September 10, 2013 • Estd. 1892 • Vol. 121 #6 • Published Monthly • www.ihstattler.com Ithaca High School, 1401 N. Cayuga St, Ithaca, NY 14850 • FREE
The EduStat Conference PHOTO: PROVIDED
Dr. Luvelle Brown gave the opening speech to this year’s EduStat Conference.
By ARYEH ZAX
On July 29 and 30, educators from across the United States came to IHS for the EduStat Conference, a conference centered around continuing to provide excellent education in a changing world. I sat down with ICSD superintendent Luvelle Brown to go over the major points. Aryeh Zax ’14: How were we fortunate enough to organize this great conference, which, among other things, had several teachers of the year in attendance? Dr. Luvelle Brown: The ICSD is being referred to as an innovative and thought-leading educational organization. Many of the cultural and instructional shifts that have occurred in
recent years are generating much interest and admiration from educators throughout the nation. From a position of leadership, it is important for the ICSD to continue its forward thinking, but also inform the work of others as well. The past two summers, the ICSD has hosted a summer professional development institute and invited colleagues from New York State and around the country. Continued on Page 5.
Special: So You Want to Be a High Schooler: A Freshman’s Guide Pages 10–11
2
September 10, 2013
OPINION
Editorial It’s Not Quite the Caste System A recent change in ICSD policy has upset a number of people. As of this year, IHS students may not change the courses they signed up for or drop any classes that they need for credit during the year. The new policy doesn’t prohibit dropping, changing, or adding electives, and only extends to classes students need to graduate. The option to add more classes is still available, but how often do kids go out of their way for more school? The shift in policy has left many perturbed, who claim that they can’t stand their class load, or that they didn’t know they wouldn’t be able to change. However, it’s not quite the absolute rigidity of the Hindu caste system, so they might just have to deal with it this year. Many students aren’t very happy with the idea of not being able to drop or change classes should they so desire, which is perfectly understandable. Say you sign up for a full day of classes with no lunch, then realize early on that you won’t be able to handle the workload. Wouldn’t it be fair for you to have the option to drop a class and lighten your load? As another example, imagine that you’ve signed up for a class such as AP Statistics, which serves as one of your three required math credits. At the start of the year, your teacher tells you that you’d better have a love of math, a solid grasp of many mathematical concepts, good writing skills, the ability to do a backflip, and wings (no joke, you need all of that). Because you don’t have any of that, you freak out and want to drop Stats as soon as possible. This year, however, you’re told that dropping isn’t allowed and you’re trapped in a class all year that you’re totally going to fail and Mom and Dad will be so pissed and oh em gee! Shouldn’t students who picked a class above their level be allowed to drop it, should they need to? And that’s what bothers so many people: why can’t someone cut me some slack if I’m having trouble? The simple answer is because it was your choice. The classes that you signed up for last year—the ones you need to graduate—are the ones you must live with. All those electives you may have signed up
for could be gone with a teary speech to your guidance counselor and two clicks. But for freshmen, sophomores, and juniors, whose schedules are mostly core classes, the situation is trickier. Although some students may find themselves buried under mounds of classwork because of their course selections, the issue has to be looked at from the perspective of management, not that of little Johnny who just wants to drop Pre-Calc because he doesn’t have a free period. Say a principal looks at what classes students have requested and places them all according to their hearts’ desire. Now he realizes that he needs twenty new teachers to cover classes. Because it is within his budget and he so chooses, he hires twenty new teachers. September rolls around, and all of a sudden, kids are dropping and changing classes all over the place. When the dust settles, fifteen of the newly hired twenty are now superfluous staff. The principal can’t just fire the staff, so they remain, maybe teaching something else until the year ends. This scenario is essentially what happened at the start of last year, and could be the cause of some teachers not being rehired for the 2013–2014 school year. Continued on Page 6. The Tattler is the student-run newspaper of Ithaca High School. It was founded in 1892 and is published monthly.
As an open forum, The Tattler invites opinion piece submissions and letters to the editor from all community members. Drop off submissions in E25 or e-mail them to: editor@ihstattler.com Mail letters to:
2013–2014 Editor-in-Chief
Rubin Danberg-Biggs ’14 editor@ihstattler.com
News Editor
Rex Lei ’14
news@ihstattler.com
Opinion Editor
Elie Kirshner ’14 opinion@ihstattler.com
Features Editor
Jensen Lo ’14
features@ihstattler.com
Arts and Entertainment Editor
Emily Scarpulla ’14 arts@ihstattler.com
Sports Editor
Chris Skawski ’14 sports@ihstattler.com
Penultimate and Back Page Editor
Conor Coutts ’15 backpage@ihstattler.com
Copy Editor
Aryeh Zax ’14 copy@ihstattler.com
Photography Editors
Audrey Kan ’14 Naomi Powers ’14 photo@ihstattler.com
Layout Editor
Owen Zhang ’15 layout@ihstattler.com
Business Manager
Aleksa Basara ’14 business@ihstattler.com
Advertising Manager
Tracy Lai ’14 ads@ihstattler.com
Webmaster
Julian Eng ’14 web@ihstattler.com
Distribution Managers
The IHS Tattler 1401 N. Cayuga St. Ithaca, NY 14850
Carrie D’Aprix ’15 Steven Stover ’15
The Tattler reserves the right to edit all submissions. Submissions do not necessarily reflect the views of editorial staff.
Deborah Lynn
distribution@ihstattler.com
Faculty Advisor
advisor@ihstattler.com
3
September 10, 2013
OPINION
Editorial Ten Simple Ways to Sabotage Your College Chances As a high school student, you have likely done at least a little thinking about your college application. You probably want your college application to show admissions counselors who you are as a person and highlight your strong suits. Understandably, if you make or have made any of the mistakes described below, you are going to have a much more difficult time and may end up eliminating your college chances entirely. Luckily, no matter where you are in your high school career, you can probably fix and certainly avoid these unnecessary detriments to your application. Ranging from understandable to blatantly idiotic, any of these ten errors are sure to make a college admissions counselor cringe. So stop being your own worst enemy, and fear the following: 1. Having that picture too many Ithacans have online and an obnoxious social networking account You know the one I’m talking about, the one in which your face is barely visible beneath the plume of smoke, or the one with a cigarette or beer held to your mouth. These pictures not only represent an attribute colleges are looking to avoid (I dare you to find a school that desires “frequently intoxicated” applicants)—they convey even more about you: Colleges now know that you either don’t care that they are aware you spend Friday nights with your head in the toilet, or they may think that you’re just too naïve to understand how easy it is for them to find those résumé makers. 2. Obtaining a criminal record One of the best ways to ensure that your application is headed straight for the shredder is to have a rap sheet included with it. Whether it’s assault, driving under the influence of glue, or drug use, no matter what you’ve been up to, anything that could land you a ride in a squad car won’t play well with an admissions officer. 3. Bombing your college visit Now, this is not referring to having a mediocre interview or awkward interaction with someone on campus. Those of us who have been on college tours or attended information sessions have probably seen those fellow teens who are either being dragged around by their parents as they complain, or enter the process with an obnoxious attitude, usually accompanied by a sense of entitlement (this second mistake is common of parents as well). At the end of the day, going on a college visit is a little like being a foreign diplomat, and if you’re acting like a jerk or just disinterested, no one will want to do business with you. 4. Asking the wrong teachers for recommendations, or the right ones too late
Nothing makes you sound more appealing to colleges than a sarcastic recommendation from a teacher whom you asked two days before the deadline. And this goes without saying, but if a teacher has “mixed” feelings about you, even if you received a good grade in that class, it may be a surefire way to sabotage your application. 5. Writing a controversial or self-adoring essay Expressing yourself in an essay is good, as is being honest if something is really important to you. Political advocacy and controversial personal vendettas, on the other hand, don’t only make for dull and fixated essays; they may also alienate your valuable reader entirely. Narcissistic essays, which merely make a shopping list of your classes and extracurricular activities without description, are not only unpleasant to read—they only restate what is previously mentioned in your application. For example, an excerpt from Phil’s essay: “Well, I just don’t know how I do it: four APs, and I still manage to excel in Call of Duty online and in local hot dog–eating contests.” 6. Public membership to controversial/hate groups Now, you are of course free to believe and be a member of any group you want, but just be aware of the potential consequences. For example, even though Phil is a genius and a fantastic athlete (despite the hot dogs), his membership to the KKK Juniors is going to be a real sticking point for admissions officers at any university he applies to. Colleges throughout the United States are trying to make their campuses more open and accepting. So if the overwhelming immorality of most hate groups isn’t enough to drive you away, think twice about your membership for the sake of your college chances. Phil represents an extreme example, but more applicable to most of us is the realization that it is probably best to avoid expressing support for any extreme views in your application. An extreme group or view—no matter how right or wrong—that plays well with one admissions officer may disgust another, no matter where you’re applying. 7. Blowing off your guidance counselor Another foolproof way to destroy your college chances is to ignore your guidance counselors, or ever act disrespectfully towards them. Guidance counselors actually play a huge role in the admissions process, and rate you on a number of key personal and academic attributes along with writing a letter. A guidance counselor saying “Phil has really nice glasses” in her letter because she’s seen him for twenty minutes over the course of his high school career isn’t going to do him much good when it comes to admissions. Continued on Page 7.
