May 6, 2013 • Estd. 1892 • Vol. 121 • No.8• Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com • Ithaca High School, 1401 N. Cayuga St., Ithaca, NY, 14850 • FREE
By POOJA VERMA
After winning the Buckeye Regional Competition in Cleveland, Ohio this spring, IHS’s Code Red Robotics Team 639 headed to the annual For Inspiration and Recognition in Science and Technology (FIRST) international competition in St. Louis, Missouri. Forty-five Code Red members along with their team advisor and several adult mentors embarked on a fifteen-hour bus ride to reach their destination, the World FIRST Championships, which took place from April 24-27. After being ranked as the second seed
Code Red celebrates after winning the Buckeye Regional.
at the Buckeye Regional in Cleveland, Code Red went on to win the competition and be named Regional Champions and qualifying to go to Championships. The team faced a difficult challenge at Championships; the 400 best FRC teams from around the world appeared at this competition. The team faced a difficult set of matches, and, coupled with some mechanical difficulties, placed 86th in their division. The World Championship event is made up of hundreds of FIRST Robotics teams from around the globe, as well as several FIRST Tech Challenge teams and
PHOTO/\ELIZABETH EDDLESTONE
Code Red Fiercely Competes at World Championships, Places Within Top 100 Teams
FIRST Lego League teams. This year the game, called Ultimate Ascent, revolved around Frisbees. In Ultimate Ascent, teams must develop a robot that can successfully shoot Frisbees into targets of three different heights. The higher the target, the more points the team is awarded. The team can also gain points by having the robot climb up the frame of a square pyramid, with rungs at 30, 60, and 90 inches off the ground. Each rung climbed gains the team an additional 10 points. The match goes on for two minutes and fifteen seconds, and in the last 30 seconds, human players can attempt to throw continued on p. 9
May 6, 2013
Editorial:
Prom Drama?
As senior prom comes around the corner, the unavoidable and inevitable arguments and complaints have arisen, stirring an unneeded debate about where, when, and who that has put stress on the organizers of the event. Calm down, stop complaining, and go with it. This year’s Senior Prom will be held at the Ithaca Farmer’s Market, a decision made by the senior class officers. Knowing how Ithacan weather works, this may be a risky decision. This town is not known for its beautiful and cooperative weather, and it’s not likely many people will be happy following the Ithaca Festival’s lead in making the event themed around “Singing in the Rain.” An open pavillion could either be the best place for senior prom or the worst, depending on whether or not the weather is a factor. Knock on wood, seniors. One of the more heated debates surrounds the date of the prom. Having such a large event in the middle of the two AP testing weeks alarmed some students, while others stayed optimistic. According to a class officer, the date is the only one that allows the prom to be at a location that will fit more than 150 people, which is definitely an important factor. There are also sporting events and school trips that conflict with other dates, so even considering APs, it is the best option. Those who are opposed to the final date are no longer raising other suggestions but simply adding unnecessary complaints to the subject of prom. Last but not least, there is the issue of having a DJ. The musical interests of IHS students vary widely, making both a DJ and a live band equally controversial. The concerns surrounding having a DJ mostly have to do with the type of dancing that go with the music. This is a school, not a meat grinder. It’s nice to know that this year’s senior prom will be kept classy with live music by The Gunpoets, a local band. For all of you prom-goers out there, the only thing to do at this point is to The Tattler is the student-run buy your last-minute dresses and tuxes, newspaper of Ithaca High School. The Tattler was founded in 1892, and keep a positive attitude. Complaints and is published monthly. at this point are irrelevant since the details for prom are final, and only have As an open forum, The the effect of placing stress on those who Tattler invites submissions of have worked hard to put together the opinion pieces and letters to best prom possible. So leave the drama the editor from all members at home, and just have fun! of the community. Drop off submissions in H134, e-mail them to editor@ihstattler.com.
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May 6, 2013
Opinion:
The Right to Bare Arms By CHUNMEI MCKERNAN
PHOTO/\PROVIDED
there are no dress code guidelines for the men. The student dress code policy for ICSD, as stated in the IHS Code of Conduct, is as Have you ever been told to pull up your shirt, put on more follows: clothes, or “stop sending out the wrong message”, even jokingly? “All students ... are expected to exemplify appropriate dress School hallways, social networking sites, school dances, and the and appearance in a manner that projects an appropriate image media are all obsessed with the way women dress. “Modesty” is for the student, their family, school, and district. Dress and attire the idea that there’s one proper level of coverage for everyone. If influence how students conduct themselves...” Translation: a stusomebody chooses to not maintain this standard of dress, she is dent’s clothing choices definitely influence the manner in which labeled as “slutty.” When she is disrespected, people consider it to their peers conduct themselves, and this is the responsibility of be understandable or even just punishment. the student wearing clothing deemed inappropriate. The Modesty Movement “Through its dress and is overt misogynism with a grooming standards, the bit of fluff added to hide or school district intends to soften its true message. It’s a promote community stanspoonful of artificial sugar dards of decency, cleanliused to make the BS mediness, etiquette, decorum cine go down. Modesty has and good citizenship as part been used as a reason to of its educational mission.” shame women, their bodies, Wearing certain clothes and their lifestyles for milmay also apparently imlennia. The modesty movepede a person’s ability to be ment asserts that womens’ a good citizen. clothing choices rather than A few examples of dress their character should decode rules aimed at women termine how other people include banning articles of treat them. If you don’t clothing that “are extremely cover yourself up enough, brief or otherwise revealyou don’t deserve to be reing such as tube tops, halter spected. In fact, you don’t tops, spaghetti straps (no even respect yourself. Modthinner than two fingers), esty is based on the idea that and plunging necklines sexuality is inappropriate (front and/or back); the botand shouldn’t be publically toms are short enough that expressed. Avoiding this the student’s fingers extend is entirely the responsibilbelow the hem when hands ity of women; if men see a are held at the student’s side.” woman as a sexual object, The ICSD’s student dress it’s her fault and she could code policy fails to give reahave prevented it by wearsons as to why revealing ing different clothes. ObviWhat’s the big deal about skin? clothing is inappropriate. ously, the concept of females Sometimes I wonder if school as autonomous beings worthy of respect, rather than as physical authorities have ever pondered, “Maybe her legs are exposed beobjects upon which to gaze, does not come into play with this cause it’s a humid, 90-degree day and she has to spend a period antiquated mode of thinking. in upstairs G. Maybe she wore shorts to help maintain her body’s Does anybody remember those “informative” posters that dynamic equilibrium, rather than to provoke other students into displayed appropriate versus inappropriate attire for last year’s treating her with disrespect and causing them to conduct themproms? This year’s Junior Prom clothing guidelines are just as selves in disruptive ways and/or become bad citizens.” To be fair, ridiculous. “Backless dresses are not acceptable ... limited cleav- men also have a dress code and are expected to refrain from wearage ... two inches above the knee is the shortest.” Backs are ob- ing “sagging pants” to school, but let’s be honest. When was the viously very sexual and inappropriate, and a lot of prom dresses last time a guy was mocked for wearing saggy pants? don’t come with them. It’s also apparently unacceptable to have Stuyvesant High School, one of New York City’s top public breasts, unless the cleavage is “limited”. And, as one could guess, high schools, recently imposed a new dress code. The New York continued on p. 4
