June 2016 • Estd. 1892 • Vol. 123 #15 • Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com Ithaca High School, 1401 North Cayuga Street, Ithaca, NY 14850 • FREE
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
TAKING AN AP
LET THEM WATCH PORN
page 3
CHECK OUT OUR NEW LITERARY SECTION!
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page 16
AS A FRESHMAN
The Future of Chromebooks IMAGE BY MAGDA KOSSOWSKA
By JAMES PARK
CubeSat Club Wins International Competition, Has Goals for Next Year
A Chromebook is used during a student’s free period. The Google laptops have gone from a subject of skepticism to a frequently relied-on device.
As the school year winds down, it seems that teachers and students alike have adapted quite well to Chromebooks. Despite initial skepticism, as well as controversy over issues such as Chromebook “hacking” that pervaded the early months of the school year, most classes have found this new technology surprisingly effective, especially when used in conjunction with tools such as Google Classroom. As students find themselves continuously using their devices, however, rough use and accidents are beginning to make their mark. Cracked screens and missing keys have become a common sight on many Chromebooks, while missing screws, faulty trackpads, and occasional system crashes spring up as both major and minor annoyances. To what extent have our school laptops benefited the school, and will they be durable enough to withstand future use in the coming school years? Currently, Chromebook repairs are handled by a combination of students and IT staff at IHS. The students, working under the title of Chromebook Club and led by the librarCONTINUED ON PAGE 5
By JAMES YOON
On May 12, the IHS CubeSat Club was announced as one of the winners of the CubeSat Design Competition, which was held in The Museum of Science Fiction in Washington D.C. in partnership with NASA and Cornell University. The other winning contestants were students from Bowie High School in El Paso, Texas and Dulwich School in Suzhou, China. The Museum of Science Fiction held this competition with goals to reward small-scale approaches to designing spacecrafts and encourage future generations of researchers and space explorers. Entries to the CubeSat Design Competition consisted of a video and a 20-page report that contained graphics, a mission proposal, a description of the CubeSat’s technologies and its potential to become a new business enterprise, and an overview of the projected costs for manufacturing the satellite. They were judged based on creativity, potential for commercialization, technical viability, and budget realism. “A CubeSat is a nano- or pico-satellite that uses off-the-shelf technologies. Its goal is to support the consumer-based economy of space exploration,” said Isabel Dawson ’18, president of the IHS CubeSat Club. CubeSats measure 10 cm on each side and weigh less than 1.33 kilograms. They have been used to track asteroids, travel to other planets, and orbit the earth while providing data communications. In space, CubeSats are deployed using P-PODs (Poly-Picosatellite Orbital Deployers), which CONTINUED ON PAGE 5
OPINION
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
Editorial
Why Students Need Their Teachers to be Paid Better It’s no wonder that an increase in teacher salaries is universally supported by teachers. However, it is also in students’ best interest to have their teachers paid more. In recent years, ICSD has been scrutinized for its low teacher salaries, and for good reason. Despite IHS’s reputation for being an academically challenging school, teachers in the district still rank in the bottom 25 percent of salaries when compared to schools of similar size state-wide. ICSD approved a one-year collective bargaining agreement on March 8, 2016 that included a raise of 1.5 percent for all teachers. The last pay increase before that was a $1,000 add-on in 2009. The payrolls of ICSD’s teachers, many of whom have to work two jobs or are leaving the district in search of higher pay, are long overdue for some substantive increase. This would not only benefit those receiving the increased wages, but the students as well: the teacher turnover rates associated with low starting wages have an undeniable impact on the consistency of our learning environment. While a pay raise seems like a no-brainer to many people, there still exist reasons to argue against one. The rationale behind this opinion generally argues that ICSD is lacking in spending money, that pay increases do not necessarily correlate to better education, and that not all teachers deserve the pay increase based on some subpar performances. Some students believe that teachers who are poor at their jobs or don’t help them learn do not deserve a pay increase. Furthermore, the concern that a pay increase will not lead to higher levels of learning worries those who are wary of the school’s debt. Building a high-class gym, as well as other expenditures, has made ICSD’s budget rigid and precarious, leaving little room for pay increases. The most important point made here is that there is no guarantee that increasing teacher payrolls will allow them to teach better. Uneasiness about this makes the prospect of raising salaries less meaningful, and therefore less imperative. Granted, a pay raise may allow some undeserving teachers to slip through the cracks, but the overarching positives of the proposition outweigh its potential problems. With a raise, retention rates are sure to
go up. Our turnover rate from the 2015–16 academic year was 31 percent among teachers with fewer than five years of experience, meaning that teachers are coming and going relatively often. Although something like this may not seem like an issue on its face, the failure of these teachers to build connections or relationships could lead to teachers caring less and teaching more poorly. Students desire a classroom in which they feel comfortable and excited to work with their teacher, but this can’t be accomplished if new teachers are only being hired “temporarily.” Another issue is that many teachers are working two jobs. Many ICSD teachers find that a median annual salary of $51,000 is just not enough to support their lifestyles and families, especially with the starting salary being less than $40,000. A mediocre salary for a demanding job prompts teachers to constantly be on the lookout for other sources of income. Thus, they are less engaged and harder to contact outside of school, as well as less involved with students. The fact is that students end up being hurt by the unwillingness of their own district to pay its educators. The argument that paying teachers more does not correlate to stronger student performance is also silly. Veteran teachers who know how to teach well will most likely refuse to settle for a salary below what they were previously making. Not surprisingly, the starting salaries that ICSD is currently offering do not attract these types of teachers. Instead, inexperienced teachers fill the spots and the students suffer. And, according to an international study, countries outside of the U.S. whose teachers were paid 50–100 percent more than U.S. teachers had higher results on international exams and competitions. Higher pay for teachers certainly improves the performance of students. All things considered, higher-paid teachers positively affect the school environment, student performance, and our district as a whole. Not only do teachers deserve higher salaries, but it is mutually beneficial for both students and teachers alike. If the district were able to allocate more money in the direction of teacher salaries, the results would speak for themselves. Teachers are the keystone of the educational system and are long overdue for proper treatment.
Staff 2015 – 2016 Editor-in-Chief
John Yoon ’16 editor@ihstattler.com
News Editor
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Opinion Editor
Liz Rosen ’16 opinion@ihstattler.com
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Luca Greenspun ’17 sports@ihstattler.com
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Faculty Advisor
Deborah Lynn advisor@ihstattler.com The Tattler is the monthly student-run newspaper of Ithaca High School. All currently-enrolled students at Ithaca High School are welcome to submit writing and photographs. As an open forum, The Tattler invites opinion submissions and letters to the editor from all community members. Email submissions to editor@ihstattler.com or mail letters to: The Tattler 1401 North Cayuga Street Ithaca, NY 14850 Send submissions by August 18 to be included in the September 2016 issue. The Tattler reserves the right to edit all submissions. All articles, columns, and advertisements do not necessarily reflect the views of editorial staff. To read The Tattler online, visit our website at www.ihstattler.com.
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
NEWS
Editor-in-Chief
Daniel Xu ’17 editor@ihstattler.com
News Editor
James Yoon ’17 news@ihstattler.com
Opinion Editor
Luca Greenspun ’17 opinion@ihstattler.com
Features Editor
James Park ’17 features@ihstattler.com
Literary Editor
Emma Karnes ’17 literary@ihstattler.com
Arts Editor
Amalia Walker ’17 arts@ihstattler.com
Sports Editor
Ben Salomon ’17 sports@ihstattler.com
Back Page Editor
Abe Messing ’17 backpage@ihstattler.com
Center Spread Editor
Vaynu Kadiyali ’19 centerspread@ihstattler.com
Copy Editor
Casey Wetherbee ’17 copy@ihstattler.com
Photography Editor
Magda Kossowska ’19 photo@ihstattler.com
Graphics Editor
Olivia Moreland ’17 graphics@ihstattler.com
Layout Editor
Francesca Chu ’18 layout@ihstattler.com
Business and Advertising Manager
Andrew Stover ’17 business@ihstattler.com
Webmaster
Tristan Engst ’17 web@ihstattler.com
Distribution Managers
Thea Clarkberg ’18 Lucy Wang ’18 distribution@ihstattler.com
Social Media Manager
Annika Browning ’17 sm@ihstattler.com
Faculty Advisor
Deborah Lynn advisor@ihstattler.com
The Ups and Downs of Taking an AP as a Freshman By VAYNU KADIYALI
During this academic school year, IHS freshmen were given the opportunity to take AP World History, one of the most challenging of all social-studies AP courses with only about 6 percent of all test takers in 2015 receiving the maximum score of 5. Many students experienced the grind associated with balancing schoolwork with procrastination and extracurricular activities early on in their high-school careers. The selection process for the course was puzzling to most. While middle-school teachers encouraged students to take AP World History, letters from IHS students enrolled in the course offered gloomier prospects. Most complained of endless homework and overwhelming stress. These were only first of many challenges during the freshman experience before the course itself. Due to complications with the combined English and World History courses, many students found themselves unable to actually enroll, due to the computationally incorrect filling of earlier classes. They entered bewildered, and as the year progressed, bewildered they remained. I spoke with students taking the course and got their insights in the matter. “I was confused by the selection process because as our social studies teachers encouraged us to enroll in the course, we received letters from students who had taken the course cautioning us from taking it. The mixed messages we received made the process of taking an AP Course complicated.” There were three main challenges to the AP curriculum. First, the workload of taking an AP course was dreadful. While most classes in the past required less than half an hour per day of work, AP World requires at least one hour of homework a night, or more likely, five to seven on a single day of the weekend. It was most taxing in the beginning of the year when club attendance was required, the IHS building seemed foreign, and freshmen didn’t yet fully feel like a part of the community. “We had a grueling 5–6 hours of work each week. In addition to the time consuming guided notes, we had a multitude of small assignment. These small assignments felt unnecessary at the end of the year, teaching Global 1 topics which we absolutely did not need to know.” For many freshmen, another challenge in taking an AP course was the level of interaction
IMAGE BY JAMES YOON
Staff 2016 – 2017
among classmates and the style of teaching. Students needed broader historical knowledge and greater conceptual understanding to succeed, and standard teaching methods were ineffective in most cases. It was also challenging to constantly interact with peers, do simulations and group work more often than before, and consistently produce high-quality work despite varying grasps of the content among students. Lastly, the AP exam produced by the College Board was a slap in the face. Even for freshmen who were top-performing students in middle school, the exam was challenging. As freshmen emerged from the AP exam unsure of their scores, many were happy just having that looming date behind them. If they had not taken AP courses in our freshman year, this could have been different. The essay preparation in the Global 1 and 2 courses is successively more rigorous and would have left them better prepared to format essays and maximize time. “The hardest part of the AP Exam was structuring essays. The questions did not lend themselves to ease in essays. I didn’t feel prepared originally as we had previously had minimal World History and insufficient essay-writing instruction, and we were all playing catch-up. We were glad to be under good instruction.” However, taking AP World History fostered a tight-knit community among those taking it, as students met for two combined periods each day. The sense of uncertainty going into APs from middle-school instruction and the effort that was put in to maximize project grades also cultivated a sense of community. Confronting a college-level course in high school resulted in new in-class experiences and in the formation of a great community of classmates. “Despite all of the challenges, I enjoyed all of the lively discourse we had. Our teacher allowed the discussion to go, and it was humor and friendship which allowed us to persevere through this tough year.” The decision to allow freshmen to take an AP course this early on in their high school careers is one that will certainly derive controversy and has left many students less prepared to take exams. However, while it has placed many IHS students in challenging educational environments, many freshmen still value their experience as AP students.
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NEWS
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
The Cicadas Strike Back After Seventeen Years of Dormancy IMAGE PROVIDED
By MAGDA KOSSOWSKA
Periodical cicadas emerge from the earth from between the roots of trees where they spend most of their lives.
People are most likely accustomed to the drone of cicadas during sweltering summer nights. These are annual cicadas, as opposed to periodical cicadas, which only appear above ground in 13- and 17-year cycles in Eastern North America. Periodical cicadas come in swarms of billions and bring a much louder buzz than what people are used to. These periodical members of the genus Magicicada spend their years underground as maturing nymphs, feeding on nutrients from plant roots and tubers. On one hand, nymphs feed on nutrients at the roots of trees, hindering their growth, and adult females damage young trees while laying eggs. On the other hand, some weaker branches of trees may be trimmed by the cicadas, similar to pruning, and they aerate the soil around plants.They emerge all at once in late spring and molt, transforming into adult cicadas; they spend no more than a few weeks as adults to mate and reproduce before dying, returning nutrients in their remains to the soil. This unusual life cycle most likely evolved as a response to the ice ages. Cicadas spend most of their lives below the frost line and reemerge when stimulated by soil temperature of approximately 64 degrees Fahrenheit. The cicada life cycle may also be a mechanism for avoiding predation. Since 13 and 17 are both prime numbers, it is far less likely that a species would evolve with a similar life cycle to rely on the Magicicada as a fixed food source. Periodical cicadas are grouped into broods based on the year during which they emerge. This spring, Brood V is appearing in areas throughout the Appalachian Mountains from Lake Erie to Virginia, with the highest concentrations in Ohio and West Virginia. This brood, which has not emerged since 1999, contains three of the seven Magicicada species. It is not prom-
inent in New York, except for in one area in Long Island (the next brood to inundate New York will be in 2018). Periodical cicadas have often been mistakenly compared to plagues of locusts. However, unlike destructive swarms of grasshoppers, periodical cicadas and their cycles have become functioning components of ecosystems. Magicicada species rely on predator satiation: the appearance in vast numbers to reduce the overall percentage of cicadas killed. Aside from ensuring the survival of individuals that can pass on their genes, this makes periodical cicadas a food source that is able to feed a variety of opportunistic consumers. Periodical cicadas are no strangers to changes in climate. Their unique life cycles, based on glacial periods caused by changes in the Earth’s orbit, can most likely be attributed to environmental changes. Now, Magicicada species must face Anthropocene climate change, and they will not go unaffected. Annually rising temperatures will change when soil temperatures are optimal for the cicadas’ emergence, thus leading to earlier arrivals of the swarming insects. It is possible that early appearances could even be several years out of schedule. What is even more dire is the acceleration of climate change at a pace faster than the cicadas can evolve. If the population density of a brood is too low, the effects of climate change—rising sea levels, temperature changes, species extinction, habitat destruction, and so on—could very well wipe out the genus. Entomologists and insect enthusiasts alike track the areas and dates of emergence of periodical cicadas with aid from websites on which people can report sightings. The ascent of specific broods gives researchers fleeting opportunities to study these unique species before the next generations of Magicicada return to the earth.
