ILLUSTRADO Magazine_Feb 2011

15 FEBRUARY 2011-15 MARCH 2011

XOXO INTER-CULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS • LOVE THY KABAYAN? FASHION: TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT • MAKE LOVE POTIONS THIS SEASON GLOBAL BARRIO NEWS • MY PINOY LIFE IN UGANDA • THE ANNIE B. CHRONICLES

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EDITOR’S NOTE

Photo by Eros Goze

How do I love “me”?

Let me count the ways…

So you’re all set for a date with your other half, your family, your kids, or perhaps even your single girlfriends. The season dictates that we focus on loved ones near and dear. But with all the love talk that goes on in February, I sometimes wonder: When we think of “love,” do we ever think about ourselves?

Self-love is probably one of the widely promoted catchphrases of the new millennium. You’ve heard it from the world’s most popular opinion leaders - from the Dalai Lama, to Oprah Winfrey, to Deepak Chopra, even from our very own Bo Sanchez. You see the concept discussed on talk show upon talk shows, chick flicks, books, sites online, and etc. Yet considering how common this new age philosophy is – very few seem to neither really practice nor even understand it.

And then you look at Filipinos; us folks who have been reared on a steady diet of selfless love and sacrifice; who get into trouble for being over-eager to take care of our families and relatives without leaving anything for our own future; and for whom being pragmatic, when it comes to matters of the heart, is as rare as the kohinoor diamond.

Sometimes, when you look around, you see very little signs that there IS indeed love for self.

But don’t get me wrong, self-love is not about being an egotistic narcissist, drowning in one’s own ‘delusions’ of grandeur, or having the ability to be loud and being able to summon superficial bravado. Nor is it just about giving yourself “me time,” a spa day, or a much needed make-over.

Honest to goodness self-love requires something deeper than just these superficial “feel good” things. It is about true selfacceptance and having self-esteem – knowing and embracing who you really are - your gifts and your limitations both.

It is about realizing your importance and the importance of truly taking care of yourself. Moreso, it is about having selfworth – being aware of your true value, and having the chutzpah to demand what you deserve from life, and the discipline to exercise self-respect.

So while the tendency for you this month is to focus on the outside, it may well be worth it to delve inside of you and to nurture your one and only ‘you,’ because only then can you truly do justice in sharing love to those near and dear.

My dear Illustrado’s, we hope you enjoy this special period – take time to blush, to hug and to kiss.

But never forget to save yourself the biggest love gesture of all.

Taas Noo, Filipino!

LALAINE CHU-BENITEZ Publisher and Editor-in-Chief

4 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Send your letters to: editor@illustrado.net or join the discussion at Ilustrado Magazine’s Facebook page

I just started my term formally this month of January, 16 days to be exact, and I am simply happy to inform you that I have added new Digerati branches in Ras Al Khaimah and Umm Al Quwain. I hope to continue and establish Digerati in all the emirates within the whole year of my presidency. Just like you, I wish to reach out to all our fellow countrymen, and do my best to serve and share my blessings in any way that I could.

Once more, in behalf of our entire organization, we are willing to assist or support your projects.

Thank you for sparing your time…

Supporting Illustrado’s Advocacy Dear Ms. Lalaine, Happy New Year! I hope all is well at your end...

You may not remember me, but I have seen and talked to you a few occasions in the past. Please let me introduce myself - my name is Lee Bautista. I am one of the founders of the Filipino Digerati Association who has always been delighted with your projects and advocacies on giving importance to Filipinas, understanding them, and uplifting their morale especially in a foreign country like the UAE. As one of those Filipinas you are trying to uplift, I am really thankful for your noble deeds and I can say, we Filipinas are lucky to have you, providing valuable influence to our lives.

The last time I heard about your project was last year, when the minidocumentary “The Empowered Filipina” was shared to us by Mary Jane AlveroAl Mahdi. There might have been more news about the project, but since I was not that active in Digerati the past year, and chosen to mellow out the whole year, I must have missed those.

For now, there are few changes. It’s year 2011 and I am the current elected President of Digerati, and would like to continue receiving information from you, your projects and good causes. It will be a great pleasure to support your good intentions, and I hope to develop a good relationship with you, too.

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Sincerely yours, Lilian “Lee” Bautista Filipino Digerati Association Dear Lee, Congratulations on your election as Digerati’s new President and thank you so much for your pledge of support. It makes us happy to see our efforts being appreciated and knowing that the work we do has had some positive effect on people like you.

We wish you and Digerati the best in all your future endeavors. Rest assured, we are also here at your service.

Warm regards, Ed.

2011’s Fab Year-Opener Wow, Illustrado! What a glamorous start to the New Year! Fierce, fun, FABULOUS! You got me so excited when I saw the January 2011 issue – what a great cover and an amazing fashion editorial. From Michael Cinco’s edgy clothes, to the out-of-this-world styling and the notso-typical models – the issue is one, if not, your BEST! You guys are growing to be our very own homegrown Vogue and you do us all proud!!!

Peach Villarin Thank you ILLUSTRADO team for the fabulous fashion feature. Thanks Lalaine for encouraging me to show the other side of my couture world. Thanks to Eros Goze for a beautiful editorial and to the talented Ginno Alducente for

the hair and make-up. Special thanks to Ushi Sato, Garimon Roferos, Olga Nurek, Ray Camay, Eric Chris Sapaula, and to the fabulous model Izchka Veruzchka, thank you!!!

Michael Cinco Absolutely outstanding Congratulations!!!!

Clarita De Quiroz

new

photos!

The best magazine in the Gulf! A big kudos to the Illustrado team for consistently churning out impressive issues! Your January 2011 edition is stupendous!

I always like your photos, the mix of informative articles, as well as Annie B’s funny adventure. What would we do without Illustrado to share the best of Pinoys with us every month? Keep doing what you’re doing!

Marvin Camaclang

Illustrado Photo Biennial Greetings *On the announcement of the qualifying photographers to our coffee table book project Congrats to all OPPPS members who made the cut for the Illustrado Magazine Biennial coffee table book project! Well done guys!

We are proud of you!

OPPPS Congratulations to my photographer friends who made it to Illustrado Magazine’s The Filipino Biennial Coffee Table Book Project.

Hurray!

Tinayums Bernice Taas noo ako dyan! Congratz to all the staff! Mabuhay!

Red Mellituz Congrats Lalaine and the whole Illustrado team. I’m always here to support you!!!

Mabuhaya ang lahing Pilipino!

Quay Evano Congrats Illustrado! Ipagpatuloy nyo ang magandang adhikain nyo para bigyang puwang ang talento at kaisipan ng mga Pilipino upang linangin ito at pagyamanin...

Gener Asuncion A big thanks to Illustrado for making Filipinos proud and united once again!

Congratulations to all!

Neil Armstrong II

CONTRIBUTORS Ana Santos

Bo Sanchez

You’ve probably already read his best-selling books, attended one of his seminars, or even seen him on TV or online. Bo Sanchez – or Bro. Bo, doesn’t really need any introduction. This Ten Outstanding Young Men (TOYM) awardee, best-selling author and respected speaker shares worthwhile words of wisdom with Illustrado readers in his column on Spirituality.

This month of love, he asks the question ‘Are you malnourished for Love?’ and gives us a prescription on exactly what our hearts need for well-being.

Illustrado’s Associate Editor Ana Santos looks into the other side of inter-racial relationships – this time from the not-so-common angle of the Pinoy male with a foreign female partner. Ana, who writes for glossies in the Philippines, as well as foreign wires on specific women’s issues, and also runs www.sexandsensibilities.com (SAS), a website with culturally sensitive sexual health information for young Filipinas, spent a privileged 9-year stint in the corporate world, before making a drastic career move to pursue her advocacies as a journalist and sexual health advocate.

Loraine Balita Freelance writer Loraine Balita is also a teacher at the De La Salle University and modern day nomad travelling the world during her breaks. The hopeless romantic and ‘always in love’ Loraine talks about devotion that goes the distance in this edition’s feature ‘Love Beyond Borders’ – a look at long distance relationships which is a common fact of life in the increasingly globalized world we live in.

Aby Yap

Francisco J. Colayco Resident personal finance guru Francisco J Colayco discusses a sensitive and often untouchable topic to a lot of Filipino couples - love and money. In this issue, he shows us the practical side of amore, something for those in love to seriously ponder on, to avoid related stress and arguments. Illustrado’s Kabuhayan columnist has several best-selling books to his credit, and an advocacy on teaching Filipinos how to prosper.

A force to reckon with in the fashion publishing business in the Philippines, Dr. Marlon Pecjo’s works has graced the covers of the country’s top glossies and has featured the most stunning models and fashions. Originally trained for the medical field, but eventually diverted to his real love of fashion photography, ‘Doc Marlon’s’ images are known for their crisp decisiveness and decidedly first world fashion flare. For this month’s issue, he captures a steamy feature with the season’s hottest Manila styles in ‘Too Close for Comfort.’

Excel Dyquianco Freelance writer, Illustrado contributor Excel Dyquianco writes on a range of different diverse topics like travel, men’s health, sports and hobbies for different publications in the Philippines. For this month, Excel talks about a different type of love – the love for football and how that has changed the lives of some unfortunate youth in the Philippines.

Read his heartwarming story on the Homeless World Cup in ‘For the Love of the Game.’

Ivan Henares Bernadette Reyes Feeding the appetite of our readers for ‘negosyo’ talk every month is Illustrado contributor Bernadette Reyes.

In her column ‘Kabuhayan – Entrepreneurship’ she discusses success stories regarding different types of businesses – from small to medium scale, giving useful tips and ideas to encourage budding entrepreneurs. Just in time for Valentines, Bernadette teaches us how to make money from blending personalized scents. This GMA TV News Reporter is a former business reporter for Today Independent News, as well as an active contributor in various publications in and out of the Philippines.

Ivan is very passionate about travelling and our country’s heritage; he is not only a popular blogger, a tourism lecturer and consultant, but he is also a Philippine Heritage activist who sits as a member of the Board of Trustees of the Heritage Conservation Society. In this issue, Ivan talks about the Rizal Heritage Trail a project slated to be launched by the Heritage Conservation Society, along with the Department of Tourism (DOT) and the Intramuros Administration to commemorate our national hero’s 150th birth anniversary in June.

Publisher & Editor-in Chief Lalaine Chu-Benitez Associate Editor Ana Santos CONTRIBUTING WRITERS UAE, Philippines, USA Aby Yap JR Bustamante Anna Lorraine Balita Jude Cartalaba Bernadette Reyes Karen Galarpe Bo Sanchez KC Abalos Carlito Viriña Krip Yuson Chayie Maligalig Lawrence Diche David Poarch Shar Matingka Excel Dyquiangco Toni Loyola Flordeliz Samonte Sonny Guzman Francisco Colayco Vic Lactaoen Isabel Warren Victor Sollorano Isabelo Samonte Ivan Henares Jack Catarata Jesse Edep ART DIRECTORS Tom Bolivar Paula Lorenzo Ron Perez CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS UAE Illuminado Ong Pot Ph Ik Lumberio Melandro Sanggalang Mac Antonio Jit Sanggalang Eros Goze CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS PHILIPPINES Dr. Marlon Pecjo Glenn Peter-Perez Filbert Kung CONTRIBUTING STYLISTS & FASHION TEAM UAE Zekundo Chu Basil Yunting Jessie Tabla Ginno Alducente PUBLISHER - UAE Illustrado Communications FZ-LLC 2nd Floor, Building 2, P.O. Box 72280 Office 20C Dubai Media City, UAE Tel: +9714 365 4543, 365 4547 Fax:+9714 360 4771 E-mail: admin@illustrado.net, info@illustrado.net Web: www.illustrado.net, www.illustrado.agilaglobal.net PRINTERS PRINTWELL PRINTING LLC P.O. Box 18828 Dubai, UAE Copyright Illustrado Communications FZ-LLC 2006-2011. All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of Illustrado Communications FZ-LLC.

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CONTENTS

FEB 2011

Filipino ‘hybrid’ models Jackie Milner and Robert Taatjes pose for Illustrado’s romantic fashion feature ‘Too Close for Comfort.’

FEATURES

Love Beyond Borders – Long Distance Relationships 12 Interracial Couples 18 Love thy Kabayan? 22 The Homeless World Cup: For the Love of the Game 69

18

REGULAR COLUMNS

Editor’s Note 1 Letters 4 Contributors 6 Contents 7 Illuminati – Happy Ballantine’s 10 Pinoy Pro 26 Kabuhayan: Make Love (Potions) This Season 28 Kabuhayan: Love and Money 32 Spirituality: Are You Malnourished for Love? 36 Illustrado Scrapbook 40 Onli in da Pilipins: Love, Actually 82 Annie B. Chronicles: It’s a Dates! 84

FASHION

Fashion: Too Close for Comfort 42 Furne One: Step Aside Queen. Make Way for the King 60 Illustrado Runway: Rocky Gathercole in New Look 2011 63

PEOPLE & PLACES

Five Things to Do 65 Global Barrio News 66 My Pinoy Life in Uganda – Nyx Martinez 74 Trippin’: The Rizal Heritage Trail 78 Trippin’: The New Luneta – Bonifacio High Street 80

60

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10 ILLUMINATI

Happy Ballantine's!

By Krip Yuson

Oh, please. Don't ask me to perorate about love at this time of year, not in my birth month of February. Too many things happen in the course of this briefest of months — allegiance to which draws the usual Pinoy jibe about being kulang-kulang, meaning short of sanity.

I've always thought that the Febrero-born are special people. For one, we're the only ones who can ascribe — to our month — an exact lunar cycle equal to the four usual weeks. Then every fourth or Leap Year, the month gets even more unique by having an extra day, the 29th.

Hey, no one among Manny Pacquiao's ring conquests was ever that dejado. It's as if the annual calendar went juramentado and said, “Hey, you, you're born on this day”, so if you believe in "burpday" parties as an official reckoning of your cake candles or years, you can claim to only be 25 when you actually turn centenarian.

I've known at least two people who were born on that day, which is called the bissextus. Look it up. It has nothing to do with sex, but all about a veritable Lotto-like draw for one's natal day, at odds of 366-to-1.

Worse, someone born in the bissextus just has to be Piscean, on the very cusp between the first and second decanates of this particular sun sign. Each zodiac has three, roughly ten-day periods. And of course the sign's image is that of two fish swimming in opposite

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ILLUMINATI 11

Supermarket cashiers ring merrily. Mayors organize kissfests billed as ‘Lovapaloozas’ to land in the Guinness Book of Records for most number of lips moist or dry engaged in simultaneous lock-ins.

Stores run out of candles, which replace adobo on darkened dining rooms. Poetry readings are scheduled on this very day, and everyone knows what sort of poems will be read and applauded, or intimately shared.

Motels hit 110% occupancy. Singletons drink wine when they're with other singletons of the fairer sex (there goes that word again!), or lotsa beer or rhum or whisky if they're going lugubriously stag. And entire videoke tables will sing along with Elvis: "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" — while adolescent hawkers insensitively underscore one's alone-ness by offering short-stem roses at midnight discount rates.

Oh, and it's the birthday of no less than Kris Aquino, not to mention Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile. directions. Now all that could provoke amateur psychologizing from among jocund friends, who may come up with something they think clever, like a teasing charge of being borderline bipolar.

As if that weren't bad enough (in a curious kind of way), only recently this Piscean's faith in his horoscope was toggled by a horrific claim: that he or she hasn't really been Piscean, but Arian (typically assertive and physical, if not war-like). Just because of some astronomical quirk that sounds more like a dental or religious term: precession.

No, it's not what precedes a procession, such as an ice cream vendor, but has something to do with the changing tilt in the earth's axis, causing a shift in the positions of constellations.

What happens to all the accepted innate qualities such as a dreamy gentleness, when one is now told he was born aggressive? Why, that's like hearing how that what one always knew to be called the missionary position has a new if authentic billing: "Thrusting Like the Swallow's Tail While Prone." Can't be the same banana, surely, even if it does seem that all of our reveries about the so-called love month ultimately lead to sex.

Oh, okay, let's euphemize that as passion. Maybe because it's the shortest month, it has to try harder to condense all narrative into a love story. That's why at the very midpoint of this four-week month, on the 14th, everyone goes loony, placing women on a pedestal by gifting them with red roses and dark chocolates, and maybe even mutually horny, when gifts are actually exchanged.

So make mine Ballantine's, 30 years old, a wonderful blend that can give my favorite single malts (like Singleton, a 12-year-old from Dufftown, Speyside, Scotland) a liquid run for their character.

Ah, yes, that's what this love month has: lotsa character. In Western climes, it's the chilliest finale to winter, soon to be upstaged by Spring.

Among our students, it's the prelude to final exams, promotion or graduation. It's enough to make anyone go multi-taskingly loco if not juramentado, having to save up for that Valentine's Day gift and/or date while worrying about cramming, cramming, cramming everything into just one lunar cycle while remembering that Kris and JPE share their assigned birth stone, amethyst, with George Washington.

Or did that gem change, too, because of starry precession? Oh, why can't it just be love month throughout the year, decade, century, millennium? Why give cheaters scheduling problems with their other lovers or mistresses? Why don't we all just drink whisky, 30 years old and still trustworthy, and we get to pop the bottle at the head of the table if it's not in a Chinese restaurant? Make that Ballantine's, soon after the Chinese New Year.

Now wait a minute. Does eastern astrology also get affected by that drunken master that is our planet's axis? Will it really be the Rabbit Year upon us starting this month, suggesting we propagate as cwazily as 'em cute furballs?

Methinks I'm going cwazy with all these questions. I must be in love again, if day to day.

12 FEATURE

Love Beyond

Borders

By Loraine Balita

“Ced was part of a band in high school. My friend, who was their bassist, introduced him to me. Then we became close friends,” Angel Matunog giddily recalls. The high school sweethearts soon became a couple and were happily counting anniversaries. But it was not until their 9th year together that their love was put to the test.

Angel was offered a job as an analyst for a bank in Singapore.

While there was the fear of putting a strain on their relationship, the pull of greater opportunities abroad and the promise of making a better life for herself and her family, made the then 26-year old accept the offer. Now, after a year of being miles apart, they have managed to make the relationship work.

Millions of Filipinos are venturing outside of the country each year in search of the proverbial greener pastures. Angel is one among the millions of Filipinos who have left a loved one back home.

According to the Social Weather Station National Survey of 2004, over 52% of Filipino families have loved ones living and working abroad. This percentage includes the millions of couples who are now in what people call long distance relationships or LDRs.

