Illustrado Magazine February 2013

1

15 FEBRUARY - 15 MARCH 2013

CHEATING HEARTS:

HE STRAYS, SHE STAYS

DATING

ON A GLOBAL LEVEL

MY PINOY LIFE IN GENEVA

WHERE IS THE LOVE?

A LOOK AT ARRANGED MARRIAGES

71

UNLIKE VALENTINE’S DAY:

10 ABOUT V-DAY

THINGS TO HATE

THE KING AND QUEEN OF MAARTS: WHICH

PINOY COUPLE ARE YOU? MARRIAGE INC.: THE BUSINESS SIDE OF A UNION

obsess

Editor’s Note

PHOTOGRAPHY by EROS GOZE

The V-Day Dilemma I’m a person who loves traditions and rituals. I love the fact that you go the extra mile to make the people in your life feel special during specific occasions and Valentine’s Day is one of those important dates.

Then again, there’s that school of thought that says, ‘why wait for a special occasion to show your love when you can do it everyday, right’? Well, call it the ‘human condition,’ but I’m not perfect.

So let’s just say that being all out generous and loving, on a daily basis, is very much still a work in progress.

So a day devoted to love is great - or isn’t it?

Ideally, it should be, although, it’s well known that more people get depressed during the holidays and special occasions. With all the pressure that such celebrations bring, it’s easy to understand why some people are not exactly ecstatic and as celebratory as the rest. And at this time, moreso, since Valentine’s could be quite a biased exercise.

Just consider beyond swooning pairs, what about husbands or boyfriends who lament that the celebration is quite partial to women? Or pragmatic-jaded types (like moi) who cringe at the idea of having to sit through dinner at a restaurant with other googly-eyed couples, most of whom sport the color red, pledging cheesy love to each other? Most of all, what about singles who feel isolated while everybody else is gushing over flowers, chocolates and dinner by candlelight?

Although V-Day idealists would argue that this day of love is for everybody and anybody, the truth is, it has become mostly a celebration of romance. So no matter how much of a true-blue idealist you are, a cozy dinner at home with your ‘manang’ auntie (if that’s the only person you have out here), does not a Valentine make.

Then again… you look back at your childhood memories, to those sweet days in February, spent making red art paper or cartolina hearts, or more ‘sophisticated’ (for elementary graders) cards complete with fancy cut-outs to give to your crush, your friends, your teachers, parents, siblings and just about everybody. Sweet, isn’t it?

Well, that is unless you are the only kid in class who didn’t get a red heart. Ouch!

Confused? I know I am. Oh well, love it or hate it, we’re going to mark Valentine’s Day anyway.

So, turn the pages and indulge with us, while we tackle l’amour from different perspectives.

Just, don’t go cheesy on me now …

Taas Noo, Filipino!

LALAINE CHU-BENITEZ Publisher and Editor-in-Chief

01

FEBRUARY 2013

Contributors Bernadette Reyes

Ana P. Santos

Illustrado’s Associate Editor Ana P. Santos writes about the other wonders that lie in the deserts of Jordan. The story isn’t a travel piece, but Ana, who traveled to Jordan mostly for tourism purposes was pleasantly surprised to discover another Jordanian attraction: the Bedouin Men. Uncovering stories like these are one of the many reasons she says writing will never seem like “work” to her.

In between assignments Ana takes on the role of Chief Empowerment Officer and Girl Power Activator for Sex and Sensibilities.com (SAS), a website with culturally sensitive sexual health information for young Filipinas. Read more on www. sexandsensibilities.com

Francisco Colayco

Resident personal finance guru Francisco J Colayco takes a look at how couples can thrive in their marriages by offering a different perspective on the union.

In “Marriage, Inc.”, Francisco talks about how a marriage can also be thought of as a corporation and how this mindset can help people build successful unions. Again, he shows that he is able to discuss a sensitive and often untouchable topic to a lot of Filipino couples - love and money.

Excel Dyquianco

Freelance writer Excel Dyquianco takes a break from his usual personality features and travel stories to write about Valentine’s Day—specifically, what guys can’t stand about the red letter day that has all the girls gushing. It just may surprise you to find out that it isn’t just the jacked up prices of flowers and chocolates that have men up in arms about the day when Cupid reigns. “Unlike Valentine’s Day” just might give you a different perspective on men and how the deal with emotion-laden days.

Ambassador Grace Relucio-Princesa

Anna Oposa

Glenn Peter Perez and Filbert Kung

Illustrado fashion regulars The Blackfox boys Glenn and Filbert, shoot this month’s whimsical style editorial – Baby Love, featuring Philippine supermodel Jasmine Maierhofer.

The work of the photography duo have not only graced many a Philippine glossies, but also have been featured in various magazines around the world including - Aksam Turkey, Fashion Quarterly Canada, Schon Magazine London, and The Daily New York.

Bernadette is a GMA TV News Reporter, a former business reporter for Today Independent News, as well as an active contributor in various publications in and out of the Philippines.

In her column ‘Kabuhayan – Entrepreneurship’ she discusses success stories regarding different types of businesses – from small to medium scale, giving useful tips and ideas to encourage budding entrepreneurs. Appropriately for the love month, Bernadette features a couple who are in the business of documenting the celebration of love and its promise of new beginnings.

Aby Yap

No one can look at the nuances (and annoyances, perhaps?) of Pinoy life with candor and humor like Aby Yap. Illustrado’s resident Onli in the Philippines columnist has been writing about the quirky facets of Pinoy life for years, but it never gets old. Charged with her unwavering belief in the importance of spaghetti, travel, fat cats, and a fast Internet connection (or, if the last one isn’t possible, an extended deadline will almost always do), Aby writes about the different Filipino couple archetypes in “King and Queen of Maarts”—it’s guaranteed to keep your hearts thumping.