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
NEWS
PAGE 5 “CUBESAT” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
ians, handle most of the system errors (often marked by a “Chrome OS not found” on the screen) that pop up from time to time, usually when a Chromebook loses power in the middle of an update. “We’ve had considerable success with the club,” said IHS librarian Michele Barr, who started the club with the help of Mr. Trumble and Code Red Robotics students. “We’ve even had Luvelle Brown come in and see us at work.” IT staff, meanwhile, handles serious physical damage inflicted upon the laptops, the most frequent of which are cracked screens. Around 400 Chromebooks have been turned in for physical repairs, while a similar amount have been sent in for digital repairs. The general rule for repairs seems to be that devices will not be tossed unless absolutely necessary, for example, if one comes in completely smashed to pieces. Impressive effort has gone into thinking of more sustainable ways to keep a Chromebook running. The glass screens of the school laptops damage easily, but purchasing from a third-party company has allowed the school to replace these screens with more durable plexiglass covers. Perhaps the greatest aid in maintaining Chromebook durability is the introduction of a new model altogether. Compared to the sleek, flat design of the majority of Chromebooks present in the high school, some are more bulky and sturdy, able to withstand more punishment. Although no plans have been made to completely switch to this other model, unusable Chromebooks will likely be traded off for these as time passes. A question often asked is whether students will retain their Chromebooks during the summer, Librarian Armin Heurich said. As of now, the issue is undecided. A definite advantage of turning in the laptops is that they can be safely organized and repaired for the next year. After all, with the district wanting Chromebooks to remain in circulation for the full span of their estimated three-year lifetime, the best way to account for all devices would be to keep them under lock and key. On the other hand, such a decision could cause an economic strain. The tech department, as with all others, has a certain annual budget it cannot exceed, Heurich said. Putting in the resources in an attempt to fix all Chromebooks over the summer could prove troublesome during the actual school year if more problems arise. The library will also find itself inundated with students requiring assistance. As the go-to place to have a faulty Chromebook fixed, the first few months will be hectic ones as unexpected crashes and breakages greet the returning students, whether they turn in their devices during the summer or not. All these factors have led to a back-and-forth debate on the issue. This year, Chromebooks have at least helped alleviate some prominent problems of the past. One such problem is the generation of paper waste. Although administrators could not be reached for exact data, many students claimed their classes have seen a significant decrease in paperwork, with most assignments being turned in electronically. Heurich remarked how the main recycling bin for the school, which in previous years was often overflowing at the end of each day, was now barely a quarter full after school. For IT and library staff as well, the laptops have somewhat alleviated the complexity of their work. In past years, as upperclassmen are sure to remember, the desktop computers found in the library and technology departments were untrustworthy, slow, and prone to dozens of possible errors. From being unable to connect to the WiFi or printers to frequent freezing when starting up or shutting down, diagnosing a problem included a great deal of frustration for both students and staff. The Chromebooks offer a solution for these problems. “The problem is going to be network, physical damage, or your account. That’s it,” said Heurich, who finds the switch into Chromebooks excellent, having pushed for greater computer integration for years. And with each of these problems usually requiring little more than a few resets, upkeep has become a less arduous task overall. “Chromebooks have allowed me to do a lot less troubleshooting [computers] and more time being a librarian,” Heurich added cheerfully. The future of Chromebooks seems to be a promising one, and will hopefully fully integrate itself with the ICSD community in the upcoming year.
ensure that all satellites conform to standardized physical requirements. While CubeSats must have a certain size, shape, and mass to be allowed as auxiliary payloads on rockets, their versatility and potential for innovation is endless. “You can do whatever you want within the size and shape limitations,” said Kurt Manrique Niño ’16, a member of the club. The IHS club’s CubeSat, CayugaSat, is most unique for the way it accelerates. It has 4 by 4.5 m solar sails, which are a form of spacecraft propulsion driven by radiation pressure exerted by sunlight as photons hit the sails. Ikaros, a Japanese spacecraft deployed on June 14, 2010, to travel to Venus, was the first spacecraft to successfully use this technology. The CayugaSat has three CubeSat units and is about 30 cm by 10 cm by 10 cm, weighing just about 4 kilograms. Its production budget ended up being about $6,800, well below the $10,000 limit set by the Museum of Science Fiction. The winning teams of the competition will attend an award ceremony at the Escape Velocity science-fiction convention on July 2, 2016, held in National Harbor, MD. There, hundreds will gather to participate in a science fair and to hear keynote presentations from Rod Roddenberry, the son of Gene Roddenberry (the creator of the original Star Trek television series), and Adam Nimoy, the son of Leonard Nimoy (the actor who played Spock), to celebrate Star Trek’s 50th anniversary. The CayugaSat concept will be sent to Cornell University, where it will be adapted into a working spacecraft. NASA will launch the satellite into earth’s orbit through its CubeSat Launch Initiative. “That was my main motivation to start this club. Who wouldn’t want to have something of their own sent to space?” Dawson said. Although the team members enjoyed working on their concept and design, with little background in astronautical engineering, they found their experience challenging. “Ultimately,” Manrique Niño said, “this project was an academic endeavor more than anything. I stepped into this project with absolutely no prior knowledge about satellites and astronomy. Since, in space, there is no air resistance of any kind, we had to work in a completely different environment. I spent so much time online to get better educated.” The IHS CubeSat club is planning on continuing into next year. “We hope to make the club a lot bigger. We also want to spend more time discussing the future of space travel and not just designing CubeSats,” Dawson said. Club members also want to challenge stigmas attached to engineering and hope to collaborate with clubs such as Code Red Robotics to build as well as design. “There were two girls other than myself who came to this club and both dropped out. It’s a big goal of ours to get girls involved in this club next year,” Dawson said.
IMAGE PROVIDED
“CHROMEBOOKS” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
NanoSail-D, a small satellite launched in 2010 that is very similar to the CayugaSat concept.
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
OPINION
Projected Electoral College: Clinton vs. Trump By VAYNU KADIYALI
IMAGE PROVIDED
As the 2016 Democratic and Republican primaries wind down, the second-lightest color on the map. This will result in states two clear victors have emerged. On the Republican side, Donald such as Georgia and Missouri, both of which have large minority Trump managed an overwhelming, unprecedented victory, us- and suburban voting blocs, leaning in favor of Clinton despite a ing rhetoric cultivated by the GOP in previous years to upset the generally conservative disposition in state politics. field of 16 other Republican candidates while somehow winning Trump’s isolation of key voting groups will result in problems almost every demographic group along his quixotic journey. In in more than just traditional swing states. This was evident in a the Democratic Party, the youthful and populist appeal of Bernie Deseret News Poll in Utah, one of the nation’s safest red states, Sanders proved little match for Hillary Clinton, who as of May led where Clinton led Trump by two points. Trump’s disadvantages Sanders by over 300 pledged delegates and almost 500 superdel- among suburban voters will result in competition in states such egates, totaling at nearly a third of the delegates needed for the as Arizona and Indiana, the latter of which Obama won in 2008 nomination. Every remaining primary brings us closer to a Clin- as a result of similar factors. Similarly, the South’s high prevaton vs. Trump general election scenario, which begs the question: lence of African-American voters—almost hitting 40 percent in what will the electoral map in 2016 look like? Mississippi and Louisiana—could pose a challenge for RepubliThe United States’ electoral college is a body in which for the cans, as high turnout in these communities along with low turnmost part, a fixed number of delegates, calculated statewide by out among disenfranchised Republican voters could flip states in adding up the number of U.S. Senators (2 per state) and U.S. Con- ways they haven’t even been close to doing since the 1980s. While gresspeople (1–53 per state), are given in a winner-take-all man- it is likely these states will stick to their general voting trends, ner to the statewide the GOP needs to immewinner of the presidiately begin targeting dential election. This them to avoid an utter system often leads to calamity in November. a much larger margin Trump will need to win of victory in delegate all of the lightly shaded count compared to states, as well as make that of the popular significant inroads in vote, as many states states where he polls will give all their badly below Clinton delegates to winners such as North Carolina in tightly contested and Colorado. “swing states” where However, the slate the margin of victory also presents challenges is frequently below for Hillary Clinton. Firstfive points. ly, she is vastly unpopMy forecast for ular among American this year’s general voters. While it is noelection is shown in where as low as that of the map above. States Donald Trump, Clinton’s shown in the secpopularity ratings are The projected electoral college for the 2016 presidential election. ond-darkest shade among the worst since are states that will reliably go for Trump based on demograph- Carter’s unsuccessful reelection bid against Reagan. The success ics, voting trends and opinion polling, and states in black are the of Tea Party politics in Iowa, Michigan, and Wisconsin and the same for Clinton. The paler states are states which will be more general quirkiness of New Hampshire’s voting trends will create highly contested but as of now will likely vote Republican (light- trouble for Clinton in states that went for Obama in both of his est) or Democrat (second-lightest). successful presidential election campaigns. She will need to unify This hypothetical map looks very similar to that for the 2008 the Democratic Party and maximize turnout, but not move so far general election. The reasons for swing states in both maps, like left as to isolate independents and moderates, in order to not only Florida, Ohio, Virginia, North Carolina, and Nevada, going Dem- win the general election but dominate state by state. ocratic are the same: a Republican candidate who is unable to The 2016 general election is bound to be a spectacle. Both attract certain factions of the party. In 2008, McCain’s appeal presumptive candidates are unpopular, needing to improve proamong conservatives was low as he moved to the left of the po- jection, the electoral college breaks down at a whopping 373 for litical spectrum in the fall, leading to low turnout among evangel- Clinton and 165 for Trump, though it will be up to the candidates icals and fiscal conservatives; this year, Trump’s disparagement to unify their party, provide a clear and inclusive message for inof minorities and criticism of many prominent Republicans will dependent voters, and refine public image and party values to result in the isolation of establishment voters, very conservative cater not only to factions of the American electorate, but to the voters, women, and independents, leading to the large swaths of nation as a whole.
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
Passion, Publicity, and Purges By CHLOE WRAY, Staff Writer
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Why Transcendental Nature Writing is Dead and What You Can Do to Bring it Back By LUCA GREENSPUN
To men like Ralph Waldo Emerson and Edward Everett, being overcome with the visceral beauty of nature was as good as popping a Quaalude and scoping out bikini models on Venice Beach. In the 1830s, men who were sick of the tedium of the organized religion that so inhibited intellectual expression and creative freedom formed the transcendentalist movement. While it was not quite as widespread or revolutionary as the counterculture movement of the 1960s, it may well have been its ancestor: born out of Enlightenment ideals, transcendentalism valued the individual and his relationship with nature. However lofty the movement’s focus may seem, the transcendentalists focused chiefly on deriving knowledge and art from one’s inner self.
IMAGE BY LUCA GREENSPUN
According to those who have been around long enough to remember pre-Obama elections, this election is unlike any other. Maybe it’s the increased media presence in all of our lives. Maybe it’s the endless issues surrounding the environment and an increasingly globalized society. Maybe it’s Donald Trump, who according to conservative Paul Ryan “lacks conservative principles” (BBC), among many other things. Maybe it’s Bernie Sanders, a self-described “democratic socialist,” whose political affiliation seems to scare many, especially baby boomers raised during the Cold War to fear communism. Or maybe it’s Hillary Clinton, the first female presidential candidate to become a serious competitor in the race to becoming Commander-in-chief. Whether it’s because of passion or publicity, this election has garnered the attention of high-school students and new voters across the country, making them genuinely feel as if politics are relevant to them and that their vote will count. This election season has brought many developments, good and bad, but one of the major questions that has arisen is this: how democratic, or even rigged, is our political system? In this election of firsts, the New York primary was for once regarded as one of importance. Generally, by the time New York gets its turn to vote on nominees for the two parties, a clear lead has been established among competitors. While Trump was leading the Republican field by a long shot before the New York primary, Hillary had won only 18 states to Bernie’s 15. For Bernie, New York would have been a “YUGE” win, closing the gap even further and solidifying the fact that he is a real threat to Hillary’s campaign. Hillary ended up taking New York with 139 delegates while Bernie still acquired a respectable 108—in other words, 1,054,083 to 763,469 votes (New York Times). So why didn’t Bernie win New York, especially when his campaign was gaining intense momentum and his following in Brooklyn and New York City at large was gigantic? Maybe Hillary would have won New York no matter what, but the 120,000-plus Brooklyn residents (CNN) who were unable to cast their votes in the primary must be taken into consideration. For vague reasons such as voter inactivity or after-mailings being bounced back from their addresses (CNN), these voters—primarily Ber-
OPINION
Mulholland Wildflower Preserve located on Giles Street, across from First Dam.
Walt Whitman, whom one may call the first true hippie, was a poet born of these ideas, and wrote a great many poems about nature. He wrote all of them with three essential things: dirt under his butt, pencil in his hand, and journal on his knees (clothes, however, were not essential; in fact, writing poetry in the woods naked would be quite a transcendental move, although possibly too progressive for the scholars of the 19th century). A great many decades after Whitman’s time, Jack Kerouac, a Beat writer popular in the 50s and 60s, came out with his book On the Road, which was written entirely on a scroll. Kerouac, like Whitman, wrote a great deal about nature and all its beauties (read The Dharma Bums if you’re interested). Though Kerouac, unlike Whitman, worked on a typewriter, he still held more in common with writers like Whitman than he does the writers of today. While yes, Kerouac used a keyboard very similar to the one I’m typing on as I write this article, he did not have the phosphorescent glow of a screen drawing his eyes away from the green of the forest or the babbling creek flowing high on the Matterhorn. To write about nature one must first be immersed in nature. One must feel the Lyme-bearing ticks crawling onto their skin as they write, one must hear the trickle of the stream as it plays its timeless tune over rocks and sediment, one must use a keen eye to notice the fly-entrapping web as it, for only a second, is illuminated by the sun and then hidden again. And it is nearly impossible to immerse oneself in nature when there is a computer screen acting as a barrier. To truly write a description of the natural world around you, it must be the only thing around you. These days, so many of us feel so compelled to do all our writing on our computers. If a description of a deer prancing through a forest clearing is written 24 hours after it is witnessed, then it becomes less visceral and loses the characteristics so coveted by the old transcendentalists: a crude, uncut connection with nature and a release of one’s inner spirit. Any work done later on a computer is too thoughtful and too inorganic. To truly write an account of nature, one must transcend, leaving the computer at home and bringing along a pencil, some paper, and a willingness to release one’s inner spirit and let one’s soul intertwine wholesomely with the vines and branches of the trees.
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
Let Them Watch Porn While I haven’t sawed my Chromebook in half yet (shoutout to the guy who did that—you know who you are), I’ll admit that every time that infuriating cartoonish lock pops up I get pretty close. After having educational material blocked—things like APUSH review videos and team-working tools such as the chat feature on Docs (which apparently can’t be unblocked because it counts as a “social media”)—I’ve just about had it with government control of my internet access. So why exactly is it that Chromebooks are so locked-down? It certainly isn’t because the district is worried about a 16-year-old reviewing for APUSH with a video that “may be inappropriate,” or going onto the BBC website at the beginning of the year to read about the immigration crisis in Europe. The answer, sadly, has nothing to do with our school district. Federal laws including the Children’s Internet Protection Act (CIPA) force Internet restrictions on any schools or libraries receiving government grants for Internet access. The fact is, our IT department has its hands bound. Strangely, this simple and reasonable explanation is never really given to us, with administrators preferring to take personal credit for restrictions, touting how they “protect” students. This nonsensical claim gets brought up in some way or another every time I bring up blocked websites and services with administrators or IT staff. The fact is, restrictions have no intrinsic value—they certainly don’t keep us “safe”—and without external pressures such as federal monetary incentives or angry parents, the only reasonable stance would be to leave the Internet uncensored. To understand this, let’s look at the “worst-case scenario” that everyone likes to bring up: pornography. Nothing seems to scare the government more than the idea of kids viewing graphic images and videos on computers provided to them by their schools. At this point, every student reading this will gently facepalm with a good deal of skepticism—who in their right minds would watch porn on a Chromebook when over 90 percent of teens have a smartphone or access to another computer? People are so worried of being spied on by the district that stickynotes over webcams
By JACOB SILCOFF
have become a common way to personalize district tech. Are we seriously catering policy around the 1 percent of students who would watch porn? I think not. “But wait!” cry our school’s administrators. “What about the profound damaging effects that porn has on children?” While this claim can certainly be backed up by some studies—the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CALCASA) provides one study from Child Abuse Review 2008 that found a relationship between porn use and intensified sexist attitudes and increased rates of sexual assault—the fact is that no scientific consensus has been reached and there is no reason to believe that porn is unhealthy or damaging. Indeed, CALCASA also presents a meta-analysis (a synthesis of all major studies on a certain topic) from Aggression and Violence Behavior that suggests the evidence of an association between porn viewing and sexual assault is weak in all studies, this association being alternately found positive and negative from study to study. They conclude that “it is time to discard the hypothesis that pornography contributes to increased sexual assault behavior.” According to The Scientist, “No correlation has been found between exposure to porn and negative attitudes towards women.” Furthermore, a Danish study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior of over 600 men and women found that “porn did not yield any negative mental or health effects”, and a variety of research shows that masturbation can decrease risk of prostate cancer by one-third in men, decrease risk of erectile dysfunction, reduce period cramps, dampen cravings for unhealthy foods, and boost immunity. Perhaps instead of taking cautious measures to the point of literally blocking google.com, the district should be encouraging students to masturbate. This, of course, is not to mention the fact that right now anyone can access porn on Twitter, which for some reason the district deems acceptable. This is not conjecture; it’s a veritable fact that porn accounts on Twitter are totally unblocked on Chromebooks. Sure, it’s porn, but Twitter is educational, right? This foolproof logic is brought to you by the same district that also treats the chat feature on Docs as an unsafe social medium.