Call Me When You Get There

On any given day, at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport, you will witness a scene straight out of a StarCinema movie. It is a sea of goodbyes — those leaving give those left behind a final hug while whispering a promise that is both heartbreaking and filled with hope: “I’ll come back for you.” or “We’ll be together again soon!”

This was the exact same scene 27- year-old Vanj Reamico played out

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with her entrepreneur boyfriend, three years ago. (Vanj now 27, is still in Riyadh working as a nurse and her significant other Mike, 27,is still waiting in the Philippines. “ “We talk everyday,” she says. For years, they have kept in touch through chat.

Even with her busy schedule in the hospital, she manages to squeeze in a few minutes to call Mike during her vacant hours. She admits that throughout the three years that they’ve been apart, the time difference is the biggest challenge they’ve had so far. She tells those new to LDRs to always tell their partners how much they love them and to “always make time for each other.”

Take Aiza Victor’s case, whose story seems right out of a Koreanovela.

Two years ago, Aiza, a 26-year old language Instructor was introduced to Yang, 30, a Korean engineer. The two soon fell in love and became inseparable. “He would patiently wait for me in my building's lobby everyday,” she recalls. Things changed a year after when her boyfriend had to fly back to Seoul for work. “It was hard for me to let him go, but as soon as he made a promise to come back, it became easier for me,” Aiza shares.

FEATURE 13 One of the challenges of being in an LDR according to Kate is the financial aspect. “Let’s admit it, those text messages, phone, and WIFI bills will add up and eat most of your monthly budget,” she says.

The two have managed to overcome the challenges though and be together. Now, they’re the proud parents of an adorable baby boy named Eros.

“The first three months were difficult,” she says. Even while they went online to chat every night, getting used to not having her boyfriend around was hard. “Everywhere I looked, I saw traces of us being happy together,”she recalls.

She eventually discovered that the distance had actually benefitted their relationship. “We learned how to appreciate each other more and we value the few occasions that we are together,” she declares.

“Couples in LDR should use distance to make their bonds stronger,” she says. “If the person is worthy, why not go for the happy ending?” she asks.

Aiza and the others are just a few of the Filipinos who, in the recent years, have become bolder and braver in subjecting their relationships to the test of distance thanks to technology.

Love Online

In a research done by Professor Almond Pilar Aguila, of the UP College of Mass Communication, titled “Living Long Distance Relationship Through Computer Mediated Communication (CMC)”, CMC has helped Filipinos develop a greater acceptance of migration.

CMCs or communication done using the Internet and cellular phones have helped couples have a more optimistic view of overseas employment. Being sent abroad for work and leaving one behind does not mean the end of a relationship anymore. “Somehow, they felt that the sacrifices made in the name of financial security were no longer as overwhelming as they were before the existence of the Internet and cell phones,” says Aguila But technology has not just been used to maintain a long distance relationship. For some, it’s through technology that they found it.

Kate Lariosa, 27, for instance, was working as a call center agent in Libis when she met a Filipino USAF engineer named Christopher through a social networking site. “We talked every hour!” she says.

“We basically talked every day, we used everything from Yahoo Messenger, to emails, chat, phone calls, text messages,” she narrates.

After two years, Chris, 29, flew to the Philippines and married his online sweetheart. It took them another year before Kate was able to follow her husband to the States.

Although Aileen Obsiana-Srdic, 27, on the other hand would have to wait to have her own bundle of joy, she feels that she too has reached her happy ending with her husband Branko, 42, an Australian Operations Supervisor, who she met through social networking site, Tagged.com. Aileen, who worked as a System Specialist for Wyeth Phillipines before recently moving to Australia to be with her man, advises those in LDRs to “start with an end in mind.” Couples should always think that having an LDR is just temporary and soon they will be together.

Although we’ve seen some LDRs that have worked and are still working for most, some stories don’t end happily ever after. In a study

by Dr. Gregory Guldner, author of 'Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide” he found that 70% of LDRs don’t work especially for couples who fail to adapt to changes or set rules.

Distance Took Its Toll

Debbie Brillante, 23 is one of those whose LDR didn’t stand the test of time and distance. She met Carlo,28, during a surfing trip to La Union in 2006. They dated for a year before Debbie moved back to California. Things went smoothly at first. They would chat almost everyday. But things changed when she got a job as a healthcare customer service representative and couldn’t stay in front of the computer as often.

When Carlo, who was then managing his own business in the Philippines, went through an emotional time, he felt that Debbie wasn’t there for him. The calls and emails just weren’t enough and they eventually broke up in 2009.

While it is evident that LDRs work for most and not for some it has indeed changed the way all of us view relationships. LDRs have given new meaning to love going beyond borders. Love is so powerful it could vanquish geographical borders and start, be nourished and sustained (or end) even from thousands of miles away.

Telecommuting Marriage

She was a Filipina PhD student at the University of Bonn in Germany.

He was a Bangladeshi visiting on a two-month academic fellowship.

She walked in late into a class that they were both in, and surprised him by having the temerity to sit in front and ask questions. He was immediately impressed.

That’s how Anabelle Ragsag, a 34 –year old international organization professional, describes first meeting her husband Ahsan Ullah, 39, a professor of migration and refugee studies at an international university in Cairo. After they started dating, Ullah flew back to Hong Kong, where he was completing his own PhD.

14 FEATURE The two managed to talk every day. Skype and Chikka, plus cheap phone rates between Germany and Hong Kong helped – along with some ingenuity. “We timed our attendance to academic conferences and met in neighboring countries. He also visited Germany a few times I was there,” says Anabelle. “We were dating inter-continentally for three years before we decided to tie the knot. Now, we’re running three years as a married couple,” says Anabelle.

Previously, home to the two was Cairo, Egypt. But once again, Anabelle and Ullah find themselves apart. Anabelle accepted a post with an international organization in Jakarta and Ullah continues to teach in Cairo.

Like most OFs searching for greener pastures, Dodong’s job offer was too good to decline. “In as much as I didn’t want him to leave, I had no choice but to be happy for him and let him go to the hot desert sands of Dubai on March 9, 2008,” says Inday.

She decided to put up the blog after she attended an internet marketing and professional blogging class in February of 2009. “We had to look into one’s life path and decide on a project to pursue in class. I thought of our LDR and how other people must be going through the same thing. Like the nerdy student that I am, I did my research. Then I discovered that the Philippines was the top - as in number one - region with interest in the key words: long distance relationships,” says Inday.

That was the light bulb moment. Inday set up “Loving the Distance.”

“Loving the Distance is the story of my journey getting over the LDR trauma and how we survive on a day to day basis. Sometimes I even think it gets a tad bit boring because I’d like to write about how much I miss him every single day, so I share other LDR stuff. I blog about our struggles, our dreams, places and things to do together and more - that hopefully does help my readers,” says Inday of the thousands of others who had shared an interest in the keywords “long distance

“We both have high respect for each other’s capacities and potentials. We are cheerleaders and number one fan of each other.

Outside of romantic context, we have a sincere admiration of each others’ craft. In this day and age, and in our experience of moving around the world, sometimes opportunities present themselves for this growth in different places. But our overarching philosophy is to see each other’s potential bloom, and for us, that is how we can love each other the most. So that explains why I am in Indonesia and he is in Egypt,”Anabelle explains.

Being in a LDR has made Anabelle realize something about the context of physical togetherness.

“There is a reason why we have many senses. And even the word “seeing” has various qualitative and quantitative meanings. Seeing eye-to-eye does not only mean seeing each other physically, but also of a meeting of the minds and hearts. In the case of LDR, it is very important that you and your partner are on the same page, weaving the same dreams, reaching for the same goals, both realizing and willing to make certain sacrifices, and committed to share in the responsibilities.” Anabelle concludes.

Loving the Distance

In a blog called “Loving the Distance”, 29-year Inday I. Nagintay (rough translation: lady in waiting), is literally waiting for the love of her life.

She is waiting for her boyfriend Dodong D. Cierto (rough translation: Man of the Desert), also 29, who has been working in the bastion of luxury in the middle east, Dubai UAE as a systems engineer for the last two years.

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relationships.”

Now, together for a total of nine years and being in an LDR for the last two years, Inday has come up with five tips for those who have just started in their LDRs: The distance will force both of you to COMMUNICATE. Take this wonderful opportunity to do so. Thank the Technology Gods that there are so many ways to do so: chat, email, VoIP, text, old fashioned snail mail, etc.

• Accept that both of you have lives to LIVE, so don’t be a hermit, revolving every minute of your life to “chasing after” him/her.

Recognize that if you have the home court advantage, you have family and friends to spend time with as well.

• Create a sacred TIME for each other. Especially when you’ve gotten the groove of each other’s routine. We actually have not established together time, but chatting after work is kind of our quality time.

• This one I practice even if we did not have oceans between us: revel in the BIGNESS OF THE SMALLEST OF GESTURES. For me, it really is the little expressions of love that help build and sustain a relationship.

• The hardest aspect - one thing that I still struggle with every single day apart – is TRUST. It will take a lot of work because both parties need to establish a firm reason why one should trust the other. But in the end, this will be the one that will keep the two of you together.

A M M 010 C t a ds 2 t s i al war n i s F edia A a en e M s o Ch ippin l i h P

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issue

49

18 FEATURE

Inter-Cultural

Relationships

By Ana Santos

It’s quite a familiar fairytale. John Smith sails Pocahontas’ village and is enthralled by the dusky, dark-haired beauty. They fall in love and their relationship comes to symbolize a meeting of two world and two cultures.

We don’t often hear of similar stories, the other way around. In this month’s issue of Illustrado, we talk to three different couples who talk about their experiences and views on being in an inter-cultural relationship. In each of their stories, John Smith is the woman and Pocahontas is the man.

When they say that a man’s work can speak for itself, they could be pertaining to Medardo Cadiz, a 57 year old architect who has built and designed numerous buildings, hotels and shopping complexes in the Philippines, UAE, Turkey and Georgia (Russia).

Medardo and his wife, Liza, have called Singapore, Australia, the US and the Philippines their home in their twenty two years of marriage.

It was in the US where Medardo first met Liza. “Our offices were located in the same building. I asked her to have lunch with me. She told me, she had a hair appointment. I thought it was a polite brush–off, but when we saw each other again, she asked me out to lunch,” he laughs. “One year later, we were married.”

But he says that it is only in Dubai, where he and Liza “frequently experience people not viewing us as a couple.”

Medardo Cadiz and wife Liza

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Liza, an American, is not readily associated as being Medardo’s wife.

FEATURE 19 Medardo laughs as he recounts a weekly experience, “When we go shopping together and get in the queue to pay, the cashier will say, “Sorry sir, I will finish with Madam and I will be attend to you in a minute.”

“When this happened the first time, I was offended and shocked. But then I realized that she [the cashier] didn’t mean anything bad by it.

She just assumed we were not together, because perhaps she has never seen an Asian man with a Caucasian woman.”

Good naturedly, Medardo adjusted to the situation. “After the same incident happened so many times, I learned quickly not to let this occurrence bother me.”

Medardo admits though that it poses some complications in the most ordinary of occurrences, like dining out. “One time, I came early and was seated at one end of the restaurant. Lisa came later, thinking that I was late and was seated at the opposite end. For the next half hour, we were there seated separately until we discovered each other by accident.”

the exposure to the American family values Lisa has shared with me is invaluable. I admire and respect their family’s genuine love and care for each other. When we sit together around the dinner table, the discussion is open, honest and always about meaningful subjects. There’s never ever any ‘gossip.’”

For her part, Lisa has also embraced the Filipino culture and way of life which she views as fun-loving and outgoing. “My honest view is that it is really up to the Filipino man to have the credibility and ability to lead a family and his household, whether he is married to a Filipina or a foreigner, in a way that is based on trust and mutual respect,” says Medardo.

Just as a man’s work can speak for itself, Medardo and Liza’s twenty two years of marriage speaks volumes about being in an intercultural relationship.

“Another memorable incident was when our children started school here at the Dubai American Academy. When they met other students who were half-Filipino, the first question the other kids asked them was, “What province in the Philippines is your mother from?”

When their kids told their friends that it was their father who was from the Philippines, Medardo says, “They couldn’t and wouldn’t believe it! They all wanted to come home and meet us.”

The couple explained to their children that in most cases, the common set up is the opposite; the foreign man with a Filipina woman. And after living in Dubai for over five years, and having met many other inter-cultural couples, Medardo admits that they don’t know any other Caucasian woman married to a Filipino man.

But more than two decades of marriage has taught Medardo that it all boils down to having common values, goals and views. It is the same formula any relationship – regardless of culture – needs to survive. And in the ever changing world which is now shrinking to become a global village, this meeting of the minds has more to do with upbringing and education, rather than race.

“We know many other couples of mixed race where the woman is Caucasian and the partnership is on equal footing. If both share the same high level of education, both will have equal say and decision making over the affairs of the family. I have three other brothers who are married to American women as well. I am happy to say that their marriages are successful and are based on equal partnerships,” Medardo shares.

Undeniably, there are perks that are unique to the relationship.

Medardo still marvels at his unique opportunity to live everyday in more than one culture, which has a halo effect on the children. “Our children view themselves as unique and take pride in having two cultures and embrace them equally.”

Medardo speaks lovingly of his wife Liza and her family. “For me,

Irina and Brady

Irina, an NGO program officer based in the Philippines, is very candid about how she realized that she wanted to be in a relationship with 53 year old, Fil-American, Brady.

“Why I say next is a kind of open secret, which Brady likes hearing a lot,” says Irina who unabashedly continues, “When I was leaving for the airport the day I saw Brady seeing me off at the hotel, I felt hot - physically, erotically, sensually - like never before in my life. It was some kind of pure desire to be with that person to the fullest; I did not bother asking myself how and when, I just knew it was going to happen.”

It wasn’t as easy as that though. Irina spent the next three months in Russia and the Netherlands preparing for her move to the Philippines, while Brady was attending to his business in the US. “We did not keep in touch, and both dated other people. We arrived back to Manila on the same day and accidentally met the next morning after our arrival, in Starbucks. It was an immediate recognition and acceptance that this was meant to be. Soon after we moved in together and started what is now the story of Brady and Irina in the making,” the 31 year old says.

Being in an inter-cultural relationship was nothing new to the Dutch national who is an immigrant from Russia, and has lived in what she describes as a very multi-cultural county - The Netherlands.

20 FEATURE

“I can barely recall what it means to be in a mono-cultural relationship.

It was such a long time ago and seems almost unreal,” she says. This thought brings her to another realization - that it has been more than a decade since she has said “I love you” in her mother tongue.

“I am normally the one to switch to the language of my partner Dutch, English, Spanish, French, some Italian and now, it’s basic Tagalog,” she laughs.

Openly, she discusses stereotypes and common reactions to their union.

“Regarding the perceived ‘dominance’ of Caucasian women, I believe it has to do with the ability to set and negotiate the rules of the game in the relationship. When they go for a Filipino guy, the probability is high that he would have already grown some roots in Western society. Therefore, he can easily take part in the rules setting in the relationship, the Western way. So, no need to be dominant for the girl,” she says simply.

For this interview, Irina shared her difficulty relating to the term “inter-racial.” To Irina, this term was more of an external world view of their relationship; a division of the inside and the outside.

Jose Maria “Dixie” Mabanata and wife Claudia

He said, She said:

An Inter-cultural look at how two meet and fall in love Jose Maria “Dixie” Mabanta, 52, impishly recalls how he met his Columbian wife, Claudia Hernandez-Mabanta, 48.

“I never looked at my relationship with Brady as an inter-racial one – though it obviously is - but somehow the difference in skin color or type of facial features never plays in my mind. The physical aspect of the person is a given and normally, I adore it if he is my partner,” she says, putting a rational element to relationship chemistry.

Dixie, a Fil-American, owns and manages a chain of restaurants.

Claudia is also in the restaurant business, and is also into jewelry. The two have been together for four years and are thoroughly enjoying the cross country ride of being in an inter-cultural marriage.

“For the outside world, we are a perfect personification of an interracial couple. Wherever we go, people would comment on the difference in skin color and the potential of improved genes for the next generation. It all sounds so weird to me,” she shares.

To my shock and very pleasant surprise, she kissed me right back.

So I never forgot her. Years later, we were both single again, and we hooked up online - maybe through Facebook. I asked her if she wanted to play golf. She said yes, and we have not been apart since.

“What proves more challenging are the issues of inter-culturality: commonalities and differences in our upbringing, career choices, music preferences, life interests, hobbies, and expectations.”

But Irina is undeterred and as she puts it, remains passionately in love.

“In an intercultural relationship, I enjoy the moment of surprise and the excitement of cracking cultural codes,” Irina says, grinning.

After two and a half years of living together, she says this is all part of the on-going fun and continuously unfolding of “the making of Irina and Brady”.

How did you meet?

He said: We met one night in 1997 or 98, at this bar I had at the time at The Fort. Somehow she caught my eye. She was cute, lively, petite, brunette and Latina. She was physically very different from my then girlfriend, who was, blonde, green eyed, and 5’10.”

At the end of the evening, after having had one rum coke too many, I was feeling a bit daring (and possibly obnoxious), so I walked her to the car and said goodbye by kissing her directly on her lips.

She said: This will be a long story! We were living with different partners then, but we used to go out with mutual friends to parties, and that’s how we met. Time went by and we lost contact for several years. I was assigned to another country, but decided to stay here instead. Dixie thought that I was abroad since we lost contact with each other.

Five years later, we reconnected on Facebook. I don’t even remember how or who added whom. I remember telling him that my previous relationship had not worked out; and casually he told me that he had also broke up few years ago with his girlfriend. But nothing really crossed my mind; for me, he was still a good friend.

We met to play golf after, perhaps, six years of not seeing each other, and that was that.

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FEATURE 21

The more common set up is a foreign man with a Filipina. The other way around is less common. Do you think so?

He said: This is so because most European/North American men have this soft, feminine, small-boned Oriental island girl fantasy in their minds. Many European men are tired of dealing with strongwilled, equality-conscious women in their own cultures and secretly (and not so secretly) yearn for the old days where “men were men and women were women”- Filipinas fit this concept perfectly.

On the other hand, the Asian male does not really fit the physical ideal of masculinity that foreign women have, i.e. big, hairy, muscular, tall, strong-jawed, George Clooney film star looks. So there are fewer mixed race couples where it is the male that is Asian.

She said: Twenty five years ago, most of the set ups that I saw were foreign men with Filipinas. We were one of the few couples in this country who were the opposite. Yes, it was funny then because walking on the streets, people used to give us odd looks. But today, things have changed, I see lots of foreigner girls with Filipinos; they meet at college or abroad. West meets East!