Anna Oposa is chief mermaid, environmental activist and globetrotter rolled into one. In this month’s issue of Illustrado, Anna writes about all three of her passions in her story about the ‘island life’ she now leads in Malapascua where is also working on building a thresher shark sanctuary with a grant she was awarded by the Dutch government.

Anna also takes a look at how Pinoys date (and mate) in a different country in her story, “Dating on a Global Level”.

Rache Hernandez

Career diplomat, doting mother of five and servant leader, Ambassador Grace Princesa is the first female Philippine Ambassador to the UAE. Having spent over two decades in Philippine Foreign Services, she had previous postings in Chicago, Cairo, Geneva and Baghdad. Previously a Consul in the emirates’ capital, she has come back to Abu Dhabi in 2009 after 13 years. Each month, Ambassador Princesa shares about her community advocacies with Illustrado readers.

P.A. Escalante

Joining Team Illustrado this month is P.A. Escalante who describes herself as a writer, horticulturist, musician and wanderer. She is based in Geneva, Switzerland where she works for the UN Office. P.A. was formerly the president of the UP Alumni Association in Geneva, and remains active in the Filipino community.

P.A. graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of the Philippines with a degree in Journalism. She is also the favorite daughter of Philippine Ambassador to the UAE, Ambassador Grace R. Princesa.

Catch up with P.A.’s adventures in her regular blog, “Tuesdays with P.A.”. community.

Rache Hernandez graduated from UP-Diliman with a degree in Communication Research and currently works as a writer for a media/ marketing company in Dubai. Rache looks for love in her article about arranged marriages. She uncovers interesting facts about the prevalence of arranged marriages around the world and how some people actually find true and lasting love in this arrangement. As Rache writes, “If it’s your parents who introduce you, it’s ‘arranged’, but if it’s your friends who do, it’s ‘love’.” It is a thought-provoking question that makes for an even more interesting read.

PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Lalaine Chu-Benitez CREATIVE DIRECTOR Mon Benitez ASSOCIATE EDITOR Ana Santos COLUMNISTS Aby Yap Alfred “Krip” Yuson Bernadette Reyes Bo Sanchez Carlito Viriña Francisco Colayco Jeremy Baer Dr. Margarita Holmes CONTRIBUTING WRITERS – UAE, PHILIPPINES, CANADA Mary Ann Marchadesch Angela Mapa Mary Ann “Maps” Santos Anna Oposa Nephele Kirong Barbara Marchadesch Nikka Sartgou Candice Lopez Quimpo Nina Terol-Zialcita Dante Gagelonia P.A. Escalante Did Paterno Princes Nedamo Excel Dyquianco Quay Evano Johanna Michelle Lim Rache Hernandez Kara Santos Regina Layug-Lucero Liza Lacuesta Sherry Tenorio Manny Escosa Sonny Guzman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS – UAE & PHILIPPINES Glenn Peter-Perez Cristina Linaza Mariyah Gaspacho Donald Rosales Dr. Marlon Pecjo Filbert Kung Paelo Pedrajas Eros Goze CONTRIBUTING FASHION CREW - UAE Jessie Tabla Frankie Melendez Jojo Padua Ginno Alducente PUBLISHER – UAE Illustrado Communications FZ-LLC 2nd Floor, Building 2, Dubai Media City United Arab Emirates P.O. Box 72280 Office 20C Tel: +971 4 365 4543, 365 4547 Fax: +971 4 360 4771 E-mail: admin@illustrado.net Web: illustradolife.com, illustrado.net Facebook: Illustrado Magazine Twitter: Illustrado Magazine PRINTERS Printwell Printing LLC P.O. Box 18828 Dubai, UAE STOCK IMAGES Dreamstime.com (Unless otherwise specified) Copyright Illustrado Communications FZ-LLC 2006 – 2013 All rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the written permission of Illustrado Communications FZ-LLC.

44 Feb. 2013 Contents Philippine supermodel Jasmine Maierhofer ditches her couture duds and comes back to Illustrado as a sweet and wide-eyed ingénue in this issue’s whimsical fashion feature – Baby Love.

news & features

Where is the Love? Understanding Arranged Marriages 16 Cheating Hearts 20 Inclusive Mobility 23 Digital Romance 26 Dating on a Global Level 44 What Lies in the Desert: The Bedouin Men 47 Unlike Valentine’s Day 48

74

regular columns

Editor’s Note 1 Contributors 2 Letters 4 Illuminati: Fire and Ice 8 Bayanihan Corner: Love for the Motherland 14 Illustrado Scrapbook 38 10 Things to do 40 Talk Back: Love or Hate Valentine’s Day? 52 On the Prowl and In the Know 70 Kabuhayan Money: Marriage Inc. 82 Kabuhayan Entrepreneurship: One Love Photography 84 Spirituality: How Do You Give Love 86 Onli in da Pilipins: Queen and King of Maarts 88

fashion

Fashion: Baby Love 54 Real Style. Real People 68

people & places

It’s What I Do 30 Entertainment: Love for Filipino Brilliance 32 Illustrado Profile: Unraveling Melisa Le Rue 36 My Pinoy Life In - Geneva 74 Trippin’: Malapascua – My Shark Tale 78 Pinoy Entrepreneur: Jay Alonzo 81 Illustrado Faces 90

88

Letters & Updates

Greetings and What-Nots Dear Ms. Chu-Benitez, Illustrado covers are so coooolll! Kudos to you and the rest of your team who put out issue after issue after issue of awesomeness!

Sincerely, Shelly, 13 years old (I want to be a fashion designer someday, or maybe a model. I would love to have my picture in Illustrado someday!)