4
September 10, 2013
NEWS PHOTO: PROVIDED
IHS Staff Changes By REX LEI
Throughout the summer, while students are busy away from school, IHS and ICSD are extremely busy. For students, summer is a break from homework, studying, and tests— some relax, while others are out there making money. For teachers, summer means hiring season. From June to August, hundreds of appointments, re-appointments, revisions, resignations, stipends, and promotions have occurred throughout ICSD. Changes have been made to the lists of substitute teachers, support staff, paraprofessional staff, teaching assistants, and coaches, in addition to re-appointments. A few notable teacher appointments are described below, while more detailed reports can be found online (see source below). Cassandra Petrillose retired after teaching biology for thirty-seven years, leaving AP Biology to be taught by Arti Jewitt. The science department also welcomes Lena Kim, who will be teaching chemistry. Kristin Zaryski is replacing Art Loomis as the choir teacher. Although choir students lament Loomis’s departure, they are eager to see the changes Zaryski will bring to Loomis’s program. Severin Drix has officially retired, but he will still be teaching AP Calculus BC as a part-time teacher (to the relief of many). Samantha Little, formerly an Associate Principal at IHS, left her position to be South Hill Elementary School’s principal. Former teachers Bridgette Searles, Catherine Gregory, Nicole Benenati, Julie Staub, Jean Amodeo, and Jeremiah Salomon will be replaced by Larisa Droll (language), Jean Rosas (special education), Marita Wilson (biology), Alan Racheck (mathematics), Michael Reiff (English), and Paul Heiland (social studies), respectively. Jeffrey Miller (English) and Danielle Fingar (special education) have also been appointed. Source: Board of Education (BoE) Personnel Reports (publicly accessible on the BoE page of the ICSD web site)
In Other News The School Success Transportation Coalition received a $2500 grant from the Helen Thomas Howland Foundation, which will support ICSD’s Transportation Liaisons. Liaisons help students and families find transportation to school events. For more information, or to get involved, contact Carrie Kerr at redschoolrides@gmail.com.
IPEI funds and advocates for educational programs within the district.
IPEI Updates By REX LEI
The Ithaca Public Education Initiative (IPEI) is a major provider of educational funding for the ICSD. “The Ithaca Public Education Initiative facilitates community connections and support for students and teachers of the Ithaca City School District through engagement, collaboration, gifts, and grants,” reads the mission statement from the group’s web site. For many years, IPEI has helped support programs including the IHS library, Code Red Robotics, and the Fine Arts Booster Group. It has initiated the “Our Children • Our Schools • Our Future” campaign, which helps expand grants and programs. IPEI hired its first executive director, Christine Sanchirico, this year. Sanchirico has been an executive for the Cancer Resource Center, Catholic Charities, Women’s Community Building, and Tompkins Learning Partners, in addition to having served on various community non-profit boards. According to IPEI Board President Terry Byrnes, “Her leadership and energy will allow IPEI to expand our outreach and continue to enhance the programs and initiatives we offer to our students and teachers.” She begins in September. IPEI added the Ithaca STEM Advocates as a new affiliate. Ithaca STEM Advocates provides funding for science, technology, engineering, and mathematics programs. “We will advocate for STEM activities in the ICSD; help raise funds, seek grants, and coordinate sponsorships for STEM activities; and foster communication and collaboration among STEM groups and with the community,” remarked president Illa Burbank. Teachers, clubs, and ICSD-sponsored organizations in STEM fields can apply to become associate organizations of Ithaca STEM and receive support. To become involved, visit www.ithacastem.org.
5
September 10, 2013
Continued from Page 1. As the word about the quality of the summer events along with impressive district instructional efforts becomes more well known, it has become easier to attract folks to Ithaca for the summer professional development opportunity. Amazing keynote and workshop presenters including theorists, superintendents, teachers, and others were eager to participate in EduStat 2013. AZ: What were the overall goals of the conference? LB: This conference’s theme was “Collaboration for Customization,” which attempts to encompass topics associated with educators working together to individualize instruction for all students. Program strands included: 1. “Putting Faces on the Data,” which included sessions on “PLC 2.0” and using data to inform instructional planning for each student and/or group of students. 2. “Courageous and Connected Leadership,” which addresses the changing culture of teaching and learning, and also using technology to connect teachers, students, staff, the community, and the world. An interesting aspect of the event was creating one of the nation’s first truly paperless conferences. No agendas were printed. Attendees received information and shared using the conference app www.eventmobi.com/EDUSTAT. Additionally, all attendees registered a Twitter handle. With Twitter, attendees shared, collaborated, and entered into special prize drawings.
NEWS LB: Of course! We had an opportunity to provide a world-class, nationally acclaimed professional development opportunity to ICSD and local educators. The level of thinking and connections made will have a significant impact on the school district’s efforts going forward. Along with amazing professional development, ICSD educators were able to converse with vendors such as Pearson and Imagine Learning to share constructive feedback and inform future product developments. AZ: What were the costs associated with running the conference? What was the revenue? If the revenue didn’t go to ICSD, where did it go? LB: The ICSD partnered with the TST BOCES to administer the EduStat Conference. Through this partnership, most conference expenses will receive state aid. Therefore, it is difficult to pinpoint exact cost and revenues at this time. However, budgeted amounts included $36,000 in speaker fees, $10,000 in food, $3000 in signage/posters, and $5250 in the conference web site and app. Revenues will be distributed to the ICSD and TST BOCES. Registration fees were collected from all non-ICSD conference attendees. The registration fees for non-ICSD educators were $370 for an individual, $945 for a team of three ($315 per person), $1325 for a team of five ($265 per person), and $1325 for a team of five or more plus $265 for each additional individual. In addition to incurring no registration fees, ICSD teachers attending EduStat were paid their hourly contractual rate.
AZ: What did ICSD/IHS teacher turnout look like? Non-local turnout?