The other major concern that administrators have with an unfiltered Internet is the distraction posed by video games. The district is so worried about this that they went so far as to block the dinosaur game, an Easter egg in Chrome that lets you jump a dinosaur over cactuses while the Internet is down. Every student in the district can see the stupidity in this: the very notion that the district could prevent us from playing games such as Tetris, Pokemon, or The Binding of Isaac is laughable. The efforts of the IT staff to censor games is futile since you can add the word “unblocked” to a Google query and play just about any game you want. As for the notion that these games could provide a distraction in class, I would argue that most teachers in the district can tell when students are playing video games and can stop them fairly quickly. Finally, there are a number of clear benefits the district gains by removing restrictions. Firstly, far fewer students would feel a need to hack their computers (which I’m told is costly and difficult to undo—luckily the district is solving this issue with a genius, high-tech solution: stickers to prevent the removal of screws), saving the IT department time and money. Secondly, never again would teachers and students have their learning disrupted by blocked educational websites, which have derailed my teachers’ plans quite frequently this year. Lastly, and quite importantly, monitoring Internet usage without forcing students to access certain websites will give the district better insight into Internet use problems faced by students. If kids play games on their Chromebooks instead of their phones, teachers can see this and do what they are paid to do: teach good habits about time management and Internet usage. If students are indulging in unsafe behavior on their Chromebooks, administrators can find out and get that child help. If, on the other hand, students did the same thing on their own device due to Internet restrictions, the district would never be able to find out or get that child help. Mistakes are necessary to learning, but under the current status quo, the district is preventing a valuable conversation from taking place by limiting freedom and choice. When it comes to the safety of our students, the decision is clear: let them watch porn.
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
OPINION
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Emojis: Not Destroying Language as We Know It
IMAGE PROVIDED
By JULIA MILLER
These seemingly innocuous smileys have been dubbed a “linguistic Armageddon.”
Just as our society is beginning to accept the fact that texting is not destroying the written word, it seems to have fixated its blame on a new source of language slaughter: the emoticon. These seemingly innocuous smileys have been dubbed a “linguistic Armageddon” (BBC) and blamed in part for our generation’s lack of open emotion and inability to express nuanced thought. Some particularly pessimistic onlookers have speculated that the emoji might replace actual writing and that our noble language will descend into an unsophisticated system of animated pictographs. The last claim, at least, is highly unlikely. The general consensus among linguists seems to be that emojis constitute something of a pidgin language—a way to communicate simplistic and highly tangible concepts with very little structure or inflection. While some pidgin languages have gone on to become fully functional languages with distinguishable tenses and the capability of expressing abstract concepts, the development of a language consisting entirely of emojis would be next to impossible. A crucial characteristic of developing languages is the ability of its speakers to quickly expand its vocabulary, which is not possible with emojis. Rather than creating new words from distinct sounds or modifying existing words, people attempting to communicate with emojis must make do with the limited number of symbols available. While developers could certainly add new emojis to our devices, the effort required to select the right one would make emojis an impractical system of communication. A language based solely on emojis is very unlikely to become a reality, but their use is undoubtedly having an effect on pre-existing languages. The symbols are typically used to supplement text by suggesting tone or emotion, which has prompted critics to dismiss emoji users as lazy or incompetent in their use of language. They argue that any sufficiently coherent writer should be able to make their opinion clear without relying on the use of images. This makes complete sense in a formal setting; I wouldn’t want to read a book punctuated by emojis. However, in everyday life, people use gestures and facial expressions to condition their speech. The absence of such nonverbal cues in writing would seem to require a greater degree of precision in word choice; that said, correct grammar and precise syntax rarely occur in texts and instant messages. That’s not because people are incapable of articulate thought, but because this type of language is closer to casual speech than to, say, the writing in a novel. The spontaneity and fast pace of casual conversation doesn’t provide an environment for someone to create beautiful prose, so it’s logical that texters find a way to make sure the intent behind their words is understood. Since the people on either end of the messaging feed can’t see each other, sending symbols to convey emotion makes perfect sense. Emojis do have an impact on modern language, but it’s far from a destructive one. Like the nonverbal cues that accompany spoken language, emojis provide a little bit of additional context for a quick and casual written word.
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
“VOTER PURGE” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7
nie supporters (New Yorker)—were denied the right to vote. This “purge” of voters was another hit to New York residents and the Bernie campaign after many who were registered as independents had to register as Democrats by October 9 (The Guardian), back when many did not recognize Bernie’s potential. This led to a significant loss of would-be Bernie voters. Especially because the New York primary had never been significant, many independents who had preferred to remain unaffiliated prior to the election would have voted for Bernie had New York not had such strict voting regulations. Aside from the disdain for New York’s closed primary, victims of the purge and their allies were outraged at the undemocratic nature of the whole election. Polling centers outside of New York City, which have historically been open from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m., changed their hours to 12 p.m. to 9 p.m. (abc7NY), making it much more difficult for voters working two jobs (and others facing different circumstances) to vote. As written in the Los Angeles Times, “Sanders had hoped New York would show he had made inroads with the nonwhite and women voters crucial to victory. But exit polls showed only 25 percent of blacks and 37 percent of Latinos sup-
Heroes
porting him, a crippling blow in a party that depends heavily on minority voters.” Perhaps exit polls were so low due to the highly restrictive polling-place hours that had the power to limit voting by many minorities, which was mostly to the detriment of Bernie’s fight to win the primary. Hillary may have held a seat in the Senate for New York, and she may have won 58 percent of NYC’s vote (U.S. News), but had New York been an open primary, Bernie’s chance of winning would have been almost guaranteed: 27 percent of New York’s registered voters were unable to vote as independents (The Nation) and most independents choose to remain unaffiliated, instead searching for the most progressive of candidates who does not necessarily line up with either party. In this election, tensions run high as strong allegiances to candidates have sparked conflict. Even for Trump fans, the democratic process comes into question as it is debated whether the GOP will block Trump’s nomination and chose another Republican candidate for the general election. From purges to publicity, Americans are passionate about their candidates, and in an election so highly contested, we can expect change, and—in the words of Bernie— hope for a political revolution.
&
Villains IMAGE PROVIDED
IMAGE PROVIDED
Caceres in the Rio Blanco Region of Honduras in 2006.
Poe speaking at Capitol Hill Club on June 13, 2013.
Environmental activist Berta Caceres, who worked tirelessly to defend the lands of indigenous peoples in her native Honduras and who was shot and killed on March 3 in her sleep in her home in La Esperanza, Honduras.
Congressman Ted Poe (R-TX), who thinks U.S. citizens should be allowed to sue Saudi Arabia on account of the 9/11 attacks.
Cheerios, which recently opened over 3,000 acres of habitat for honeybees to pollinate freely.
Donald Trump, who calls himself “the least racist person you have ever met” and whose path, as of June, is bringing him closer to the presidency than most previously thought possible.
Prince.
Luma Mufleh, who for 12 years has dedicated her life to ensuring safe and enjoyable lives for young refugees from the Middle East. She lives in Clarkston, Georgia.
The 16 U.S. military operatives who are facing charges for illegally bombing a Doctors Without Borders hospital in Afghanistan, killing 42 civilians.
Macedonia, which since March has closed its borders to all migrants, including Syrian refugees.
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
FEATURES
Teacher Feature: Richard Anderson
IMAGE BY PEARSE ANDERSON
Richard Anderson, a long-standing English teacher at IHS, will be retiring after this year. He has a new novel coming out within the next year and bold plans for travel abroad. His speech bobs and weaves in his search for adequate diction, and his allusions to classical works run rampant. This is an interview that gets to the root of one of IHS’s most tenured educators.
Mr. Anderson, a retiring English teacher, poses for a photo on November 16, 2015.
Luca Greenspun ’17: Where were you born and raised? Richard Anderson: I was born in Watertown, New York, in 1943... [long pause] and spent my first twelve years there, Watertown, going through a lot of foster homes. My mom died before I was born so my dad was my sole caretaker, and [chuckle] that didn’t work out terribly well. I got a sort of Charles Dickens education as a youngster: living in adult homes, some of which were generous and kind, and some of which were rather brutal. In Watertown, there’s a lot of corn-growing and gardening and agriculture and in the summertime, people who need extra bodies to lug and haul, they go to social services. So I went to a
By LUCA GREENSPUN
whole bunch of places and there was no kind-of-a-home.
LG: Tell me about your formal education: where did you start, what schools did you attend? What was your higher education? RA: Right. After I finished high school— and I was very good in high school—I took a number of AP classes at the end, best of which was Latin. I’ve gotten continually glad I took that and did very well, and when I got out of high school graduation was smooth, etcetera etcetera etcetera, but I did not know what I wanted to do. So I took a long hiatus to kind of find my way. And that eventually ended with a total surprise to myself, along with my friends and colleagues, when I volunteered for the Marine Corps. I did that, I enlisted for three years, mostly because I knew that if I hung around Ithaca and partied I was going to probably make that my life’s work; because it was bloody fun and I had wonderful friends. So I just wanted to walk out of that picture and I wanted to go to something totally unknown. So I found myself. I enlisted for three years. In that time, on the government’s money, I saw Okinawa, I saw Japan, I saw Florida. And I had not traveled until that point. So all of a sudden I’m getting a very different context, culturally speaking, in which to kind of see where I was as a human being. Learned some Japanese. So that was a success. I was incredibly lucky not to have an extension on my voluntary time and go to Vietnam. Many of my friends did. Then the hippie in me came out. The Vietnam years where we all did things that I’ll not mention in this interview, to kind of put [the war] away [trailing off ]. Put that nightmare away. So the Vietnam era, and I was decidedly a happy, protesting, go-ahead-and-spray-stuff-inmy-face in New York City. We’ll always be on the bus! We’ll always be singing Bob Dylan! And we’ll always tell you that you suck, government! LG: Right on. What is, would you say, your crowning achievement? RA: That I have become an excellent
teacher is my crowning achievement and I am extremely satisfied in that role. I’ve loved doing it, and now I’m loving that I won’t be doing it after this year. And there’s no contradiction in terms, it’s that there’s a whole new pattern open and the time to do it, and [I’m lucky to have] the finances to go to Paris this summer and stay for ten days. A lot of travel, a lot of things to do, a lot of time and finances to do them with; I feel blessed and I feel extraordinarily lucky. And to have had a career that made me grow as a human being, and helped other people grow as human beings, has been just immensely satisfying. So I’m a lucky and a happy dude. LG: Happy camper? RA: [grinning] Happy camper.
LG: So your plans for after IHS include travel… RA: That would be the biggy. I am now seriously considering and investigating the possibilities of the trip to Paris with my sister-in-law, who is coming at the end of the summer—leaves me time to investigate other possibilities, which I don’t want to lock in necessarily. But I want this option, that option, that option. We’ll see. And the first one that I’m exploring is [pause for suspense] teaching English in France. And how to get one’s name established in that roll call, if you will. The research I’ve done on it to this point, that teaching abroad thing, is: whoa! Paris needs all kinds of teachers, tutors, etc. Or those who want English skills, speaking and writing skills. So it’s a rather larger market. It just came to me one day as a sort of peripheral thought of “Hmm, what if I want to stay in [Paris].” So that is now what I’m very psyched and excited about. And I will be sending in an application for teaching abroad. LG: Best of luck. RA: Thank you.
LG: I know you have a novel coming out soon; tell us about that. RA: It is delightful to just be engaged in CONTINUED ON PAGE 15
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Stay Motivated with Summer Writing Once again, we find ourselves at the brink of summer, no doubt exhausted from 40 weeks of school. Although many will certainly enjoy a few months of relaxation before the onslaught of the upcoming school year, others may find that the lack of work can prove to be quite tedious. For those of you who feel a creative urge coming out in your plentiful downtime, I suggest trying creative writing. Obviously, writing isn’t usually the first thing that comes to mind when finding a way to kill time, but writing for fun is significantly different from writing an essay for class. There’s a lot less stress involved; there are no deadlines you need to meet, no picky guidelines to follow. Everything is up to you, from your subject matter to the length of your works, and this simple change is often enough to draw forth an idea that you never felt motivated enough to develop before. Getting started may be a bit difficult, and you may feel under- or overwhelmed by your thoughts. Take the time to sort them out, and don’t be afraid to branch out multiple plotlines. It takes effort to find the perfect story. Even if you only have a vague outline, write out as much as you can from that idea and develop on it. Write the introduction of a story and mess around with different characters, or sketch out a quick stanza and see if the lines flow well. Your first draft probably won’t look great, but that’s okay. Out of the mess you’ll salvage one or two good things you hadn’t noticed before. Through this write-and-recycle method, you’ll eventually get a clearer idea of what you like and what you’re good at writing. Take note of these strong points and use them as much as possible. If you become confident in your skills, try to write more seriously with a definite goal in mind. Challenging but reasonable objectives can provide a push towards finishing a work. Five or six hours every week is not all that much, but is plenty of time to flesh out your literary works. As you write, you will become frustrated. Your brain will empty itself of any inspiration, or the words you type will seem awkward or forced. Discouragement is something that all writers face in their lives. But if you find yourself losing it over your writing, take a break. After all, you’re writing for your own recreation. Enjoy the hot summer days without worry, but at the same time pay attention to the events occurring around you. As lame as it may sound, small adventures or interactions with your friends can be all you need for a sudden stroke of genius. Writing about situations you’ve been in can also help to transfer your thoughts into words. As for sharing your writing, that’s up to you. Your parents or friends can be excellent—if slightly daunting— sources of encouragement and suggestions. If you receive criticism, don’t let it get to you. Think over complaints from others, but if they don’t follow your own style, then keep what you have. Small edits can vastly improve your perception of writing and how to develop a unique personality. And who knows; when the 2016–17 school year rolls around, maybe you’ll feel confident enough to publish your work in The Tattler.
Student Feature: Joshua Ryan By STERLING WILLIAMS-CECI
When I first heard about a student named Joshua Ryan, who apparently hunted for his own food and used very little technology, I knew that he would be a perfect person to interview. I can confidently say that Joshua is one of the most eccentric and interesting people I’ve met here at IHS, but I had never heard his name before during my three years spent at this school. Oftentimes, it is easy for certain students to take the spotlight— maybe as a result of taking more classes or participating in extracurriculars—while many others slip under the radar. However, it is important for all students to remember that we are a diverse body, all coming from different backgrounds and with different stories to share. I interviewed Joshua to find out if he indeed hunts his meals and uses relatively little technology—he does both—and found out a lot of interesting parts of his personality that make him who he is. Sterling Williams-Ceci What grade are you in? Joshua Ryan ’18: Tenth.
’17:
SW: I’ve heard that you use very little technology compared to most teenagers; is this true? How do you feel about technology and its rise in teenagers’ lives? JR: Yes, I use little technology. I have a phone, but not much social media, and I don’t use anything else. I see technology as being a waste of time; there are other, more important stuff that people can be doing with their time than using technology. Like being outside.
