March 2017

March 2017 • Estd. 1892 • Vol.124 #7 • Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com Ithaca High School, 1401 North Cayuga Street, Ithaca, NY 14850 • FREE

MOVIES VS.

TASTE OF THAI

NEW EXHIBITS

page 9

page 12

page 19

SERIES

REVIEW

AT THE JOHNSON

IMAGE BY BENJAMIN KIRK

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

IHS Brain Team members pose for a photo after a successful competition in New Jersey.

IHS Brain Team Continues Winning Streak On January 28, IHS’s quizbowl team, the Brain Team, traveled to Rutgers University for HFT, their first tournament of 2017. After going undefeated in 10 rounds, Ithaca A defeated rivals High Tech A from New Jersey to win first place. It was the first time Ithaca A had beaten High Tech over three games in the season.

Then on February 11, Ithaca A posted an impressive win at BHSAT, Yale’s annual housewritten tournament. Ithaca A is unofficially the 8th-ranked team in the nation, but had to navigate through a field of Hunter A, the 2nd-ranked team, and Dor-

By DANIEL XU

man A, the 6th-ranked team, to earn its victory.

Quizbowl is a four-on-four game played between two teams. Each game consists of 20 paragraph-long “tossup” questions and 20 bonus questions on a variety of academic subjects, read by a moderator. Each team competes to answer tossups before their opponents do, which awards them a free bonus question to answer by themselves. Players must be silent during tossups and use a buzzer to indicate that they would like to answer. The faster a player answers a tossup, the more points they

can potentially receive. If the answer is incorrect, though, the entire team is locked out of answering the question. Team collaboration is allowed on bonus questions.

The objective is to score more points than the opposing team, demonstrating deeper knowledge by buzzing in early and often.

Ithaca A had started off the season with a drought, coming in third in its first tournament at Princeton on September 24 and going 3–6 at a college tournament at the University of Pennsylvania on October 22, but has since won four tournaments in a CONTINUED ON PAGE 7

PAGE 2

OPINION

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

Editorial

End Political Discrimination Against Minors On November 8, many IHS students watched helplessly as America’s adult population handed the country over to a person who lost both our school’s and a nationwide student mock election in a landslide. Some teachers tried to ignore the election in hopes of keeping politics from the classroom, while others acknowledged that they and many of their students feared that, for the next four years, they were essentially going to be receiving hate mail from the government. This latter group of teachers acknowledged something that America’s democracy patently ignores: teenagers care about politics, think about politics, and have surprisingly educated views on politics.

Yes, this editorial is to explain that the justification for a voting age of 18 is a load of hogwash, and that there is a legitimate need, grounded in the ideals of the Enlightenment, for teens to be able to vote. Perhaps the most common justification for the 18-year-old voting age is that adults have education or maturity that makes them more qualified to vote. However, a Pew Research Center poll from 2007 found that whatever education adults had, it contributed little to their political knowledge: 69 percent could name Dick Cheney as the then-vice-president, while only 37 percent knew that the Supreme Court’s chief justice was conservative—and these statistics give a general picture of adult knowledge of current American politics. While finding representative data on minors is difficult (we couldn’t find any), there is little to suggest that adults are particularly qualified to vote by their education.

Of course, we could also say that knowledge of politics boils down to facts and that facts are easily learned: what really matters is mental capacity and judgment. In the context of voting, here teens are adults’ equals. After Austria recently lowered its voting age to 16, one study concluded that “In sum, lowering the voting age does not appear to have a negative impact on input legitimacy and the quality of democratic decisions.” Psychology also supports teenagers’ voting rights. Although there is a large body of research saying that humans’ brains don’t fully develop until their mid-twenties, psychologists today are also finding that teenagers are often capable of adult thinking and judgment. This may seem like a contradictory statement, but a 2009 study published in American Psychologist elicited a degree of explanatory nuance: teens easily mess up impulsive decisions, but when given significant time to deliberate—as would happen during the months-long leadup to any election—they perform essentially as well as 25-year-olds. Combine this with the fact that an adult with mild dementia is able to vote and a smart, politically engaged high-schooler isn’t, and we see that our system is illogical at best and actively discriminatory at worst.

To date, however, much of the voting-rights legislation that we’re proud of focuses little on competency and more on political equality to combat discrimination. Prominent among this legislation is the Voting Rights Act of 1965 (which supports the right of any high-schooler to be educated enough to vote): “... there shall be a rebuttable presumption that any person who has not been adjudged an incompetent and who has completed the sixth grade... possesses sufficient literacy, comprehension, and intelligence to vote in any election.”

The Voting Rights Act focused on guaranteeing African Americans the vote so they would be able to to defend their interests.

Teens today are in a similar, though far less dire, political predicament: they have different interests from adults and lack the power to defend them. According to Fuse, an agency that specializes in marketing to teens and millennials: “...teens are almost seven times more likely to list gun violence, eight times more likely to list war, and three times more likely to list education as among the most important problems.”

Thus, teens are being trampled by a system that currently doesn’t acknowledge them or let them fight for their interests.

And the political and philosophical thought since the Enlightenment—which America and much of the world are founded on— has tended to see a systems in which a demographic is unable to defend its substantial interests as wrong.

It is important to note that if any one demographic group has a greater right to vote than all the rest, it’s teenagers. When politicians act, teenagers have to live with consequences that their elders don’t, which is especially troubling if teenagers have no say in their elders’ actions. This is easy to see in the impetus for the Vietnam-era 26th Amendment, which lowered the voting age from 21 to 18: proponents argued that anyone old enough to be drafted should have a say in the democratic process. One can logically go a step further: by analogy, weighting the votes of seniors the same as those of 18-year-olds, or if they could vote, 16-yearolds, is a bit like allowing every tourist in Ithaca to vote in local elections because the few days they spend in Ithaca give them as great and as relevant an interest in the place as locals.

This last point may be going a step too far, considering that political equality is something our society is founded on. However, many places, from Austria to Brazil to Scotland, as well as the city of Takoma Park, Maryland, have recently lowered the voting age to 16 without any newsworthy consequences—apart from, as was reported in an Economist editorial, a high turnout (at least in Scotland) and increased chances of the teens voting in the future.

America should join that movement and lower the voting age to 16. Young people care about the world, and the government is perhaps the best body to improve it. As Game of Thrones, one of teens’ and millennials’ most popular shows, put it: “Our fathers were evil men, all of us. They left the world worse than they found it. We’re not going to do that; we’re going to leave the world better than we found it.”

The Tattler is the monthly student-run newspaper of Ithaca High School. All currently-enrolled students at Ithaca High School are welcome to submit writing and photographs. As an open forum, The Tattler invites opinion submissions and letters to the editor from all community members. Email submissions to editor@ihstattler.com or mail letters to: The Tattler 1401 North Cayuga Street Ithaca, NY 14850 Send submissions by March 10 to be included in the April issue. The Tattler reserves the right to edit all submissions. All articles, columns, and advertisements do not necessarily reflect the views of editorial staff.

To read The Tattler online, visit our website at www.ihstattler.com.

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

OPINION

PAGE 3

Letter to the Editor

Staff 2016 – 2017 Editor-in-Chief

On Teaching Writing Good (Tambien: Lo Siento Perezoso)

Daniel Xu ’17

editor@ihstattler.com

News Editor

James Yoon ’17 news@ihstattler.com

Opinion Editor

Luca Greenspun ’17 opinion@ihstattler.com

Features Editor

James Park ’17

features@ihstattler.com

Literary Editor

Emma Karnes ’17 literary@ihstattler.com

Arts Editor

Amalia Walker ’17 arts@ihstattler.com

Sports Editor

Ben Salomon ’17 sports@ihstattler.com

Back Page Editor

Abe Messing ’17 backpage@ihstattler.com

Center Spread Editor

Vaynu Kadiyali ’19 centerspread@ihstattler.com

Copy Editor

Casey Wetherbee ’17 copy@ihstattler.com

Photography Editor

Magda Kossowska ’19 photo@ihstattler.com

Graphics Editor

Olivia Moreland ’17 graphics@ihstattler.com

Layout Editor

Francesca Chu ’18 layout@ihstattler.com

Business and Advertising Manager

Andrew Stover ’17 business@ihstattler.com

Webmaster

Tristan Engst ’17 web@ihstattler.com

Distribution Managers

Thea Clarkberg ’18 Lucy Wang ’18 distribution@ihstattler.com

Social Media Manager

Annika Browning ’17 sm@ihstattler.com

Faculty Advisor

Deborah Lynn

advisor@ihstattler.com

Dear Editor of the Tattler:

So, after reading the editorial “On Teaching Good Writing” in the February edition of the Tattler, common sense and a slightly phallic grease stain on the margin of the page (I’ll probably get to that) demanded that I google this question: “Is there a term for an editorial that it is, ipso facto, guilty of the very same failings and ineptitude that it is criticizing?” I found no term for that (Oddly, “Living With a Narcissist” was the second item that popped up upon my query.

Very odd. For more on that, please do read Henry Alford’s November 2015 article in Vanity Fair...but I digress...or do I because I should also mention the fleeting image that came to mind as I was reading the editorial in question of a sign on my college English professor’s office door that read, “The Department of Redundancy Department”...but I do, I am digressing…). The very first item to appear from my query was a term for the opposite of what I had described called “rational criticism.” So thank you Tattler editorial staff for allowing me to coin a new literary term that I shall herewith call “irrational criticism.” In sum, the irrational criticism editorial, about which I have already spoken about (refer to sign on professor’s door) “On Teaching Writing Good,” by virtue of its pretentious, formulaic, wooden, and “key holish” qualities, demonstratively disproved itself. Gracias, mucho! (con respecto a ese, un momento, por favor…)

To be honest, I would just as soon stop right here. I have made my point--several points, actually, and mostly in English. Besides, I have things to do, papers to grade, dogs to walk, articles to read, dozens of eggs to set right side up, etc.. Yet, the haunting thought that a member of a top-tier school might totally overlook my very snappy letter to the editor or even my newly coined term simply because I failed to include an “interesting story or vignette” (there’s that phallic grease stain again, but later..) to which I could attach my wagon and “communicate certain values or personal strengths” absolutely compels me--I say absolutely compels me to write more. Yes! If I am going to be “Teaching Writing Good,” I will show, not tell.

Let me just say that teaching writing good at any level is not about teaching writing; it’s about inspiring thinking: “Inspiring Thinking Good.” For anything of any quality to be written good, you have to want to say something good, well not good in the Mother Theresa sense of the word, but something important, something truly interesting and exciting. If you don’t want to say anything, then don’t say it. Take the F. It’s like singing a song. You’ve got to want to sing a song, to believe in the song, to feel the song--in your gut--otherwise it’s not going to be enjoyable for anyone, least of all the top-tier school people who are really in tune with that sort of thing...