AZ: How did attendees feel about the conference?
LB: Approximately 400 attendees. 240 from the ICSD. Thirty-five IHS teachers attended. The non-local turnout included educators from Colorado, Maryland, Texas, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Illinois, North Carolina, Utah, Georgia, Arkansas, New Jersey, and other areas in New York State.
LB: The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. Conference attendees were asked to expand their professional learning network (PLN) by using #ICSDPLC. Hundreds of tweets were shared highlighting the event, reflecting on what was learned, and expressing appreciation for having this wonderful event in Ithaca. Of particular note, attendees were amazed by the quality of the keynote
AZ: Was it worth it?
speakers and workshop presenters. AZ: What was your own experience like as the host? LB: We had been planning for the conference for approximately nine months. It was rewarding to see the many hours of thinking and preparation result in smiles, laughs, connections, and learning. In addition to feeling good about the attendees’ reactions, I learned much from the various interactions and presentations. AZ: Anything you’d like to add? LB: Edustat was the kickoff to a month of outstanding professional development for ICSD educators. Each day there were exceptional workshops on topics such as mindset/cultural responsiveness, data-informed decision-making, expeditionary learning, instructional coaching, curriculum writing, response to intervention, and professional learning communities.
Obituary Allen Lambert, a strong proponent for education in Ithaca schools, recently passed away from lymphoma at age seventy-three. Lambert, born in Utah, moved in 1977 to Ithaca for graduate work in Cornell’s sociology department. He was an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, ran a computer consulting business, and taught at Cornell, SUNY Albany, and Elmira College as an adjunct professor. Lambert served two terms on the Board of Education. While there, he was a strong critic of the school’s spending, noting the discrepancy between the increase in money spent and the decrease in enrollment. Lambert strongly pushed for higher academic standards. Enoch Lambert noted, “His own extreme value of learning for its own sake extended to wanting to be involved in and improve public education.”
6
September 10, 2013
OPINION
From The Head Of Ned: Suspension PHOTO: PROVIDED
two-shoes students who want to be in school, and there are the Breaking Bad type who couldn’t give a flying duck about how they do in school. This is, of course, a huge oversimplification, but the point is that there are some students that want to be in school and some students that don’t. This is where the first problem with suspension Students are suspended, but does it help? comes from. Generally, By NED LAUBER the Jesse Pinkmans of school—that is to say, the students that don’t want to be in In high school, when students who mis- school—are the ones who go and do stuff behave are unfortunate or stupid enough that results in suspension. But if they don’t to get caught, they generally receive one want to be in school in the first place, how of a variety of punishments. These range does suspending them do any good? If a from a phone call home to, in the rarest student skips class to go get high and is cases, expulsion. Nowadays, it seems that suspended for that, what is to stop the the most common consequence thrown student from doing the same thing every around is suspension. Punch another stu- day of the suspension? For students who dent: SUSPENDED. Get caught smoking don’t want to be in school, suspension is weed: SUSPENDED. Show up drunk to simply a way of putting off the real cona school event: SUSPENDED. I’m not sequences until they return. Suspension sure what the particular guidelines that is a break: it allows them to suspend the surround suspension are, but suspension consequences of their actions. seems to be used when the school district The second problem with suspension wants to say, “That was bad.” is the fact that it is not a constructive conPersonally, this boggles my mind. Ban- sequence. This applies to both students ning students from school for a day or a who want to be in school and students week or a month has absolutely no posi- who do not. For students who do, sustive outcomes. There are two types of stu- pension is a punishment. Their grades dents in the world: There are the goody will likely suffer and they’ll fall behind in
Continued from Page 2. Because children are fickle, it makes a certain amount of sense to prohibit them from changing their minds once they make decisions. This is why course selections were done electronically in February. This is why meetings with guidance counselors began just two weeks later. This is why a letter was mailed home in April asking everybody, “Are you sure?” The administration wanted to make certain that students who wanted to change their minds had ample time to do so before dropping the hammer. Course descriptions were located in the Program of Studies, which outlined each course, so that students could get an idea of what each course would be about and could select courses appropriate to their own levels. This way, no one who failed Geometry would think it would be a good idea to sign up for AP Stats or Calculus. But why didn’t anyone tell me I wouldn’t be able to drop or change required classes? Ah, but you were told, dear reader. Clearly printed in bright red on the
their course work. They’ll know that they got in trouble. But will they actually learn anything from suspension? No. The only situation in which suspension should be used is when a student is making others feel unsafe, or when a student is an active threat to another student, teacher, or the school environment. But suspension should never be used in any other case. It just stops people from learning for the period of their suspension. There is absolutely no educational benefit to suspension, and the point of consequences should not be to slow down someone’s education. Consequences should be used to teach students to do the right thing. The only reason that suspension is used as a punishment in our school district is because it has a huge stigma surrounding it. If you got suspended, you must’ve done something really bad. Suspension is used to send a message. But why not send that same message with hours of community service work? This is a much more constructive consequence, and does not suspend anyone’s learning. Instead, it forces students to do work and use their own time, but also allows them to give something back to the community. There is no reason a student should ever be suspended from school unless the student is an active menace to society. Jesse Pinkman should be suspended for distributing meth to other students, not for smoking weed.
first page of the Program of Studies is this passage: “Once selections are made, applications to change one’s classes will not be approved.” Mr. Powers spent an extra sixty cents per copy to print that phrase in red so that everyone could see it. But come on, who seriously looked at the first page of the Program of Studies? Good question, dear reader. Even if you didn’t, clearly stated in the letter that was sent home was the policy that schedule changes or dropping required classes would not be allowed, come September. If you didn’t read that, then it’s no one’s fault but your own, and it probably doesn’t speak too well for your chances in AP Lit this year. But remember, if you decided to be dumb and take three English classes as a senior, two of them are electives and can be dropped or changed at will, since this new policy only applies to classes whose credits you need to graduate. So if you’ve found yourself with a schedule you aren’t too fond of, just remember that you did that to yourself, and cowboy up, ’cause you’re in for a rough year.
7
September 10, 2013
OPINION PHOTO: PROVIDED
The classic Commons is gone, and it’s not clear if the replacement is worth it.
Commons Consensus: Negative By CHRIS SKAWSKI
Everyone who has been to the Commons sometime in the last four or so months has seen the construction still underway to renovate the area. Many major projects were undertaken by the City of Ithaca during this construction project. The large pavillions that had previously characterized the Commons were all taken out, as were the trees that had lined the area. The concrete walking areas central to the Commons were torn up in early April, creating a detached and uninviting environment for shopping and recreation. The final plan is to replace the trees and open areas, allowing people to stroll and inhabit the area more freely. The design is nice, but I can’t help but feel that the new Commons will stray too far from the original and not be as good. The performing stages that were common in the area have all been torn down, with no plans to replace them, save one new pavillion on Seneca Street. One of the nicest things about the Continued from Page 3. 8. Blowing off senior year Nothing says “motivated student” quite like a D in participation in Government. Even if you ran into that little “slump” after you were already accepted to a college, many schools can and will rescind your acceptance. So this really is a foolproof method no matter what time you choose
Commons was that, on any given day, there was a fair chance that somebody with an instrument and a voice was at one of those pavillions, filling the Commons with sound. The new plan makes no arrangements for as many new performing areas, which will put a serious damper on local musicians’ ability to just come and play. The new design does open up a lot of space for seating along the edges, complete with groups of trees lining a central concourse, but at what cost? The old Commons offered plenty of room for seating, from the wide open area in front of Waffle Frolic to that weird group of benches behind the pavillion. While I’m sure that the new Commons will look nice and bring some of the life and beauty back to the downtown area, I have a hard time believing from the proposal diagrams that the new design will be as good as the old one. And in the meantime, the Commons is a rough construction zone, complete with scenic concrete and dust. But just remember, it can only get better from construction . . . well, maybe not.
to call on it. Colleges would like to think your high school career meant more to you than just an acceptance letter from them. 9. Embracing apathy Simply clocking in and out with the school day is not all it takes to avoid a rejection letter. Few admissions counselors
will look highly upon hobbies like video gaming, sleeping, and cheese doodling. No matter what your interest is, pursuing it outside of school is key to success, and doing so will make you look slightly less like a shut-in. 10. Not graduating . . . probably won’t help your chances.