May 6, 2013
THE RIGHT TO BARE ARMS continued from p. 3
Post reports that about 100 students decided to protest the code, which bans girls from exposing their shoulders, midriffs, lower backs, bras and underwear, by having a “Slutty Wednesday,” during which they intentionally broke the conservative dress standards. Freshman Lucy Greider said, “School is about learning. Clothing is not important ... A lot of the classrooms don’t have A/C’s and when it is 80 degrees outside and it is really hot, it’s perfectly OK to show a little skin.” The assumption that men are unable to control their sexual desires is insulting at best. Part of being an adult is learning how to move through a diverse world filled with distractions. Perhaps a young woman in a short skirt and a tube top might be “distracting” to a straight 17-year-old male, but that straight male is going to have to learn how to remain respectful as he moves through a world in which women will wear clothing in public that he finds attractive or arousing. Dress codes strongly imply that women should be held responsible for mens’ responses and that men cannot control themselves. “If people ... think that appearing in what can be construed as sexually provocative ways is important, then they should confront the reasons why girls perceive these things to be true by the time they are ten or eleven,” The Huffington Post’s Soraya Chemaly stated. “The clothes that our culture makes available and fashionable for girls — the ones tied to being attractive, to glamour, success, money and public female power and glory — are the same ones that make it possible for most girls and women to access power and resources vicariously in male-dominated culture. THAT is what schools should be concerned with. Blaming girls for making rational choices about what society rewards them for is useless and hypocritical.” It is interesting to contrast the school dress code with laws imposed by other cultures for womenswear. Various fundamentalist groups believe that if a woman will be in the presence of any man outside of her immediate family, she must cover her entire body, including hair and hands, with loosely fitting clothes. They believe that a woman’s hair and other body parts provoke males and that keeping women’s bodies covered will help prevent assault, and rape. Women who violate this dress code may be subject to beatings, and even death. Marjane Satrapi’s autobiographical graphic novel Persepolis is one of the most beloved books in IHS’s English curriculum. The black and white novel illustrates various parts of a young girl’s life growing up during the Islamic Revolution in Iran. In section 17, Satrapi is a rebellious teenager, and is stopped on the streets by members of a woman’s branch of the Guardians of the Revolution. The women shame her for her improperly worn head scarf, too-tight jeans, denim jacket, and “punk” jewelry. The women threaten to bring her in front of their HQ committee, where she knows she will be physically punished or detained. Nadia Shoeb wore a hijab for many years and commented on its removal after moving to the United States. “That feeling is like I am going out without a shirt on, that sense of feeling exposed,” she said. “I had really long hair, and I actually tucked it into my sweater, because I was feeling so embarrassed that, ‘I’m showing my hair. Am I being immodest some-
how?’ ...So that first day was quite difficult, just taking it off, even though I looked like every girl on the street.” If you think these dress codes are strange or unfair, ask yourself why. The concept of covering the female body is the same, whether it be keeping the whole body and face covered, or keeping the shoulders covered with strips of cloth no thinner than the width of two fingers. The modesty movement is based entirely on slut-shaming. Slut-shaming is the idea of shaming and/or attacking a woman or a girl for being sexual, having one or more sexual partners, acknowledging sexual feelings, and/or acting on sexual feelings. It is damaging not only to the girls and women targeted, but to women in general and society as a whole.” Put in the most simple terms, slut-shaming happens when a person (of any gender) degrades a woman due to her perceived sexual behavior. It is enabled by the idea that women who carry the stigma of being overly sexually active are “dirty” and therefore do not deserve to be respected. Women are not merely the targets of slut-shaming; they are often the perpetrators. Slut bashing can easily give the upper hand to the shamer. If a woman feels threatened, she can label the intimidation as a “slut” and is therefore seen as superior, at the top of the social pecking order. Calling someone a slut may seem like a harmless joke. Slutshaming may even appear to be useful as a twisted kind of cautionary tale — using “bad” girls as examples to help prevent “good” girls from making sexual “mistakes”, or even being sexually assaulted and/or raped. But, in fact, the very opposite is true: victims of slut-bashing may believe that they deserve to be disrespected. The connotations of being slutty can make women prime targets of sexual harassment. The label slut may also make women question whether or not they are entitled to say “no.” Slut-bashing is a form of sexual harassment, and it is illegal under Title IX, which entitles students to a harassment-free education. Too often, slut-shaming is dismissed as part of the normal cruel adolescent social scene. According to an issue of The Tattler published in 2001, Emma H-B ’04 said, “Sexual harassment is a problem here. I think that people are so used to it that they let it go. A lot of derogatory comments are shouted in the halls, and stuff like that. Teachers know it’s going on but don’t do anything about it, so it will probably just keep happening.” Adding another foot of fabric to my skirt will not make me more human. Putting on a sweater doesn’t earn me respect. I should be able to walk around town without worrying about being harassed or assaulted. What I wear and why is my business, and mine alone. The most important thing that we should work on is to stop calling or thinking of women as “sluts.” Similar to the use of the words “retarded” and “gay” as pejoratives, at one time or another, many of us have labeled a woman as a “slut” or a “whore.” Many of us recognize that this stigma is unjust and unwarranted, yet due to constant social conditioning, we’ve used the “slut” insult anyway. We must actively try to make ourselves aware of the sexual double standard and its negative effects. Speak out when you hear somebody use a gendered slur against someone else. This goes for both men and women.
