September 2011

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

SPORTS page 4: A Year Down Under

page 12: CBC Update

SUMMER

page 11: The Unbelievable Finale

RECAP

page 8

September 7, 2011 • Estd. 1892 • Vol. 120 • No.1• Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com • Ithaca High School, 1401 N. Cayuga St., Ithaca, NY, 14850 • FREE

Introducing Principal Powers

Link Crew Turns Six

By PAUL STOVER

PHOTO/PROVIDED

Jarett Powers, the new IHS principal

By KELSEY SHANG

Jarett Powers, former IHS associate principal, was unanimously voted principal of IHS by the BoE. While an Ithaca College student in 2003, Powers was a student teacher at IHS with Dean Pickens instructing Regents U.S. History and Government. In 2004, Powers officially began teaching U.S History and Global at IHS and in 2006, he expanded to AP Human Geography. In 2009, he was promoted to IHS associate principal.

As principal, Powers wishes to improve IHS’s graduation rate.

“We need to focus on improving our graduation rate.” said Powers.

“For the 2009-2010 school year, our African American graduation rate was 58%, our Special Education graduation rate was 55%, our economically disadvantaged student rate was 75% and our overall graduation rate was 85%,” Powers wrote in an email on September 2.

Our graduation goal, set by New York State, is 95%. By the 2013-2014 school year, all students must pass the state standards for English Language Arts and Mathematics.

He also wants to celebrate those already succeeding at IHS. “IHS is also full of gifted students, “ said Powers. “Many may not realize it, but so many students go on to do amazing things. It’s important to celebrate our strengths and help students find their path to reach their dreams.”

He also plans to renew collaboration between students and teachers in order to provide opportunities to engage and challenge students. He plans to continue and strengthen Professional Learning Communities (PLC), providing time when teachers discuss curriculum, assess the effectiveness of courses, and share techniques to “level the playing field for students, ”said Powers.

With what seems like a lot to accomplish, Powers is ecstatic to begin.

“This is my dream job. This is what I want to do for students, staff, and teachers.”

Imagine—a countless number of incoming freshmen nervously looking at their high school schedules. Where do they go? Who do they meet? Luckily, these freshmen have Link Leaders watching over them who try to make their transition into high school as smooth as possible.

Link Crew currently exists in 41 American states. It is a program that chooses upperclassmen and some sophomores to advise freshmen on how to make their first year of high school as simple, fun and memorable as possible. This means advising them on what clubs to join, what classes to take and what activities to partake in.

These leaders are essentially trained on how to make freshmen feel at home in high school.

When the first day of school begins for freshmen, they will engage in numerous activities that will allow them to meet new friends. Freshmen will be given tours so they are able to find

their classes easily. Link Crew also provides an opportunity for freshmen to become friends with the upperclassmen. Freshmen: don’t be surprised if your Link Leader enters your first period Biology class with a bag of candy. The Crew also holds lots of events that allow new students to bond with their Link Leaders, each other, and the high school community.

Out of the many different schools that use the Link Crew program, our high school’s is very successful due to the hard work of advisers Judy Cogan and Kelly Metzler.

“I care a lot about my school, and this program feels like a real, concrete, effective way to make our school even better through building meaningful and lasting relationships,” said Cogan.

Cogan and Metzler spend countless hours preparing for many different, unique events to better the freshmen community and overall high school experience. Some events include continued on p. 4

Tattler Court Case Seals the Deal

By MANSI VOHRA

Since 2005, previous Tattler editors have been battling a court case that finally came to a close in May of this year. The situation initially started at the end of December 2004 and beginning of January 2005, when former Tattler adviser, Stephanie Vinch, received a cartoon and article created by an editor that mocked sex education in Health class. The article was entitled “Alumni Advice: Sex is Fun!” with a cartoon below illustrating eight stick figures in different sexual positions next to a door that read “Health 101.”

Vinch, using her authoritative power as adviser, firmly crossed out the cartoon, deeming it “inappropriate” and prohibited its publication in the 2005 January issue. Due to increased dissatisfaction from the editors, Vinch, former Assistant Superintendent Russell, and Principal Wilson all compiled a set of guidelines that were mandatory for editors to adhere to.

The editors, still enraged that their cartoon and article weren’t published, decided to publish it instead in the February issue. Of course, Vinch censored the cartoon, which angered the editors even more, because they believed their First Amendment rights were being violated.

When the March issue came along a month later, former Superintendent Pastel prohibited the distribution of the paper on school property: “I believe that the cartoon at issue is obscene, and further that its distribution would be offensive to many students and confusing to others, particularly immature students whose understanding of and views about sexual relations are not fully formed.” The editors violated Pastel’s order, and published the cartoon in the independent March

issue anyway along with full distribution of the Tattler at IHS. Although the April and May issues were allowed publication on school grounds, the editors, in accordance with their view that the Tattler is completely a “student-run newspaper,” issued a lawsuit against the school for violating their First and Fourteenth Amendment rights.

Four years after the lawsuit was filed, the District Court argued that the IHS Tattler is a limited public forum, meaning that the newspaper is, in this case, open for reasonable public expression against a serious matter. The District Court, agreeing with the actions taken by the defendants (the School Board), granted partial summary judgment in their favor and argued that a matter dealing with a sexually related topic could definitely confuse students who haven’t yet been exposed to sex education. The District Court, however, did not announce that they were entirely in accordance with the defendants, considering the complicated situation the written guidelines had left the students in.

After thoroughly analyzing each point made by the District, the United States Court of Appeals (Second Circuit) took matters into their rule that of the three main arguments made, the first pertained to the Tattler representing a limited public forum. The Court of Appeals agreed with the District in that the Tattler had had an adviser since 1979, who had the right to veto decisions that were made by the editorial board if they were inappropriate. They also argued that the Tattler wasn’t a traditional or designated forum, since it did not welcome all types of speeches, including offensive expression, into its readcontinued on p. 4

September 7, 2011

Editorial: A BETTER SOLUTION: PRINCIPAL POWERS As the new school year begins, IHS can expect to see a familiar face with new ambitions and plans. Having gained both respect and admiration from students and teachers, Jarrett Powers’ new entry as principal is delightfully welcomed.

Some may question whether his brief career of seven years has prepared him for what lies ahead. However, Powers’ accumulated knowledge as a student teacher, teacher, department head and associate principal well prepares him for the challenge of running a large, dynamic high school.

Powers plans to continue and strengthen programs such as the Professional Learning Communities (PLC) will greatly bridge the gap between differing success rates within same-subject classes and ultimately raise the graduation rate. It will improve student learning as teachers share classroom techniques.

In addition, Powers brings knowledge from his experience as a former student. He was able to continue his education with the support of one of his past teachers. Powers believes that with that same motivation and mentorship, he can not only challenge students, but also relate to them on a personal level. By establishing

connections with students, he hopes to show that their dreams are attainable through education.

Popular with students and parents, he has continued to uphold a positive image at IHS. For several years, he has been asked by the senior classes to speak at graduations. As an associate principal, Powers has acted as chaperone during school trips and school dances , often seen dancing alongside students.

“He’s a down to earth person,” Greg Chu ‘12 said. “He likes having fun, but gets the job done and takes things seriously.”.

It is clear that Powers truly cares about students, families, and staff and that changes at IHS will be made in the best intentions.

With a plethora of acquired knowledge and passion, Powers’ promotion is a smart move made by the BoE. However, it is important to note that the actions of one cannot achieve success without the contributions of a supporting body. Such goals are like stone soup to which everyone needs to add something before taking a sip.

The IHS Tattler welcomes Jarrett Powers to his new position as principal.

EMBRYONIC CELL RESEARCH: EXPANDING DEBATE Whether or not the government funds embryonic stem cell research has posed both an ethical and logical concern among researchers for the past century. The topic has even led to a division in opinion between Democrats and Republicans— leaving those traditionally in favor and opposed to funding research, respectively. While research supporters argue that stem cells could lead to cures for many diseases (Parkinson’s, heart disease, etc.), the ethical and logical process that is uses raises controversy.

It is almost impossible to neglect the benefits that embryonic stem cells could bring for society. These particular stem cells have the ability to divide into more than 200 different cell types in the body and can thus replenish cells that have died from infection and disease. Replenishing these dead cells can lead to a cure for the most prevalent diseases today, and in the process, save millions of lives. Medical time and efficiency could be much improved with the use of stem cells. In contrast to organ transplants, using healthy stem cells could prove to be an easier and much shorter procedure, leaving fewer people in dire need of healthy organs.

It seems as though this would be the perfect solution for clinicians and specialists. It’s potentially easier than current procedures, much more efficient and could save millions of lives… so why not be in favor of government funded research?

Focus on the logic—if 46 million Americans aren’t covered by health care in the U.S., how will they be able to afford therapies arising from stem cell research? Connecticut, Ohio, New Jersey, Illinois, and California have cumulatively raised $16 billion for funding research while 15 percent of the U.S. population won’t even be able to benefit from these advances.

Rather than raise money for embryonic stem cell research, the government should focus on making sure a greater percentage of Americans are covered by health care programs such as S-Chip, Medicaid, and Medicare. Even so, the people who are covered by health care may not be willing to spend that much money on cells—an estimated $64,000, according to a spokesperson from the National Institute of Health, would be needed to acquire stem cell therapy. Are the potential expenses and

limitations worth funding research?

The second problem with pursuing research is purely ethical. Although many people know the outcome embryonic stem cell research brings, they don’t know the process in which the actual research is conducted.

Embryonic stem cells can either be derived from in-vitro fertilization (IVF) or abortions. In vitro, Latin for “within glass” calls for a procedure of fertilizing multiple eggs with different sperm outside of the body. On the 5th day of fertilization, when the zygote becomes a blastocyst (roughly 150 cells), scientists are able to derive stem cells from this cell mast and keep them under appropriate conditions for general use.

This process is precisely what causes many politicians, such as former President Bush, to shake their heads in opposition and deem embryonic stem cell research as “conducting pre-mature embryonic death.”

In fact, they couldn’t be more correct in their judgment, because when thinking in perspective, if scientists hadn’t taken stem cells from all the embryos they used, the U.S. population could expand to much more than 312 million people. In a sense, IVF, in it’s complicated process, could lead to an embryo surgically incised within a mother’s womb, or a mere tool from which scientists derive stem cells.

In proposing solutions for embryonic stem cell research, there are a couple of steps the U.S. should take: step one is to focus more on providing health care benefits for every American in the U.S., and directing tax payer money in that direction.