What would you say are the differences and similarities between relationships which are intercultural versus same culture?

He said: I’ve had relationships with women of all types and cultures, and from my own experience, I can say that every woman is different and every relationship is unique. I think it has more to do with individual people than with general cultural distinctions. I’m also lucky that I have a more modern, open-minded perspective than many Filipino men. This is partly to do with how one is raised. If you come from a traditional Filipino family, it might be slightly more difficult to handle a relationship with a foreign woman. Culturally, the differences – like family issues, religion - will be pretty big.

One difference is that when we go to see my wife’s parents, instead of going to another part of Metro Manila or maybe the province, we go to Colombia, halfway around the world [laughs].

She said: Being from Colombia and being married to a Filipino, I find the two cultures have many things in common. Being with my husband has not been very different to being married with a Colombian - both Colombians and Filipinos are charming in their own way. My husband has been very much exposed to the world especially the Latin culture which fortunately he enjoys very much.

Dixie and I have also the same goals and that is another plus in our relationship. We both see ourselves growing old together. We both have a passion to discover the world, travel and share the same dreams. We respect each other, and this is one of the most important points in a relationship. I can be myself in front of him; I have no inhibitions or feel shy about anything.

Though I have to admit, there are some differences. Like I love to dance and he hates it! He has two cats and I hate cats. So yeah, I had to marry the man and his cats, too!

Caucasian women are perceived to be dominant, and thus not compatible with what they call the

“supermacho” Filipino, is there any truth to this statement?

He said: Again, this has to do more with the specific individuals involved in a particular relationship. The “super macho” Filipino male attitude is really a feudal one, belonging to another era. Latin American males are similar. European males are more modern.

Having said that, I see many successful marriages between Pinoy men and white women. I’ve also seen many failed ones. So, it’s really hard to say. Everyone is different. Every relationship is different.

She said: I had never really thought of that, I don’t really think it is true. Compatibility in a couple has to do more with many more factors regardless of ethnicity. Perhaps western women are more independent compared in general to Asian women, but even now that is changing a lot too, because Asian women these days are more independent than years back.

What are the best things about a cross cultural relationship?

He said: Life is a lot more interesting in a cross cultural relationship.

For one, you get to travel and interact with and be a part of another family, another culture, another country. If you happen to like global adventures and are not the insular type of individual, it’s a great thing to experience.

You might have different values, but that could be true between two people of the same race and culture too. So really, it’s like Las Vegas, or in our case, PAGCOR. All relationships are a gamble.

She said: One of the best things is to get to absorb the culture of our partner, in my case the Filipino culture, today I feel that I blend well into it and my husband into my culture, we live day by day with two cultures at the same time, there is a bit of East and West in our lives so the relationship it’s more exciting.

22 FEATURE

Love thy Kabayan?

By Lalaine Chu-Benitez

In the harsh glare of rampant barrio politics, crab mentality and unnervingly presumptuous behavior within the Filipino expat community, do we still have enough reason to love our kabayan?

There is nothing like being abroad to strengthen one’s “Filipinoness.” It is out here, where we exist in contrast with other cultures, that we really get to see, appreciate and sometimes even hate, the nuances that make us uniquely Pinoy.

According to a study conducted by research firm Synovate Philippines for international money transfer company Western Union in August 2010, “Overseas Filipinos (OFs) bring to life global attitudes. As they juggle between adapting to a foreign land and keeping ties with the families they left behind, they have also become conduits of practices, beliefs and values between their host and home countries.

Regardless of their role as agents of cultural change, they remain Filipino in heart and mind, and in some instances become even more fiercely Pinoy in spirit than before they left.”

While all that is good and speaks well of how Filipinos hold on to their values – love for family, loyalty, kindness, spirituality and a willingness to help the needy, there are certain negative cultural traits that we also carry with us wherever we go, and which continue to overshadow our best facets.

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Crabs and village folks It’s very easy for us Pinoys to identify our tendencies – the habits of mañana (leaving things for tomorrow), bahala na (come what may), ningas cogon (leaving things unfinished), pabaya (unmindfulness), puwede na (that’s good enough), as well as pagsasamantala (taking advantage) and pagpapalusot (trying to get away with things) are our native quirks which we have come to loathe ourselves.

These behaviors, however, seem to taper when OFs adjust to life in their adopted countries. According the same Synovate study, 49 percent of those surveyed acquired good traits such as increased independence, punctuality, better observance of laws, as well as improved moral consciousness.

Still, there are certain unsavory characteristics that stay on and, in fact, evolve into Pinoy expat specific bad behavior. Here, the first thing that comes to mind is ‘crab mentality.’ Described by the phrase “If I can’t have it, neither can you.” It is a metaphor which refers to how crabs in a bucket pull each other down in an attempt

FEATURE 23

to get to the top; an attitude mostly experienced in community organizations where there is constant competition to be the best and most popular.

Jun Samiley, an active member of a desert driving association in the UAE reveals, “I hate politics, but that is the norm in our community. In fact, other nationalities ask us - what is wrong with you Filipinos? In our own small group of around 40 active members, hindi nawawala na may mga back-stabbers. But, sad to say, we have to live with it at hindi na mababago sa ating mga Pinoy ang ugaling crab mentality.”

This attitude is further complicated when one considers that Filipino culture, just like other Asian cultures, is very much a culture of face, where status and image are of utmost importance, and where one-upmanship is very common, although people hate to admit it. Chona Perez (not her real name) a senior member of the umbrella Filipino organization in the emirates who wishes to remain anonymous, observes, “Hindi na yata matatanggal ang inggit sa ating mga Pilipino. Ang mahirap, kapag may isang sikat o naging successful, sisiraan ng iba dahil gusto nila, sila ang mas sikat o mas maging matagumpay. Hindi ba pwedeng matuwa na lang tayo para sa mga kabayan natin?”

Vicious crab mentality aside, nobody can fault the open and welcoming persona of most Pinoys – a characteristic highly praised by other nationalities. If you had the chance to travel extensively, you know that there’s this camaraderie which makes it easy for one to approach a kabayan you meet anywhere in the world you go.

However, there is also a thin line between being friendly and being offensively curious or overly familiar. Unfortunately, it comes as no surprise that there are kabayans who will reveal their life story, ask you private questions and even act unnervingly comfortable, though you’ve just met them for the first time. Grace de Leon, of Dubai laments, “Sometimes sobrang nosey ang ibang mga kabayan natin at insensitive din. Yun bang magtatanong ng mga personal na tanong sa taong di naman nila kakilala.”

Abu Dhabi based Agnes Aquino Briggs adds, “It looks like the common problem is familiarity - too soon and too much. I always get mistaken for a Malaysian, Chinese or Singaporean. Then when I start talking in Tagalog - they start calling me ‘ate’ which I don’t mind. But during the rest of the conversation, the service they are providing goes down into a very low standard and they do not even expect you to complain about it because if you did – ‘sobrang arte mo naman kabayan.’” She then adds, “But, of course, there are those kabayans from the service industry who give you preferential treatment simply because you are a kabayan.”

Renuel Sanchez who is a fitness pro in the city of gold recounts bad kabayan experiences while shopping, “We are generally jolly and helpful. But yung ibang kabayan, suplado sa sarili nilang kabayan.

It’s very evident when you are shopping; the Filipino staff look after European customers more than their own kabayans. Kahit nauna ka na sa shop and you are asking for something, they will leave you behind and entertain other nationalities.

24 FEATURE

Though Renuel is quick to point out that his opinion is based on his and his friends’ experiences and that not everyone is like that, Glenn Diaz Cruz from Bahrain, on the other hand, makes a more impassioned complaint, “Sa Bahrain Duty Free ang Pinay na cashier nakasimangot. Tapos, all smiles sa mga ibang lahi.” He continues, “Parang may pinagkaiba ba yung pera ng ibang lahi sa pera ng kabayan nya?”

Living in the Barrio of the World “Society for the Filipino is a small rowboat: the barangay. Geography for the Filipino is a small locality: the barrio,” wrote Philippine National Artist for Literature Nick Joaquin in his essay ‘A Heritage of Smallness.”

There is a larger truth to that simple statement when one considers how the Filipino expats’ behavior is somehow indicative of deeply ingrained ‘barrio mentality’ – that no matter how far we’ve gone far from the motherland and into the world, we will always have a distinct sense of belonging to the same small village that is our virtual home.

That inevitable feeling of kinship brings with it both perks and disadvantages. So while we benefit from the warm, easy, welcoming and quick to help attitude of our kabayans, we also can’t avoid the negatives that come when our lives are so closely woven with one another, giving truth to the idiom – “familiarity breeds contempt.” Presumptuousness, meddling, neglect, competitiveness and carelessness are issues which can only manifest from close relationships - just as partners, siblings and close friends can only be the best and worst of enemies.

Certainly, there is still an enormous amount of kindness and ‘good Samaritanism’ with Filipinos around the world. We belong to a community where it is common to welcome and help complete strangers; one that comes to the rescue when our own people are in need. Natural Filipino warmth and camaraderie seem banal when you compare them with how OFs take it upon themselves to raise millions to aid disaster victims back home, or how the community throws fund raisers for the poor and destitute, for the ill who cannot afford treatment, and for distressed kabayans who have fallen into bad situations outside the country. We lend a hand, we give an ear.

We provide cash, goods and our protection, sometimes, even to our own detriment.

Surely, such magnanimity and generosity of spirit more than redeems all the bad nuances and grievances kabayans might have with each other.

There is always room for us to improve – most certainly.

So while we sustain the best things about being of the “barrio” – our warmth, our kindness and camaraderie – we should couple our sense of kinship with all the positive facets and big ideas which we have acquired as citizens of the world. It’s time to hold a mirror onto ourselves, call-out our mistakes and use the opportunity to rid ourselves of our ugly pettiness and useless negativity. Positive change, not unconditional tolerance, is what we need.

But while we are far from perfection, it pays to know and understand that all these flaws, no matter how inconvenient, unpleasant and irritating, are still a small price to pay for being part of the same devoted family.

Love thy kabayan. Period.

Furthermore, although some would argue that certain negative traits are closely linked, if not, identified with our culture, bad behaviors, by and large, are not exclusive to the Filipino.

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26 PINOY PRO Celebrating the Professional Pinoy

Marlon Carandang Mangubat Manager - Engineering Department Pracsi International Dubai, United Arab Emirates As a student of the Meralco Foundation Institute, Marlon was a consistent academic awardee. Among his many scholastic achievements was getting a scholarship grant from Meralco. He started his professional career working for a Japanese company in the Philippines in 1997 as a DCS Systems Engineer. His position gave him many opportunities to travel to other countries like Japan, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, and even Saudi Arabia for trainings and seminars. In his position, Marlon worked his way up to Senior Engineer and then Lead Engineer. In January 2004, Marlon decided to accept the offer to work in Dubai as a Senior Engineer for Prasci, an engineering firm dealing with control systems integration, catering mostly in the field of Oil and Gas, Petrochemicals, and Refineries within the GCC region. With his hardwork and commitment, he was eventually promoted as Lead Engineer in Pracsi only after six months of joining. Last year, Marlon was awarded the “Most Outstanding Employee of the Year” honor and it was in October of the same year, when he was again given a new work challenge that came with the new title of Engineering Manager.

Marlon believes that having the passion for his work, believing in himself, great courage and willpower, and above all, faith with the one and only creator are key to achieving any goals you set in life. He enjoys traveling to different countries on-the-job and loves meeting different types of people and learning and understanding their cultures. The engineer, with his wife and four children all live in Dubai.

Sheryll Ann Caisido Key Account Manager Perfect Solutions International Dubai Media City, United Arab Emirates St. Scholastica AB Mass Communications graduate Sheryll Ann Caisido dabbled in many fields and industries in the Philippine corporate world before deciding to go to Dubai. She did banking, political public relations, sales and marketing for financial institutions and FMCG, before she eventually shifted to events and exhibitions.

Looking for a change of pace and a new adventure in her life, Sheryll decided to try out Dubai after hearing about the city while working at Environment’s Collaborative, an Information and Communications Technology company, where most of their designers where being pirated for positions in the emirates. She applied for a job, landed a post at PICO Dubai LLC as Interior/Exhibition Sales Executive and arrived in Dubai in September 2005. From there, she worked her way to Account Executive and eventually Account Manager, joining another company, The Image Works, where she stayed for three years, honing her skills in business development, client management, design presentation, and project management. Thereafter, she moved briefly to Thomas Bennett Group and then to her current company Perfect Solutions International where she functions as Key Account Manager for Exhibitions.

After four companies in the emirates, almost six years of working in key roles in numerous exhibitions, meeting different clients from all over the world, Sheryll hopes to establish her own exhibitions design contracting company someday, and help create more opportunities for fellow kababayans out here, as well.

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Sky Zarris Manapat Design Director Santini Uniform and Designs Solutions LLC Dubai, United Arab Emirates Fashion has always been a part Sky Zarris Manapat’s life, even as a student of Fine Arts major in Advertising at the University of Santo Tomas, where he excelled in fashion and its advertising and promotions. His love for theater and the performing arts lead him into costume design for musicals and plays. Gaining technical experience by working for an apparel company, Sky set up his own label called “Exist,” and created clothes for product promotion events, singing groups like “Kaya,” musicals such as Dreamgirls, as well as band album covers. Before he left for the Gulf, Sky worked as an onscreen make-over expert for the show “Liga ng Kababaihan” hosted by Lyn Ching on QTV11, sister company of GMA7.

Sky’s first project in the region was to design all the hospitality uniforms for the 2006 Doha Asian Games. After a five month stint in Doha, he was transferred to the head office of Santini Uniforms and Design Solutions in Dubai. Here, Sky honed his expertise in the uniform business and upped the game in the sector by offering only exclusive styles to a stable of prestigious clients. Currently, Sky not only designs within the emirates, but also for other countries in the region and says he is having the time of his life doing it.

Rhoda Morillo Capio Accounting Manager ADECCO INTERNATIONAL DUBAI LLC, DUBAI, UAE Dubai, United Arab Emirates CPA Rhoda Morillo Capio, Bachelor of Science in Accountancy gradute from the University of Santo Tomas started her career as a humble clerk at Prudential Bank. After two years in her first job, she was appointed Chief Accountant in Continuum Technology Corporation, also in Manila. In 199, upon passing her board exams, she earned a position at the prestigious KPMG Manila as Senior Associate in the company’s Tax Department.

There, Rhoda annualized income tax liabilities, answered queries and analyzed letters of assessments (LOAs) for clients to ensure settlement of their obligations to the Bureau of Internal Revenue appropriately. She eventually moved to Dubai in 2006, and joined multinational company Oceaneering International as a Tax Accountant. From there, Rhoda progressed to her current job in Adecco International – a company she joined in 2009.

As Accounting Manager, Rhoda has played a pivotal role in the development and implementation of numerous cost saving initiatives for the company. She is also personally responsible for the creation of effective policies and procedures for internal controls, accounting, financial planning and reporting, as well as managing a number of special projects.

Rhoda, together with her husband and three kids all reside in the UAE.

28 kabuhayan EnTREPREnEuRShIP

Make Love (Potions )

this season

By Bernadette Reyes

This season of love, make money out of personalized sensual scents and blends or make one as a gift for your loved ones.

Sisters Bettina and Nicole Huang, owners of Grasse Fragrance, talk about their nose for business as well as fragrances.

Bettina and Nicole never thought they would end up in the fragrance business. However, since their family has long been in the packaging business for cosmetics, they thought engaging in a related business would give them an edge.

On a proverbial leap of faith, in 2006, the sisters started attending fragrance seminars and trainings in France. Shortly after, they set up their own fragrance business called Grasse Fragrance, named after a city in France best-known for making perfumes.

Since then, Grasse Fragrance has been the exclusive distributor of France-based fragrance company, Expressions Parfumees. They have also been teaching people how to make fragrances for business or as a personal scent.

produce 40 perfumes and 20 to 30 bottles of massage oils (depending on size). While capital may be kept at a minimum, Bettina advises entrepreneurs to buy in bulk if their capital permits. “While we also sell in small volume, it is more cost effective to buy in bulk.”

Start-up business owners, says Bettina, usually sell their products to neighbors, friends and officemates for personal use or as souvenirs for special occasions such as Christening, weddings and debuts. For a wider distribution channel, these products may be sold or consigned in bazaars, malls, spas and beauty stores. Depending on one’s marketing skills, the capital may be recovered in a week or a month.

Interested individuals and groups may take a trip to the training facility and supplies store in Makati for a one-time seminar which lasts for about 1 – 2 hours. The seminar fee of PHP800 already covers supplies to get you started.

Sniffing out an entrepreneurial opportunity

Apart from learning how to mix their own perfume blends, participants are also taught how to make their own product, cost them out and package them.

With capital of PHP10,000, an aspiring entrepreneur can already

A wide range of packaging materials are available in the store from bottles and containers to boxes and paper bags. A printing facility where entrepreneurs can make their own label for their products is available for participants to use. However, to cut back on costs, entrepreneurs may choose to make their own label at home using sticker labels.

“We import fragrance oils from France and sell it to big manufacturers in the Philippines. The other part of the business is we teach entrepreneurs how to start their own business by making fragrances and other related products,” says Bettina, 27, who established Grasse Fragrance with her older sister, Nicole, 30.

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kabuhayan EnTREPREnEuRShIP 29 While many similar businesses have emerged in recent years, Bettina believes the market is far from being saturated. “You always have a different take on products. Even if you sell the same products you can change the packaging and marketing style. The possibilities are endless,” she says. But creativity is only half of the equation. Hard work, as in any business, is still crucial to succeed. “A lot of our clients who made it are the ones who keep a close eye on their business.

Their supervision remains so the quality remains the same.”

The same creativity and hard work put in by sisters Nicole and Bettina made their business a success. Bettina, who took up Marketing in Sta. Clara University in the US, handles the marketing side of the business. Nicole, a graduate of Communications Technology in Ateneo de Manila University takes charge of back operations.

“The capital you need to start your own business isn’t that much.

A lot of Overseas Filipinos (OFs), they come home and they don’t know where to invest their money. We show them that they can use their money for business,” says Bettina.

A lot of others seem to have gotten a whiff of this idea as numerous people from all walks of life enter the store everyday because of their interest in fragrances as a business or hobby.

Bettina says it could be tough working with a family member since they get to talk about the business even when they are already home but she wouldn’t have gotten any other partner if it weren’t her sister.

“This gives us the chance to work together and we know we have the same goals and we know we can trust each other.”