May 6, 2013
You May Not “Like” This By ELIE KIRSCHNER
believe that their own lives are, on principle, more interesting and worth hearing about than others. Social networking would hardly exist if people didn’t feel that they have the right to communicate with the world, and for some reason believe that the world is inclined to listen. Worst of all, though, is the harm social networking brings to society. First off, the competition, the worst part of the unending competition for attention that occurs on Facebook and Twitter is that it is impersonal. Normally competition drives us to be more social, to be better, to be smarter or to be stronger. If not taken to excess, competition is vital for us to progress as a society. Online competition is different; it’s cold and isolated, it leads people to become more anti-social as they become increasingly fixated on what they posted, or what someone else tweeted, and they gradually tune out of real life in favor of virtual insecurities. Social networks like Facebook, because of their self-indulgent nature, are also incredibly addictive, so this degradation into egotistical isolation far too easily comes to pass. Lastly, social networking depletes individuality in favor of conformity, and sets a stage for even more volatile forms of cyber bullying. Overall, you, as an avid Facebook or other social network user, should realize at least three things: you don’t need social networking, not any more than I need a videogame; social networking is an open invitation to think far too much of yourself; and moreover, the phenomenon of social networking has, ironically, most likely made you or those around you more anti-social and isolated. So, start having private, personal conversations again, and stop using the Internet like a megaphone. PHOTO/\PROVIDED
Chances are that those of you reading this article have a Facebook or a Twitter account and maybe some other social networking profile. You are part of the reason why Mark Zuckerberg, creator of Facebook, and Jack Dorsey the (distinctly less famous) creator of Twitter, could possibly be diving into swimming pools full of money right now. That’s nice for them, but I think we should think about the reason for all of their success. Their respective websites, Facebook and Twitter, have soared in popularity over the past five years primarily as a result of one thing: societal narcissism. Even more importantly, social networking sites are (especially in our age group) psychologically unhealthy. As our obsession with broadcasting our everyday lives for our own benefit increases, we spend less time having those, you know, face-to-face conversations and more time isolating ourselves. Social networking’s extremely limited benefits are far outweighed by the fact that it is completely unnecessary, irritatingly selfcentered, and ultimately detrimental to society. There is no conceivable reason that any of us would need a Facebook or Twitter account. Those who I’ve heard try to make a case for themselves, who claim they need an account and do not use social networking in a self-adoring fashion, (which is fairly impossible, as I will get to later), say things like, “I need my account to see what other people are up to.” Now, I am making no claims that Facebook and Twitter are not brilliant machines for two things: stalking and advertising. But I also believe that when people obsess over the fashion, image, and behavior of others on social networking sites, they are looking for ways
to conform and fit in. No matter how you look at it, the existence of Facebook and other social networking sites is a direct result of self-absorption. People do use Facebook to keep in touch with friends. This makes a little sense, and there is no problem with using social networking for this purpose, but it remains unnecessary and unclear why they would prefer to broadcast their communications rather than use a phone, video chat, or email.
This is what I think of your great taco.
As I previously mentioned, those who indulge in social networking are really indulging in their own narcissism. For example, imagine you just ate a really great taco, went shopping, or worked out. The way social networking functions, you’re going to opt to post these fairly uninteresting activities because you believe not only that you and your day-to-day activities are interesting to other people, but what you are interested in is interesting to people as well. No one goes on Facebook or Twitter to see who has been eating great tacos, or shopping, or working out; people go on social networking sites to talk about their own everyday lives. Our generation seems to
May 6, 2013
Junior Class Reduces Ticket Prices and Expenses For Prom PHOTO/\MICHAELA BREW
Junior girls having a great time.
By JUNIOR CLASS OFFICERS
It’s that time of year again: prom season. Guys and gals have that extra spring in their step, because on April 27 the Class of 2014 kicked off IHS’s prom season. The Junior Class government had been planning this event since October and called on helping hands from the class. This year’s Junior Prom was different from other years’ proms for three reasons. First of all, it was located in the IHS Gym (as voted by the Junior Class during the IHS Crafts Fair). Secondly, prices were reduced in comparison to prior years. Thirdly, the music selection was significantly different. “As a group we thought that it was in the class’ best interest to vote on the prom location, because after all, our group is designed to serve the interests of the people,” said Kupono Liu ’14, Junior class president. “My group and I are ecstatic to have the prom in the gym because we have so many creative decorating ideas and we have such an open space to decorate; my group is never afraid to face a chal-
lenge, even if it is covering up bleachers!” Liu then went on to add that this venue has allowed the class to reduce ticket prices to $12. Another key change that the Prom Committee noted was that the music choice this year was a DJ instead of a local band. Last year, the Class of 2013 arranged for a cover band to perform in the Biotechnology Building at Cornell University. According to the other three officers, Rubin DanbergBiggs ’14, Oseoba Airewele ’14, and John Whitehead ’14, the DJ was a privilege and extra precautions were made to ensure that proper behavior and etiquette ensued. The Junior Class government posted a promotional video on Facebook and the IHS page on the ICSD website. The video gave prom information and demonstrated proper dress and behavior. With regards to finer details, this prom was a semi-formal event: there was a standard ticket-purchasing procedure and doors opened at eight o’clock sharp. Liu also added that there were desserts which included cannolis, cheesecake, and fondue. President Liu added, “There were a lot of twinkling lights and balloons, and I mean a lot!”
May 6, 2013
Blindspots’ Singer Maddie Walsh on Being A Female In the Music Industry PHOTO/\PROVIDED
By JANINA GUNDERSON
Maddie Walsh jamming out.
Presenting her idea of third-wave (modern) feminism and the experiences she’s had as a woman in a rockand-roll band to approximately 50 students, Maddy Walsh led a panel set up by Strong Women Impacting Society (SWIS) club in the black box theater at IHS on Monday, March 18.
Walsh grew up loving music with a very musical family nurturing her passion. The first band she participated in was one formed with her dad, playing “folk-y” music – a bit different from her current style. She continued with this band through college at SUNY Binghamton. After college she and a friend, Mike Suave, formed her current band, the Blindspots, a rock band.
Walsh brought to the panel an email written to her by a fan, complaining that her dancers in a music video had been too scantily clad and offensive. Walsh refuted these claims by talking about her views on feminism. She stated that she was a supporter of third-wave feminism, saying that she believes a woman’s body is hers to do with what she likes, and that women, in her opinion, can chose to do whatever they want if it makes them happy. On the topic of degrading music, she said, “I personally don’t listen to that kind of music, but I definitely don’t condemn it.” As a woman fronting a rock band, Walsh has been confronted with unique issues throughout her career. People tend to compare her to female singers and, according to Walsh, they do this mainly because they are of the same sex. She has been compared to people like Janis Joplin, though in her opinion she sounds nothing like her and plays a completely different kind of music. Walsh thinks it would make more sense for people to compare her to some of the great rockers of the time because that is the type of music that she plays. However, those rockers are almost exclusively male, which in her opinion turns people off from drawing a comparison. Walsh is also the main booker for the band, finding gigs all over New York, the United States, and even Europe. Walsh notes that it is sometimes challenging to book appearances, because when people see that the band is fronted by a woman, they assume that the music they play is light or more mellow rock. “I sometimes sign a different name so they will take [the band] a different way,” she said. When asked about how she stays positive while having to deal with these issues, she replied, “It comes back to the fact that I love this profession.”