Hi Shelly, It’s always great to hear praise from our readers, but it means a whole lot more when it comes from someone as young as you are.

See us in a couple of years and let’s see about that photo of yours in Illustrado. In the meantime, dream big for yourself. I’m sure you’ll get to wherever it is you want to be.

Hugs, Lalaine I really like your magazine. So many issues where you learn more about everyday living and most of all – fashion!

Elizabeth Carreon First, congratulations on your continued

ILLUSTRADO 6

production of your very successful magazine.

I am writing to ask if it is possible to get a few copies of your recent issue #69.

My daughter, Coraleen Waddell, had the honor of being on the cover. As this is her first magazine cover, we would really love to have a couple copies for our family.

Usually it is not difficult to just have family members in the Philippines purchase a few extra copies of the magazines that Coraleen has photos in, but your magazine seemed to be sold out everywhere they looked. Again, that’s a testament to the outstanding product you produce.

My wife and I will be in the Philippines next month and we were hoping to be able to purchase a few copies of that issue.

Thank you very much and have a great day.

Scott Waddell Dear Scott, Thank you for your kind words. It’s probably also due to the fantastic cover graced by Coraleen that made it such a sell-out. : ) Having said that, you can check Fully Booked branches in the Philippines, namely Bonifacio Global City, Greenbelt, Rockwell and Greenhills. Alternatively, you can also check with our local distributor in the Philippines at +63917.820.7277.

Cheers, Lalaine I love it always when a “kababayan” gets introduced - and I hear “Filipino”. There is just that pride oozing out from me. Salamat Michael Cinco sa pag bandera sa ating bansa. Mabuhay ka!

We should be collectively supporting and be thankful to every Filipino showing what the Philippines can offer to the world.

Jinggay Dinsay

Oslob Whale Shark Fashion Shoot Illustrado fans react to the Oslob whale shark fashion shoot post on Illustrado’s Facebook page – “Underwater model Hannah Fraser swims with a whale shark in Oslob, Philippines, for a one-of-a-kind photo-session. The stunt was the brainchild of US photographers Shawn Heinrichs and Kristian Schmidt. *Photo: Kristian Schmidt/Barcroft Media I’ve never seen anything like it and I’m proud that it was taken in my own hometown, Cebu. I’ve never been to Oslob, it’s one of the municipalities in Cebu. I live in the central part, but nevertheless, I take pride that it’s my birthplace and this part of the region is famous for snorkeling with whale sharks. This is a unique fashion concept, thanks for posting Illustrado Magazine. Kudos to US photographers Shawn Heinrichs and Kristian Schmidt.

Such a brilliant idea! A fashionable dance with the whale shark - it’s like a fairytale.

Janah Yu Amazing Philippines...She has everything!

Auggusta de Almeidda Did this last December in Oslob. It was nerve wracking to swim with more than 10

Letters & Updates giants, but they’re all gentle.

Don Pintor Even the whale sharks know that “It’s More Fun in the Philippines!” Right?

Carla Kramer Grady

My Proposal Competition with Liali

gave us the best reason why Darlene’s entry was a winner. She said it’s an “Amazing way to show your love - by telling what you love about them. You can keep these notes.

Read them when you fight, or when you’re alone and relive the moment always. It will be a reminder of your love for him or her.

Many times you do not say in person what you like, but this way you can express all that you want to say. Love the idea!”

Send us a letteremail: admin@ illustrado.net or join the conversation at illustrado magazine on facebook

Read about the Illustrado My Proposal Competition with Liali at Illustrado Magazine’s Facebook Page.

Illustrado Faces Batch 2 Illustrado Faces Batch 2 caused another stir on social media recently with another fiercely contested competition among 13 finalists. Teen beauty Lea Martinez as photographed by Richard Viray won Illustrado’s Choice while Batangas beauty queen Disayrey Sayat by shot by Flariden dela Torre won People’s Choice with 1,832 likes. Sweet Ariel Ines came in as a close 2nd in the popularity stakes with 1,095 likes.

Batch 3 is coming up soon. Keep updated by joining our community on Facebook.

We’ve sparked some excitement on Facebook last month with Liali Jewellery’s “My Proposal” Competition. Thirteen finalists vied for the prize of a half eternity diamond ring with their romantic ideas for the perfect wedding proposal.

Darlene Regalado came out tops with her “Post Its Proposal” idea while fan partner SHILPA JAIN won a Pearl Bracelet as she

ILLUSTRADO 8

Ariel Ines by Richie Nacu

Illuminati

By Krip Yuson

8

It may be too late for readers of this page, but it should st ill be interest ing to note that the so-called Love Month i s being celebrated with a fresh not ion among the l iterate (not necessarily l i terary) community in our country.

With a love letter writ ing contest, now how about that?!

Illuminati

T

he National Book Development Board has announced through its website and on Facebook that it’s holding hands with the UP Institute of Creative Writing in conducting this public dare. The invite urges anyone and everyone “to send in an original, handwritten love letter to a real or imagined beloved.”

More notes on the matter: “Letters may be written in English or Filipino. Deadline for us to receive your letter via mail is on 28 February 2013. The writers of the best love letters will receive a copy of 69 Love Poems and 14 Love Stories published by the UP Press.

It is stressed that the love letters must be handwritten, and that “the challenge includes having the object (which is the letter itself ) be as beautiful as the content (which would be the words).”

As a sample, offered is this brief excerpt of a letter from Napoleon to Josephine, dated 1796: “My one and only Josephine, apart from you there is no joy; away from you, the world is a desert where I am alone and cannot open my heart. You have taken more than my soul; you are the one thought of my life.”

Eow. Entries must be much longer than that, however, and should be sent by post (snail mail) to the Executive Director, NBDB, Unit 2401 Prestige Tower, F. Ortigas Ave, Ortigas Center, 1605 Pasig City. Winning entries will be posted on Facebook.