It’s like when I had a class of students, and everyday the same girl would come in late and give me some spontaneous-lie story for her tardiness e.g., her maid had lit her hair on fire with the hair drier, her sister had a panic attack while riding in a gua-gua, she ate what she thought was a Cheeto, ad nauseum.. It was obnoxious, but when some of the other students started to do it too, I knew I had to teach them good. They were all very lame excuses, which was the real problem, actually--very lame spontaneous lie stories, without any focus or zing or guts! And once a month had turned into almost daily. So I decided to teach them good: I remember it was a Friday, viernes, and I came running into class eight minutes late, my shirt ripped with some of the buttons pulled off, scratches on my face, you know--my hair all tousled, with charred black smudges on my face and arms, and I was kind of out of breath and wild-eyed, too. They looked up at me, mouths agape: “Dotto, que paso? What happened? Why are you late?” So I told them what had happened: ”I missed my paseo, so I had to hitch one from a guy on a moto. But it wasn’t just any guy on a moto; he was un enano, a small person, and instead of driving me to school, he suddenly veered off the calle and zoomed up this mountain road, then a traves la selva along a dirt path, and way up on the backside of a mountain I hadn’t noticed before. The jungle was like being backstage in a closed-down theatre, with wild density all around, like green steam with puffs of florets, and mite-eaten vultures and parrots looking down from thigh-thick vines, no people and no houses--jungle...and then he came up to this...this little treehouse, well not a treeCONTINUED ON PAGE 4

PAGE 4 “LETTER TO THE EDITOR” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3

house exactly, but a four-story-high tree trunk with no branches made into a house with obtuse-angled windows and different floors and stuff, and painted all bright colors, and there were all these little people, you know, la gente enanos, circled around the big branchless trunkhouse and there were ladders on all sides leading up to the top of it where there was an antennae and on top of that sat el perezoso, a tree sloth (go figure) perched on the very top rung of the antennae, and it was apparently breaking up their radio reception, so they were trying to get it down from there, and they had tried to grab it and remove it, but no one was tall enough to reach it. Two of the men, apparently, had tried to reach it by one climbing on the other’s back, but the climber had fallen off the climbee and banged his head and some of los enanos were attending to him when we skidded

OPINION

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

to a stop on the moto, with a big backfire ‘KaBoom’! A few people were trying to coax el perezoso down from there, you know, with large cones of pink cotton candy, some of which they’d set on fire to kind of scare it, and some held candy-striped umbrellas and were twirling them to disorient it, you know, to try and get it to lose its balance, but it wasn’t working. I understood, implicitly, why the man had brought me there. I was tall enough to reach up and remove el perezoso from his antennae redoubt. They have sharp claws, los perezosos, so, you know, someone gave me leather gloves... And after I removed it, they all let out a great shout and stopped what they were doing and joined hands in a circle and sang a song with el perezoso in the middle..

Lo siento Perezoso No te queremos En nuestro arbols

Vate muy lejos mijo Con tus dos grandes ojos Y tres dedos afilados!

Vaya con dios Lo siento Perezoso

And then he rode me back to school and gave me a lollipop despues de desmontar.

Ahi!” I never had that problem with the students again. Oh, they were still late, but they didn’t try to hand me any more spontaneous-lie stories. They just admitted they were late because they were perezoso. But the point is: it’s a good thing I had the Tattler--it kept the grease from the moto’s chain off my freshly creased white pants and provided me with a fairly decent reason to write this “irrational criticism.”

Lo siento!

Juan Carlos Nunez

Editor’s Note: We initially received this letter from a pseudonymous email address—belonging to a Juan Carlos Nunez—but realized after opening the doc and discovering the revision history that it was written by Richard Horan, an English teacher here at IHS. Since it is not our policy to publish letters under a pseudonym, we contacted Horan and received permission to publish it under his name.

However, to preserve the unique voice of the letter, we chose to leave it exactly as we received it and not edit it at all.

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THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

PAGE 5

IMAGE FROM THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE

NEWS

“Over 1,000 protesters flocked to the reservation to show their support and solidarity with the people of the reservation.”

An Overview of the Dakota Access Pipeline Protests

By MATT MACKENZIE, Staff Writer

Imagine being forced to live in the most remote corners of the Upper Midwest because other people came and took your land for themselves. Then, imagine that those same people came back and wanted to take the last scraps of land you have left and dig a gas pipeline on what you consider sacred ground. They were going to dig up your land and contaminate your water, taking the last of what was rightfully yours.

The Lakota people of Standing Rock Reservation, which is located approximately two hours south of Bismarck, ND, have faced this plight since early 2016 due to the scheduled completion of the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL). The multi-year construction project, originally scheduled for completion on January 1, 2017, will culminate with the installation of a natural gas pipeline running from the Northwest corner of North Dakota to Patoka, a small town in Illinois. An original plan to route the pipeline through the Missouri River near Bismarck was rejected because it would run too close to the city’s municipal water supply. The alternate plan would reroute the pipeline through the southern part of the state, approximately a half-mile from Standing Rock, subsequently risking contamination of the water supply on the reservation.

In April, tribe elder LaDonna Brave Bull Allard established a camp to organize spiritual resistance and protest the construction of the pipeline. Over the next three months, over 1,000 protesters flocked to the reservation to show their support and solidarity with the people of the reservation. The protests soon became a national storyline. Dave Archambault II, the tribal chairman of Standing Rock, became a leading voice for the cause. He voiced

concerns before the Department of Justice, shared updates from the camp on social media, and even sent email newsletters with the latest news. Some of these newsletters contained instructions on how to support the tribe’s cause from home by calling government offices. For example, one letter asked readers to call the Army Corps of Engineers and urge them to move forward immediately with their Environmental Impact Assessment (EIA) of the DAPL project.

Finally, on December 4, pressured by the 2,000-plus veteran volunteers who joined the protest that weekend, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers blocked further construction of the pipeline under the Missouri River so that they could conduct the EIA test.

The Standing Rock reservation seemed to have prevailed, if only temporarily.

Everything would change when Donald Trump was inaugurated just one month later. On his third day in office, President Trump signed an executive order that allowed construction to continue, overturning the Army Corps’ decision from December.

Two weeks later, on February 7, Trump ended the EIA. The reversal is currently being contested in federal court, and there will surely be much more to this story before it is over, including a march on Washington and a three-day lobbying session in D.C. from March 7 to March 10.

Anyone interested in learning more about the protests, how to get involved, or receive newsletters can visit standwithstandingrock.net for more information.

NEWS

PAGE 6

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

Women’s March on Ithaca

By AURORA WULFF, Staff Writer IMAGE BY AURORA WULFF

such as “This is what democracy looks like,” “My body, my choice,” and “Love not hate—that’s what makes America great” were held. In the end, the counter-protesters chose to leave.

The first interaction demonstrated the ability of two very different views to coexist without conflict. While more confrontational methods can lead to unwanted and certainly unnecessary conflicts, it can also take away from the true message behind the march itself: not one of dividedness, but rather of equality, social justice, human rights, and holding the government accountable for its actions.

The Women’s March can be summed up with the words of the late author and activist Elie Wiesel: “There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.” Peaceful protest has proven time after time to be an effective way to bring about positive change and call attention to the critical issues of the time, and that was abundantly clear during the Women’s March.

IMAGE BY AURORA WULFF

An estimated 10,000 Ithacans came together on January 21 for the Women’s March on Ithaca, which was held in solidarity with the Women’s March on Washington. This turnout was about 7,100 more than anticipated by the organizers, a trend that paralleled that of the March on Washington. The march began at Ithaca City Hall and ended at the Ithaca Commons, where speakers and musicians roused the crowds of passionate, pink-hatted protestors that filled the area.

The considerable size of the Women’s March—around a third of Ithaca’s population—shows the inclusive and progressive nature of the Ithacan community. It gave those who felt frustrated with the results of the election, among countless other issues, a chance to raise their voice.

It allowed those unable to travel to Washington an alternate outlet. There was an interconnectedness and energy within the march that was felt by many for the first time since the election. Many people’s feelings of frustration and helplessness were channeled into this peaceful demonstration.

Protesters carried multicolored signs reading “Women bring down Walls,” “Resist,” and “Dump Trump,” as well as famous

IMAGE BY AURORA WULFF

Mayor Svante Myrick holds a sign at the Women’s March on Ithaca.

quotes from Martin Luther King Jr. and Malala Yousafzai. People also carried signs reading, ”My body, my choice” and “I stand with Planned Parenthood,” though not everyone agreed with these statements.

There were two groups of counter-protesters, each with contrasting methods of spreading their message. One group stood silently outside of Immaculate Conception and Beverly J Martin Elementary School, holding up signs with their pro-life message. The marchers chose to quietly ignore them and let them share their point of view.

The other group of counter-protesters, located across from the State Theatre, chose a more provocative technique. They

verbally voiced their views and held signs that read “Planned Parenthood murdered 323,999 babies in 2014,” and “Choice,” with a graphic picture of an aborted fetus. Their actions prompted a protester to cover the graphic sign with his jacket. After doing so, he was asked a by a nearby police officer to remove his jacket, the sign being the pro-life activist’s property. The protester complied, but eventually a large crowd of protesters responded by gathering around and covering the pro-life activist’s image with their own signs. Chants

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

NEWS

PAGE 7

“BRAIN TEAM” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

row: ACF Fall at Yale on November 6, BrainBusters Fall at IHS on November 19, and now, HFT and BHSAT. “When I started playing quizbowl I would have never thought we’d make it this far as a team. I’m been playing with these guys since sophomore year and these recent victories have solidified our position as a major nationals contender,” said Ithaca A captain Casey Wetherbee ’17.

Ithaca A consists of Andrey Shakhzadyan ’17, Casey Wetherbee, Luc Wetherbee ’17, and Daniel Xu ’17, with James Park ’17 sometimes subbing for Luc as an alternate. Every member of the A team is a senior, so it’s more important than ever for the team to keep up its momentum and continue the winning streak. Tournaments Ithaca A plans to attend include Columbia Spring on March 4, High School Challenge at TC3 over several days in mid-March, and BASQT on April 8. The team’s final season culminates in a pair of national tournaments—HSNCT in Atlanta on May 27 and PACE NSC in Chicago on June 10.

The Brain Team’s B team, Ithaca B, also attended HFT, finishing with a respectable 6–5 record. Members of Ithaca B have included Jeremy Sauer ’20, Isaiah Gutman ’19, Vaynu Kadiyali ’19, Julian Perry ’19, Francesca Chu ’18, Aidan Peck ’17, and team captain James Park. B-team members will have big shoes to fill upon the A team’s complete graduation, but they definitely have the potential to succeed.

“The B team’s growth has been spectacular over the past two years,” Park said. “Even with the departure of me and several others after this year, I’m confident that our quizbowl team will continue to improve and find success.” Kadiyali, a candidate to be future captain of Ithaca A, echoed Park’s sentiments. “The current A team has not only demonstrated to me the dedication and team chemistry needed to win in quizbowl, but they have patiently mentored underclassmen and helped us along our individual quizbowl careers,“ he said. “Seeing their growth and achievements over these past two years has given me an exemplary look into what it’ll take to win when the A team graduates, and though they have set an extremely high bar, we’ll try our hardest to remain a highly competitive team.”

More information about the Brain Team and quizbowl can be found on advisor Mr. Kirk’s website, mrkirkmath.com/ihsbrain-team.

PAGE 8

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

OPINION IMAGE PROVIDED

Thoughts on Death and Disposal

By CHLOE WRAY, Staff Writer

When I think of how I want to die, I am left undecided between painful yet dramatic and memorable, or a soft death in my sleep.

The only real aspiration I have surrounding death is to live to be 101 so I can die having seen three centuries. This is ultimately just a factoid for my obituary, though, and out of my control.

What I have come to realize is that while my fate may be out of my hands, my burial is not. I have plenty of stipulations in regards to how and where I want to be laid to rest.

Somewhere along the way I started thinking about being buried alive. The sort of buried alive after having gone into a coma and everyone thinks you’re dead, so they bury you, and then some years later grave robbers try to steal your diamonds and pearls and they find scratch marks on the lid of the coffin. Think Buffy season 6 premiere meets A Tale of Two Cities, Jerry Cruncher the grave robber. The stuff of nightmares, waking up from a coma, knowing there is no way to escape suffocation, getting blisters on my fingers anyways, and dying with a tormented mind. I guess nowadays they pump you full of chemicals before you’re buried, so the buried alive thing may not be a huge concern, but as someone who doesn’t like chemicals now, why would my spirit like them? In the words of folk singer John Prine: Please don’t bury me Down in that cold cold ground No, I’d druther have ‘em cut me up And pass me all around

Once I started thinking about being buried alive, I started thinking about being cremated alive. Imagine if you were in a coma, and woke up right as they locked the door to the kiln and there you are enduring psychological torment for the split second before you are zapped to death. Even if you were 100 percent dead, your ashes are still mixed with those of whoever else was in there before you, because there is no way to clean out that dust all the way, or so I assume. Its definition sounds like a chemistry experiment: “the combustion, vaporization, and oxidation of a cadaver” makes it sound like a harsh act that strips you of personality. When your family puts you on the mantle, or scatters you by the sea, they are also scattering Jane Doe, and that sort of intimacy freaks me out.

