ILLUSTRADO Magazine Feb 2015

FEBRUARY-MARCH 2015

CHAMPIONING THE WORLD CLASS FILIPINO

ISSUE

93

LOVE ME TINDER, LOVE ME SWEET!

HOW TECHNOLOGY IS CHANGING THE DATING LANDSCAPE

FINDING MR. RIGHT

THE FIX

DEMYSTIFYING ARRANGED MARRIAGES

THESE SHOES AREN’T MADE FOR WALKING WHY WOMEN BOTHER WITH HIGH HEELS

MO’ MONEY, MO’ LOVE?

OF RELATIONSHIPS & FINANCIAL FREEDOM

FIXATE

#LiveToLove

PHOTOGRAPHY by EROS GOZE

EDITOR’S NOTE

Firing up your passions

I grew up seeing an older generation of Filipinos conditioned to settle for the cookie-cutter idea of life. You grow into adulthood, you settle down young, make yourself a family, and then devote all your energies to bringing up the kids. And finally, before you know it, you’ve hit your retirement years, and sink into the proverbial “rocking chair” waiting for the twilight of your life.

Find your passion.

Discover what makes you feel alive, that which deserves your time, effort and commitment; that special something worth taking a big leap for, that keeps you going even through life’s seemingly boring routines, as well as the tough times.

It’s a common formula. Still, it is not a way of life that is exclusive to the generation of our parents and the ones before them. At times, you could see the same symptoms with folks who are (supposedly) currently at the prime of their life.

Passion is not just the exclusive domain of couples and lovers. It is when you see yourself intensely driven and energized in the name of worthy pursuits, or the things and causes you feel strongly about, and give you immense joy. Being passionate means doing something greater than yourself, giving the world your very own contribution.

Are you a zombie? One of those who goes through the motions of life with a blank stare, drifting from routine-to-routine, allowing yourself to be swallowed by the banality of the day-to-day. It’s the widespread lethargia of contemporary life - a lot of us inevitably get overwhelmed by work, responsibilities, commitments, and sometimes self-imposed cultural limitations.

Whether that may be big or small, or you, young or old, able-bodied or not, is immaterial. The most important thing is that you poured yourself into something worthy of your God-given gifts, redeeming yourself from a life that is lived without a purpose, revolving solely on routine and the obvious.

Sometimes, it’s because we’re tired (or most likely, “sick and tired”), or plain lazy, or perhaps we’ve simply resigned ourselves that this is how life is. We feel empty and unexcited, but just can’t be bothered to make an effort or don’t know how to shake off that gnawing feeling inside.

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

Wouldn’t it be nice to get up in the morning all pumped-up and enthusiastic to meet the new day’s promise? Wouldn’t it be good to feel that you are truly living instead of just merely existing?

Do not settle. Demand for more in life. Because a life without passion is a life not lived at all.

Nelson Mandela Taas Noo, Filipino!

LALAINE CHU-BENITEZ Publisher and Editor-in-Chief

ILLUSTRADO 3

TALKING LOUD

Write to us at: admin@illustrado.net or join the discussion at IIlustrado Magazine’s Facebook page

Hello Illustrado! Amazing Jan 2015 issue! So informative, especially for people like me who are considering moving to another country. I was very happy to read about worthwhile tips from fellow Filipinos. There’s nothing like hearing the recommendations of a kababayan who knows what us Pinoys generally look for. My family and I are considering moving from Abu Dhabi to Toronto – we’re preparing our application for Canada right now. I hope that everything goes smoothly for us. We know that it takes some time, but judging from what we’ve read and from friends’ advice – it’s worth the wait. So fingers crossed…

We’ll be bracing for the cold winter, instead of the uber hot summer, in the near future.

MARIA LEYVA

Filipinos have become modern day nomads, scattered in so many countries from pole to pole, around the world. And that’s a good thing!

Kahit saan yata tayo magpunta, may kabayan na! I won’t be surprised kung meron nang magtatayo ng Pinoy panaderia sa may North Pole!

This is what you truly call Pinoy World Domination!

REYNALDO GUZMAN

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Hello to our fellow Filipinos! I’m a private teacher here in Almaty. I’ve been in Kazakhstan since 2009 and I’m happy to say that we have a lot of successful Filipinos here. A lot of them are engineers, teachers and technical workers. When I was new here, I used to feel homesick. But things are better over the years. I get together with my Filipino friends during the weekends to catch up and amuse ourselves with good food, singing (videoke) and chit-chat at our friends’ apartments. Sometimes, especially during the summer, we go to parks and even to the mountains to enjoy the beauty of nature. I feel very blessed to have this opportunity to find a good career here and be able to help my family, while at the same time, enjoy the company of good people. So to those Filipinos who are new abroad and are still shedding tears because their loved ones are so far, be strong and be patient. You will be fine. Do your best everyday so you can make the most of this blessing given to you. Seek out other Filipinos because they can help you in times of sadness and need. Most of all, never lose trust in Him.

galing natin. Ilan na ang nagawa kung shoots na makikita sa roads ng UAE. Truly, Pinoy ang mga nasa likod ng mga fab na commercials and print ads na nakikita natin.

KIRIN KZK

DEEKSHA MONTEIRO

Sana po magkaron sana ng write-ups tungkol sa mga Filipino sa industriya namin. Kasi malaki po yung help ng mga kabayan natin sa fashion industry ng UAE - like mga make-up artists, model bookers, models and etc. In my case po, I am a model booker and I always book Filipino stylists, make-up artist and staff. I really do believe sa

In a humble way po, I am proud na nag-iisa ng Pinoy ako na nag-wowork sa isang nangungunang modeling agency sa Dubai, and they can see kung paano tayo gumawa. I’m just saying kasi po mga nasa industriya natin makikita mo lahat mapaliit man o malaki ang fashion show, Pinoy ang nangunguna.

MARK ANTHONY PALABRICA

Thank you, Illustrado Magazine and Liali Jewellery for this wonderful opportunity to express our love.

Technology is so advanced that nobody writes a love letter these days. This contest made me sit back and write a letter to my valentine cherishing all our beautiful memories.

And this in turn rekindled our love and sparked our romance. I enjoyed taking part in the contest. Thank you so much.

CONTRIBUTORS

ALFRED “KRIP” A. YUSON Esteemed writer Krip Yuson has earned distinctions as a literary author of over 20 other books — from poetry, short stories, children’s stories, biographies, and translation. A Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature Hall-of-Famer, Krip regales us with his musings in his column, “Illuminati.”

ABY YAP

Aby’s Onli in da Pilipins column touches on stories celebrating the exciting uniqueness, the sheer honesty and humor, of Pinoy culture. Aby captures Pinoy way of life so well that everyone can relate to her column or at least see one of your relatives among them! In this issue, Aby writes about the resolutions you just can’t make when you are in the Philippines.

FRANCISCO COLAYCOEsteemed Resident personal finance guru Francisco J. Colayco and Illustrado’s Money columnist has several best-selling books to his credit, and an advocacy on teaching Filipinos how to prosper. In his column this month, he tackles the sensitive issue on whether couples should have separate bank accounts

NICHOLO JALLORES

BO SANCHEZ

Best-selling author, renowned speaker and TV personality, Bro. Bo Sanchez, doesn’t really need any introduction. This Ten Outstanding Young Men (TOYM) awardee shares worthwhile words of wisdom with Illustrado readers in his column on Spirituality.

Nicholo Jallores is an advertising account executive, writer, singer, dancer, cardio junkie and a wannabe theoretical physicist. When he was young, his grandmother convinced him that anything is possible, and gullible child that he was he believed her. He engraved that mindset so deeply on the core of his being that now he walks around the city thinking that he can be anything and everything — a dangerous man. He eats his steak rare and mooing, because he believes that if one wants to have the best things in life, he must not be afraid of tasting a bit of blood in his mouth.

KRISTINE ABANTE

AMBASSADOR GRACE RELUCIO-PRINCESA

KC ABALOS-ORENDAIN

Dubai-based Kristine Abante calls herself an analog girl in a digital world.

A struggling writer in the guise of a corporate executive, she believes in seven impossible things before breakfast and in silly things like peace, love and understanding. A cat person and fan of social media, she spends a little too much time in the internet. In this issue, Kristine delves on current dating trends and looks at love in this age of social media.

BARNEY ALMAZAR, ESQ

Atty. Barney is a director at the Commercial Department of Gulf Law in the Middle East, Philippines and United Kingdom. He holds Juris Doctor and MBA dual degrees with concentration on International Business and European Union Law (University of London). He is a partner at Avanti Gulf, a recruitment company with access to 400 firms and 16,000 recruiters across six continents.

EXCEL DYQUIANCO Excel Dyquianco is both a vagabond and a writer. He has tackled all sorts of topics for illustrado including planning for the future (which included getting a memorial plan) and travel tips. In his article ‘Your Home, Your Work Place,” Excel gets off the wanderer’s trail to write about how a couple of Filipinos who are passionate collectors.

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Career diplomat, doting mother of five and servant leader, Ambassador Grace Princesa is the first female Philippine Ambassador to the UAE. Having spent over two decades in Philippine Foreign Services, she had previous postings in Chicago, Cairo, Geneva and Baghdad.

This month, Ambassador Princesa shares the good news on recent honors won by Filipinos in the UAE.

KC spends her time reading as many books as she possibly can and traveling to as many places as her piggy bank allows. As a teacher of philosophy from UP, she finds that she really knows nothing and that’s what makes it fun. As a freelance writer for more than a decade, she realizes that words escape her when she needs it the most. As a dancer, she wishes she can jeté higher or shimmy faster. Frustrated by all this, she is now a graduate student studying in Kobe University, Japan.

ANNA DE LEON Anna de Leon is a make-up artist and stylist who is passionate about educating and empowering women through make-up, and styling.

Breezing through life in her black stilettos and red lipstick with no excess baggage, this Dubai-based sophisticate says who has kissed dating goodbye (at least for now) shares about finding Mr. Right.

CHAMPIONING THE WORLD CLASS FILIPINO

PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Lalaine Chu-Benitez CREATIVE DIRECTOR Mon Benitez ASSOCIATE EDITOR Ana Santos COLUMNISTS Aby Yap Alfred “Krip” Yuson Barney Almazar Bo Sanchez Francisco Colayco CONTRIBUTING WRITERS – UAE, Mary Ann “Maps” PHILIPPINES, CANADA Santos SWITZERLAND Nephele Kirong Angela Mapa Nikka Sarthou Anna Oposa Nina Terol-Zialcita Barbara Marchadesch P.A. Escalante Candice Lopez Quimpo Princes Nedamo Dante Gagelonia Quay Evano Didi Paterno Rache Hernandez Excel Dyquianco Regina Layug-Lucero Kara Santos Mary Ann Marchadesch Sherry Tenorio Sonny Guzman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS –UAE, PHILIPPINES & USA Eros Goze Alex Calueng Glenn Peter-Perez Cristina Linaza Dr. Marlon Pecjo Donald Rosales Raen Badua Irvin Rivera CONTRIBUTING FASHION CREW - UAE Ginno Alducente Jessie Tabla Jojo Padua PUBLISHER – UAE Illustrado Communications FZ-LLC 2nd Floor, Building 2, Dubai Media City United Arab Emirates P.O. Box 72280 Office 20C Tel: +971 4 365 4543, 365 4547 Fax: +971 4 360 4771 E-mail: admin@illustrado.net Web: illustradolife.com, illustrado.net Facebook: Illustrado Magazine Twitter: Illustrado Magazine PRINTERS Printwell Printing LLC P.O. Box 18828 Dubai, UAE STOCK IMAGES Shutterstock.com (Unless otherwise specified) Copyright Illustrado Communications FZLLC 2006 – 2015 All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of Illustrado Communications FZ-LLC.

44

FEB 2015 CONTENTS

Shot against the backdrop of Intramuros’ old world charm, Passionata features the classic elegance of BEA ROSE SANTIAGO and fashion designer Leo Almodal’s designs. Photography by Melson Bolonggaita.

features Love 2.0: Dating in the Digital Age 10 Where is the Love? Understanding Arranged Marriages 16 Why Women Love Heels 22 Finding Mr. Right 26 Curious Obsessions 28

67

columns Editor’s Note 1 Talking Loud 2 Contributors 4 Illuminati: Getting that Fix(ed)! 8 Bayanihan: Love and Pride for World Class Filipinos 31 It’s What I Do 32 Spirituality: I Still Date My Ex-Girlfriend 36 Money: Should couples keep separate accounts? 38 Law: Collecting child support from absentee fathers 40 Illustrado Scrapbook 42 10 Things To Do 64 Trippin’: Summer Child Goes to the Sapporo Snow Festival 67 Onli: 14 Most Annoying Things Pinoy Couples Do 74 On the Prowl, In the Know 76

fashion Fashion: Passionata 44

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UNITED ARAB EMIRATES ABU DHABI & AL AIN

Abela Al Ain, Abu Dhabi Airport Lobby and Airport Transit areas, Abu Dhabi Coop Society – Khalifa, Hamdan, Meena and Buteen branches, Al Ain Palace Hotel, Albert Abela Superstore, Al Atial Novelty Store – INTCO and Rotana branches, All Prints, Bookplus Store - Al Ain, Books Gallery, Carrefour – Abu Dhabi Airport Road, Marina Mall and Al Ain branches, Hilton Abu Dhabi, Limar Bookshop, Milan Gifts, Raouat Al Reef - Al Ain, Sana Modern Trading, Spinney’s Khalidiya, United Bookstores and Westzone Trading * Distributed FREE to Meritus Club Members

DUBAI & NORTHERN EMIRATES

Asia Pacific Cargo – Karama, Books Gallery – Jumeirah, Mall of the Emirates and Sahara Center branches, Carrefour – Ajman, Century Mall, Deira City Center, Mall of the Emirates, Sharjah, Shindagha, Ras Al Khaimah, Choitrams - Emirates Hills, Green Community, the Greens, Rashidiya, Safa Park, Springs and Umm Suqueim, CM Supermarket, Karama, Dubai Airport Duty Free Shops, Geant Hypermarket - Ibn Battuta Mall, Hyper Panda - Dubai Festival City, Jashanmal - Caribou Uptown Mirdiff and Wafi City, Magrudy Bookshop - Deira City Center and Ibn Battuta Mall branches, News Centre - Deira City Center, DIFC, Mall of the Emirates and Sahara Center branches, Philippine Supermarket – Satwa, Spinneys - Al Ghurair Center, Bin Souqat, Meadows Town Centre, Mercato, Mirdiff, Prime Rose, Ramada Bur Dubai and Trade Center Rd. Bur Dubai branches