After the health care crisis is solved, stem cell research should definitely be a top priority for clinicians and specialists, except in a less controversial manner. Instead of embryonic stem cell research, researchers should focus on reprogramming other stem cells (such as those derived from adult human tissue) to act and differentiate the way embryonic stem cells do. Although, at this rate, it may end up being a while before the U.S. sees any cure to heart disease or Alzheimer’s, being ethical and logical is far more important than taking any chances.

Editor’s Note: All editorials published in The Tattler are not anonymous and represent the views of the sixteen students on the editorial staff. Editorials are written about topics the Tattler staff deems important. Such issues may be global or specific to IHS.

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advisor@ihstattler.com The Tattler is the studentrun newspaper of Ithaca High School. The Tattler was founded in 1892, and is published monthly.

As an open forum, The Tattler invites submissions of opinion pieces and letters to the editor from all members of the community. Drop off submissions in H134, e-mail them to editor@ ihstattler.com.

Letters can be mailed to The IHS Tattler 1401 N. Cayuga St. Ithaca, NY 14850 We reserve the right to edit all submissions.

These submissions do not necessarily reflect the views of The Tattler editorial staff.

September 7, 2011

Opinion:

HELP

America In Crisis: The Rich Must Pay

By MIKE HALL

The recent debt ceiling debate has sparked controversy between Republicans and Democrats over how to unburden ourselves from our massive national debt. The President, as well as his Democratic colleagues on the Hill, has argued that we must cut spending in conjunction with raising taxes on the rich (incomes of over $250,000 per year). The Republicans have stated that they will not accept any deal involving raising taxes and will only agree to cut frivolous programs.

A special bipartisan congressional committee, composed of six members of the House and six Senators, has been formed and tasked with reducing our deficit and debt by $1.4 trillion. It is crucial that these 12 elected representatives insist on increasing the tax revenues for the rich, thereby returning the tax rates to where they used to be.

Under President Reagan, Congress lowered the marginal tax rate on the highest income bracket from 70% to 28%, arguing that if the rich had more money to spend, it would “trickle” its way down to the poor in the form of new jobs. While refuted by many economists, the trickle-down theory is still being touted today. As a result, the revenue that the federal government receives in taxes has decreased dramatically. This has, in part, led to today’s deficit crisis.

Warren Buffet, investor and billionaire, recently wrote in an editorial in the New York Times, “My friends and I have been coddled long enough by a billionaire-friendly Congress. It’s time for our government to get serious about shared sacrifice.” The shared sacrifice refers to the need for both parties to sacrifice some of their pet programs. For the Democrats, these programs include education, health, and other social programs. For Republicans it means

cuts to the military. But if the sacrifice is really to be shared by everyone, not primarily on the poor and middle-class, shouldn’t the rich pay more? Warren Buffet and I say yes.

Some argue that even if the government were to raise taxes on the rich, the revenue gained would not be substantial. The numbers disagree. Chris Edwards, Fox News analyst and director of tax policy studies at the Cato Institute, a public policy think tank, has estimated that the proposed tax increases on the richest Americans will raise $700 billion over the next ten years. That’s certainly nothing to scoff at and it is $700 billion that will not need to be cut to the detriment of the poor.

While there are a lot of unneeded programs in Washington, there aren’t enough to cover the $1.4 trillion in cuts. This congressional committee will invariably cut social programs that the most economically disadvantaged rely upon. Conservative media often focuses on how government handouts to the poor are ill-advised because they foster a sense of laziness and of entitlement, of saying, “I don’t need a job. The government will provide for me.”

While there certainly are people who think like that in this country, how does one distinguish between the lazy and those who simply cannot find work?

The unemployment rate in this country is 9.2%. It is impossible that the majority of those people choose not to work because of whatever meager scraps they can get from the government.

We have a ballooning deficit and a rising national debt in this country. There needs to be substantial cuts in government spending. Programs need to be trimmed, adjusted, and reworked to do more with less, but that cannot be the only answer. We need to ask those with more to give more, for their own benefit and for the benefit of their fellow countrymen.

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October 22, 2010

LINK CREW

continued from p.1

Movie Night, Carnival Night, picnics, Cocoa and Cram, and Cookies and Cram, and other events that students suggest.

“Since I teach only freshmen, I get to see the positive impact a group of strong lead-

ers can have on the incoming freshman class,” said Metzler.

“Also, I get to see how these freshmen grow and mature, later becoming leaders themselves. It is a really great way to see the changes in students and their commitment to the school community.”

Both advisers said Link Crew’s biggest success is the new friendships students make regardless of their grade.

Expanding the program is yet another idea that is shared by both Cogan and Metzler.

“In our first year of Link Crew, there was a freshman who was extremely shy and introverted, often eating by himself in the cafeteria,” said Cogan. “A group of Link Leaders noticed that and took action by inviting him into their lunch group, where he stayed all year. This freshman became more outgoing and comfortable with his school environment, making friends on his own and joining clubs. When he himself became a junior, he applied for and was accepted into the Link Crew program as a leader. He then gave back to his crew of freshmen what he had been given by the leaders who befriended him. This story epitomizes the mission of Link Crew.”

In acknowledging the goals and successes that Link Crew brings forth, the school community proudly opens its arms to the program and its sixth year at IHS. Hopefully, students will continue to develop this tradition for years to come.

Launching Honor: Atlantis

By CHAORAN ZHAO

In the early hours of July 21, 2011, the Space Shuttle Atlantis landed safely at Kennedy Space Center. On board were the four astronauts that comprised STS-135, the 135th and final Space Shuttle mission conducted by the NASA. STS-135’s main mission was to ferry three important machines to the International Space Station (ISS). The three machines were: the Multi-Purpose Logistics Module, which can carry huge payloads; the Lightweight Multi-Purpose Carrier; and the Robotic Refueling Mission. The shuttle also carried provisions for the ISS crew, which will last them until 2012. Furthermore, Atlantis carried an American flag that flew on the very first Space Shuttle mission in 1981. The Atlantis crew presented this flag to the ISS crew, and the flag will remain at the ISS until the next American astronaut team arrives at the ISS to retrieve it, whenever that may be. The flag is a symbol that reminds us that although a chapter in American space exploration has ended, Americans will be back in space soon enough.

Due to the fact that there was no money in NASA’s budget for a space flight, there were doubts that the mission would actually happen. During an address in November 2010, NASA Administrator Charles Bolden pleaded for more funding because he believed the private sector of space had not reached the

LOOK OUT! TEN NEW THINGS AT IHS!

World News

1. Lockers

EUROPE: Belarus, Europe’s last dictatorship, is experiencing protests in the capital, Minsk. Recently, the protests have spread to other major cities throughout the country. Over 1,000 protesters have been arrested, and the BBC reports that some are being tortured.

2. Regents Exam Prep Classes 3. Marine Biology class 4. Parking lot

MIDDLE EAST: Pressure is mounting against President Bashar al-Assad of Syria to step down, with leaders of the EU, President Obama, and the UN calling for him to cease the violence against his own people and to step down. Over 2,000 civilians are estimated to have been killed thus far.

A glimmer of hope is coming from Egypt: Hosni Mubarak has been charged with conspiring in the killing of protesters, and has been charged, along with his sons, with abusing power to amass wealth. Egyptians and political analysts note that this is a step towards true democratic reform.

5. Health & Wellness Center 6. Forensics class 7. More science lab periods 8. Unnecessary K lockers are gone 9. Bus loop 10. Gym lockers TATTLER

continued from p.1

issues.

The second argument made by the Court was that the school did in fact have rights to censor information that could be characterized as lewd, vulgar, offensive, or indecent. After reviewing the various sexual positions that the cartoon illustrated, the Court of Appeals characterized the drawing as “lewd” and therefore gave the school freedom to censor the cartoon.

The final decision determined that ICSD’s action in not permitting the distribution of the March issue was completely legal given the foundation of the paper. The Court of Appeals argued that since the school sponsors, publishes, and reads the Tattler, it thus bears the symbol of the paper as its “newspaper mascot,” and therefore, the Tattler isn’t an entirely “student-run newspaper” as the editors had promulgated. ICSD held the authoritative power to cancel any publications as a result.

All in all, the United States Court of Appeals agreed with the District Court in all of it’s judgments supporting the defendants’ actions. They argued that ICSD lawfully denied the publication of a sexually explicit cartoon due to their given rights, limited public forum, and precaution against confused students. After six years, the Court of Appeals finally affirmed that the editors’ arguments and actions were insignificant in comparison to the school authorities’.

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point where it could take up the missions of ferrying astronauts and equipment to and from the ISS. Luckily, a new NASA budget was passed in April which extends through October 2011. The budget had enough appropriations that allowed for one final mission.

When the entire crew docked at the Space Station, President Barack Obama made a call to the team. Obama congratulated the crew and astronauts, praising them for their bravery and service. Specifically, Obama said, “Your example, I think, means so much, not just to your fellow Americans, but also to your fellow citizens on Earth. The space program has always embodied our sense of adventure and exploration and courage as you guys work in a really harsh environment...

I want to say thank you. You’ve helped our country lead the space age and you continue to inspire us.”

In retrospect, one must admire the feats of engineering that the space shuttle represents.

These behemoths weighed 4,470,000 pounds each. Space shuttles fly at speeds of upwards of 17,500 miles per hour in order to enter low-Earth orbit. For 135 missions, the space shuttles carried cargo safely into space and back to Earth. Unfortunately, the program has been marred by two tragic accidents and astronomical costs for launches. However, the Space Shuttle program has inspired people all over the world to imagine the possibilities of anyone being able to venture out into space.

with us

AFRICA: On July 20, the United Nations officially declared famine in the Horn of Africa for the first time in nearly 30 years.

The UN estimates that 3.2 million people are on the brink of starvation in Somalia and an additional 12.4 million people in the surrounding countries are in need of food aid.

Satellites have uncovered what appear to be five mass graves in the state of South Kordofan, Sudan. The UN Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights has called for an inquiry into whether or not the Sudanese government is guilty of war crimes and crimes against humanity.

ASIA: A civil war has been raging in Burma since April, 1948, making it the world’s longest civil war. What began as an ethnic conflict has turned into an anti-Junta campaign led by a mostly united front of ethnic armies. An estimated 121,000 people have died.

-MIKE HALL

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A Year Abroad:

My Junior Year in Australia

PHOTO/TETA ALIM

Teta, with other exchange students in front of Uluru, the iconic rock which changes colors during sunset in Central Australia.

By TETA ALIM

I’ve been back from Australia for a little more than a month now. My Aussie accent is slowly fading and I’m getting used to driving on the “right” side of the road. But when people ask me, “How was Australia?” I’m at a loss for words.

How can I sum up an entire year away from home in just a few words without boring my audience to tears? This was the question that tormented me long and hard on the plane ride back to America.

