ARTICLE
By Susie Murtaugh
HUMAN RESOURCES COORDINATOR (RETIRED AUGUST 2020) APTAKISIC-TRIPP CCSD 102O
Leah Waser
HUMAN RELATIONS COORDINATOR APTAKISIC-TRIPP CCSD 102
Be prepared
Try to gather as much information about the situation or issue to be discussed before the meeting. It helps to ask the staff member if there are any questions you can answer before you meet and/or if there is any information they would like you to have ready for them. Have a box of Kleenex on the table, and a bottle of water for everyone.
Offer Acknowledgment
Before you begin, state the purpose for your meeting and acknowledge to the staff member(s) that the conversation you are about to have is going to be difficult. Tell him/her/them you understand how uncomfortable they may be feeling, and that you are there to help, not judge, in order to reach the best possible outcome for all concerned. We have found that just saying this out loud can help change the tone of the conversation by helping everyone become more at ease. Be human!
Listen
We believe (in most instances) the staff member should be heard first. Validating someone’s feelings by listening first is important for a productive two-way conversation. A true two-way conversation means hearing them out, not interrupting or talking over the staff member.
Keep this acronym in mind: WAIT: Why Am I Talking? It helps us remember to fully listen. Be honest, direct and kind
When it is your turn to talk be honest, direct and kind. Think about how it may feel to be on the receiving end of the difficult conversation. Not only are they uncomfortable, many times they may also be really scared. If you do not know the answer, do not answer; it is perfectly fine to say you will get back to them. Then be sure to get the answer to them as soon as possible.
Memorialize your conversation
Following the meeting, document your conversation including who was present, the purpose for the meeting, the date you met, what was discussed and any outcomes, consequences, goals, follow-up meetings, etc. that were determined. This provides history and ensures that everyone is on the same page with a clear understanding of what was discussed and what was determined. Give a copy to all parties concerned and the superintendent, plus place a copy in the personnel file(s). Always end by telling the staff member(s) that they will receive a written summary of the meeting, when they can expect the summary and that they are welcome to submit a written response that will also be placed in their personnel file. In addition to a positive resolution, the outcome we strive for is knowing that staff members leave the table with their dignity intact, feeling heard and respected. Difficult conversations will never be easy, but we have found they can be less difficult when we remember that working in human resources means being human‌ thoughtful, understanding and empathetic.
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