SW: I’ve also heard that you hunt prey as your food source; is this true? Do you prefer to eat food you’ve hunted yourself compared to food that you’d buy at a
IMAGE BY STERLING WILLIAMS-CECI
By JAMES PARK
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
Joshua Ryan ’18 in the IHS Cafeteria on Wednesday, May 18, 2016.
store, and why? JR: Yes, I hunt for my food. I feel like hunting is hard work, but it’s also fun. I also think that venison is just better than beef you’d buy at the supermarket. I’ve been hunting for a while, and I guess it’s just something that’s pleasing to me.
SW: What else about you makes you a unique person to interview? JR: Not much… I guess fishing. I do fly fishing as a hobby, and have been doing it for a long time. I usually try fly fishing in creeks. SW: What are your current plans for when you leave IHS? What do you think you want to do? JR: I want to join the military. Specifically, the Marines. SW: Wow, that’s a very admirable desire. Lastly, what advice would you give to incoming freshmen at IHS? JR: Don’t get distracted in classes—don’t fall behind on your work and end up failing any of your classes! You will have to repeat the failed classes, and it’s no fun. Keep your focus no matter what.
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
FEATURES
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Hall Monitor By MAGDA KOSSOWSKA
What is your favorite place to go/thing to do around Ithaca in the summer?
“During the summer I’ll make occasional trips to Purity.” — Sam Catterall ’19
“I like going to the waterfalls a lot in the summer, because that’s when they’re really pretty.” — Mikaela Pagliaro ’17
“Well, I’m new to the area, so I don’t go anywhere.” — Jenje Roberts ’16
“Play chess.” — Salek Khan ’17
“Probably the Falls, because they’re really pretty. Good to take pictures there with your friends.” — Rylee Ebner ’16
“Light fireworks off.” — Abe Messing ’17
“I like Washington Park—it’s actually really peaceful, you get a lot of space to yourself.” — Cora Easton ’19
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
IMAGE PROVIDED
Conspiracy Theories of the 2016 Presidential Campaign By ABE MESSING
Ted Cruz was the Zodiac Killer all along!
The presidential election of 2016 has been provoking some of the most interesting discussions, news articles, and controversies over the past few months as the general election grows nearer. This fascination with the 2016 presidential bid can be partially attributed to the questionable roster that both the Democrats and the Republicans are putting forth as well as the rumors that come with these candidates. It’s no surprise that candidates and their supporters will make an effort to slow the opposition, but many of the conspiracy theories that have been born in the wake of political competition deserve a double take. The theories that have been conjectured about certain political candidates have reached an all-time high of ridiculousness. Among the most popular conspiracy theories is that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer. Although it is true that Ted Cruz and the Zodiac Killer have yet to be seen in the same room together, this tale seems a little farfetched. Despite the fact that Cruz was a baby for most of the killings, the evidence that Cruz is in fact the Zodiac still captivates a large portion of Americans. Cruz vaguely resembles the Zodiac Killer, which is in and of itself enough to convince some people, but also is well-known for being a repulsive person. In addition, his plans and policies for the United States are so maniacal and evil—even to Republicans such as Lindsey Graham (R-SC), who stated that “if you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you”—that he could easily be mistaken for a serial killer. Not surprisingly, this conspiracy gave birth to a new generation of internet jokes and memes, which actually proved to be a convincing argument to the untrained political minds of many Americans. According to a poll taken by the PPP (Public Policy Polling), 38 percent of Florida’s electorate think that Cruz is most likely the Killer, 10 percent are fully convinced he is, and another 28 percent say they are just not sure yet. Without a doubt, the fact that this conspiracy theory was actually able to gain traction on the route to influencing the outcome of an election is enough to consider it a successful ploy to hinder Cruz. While this conspiracy theory might take the cake for most absurd,
Cruz was not alone in taking the heat from a suspicious voting body. Most of the outrageous things that the media reports about Trump are not actually conspiracy theories, but things he really said, so it’s sometimes hard to separate fact from fiction when dealing with the guy. However, one of the rumors that started without Trump’s involvement was one that accused him of being in cahoots with Hillary Clinton. The theory argues that Trump’s entire campaign to the White House was a premeditated effort to propel Clinton to the presidency. Trump is hated by the Republican politicians currently in office, and he does not follow the model of any Republican politician before him. He has a loose mouth and is not afraid to speak his mind, as seen in his quotes: “If I were to run, I’d run as a Republican. They’re the dumbest group of voters in the country. They believe anything on Fox News. I could lie and they’d still eat it up. I bet my numbers would be terrific.” Finally, polls suggest that Hillary would crush Trump in the general election. The rumors speak for themselves; Trump might have been with Hillary all along. Finally, Ben Carson: the soft-spoken, brilliant, African-American neurosurgeon who was wiped out early in the presidential bid still has his fair share of explaining to do. Conspiracy theories such as that Ben Carson thinks that being gay is a choice, Obamacare is worse than slavery, and climate change is a myth still stain the Internet with their absurdity. The fact of the matter, however, is that these were not actually conspiracy theories at all, but serious statements made by Carson that only seemed to fit in naturally with the ridiculous aforementioned allegations. These are only a select few statements representative of the crazy things Carson managed to say in his short-lived effort to become president, but they provide deep insight into the caliber of the political expertise he possesses. Carson didn’t survive the first months of the campaign trail, but his wordbarf and nonsensical quotes will most likely be immortalized in the heaven of inane political hiccups right next to “Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.” The election of 2016 has yet to be over, but the list of wacky conspiracy theories may never end.
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
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“TEACHER FEATURE” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11
it. It started out more memoir-ish in a sort of “how I got to be where I ended up.” Now I’m struggling with: do I want to kick that memoir form into a work of fiction? Although I sometimes wonder in some of the memoirs I’ve read if there is truly a distinction between “this is a documentary report of my life” as opposed to this fictional setting. Well, the fictional setting allows you a lot of room; to change history, and to accent things, and to deaccent particularly negative things, perhaps. In short, it allows you to sort of rewrite your life, but I don’t want to rewrite it. [laughing] Embellish, though. LG: Are you going to miss anything about this place? RA: I am. I’m going to miss [pause] the wonderful time I’ve had helping students to become wonderful human beings. Philosophically, intellectually. I think the most important thing in my career teaching has been [long pause] to make both learning and joy partners. I think the rigor of the learning and the pleasure and fun of it are not mutually exclusive. And I feel successful when both happen in my classroom, and not happy when they don’t.
LG: Are you still enrolled at Cornell University? RA: I proudly say yes. I still am enrolled at Cornell University. One of my goals is to be still enrolled at Cornell University when I croak. That will make me very happy. On my last breath I’ll go “Cornell University, student on very extended leave!” And that happened, as you know, I started up at Cornell in Industrial Relations because it was a lot cheaper than liberal arts. And I didn’t like huge tomes of [gesturing a heavy load] transcripts of law that were very less than… exciting. So I was doing rather badly in this major and at the end of my first year, my freshman year, which I spent essentially hanging around the quad and writing and walking and thinking—it was educational, but it wasn’t education in my particular field. So my advisor said “You know, uh, you know Richard, I think maybe we oughta do something now because it’s pretty clear your intelligence has not been in question, yada-yada, but your grades are pretty not-so-good. I think maybe you should take a leave of absence and see if you can kind of get it together and decide if this is really what you want to do,” and I said, “Well, that’s an excellent idea.” So I filled out the forms for a “leave of absence,” and that “absence” has now reached 48 years, but I’m still enrolled at Cornell University. [I’m] proud of my alma mater that I didn’t go to. LG: Go Big Red. One last question here. Advice to youth? RA: [Pause, repeats question a few times] Stay open enough that your dream comes to you. Do not let institutions, school being one of the most potentially dangerous in this regard of smashing your vision for yourself, hang with that dream and never betray and you will have nothing to regret for the rest of your life. That is what I wish for youth. Be the author of your life, and always remember that Socrates told us, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I would modify the great Socrates proclamation [to add] “and the unlived life is not worth examining.” And that’s what I would want my students to never forget. Live. To the full. [Pause] And that’s a successful life.
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
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LITERARY
Welcome to the brand-new, state-of-the-art literary section of The Tattler! This section will feature students’ creative writing: everything and anything from poetry, short fiction, and creative nonfiction. Each month will have an optional theme, such as “roads” or “light,” but pieces will also be accepted outside of the theme. Each month will also feature a single Haiku of the Month, which will be chosen based on relevance and quality. Work can be sent to literary@ihstattler.com. We hope you make use of this great new outlet for creativity! Read, write, and enjoy! —Emma Karnes, Literary Editor
Haiku of the Month By CASEY WETHERBEE
i cannot tell if that glimmer in your eyes is playfulness or pain
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
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Preaching Grub By JULIA LUNA
There we were, two teenage girls pouring out our teenage woes. Interspersing gossip with deep shit and not feeling embarrassed about afflictions of the heart. We hated to admit it but we were snobs, spending hours on end creating metaphors about smells, feelings, and the simple beauty of life. Once someone called us “Euro Quirk”; I guess we dress like that too. Suddenly, we stood up from the bench and walked as if we were guided by an internal GPS. Of course it led us to Gorgers, the sandwich shop. At that point we decided we were hungry and that the internal GPS couldn’t possibly be wrong, so Gorgers it was. In the window there was an industrial-sized KitchenAid lethargically churning a giant vat of fresh dough. We naively poked through the door, head first. As we walked into Gorgers, loud music, which sounded more like a disorderly kitchen brawl, played in the background. The walls were amorphous splashes of black and red, like a deck of cards. Despite the shop’s attempts to be badass with their tattoo-artist vibes and notoriously massive sandwiches, its quaint charm was undeniable. It was like a sweet grandma with faded tattoos as a reminder of her rebel past. We quickly ordered their famous banh mi and some mango mint juice and scuttled out of the little shop with our paper package. Rule of thumb: any sandwich wrapped in thick, white paper will be good. A heavy rain cloud had set up camp above our heads and did not move all day. It was a breezy day; not the breeze that slams into you, but the breeze that passes through you as if you were completely perforated. Everything intimated rain. However, it never did rain. We sat in the hard metal chairs of the Ithaca Commons with the subconscious expectation
that the brightly colored metal and geometric flower pots would become cozy and comforting; they didn’t, so we gave up the thought. After neatly arranging our napkins, we tore at that thick white paper as if it were a Christmas present. As we licked pork grease off our fingers, we began to notice that our surroundings were much more than geometric flower pots. Nearest to us on the left a street musician with chewed-up dreads plucked his guitar and sung twangy Bob Marley songs. A little farther was a well-dressed man preaching about our Lord Savior Jesus Christ. This man drawled about the Bible and how everyone should be trying real hard to repent their sins. Personally, I couldn’t think of a better time to take a bite of soft, chewy bread filled with succulent meat. I guarantee this will drone out a lecture on gluttony anytime. (This collision of “preachers” was happening in front of the Mate Factor, home to Ithaca’s premier Jewish cult; how fitting.) Biting through a crunchy cucumber, I realized that something else needed to be preached: grub. Sure everyone wants to “make peace not war” and some people need to go on spreading the gospel, but everyone needs one very important thing: grubby food. There comes a time when everyone needs to set aside their Ps and Qs, their diets, their ceramic plates, and eat grub food. Grub is the greasy paper napkins all crumpled up in a pile. Grub is the thick, paper wrappers, the boat shaped plates. Grub is the greasy, the salty, the involuntary groans. Grub is fingers impregnated with the aroma of pork. Grub is the taste of fries and onions on that kiss. Grub is “just one of those weeks.” Grub is human and for the love of God every now and then pick it up with your hands, stick your elbows out, and grub.
Seniors’ PostHigh School Plans by VAYNU KADIYALI
Lisa Podulka: I am thrilled to be attending Indiana University for a major in musical theatre and a minor in Spanish! I always have loved musical theatre, and by freshman year I knew that I wanted to pursue it as a career. Although I have taken Spanish for a long time, I didn’t truly fall in love with it until high school, when I had Mrs. Craig as a teacher. My interest in Spanish and other academic subjects was part of the reason that I chose Indiana. Many musical theatre programs are conservatories, which leave little to no time for academic classes. Although conservatories are wonderful for people who solely want to do musical theatre, I knew that I would thrive best in a conservatory-style program within a liberal arts setting, which is exactly what Indiana offers. I can’t wait to embark on this next stage of my life!
Eleanor Pereboom: After this year, I am entering a dual program with Brown University and the Rhode Island School of Design (RISD). I’m going to study Apparel Design at RISD, and most likely Neuroscience at Brown, though I’m not entirely sure. This path will take me five years to complete, and I’m really excited to move onto this stage of my life!
Yateh Richardson : In my heart, I’m truly a nerd, and I’m excited to be attending MIT after aschool ends. I’ll leave Ithaca for a summer program in Massachusetts the day after graduation. In high school, I have cultivated a passiont for rowing, which I have done since my freshman year in CBC, and I have enjoyed playing jazz music in the Jazz Band. I encourage all underclassmen to not be afraid to make mistakes in high school. As long as you learn from your mistakes this year, you’ll be going places, especially if you don’t let the wisdom of older students and mentors pass you by.
Ian Statema: Next year I will be attending Sterling College in Vermont to major in sustainable agriculture and outdoor education. I chose this after working at Cornell Plantations in a sustainability program. In the future, I plan to find work in the U.S. Park Service and channel my inner mountain man. I will also continue working in technical theater as a hobby over the years. Overall, high school has impacted me and I will never forget the teachers and friends I knew here.
Francis Schickel: I plan to go to Notre Dame University in South Bend, Indiana. It’s not an Ivy, but I’m attending because the quality of education is superb. I swam throughout my high school career, though I’m trying to exclusively pursue economics or finance. I think that having a background in money and monetary policy is an ideal path because it’s how our world works, and that’s why I’m leaning towards it. Notre Dame athletics are great, as are their intramural sports, and I’m entering this stage of my education with an open mind for clubs and activities. I’m most looking forward to their perpetually soldout college football scene!
Sadie Spearman: Before I attend college at Nazareth College in Rochester to learn social work, I have a five step plan for entering the real world. I first am going to get really tough; I’m going to have arms like boa constrictors, and thighs that can crush skulls. I’m also going to learn how to ride a motorcycle, a popular form of inexpensive transport in countries I want to visit. I want to learn to fire a gun, mainly to be more like Indiana Jones. The last two goals are to learn many languages so I can make friends abroad, and I also have an interest in learning dog massage therapy before I go to school.
Jasper Minson: I’m going to Bennington College in Vermont, and I’m going to study film production. I’m also going to study writing and possibly education, with the eventual goal that I can combine those fields in some way. I’m very interested in film but am also very wary of the film industry, which is in a bad place. I want to be able to study what I love, and be able to pursue a fulfilling career, and this path will give me that.
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
Here Is a Field of an Unknown Grain By PEARSE ANDERSON
If this field were a person it would be a woman named Sigtuna with a spitting problem. If this field were an accident it would be a school bus rolling down a roadside ditch. If this field were a food it would taste like a tomato you should’ve thrown away last week. If this field were a bird it would be an owl the color of steel. If this field were a piece of paperwork it would instruct you to burn it after filling out all its little boxes. If this field were a bathtub it would be the kind you could stretch out in and feel the ornate gold rings of it with your toes as you floated there. If this field were a memory it would be you chugging a glass of root beer hoping the soda would help your lips, sore from kissing. You didn’t have the intention to heal but to simply delay the discomfort until you stopped making out with Mary Grey. If this field were a gun it would be pointed at someone who didn’t really matter anyway. If this field were a poem it would start with “where do these new, skin-thick flowers bloom?” And it would continue. But it would end.