8
September 10, 2013 PHOTO: APRIL CARROLL
IHS students in Germany a few days before they traveled to Tuttlingen.
The German Exchange Experience By EMILY SCARPULLA
Spending three weeks in Germany was a life-changing experience. Living with a family in which only your exchange partner spoke much English was culture shock, to say the least. Twenty-one of us traveled with three teachers to experience German life with exchange students from Germany who had previously come to live with us in the United States. We lived in their homes, went to their schools, spoke their language, and most importantly, ate their food. After spending several wonderful weeks with them, we stopped by Munich before heading home. I think what was most exciting about our experience was the huge difference between living in Germany and living in America. The food was incredible, but very different. One thing I always forget, being from America, is that most countries have a very standard type of food that is eaten most nights. I thought it would be nice to make classic American macaroni and cheese, but my family was very confused as to why we did not have a meat dish to go along with it. In Germany, it’s customary to have a significant portion of meat along with every meal and, lucky for us, the meat was always really good. There were also more bakeries than I could have ever imagined (and that’s saying something, living in Ithaca). They were on every cor-
ner and all had unique pastries, of which I tried as many as possible. The different breads all tasted incredible and the fillings were all delicious. I swear that everyone must have gained ten pounds from all the bread consumed. The education system in Germany is very different from ours in the US. German schools start at 7:30 and end either at 12:30 or 5:00, depending on the day. The schedules are different every day, with most classes only happening once a week. Another aspect that I found interesting was that students took every type of math and science every year rather than learning one each year. I think that that helps in really understanding and retaining knowledge of the subjects. Schools also have a week at the end of every year called Projecttage, which the students spend working in project groups on virtually anything, from unicycling to kayaking. This was a nice way to end the year after stressful tests were over and gave the school a fun atmosphere. I think that we all really enjoyed the trip and learned a lot about ourselves and German culture. We have definitely made lifelong friends from both here and Germany. The trip was an absolutely incredible opportunity to have. I highly recommend that any sophomores or incoming freshman taking languages consider signing up for available exchange trips! Mine was truly a life-changing experience.
9
September 10, 2013
A Word with the Superintendent By JENSEN LO
Since Dr. Luvelle Brown arrived in 2011, he’s made sweeping changes to many aspects of the district. I sat down with Dr. Brown to get an update on his future plans and introduce him to the incoming freshman class. Jensen Lo ’14: How do you think the previous school year went? What was your proudest accomplishment? Dr. Luvelle Brown: From my perspective, the 2012–2013 academic year was very successful for ICSD. First, I witnessed thinking and efforts at a level I have not seen at any point previously in my career. Building new knowledge and the facilitation of the experiences that result in learning are becoming more and more complex and challenging. Fortunately, the students, staff, and community of ICSD are accepting and meeting this task. Specifically, I am proud of the multiple
instructional initiatives that are resulting in increased consistency and quality of the curriculum and instruction occurring from classroom to classroom at all levels. Examples include the elementary literacy and mathematics frameworks, Common CORE implementation across the district, game-based learning at the elementary level, and expeditionary learning module implementation. I’ve also been excited about our professional development options that are aligned to our district’s vision and mission.
tal environments maximizing the use of online resources, electronic devices, and expanded learning networks.
JL: What sort of things are you planning for this year?
JL: If you had one thing that you could tell every incoming freshman, what would you say?
LB: For the 2013–2014 academic school year, we will continue to focus on the key initiatives and efforts of the past two years. Additionally, we will continue to make instructional shifts to embed critical thinking and interdisciplinary approaches into teaching and learning. Such shifts will involve more movement towards digi-
JL: What were you doing before you came to ICSD? LB: Prior to coming to Ithaca, I was a Chief Information Officer for a Virginia school district. Previously, I’ve been a teacher, assistant principal, principal, and Executive Director for Division and School Improvement.
LB: To all incoming freshmen: Use the opportunity here at IHS to embrace the diversity of thought, culture, and experiences to build a better understanding of yourself and how you can contribute to this rapidly changing world that we live in.
Restaurant Review: Saigon Kitchen By JULIAN ENG
Located on 526 West State Street in the former home of Taste of Thai Express, Saigon Kitchen serves up a wide (and delicious) variety of Vietnamese food. The family-owned restaurant bustles with activity almost constantly. It is frequented by locals and college students on account of its reputation for excellent phở (Vietnamese noodles), along with other Vietnamese dishes. As you venture into the small establishment, you are greeted by the slight, aromatic smell of Vietnamese food, various pictures of the Vietnamese countryside, and the owner. The servers are friendly, and service is fast, even on busy days. The restaurant’s vast culinary repertoire presents the diner with myriad choices, all inexpensive. The more adventurous may want to begin with the durian smoothie; my personal favorite, however, is the young coconut juice: light and refreshing, complete with pieces of coconut. Saigon Kitchen offers other assorted drinks: hot tea, cafe sử dá (Vietnamese iced coffee), and a large assortment of smoothies and juices. Appetizers there include gỏi cuôn (summer rolls), chả giò (Vietnamese imperial meat rolls), Sriracha hot wings, spring rolls, and crispy squid, to enumerate my choice appetizers. The crispy squid by far tops the list: the squid and the crispy
outer layer create an amazing juxtaposition of textures; along with the sauce, it becomes an outstanding appetizer. The obvious selection for one’s main dish is a phở dish of some variety: various dishes include beef, rare eye round steak, chicken, seafood, or various combinations thereof. I must recommend phở tai bo vien—phở with rare eye round steak and meatballs. Just enough meat, in balance with the noodles, broth, and the small addition of basil to the mix. Other than phở, there are other noodle dishes and rice dishes. Vegetarians need not despair, for many of the dishes can be made vegetarian, and there the vegetarian “Buddha dishes” for your enjoyment. Finally, for those unfilled, three desserts are available: sesame balls, the chè ba maù (rainbow drink), and young coconut jelly. The rainbow drink, extremely popular in Vietnam, is a layered dessert consisting of tapioca bubbles, green jelly, yellow mung bean, sweet red bean, and crushed ice, with a topping of coconut milk and peanuts—an indescribably delicious combination. Affordable, with a cheerful atmosphere, Saigon Kitchen presents authentic Vietnamese food to the community, at the restaurant itself, the Farmer’s Market, and at our many festivals here in Ithaca. Though there might be a line, you’ll find that the food is well worth the wait.