BAHRAIN

24 Hours – Al Hamala, Al Zahra Avenue, Busaiteen Muharra and Hoora branches, Al Batra Supermarket, Al Fahad Cold Store – Zallaq, Al Ghadeer Foodstuff – Al A’ali, Al Hilal Administration – Sheraton Complex, Al Jazira Supermarket – Zinj, Adliya and Juffair branches, Al Mena Supermarket – Adliya, Al Shahd Market – Hamad Town, Buheji Center – Budaiya, City Pharmacy – Sitra Mall, Dairaty Market – Duraz, Evershine Supermarket – Rifa’a, Geant Hypermarket – Manama, Hamad Town Supermarket, Hassan Mahmood Cold Store – Opp. Awal Cinema, Hidd Co-Op Society, Jassim Markets – Busaiteen Muharra, Jawad Convenience Stores – Budaiya, Jawad Express Bapco Station – Seef, Jawad Supermarket – Nuwaidarat Sitra, Kaifan Cold Stores – Hamad Town, Little Kingdom Cold Stores – Manama, Manayer Supermarket – Awali, Midway Supermarket – Hamala, Muharraq, West Rifa’a and Gudaibiya branches, Muntaza Supermarket – Muharraq, Muntaza Supermarket – Sitr Muharraqa, The News Stationery – Manama, Universal Food Center – Rifa’a

QATAR

Ahlan Wassahlan Bookshop, Alam Al Agziya – Landmark, Al Aaela Shopping Centre- Al Nasr, Airport and Al Rayan branches, Al Madina Supermarket, Al Mustaqbal Bookshop, Al Qalam Bookshop, Al Usra Bookshop, Al Waha Marketing Centre, Daheel Food Centre, Dar Al Oroouba Bookshop, Dar Al Thaqafa Al Kitab and Al Nasr, Dasman Hypermarket, Dasman Shopping Centre, Jarir Bookshop, Jehaz Bookshop Al Mansoora, Khayat Fitwell, Lamcy Supermarket, Lulu Al Sharq, Megamart Centre, Newsstand Landmark, Rawabi Food Centre, Strand Bakery, Supermarket Al Taif Al Nasr and Supermarket Sak Illustrado magazine is sold in over 150 outlets around the Gulf, including

Oman and Kuwait.

ILLUMINATI

by Krip Yuson

When I learned that this magazine’s theme for the February issue would be fixation, I immediately joked my S.O. that I’d be writing about her — appropriately enough, on and for the love month.

She fired back by SMS that I probably didn’t mean her, as that would then be obsession. Hmmm. Got me there.

I just had to check out my laptop dictionary to ascertain the distinction.

Here “fixation” is defined as “an obsessive interest in or feeling about someone or something.” Examples of usage provided are: “his fixation on the details of other people’s erotic lives | our fixation with diet and fitness.”

On the other hand, “obsession” is “the state of being obsessed with someone or something,” as in “she cared for him with a devotion bordering on obsession.” Or “an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on

ILLUSTRADO 10

a person’s mind,” to wit, “he was in the grip of an obsession he was powerless to resist.”

As a verb, “obsess” (usually “be obsessed”) is to “preoccupy or fill the mind of (someone) continually, intrusively, and to a troubling extent.”

An example: “her husband, who is obsessing about the wrong she has done him.”

Clearly, a fixation then seems to be an obsession however mild or milder, while the latter is of a more grievous sort, to partake of which suggests being beholden to a dark or darker side.

“To a troubling extent,” the definition qualifies.

To be fixated is to be unduly interested in or fascinated with someone or something. To be obsessed seems to imply crossing a line in terms of this degree of fixation, a perilous one

beyond which is unhealthy territory.

We get fixated on schedules, or certain lifestyle habits. Apart from the song’s “Route 66,” we get our fixes elsewhere, as in nicotine, coffee, or sugar fix. Oops, did I say not crossing that defining line is to stay healthy? Let’s make that perilous on both counts. But it’s still being obsessed that needs to be fixed.

Or does it? At 16 when I started playing around with poetry, an early verse I wrote had the line: “Love is not love if it’s not obsession.”

Ha ha. How presumido, as my grandma might have said. Still, little did I know, at that sweet age, that I would, in fact, precociously presage that future state when romantic devotion goes beyond fixation and lands one in the grip of confusing exhilaration.

Okay, so may I now go ahead with

ILLUMINATI

To be fixated is to be unduly interested in or fascinated with someone or something. To be obsessed seems to imply crossing a line in terms of this degree of fixation, a perilous one beyond which is unhealthy territory. one more bold step and depart from ambiguity, own up as to whether I have indeed, at some time, been gripped that way, or was even just fixated on a romantic interest?

Own up I will. My S.O. and I are both mature single parents, with kids that still stay with us, respectively (in my case, even a granddaughter). Our relationship is ruled for the most part by two ribbons of highway, C-5 and SLEX, or a total of 23 kilometers of road that separate our residences from Valle Verde in Pasig to Alabang Village in Muntinlupa.

The mutual attraction and caring have gone on for over four years, albeit there have been many sorry patches of contention, largely owing to my mercurial temper and, despite or because of my age, a severe want of patience. My beef has generally been her lack of time for me, given her devotion to her kids (in college and high school) and the nature of her work as a free-lancing food stylist, who can be on call any time.

until we can’t stand the separation and start purring anew rather than snarling at one another. Maybe it doesn’t help that we’re both Pisceans, with midnight alone separating our birthdays in this love month.

Recently, medical episodes on my part have whispered intimations of mortality, and convinced me just as much that she truly cares for this old and yet ageing geezer. She does, as manifested with clarity and strength when I landed in the hospital and all throughout my recuperation at home.

I have since tried to persuade her to let all bygones be bygones, and for us to establish an even keel with permanence.

It seems we’re both coming around to this wonderful idea.

Now here is where we split ways — on this page, that is. I can only speak for myself when I say I need her for a daily fix,

although I’m aware and can understand that we can’t yet live together. Similarly, I can only speak for myself when I declare that I may be obsessed, all right, with that eventual possibility.

For now, it’s already a formidable challenge just getting over Valentine’s Day (with the likelihood that we might not have an evening date because her oldest boy still has no girlfriend to go out with), the start of the Chinese Lunar Year (would she be free from family and work for us to enjoy the pyrotechnic displays off Mall of Asia?), and a planned weekend on a resort island on the eve of our natal days (here’s hoping no work call comes for her).

Yes, that serial hopefulness already poses quite a challenge. And we’ve only just begun this month of fixation and obsession.

This has resulted in broken concert dates, island jaunts, important socials (important for me) when I’ve had to suddenly go solo. I try to understand, but my frequent loneliness leads to other issues. We’ve been on and off, on again, ever on a roller-coaster ride from euphoria to sadness and back.

We’ve traveled considerably together, among our islands, to many foreign cities, collecting a myriad of terrific memories. But we’ve quarreled in Tehran, and she’s walked out on me amid the ruins of Persepolis and at a hotel in Kuta, Bali.

In brief, we’ve been like cats and dogs,

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FEATURE

By Kristine Abante

Imagine if Shakespeare was alive today, he might find it a challenge trying to fit his sonnet into 140 characters for Twitter, or perhaps his famous star-crossed lovers Romeo and Juliet would instead be finding each other through an online dating site, their love affair more conveniently carried out through exchanging secret messages on Whatsapp or Viber, with Juliet sending 5-second selfies on Snapchat to Romeo, and the two of them documenting their dates on Instagram.

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FEATURE

In fact, gone are the days when Cupid looked like a baby with an arrow. Today’s version of cupid is hipster looking guy in his 20s or early 30s running a successful match-making start-up app that has gone massive across the world.

The Game of Love Tinder, Grinder, Ok Cupid, Match. com, Eharmony, are just some the sites that are now redefining our views and experience of romance and relationships faster than the next available upgrade.

Being the social media-savvy Pinoys we are, we are definitely not left behind in the digital love revolution, add to that the effect of our ever-growing Diaspora.

Many of us working and setting down our roots in different parts of the world have

discovered the ease and convenience of online dating.

meeting new friends, but so far nothing serious has come out for me from it.”

Tinder for instance, lets you select and meet people within your preferred range (age, interests, and distance) and allows you to filter messages from people who have indicated interest. It’s also easy to use as you only needs to swipe right if you like someone or left if you are not interested. This app is mainly popular for singles living in big cities, like Dubai, Singapore or New York, where busy schedules and hectic lifestyles make it quite difficult to meet new people.

Meanwhile dating web sites Ok Cupid, Match.com and Eharmony require more effort and commitment, as they require you to fill out a more detailed questionnaire so they would get a better idea of what kind of person and relationship you are looking for. Paid sites such as Eharmony would charge as much as US$50 for matching your profile.

Other popular messaging apps, like Badoo, Skout or Meetme goes by the same idea letting users get in touch with other interested singles in the area without the risk of giving their personal numbers or even real names.

A Pinay active user based in the UAE who prefers to be called Tinderella101 shares, “I use Tinder mainly for fun. If you think about it, it’s no different from a game on your phone. Sometimes when I’m with friends, we get entertained by looking at the profiles, liking and chatting with random guys. I rarely meet with the guys I chat with, but sometimes when an interesting person shows up, I’d be willing to go out with him and just see how it goes. It’s a convenient way of

Joey Sarillo based in Iloilo, Philippines shares her experience on subscribing to a dating website. “I got into online dating through EHarmony. The first time I joined, I was really excited. And in just one week, I have received 400+ emails.

I didn’t expect that it would be a lot. It was overwhelming seeing a lot of guys were interested to know you.”

“Well, with traditional dating, it will require you to go out in order to meet people and not every guy you meet would be interested to date you. But if you’re a homebody like me, I prefer online dating. It’s even safer because it’s

ILLUSTRADO 13

FEATURE

non-physical and you can always choose who you want to talk to - you can select the type of guy you want to be matched with. The only disadvantage is that there are a lot of posers, scammers and fake profiles, not to mention, perverts but you can always block them or report them for abuse.”

Hits and misses Just like traditional dating, digital romance also has its share of hits and misses. “I never did the “traditional” blind dates of being set up with friends, so I found the experience of being on a blind date with an online app as the matchmaker to meet up new guys useful,” shares Guia Yu, who has been living in Dubai for over 7 years. “I would say the advantage is being able to choose who you want to date, but if you base it on an online profile, the downside could be finding out that the guy is a married or is in fact a douchebag .”

Speaking of douchebags, romantic poetess Danabelle Gutierez has had her share of them, from the hilarious to

ILLUSTRADO 14

the downright absurd. She has actually screen-grabbed conversations and collected them on an album in Facebook providing a source of daily laughs for all her friends and also to serve as warning that online dating might not just be for the faint of heart.

“If you open up your profile like that to the public, you also have to expect that there will be way too many douchebags.

The best thing is, you can actually just choose the ones that you feel comfortable talking to or going out with. I’ve met a handful of guys through Tinder. They are decent ones. The problem was that they were not really my type, so it’s really a hit or miss.”

Finding the One While online dating might be easier to try

for women, a lot of guys find it a tough challenge. As with traditional dating, they run the risk of a lot of rejections before finding the one. Gordon Cheung, based in New York shares his story of meeting his wife online.

“I started OkCupid back in May 2010.

Being in New York City, the dating scene is just tough, especially for guys. Your online dating profile is basically your resume to future girlfriends. Your info and your pictures have to “wow” them in order for them to take an interest.

Sometimes a simple conversation starter such as “hi”, “hey, how’s it going?” would suffice or you’d have to come up with something to catch their attention such as commenting about something you read off their profile. I’ve faced plenty of rejections, but it comes with the territory of online dating, I didn’t mind. But then, there would be some girls I’ve dated whom led me on into thinking they had a good time, but later on, find some excuse to stop talking to me, leaving me with no clue on what I’ve done wrong. I can honestly say I was not being a jerk to any of these girls. I did

FEATURE

notice a trend with the girls I was dating.

It was that they all just came off of a long relationship.”

“Not until I was in Shanghai, China, I decided to go on OKC and see if there are people on it in China, did I end up finding the profile of my future wife. I wasn’t expecting anything that would have led to marriage. My approach to striking a dialogue with her was the same as with girls in NYC, but with her, our conversations were smooth and we were getting to know each other really well. As I remember vividly sitting in my work office at that time, I sent her my first message; I never fathomed the thought that this woman would end up being my companion for the rest of my life.”

G o r d o n ’s advice to those who want to try online dating is to just go for it. “You never know what’s out

there. Sure, you will be skeptical about that person on the other side of the screen, but you just need to take that leap of faith and find out for yourself, live and learn. Don’t take rejection hard. It will happen. You just need to dust yourself off and move on to the next because you know she’s moved on already.”

Pinky Garcia, a frequent flyer working as a cabin crew for an international airline shares her good experience trying online dating for the first time. “I’ve always been the traditional type when it comes to dating. I usually meet a guy at some party some event or a chance encounter. I never saw myself as type who would go to an online dating site, especially something like Tinder where you can only go by the person’s physical appearance because I’m not the type who would usually go for a looker.”

Pinky shares that she came across the app while on a 1-day layover in Spain, seeing fellow cabin crew members using it. “We went out for drinks and this colleague of mine showed me Tinder.

I decided to install the app just for fun.

Turned out, I found some people that I connected with so I thought I’d give it a try when I’m back in Dubai. Lucky for me, I think I may have scored a decent bloke.

He was the first and only guy I’ve ever met through online dating. Now we’ve been seeing each other for three months and counting.”

Playing by the Rules The game of love has always been a big challenge for singletons ever since the days of Jane Austen’s heroines and Maria Clara, but the digital age has brought on its own set of dating rules to live by. Here are some do’s and don’ts collected from our experts:

ILLUSTRADO 15

FEATURE

Create an honest profile.

But leave the confidential details to yourself. Posting of pictures that are recent are best but also make sure to post something that is decent and formal so as not to give a bad impression that you are easy.

Be patient and sincere.

Though expect that there will be a lot of fake people online. Watch out for scammers. Best tip - if you’re in doubt about the profile photo, make sure to search on Google images. Put the mouse over the photo and right click, select search this image on Google. It will tell you if the person has history with scamming or if he has taken an artists’ picture. With all available tools on the internet it’s easy to do a background check and be your own Sherlock.

Be picky with your “partner.”

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Watch out for red flags. See if they are willing to start a good conversation and interested to meet you in public. Also, for dating websites their profiles might sound too good to be true however, in the end, you might end up disappointed if your expectations are high.