Now, that’s certainly a better “gimmick” than that “Lovapalooza” mass osculation affair initiated by a Manila Mayor and conducted at midnight ushering in Valentine’s Day. This was said to have

10

landed us in the Guinness Book of Records for the most number of couples that locked lips in public at the same given moments.

Oh, well. February being the “kulangkulang” month, that is, lacking in days, we can suppose that it needs beefing and cheesing up in terms of heat generation.

This may be as true in our tropical islands as much as in temperate countries that lie above the equator.

With the world’s climate patterns being tweaked no end, we in the Philippines experienced yearend storms and much rain, but generally warmer temperature, all of last December. Why, the speculation was even advanced that a bullyboy neighbor had blocked the seasonal Siberian chill from complementing our traditional Yuletide fashion.

But cool weather finally blessed us by January, and since it came late, we now hope that the welcome period of chilly nights and breezes will also be extended all of February — a decided advantage we have over some regional neighbors whose equatorial position dictates boring heat and humidity the whole year round.

It’s happened before, that we’ve enjoyed nearly a quarter of the year in cooler conditions. Some of us still recall that it was the cool of February — at the time — that led to a peaceful and joyous transition of power during “Edsa Uno” in 1986.

Otherwise, early onset of summer heat might have imperiled the brave horde that showed up on EDSA. This year, towards the end of January, it’s been reported that Mt. Pulag in the Cordilleras has been experiencing sub-zero temps at night. Icy conditions, those.

But since trekking up to that peak has been stricken off my personal bucket list,

I did the next best thing with a buddy — which was to go sub-zero by trying out the Imperial Ice Bar at The Fort Strip in Bonifacio Global City.

I’d done something similar a few years back at Hong Kong’s Lan Kwae Fong strip, in a bar with a special vodka-swigging room all dressed up in ice blocks. Entry meant being lent a fur coat to don for the half-hour or so that one could actually stand and drink there.

The vodka shots provided the inner fire with which to enjoy the icy conditions.

That experience was made all the more memorable by the company I was pubcrawling with. It included Nobel laureate Seamus Heaney, the special guest at a literary fest. Well, he proved so genial and avuncular that he actually grabbed my vodka jigger upon noticing that I hadn’t bottomed it up!

At our local version, opened late last year, it’s thick white leatherette gowns that ice barflies have to put on, making everyone look like Siberian doctors or mad scientists.

The vodka shots are at PhP275 per, and you’d need at least a couple if you want to stay longer than for just a photo op. Or unless you’re a couple sharing that shinlength gown.

Ah, the yin and yang of ice and fire. The cool of February and the heat of love — celebrated in public and private.

Dualities don’t always mean a duel.

Certainly not one to the death. In fact the dearth of one can mean the demise of the other.

Am I waxing too hermetic-poetic? Maybe I’m just trying to be cool — while heating up for all the love in the days ahead.

Bayanihan Corner

Love for the Motherland

By Ambassador Grace Relucio-Princesa

Aling pag-ibig pa ang hihigit kaya Sa pagkadalisay at pagkadakila Gaya ng pag-ibig sa tinubuang lupa?

Aling pag-ibig pa? Wala na nga, wala.

-GAT Andres Bonifacio- Pag-Ibig sa Tinubuang Lupa

Translated in English, the first few lines of the poem penned by one of our greatest heroes, the founder of the Katipunan, reads: What greater love is there, more pure and great, Like love for one’s Motherland?

What other love? There is none.

On the month of love, February, instead of the usual love for fellow human beings, I thought love of country, as our heroes defined it, could be a great topic of focus.

With love for human beings, one cannot love someone whom he/she does not know. The same goes for love of country. Thus, for this article, I’d like us to take the time to know our country a little bit more. Here, I would like to quote some excerpts from the book of Alex Lacson, somebody I know who loves the Philippines as much, if not more, than I do. Some of the information here are part of his latest book, entitled “12 Wonderful Things about the Filipino and our Motherland.”

The Filipino is blessed with a home, a country so naturally rich and beautiful.

As I have been saying, God has blessed us with so much natural resources. Of the 300 volcanoes in the world, we have 100.

We are one of the world’s most highly mineralized countries, with untapped mineral wealth worth more than US$840 billion, according to a report by the US Department of State.

The world’s largest concentration of marine life is found in the Philippines.

We have all the 95 species of corals in the world. We also have some of the best and rarest plant and animal species. The soil and the summer sun that we complain about sometimes are actually blessings in

14

disguise.

The Filipino brings hope to the humanity.

The Filipino heart is one of the biggest among mankind. I have been repeating over and over again in my talks to the community and others: Filipinos give TLC (Tender Loving Care) to the world. We are the preferred nurturers and professionals: doctors, nurses, engineers, hotel and service sector providers.

The Filipino is part of the solution to the world’s problems. He contributes to the advancement of human civilization.

Read about Baldomero M. Olivera, Diosdado Banatao, Josette Biyo, Drs. Christopher and Victoria Bernido, Efren Penaflorida, Gawad Kalinga and CFC’s ANCOP (Answering the Cry of the Poor), etc.

The Filipino brings life to the world.

He is one of the world’s happiest and friendliest of peoples. We give more fun and friendship to the world.

The Filipino has a culture of heroism, the Bayanihan. This spirit is a combination of two words, ‘bayan’ which means nation and ‘bayani,’ which means hero. Bayanihan essentially means community heroism or a community united in action. It is a people coming together to help each other, to help solve a problem or to address a common concern. The Bayanihan spirit has been adopted by President Aquino and myself as his representative here, to encourage collective effort to address some community and national issues. The fact that the title of my column here is Bayanihan Corner is self-explanatory.