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
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Wind Up: Finale By JAMES PARK
Linda was unconscious by the time I burst into the dilapidated home, her slight breath on my neck the only indication that she was still alive. I wearily stumbled over to a nearby sofa and unceremoniously threw her down on the dusty cushions, dropping to the ground to catch my breath. Not much else was in the room, save a few cracked cabinets and small piles of scattered debris. One wall was even marked with what looked like several bullet holes. The past experiences of Linda and Winder had not been good ones. I started searching around the room for medical supplies and soon found a roll of bandages in a scuffed first-aid kit. Patching Linda up wasn’t too bad, and her injury didn’t seem too serious; the bullet hadn’t exited the body and had missed her vitals. She definitely needed medical attention soon, though, and I was confident that Winder would know a place to keep her safe. If he was meeting us here, anyway. I stared down at my own body now, suddenly aware of the insanity that I’d been through. I’d gone from a promoted officer to a wanted criminal in one day, and the exertion had caught up to me at last. Dropping heavily into a nearby chair, I rested my head on the table before me and closed my eyes, gratefully slipping into a deep sleep. The one dream I had was quick but vivid. I stood before Winder, in his spartan office, who glared at me angrily. I nervously stepped back, not used to this level of acrimony from him. “Sleeping on the job, I see,” he growled, his usually sarcastic banter gone. “Typical of any new recruit, I suppose.” “I’m tired, and I just went through the worst day of my life,” I protested. “Besides, I’m only waiting for you to catch up with us.” “Do you really think that?” Winder gave a derisive snort, rising from his desk. “Did you not see the signs? The
wind-up bird that Linda showed us. This killer has a personal vendetta with me, and I intend to finish it myself.” “So you just left us here?” I demanded. Winder was no longer looking at me though, but rather beyond, his face suddenly drained of any anger. I became aware of faint but distinct noises behind me, but my body refused to turn around. “Wake up, you idiot!” shouted Winder, and I burst awake from my sleep, sweating profusely. For a second I was frozen in confusion, but the dream revived itself in my head after a few moments. I remembered how Winder had stared behind me, how he had yelled at me. The muffled noises that erupted behind me. Linda. I knew before I had turned around, but the sight wasn’t any less disturbing. Her body was mutilated as much as the body I’d seen in the alleyway this morning, if not more. From the expression I could discern on the agonized remains of her face, she had been awake when the killer had come in, but had failed to raise me from my slumber. I felt sick inside. My eye caught the glint of blue in the visceral red which spread across the sofa, and with a trembling hand I reached out to grab the plastic object caught in Linda’s fingers. A small wind-up bird. Trying to block the scene from my head, I dazedly walked outside only to suddenly keel over in the grass, violently retching. It was just about midnight now, the full moon shining forlornly down on the empty street. I could have saved her, if I’d just woken up sooner. But why was I still alive? For some reason, this killer wanted me alive. He wanted me to be a part of some terrible plan. Which meant that he would have left some kind of message. I slowly looked down at my still hand, the plastic toy tightly in my palm. A scrap
of paper was rolled up inside the bird’s mouth. Thirty minutes later I found myself surrounded by huge factories, the air hazy and stifling. Sparrow Precinct, the largest industrial area within the city. I guess the name wasn’t a coincidence. The killer wanted his mission to end tonight with Winder’s bloody corpse spread across the cobble roads. And he wanted me to witness it. I didn’t expect to see many people, but the streets were eerily empty. During the conflict between the city and the gangs, the Chain took over several factories to secure supplies. The government responded by sending in a militia to take them out. Only after the death of two dozen civilians did both sides finally retreat, but the memory lasted. No one dared to loiter in the area if they could help it. The brief note hadn’t been specific, and for a moment I wondered if this was all a ruse to keep me away from Winder. But then I saw a figure through the slight smog, seemingly staring straight at me. I could barely make out any features, but one aspect I saw quite well: his left arm dangling loosely, the silhouette of a knife grasped in his fingers. My heart skipped a beat. I stopped moving forward but continued to stare at the shadow before me. “Newt,” the figure said suddenly. I jumped a little. “Here to find Winder, are you?” The rough drawl identified the speaker as a man. I saw his knife twitch slightly. “Are you here to save your hero from his inevitable demise?” “No,” I said with surprising calm. “I’m here to kill you.” I lifted my pistol and fired straight at the man, each round momentarily dispelling the fog. The man grunted and tumbled backwards, fading into the darkness. With one bullet still left in the chamCONTINUED ON PAGE 22
PAGE 22 “WIND UP: FINALE” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 21
ber, I approached his still-writhing body, kicking his fallen knife away from a grasping hand. His unshaven face turned to face me, eyes bitter and mouth twisted in pain. “Nice aim,” he groaned, “but unfortunately for you I came prepared.” A heavy Kevlar vest had blocked most of my shots, indicated by shredded marks, but one bullet had penetrated his arm, his sleeve slowly turning a shade darker. The man slowly struggled up, his hands weakly up in surrender. “If you’re as smart as you’re good with that gun, it’s no wonder why Winder would want you.” “Don’t stall for time. Winder’s coming here any minute now, and I know you have some plan up your sleeve to take him out. I want you to answer my questions.” “And why not finish me off now and let him tell you the answers?” the man wearily replied. “You’re right, Winder’s coming here as we speak, but I wanted to talk to you first. Alone.” Even as he said that, I saw the killer’s eyes sweep the area around us. “It seems as if you don’t want to kill me now, do you?” I didn’t speak for a moment, but I finally gritted my teeth and looked straight at him. “Who are you?” The man smiled drily, but the expression quickly gave way to a pained grimace. “They called me Newt,” he said. “You mean Winder called you Newt?” “Yes. I see he named you in my honor, perhaps to satisfy some sadistic urge. Anyway, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that we were an unstoppable team. The best in the force. The golden years, those were, and we had the envy and respect of every other officer.” The man paused. “But then I began seeing a nastier part of him.” “Explain.” “I was just about to. It’s just that, you know, my arm has a damn bullet in it. But yeah. It turns out Winder has a brutal streak in him. Violence was something he took for granted, maybe even enjoyed. In all of our cases, he’d find some excuse to beat the crap out of some poor schmuck who looked suspicious. It was never overt. Hell, I didn’t find out until a year into our partnership. But it just kept getting worse.” He once again glanced around us nervously, wiping his forehead with his good arm. “I’ll hurry this along. Soon I found out that he had connections with a lot of the gangs in the city. As a young and morally
LITERARY righteous lad back then, I was shocked by this, even felt a little betrayed. We started arguing a little. But the kicker came when we were sent to track down an escaped prisoner. The kid didn’t do anything too bad, just some drug charges and small theft. The second Winder cornered him, however… he was merciless. By the time I drag Winder off the prisoner, he’s so messed up he can barely breathe. Winder, though, he just glares at me, tells me to mind my own business. We get into a nasty spat, and I realize that I can’t work with him anymore. So I report him. “Winder is furious. A week later, I’m assigned for some work near the river west of the city. He ambushes me right there, stabs me right in the stomach, beats me, then gets a gun and tries to shoot me. I barely manage to jump in the river before he pulls the trigger, and I’m swept away by the current. I realize I’m not safe if Winder realizes I’m alive. So I fade away. Winder is charged with murder, but within a few months the accusation is dropped. There’s no doubt Winder and his underground connections were behind that.” He stopped again and sighed. “And you know, that hurt to watch. Someone escaping justice just like that. I know, it happens all the time, but someone like that? He deserves to be dead.” “And so you decided to take revenge on him?” I asked. “Through murdering people he knew? Including his little sister? What kind of justice is that?” He spat on the ground. “I don’t regret what I’ve done,” he snapped, “and you won’t change my mind. It’s too late, anyhow. Winder’s a wanted man, and his precious Chain Gang will collapse within a week. My job is complete.” “But you wanted to talk to me,” I pressed on. “Why?” “Because I feel sorry for you, kid. Winder put on a damn good act, and you fell for it. Now you’re caught in the middle of some crazy murder mystery with no way out. You know what the real Winder is like now. All you gotta do is claim how he threatened to kill you if you didn’t obey him, and they’ll eventually let you off the hook. The force also knows how dangerous Winder can be; it’s just that they’re too scared to do more than sneer.” The old Newt looked at me earnestly. “Get out of here, Newt. Let Winder deal with me; I suppose I deserve it. But everything will work out—”
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
“You really think so?” snarled a voice from behind me. The same voice I’d heard in my dream. Then a hand threw me backwards onto the ground, knocking the breath out of me. I heard old Newt cry out in terror, followed by pain and cracking noises as Winder savagely assaulted him. My hand reached out, searching for the gun I dropped. As my hand wrapped around the pistol’s handle, Winder grabbed me by my neck and dragged me over. “Listen, Newt,” growled Winder viciously. His overcoat was torn and his hat was gone, showing a bruised but deadly face. In his hand he held his metal rod, severely dented since the last time I saw it. Red stains coated the entire bar. “I don’t know what shit this man said about me, but every word he said is a lie. We don’t have much time now. Detective Krig is surrounding the entire precinct as we speak. So you get to make a choice here. Your final test from me.” He grinned psychotically. “You shoot that scumbag traitor lying over there, and I’ll get you out of here safe and sound. I know plenty of escape passages around here.” “And if I shoot you?” I heard myself saying distantly. The gun hung limp in my fingers. Winder’s smile vanished. “You actually believe hi—” he started furiously, then contained himself. “You shoot me, you’re on your own,” he said slowly. “You’ll be shot by the officers you once worked with. You mean nothing to them, Newt. They’ll gun you down without hesitation.” The old Newt was nearly unconscious, and his face was nearly as bloody as those of his murder victims. His swollen eyes looked weakly at me, begging for me to make the right choice. Please. Shoot him. And yet I still couldn’t lift the gun. “Hurry up, you idiot!” Winder hissed, shaking me urgently. “I swear, I will make everything clear once we get out of here.” I didn’t respond. “Make the damn choice!” he yelled, looking as if he were about to take the gun and do it himself. I jerked out of his grasp and backed away, slowly raising my weapon. Just one bullet left. Behind me I heard shouts and incoming footsteps. I made my decision. I slowly looked into his eyes, watched them as he realized my choice. What did he feel? Betrayal? Fear? Acceptance? It didn’t matter now. I steadied my aim and fired.
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
ARTS
What Time is It? By AMALIA WALKER and CORINNE HILL-JAMES NOT time to get a watch. Because it’s SUMMERTIME! This playlist is long enough that you’ll be able to play it on repeat all summer and never get tired of its contents! “Summertime”: Willie Nelson An unusual take on the Porgy and Bess classic off of Summertime: Willie Nelson Sings Gershwin. Get ready for some easy livin’.
“Thelonious”: Thelonious Monk Take some time this summer to write yourself a song!
“Oh Boy!”: Buddy Holly You don’t know what you’ve been missin’...
“Give My Love to Rose”: Johnny Cash It’s always time to give your love to the Rose (your lover, just a flower, or both!) in your life. You don’t even have to be the next Johnny Cash! “Do You Believe in Magic”: Lovin’ Spoonful The magic’s in the music and the music’s in me! There’s no song more uplifting. “Beside You”: Van Morrison Wrapped up in your magic shroud as ecstasy [of warmth] surrounds you.
“My Best Friend”: Jefferson Airplane Some easy-listening psychedelia to play for your best friends when they’re down. “Light My Fire”: The Doors The time to hesitate is through! Go out there and do what you’ve always wanted to do! Get your fire lit. “Master Blaster (Jammin’)”: Stevie Wonder
Summer is the perfect opportunity to “jam until the break of dawn.” “‘Round Midnight”: Bill Evans …A couple hours before the break of dawn.
“Midnight Train to Georgia”: Gladys Knight & The Pips That would be right ‘round midnight.
“Bajo la Rambla”: Los Gatos Salvajes Translation: Under the Boardwalk. That’s right, it’s that song… only in Spanish! “Riding With the King”: B.B. King and Eric Clapton Dream team.
“Weather With You”: Crowded House It’s time to bid a sincere adieu to all the graduating seniors. Wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever you see, just remember: always take the Weather With You, don’t let yourself forget the gentle breeze of the hallways of IHS. “Up The Beach”: Jane’s Addiction Finally, there’s time for long, romantic walks on the beach.
“In The Light”: Led Zeppelin With the summer solstice comes a whole lotta light. Take advantage of the longer days if you feel that you can’t go on; In The Light you will find the road.
“People Take Pictures of Each Other”: The Kinks Take pictures of the summer just in case someone thought they missed it, and to prove that it really existed! The moments can last forever. “Surfin’ USA”: The Beach Boys It’s time for a bushy, bushy blonde hairdo, because everybody’s gone surfin’. “It’s Summertime”: The Flaming Lips Have a lovely summer!
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
Chance the Rapper: Coloring Book Review
Ithaca: Hollywood of the East
IMAGE BY MAGDA KOSSOWSKA
In the early 20th century, Ithaca was the center of the silent film industry: a Hollywood of its time. Glamorous actresses, producers, and directors roamed the streets of downtown Ithaca. People traveled miles to attend premieres at the State Theater. Stewart Park was known as Renwick Park, which housed Wharton, Inc., a successful film studio owned by brothers Leopold and Theodore Wharton. They established their interest in the area at a Cornell football game, falling in love with Ithaca’s picturesque setting. The duo set up their film studio in 1914, which thrived until 1919 when the Whartons faced financial troubles and parted ways, never to work together again. Their films were shot all over Ithaca. Automobiles and trolley cars were thrown into Fall Creek Gorge and Taughannock Falls and Cayuga Lake represented the Atlantic Ocean in scenes portraying events such as German submarine attacks. The Wharton brothers brought in movie stars, magicans, and entertainers on overnight trains from New York City. Others, such as actors Pearl White, Irene Castle, and Harry Fox (for whom Foxtrot was named), resided permanently in Ithaca. The Lottery Man was one feature created by Ithaca Studios. It stars Oliver Harding as a young man who creates a lottery with his hand in marriage as the winner’s prize. The film depicts his adventures in Ithaca with romance scenes created in Wharton Studios.
Silent Wharton Studio, which was a silent film production company from 1914 to 1919.
Beatrice Fairfax was a Wharton Brothers film series produced in 1916. It was inspired by a newspaper advice columnist, played by Grace Darling. In each episode, she worked with her co-reporter to solve the problems sent in to her by her readers. The series has remained popular, even 100 years later, and was made into a DVD collection series in 2004. Historians and the film community have been trying to preserve the history of our silent film industry for decades. The Ithaca Motion Picture Project was founded last year in an attempt to create an historic monument of cultural and educational learning for the community and visitors out of Wharton Studios. The vision was to create a mock studio in which interactive learning and silent-film viewings could take place. While the project has not raised the money necessary to restore the monument, the Ithaca Silent Film Event occurs every year during the Ithaca Festival. There, crowds gather to watch silent films created in Ithaca, enjoying Ithaca’s past fame as the “Hollywood of the East.”