I guess I’ll start at the very beginning. I got accepted to the Rotary Youth Exchange Program halfway through my sophomore year as one of the youngest students accepted. I was stoked, or – as they say in Australian – as “happy as Larry.” I touched down in Australia on July 26, 2010, and from then on, I completely immersed myself in the Australian culture. I learned how to drive a truck on the farm, I held a baby kangaroo, and I managed to ride a bus from the Australian capital, Canberra, all the way home without getting lost. Whether it was learning the slang, getting into Aussie Rules football, or eating a meat pie, I wanted to know everything in order to be a “true blue Aussie.”

But my favorite part of Australia was not just the beautiful scenery or the

stomach-filling food: it was all the people I met and became friends with. Attending a private school in Australia—although uniforms and strict rules were new to me—I found that the kids were pretty similar to those at IHS. Australians are so laid-back and friendly that it didn’t take long for me to fit in at school. They’re charming, funny, and love to party. Whenever I went to my friends’ houses, we would play Singstar and eat heaps of food.

I was also very close with the exchange students from my Rotary district.

I’m proud to say that I have a friend from every continent in the world (except Antarctica)! My best friend in Australia was Brazilian and we bonded over our love of music. He played guitar and I sang, so together we were a pretty unstoppable duo. Every other weekend, I would hop on a train to Melbourne, the capital of Victoria, and visit my French or Austrian friend. By the end of our year, we were like family, and if I had any problems at my host home or at school, I knew I could turn to my exchange student friends.

The hardest part of the year was probably adjusting to my host families. My situation was pretty unique: I had seven host families for one year. For the first half of the year, I was rotated monthly among the members of the Rotary Club, because my Rotary club couldn’t find a proper host family for me. The shortest time I stayed at a host family was 10 days. For the first half of the year, I was pretty much living out of my suitcase.

But finally, I was put in with a permanent host family with whom I stayed for the rest of my time in Australia. They lived on a farm completely removed from anything; the bus ride to school was 45 minutes long. But they were so warm and welcoming that I instantly felt at home with them.

The biggest perk about being an exchange student was traveling. In March, there was a big trip around Australia with a group of 40 exchange students (myself included) and four adult leaders. As we toured the country in a bus, we set camps, pitched our own tents, and shared chores. Being stuck together for a month resulted in getting fed up with drama and rumors. But we got past that and got to know each other a lot better.

During the trip, we visited Uluru, an Australian icon and the seemingly biggest rock in the world. It’s much more massive in person than it appears in pictures. Even though it was too windy at the summit to climb, it changed different hues of red when the sun set.

It seemed that, after this huge trip, the rest of my year went by pretty quickly.

Before I knew it, I was back on a plane headed for the States. And that was it.

I have no idea how to fully convey my year. It was better than I had imagined.

In one year, I had changed so much and experienced so many things. I snorkeled among beautiful fish and coral. I saw crocodiles in the pouring rain. I had made so many valuable friends. Now back in Ithaca, I have to finish my senior year and return back to my normal life. But no matter what happens, I will never

Club Spotlight: Model UN Last year, the IHS Model United Nations (MUN) had one of its most successful seasons, winning Best Small Delegation at the Hilton conference in Rochester. Many members received awards, from honorable mention to Best Delegate, at the Hilton conference, the Central NY MUN conference, the UN Association of Rochester conference and the Cornell MUN Conference. This year, we are hoping to attend all of these conferences and take a day trip to the UN headquarters in NYC. The IHS MUN team encourages new students to join and one of the most frequently questions is, “what do you do in Model UN?” Our club attends conferences called “delegations” (gatherings of many MUN clubs from Upstate NY) which typically last two days.

The delegation is assigned one or two countries which every student will represent, such as Italy and Jordan. A student will then pick a committee. At every conference there are about 20 to 30 committees, ranging from the large General Assembly to the smaller and more intense Security Council. All of the committees correspond to actual UN agencies and change yearly, as well as from conference to conference.

In each committee, the delegates will engage in negotiations and give speeches and work together to create resolutions and solve problems. At the end, the best delegates in each committee will receive awards ,and some delegations may receive awards, too.

Although it seems like a lot of work, joining MUN is incredibly rewarding. You learn to comfortably speak in front of crowds, use critical thinking to analyze policies, and conduct in-depth research on your nation. It’s also an opportunity to meet other students from the region and make lasting friendships. If you think MUN might be for you, stop by one of the meetings and get involved!

PHOTO/PROVIDED

By MEDEEA POPESCU

September 7, 2011

Stella’s Restaurant, Bar & Café

Bounced Chapter 1

By KELSEY SHANG

PHOTO/JESSICA BROWN

Stella’s Restaurant, Bar & Café, 403 College Avenue

By ALEKSA BASARA

At 403 College Avenue, only a few doors down from Collegetown Bagels, lies Stella’s Restaurant, Bar & Café.

Immediately upon entering you notice the interesting architecture and design of the main dining area. On your left you see a large, brown, curvy countertop with utensils, menus and napkins. Along the right side are brown speckled tables, with interesting cuts and ridges along the sides. On that same side are large arc-like extrusions jutting out of the wall that connect it to the ceiling.

You may also notice the split ceiling that has a white face on either side of a jagged tear that exposes some pipes. The tiles are hexagonal and form a small floral pattern along the room. It’s elegant, yet eye-catching at the same time. The dim lighting bounces off the white walls to set the mood and transform Stella’s into a local hotspot. Clearly Stella’s has a well paid designer.

At first when seated, you may feel cramped.

As the air conditioning is not very good, I would suggest going on a cooler day. The warmth only worsens the cramped, crowded feeling. The music is played at an appropriate volume, and manages to make the atmosphere more pleasant.

Stella’s has a limited selection of entrées and the bulk of the options are sandwich/ wrap based. Any other kind of food is either not served, or is prepared in a smaller variety

of ways.If steaks are what you’re hungry for, try the steak house about a half a mile away.

If the mood calls for a simple lunch with friends or family, the wraps will not disappoint! The sandwiches and wraps at Stella’s are stuffed with delicious ingredients. Whether you are vegetarian or a meat eater, there is an item on the menu for you. These kinds of meals are offered with a side of veggies, or sweet or regular bar fries. Everything is fresh and well prepared; the long and toasty wait will surely be rewarded when your meal arrives at your table.

During my last visit, I ordered the Chicken Pesto Mozzarella Wrap, and it was piled high with chicken, tomatoes, greens and fresh mozzarella. The meal was reasonably messy, but for a flavor filled entrée, I was willing to put up with a pesto volcano eruption.

Stella’s Restaurant, Bar, & Café is a place worth coming to for a satisfying bite. If you’ve had a meal there in the past, it’s still a place worth coming back to. Chances are the quality will still remain topnotch, and you will be very satisfied with your experience.

Stella’s Restaurant, Bar & Café 403 College Avenue Café open 7am-1am every day Restaurant open 11am-1am Monday-Saturday, 10am-1am Sunday Kitchen open for Lunch & Brunch 9am3pm,

for Dinner 4pm-11pm

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All that his world had come to be — the only thing he knew — was now nothing. The man lifted a chipped mug to his lips and downed the acrid, hot liquid. Choking slightly, he wiped his unshaven beard on his sleeve. The sun had turned a nightmarish shade of red, and he drew the faded curtains, temporarily blinded in a sea of whiteness.

A woman stirred from the next room, quietly groping about the humidity for her garments. Draping them loosely about her body, she called, “Danny, please don’t forget to pick up a box of water pills today.” Grunting, he closed the rickety door, preparing himself for the long abyss of stairs down to the dusty streets below.

The city was in ruin; it had always been that way. Ever since the last Victory War and the Growth Party took power, every development had taken a halt. The country fell victim to corruption and abandon, with cities run by crime syndicates. The rich were protected in the Subbies, but the real lucky ones were deported. Those remaining were left to their own devices.

Danny knew he was more fortunate than most. At least on most days he had enough to afford a daily ration of Meal Toast. Melding with a sea of overalls and denim, he was swept into the Sterling Plasim Monitor factory. Though the technology was outdated, monitors lined every city block, projecting news, advertisements, and various weather announcements. Although it seemed there were enough of such things, the demand never seemed to end.

The dark rooms were barely lit as Danny entered. By his designated workbench, a gaunt but cheery fellow greeted him.

“Hey Dan, how’s the morning?” Russel George chirped, patting his back. “What’s new?”

Danny chucked, “Oh, you already know my answer. It doesn’t change much.” The hours stretched on as new shipments of broken monitors entered and left his bench.

At times, he would peer over to his partner and wonder how he managed to stay so optimistic. Of course, he had lied: today was his last work day. He wasn’t required to come to work today, but he hated staying in his apartment as well.

Late that afternoon, Danny climbed to the factory roof and perched himself upon a nearby cinder block. The wind was unexpectedly strong that day. His livelihood was being snatched from his fingers. His wife, Olivia, was too burdensome to support. Weak. Stupid. Worthless. Thoughts grew like a cancer and consumed his sanity. He knew dangerous thoughts ate at his brain and, for a moment, allowed his body to take control.

Danny took a step and felt gusts of wind coax him further.

The edge—for years, Danny pondered if it was what commenced history or ended its existence. With the leaning structure of the factory and the violent battering of dust, it seemed as if the building was about to collapse under his weight. His heart raced vehemently, sending a rush of blood to his head. Danny heard a commanding voice, freezing him in place. “I wouldn’t think of doing that, if I were you. I don’t know anyone your age think of wasting those years.” Dizzy, he toppled to his knees and clutched the ledge in nausea.

A man in a tan suit reached forth and seized Danny’s shirt by the collar, bringing them face to face. The man’s fair complexion seemed untouched by the city’s grime, and glowed radiantly. Staring with vapid black eyes, the man smirked handsomely, revealing a polished smile. Apprehensively, Danny roughly detached himself from the redgloved grasp of the strange man.

“Leave me be,” he growled, and indignantly walked past the man, descending the empty stairwell.

“Wait!” the man called as he jogged over. “I can tell you’re going through a rough patch. I think I can help. You can make more than at your monitor job.” He impatiently stepped down the stairs, abruptly blocking Danny in his path.

“Here’s my card.” From the coat pocket, the red gloves produced a small white card and confidently placed it in Danny’s palm. “Please come to the address if you reconsider. I want to help you.” Without another word, the stranger climbed down the stairs, fading into the darkness below.

Lost in silent madness, Danny eyed the new object gripped tightly in his fist: THE GARDEN. 45 LIVELY LANE, APT D. ASK FOR THE BOOKIE.

Read the next chapter of this story in the October issue of the Tattler!