Filipino women, apart from being among the most beautiful, are among the most free, most advanced, most accomplished, and among those highly regarded women in the world. Our country is in the top ten in the world for gender equality. As I always say, we Filipinas are Babaylans - Filipina warriors.

The Filipino is among the most respectful and tolerant of the religious,

cultural, and political beliefs of other people. Our country is one of the most open, most free, most diverse, and most tolerant societies in the world today.

The Filipino is among the world’s most creative, talented and skillful human beings on earth. We are among the world’s best managers and employees and we are represented in all professions in over 200 nations in the world.

The Filipino can understand and speak the language of the world. He can connect and communicate with most of the world and can easily learn the language of his host countries.

The Filipino has a wonderful sense of family. He takes care of the old and young in his family. We show this love of family through our sacrifices as OF’s.

The Filipino is innately a non–violent, peace loving and freedom-loving person.

Our EDSA example which we relive for the 27th time this month is an example to the world of non-violent change.

The Filipino is a believer in God. We give of our faith to the world, one of our Filipino F’s.

InshaAllah, we can all read Alex Lacson’s books and other books that will make us fall in love over and over again with our beloved Lupang Hinirang-God’s gift Pilipinas.

Happy Valentines to all of us! Mabuhay ang Pilipinas, ang mga Pilipino at mga nagmamahal sa kanila.

ing t f i l up t r! s e o w m e Po h t y a r fo Pin s f u o n ion Joi t a r b cele

Day • OF •

SISTERHOOD Friday • April 12,2013

Almas Tower Ballroom, Jumeirah Lakes Towers Area A Filipina-only event dedicated to self-improvement and bonding. Featuring no-holds barred discussions of women’s issues, educational workshops, helpful demos and all out fun!

Venue: Almas Tower Ballroom, Jumeirah Lakes Towers Area (next to JLT Dubai Metro station), Dubai *Note: Shuttle buses will be provided at assigned places around Dubai for those with no private transport. Please check upon registering with us by phone.

Attire: Casual Refreshments and light meals will be provided throughout the day.

Entrance is free, but please register today to book your seat as space is limited. Call us at 04-365 4543 or 365-4547 or 050 916 6031, 050 834 8151, or e-mail us at: admin@illustrado.net

Feature

“

Unfortunately, when taken to the extreme, this desire for security can very easily lead parents to focus too much on a potential son or daughter-inlaw’s wealth and social status,” ILLUSTRADO 16

Where is the Love?

By Rache Hernandez

Understanding Arranged Marriages WHAT IF, THE CHOICE OF WHOM YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH WAS MADE, NOT BY YOU, BUT FOR YOU? We all know the usual story; an unsuspecting girl meets a boy who seems to be made for her. They fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. We all know it by heart (we’ve seen enough of it in movies) that we might have taken it for granted that all love stories start out this way. But what if things were turned upside down, such as the case with arranged marriages. According to statistics from an August 2012 research by UNICEF and the Human Rights Council, 55 per cent or more than half of the marriages in the world are arranged.

Arranged marriages in history Arranged marriages have been in existence since ancient times, figured in by a handful of historical figures including Marie Antoinette who was married to the Dauphin of France even though they had never met.

During those times, arranged marriages were a means of preserving royal bloodlines and keeping wealth and power within the family. Young daughters and sons were considered a kind of currency that could buy strategic alliances and, thus, strengthen a family’s social position.

Nowadays, the lines surrounding arranged marriages may have blurred a bit, but the underlying reasons for their existence remain to be socially and economically driven. In India, where 90% of all marriages are of the arranged type, as revealed by the study conducted by UNICEF and the Human Rights Council, an arranged marriage is a ticket to lifetime security.

“It is directly related to a family’s desire to ensure that the children

will live a life of comfort and financial security,” says Vaishali Shah, an Indian Relationship Manager in Dubai. Vaishali was born and raised in Dubai but goes home to India regularly, and has over the years seen the reality of marriages there. “Unfortunately, when taken to the extreme, this desire for security can very easily lead parents to focus too much on a potential son or daughter-in-law’s wealth and social status,” she explains.

Divorce in arranged marriages Still, things may not be as depressing as they seem in India and the world. In arranged marriages that make it seem normal for couples to get married only a few days after they meet, there is a very low incidence of divorce. Divorce rate in arranged marriages in India is at a negligible 1.1 percent while globally, the rate is at an average of 4 per cent (August 2012, UNICEF and Human Rights Council).

However, low divorce rates can’t provide enough proof of happiness in arranged unions. Anshul Negi, for one, still believes that the foundation of a successful marriage is a deep knowledge and understanding of the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

“It’s really important to understand and recognize the person you are with,” explains Anshul. “Modern life is hard as it is. It will be more difficult if you had to start a life with a stranger, discovering and having to live with his quirky habits. I’d much rather come home to someone who knows me well and who knows how I’m feeling at the end of the day, and vice versa.”

17

Feature

What if, the choice of whom you will spend the rest of your life with was made, not by you, but for you?

A modern love story Anshul, an Indian who works in an e-commerce company in Dubai, found herself in the middle of a marriage dilemma nearly a decade ago, when her mother and brother clearly expressed their disapproval of her planned marriage to a man from another caste.

“They wanted me to marry a doctor who had to be from our own caste,” Anshul recalls.

Anshul felt love at first sight the very first time her husband asked her to dance. It would take much longer, several years in fact, to convince her family, especially her brother who stood as the head of the family after the demise of their father in 2003. Still, Anshul persevered, chose to go the less travelled road and fought for love.

Finally, her mother gave her blessing, albeit half-heartedly, followed by her brother’s lukewarm agreement, contributing only his presence but not his participation in the wedding ceremony.