10
September 10, 2013
So You Want to Be a High Schooler: By NAOMI POWERS
Freshman year is a busy time in your life. You have a new school, new classmates, new courses, and new teachers. It may feel a little overwhelming at first, but once you get past the initial anxiety, freshman year can be an exciting time. Getting off to a good start is important, so hopefully these tips will send you in the right direction. 1. Talk to new people every day Starting this year, you are going to have classes in which you know absolutely no one. It’s going to be scary at first. Although it may seem easier to sit back and keep to yourself throughout the day, making friends is an important part of high school, and it’s worth the initial risk. Even a simple compliment (“I really like your shirt!”) or question (“Do you have an extra pen I could borrow?”) makes others feel comfortable and interested in talking to you. Eventually these people may become very important parts of your life. The girl with the short blond hair in the back of the room? She’s going to stay up late helping you study for your algebra quiz. The boy who fidgets with his pencil? He’s going to introduce you to so much good music. And when you get to sophomore year and have a friend in every class, you’ll thank freshman-you for putting in that effort. 2. Budget your time Texting all your friends may seem like the most important thing on your evening agenda. “OMG, Becky did what? Srsly? Girl, I can’t believe her!” However, no matter how much you
believe in your Generation Y multitasking powers, you will finish your homework much more efficiently and thoroughly if you take the time to unplug. This goes for Facebook, Netflix, Tumblr, and Vines of sassy toddlers. When you finish what you need to do first, the things you want to do are that much more enjoyable. Even though your workload may not seem that heavy now, it will be in a few more semesters. Which brings us to . . . . 3. Good habits stick, but bad ones do, too If you get used to a routine of getting home after school, having a snack, and diving into your homework so as to get to bed on time, then good for you! You’re on a sustainable path to surviving high school academics. On the other hand, if you regularly multitask while doing homework, procrastinate on projects, and stay up late, you should probably rethink your strategy. When you put off big projects until the last minute, you only create stress for yourself in the future. Get a knot in your stomach each time your friend mentions next week’s Global essay? You should probably at least start planning what you’re going to write. When you spread the work out over the course of days or weeks, not only are you more likely to have a strong final result, but the workload will also feel much lighter. A note about all-nighters: All-nighters are not fun. They are not a rite of passage, and they are not necessary unless you force them to be. Unfortunately, we live in a world in which coffee and sleep are not the same thing. In my time at IHS, I’ve had to pull a total of two all-nighters: one to finish
a chemistry project, and one to write an English paper. Both of these situations could have been avoided, had I not procrastinated on my assignments! The next day, you are going to feel like you were hit by a truck. So please take my advice, and only try to pull all-nighters with your friends during the summer. You’ll probably have better stories to tell afterwards. 4. Broaden your horizons High school is a time for figuring out what really interests you. This may be something academic, but it may also be something without a precise curriculum. IHS offers a wide variety of clubs and extracurriculars that you may not even realize you’d enjoy. So go out of your comfort zone and try something new! You’ll have fun and make friends along the way. 5. Stay organized A messy room is a messy mind, and that algebra worksheet due tomorrow? It’s probably going to be forgotten if it’s crumpled at the bottom of your bag. Although I have friends who insist that the “creative chaos” technique helps them keep everything in order, organizing your schoolwork logically is by far more reliable. Keep papers in their proper folders and binders, do your homework in a clean place and remember to put it back in your bag, and designate a spot in your backpack for writing utensils. Keeping a small notebook in which to write down each night’s assignments is also extremely useful. It will be harder to forget what homework you have, and you can also dramatically cross off each item once it’s completed. Continued on Page 11.
11
September 10, 2013
A Freshman’s Guide PHOTO: PROVIDED
textbooks, friends, and Yahoo! Answers when you are completely lost on a topic, but your most valuable resources are your teachers. As I mentioned earlier, they’re here to help you along. Many teachers post lists of periods during which they are free to give help and answer questions, and are more than willing to tutor you when you’re confused. Going in for help outside of class will aid you in your understanding of a subject as well as let your teacher know that you are an enthusiastic learner. By the time the test comes around, you’ll thank yourself for having put in that extra effort.
Staying organized in class and out will help you greatly.
Continued from Page 10. 6. Your life is not a movie Pop culture has divided the high school experience into two extremes: either you’re the football captain with a pretty girlfriend and 8000 Facebook friends, or you’re the dork with the bad haircut who gets pushed into lockers. Reality check: ninety-nine percent of you do not fall into these categories. Don’t feel pressured to live up to any sort of image. You spend more time observing your life than anyone else, so why try to be anything but yourself? In a similar line, every day will not be perfect. In fact, it’s highly probably that you will have days when you wake up late, lose your French homework, and forget to wear pink even though it’s Wednesday. It will not dramatically rain on your way home from school, and The Fray will not play when you feel hopeless. This is completely normal. The most important thing these days can teach you is that sometimes all you can do is keep going and not linger on the negative things, because you will have days even higher than your low days are low.
7. Adults are just trying to help you Your mom is always on your case about your grades and the cleanliness of your room, your coach is pushing you like a drill sergeant, and your bio teacher keeps pestering you with advice on how to succeed. Sometimes it seems like anyone unattractive and over the age of twenty-five just likes watching you suffer. But here’s the catch: these people, with their stiff-collared shirts and constant nagging, really just want to help you. They’re on your side, and they want you to succeed. What could they gain from putting you down besides a few colorfully worded emails from college-you? Nothing! Think of them as little friendly helpers along the way, and try taking their advice. Pretty soon, you’ll remember to wash the dishes without your dad telling you to first, and you’ll think better of your teachers. 8. Ask for help when you need it When you don’t understand material in a class, it’s important to try and conquer the subject before forgetting you even studied it. It’s easy to consult
9. Don’t be afraid of the C-word: College Unless you are very lucky (or superhuman), you probably don’t know what you want to do with your life at this point. It’s difficult enough to adjust to a new school, let alone start to plan entire decades of your future. Although you don’t need to start seriously thinking about schools and majors until your junior year, as a freshman, you have the opportunity to figure out what you enjoy. Interested in science? Try your hand at an extra-credit project, or better yet, ask your teacher for additional coursework. Is music more your thing? IHS offers a wide selection of music-oriented classes and clubs. Once you find what you’re passionate about, thinking about colleges that offer programs that interest you won’t be as scary. 10. Everyone else is as nervous as you High school can at first seem like a big, scary place. There are so many people, upstairs G and H look exactly the same, and some of the seniors may literally be twice your size. Being new to IHS can seem a little overwhelming, but you know who else is new here? A couple hundred freshmen who are just like you. You’ve got one heck of a support system. You’re not alone.
12
September 10, 2013
A&
Songs of the Summer PHOTO: PROVIDED
By NAOMI POWERS
School may have started, but as long as it’s warm enough for bike rides and Freeze Pops, summer is definitely still here. So keep that sunscreen on for a few weeks longer, because these songs are going to help you keep a little of that August sun even when the first homework assignments start rolling in. 1. “Chocolate”: The 1975 Alt rock meets chamber pop in the catchy track that has proven The 1975’s mainstream pop chart success. Although the group graduated from EPs and single tracks to a debut album, The 1975, on September 2, its singles still remain some of its catchiest songs yet. 2. “You Can’t Be My Girl”: Darwin Deez With a funky beat and witty lyrics (“You’re crazy and you show it off / Dear, you’re slurring Gorbachev”), “You Can’t Be My Girl” discusses a theme rarely found in songs by male artists: blowing off a girl. The tone of the song is definitely childish at times, but hey, summer is about having fun and not caring. 3. “Trying to Be Cool”: Phoenix Everyone was so on board with Wolfgang Amadeus that naturally, Bankrupt! could only go up from there. This track is suave and in control, and definitely in the list of top songs to swagger-walk to. And the music video is even better. Shot in one continuous take by using multiple cameras, it features a mustache chart, an air cannon, Forrest Gump–style ping pong, Adidas tracksuits, and a massive dance finale. Definitely cool. 4. “Elevate”: St. Lucia Jazzy, lush, and catchy as hell? Got it. St. Lucia’s new single layers exotic percussion and synth notes for the perfect tropical feel. 5. “Get Lucky”: Daft Punk (ft. Pharell Williams) This is such an obvious choice, but I’m being entirely serious. Unless you were as sheltered as the six Trayvon Martin jurors this summer, you’ve heard this song.