By CHLOE WRAY, Staff Writer
To release an album on Friday the 13th, one would have to be pretty darn confident. Chancelor Bennett, better known as Chance the Rapper, released his third mixtape, Coloring Book, on May 13, and was rightfully confident despite the jinxed day. While the album has been received exceptionally well, the release was not such a success for Apple Music. Originally, The album art of Chance the Rap- Coloring Book was set to be per’s third mixtape, released May released exclusively by Apple 12, 2016. Music for two weeks; however, it was leaked anonymously to Datpiff where it was downloaded over 141,000 times in only 11 hours before being taken down. Since these downloads, the mixtape has been posted to YouTube and other streaming sites where it has remained untouched—which makes sense considering Chance has released all previous works on free platforms such as SoundCloud. According to current Grammy rules, an artist must release their work via commercial streaming services in order to be considered for a nomination. As Chance says on the track “Blessings (Reprise),” “I’m anti-label, pro-famous,” referencing the fact that he is not affiliated with a label. However, he gave into the exclusive streaming services in exchange for a chance at a Grammy, admitting his desire for fame while continuing to defy industry standards. The album, which Chance calls a mixtape, is something quite unique. Gospel sampling puts it in line with Kanye’s The Life of Pablo, but Coloring Book goes several steps further with songs like “Blessings (Reprise)”—which features the Harlem Gospel For Teens Choir—“How Great,” and “Finish Line/Drown.” All three embody the gospel sound with biblical references as Chance reflects on his career and family. The album as a whole shows Chance’s maturation both lyrically and stylistically, moving away from songs about high school and a carefree life to the responsibilities fatherhood has brought into his life. The album does not turn off his fan base of relatively young listeners, rather it presents them with an evaluation of morals over partying, family over money, and staying true to oneself over appeasing society. To be cliche, it is a breath of fresh air, innovative in its putting aside of materialism in favor of religious values that are applicable even to the secular. Chance the Rapper makes music that makes you feel good. His lyrics are not vulgar, nor are they repetitive. They are real. Whether rapping about drugs or his mother, he does not stray from the truth. Chance does not aim to appeal to the masses; he aims to make music of quality and sentiment. This album is far more laidback than Acid Rap in particular. As he abstains from catering to the mainstream, he abstains from making music for the club and ignores the common desire to not identify the negative. Instead, he faces it head-on and comes to terms with it in this soul-searching work. The lyrics and beats in Chance’s trilogy of 10 Day, Acid Rap, and Coloring Book are far from those of his contemporaries. As Chance the Rapper continues to defy industry standards, he is setting the bar for accessible and meaningful music. IMAGE PROVIDED
By BELLA CULOTTA
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
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Remembering the Purple One
A New Kind of Makeover: The Jungle Book
IMAGE PROVIDED
By RAFAEL ENCISO-ODDY
By BEN SALOMON
Let’s throw it back to 1967: the year of my mother’s birth, the year that the first African-American Chief Justice, Thurgood Marshall, was sworn into office, and the year that Disney’s The Jungle Book premiered in front of children across the nation. This installment of The Jungle Book was a childhood treasure, even for kids born decades later. The film included songs we all know: “Bear Necessities,” “I Wanna Be Like You”; songs that made you sing along whether you thought to or not. In April, Disney produced a live-action version of The Jungle Book. My first reaction upon hearing that there would be a new installment was one of concern. I adored the original version and did not want the the film’s glorious name to be tarnished by a second-rate film designed to turn a profit. Upon hearing the cast list, I was somewhat confused by the way humans would portray animals. I anticipated use of computer-generated imagery (CGI) and thought that the recognizable voices of the actors would cause the computer generation to be awkward and obvious. The animals are, in fact, portrayed with CGI. Despite my worries, the film exceeded my expectations. The sole actor (in the conventional sense), is 12-year-old Neel Sethi, who did a fantastic job as the lovable protagonist and only human, Mowgli. Sethi perfectly depicted the childish attitude and mannerisms of a boy raised in the jungle. Mowgli’s development was clear and personal, even more so than in the original. The innocent young boy at the beginning of the film morphed into a mature young man by the end. The rest of the cast can only be evaluated by their voices. Ben Kingsley, as Bagheera the panther, embodied the stoic and wise teacher he was meant to be, his British accent adding to the solemnity of his character. Bill Murray (Baloo the bear)
has a voice made for comedy. Baloo is the greatest source of comic relief in the film, and Murray’s voice is as soothing as the honey his character loves so dearly. Scarlett Johansson (Kaa the snake) has the voice and, well, face of an angel, so I was confused when I found that she was chosen as the voice of the snake. However, Kaa is a hypnotic and soothing figure who lulls her prey into her clutches, and Johansson’s seductive and soft voice does just that. Christopher Walken (King Louie the monkey) has the classic accent of a New York businessman, someone who knows how to drive a hard bargain, adding depth and power to his scheming. Finally, Idris Elba (Shere Khan the tiger) has a voice that rivals that of Morgan Freeman and James Earl Jones. His voice is perfect for the villain. A story everyone loves and characters to boot: what’s not to love about the film? I found only two problems. First, the incorporation of some of the songs from the original seemed forced and awkward. Most noticeable was the happy strumming while King Louie was yelling at Mowgli. When Baloo and Mowgli were singing “Bear Necessities,” the setting and vibe were right, but the singing itself was awkward. It was not exactly sung; it was more spoken in rhythm with random spells of singing throughout. Second, the minor characters were omitted. Some of my favorite characters were the vultures that represented The Beatles and the elephants that marched through the Jungle “in a military style.” These characters may not have been important to the plot, but they were more beloved memories that I was hoping to relive. Overall, the new rendition was excellent with its combination of well-produced CGI and phenomenal voice acting. It was lots of fun to watch and I advise everyone to go and watch it ASAP.
Prince performs at the Coachella Festival in Indio, California in 2008.
People (including myself) like to go on about how Prince was this and Prince was that: “He was Jimi Hendrix, James Brown, and Michael Jackson all rolled up in one.” The Purple One was a lot of things, and he had a lot of major influences, but one of the least mentioned seems the most obvious to me. He was a generation’s Duke Ellington. At a Prince show, you could get your swing on, feel the funk, dance like crazy, and learn a whole lot about music, simultaneously. His music wasn’t just a party; it was a class in session. Two generations before, Duke was remaking jazz, swing, African sounds, and blues to create a revolutionary, sophisticated sound. Similarly, you never knew what you might hear on a Prince record, but it was guaranteed to be complex; drawn from so much musical history, with rich, surprising arrangements. His performance was that of a star and a storyteller. His story was the entire history of music, paying tribute to those musicians who came before him and building upon what had already been created. As a performer, he would flaunt his talent, often playing every instrument on stage. Nonetheless, he connected with his audience, shredding and maintaining captivation. He challenged us to grow while giving the best show there was to see. Duke did that for sixty years, in a career spanning from 1914 to 1974, and a shrine was built in his name at Lincoln Center for him to live on and continue to influence us. Prince was right under our noses the whole time, walking the walk, constantly building upon the musical world’s material, like Duke. He was severely underappreciated, and it’s a sad fact that his death will launch him into artificial popularity. Who will take his place?
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Yafet’s Favorite Music I’m no stranger to music, but then again, who is? This is one of my last articles for The Tattler, and with summer rapidly approaching, I’ve decided to make my own playlist. It features a variety of genres and will give you a break from today’s music. And don’t worry—you won’t see any Backstreet Boys in this playlist. “Guilty Conscience”: Eminem (Explicit) Eminem faces a fair amount of controversy, and this song is no exception: “Guilty Conscience” is a bit more controversial than his other signature pieces. This song features a duel between Eminem and Dr. Dre, both of whom are providing guidance to three individuals about to make bad decisions. The song is NSFW, but it’s worth a listen. “Africa”: Toto From the start, you’ll have no trouble singing along to this Toto classic. “Africa,” with its summer vibes, is perfect for the season, especially if you’re spending your vacation there. If you pay close attention to the lyrics, you’ll find them to be quite vague; it’s hard to tell if he is singing about a lover or about Africa itself. Guess we’ll never know. “Lights”: Ellie Goulding Although it was released in 2010, this song didn’t hit American radio charts until 2012. It hit number one and was the most requested song at the time. The melody of the song is catchy, upbeat, and won’t fail to get you in the mood. Every time this song comes up on shuffle on my iPod, I can’t help but sing along. Fun fact: this song was actually inspired by Ellie Goulding’s fear of the dark.
“O.N.E”: Yeasayer I’m mentioning this song only because of its presence on the FIFA 11 soundtrack. The genre is experimental, usually not my thing, but the lyrics and instrumentals are quite catchy, resulting in a tasteful song. The music video is borderline weird and mindboggling. “Come On, Let’s Go”: Ritchie Valens It’s such a shame that Ritchie Valens died in the plane crash known as “The Day the Music Died.” “Come On, Let’s Go” has a bit of a 50s/60s feel. It’s also worthwhile to
By YAFET ANDEMARIAM
listen to the cover by Los Lobos.
“Carry On My Wayward Son”: Kansas With its guitar solos and profound lyrics, everyone can agree that this song is one of the greatest classic-rock hits of all time. This is Kansas’s signature song and one of the most recognizable songs in the world.
“Wavin’ Flag”: K’Naan The FIFA World Cup is one of the largest sporting events in the world. The 2010 edition took place in South Africa, with Spain beating the Netherlands in extra time. Shakira’s “Waka Waka” was its theme song. However, K’Naan’s “Wavin’ Flag,” as Coca-Cola’s promotional song, may have been the more memorable anthem of the event. Coke’s version of the song celebrates the nation of South Africa and its excitement to host the World Cup. At the 2010 World Cup, hearing this song around South Africa gave me chills and made me feel more African than ever. The explicit version of the song has deeper meaning than the altered version, referencing the struggle of refugees displaced by war, but Coca-Cola obviously had to get rid of these lyrics for the sake of advertising for the World Cup. Regardless, both versions send a feel-good, meaningful message to all of us in the world.
“Can’t C Me”: Tupac (Explicit) This well-known song was produced by Dr. Dre. It begins with a subliminal message from Tupac himself followed by a head-rocking beat. The lyricism in this rap song is spot on, but then again, the lyrics are completely NSFW. “1,000 Miles”: Vanessa Carlton Anyone will instantly recognize this song with its catchy piano hook. It was featured in the movie White Chicks, and most people can remember Terry Crews lipsyncing to it. Crank up the volume!
“Mrs. Robinson”: Simon and Garfunkel This Simon and Garfunkel hit received two Grammys in 1969, and it was the first rock song to win the category “Record of the Year.” The guitar instrumentals with the lyrics make this song memorable and recognizable.
“Mas Que Nada”: Sergio Mendes ft. Black Eyed Peas Originally written and sung by Jorge Ben, “Mas Que Nada” is considered one of the best Brazilian songs ever. Sergio Mendes’s revamp of the song has a very solid and melodious beat consistent with the Brazilian samba style. The Black Eyed Peas only make it better.
“Man In The Mirror”: Michael Jackson It’s not “Thriller” or “Don’t Stop till You Get Enough,” but it is one of those songs that gets you thinking. MJ deserved a spot on this list so I decided to choose this meaningful and mesmerizing song, even though it’s not typical of him. The song has such a positive message, explaining how an individual has to be aware of their surroundings in order to be successful. “Life is a Highway”: Rascal Flatts I don’t listen to country often; this song is the only exception. My dad used to play this on every road trip. The guitar backups and lyrics are exceptional. The calm bridge in the song is the cherry on top of this country hit. It was written and originally sung by Tom Cochran and later covered by Rascal Flatts. This version was featured in the Pixar film Cars, and peaked in the top 10 on Billboard in 2006. Remember to play this song when you’re cruising on the highway. “I Want It That Way”: Backstreet Boys Yeah, I lied about not mentioning any Backstreet Boys music in this playlist. To be honest, the song was never going to be excluded from the list in the first place. I could not get it out of my head for weeks. It seemed to be playing everywhere, from dressing rooms to restaurants to my orthodontist’s office. It’s a very catchy song and has such a vague meaning that even Kevin Richardson of the Backstreet Boys doesn’t know what the song means. It’s a great karaoke and radio jam and will always be one of my favorite songs in the world. If you’ve never listened to this song, I suggest you listen to it ASAP and tell me why it’s your first time. It’s been a wonderful ride, IHS. Have a great summer.
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
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ReViews
La Belle Époque: French Classical Playlist
By IAN WILKIE-TOMASIK
By DANIEL XU and DAVID SHENG
Drake’s highly anticipated album has arrived! Views is an extensive, emotional collection of tunes straight from Toronto’s OVO Sound record label. As with almost every previous work by Drake, Views (not a mixtape like If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late) is a collaboration with Noah “40” Shebib. 40’s signature minimalist, slow, and provocative beats are ubiquitous on this drop. The powerful duo of 40 and Drake has almost created a genre of its own. Views is a stylistic continuation of Nothing Was the Same, with parallel song structure, emotionally charged lyrics, and a similarly lengthy tracklist. Listening to an interview with Drake recorded the night of the release, I heard that the structure of the album was designed to mirror the cyclic nature of the seasons, specifically in Toronto. It starts in the winter, indicated especially by “Keep the Family Close” and “Feel No Ways,” which are almost laments. Deeper into the album, summer vibes start to surface. “Controlla” and “One Dance” are probably the most accessible tracks to new listeners. They have a truly genius island feel, showcasing Drake’s vocal capabilities. It is easy to get lost in the boasting, bragging, and luxury embedded in the album, but underneath, it is dripping with vulnerability and raw emotion. Collaboration with artists Future and Rihanna, among others, highlight the emotion in the album; Future highlights sentiments of arrogance, while Rihanna, those of romance. The album is not without drawbacks. First of all, the tracklist is almost too long. With nearly an hour and a half of music, it is difficult to make it through the whole album. Songs like “Redemption” and “Still Here” rehash old ideas presented in Nothing Was the Same, making them arguably unnecessary. In addition, the excess of emotion and lack of risk-taking detract from Drake’s confidence and flow as a rapper. This is evident throughout the entire album except for “Hype,” which is more upbeat and aggressive than the rest of the tracks, and a couple others. For the most part, Views also lacks innovation—it is too similar to Nothing Was the Same. Additionally, there are too many cringe-worthy lyrics that sound like cheap shots to be expected on an underdeveloped mixtape. Examples include “You toyin’ with it like Happy Meal,” “Like when Chrysler made that one car that look just like the Bentley, I always saw you for what you could have been,” “Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake you know I love to go there.” Nobody wants to hear about Drake at Cheesecake Factory, rapping about Happy Meals. Lastly, there is rampant classism in the track “Child’s Play.” Drake describes getting a girl out of the ghetto and then threatens to drop her back off if she doesn’t behave to his standards. These types of songs make you wonder what’s so redeeming about Drake. Views will resonate mainly with previous Drake fans due to its stylistic similarity to his previous works. To be clear, this lack of significant change is not necessarily a bad thing. It works for his fans and has been financially successful. However, if you’re looking for innovation in the hip hop world, you should look elsewhere, perhaps to Chance the Rapper or Kendrick Lamar. These two are pushing boundaries like no others in a world in which Drake isn’t anymore.
“Can you picture how drop-dead gorgeous this city is in the rain? Imagine this town in the ‘20s. Paris in the ‘20s, in the rain. The artists and writers!” —Midnight in Paris
French culture has always been a symbol of romanticism in the U.S., and it was during the beginning of the 20th century that the France we know and love began to take shape. The center of all Western culture, Parisian salons were filled with what are still household names: Monet, Hemingway, van Gogh, Stravinsky, Picasso, Cole Porter... the list goes on and on. “A golden age!” cried Hemingway. It was an age of booming industry, it was the age of machines, yet we see the Paris scene being one of intellectuals, of arts, and most importantly, of music. In a way, this was also an age of conflict: academism vs. impressionism in art; romanticism vs. impressionism in music; symbolism vs. impressionism in theater. It was in such an environment that the birth of the many French masterpieces came to pass. To us, music is the purest form of expression, yet some of the most conflicting stories and connections in the French music scene stand behind it. Saint-Saëns, a child prodigy who was called a genius by Ravel and Fauré, was extremely suspicious of the impressionist movement, especially Ravel. But Ravel was Fauré’s student, who was in turn Saint-Saëns’s student. Nonetheless, one can see deep connections between the three. Fauré’s understanding of musical structures and harmony was a true gift from his master, and one can clearly see Fauré paying homage to Saint-Saëns in his second piano quartet. Saint-Saëns’s influence on Ravel was perhaps even more extraordinary. Ravel’s knowledge of music history is thoroughly displayed in his neoclassical works such as Le Tombeau de Couperin as well as La Valse, a condensed ballet that tells the history of the waltz. Later, when composing his Piano Concerto for the Left Hand, Ravel diligently studied Saint-Saëns’s left-hand etudes for months as a means of establishing a technical understanding of the left hand. Such connections are everywhere in this playlist, and holding this knowledge brings delight that one can’t possibly acquire from just listening to the music without it. Stories aside, the music for this playlist was picked after long debates and considerations between the two of us. In the end, it was simply impossible to write about just 10 compositions, so we made an extension of the list for those who are interested. This is a playlist for your imagination. Do not be constrained by the titles of these works, but look for what sparks in your mind. Ravel the magician, Debussy the painter, Fauré the poet, SaintSaëns the scholar...