“I am proud of my battle,” Anshul now reminisces. “I cannot imagine living the rest of my life with someone whom I didn’t know and who didn’t know me.”

Interestingly, Anshul’s brother is himself familiar with fighting for love. “My brother was in love with a college schoolmate,” Anshul recounts. “He was in the middle of fighting for our father’s blessing to marry this girl when she dumped him. He lost faith in ‘love’. After our father died, the family came up with a few marriage arrangements for him, one of which he accepted when he was 24. It was more for family than for himself,” Anshul says.

Love after marriage While Anshul maintains that one should be in love before marrying somebody, she admits that love can come ex post facto, as it did with her brother. “Although he married for the family, it turned out to be the perfect direction for him because he eventually found love with his wife,” Anshul explains.

If love can eventually happen in arranged marriages, are they then just revamped relationship stages? Viewed from the other side, could an arranged marriage be just a means to a happy ending, one that starts with a wedding?

No such thing as random “Arranged marriages are made out to be ‘random’ by cynics, but

ILLUSTRADO 18

there is nothing random about them at all,” Faisal Khan, a Pakistani graduate student in Dubai maintains. “Like in any other marriage, the relationship starts with two people getting introduced. The ‘arranged’ part is simply the facilitation of a meeting between two people,” he explains.

“Unfortunately, the concept has been given too much negative rap.

If your family introduces you to someone, it’s arranged, but if your friends introduce you to someone, it’s love,” Faisal asserts.

Arranged marriages can serve as an effective means of meeting a lifetime partner. Faisal expounds, “The Muslim culture suggests that you can’t be 40 and still be single. You are encouraged to settle down at a specific time. Arranged marriages ensure that you meet the right person, at the right time.”

Anshul also leans towards this opinion, believing that arranged marriages “are a good solution for those who are unable to find suitable partners by themselves. “

Unique take on love Are arranged marriages, then, simply a cultural uniqueness, much like the Ilocano’s frugality or the Ilongo’s lambing? Despite the many facets that, to this day, remain misunderstood, arranged marriages, in general, still support an age-old adage that says: “all you need is love.”

As Faisal aptly puts it, “There are a million ways to meet people.

Who cares how the love story begins?”

IF LOVE EVENTUALLY HAPPENS IN ARRANGED MARRIAGES, ARE THEY THEN JUST REVAMPED RELATIONSHIP STAGES? VIEWED FROM THE OTHER SIDE, COULD AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE BE JUST A MEANS TO A HAPPY ENDING, ONE THAT STARTS WITH A WEDDING?

Feature

hearts Cheating

By Ana P. Santos

THERE ARE MANY STORIES ABOUT IT AND RECENTLY, MORE THAN ONE MOVIE (WITH THE SAME ACTORS APPEARING IN IT, WE MIGHT ADD), DO FILIPINO MEN SIMPLY HAVE CHEATING HEARTS AND IS THE FILIPINA DESTINED TO BE A MARTYR WHO WILL STAND BY HER MAN? ANA P. SANTOS CHECKS WHAT’S IN BETWEEN THE SHEETS

Maricel had just discovered diving and was out on most weekends for short dives outside the metropolis. She liked the adrenalin rush and it was a great way to meet guys. The then 21 year old admits meeting guys was part of the appeal of the sport.

It was during a dive trip that she first met Bob, a hunky 24 year old, notorious charmer. Over one bonfire, heady and intoxicated, she and Bob kissed.

She was thrilled by the experience and told her other friends about it the next morning. One of her friends burst her balloon of giddiness and told her Bob was married. “I was really surprised. I knew he was a flirt, but he always seemed to be living up the single bachelor life. He was always diving with us on weekends and if some of us would meet for a mid-week drinking session, he would join us.”

Maricel who had never imagined herself getting into a relationship with a married man, recalls that she was even indignant that he had made a pass at her, saying: “Did

ILLUSTRADO 20

he think I was that kind of girl?”

Maricel avoided Bob. He sent her SMS messages apologizing profusely. He admitted he was married, but said that he and his wife were together only for their child. “I’d heard that line before.”, Maricel thought, ignoring the messages.

They met and saw each other again during one dive weekend. “There was definitely a strong chemistry between us… we kissed again. The physical just came naturally after that.”

Maricel, at the age of 21, found herself the other woman – a part she played for more than two years and even when she moved to Hong Kong because of a job offer.

She knows she could have had her pick of other single men. The married man she got involved with wasn’t a much older one she could peddle for money. In fact, at some point, because of the comforts afforded by her job, she would pay for his plane ticket so that he could visit her in the Crown Colony.

“Yes, I was that kind of girl,” admits Maricel.

According to Aileen Santos, a certified relationship coach explains, “Any woman can be the other woman. It can be situational or psychological.”

“You can be in an environment where it is conducive to have another partner – like in Maricel’s case – the weekends in the beach, diving and drinking. Or you can be around other people who all have multiple partners since you usually adapt the mindset of the top five people that you always hang out with.”

It may be no accident then that Maricel’s friend, Jen was also involved with married men.

“I first got involved with a married man when I was 19. Jake and I were all part of a group of friends and then we started hanging out -- just the two of us. Once, while on the way to school, he made a turn to a different street and said we were going to check in [a motel]. I didn’t object,” says Jen.

“

How have illicit relationships now being lived out in the open affected the status of the wife?

During the interview, Maricel cited Jen as a factor to her decision to get involved with Bob. “I thought about Jen and my other friends involved with married men. Jen has been involved with three married men already and she seemed okay, so I didn’t think it was going to be too bad.”

“They feel excited for each other. They’re feeding off one another and it’s some sort of validation and justification for what they’re doing,” Aileen explains.