Don’t give out important details before getting to know the person.

At the start of getting to know each other, the less personal details he/she knows the better. Don’t post a lot of photos which some scammers can use against you.

Don’t believe someone when he says he wants to see you on video but you can’t see.

Even if he says he has no cam on his laptop or it’s broken, or he’s not at home, etc. Not revealing personal details is a

definite sign that he’s a scammer.

Don’t encourage sleazy talk and always be safe.

If you want to meet for the first time, arrange a public date. If you are looking for a serious relationship, don’t go home with the guy you hardly even know. You don’t want to have to deal with a bad situation, or worse, compromise your safety.

Lastly, hope for the best but expect the worst. You can get easily frustrated in finding the perfect match, or you can get lucky with one click, but if you never try then you never know. As with traditional dating meeting the right person is often a wonderful stroke of fate. Remember dating is a game, enjoy it and if you want to increase your chances, well you must be willing to play.

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By RACHE HERNANDEZ

What if, the choice of whom you will spend the rest of your life with was made, not by you, but for you?

We all know the usual story; an unsuspecting girl meets a boy who seems to be made for her. They fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. We all know it by heart (we’ve seen enough of it in movies) that we might have taken it for granted that all love stories start out this way. But what if things were turned upside down, such as the case with arranged marriages.

According to statistics from an August 2012 research by UNICEF and the Human Rights Council, 55 per cent or more than half of the marriages in the world are arranged.

Arranged marriages in history Arranged marriages have been in existence since ancient times, figured in by a handful of historical figures including Marie Antoinette who was married to the Dauphin of France even

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though they had never met.

During those times, arranged marriages were a means of preserving royal bloodlines and keeping wealth and power within the family. Young daughters and sons were considered a kind of currency that could buy strategic alliances and, thus, strengthen a family’s social position.

Nowadays, the lines surrounding arranged marriages may have blurred a bit, but the underlying reasons for their existence remain to be socially and economically driven. In India, where 90% of all marriages are of the arranged type, as revealed by the study conducted by UNICEF and the Human Rights Council, an arranged marriage is a ticket to lifetime security.

“It is directly related to a family’s desire to ensure that the children will live a life

of comfort and financial security,” says Vaishali Shah, an Indian Relationship Manager in Dubai. Vaishali was born and raised in Dubai but goes home to India regularly, and has over the years seen the reality of marriages there.

“Unfortunately, when taken to the extreme, this desire for security can very easily lead parents to focus too much on a potential son or daughter-in-law’s wealth and social status,” she explains.

Divorce in arranged marriages Still, things may not be as depressing as they seem in India and the world. In arranged marriages that make it seem normal for couples to get married only a few days after they meet, there is a very low incidence of divorce. Divorce rate in arranged marriages in India is at a negligible 1.1 percent while globally, the rate is at an average of 4 per cent

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be just a means to a happy ending, one that starts with a wedding?

(August 2012, UNICEF and Human Rights Council).

However, low divorce rates can’t provide enough proof of happiness in arranged unions. Anshul Negi, for one, still believes that the foundation of a successful marriage is a deep knowledge and understanding of the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

“It’s really important to understand and recognize the person you are with,” explains Anshul. “Modern life is hard as it is. It will be more difficult if you had to start a life with a stranger, discovering and having to live with his quirky habits.

I’d much rather come home to someone who knows me well and who knows how I’m feeling at the end of the day, and vice versa.”

A modern love story Anshul, an Indian who works in an e-commerce company in Dubai, found herself in the middle of a marriage dilemma nearly a decade ago, when her mother and brother clearly expressed their disapproval of her planned marriage to a man from another caste.

“They wanted me to marry a doctor who had to be from our own caste,” Anshul recalls.

Anshul felt love at first sight the very first time her husband asked her to dance.

It would take much longer, several years in fact, to convince her family, especially her brother who stood as the head of the family after the demise of their father in 2003. Still, Anshul persevered, chose to go the less travelled road and fought for love. Finally, her mother gave her blessing, albeit half-heartedly, followed by her brother’s lukewarm agreement, contributing only his presence but not his participation in the wedding ceremony.

“I am proud of my battle,” Anshul now

No such thing as random “Arranged marriages are made out to be ‘random’ by cynics, but there is nothing random about them at all,” Faisal Khan, a Pakistani graduate student in Dubai maintains. “Like in any other marriage, the relationship starts with two people getting introduced. The ‘arranged’ part is simply the facilitation of a meeting between two people,” he explains.

reminisces. “I cannot imagine living the rest of my life with someone whom I didn’t know and who didn’t know me.”

Interestingly, Anshul’s brother is himself familiar with fighting for love. “My brother was in love with a college schoolmate,” Anshul recounts. “He was in the middle of fighting for our father’s blessing to marry this girl when she dumped him. He lost faith in ‘love’.

After our father died, the family came up with a few marriage arrangements for him, one of which he accepted when he was 24. It was more for family than for himself,” Anshul says.

“Unfortunately, the concept has been given too much negative rap. If your family introduces you to someone, it’s arranged, but if your friends introduce you to someone, it’s love,” Faisal asserts.

Arranged marriages can serve as an effective means of meeting a lifetime partner. Faisal expounds, “The Muslim culture suggests that you can’t be 40 and still be single. You are encouraged to settle down at a specific time. Arranged marriages ensure that you meet the right person, at the right time.”

Anshul also leans towards this opinion, believing that arranged marriages “are a good solution for those who are unable to find suitable partners by themselves.

Love after marriage

Unique take on love

While Anshul maintains that one should be in love before marrying somebody, she admits that love can come ex post facto, as it did with her brother.

“Although he married for the family, it turned out to be the perfect direction for him because he eventually found love with his wife,” Anshul explains.

Are arranged marriages, then, are simply a cultural uniqueness, much like the Ilocano’s frugality or the Ilongo’s lambing? Despite the many facets that, to this day, remain misunderstood, arranged marriages, in general, still support an age-old adage that says: “all you need is love.”

If love can eventually happen in arranged marriages, are they then just revamped relationship stages? Viewed from the other side, could an arranged marriage

As Faisal aptly puts it, “There are a million ways to meet people. Who cares how the love story begins?”

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What Filipinos say about arranged marriages -

groom’s families. Secondly, it gives more protection and security to the woman. I can say that because both families of the bride and groom share the same ideals about marriage and life so they will be the one to help and support the couple if there will be any problem.

EDEN ROSE HERNAEZ BICERRA

ANGELA R CAGUIAT Let us define first what an arranged marriage is. It is a marriage arranged formally by a boy and a girl’s liking and two families’ decision. In early times, the boy and girl’s liking, is not included that is why we find more disadvantages than advantages. But nowadays it is a must that the two parties getting married have consent on the marriage.

I would prefer arranged marriages for my children because I still believe that parents know what is best for their children. Parents will not do anything to jeopardize their children’s future. One of the strongest reasons for arranged marriages is finding a partner who is compatible ethnically, religiously, socially and culturally. People who agree on arranged marriages have strong family ties and they are most likely to support and help each other.

If they have compatibilities, they will have less to argue about. There will be good understanding between husband and wife; between the bride and her new family; between bride and

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Arranged marriage is an unfair tradition because it violates the freedom to love and be loved. An arranged marriage has a strong potential to succeed because it involves money and family, and in most case, business. In our generation, it may be practical to honor this tradition because first and foremost, our parents know what is best for us. And if we are rich and our business is growing, we would like to pass it on to our children through an arranged marriage so that my business plus your business equates to a very big network of businesses. Yes, it may be unfair to both the man and the woman involved, but it will be eventually beneficial to them and to their future family. Love? The mind and the heart can be manipulated anyway! There is a saying that money can’t buy love, but in such case, I guess it can!

ADELLE DELOS SANTOS LUMALANG

The topic is actually very fresh in my head because I was chatting with a colleague and we were talking about was marriages and divorce. We were wondering why there is such a high divorce rate in the modern times compared to the marriages of old times. We could be totally wrong but we both agreed that it is because nowadays, women are a lot more empowered and aren’t as dependents on male or husbands anymore unlike before, so when wives gets bad treatment from the husband they don’t just accept it. They fight back. I don’t know if my opinion counts because I have never been married in my life, but I am an aspiring wedding photographer and I believe in marriages.

Now from an outsider’s point-of-view I don’t think being in an “arranged” or “love” marriage has anything to do with divorce at all. For me, the only main difference is with “arranged” is that love comes after the official union, while with “love marriages” love happens before the wedding.

With both types of marriages, whether you love each or not as yet, both spouses need to work together for the marriage to succeed. I believe it is all about the willingness of each partner to compromise and set differences aside.

Many of my married friends told me to forget about magic of being oh-soin love with each other because magic sparkles and unicorns fly out of that fantasy window after a couple of years b e i n g together.

But I agreed to what P o p e Francis s a i d ,

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married couples should never forget that nice feeling of being in love as when they were at the start of the relationship.

One way to do this is to say I love you to your spouse every day without fail.

This, I might do if I am ever going to get married.

JOSH MANGILA The emancipation of lovers and couples from arranged marriages is one of the achievements of the 18th Century. In my opinion, we have already surmounted that war of robotic-driven hearts with the august alliance of men and women who stood for freedom of preference and believed that a marital union should be founded by a thing called - love and not by force. So, there is no way we are letting our zombified troglodyte spirits arouse inside just because of a survey that shows ‘potential success’ of arranged marriages. Love is the most powerful thing in this world and the only free thing that could be enjoyed both by beggars and billionaires and everyone in between. The sincerity of its magic can bring two people in a triumphant romance that can produce trillions of children in beatitude. The freedom to choose the one that we love is a victorious battle that we should always treasure for generations to come, armored by our own hearts.

ALLAN B. CUYA

MICHAEL FILLON

Arranged marriages, seem to belong to the elite and very reserved segment of society [in our culture]. It is believed to be done for financial security as well as maintaining the tradition of family lineage. Success could be perceived when couples in arranged marriages are still together after all these years. But then again other cultures have shown that how each person actually feels and should be the sole indicator of success of their togetherness. Analogous to a son or daughter being pressured by their parents to take a certain college course - hesitations and lapses will surely come along the way, if that son or daughter likes and thinks otherwise.

For a guy, I think arranged marriages work if your parents have the same taste in women as you do. If mom and dad can find you a hot woman who will welcome you home after work by wiping the sweat off your forehead with her Victoria’s Secret undies, it can’t be a bad thing. LOL

AILEEN PEREZ I wouldn’t go for arranged marriage, not even subject my children to it. We need to know and accept our partner’s good and bad traits.

As we spend our BF and GF days with them, that’s when we will know if we are really ready to spend the rest of our life with them. If the marriage is arranged, we wouldn’t have that opportunity and choice.

CHRISTINE CATOLICO TILJA I don’t advocate arranged marriages, especially if we are t a l k i n g a b o u t arranged marriages with a minor wife (18 years old and below) and all those scary stories about arranged marriages. I firmly believe that we should have the freedom to choose who we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

However, there are also a lot of things we can learn from arranged marriages. First of all since the marriages as carefully planned and considers personalities, family background, interests , life’s goals, culture and religion, more than just passion, love, lust , compatibility and chemistry. The couples tend to commit more to their partner as they are not only thinking about themselves

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but the whole family and tradition. So the weight and responsibility of the marriage is heavier, thus a lot of them find ways to overcome and rise above the problems of marriage.

In love marriages, some of us, after 3-5 years or more of being married, we tend to became lazy with love and not work hard to make the marriage work. When the going gets tough, and when we encounter conflicts and problems, which is normal in a relationship, we leave it to fate and just simply accepts that this might be the end of our romantic love.

We then forget the reason why we have freely decided to marry our partner in the first place.

In all honesty, marriages whether arranged or love marriages is not a guarantee for a successful and happy married life. In the modern world, life is full of distractions. But just like how focused we are to plan our finances, our careers, our education, our kids birthday parties, in my opinion, we must also carefully plan our relationships with our spouse. The idea is not to leave our love lives to chance. We must continue to nurture our love, by finding ways to connect, to enjoy being with them, to plan things that can create wonderful memories with them and with the family. So that when family conflict arise, more than anger, more than pride and the right to be right, it’s the love and

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memories that binds you together, and the strength to make things work, no matter what. So choose love.

BOYET DAMOT This is a sensitive t o p i c because peoples’ views on the matter are as varied as the spectrum of religious and cultural beliefs, traditions and norms across different countries and the various communities within any particular country. What can be reprehensible for some people may be completely natural and normal for others.

However, we should make a distinction between arranged marriages and forced marriages. Technically, an arranged marriage is simply “assisted,” facilitated by the respective parents or relatives of the prospective bride and groom, who both have the right to consent. Forced marriages are the case when there is no right to consent. In reality, the fine line between the two is probably blurred. Even among Filipinos who are predominantly Catholics, I believe that arranged marriages are not totally

unheard of. It is not unusual for Filipino parents to exercise some influence and at times even reject the potential son or daughter-in-law.

Such predilection by parents to be involved in the matchmaking process is most probably motivated by the desire to secure a happy married life for their child, by ensuring that they marry into the “right” family...a buena familia, as Manila’s old rich would say. In other words, an arranged marriage sets the path towards a successful marriage. Or so they think.

Do arranged marriages have a higher chance of success? Not necessarily. Low divorce rates in cultures which espouse arrange marriages may not be a reliable indicator by itself and can even be misleading. We can even surmise that in cultures where it is the norm, it must be more difficult for say, an unhappy wife, to get out of marriage in the same manner that she found it impossible to say no to the marriage in the first place. An arranged marriage does not guarantee the long-term success of any relationship.

I am biased towards unarranged marriages. After all, there are countless of Romeo and Juliet stories out there... lovers who turned against tradition, religion and the dictates of family, and went on to stay together in married bliss.

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By Nicholo Jallores

It’s pretty damn difficult to be a girl.

accommodate.

For one thing you have to contend with menstruation - a particularly gory time in a woman’s life when her hormones go out of whack, her mood blackens, and her body sporadically expels ungodly fluids. That she has no choice over what her physiology does is a dire enough prospect - that it should happen on monthly intervals just seems like a cruel and unnecessary punishment.

Then she has to be the one to get pregnant: nine months of nausea, back pains, bloatedness, and weight gain, culminating in a beastly ritual that is comparable to passing a watermelon out of a hole the size of a peanut. And let’s not even begin to tackle the social ills that women all over the world have to put up with on a daily basis, like gender inequality and sexual harassment.