Jeux d’Eau (1914): Maurice Ravel (Martha Argerich) Daniel Xu ’17: Absolute magic. “River god laughing as the water tickles him,” reads the epigraph, and the piece itself doesn’t relent, its elegant arpeggios hovering between the lines of virtuosCONTINUED ON PAGE 29
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Alternative Rock band X Ambassadors performed in its hometown of Ithaca at the State Theatre, on May 14, 2016.
The Sixth Annual “Benefit My State” Concert: A Review By AMALIA WALKER
It’s not an unusual phenomenon for a couple of brothers and friends to form a band. It is unusual to be Ithacan, and perhaps even more unusual to be a successful band. The X Ambassadors, native to Ithaca (with the exception of drummer Adam Levin), did meet success. They made it in Brooklyn, a hub of rising young musicians, and were discovered by the world- famous Imagine Dragons. They’re big news. They returned to headline at the 6th annual “Benefit My State” concert back home on May 14. Jimkata, a local band with a somewhat wide following, opened the concert. They had always been on my radar, but this was the first time I had a conscious presence at their performance. I was unimpressed. The few songs they played were mediocre, detached, and almost phony. I began to lose faith in the X Ambassadors when the second opening act began: the State Theater was not the place for electronica artist Robert DeLong. The regal, almost sublime setting seemed incompatible with his music, which, with little exception, would be unrecognizable as such to anyone born before 1980. The “Benefit My State” concert was not meant to be a rave. If any good came out of it, DeLong’s performance seemed to wake up the audience. People began to get up and dance, loosening up for the X Ambassadors, the main attraction. The X Ambassadors themselves entered the stage close to their scheduled time, noted on the program as 9:01. After two subpar opening acts, my expectations had lessened, but when they began to play, it was real. Their music was a part of them, making for a truly engaging show. Witnessing them relatively near to their breakthrough, it became clear to me what leads to fame. The X Ambassadors are successful because they’re gifted. Their elements are coherent, and not only literally, but figuratively harmonious.
Categorized as indie/alternative rock, they lean more towards the latter, reminiscent of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The highlights of the show included a few selections that had elements of soul, but what stood out especially were the instrumental solos. Frontman Sam Harris was skilled on the sax, and his brother Casey incredible on the keyboard. As a gifted, blind keyboardist, he has been called the next Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder. However, he has his own, genuinely original style. It’s full, it’s complex, and it’s busy—in a good way. I wish more time had been allotted to these instrumental solos; I spent most of the rest of the time waiting for one to come around while masses of audience members who had memorized some XA hits 20 minutes before putting on their crop tops sang along at the invitation of the almost excessively interactive Sam Harris. When it became clear that the X Ambassadors were wrapping up their show, they paid tribute to Prince (they played—you guessed it—“Purple Rain”). The performance woke me up and proceeded to cause a lump in my throat to grow. Those who had been sitting down stood up; I felt a mutual consciousness of collective emotion. This sensation was infinitely magnified when the band honored Ray Charles, the legend of a blind keyboardist to whom Casey Harris compares himself. They played Charles’ signature song, “Georgia On My Mind.” To put the icing on the cake, the Harris brothers’ mother, a jazz singer, joined them on stage. It was superb. Despite a rough start, I left the show content and proud of Ithaca’s cultivation of such artfully talented people. I’m eager to see where the band goes. I can certainly see a solo career for Casey Harris.
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com “LA BELLE ÉPOQUE” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 27
ity and melody from beginning to end. It’s a spectacle to watch as well, and I can’t begin to imagine how ridiculous Lang Lang would look performing it.
La fille aux cheveux de lin (The Girl with the Flaxen Hair) and Feux d’artifice (Fireworks) from Preludes (1910/1913): Claude Debussy (Krystian Zimerman) DX: Debussy’s preludes are the epitome of impressionist piano music, and I encourage anyone interested to listen to all of them: there is an excellent Zimerman recording available on Spotify, YouTube, and the iTunes store.The two suggested pieces are both brief but renowned, and for good reason. The Girl with the Flaxen Hair has an iconic opening melodic line that you have most certainly heard before, and is a wholly soothing experience. Fireworks provides contrast with sharp cracks and vivid imagery from one hand while the other remains flowing and sustained as one would expect from Debussy. Sonata for Piano and Violin in G minor (1917): Claude Debussy (David Oistrakh/Frida Bauer) David Sheng ’18: While Ravel and Debussy, the two giants of impressionist music, shared great mutual respect for each other, Ravel became rather critical of Debussy’s late neoclassical approach to composition. One of his late works, part of the unfinished cycle of six sonatas, this piece bears little resemblance to his early works, but is nonetheless a gem that shines in the sea of works by Debussy. This piece is now a staple in the modern violin repertoire, and is there for a reason. The beauty of the first movement, the playfulness of the second movement, and the dynamism of the last movement come together and form an absolute masterpiece. Africa (1891): Camille Saint-Saëns DS: Saint-Saëns may be famous for being a composer, but what is not known to the modern audience is that he was a philosopher, an astronomist, a traveler, a linguist. He was a man of multiple talents, succeeding as a musician (well-known as an organ and piano virtuoso), a well-respected music-history scholar, and last but not least, a teacher. Africa, a fantasy written for piano and orchestra, is a reflection of his multifaceted life as a traveler as well as a musician. This work has rarely been performed, like many of Saint-Saëns’s later works, but that in no way devalues it.
ARTS The piece is well-structured, cleverly balanced, and full of intricate elements.
Embryons Désechés (1913): Erik Satie DX: If Satie is known for anything, it’s his weirdness (the polite term is “avant-garde”) and Gymnopedie, and the former was a much larger factor in creating a reputation during his time—we now know him solely for the latter, but his other compositions, such as this one, are even more fascinating. The title “Dessicated Embryos” may sound mildly disgusting, but fear not; it is actually about crustaceans. The piece consists of three two-minute movements that are remarkably attractive to the ear despite their dissonance and odd progressions, and the title will always conjure up odd images regardless of when or with what mindset you listen to the piece. Piano Quartet No. 2, mvmt. 1 (1886): Gabriel Fauré (Rome Beethoven Quartet) DS: To me, Fauré is a hero. His music is sublime and possesses a unique purity; his harmony stands out like an oddball yet it touches my heart. This work opens with a deep, energetic theme, and takes you on a journey filled with surprises... how can one not love it! I simply can’t put it into words. The music demands you to listen, and you shall!
La Valse (Orchestral, 1926): Maurice Ravel (Claudio Abbado/London Symphony Orchestra) DS: “Boring” is perhaps the most commonly used adjective used to describe a waltz, or even classical music in general. While there is little to no truth in that, I have to admit that a certain Strauss may have been the cause (a genius, but slightly overused in pop culture). This piece, however, is nothing like a typical Viennese waltz: it’s dark, it’s cool, it’s energetic, it’s Ravel! While multiple versions of this piece exist, to me this is the most Ravelian, and possibly the most interesting. Ravel was often dubbed the “magician” of orchestration, and his genius is fully demonstrated in this piece, as the different timbres of the various instruments add a different dimension. One must listen to this as an introduction to Ravel.
“Ibéria” from Images pour Orchestre (1905-1908): Claude Debussy (Pierre Boulez/The Cleveland Orchestra) DS: For those who don’t know what “Ibéria” refers to, it is simply the French name for the Iberian Peninsula on which Spain and Portugal are located. Spain has long been fascinating to other Euro-
PAGE 29 peans, especially because of its long history as part of multiple Islamic empires. Spain was almost synonymous with the exotic East, and one can hear this very impression (ha!) in this piece. Debussy was fascinated by Asian music, especially that of Java and India, having first encountered them during the Paris World’s Fair in 1889. Some of these influences can be heard in this piece, creating a strong imagery of the exoticism that fascinated thousands in France.
Nocturne in C Major (1929): Francois Poulenc DX: I found this gem on YouTube while searching for some lesser-known composers to feature in this playlist, and it captivated me from the first few bars. It was refreshing to hear something so beautiful and serene come from an “avant-garde” composer. The influence from Chopin and friends despite its date of composition is another welcome component; it does not hurt that this was written under the label of Nocturne, possibly the genre most associated with romanticism. And all this in under three minutes. Dolly Suite (1893–96): Gabriel Fauré DX: Dolly Suite was titled thus in dedication to the daughter of Fauré’s mistress, who shares in a French tradition of strange nicknames for little girls (ever hear what Debussy called his daughter?). Each of its six movements is, simply put, a pleasant experience. Whimsical, capricious, and without a care in the world, this little suite is a delight that exudes such charm as to whisk me away to some far-off fantastical place whenever I listen. Maybe I’m just projecting. But this is definitely one of my favorite compositions for piano, and likely my favorite duet. Material for further listening: Boléro (Ravel) Carnival of the Animals (Saint-Saëns) Deux Arabesques (Debussy) Cello Concerto No. 1 (Saint-Saëns) String Quartets (Fauré, Debussy, Ravel) Piano Quartets No. 1 & 2 (Fauré) Piano Concerto in G Major (Maurice Ravel) Sonate pour Piano et Violoncelle (Debussy) Requiem (Fauré) Violin Sonata (Franck) Symphony in D (Franck) Images pour Piano (Debussy) Pelléas et Mélisande (Fauré) Daphnis et Chloé (Ravel) La Muse et le Poète (Saint-Saëns) Prélude à l’après-midi d’un faune (Debussy)
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
SPORTS
Summer MLB Primer By MATT MACKENZIE
Summer is approaching, and so too are its three certainties: road trips, hot weather, and lots of great baseball. Even though school has yet to fully wind down, the Major League Baseball (MLB) season is already in full swing; contenders are emerging, the weakest of the bunch are quickly being exposed, and fantasy baseball matchups are being won and lost every week. The pennant race will be heating up by the start of the next school year, so here are five teams to watch out for as the season unfolds as well as quick picks for major awards in each league.
Kansas City Royals: The Royals have sputtered to start the season, largely due to an inconsistent offense that has suffered from the absence of Ben Zobrist (now with the Cubs) at the top of their order. Nonetheless, having won it all last year, they get some benefit of the doubt, and it’s all the better to see them fail. Kansas City will have to rely on a lockdown bullpen of Kelvin Herrera, Joakim Soria, and Wade Davis; their starting rotation is shaky at best and these dominant relievers helped carry the team to a World Series win last season. Still, there are too many holes in the lineup, even with Lorenzo Cain and Eric Hosmer, for the Royals to seriously challenge for a repeat. They will be interesting to watch, but will ultimately come up short. Washington Nationals: Bryce Harper may not be a fan favorite anywhere outside of the nation’s capital, but he is one of the top players in the National League, and can make for a dangerous one-two punch with former Cy Young Award–winner Max Scherzer, who recently struck out 20 players in one game. Daniel Murphy, who signed on with his division rival after seven years with the Mets, is leading the NL in batting and will be a key contributor as well. The rotation is as star-studded as any, with Scherzer and Stephen Strasburg in the folds, but new manager Dusty Baker has a reputation for overworking his pitchers early in the year and appears to be continuing on that trend. With a bullpen lacking in depth, it will be interesting to see whether or not the Nats can sustain their early-season success.
Chicago White Sox: With General Manager Rick Hahn opting to retool rather than completely rebuild, the White Sox has quietly emerged as a serious contender in the American League, and is impressively built on a foundation of pitching that can succeed in an offense-driven division: the AL Central. Chris Sale may have the nastiest off-speed stuff in the game, and José Quintana is not far behind as one of the best number-two starters. The back end of the rotation has turned in a marginal performance to date, but the back end of the bullpen has made up for that deficiency; setup man Matt Albers only recently had a 35-inning scoreless streak snapped. With big
sluggers in the middle of their lineup, the White Sox have proven able to win slugfests and pitching duels, which has carried them to the front of the AL race.