September 7, 2011

Club

Spotlight: Key Club Gives Back

Saving a Store: The Re-Opening of Buffalo Street Books

By CHRISTINA SEUNG

Getting into college isn’t just about good grades—it’s also about volunteering. Although grades may be a telltale sign of your success in college, volunteering shows admissions that you’re willing to sacrifice your time to help others. But how do you find places to volunteer?

Most volunteer opportunities take place outside school, so it’s difficult to even hear about them. In addition, with your busy school schedule, you might not be able to find the time or have friends to volunteer with you.

The solution is Key Club International. Key Club is the high school branch of the Kiwanis International—the largest volunteering and service organization. Nationally, there are about 5,000 Key Clubs, all filled with high school students who are lending a helping hand to their communities.

Key Club notifies members about every volunteer opportunity in Ithaca, and the best part is: everyone goes together! The IHS Key Club regularly helps at Loaves and Fishes and other local festivals and businesses.

This coming year, we’re planning to be more involved with the school by volunteering to be ushers at plays and helpers at school events like Open House.

In addition, we’re working with Code Red Robotics and expanding our reach to the Ithaca Children’s Garden in order to bring smiles to the little kids.

We’re even planning on making thoughtful and colorful seasonal greeting cards for seniors at local nursing homes.

For the first time in many years, Key Club is planning to increase our cooperation with Circle-K (the collegiate branch of Kiwanis) by volunteering together and learning about how Cornell students find the time to help others. Through planning and working together on these projects, each member comes to realize the value of leadership, cooperation, inclusiveness and service. The best part is that Key Club celebrates every member’s efforts by having a pizza party or a big outing after a big volunteering event.

Life is more than tiny black letters on your report card.

Grades can’t give you the leadership, the cooperation skills and the passion for helping others that you gain by giving back to your community. As Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” So be a part of Key Club and join the other 800,000 dedicated people nationwide in improving our homes, schools and communities.

By MEDEEA POPESCU

Last February, Buffalo Street Books was on the verge of collapse after 30 years of business. The last five years brought tough economic times and the store had just been breaking even in terms of expenses and income. The difficulty of managing a business that sometimes “dipped into the red,” as employee Bob Proehl said, was too much to deal with.

Gary Weissbrot, store director and long-time employee then announced that the store was closing. Soon after, he was the target of a massive and unexpected community response, “save the store!”.

After raising a quarter of a million dollars and reopening the store as a co-op in April of this year, Buffalo Street Books continues to function as a community bookstore, but it’s owned by around 600 people who bought a share — similar to the Greenstar model.

“Legally speaking a co-op looks a lot like a publicly-traded corporation,” Proehl said.

“We have shareholders and a board of directors. These shareholders are the owners; each of them owns a small percentage of the store itself. If the store is profitable, each owner will receive some dividend of those profits. Buffalo Street has always aimed to be Ithaca’s bookstore; this was just a way to make that literally true.”

In addition to the books it sells, the store now has regular author events, workshops, and book groups, and it’s aiming to do even more. The role of the store is evolving as a result of the co-op. Buffalo Street Books will look more like a “literary arts center than a straight-up store,” said Proehl. Instead of focusing on the “financial bottom line,” the store, by virtue of its community ownership, can concentrate on benefiting the community at large. The store hopes to launch programs with ICSD, including student readings where IHS students can showcase their work.

Though as with all local stores, why should Ithacans support and buy from neighborhood, community-owned businesses rather than go elsewhere?

“There are so many [reasons], I’m not sure where to start,” Proehl said, “but let’s start with straight economics.” Local stores keep money in the local economy, as opposed to chain stores or online which moves money out. A financial study by Civic Economics, a economic analysis firm, determined that for every $100 spent at a local store, about $68 stays in the local economy. This number is even higher for local bookstores- closer to $81. When shopping at a big-box chain, that number is only $43, and when you go to Amazon for your book needs, the statistics are $0 for every million dollars spent there.

Besides supporting the local economy, local businesses “create more living-wage jobs in their communities, donate more to local non-profits and are more invested in the future of their communities. Local businesses also have a smaller carbon footprint than chains.” And most importantly, local stores are what make Ithaca the way it is: unique.

“Walk into the Barnes & Noble here or in Binghamton or in Kansas City and they’re going to look almost exactly the same,” Proehl said. “Get a cup of Starbucks here or at a rest stop on I-90 and they’re going to taste pretty much the same. Me, I’ll take Gimme or the Shop any day of the week. There’s no bookstore out there that looks like ours.”

RESPOND. email submissions to:

Do-Re-Mi: A Cappella Club Q&A

Interview with NAOMI RAYMOND ’13, Club CoFounder Annelise Raymond ‘12: Why did you choose to start A Cappella Club?

Naomi Raymond ‘13: I was in A Cappella Club at DeWitt Middle School and liked it a lot. I was really disappointed when I came to IHS and found there was no such club.

AR: Given that you call yourself a co-founder, who is the other founder of A Cappella Club?

NR: Anne Brenna ’13.

AR: I understand that the choral groups Madrigals and Vocal Jazz sing a cappella. How is your club going to be different from those?

NR: A Cappella Club is going to sing Oldies, like we did in middle school, and hopefully draw a crowd for a different genre of music.

AR: Can you give examples of songs that A Cappella Club will sing this year?

NR: I’ve been working on Finale Songwriter to write harmonies and vocal percussion for such songs as “Chapel of Love” by The Dixie Cups and “The Longest Time” by Billy Joel.

AR: Are you planning on performing in concerts or is A Cappella Club just for fun?

NR: Depending on who joins the club and how quickly we can learn our parts, the club could hopefully sing for the IHS Cabaret this winter.

AR: Who’s the adviser and when are you going to meet?

NR: The adviser will probably be Mr. Lesser and we’re going to meet zero period.

The day of the week isn’t determined yet because we don’t know Mr. Lesser’s schedule, so listen for upcoming announcements! It’ll be 8:05, folks, before school. For those who have conflicts after school, such as sports, this before-school option may better fit into their schedules.

AR: Any other comments?

NR: To all you readers: If you like singing, come sing with us, ‘cause it’s going to be a lot of fun! I already know some pretty awesome people who are going to be in it. Mr. Lesser’s hilarious — it’ll be a great club.

-Annelise Raymond

we want to hear what you have to say editor@ihstattler.com

Summer Recap

centerspread. n. A collection of monthly articles revolving around a selected theme. Oh yeah, they’re also written by awesome people.

Considering that the majority of you are students, many of whom are still submerged in fleeting memories of sun-soaked beaches and bikini tans, it shouldn’t hurt to return to this institutionalized, soul-crushing system (we happen to call it high school). Before putting that pencil to paper, relish the last tastes of abandon in Summer Recap.

Top 10 Worst Summer Ordeals

The Summer of a Lifetime: Moroccan Travels

By KELSEY SHANG PHOTO/PROVIDED PHOTO/PROVIDED

If I’ve learned anything from television, it’s that nothing goes according to plan (and also not to call him Shirley). However, it is mutually agreeable that summer isn’t perfect. In one way or another, it’s not all fun in the sun.

10. Getting Heavily Sunburned. A perfectly good day can be easily ruined by a brutal sunburn. Not that skimpy pink glow that fades over time, but the overbaked, beet-red, peeled skin that’s even painful to see. Just make sure you have more aloe vera than friends who slap your back.

9. Fighting the Mosquitoes. Mosquitoes suck, literally. They seem to have no other prerogative than to give god-awful bites and steal your blood. You can keep compulsively slapping your legs and flailing your arms until you realize wearing pants is the easiest option.

8. Enduring Family Roadtrips. If you are a) a teenager or b) a moody teenager, chances are family roadtrips are a pain.

While your dad’s eager to stop at landmarks and your mom’s eager to relieve her bladder, you’re just eager to sleep through everything.

7. Going Bikini Shopping with Friends. Researchers and scholars have observed this strange female ritual and have come to the conclusion that what appears to be a simple browsing is actually a primal desire to garner compliments. Studies have concluded that blatant insecurities cannot be covered up by strips of polyester cloth.

6. Beating Humid Days. You perspire out of every pore on your body while attempting to trudge through the thick hot air that seems to cling to your every step. It’s the only day that you would ever consider shaving your head.

5. Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Unless you like watching 157 minutes of incomprehensible robot fights and creepy CGI U.S. presidents, then continue remorsing over the childhood memories that Michael Bay bastardized. But hey, it’s in 3D...bastardized memories in 3D. 4. Failing Your Road Test. It’s the look on the instructor’s face that reminds you that Satan works at the DMV. It’s okay, though, you’ll be able to reschedule your test in a few more months.

3. Finding Summer Internships.

You get a taste of real life by fighting college kids for those internships. Unless you’re gifted with algorithmic programming or financial grit, you’re still on the couch telling your mom that “you’re working on it.”

2. Doing Summer AP Work. Any student who has read The Pickup has developed a bitter hatred of Nadine Gordimer.

Essays? Sure. Analysis? Fine. No quotation marks? Oh, the humanity!

1. Studying for the SATs. Literally no one enjoys studying for the SAT. Besides, everyone knows that you’ve been procrastinating for months anyway.

Trekking through the Merzouga Desert in style.

By CAROLINE ESTILL

On my bucket list, I have quite a few things written down: snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef, bathe in the River Ganges, dive off the cliffs of Acapulco, and watch the Palio, among others. This summer I was able to check one thing off this list: riding a camel in the desert, specifically the Merzouga desert, located in southeastern Morocco. It was a breathtaking experience and all that I had dreamt of.

At sunset, my caravan (59 camels in all) departed from a tiny oasis village and set off into the desert. The Merzouga was exactly how I had imagined an African desert to be: undulating, orange sand dunes that stretched as far as the eye could see. For over an hour we trekked through the desert, watching the sun disappear behind the dunes.

After dark we arrived at our campsite for the night, tucked far away in the desert between enormous dunes, and I was relieved to get the chance to jump off of my camel. I was so sore from the ride that I could barely stumble to the tent.

That night was one of the best of my life. By the light of the moon I dined in the desert and devoured tangine, a traditional Moroccan dish of steamed chicken or lamb and vegetables. Instead of going to sleep immediately following dinner, a friend and I decided to explore the dunes around the campsite.

We climbed the tallest one and were able to see for miles across the empty sands. For the first time in my life, I could not see a single electric light somewhere within my sights. I had never been this far from a town before.

We buried ourselves in the fine sand, which got hotter and hotter the further down we burrowed. The best fun was rolling down the dune. I took a running start and tumbled head over heels, laughing all the way down. Of course I ran back up and did it again. Exhausted and plastered with sand, I fell on top of one of the mats clustered around the tents and fell asleep under the stars.