May 6, 2013
Board of Education, Community Discuss Private School Students in District Athletics By ARYEH ZAX
The ICSD Board of Education (BoE) held its bimonthly meetings on April 9 and 23. The April 9 meeting was largely devoted to voting on motions before the board. These included the Recommendation for Student Placements from the Committee on Special Education, the tentative calendar for the 2013-14 school year, and next year’s district budget. Discussion followed a presentation by Superintendent Luvelle Brown on increased state aid and possible areas that could receive funding, though no motions were passed. The April 23 meeting was significantly livelier. LACS student representative Bernard Anderson said that beloved principal Joe Greenberg would not be returning to LACS next year, but would be moving out of state. “He’s moving to Greensville, South Carolina, to be closer to family and into a pretty nice position to continue to lead an alternative school,” said Brown during his Superintendent’s Report. “It’s been a good partnership and collaboration, he and I. So I’m sad to see him go, but I’m wishing him well.” IHS student representative Michaela Brew ’14 discussed Junior Prom tickets, which were significantly cheaper this year due, in part, to the junior class’s decision to hold prom in the IHS gym. The annual Ithaca Relays were held on April 26 at the IHS track. Noah Frostclapp ’14 added that AP classes gave their finals, traditionally old AP exams, the week of April 22, though AP exams themselves did not start until recently. Mike Hall ’13 added that the Mock Trial team won their first competition and would advance to the county-level competition. Responding to the April 9 discussion
of policy 1740, “Relationship with Nonpublic Schools,” several community members came to the Board to share their feelings on the subject of allowing private school students to participate in district porgrams, such as sports. These included comments from elementary- and middle school-aged children who spoke a sentence or two about their feelings, from their parents, and from former BoE member Allen Lambert. “The injustice that our Board did was to exclude too many children that lived in the district,” said Lambert. “We have issues of segregation, discrimination, fairness, and equity. All parents who live in this school district pay taxes. Some of those children may be homeschooled, some may go to Montessori, and they don’t all have the same opportunity to participate. I think that it’s fiscally unfair, but if you think about the social segregation of children … who sometimes get excluded from participating with some of their friends … I think that the Board should put, as first priority, what is best for the children in the district. The public school is for all children in that district.” Advocates of allowing private school students to participate argued that those students’ parents paid school taxes just like everyone else, and that this entitles them to participate in district sports. The major opposition to allowing private school students countered that all children are entitled to enroll in public schools, not to use their afterschool programs, and that private school participants would take already-scarce playing time away from public school students. “We all joined the Board because we care about kids,” said Vice President of the Board Seth Peacock. “Usually when this came up I had a hard time not wanting the kids to enjoy what we have.” The relevant clause of policy 1740 is as
CODE RED ROBOTICS PREPARES FOR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS
Frisbees from across the field into the targets for extra points. Teams compete in randomly picked alliances of three in a series of qualifying matches, during which teams are ranked based on matches won and number of points scored. The top eight teams then choose two other teams to join them in an alliance and compete together tournament style in the Elimination matches. Despite the robot’s less-than-satisfactory performance, how-
follows: “Nonpublic school students are not permitted to participate in the district’s interscholastic high school athletic programs, in accordance with Commissioner’s Regulations. In addition, nonpublic school students will not be permitted to participate in modified sports or extracurricular activities.” An amended version of the policy, proposed by Peacock, reads, “As required under New York State public high school association handbook, the Board of Education reserves the right to merge with other member schools for participation in specific interscholastic modified sports.” The revised version passed unanimously. The Board would decide, on a sport-bysport basis, to merge with other schools and allow their students to participate with district sport teams. These mergers would have to be approved by the Southern Tier Athletic Conference, a process which could take six to eight weeks. The decision does not apply to other high schools, charter schools, or home schooled students and would primarily affect students at the Elizabeth Ann Clune Montessori School. Only a handful of students at the school each year are interested in participating in district sports. “I’ve watched those children be part of a community spirit,” said Montessori parent Dawn Grover, whose son and daughter both play sports. “I see that it becomes a bit divisive at that point, where children are not able to participate in sports.” The Board also considered several other, less controversial policies. These included Policy 1400, addressing the process by which community members can voice their opinions to the BoE; Policy 1900, a state-mandated policy outlining parental involvement in student’s academics; and Policy 5140, on the age cutoff for incoming kindergarteners.
continued from p. 1
ever, Code Red Robotics members had a wonderful time at Championships. “You can’t go to St. Louis without being inspired,” said Joon Park ’13, a senior and four-year member on the team. To learn more about Code Red Robotics, please visit www. team639.org, or email ikrywe@icsd.k12.ny.us. To learn more about FIRST, please visit usfirst.org.
PHOTO/\PROVIDED
Social Justice Week
The symbol of one of many broken treaties;
Fracking Recap
Two Row Wampum
By DEANNA DEYHIM
By SARAH ROBERTS
As part of several panel discussions, community speakers came to IHS last month to discuss the dangers of fracking during Social Justice Week. Approximately 50 students were seated in the school’s York Lecture Hall to listen to the discussion during 2nd period. Speakers Candace Mingins, Ryan Colbert, Reed Streberger, and Dominique Frongillo shared how fracking has personally impacted their lives, along with measures each of them are taking to move society away from fracking. When the discussion was opened to questions from audience members, the speakers were asked whether or not they would be open to exploring ways of extracting oil without all of the harmful effects. Mingins replied, “We should just focus on renewable energy.” Streberger added, “It’s time to move past fossil fuels.” Frongillo, a member of the Caroline Town Council, remarked that Caroline has banned fracking, and he is now focusing on affirming that Governor Cuomo will continue to prohibit fracking until it is proven safe for all New Yorkers. “They definitely had a clearly biased standpoint,” said audience member Nathan Szpiro after the discussion – all four panelists were clearly anti-fracking. Other students also expressed that a wider variety of viewpoints could have been represented at the panel. For more information on fracking, visit shaleshocks. org or wearepowershift.org. For more information on Social Justice Week, visit ihsstudentactivities.edublogs. org.
During Social Justice Week on Wednesday, March 20, Frieda Jacques from the Onondaga Nation asked that the 400 year old Two Row Wampum treaty be restored and honored. Jacques spoke to an IHS audience of 65 students and faculty in York Lecture Hall. The audience was nonresponsive. At the end of the presentation, it took some time for three people to ask questions. There were pamphlets and articles displayed to add more background information on the Haudenosaunee Confederacy and The Two Row Wampum Belt treaty. The Two Row Wampum was a treaty created by the Haudenosaunee Confederacy, including the Mohawk, Onondaga, Cayuga, and others, with the first settlers of upstate New York to establish a cooperative relationship. Over time the US has abandoned the treaty by imposing unjust laws and restrictions, and illegally taking possession of Haudenosaunee territory. “We are all here to share the story of peace,” said Jacques. She described the story of her tribe’s origin and the creation of the Two Wampum Belt treaty. The Haudenosaunee recorded the treaty in a handmade belt with a series of quahog clam shell beads in purple and white. The two parallel strips of purple represent the Haudenosaunee in one row and the Europeans in another. They were never to cross, signifying no interference with one another. The three white stripes characterize the ideals of peace, friendship, and forever. With the 400th anniversary of the Two Row Wampum, the Haudenosaunee are fighting now to restore the treaty by petitioning the federal government and spreading awareness of the treaty to the public of New York, including schools. The student-operated Social Justice Week at IHS led the school community to discuss social justice topics, one being the campaign to restore the Two Row Wampum Treaty.