The heady scent of success

Aside from selling their products in the store, Grasse Fragrance also ship supplies to entrepreneurs in the provinces. The sisters are currently working on how to launch distribution offshore as they get a lot of inquiries from abroad. They are currently putting up a facility for an online store to further expand their reach with Dubai and Bahrain as possible the areas for expansion.

Recently, the company also introduced home fragrances such as reed diffuser which is a kind of air freshener, linen sprays and room spray. “The quality of the products we make is comparable to that of imported products,” says Bettina.

From a variety of 20 fragrances since the business started to over a hundred selections today, Grasse Fragrance is making an impressive success because as the company grows, Bettina and Nicole know that somewhere, someone is repeating their success, whether as a budding entrepreneur making a business work, a hobbyist concocting a new scent or simply a lover making a love potion for a partner this Valentine’s Day.

Grasse Fragrances started out using their fragrance oils to make personalized perfumes and colognes. They have since expanded their product line to include ready-made bases for other body care products such as shampoo, conditioner, body scrub and massage oil.

Make your own massage oil: 1. Measure mineral oil e.g. sweet almond oil

2. Measure the fragrance oil.

3. Pour in the fragrance oil into the mineral oil and stir.

4. Add food coloring if you want.

Make your own love potion no. 5 at Grasse Fragrance: 1. Measure the fragrance base. (Choose from perfume, EDT or cologne)

2. Compute how much quantity of each mixture you need. For cologne example: 75 percent alcohol, 5 percent fragrance oil, 1 percent fixative, 19 percent distilled water.

5. Transfer to a container.

3. In a graduated cylinder, mix fragrance base with alcohol, oil, and distilled water.

4. Add in fixative.

5. Pour in a few drops of diluted food coloring. (Optional)

6. Transfer to a container glass or plastic bottle.

7. Label and package your finished product.

6. Label the package.

GRASSE FRAGRANCE COMPANY G/F Saville Building 8728 Paseo de Roxas Ave. cor Buendia Makati City Mobile No.: +63922-833-05-17 Email: info@grassefragrance.com Website: www.grassefragrance.com

30 ADVERTORIAL

Dr. Bhatt

Belhoul Master Health Assessment: Don’t Let Hidden Illness Boss Your Life Dubai residents are increasingly feeling the effects of globalization and the escalating fast paced life in the city. Rush hour traffic jams, work deadlines, demanding clients, boardroom tensions all make the life of a top executive very taxing. There is no room for illness or a lapse in health in the present day world as illness can rob you of the strength of body and mind, needed to lead and achieve your goals.

As we know hidden illnesses creep up unknowingly putting a person in danger, and that is why Belhoul Speciality Hospital recommends regular medical check-ups. It is no secret that health plays a crucial role in the corporate world. A vibrant, healthy, positive employee projects and highlights the wholesomeness and progressiveness of his organisation. So, in order to take care of your agenda, you have to first take care of yourself and that is where Belhoul medical check ups would put all your mental and physical faculties back in top gear.

Belhoul Speciality Hospital’s Internal Medicine Department provides a broad range of services for the diagnosis and treatment of multiple adult medical problems. The department is in the forefront of the management of chronic diseases. There is an exclusive section called Master Health Check-up (MHC) department, which is set up in conformity to the maxim “Prevention is better than Cure.” It deals with various types of preventive health checks six days a week.

Here, you are assured a complete medical check with various health assessments to your satisfaction. A team of world class experienced doctors will guide you through various lab tests, comprehensive screening and diagnostics, to rule out any hidden illnesses. You will find your medical evaluation conducted by highly professional medical staff, utilizing an efficient process, with your busy schedule in mind.

Belhoul’s Health Check-up Program Includes: Pre – Employment Health, Basic Health, Executive Health, Cardiac – Health, Whole Body, and Well Women Check Ups.

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Here, check-ups are tailor–made exclusively and that’s why leading corporate executives find it so perfect and easy to fit into their work schedules. Check-up screening involves all around assessment wherein a doctor treats the symptoms of illness, but Belhoul’s check-ups will anticipate oncoming illness and make sure it does not attack your health. It will also pinpoint if there is a hidden illness so treatment and cure can begin. This is your exclusive personal, preventive health care program.

Your time is important to us. All appointments and check-ups are worked around your business schedule. This way you get to prioritize your work as well as your health. All check ups can be completed in as little as one day. Assessment for larger groups can also be arranged.

To assist you, Belhoul’s exclusive Executive Care Coordinator will always be available to escort you to your examinations and tests. He/ she will also make the necessary arrangements with your specialist.

On the other hand, an internal medicine physician will review and explain tests results to you in layman’s terms.

Belhoul Specialty Hospital also has a modern, world-class intensive care unit with step down intensive care wards housed by postgraduate senior medical registrars and intensive care senior consultants who posses vast experience both in UAE and abroad. Furthermore, the hospital’s Internal Medicine Department not only provides comprehensive diagnostic and therapeutic services at a community level but also is in the forefront of providing preventive healthcare services to one and all.

The human body is one of the most complex machines ever known.

Belhoul Specialty Hospital is there to assist you in maintaining this machinery in a fit and working condition, using their holistic and preventive approach towards one’s health problem.

32 kabuhayan money

LoveandMoney

By Francisco J. Colayco

Money can create a lot of stress in relationships and it makes us behave in ways that we can’t understand.

As someone once said, “Money does not matter when love is concerned.” In response to this, someone else might have said: “Without money, love flies out of the window!”

In truth, if you and your partner have all the ingredients of love, you will be very happy together. But isn’t having money one of those ingredients? Let’s think about it some more.

The poorest of the poor find love even without any money. However, I am sure that even they would have been happier to have some money to express their love.

On the other hand, the richest man may have all the money in the world and should feel so blessed. But he will be plagued by doubt about his being loved only for his money.

I say: Let’s try to be balanced. Having enough money should be our goal. But what is enough?

Money management starts with an understanding of what money means to us. In a market-driven economy like ours, money is indispensable. It is the means to live the lifestyle we choose and to share what we have acquired.

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To each according to his deeds. This is the fundamental principle we live by. We are responsible and accountable for our own future.

We exist for a purpose, and part of that purpose is to enrich our lives and the lives of others. To achieve this goal, we must first secure our own individual wellness. We cannot share what we do not have. In the end, it’s all about building financial and spiritual wealth over our lifetime.

When is one wealthy?

Depending on how one views assets and money, the concept and obligation to build wealth appear to be lost to a great majority of income earners. Most are focused on the amount of money to be earned and spent (almost as quickly as it is earned). Only a few plan and measure wealth in terms of assets and money relative to the amount of their time left in this world and to their other life goals, e.g. sharing their bounty with their community.

Professionals, especially those occupying finance-related managerial positions know every detail about their company’s finances and plans for growing their employer’s wealth. Unfortunately, many of these professionals hardly pay attention to their own personal financial situation. They focus on what they personally earn and forget that

KABUHAYAN MONEY 33

such income may not be sustainable. They get lulled into thinking that their employers will be there to always provide good income when they are actively employed and enough pension benefits when they retire. But the sad part is that there is no guarantee to this. The greater part of employees (at all levels) will need to augment their pension benefits so that they can sustain their chosen lifestyle after retirement.

For those who are thinking of their future, there is one important economic question to ask: “How long will you be able to sustain your chosen lifestyle if you stop actively working for money today? But is there one right answer to this question?

Is it 10 years? Is it 20 years?

A 20-year-old professional may be able to sustain his lifestyle for 5 years without working. Is he then wealthy? How about a 90 year old, whose net worth may also sustain him for another 5 years? Is he wealthy? Clearly, the right answer is unique for every individual. His age, his lifestyle, his net worth and his earning power will determine whether he is wealthy or not. It is the individual’s values, age, lifestyle and actual personal net worth that will ultimately determine when he has achieved the a status of wealth.

Some live with a philosophy to live rich and die rich. Some believe otherwise. They are quite happy to live as richly as they can so that when they die, they die poor. This group puts a premium on sharing their wealth while they are alive. They measure their worth by the number of lives they touch with their resources. They accept their mortality and their responsibility as stewards of their assets while active in this world. They realize that they don’t have a use for money when they are gone.

Whichever philosophy we live by will determine our personal financial strategy. Quite obviously, the financial behavior and related investment decisions of such individuals will be radically different.

Would one of them be wrong and the other right?

Common Principles Whatever the belief, the reality is that there are two roles for every economic being: active entrepreneurship and passive entrepreneurship.

Thus, in our financial lives, the active income generating strategies and passive income generating strategies must be distinct and timebound.

Reality also dictates that it is an obligation to learn to be a knowledgeable investor, to become a passive entrepreneur. After all, each of us can only be an active entrepreneur for a certain part of our lives. But each of us can be a passive entrepreneur our entire

life. This is the fundamental principle behind the need for financial planning at all stages of our financial and physical lives.

Time is of the essence. Growing wealth is based on time and compounding of earnings and interest.

Success is better ensured when we start early.

So, going back to the lighter side of your Valentine date or gift. Some of you may not have the opportunity to celebrate together, but may still send gifts. There is one thought I want you to remember when you celebrate Valentine’s: have a realistic budget for your celebration.

Valentine is a perfect occasion to show your love with creativity. And creativity need not be expensive. For example, you could make you own unique valentine card, your own flower arrangement or your own brand of gift-giving. Like Christmas, try to give something out of yourself, perhaps a personal service only you could provide. Be imaginative, create something unique that your loved one likes!

If you really want to go out on a date, consider this advice: If your date is only a fun date, be sure that you spend only within your budget. You should not worry too much about creating an impression about how wealthy or not you are.

After all, you are out only to have fun and you need to save money for future fun dates or for the more serious ones.

If your date is someone you want to get to know better, you should still have a budget and be careful with the impression you create about your true state of finances. If you are really loaded and feel you don’t need a budget, maybe it is better not to show your wealth too much. That way you might feel better knowing that your date likes you for yourself and not for your money. If you are really struggling with your finances, don’t pretend because you might be branded as a “fake or phony.”

In the end, when you are out on a date, have fun that has nothing to do with having more money to spend, but with having more topics to talk about and things to find in common.

It’s all about LOVE and money does play a role depending on how you want it to.

Invitation from Colayco Foundation for Education: Visit www.colaycofoundation.com for seminars/workshops/publications that can help you and your family in the Philippines and even abroad.

34 ADVERTORIAL

36 per cent of all National Bonds Millionaires are Female Two lucky females win in the National Bonds 1 Million Draw and weekly “live a debt free life” for AED 100,000.

National Bonds has announced the winner of its December million dirham prize as well as the latest person to walk away with AED 100,000 from the hugely successful ‘Live a Debt Free Life’ weekly draw. Pakistani Shabana Taj and British National Ann Marie Cook have become the latest female bondholders to join the National Bonds prize winning family.

Already one of the biggest draws in the region, National Bonds is the leading Sharia’a compliant saving scheme in the UAE and rewards 22,250 prizes to its bondholders every month including a monthly draw of AED1 million in addition to special promotions.

Taj and Clark are two of the huge number of female bondholders to be rewarded for saving with National Bonds since its inception in 2006, with total prizes presented to women amounting to more than AED86 million.

According to the data released by the innovative savings scheme, the number of female bondholders increased by 8 per cent between 2009 and 2010, a clear demonstration of the market segment’s potential and the increasing number of women who are taking the control of their finances. Women have also revealed a winning streak, representing a third of all National Bonds prize winners since 2006 and to date, 36 per cent of National Bonds’ millionaires have been women.

“Our data prove that women are becoming increasingly aware of the role they play in contributing to the financial health of their families, via responsible spending and well planned monthly savings habits.

We believe in making saving a rewarding experience and want to contribute to the future success and development of our female bondholders. We hope that these data which represent positive behaviors will reach to all women and consequently all the families in UAE and across the region, to showcase the benefits of saving for a better future,” commented Mr. Mohammed Qasim Al Ali, CEO of National Bonds Corporation PJSC.

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December millionaire Mrs. Shabana Taj has been a bondholder with National Bonds since inception and through her dedication to savings has been able to instill the habit in her five girls who all joined the scheme in 2009 and now are proud bondholders. “We never thought this could happen to us,” exclaimed one of her daughters. “All five of us collect our income together and invest in National Bonds regularly as it’s such an easy and rewarding saving scheme as you can see.”

The 14th winner of its ‘Live a Debt-Free Life’ weekly AED 100,000 draw was overjoyed when she heard the news. Having been a bondholder since 2006, Mrs. Cook initially saved AED500 per month later increasing it to AED1000 per month, automatically making her eligible for the draw. When asked about her plans for the money, she said “reinvest the whole amount back into National Bonds in the hope of winning the million! I can’t believe that only a week after treating my 80 year old mother to a first class flight from the UK to Dubai, I won, she has always been the reason of all my blessings “ Following the 2010 launch of the company’s first ever Savings Index that revealed that 27% of women in the UAE save regularly post the recent financial crisis, National Bonds has pledged to play a pioneering role in developing a savings culture amongst women in the UAE. “We believe there is nothing more important than helping women to secure their future and that of their families. Consequently we are committed to providing the tools and knowledge that will allow them to achieve their financial goals, whether its buying their own home, being able to afford good education for their children or even start their own business,” added Al Ali. National Bonds is a unique savings scheme with a huge and diversified client base with over than 600,000 customers, offering customers will have the opportunity to win 22,250 prizes every month - AED1 million on the last Saturday of every month and 5,135 prizes on every Saturday in different prize categories.

National Bonds certificates are available for purchase in nearly 560 outlets nationwide including, National bonds website, Emirates Post offices, exchange houses and banks. For more information, visit www. nationalbonds.ae or call 600 522 279.

Woman of substance 2011 Year4 1st of april, 2011

36 SUCCESSFUL PINOY SPIRITUALITY

Are You

Malnourished Before the wedding of Felipe and Maria, the groom spoke to the priest. Felipe said, “Father, I’d appreciate it if you could omit the difficult parts of the marriage vows.”

“What difficult parts?” the priest asked.

“You know Father, just don’t say the for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health thing.”

Felipe then slipped a crisp PHP1,000 bill into the priest’s pocket and walked away, smiling.

During the wedding vows, the priest looked at Felipe and said, “Felipe, do you take Maria as your lawful wedded wife for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, serving her breakfast in bed every day, washing the dishes and doing the laundry every day, cleaning the house every day till death do you part?”

Felipe appeared like a train ran over him. In a weak voice, he croaked, “I do.”

for Love?

By Bo Sanchez

After the wedding, Felipe walked up to the priest and asked, “Father, I thought we had a deal?”

The priest slipped back the PHP1,000 into Felipe’s pocket and said, “Sorry, your new wife gave me PHP10,000.”

Change Your Life by Changing Your Relationships I believe that if you change your relationships, you change your life. Because if you squeeze out the essence of life, you realize that life is all about relationships. Your happiness, success, health, and dreams depend on relationships. Give me a person with very happy relationships and I’ll show you a very happy person. Give me a person with miserable, dysfunctional relationships and I’ll show you a very miserable person.

Felipe and Maria had great vows, with some unique amendments.

But will vows help them? Not unless they renew them every day.

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SPIRITUALITY SUCCESSFUL PINOY 37

Relationships need renewal or they die, along with a part of us.

Why? Because you have a Heart Wound that can be healed by love found only in relationships.

Are You Malnourished for Love?

When you hear the word “malnourished,” you automatically think of the starving kids; children living in a famine-stricken dessert that have absolutely nothing to eat.

But there’s a second type. The person could be your next door neighbor. He doesn’t look malnourished. He could even be fat. And yet, amazingly, he is malnourished.

Because he’s eating the wrong food. Let me stoke your imagination. Let’s say you love cotton candy. So you eat cotton candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. What would happen to you?

Your hunger will disappear. You’ll probably have lots of energy from the sugar. But, you’d be killing yourself - because you’ll be terribly malnourished.

Without food, your body dies. And without love, your heart dies. There are people today who feed “cotton candy” to their soul.

air. If there’s no guy available, she’ll get into a lesbian relationship.

Zeny can not be alone. But despite having all those guys and girls chasing after her, she’s terribly unhappy.

Because all that is cotton candy.

Not All Religious Activity Can Nourish the Heart When you mention the words “spiritual malnourishment” people instantly think about those who don’t receive God’s Word — because they don’t attend religious activities.

Well, what about Yolly? Yolly, 44, is immersed in religious activities. She goes to Mass in the morning, reads her Bible during lunch, attends prayer meetings, and novenas in the evening. In between, she prays the Rosary. Ironically, Yolly is one of the unhappiest people I know.

Because every time Yolly prayed, she always heard God tell her, “You’re a sinner. You’re wicked. You’re dirty. You’re not worthy of my love…” Yolly was projecting her own self-hatred onto God. Her God was judgmental and always angry. All her spiritual activities were her way of appeasing this God. Your Heart Wound won’t be healed by religious activities. Your Heart Wound can only be healed by an experience of God’s love found in these religious activities.

The Wound in Your Heart We’re all wounded people. We may look strong on the outside. But deep inside, we have a Heart Wound that must be healed.

Some people have a deeper Heart Wound than others. Perhaps they had an alcoholic father or a very selfish mother. Perhaps they came from a broken family. Perhaps they were abused as kids.

Don’t be shocked, but filling up your Heart Wound is the most basic motivation of all that you do. It’s also the reason why people are addicted to drugs and alcohol and money and sex and power and food and fame and romance.

The Crazy Things We Do Because We Want To Fill Our Heart Wound Zeny (not her real name) is a 27-year-old beautiful and intelligent woman. She’s a brilliant marketing manager in her company. But all logic flies out of the window when it comes to love.

She jumps from one romantic relationship to another. Zeny will grab the next guy available, like a woman drowning and gasping for

What Your Heart Wound Is Longing for When we fill up our Heart Wound with sex, with money, with drugs, with romantic relationships, we don’t get healed. Because there’s only one thing that will heal your Heart Wound.

As corny as this may sound, that thing that we long for is love. That’s why another term for Heart Wound is “Love Tank”. If you want to function well in life, your Love Tank must be filled.

When I meet someone who has problems handling life, it’s usually because the person has an empty Love Tank. It could be the jobless person who doesn’t have self-worth. It could be a millionaire who doesn’t have friends. It could be a people pleaser who has no backbone. It could be a guy controlled by his fears. It could be a person who is having marital affairs. It could be a drug addict. It could be a greedy politician who has come to believe in his own lies.

They’re all desperately finding a way to fill up their wound and are doing it in the wrong way.

38 SUCCESSFUL PINOY SPIRITUALITY

What Kind of Love Can Heal the Wound?

At the end of the day, the love that can heal your Heart Wound is love that is found in relationships. Your relationship with God, with yourself and with others.