That discourse warrants more pages than this publication can reasonably

It ain’t easy being a girl, and it never has been. So within this context of the baffling amount of physical and social anguish that besieges the female of our species, we ask this question: why oh WHY do women bother with wearing heels? If a woman has 99 problems, does a pair of heels really have to be the 100th? Who put women up to this ghastly task, and why do women insist on perpetuating it?

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A perfectly observable theory: most women themselves don’t know even know why they wear heels. Ask them why they do it and all you are likely to get is a puzzled and slightly irritated look, as if you just asked them why the sky is blue. Oh sure, they’ll have an answer for how heels make them feel, but not for why they make them feel that way.

From childhood, the woman is trained

to accept the concept of self-inflicted podiatric pain to the point that she no longer just tolerates it - she actually celebrates it. Heels make a woman feel empowered. Heels make a woman feel beautiful. Heels make a woman feel sexy. These are beyond debate. The crux of the issue is the origin of these conditioned notions. And why does the woman’s self-esteem have to stem from such a pain-inducing instrument?

Couldn’t she just decide to get the same validation from, say, a hairnet?

Think about this: if the women of the world stood up with one voice to say that the new measure of male beauty and virility are testicle clamps, the men would declare war. Why - especially in these times of heightened female empowerment - do we still hold women up to a standard as archaic and violent as pair of high heels?

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A BRIEF HISTORY OF PAIN The earliest record of men and women wearing heels can be traced back to ancient Egypt, where pharaohs and nobles wore elevated shoes for religious ceremonies. In Persia, horse riders used a contraption that resembled the modern-day heel to help brace their feet in the stirrups. In Greece, theatre actors who played tragic roles wore boots with platform soles to make themselves stand out from other cast members.

Catherine De Medici, an Italian noblewoman who lived in the 1400’s is often credited as the person to have started what is now the world’s 600-year old obsession for high heels. For her wedding to Henry II, the Duke of Orleans, Catherine wore 2-inch heels to lift her meager 5 foot frame and make her seem taller to her guests. Elevated shoes that were purely for aesthetics was a concept that was practically unheard of at the time, so naturally, this revolutionary sartorial choice perpetrated by a rich and powerful woman caused a frenzy in Italy’s ruling class.

Throughout the 1600’s, high-heeled shoes were regarded as a symbol of wealth and influence. The high born of Europe wore them to distinguish themselves from the working class, armed with the logic that only the truly rich who did not have to engage in manual labor could suffer to wear such impractical shoes.

Louis XIV even commissioned his very own trademark red pair, and made it a criminal offense for the members of his French court to wear heels that were higher than his. For centuries, The French and the Italians stayed at the forefront of refining the concept of the high heel, producing many of the shapes and structures that we see in the market today. In the 1950’s, French fashion designer Christian Dior collaborated with shoe designer Roger Vivier to produce a shoe with a long, high, and thin heel, ushering the rise of what is now recognized as the Queen Bee of all women’s shoes: the stiletto.

The evolution of the high heel revolves around three of society’s most prized and perhaps most unsettling concepts: beauty, power, and sex. At some point in history, we as a species decided that longer legs and pointed toes improve the woman’s desirability and sense of authority. Let’s take a closer look at these widespread cultural dogmas.

“HEELS MAKE ME FEEL POWERFUL!” A pair of heels to a woman is what a suit and tie is to a man when it comes to displaying gravitas in the workplace. The flat-shoed girl is the runner, the photocopier, the human coffeemaker, whilst the woman in the sharp pumps is seen as the lioness, the mogul, the Alpha. That women can wear high-heeled shoes all day and

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FEATURE manage to match the men’s productivity pound-per-pound is a testament to their strength of will. Women have to endure their footwear. The men just need to make sure their ties don’t dip into their coffee mugs.

There is no point in denying that the high heel has become a symbol of feminine power - but before we proceed with the canonization of Manolo Blahnik, it bears noting that the idea that heels equate to power is actually masculine in origin.

At the onset of the high heels’ meteoric rise to popularity in the early 1600’s, it was the men of the French court who favored elevated shoes. In an interview with BBC, Elizabeth Semmelhack, a shoe museum curator, explains: “In the 1630s you had women cutting their hair, adding epaulettes to their outfits.

They would smoke pipes, they would wear hats that were very masculine. And this is why women adopted the heel — it was in an effort to masculinize their outfits.”

It is quite ironic that an article of clothing that is now considered to be the paragon of feminine strength originates from male envy. When women wear heels, they are unconsciously perpetuating an age-old cultural meme: that the only way they can be perceived as strong is by adopting masculine qualities.

Why is it that the devil wears 5-inch Prada? Can’t the devil manage hell in satin ballet slippers? Heels are not a celebration of womanly prowess. It is gender appropriation. It is about as feminine as growing a moustache.

“HEELS MAKE ME FEEL BEAUTIFUL” Most women will tell you that they feel more attractive when they wear heels, and in the world we live in now, they will be right. Legs can never be long enough in this side of the solar system. It doesn’t matter if you are a fairy princess like

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Ariana Grande or a skyscraper like Karlie Kloss; if you are a woman and you have two functioning legs, your height needs to be artificially augmented ASAP. As with most home sapien tendencies, there is an underlying biological twang to our fascination with long legs. It’s called sexual dimorphism, which can be rudimentarily defined as the synergistic physiological differences between the male and female of the same species.

Men evolved to have longer torsos and shorter legs fit for hunting mammoths and fending off invading tribes. Women evolved to have a more lithe figure and longer, stronger legs that are ideal for child-bearing and – face it, ladies – running away from invading tribes. In the same vein that women fawn over Ryan Reynold’s V-shaped mid-section, men fawn over Giselle Bundchen’s gams because they offer a better prospect for the continuation of DNA material.

Psychologists Paul Morris, Jenny White, Edward Morrison and Kayleigh Fisher from the University of Portsmouth conducted a study about the purpose of high heels in the evolutionary scheme.

According to their research, a pair of high heels encourages greater pelvic rotation, shorter strides and a higher number of steps per minute, essentially making a woman’s stride look more “womanly.” In the biological sense, women are expected to walk with a more balanced and pronounced gait because it emphasizes their capability to bear children. It’s all about the bass, ladies. The objective is to promote your perfect pelvis. Think of it as biological advertising, akin to a peacock showing off its feathers. When you “strut your stuff,” you are basically announcing to the world that you are awesome at being pregnant.

“HEELS MAKE ME FEEL SEXY” Of all the reasons why women wear heels, this is perhaps the most popular.

Somehow, sexy and flip-flops just do not

elicit the same emotional response as sexy and Louboutin’s. When we ponder the erotic, we think black patent leather stilettos, not bunny slippers. It would not be off tangent to simply charge this perception to our primal inclination towards procreation, but there is more to this than just mere survival. There is a deeper, slightly more sinister underpinning – one that harkens to the inevitable truth that sex, like true love, is not always comfortable. Sometimes, it is painful.

In 1791, Napoleon Bonaparte, perhaps sickened by the culture of oneupmanship that plagued the French nobility, banned all the men and women of France from wearing high heels. This prohibition lasted for many years, to be ended by the reinvention of the high heel sometime in the mid 1800’s as an important prop in the nation’s collective sexual awakening. What started out as a mere tool for enhancing one’s physical attributes transformed into the one crucial instrument that brought about the rise of erotica. Suddenly, the high heel was used as a tool and a focal point in the game of submission and dominance.

Women who wore high heels began to be perceived as authoritarian, pragmatic, sexually liberated, and unafraid of pain – a trend of thought that remains relevant today.

DOWN, BOY To heel or not to heel? Is the high heel a symbol of feminine strength, or is it just a subversive form of misogyny?

Does it empower the woman, or does it keep her chained? The high heel’s origin is steeped in gender bias and class distinction – this much is beyond dispute. And yet the women of the world have the power to sweeten this bitter story. They have the ability to steer this saga into a more savory direction. If you must wear heels, then by all means wear heels. Just know what you’re stepping into, woman.

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HEEL THE WORLD! Here’s what some of the most recognizable Filipino fashion figures and culture vultures have to say about why women wear heels.

MICHAEL CINCO Fashion Designer Women feel more confident when wearing high heels. It gives them height and makes them look taller. When high heels are paired with stylish clothes and accessories, they draw attention from everyone. Wearing beautiful high heels makes women look slimmer, as it accentuates the legs. High heels can make an outfit appear stunning, but she has to know how to choose the right pair of shoes to compliment an outfit and she has to work it while walking with confidence.

TRACY LEY Fashion Blogger Women crash heavily into chairs and kick off their shoes, complaining, “These heels are killing me!” Men always stare at us oddly when we do this. “Why do you wear those things?”

They inquire. Indeed, why do we?

Of course, once any woman gets the hang of these so-called instruments of torture, once she stands tall and glorious in her Jimmy Choos or Louboutins, it becomes painfully (sometimes literally) obvious why she does it. Also, the men stop complaining.

Heels are miracle workers. Not in the sense that they cure cancer, but they add

height, and accentuate a woman’s legs and buttocks. If you do it right, there are only two ways to stand and walk when you’ve got heels on: sexy, and damn sexy. The posture that heels force you into also gives you a slimmer profile.

Plus, heels tone the calves. Seriously, they give them one hell of a workout.

Try them on! You’ll see that heels boost confidence, turns heads and unleash the inner goddess in any woman.

figure quite attractive. I, personally, like wearing heels at work. I work in a corporate world, and high heels give me an authoritative appearance that makes my colleagues view me as a serious professional woman.

CLEENE CRUZ ARCILLA Flight Attendant ‘Heels that high means she doesn’t do much walking’ - Hank Morgan from the series FOREVER.

AL MANLANGIT Architect, Photographer & Traveller To attract guys, of course!

We are suckers for women who are sure of themselves by being sexually confident in the way they carry themselves. See, when you stand on tiptoe, you can’t slouch. Therefore your chest pushes forward and your behind pushes backwards thereby making both stick out more!

Then there is the presence of danger in a sexy way. I mean, which hot-blooded male doesn’t fantasize about a pair of stilettos digging into his backsides?

Ouch! But then, no pain, no gain as they say.

NINA PENALOSA-CARPIO Fashion Blogger Women have a love and hate relationship with high heels.

Although we cannot walk in them for a long period of time we still wear them to our hearts content. Why? Because they give us a confidence boost! And as you know, confidence is the ideal accessory that every women should have. Also, high heels make a woman’s

Why do women wear heels? For me two reasons. First, aesthetically. It’s actually proven that when women wear heels, the body tilts and gives emphasis on the buttocks and breasts. Second, PROWESS. Royaltys such as Catherine de Medici and Marie Antoinette wear heels to feel larger than life. And as a matter of fact 1580s men coined the expression “well-heeled” pertaining to a person with authority and wealth.

ALEX WANG Model & Photographer Women.

Men are not gods if not for them.

Women play a very big role in everything. May it be pleasure or sport - they play a big and important role. Women tend to play as well - by wearing heels. Wearing killer heels makes them even more prominent and more visually attractive. More so, they feel more EFFECTIVE. Wearing killer heels makes a woman proud of what she is and what she can become. They wear heels to feel sexy or look even sexier. They wear heels like a man carries himself!

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By Anna de Leon

In our quest to find “The One” or “Mr. Right,” if he does exist, and not just another fictional character like the lochness monster, we will encounter Mr. Left, Mr. Right Now, Mr. U Turn. The list goes on. And when you meet them like I have, you have to be Ms. Yield, step on that break, better yet, pull the hand breaks and run, yes, even with your beloved stilettos, as far as possible, the fact is you are a queen and a queen doesn’t settle for a joker or a court jester but only a king. And up until that day comes, I reckon that you rule over your kingdom alone. Heck, it can be lonely, but as the saying goes, life is not a destination but a journey, this applies to finding that one true love. Who knows you might actually end up writing about Mr. This and Mr. That and end up entertaining people too, which isn’t all that bad, afyter all.

So, have you met these guys?

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Mr. Me, Myself and I

The Drama King

We all have met him, He is good looking, ripped, dresses well and smells oh so good, only problem is, “Do you like my shirt?” “Hold on, let me take a selfie.” You’d be walking around the mall, you look over your shoulder and he is nowhere to be found and there he is, checking and admiring his own reflection in the mirror. Meet Mr. Me, Myself and I. Yes, you have met him right? Of course, we all have. While these examples are seemingly funny, it goes beyond just the physical. If a person is too engrossed with himself, do you honestly think that he has space for another person in his life? Do you think that your opinion will matter to him? Notice how his statements will always start with the following: My, I, I am. There is no place for “we” with this guy because he is too busy admiring his soft hands to even bother holding yours.

Dating this guy is like being in a soap opera because he makes mountains out of mole hills. Meet The Drama King. You may actually fall for this guy’s bravado during the courting stage because he will sweep you off your feet with messages that will put Browning to shame. But word of caution my loves, be 5 minutes late and you will hear a litany of how much you disrespect him and his time and yadi yadah yadah. Once is okay but you will never win an argument with a guy who always seems to be gunning for an Oscar. He will either silence you with lines straight from a Shapiro movie or shed a tear that will give Christopher de Leon a run for his money. Or worst, both!

If you want to hold on to your sanity, best keep the drama on your lashes and steer clear from a Jack “ You Can’t Handle the Truth” Nicholson wannabe.

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Mr. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire Pinocchio, after realizing the value of truth and selflessly rescuing Gepetto, magically transformed from being a wooden toy into a real boy. Sadly, there is no fairy godmother that will turn Mr. Liar Liar Pants on Fire from a lie hurling Casanova to an honest man. This is not rocket science. He lies about simple things; he will lie about big things. And no, I will not entertain your justifications.

Mr Pac-Ayaw-an Although I have never met a man like this, quite a handful of women have encountered these man’s hands, unfortunately not lovingly touching their faces but slapping them instead. You let him get away with that, an upper cut would surely follow. Meet Mr. Pac-Ayawan. I called him this because the moment he lays a finger on you, not even a hand, “Ayawan na agad!” There is absolutely no reason for a man to hit a woman and I don’t care if she looks like the bantam weight Champ, Ronda Rousey.

An abusive man, whether verbally or physically, worst, both, will never ever change. These men have respect issues

that are so far rooted than an ingrown nail (it’s gross, but so is a man like this) that no woman can fix. His exes didn’t fix him, you are not the exception. Don’t try to be a hero.