Right now, my dog Harvey is sitting on my dining room table.

He died two years ago, and we keep his ashes in a pot my Nana made. As funny as it is when people open up the urn and realize it is a pot of a decimated dog, the ashes smell really weird. It’s a smell that sticks with a person, which I wouldn’t really want my descendants to have to experience. I also wouldn’t really want to continue having to witness family dinners from the afterlife, forgotten on the mantle and never scattered. The fact that we have yet to disperse Harvey speaks to the fact that my ashes would probably never see the light of day.

My mom always talks about a funeral pyre, like the type you find in Thailand or Norse mythology. There is still the burning, but you are on your own personal pyre, being sent out to sea, and you know that you won’t end up on a mantle. The future of my body, my ashes, would be decided by me, and there would be a nice air of mystery to being lost at sea in a pseudo-sense, without a plaque or tombstone. If I happen to be in southeast Asia at my time of death I would be down for this form of disposal, but chances are my fate will come at home in America, where open flames on the Pacific (always Pacific over Atlantic) are probably frowned upon.

People talk constantly about giving back, making something of their lives. Having a natural burial—being buried with the seedling of a tree wrapped in a biodegradable sheet—cuts down on chemical use, which is always appreciated by the earth. Moreover, you are returning to the land from which you have taken. Even from the afterlife your legacy is able to live on with positive benefits. A natural burial is more feasible than a funeral pyre, less claustrophobic than the idea of a coffin, and less scary than cremation.

I respect the tradition of cremation and coffins. They both have religious and cultural connotations in the ways in which they honor the dead. Both are undeniably off-putting ideas to me, though, and when you think about it, a natural burial is the most traditional form of disposal of all; cremation and coffins were not the ways people were disposed of a thousand years ago. Death has become just another commercial facet of our consumerist culture. Even if I weren’t pro-environment, pro-individual, and weary of capitalism, I would change my will now to state in no uncertain terms that if anyone dares cremate me instead of giving me natural burial, my spirit will be coming back to do some haunting.

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

OPINION

Movies vs. Series: Which Reigns Supreme?

By JULIA LUNA

In recent times TV series have been all the rage. People talk about TV series all the time: “Oh I just started a new series!” “I can’t decide what new series to watch,” and so on, and so forth. However, as Netflix and Amazon Prime consume us slowly, the darling, never-tobe-forgotten-but-of-late-forgotten movie has been getting less and less of our attention. TV series may currently be the bee’s knees, but when it comes to this battle, my vote goes to movies.

Undeniably, long TV series provide an opportunity to delve deeply into both characters and storylines. I will not lie—after 10 seasons, when the two lovebirds finally admit their love to each other, your heart overflows with joy and perhaps it even crosses your mind to throw a mock wedding with your childhood stuffed animals because you have become so invested. Additionally, most TV-show episodes run shorter than actual movies, which can provide you with that “quick fix” when you need it. However, that 40-minute episode can quickly lead to a three-hour binge. Is that something you necessarily want?

After completing a series you have dedicated hours and hours to one show. In the same length of time you could have watched several movies, each with different plots and settings, directing and cinematography. It is much easier to diversify what you watch when you watch movies. Additionally, you can still develop the long storyline and recurring characters through a movie series. You don’t have to anxiously await the next season or grieve the cancellation of a show.

You can just appreciate a really good movie and know that two hours later it will be all over. So why have two hours when you could have 20?

Movies are much more concise and to the point by nature. If you only have one shot, then it must be your best shot. By its nature a movie must be selective, at least more so than a five-season-long TV series. That isn’t to say that being more selective means that it is necessarily “good.” There are really good TV shows and really bad movies. That being said, TV series tend to drag on and on and anyone who has seen a TV series has also seen its demise. It is a sad, sad time to see a TV show crumble and subsequently end. You would almost rather the plot hadn’t dragged out so long. You’d almost rather it ended on the third season. You probably wish it had just been a quick affair, like a movie or something.

Perhaps the greatest advantage of movies is actually going to the theater, although many people will argue that the greatest thing about TV shows is flopping on the couch and eating chips. But the difference is like going out to eat at a restaurant versus taking out and eating at home. Although food is the same either way, going out to eat is just so much more festive! If anything, in the monotonous routine of life we ought to be more festive. “Hey—do you want to go to the movies?” Whether it is your mom or your no-longer-platonic crush, suddenly it’s a date. I speak for myself, but a big screen and good sound quality are both much much more attractive than my small, cracked iPhone, and even my TV for that matter. Also, there is something so calming about the ritual itself. The quiet, dark movie theater, the anticipation, the hushed whispers, the quiet crunching of popcorn. Two hours later it’s all over and that’s for the best. I came, I saw, and I don’t have to worry about who will get killed off next season.

PAGE 9

The BEST

Radio Show

By AMALIA WALKER

Because the radio might not be a priority on Friday nights, it’s likely that the two best radio shows available in the WRUR/WITH region have yet to even enter your radar. But tuning in to 88.5 or 90.1 between 6 p.m. and midnight on a Friday to spend your night with Scott Wallace and Doug Curry will be worth your while.

Rejuvenation (6:00 to 9:00), hosted by Scott Wallace in Rochester, covers the Soul and R&B of the 60s and 70s.

The show is speckled with familiar tunes and artists like Al Green, Aretha Franklin, the Four Tops, and Labelle, to keep the skeptics tuned in, but Wallace largely steers clear of the hits we know and love, exposing lesser known tracks of the genre. Rejuvenation is what no Spotify playlist or playlist-generated “radio” can bring you. Wallace digs up material of the genre that hasn’t withstood the decades that Marvin Gaye’s “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” has. He brings to life Motown artists’ intriguing covers of unsuspecting songs like Bob Dylan’s “Tonight I’ll Be Staying Here With You,” obscure covers of well-known Motown originals, little-known B-sides of stars as legendary as Otis Redding, and music that is altogether rare. He keeps it alive, and it’s a treat. Wallace adheres to the show’s theme, wide enough that it doesn’t sound like a broken record, but narrow in a way that WVBR’s The Vinyl Departure, for example, doesn’t satisfy.

At 9:00, Scott Wallace checks out, leaving Doug Curry’s deep, seductive voice and blues expertise to host DJ Blacks & Blues (9:00 to midnight). The show begins with its theme, Wynonie Harris (known as Mr. Blues) singing his own “Mr. Blues is Coming to Town,” an upbeat track with a hint of soul: a smooth transition from Rejuvenation. From there, Curry covers all the subgenres of blues, from its origins in Lead Belly-esque Delta blues to B.B. King’s more approachable urban, electric blues. Sometimes he’ll play pre-rock-‘n’-roll urban blues of the 1940s, a kind of early rhythm and blues that can be difficult to come by. He plays boogie-woogie of the 30s and jump blues of the 40s, and he knows it all. Curry has been hosting Blacks & Blues since 1982; the man has clearly been seeped in blues, and understands it in a way that he translates to his listeners, purveying the genre upon us with mastery. He demands full attention; solitude, even. Curry knows blues historically on a national level, but also Rochester’s historic blues scene with a personal level of authenticity that is truly special to witness. To stay up late (I recommend in the kitchen) immersing yourself in the blues and Curry’s voice is an experience worthy of sacrificing plans.

I also recommend Salsumbo, on WVBR (93.5), Saturdays, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m.

PAGE 10

OPINION

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

What Triggered Jacob This Month

Two Months Of Microaggressions

By JACOB SILCOFF, Staff Writer

With the Literary Issue, I’ve been forced to compress two months of triggering into a single column. At the same time, I’ve been triggered more and more by things that are too small by themselves to warrant an entire article. Thus, in this special edition of WTJTM, I will detail a list of small annoyances—“microaggressions,” to follow a theme that coincidentally microaggresses some IHS student—that drive me absolutely nuts.

1. Useless Signature Forms As some of you who follow me on Snapchat (@jacobsilcoff) may know, being forced to have parents sign forms for no reason is a major pain. Offenders include teachers, who for some reason feel a need to make us get our parents to sign their syllabuses (my parents don’t care, I’ve forged the signatures on all of them thank you very much), as well as dance contracts, digital safety forms, etc. None of these are binding in any way; it’s not as if the district needs your signature to punish you for breaking rules or teachers need a parent signature for literally anything. It’s a waste of time, and it feels a bit patronizing—are we not responsible enough to follow the rules and be responsible for our schoolwork without having our parents involved? And for those who actually do need their parents to be involved, does anyone really believe these forms are helping? I think not. For “other” information, see the edition of “Tristan’s Angst” titled “Field Trip Forms” published in the September issue of The Tattler.

2. The Graduation Ceremony A few things: Firstly, I don’t understand the hype. The administration loves to scare students by threatening to stop them from walking at graduation, but in all honesty I can’t fathom why anyone would want to sit for hours listening to the names of their classmates followed by a generic speech, a better version of which could be watched on YouTube any day—but no one chooses to because why would anyone want to.

The other issue I have here is the requirement that students wear a cap and gown. It’s one thing to recommend it, but to force people to participate in such a silly tradition is insane. Caps and gowns are ugly, and they can only be worn once before ending up stowed away in a closet or landfill. Forcing people to spend $35 to look stupid during the most boring day of their life microaggresses the crap out of me.

3. Library Sign In I’ve talked about this before, so I’ll just pose a few questions: Why don’t administrators require students to show ID and a schedule before entering H-Courtyard, the Quad, or the Cafeteria? What makes the library special? If anything, shouldn’t the library, which has adult supervision and educational materials, be viewed as a better place to allow students to freely go?

4. “There is no...”

This is a linguistic annoyance more than anything else, but there is a specific phrasing choice that bothers me a great deal,

which begins with “There is no...” and then ends with something the speaker wants to forbid. Instead of sounding like an order or desire, it sounds like a statement of fact, which serves to make the speaker look wrong instead of authoritative. So when Mr. Trumble says “There is no food in H-Courtyard,” I get annoyed, because everyone knows that there is food in H-Courtyard, whether Trumble and his cronies like it or not. What he means to say is “Do not eat in H-Courtyard,” the proper form of the imperative. The same goes for “We don’t...” and “You don’t...”

5. Talking about oneself in the third person Jacob won’t name any names, but he can’t stand this habit.

6. Mandatory Community Service Government classes mandate community service, a sentiment which I agree with, but a result I do not. When people are forced to do something, they lose their internal drive to do it. It’s simple psychology (“overjustification effect,” to use that AP Psych vocab). We need to get people to like community service, and mandating it isn’t the right environment for that. I don’t exactly have an alternative, but I think a new method should be considered.

7. Senior Privilege My qualm with senior privilege isn’t the privilege; it’s the “senior.” If students are given parental consent, and keep up their grades, there’s no good reason that juniors, sophomores, and even freshmen shouldn’t be allowed to leave school during their free periods. I’m currently working to extend senior privilege to juniors in Student Council, but because administrators are as they are, my dream of reasonable independence for all students is a near impossibility. That shouldn’t stop you from complaining to your AP, which I encourage each and every one of you to do.