Only a few hours later, I was roused for the journey out of the desert and back toward civilization by the load braying of camels. We set out before dawn to avoid the scorching heat of the sun while we traveled. I could barely stay awake and keep from falling off my camel, but it was

well worth it to see the sun rise. It was a huge, red ball of fire that emerged from behind the dunes.

I was able to fulfill one of my life’s dreams and spend six weeks this summer in Morocco thanks to a scholarship from the State Department to study Arabic. I was one of thirty American high school students from all over the country who participated in a National State Language Initiative for Youth program in Rabat, the capital city of Morocco.

Throughout the summer I took classes five days a week in Modern Standard Arabic, the official language of the Arab states, and Darija, the colloquial Moroccan dialect.

Learning Arabic was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I felt as if I were back in kindergarten, struggling to recognize letters, painstakingly sounding out words, and learning a whole new alphabet, from Alif to Yaw. Spoken Arabic was even harder for me: there are so many sounds in the language that English does not have. The trickiest, in my opinion, were the two “h” sounds. One is aspirated, and the other is not. To be frank, I still cannot tell the difference between the two. Although I am far from fluent in Arabic after just six weeks, I was able to begin my Arabic studies, which I hope to continue at college and afterward, Inshallah (God willing).

More importantly, my knowledge and awareness about Moroccan and Islamic culture grew exponentially. I was able to experience first-hand cultural differences that I had only read about back home. Hearing minaret calls of Allahu Akbar for prayer five times a day, bargaining for every purchase, bathing in a hammam and winding my way through souks were just a few of the adventures that I would never have in Ithaca. Every day I came across something new and exciting. The sights I saw, the cuisine I ate, and the people I met all taught me something new.

My time in Morocco was the summer of a lifetime.

If you think you might be interested in exploring a foreign country and learning a new language in the process, check out www.nsliforyouth.org. You could end up on a summer or year-long program for Arabic, Chinese, Hindi, Korean, Persian, Russian and Turkish. The best part is that all of them are completely funded by the State Department.

I had the time of my life in Morocco and you could too!

September 7, 2011

Romanian Nightmare: The Worst Vacation Ever

By MEDEEA POPESCU

This is the story of the worst vacation ever. No, it’s not about missed flights, weird relatives, or late luggage. Last summer, my mom, brother and I decided to visit our family in Romania, update her carte de identitate (a compulsory form of identification, like a combined passport and social security card), and make me one too, as I had turned 15.

Our trip started out fine, or as fine as a transcontinental 9-hour flight with two connections can be. Five hours in Munich were less than bearable at 3am, but we eventually landed in Bucharest to be greeted by the kind of smog and heat usually reserved for L.A. or Beijing. Giddy with exhaustion and temporarily stunned by the culture shock (having to pay for public restrooms), the five of us, including my cousin and aunt who had come to meet us, piled into their ancient miniature Dacia for the final car ride. There didn’t appear to be traffic regulations in Romania, as far as I could see. We shared the road with gypsy caravans, trucks billowing sand and gravel in their wake, and elderly men on bicycles.

After an hour and a half, we arrived at my grandma’s apartment building in Braşov. Normally, my grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle and little cousin live in a two-room ground-floor apartment, but now there would be three more people sharing the cramped space. We had a dinner of brânză de burduf (sheep’s milk cheese salted and marinated, then sown into a cleaned sheep’s stomach, a southern Transylvanian specialty), piftie (boiled pig’s head in jelly), and mămăligă (polenta).

The next day, we started the process of getting our documents in order. My mom and I took a bus into the city (where I discovered that most old Romanians don’t wear deodorant) and found the police station. There we waited in line for half an hour, only to be told that we needed to get the proper notarized pictures for our identity cards.

So, out into the city we went to find a photo center. Take the photos, go back to the station, wait in line again, but no!

We only have 100-lei banknotes. It would be ridiculous to assume that they would have enough change in a police station (100 lei is about 30 dollars). Go to the bank, change our money into 20-lei notes, go back, and pay 53 lei for my mom’s identity card. But wait! There’s a problem with my forms: apparently, it’s not sufficient that we have the presence of my mom and the signatures of my extended family; I also need my dad’s consent to make a card. Otherwise, how could the government of Romania be sure of my identity? I could be some kidnapped child or illegal orphan being smuggled out of the country (with proper identification, of course). Now close to tears, my mom starts yelling at the teller, explaining that my father is back in the U.S. The teller yells back and calls a superior. He’s even worse. The man condescendingly advises my mother to have my dad come and handle these

difficult affairs; it’s much too complicated for a woman to understand. That was it. We left, boiling with rage.

When my grandma heard about the problem that night, she told us she had a “contact” at the station, and that she could convince this secretary to talk to the woman in charge of local identification affairs. We also went to a local attorney who my aunt insisted could help. This man told us that we needed to get a declaration from my father explaining that he consented to the creation of my identity card: a declaration that was signed and notarized by the secretary to the Romanian ambassador at the embassy in NYC. Well, unfortunately, the secretary to the ambassador had more important things to do — my dad couldn’t get an appointment. We had him FedEx an un-notarized declaration, and went back to the station three days later with it. The teller, a new one this time, was on the verge of accepting our letter, but suddenly left for a few minutes and came back to tell us that we needed a notarized copy. It appeared that my grandma’s “contact” had told her boss about us, and the boss had advised the office to be on the lookout for this sort of situation. Great.

The whole way back, my mom ranted wildly about the depravity and stupidity of this idiotic country, and that she would never, ever come back. On the phone with my dad that night, we kept hearing strange clicks and noises over the line that weren’t coming from either end.

My aunt told us, “Oh yeah, they must be tapping the phones again. That happened a while back to us too.” My mom really went crazy now, and then I understood: what kind of nation wiretaps its citizens without evidence of any wrongdoing? Answer: a formerly Communist nation with only a slight idea of basic democratic human rights.

This vacation had turned nightmarish. In the end, my dad booked a ticket to fly over, but the earliest he could arrive was a day after we left. We worked out a plan where he could still make my card with the documents and photos we had, and my mom, brother and I could leave the country before anything else happened. The night before our plane trip, I discovered there were fleas in my bed.

Finally, flea-bitten and hot, we passed through security at the airport and had one final hurdle to clear: the passport check before boarding. The officer stopped us as he scanned our documents. I saw the photo we had taken for my card flash up on the screen behind him. That photo wasn’t on any of the things he was checking, so why was it there? It seemed that I was on a national watchlist, and my mother wasn’t allowed to take me out of the country.

However, my brother (the lucky American citizen that he was) could board the plane. Thank goodness my dad had faxed over a letter giving consent, to be transported by my mom, because my parents had anticipated this worst-case scenario. The guard let us pass, and we were (at last) on our way back to America.

Top Class Sundae

By CAROLINE ESTILL and MANSI VOHRA

PHOTO/PROVIDED

Everyone in Ithaca knows that since 1892, this town has been the birthplace of the ice cream sundae. What started as two ambitious men experimenting with a scoop of ice cream, syrup, and cherries became one of America’s quintessential desserts. In order to live up to our true Ithacan potential, we decided to create our own take on this favorite dessert—except in a classier fashion.

Ingredients: 1. Two scoops of Pumpkin Ice Cream 2. 1 portion (16 oz) of Cinnamon Chile Fudge Sauce 3. A bag of spicy candied pecans 4. ½ cup of blackberries, raspberries, and blueberries (the more, the berrier) 5. ¼ cup of semi-sweetened chocolate chips 6. ¼ cup of Dulce de Leche sauce 7. A can of whipped cream 8. A candied cherry In terms of ordering the ingredients, start with your ice cream as the foundation. Next, add the Dulce de Leche, and then the berries, chocolate chips, pecans, chile fudge sauce, and whipped cream. Finally, top it off with the candied cherry.

We hope this recipe adds to your summer flavor and appeals to your palettes! Bon appétit!

Top 10 Best Summer Activities

By KELSEY SHANG

If you’re the “glass is half full” type, studies have shown that you’re more likely reading this countdown first.

Just don’t get in the way of those who look like they could kill. They probably aren’t in the mood to listen to your wonderful summer memories.

10. Volunteering Someplace. It’s nice to contribute to society. There’s always something to do: help old people swallow medication, clean up after cats and dogs, chop onions at the Soup Kitchen, and much more. So what if it’s free labor, it’s the social gratification that counts.

9. Hanging Out in a Pool. No, not going to a pool to sunbathe— what’s the matter with you? Contrary to popular belief, submerging yourself in cool water is refreshing. Just don’t ruin the water as five-year old would or go to the kiddie pool.

8. Getting a Part-Time Job. Summer’s the time to be making some extra dough, whether it’s at a restaurant, Wegmans or a summer camp.

7. Going to GrassRoots.

GrassRoots is a music festival that you have to attend at least once in your lifetime. As a haven for hippies, music plays 24/7, people wander half-naked, and vendors sell everything from eco-burgers to frozen bananas. To see just what all the hype is about, you’ll have to go and find out for yourself.

6. Throwing Bonfires. Add together copious amounts of fire and a bunch of teenagers and you have an awesome party. Bonfires are perfect opportunities to roast marshmallows, tell ghost stories, and burn failed math exams.

5. Learning a New Skill. Finally, you listen to your father and learn a new skill. Sure, it can be useful, like changing tires, but that’s pretty boring. Learn something that separates you from a mechanic. How about oboe lessons, underwater breakdancing, or animal whispering?

4. Passing Your Road Test.

You remembered to check your blind spot, to park the car without hitting the curb, and to pull over without running over any children. Congratulations! Now, time to forget all necessary safety precautions.

3. Attending a Concert. If you thought of an orchestra concert, you’re a bit classier than the rest of us. A rock or pop concert is pure joy. It’s the only acceptable place to scream like little girls, headbang to the beat, and sing lyrics at the top of your lungs.

2. Traveling the World. The world is your oyster, and you are the diner with expensive taste. Experience culture shock wherever you step and eat cow-tongue sandwiches (which are pretty tasty if you can get over the texture). Reconsider vacationing in Lebanon or Syria.

1. Reliving Your Childhood Dreams. Yes, however vague this is, summer is the perfect time to relive your childhood dreams. Whether this means fitting as many gummy worms as possible into your mouth or building a lego replica of the Death Star, it is possible...as long as it’s legal.

The Johnson Column

By INGRID SYDENSTRICKER

L.A. Noire Combines Intellect and Action

By LEO WINTERS

PHOTO/PROVIDED

Carlos Garaicoa Cuban, born 1967 The Word Transformed, Part 1 (La palabra transformada, parte 1) (detail), 2009

La enmienda que hay en mí (Making Amends) presents the work of Cuban artist, Carlos Garaicoa, in a large solo exhibition currently displayed at the Johnson Art Museum. His art, always tying back to Cuba, tackles human rights, modernism, and lost socialist utopias. He presents strong, even angry critiques, yet underneath there is a lament, a longing for a lost cause.