Mr. TNT One of my dreams while I was growing up, actually, even to this day is to become a CIA agent. To be undercover, trying to save the world, there are men, however, roaming around the world, without a badge, not trying to save world either but they always seem to be “undercover.” They will be scouring the restaurant, like hawks and would ask the hostess to seat you both as far from the maddening crowd as possible. On the back of your mind, you’d be thinking, “does he want more privacy?” “Is he carrying a cipher with codes that the Illuminati shouldn’t get?” or could he just be hiding you? I know, I know, you might be thinking that I am feeding your paranoia, but as women, listen to that voice because chances are it is right. If Mr. TNT (Tago ng Tago) can’t claim you in public, he can’t have you in private.

PERIOD.

While I have met a few good men in my life, I have also been fortunate to meet the not so good ones because without meeting these types of men, you won’t know how much value you put on yourself. I don’t think that putting a lot of value on your self is narcissistic at all, it only means that you respect yourself, what you stand for, what you deserve and you are brave enough to walk away.

While the rest of the world celebrates Valentine’s day as a day for lovers, I look at it differently. I see it as a day of celebrating myself, my value as a woman, that, I can say no, I can walk away from relationships or people that don’t serve a purpose in my life. So, if you are single on Valentine’s day, do not settle just because society tells you that you should have a BF on heart’s day. Text me, ill text you back. Promise.!

For now, I shall continue admiring the view from my Upper East Side on Thursday nights fondly looking back at all the jokers and court jesters, who I have met for coffee or dinner and who made me decide to kiss dating goodbye... for now.

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FEATURE

Curious

Excel V. Dyquiangco

Obsession is a term that’s often negatively used. It connotes desperation, envy and jealousy, hatred and sometimes rage. Think Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction and Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct.

But in this season of love, obsession takes on a whole new meaning. While is true that this dangerous word can be seen in a dark light, there are some Filipinos whose obsessions are just curiously plain. They become hooked in enriching their hobbies and in expanding their collections. From toys, plants, coins, paintings and even bottle crowns, Filipinos have a penchant for eccentric obsessions, indeed.

Here are some Pinoys who find solace, joy, passion and love in doing what they are born to do.

The Toy Collector After browsing through several comicbased figures in eBay, Charles Dominic S. Diño started collecting in 1999. A set of very detailed Lady Death figures caught his attention, and after going through all the eBay FAQs and disclaimers, he decided to try his luck and have them

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shipped here. They did arrive a month later, and from then on, he was hooked on these plastic figures. “What sets my collection apart from others is that I chose to focus on female figures Wonder Woman, Poison Ivy, Mystique, Black Cat, among others,” he says.

“Name a female character, if they had made a toy of her up to 2010, I probably have it a version of it or a counterpart.

Yes, I even have a Darna statuette.”

If there is one collection that stands out from the rest, he considers the Spider

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scouting malls for toys, going to toy conventions and exhibits, or meeting other collectors. There was a time when toy shop visits also became part of his out of town and country itinerary.

Woman lifesize bust from the Alex Ross Collection as one of his favorites. It’s a limited edition (300pcs) figure made by Upper Deck back in 2007, and is one of the earliest life-sized female bust (or a pop-culture character) ever made.

He says that with all of this collections to boot, he had a dedicated “toy room” and that he spends most of his Saturdays

“I’ve actually stopped purchasing pieces two years ago after my first child was born - shift of priority I guess,” he says.

“But I still pass by toy shops to satisfy my curiosity, or probably get a piece or two.

When my child grows up, I’ll probably teach her a thing or two about these collectibles, and hopefully pass on the passion.”

The Visual Artist Unlike most artists, Renz Baluyot didn’t have any formal training or have attended any art workshops when he was young. He remembers that he has been drawing regularly, copying things he has seen on back pages of notebooks, scratch papers and even tables.

“I only started painting in college usually to create classrelated plates,” he says. “That’s when I did my early acrylic and oil paintings.

That meant that I made works for grades and not entirely for leisure or experimentations.

But slowly, I did learn to create

works for purposes other than school.

I felt the need to create something. I started making works for competitions, exhibitions and for myself when I thought of something interesting for me to explore or an idea to present through visual outputs.”

The artworks in general that he has made are now more than a hundred.

Their materials do vary but most of them are paintings. A few of them are back in his possessions since he has pulled them out from the galleries after the consignment period. He has browsed through them from time to time because most of the time he sees something that he has not been able to notice before when he made them. He finds this activity interesting and enriching.

“Entering the art scene is not that simple as others would say,” he says.

“It requires a lot from the artist such as knowing about one’s narrative because I believe that for an artist to tell a story through artworks (if that is the intention) he or she must know about his or herself. For others they make artworks to explore their own psyche. For some with a different view, this is not needed. It is also not merely investing on materials; it is investing on knowledge and continuous practice. One must continue to create to be able to know which area to improve. A maker must not let him or herself to be consumed by doubts.

Artworks are more suitable to be read and criticize than preliminary ideas.”

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The Snail Mail Man Jonathan Blaza collects stamps and postcards and anything snail mail. Since he has started collecting in 2011, to date, he has nine cabinets and shelves filled with stamps, postcards and other philatelic materials. He has two more 5-layer drawers filled with items that he has for swaps. “Not a favorite item but a specific classification of philatelic materials,” he says. “Maxicards are postcards with a stamp and cancellation that are in concordance with each other; to show off the concordance, the stamp and cancellation are placed on the picture side. I love collecting Maxicards because making one is a creative

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activity. Although Maxicards may be purchased, the idea behind them is in realizing the concordance between the postcard, stamp, and cancellation.

Maxicards stimulate the mind by making me remember the postcards that are available and the stamps that the PHLPost issued. Plus, it encourages me to actually travel to these places.”

He says that the fulfillment he gets from his collection is a tribute to art, heritage and history. “I get more ideas for my travels too,” he says. “They show places that are not usually included in travel packages. It enables me to design my own travels and improve my itineraries.

I used to hate geography but now, my

Google maps account is packed with favorites—places that I have been to or will be at. With this as a hobby I am able to meet people from around the country.

In 2014, I met with other collectors in Palawan, Negros Occidental, and Ilocos.

This year, we will be holding these meet up in Cebu and Iloilo. Moreover, I am able to meet from all over the world.

I have made friends with collectors from Japan, Thailand, Brazil, Hungary, Saudi Arabia, Tajikistan, and Bahrain, to mention a few.”

In the near future, he hopes that his collection will eventually be maintained in a Jonathan Blaza Philatelic Museum even after he is gone.

BAYANIHAN CORNER

By Ambassador Grace Relucio-Princesa

It’s the month of love once again and for me, one of the greatest loves of all is love of country. One of our national heroes, Andres Bonifacio, said it best when he uttered the words – “Aling pag-ibig pa ang hihigit kaya, sa pagkadalisay at pagkadakila gaya ng pag-ibig sa tinubuang lupa? Aling pag-ibig pa? Wala na nga, wala.” Simply translated it means, “Which love is more than capable of purity and nobility except love of country?” It is this love and pride of country that I always want to highlight to our fellow Filipinos. And in this issue, I am proud to share the good news of how one of our world class Filipino NGOs recently won global recognition.

Philippines’ “Liter of Light” wins Zayed Future Energy Prize My Shelter Foundation’s Liter of Light won the Zayed Future Energy Prize – Non Profit Organization Category, besting four other finalists, during the Awards Ceremony following the opening of the Abu Dhabi Sustainability Week (ADSW) on the 19th of January 2015 in the UAE capital.

Liter of Light’s Executive Director llac Diaz received the award from Egyptian President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi, HH. Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, UAE Vice President and Ruler of Dubai and HH. Gen. Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and Deputy Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces.

Liter of Light is an open source energy program that teaches people how to make and install homemade solar lanterns. The company began installing these solar bottles in the Philippines in 2011 and has since expanded to 15 countries. It has installed lanterns in over 350,000 homes and shops.

The solar bottles have an enormous impact on those without electricity, saving an

average of US$10 a month on electricity bills and 240 kgs of potential carbon emissions.

A zero-carbon-emitting alternative to the daytime use of electric or hydrocarbonburning illumination, Liter of Light is now on its second phase of development whereby a micro solar PV cell, LED, and a battery can be attached to the bottle so it can be used to generate light at night. The LED system was used extensively in the Philippines in the aftermath of Typhoon Yolanda/Haiyan to provide residential and street lighting in areas of devastated cities.

The other finalists for the Non-Profit Organization Category were Solar Aid (UK), Practical Action (UK), World Resource Institute (USA), and Electriciens San Frontieres (France).

The winners were selected after a threemonth long evaluation process which began with an assessment of 1,100 entrants to shortlist 31 finalists and eventually name five schools, three organizations, and one individual. The entrants were evaluated based on their impact, innovation, leadership and long-term vision in the fields of renewable energy and sustainability. The Zayed Future Energy Prize Jury includes heads of state, leading energy experts and world-renowned personalities committed to the global effort of accelerating the adoption of renewable energy and sustainability.

The Zayed Future Energy Prize represents the vision of the Late Founding Father and President of the United Arab Emirates, HH Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan al Nahyan, who championed environmental stewardship.

This annual award celebrates achievements that reflect impact, innovation, long-term vision and leadership in renewable energy and sustainability. It is considered the biggest and most prestigious award-giving

body in the area of energy. Liter of Light is the first Southeast Asian- based Non-Profit Organization to win this prestigious award.

On other news, I am also proud to share that Philippines’ ARKO mobile application is among the 40 winners – chosen out of over 450 mobile applications worldwide – who received the 2014 World Summit Award (WSA) Mobile at an Award Ceremony held during the WSA – Mobile Global Congress on the 1st to the 3rd February 2015 at the St. Regis Hotel in Abu Dhabi, UAE. The winners were recognized by the WSA for best mobile content solutions showing innovativeness, creativity and impact.

ARKO won under the m-Inclusion and Empowerment category, together with four other apps, namely, Ghana’s SnooCode, Palestine’s BrailleBoard, Brazil’s LIVOX, and Portugal’s ColorADD. Eight WSAmobile Global Champions 2015 were also announced from each award category on February 3, the last day of the Congress.

The ARKO mobile app was developed by the Department of Science and Technology’s Project NOAH and Pointwest Technologies – a 100% Filipino-owned IT company in the Philippines – to make people aware of flood hazards in their community. It provides users with flood hazard maps and identifies safe locations for evacuation. The app also provides an hourly rain forecast and typhoon track markers. It is available in Android and iOs for free.

As I have been saying all along, the Filipino is like abaca – strong, resilient and exceptional.

This recent achievement also manifests that Filipinos are not just world-class laborers but that we also have innovators like Illac Diaz and the ARKO team.

Taas noo, Filipino!

ILLUSTRADO 33

IT’S WHAT I DO

It’s what I do

FILIPINO PROGRESS AND DIVERSITY AT THE WORK PLACE

OWEN SANCHEZ Human Resources Manager – SDV International Logistics My job I work as an HR Manager with one of the well-known multinational companies in the UAE involved in aerospace logistics and warehousing. I am a result-oriented senior executive and have played a key leadership role in many strategic initiatives for the company’s growth and profitability including establishing, steering and managing strategic ventures, alliances and consortiums.

A major part of my 23 years of working experience in Human Resources has been in the Middle East and within GCC. I led efforts in building company organizational structure with focus on the development of business solutions and cost effective management of operations and projects.

My work day I usually arrive between 8:00 to 8:30am to prepare for the day and have my cup of coffee! I will usually have a short meeting with my team to talk through what they are working on at the moment or to share ideas and plans for what we are going to do next. I check my voicemail and e-mail and try to respond to urgent messages which were not handled the previous night.

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Then it’s off to my first meeting of the day which is usually with the customer service team. At mid-morning, I perform one-onones with employees needing my attention. Thereafter, I tend to communication once again and ongoing projects like the 360 degree performance appraisal system we are proposing to implement this year.

I usually have lunch with colleagues at the common Employee Lounge. I’m always networking! After lunch, I work on presentations for our forthcoming restructuring meetings – a very critical project for the company.

I always ensure to have the time to meet the CEO and other senior managers. I am very friendly with them and sit on the company monthly board myself and we often use few minutes to chat about sensitive issues pertaining to personnel as well as company plans in general. HR is a very important function in my company and we value our people very highly here. Their welfare, loyalty and engagement is of paramount importance to us, hence the importance of the HR function.

At around 6:00 pm we normally have a random employee gathering in employee lounge cafeteria. These get-togethers for employees are part of our networking and team-building strategy for employees and are organized by HR. At 7:30 pm, Head out the door. It’s time to go, and I’m sure as usual, it’s going to be a long night! No day is the same and that’s why being an HR manager is so challenging and rewarding.

My message to Filipinos For all Filipinos who have tried their kismet and seek their greener pasture in this deserted land, there is no such thing as can’t, only won’t. If you’re qualified, all it takes is a burning desire to accomplish, to make a real change. Either you go forward or go backward. Whatever it takes! But never can you blame other people or society in general if you give up on things that you impede to pursue. It only comes from your mind that you cannot do things. When we are able to execute the impossible we’ll just then smile and realize we are special people. The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. The secret of success is consistency of purpose.

IT’S WHAT I DO

It’s what I do

FILIPINO PROGRESS AND DIVERSITY AT THE WORK PLACE

MAX CALINGACION JR. Architect – Damac Properties My job I am a licensed Architect and I mainly deal with Architectural design in all aspects and technicalities - from the point of sales or marketing to the painful submission and approval to the authorities. My job also includes coordinating with various project team members to ensure project progress with utmost efficiency. Speaking of which, we just don’t do designs, we go by numbers, the profitable and effective design without sacrificing the aesthetic aspect and brand is our main goal. It may sound as easy as that, but being inside Damac Properties is really a different story. But then again, no regrets, I get to know the other side of being an architect, I am learning a lot and I am gathering more ammunition in my future endeavor as an architect. Two of my most hated words in the office? Over time and deadline! I guess most can relate to it. Sometimes ten hours of work per day is not enough and staying late with work is not so unusual. Even on the weekends I still date my office computer. I call it my love affair with my job. I’m one proud Pinoy architect here.

My work day I travel the busy streets of Dubai for almost less than an hour

My message to Filipinos

before reaching the Damac building at 8:30A.M. That is the only

The only things you can take with you when you leave this world

time I get my and start my daily date with my computer. I usually

are the things you’ve packed inside your heart. Simple phrases

respond to emails from my superiors while having breakfast, a

that I keep in mind every time I miss home especially my beautiful

little chat with my grandpas/titos/kuyas in the office (they are all

wife, daughter and son. I primarily focus on my dreams for them.

older than me, ssshhh!) to warm up our jam-packed day ahead.