8. “School Appropriate” People love to throw this phrase around, but almost nobody can actually explain why something is or is not “school appropriate.” Case in point: last year, when I was running for Student Council President, I had a line of posters that involved simple puns and minimal graphic design. Besides the infamous “The Steaks Are High” poster, which nearly got me in trouble for containing a rather large image of a joint (which I still don’t see as a problem—I highly doubt anyone actually thinks seeing a picture of a joint will increase drug use rates or anything measurable like that), what angered me most was a poster I had that involved nothing more than a piece of clothing. The slogan read “We Need Your Support,” and contained a cartoon image of a bra. No breasts of course, god forbid students might see a female boob, let alone a female nipple—just a blue bra. Principal Trumble claimed the poster to be not appropriate for school, a sentiment that I find inexcusable and personally offensive. Telling someone you don’t think they’re mature enough to handle seeing an article of clothing that half the CONTINUED ON PAGE 11

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

OPINION

PAGE 11

On Net Neutrality

By RYAN CUNNINGHAM, Staff Writer

Nowadays, it is hard to imagine a world without Facebook, YouTube, Google, and their many counterparts and offshoots. The widespread reliance on and usage of various Internet-based sites and programs goes to show how influenced modern society has been by the advent of the digital era. But with great power comes great responsibility, and Internet service providers (ISPs) appear to be trying to up their role in regulating Internet connections and content. Such a policing of Internet traffic comes packed with dangers. It has the potential to violate various rights that we hold dearly, such as freedom of speech, and resultingly impact what should be unrestricted communication between individuals.

Net neutrality is the principle that the government should prevent ISPs from interfering with Internet traffic, giving all content providers an equal voice on the web. There are a number of viewpoints on this issue. Net neutrality is viewed by many liberals (including Steve Wozniak, the co-founder of Apple, and Barack Obama) as necessary for a functional and safe Internet, and many conservatives as against free market principles. The policing of web communications is comparable to slicing a silken spider web into a ragged bunch of bits. No matter the viewpoint taken, it is safe to say that the pressing issue of net neutrality remains widely debated.

There are currently laws and regulations in effect that attempt to ensure that some degree of net neutrality is preserved. However, within a period of time, these laws could very well cease to exist due to a number of powerful forces being against net neutrality. A testament to the threats posed to net neutrality is Donald Trump’s Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, Ajit Pai. Pai has prohibited nine companies from issuing discounted highspeed and has taken a number of other stances in opposition to net neutrality that may continue to further damage this core principle of the web. Additionally, the communications giant Comcast has controversially blocked traffic from BitTorrent, a popular venue for Internet piracy, in a major violation of one of the tenets of net neutrality: one should not discriminate based on the type of traffic.

In a sense, it is understandable why someone may not completely agree with net neutrality. Some forms of traffic, such as peer-topeer torrent-based traffic, are popularly used for pirating copyrighted content, making them relatively undesirable in the eyes of ISPs. Torrenting can also prove taxing on bandwidth. However, although there may be people using this traffic for the wrong reason, not every single individual who wishes to utilize the BitTorrent protocol is a crook.

BitTorrent is frequently cited in an umbrella argument about taking up too much bandwidth. Among the other bandwidth-devourers are VOIP (a means of transmitting voice through the Internet that is present in applications like Skype) and the service dreaded by ISPs but loved by almost all others, Netflix. The popular video-streaming service does take a serious toll on data bandwidth. With bandwidth being a resource that ISPs must pay for, it is natural that they see Netflix as a problem. But make no mistake; ultimately it is we, the customers, who are paying for Internet services, and we should have the freedom to watch programs of our liking if we deem it worthwhile.

Senator Ted Cruz, having taken money from Comcast during his campaign, has publicly spoken out against net neutrality. Although he may have wholly valid reasons for his position on net neutrali-

ty, his argument is suspect due to his business connection. Quite a large number of corporations take a semi-hostile stance towards net neutrality, although many prefer not to admit it. Personally, I think that placing restrictions on the web or limiting offerings poses a large threat to our freedoms. Internet access is becoming more and more of a necessity for everyone in the country. Limiting that resource, even in a manner that isn’t malicious, can have an adverse effect on work, education, and leisure. Since we pay for the Internet already, we should have a fully-fledged Internet, not some shriveled husk of an Internet that pretends to be something that it isn’t.

Imposing strong restrictions on net neutrality may further erode freedom of expression. What if an ISP filtered out and blocked all of the customer traffic going to and from the New York Times website because of their qualms with the publisher of the New York Times, Arthur Sulzberger? Would it be fair and just to do so? Another danger that may arise in the future is the use of the bandwidth excuse to censor sites or services.

Money talks, but people talk too. It is important to speak out against the greed and personal motives of ISPs. We should not let big companies or the government interfere with freedom of speech.

The ordinary person’s ability to use the Internet shouldn’t be hindered. The web is being put to use more frequently than before and it is being picked up as a prime communications channel, as reflected by the school’s adoption of the Chromebook and the uploading of class assignments to Google Classroom. Less an optional service nowadays than a critical resource, the accessibility of the Internet should not be inhibited.

“WTJTM” CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10

population wears every day is patronizing to the extreme, and a perfect example of why the term “school appropriate” needs to be qualified with the actual harms of the offending thing. If you can come up with a reason that a bra would be inappropriate for school (no circular reasoning please), shoot me an email at jacobsilcoff@gmail.com—I’ll feature the best response in my next column.

9. MLA Format Why? If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to get to a website via an MLA citation instead of a hyperlink, I’d have more money than Donald Trump made in 1995.

10. Classroom Requirements Every year teachers feel the need to go over the “rules” of their class, which is fine in specific cases, but there are some tropes that need to end. For instance, teachers remind students they need to get to their class on time, which is very convenient so that students don’t confuse that class with the classes they’re allowed to be late to. The patronization thing plays a role here too.

While it faded away in my higher-level classes, I have a distinct memory of a certain English teacher lecturing on “respect” and the like, treating a class of high-school students like preschoolers who didn’t know how to behave civilly before class had even started.

PAGE 12

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

FEATURES

The Tastiest Thai in Ithaca

By FIONA BOTZ, Staff Writer

IMAGE BY FIONA BOTZ

IMAGE BY FIONA BOTZ

IMAGE BY FIONA BOTZ

Taste of Thai Express, located on 209 S Meadow Street, is described by Google as a “lowkey destination for familiar soups, curries, rice dishes & pad Thai, with outdoor seating.” I agree with this description 100 percent; in fact, this is exactly how I would describe it, mainly because of the “low-key” part—I prefer Taste of Thai Express to the Taste of Thai on the Commons because of how chill its vibe is. Express and the original restaurant are very similar, but Express has much quicker service (hence the name), is slightly cheaper, and gives bigger portions. It also always has fresh flowers, and at around five o’clock, they bring out candles for each table. This creates a relaxing, enjoyable ambiance in the restaurant. If you are driving, Taste of Thai Express is a lot more accessible than the restaurant on the Commons because it has a parking lot right next to it.

The service is excellent as well; the waiters are courteous and are willing to get you anything Taste of Thai Express always has fresh you would like. flowers on the table.

Express has a wide selection of appetizers, soups, and salads to choose from. Their Thai veggie spring rolls are great, coming with a sweet peanut sauce and served refreshingly cold. They also serve a great tom kha, which is a spicy hot and sour soup made with coconut milk. One of their most popular dishes is their delicious pad Thai; however the curries are the most appealing to me. With each curry, you can choose a protein and whether you would like brown or white rice.

My favorite is the green curry—I get it practically every time! The menu has an indicator for almost every entree that tells the Tom kha: “a spicy hot and sour soup made with coconut milk.” customer how spicy a particular dish is. This helps the customer know what they are in for when the dish comes. The moderately spicy green curry is served in a bowl with your choice of rice on the side. As a hot dish, it’s a delightful mix of spicy and sweet perfect for a cold winter evening. The waiter also offers chopsticks and a spice rack, a nice touch for those who wish to give their dish an extra kick.

Taste of Thai Express is a simple, fun, and casual restaurant that leaves the customers feeling satisfied and relaxed. The food is delicious and there are many options to choose from on the menu. One could go many times without ever getting bored of the food. I recommend it to anyone who wants a little “taste of Thai” in Ithaca.

Green curry: “a delightful mix of spicy and sweet perfect for a cold winter evening.”

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

FEATURES

PAGE 13

Hall Monitor

By SANKOFA MCLAURIN

What is your favorite thing about Ithaca?

“The environment.”

— Kalena Yearwood ’19

​“The trees.”

— Leo Jung ’19

​“I can’t answer that question…”

— Max Waisbrot ’19

​“Swimming in the lakes.”

— Maddi Wall-Crawford ’20

​“The frequency and availability of public events.”

— Andrew Stover ’17

​“We’ve got some good burgers.”

— Molly Stoff ’18

FEATURES

PAGE 14

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

That Sounds Like a You Problem

Overnight Oats Recipe

By ABBY KATZ, Staff Writer

IMAGE PROVIDED

An Underclassman’s Complete Guide to College Visits

By FIONA BOTZ, Staff Writer

Q: Hey Abby. I’m a sophomore and my parents are starting to pressure me about college stuff. They want me to go on a couple of campus tours over spring break, and I honestly have no idea what to expect. What are college visits like, and how can I prepare myself?

Signed, Clueless in Chemistry

A: Great question, Clueless! You’re on the cusp of entering a traumatic and monstrously overhyped stage of your life, so prepare yourself. Feel free to refer back to my earlier column, “Tips for the College Application Process,” whenever you need to throughout the next two years. As objectively flawless as that article was, however, reading your question has made me realize that I grossly overlooked the importance of one major step of the college search process: the campus visit.

Campus visits provide prospective students like yourself with the opportunity to make a big impression on the administration.You want them to remember you, even if it’s for the wrong reasons. A visit can also be a good opportunity for you to get a more personal feel for the school, but that’s largely irrelevant. Let’s focus on what you can do to stand out instead.

Once you’ve registered for your visit, the first step is to do some research. Don’t just look for statistics like class sizes or useless information like the majors they offer—any chump could find that information off the college’s website. Instead, shake it up a little. Use sites like ratemyprofessors.com to dig up dirt on the school’s teaching staff. If the school you’re visiting is local, use Yik Yak to familiarize yourself with the student body’s most hated classes, fraternities, and everyday inconveniences around campus. Have this information handy whenever your tour guide or any other representatives start getting a little too florid in their descriptions of how wonderful their college is.

With research out of the way, it’s time to prepare for the day of the visit itself.

Usually, the first thing you’ll do upon arriving on campus is check in at admissions.

You’ll then be directed to sit in a pamphlet-plastered waiting room, where you’ll spend the next 15 minutes avoiding making eye contact with any other students or parents waiting with you until the tour starts. Use this time as an opportunity to assert your dominance; regardless of whether or not you plan on applying to this school, you should be viewing all other students as your competition. If you see a parent grab two brochures for their kid, grab three for yourself. If another student is reading a book while waiting, find a bigger book and read that. Upside down. It’s all about playing the game.

Once your tour finally starts, the same technique can be employed on your student guide. You’ll notice that they walk backwards—that’s the preferred mode of transportation for most college students. Show your initiative and college readiness by doing the same. Bonus points if you can outpace your guide, and if you trip over fewer objects.

Don’t be afraid to ask your guide the hard-hitting questions. Ask about drug use, crime on campus, if this was their safety school. Snag a few posters when you visit the mock freshman dorm room; it’s pretty much already an extension of the school bookstore, so you might as well.

Long story short: if no one has called campus security before the end of your visit, you frankly haven’t gotten a full picture of everything the college has to offer.

Congratulations! You’re one step closer to college acceptance!

You’re welcome.

—Abby

Enjoy overnight oats with fun toppings like peanut butter, granola, and fruit.

Perhaps you’re always rushing out the door to catch the bus, or never know what to make for breakfast because mornings are chaotic at your house. A great way to solve problems like these is by cutting down your breakfast preparation time. With these oats, all you need to do in the morning is take them out of the fridge and dive in! Get ready for a simple and easy way to make your mornings a little less hectic and a lot more delicious.