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May 6, 2013
Five (Cocobanana Carrot) Cupcakes for a 5 On Your AP By RACHEL SALLY Baking Columnist
It’s AP month. We all know it. We all dread it. This is a month where, more likely than not, you’re getting yourself all worked up and frothy at the mouth because of stress. (Freshmen and sophomores who are scoffing right now, come talk to me in two years and we’ll see who’s laughing then...) To study and perform your best, you definitely need cupcakes. More specifically, these cupcakes. They’re made with coconut oil, whose fatty acids metabolize quickly and give you long-lasting energy, banana for potassium, and walnuts, which are top-notch brain food. Walnuts are high in omega-3 fatty acids, which help with cognition, memory, and problem solving. 1/4 cup of walnuts provides you with 94 percent of your daily recommended intake of omega-3 fatty acids. Holla! Too busy studying to bake? Get your priorities straight. I’m only half kidding. But actually, these are a 1-bowl type deal and are so simple your little siblings could make them. And/or your mama. Skip the frosting, and these cupcakes fall even closer to health food... But what’s the fun in that? Cocobanana Carrot Cupcakes Makes 24 mini cupcakes + 8 regular, or 18 regular cupcakes
PHOTO/\RACHEL SALLY
Ingredients: 2/3 cup raw sugar (sub brown sugar) 1 banana, mashed 2/3 cup coconut oil, melted then measured (you can sub canola) 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 eggs 1 1/3 cup flour 1 teaspoon baking soda Pinch each cinnamon and salt 1/2 pound carrots, shredded (on a cheese grater or using a food processor) 1/2 cup chopped walnuts 6 tablespoons butter, softened 4 ounces cream cheese, softened 2 1/3 cups confectioners’ sugar Pinch salt Splash vanilla extract Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and line your cupcake tins with liners. Stir the sugar, banana, oil, eggs, and vanilla together in a large bowl. Dump all of the flour over top and sprinkle the baking soda, cinnamon, and salt over the flour. Stir until just coming together, then add the carrots and walnuts and stir until thoroughly combined. Evenly portion into cupcake liners, and bake for 11-12 minutes for minis, 15-16 for regular size. For the frosting, beat everything together until smooth. Pipe or spread onto cupcakes as desired. Eat 5 prior to every AP. Good luck!
Yum!
“How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” in Review By SIENA SCHICKEL
As the curtains opened, a seemingly simple set was revealed. A backdrop of a honeycomb pattern provided both a ’60’s business-like atmosphere as well as a reflective surface for the array of different colored lights that set the mood throughout the musical. The set design in general was very well-done, especially the regal-looking elevator, which was used in multiple scenes. There’s always a certain risk factor involved when the opening scene involves the main actor suspended in the air by a not-so-sturdy looking perch. Individually, the singers in the highschool production did an excellent job, not missing a beat when the catchy tunes were paired with the choreography. St. John Faulkner ’13 played a perky but resentful Bud Frump, using Some of IHS’s great talent trying and succeeding, on stage. the choreography to portray a character brought that satirical voice through who definitely stands out in a crowd, loud and clear. adding comic relief as well as an imThe pit orchestra, conducted by Ms. pressive amount of energy. Diana Geiger and played by IHS students Overall, this was a well-done highfrom both the band and orchestra, did a school musical production, with a talfantastic job providing the backbone of ented cast and pit orchestra. Though the production. The quality of the mu- there may be debate about the controsicianship brought about the first hint versial jokes and themes, there is no at the level of professionality that comes denying the high level of musicianship from one of the top high schools in the that they have reached. Kudos to all of area for musical education. them. PHOTO/\KEARA BYRON
The auditorium on the second night of IHS’s rendition of “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, “directed by Mr. Robert Winans and Ms. Lauren McKown, was filled with eager audience members. As the pit orchestra began to play, the space quieted down, and the musical began. “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” is a musical based off of a book written in 1952 by Shepherd Mead. It was adapted for the stage in the early 1960’s by Frank Loesser, who composed the music and wrote the lyrics, as well as Abe Burrows, Jack Weinstock, and Willie Gilbert, who wrote the book. It tells the satirical tale of J. Pierrepont Finch, who rises to the top of the World Wide Wicket Company by following the advice of a little book called How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. Though the musical was hailed as “modern” and “witty” by earlier critics, there are more recent criticisms of the themes because of the nature of the satire and the age of the musical itself. In an article from The Los Angeles Times, Charles McNulty reviewed the Broadway production starring Dan-
iel Radcliffe, writing, “Admittedly, it’s not easy to turn back the clock on this 1961 musical, which is hampered by a dated book...” Though the humor could be characterized as offensive by certain groups, it all depends on how much emphasis is put on the fact that this musical is a satire, not a serious tale, and the IHS students in this local production
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May 6, 2013
Wacky Instrument: The Melodica By KATHERINE PECK
At first glance, it appears to be a miniature piano. However, examine it more closely, and you realize that it bears more resemblance to a harmonica or an accordion. The melodica, also called the melodion, pianica, or blow-organ, is a woodwind instrument. In order to operate it, the musician blows into a valve or air tube located on the side of the instrument. The musician then presses a key, opening a hole and producing a note. The tone produced by the instrument is like a rich-sounding harmonica or a slightly nasal accordion. Unlike similar instruments, the melodica is fairly simple to use. There is no specialized fingering - anyone who can play the piano can also play the melodica. The volume of the instrument is controlled by the amount of breath put into the instrument by the musician. The harder the musician blows, the louder the note. Similarly, higher notes require the musician to force more air into the instrument, while lower notes require less. The instrument can be played vertically or horizontally. When played vertically, a valve is inserted and the instrument is held up to the lips with one hand, while the other presses the keys. When played horizontally, a tube is inserted and the instrument lies flat on a table or other surface. This method allows the musician to play with both hands. The melodica as we know it today was invented in the 1950’s by the musical instrument company Hohner but permutations of the instrument have been around since the 1800’s. Some of the earliest melodicas, produced in Italy, were known as symphoniums or accordinas. Although the melodica is not a very widely-used instrument, several groups have featured the instrument in their songs including the Red Hot Chili Peppers, R.E.M, Oasis, and the Decemberists.