Your relationships will determine your happiness and success in every area of your life.

So let me ask you a question: How are your relationships today?How is your marriage? How are your relationships with your parents? Your kids? Your siblings?

Your friends? How is your relationship with God? With yourself?

If you tell me that your relationships are happy and deep and blessed, then in my book, you have everything.

Some of you may be saying, “Hey Bo, I’ve got lots of relationships! But why is my Heart Wound not being healed? Why is my Love Tank not being filled?” Here’s the big problem with relationships: They’re organic. They’re not inanimate objects. They’re living, breathing things.

Let me give you an analogy. There are two kinds of toys: Batteryoperated and wind-up. Some people make the mistake of thinking that relationships are like battery-operated toys. They think they can just slap in a double A battery in their relationship and off it goes, humming its tune forever.

Relationships don’t go on autopilot. Relationships are like wind-up toys. If you don’t wind it up, the ballerina stops dancing. When your relationships aren’t working, it’s because you’ve not been winding them up.

Relationships need renewal or they die. And dead things can’t give you love and heal Heart Wounds.

Let me end with one last personal story.

Death Will Tell You What Is Most Important I was once invited to the 64th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York City.

Seeing the Presidents, Emirs, Sheiks, and Prime Ministers of 192 countries blew my mind. I also stayed in Waldorf Astoria, one of the most luxurious hotels in the world. President Barack Obama and a few other Heads of States where also staying in the same hotel.

Of course, they stayed in humongous suites found on the upper floors. Mortals like me stayed in regular room.

For breakfast, I got the buffet of bread and fruits which cost US$38. I also ordered one soft-boiled egg which cost an astounding US$8. My gosh!

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The experience was surreal. I was in the cusp of luxury, staying in the centre of the wor ld, seeing Presidents of the world, and eating US$8 eggs! No doubt about it, that was definitely a high point in my life.

And yet, here’s my reflection: I’m totally sure that on my deathbed, I won’t remember this experience. At all.

I’ll remember instead the hug that my son gave me, his little fingers at the back of my neck. I’ll remember the times I dated my mother in her old age, the drive going to the restaurant, our two-hour conversations. I’ll remember how early on in our marriage, my wife and I had our romantic dates in cheap fast-food joints — and still had to choose with care what we ordered. I’ll remember how I took care of orphaned children for a year, living with them in a bamboo hut.

I’ll remember those moments in my life when I gave love and received love.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what life is all about. If you fail in your relationships, you fail in life. That’s why I’m inviting you to work on your relationships.

Assignment: Pick One Relationship in Your LifeThat You Want To Renew and Refresh Reading this article will do nothing for your life. But if you apply what you read, it’ll create miracles. Therefore, I’m giving you an assignment.

I want you to choose one relationship in your life that you want to deepen and strengthen – be it your relationship with your mother, or your sibling, or your husband, or your child, or a friend. Go right up to that person and tell that person, “I want to strengthen my relationship with you.”

In the various Feasts, the prayer gatherings we have in Metro Manila, we give away a small “Gift of Renewal” Card to each attendee. Write the person’s name on the Card and give it to that person. The Card stated, “I want to deepen, strengthen, and renew my relationship with you.” It gave people courage because they don’t go empty handed.

Hey, you can make the Card yourself. Or write a short note.

When you do this, you might get shocked looks, questions, laughter, or even ridicule from the other person. Or you might get a hug or some tears. It doesn’t matter.

Just go out there and tell someone your prayer for a relationship reborn.

40 ILLUSTRADO SCRAPBOOK A platform for budding Filipino creative talent

Gabby Yap Gabby Yap refers to photography as his high school sweetheart. It was in his junior year in high school in his Elective class – he claims, that he wasn’t even sure what ‘elective’ meant that he discovered photography. “Back then I was already dreaming of becoming a serious photographer; constantly exploring new subjects and scenery constantly learning new techniques. I even stalked my photography professor for awhile,” he confessed.

In 2003, family problems threatened his college dream, but at the same destiny took its rightful place. Gabby got a

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chance to work alongside other artists and photographers in Lito Sy Photography and turned from amateur to pro. He worked with Lito Sy Photography for six years and then in 2009, left for the UAE where he is currently working as a supervisor and photographer for a new photography studio in Abu Dhabi.

Gabby claims that he doesn’t talk much about his high school sweetheart, this art of capturing images and telling stories with a camera. “We could talk about my passion for photography, but I’d rather have my pictures show it,” he says.

A platform for budding Filipino creative talent

ILLUSTRADO SCRAPBOOK 41

Wilfredo “Jon” Guzman Jr. Art has always been a major part of Wilfredo “Jon” Guzman Jr’s life.

He studied it in school, graduating with a degree in Fine Arts from the Far Eastern University. Now based in Al Khobar, Saudi Arabia, Jon is still mixing colors and creating images as a graphic designer for a dairy and juice company – a job that he has had for the last seven years.

His insatiable enchantment with art has led him to explore its different forms like photography. He joined the International Shutters Organization (ISO) and continues to improve his craft, this time holding a camera.

Describing himself as a simple man, Jon says he’s thankful for Facebook.

“It allows me to share my talents with friends and loved ones, even if they are half way across the globe.”

PHOTOGRAPHY BY DOC MARLON PECJO WITH VON ONEIL BUENCONSEJO AND ELMER PASCUA STYLING BY EDLENE ROSE CABRAL MAKE UP BY GRACE DEANG OF SHU UEMURA HAIR STYLING BY CHRIS RODIL MODELS : JACKIE MILNER OF PMAP AND ROBERT TAATJES

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TOO CLOSE

42 FASHION

FOR COMFORT

FASHION 43

Absolutely swelteringly sexy. Manila’s season’s casuals feature style that’s steaming - with tempting prints, flirty sheers and sensuous detailing.

A veritable coupling of fashion and passion.

ON HIM: TAILORED LONG SLEEVES, FRANCIS LIBIRAN FOR MYTH, SLACKS

BY RANDY ORTIZ FOR MYTH. ON HER: TUBE JUMPSUIT FROM SALABIANCA; NECKPIECE FROM THE RAMP; HAT, STYLIST’S OWN

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44 FASHION

ON HIM: TAN JACKET, WITH KHAKI LONG SLEEVED SHIRT MATCHED WITH DARK PANTS, ALL FROM OXYGEN. ON HER: CROPPED TOP FROM OXYGEN, PRINTED TROUSERS FROM THE RAMP TOPPED WITH A HAT - STYLIST’S OWN.

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46 FASHION

ON HIM: BLAZER, PANTS AND FEDORA HAT, ALL FROM OXYGEN.

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FASHION 47

ON HIM: LONG SLEEVED SHIRT, AND TROUSERS ALL FROM OXYGEN. ON HER: ANIMAL PRINT BLAZER TEAMED WITH LACE TANK AND BONDAGE SKIRT ALL FROM THE RAMP.

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48 FASHION

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FASHION 49

ON HIM: TAILORED LONG SLEEVED DOTTED SHIRT AND SLACKS ALL BY RANDY ORTIZ FOR MYTH. ON HER: SHEER DRESS FROM SALABIANCA, AND SHOES - STYLIST’S OWN.

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50 FASHION

ON HIM: TAILORED BLAZER AND SLACKS BY RANDY ORTIZ FOR MYTH; LONG SLEEVED STRIPED SHIRT FROM THE RAMP. ON HER: HALTERED LONG DRESS BY ERIC DE LOS SANTOS

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FASHION 51

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52 FASHION

ON HIM: FAUX LEATHER JACKET, LONG SLEEVED SHIRT AND DARK PANTS, ALL FROM THE RAMP. ON HER: FAUX LEATHER JACKET FROM THE RAMP MATCHED WITH A ZIPPER DRESS FROM OXYGEN.

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FASHION 53

ON HIM: TAILORED BLAZER, WITH LONG SLEEVED SHIRT AND SLACKS, ALL

BY RANDY ORTIZ FOR MYTH. ON HER: METALLIC DRESS BY RANDY ORTIZ FOR MYTH; EARRINGS AND BRACELET ALL FROM SM DEPARTMENT STORE.

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54 FASHION

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FASHION 55

ON HIM: TAILORED BLAZER, LONG SLEEVED SHIRT AND SLACKS ALL BY RANDY ORTIZ FOR MYTH; FEDORA HAT FROM OXYGEN. ON HER: NUDE GOWN BY JEROME SALAYA ANG; EARRINGS FROM SM DEPARTMENT STORE

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56 FASHION

Move boldly into the intrepid new world of the future with unique style statement pieces created for maximum impact. It’s groundbreaking fashion at its fiercest – from the fearless world of Michael Cinco.

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FASHION 57

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Lee Cooper Zip Dress from Splash Price - AED120

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Juniors Printed Dress from Babyshop Price - AED 59

ADVERTORIAL 59

Max Women’s Wear Spring 2011 Max, the largest value fashion brand in the Middle East launches its Spring 2011 collection across all Max stores. The colors of the Spring 2011 collection are light and soft, with fresh prints that’s all about shedding those heavy and winter garments and getting ready for the sun.

The Military look still continues this season with olive green, brown and earthy tones.

The garments have a utility feel to them with antique metal trims to finish them off. Shirt, dresses and utility style pants in luxe fabrics with animal and camouflage style prints are also available for a safari-military look.

The Women’s Wear Spring Collection has a homespun chic look which is big this season with washed colors mixed with denim blues. Floral prints mixed with crochet and lace detailing add a definitive innocent and folksy feel. A variety of shirts, skirts, tops and trousers are available from pretty checks and washed plaids to micro ginghams.

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The Spring 2011 Collection is now available at all Max stores across UAE.

60 FASHION

STEP ASIDE, QUEEN. MAKE WAY FOR THE

KING. The “One and Only Furne One” gives us a fashion insider’s peek at his soon-to-be-unveiled line, poised to be the region’s most celebrated style breakthrough this couture season.

Furne who has been strongly identified as one of the best couture designers in the region known for his dramatic, grand, feminine creations, is set to delve into the arena of male fashion with the launch of ‘Amato Homme,’ which the designer says is his new ‘diversion.’

Slated to cater to the young and hip males of the region, this will be Furne One’s line of “street couture” reflecting the growth of style in the local male arena. The designer says, “Emirati fashion consumers are more grand, lavish, artistic, masculine and adventurous.

They are also trendier and they love new ideas and new things.” Furne feels that it is time to create a breakthrough in terms of changing the perception in the way men should dress themselves, and that the local Arabic male consumer is definitely ready for ‘Amato Homme.’

Furne One’s new male collection will consist of a denim line as well as shirts in mixed fabrics and materials with a definitive twist, with the overriding theme of “The Gypsy.”

Watch this space for the upcoming launch details.

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62 FASHION

ILLUSTRADO RUNWAY 63

ROCKY GOTHERCOLE

Rocky Gathercole in New Look 2011 Beauty & Fashion Exhibition

Filipino designer and avant-garde proponent Rocky Gathercole showed his softer more elegant side with a runway show at the New Look 2011 Beauty and Fashion Exhibition held at the Al Ain Convention Center in Al Ain in January.

The collection which featured sumptuous wedding gowns and evening dresses in rich jewel tones accentuated with bold embellishments and tantalizing peek-a-boo cut-outs was, according to the irrepressibly provocative designer, inspired by his imagination’s meandering through fantasia, wonderland and Narnia. Not to be missed is the golden layered wedding gown inspired by Burj Al Arab.

5 Month 64 TRIPPIN’

things To Do This

By Toni Loyola

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Illustrado lists the five best things to do this love month. Whether it is shopping for discounts, grooving to jazz or celebrating Valentine’s Day – whatever your heart desires - we hope that our list will bring you joy, satisfaction, and, of course, love.

Give love on Valentine’s Day Whether you’re single, in a relationship or in that ubiquitous status: “it’s complicated,” make sure that you celebrate “V” Day. Single men, give your single girl friends a long-stemmed red rose each – the gesture will be highly appreciated and definitely treasured.

Single ladies: go out with your other single girl friends and paint the town in your own singularly fabulous shade of red. If a daytime get together is more to your liking, treat yourself to a whole day at the spa capped off with your favorite dessert. Go ahead and dare to forego the sugar-free version. Valentine Day calories don’t count.

Couples can make the day more personalized by cooking up romantic dinner instead of going out. You can always play it safe by giving a precious gift, or simply a personal card, as long as it is sincere and surprising, the day will be well-spent.

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It’s that month of the year again: long– awaited by some; but equally dreaded by others. But thank goodness, the lovable cherub known as cupid has sprinkled a little bit of something for everyone to enjoy here in the Gulf during the red hot month of February.

Shop till you drop OR See red (tags) at the DSF The biggest shopping extravaganza, the Dubai Shopping Festival (DSF) is back with tons of promotions and entertainment. Store windows are decorated with merry red tag signaling, reduced prices and the answer to retail therapy.

You’ll have to fight off the seduction of love at first sight when you see your favorite designer brands on sale at 70% off their original cost The 32-day Dubai Shopping Festival, sometimes referred to with endearment as “DSF” runs until February 20, and it brings fun with lots of entertainment and fabulous daily draws. So, forget recession for a while, and pamper yourself with at least one good buy from this much-awaited shopping festival.

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TRIPPIN’ 65 Jazz it up Jazz enthusiasts can come out of the closet and take center stage along with internationally-renowned musicians playing at the annual Skywards Dubai International Jazz Festival. With a great line-up of 37 powerhouse performers, music lovers can chill out while listening to Macy Gray, Joshua Radin, Lifehouse, Alison Moyet, Jesse J, to name a few. And with such class acts happening at the fresh al fresco venues in Dubai Media City and The Walk in Jumeirah Beach Residence, jazz aficionados – and maybe even those who are not – will surely be seduced by the cool sound of easy listening and the other melodic delights of the 17-day music festival.

Check out the official website www.dubaijazzfest.com to learn more about the details on schedules and ticket reservations.

Bag a ticket to Splash S/S 2011 show The bi-annual Splash Fashion Shows are famous for attracting a huge number of fashion and style followers with its pulse racing, heart stopping runway shows and its lavish after-parties. This February, Splash again beckons style-philers to witness the unveiling of its new fashion philosophy along side its coming Spring/Summer 2011 collection. Keep your eyes and ears open. You won’t want to miss this spectacular and much talked-about affair, so check our online updates at www.illustradolife.com for information on how to get ticket invites.

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4

Don a new do When was the last time you changed your hair style? If you even have to think about your answer to that, it means it’s been way too long.

This month of amore, give yourself some love and try a new hairstyle.

It can be daunting for someone who has never had short hair to chop off their locks, but you’ll be amazed at the new you you unleash underneath all that hair!

If you’ve got short hair, try a new hue for your do. Spruce it up with highlights or go for an ebony shade to highlight our smooth morena skin. Make an appointment with your trusted hairstylist and let your hair down. We don’t mind either if you feel like sporting a beehive a la Amy Winehouse who, by the way, is coming to Dubai for a concert at the Gulf Bike Week this month. Amy Winehouse or Marge Simpspon? Beehive or B52 hairstyle? You get the point.

66 GLOBAL BARRIO NEWS

Bacolod NGO takes Top Prize at the BBC World Challenge

The “Running Water Uphill” entry by the Alternative Indigenous Development Foundation Inc. (AIDFI) won top prize at the BBC World Challenge for showcasing a hydraulic ram pump that has brought water to remote villages in the Philippines.

By using the locally perfected model of the old hydraulic ram pump, water was pumped to very high elevations without the use of electricity or fuel. AIDFI’s entry also won the Community Initiative Award of the Energy Institute Awards held in London last year.

AIDFI is a non-government organization based in Bacolod City. “Running Water Uphill” was chosen out of 800 projects from over 70 countries, from which 12 finalists were selected. The entry from Peru came in second and Guatemala was third place. Now on its sixth year, the BBC World Challenge is a global competition aimed at finding projects or small businesses from around the world that have shown enterprise and innovation at grassroots level. The challenge currently has 167,000 people from around the world voting online for their favorite projects at www. theworldchallenge.co.uk.

Even better news is the fact that this is not the first time for the Philippines to win top prize in the BBC World Challenge. In 2005, Dr. Justino Arboleda of the Bicol University College was recognized for his soil erosion control net or coconet. Coconet, made from waste coconut husk was judged the best environmental grass-roots project in the world besting 456 entries from 90 countries.

KC Concepcion represents the Philippines in UN mission *Photo courtesy of World Food Programme, Philippines

Famous television personality and movie actress KC Concepcion set off on her first-ever mission to Uganda as the United Nations (UN) World Food Programme Ambassador against Hunger. The 25-year old daughter of the Philippines’ megastar Sharon Cuneta flew to Uganda for a five-day mission together with other members of the UN World Food Programme.

The star has also been helping out the UN organization in local undertakings in Mindanao, specifically school feedings programs. Recently, she launched an online auction for the benefit of children, particularly in tension-affected areas in Mindanao called “KC’s Closet.”

KC’s shoes, clothes, bags and other personal items were open for the taking by the highest bidder. Other close friends pitched in and added some of their belongings to the auction. Since it was launched, KC’s Closet has been able to raise PHP600,000 which will go to school feeding programs in conflict-affected Mindanao.

For as little as PHP10, you can give one child a nutritious meal. Visit KC's Closet Fights Child Hunger at http://stores.ebay.ph/KCs-Closet-Fights-Child-Hunger to see how you can help. The project will run until March 2011.

New Jersey’s Seton Hall University appoints Pinoy President Filipino-American Gabriel Esteban was appointed new President of top American school Seton Hall University, New Jersey’s largest Catholic university, with 10,000 students Last spring, Seton Hall named two finalists. But the candidates, both priests, soon withdrew from consideration, forcing the search to start over and prompting months of soul-searching about whether to open the field to laypeople. During that time, Dr. Esteban, 49, who was named interim president in June and served as provost

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and undoubtedly impressed the university with his leadership and business acumen.

The appointment of Dr. Esteban broke the New Jersey University’s recent tradition of appointing only Roman Catholic priests to the post. Dr. Esteban, a native of the Philippines and a Catholic whose daughter is a Seton Hall junior, said in an interview that he was “humbled and honored” that the university was “willing to make an exception in [his] case.”

GLOBAL BARRIO NEWS 67

Danica Magpantay is Ford Models’ “Supermodel of the World”

Always a finalist or runner-up, but never the winner. That can somehow summarize the Philippines’ performance in beauty pageants.