Chicago Cubs: The Cubs, 108-year drought and all, are looking more and more like baseball’s Golden State Warriors. Dexter Fowler, Jason Heyward and Kris Bryant have turned an above-average lineup into a buzzsaw, and the rotation—from preseason Cy Young Award–favorite Jake Arrieta to fifth starter Kyle Hendricks—has been uniformly dominant. However, a regression to the mean is inevitable. The mediocre bullpen and back end of the rotation simply do not add up to the best earned run average (ERA) in the majors. Additionally, the Cubs are vulnerable to dominant pitching in the playoffs, as seen in last year’s sweep at the hands of the Mets. They will be a great team, and it’s never good to bet against manager Joe Maddon, but it would be ridiculous to expect them to win 122 games, which they are currently on pace to do. New York Mets: With a lineup full of power hitters, a dominant rotation laden with flamethrowers, and everyone’s favorite 42-year old (The Living Legend, Bartolo Colón), the Mets really do have it all. They lead the MLB in home runs, and closer Jeurys Familia has converted 27 consecutive saves, a streak dating back to last season. That’s not to say the Mets are an armageddon prepared to steamroll their competition: they strike out a lot, and expected ace Matt Harvey has pitched more like a run-of-the-mill fifth starter to begin the year. Still, the bullpen will hold its fair share of leads, the otherworldly rotation should heat up as the season goes on, and the offense has already exceeded expectations. The emergence of Michael Conforto and Noah Syndergaard, as well as plenty of bat flips from Yoenis Céspedes, will once again have the Mets near the top of the Senior Circuit. It will be a great summer and a great season, and hopefully the bunch in Blue and Orange will be well on their way to another NL Pennant when we return in September. Here are a few quick picks for major awards and the World Series winner. Enjoy another great summer of America’s pastime! American League Rookie of the Year: Nomar Mazara, Texas Rangers National League Rookie of the Year: Steven Matz, New York Mets AL Cy Young Award: Chris Sale, Chicago White Sox NL Cy Young Award: Jake Arrieta, Chicago Cubs AL MVP: Manny Machado, Baltimore Orioles NL MVP: Bryce Harper, Washington Nationals World Series Pick: Mets over White Sox in six games
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Champions League Update By YAFET ANDEMARIAM A spot in the Champions League is the ultimate honor that a European soccer team can achieve in one season. With the likes of Real Madrid, Barcelona, Bayern Munich, and Juventus, this year’s Champions League has been quite the show to soccer fans around the globe. The Champions League procedure is simple: a qualifying process in the summer pre-season, group stages in the fall, and the knockout rounds of 16 after the new year begins. Teams from the same country cannot play each other in the group stages or the round of 16. It then goes to the quarterfinals, semifinals, and of course the final match. In the group stages, a team plays all of the teams in their group, home and away. For example, if Real Madrid were in a group with Juventus, Bayern Munich, and Chelsea, Real Madrid would play each of those teams twice, once each in Spain and once away at their respective locations (Italy, Germany, and England, respectively). In the knockout stages, the fixture is played over two legs at the two teams’ locations; an aggregate scoring system is used, meaning that the team with the highest score over the two games wins. If there’s a draw in both games, whichever team scored more goals while they were away is deemed the winner. In the group stages, Manchester United had to beat VFL Wolfsburg for a spot in the round of 16. However, a Naldo brace and a Vieirinha goal gave the latter the win, banishing the former to the Europa League, another European competition. PSV Eindhoven had managed to beat CSKA Moscow 2–1 to seal the top spot in the group, with Wolfsburg as runner-up. Manchester United’s noisy neighbors had more luck in the group stages as Manchester City beat Borussia M’gladbach 4–2 to pick up the top spot while Italian giant Juventus settled for runner-up after losing 1–0 to Sevilla. Real Madrid, Barcelona, and Bayern Munich had no trouble getting top spot in their groups. Paris Saint-Germain, AS Roma, and Arsenal all got second in their groups, with AS Roma
setting the record for the team with the least amount of points in a group that qualified to the knockout stages. Arsenal had a dismal Champion League campaign, losing its first two games. A surprising victory against Bayern Munich had given it hope of qualification, but it lost 1–5 in the reverse fixture. Arsenal managed to win its last two games to send itself into Champions League contention. Atletico Madrid, Real Madrid’s crosstown rival that got into the final of the 2014 edition, surprisingly finished runner-up to Benfica in its group, while its Spanish counterpart Valencia lost out to Ghent and Zenit St.Petersburg in its group. Chelsea has had an awful season in the English Premier League and there were actually fears of relegation. Its performance in the Champions League was completely different, though, as it won its group with Dynamo Kviv finishing as runner-up. In the most climactic matches of the Champions League, Barcelona played Arsenal while Bayern Munich met Juventus in a clash of the titans. Chelsea met Paris Saint-Germain in a rematch of last year’s round-of-16 game. Barcelona practically killed Arsenal with goals coming from MSN, the nickname for the trio consisting of Lionel Messi, Luís Suárez, and Neymar. The two finished 5–1 aggregate in the span of two games. Bayern Munich beat Juventus 6–4 aggregate after trailing by two goals in the second leg, which would’ve knocked it out of the Champions League. Chelsea lost to PSG 4–2 aggregate, which was somewhat close in the first game. However, Chelsea lost momentum in the second leg, which allowed Zlatan Ibrahimović to score the winner and put Chelsea out of the tournament. Real Madrid encountered and defeated AS Roma 4–0 aggregate. Meanwhile, Manchester City, Benfica, Wolfsburg, and Atletico all advanced to the quarterfinals. Manchester City avenged its fellow English team Chelsea and beat PSG 3–2 aggregate. Benfica did its best, but could not contain the attacking power of Bay-
ern Munich and lost 3–2 aggregate. Real Madrid surprisingly lost in the first leg to Wolfsburg 2–0, but Cristiano Ronaldo put on a show and scored a hat trick to win the tie 3–2. Real Madrid fans were more pleased to see their longtime rivals and current holders, Barcelona, get knocked out by a formidable Atletico Madrid on 3–2 aggregate. Every fixture in the quarterfinals ended at a 3–2 score, highlighting the competitive nature of the Champions League. Atletico Madrid contained Bayern Munich and progressed to the final over the two legs. Saúl, of Atletico, scored a spectacular solo goal to win the first game that gave Atletico the advantage heading to the Allianz Arena. Vidal pegged one back in the second leg, but Antoine Griezmann scored the equalizer that put Atletico all but through to the Champions League final. Lewandowski scored in the last 15 minutes of the game, but could not prevent Bayern Munich from crashing out of the Champions League. The fixture finished 2–2 on aggregate with Atletico going through on away goals. Real Madrid and Manchester City played to dull 0–0 draw before Gareth Bale scored the lone goal for Real Madrid in the second leg. Real Madrid advanced to its second final in three years and will play Atletico again after having met them in the 2013–14 Champions League Final. Real Madrid won 4–1 after trailing 1–0 in the 93rd minute. Sergio Ramos had scored the equalizer at death and Atletico had collapsed. Goals from Gareth Bale, Marcelo, and Cristiano Ronaldo finished off Atletico and gave Madrid their “La Decima” (10th European Cup). Atletico will be looking to avenge that defeat and win its first Champions League in club history. The Champions League final will take place on May 28 at the San Siro (Giuseppe Meazza), home of both A.C Milan and Inter Milan. It will be a defensive and tactical Atletico versus a rejuvenated Real Madrid. The game will be too close to call, and it might take a special player to give one of the teams the edge.
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Rolex Kentucky Three-Day Event At the end of April every year, equestrians from across the country flock to Kentucky Horse Park in Lexington to watch the Rolex Kentucky Three-Day Event. Known to many simply as “Rolex,” this eventing competition is ranked four-star by Concours Complet International (CCI****), making it the same level as the eventing in the Olympics and World Equestrian Games. The Kentucky Horse Park opened in 1978 and was scheduled to host the World Championships that year. Two years prior, the first horse trials (eventing competitions) were held at the park in preparation. The World Championships would continue to be held annually, eventually evolving into Rolex Kentucky, which is now part of the Rolex Grand Slam of Eventing, the three top CCI**** events of the world. Only two equestrians have ever won the Rolex Grand Slam consecutively. Eventing is an equestrian sport comprised of three different disciplines: dressage, cross country, and show jumping, each of which is held on a separate day at a three-day event like Rolex. The first phase, dressage, is considered a basis for the other disciplines, as it shows strength and balance. In dressage, the horse and rider perform a series of specific movements in an area and are judged on rhythm, balance, and the ability of the team to communicate. Master riders are able to give commands to the horse that are nearly indistinguishable to anyone watching. Next is cross country, which is a steeplechase over 30 to 40 fixed jumps. The team is scored based on the completion of the course within a certain time. This makes cross country very fast, and possibly one of the most dangerous equestrian sports. Last is show jumping, which tests suppleness and stamina over jumps with poles that can be knocked down (which contributes to the scoring system). This past April, Michael Jung of Germany won first place at Rolex Kentucky with his mare fischerRocana FST. With impeccable flying lead changes, the team emerged in the lead of dressage by a wide margin of 5.3 points. This was Jung’s second Rolex win (both were with fischerRocana) and contributed towards the Rolex Grand Slam of Eventing. After finishing first at the Badminton Horse Trials in England the next weekend, Jung became the second equestrian to win the Grand Slam. Aside from being the only CCI**** event in the Western Hemisphere, the Rolex Kentucky Three-Day Event has become an important occasion for many non-competing equestrians. Thousands return to Lexington year after year for Instagram meetups and to photograph every team as they conquer the water jumps. For an aspiring equestrian, there is nothing quite like watching your heroes—human and equine—thundering down a grassy slope, clearing huge jumps, or executing a perfect flying lead change. These are the people and horses who make this challenging sport look easy. Despite some controversy regarding eventing’s perils, eventing remains the epitome of equestrian competition. Since its beginning, the Rolex Kentucky Three-Day Event has been the Kentucky Horse Park’s most prestigious competition, and is arguably the most important equestrian event in the United States.
Mayweather vs. McGregor: The Actual Fight of the Century? By JASON WANG
IMAGE PROVIDED
By MAGDA KOSSOSWKA
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
Floyd Mayweather Jr., a retired boxer, and Conor McGregor, a mixed martial artist, are subjects of a widespread rumor that they will fight.
Recently, rumors of a potential superfight between Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr. and Conor “The Notorious” McGregor have filled the hearts of both boxing and mixed-martialarts enthusiasts with joy and excitement. Not only would it be the first serious fight between a boxer and a mixed martial artist since former three-weight International Boxing Federation (IBF) champion James Toney fought two-weight Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) champion Randy Couture, but the amount of interest that would be generated by these two fighters would eclipse that of any former combat sports event. Mayweather is widely recognized as the pound-for-pound king of boxing today and has beaten the best of the best while remaining undefeated as a professional, holding an astounding record of 49–0. He is tied with Rocky Marciano when it comes to most consecutive victories (Ricardo Lopez retired with a record of 51–0, but he did draw with Rosendo Alvarez in their first fight in 1998). In the past five years alone, he has beaten “Sugar” Shane Mosley, Victor Ortiz, Saul “Canelo” Alvarez, Marcos Maidana, Miguel Cotto, and Manny Pacquiao, all current or former world champions. Although Mayweather is often criticized for his evasive and defensive style (or as some describe it, hugging and running), experts can recognize the true complexity and intelligence of Mayweather’s boxing, which uses excellent footwork and head movement to avoid damage while still landing his own punches. However, this style does have its downsides, resulting in one knockout in seven years (over Victor Ortiz in the fourth round). Despite complaints that his style is “boring,” Mayweather is the biggest pay-per-view star of all time, amassing an incredible 19.5 million total buys throughout his career, with 4.4 million of them coming from his “Fight of the Century” with Manny Pacquiao last May that generated $1.3 billion in pay-per-view revenue. What Mayweather lacks in knockout power or ability to brawl he makes up for with dominance. He has neither CONTINUED ON PAGE 33
THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
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“MAYWEATHER VS. MCGREGOR” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 32
It’s Pronounced LES-TER By YAFET ANDEMARIAM
IMAGE PROVIDED
the charisma nor audacious personality of Muhammad Ali, nor the explosive, fearsome, knockout power and ridiculous speed of Mike Tyson, but he is practically untouchable in the ring. His ability to slip punches and cut angles makes even his most challenging opponents seem like amateurs. Even in his closest fights, Mayweather often takes little damage and usually walks away looking just as pretty as he came in. Conor McGregor’s style is wildly different than Mayweather’s. McGregor is known for his brashness inside and outside the octagon. Although his debut in the UFC was just three years ago, he has quickly become an international sports sensation and the UFC’s biggest star, surpassing the likes of Georges St. Pierre and Ronda Rousey. How did he get there? By talking lots of trash. Here are some of his most interesting quotes:
“He’s a quiet, little hillbilly from the back arse of nowhere. His cousin is probably named Cletus.”
“Dustin’s little pea head is going to get removed.” —Referring to Dustin Poirier, a native of rural Louisiana, prior to their fight at UFC 178
“My thoughts on Dennis Siver is he’s a midget, German, steroid-head.” —Referring to Dennis Siver, a German fighter who had been suspended for use of human growth hormone, prior to their fight at UFC Fight Night: McGregor vs. Siver “It turned out he just had a little period pain.” —Referring to Jose Aldo’s decision to remain on the UFC 189 card despite a rib injury
Perhaps McGregor’s most intriguing quality is that he supports his claims outside the octagon by fighting with the same bold style. After taking verbal shots at Dustin Poirier, McGregor scored a TKO just shy of two minutes in. During the fight, he shook his head after every one of Poirier’s strikes. Dennis Siver met a similar fate when he was TKO’d two minutes into the second round as well. Jose Aldo, who was undefeated for 10 years, was knocked out with one punch in just 13 seconds. McGregor’s cheeky audacity has enabled him to generate massive amounts of hype for each of his fights, with his last two fights generating over one million pay-perview buys, shattering former gate records. So what would a fight between these two be like? Well, it would most likely break every record there is to break. A fight between these two would capture the attention of boxing and MMA fans around the world. With Floyd Mayweather’s reputation and Conor McGregor’s ability to generate interest for every one of his fights, the pay-per-view sales would most likely surpass the current 4.4 million record held by Pacquiao vs. Mayweather and would have no problem selling out a massive arena such as the new T-Mobile arena in Las Vegas. Additionally, and perhaps most importantly, the fight would rekindle the conflict between MMA and boxing. The last fight between a boxer and an MMA fighter was James Toney’s fight with Randy Couture in 2010, which lasted just a minute before Randy Couture, an accomplished Olympic wrestler, landed a takedown on Toney and promptly submitted him with an arm-triangle choke. Floyd Mayweather will not have to worry about this, as McGregor is not known for his wrestling in the slightest. The only takedown he has attempted in the UFC was in March during his fight with Nate Diaz. It was easily stuffed and McGregor was submitted by rear-naked choke shortly after, so it is apparent that wrestling is not one of his strengths. On the other hand, he is one of the best strikers in the UFC, utilizing his long reach and hard-hitting left cross to achieve knockouts in all but two of his wins. This is what makes this matchup interesting. McGregor has never had to deal with anyone whose boxing even comes close to Mayweather’s, and the latter has never dealt with wheel kicks or roundhouse kicks being thrown at his body and head. Although the talks of a fight between these two will most likely remain a rumor rather than become reality, the idea of such a fight ever taking place could potentially shine some mainstream light on two great sports and make for a thrilling matchup. 
This season, Leicester is best-er.
Leicester City was lucky to survive its 2014–15 English Premier League (EPL) season. It had barely stayed in the league, and the odds were 5000 to 1 against its winning their first title. Leicester City was fighting for the EPL title mid-season while Chelsea, champions at the time, had been fighting for mid-table spots. Leicester City clinched the Premier League after Eden Hazard, a player who had disappeared for Chelsea this season, scored the equalizer against Tottenham Hotspur in a thrilling 2–2 draw at Stamford Bridge. The Spurs needed the win in order to challenge Leicester. To honor Leicester’s marvelous achievement, I have come up with some words and phrases that rhyme with Leicester. Pester Zester Chester Ancestor Blessed her Arrest her Manchester Uncle Fester Sylvester Polyester Rochester Protester Dispossessed her Reassessed her Tester Alfred Bester Bo Bester Yes sir Don’t test her I’m the best sir
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THE TATTLER • JUNE 2016 • ihstattler.com
MONTH IN PICTURES
IMAGE BY PEARSE ANDERSON
May in Pictures
IMAGE BY NOEL BENTLEY
MONTH IN PICTURES
IMAGE BY NOEL BENTLEY
Abi Campbell ’17 and Emma Karnes ’17 dance together at Junior Prom at the Johnson Museum of Art on May 21, 2016.
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Principal Trumble and Associate Principal Hardesty observe the Senior Prank at the front entrance of IHS on May 23, 2016.
Brad Carruth, a Vietnam veteran, speaks in Ms. Kautz’s class during Soldier Story Day on May 20, 2016.
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Ithaca Street Art Images by ANNIKA BROWNING
They say good things come in threes, and the mural underneath the Green Street parking garage is no exception.
Staring at the mixing patterns and styles on Seneca Street is a good way to pass the time before your bus arrives.
Art in Ithaca is not just limited to paint: this mosaic on the Seneca Street parking garage shows true craftmanship and a beautiful view of Cayuga.
The Cornell Press buildings downtown were painted over the summer by artists from all over the globe in a graffiti competition called “Get Up State!” This competition was created to increase tourism in upstate New York and to celebrate urban street culture and the idea of graffiti as a legitimate modern art form.
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BACK PAGE
Horoscopes By CLAIRE SALOFF-COSTE
Gemini (May 21–June 20): Isn’t that just kick-you-inthe-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? —Rachel (Best of luck to you, Gemini.)
Aries (Mar. 21–Apr. 19): Taurus (Apr. 20–May 20): You’ve been BAMBOOZLED! Welcome to the real world. —Joey It sucks. You’re gonna love
Cancer (June 21–July 22): All right, look; if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for. —Chandler
Libra (Sept. 23– Oct. 22): Ross himself believes you have found unagi. Congratulations!
it! —Monica
Leo (July 23–Aug. 22): Should I use my invisibility to fight crime, or for evil? —Chandler Unfortunately, Leo, you will face a moral question much like Chandler’s this month.
Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): It’s a moo point. It’s `like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. It’s moo. —Joey
Aquarius (Jan.20-Feb.18):
Express yourself. Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20): THEY WERE ON A BREAK
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Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? —Chandler
Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): I’m not sure what to say here, but I was told to mention “Gal Pal Rachel Green.”
Capricorn (Dec. 22 –Jan. 19): Your head, my friend, is not just a hat May’s Solutions:
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The COOLNESS SPECTRUM
COOL Flings & Things Fortifying Boundaries: Know What’s Yours First Memorial Day Friday off Drix has seen Summer flicks Sandals Socks and sandals Weird tan lines Post-AP work
UNCOOL