Review: The Place Beyond the Pines By KHALID VREDE
Director Derek Cianfrance, known for works such as Blue Valentine, brings to light the harsh realities of life in his newest film, The Place Beyond the Pines. The story, set in Schenectady, NY, begins with protagonist Luke (Ryan Gosling), a stunt biker who has recently been told by his former lover Romina (Eva Mendes) that he has a son. Luke is distraught for a short period of time, as is to be expected. He soon becomes determined to make the life of his son different from his, mainly because he wants to be present, he wants to provide for his child, and he wants Romina back. Unfortunately she’s found someone else more stable than him, and his job — doing motorcycle stunts at local carnivals — requires him to travel frequently. Luke takes steps to change his situation. He quits his stunt job in order to stay in town and he takes up a new position working for local mechanic Robin (Ben Mendelsohn). Soon, Luke arrives at the conclusion that money will solve most of his woes. With the help of Robin, he turns to robbing banks in order to get the funds he so desperately needs. Luke spirals into a life of crime quickly halted by police officer Avery Cross (Bradley Cooper), who also happens to have a son of the same age. The movie shifts into Cross’s story and his battles with corruption within his local police force, battles that keep his life intertwined with Luke’s. Later, the film makes a final shift fifteen years into the future, when Avery’s and Luke’s sons meet and begin a toxic friendship further exploring the dynamics of the lives their fathers led. The Place Beyond the Pines is rare in that it manages to be bone-crushingly sober as well as quite romantic at the same time. The cinematography, provided by Sean Bobbitt, is luminous. Crime dramas seldom showcase natural beauty as such an essential part of the story, but it seemed to work in this case. Images of Luke riding down a desolate highway or through the dense forest to a chilling score just solidifies his position as a true rebel; he’s an arrow whizzing through the air until something gets in his way. Gosling pulled off Luke quite well. Much like Gosling’s character in Drive, Luke is reserved and serious. His tattoos and constant smoking allude to a weathered existence. Eva Mendes is excellent and frankly a bit overlooked in the film. While watching, viewers can almost feel the intense longing for love and stability in her, as well as sadness in anticipation of her impending hardships. When the movie finally shifts into officer Cross’s story the audience is provided with a new perspective. Despite Cross’s label of hero by characters in the film, judging by the deep rooted corruption and cruelty of his fellow officers it is evident whom the filmmakers intended the real hero to be. Nonetheless, Cross is forced to confront his own demons in the end while his son and Luke’s son (Emory Cohen Dane and Dane DeHaan, respectively) evoke even more ruin and tumble into a messy situation. The film received a fresh rating of 81 percent from Rotten Tomatoes as well as critical acclaim and mainly positive reviews. One of the main criticisms of the movie was that the goal or message wasn’t very clear. It was also mentioned that it was drawn out a bit too long. In my opinion, the lack of a clear message was a testament to evolved filmmaking skills. In most cases, a film with a clear goal and ending is ideal. In this case though, the film seemed to reflect real life more than other films; there were more significant events in the characters’ lives as opposed to defining moments, and it was left up to the viewer to decide how they affected the people within the film. The ending was a cliffhanger and left some unanswered questions. Though it’s unlikely for an Indie, a sequel would be quite welcome just to tie up loose ends. The length was a bit much, but watching it in the evening without a million other things to do should make this less of an issue. I recommend this film to anyone who appreciates a more grounded film; just be prepared for some sadness afterward.
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May 6, 2013
Orchestra Spring Concert Preview By JENSEN LO
The Orchestra Spring concert will be the culmination of a year’s teaching by Samantha Hecht, the recently appointed IHS Orchestra Director. Ms. Hecht started her experience with the IHS orchestra as a student teacher from Ithaca College, replacing Mr. Myers as Orchestra Director this year. Since then, she’s maintained Mr. Myers’ traditions, pulling off a successful cabaret night and starting her own traditions,
like Fiddle club and several chamber groups. The musical selections for the upcoming spring concert span over sixty-five million years, from “Jurassic Park” (which is a misleading name, since the dinosaurs incorporated were actually from the Cretaceous period) to “Overture to the Wind,” written by a composer who is still alive. Famous pieces like the overture from Nabucco by Verdi and Suk’s “Serenade” round out the program. The Nabucco over-
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ture takes the listener through a whirlwind of the themes from the opera Nabucodonosor, while “Overture to the Wind” mimics the themes of an actual whirlwind. The themes from “Jurassic Park” help the listener relive the thrilling scenes from the movie, while Suk’s “Serenade” is silky and soothing. Every angle is covered, and there’s something here for everyone. The IHS Orchestra Spring Concert begins on Wednesday, May 29th, at 8 P.M. in Kulp Auditorium.
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By KATHERINE PECK
After months of winter training, the Cascadilla Boat Club (CBC) is ready to get back on the water. The CBC is a group of masters and scholastic rowers, rowing both competitively and recreationally out of the historic Cascadilla Boathouse in Stewart Park. The scholastic team works year round, competing at regattas in the fall, spring, and summer and rowing indoors during the winter to stay in shape. The team is composed of novice (first-time/ freshman) and varsity rowers (sophomores, juniors, and seniors with at least two seasons of experience). Crew is not a school sport and although most of the members of the scholastic team come from IHS, there are several rowers who come from out of town. This year’s team includes rowers not only from IHS and LACS, but also from Lansing, Newfield, Dryden, Trumansburg, and Whitney Point. The team’s current head coach is Martin Van Der Heide, a CBC Masters rower and Cornell Rowing alum. On
IHS rowers working hard.
coaching the team, Van Der Heide says, “I am extremely impressed with the dedication and work ethic displayed by the scholastic team this spring. It is a very special team both on and off the water and I’m looking forward to what I think will be a very successful spring racing season.” Other coaches include Cornell law student Emily Rockett, Ithaca College rower Madison Averett, experienced scholastic coach and former University of Rochester rower Julianna Hopkins, and IHS graduate and former CBC rower Andrew Mullen ’12. The team’s seniors, Kevin Ladd ’13, Dennis Baldwin ’13, Noah Leonard ’13, Jessica Glick ’13, Molly Pritz ’13, and Katherine Peck ’13 are looking forward to a great season. During the spring, CBC competes at several regattas including the annual Ithaca Inlet Icebreaker at Treman Marina on April 28. This event is CBC’s only home regatta in the spring. Other regattas include the Section III Championships in Syracuse, the New York State Championship Regatta in Saratoga Springs,
PHOTO/\PROVIDED
Team Feature: Cascadilla Boat Club
and the Pittsford Regatta in Pittsford, New York. Unfortunately, this year’s state championship (one of the biggest regattas that CBC attends) falls on the same weekend as senior prom, and many of the team’s seniors have had to make a difficult decision about which to attend. In addition to rowing, CBC takes part in several community service events throughout the year. On Saturday, March 30, the team participated in the Stewart Park cleanup. Armed with rakes, shovels, and brooms, the team walked the waterfront trail from the boathouse to the Farmer’s market, picking up litter and clearing the trail. The team also takes part in an annual “erg-a-thon” called Row for Humanity to raise money for both CBC and Ithaca High School’s Habitat for Humanity Club. CBC has grown considerably since its founding in 1977; the scholastic team in particular. The team is looking forward to welcoming many new rowers and continuing a tradition of commitment and excellence in the future.
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May 6, 2013
Should NCAA Players be Paid? Pro
Con
By CHRIS SKAWSKI
By KHALID VREDE
Should NCAA basketball players be paid for playing? It’s a big question that still seems relevant with the memory of March Madness fresh in everyone’s mind (right? That wasn’t too long ago for you guys?). This view seems to make a lot of sense when you break it down. Professional basketball players are paid ridiculous amounts of money, and some of the best college players are on par with some NBA players. It makes sense that people doing the same job get paid the same, right? In addition to this, you have to consider the huge impact top players have on a college. Good players make a team better, and better teams get recognized nationally in tournaments and in general. Better-recognized colleges have merchandise purchased in stores around the country. Also, when someone leaves the game on and their kid watches it, that kid inherits a love for Syracuse or Michigan or Louisville, and may go there one day, giving the college plenty of money for tuition. Now, most large schools have a paid marketing department to make sure the college is known and people attend. If these people are paid, then athletes who are arguably working harder and doing the same job also should be paid. In short, not only are these athletes performing, they are also providing a valuable service to their school, and that is worth compensation.