Danica Flores Magpantay broke the streak of near-misses and became the first Filipina named by world-renowned modeling institution Ford Models as “Supermodel of the World.” The coveted title carries not only a US$250,000 modeling contract, but also the chance to model for the world’s top retail brands and fashion designers and work with leading fashion photographers around the world.

Danica Flores Magpantay,a 17-year old Fine Arts student at the University of the Philippines, bested models from over 50 countries in the competition held in New York. After intensive screening amongst the candidates, the agency chose only five finalists. The runner-ups were Kristina Gromovaite of Lithuania and Zuzanna Bronczyck of Poland. The other finalists were from Estonia and Brazil.

Lauded for her dusky, morena skin, Magpantay is the daughter of “1990 Supermodel of the World Philippines” Milagros ‘Lala’ Flores, now a popular make-up artist.

While this is the first time for a Filipino to bag the “Supermodel of the World” title, the Philippines had numerous runners-up the previous years: Charo Ronquillo (2006) and Charlene Almarvez (2009).

Pinoy reporter wins Best Short Film award in New York indie festival John Paul Seniel, a GMA-7 Davao TV reporter, bagged the Best In Short Film International award at in the recently concluded New York Independent Film and Video Festival.

Seniel’s film entry “Latus,” bested 60 other entries, mostly from North and Central America and Europe.

“Latus” is a story about street children and domestic violence. The film was based on the stories of the adolescent street girls in Davao City. The two best friends both experience corporal punishment in their own homes and the story is a poignant and moving recount of how they cope with the struggles both in school and at home.

A graduate of the Holy Cross of Davao College, Seniel is a full-time television reporter and host of Isyu Karon, a local documentary program in Davao City. His first foray into film making was “Torture”, which won both the Best Picture and Best Director awards in the 2003 Guerilla Filmmaking Festival in Davao. Back in 2004, Seniel was commissioned to direct a documentary about autism titled “Amuma” (Hands for Nobody) that he entered into NYIFVF. The film received rave reviews and paved the way for his making “Latus.”

In 2007, Seniel was hailed as the Most Promising Filmmaker in the Mindanao Film Festival.

Filipino figurative artist presents solo in Singapore

One of Southeast Asia’s most beloved and internationally recognized figurative artists, Benedicto Cabrera, better known as ‘BenCab’ is now the first-ever artist to hold a second exhibit in world-renowned Singapore Tyler Print Institute (STPI).

His one-man show titled “BenCab: Glimpses” would run in a double-feature with choreographer Agnes Locsin’s “Sayaw, Sabel,” a

Palawan makes it to National Geographic list of best places to visit

National Geographic Traveler, one of the world’s most respected publications, listed Palawan in the Philippines among the “20 Best Trips of 2011.”

Known for its limestone karst cliffs, coral atolls, mangrove forests, sugarwhite sandy beaches and extensive fringing reefs, Palawan creates one of the Philippines’ most bio-diverse terrestrial and marine environments.

National Geographic first touted Palawan as “one of the best destinations in the world” back in 2007, for its “incredibly beautiful seascapes and landscapes.” Apart from its magazine, the National Geographic Channel has also put its spotlight on Palawan, the fish and wildlife sanctuary of the Philippines since 1967, on its programs, such as “Word Travels.”

The other destinations selected by the prestigious publication are include: Ulaanbaatar in Mongolia; Plitvice Lakes in Croatia; Sardini, Italy; Tasmania, Australia; Fjord Norway (Western Norway) among others.

dance show based on an iconic work of BenCab. “Sabel” is a major subject recurring in the paintings of BenCab, inspired by a real-life scavenger he photographed and sketched in 1965. The “Sabel” image has become his vehicle to illustrate intensely emotional moods.

Growing up in a poor area of Manila, the 68-year old artist prolific career spans more than four decades. Living and working in Baguio, in the highlands of Cordillera in the northern Philippines, he practices painting, drawing, printmaking, etching, collage and sculpture in a style that is a fusion of Eastern and Western idioms.

68 FEATURE

For the Love of the Game

By Excel V. Dyquiangco, Photos by Debbie Shaw

Theirs is a story typical of one trying to rise above the sad reality of poverty, of one trying to overcome the lure of gang wars, street brawls and drug addiction. Theirs is a story of more than just grit, passion and determination to succeed.

Theirs is a story of the celebration of life, of love, and of the game of football.

Maravila, 25, Lucban, Quezon and Revect Lagarto, 20 from Metro Manila

Meet the team that has struck a poignant chord in the hearts of football and non-football fanatics everywhere - Team Homeless World Cup Philippines (HWC) is the only Asian country that has so far grabbed a hold of the coveted Host Cup trophy, beating Norway at a score of 4-3 in Rio de Janeiro in Brazil last September 19-26.

They finished 25th out of 64 countries.

At the helm of this international triumph is no other than Coach Rudy del Rosario, who once played with the Philippine National Team as a striker for ten years. “The purpose of this competition is to give poverty a voice and a face,” he says. “We wanted the marginalized sector of the society to have a goal and a direction in life – that not everything is hopeless. We wanted to open their stories to the public.”

“It’s an exhilarating experience considering that we were up against giants such as Brazil and Chile,” says Lexter Maravila, 23, Lucban, Quezon. “But the finish is already an achievement in itself. We did our country proud.”

Members of the team come as far as Bacolod, Negros Occidental (Leopoldo Aragon III, 19) and Talisay, Negros Occidental (Michael Quinlat, 24 and Toni Mark Arinal, 24) to Pagsanjan, Laguna (twins Abdula and Hammid Pasion, 20). The rest of the team are Mark

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From the slums to the soccer field, these kids were chosen not based on their skills but on their status in life. Coach Rudy says, “Their soccer skills are only secondary to the real purpose of this game. We want them to experience the joy that also goes with the competition.”

FEATURE 69

Indeed, theirs is a story of triumph and redemption - and of growing relationships.

Band of Brothers

Since they all came from different provinces and backgrounds with different dialects (some don’t even know how to speak Tagalog), they didn’t get along well at the start. Coach Rudy had some work to do.

“For the first few days, Coach partnered us with someone from a different province,” says Lexter 23, Quezon. “And then, another one from a different province. That way, we got to know more of each other.”

Team buildings also played a major part in strengthening their relationships with one another. They even went to different places such as Baguio to practice to prepare them for the winter season in Brazil and went to each and every one of their hometowns – Laguna, Negros Occidental, and Quezon. It was a memorable event since they got to meet each and every one of their families.

“It was a humbling experience since each one of the family members pitched in with the food. We also helped since we had some money saved too,” says Abdula. “We even paid courtesy calls to the mayors of each province and those who helped us.”

Staying under one roof in Cainta for three months – budgeting, cooking, and doing some household chores - forged their relationship even further. They openly shared their problems with one another and even give advice on what to do.

The Brazil Experience

Their first trip out of the country was quite memorable. More than just seeing skin of different colors, or a culture interesting and unfamiliar, it was the food that struck them the most – particularly because they didn’t grow a liking to it.

“It was a huge adjustment for us because even the rice is cooked in strips and it’s big,” says Hammid. “And they usually serve only bread and vegetables for lunch; we wanted more than that.”

Coach Rudy says that they even had to buy food outside such as a lechon manok so the guys could eat properly. “We would cook our own rice. It was really difficult to feed them something unfamiliar during the competition because it might affect their performance,” he says. “We had to make sure that they had the energy to play, and food plays a very important part in this.”

The game itself, however, became a learning experience. The first two teams they were paired against were the country’s favorite, Brazil in the morning and Chile in the afternoon. Eventually, these were the top two players in the Homeless World Cup. Coach Rudy admits that they were prepared as the other two teams, but it seemed like the players had forgotten all they have been taught. “I could see the fear and the intimidation in the faces of my players,” he says. “By half time, we were down to 9-0. I talked to them and they scored two goals. That was fine since we were up against hard-hitting Brazil.”

70 FEATURE

But when the fear and intimidation once again set in the afternoon (this time, with Chile), he had to sit them down. “I told them that only you can conquer your fear,” he says. “I related it to life. If you never overcome your fear, you are just going to stay where you are.

But when you face up to this fear, you’ll be successful in the game and in life.”

His pep talk worked. The next day, they played Croatia and beat them and almost did the same with Italy. At the end of the 10-day competition, the Philippine team won eight out of the eleven games in Rio.

“We have every reason to believe that we can compete – and win – against foreign nationals. We are proud to carry the flag of our country even if we are homeless,”adds Hammid. “I was also shy at first but now I can say that I can mingle with other people,” remarked Leopoldo, who also says that because of this game, he was given a chance to study by some generous sponsors. He is now a third year high school student, and has great plans of going to college.

Aside from Mark being promoted to assistant coach in the 2011 Team to Paris, Coach Rudy also has several projects for the team. “I am helping the guys look for work too,” he says. “We are trying to raise more funds and get more connections with companies.”

Out of all the teams who played in the tournament, Coach Rudy considers Team Finland their BFFs. Ironically enough, they beat Team Finland during the semi-finals of the game. “Playing against them was indeed tough for us since we were friends,” says Toni Mark. “But of course, one of us had to win. They even joked that we are friends outside the field but inside, it’s a different ball game altogether.” Most touching about this seemingly unlikely friendship is that Team Finland went on to become Team Philippines’ cheering squad and even carried the Philippine flag during the semi-finals when they played against Team Norway.

“Poverty should not be a hindrance for them to dream big and to achieve things,” Coach Rudy says. “In fact, the best players in the world were from poor families – Pele, Maradona, Ronaldo and others. They played street football and look where they are now. Start with the dream and start working on that.”

Changed Lives

For more information about soccer, contact Coach Rudy del Rosario at (+63) 9175703802 or 09202300486, email aburudz11@yahoo. com or log on to www.thejeepney.com.

From living in the slums to worldwide fame and victory, their stint as football stars finally gave them the courage to endure life. “We became confident and proud of ourselves,” says Revect.

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72 COMMUNITY Along with some 30 members, mentors Cesar Parroco and Darwin Guevarra bravely took on new challenges to help advance their coenthusiast in the world of photography. The group has selflessly devoted time to nurture each other’s creativity by sharing new approaches to the art and constructive criticisms among members.

Late night stake outs and sunrise photo activities, not to mention photo adventures from the desert, to seascapes to architecture through to ordinary street life, which reveal the changing landscape of the emirates at different times, have also peaked members interest and continue to generate inspiration and love of this art.

Indeed, such passion by CCD is so contagious for those who have an eye on photography that their Facebook fan page already has 650 members and counting. Visit CCD at http://www.facebook.com/ CameraClubDubai.

Studio Preview: Contemporary Artist Tini Meyer Woman of Substance 2010 honoree contemporary artist Tini Meyer held a studio preview of her new paintings on the 12th of January 2011. The event which was sponsored by Jurgen Herre, head of Hines MENA, was attended by an eclectic mix of art lovers who came out to enjoy the evening. Before the mixed crowd arrived, there was a ‘ladies only’ session which was much appreciated by local female guests. The preview was a success with much of the new collection selling through the event. The artist is currently preparing to do a similar event in London, where she just had an exhibition in Shoreditch alongside other artists from the UAE. In London, Tini Meyer worked closely with curator Juan Carlos Farah of www. newertown.com

Introducing the Camera Club of Dubai (CCD) Conceptualized and established as an online social group last December 2010, the CCD is a fast growing photo enthusiasts group in the emirate with mostly Filipino members from different professions. After graduating from Basic Photography under the meticulous training offered by OPPPS (Overseas Pinoy Professional Photographers Society) Batch 21 Section 4-6B took the hobby to heart, and brought continued creative learning to another level.

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Mama Sita’s Cook Book Launched Filipinos living abroad always miss the comforting flavors and inviting aroma of home-cooked meals. The absence of authentic ingredients and the lack of suitable substitutes often prevent even seasoned cooks and homemakers from cooking their favorite Filipino dishes. Recognizing this need, the makers of Mama Sita’s Mixes and Sauces recently launched Mama Sita’s cook book of traditional and contemporary recipes, entitled, “Discover Flavors of the Philippine Islands.”

The book is a rich compendium of recipes — some original concoctions of Mama Sita which have been resurrected from her handwritten journals, others inspired by the creativity and prodigious talent of this beloved culinary artist. The cookbook explores the many uses of Mama Sita’s Mixes and Sauces in creating wholesome and nutritious meals that are delightfully easy on the pocket. The book also includes easy-to-prepare recipes and a fine selection of vegetarian, low-fat, and non-pork dishes made easy.

For Filipinos living abroad, this helps solve the problem of locating hard-to-find ingredients by using the sauces and mixes which have become sought-after cooking companions in Filipino communities abroad. Mama Sita’s Mixes and Sauces — created from original formulation by Mama Sita herself — recreate the authentic flavors of popular, traditional and well-loved Filipino cuisine in a convenient pack.

74 GLOBAL BARRIO

My Pinoy Life In...

Kampala, Uganda By: Nyx Martinez

Raised by missionary parents in India and Thailand, the values of altruism and volunteerism were ingrained in Nyx Martinez at an early age. It comes as no surprise that Nyx grew up and pursued a similar path.

The 29-year old Filipina reflects on the three years she spent in Kampala, Uganda as a full time volunteer and the lessons of love and brotherhood that continue to influence her until today.

Since when have you been staying there?

Can you recount briefly why you moved there?

I lived in Uganda from 2002-2005 as a full time volunteer. I worked with Radioactive Productions, a recording studio that produced inspirational radio programs for listeners around East Africa Another objective of the program was to highlight good local talent by giving them a platform.

We also organized aid distribution to IDP (Internally Displaced Persons) and refugee camps, orphanages and hospitals. As project coordinator, I helped organize a few projects that got artists (or anyone willing) involved with humanitarian and outreach programs on the ground level.

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Tell us something about your host city and country?

Uganda is very special. The weather is perfect! It’s hot enough to dry your laundry in the morning, and cool enough at night to need a wrap or scarf when you go out. It’s not humid or extra dry like in Kenya. Uganda is also the source of the Nile River; this means the land is very fertile, and extremely lush. However, the degree of poverty is also overwhelming. And there are still tribal wars and disputes in some regions.

You’ve probably heard about Idi Amin in the late 70’s, the president of Uganda who seized power in a military coup in 1971. Known as the “Butcher of Uganda”, hundreds of thousands of his opponents were either killed or imprisoned during his 8 year dictatorship. Everyone seems to associate Uganda with him. But the Ugandan people, in general, are some of the kindest, sincerest, and humblest I have ever met. They are also lots of fun, and on the whole, they are not overly materialistic or judgmental.

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Is there a Filipino community there?

Back then, the Filipino community was relatively small. During one of our Christmas parties, we were about 50, including kids. You didn’t see many of them around, but the Filipinos I did know were either with NGO’s, charity groups, or were exchange students. It was strange being one of the only Asians in the entire country. You stuck out like a coconut tree!

I had a housemate at the time who was Japanese; she jogged every day around the city. People couldn’t tell the difference between us two Asians.

On the road again

Ugandans are so welcoming — they were all very interested in what it was like in Asia, and in my home-country, the Philippines. Little children would often touch my straight hair, amazed, and ask; “Were you born this way?”

Tell us about your life there.

I lived together with other volunteers with global backgrounds, so it was easy to adjust. From the first day I landed at the airport, I found that it was no problem settling in and making friends. We often had no electricity, so people spent more time eating and drinking together in the evenings, just hanging out.

First visit to to idp camps in soroti

One time, I came home from a short vacation in South Africa, and our cook looked at me and beamed, “Nyx! You have gotten fat!” I was stunned at her reaction, and a little embarrassed. Then she continued: ‘And you will get fatter, and fatter, and fatter!”

The smile on her face told me that was a good thing. I later learned that she really was giving me a genuine compliment! In this part of the world, the rule is: the bigger the better! That’s an example of a different kind of culture there.

What did you do there for a living?

My work as a volunteer was full-time, but I also dabbled in writing and painting. I held one solo and two joint art exhibits, all to raise awareness about the plight of the people I was trying to help at the time — like forgotten tribes and child soldiers. To earn extra cash, I did face painting at kids’ parties, sold portraits, and taught art at the International School of Kampala during the summer break.

Nights were quieter; no huge clubs. But one popular place was the Karaoke joint at the only mall in town, whose Karaoke system was a ‘Magic-Sing’ microphone from the Philippines (complete with all the popular Pinoy Karaoke favorites!). Every week, that place would be packed, and the usual few Pinoys would be rocking the microphone!

Ugandans love music and dancing just as much as we do!

On the weekends, we would often hang out by the lake, or go camping by the white water rapids. The braver ones would bungee or ride the rafts. I really loved that Uganda was a place where you could do a lot of outdoor activities. You had this feeling that you were right in the middle of the wilderness, but it was incredibly calm as well. We didn’t have many luxuries, especially when it came to transporation.

We got around by hitch-hiking or car pooling.

Oh, let me tell you about transportation! The taxi’s are called bodabodas, and they are little motorbikes, driven all over – everywhere! At the time, the roads were full of potholes, and these things would go zooming by. When riding them, I would pray so hard! We had a lot of adventures in Uganda; a lot of crazy fun. I once went on a safari, we pitched a tent down by the river, and you could hear the warthogs and hippos just footsteps outside your tent. And you knew there were lions out there, too. That was wild!

Your message to Filipinos across the globe

No matter where in the world you find yourself, you can contribute positive things. You can be in the poorest country, or the richest villa — it doesn’t matter. Surround yourself with good, dependable friends, network well, keep in touch with people, and build deep, lasting relationships.

76 GLOBAL BARRIO

Meeting the ik tribe of northern uganda

If you’re feeling a little homesick where you are, try to reach out to someone who isn’t as well off as you, or perhaps other foreigners or expats who may be missing their homeland, too. Try to attend social gatherings and events so you can get to know your neighborhood, as you need a good support system when you are living in a faraway country. Be a friend and family to others. You’ll be surprised at what you receive when you give of yourself, and give from your heart.

You’ll expand the borders of your own home and see your life start to flourish in amazing ways.

Any other information you would like to share with other Pinoys around the world?

The three years I spent as a volunteer in Uganda weren’t easy, and being away from my family for so long became taxing at times. But what I experienced there—both the heartaches and the happiness— are treasures I wouldn’t trade.

Living in that country taught me to appreciate life and the blessings that were given me to share. It taught me that there was more to life, and more to this world we live in. I learned that it was often the little things that matter.

I met some amazing people there who were giving so much of themselves. Like one girl, Mandy, who was a German artist—she lived and worked in a home for mentally handicapped children, on the outskirts of the city; she had committed her life to being there.