Garaicoa uses many artistic media to convey his message. Many of the pieces are black and white photographs of Cuba with a somber, desolate feel: old state propaganda, empty billboards, sidewalks and forgotten buildings.

He plays with these images, adding his own prose and graphic elements.

On some photographs he has attached pins and needles (for both critique and utility) which are used to outline words, creating poetry. Sin Titulo (La Isla) [Untitled (The Island)] is a black and white image with an accompanying poem that reads (translated from Spanish): “The island burdened/The Island proclaimed continent/In her expired solipsism Panting despite herself.”

Sin Titulo (La Honrades) [Untitled (Integrity)] is a photograph of a sidewalk, with the words integrity printed in large letters. Garaicoa incorporates the sidewalk into the poem (translated): “Fear the Integrity You do not possess.”

Graphic designs have been added to other images, such as expansive, overwhelming billboards allowing for artistic expression rather than state propaganda. The World Transformed, Part 1 depicts old Havana with immense billboards with forceful red font stating “No no no no no no puedo seguer más”(I can’t go on).

In other works, Garaicoa mixes delicate beauty with repressive authority for the ironic Las joyas de la corona (The Crown Jewels). These are eight cast-silver models of international military, intelligence, and governmental sites such as the Pentagon, the KGB, East German Stasi, Cuba’s Villa Marista and Guantánamo Naval Base. The piece makes you wonder how something that represents conflict, torture, and oppression can be so beautiful and seemingly powerless?

Garaicoa’s work is a poignant look into Cuba, with messages that translate globally. His clean, simple lines and beautiful work create not only aesthetically pleasing pieces but those filled with strong critique. The comparison with the past, what is, and what could have been (Saving Time a modernist clock set to run backward) creates a timeless collection that is well worth your time to visit.

La enmienda que hay en mí is on display at the Johnson Museum until October 2nd Tuesday-Sunday 10AM-5PM Free Admission

In the new title from Rockstar Games, players will find a drastic role-change from shooting cops and running pedestrians over, like in the Grand Theft Auto series that made the game publishing/developing company so popular in the first place. Instead, in L.A. Noire you play a character almost the exact opposite of the cold-blooded criminals who made up the protagonists of Grand Theft Auto games: Cole Phelps, a perfect poster-boy police detective and former war hero who is constantly praised for the impressive number of “Japs” he offed.

The game stays true to its name, immersing you in an effective noir-thriller atmosphere as detective Phelps uncovers the crime and filth which lies underneath the innocent cover of the American Dream. You maneuver your way around seedy 1940’s Los Angeles in a pinstripe suit and bowler hat (which seems to have been the fashion back then) with a partner who varies several times over the course of the game, investigating gruesome murders and crimes.

Rather than focusing on actual, physical crime-fighting, the game is more about collecting evidence, questioning suspects and witnesses, and other brain-teasers. But don’t get me wrong: there’s a fair share of rooftop- and carchases, as well as shootouts, in the game; they just aren’t nearly as frequent as in the action-packed GTA series, and even though they’re plenty of fun, it’s the story, characters, and detective work which really make the game succeed.

Another strong point of the game is its incredible voice acting. The character’s movements and facial expressions, along with the detailed, atmospheric city as the backdrop, make playing the game feel like you’re watching actors on the silver screen. In fact, the game actually uses a “cast” to act out the characters’ expressions and motion in front of a green screen, so if you think detective Cole Phelps looks at all familiar, that’s because he’s “played” by Aaron Staton, who also played Ken Cosgrove in the television show “Mad Men.” So, all in all, L.A. Noire is a video game which triumphs for its innovation in storytelling and graphics, without getting rid of the action we have come to expect from Rockstar Games.

Case Histories: Bloody, Page-Turning Mysteries

By MANSI VOHRA

In choosing a book to read over the summer holidays, a good choice would be Case Histories by Kate Atkinson.

This book, in all of its detailed crime cases, leaves the reader emotionally captivated and enthralled as each page turns. The novel deals with three main murder/crime cases that take place in and around Cambridge from the 1970s to the early 1990s.

The first case deals with the disappearance of a beloved Olivia Land, who goes missing in the dead of night and is nowhere to be found by her sisters in the morning. Case Two deals with a father, Theo Wyre, who puts all of his heart and soul into protecting his daughter, Laura, only to find her murdered in his law firm one morning. The next and final case is perhaps the most surprising: it regards a housewife and dreamer, Michelle Rose Fletcher, who could not have asked for a worse way to live her life. Having wound up with only a high school education, a whining baby, and a good-for-nothing husband, Michelle takes her anger out in the most wrong way possible: by chopping off her husband’s head with an axe.

All of these cases subsequently lead to the entry of Private Detective Jackson Brodie, who, to his best ability, analyzes all three cases in order to solve the crimes. Brodie learns that each case comes with that family’s grief, fear, and longing for answers. Each family, in turn, also learns that they can never escape their past, as seen through the startling evidence the Lands find regarding their littlest daughter 34 years after she went missing.

Though Kate Atkinson leaves the pages marked with plenty of blood, all cases are eventually solved. Read the book in order to know the outcome of all three of them!

A&

11

September 7, 2011

An Unbelievable Finale: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

By ANNELISE RAYMOND

PHOTO/PROVIDED

With stunning views, a clear effort to stick to the book, and superhero-like fight scenes, the final movie in the Harry Potter series left me with mixed feelings. As a diehard Harry Potter fan, I was impressed at the effort director David Yates made to stick to the plot, but embarrassed for Harry’s reputation when characters made unlikely last-minute saves that were not believable or realistic, making it appear as though Harry survived through pure luck. I would have preferred that the scenes had not been changed in such a way.

That’s not to say that the film wasn’t good, it was full of emotion and suspense.

Some scenes were exactly as I’d imagined them, while others were shortened for the film. Scenes unessential to the main plot were cut down to 15-second snapshots, which means that viewers would be completely lost unless they’ve read the book.

As with the last few movies, the characters’ physical appearances were a disappointment. Considering the salary these actors are earning, I would have thought they’d have to endure color contacts and hair dye but no: Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) sported sleek brown hair, Lily Potter (Geraldine Somerville)’s eyes were dark brown, and George (Oliver Phelps)’s ear magically reappeared after having been blown off in the last movie.

There were also some inconsistencies, especially regarding Hogwarts School and Gringotts Bank. Although the UK’s mountain scenery is magnificent, perching Hogwarts on a mountain does not fit with the topography of previous films.

Similarly, Gringotts Bank, which in past movies resembled a coal mine shaft, became a complex underground system with twisting tracks and huge ravines.

The dramatic fight scenes that took up approximately a third of the running mov-

ie time were overly exaggerated and didn’t match the book at all. *SPOILER* I was embarrassed, as an HP fan, when the Order of the Phoenix came in the door of the Great Hall after Snape’s speech, poised like a superhero clan come to the rescue and when Harry engaged in a wrestling match with Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) near the end of the movie (I assure you, reader who has not read Harry Potter, this does not happen in the book). I was astounded when McGonagall (Maggie Smith) sent the Slytherins to the dungeons — it appeared as though she was punishing them.

The moviemakers did their best to include all scenes from the novel that are essential to the plot, and kept some good quotes from JK Rowling’s book, such as Dumbledore: “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real? (723)” However, many of my favorite lines were left out, which was a disappointment.

I also caught some bloopers, such as *SPOILER* when Harry broke the elder wand in two near the end of the film, he forgot to repair his proper wand first. And although the “19 years later” section is sweet, if one were to figure out the dates from the Potters’ gravestones (“Deathly Hallows: Part 1”), they would discover that Harry was born in 1980; he’s 17 in Movie #7, so that’s 1997; and 19 years after that is 2016. Alas, this date is as yet before us; and there goes a tiny bit of authenticity, as Rowling can’t possibly tell the story of Albus Potter (Arthur Bowen) entering Hogwarts when he’s only 6 years old today.

I found that the 3D movie was not that impressive, although it is disgusting to have dead people’s ashes flying straight at you.

Overall, I was impressed with the final movie in the “Harry Potter” series — a result of low expectations going in and a clear effort on Warner Bros.’ part to follow the book. Despite my quibbles, this movie is a must-see. Film: 2.5 hours. Rated PG-13.

Trainspotting:

Valleyview Photography

A Smutty Yet Satisfying Summer Read

By LEO WINTERS

Every summer, I take it upon myself to read and finish one novel before school starts up again, and my reading schedule once again consists of mind-numbing Shakespeare prose and novels about oppressed women in foreign countries. Looking for something different, I decided to read Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh, a Scottish author notorious for his no holds barred, often grotesque writing, which is always about very dark subject matter. Unfortunately for me, the only version of the book still being printed is the one with the film-based cover, which I can’t stand, because if you’ve ever seen a movie and then read the book it was based off of, you know the pain of trying not to pair a character with the actor who played them.

Skimming through Trainspotting’s first page alone is enough to put many readers off, as you can quickly tell that the novel is written in a thick Scottish accent which takes a while to get used to. An excerpt from the first page: “Aw, ah sais. Ah wanted the radge tae jist fuck off ootay ma visage, tae go oan his ain, n jist leave us wi Jean-Claude...” The writing is as difficult to decipher as any Shakespeare play, but by sticking with it, I was rewarded with a story that more than lived up to my high expectations of Mr. Welsh, and reminded me of just how enjoyable fiction can be when it is left untamed.

In a voice that is both depraved and unexpectedly philosophical, Trainspotting tells the story of a group of young Scottish heroin junkies. Each chapter, the story switches between a core group of character narrators without saying who is narrating, leaving you guessing who it is

or waiting for someone in the story to address the narrator. However, all characters aside, it is evident that Mark Renton is the novel’s main protagonist and the antihero of the story. Renton, referred to by his friends as “Rents” or “Rent Boy,” is as much of a hapless drug addict as the rest of the crew he hangs out with—however, his character is delved into much deeper than the others, narrated by a more intelligent, cynical voice. Renton makes several attempts to kick his heroin habit over the course of the book, all of which fail when he succumbs to withdrawal symptoms from the drug.

But in general, the novel plays out like a bunch of miscellaneous and nonlinear short stories in which the characters constantly shoot up heroin, pick up underage girls, search for day jobs, get in bar fights with skinheads, shoot dogs with air rifles, go pub crawling, and pass around the AIDS virus like it’s a Frisbee.

All of this ridiculous filth is told with an air of dark humor, and through the fractured, sympathy-inspiring voice of Renton, the writing can at times make the most perverse moments of the book also touching in an odd sort of way.