Phoenix on the set of its new video for “Trying to Be Cool.”
After an awkwardly long studio hiatus, Daft Punk is back, creating a new wave of EDM so listener-friendly that even your mom probably likes this song. So don’t be embarrassed: even American Vogue has accepted the helmeted duo as a modern cultural phenomenon. Don’t believe me? Look up its shoot in the August issue. 6. “San Francisco”: The Mowgli’s The big-band feel of this track is so dance-worthy, you just want to grab someone and jump around like it’s Grassroots all over again. I feel the love. 7. “Blurred Lines” (BBC Radio 1 Live Cover): Vampire Weekend Although I could go on a rant about Robin Thicke’s misogynistic exploitation and subsequent objectification of the female form to generate cheap media controversy, I feel like being pleasant right now. Because there’s no denying it: “Blurred Lines” is a darn catchy song, and I’m not one to rain on the catchiness parade. Instead, I’m going to recommend Vampire Weekend’s cover. Though less polished than the original, the live cover feels much more joyful and fun, and Ezra Koenig’s slurred rapping can’t be beat. It’s also occasionally nice to hear that, “You the hottest fish in this place.” 8. “My Girl”: Willy Moon
All my friends are probably so tired of me declaring the greatness of Willy Moon, but my obsession is justified. The twentyfour-year-old New Zealand–born Londoner released his first album this April, and has already been featured in an Apple commercial and covered by Jack White. His music takes ’50s rock and roll and adds a modern twist, using hip hop production techniques to create a style that is at once retro and brilliantly modern. If this man doesn’t score a major hit within the next two years, text me to say, “I told you so.” 9. “Wheel of Fortune”: The Virgins Between their debut album in 2008 and Strike Gently earlier this year, The Virgins grew up. Though they may (questionably) still have their virginity, their music has evolved from spontaneous teenage pop and gained a more mature, thoughtful tone. 10. “On Our Way”: The Royal Concept I’m not going to lie: the first time I heard this song, I was literally speeding down a country road on a sunny day with friends. Sometimes life really is an after-school special. This song is the perfect teenage summer anthem. With a driving pop melody and youthfully upbeat lyrics (“We are young / We are one / Let us shine for what it’s worth”), this song really does make you want to drive off into the sunset.
13
September 10, 2013
A&
PHOTO: GEORGE CANNON
Wacky Instrument: Melodica By EMILY SCARPULLA
“Into the Woods” puts darker spins on several fairy tales.
Into the Woods: A Tale of Not-Quite-Happy Endings By ELLEN SHOCKEY
PHOTO: PROVIDED
Running to Places is a local theater company for young actors, and this summer, it took on the Stephen Sondheim masterpiece Into the Woods. With a cast of just around two dozen teenagers, the company tackled the show with only three weeks of rehearsal before going into technical rehearsals the week of the performances. There are approximately four hundred pages of music in the score, and the cast learned the entirety of their songs in just two weeks of Sunday-through-Thursday rehearsals. Even though a virus passed around the cast during the third week of rehearsals, everyone pushed through it and put in work hours building, moving, and installing the set at the State Theatre alongside the Assistant Stage Managers and family. As a member of the company and cast of this show, I must say that participating in this company’s productions built a great work ethic and sense of responsibility. In this musical, Sondheim took some classic fairy tales, gave them happy endings at the end of Act I, and then twisted and tore them apart in Act II, all while delving deeper into the motivations of each character and proving to the audience that each character, even the ones that were canonically evil, is the protagonist of his or her story. The Witch (Allie Young of Dryden) only wanted to have her daughter, Rapunzel (Charlotte Senders of Trumansburg), stay with her forever. The Giant (voice: Hanalei Berg of LACS) wanted her husband’s murderer, Jack (Matthew Skrovan ’16 of IHS), to be punished for his actions. This show has many important morals and themes, including “be careful what you wish for because it might just come true,” the loss of loved ones, that revenge does not bring peace, and that beauty does not lead to happiness. The cast and crew of this show made it a production not to be missed. Each and every member brought strengths and talents to the table, and along with having demonstrated immense commitment, has a great chance of being successful should he or she pursue a career in theater, whether it be at a local theater or on Broadway.
The melodica, also known as the key-flute, is basically a glorified harmonica except for one major difference: The melodica has its own piano-like keyboard. Invented in Italy during the nineteenth century, the modern form of the melodica was put into mainstream production in the 1950s. The instrument is usually used for jazz and reggae, and was first used for a serious recording in the 1960s. The melodica is classified as a woodwind instrument; however, there are many aspects of the instrument that make it easier to play than most woodwinds. It only takes one finger to play each note, unlike most woodwinds, which require multiple fingers to be held down to go between notes. Accidentals (notes outside of the given key signature) are also much easier to play on the melodica because each note is equally easy to play, unlike on woodwinds, where each note has a particular fingering that is more complicated when playing notes outside of the given key signature. I have had the pleasure of playing this instrument in one of its many forms: the soprano melodica. Like saxophones, the melodica comes in soprano, alto, tenor, and bass, which have different tones and ranges. Another interesting type of melodica is the accordina. It’s more similar to an accordion in looks than a piano, like the traditional melodica, and is made of metal rather than plastic. The accordina has a brighter tone and is much more difficult to play without previous knowledge of how chromatic button accordion keyboards work. The melodica will probably never become wildly popular as a performance instrument, but it is quite easy to play and carry around. It can act as the poor man’s piano in a pinch. Google melodica. Just do it—you won’t regret it.
Despite looking like a portable keyboard, the melodica is a woodwind instrument.
14
September 10, 2013
A&
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters: A Review PHOTO: PROVIDED
By RENA BRAND
The Percy Jackson books hit their peak popularity around when the final book was released in 2009. The books were a hit with children and adults alike, so when the first movie, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, was released in 2010, eager audiences watched with disappointment as the book’s plot was completely changed. Some changes were understandable, because there was little chance of a sequel being made and the filmmakers wanted to tie up loose ends, but other changes seemed completely unnecessary. With this in mind, I was surprised but still excited when I heard that a sequel was being made, for I hoped that it could redeem the train wreck that was The Lightning Thief. I was wrong. Percy Jackson & the Olympians: Sea of Monsters takes place one year after The Lightning Thief. Percy returns to Camp Half-Blood (a camp for children who are half god and half human) for the summer. When somebody poisons the tree that protects Camp HalfBlood, Percy and his friends must journey to the Sea of Monsters (known in the mortal world as the Bermuda Triangle) to find the Golden Fleece. That description is pretty much all that is the same between the book and the movie. Pretty much every detail was changed or translated incorrectly into the movie, which was frustrating to watch. Admittedly, some of the changes were necessary to add details that were left out of the the first movie when the sequel was up in the air, but this fact hurt the movie’s forward momentum. There were also some plot points that came from later books introduced into this movie, which made it feel jumbled and out of order. The acting was atrocious, and yes, I’m talking about Logan Lerman. I saw Perks of Being a Wallflower, and know he can act. Maybe he was just feeding off the bad acting vibes from the rest of the cast, but regardless, the acting was not good.
The new Percy Jackson film is only a half-blood retelling of the novel.
