frog is in his place who has faults like us too. No one is perfect. Not even a prince.
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A Meditation on Mournful Times By MAX FINK As I looked down at the cotton shirt that adorned my poor stomach divested of nourishment, the salvation of the vending machine called out to me. I stormed hence upon the aforementioned machine, pulling a crisp dollar from my pocket eagerly. A Pop-Tart was what I required, two beautiful, perfect, wheat pastry shells filled inside and out with succulent chocolate and fudge, or perhaps cinnamon frosting. “Two pastries both alike in dignity, in fair Vendomatic where we lay our scene…” (my mind was already delirious with hunger, I suppose). In any event, I quickly obtained the object of my desire. I unwrapped it.
Pain. Regret. Deep emotion like a channel. There was only one Pop-Tart in the wrapping. “How could this be?” I asked myself, astounded. Reader, there is no feeling like that of high expectations met with the great defeating blow of reality. You walk out on the morning of a festive holiday expecting the best wrapped gift you can place in your imagination, to be met with the opposite of what you wanted. Or worse, perhaps, your relatives have gotten you the wrong version of that thing you desired, a stuffed cat instead of a live puppy, an iTunes giftcard when you have an Android.
Emotions welled up inside me. How could they charge me 75 percent of the price for what was a 50 percent reduction in product? This is outrageous, I thought; the dollar is doing well on world markets. The length of my ties does not exceed my belt. I polish my own shoes. What could I have done to bring such a curse of travesty upon myself? I now could only consume 200 calories worth of wonderful high-fructose goodness so essential to the school and world economy. Now, we live in a time when belts are thin, times are tough, a fascist state health program crushes the hungry proletariat of learners. It seemed to me a sort of personal insult. I had so wanted two, I kept thinking. Expectations, tradition, respect, these are the things that ground our daily life. Taken away, I was left confused, bewildered, hungry.
THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
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PENULTIMATE
Tristan’s Angst
College Board Attempting World Domination In an act of intrepid investigative journalism, a team of Tattler ninja-journalists mounted a daring raid of the College Board’s headquarters in New York City, and found evidence that is just now being analyzed. “With all the money students pay to take SAT and AP exams, we weren’t sure just what we’d come across,” said team leader Francesca Chu ’18. “But our worst fears were confirmed when we had to slip through a web of lasers and henchmen-thug people armed with #2 pencils with poison tips, and cross a pool of hungry crocodiles.” Chu told a frightening story of College Board president David Coleman sitting on a throne built from stacked gold bars, while petting an evil looking cat and addressing a table of stern men in immaculate suits. “Believe it or not, they were all dressed as well as Max Fink ’17,” reported second-in-command Vaynu Kadiyali ’19. “This was really shocking and a big blow to my school pride.” “We can confidently say that at the meeting they were colluding with WikiLeaks and the Kremlin to remove their competition,” said Chu. “The WikiLeaks representative said they would release
a report documenting how taking the ACT harmed applicants’ chances of college acceptance.” More disturbingly, the team found evidence of College Board trying to infiltrate college admissions committees. “This was what really scared us,” said Chu. “If they could control who had access to higher education and top universities, they could control who could get many powerful jobs, and…” She trailed off as the full import of what she said came home. The team found that College Board operatives had specifically rejected or deferred many candidates from IHS. Jacob Silcoff ’17 had been deferred from MIT because in a report back to College Board HQ, one operative found him “far too rebellious and radically progressive to become part of the new global order. I mean seriously, you should see this dude’s application.” The team returned bloody and bruised; Kadiyali had been nipped by the crocodiles several times. They were clearly shaken, not stirred.
DECEMBER SUDOKU SOLUTIONS 6
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THE TATTLER • FEBRUARY 2017 • ihstattler.com
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Horoscopes By ABE MESSING
Aries (Mar. 21–Apr. 19): Someone running in place isn’t moving any faster than someone standing still. Taurus (Apr. 20–May 20): Silver bullets don’t exist. You’re better off trying to juggle spaghetti. You’re the teacher’s pet, but you’re also homeschooled. Gemini (May 21–June 20): Confusion or clarity? I’m not sure, but I’m certain it’s either one or the other. You’re trying to build with legos but all you have is duplos.
Cancer (June 21–July 22): Venus, your spirit mother, is calling to you this weekend. Despite your falling out with your “fun uncle,” expect to rekindle that flame over a friendly competitive game of mini golf. Leo (July 23–Aug. 22): Grab the bull by the horns and milk it for what it’s worth. The world is your oyster, you cunning cheat.
Virgo (Aug. 23–Sep. 22): For good luck, toss a packet of salt over your left shoulder and recite the four noble truths to yourself silently under your breath whenever you use the words “I” or “me” in a sentence - being less self-aggrandizing will prove virtuous. Libra (Sep. 23–Oct. 22): Giving up is an option, not a choice. Succeeding is a reward, not a prize. Be skeptical, not doubtful.
Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): Smell that? It’s fear, and you reek of it. Try deodorizing with a confident movement towards self-doubt. Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): Putting too much on your plate and then biting off more than you can chew is a recipe for disappointment. Pace yourself.
Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): You’re one of a kind, and trust me not everyone gets that type of a compliment. Make sure to like and subscribe <3 Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18): You’re one of a kind, and trust me not everyone gets that type of a compliment. Make sure to like and subscribe <3
Pisces (Feb. 19–Mar. 20): If you’re looking for answers, you’re in the wrong place. Try looking under the carpet or between some pillows, who knows, maybe you’ll find your keys while you’re at it. If you do I take all the credit and none of the responsibility©.
The COOLNESS SPECTRUM
COOL Espionage
Snow day
Women’s march
byo lunch boxes
The metric system
Egg salad
Petty library rules
Betsy DeVos
UNCOOL