So I will be frank, and say that you will enjoy this novel if: 1. You will be able to decipher a story from the thick Scottish dialect and slang, and 2. You have a strong stomach, because there are a considerable number of things described in this book that I’m probably not able to talk about in this article without risking getting exiled from the IHS community, if that says anything. However, I am by no means trying to turn you off to the novel: it is a great read, and if you fit the criteria, I can guarantee that you will enjoy it as much as I did.

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Ultimate:

Frisbees Not Just For the Park

IHS Rowers Compete in Canadian Henley Regatta

By JOON PARK

PHOTO/PROVIDED

You’re probably used to seeing these in your back yard in the hands of your little brother or at a park being chased by a dog. Affectionately called “frisbees,” these discs are an iconic image for light recreation. But the disc has a flip side: the fast-paced and intense sport of Ultimate.

Ultimate is played in numerous levels around the country, predominately collegiate. The game is described as a combination of the non-stop endurance of soccer and aerial passing skills of football. It is played by two teams of seven players and requires strategy, skill and spirit.

Most don’t take Ultimate as a serious sport, perhaps because the image of a disc is so well associated with recreational pastime. However, most have never witnessed a game of Ultimate. It is as intense and athletically challenging as a sport can be.

In an average game of Ultimate, it is not unusual to see people sprinting at top speeds to catch a thrown disc. Players jump to ridiculous heights to “sky” an opponent. They throw themselves at the disc to intercept a pass.

Others still argue that Ultimate is a game anybody can play. They say you can just pick up a disc and play, no skill required. This is a misconception.

While it’s easy to start learning due to the lack of extended equipment, the sport requires skill: anybody can throw a backhand, but can you throw a flick? a hammer? It requires speed: whether you’re running for the disc that’s in the air or running with your defender, you will undoubtedly be sprinting at your highest speeds. It requires stamina: the game proceeds continuously, with quick turnovers that can sometimes win or lose the game. It requires strategy: a team will not win without being able to employ and recognize zone defenses and offensive stacks.

Most importantly, it requires spirit. The sport is based around The Spirit of the Game which encourages players to act fairly and courteously to other players while participating. It frowns upon the “win at all costs” attitude while maintaining the fun and enjoyment of the sport. In a game of Ultimate, you will rarely see a referee. This is because all foul calls are made by the players themselves. Whether it’s a highly competitive tournament or a local pick-up game, The Spirit of the Game always makes sure that the games are fair and fun.

Some may believe that a sport without a referee surely cannot have tournaments and leagues.

They’re also wrong. The organization of USA Ultimate hosts College, Club, and Youth Divisions of tournaments every year. The World Flying Disc Federation (WFDF) even holds world championship games! Locally, the Ithaca Area Ultimate Alliance (IAUA) is a thriving community of Ultimate players from around the city that constantly plays pick-up games of Ultimate, all year round despite the infamous Ithaca weather conditions. IAUA holds a Beginner, Summer Recreational, and Draft League for players who are looking for some Ultimate action.

Whether you’re a football fanatic, a soccer amateur or even someone who’s never been on a sports team before, you should check out Ultimate. You’ll never look at that Frisbee in your backyard the same way ever again.

If you’re interested in playing Ultimate at IHS, join the Ultimate Frisbee Club. We meet Tuesdays and Thursdays after school to play. Contact our adviser, Mr. Mellander, for more information.

By ALISSA PURE and MOLLY PRITZ

Cascadilla Boat Club (CBC), home of the local rowing team, sent 15 scholastic rowers, including IHS students, to compete in ten events at the 129th Royal Canadian Henley Regatta in St. Catherines, Ontario in August.

Rowers from CBC camped at Henley Island for a week and were able to work on team-building within the club as well as with people from other teams.

“It was a week-long experience of great rowing and we saw many people to aspire to be like,” said Jon Liebherr ‘12.

The week included fireworks, fro-yo, games, going to the beach, and cheering on teammates.

Over 3,000 competitors—not only from Canada but from across the world—competed at the 2011 Canadian Henley, the largest regatta

write

in North America. St. Catharine’s Rowing Club (SCRC) was the host for the 1970 and 1999 World Rowing Championships.

“It was a whole new experience to wake up on the regatta site and hear coxswains yelling in different languages,” said co-captain of the Girls Varsity team Alissa Pure ‘12.

IHS rowers also competed in St. Catherine’s Invitational and helped with the annual summer “Learn to Row,” an introductory rowing program which teaches technique and water safety.

CBC is hoping to build off the summer season for the upcoming fall season, which includes the competitive Head of the Fish Regatta in Saratoga Springs, NY. In the winter, rowers continue to train: running, lifting weights, and using Cornell tanks. Crew is a year round sport and a full-time commitment, but entirely worth it.

email editor@ihstattler.com

13

September 7, 2011

Wimbledon: Tennis Excitement and Excellence Since 1877

PHOTO/PROVIDED

surface of the courts, since it is the only grand slam tournament that has kept grass courts.

Players are expected to wear white or mostly white clothing and if the Queen is in the audience, the players have to bow to show their respect. Although not required, the spectators generally enjoy a snack of strawberries and crème while watching the first-class tennis played before them.

A less-enforced tradition is that there should be no play on “Middle Sunday,” which, as suggested, means players have a day of rest on the middle Sunday of the tournament.

This year’s WimbleNovak Djokovic celebrates his victory at Wimbledon. don was particularly exciting. Serbian Novak

By ALEKSA BASARA Djokovic, 24, continued his unbelievable season. Having already won seven titles in 2011 (only beaten once this year at the Roland Garros semi-finals by Wimbledon is a word that people hear many times throughout June, refer- Roger Federer), he dethroned last year’s champion, Rafael Nadal, to win his ring to the oldest tennis tournament in history. Since 1877, from the end of eighth tournament. He also became the 25th player since 1974 to reach the #1 June to the beginning of July, the world’s best tennis players gather to com- ranking. On the women’s side, Petra Kvitova of the Czech Republic beat Maria pete. Even today, many consider Wimbledon the oldest and most prestigious Sharapova in the finals. grand slam to win.

The winner of both singles events received just over $US1.5 million. The At first, men’s singles was the only event, played at the All England Lawn runner-ups received about half that amount. The losses of home-favorite Tennis and Croquet Club in London. In 1884, ladies’ singles and gentlemen’s Andy Murray and all-time great Roger Federer were big public dissappointdoubles were added. In 1913, ladies’ doubles and mixed doubles were added ments. American tennis superstar Serena Williams was looking to defend her to form the five major events. Until 1922, to win, a challenger had to work title from last year, but fell short of talent in the round of 16. their way up to and win the final match against the reigning champion.

Next year, London will be hosting the Olympic tennis competition which is Wimbledon is known for its traditions. Perhaps the biggest one of all is the sure to add to the excitement at Wimbledon. Until next summer!

14

September 7, 2011

Women’s World Cup: An International Perspective

By JULIE ERICKSON

PHOTO/PROVIDED

“I think it was a very exciting match; The Women’s World two goals in exCup is a relatively new tra time is very but internationally abnormal,”said Elias, known event. The first 14, from Norway. “I event was hosted by thought it was great China in 1991, and that Japan won beevery four years since cause of all that have then, it’s been a popuhappened there and lar sporting event for the fact that they thousands of spectawere great undertors. In 1999, a total of dogs. Japan doesn’t 90,185 fans crowded have any very big the Rose Bowl for the and strong players, final match, hosted but they work twice by the U.S., breaking as hard as any other the world record for team. I think it was number of spectators very weird that the at a women’s sporting U.S. missed three event. Compared to out of four penalthe U.S. men’s team, ties. Japan never gave the women’s team has up and made it back boasted a very sucfrom laying under cessful history, staying twice.” within the top three German Aline, 16, teams every year. who plays soccer said, Over the years, the “Well, I think that the event has grown from two teams were at the 12 teams in 1991 to 24 The Japenese team won their first World Cup this year. same level. To win in the upcoming 2015 in the penalty shoots Canada World Cup. The U.S. hosted sixteen teams in both 1999 and 2003. isn’t the result of a very good soccer team. I think the Japanese had more luck This summer was the 2011 Women’s Soccer World Cup. The defending and that’s the reason why they won.” champion, Germany, was hosting this year, with stadiums in Augsburg, Berlin, Although many American soccer fans watched the games intently over the Dresden, Frankfurt, and five other locations.The US-Japan final took place at summer (including the Obama family), there were some who were a little less the stadium in Frankfurt. It seemed that, even though Japan was making it far informed. A Cornell student, when asked about the World Cup said, “Wait. in the tournament, the U.S. would surely win, already having two previous gold What World Cup? I thought only Europeans played in that.” medals and three bronzes. It was 1:1 during regulation time and then 2:2 after In the future, the event will definitely become better known around the double overtime. It would come down to penalty kicks. The U.S. missed their world as more teams participate and more stories of the hard-earned wins and first three, which meant that the Japanese, with three goals out of five, were the agonizing losses are added to the recent Women’s World Cup history. winners. It was the first World Cup win for Japan and a great moment for their In four years Canada will be the host, with an increase to 52 games due to country. more teams. Canada, who won fourth place in the 2003 World Cup, will probThe international perspective on the match was varied. Europeans seemed ably be looking forward to an opportunity to show the world its power and skill mostly happy with the results of the 2011 final match. on home turf.

Wacky Sport: Shout for Kabbadi

By GREG CHU

Have you ever known someone who just keeps on talking and talking to no end? If so, there’s a sport for them.

Kabbadi is a unique game which requires players to simultaneously run, dodge and continually shout. It is also a simple game, requiring only the ground and participants. Games last 45 minutes, broken down into two 20-minute periods with a 5-minute break.

In each game there are two teams: Defenders and Raiders.

Raiders have to tag a Defender while running back to their own side. The Defender then has to tackle the Raider before he makes it to his own side. If the Raider desires, he could tag more than one Defender, although that means he would have two Defenders trying to tackle him. If the Raider makes it back, his team earns a point per person tagged. If the Raider doesn’t make it back, the defending team gets one point.

After a raid is completed, the teams switch roles. If the other team fails to send a Raider within five seconds, the other team gets the point. At the end, the team with the most points wins.

The most unique aspect of Kabbadi is that Raiders are not allowed to breathe during the raid. To enforce the rule, the Raiders must repeatedly shout the phrase “kabbadi,” hence the name of the sport. If the Raider fails to shout the chant, the Defenders gets a point.

The chant combined with the fast-paced action of the sport requires players to have excellent physical strength and endurance.

Rounds tend to be quick, as Raiders are limited by their lung capacity, so each team has to send Raiders in quick succession.