There were some standout moments in the movie though. The opening scene consists of a training exercise between some of the demigods at the camp. This awesome action sequence is enhanced by Fall Out Boy’s “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up),” which serves as the background music. This started the movie on a high note, from which it quickly fell. Another moment was the telling of the fall of Kronos through the use of animated stained glass, reminiscent of the telling of The Tale of the Three Brothers in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1. It was creative and brought new life to a story that has been told for thousands of years. And finally, Nathan Fillion as Hermes: he was amazing, as usual. The ten minutes he was in the movie made sitting through the other ninety-six minutes worth it. He was funny and charming, and his not-so-subtle
Firefly reference was the best line in the entire movie. My rating for this movie is 5/10 stars. It is entertaining if you didn’t read the book and aren’t really looking for a movie that involves a lot of emotion or thinking. Even if you did read the book, you’ll probably end up going to see it anyways for the nostalgia factor. In the end, the action sequences were not choreographed well enough to distract from the bad acting, and sadly, you know a movie is bad when not even Nathan Fillion can save it. This is definitely a movie that is best watched only if it appears on instant Netflix; even just going to a Redbox is a wasted effort.
Preview: Fantasy Football: Tattler vs. Community By RUBIN DANBERG-BIGGS
The average American has long been plagued by a burning-yet-unanswered question for his leaders: who’s your firstround pick? I am, of course, referring to Fantasy Football, and the leaders in question range from principals, to mayors, to the highest office in the land. Before we take military action in Syria, I would really like to know if our president had the foresight to stay away from MJD last year and avoid his ugly season. Luckily, the time is upon us, and answers will soon be arriving. Maybe not from my good pal Barack, but from sources that are quite a bit more immediately relevant to IHS students. This football season, there will be an eight-team Fantasy Football league, pitting members of The Tattler against prominent members of Ithaca. These members include Principal Jarrett Powers, Superintendent Luvelle Brown, Tompkins County Legislator and 2012 Democratic
nominee for Congress Nate Shinagawa, and Mayor Svante Myrick. They will be going head-to-head with writers Sarah Nixon ’14 and Peter Frey ’14, Sports Editor Chris Skawski ’14, and Editor-in-Chief Rubin Danberg-Biggs ’14. With a draft scheduled for shortly before the start of school, we will all soon be certain of just how sound our leaders’ judgments are. The draft will be chronicled in the October issue, and records of standings and results will be chronicled meticulously every month. Anyone interested in following the matchups from week to week need only head over to www. ihstattler.com. I would also like to take this opportunity to offer a challenge to Mr. Powers. As a member of this league, I can personally guarantee that Mr. Powers will never beat me. I am so sure of this, in fact, that if I am, by some Red Sea– parting-esque miracle, defeated, I will make a T-shirt with a picture of his face on the front and wear it to school. Mark my words: such a shirt will never exist. PHOTO: PROVIDED
Fantasy Football is like this, only it’s marginally more acceptable for grown men to play it.
16
September 10, 2013
SPORTS PHOTO: PROVIDED
A Hard Act to Follow By JOSIAH RAWLINGS
PHOTO: NAOMI POWERS
The IHS tennis team has been improving greatly for the past three years, and last season, the team went undefeated and won its second straight Southern Tier Athletic Conference (STAC) and Section 4 Class A team title. As a team, it could not advance any further—there was nothing left to win. After the STAC championship, individual players moved on to further competition. So how does an undefeated team outdo itself ? As a team, it is not able to do better, but individually, there is a lot of room for improvement. The team dominates in its division but gets creamed once individual players get to the state level. Although the team went as far as it could go, each player still has a lot of room for growth on an individual level. Luckily, the team’s number two spot and co-captain Kevin Huang ’15 is determined to do better next year. “Going to states was a magical experience. I plan to practice hard all year long to be able to compete there again,” he said. The number one spot and co-captain Justin Milner ’15 feels the same way. “My goals for the team are to be undefeated and take the STAC championship. Goals for myself are to reach states in singles and play as well as possible at Flushing Meadows, hopefully reaching round sixteen.” The varsity boys tennis team is only in season during the spring, but the courts outside of IHS remain open year-round, allowing the team to practice all year. Another undefeated season is no longer enough to quench the thirst of these young promising athletes, who are looking for a strong victory next year in states. Look out, world—the IHS tennis team is a force to be reckoned with.
IHS tennis courts are open year-round, which allows team members to practice during the off-season.
Kite fighting requires agility and skill.
It’s a bird . . . It’s a plane . . .
No—it’s a Battle Kite! By JENSEN LO
It seems that humans are predisposed towards fighting each other with everything that they can get their hands on: weapons, pets, chess pieces, and of course, kites. Kite fighting is a competitive and serious sport in many countries around the world, but it seems quite silly to most Americans. These fighting kites are not the type of kite that you might have played with as a kid—they are lean, mean, fighting machines. The kites are designed for maneuverability and stability, while their strings are hardened with rice glue and studded with crushed glass. There are many variations of kite fighting, but typically, the goal is to bring down the enemy kite by cutting its string or battering it to the ground. With enough momentum and tension, a kite can drag its abrasive line in a swift slicing motion through the other kite’s line. Considering how tough these kite lines are, a fighting kite’s line has to be very sharp. In fact, several people have died from riding their motorcycles into a flying kite’s line, typically caused by the line slicing through an important blood vessel in the person’s neck. As a result, the sport has been banned in many Western countries. However, with appropriate safety regulations on the sharpness and strength of the strings, injuries are minimal, and kite fighting for recreation is allowed. As with any form of combat, there are many intricacies and strategies in kite fighting. For example, you could use a very large kite and try to batter your opponent’s kite into submission. Alternatively, you could try using a small and agile kite that could maneuver past your opponent’s larger kite and cut its line. Of course, since there are kites involved, controlling how the kites move can sometimes be a challenge, especially when you factor wind into the equation. Adding in the complicated process of choosing and making the kite string, it’s clear that kite fighting is a fascinating and wacky sport.
17
September 10, 2013
SPORTS
The Win Column PHOTO: PROVIDED
Boyce, Danny Amendola, and Kenbrell Thompkins. Aaron is the new Randy Moss, catching deep balls and whatnot, scoring touchdowns. Josh Boyze actually isn’t very good and I don’t like him. Danny Amendola is just trying to be the new Julian Edelman, but even though he’s amazing, he’ll never be as good as Julian. Kenbrell Thompkins is the best of all. Facing Kenbrell Thompkins for defenses is worse than having to write a column that you don’t want to do at one in the morning that you kind of have to because it’s already super late. Okay, not worse, but it’s still a bummer.
Running with the football, as this gentleman is doing, is generally conducive to a victory.
By PETER FREY
Year two. Death. Taxes. The New England Patriots are amazing. I know that enough has been written about these messiahs of the turf, so instead of another, this article will be an overview of important moves that have taken place across the NFL. Quarterback (QB): I think it’s fair to say that most people would rank Joe Montana as the best quarterback of all time, with Tim Tebow as a close second. This makes the fact that he has joined Ryan Mallet and Tom Brady on the Patriots’ roster all the more shocking. Ever since going easy on the Patriots when they met in the 2012 playoffs, it has been clear that Timothy has a soft spot for both Christ and Bill Belichick. Running Back (RB): One quote sums it up: “Defenses across the league are mad scarette of LeGarette.” —LeGarette Blount
With an average of 32.6 dudes hopped over per game, this top-three running back is a formidable addition to the Pats’ roster. After understandably jumping ship when Doug “Never Been Beaten by Anybody Ever, Not Even Steve, and That Dude’s Pretty Huge” Martin hopped onto the scene, LeGareBear made a pilgrimage to the quaint football Vatican of Gillette Stadium. Not to mention that Leon Washington is tight on the returns. Wide Receiver (WR): This year, every team in the NFL worth its salt in gold is retooling its receiver core. Some key youngsters to look at include Aaron Dobson, Josh
Tight End: The only thing not worth talking about here is Zach Sudfeld. This guy is a lean, mean, vegetable-eating machine. He also eats fruits to get all the essential vitamins and nutrients he needs to play. The top three tight ends in the league are Jimmy Graham, Rob Gronkowski, and Brandon Pettigrew. They are good at playing football and stuff, even though they barely eat a full serving of vegetables a day between the three of them. Defense: As JJ Watt once said, the best defense is a good offense. That’s why my most valuable defensive player of the pre-season award goes to Clay Matthews. Never before has one player done so much to help offenses everywhere score. He is not good at his job, as such. Oh, but actually, the Browns’ defense is gonna be tight this year: mark my words.