Base Recipe 1 cup whole rolled oats or instant oats 2 cups milk

Add-ins Cinnamon/nutmeg/cloves Peanut butter Chia seeds Strawberries, blueberries, or any other fruit chopped into small pieces

1. Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well with a spoon.

2. Cover the bowl with a plate or aluminum foil and place in the fridge.

3. In the morning, when ready to eat, take out of fridge, stir well again, and enjoy!

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

FEATURES

PAGE 15

Social Justice Week: An Opportunity for Community Engagement

Some members of last year’s SJW planning committee (from left to right): Abby Cooper ’16, Molly Swartwout ’16, Madeline Turner ’18, Seldoen Oshoe ’17, Emma Karnes ’17, Zeke Estes ’17, Amalia Walker ’17, Sophie Partington ’17, Martin Jander ’17, Chloe Wray ’17, Abby Katz ’17.

2017 brings with it the fifth iteration of Social Justice Week (SJW), which will take place from March 13 to March 17. This is my fourth year on the planning committee, and being a part of the committee has given me an opportunity to see the powerful effects of spreading awareness of social justice causes. The growth of the event is undeniable: in 2014, there were 11 distinct presenters, 16 presenters in 2015, and 29 presenters arranged by the planning committee in 2016. The rise in the number of speakers allows for an increase in the diversity among the topics covered, which makes the event more relevant to a greater population of students. Just as my own definition of social justice has broadened and matured, the week has grown to reflect the wide range of issues that can be encompassed by social justice.

Each year I am asked if the week has a theme: human rights, environmentalism, domestic or international issues, to name a few. The week could benefit from specificity, and perhaps with a keyword like environmentalism, it would become more accessible to some students. As I’ve created my own definition for social justice, though, it has become clear that most issues are far too interconnected to be categorized under one keyword. Most issues concerning the environment, such as the Dakota Access Pipeline, are also issues of human rights—those of Native Americans and their land—and bring about questions of the political equality surrounding eminent domain. If anything, the logistics alone of finding so many speakers on a single topic is difficult, even in a town as resource-rich as Ithaca.

Without a theme, the past four years of presentations may have come across as scattered. Many have spoken of international issues, which are undeniably important, but lacking in immediate relevance to students. We could talk about global citizenship, but

in a school and education system whose curriculum seldom allows room for current events, students may not even have a basis for understanding issues that affect them daily. Are we up-to-date on the status of Ithaca as a sanctuary city? Do we know the plans for the development of the city and how this could affect affordability and cost of living?

This year, while SJW may not be flying under the banner of a distinct theme, community has been the idea and goal I have been working towards. I have asked myself constantly how we can create an event that brings students’ attentions to issues that either affect them directly or affect those around them. By bringing in more IHS clubs to present, the audience is more engaged listening to their peers. The past two years, panels by the Sexuality and Gender Alliance that speak to the experiences of many LGBTQ youth have drawn in crowds that pack York Lecture hall to the brim. We hope to have more presentations by staff members and are putting a priority on bringing in presenters who are able to speak to local concerns. Each presenter is additionally asked to emphasize the ways in which students can become active in the community.

The goal of SJW has always been to educate and promote awareness. SJW provides a platform to further strengthen and diversify the IHS community. Often, the opinions outside of the liberal majority in Ithaca are ignored. When selecting presenters for SJW, the idea is that the talks will provide a basis from which students can form their own opinions in hopes of starting conversations between people with differing points of view. SJW has given me a greater appreciation for the power of social justice, not only through protest, but also through the power it can have to bring a school like IHS together to start a dialogue surrounding our community.

IMAGE BY NOEL BENTLEY

IMAGE PROVIDED

By CHLOE WRAY, Staff Writer

Mr. Lira, a recurring presenter, speaks on his involvement with Cesar Chavez and farm workers rights.

Ithaca and the Refugee Crisis

By VAYNU KADIYALI and JOSEPH YOON

In 2011, a series of mass demonstrations took place in the Middle East and Africa, signalling the beginning of violent conflicts and revolutions in what we know as the Arab Spring. The Spring has caused a surge of internally displaced civilians—those forced to flee their homes but unable to leave their countries—and refugees, who have have made treacherous journeys to other countries around the world to escape from war and persecution.

Although people have moved away from their residences to avoid imminent threats throughout history, there arguably has never been a migration with consequences this severe.

Conflicts that have provoked a deluge of refugees have included the Taliban insurgency and the War on Terror in Afghanistan, the Saudi-led coalition’s civilian bombings in the ongoing Yemeni Civil War, the Somali diaspora fleeing al-Shabab and other militant groups that control the nation, and the Syrian Civil War initiated by opposition to President Bashar al-Assad. Today, most of the refugees are concentrated in neighboring countries: Turkey, Lebanon, and Jordan have taken in a combined 5.5 million Syrians. Despite the clear incapability of these countries to provide for these millions of refugees, other more adept countries, like the United States and many countries in Europe, take in relatively few refugees due to negative sentiments and economic uncertainty.

Since the beginning of the Syrian Civil War, the U.S. has accepted 10,000 Syrian refugees, and plans to resettle an average of 70,000 to 85,000 a year over the next few years, barring a Congressional override of the current quota. This is with the intention of preventing the weakening of already fragile European countries such as Greece and Italy, which are economically not able to sustain this kind of population flux. The UN proposes to increase its financing for global humanitarian appeals to coercively increase the number of accepting countries, enroll more refugees in schools worldwide, and grant more refugees the legal right to work.

10% and 30% proportions of Afghanistan’s land that are controlled by the Taliban and are contested by the Taliban, respectively.

These are the largest proportions since the U.S. invasion of Afghanistan in 2001

8

number of countries from which a civil war or internal conflict has forced refugees to seek asylum abroad

10.25 million

number of refugees who have left these 8 countries since 2013

30 years

approximate duration of the mandatory military conscription of citizens of Eritrea. Approximately 2,000 Eritreans flee each month to avoid the forced requirement and its near slave-labor conditions.

Political Response 9.8 million number of internally displaced people in Syria, roughly the same as the population of Michigan

70%

percentage of internally displaced South Sudanese women who have been raped while living in UN-operated refugee camps

Myrick:

The current migrant crisis has elicited a massive public discourse and political response in Western Europe and North America. A common sentiment regarding the acceptance of refugees and asylum seekers has been one of distrust. Fears exist regarding the thoroughness of the current refugee vetting process in the U.S., and many feel that accepting refugees is a decision that comes with increased security risks given the instability and radicalism that drove these migrants to leave their homes. Other prominent arguments of this viewpoint have been that refugees have a negative economic impact on the nations that accommodate them, taking jobs and resources that would otherwise have been available to citizens. Given that civil wars, not external conflicts, are the cause of these displacements some argue that the U.S. has no responsibility to accommodate refugees.

A majority of Americans are distrustful of the resettling of refugees in the U.S.; a 2015 Washington Post poll showed that 67 percent of Americans feel that given the circumstances surrounding this exodus, it is best for the U.S. to not offer asylum to refugees. This opinion is reciprocated in the U.S. by most members of the Republican Party—including our own Congressman, Tom Reed.

The most outspoken opposition to Tom Reed in our local community is Ithaca’s mayor, Svante Myrick. Myrick and the Democratic Party view the refugee crisis in a very different light, believing accepting refugees to be a basic humanitarian requirement of the affluent and peaceful nations of the world. They also believe that the current refugee vetting process is adequate in preventing radicalized or malicious individuals from gaining entry to the U.S. The Democratic Party as a whole believes in the ability of refugees to have a very positive impact on the economy, citing the long-term successes of other refugee communities from the past, including the Vietnamese, Cuban, and Laotian diasporas.

“I’ll do everything in my power to welcome Syrian refugees to Ithaca. We must guard against terrorism, and if they have no place to go, these refugees are the most likely to be victims of terrorist acts.”

Reed:

“It’s only right that we prioritize America’s security and thwart any potential act of terrorism on our soil… We need to stop the Syrian refugee program until the security measures are in place to guarantee our safety.”

IHS is well-prepared to educate refugees and acclimate them to life in the United States. ICSD’s prominent English as a New Language (ENL) program is offered at four elementary schools, as well as at DeWitt Middle School and IHS at the secondary levels.

All ENL enrollees begin by taking a state-created baseline English-language-skills test, and are taught English and given academic assistance in core subject areas in small classes with multiple instructors. “The ENL program gives students learning English extra support.” explained Karen Jordan, one of the ENL instructors at IHS. “We specialize in the realms of reading, writing, speaking and comprehension of English, but we also work in content area support. When students are scheduled for those classes, we assist them in work from their other classes.” As with most other New York State ENL programs, in addition to “stand-alone” ENL classrooms, students are also exposed to normal classes in which other students are native English speakers. The teachers of these classes collaborate with ENL instructors to ensure that course content is of appropriate difficulty.

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IMAGE FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES

ARTS

Bernard Malamud’s novel God’s Grace raises questions about religion and human nature.

Bernard Malamud, Judaism, and God’s Grace Considered one of the most important Jewish writers of the twentieth century, Bernard Malamud published eight novels and countless short stories during his career. Most of his works dealt with Jewish characters and themes, including anti-Semitism in Tsarist Russia, Jewish immigrants in New York City, and European ghettos. He is known for investigating love, religion, and unlikely cooperation between characters.

Malamud’s final novel, God’s Grace, brief and reflective, follows Calvin Cohn, a rabbi’s son and the sole human survivor of an apocalyptic flood sent from God to punish mankind for its inevitable evilness. The first living creature that Cohn encounters is Buz, a young chimp boy whom Cohn’s colleague had trained in language. Eventually, the two wash up on the shore of an island, where they encounter a small community of chimpanzees.

Buz quickly teaches his peers how to speak, and the bulk of the story deals with Cohn’s passionate attempt not just to establish personal bonds with the chimpanzees, but to teach them the tenets of human virtue. He adopts an ambitious goal very early on: to breed a new species of beings, not quite chimp but not quite human, who have shed the imperfections that led to humanity’s downfall. In the end,

By EMMA KARNES

following a crescendo of upsetting events, Cohn’s vision collapses into the chaos and cruelty to which all animals, including humans, naturally succumb.

The story is told through a meditative voice, one that doesn’t only relay happenings, but also contemplates the greater meaning of even the most trivial occurrence. This is mostly done in reference to God, whose concept and character is invoked throughout as Cohn struggles to respect his Lord while coming to terms with His great destruction and mercilessness.

Cohn also wrestles with Buz over their concepts of God. Buz, who had been taught Christianity by his first human teacher, tells Cohn that “God is love.” Reacting strongly, Cohn replies, “God is not love.

God is God.” Later in the book, when Cohn carves out ten new commandments for the chimp community, he even includes “God is not love” as the third commandment.

Cohn’s perception of God as a fearful figure lacking in mercy and compassion develops over the course of the book, resulting in Cohn’s diminishing humility.

Additionally, Cohn’s somewhat humorous discovery that God can’t count (as evidenced by his mistake in allowing Cohn to survive) contributes to the erosion of his respect for Him, which parallels the breakdown of Cohn’s chimp community

and implies some connection between his spirituality and his success in saving intelligent life.

The entire book calls into question God’s purpose, man’s relationship to God, and human nature. In the end, both Cohn and the reader face the same unanswered questions: why has Cohn’s chimpanzee community failed? Is it because of Cohn’s repetitively blasphemous thoughts? Or is it because intelligent life cannot ever maintain peaceful civilization?

Considering both Malamud’s Jewish tone and perspective and his transition to agnostic humanism later in life, it is evident that God’s Grace comes directly from the spiritual existence and confusion of one man. Despite this, its broad themes of human evil, powerlessness, and spirituality can resonate with any reader, Jewish or not. Through its tightly-woven plot, unlikely relationships, and sharply sketched characters (for whom the reader easily develops fondness despite the undeniable fact that they are not human), Malamud forces certain conclusions on the reader: perhaps we ought to give humanity’s future more consideration than we are currently giving it; and, blasphemous or not, God’s grace cannot always save.