It is the fuel that keeps my engine going when homesickness

There will be several meetings with the bosses (yes, several of

kicks in. In times like these, I get to unleash my emotional side

them from different departments) in a day where new project

for I always wish that I am with them having memories driving off

planning are made or revisions from old projects are tackled up

somewhere or travelling out of the country like we used to every

and manned down. A little intervention of jokes and laughter with

time I am on vacation. Next, I also have pondered that it is in this

Pinoy colleagues especially during lunch breaks and snack time!

land where I learned to respect other religious beliefs, I came to

I spend my day creating/revising designs, figuring out the best

a point that I realized how to value my own religion and give it

development planning, drawing tiny buildings or landscapes and

a tighter grip and only that in Him I could gain my daily strength

then dashing colors on the black and white perspectives, clashing

and know that I am never alone in this land of dreams. And lastly,

with some colleagues for defense of design and the list goes on

work when you have to work for us to be able to reap the joys it

and on. From 8:30 in the morning till 6:30PM is just like a wind

entails. Summing it up it my fellow Pinoys, start dreaming, work

that will blow swiftly, when you’ve got tons of work to do. In a

hard and enjoy its rewards, offer it to your family and never forget

blink of an eye, kalas! The day is done.

to ask for guidance from above.

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IT’S WHAT I DO

It’s what I do

FILIPINO PROGRESS AND DIVERSITY AT THE WORK PLACE

KAREN “KIM CIA” S. PISON General Account Executive/Administration – Al Salam Ins. Services LLC My job I work as General Account Executive/ Administration at Al Salam Ins. Services LLC. I also assist other International Corporate Partners in Shipping, Trading, Events, Brokerage and Reinsurance. My job entails negotiating with clients, helping to produce successful campaigns, solving any problems and making sure deadlines are met. I traveling to meet clients, attend conferences, seminars, and trade shows to get new business opportunities. I also train and am responsible for monitoring their daily performance, while at the same time taking care of general accounts and administration.

My work day My typical day is spent managing and monitoring staff, reviewing financial and confidential data, coordinating with potential clients, answering questions from non-actuarial parties about actuarial concepts, travelling, visiting our branches and attending meetings, seminars & conferences to discuss the results and future of the business.and during working days, I wake up at 5:00 in the morning, and start my day with prayer, meditation and a big smile. I always try to enjoy my challenging day dealing with

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old and new faces. I consider my day more complete when I finish my gym and fitness activities as health is a very important consideration to me. I retire to bed with a happy heart.

At work, I experienced one situation that made me believe that even challenges are beautiful opportunities in disguise. The fact is that, some of the worst experiences in my life are blessings that changed me for the better – i.e. being away from my loved ones for 10 years, being an independent woman and to experience delays in getting a meaningful job. I even consider all my previous layoffs and challenges in my present company to be a good thing. In return, I realized how lucky I am and everyone realized how important I am to the entire team. I was given utmost respect in my company and how people loved me a lot not just as a person at work but as a true friend and someone they can hold on and can be trusted. They are always there ready to support me for the betterment of my life. If we can find the strength within to see our misfortunes as opportunities, we can open the door to the possibility of greatness.

My message to Filipinos out there Be warm-hearted, be accommodating, be presentable, and always make sure that whenever you connect with people, no matter who they are and no matter where you are in the world, always show them respect and they will respect you back even more. Prove that you can do better. Leave something good, inspiring, memorable and meaningful with each person you meet.

Never ever change to please people but change to be a better person. Stay strong and always stand for what you believe! Never ever compare or underestimate yourself and your potentials!

We have loads of talents and uniqueness to offer .Use these talents to show the world that we Filipinos can always make huge difference!

Mabuhay Pilipinas! Taas Noo Kapwa ko Filipino!!!

Childhood is a gift; so is parenting. Leading your child through their important formative years is a joy and a challenge. Let us help you through it.

04 3986218

SPIRITUALITY

Call Me Crazy, but She Still Makes My Heart Go Pumpity-Pump

By BO SANCHEZ

I wrote this article six years ago, on the tenth year of my marriage. At the time, the first eight paragraphs read this way:

in denial.

dates.

But I really love being with her.

After ten years of marriage, I’m still crazy about this woman.

Now, January 15, 2012 (my deadline for this article), let me re-write those paragraphs:

Call me corny. Call me deluded. Call me in denial.

Being with her is my little piece of heaven on earth.

Here’s my proof: So far, I’ve had 508 romantic dates with my wife.

(Yes, my wife. What were you thinking?

She’s my ex-girlfriend, right?)

That’s once per week for almost 10 beautiful years.

And I’ve loved every single one of them.

Our date night is sacred.

Unless it’s an invitation from the President of the Republic, I say no to all invitations and meetings. Our marriage is what it is today because of those precious 508 dates.

Call me corny. Call me deluded. Call me

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After 13 years, six months, and two weeks of marriage, I’m still crazy about this woman.

Being with her is my little piece of heaven on earth.

Here’s my proof: So far, I’ve had 690 romantic dates with my wife.

(Yes, my wife. What were you thinking?

She’s my ex-girlfriend, right?) That’s once per week for almost 10 beautiful years.

And I’ve loved every single one of them.

Our date night is sacred.

Unless it’s an invitation from the President of the Republic, I say no to all invitations and meetings. Our marriage is what it is today because of those precious 690

But I really love being with her.

Yup, that’s right. The words are still correct. Only the numbers have changed. Why? Read on…

Did you know my wife has magical powers? When I’m with her, she drains my stress away. When I’m going through a rough time, all I have to do is share my problems with her, and instantly, I feel so much better. With her, I’m at home. And I rest.

I believe couples need to connect with each other in a deep way, or they will drift apart and look for attachments elsewhere.

Aside from our weekly dates, I grab special times I call “spontaneous moments of connection.”

SPIRITUALITY Spontaneous Moments of Connection One afternoon, I came home ready to dive into my work. The usual stuff I do: articles to write, talks to prepare, meetings to plan…

But when I came home, I saw this lovely woman sitting on the couch all by herself.

I thought to myself, “Work can wait,” and I grabbed this opportunity to sit beside the greatest girl on the galaxy. It wasn’t planned. But we were able to talk and connect with our hearts. Even just for a few minutes.

Life offers us these fantastic times of bonding. I’ve learned not to miss them: Being stuck in traffic with her. Or waiting for the dentist. Or lining up in the grocery. These times don’t have to be boring if you hold hands and talk.

How to Have a Great Marriage One day, a young husband came up to me and said, “Bo, I wish my marriage will be as great as yours ten years from now…”

I only had one thing to say to him: “Don’t wish. Decide.”

In that one line, I gave my secret to success.

That’s what separates great marriages and not-so-great marriages.

That’s what separates successful people from unsuccessful people.

Unsuccessful people wish, want, hope, desire for their

dreams. That’s not enough.

Successful people decide to make their dreams happen. Period. That means they’ll do whatever it takes.

Nothing will stop them. Failure is not an option.

Let me ask you: Will you do whatever it takes?

For me as a husband, it means…

• Practicing “mental” monogamy • Overlooking her faults • Going out of my way to express my love • Putting our dates on my top priority • Leading my family to God Just in case you’re in the delusion that I’m a perfect husband, let me make this record straight. I’m far from it. Just ask my wife!

But the important thing is that I’ve decided to become a great husband.

And I make that decision every day. (I struggle towards this dream every day!)

I’ve realized that this power of decision works in every other area in life…

How to Be a Success in Anything I’ve also decided to be a financial success. No ifs, no buts, no excuses. I’ll do everything it takes.

For me, that means sticking to my core gifts, getting wise mentors, reinventing

myself, creating a dream team around me, and focusing on loving my customers.

I’ve also decided to be a spiritual person. That means opening myself to God’s love, walking with integrity, and pursuing my ultimate mission of loving others.

I’ve also decided to be a healthy person. That means going to the gym daily, eating veggies and fruits, taking supplements, and living with balance.

Don’t Wish. Decide.

“But Bo, I’ve already decided to be a success! But I guess my decision wasn’t strong enough…”

Then that means you haven’t really decided yet. You’ve just wished. If you remain in the level of wish, nothing happens. You must go to the level of decision.

I’m reminded of this Chinese General who invaded an island. Upon landing on the shore, he asked his soldiers to burn their own boats. Obviously, they were shocked. When asked why would they do this insane act of burning their own boats, he said,“We’ll leave this island either as victors or as dead men. Escape is not an option.”

That’s a decision.

And that’s the kind of decision that will make you succeed in anything.

Happy Love Month!

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MONEY

Should spouses keep separate accounts? by francisco J. colayco

A

recently married wife is feeling guilty because she is hesitant to have a joint account with her husband. She loves her husband and wants to keep a happy relationship with him. She earns more than he does which gives her concern that the regular reminder, if their money were in a joint account, could create possible unnecessary financial friction.

On the other hand, she thinks that she is not being a good wife and in fact, feels almost like a traitor for not being transparent.

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There are so many couples in this same situation. Before anything else however, be reminded that nothing is permanent. People and situations change. The husband could well find better opportunities and/or acquire new capabilities and get to generate higher income in the future.

There is no reason for either spouse to be embarrassed about the salary issue.

However, it is a fact that our “macho” culture makes it more difficult for the husband to feel secure about their relationship. The initial resolution of the wife should be to make sure that she doesn’t “rub it in”. On the other hand, the more they tiptoe around it, the more

both of them will be uncomfortable.

It could also go the other way where the wife might start feeling that the husband is taking advantage of her higher salary.

He could be spending for unnecessary items that he would not consider if he only had his salary. This could end up in the wife’s resentment and eventually in a discord in their relationship.

What should happen is for the couple to talk about finances openly and as objective as possible without harping on who earns more. This is actually what they should have done even before they got married. While they may be full of emotional love for each other, it is best to address this joint responsibility

MONEY

Money is a family matter and the couple is the initial family members with a family budget. before day-today financial issues build up and overwhelm what would otherwise be a happy marriage. After all, two individuals with different ways of doing things will invariably have friction one way or the other. Happily living together in harmony requires each party to be ready to compromise. A giveand-take mindset guarantees a lasting relationship, immune to gossip from family, relatives and friends particularly if the income disparity between the wife and husband is wide.

Marriage is a partnership that evolves into a family that could grow. Money is a family matter and the couple is the initial family members with a family budget. They should decide on the amount that is needed for each detailed expense and each spouse can contribute an amount to that budget according to what is reasonable and fair. If it is possible, it is best to live with a budget where the contribution from both spouses is the same amount.

Consider this joint amount as the Family Income. They can open a joint Family Spending Account for this purpose and should set aside 5-10% savings from that account regularly. “Pay yourself first.” is the first rule you must follow. Income – Savings = Expenses is the ideal formula.

It may help if they open a separate Family Savings Account for the savings

portion until such time that the amount is sufficient to be invested in another option like a mutual fund. Agree on who should manage the Family Account.

While it is good to be aware together, the reality is that one should really be in charge to ensure that the accounts are properly handled.

Each can still keep your personal bank accounts and respect their privacy.

Obviously, either of them could have a bigger amount in their personal account without having to be obvious about it, if they wish. Will either spouse feel bad to know the salary of the other? Only the couple can decide based on their personalities. They don’t have to tell lies but they don’t have to emphasize it either.

Each having a personal account will allow them to have a little “independence” from each other. What is important is for the Family Account to always be properly funded, budgeted and managed. No one has to make “kupit” from the Family Account to enjoy some personal “luxuries.”

The couple could make a game of it.

Decide who is responsible for specific expenses and the spouse responsible will take care of monitoring the expense.

Any savings will go to the spouse monitoring the expenses reward. You can each have your investment options

and growing your individual savings as well as your family savings.

Find a way to discuss finances regularly.

The wife should make her husband feel he is a responsible husband by establishing his contribution and importance to their partnership. The responsibility is on her since she has the bigger income and she can surely protect the family and herself in the process.

They could start by reading and studying my books. Since the wife is more bothered at the moment, perhaps she should read them first and then, bring up to her husband the matters that they should tackle together. The very first step is to make a Statement of Assets and Liabilities and a Personal Financial Plan as a married couple.

Now, even with PHP5,000 you can start investments and additional amounts need not be big. Check out www. colaycofoundation.com and www. kskcoop.com for options.

For those in Manila, both spouses can join our workshops/seminars to help them establish their personal financial plan while they are still young. Time is on their side, their early savings will definitely make it easier for their future.

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LAW

In this issue, Atty. Barney Almazar advises single mothers on ways to make deadbeat dads cough up the cash. In addition to legal tips on how to demand fathers to pay on time, the article will also discuss the penalties for missing a support payment which can include revocation of professional licenses and even, in some cases, jail term for up to a year.

While it’s easy for a mother to condemn the father of her children who can’t or won’t support their kids as incorrigible scofflaws — and treat him accordingly — that doesn’t get her very far if her goal is to make him pay up for the Pampers.

terminate the father’s parental authority over the child pursuant to Article 229 of the Family Code of the Philippines can be filed by the mother even if both of them are outside the Philippines.

The noncustodial father has the responsibility to meet his financial obligations to the children he brings to the world. Even if the marriage has been dissolved, the ex-wife may still be entitled to alimony.

What can be demanded from the father?

A common misconception is that Filipino fathers who are outside the Philippines are not within the reach of Philippine laws relating to family obligations. Article 15 of the Philippine Civil Code provides that laws relating to family rights and duties, or to the status, condition and legal capacity of persons are binding upon citizens of the Philippines, even though living abroad. In fact, a petition to

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Under Article 194 of the Family Code, support comprises everything indispensable for sustenance, dwelling, clothing, medical attendance, education and transportation, in keeping with the financial capacity of the family.

The mothers should note that Section 3 B (3) of Republic Act 7610 of the Philippines, otherwise known as the Special Protection of Children against Child Abuse, Exploitation and Discrimination Act considers the unreasonable deprivation of the child’s

basic needs for survival such as food and shelter as a form of child abuse.

Computing Child Support The amount of support shall be in proportion to the resources or means of the father and to the necessities of the child.

The child’s monthly support is not a fixed amount and shall be reduced or increased proportionately, according to the reduction or increase of the needs of the child and the resources or means of the father obliged to furnish the same.

In cases where parents have mutually agreed on the amount of financial support through a settlement agreement, the contractual support may be adjusted whenever modification is necessary due to changes in the

LAW

circumstances manifestly beyond what has been previously contemplated by the parents.

The father is given the option to fulfill his obligation either by paying the allowance fixed or by receiving and maintaining in the family dwelling the child he is required to support. However, if there is a moral or legal obstacle (for example, the father is living with his paramour), the latter alternative will not be allowed.

The child support laws are fair not just to the father but to the children as well.