She’s still there doing wonderful work. You could see and feel that it was a special love that drew her to country and made her stay, and her love for the kids surpassed the need to have any luxuries. From people like her, I learned that when you focus your energy and efforts outwards to those around you, your life takes on a new meaning, and you can survive even the hardest of situations, or the loneliest of places, because of the passion that keeps you there.

Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves and our personal problems, we forget that happiness and joy can come from simple things. We need to cherish our life and the love that we are capable of

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Typical ugandan woman in native dress

Hunting for dinner in the mountains

giving. When we start being grateful for the small things, that’s when we realize that we indeed have a lot to be thankful for.

In 2005, Nyx moved back to the Philippines, where she hosted Travel TV Shows with Living Asia Channel for 3 years. She started the FunDayTion, a project to help terminallyill kids. (www.ourlifefoundation.wordpress. com). In 2009, she relocated to Europe, where she got married in Denmark, lived in Italy and gave birth in Germany. Nyx is now Features Editor of Mabuhay, the Inflight Travel + Lifestyle magazine of Philippine Airlines. Visit her at www.nyxmartinez.com

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Rizal’s Heritage Trail: 150 Years After

By Ivan Henares

So much can be said about Jose Rizal. We all know about his novels that inspired the Philippine Revolution, his aspirations for the country, his controversial love life, and so much more about our national hero that have been written so many times before. But as a travel blogger, it was interesting to note that Rizal was the quintessential traveler of his time.

Rizal was most definitely a jet-setter! It is common knowledge that Rizal spent a significant portion of his life living in Europe, but he also travelled to various parts of the Asia, the Middle East and North America, and he traveled to all these places in just a span of ten years; from 1882 to 1892.

Rizal also roamed around the Philippines. He was in Tarlac, Pampanga, Bulacan, Manila, Laguna, Romblon, Capiz, Iloilo, Negros Oriental, Cebu and Zamboanga del Norte, among other provinces.

To celebrate the 150th birth anniversary of Rizal on June 19, 2011, the Heritage Conservation Society, along with the Department of Tourism (DOT) and the Intramuros Administration will launch the Rizal Heritage Trail in March to encourage people to see the places Rizal visited in the Philippines, as well as sites and structures with a connection to the national hero, or significant monuments that honor him. The main component of this project is the Rizal Heritage Map which details each destination. In each of the sites, you will get a stamp on your map to commemorate your trip.

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Here are some significant destinations that are part of the tour:

San Fernando Train Station (San Fernando, Pampanga) – Rizal exited this station on June 27 and 28, 1892 to visit friends in San Fernando and Bacolor as part of his mission to recruit members to his La Liga Filipina. Among the houses he visited were those of Tiburcio Hilario in San Fernando on June 27 and Ceferino Joven in Bacolor on June 28. An NHI marker was installed in the station in 2004.

Women of Malolos Marker (Malolos, Bulacan) - The site of the school of the Women of Malolos whom Rizal wrote to on February 22, 1899 from London.

Leonor Rivera House (Camiling, Tarlac) - Leonor Rivera is said to be the inspiration for Maria Clara in Noli Mi Tangere. Rizal and Rivera were in a relationship for eleven years. But Rivera’s mother was against the relationship and intercepted letters from Rizal. Rivera was later convinced by her mother that Rizal no longer loved her and reluctantly married Henry Kipping from England.

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National Capital Region Metro Manila Rizal Park (Manila) - Also known as Bagumbayan or Luneta, this was the place of execution of Rizal on December 30, 1896.

Rizal Monument (Manila) - A National Monument, which houses the remains of Rizal. It was designed by Richard Kissling of Switzerland.

Prison Cell of Rizal in Fort Santiago (Intramuros, Manila) - This was where Rizal was incarcerated during his trial from November 3 to December 29, 1896

Paco Park (Paco, Manila) - Rizal’s remains were secretly interred in the Paco Cemetery. They were guarded for fifteen days by the Guardia Civil Veterana. His remains were exhumed on August 17, 1898, placed in an urn and deposited in the Rizal Residence in Estraude Street.

Region IV and V – Calabarzon and Bicol Region Rizal Shrine (Calamba, Laguna) - A National Shrine, it is a replica of the Rizal House by Juan Nakpil. Restored by Executive Order No. 145 of President Elpidio Quirino, it was inaugurated on June 19, 1950.

Calamba Church (Calamba, Laguna) - A National Historical Landmark, Rizal was baptized in the church by Fr. Rufino Collantes on June 22, 1861.

Rizal in Binan Marker (Binan, Laguna) - Rizal received his first formal schooling under Justiniano Cruz who later advised him to further his studies in Manila.

Rizal Monument (Daet, Camarines Norte) - This was the first monument honoring Rizal in the country. It was built by voluntary contributions of the people of Camarines Norte and unveiled on December 30, 1898. It is a National Historical Monument.

Region IX - Zamboanga Peninsula Rizal Shrine (Dapitan, Zamboanga del Norte) - Rizal’s estate during his exile in Dapitan, it houses replicas of structures he built there for himself, his family, pupils and patients including the Casa Residencia, Family Kitchen, Casa Redonda, Casa Quadrada, Casitas de Salud and Casa Redonda Pequena, among many others.

Dapitan Plaza (Dapitan, Zamboanga del Norte) - A National Historical Landmark, the Dapitan Plaza was planned and beautified by Rizal during his exile. Acacia trees which he personally planted can still be found in the plaza.

Site of the Casa Real (Dapitan, Zamboanga del Norte) - The official residence and administration building of the politicomilitary governor of the district, Rizal lived there from July 17, 1892 to March 1893 when he was transferred to Talisay, now the Rizal Dapitan Shrine.

Dipolog Cathedral (Dipolog, Zamboanga del Norte) - Rizal is said to have designed the church altars of the Dipolog Cathedral. Although the facade has been extremely renovated, the interior remains relatively intact.

Activities for the Rizal Sesquicentennial The calendar for the Rizal Birth Sesquicentennial is growing. Aside from the commemorative ceremonies on June 19, 2011 at the Rizal Shrine in Calamba, many activities are being lined-up by the National Historical Commission of the Philippines (NHCP) and the Rizal Sesquicentennial Executive Committee, historical associations, socio-civic and academic organizations, as well as local government units, to celebrate the 150th birthday of Rizal.

Among them is the 150th Birth Anniversary of Jose Rizal Stamp Design Contest, which will end on February 28, 2011 and The Rizal Sesquicentennial Conference which will be held from July 7 to 9, 2011 in the schools Rizal studied in: the Ateneo de Manila University, University of Santo Tomas, and Letran Calamba.

Filipinos abroad are also encouraged to come up with their own events and activities leading to Rizal’s birthday. Please e-mail Veronica Dado <veronicadado@yahoo.com> of the National Historical Commission of the Philippines for more details.

Do your part in promoting and celebrating the 150th year of Rizal Follow the 150th Birth Anniversary of Dr. Jose Rizal on Facebook and Twitter @Rizal150. And don’t forget use the hashtag #Rizal150 when tweeting about Rizal. Blog about Rizal and share your posts on the Facebook page.

80 TRIPPIN’

The New LuNeTa Bonifacio High Street and Serendra

By Loraine Balita

Remember those good old days when the hottest hang-out in the metro was still Luneta?

The place famous for long romantic strolls along sprawling grass covered park grounds, where you only needed a few coins for merienda? Wouldn’t it be fun to relive those memories?

More than a place for foodies the high street is a haven for shopaholics and book worms alike. Along with flagship stores there is also a five-storey Fully Booked outlet with a basement that houses a collection of comics. Shops like Benetton, Calvin Klein, Nike, Puma, Springfield, Mizuno, Nine West, The Face Shop, and Speedo await the Pinoy fashionista. There’s Istudio that offers an assortment of apple products for apple fanatics and the first Muji branch in the country.

These days, while you’re better off leaving Luneta to tourists and the hoards of people flocking to this park every weekend, there are still areas in Manila where you can have those romantic walk-in-thepark dates. Thankfully, most of the newest hang-outs in the city have been trying to incorporate the outdoor stroll into the whole Filipino dining cum shopping culture with sprawling parks created alongside retail establishments.

One of the most successful in recreating that Luneta walk-in-the-park date experience and elevating it a notch is located in the much talked about Fort Bonifacio Global City. This former American military base is now home to Bonifacio High Street and Serendra, a leisure area that features a humble park, lined with high-end shops and rows of restaurants. Although the park area itself is smaller than that in Luneta and you’d need more than a few coins to get seated in those upscale restaurants, the place with its greeneries and manicured lawn will certainly give you enough reason to forget about Rizal Park.

Bonifacio HigH Street

Bonifacio High Street features shops and restaurants with cafes built around a central park area featuring one-of-a-kind water fountains and sculptures. On weekends you’d often see kids in their skateboards and roller blades or walking their dogs, not to mention couples sitting by the fountains. There’s Texas Grill which is one of the few that first opened in the area along with Krispy Kreme, Mini Shabu Shabu, Cav Wine Shop and Restaurant, Claw Daddy, T.G.I.Friday’s and the ubiquitous Starbucks with the rest of the players in the coffee shop industry — Seattle’s Best, Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, and Figaro to name a few.

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When you’re done shopping for the day you can lounge and rest your tired and swollen feet by the fountains in the park where most wives and girlfriends leave their husbands and boyfriends as they explore one shop after another.

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Serendra Piazza

A few steps away from the high street is Serendra, with its accumulation of posh restaurants. Separated from the Bonifacio High Street by a pedestrian crossing, Serendra’s watering holes are nestled within a cluster of condominiums and residential spaces. Serendra Piazza or Circle as some call it, features fine dining establishments offering a variety of gustatory treats. In the middle of restaurants like Sentro, Mamou, Kape Isla Conti’s Pastry Shop and Resto and Zao Vietnamese Bistro, are small fountains and giant sculptures that give the place an upscale feel. Other establishments provide the perfect dinner date for couples looking for a romantic place to experience foreign fare like Balducci Ristorante and Deli, DUO Steak House and Wine Bar, Mogu Japanese Bar and Grill, and Tatami Japanese Restaurant. For the ultimate saccharine feast there’s gelato from Gelatissimo Café or baked goodies from Cupcakes

by Sonja.

Serendra has also become a haven for expatriates who are looking for a bit more exclusive places to dine. After dinner some stay and lounge in the restaurants ‘till midnight and there are others who choose to walk back to the high street for coffee or tea or just to laze around the park.

The entire strip is a new and improved mini-Luneta sans the traffic because in this side of Manila taxis are the only means of public transport allowed, and even that could be hard to come by at times so most people come here come with their own cars. Yes, no jeeps no tricycles or buses (except for the Fort Bus which has stops a few meters away from the High Street). Parking here is hassle free because there are more than enough parking areas, unless there are big events like concerts usually held at the Fort Bonifacio Open Field.

On the other hand if you would really want to leave the car at home you can hop on one of those Bonifacio Global City buses. Get off at the Ayala MRT station and go down the Ayala North Exit, walk a few meters to the right and there you’ll see jeepneys alongside buses with the “Bonifacio Global City” or the “Fort Bus” logo on the sides. You’d have to pay around PHP11 and tell the conductor to drop you off at the high street. The bus won’t stop right in front of the high street though but you could walk the few meters until you reach the area.

82 FEATURE Onli In Da Pilipins - 1. n. a phrase used to define anything or anyone that only exists anywhere in the 7,107 islands of the Philippines || 2. adj. a phrase used to describe a Pinas episode or a Pinoy persona so rare one would never find anywhere else in the WWW (whole, wide world).

It merits a documentation of some sort.

Love,

Actually

By Aby Yap

Hay, it’s that time of the year once again when the lovefull and the lovefool are the bida, and being loveless makes you the odd man/woman out.

By loveless, we mean any or a combination of these Facebook relationship statuses: Single, Widowed, Separated, and Divorced. Yes, having the “It’s complicated” churva does sound like a better option.

The lovefull, of course, are those who are: In a relationship, Engaged, or Married. They are (or claim to be) madly in love with their respective partners, giving them a valid excuse to drown each other in flowers, chocolates, balloons, and everything heart-shaped (to the loveless’ despair or disdain). The lovefool are simply the baliw sa pag-ibig. To these two species, we dedicate this month’s stories.

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FEATURE 83

The Pinoy Casanova

He could be tall, dark, and/or handsome. If it’s AOTA, meaning ‘all of the above,’ you’re one lucky woman to be sought after by the ultimate Filipino lover. Think Richard Gomez before he tied the knot. If he doesn’t appeal to you, then you must be from a different (younger) generation. A better peg would be Papa Piolo.

Despite being blessed with good genes and his abundant offering of or good intentions, he can never be too presko.

Oh, no, he’s just too much of a gentleman (or torpe, in most cases) to do that. He’d rather go for the pa-simple moves that deal with the essentials in life. A classic example would be the “Kumain ka na ba?” question via text, phone call, or when he personally sees you a little too pallid, er, famished. You must agree that that question is absolutely essential to a country that eats five times a day – sometimes six, if you count a midnight snack. So, you’re touched by his concern, but wish (aloud) that he would just treat you to a posh restaurant instead. And even if he didn’t, he already passed that first crucial step to your heart, through your grumbling stomach.

Then, he’ll start to offer you a ride or his company wherever you go, even if that means going to that dreadful maze that is a mall. He won’t even complain, though you might notice that he’s ready to collapse carrying all your shopping bags. Instead, he’ll crack those silly jokes and be a trying-hard Dolphy just to make you smile. And when he visits you at home, he’ll be fully armed with flowers and chocolates for you, a bilao of kakanin for your parents, candies for your little siblings, and chichacorn for Inday. He’ll also try to do some house errands: chopping wood, fetching water, fixing the cogon roof, etc.

Well, that is if you live far from the cell sites, um, civilization.

He’ll serenade you through videoke and even forward you mushy texts. He’ll ask you to marry him in all the churches in the country even if he doesn’t go to mass regularly himself. It just sounds so romantic to say, “Pakakasalan kita sa lahat ng simabahan.” Though that makes one wonder how many times you’ll need to get an annulment if things go from sweet to sour. He’ll promise you the moon and the stars, but you wish (aloud) he’d just pay your credit card bills. He might even give you Yakapsul and Kisspirin, but only with your consent! Eventually, you’ll be reminded of that verse from Florante and Laura: "O pagibig na makapangyarihan. Pag ikaw ay nasok sa puso ninuman. Hahamakin ang lahat masunod ka lamang."

You used to think that was the cheesiest, corniest, most baduy line you had ever heard. But now, it just makes you kilig to the pits - like melting ice cream under the scorching sun. All because of the pullout-all-the stops charm of the Pinoy Casanova.

The LDR Story

Relationship in the time of Zero Technology? With no technology to close the distance, being in an LDR meant having an imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend.

Ouch, Love Hurts.

Sure, you had the telephone to make those instant albeit hurried long-distance calls (collect, please), but receiving the bill was always an almost near death experience. And to think, that was for only five minutes - minus the time you spent talking to the operator.

Snail mail, true to its name, took months to arrive. That is, if it wasn’t buried in the postal office or pilfered by Mr. Postman looking for inserted cash.

You had those voice messages taped on the good ol’ cassette player— that museum artifact the CD and iPod-loving kids of today look at with wonder and amazement. Remember how lovers from opposite poles of the earth poured out their hearts (and tears) into the player for many sleepless nights, describing in full detail the anguish of living life without the other? How they listened to the tape over and over until the voice started getting scratchy and croaky or until the cassette player would eat up the tape?

Ah, and the video messages! Betamax wasn’t yet reduced to a bloody street food. VHS was still cool. They were, in fact, used to play the video messages recorded via a videocam. So, you had audio+video - genius! Except you could send/receive it only when one of your colleagues went home for a vacation—and that was, when, once a year? By then, you’d have already grown a beard.

No wonder so many hearts were broken. Some even wandered.

Hence, the ‘Number 2.’ (But we won’t go there lest it ignites a World War III among our lovers. In such case, Illustrado shall not be held responsible.)

Instead, let’s proceed to the LDR revolution, where everything happens in real time.

Back then, it was a sad, sad tale. One that would trigger an overnight drinking/karaoke session with this repertoire: Miss You Like Crazy, Miles Away, O Giliw Ko Miss na Miss Kita, Kung Tayo’y Magkakalayo…you get the picture.

You miss your honey, send a text. You feel sexy, time for a steamy webcam chat! You need to know how she’s doing, monitor her tweets. You suspect he’s in touch with his ex(es), look into his FB. (Check his Friendster too. You can’t be too sure.) You want the world to know how much you adore each other, blog away.

The operative word is “karaoke.” Well, who wouldn’t be vulnerable to the worst case of lovesickness when in a complicated Long-Distance

Today’s LDR love stories are never too far from happy endings.

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The Annie B (Batobalani) Chronicles

The adventures and misadventures of a ‘not so average’ Pinay trying to make it in the cosmpolitan city of Dubai.

It’s A Dates!

Chronicle

47

It’s that time of the year once again. Eto na naman. Ganito na lang ba ako habambuhay? Taon-taon na lang paulit-ulit ang mga pangyayari. Parang sumpa. Nang-aasar…nang-iinis…nananadya.

Helleeeer, alam naman ni Kupido ang relationship status ko ngayon ah, “it’s complicated between heaven and hell.” Oo, nasa limbo ang relasyon ko kay Adam my love since last year pa. Dinaanan na nga ako at napaglipasan ng Halloween, Thanksgiving Day, Eid Al Adha, Christmas, New Year, Three Kings, DSF at ngayon naman Valentine’s Day.

Ewan ko ba. Halos mapuno ko na ang Wall nya sa Fezbook ng apologies in different languages… Ilang dosenang international text na ang pinadala ko sa celfone nya, pati miss kol panay ang papansin ko, pero wala pa rin syang reply. I know this is my punishment for being hardheaded and beautifulizing (nagmamaganda). Wish ko lang ma-realize na ni Adam na I’ve grown up and matured na. Naggain na nga ako ng 5 kilos eh. Hindi pa ba sapat na parusa yoooon?

Arghhh!!!

Pero hinde. This time hindi ako magpapaka-la ocean deep. I will not make myself miserable by being alone this Valentine’s Day. Pramis.

Walang anumang delubyo o bagyo ang makaharang sa akin from going out on a date this time. Sabi nila absents makes the heart grow wonder, kaya miski wala si Adam sa tabi ko ngayon, hindi ko hahayaang masayang ang Araw ng Mga Puso ko. And this time it will be perfect. Kaya salamat sa mga ofismeyts, kaibigan at mga contacts ko sa chat noon, may mga nai-line up akong candidates for my perfect Valentine’s Day date this year. Walang kokontra!