The Mistress and the Mister Jullie Yap Daza, author of the best-selling book “Etiquette for Mistresses”, tries to analyze the role of mistresses then and now.

“I wish to clarify the role of the mistress as she was portrayed in my book, published 1992 -- sounds like a long time ago. The mistresses I wrote about did it for love, not gold; they were a more or less permanent fixture in the life of the man; in other words, they were not flings, one-night stands and the like.”

“Since ’92, romance has been stifled by the fast pace of life, by a more materialistic culture, by pagers, cell phones, the internet.

Many romances have been uncovered by text messages left deliberately and maliciously for a selfish agenda – Tiger Woods’ case, for example. If the women are out to snare a man, trap him for money, scandal, revenge or whatever, she doesn’t fall into my category of the mistress who shares her life–really shares--with her married lover.”

At one point, her book is scheduled to be made into a movie starring Gretchen Barretto, who coincidentally (or not) publicly known as a married man’s girlfriend. The movie did not materialize, but Daza did come out with another book on the same topic, entitled, “Mistresses Play. Men Stray. Wives Stay”.

How have illicit relationships now being lived out in the open affected the status of the wife?

Being called a “girlfriend” is something that Santos says contributes to the

acceptance of the other woman and somehow legitimizes the relationship.

“With all the political correctness that society now exercises, we hardly ever use the word “mistress”, “kabit” or “number 2” anymore. When we refer to the woman, we say: “She’s involved with a married man”.

When we talk about the man, we say “his girlfriend””.

Can’t have adobo everyday Alastair Mcindoe, a Philippine correspondent for the Singaporean publication, The Strait Times, says in his article entitled: “Filipinos and their number 2s’’, mistresses abound in the Philippines where divorce is impossible.

The Philippines, being the only country in the world where divorce is not legal, is a fact used by many to justify extra-marital affairs. News of affairs are often not met with indignation anymore and just a nonchalant expression of, “You can’t have adobo everyday.”

ILLUSTRADO 21

Feature

“

And once again, another stage is set up for intergenerational philandering. Will the Filipino man ever learn? Will the Filipina ever leave? Will the mistress always be allowed to play?

ILLUSTRADO 22

Daza agrees and chuckles a bit when she says, “I don’t divorce would lessen extra-marital affairs. Filipinos are just hot. It’s the Latino thing.”

Miguel, 35, can relate. He has been caught “cheating” on his wife a total of five times. His wife has caught the text messages, intercepted gifts, and dialed frequently numbers on his phone and has been greeted with a, “Hey, baby” by a woman answering the call.

He defends himself saying, “I’ve never gone all the way with any of them, honestly. Just kissing and maybe a little petting.”

He admits his decade old marriage is skating on thin ice and regrets causing his wife so much pain, but “I guess I just forget [lessons from my mistakes] easily…and ang sarap diba? The chase, the thrill of having a little secret. When you’re married, there is so little that you keep to yourself, everything is shared.”

His wife, Noreen, is resigned. “I know we can’t last like this forever. I’m always suspicious, always paranoid. Our children are very young, I don’t want them to have separated parents.”

Noreen admits that seeing her father blatantly cheat on her mother for most of their marriage made her promise herself never to endure that kind of behavior. Now that she finds herself in a similar situation, she uses her experience as ‘justification’. “Now, I understand why Mama stayed.”

And once again, another stage is set up for intergenerational philandering. Will the Filipino man ever learn? Will the Filipina ever leave? Will the mistress always be allowed to play?

News

I bid travel hassles adieu!

By Nephele Fabiola Kirong

I

n the future, we may really say goodbye to the everyday woes of commuters and motorists through a new and more innovative way of getting around the city.

Congested and almost impassable roads, poorly lit streets, heavily polluted air, an inefficient transport system – these are among many things motorists face on a daily basis and what makes up most of the Manila transport scene. Despite the improving economic situation, decades of neglect and poor urban planning plague the metropolis.

For a typical employee who lives in a suburb outside the central business district, a morning commute that should probably take only forty-five minutes will drag to two hours. He has to go through a similar ordeal in the afternoon, adding to the stress of a full day’s work.

Now, place yourself in the shoes of a disabled person who also commutes to work, but armed with a wheelchair.

With the limited ramps and other aids to accessibility, going to work is a major inconvenience, in the very least and a daily nightmare, at the worst.

“Mobility of all, for all, by all.”

What if mobility, or how we get around the city every day, could be easy for everyone?

That is the concept of inclusive mobility, a project managed by the Ateneo School of Government in partnership with the Metro Manila Development Authority (MMDA) and supported by the Rockefeller Foundation.

“The project aims to find more sustainable and innovative transportation

solutions that will benefit even the poor and vulnerable [the disabled] in Metro Manila,” said JayR Cordova, research associate and Danielle Guillen, project manager.

Engaging citizens: The wisdom of crowds To get a better picture of what Inclusive Mobility is all about, JayR and Danielle describe the activities included in the project such as training and engaging the public through social media like crowdsourcing mapping and inclusive mobility challenge awards.

With its participatory concept, it is hoped that citizens are encouraged to get involved in making their home cities more livable.

One initiative the Inclusive Mobility team is promoting is mapping activities.

Through crowdsourcing, or gathering of information sent in from a mix of offline and on-line sources, the public is enjoined to map public transport terminals and hubs, as well as cycling facilities in Metro Manila.

Aside from this, citizens can also push their own initiatives such as carpooling.

Either for going to work or for going to school, carpooling removes the hassles of commuting, lessens possible untoward incidents mainly unwanted meet-ups with pickpockets and perverts, and helps lower carbon dioxide emission.

Through encouraging public participation, the Inclusive Mobility project makes sure that everybody can take part and make a difference in solving mobility problems.