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

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PAGE 19

Etchings and Engravings at the Johnson

By JULIA LUNA

It is often forgotten that even before the surrealists, artists had surrealist tendencies. One of the current exhibits at the Johnson Museum of Art, Escaping the Ordinary: Artistic Imagination in Early Modern Prints, reminds us of the wild products of the human imagination and artistic endeavors even before such ideas became mainstream. The exhibit features many etchings, engravings, woodcuts, and other paper prints from celebrated artists such as Francisco Goya, Rembrandt, William Hogarth, and even the famed printmaker Albrecht Durer. The prints are quite beautiful and done in incredibly rich detail. Artistry aside, perhaps the most interesting aspect of these prints is their subject matter.

The prints contain mythological, religious, and Classical themes, and are peppered with social and political commentary. Many 16th-century prints featured Classical references, through imagined landscapes depicting Greek and Roman myths. This fascination for all things ancient even translated into prints of wealthy 16th-century women posing in the “Greek style” with gossamer white gowns and some crumbling colonnades behind them. The exhibit also features prints done by Hogarth, the famous 18th-century British satirist responsible for Gin Lane, among other works. Hogarth’s piece on exhibit comments, with great humor, on the corrupt political system of his time. These prints seem incredibly fitting for our current political situation, but with Hogarth long gone, we must settle for tasteless memes instead of his beautiful prints to attack politics. Some of the most beautiful exhibits were Goya’s dark and twisted prints, made with heavy shading and brazenly ghoulish figures. Those prints were less political and more of a condemnation of the ignorance and social convention of 18th-century Spanish society.

My favorite piece was a 3” by 4” etching by the 15th-century Dutch engraver Lucas van Leyden called Death with an Hourglass Pursuing a Noble Lady, a title nearly larger than the piece itself. The piece was dainty and well-made with impressive perspective given its tiny size.

What was most interesting in this little square of paper was its subject.

A skeleton (“Death”) chasing people around is strange to begin with, but it even has some hair on its head and some anatomically-incorrect organs in its middle section. It was interesting to see the manifestation of this fear, the fear of death in the form of art. Death comes to us all, but in a time when social class was much more rigid, religion more prevalent, and death unpredictable, what did death mean? To the noble lady? To the artist? To us?

Another fascinating aspect of the collection was how many prints had a strange, surreal dimension to them. For example, Death of Procris

by Giorgio Ghisi looks quite normal at first, but upon a second look you realize that in the middle of the print is a woman riding two horses with waves of hair radiating off of her head, bursting through the clouds and into the canvas. Another example is Leda and the Swan by Cornelis Bos, in which, when looking closely, you realize that there is a baby in an amniotic sac discreetly placed in the corner. This intersection of witchcraft and classical mythology is only one example of the products of the artist’s imagination and their turbulent times. As we ourselves move into turbulent times, Escaping the Ordinary is an exhibit that allows us to immerse ourselves in a strange and different world that, in reality, is not much different from our world today.

Art as a Coping Mechanism

By MOLLY SPACKMAN

Sit down, relax, and create something. Do it for yourself.

With no expectations of a masterpiece, you can avoid the frustration that comes from a need for perfection. My advice to those who want to create is this: have no expectations, no preconceived idea of what you want to draw or paint. In this way, it can be therapeutic. Otherwise, art can easily be made difficult, pointless and frustrating, and thus ineffective in combatting whatever you might be coping with. This process of letting your mind and hands create harmoniously will result in pieces that you can appreciate far more than those you scrutinize for hours trying to get just right. Plus, it will help you de-stress and calm down from a difficult day. Beyond that, expressing yourself through art can help you get through, and better understand, your thoughts.

For those who really don’t like drawing or anything in that realm of creation. Looking at art can have the same de-stressing effect. I suggest going to an exhibit or a museum and finding art that speaks to you. Look for pieces that calm you. Write about them and reflect: how can you connect and relate to this art? Making connections with another person’s traumas through their artwork is interesting, and can be helpful to your own personal coping. It can help you express your emotions without having to talk to anyone or do anything mentally straining.

Art is so expansive. It is an entire world of creation and ideas. If you are going through a difficult time in your life, try sitting down and making some art. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece; simply the process and satisfaction of making something will help you immensely. So just try it, and see what happens.

A Potpourri Playlist 1.

2.

3.

4.

By LUCA GREENSPUN

“Sofia” - Alvaro Soler, 2016 “Second Hand News” - Fleetwood Mac, 1977 “Spanish Pipedream” - John Prine, 1971 “Drive Slow” - Kanye West ft. Paul Wall and GLC, 2005 5. “Please Let Me Wonder” - The Beach Boys, 1965 6. “Here We Go Again (Studio)” - Kin Ship, 2010 7. “Big Bamboo” - Lord Creator, 1964 8. “Red is the Rose” - Tommy Makem, 1990 9. “Then He Kissed Me” - The Crystals, 1963 10. “Life on Mars” - Seu Jorge, 2005

ARTS

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

IMAGE PROVIDED

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La La Land: Revolutionary or Rehash?

By ISAIAH GUTMAN, Staff Writer

If you look at the reviews for films this year, it would be easy to come to the conclusion that it was an incredible year in film, with many apparently all-time great films, especially Moonlight and La La Land. The former has been heralded as a revolutionary film, changing how we will look at storytelling, while the latter has been seen as a relic from a bygone, better era. However, neither of these films really wowed me, Moonlight being the only of the two which had much redeeming value. Frankly, while I have enjoyed many films this year, none of the most hyped films have been outstanding in my eyes.

When I entered La La Land, I certainly did not expect it to be the best film of the year. The opening scene confirmed by reservations; I simply do not see the appeal in beginning a film with a completely unrelated scene, which only set a tone inconsistent with nearly all other scenes in the film. As the film went on, I had a mixed reaction, as I thought the production was of fairly good quality, while much of the acting, music, and especially the plot ranged from mediocre and boring to bad.

First, I would like to state that I did not hate this film. Rather, I found it extremely boring and incredibly trite. It seemed much of the plot was pooled from countless media that director Damien Chazelle has consumed throughout his life, and many gimmicks used were predictable or became so from overuse. Additionally, many of the acting performances fell flat, especially those of Gosling and Legend. While their characters were believable enough, their performances did the film no favors and ended up coming off as bland and cliche, which was surprising to me after Gosling’s turn in The Nice Guys from earlier in 2016. I was ambivalent towards the entire film, but I was most bored during the seemingly endless musical numbers, most of which were unoriginal and ut-

terly contrived. Similar tricks were used for each one, and I won’t go into those here, as I would not like to spoil the film. However, the musical numbers were often uninspired and monotonous.

Clearly, the film was meant to lift spirits in many cases, but the pieces did more to anger me than delight me.

The non-musical parts, however, were charming, though much of the attempted humor fell flat. Chazelle excels at producing realistic scenes, even if many were too melodramatic for my tastes.

He also created a great character in Sebastian, who lit up many of the scenes that were bearable in the film. Unlike Mia, he seemed like a more believable character, at least before he joined a band.

Speaking of Mia, Emma Stone’s acting was quite good, even if her character fell flat. This is a stark contrast to many other poorly acted, well-crafted characters that appear in the film. Finally, while I may have been bored by many of the musical pieces, I cannot say that they were badly made. Indeed, the choreographers and cinematographers absolutely deserve the awards they have gotten, and the leads do a good job in this area as well. I only wish the film could have been more captivating, I would have thought it one of the best I have seen.

La La Land is a well-made, boring film. It combines many elements of past eras with new technology, but it lacks the great acting, music, and plot of many films it “borrows” from. To those wondering if they should spend their time and money on the film, I would say to go for it if you enjoy the art of filmmaking or love musicals and/or romance. Otherwise, you may be better served going to a funnier or more dramatic film, based on your tastes. All in all, I’m sure La La Land will be remembered well, but time will tell whether it goes down with the greats.

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

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IMAGE PROVIDED

SPORTS

The Roaring Thirties at the Australian Open

By ASHA DUHAN

This year’s Australian Open in Melbourne took place from January 16 through January 29, and was full of early upsets, twists, and turns. The tournament was also a resurgence for players over 30, and a rebirth of tennis’s Golden Age of Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, and Serena and Venus Williams.

This Australian Open gave Federer his 18th Grand Slam title in a spectacular turn of events, despite the Open being Federer’s first tournament appearance in six months. The 35-year-old had very limited match play and practice this season prior to the tournament. Nevertheless, Federer defeated many experienced, highly ranked players throughout his rounds in the tournament, including Tomáš Berdych (ranked 10th), Kei Nishikori (5), fellow Swiss Stan Wawrinka (4), and eventually Nadal (9) in the finals.

On the women’s side, Serena Williams won her 23rd Grand Slam title, cementing her unrivalled position in history and returning to her position of dominance as the number one women’s tennis player in the world.

On the men’s side, the number one player in the world, Andy Murray, lost to Mischa Zverev in the round of 16. Zverev defeated Murray in five sets by using a variety of old-school tactics, including serve and volley, as well as rushing the net at every opportunity. Meanwhile, the world’s number two player, Novak Djokovic, lost in the second round to Denis Istomin, who was then ranked 117th. At the beginning of the match, Djokovic seemed shaky and dropped the first set in a tiebreak. Throughout the match, Djokovic failed to convert key break points and was outplayed

by Istomin’s serves and powerful ground strokes. Boris Becker, Djokovic’s former coach and six-time Grand Slam singles champion, said, “I’m as astounded as anyone else. Novak was a bit too defensive; he never took the initiative and stayed too far behind the baseline.” After losing his number one ranking to Andy Murray, Djokovic has had a clear decline in his level of play and is no longer seen as the undefeatable force that had previously dominated the tour for the past few years.

Rafael Nadal, a fan favorite and tennis idol throughout the world, recently had come back from numerous injuries, and

played spectacularly well throughout this tournament, reaching his 21st Grand Slam final. He is the obvious favorite for the upcoming French Open in May and is on a quest to gain his 15th Grand Slam title.

The Australian Open final was a match that tennis fans dream of: a return to the classic “Fedal” finals of the early 2000s. Personally, I am an avid fan of Nadal, but I was not disappointed whatsoever when Federer claimed his 18th Grand Slam title. Federer played with a youthful effervescence that was hard not to applaud and celebrate once he won. In addition, Federer, like Nadal, is a fan favorite and is known for his humility and wise words. After he won the tournament, he commented that he would have gladly shared his victory with Nadal, and was just happy to reach the finals of another Grand Slam. Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal have both achieved the status of best in the game, and have set new standards for upcoming generations of tennis players in terms of sportsmanship and class on the court.

On the women’s side, 35-year-old Serena Williams defeated her older sister, 36-year-old Venus Williams, in the final to return to her number-one position. The women’s side of the tournament was also coupled with a string of early losses for top-ranked players, including Angelique Kerber, formerly number one in the world, who lost to Coco Vandeweghe (ranked 20th) in the round of 16. In addition, Vandeweghe defeated numerous top-ranked players besides Kerber, including Garbiñe Muguruza (7), before her eventual loss to Venus Williams in the semifinals.

Overall, the 2017 Australian Open in Melbourne reaffirmed the stature of the tennis greats Roger Federer and Serena Williams. The tournament also foreshadowed the end of Djokovic’s reign and a bright future for young, upcoming stars in both the men’s and women’s sides. The 2017 Australian Open will be remembered for its five-set classic final between Federer and Nadal. Additionally, Serena Williams’s 23 Grand Slam titles have set a new standard of excellence and will remain such for years to come.

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THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

How to Fix the Knicks IMAGE BY VAYNU KADIYALI

By VAYNU KADIYALI

The Knicks beat the 76ers on a buzzer beater on February 25.