Wiles Guitar Studio Lynn Wiles • Instructor Serious Lessons for Serious Students www.wilesmusic.com guitarstudio@fltg.net (607) 592-9266
Quiz: What Class Should You Drop (But Possibly Can’t)? By ARYEH ZAX
1. What do you like to do with your best friend? A. Sometimes we go skateboarding together on the highway. B. Just sit around and talk with each other. C. Play one-on-one fighting games; whoever loses has to do the other’s homework. D. Skip class! Er, I mean . . . go on a college visit to the mall? E. Watch TV. 2. When do you do your homework? A. In the last ten minutes of the period before it’s due. B. When I get home, at 5:00 sharp. Doesn’t everyone? C. Lunch. My friends are boring anyway. D. During math class. Is that a problem? E. Do? Homework? 3. How much of The Tattler have you read so far? A. I just read the back page, then leave it on my desk at the end of class. B. All of it. I save the quiz for last because I like it so much. (Where’s Tova?) C. Half of it, and I’m going twice as fast as my best friend. D. I’m not sure. I like to live on the wild side of life like that. E. Why such hard questions? I’m not reading this quiz to do work. 4. Which sport do you dislike the most? A. Tchoukball. Does that count? B. Whichever one everyone’s talking about right now. So baseball, I guess? C. Any sport that isn’t the one I’m best at. D. Fantasy Football. E. Whichever one has the most running. 5. What did you do this summer? A. I hung out with my crew and did cool stuff. Totally! B. I became more attuned to my inner sloth. C. All I remember doing is filling out college applications for the last month of it. D. Video games! E. I got a job (because my parents made me do it).
6. What’s your favorite book genre? A. The one with exploding robots, directed by Michael Bay. B. Science fiction. I like pretending that I know what the future will be like. C. Mystery. I like to see how often I can figure out what the plot twists will be ahead of time. D. Is Twilight a genre? I’d argue “Yes.” E. Not the ones they make you read in English class, for sure. 7. How do you start your day? A. Twenty jumping jacks! B. Cheerios? C. COFFEE. D. I read in bed for fifteen minutes. E. I wake up. Results: Mostly As: Literary Theory of Haikus—would you be able to keep a straight face through an entire semester of this class? I didn’t think so. Go for something with more of a thrill: think “Literary Theory of Skydiving.” Mostly Bs: Scuba Diving for Amateurs—you don’t like all the muss, fuss, and potential danger that comes with scuba diving, and the school pool’s gross anyway. Unfortunately, if you drop this, your swim unit will last for the whole year. Choices, choices. . . . Mostly Cs: The Physics of Book-Writing—you enjoy exciting competition, not boring crap like this! Go for that new “Applications of Throwing Pigskins with a Spiral” that everyone’s raving about. Mostly Ds: AP Honors Advanced Regents Intro to Logic BC—you’re really not cut out for the math electives, and to make matters worse, the AP exam is one of the toughest there is. Unfortunately, AHARILBC is now required for graduation. Tough. Mostly Es: All of them. Face it: you don’t like school. Do something more productive with your time, like beg for money on the soon-to-be-renovated Commons.
19
September 10, 2013
PENULTIMATE
Dear Darwin, My family reunion in beautiful Detroit is coming up! I usually look forward to this heavenly get-together—I love playing games like pin the tail on the narcoleptic and Kazakhstani bingo, but this year is different. I have gained three pounds since my last reunion, and my family members are extraordinarily judgmental and may ostracize me. I adore my family but don’t want to be driven out by an angry mob wearing matching fanny packs! Help, Darwin! Sincerely, Conflicted Dear Conflicted, Well, it is pretty disappointing that you gained all that weight—if I were your family I would be pretty disgraced, too. What you really should do is just run away to a more accepting place like Alabama, but fleeing to Alabama wouldn’t do you much good. I understand the importance of family reunions; for example, mine is coming up this November and we are having it at Home Depot! But enough about me—back to your less exciting problem. What you must do is simply lose weight before the family
reunion—by simply not eating and using safe holistically minded techniques like leach and tapeworm treatment, and watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo until you vomit! This truly is a smart way to lose weight, and it sure beats lifting weights in a germ-laden environment or the dangerous and unsanitary “zumba”! By doing these safe techniques, you not only achieve your hot family reunion bod, but also get back your peace of mind! Bungo! Doctor Don Darwin Dorward
Horoscopes Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): As your birthday nears, be sure to write a formal thank you note for all the gifts you receive, even the oversized lewd paintings of hoary marmots. Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22): A pugilist will visit your estate. Treat this person with great humanity, for if not treated charitably, he or she may commit heinous acts of bawdy vandalism to the things you cherish most. Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): You may seem a bit more nervous lately, especially with the thought of Anthony Weiner becoming mayor and/or admitting to more acts of preposterousness. What you need is to go to your happy place—a peaceful trip to the DMV will return you to normality. Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): Some mysterious e-mails involving concerning subjects may come your way. Treat these as gifts and share them
Do what I desire to do
with loved ones, no matter how explicit.
ly. Quickly involve yourself in these.
Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): Your personal wealth will continue to suffer immensely, but have no fear, for as long as Duck Dynasty is on the air, you will be content.
Taurus (Apr. 20–May 20): Make an effort to be more aware of your flatulence, because it truly is repulsive.
“The Butler” Killing two stones with one bird
Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18): As classes begin again, choose your seat wisely—you mustn’t make the mistake of sitting next to a freak who’ll bother you for the whole year. I recommend the charming young man with a triple mohawk.
Gemini (May 21–June 20): You love to talk, so do it— spread messages of powdered milk as a superlative source of calcium. Also, as someone who craves comfort, get involved in team sports, like competitive knitting and underwater sunbathing!
Pisces (Feb. 19–Mar. 20): The stars tell me that this year, you will not fall in love, not succeed academically, and will make a multitude of enemies. However, you will take up listening to smooth jazz.
Cancer (June 21–July 22): A friend in need of some tender loving care will come to you for nurturing, but you must resist helping this friend because nurturing often leads to imprisonment.
Jon Stewart’s beard
Aries (Mar. 21–Apr. 19): The 2013–2014 school year will offer many gratifying opportunities involving bathing the elder-
Leo (July 23–Aug. 22): Leos are supposed to be creative . . . so build a well-fitting swimsuit out of burlap.
Not getting Adrian Peterson in Fantasy Football
1 6 4
John Oliver Pope “The Dope” Francis “Candy Crush” Carlos Danger
9 2 The first day of school
6 9 1 5 9
3 8 7 2
5 7
6
3
1 4
Miley Cyrus
9 4 8
5 2
7
8 9
1 4 6
The parent who brings a camera to college tours