No father will become bankrupt due to a child support order. He may go broke because he is in debts or due to his wrong choices—but this is his problem, not his child’s problem and no child should have to pay for the bad decisions of his dad.

Remedy under UAE Laws The initial remedy is for the mother to send a demand letter to the uncooperative father pursuant to Article 272 (1) of the UAE Civil Code as amended by Federal Law No. 1 of 1987.

Should the father fails to provide support despite several demands from

the mother, a legal case can be initiated against him before the UAE Family Courts. The mother can also request the father’s employer to make direct monthly payments to her out of his salary. This is of course without prejudice to the filing executory reliefs before the Philippine Courts.

Compared to Philippine laws, UAE laws are tougher on the miscreant fathers.

Penalties for missing a support payment can be up to a year in the prison as UAE jurisprudence considers it a crime against the family if the father refuses to pay alimony and child support. Article 330 of the UAE Penal Code states: “Part Six: Crimes Against The Family

Article 330: Shall be punishable by confinement for a period not exceeding one year and by a fine not exceeding ten thousand Dirhams or by one of these two penalties any individual against whom a self-executing judgment is rendered, imposing upon him the payment of alimony to his spouse, any of his relatives or legal dependents, or the payment of salary of the guardian or foster-mother or rent of a house and who, after three months from the day on which he has been warned

to pay, refrains from performing the obligation although he is capable of fulfilling it.”

Note to Absentee Fathers If you are complaining about paying your child support, is it really about the money or is it all about having to pay it to your ex that gets under your skin? You should be able to separate your relationship with your ex from your responsibility towards your children. No child should suffer because you are so angry with your ex.

Every parent, whether non-custodial or custodial, has a duty to financially and emotionally support his or her children.

Financial support should be provided for the child by both parents equitably.

A parent should consider not just the legal repercussions of ignoring or evading child support, but more importantly, the best interest of the child.

For more information on family law, readers can visit www.gulflaw.info or call 04-4492076. Gulf Law and volunteer Filipino lawyers hold monthly free legal aid and seminars at the Philippine Consulate in Dubai and Embassy in Abu Dhabi.

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SCRAPBOOK

BENGIE RYAN MENDOZA Scyllafirefox Sharjah, UAE

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SCRAPBOOK

ANN LLAGAS

Dubai, UAE www.annalizallagas.wix.com/ Annllagasphotography

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FASHION

PASSIO CREATIVE DIRECTION/ HAIR AND MAKEUP: GENE GINNO ALDUCENTE PHOTOGRAPHER: MELSON BOLONGAITA ASSISTANT PHOTOGRAPHER : IKO SALAS PRODUCTION ASSISTANT: MICHELLE SALCEDO LOCATION MANAGER: DEBI CO MODELS : MS. BEA ROSE SANTIAGO MARC NASH AND ADRIAN ADI WARDROBE BY LEO ALMODAL COUTURE DESIGNERS ASSISTANT: RICHARD JOSEPH SUMAIT

White dress- with off shoulder cut and a full balon skirt, encrusted with silver crystal shacks

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ONATA

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Long sleeve chatilly lace in deepV Neckline mermaid cut dress

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Tailored white tuxedo with silver and platinum Swarovski crystal shacks

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Long sleeve chatilly lace in deep V Neckline mermaid cut dress

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Dress with long torso bodice with a semi princess cut tulle skirt, studded with Swarovski crystals and laser cut flowerette appliques; Swarovski crown.

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Tailored White tuxedo with silver and platinum swarovski crystal shacks

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FASHION Nude velvet serpentina dress with cut-outs, micro sequined appliques and gold and nudes crystal shack on the neckline

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One shoulder chatilly lace dress with satin petal cut-out appliques and crystal shack on the bodice

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Black sweetheart tubeline dress with velvet bodice and stretch stulle skirt, encrusted with beads and black crystals

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FASHION Chino collared black suit with shack crystallized by Swarovski elements

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FASHION Black Dress- sweetheart tubeline on Velvet bodice with stretch stulle skirt encrusted with beadworks and and black crystals

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10 THINGS TO DO Enjoy while the weather is perfect for outdoor activities. Have fun with the always abuzz Dubai calendar, and revel at the food events, boating activities, tennis actions, and most of all, the live performances of the world’s biggest stars. Here’s a list of what your Facebook and Instagram accounts should show off this month…

Catch tennis superstars in action

1

Watch best international players heading to Dubai for one of the most eagerly awaited events, the Dubai Duty Free Tennis Championships. This will be the 23rd year for the event which brings the world’s best players to the City of Gold. Tennis superstars such as Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer and the Williams sisters are announced to defend and challenge for the top titles. While Andy Murray and Tomas Berdych along with a number of the top female tennis players in the world such as Petra Kvitova, Agnieszka Radwanska, Caroline Wozniacki, Simona Halep and Ana Ivanovic will also be joining in on the exciting tournament. Happening from February 15 to 28, this 14-day sports event will be held at the Dubai Duty Free Tennis Stadium.

Listen to jazz

2 3

Launched in 2003, the Emirates Airline Dubai Jazz Festival or Jazz Fest as it is popularly known now has attracted thousands of music lovers through the years. Coming this year will be James Blunt on the first day of the festival. The musician will be coming to Dubai for the third time and has always been a hit each time he comes to perform. Joining him on stage will be Christina Perri, who rose to fame in 2010, and later when she released her first album in 2011.

The second night will bring Rock and Roll and Songwriters hall-of-famer and musical genius, Sting on stage. This musical giant who has won more awards than one can remember will be accompanied

by Lindsey Stirling, the American violinist and dancer who is a YouTube sensation as well. The third night will feature the undeniably talented and smooth John Legend, performing on stage alongside renowned jazz artist Esperanza Spalding. The main gigs of the Jazz Fest 2015 will run from the 25th to the 27th of February, and this time the location will be at the perfectly positioned Dubai Media City Amphitheatre.

Meet literary geniuses The Emirates Airline Festival of Literature is the Middle East’s largest celebration of the written and spoken word, bringing people of all ages, nationalities and backgrounds together with authors from around the world to promote education, debate and, above all, a love of reading and writing, in a celebratory and enjoyable way. The LitFest, as it has become known, will bring, among others, a fantastic cast of over 120 authors, writers and speakers from 25 countries who will cover a wide range of subjects, styles and genres. It provides the chance to attend literary discussions, listen to readings, participate in workshops, and experience the exciting Fringe and children’s events. With simultaneous translation between Arabic and English in all sessions, the LitFest strives to break down all barriers to communication, so ideas are truly shared and friendships formed – not least among the authors themselves. Expect to see international authors such as El-Saadawi, Ngozi Adichie, David Mitchell and Michael. The LitFest is to be held at the Intercontinental Hotel in Festival City from March 3 to 7.

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10 THINGS TO DO

5 4 6 7

Sing with Ed Sheeran

The British-born singer and songwriter will be gracing Dubai this March. The artist, still in his early twenties has already gained global attention, won numerous awards and been nominated for Grammy’s as well. He will be touring through Dubai as part of his second album “X” pronounced as multiply, and second tour with the same name.

Catch him live onstage on March 5 at the Dubai Media City Amphitheatre.

Watch a Shakespearean play

On March 1, Othello – The Remix will have a one-day only show at DUCTAC in Mall of the Emirates. Created by the Chicago Shakespeare Company, this classic tale of the tortured soul, Othello gets mixed with a modern hip hop vibe using music and dance to tell audiences a brand new take on a classic story. MC Othello is on his way to making it big in the entertainment industry and is gaining fame and fans while also falling for a beautiful singer. However he will soon come across a very difficult obstacle in his life which he must overcome to succeed. For a single day and a single show only, do not miss out on this new take on a classic tale.

Be serenaded by Bublé

Hailed as the modern day Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble is set to perform for the first time in Dubai. With a huge fanbase in Dubai for all ages as well as a number of online petitions to bring him to Dubai that have been waiting for this event for years, this is an event that has been in the making long before it was even announced.

Michael Buble is one of the biggest names in jazz music covering Christmas songs as well as other classics such as “Something Stupid” and “Love me tender” and will be performing not once, but two shows. Watch him sing you his ballads on March 12 and 13 at the Dubai Sports City.

Get a taste of Dubai

As part of the second Dubai Food Festival this year’s Taste of Dubai will be a foodlover’s fantasy as it is jam packed with exclusive new restaurants, world-class chefs, cooking classes, incredible line-up of music and tantalizing fresh features. Taste of Dubai on its eighth year brings together not just restaurants and food and drink suppliers, but a line-up of innovative and interactive programs dedicated to cooking and eating. If you love food, drink and music, you’ll love Taste of Dubai. The 3-day food event is to be held at the Dubai Media City Amphitheatre from March 12 to 14.

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10 THINGS TO DO

8

Dance with Drake Louder Entertainment presents Canadian megastar Drake for the first time in the UAE on March 14. Drake is bringing his ‘Would You Like a Tour?’ show to Dubai, for one-night-only. Torontoborn Drake, who shot to fame in 2009 with hits ‘Find your Love’ and ‘Forever’ has sold more than five-million albums worldwide, boasts a Grammy award and officially has more number one songs in the US billboard chart than any other rapper.

This one-night only Drake Live in Concert is to be held at Dubai International Stadium in Dubailand.

9

Have fun with the Gonzagas

Sing and laugh with the funny sibling duo, Toni and Alex Gonzaga as they fly to the capital to entertain fellow Filipinos. The two famous stars have been causing a sensation not only on television and cinemas but also in social media as they are among the top Pinoy celebrities being followed on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Watch them on a single show event at IPIC Arena Al Jazira Club in Abu Dhabi on March 5.

10

Attend the boat show

Boat aficionados have another reason to celebrate this March as the most awaited boating event is set to comeback to Dubai.

Known as the largest and most established event of its kind in the region, the Dubai International Boat Show showcases yachts, supercars, equipment and supplies from both local and international builders together with the latest innovations in the marine industry. Happening on Marche 3 to 7 at the Dubai International Marine Club (Mina Seyahi), this event is free admission.

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10 THINGS TO DO

By KC M. Abalos I must have been 8 or so years old when I started watching these Japanese cultureslash-travel videos on the local channel.

Some of you probably know what I’m talking about. These mini-documentaries would be shown right when I get back home from school. They covered a whole range of topics: from the hanami or the cherry blossom Festival to those awesome automatons that do a mean robot dance.

Most of the time the same videos were shown again, and again, and again. And I’d watch them again, and again, and again. But my favorite has always been the Yuki Matsuri or the Snow Festival in Hokkaido.

Held annually since 1950, the Yuki Matsuri lasts for seven days and the sites are spread over several areas around the city. The main exhibits are in Odori Park, Susukino, and Tsudome. Last February, I made a lifelong

dream come true, to see the snow spectacle in all its white glory.

No Hopping in Hokkaido One does not hop, skip, or even walk the streets of Hokkaido. One shuffles.

Maneuvering the slick streets of Sapporo, the prefecture’s bustling capital, is easier once you realize that the only way you can get from snow mound A to snow mound B is to walk like a penguin. Yes, our tuxedo clad pals know how it’s done. Me, being the brown skinned beach girl that I am, figured I needed to prepare and research a bit before flying off to Japan’s northernmost island.

The first thing I learned is how to walk on icy, slushy paths, which is only slightly easier than walking on water.

Boots with enough traction to keep you

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PINOY PLANET

The Sapporo Streetcar(SAPPORO SHIDEN) is a tram network located in Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan.

from falling flat on your face. A thick coat to keep your blood from freezing. And a couple of kairo (warm packets) which you can buy at a hyaku (100) yen shop everywhere. Battle gear on and off, we go to join over two million visitors who have come from all over the globe to watch snow become a show.

Slippery Slurp in Susukino I decided to go two days earlier so I’ll get a chance to see the other sights Sapporo has to offer. This turned out to be one of my more brilliant ideas since there was also a certain pleasure in watching the ice become works of art as they’re being carved in Susukino, which is in downtown Sapporo. The figures carved in ice were splendidly lighted at night and showed every sinew and curve of the dragons and flowers. There were also fish frozen inside ice which was sculpted into, well, bigger fish. Ice inception.

Susukino is where my reasonably-priced hotel was located too, and a quick search on the internet revealed that it is within walking distance to THE ramen alley, a famous strip of noodle shops that boasts of the best ramen in the whole

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of Japan. Though there are streets in Sapporo which are blessedly heated, it is still freezing February, so a piping hot bowl of miso ramen, a Sapporo specialty, is not only a welcome treat; it is also a means to survive. Walk along the many noodle shops along this narrow path and rack your head as to which kind of noodles you fancy. I found Anthony Bourdain’s autographed photo in one and figured that he looked quite happy eating his ramen, filled to the brim with seafood—another Sapporo specialty— so I went in. It was heaven in a bowl.

Don’t be surprised to see corn kernels garnishing your noodles, which again, is a Sapporo favorite. You can buy a buttery cob at food carts along Susukino and the other festival sites.

But my best meal during the entire trip was definitely this huge bowl of clams which I devoured at Odori Park, right beside the edifices of famous buildings rendered in tightly packed snow. The blizzard that impaired my vision of my meal didn’t detract any of the pleasure which that bowl of clams gave me.

Together with fried potatoes on the side, another famous Sapporo snack, I was able to renew the energy needed to view the hundreds of snowy sights that the festival had to offer.

Frolicking at Tsudome Tsudome is a bus ride away from JR (Japan Railway) Sapporo station. If you have kids or, like me, you’re a kid at heart, you shouldn’t miss the festivities there. It is the place to go if you want to play with snow. For the first time in my

PINOY PLANET Snow sculpture of Ise Jingu Modern Legend at Sapporo Snow Festival on February 5, in Sapporo, Hokkaido, japan. The Festival is held annually at Sapporo Odori Park.

Ice sculpture of the old Sapporo Station

life, I gleefully slid in snow-packed slides with only a salbabida (i.e. swim ring, rubber lifebuoy) under me. There were sleds, sleigh rides and even traditional Ainu (native inhabitants of the island) games which you can play for free!

There were also kiddie-sized snow sculptures which you can interact with.

The other sites didn’t offer the same privilege. I was also able to look at the various shapes of a snow flake with the free scopes which you can use at a booth.

But the main attraction in Tsudome

was the snow sculpture contest which families and packs of friends eagerly joined. Monsters, anime characters, and animals came alive and stood for judgment at the end of the day. It was fun to see the groups animatedly trying to finish their masterpieces.

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PINOY PLANET

View of Hokkaido University Sapporo Campus.

Hokkaido University is one of the national universities of Japan. It is also a tourist attraction.