With such events as March Madness in the not-so-distant past, the question of whether or not college athletes should be paid has been popping up frequently. Proponents cite mainly the hard work and dedication of the athletes that leads to considerable monetary benefits for colleges and universities as the reason athletes should receive an annual salary. Unfortunately, such a suggestion neglects the cost of the numerous benefits college athletes already receive. While it is true that college athletes should be compensated for their efforts, providing a salary is certainly not the answer, and may cause problems for institutions of higher learning in its implementation. The first, and frankly most convincing, argument for student athletes not being paid is that they are already being compensated for their efforts indirectly. Many desirable student athletes receive a free ride, where the university pays fully for their tuition. Other perks, such as access to gym facilities, preferential boarding options, health insurance in the case of injury, free tutoring, paid travel expenses, and equipment are commonplace in many colleges and universities. When converted into hard numbers, college athletes make considerably more than the average American citizen and they get to do what they love. Paying students is tantamount to walking across a field of landmines since there are so many tough decisions institutions would have to make concerning the issue. It’s common knowledge that most of the revenue colleges receive from teams comes from football and men’s basketball, but other sports generate revenue as well. Should all athletes be paid, even those who bring in less money? What about female athletes, or those in Division ll sports? Such questions would only generate controversial decisions that may disrupt campus life for athletes and nonathletes alike. These questions, however, would only be debated in colleges and universities if they found a way to sidestep the colossal issue of funding. Institutions that receive profit from their teams are in the minority. Only about 10% of colleges and universities see real profit, while most others barely break even. Provision of a salary would leave smaller institutions unable to compete with larger ones and eventually there would only be a few teams playing at all. At the very least, tuition prices for everyone would go up. Lengthy contract disputes would also become an issue. If a person wishes to become a lawyer, writer, teacher or any number of other professions, they must first gain unpaid experience in the field, often as an intern. Why should student athletes be exempt from this important step into entering a professional field? At the heart of this debate is the essential question, “What is college for?” Making a million dollars or receiving an education? With salaries provided to students, academic success would quickly lose value when compared to a sizable check. No credible college or university would willingly encourage this, but offering salaries to student athletes would soon make it a harsh reality.
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May 6, 2013
Wacky Sport: Bun Snatching PHOTO/\PROVIDED
By MEDEEA POPESCU
The ancient Chinese sport of bun snatching is seeing a comeback at the annual Bun Festival in Cheung Chau. This tiny island in Hong Kong holds the Bun Festival every May, coinciding with the Buddha’s birthday and featuring lion dances, parades, and all-vegetarian feasts. The centerpiece of the festival is the bun-snatching race: climbers must scale three nearly-vertical 60-foot towers, constructed of bamboo and covered in steamed buns. The higher the bun a climber reaches, the more luck they will have in the coming year. A 1977 visitor said, “At exactly midnight, a gong sounds and all the young men who have taken part in the festival rush forward and begin to climb the 60-foot towers. Some climb up inside the tower and burst through at the top – for it’s the crowning bun and the banner on the top that will bring the best good fortune throughout the year. Without any thought for safety, the young men swarm all over the towers like bees over a honeycomb, collecting buns as fast as they can and stuffing them into pockets, baskets and sacks. It’s usually all over within 10 minutes, leaving three sorry-looking frames of bamboo, tattered paper and rough string.” The sport was banned after a major collapse in 1978 injured over 100 people, but in 2005 new safety precautions — mountain-climbing gear, tutorials for participants, plastic buns over a steel tower — brought bun snatching back as an elite competition. Today, 12 climbers are selected in pre-trials, and women are allowed to participate. Some islanders have criticized the loss of tradition. In the words of the island’s bun-maker, “With the steel tower and plastic buns, the climb will be turned into just another sport. On one hand, I appreciate the concern for hygiene and safety. But on the other hand, the heritage value will be gone and the meaning will be lost.” Bun snatching’s purpose in the modern world is yet to be determined, but the sport itself is undoubtedly going strong. PHOTO/\PROVIDED
April Sudoku Solution:
The Win Column: Pre-Draft Analysis By PETER FREY Staff Writer
There’s no way around it: Bill “Lady-Slayer” Belichick thrives in the draft. I can’t remember the last time a Patriots rookie didn’t win the NFL Silver Winnermobile. The question on everyone’s mind is: who will be the next member of this all-star crew? Keenan Allen: With an unofficial 2.07-second 40-yard time, and Edelman-esque hands, Keenan Allen would be an admirable addition to the team. Unfortunately, other head coaches have taken up the despicable habit of videotaping Bill Belichick’s draft signals, and it’s unlikely that this diamond in the rough will fall to pick 29. Justin Hunter: Known in some circles as the Kobe Bryant of the NFL, Justin “The Pinata” Hunter made a name for himself in college by averaging a not-seen-since-Jeremy-Ebert 13.2 buckets per game his freshman year. Geno Smith: Not since Ryan “The Chosen One” Mallet has a quarterback with this much untamed flow set foot in the NFL. While he’s nowhere near that level, even the comparison gives Geno a leg up. Smith could be worth one of the Patriots’ two eleventh-ound picks. Swapsies: It’s just the kind of crafty scheme Belichick would use to throw other coaches off the scent. Nobody would expect an international powerhouse like the New England Patriots to trade down in exchange for future picks. Patience is a virtue, and it goes hand in hand with ballerometry. Extra Point: Here are a few extra words about Green Bay Packers’ Clay Matthews. A wise man once said, “if you’re going to draft a player, make sure he’s worth the risk of any scandal.” Clay Matthews is an atrocious player, and a steroid scandal waiting to happen. Not even worth a roster spot. This guy is so bad, he could be in the league for years with nobody even noticing.
Quiz - What Accessory Should You Add to Your Spring Wardrobe? By TOVA WILENSKY Staff Writer
1. It’s a warm Monday afternoon. You have a lot of homework, but it’s so nice outside that you: A. Dig a hole in the ground, thereby making a swimming pool. B. Build a treehouse in the nearest tree. C. Plant flowers in a cryptic pattern. D. Go rollerblading in the grass. E. Make a mud pie. 2. The library is giving away old books! Which one grabs your eye? A. Beach Party: A Collection of Short Stories B. The How-To-Make-TheOfficially-Perfect-Smoothie Cookbook C. 100 SAT Words For The Nature-Lover D. Falling in the Mud: Soccer Edition E. Spring-ify Your Living Room 3. While riding your bike on a breezy spring day, you find a wallet with $1000 in cash inside. There is no ID or contact information. What do you do? A. Split the cash with your friends and hit the mall.
B. Put the money aside for college. C. Turn the wallet in to the police. D. Use the money to go to an amusement park for the weekend. E. Leave the wallet on the ground – you don’t know what to do with that much money.
ing soccer practice. E. Watching a dramatic soap opera on TV.