The New York Knicks are approaching a point where they cannot continue a push to reenter the Eastern Conference’s playoff race. They sit stagnantly as the 12th seed of their conference (out of a total 15 Eastern Conference teams), occasionally winning a closely contended road game to a solid playoff team, but then managing to lose the next game horribly at home to a team with a record under .500. At this point, I’d be surprised if anybody in the Knicks organization wanted to make a run for the eighth playoff seed. After all, what difference would it make if they did manage to make the playoffs? They’d assuredly get swept by the Cleveland Cavaliers, only to have another middling draft pick and a continuation of the mediocrity that they have exhibited since 2013. At this point, it is abundantly clear that the New York Knicks must tank now, and they must begin a full-scale rebuild to finally become a respectable team.

The problem begins with head coach Jeff Hornacek. Since his first season coaching in the NBA—a fluke 2013–14 season in which his mediocre Phoenix Suns team somehow managed to win 48 of 82 games—his teams have both had records under .500, and this year will be no exception. Hornacek gives no attention to defense, instead assigning one of his associate coaches to coordinate the entire defensive effort of the team. This year’s Knicks team looks completely lost on the defensive end as a result; even the former Defensive Player of the Year, Joakim Noah, has no idea what to do.

Both the Knicks’ transition defense and their overall defensive ratings rank in the bottom five of the league this year. The key to finally having an acceptable defense is to fire Hornacek after he leads the Knicks to the height of the draft lottery this season. They could replace him with a number of people, including David Blatt, the solid all-round coach who led the Cleveland Cavaliers to the NBA finals in 2015 before being fired for poor relations with players.

The second problem is at the Knicks’ center spot. Former star Noah is simply a horrible player on both ends of the floor this year, and he’s already 31 years old, so it’s definitely not getting any better from here. Although it may be impossible to trade his $72 million contract, the Knicks certainly need to try. I see only two teams as being receptive to a trade for Noah: the Portland Trailblazers and the Brooklyn Nets. The Trailblazers have signed some terrible deals of their own, and the Knicks could exchange Joakim Noah for Evan Turner, Meyers Leonard, or a combination of any of the other overpaid players on that team.

On a different note, the Nets are in a situation of not having

enough talent on their team, and not having the means by which to acquire any. The Knicks could trade Noah for a few of the Nets’ expiring veteran deals to rectify their foolish signing, and both teams could be better off as a result. I believe that both organizations, the Nets and the Trailblazers, have superior coaching staffs to the Knicks, and Noah could potentially become a productive player again if coached and trained correctly. With Noah gone, the Knicks could shift Willy Hernangomez, their extremely talented and high-potential backup center, to the starting position. The Hernangomez and Porzingis frontcourt duo is one that this organization could build around for the long run, so they should start to play them together as soon as possible.

The last key to making the Knicks a respectable organization is to significantly bolster their guard spots. Even if Carmelo Anthony is traded, it is likely that the players the Knicks receive will not be enough to fill the dire demand at the Point Guard (PG) and Shooting Guard positions. The first thing to do is to ensure that the Knicks end up having better options next year. They could look to trade Derrick Rose this season to ensure that they end up with a better defensive and passing point guard, and they could also trade Brandon Jennings to find more consistent bench scoring. There seems to be an attitude that Derrick Rose is “untouchable” and should not under any circumstances be traded, but the fact of the matter is that he’s terrible defensively, can’t shoot 3-pointers, is too streaky a shooter to start, and looks to score first rather than pass to a better option. I’m highly skeptical about resigning him this offseason, especially given that he expects a maximum contract even as he’s not even playing at an all-star level. The Knicks need to lose this attitude and look to trade Rose while he’s still playing at a respectable level.

Courtney Lee is the only well-rounded guard the Knicks have, so whether through the trade deadline or in the offseason, the Knicks need to find new guards. I’d look for somebody like Jrue Holiday, currently on the New Orleans Pelicans, to serve as a better defender and facilitator at the PG position. Also, if the Knicks continue to tank, which they should and likely will, they will have a draft pick in the lottery. There are a multitude of outstanding guards in this draft who they have a real shot at getting, including Dennis Smith Jr., Frank Ntilikina, Luke Kennard, Malik Monk, Frank Mason, and De’Aaron Fox. Finding the next Devin Booker or D’Angelo Russell with their pick could bolster the franchise’s odds at becoming a title contender in the future.

The turmoil and continually underwhelming performances of the Knicks this season have already eliminated them from contention for a playoff spot. Making moves on the trade deadline on March 1 is the first step to dismantling this failed experiment of a team and creating a sustainable core of young players for the future. As they advance through the offseason, the Knicks should look to sign young talent and to make smart deals as opposed to the ones they made this season. The Knicks’ rebuild doesn’t have to be one of the same proportion as that of the 76ers; after all, they already have their player of the future, Kristaps Porzingis, and a few really solid pieces who could be a major part of a championship-contending team in the future. Knicks fans, settle in, because this next year could be one of the most difficult but most necessary years our franchise has ever faced.

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

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March Madness Preview

By MATT MACKENZIE, Staff Writer

March Madness is one of the best times of the year. What could beat four straight days of nonstop basketball, followed by even more big games on nights and weekends? Let’s not forget the conference tournaments, which can serve as a nice appetizer over the two weeks leading up to Selection Sunday.

Usually, there are only two valid complaints from college hoops fans at this time of year, the first being that the wildest, most action-packed days of this glorious roundball feast occur on weekdays, and second that the tournament is only one day old and your bracket is already kaput. Unlike the tournament schedule, which we all have to put up with, your bracket can go from busted to brilliant if you pick the right teams. With that in mind, here are a few teams that could make a deep run in March, as well as those who may be headed for an early exit.

Smart Pick: Kentucky Wildcats Kentucky simply has too much talent to overlook. Coach John Calipari is notorious for running an “NBA feeder school,” where top-ranked players leave for the pros after their first season on campus, and this year is no exception. Malik Monk and De’Aaron Fox are both top-10 draft prospects, and the Wildcats may even have two more first-round selections on their roster in Isaiah Briscoe and Bam Adebayo. There is always concern that their youth and immaturity will be a problem on the big stage, but Kentucky should have no problems getting through the early rounds, when they have an advantage at four of five positions on the floor.

and Harry Giles) only increase their chances of a first-round departure.

Smart Pick: West Virginia Mountaineers Several coaches in the Big 12 described the challenge of facing Bob Huggins’ all-out full court press as “like playing five on seven.” No team in their right mind will want to find themselves faceto-face with such all-out havoc and limited time to prepare in a postseason setting. The Mountaineers are the only team to beat both the first- and second-ranked teams this season, and Jevon Carter is a legitimate conference player of the year candidate.

Don’t be surprised to see WVU playing in the Final Four come early April—their defense is in a class of its own.

Risky Pick: UCLA Bruins UCLA will always score points in bunches, but unlike West Virginia, they can’t seem to stop anyone from doing the same thing. The unpredictability of an offensive shootout has largely worked in their favor so far this season, and should continue to do so against the weak Pac-12 Conference. Once they meet a team that can stop them on defense, however, their luck will run out. Coach Steve Alford has never progressed past the second weekend of the tournament, and that streak will likely continue this season.

Risky Pick: Virginia Cavaliers Virginia plays at the slowest pace of any team in the Power Six conferences, using their suffocating pack-line defense to hold opponents under 50 points on a routine basis. There are problems with grinding the game to a halt, however. Their inability to go on quick offensive spurts to expand their lead can allow teams to stay in the game much longer than they should, and can be an even bigger problem when they’re trailing late, despite the poise of all-conference guard London Perrantes in the clutch. Virginia will be vulnerable to the upset this year, especially if they draw a dangerous mid-major that likes to play the run-and-gun style.

Smart Pick: Villanova Wildcats Jay Wright’s team won the national title last season and they’re ready to defend it, returning all but two rotation players from last year’s championship squad. Josh Hart and Jalen Brunson are two of the best players in the Big East, capable of putting up big numbers on any given night. Their championship-caliber defense (currently ranked 16th in points allowed per game) and team play have garnered even more attention. Does anyone remember the last play of the title game, where point guard Ryan Arcidiacono passed up a potential game-winning shot, because his teammate, Kris Jenkins, had a better look? Jenkins buried the three, and here we are 10 months later, watching Villanova defend their title. The Wildcats are battle-tested, free of glaring weaknesses, and a great pick to cut down the nets for a second consecutive year.

Risky Pick: Duke Blue Devils Duke’s season seems fit for a daytime soap opera rather than the college basketball hardwood. First, there were the early season injuries. Then came the Grayson Allen Tripping Saga, and more recently, an incident where Coach Mike Krzyzewski confiscated his team’s practice gear because he felt they weren’t putting in enough effort. This is an upset-prone team that already lost to a bad North Carolina State team at home, and the inconsistencies of their top three offensive options (Jayson Tatum, Luke Kennard,

Of course, the most important thing to remember is to enjoy all the great basketball, and not to worry about your bracket. After this, college basketball goes into a six-month hibernation, so make the most of what you have left. And if you’re looking for a smaller school to make a run, look out for Middle Tennessee State and UNC Wilmington.

Smart Pick: Wisconsin Badgers As I write this, Wisconsin is currently 33–0 under head coach Greg Gard when they have a lead with five minutes to go. They are an experienced team that rarely turns the ball over, they play sound defense, and they shoot exceptionally well from the foul line. That’s never a combination to bet against. The Badgers will go far, and you can count on at least one monster game from center Ethan Happ.

Risky Pick: Gonzaga Bulldogs As of February 8, Mark Few’s Bulldogs were the only undefeated team in Division I basketball, and ranked #1 in both the AP and Coaches polls. However, they’ve been racking up most of these wins against the West Coast Conference, which has only one other team projected in the tournament field. We’ve seen other mid-majors torch the competition all year only to fall flat against stiffer competition—the 2013 Wichita State Shockers come to mind. Przemek Karnowski has been unstoppable in the post, but whether or not he can sustain that against teams from the Big 12 and ACC remains to be seen. Trust Gonzaga at your own risk.

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SPORTS

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

IHS Cross Country/Graduation Coach Rich Bernstein Prepares for a Coaching Experience of a Lifetime

By AUSTIN LAMB

Rich Bernstein, pictured on the far right, at the Manhattan Invitational with the Ithaca Varsity Boys Cross Country (XC) team, will be spending part of his summer as the co-coach of the USA team at the Junior Maccabiah games in Israel.

It’s very exciting; I’ve never been [to Israel] and always wanted to.

AL: What will your job as co-coach involve?

RB: I am the co-coach for the Juniors team—about 25 boys and girls—and responsible for their training and safety. The other coach is an Assistant Coach at Middlebury College.

AL: In your 32 years as head coach of the IHS XC team, is this a new experience for you? You used to coach the IHS Track and Field team, right?

RB: I was the Girls Varsity Coach for 20 years, with only two assistants, so I learned to coach all events and am proficient in most, besides of course mid- and long-distance. I actually had state champions in the high jump (twice) and pentathlon.

Austin Lamb ’18: First off, congratulations.

Rich Bernstein: Thank you.

AL: For those who aren’t familiar with it, what are the Junior Maccabiah Games?

RB: The Maccabiah Games are an Olympic-style competition (meaning all sports that the summer Olympics have) for Jewish athletes from around the world that happens the summer after the Olympic Games. There are more than 34 countries represented and more than 12,000 athletes that will converge in Israel.

There are sports from basketball, tennis, lacrosse, hockey (yes), soccer, track and field for men and women. The open competition is 20 years and older, and juniors (15–19) compete.

AL: Do you know the other coach, or any of the athletes that you will be coaching?

RB: I have been texting and chatting with my co-coach, who is young enough to be my kid! But he sounds great. I do not know any of my athletes but will have weeks to get to know them.

AL: What are you most looking forward to? What do you see as something that you’ll take away from this opportunity?