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PINOY PLANET

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PINOY PLANET

Photo by Alekos Orendain

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PINOY PLANET To Awe and Ahh Of course, Odori Park is the “hottest” venue in the whole festival. A five-minute walk from JR Sapporo station, I only needed to follow the hum of a thousand excited voices to find my way. I knew I was in the right place when I saw a three-story tall snow-boarding ramp. It was a little too adventurous for me and public humiliation isn’t my thing, which is what will happen if I try snow-boarding for the first time in my life in front of foreign and local audiences alike. So I moved on and though the park with its slushy grounds is slow going, it gave me time to ooh and ahh at the smaller sculptures which range from beloved Hello Kitty to Studio Ghibli’s Totoro. So many pictures taken at the risk of losing a finger to frostbite!

The ones that would really take your breath away though are the gigantic snow structures with their elaborate and dainty details painstakingly scooped and smoothed to perfectly imitate the real thing. For several weeks and days, hundreds of people have been working on these buildings, dragging pail after pail of fresh snow. It boggles the mind how it all managed to stay up.

These frosty buildings made my jaw drop and I had to close it quickly otherwise my mouth would be filled with snow. The Tomb of Itmad-Ud-Daula from India was handsdown the most intricately done. And at night, a light show illuminated the entire edifice

with a dazzling display of colors and flashing hues with accompanying sound. A little bit ahead was the Taiwan exhibit with the theme: traditional and modern Taiwan. Further down the park was the contingent from Malaysia with the Sultan Abdul Samad Building. Yes, not many people know this, but the matsuri is actually a very international event with countries and various organizations vying for the best icy art. The local favorite, of course, was the exhibit entitled “Winter Sports Paradise, Hokkaido!” which featured the many fun activities one can do in the prefecture with famous Japanese Winter Olympians rendered in snow as well.

It was all too surreal, all too lovely. With the light blizzard, the excited buzz, the wintry whistle of the wind, and the chill pervading your bones and your psyche. Good thing there were food booths with various international fares available alongside the local food because you’ll need to refuel. It’s awesome too that there were tents where you can enter, with radiators and heaters inside to warm up the cold and weary traveler. Needless to say, I stopped by these places often with a snack and a warm drink to remind me that I am indeed a warm-blooded mammal and not a frozen zombie. But it is worth the chilled toes and the snow-dusted nose.

Because despite the fact that I was out of my element, this island girl braved the frost and ice and found that this winter wonderland is really quite cool.

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ONLI IN DA PILIPINS

14 Most Annoying Things Pinoy Couples Do

By ABY YAP

Just to set the record straight, we’re neither bitter ampalayas nor pag-ibig haters.

We actually wish that you end up together and live happily ever after munching on a PHP7million worth 12-foot wedding cake (because we don’t want you getting diabetic finishing all of it in one sitting—we’re sweet like that). But in the name of Saint Valentine, dear Pinoy lovers, could you do everyone a big favor and NOT put us through any of these tormenting instances? Don’t give love a bad name.

Just to set the record straight, we’re neither bitter ampalayas nor pag-ibig haters. We actually wish that you end up together and live happily ever after munching on a PHP7million worth 12-

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foot wedding cake (because we don’t want you getting diabetic finishing all of it in one sitting—we’re sweet like that).

But in the name of Saint Valentine, dear Pinoy lovers, could you do everyone a

big favor and NOT put us through any of these tormenting instances? Don’t give love a bad name.

1. We are the World

ONLI IN DA PILIPINS

#ehdikayona. Yes, we already know.

You don’t have to rub it in our face (literally) when we pass each other in the narrowest of corridors and neither of you budges because you’re too busy HHWWPSSP (Holding Hands While Walking Pa-Sway-Sway Pa). Can you do that in Luneta, please?

2. You and Me against the World Wanting to wake up, eat, hang out, breathe etc. together for the rest of your lives—we understand that. What we don’t is when you suddenly shut us out of your world as if we’re invisible/aliens.

Reply to our messages. Friends don’t deserve to be seen-zoned.

3. We The world has recognized you as <insert your name here> and <insert your partner’s name here>; no need to baptize yourselves as “We/Us/ Our.” We’re pretty sure that you have different thoughts on different matters anyway, aminin! Remember: identity, individuality, and independence start with “I.” Forget that Spice Girls’ song “2 Become 1.”

4. Kambal Tuko Don’t take “other half” or “better half” (then who’s the worse half?) literally. It doesn’t necessarily mean that should we invite one of you then the other must come as well, supposing that ½ + ½ = 1. Unless you’re conjoined twins, please wait for a +1 invite.

5. Conjugal Property Here’s a refresher: nowhere does it say in Philippine laws that cellphones, tablets, laptops, personal computers, email and social media accounts etc. are conjugal properties. Stop checking each other’s messages (secretly or forcibly) and you won’t have to be jealous over his/her ex’s birthday greeting with a smiley

emoticon.

6. All About My Lover We’re fine with knowing your boyfriend/ girlfriend and getting updates on how your relationship is going. But don’t make this an all day/night about-him/ her-and-our-love-affair storytelling marathon. We also have our lives to attend to. Plus, we don’t really care if they’re getting all their warts removed next weekend.

7. What’s in a Name Calling each other “Bebe Ko” in public could probably work if you were the Pop Star Princess or if you were as adorable as Lloydie. We’re rooting for your fairy tale, though we can’t say the same for your cutesy terms of endearment. Please keep these things private.

8. Baby Talk “Kumain ka na poh, Dada?” Guys, not everyone finds this kind of cuppycake pumpy-umpy-umpkin snoogums boogums talk among grownups sexy or even respectable, okay. If you must coo over how “awww galeeeng-galeeeng naman ni honeybunch” has been like he/she’s a toddler, make sure you’re alone in a sound-proof room.

9. Public Display of Affection Think: if your love story was a movie, how would MTRCB classify it? There are kids around and you don’t want to appal them in any way. Sharing a French fry will earn you a PG (parents may have to address questions about food hygiene) while French kissing, definitely an R-18.

10. Facebook Display of Affection So, you’re in a relationship with <insert partner’s name here>. Congratulations!

Your official couple photo looks nice, too.

But take it easy. We don’t find it inspiring to see your intimate bedroom photos or your declaration of eternal love with matching #kingandqueenofhearts every time we check our news feed.

11. Public Display of Away Both of you are fuming mad over some #$@&%*! issue—spare us the drama, please. We don’t want to witness a shouting/slapping scene as we already get our daily dose of it from telenovelas.

In case you forget, MTRCB is also on the lookout for offensive language and violence.

12. Facebook Display of Away Enough of Wall Wars! Posting hate messages and sarcastic comments to each other’s Wall won’t bring you any peace—we’ll even unfollow or unfriend you. Because, seriously, we don’t need to know whenever you break/make up based on your Relationship Status’ from “In a relationship” to “Single” updates.

13. Love Gurus We’re really happy that you found each other in this lifetime. But that doesn’t turn you into today’s leading experts on wagas na pag-ibig and/or soul mate search. So, quit playing Cupid (they say he’s stupid, right?) or Papa Jack (especially if you’re not even a bit funny).

14. Couple’s Keeper While we’d like to see you in a happy and healthy relationship, bear in mind that only the two of you can make it last.

Count us out. We can’t always be an accomplice in your monthsary surprises or a mediator in your weekly LQs (lovers’ quarrels). We have our own hearts to take care of, too.

Happy Feb-ibig Month! <3

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ON THE PROWL, IN THE KNOW

The single gal’s guide to celebrating V-Day!

By Tracy Ley - Dubai Valentine’s Day can put on a lot of pressure

moves and invite your friends and groove to

and can feel like a daunting holiday

the music. Salsas, tango, rumba? Why not!

especially when you’re a single gal.

It is indeed so much fun to do this kind of

But,

for those amazing ladies out there who are

activity with your girlfriends

unattached, there are ways to celebrate this

6. If you’re single, then you’re definitely ready

month of love with your friends, best friends

to mingle. Go out there and show the world

or even yourself.

what you got. There is no harm in searching

1. Plan a night out with your friends and

for Mr. Right. You can even ask your friends if

enjoy a few cocktails and paint the town red.

they know any single men and set a date for

2.

the two of you. After all, you’re single right?

Go on a road trip. Pack your bags and

head out to a place you have never been to

However, you don’t need to wait for

before. Invite your friends may it be couples

Valentine’s Day to do all the above. I think

or singles alike. It can be a camp out in the

everyday should be Valentine’s Day. It should

mountains or rent out a cabin and enjoy your

come naturally from us that we love to show

favorite drinks and food.

how grateful we are for friends/best friends/

3. Have a slumber party. Cook up some pop

loved ones and that no matter what, we can

corn and watch your favorite chick flick with

count on them.

your friends.

Last but not the least, thank yourself for

4.

loving yourself.

Pamper yourself. Book an appointment

at your favorite spa and enjoy a relaxing day followed by a nice dinner with your friends.

Follow Tracy – www.misstracyley12.blogspot.

5.

com

Join a dance class. Show your dance

Bahama Mama

By Rian Miranda – Riyadh “Love has nothing to do with what you are

Dave’s team successfully placed first among

Since

expecting to get — only with what you are

the rest, and I couldn’t be more proud as I

on tourists for their economy to thrive,

the

Bahamas

depends

mostly

expecting to give — which is everything.” -

watched them cheerily bask in their sweet

everything’s pretty much expensive on the

Katharine Hepburn

victory.

island — like a can of soda that costs US$3

Yes, I did it again! I joined Dave as his guest in

Luckily, this time, we were blessed with 70-75

almost everything, the government appraises

the Bahamas for the second time, to attend

F weather for a week while we were there.

duty and excise taxes to make their revenue

their annual company convention at The

This year, we were able to get a tan and

since they also don’t have income tax or sales

Atlantis. My favorite part of the conference

dared to take on the water park’s exhilarating

tax. So while it is true that you have to break

was the yearly trade show and the Iron Chef

water slides.

My love challenged me to

your wallet (or bank account) when you come

competition, where all Executive Chefs from

take on the iconic Leap of Faith that propels

here for a vacation, here are a few frugal tips

different company-owned restaurants are

individuals at a tremendous speed from a

I’d like to unashamedly share with you so

grouped into teams to compete in what is

60ft almost-vertical drop from the top of the

you can enjoy without worrying about every

considered one of the highlights of the event.

world-famous Mayan Temple. But I almost

dollar you spend:

It was thrilling to watch each team come up

fainted as soon as my turn came to sit on the

with their own signature dish based on the

slide and saw what was before me.

at a local deli. Because they need to import

secret ingredient they’re given on the spot.

ILLUSTRADO 78

1.

Bring your own sunscreen. The

cheapest sunscreen that we found at a

ON THE PROWL, IN THE KNOW

convenience store was US$19.75, when you

5.

can get the same bottle for US$10 or less in

taxi fare and rent a

your home country.

scooter (for

Save

two

expensive for

US$50

people)

a

2. Set a budget and plan your meals. Food

day, if you want to go

and beverage is definitely expensive here.

around downtown to

If you’re staying for less than a week, bring

see tourist spots such

some easily consumable treats like a pack

as The Straw Market,

of bread/loaf, corned beef, canned tuna,

Queen’s

meatloaf, mayo and chips to satisfy sudden

cruise ships, historical

hunger spells. Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts

forts, Marina Village,

offers the same price as it is in other countries,

and The Atlantis.

Stair

Case,

so it’s good to know that your regular latte is at least one thing that is standard and

But these things aren’t exactly the main

constant.

reason why I was there. I’m grateful to be with the love of my life once again, even for

3. Bargain for souvenirs. Haggling isn’t

a brief period. Despite the lack of proximity,

something to be ashamed of if you know

we are proud that these short getaways only

you’re getting a deal for the right price.

reaffirm our deep faith and commitment for

Of course you have to be conscious of the

each other in our journey to a longstanding

product as well. I bought two locally woven

and healthy relationship.

cotton bags for the price of one that was initially sold to me for US$25 each.

Love is like jumping off a cliff. It deems not how high you jump, or if you’re a good

4. Book your water activities from online

swimmer. The only important thing is your

offers prior to your travel or you can get

willingness to jump with the person you love.

discounted package rates as well from the

Because once you took that leap, it does not

dock stations of cruise ships.

matter anymore what your next move will be.

As long as you’re holding each other, with God in the center, you can survive anything.

I may have been weak and failed in taking the Leap of Faith, but I took the water roller coasters with open-air and enclosed twisting tubes that propelled us down the white water rapids—and I wasn’t scared because my love is by my side—screaming, laughing, and relishing every moment.

Happy Hearts Month, everyone!

Follow Rian - Instagram: msrianmiranda, Youtube: www.youtube.com/rianmiranda

ILLUSTRADO 79

ON THE PROWL, IN THE KNOW

By Leslie Fiestan – Riyadh

Feb has arrived and love is in the air,

bloom, I heard even if you are buying it for

celebrate the occasion in the privacy of

markets donned with flowers and mushy

sick relatives or friends

their own homes, or have a quiet dinner in restaurants. Take note, however, that

greeting cards, chocolates and stuff toys and heart shapes everywhere…but not in

2. Don’t buy or send gifts and teddy bears.

you can’t go out (in public) for a date or hang out with your partner unless you

the kingdom of course.

3. Don’t wear red.

are married.

Hence, if you want to do

something really special, better go out of

You heard that right. It is forbidden to celebrate Valentines and any non-Islamic

4. Absolutely no hearts. Don’t display or

rituals/celebrations like Christmas, New

wear or show anything that’s shaped like

Year and recently we read that even

a heart.

the country for a short vacation.

It’s seems strange for most, but the reality is that we have to respect the rules of the

birthday celebrations are prohibited. I guess that’s another reason for people to

5. No public display of affection. Well, it’s

country where we live in. Besides, there

think that were living in a very strict country.

not allowed anytime, anywhere anyway,

are plenty of other ways to show love and I

even if it’s just holding hands.

think love should always be celebrated and felt everyday and not just on Valentine’s

Over here, when Feb 14 arrives, one has to be very discreet or just celebrate it on

Break the rules and you’re bound to stay in

another day. There are some rules we have

jail for the night if the religious police catch

to follow on V-day here in Saudi Arabia.

you. Ergo, better be safe than sorry.

So, can you do during this time of the month, for those who can’t help it and

1. No flowers. Don’t buy anything in

ILLUSTRADO 80

Follow Les - http://lesfiestan.daportfolio. com/

Make sure that you stay away the following -

Day anyway.

really want to celebrate? Most people here