Para makasiguro akong magiging perfect talaga ang date ko eh kailangan may praktis muna, may elimination round – parang sa beauty contest. Pumili at nag-research ako ng mataimtim ng limang kalalakihan na ite-test drive ko muna, at kung sino ang pinakaWinona Ryder sa kanila ang magkakamit ng premyong maka-date ko sa Gabi ng mga Puso. Sa mga magiging Luz Valdez, sorry na lang, better lacks next time. Dizzizit!

Monday, Date Number One. Itago na lang natin sya sa pangalang Jhervhic. Oo, may H talaga and not one but two. Dati kong kaklase

Beautifulizing...

noong early college days. Looks-alikes nya si Keno - yung dating singer noon sa Student Canteen - pag naka-sideview. Pero kapag naka-harap eh may pagka-Willie Revillame. Actually crush ko na talaga sya noon pa man. Sobrang chickboy nito noon kaya hindi ako pinapansin. Pero over the years nabalitaan ko na single pa rin at never pang nag-aasawa. Don’t worry, na-triple check ko na din kung bading sya. Negative naman. Kaya nga noong in-add nya ako sa Fezbook at na-confeeerm kong single pa rin sya at ng current location nya: Dubai, UAE, eh isang malaking check agad ang minarka ko sa listahan ko.

So eto na nga, ang venue ng aming date: Johnny Rockets. Hmmm.

Romantic. Brings back memories of our youth. Parang gusto ko biglang mag-ispray ng Aqua Net at mag-tease ng bangs ko. Bumata talaga ako ng dalawang dekada nang makita ko si Jhervhic. Oh-Emgee, ganung-ganun pa rin sya. Naka-wet look na gel sa side tapos may bangs na korteng “U” at mahaba ang buhok sa likod, parang hairstyle ni Aga Muhlach noon sa “Campus Beat.” Naka-Ralph Lauren na long back shirt at baston na pantalon, bitin ng slight.

Swatch ang relo nya at Sperry Topsiders ang suot na sapatos. Teka, ganitong ganito ang porma nya noong Freshman year ah? Hindi nagbago? Ah, baka naman nag-full circle na sya sa fashion – di ba uso na naman ang 80s look ngayon? Whatevuurrrr!

So kumustahan muna, eto ako single pa rin, at sya ganun din. Two years na pala sya dito sa Dubai, freelancing sa sales. Ano yun? Nagpapart time model din daw sya – wala pa ring kupas since his teenage years. Nagmodel din kasi sya dati sa commercial ng Cindy’s (It’s The Place To Be) at para sa kalendaryo ng Zenco Footstep. Naaaks, Big Man On Campus talaga si Jhervhic! Buti kamo binata pa rin sya upto now – although sabi nya apat na raw ang anak nya – puro panganay – but never been married. Ang tulis talaga sa chicks!

Tuloy tuloy na sana ang kilig ko noong gabing yon nang bigla nya akong alukin sumali sa raket nya – sa Networking. Ay, ayoko nga, baka pyramid scam pa yan. Pero ang kulit nya – salesman kasi eh.

Eh dinaan ako sa pangiti-ngiti at pungay ng mukha… Jhervhic, you had me at hiloooo!!! Sige na nga, pagiisipan ko yang alok mo. Pero after nun nawalan na ako ng gana, kasi panay kwentong college ang

FILIPINISMS 85

You had me at hiloooo!!! bukambibig nya. Yung kotse nya noong Lancer Box-type, yung mga disco parties sa Hot Gossip at Heartbeat noon, mga New Wave songs, yung collection nya ng Haruta, Docksides, Espadrilles at BlaBla, yung mga may crush sa kanya… Aba, eh 12-inch remix version ng blast from the past pala ang trip nito! Pero di bale, hanggang matapos ang dinner namin eh feeling ko teenager ulit ako…nakacobra ang buhok, size 21 ang beywang, balingkinitan at sarado ang pores ng skin. Talbog si Mia Pratts!!!

Tuesday, Date Number Two. Meet Francois, my French friend na natisod ko sa Friendster four years ago. Super bait at syempre single. Maasahan si Francois, isang tawag lang always at my serbis.

Waging wagi na sana ang date ko, biruin mo porenjer na, Pranses pa. Matangkad, slim, maputi, atsaka… matangkad. Uhm… medyo may kahabaan kasi ang mukha nya, mistulang crescent moon kapag nakangisi. Ang ilong ipinaglihi sa parrot at ang mga mata parang laging inaantok. Kung naging cartoon character siguro sya pwede syang maging si E.T. Pero di bale, kakaibang experience naman ito – para lang akong nanonood ng World Cinema.

Anyway, sa Paul Café kami nag-date. Kung anu-ano pinagsasabi nya hindi ko naman maintindihan, basta panay “Weee” lang ako ng “Weee,” tango lang din naman sya ng tango. Eto na, nang buksan ko ang Menu eh anak ng pucha, puro French ang nakasulat! Inisaisa ko ang listahan pero wala akong maintindihan. Naku, anu bang kakainin ko dito? Esep-eseeeeep… Naka-order na si Francois pero halos magkanda-duling pa rin ako sa Menu hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano oorderin ko. Pinagpapawisan na ako ng malagkit…oh nooo… nakakahiya naman kay Francois. “Quiche Lorraine?” sabi nya sa akin. “Ha?” sabi ko. “You like Quiche Lorraine?” tanong nya.

Nagulat ako, “What? You like me to kiss you in the rain???” Nalilito ako. Anung pinagsasabi nito? Tapos may sinulat yung waiter. Ahhh, inorder nya ako ng pagkain. “Weee!!!” excited kong sinagot sa kanya.

Bahala na si Batman, ika ko. Kunyari alam ko yun. Dedma.

“You like French food?” tanong nya uli sa akin. “Weeeeee!!!” pagmamalaki kong sagot sa kanya. Aba, baka akala nya eh puro sa Chowking at Tagpuan lang ang kinakainan ko? Mahilig din yata akong mag Japanese foor sa Agemono, at Thai Food sa Baitong paminsan-minsan. Maya-maya pa dumating na ang inorder namin.

“Shooo???” tanong ko kung anong inorder nyang pagkain. Ay, Arabic pala yun hindi French. “O-beer-gin” daw. Grabe ha, lasenggo pala si Francois - beer na, gin pa. Pero puro dahon lang naman at gulay ang laman ng plato niya. “Aubergine!” ulit nya. Kalurkey naman,

pa-obergin, obergin pa eh talong lang naman pala ang kakainin nya.

Sus! Dumating na rin yung order ko. “Quiche Lorraine!” sabi ni Francois. Anubeh, may pa-kish-kish pa eh parang torta lang naman pala yun. Pinasosyal pa yung tawag. Arte huh?!!!

Habang kumakain eh patuloy pa rin ang pagpuputak ni Francois.

Basta tango lang ako ng tango, smile lang ako ng smile. “Bon Apiteeeeeth!!!” sabi ko nga. Ayun natigilan din sya at sumubo na lang.

Nang matapos ang date namin eh lumaklak ako ng isang banig ng Panadol sa sobrang sakit ng ulong inabot ko. Haaayyy…

Wednesday, Date Number Three. Nakilala ko noon si Yousif sa dating company ko. Lebanese Accountant na crush ng buong department namin. Balita ko puro Pinay daw ang mga naging girlfriends nya pero puro mga bilmoko lahat. Palibhasa mabait at ma-Dats Entertainment kaya siguro may I use me in a sentence ang mga girls na dumaan sa buhay nya. Forty years old na sya ngayon, malayo na ang hitsura nya mula nang huli ko syang makita years ago. Kalbo na, lumaki ang tyan at lumapad talaga ang balakang. Pero bakas pa rin ang baby face nya - may pagka-Andre Agassi pa naman sya noon.

Sa Al Hallab kami nag-dinner. Sarap ng pagkain. Hummus pa lang nabusog na ako. Pero since pang-Fiesta ang inorder ni Yousif sa dami eh napilitan pa akong mag-Shish Tawook, Grilled Lamb Chops at apat na platitong Umm Ali. Burp! Hihihi. Galante talaga si Yousif pagdating sa babae. Bukod sa pagkaing para kaming bibitayin bukas sa dami eh, may regalo pa sya sa aking tatlong kilong Baklavah sweets. Sigurado nitong pagkatapos ng gabing ito eh maglasinglaki na rin ang balakang naming dalawa sa dami ng mga nilamon ko.

Okay si Yousif. A Good Catch of a Big Fish ika nga nila. Jackpot pa dahil naghahanap daw sya ng mapapangasawa ngayon. As a matter of facts, nakaplano na daw lahat para sa kasal nya. Bride na nga lang daw ang kulang. Nasa edad na raw kasi sya to settle down and raise his own family. Balak na raw nyang bumalik sa Beirut at doon na lang magnegosyo kasama ang mga magulang nya at magiging pamilya.

Talagang handang handa na syang lumagay sa tahimik. In fact, kung gusto ko daw next week magpakasal na kami. Aayyy, teka muna! First date pa lang tapos kasal na? Sobra namang too goods to be truth ito?

May nakasulat bang isang malaking Desperada sa noo ko?

Hindi ko yata kaya! Biruin mo lilipat na ako sa Beirut? Mami-miss ko ang pabulosang buhay ko sa Dubai and my frens? Pero in the other hands, pwede rin akong magka-anak ng mga mestisa at blue-

86 FILIPINISMS

Oh-Em-Geeee!!!

eyed babies na pwede pag-artistahin sa Pilipinas. Biruin mo, sikat na ang mga anak ko, pwede pa akong makipag-rub in the elbows kina Anabelle Rama, Daisy Romualdez at Ligaya Salonga? Pwede???

I don’t like…

Thursday, Date Number Four. Gwapo si Spencer, 25, bagets at fresh na fresh. Parang Marvin Agustin na pinaghalong Wowie De Guzman. Okay pumorma at laging humahalimuyak sa bango. Sa Perfume Shop kasi sya nagtra-trabaho sa may Karama. Pumayag syang makipag-date sa akin kapalit ng pitong tester ng pabangong pinakyaw ko sa kanya noon.

Mahilig sa gadgets si Spencer. Naka iPhone na, may Blackberry pa – pang-Roaming daw nya. Hi techs! Bukod don, meron din syang latest Canon digicam na secret na pang magnet ng mga chicks. Pipickchuran ka nya tapos pag pinakita nya sa yo yung shots tsaka ka nya bobola-bolahin na kesyo maganda ang mga mata mo, ang lips mo, ang nunal mo… Effective daw, inaamin nya. Expert din sya sa japorms. Panay Lacoste daw ang tshirts nya at Diesel ang mga maong na paborito nya. Nangongolekta sya ng Nike rubber shoes at miski lubog na ang araw eh palagi syang naka-Oakley shades – nakakagwapo daw 24 hours a day. Kunsabagay medyo hindi halatang may pagka-kirat sya pag naka-shades nga naman sya.

Nang matapos ang dinner naming sa Barrio Fiesta eh nag-volunteer syang magbayad. Aba, anong drama ito? Medyo out of characters yata ang manlibre sya ah. Pero nang bumalik ang waiter para sabihin sa kanyang declined ang creadit card nya eh nakaamoy na ako ng tsismis. Hmmm… mukhang napanood ko na to ah. Syempre ang ending, ako rin ang bumunot ng wallet ko. Pero hindi na dun natapos ang hirit ni Spencer, umorder pa ng Kare-kare at Tapsilog na takeout. Pam-breakfast at baon daw nya para bukas. Oh-EmGeeee!!! Next!

Friday, Date Number Five. May edad na si Manny. Siguro lampas Singkwenta na sya pero hindi halata. Makapal kasi ang buhok at kutis baby, medyo luwa nga lang ng konti ang mga mata dahil sa laki ng eye bags nya. Ok pa rin naman ang hitsura nya, may asim pa.

Hindi nga lang palangiti, halatang may pinagdadaan sa buhay kaya madalas mapagkamalang suplado. Isa syang engineer at maganda ang estado sa buhay. Stable ang career nya at kumbaga sa pader eh siguradong matibay at masasandalan. Parang bangko di ba?

Halos apat na taon na rin nang maging balo si Manny. Hindi ko na tinanong kung ano ang naging dahilan ng pagpanaw ng asawa nya dahil sa bakas ng mukha nya eh mukhang iiyak sya any moment na kulitin ko pa sya. Sabi nya he doesn’t mind daw. In facts, he loves

talking about his late wife. Naikwento nya sa akin ang love story nila. Buong buo. Kung paano sila nagkakilala sa POEA. Pinasingit daw nya sa pila ng pagkuha ng OEC tapos nagkatabi rin daw sila sa eroplano pauwi ng Pilipinas. Nagkwentuhan daw sila sa buong flight hanggang magka-developan sila. Pagbalik nila ng Dubai mula sa bakasyon nila eh naging sila na. Ang sweet ha. Marami daw silang common interests. Pareho daw silang mahilig magbasa ng libro. Pareho daw silang mahilig sa Harry Potter at Lord of the Rings. Mahilig din daw silang mag-Karaoke. “Will Of the Wind” daw ang theme song nila at pareho nilang kayang tugtugin sa piano ito. Buong magdamag nagkwento si Manny tungkol sa asawa nya.

Ni hindi nya ako kinumusta kung busog na ba ko o hindi, kaya ako naman sige lang, order ng order, walang tigil ang kakalamon.

Obviously, nakipag-date sya sa akin para lang may makinig sa mga never-ending stories nya about his wife.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ako focused noong nakipagdate ako buong lingo. Nag-enjoy naman ako (sarap naman ng food eh) pero hindi ko sya kinareer. Ewan ko ba. Tuwing umuuwi ako pagkatapos ng bawat date eh si Adam pa rin lagi ang naiisip ko. Kumusta na kaya sya? Ano kaya ginagawa nya? Kumain na kaya sya? Saan kaya sya nagpunta?

Pilit ko mang binubura sa isip ko para hindi ako malungkot eh puro sya pa rin ang laging naaalala ko. Kaya nagpasya na lang ako na hindi na ako makikipag-date sa mismong Valentines Day. Tutal wala naman akong mapili sa limang naka-date ko, mag-a-abstane na lang ako para tapos na ang istorya.

Kinabukasan, mismong Araw ng mga Puso, nagulat ako ng bumulaga sa desk ko sa opisina ang sandamukal na mga bulaklak. Tatlong dosenang red roses – mistulang nag-mukhang Dangwa ang work station ko. May chocolates at malaking Teddy Bear pang kasama.

Akala ko nagkamali ng delivery si Kupido pero nang basahin ko ang card ang nakasulat eh, “Will you be my Valentine? Tonight at 8pm. Missing you. ADAM” Eeeeeeeeekkkkk!!! Halos himatayin ako sa tuwa. Hindi ko akalaing isu-surprise nya ako ng ganito. Pramis!

Habang inaamoy ko ang mga bulaklak at nilalantakan ang tsokolate eh humahagulgol ako sa labis na tuwa. Akala tuloy ng mga kaopisina ko eh naloloka na ako.

Later that night, kuntodo outfit talaga akong naghanda para sa Valentine’s date ko. Eksaktong alas-otso ng gabi, pinagsaluhan namin ni Adam ang paborito naming comfort food, Century Tuna Hot & Spicy with Skyflakes, habang nagcha-chat kami sa Skype. Matapos kumain ay nagkaayos na kami. Sorry dito, sorry doon. Ganon lang pala kasimple yun. Well, siguro napapanahon na rin. Sulit talaga ang paghihintay ko. Moral of the lesson of the story: Patience is the best policy.

I swear, this is the best Valentine’s Date ever. Dizzizit!!!!

FILIPINISMS 87

Kabayan “Love” Commandments Illustrado readers have come up with their own take on the “Kabayan Love Commandments.” Here’s what they have come up with -

• Thou shall speak in your native tongue when talking to fellow Filipinos. No need to pretend that you can speak English fluently if you can’t. We understand. We will not judge you.

• Thou shall not pull your kabayan down like the proverbial crab.

• Thou shall always be compassionate, quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger and practice forgiveness with your kabayan.

• Thou shall not ask about your kabayan’s salary, especially if you just met him for the first time.

• Thou shall not provide bad service and take your kabayan for granted.

• Thou shall not covet thy kabayan’s wife if the husband is in the Philippines.

• For Filipino Receptionists: Thou shall not say ‘Kabayan po ba?’ when picking up the phone.

• For Filipinos in the Metro: Thou shall not talk too loud on the phone, discussing what “ulam” to eat for dinner, etc…”

• Thou shall not shout on waiters and waitresses, especially kabayans, when ordering your food.

• Thou shall stop making a big deal out of small things. Sweat them off and move on with your head up.

• For Filipino Cabin Crew: Thou shall not feel better off, more beautiful, more fashionable, and more educated than other Filipinos.

Serve your fellow Filipinos properly like real customers. Ask ‘water or soda?’ with a polite tone, without raising any eyebrow.”

• For Filipino airline passengers: Do not abuse the kindness of the Pinay cabin crew by making unreasonable requests.

• Thou shall not limit friendship(s) to birthday parties, night outs, and kasiyahan. Make a vow to be with your friends for better or for worse – especially for worse.

• For Filipino housemates: Thou shall not over share your family problems, work problems, heart problems, and money problems with your housemates. They may not care. And their lives may be more problematic than yours.

• For Filipino Landladies: Thou shall not charge beyond humanly acceptable rent margins. Thou shall not show extreme hostilities if your tenants has reasonable payment delays. And thou shall not accommodate 10 tenants in a room suitable only for four.

• Thou shall not gang up and put one person (or the minority) down just because most of your ‘coolest’ friends convince you to do so. Be a mediator not a conspirator.

• Thou shall not display your car keys. No need to let the world know that you passed the driving test or that you own a car. Being humble will not hurt!

• Thou shall not flaunt your designer bags. We know you can afford it!!!

• Thou shalt not talk on the phone as if you are talking on a megaphone, especially when you have just sent remittance to your family, moreso when you are in a restaurant as it makes us lose our appetite. Buti na lang hindi uso ang hold-up dito!

• Thou shalt not wrap your arms around your expat boyfriend, as if somebody will snatch him away from you.

• For Filipinos in General: Umarte lamang naaayon sa ganda (act according to your beauty.)

Special thanks to Obet Ramos, Toni Carvajal Julaton, Zena Baranda, Sonny Guzman, Darwin Guevarra, Ion Gonzaga, Fretsyl Ching Elizalde, Agnes Briggs, Jinggay Dinsay, Dee Dipon and Geraldine Ilano Santos Mehra who generously contributed their Kabayan Commandments.