4. You are babysitting for a little boy and he wants to play outside. His swing set has a giant bees’ nest in it, so you: A. Wage war with the bees inside. B. Help him plant seeds in the garden. C. Line up branches on the ground and make a maze for him to walk through. D. Let him ride on your back while you ride your bicycle. (Maybe not so safe, but fun!) E. Tell him to use his imagination and pretend to be playing on a playground.
7. Your science teacher tells you to invent something new! You decide to create: A. A cell phone that never loses its charge. B. A filter that takes all of the pollen out of the air in front of you. Achoo! C. A robot that can build other robots. D. Sneakers that tie themselves. E. Chewing gum that never loses its flavor.
5. Winter’s over, but there’s still a cold going around. You have to stay home from school, spending most of your time: A. Texting friends. B. Making a collage. C. Studying and catching up on schoolwork. D. Complaining about miss-
6. Where is your favorite place to go during carnivals? A. Ferris wheel. B. Haunted house. C. Fortune teller. D. Balloon Darts. E. Cotton candy stand.
8. Where do you want to go for the spring field trip? A. Seabreeze. B. National Museum of Art. C. An aquarium, duh! D. World’s largest trampoline. E. The Cheesecake Factory. 9. What is the worst part of spring? A. Rainy days. B. No snow! C. Pollen everywhere!
D. Nothing. E. BUGS. Results: Mostly A’s: You should wear a rainbow wig this spring. Bright colors are so in this season! A rainbow wig goes with everything and brightens up any room you enter. Mostly B’s: Show off a dandelion crown. Spring flowers are blooming, so there’s no better way to celebrate spring than wearing it. Pay no attention to the bees that will follow you everywhere. Mostly C’s: Invest in a high tech watch. Nothing says spring like a watch that can tell you the time, date, and day of the week! Extra points if it’s waterproof for those rainy spring days. Mostly D’s: Look amazing in shutter shades this spring. It’s getting bright and sunny out, so protect your eyes with these unique glasses. They’re colorful and will go with any outfit. Be careful not to get into a staring contest with venetian blinds. Mostly E’s: Get into the spring spirit with bunny slippers. They’re comfortable and casual. Just be careful, they don’t do well in mud.
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PENULTIMATE May 6, 2013
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If you like what you see (or don’t), submit your own content! Submit cartoons, photography, questions, comments, stories, letters of complaint (or praise), or literary pieces. Hey, maybe you’ll see your name printed on this page. Drop off your stuff at Backpage Editor E-mail: backpage@ihstattler.com So what are you waiting for? I’m waiting for my soufflé of your thoughts. Chop chop.
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PENULTIMATE May 6, 2013
Dear Danelle: Dear Danelle, I just suffered a terrible loss and I’m really disappointed in myself because of it. I put all my time and energy for a whole year into a ______ contest and all I have to show for it is a “participation ribbon.” How do I cope with this? Disappointed Dear Whiny, First of all, I blotted out what type of contest you participated in because I believe the following advice can apply to every situation. Also, readers have requested more madlibs (someone may pay me), so you’re all welcome. We really need the funding. Actually, I just want money. But I can relate to your story! Many times have I been in a situation when I put all my effort into something and nothing worked out. I remember when I was a kid living in rural Mississippi. My parents were so poor that my best dresses were made out of potato sacks. Today, I am one of the world’s most influential persons! Seriously! My name is Oprah Winfrey and I approve this message. Anyway... This seems like a good time to take a moment and re-evaluate the advice I give. Many have claimed that this advice column in general is not applicable to everyday situations. But really, you should take my advice. The last person who didn’t heed my words was Alfred Watts. After his first talk, he told me, “You know what? I thought this was really successful! Aside from the 20 percent who skipped/left, IHS is on the path to success!” I was all like, “Good for you! You go Glen
Coco!” And he was like, “Now that the IHS students know what to expect, I’ll come back next year and say the same thing: Again! I’ll even keep the same booklet and won’t even bother correcting the spelling of ‘Barak’ Obama!” When I tried to get him to rethink the seminar, he said something like, “Nah, they’ll invite me a year later regardless!” (Note: his website no longer exists.) And back to your contest. So what if you didn’t snatch first place? Or beat every single competitor? Statistics dictates that you were probably not the worst one there. So instead of feeling bad that some people did much better than you, feel good that other people did much worse than you. You might be wondering, “What am I going to do with these mad skills?” The answer is, well, maybe these skills will be useful later in your life. Maybe, you’ll be successful later because of the hard work you put in now. Maybe what seems like wasted effort now will be the last piece of your puzzle! I’m wondering too! I really don’t know; this is what happens when I get non-specific questions. Honestly, the best way to get through it is to just laugh and move on. There are plenty of other chances in life. Face it: you don’t get another chance at the past, but you have infinitely many chances in the future. PEACE! (Please Envision (me) Accentuating Certain Expressions)
Danelle Agular
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Horoscopes
Taurus (April 20 to May 20): Summer is coming up! You’ll plan on doing something useful, and then waste time doing nothing. It’s okay, just go back to school. So it’s not okay. Gemini (May 21 to June 20): Your serenade from A Cappella Club was the most memorable high school moment. Unfortunately, you’re in A Cappella Club and had to serenade yourself. Cancer (June 21 to July 22): You shall journey - a quest to find the holy grail. It has consumed backpage editors since the beginning of time: The first horoscope. Leo (July 23 to August 22): Check your pulse. Now run in a circle. Boom, gym credit. Virgo (August 23 to September 22): When your dreams all fail / And the ones we hail / Are the worst
of all / And the blood’s run stale / I’ll just copy lyrics and make your future / a dragon imaginer. Libra (September 23 to October 22): TWIMC: omg scopes tl;dr FFS. KIR ikr DHYB. DENIAL, but DEWD lmnop DETI. BBBG 4eva TTIOT. (To whom it may concern: oh my gosh horoscopes too long, I didn’t read. Keep it real, I know right don’t hold your breath. Don’t even notice I’m lying, but dude <letters of the alphabet> don’t even think it. Bye-bye be good forever - the truth is out there.) Scorpio (October 23 to November 21): Classroom discussions will force you to start questioning your sanity. Here’s a test: If Pisces’s horoscope makes sense, sorry. Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21): Have a song stuck in your head?
Remember, sharing is caring! Capricorn (December 22 to January 19): This is your real sign. Everyone you know has lied to you about your birthday. (It’s actually January 1st, 1991, at 1:12 AM. You’ll get it right next time.) Aquarius (January 20 to February 18): For the next week, have cupcakes with you at all times. Someone will approach you with a pie that says “qt” on it. When you hear “have a qt pie, cutie pie” respond with “here’s your cupcake, cupcake.” Pisces (February 19 to March 20): Shocking news will flip your world upside-down. But if a forest is upside-down, which way is the tree? Aries (March 21 to April 19): Did you find anything unusual with these horoscopes? (Hint: We’re missing one).
Sudoku April Solution: see p. 18 for solution
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All rows columns, and boxes contain each of the numbers 1-9.