RB: I am most looking forward to the adventure of seeing and experiencing Israel for myself. It is a complicated land and I want to get my own first-hand information. I have travelled a fair bit, but not this far from home! I hope to bring a little bit of Little Red knowledge to the kids I will coach.

AL: What is the selection process like for this coaching position?

RB: I applied last summer, then had numerous phone interviews in the fall, some during practice! Finally, I received my acceptance in December. Because it’s a not-for-profit experience, I had to raise my own funds, which got covered by wonderful folks through a Gofundme campaign. Tons of former runners and parents donated.

AL: As of right now, what are the logistics of your trip?

RB: I leave the U.S. on about June 27, and we train in the morning, then for two to three weeks tour various parts of Israel—like the Masada, the Dead Sea, and Jerusalem—and also meet Israeli and Palestinian student athletes. The track events are in Jerusalem for two days in July, and I return July 18, just in time for XC Fun Runs!

Coach Bernstein in classic IHS attire.

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

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LITERARY IMAGE BY GENEVA MORELAND

A WORLD OF GREEN AND YELLOW

By Lillian Hwang-Geddes Tall, green trees To the left, trees To the right, trees Are what I see With my nose pressed Against the cool glass of the window The soft sunshine of evening Shining on the chirping birds As the lake water glitters in the distance

IMAGE BY GENEVA MORELAND

Haiku of the Month

CONFUSION

By Lillian Hwang-Geddes I’m hearing my name Many faces turn towards me Mind turns to blankness

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THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

A HOMAGE TO OUR HERO: THROUGH POEMS

Now the thirteenth of November, picture the bare face of young boy While hazel curls bounce on round head, still he loudly screams Oh, death belongs to those irrelevant; must good life lack no joy?

So what more must truth be but godless memes?

This, he laughs, as we fall back in love with letters

By Justin Heitzman and Leland Xu, Staff Writer IMAGE BY GENEVA MORELAND

THE MUSINGS OF THE INTANGIBLE MEME

Now the ghosts of long-gone idols still plague his mind The sight of Zappa at show a mere ten minutes prior; While the painter Ross looks back at pieces long designed And the thirty-seventh Premier is once again accused liar!

This, he laughs, as we fall back in love with letters The bait is well-set; the noose now tight around weak neck As the fat radical welcomes himself early to be dear brother The monsters of the world chant out what now, Lord Shrek?

And the new Premier’s force hunts for more bastards to smother This, he laughs, as we fall back in love with letters Help! The poet Rosen’s head cries lone in lost time When Newell himself to slaves, he snarks for gone cake So now the boy cares no more: none exists such rhyme; For none all that strife is but our man’s last mistake This, he laughs, as we fall back in love with letters

HAIKU Ay, how’s it poppin’?

Ay, Barry Bee, Twitch, Bob Ross Ay, I want to die

I remember when I used to care But now, grey is all I see Photoshopped with the face of a bear And watching Bee Movie I am the saddest meme of them all.

For me, to do anything is to err My answer is clearly “not to be” Why must God make my life so unfair?

He clearly has no love for me I am the saddest meme of them all.

In reality, I’m simply going nowhere There’s no way to escape, no way to flee To call me a good person is plenty fair But I still feel like most would fail to agree I am the saddest meme of them all.

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HOW TO TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER— WITHOUT EVER ACTUALLY SAYING THOSE THREE WORDS.

By Abby Katz, Staff Writer

When she speaks, listen. Nod in assent, but don’t interrupt. Maintain eye contact. Try to see past the surface, but only just slightly. Only as far as she wants to be seen. When conversation lands on a topic that raises her eyebrows quizzically and lights up her whole face, count the glimmers of stardust that dance behind her eyes.

She’ll ask what you’re doing when she sees the attentive look that’s scrunched up your features. Don’t respond with words; just smile, softly and knowingly. Tell her to keep talking.

Answer the phone call that comes after 1 AM. She’ll ask if she woke you. If she did, lie; the sound of her voice gives you more energy than a full night’s sleep would, anyway. Before you hang up, remind her that you’re always here, unequivocally, if she needs to talk. Suggest that she get some sleep. Smile broadly, even though she can’t see it.

Tell her the things about herself that she isn’t tired of hearing. She already knows her brows look good, she already knows that she has great taste in obscure music and classic footwear. But maybe she doesn’t know that when she unintentionally pronounces English words the way that their French cognates are supposed to be pronounced, it’s simultaneously the most beautiful and the most socio-linguistically interesting thing you’ve ever heard. Enlighten her.

Remember her coffee order, her favorite poets. Keep track of her food allergies and her little sister’s most irritating personality traits. Pepper these details into everyday life whenever you can.

Ask her about her favorite band. Make note of her stances on their best songs, their most underrated al-

bums, the exact moment at which they started to sell out. Absorb their entire discography. Flinch at the harsh sounds—it’s an acquired taste. When she asks, say that you appreciate their artistry, but maybe it’s just not for you. She’ll laugh and recommend something a bit easier on the ears. Eagerly tell her you’ll check it out.

Start listening as soon as you get home that evening.

If you hear her in the synthetic shimmers that flood your headphone-clad ears when track 3 begins, let her know.

Memorize verses from Greek tragedies and lines of dialogue from cancelled 90’s television programs. Slip quotations into unrelated conversations, weeks later, when she least expects it. Grin mischievously at her surprised amusement.

When she gets into college, don’t think about how many repetitions of “Wild Horses” could fit into a four-hundred-mile car ride. Congratulate her emphatically, ask her about residence halls and entry-level seminars. Help her pick out posters for her dorm room and listen with rapt attention as she gripes about housing forms. If you absolutely have to tell her that you’ll miss her, only do it once. Any more than that and the ties you’ve formed morph into manacles weighing her down into the past. Tell her not to be a stranger, offer her your guest bedroom if she comes back to visit. Wish her luck, and allow her to fill in the rest.

Feign stability when she leaves. Even if every cell in your body screams in protest, wave goodbye with dry eyes and a smile that’s only slightly wistful. Let her go, unburdened.

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THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

CHRISTMAS EVE

By Luca Greenspun

Snake! He yells And betrayal cuts like a knife, stings like bleach in the eyes of a just-now blind man Anger flares like the wings of a homemade kite, his ears ring and his heart jumps like rocks once skipped in the Rhineland Brushing off the worry of an old maid and a headed-home bar man with one terse “I’m fine man” Thief! He cries And the streetlamps line the lane innumerably, casting light on snow that would otherwise fall without notice Alas! it was he who took my father’s timepiece, indubitably, I will not leave without a fight—surely this man is foolish not to know this Closing in on the braggart and fondling his back pocket, jaw clenched, needing all focus Hark! Bloody man And in the streets lies he, petticoat torn like the lion-ravaged skin of a plain-dwelling zebra Awful way to be, lying down legs open and supine, victim of a savage like his favorite whore Deidre Dozing on into absent thought—here comes the finale of the life of a bottomfeeder Shhh! He thinks And hiding in a dumpster, crouched over French cheese clutching his father’s timepiece Already regretting the weight he’s come under, half-hoping those street-scoping billies might find him Ever the last laugher, this chuckle coming at an unwanted hour proves perhaps most untimely

THE FUTURE

By Chloe Wray

IS IT COOL TO BE FREAKY, OR FREAKY TO BE COOL the question is mysterious, the answer is obscure bio—one’s life, course or way of living, lifetime tech—a combining form borrowed from Greek meaning “art,” “skill,” nology—knowledge to know it is to live it.

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com

LITERARY

THE PROBLEM

By Thea Clarkberg

“Life” is a problem set, a good-sized packet, spiral-bound with time. Question follows question, annoyingly repetitive, each asking, “How shall I live this day?”

So vague, and yet each demanding an answer. Not everyone receives the same packet, though. Some get sheets with the answers in parentheses after the question, which hardly seems fair, but then again, it’s not as fun to solve a problem you already know the answer to.

Some don’t get a reference table, and have to scramble to answer the question with whatever they can find in the recesses of their psyche. The formulas don’t always work, anyway. As soon as the work is finished for one, the sheet is taken away; there’s no time to go back and correct.

It’s unclear if this assignment is graded or not, so some just muddle through and fill in the blanks. Some flock to the smartest, the prettiest, or the most popular in the class and copy her answers, but there is no answer sheet, so the fruits of their deception are rotten in the bud. Someone raises his hand into the silence and asks if there’s retakes, but the teacher is absent, or dead, or never existed.

At the end of it all, when pencils are laid down and people start biting their lips, the class joker raises his hand with a smirk and asks, “What was the purpose of that exercise? It seemed pretty pointless to me.” Some turn and look at the student teacher, who claims that the teacher left instructions. Some wrinkle their brow, wracking their brains in the hopes that it wasn’t all for nothing.

Some just laugh.

The teacher’s pet rolls her eyes. “It’s not your place to ask,” she says. “There must be some point, or the teacher wouldn’t assign it, now would she?” Everyone averts their eyes.

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LITERARY

THE TATTLER • MARCH 2017 • ihstattler.com IMAGE BY GENEVA MORELAND

“This is the year of just, like, realizing stuff.”

—Abraham Lincoln

A HAIKU FOR THE SECURITY CAMERAS

By Kayla Markwardt Shrek is an onion Ogre-representation I love Shrek so much

MARCH

By Sterling Williams-Ceci March falls between the cracks, people pass it by.

February is romantic winter and April is dewdrop spring, but what is March?

A leprechaun’s lament?

Don’t underestimate March.

It is a bridge— we could not go from romantic winter to dewdrop spring without it.

Remember that in March, we march from February to April, and we could not make this march if it weren’t for March.

By Luca Greenspun when winter was both Tomorrow and yesterday But today sun shined

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PENULTIMATE

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BACK PAGE

Horoscopes

By ABE MESSING Aries (Mar. 21–Apr. 19): Take yourself on a date and get to know YOU better. Dinner for one? No, dinner for three: you, yourself, and your dad. Let him come.

Taurus (Apr. 20–May 20): It’s such a shame that youth is wasted on the young. They’re too dumb to know what’s good for em’.

Gemini (May 21–June 20): Lions are proof that leopards can change their spots. It feels better to eat grapes for a day than raisins for life.

Cancer (June 21–July 22): Hope springs eternal, Cancer. Let your insecurities be your securities, and let your vices be your virtues. Get in shape? Guuuuurrrl, circle is a shape, you chillin.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22): Just because your skin gets red when you touch fire doesn’t mean you’re allergic, relax. Patience takes time, and life is too short to live forever. Cherish the wisdom of your elders, and ignore the fallacies of your inferiors.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sep. 22): You know what it’s like to live in a styrofoam world, never to touch or feel without hurting or breaking. It’s high time you break the only thing holding you back, your doubts and uncertainties.

Libra (Sep. 23–Oct. 22): This isn’t about you, me, or anyone else, it’s about us and them, and they don’t know a thing about we! I don’t know about everyone, but I damn well know something about someone.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): Why does poison taste so sweet? Why does revenge seem so refreshing? Why does envy feel so natural? Why does fear smell so pungent? Even Jesus took a bite out of the forbidden fruit...

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): Nothing is actually real. Time is just a metric invented by humans to convince ourselves that life has purpose and meaning. Deadlines are a suggestion and age is just a number, baby.

The COOLNESS SPECTRUM

COOL Morocco

New exoplanets

Gucci Mane is coming

Asghar Farhadi

The Knee Defender

La-Moonlight

Suppression of the press

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): See Libra.

The Long March

Pisces (Feb. 19–Mar. 20): The first person you think of after reading this sentence is the person who will one day bear your eleven children. Lucky numbers are 1 and 5,792,957.

UNCOOL

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18): No, please, walk slower, I have nowhere to be. Oh you need to tie your shoe? I’ll wait...

Whoa dude you have velcro? We get it, you’re rich. Nice.