Interesting as it may be, Kabbadi has had limited appeal outside of South Asia. The sport wasn’t even internationally recognized until the 1936 Berlin Olympics, even though it was created thousands of years ago. Nevertheless, if you feel like shouting for some reason, why not invite some friends over for a game of Kabbadi?

love writing? can’t stop taking photos?

Apply today to be a staff writer or staff photographer! email editor@ihstattler.com for more information

Quiz: What Club To Choose?

By ANNELISE RAYMOND and NAOMI RAYMOND 1) What would be the perfect way to spend a summer day with a friend? a. Bake cupcakes and frost them, then go shopping at the boutiques on the Commons b. Make up a water-themed obstacle course in your backyard, timing who can complete it the fastest c. Freeze-dance to your favorite CD and belt the lyrics — whether you know them or not d. Play the board game “Fact or Crap” on the deck while enjoying a nice glass of lemonade e. Have a sleepover, and make up a story by going around the circle and each person adding one word 2) Your cousins are visiting from China, and because of high shipping costs for holiday presents your family is celebrating Christmas in July! What’s your favorite part of the festivities? a. Watching them read the poem you tried to write in your newly-learned Chinese character handwriting b. Giving your cousins piggyback rides through the sprinkler while Christmas music blares c. Loudly singing holiday lyrics on the street while your neighbors give you weird looks d. Playing “Smartypants” (Wii trivia game) on TV with the whole family split up on teams — the fans are all running, yet you all have a cup of hot cocoa and are wearing Santa hats e. Sitting with your cousins and listening to Gramps read “The Night Before Christmas” in a hammock — a strange twist on this tradition 3) What would be your preferred use for a cardboard box found in your driveway? a. Eat it b. Sit in the box, ask your mom to close it up, and tumble around the room c. Cut holes in the shape of a robot’s face and go around talking like a robot d. Cut out a square in the center to create a TV — put it over your head, and you have your own sta-

tion! e. Cut it up and paint it — it’s the perfect cover for that homemade journal!

4) Which comic strip is your favorite? a. The Wizard of Id b. Peanuts c. The Family Circus d. The crossword puzzles are much better than the comics... everyone knows that e. Calvin and Hobbes 5) You have an afternoon to spend at your house, and nothing to do. How do you occupy your time? a. Try to carry on a conversation in a different language with your family members in preparation for your trip to Europe b. Walk your dog c. Play mindless computer games while listening to your Pandora radio station d. Watch old episodes of Jeopardy on YouTube e. Read a book 6) You’re hosting a summer party. What theme do you choose? a. A formal tea party theme, complete with scones and China teacups b. Lawn games, such as volleyball, croquet, and tag c. Karaoke party! Play JustDance on Wii and sing your favorite Wicked songs! d. Board game night! Play Boggle, Worst Case Scenario Survival Game, and Take-Off late into the night e. Have a book club with your friends — analyze Harry Potter in your clubhouse, enjoying watermelon and iced tea 7) What type of posters are hung up in your room? a. Posters of foreign places you’ve always wanted to visit b. Medals you’ve won from your sports competitions

Insert Puzzles, riddles, trivia, submitted works, and whatever else you or I want.

1. You happen to know a nice king with one hundred daughters, one of whom you are allowed to marry. He’ll send the princesses out to meet you one by one and they’ll tell you their dowry. Once you hear the dowry, you must immediately choose to marry the princess then and there or move on to the next girl; you may not go back and marry a princess you have already passed up. All the women have different dowries, and because the king is a little insane he’s going to kill you if you don’t choose the princess with the highest one. What strategy should you employ to maximize your chance of staying alive?

2. Three men walk into a hotel and decide to evenly split the cost of a one-night, $30 room. A few hours after they walk in, the hotel’s manager realizes that the room costs $25, not $30, and gives $5 to one of his employees to hand back to the men.

This employee takes $2 for himself and gives $1 to each of the men. Each man has now paid $9 (which adds up to $27). The employee has $2...but that only adds to $29!

What happened to the other dollar?

3. You are standing on the bottom floor of a four-story building, which has three new 100-watt light bulbs in the attic. The switches to activate those bulbs are located on your floor. Your job is to find out which switch corresponds to which light bulb.

You may manipulate the switches however you like for up to five minutes, but may not leave from or damage the building in any way. You are allowed only one trip up to the attic. How can you deduce the relationships between the switches and the bulbs?

Solutions provided in next month’s issue.

c. Movie posters and headshots of your favorite pop stars d. Posters of famous historical figures and ancient maps of the world e. Posters you made yourself at school 8) Which famous person would you most want to meet? a. Marie Antoinette b. Jesse Owens c. John Lennon d. Benjamin Franklin e. Rita Skeeter 9) Which contest is it your secret ambition to compete in? a. Survivor b. The Olympics c. American Idol d. Jeopardy e. The National Spelling Bee Which letter did you get the most? a. Join French Club! Make club t-shirts, play French games, and enjoy crêpes made with our own crêpe-maker! Learn about French culture and have fun. Mondays after school. Adviser: Mme Bowman.

K101. b. Join Ultimate Frisbee Club! Play on a team with Mr. Mellander! Get together with your friends for a game after school. Tuesdays and Thursdays. Adviser: Mr Mellander. Outside. c. Join A Cappella Club! Sing fun songs for any voice range. A great time for all! Before school; listen for announcements. Adviser: likely Mr Lesser. d. Join Brain Team! Test your knowledge of random facts in a Jeopardy-like environment, and take part in competitions. IHS has a great team that wins many awards. Mondays after school. Adviser: Mr Kirk. e. Write for the IHS award-winning school newspaper — the Tattler! Choose any article topic you wish, and see your name in print! Be the first to find out the latest school news. Mondays after school; listen for announcements. Adviser: Ms Lynn. E25.

Sudoku Solution

Horoscopes Virgo (August 23 to September 22): Chances are you’ve never met someone who survived a throw off a cliff by a hungry bear. Ever thought about why? Watch your back, and don’t carry around any honey.

Libra (September 23 to October 23): You know that girl you’ve had a crush on since middle school? Sorry, but you still only have one class with her.

Scorpio (October 24 to November 22): Someone you thought was a new friend turns out to only hang out with you for your homework answers. Take heart, though, because the joke isn’t on you; unbeknownst to them you’re a complete idiot. Haha!

Sagittarius (November 23 to December 21): You’ll find you were giving school a lot more dread than it deserved. Substantial cash bribes are all that’s needed to succeed in life, or on the report card.

Capricorn (December 22 to January 19): The stars tell me only that you need beware of elephants. I’m not sure quite what it means, but you’re probably screwed.

Aquarius (January 20 to February 19): What’s this, school doesn’t start at 11 AM? Your sleep schedule will need some major adjustments. If you think about it, though, you’d save a lot of work by just keeping your present hours until next summer comes around.

Pisces (February 20 to March 20): Wait, there are twelve little thingies on the Zodiac-majigger? Oops, I guess I forgot about you. Uh…the Heavens tell me your birthday is coming up in about five or six months?

Aries (March 21 to April 19): Some time this month you’ll discover what you think is a remarkable truth only to find out that it’s well-known to all the rest of the human race. Try not to be

too vocal when you’re having epiphanies.

Taurus (April 20 to May 20): The US debt crisis will affect you in a way that no one, including you, could have expected. Be prepared for a ride as wild, ridiculous, and irrational as America’s money-borrowing policies.

Gemini (May 21 to June 20): Ever considered starting up a gum-selling business? The world could be at your feet, if only you tried harder.

Cancer (June 21 to July 22): Are you sure you’re not the guy who wrote to Martha’s Superb Hollywood Advice Machine? Sorry, but I don’t give freebies out. You get one mention on the back page per month. Period. That’s what I end all my sentences with. Or maybe that’s prepositions? Dunno.

Leo (July 23 to August 22): Dictatorships are so demodée; don’t get caught in one.

Martha’s Superb Hollywood Advice Machine “The supreme blend of advice, perfectly combining paranoia, scientology, and utter insanity.” – Time Magazine Let me start off with a bit about myself. My name’s Martha, and until recently I worked as a marriage counselor for Hollywood couples. As a trained professional, I think you’ll find I’m quite good at what I do, which is giving advice. I think. Anyway, I moved to Ithaca towards the beginning of the summer.

While it’s not much, this column is enjoyable to write and it’s a pleasure to work with that handsome young backpage editor.

Dear Martha, My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and we’re now both going into our junior year at IHS. Recently she’s been getting distant and jumpy, and seems very snappy whenever I bring up our anniversary. What gives?

- Bewildered and Hurt Dear Cuckolded and Betrayed, As I usually do when asked for advice, I first went out to Target and checked out the front-cover headlines on the checkout lane magazines. I’m sure all the other columnists do too, since it’s a big help. The divine stories so deeply corresponded to your situation that even I was surprised. Titles like “Angie’s getting cold feet about Brad!”, “Selena can’t Bie-BEAR her BF!” and “Ka-

tie admits to sleeping with Tom’s Best Man!” stared out at me from all around and made it completely clear. I’m sorry to tell you this, but your girlfriend is falling for a werewolf.

Your girlfriend is also seeing someone on the side. She probably has been for at least 18 months, which by my math is about 45% of the time you’ve been together. Do you know Arnold Schwarzenegger well? If so, I’m pretty sure it’s him. Even if you don’t, track both his and your girl’s movements carefully; you never know. It’s also possible she’s tangled up with one of your close friends. If you can verify that she is entirely faithful, my only other idea is that she returned your abhorrent birthday gift to the store and is now feeling guilty. Face it, that necklace was downright terrible. If she couldn’t tell you the truth about the necklace, why should you think she’s telling you the truth now?

The correct response is clear; you have to take the initiative.

Invite her over to your house one day, alone, and when she gets there lock all the doors and windows. Then casually ask her why she slept with both your best friends. She likely didn’t, but the question will throw her off guard. Once she’s stuttering, making excuses, shout at her that you want to know the truth. She may break down crying, but don’t let that façade fool you. Get the real story out of her and then kick her onto the curb. Make a detailed Facebook post about the entire incident and watch as your popularity soars to new heights.

All the Best, Martha

Summer Vacation

2012

Colored Chalk

Hawaiian shirts

Tans

Free periods

Jumping into a pile of leaves Think Geek

New parking lot

9 am meetings

Squishy bananas Like what you see?

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Drop off your stuff at: backpage@ihstattler.com

Solution on page 15!

I can tell you from experience that putting this off to the last minute isn’t a good idea.

At least thirty states have threatened me with jail time if I ever talk about the last guy who sent me an email past my deadline.

Common App

3-D Movies

Fall