Humanizing the problems Inclusive Mobility gives emphasis and importance on the roles every person plays on creating change and making way for improvement.

With such approach, it gives all sectors a venue to come and work together. But more than that, the project attempts to solve the problems by looking at its human side.

Most transportation projects on solving traffic focus on improvement of infrastructures. While important, the projects often fail to look at the soft side of mobility in the planning. One such example are elevated footbridges which are meant to aid pedestrians, but are situated in locations that are too far from the areas frequented by commuters.

Inclusive Mobility seeks to look at both the hard and soft side of planning to solve the issues on a holistic level.

End goals A society that applies inclusive mobility has a transport system that works for everyone, especially the poor and vulnerable. It also lets people travel safely and securely in a clean environment. And information sharing takes center stage to increase connectivity and accessibility.

With that, a main objective is reached.

“The ultimate goal is a transformational policy on and expanding mindsets to innovative urban transport systems that includes all,” Cordova and Guillen said.

And with mobility issues answered, people can be more productive. The bluecollared worker living outside Manila would breeze the morning rush and begin work with more vigor. He also goes home less tired, still able to bond with the rest of the family. And the disabled person would never have to worry about commuting in a wheelchair, because he is assured that there is a structure built to make sure he travels safely.

23

From subtle ‘landi’ to full-blown romant ic gestures, you name it, and there’s probably an app to help you do it.

Nephele Kirong gives us the amourous download.

26

Feature

I

n this digital age, the wide array of “tools” made available for humans has made life easier – and that does not exclude, flirting and romance.

juvenile as (mis) texting a “group message” to just one person, hoping he or she will react to your mobile drama.

When your crush/love-of-your-life/appleof-your-eye consistently “likes” your status updates on Facebook, even the inane ones, it is probably safe to presume that he or she is crushing on you, too. Ditto if he or she likes almost all of your uploaded and tagged photos.

Making the most of “cam-whoring”

Of course, getting the actual confirmation is a must or you’ll forever circle each other – unless one of you gives up – without progress to the next level. Ah, the Filipino dance of courtship—it’s subtly seductive as the tango, but as dangerous as the Pandango—if you drop one of the candles.

Oh well, if you are just too embarrassed to ask, you can always get your friends to ‘check’ [read: snoop out] via text, chat or private message.

But then again, you can’t always leave it at just liking posts or re-tweeting tweets.

That’s way too unromantic. If you’re a romance junkie at heart, that’s almost as

It’s the love month! Let’s up the ante on the romance and give it a digital spin!

Every moment is now picture-worthy. With most portable gadgets built with cameras, catching and recording priceless moments is not a problem anymore. Even mundane activities like eating and sleeping are even caught on cam nowadays!

For just a few clicks, videos and photos can also be uploaded online instantly and used to broadcast undying love.

There are lots of videos on Youtube and other similar sites that feature men and women creatively expressing their love.

If you can stand the bitter reactions from those with a cold Valentine’s Day or the vomiting from your unromantic friends, videoing your love story makes for great bragging rights to your friends and your future offspring.

If you’re not a video guy or gal, don’t worry.

There is a another digital alternative open to you. Go through the photo route and meticulously select memorable pictures of you and your partner together. With multiple collage making applications available, show him or her how much you treasure your togetherness. Additional brownie points will be awarded if you present your collage on a random day, because surprises should not be only during anniversaries, birthdays or any other similar celebrations.

Chronicling the “love story” Everyone loves sharing everything they experience on-line. And of course, love and romance are on top of it. Just look at Facebook and Twitter feeds and see how many love-related posts are listed in a day.

Some people are not satisfied with that and create blogs to actually document their lives together. Because it is published online for everyone to see, it actually helps in pushing—or pressuring--couples to think creatively of their succeeding dates.

ILLUSTRADO 27

Feature

It’s like a digital scrapbook that the whole world can see and comment on.

It just may be a couple’s online version of a reality TV show.

Apps for everything And because the tech-driven methods mentioned above are still too tedious to do for some, exploring apps is a more recommendable route.

Try downloading apps that give you daily inspirational quotes and short poems that you can forward to your partner. Or perhaps, have an app that makes your shot wacky and weird.

Then, take a photo of yourself, use the app, add a fitting caption and send it.

This can easily and surely cheer up the one on the other end!

Going further, make use of the apps for planning the perfect surprise date.

There’s probably an app to aid you search for the perfect food, setting, and gift. (There is actually an app on how to pick out an engagement ring. Just might be what those looking for a change in status are waiting for.) If the many

ILLUSTRADO 28

other Valentine’s Days have left you burned out, broke or at a loss on how to be romantic, download an app for the perfect lines to say. Easy, romantically cheesy and if you’re lucky—free!

Keeping it fresh and new Modern technology has certainly made it easier to romance your partner. Never has love been able to boast of being beyond borders, as long as you have an Internet connection.

But you do need to be creative about it.

Being in the digital age requires effort, too.

A fan of 140 characters? Why not tweet or text a sentence to your sweetheart every day? Then, surprise him by collating it at the end of the year to show that it is a perfectly cohesive short story dedicated to him.

Aaawww…

Too cheesy for some, just the right of sweetness for others. Who’s to say in this age of digital romance?

Modern technology has certainly made it easier to romance your partner.

Never has love been able to boast of being beyond borders, as long as you have an Internet connection.

It’s what I do

H.H Mohammed Bin Zayed Al Nahyan

MYLENE ESCANO

Head of Abu Dhabi Sports Programming Abu Dhabi Media (Abu Dhabi TV) I am in charge of a variety of areas including sports programming acquisition for free-to-air and PayTV channels, 9 channels all in all. I also cover sublicensing, conduct short and long term planning, onsite coverage operations, draft channel budget/ strategies and maintain other standard policies and protocol for sports programming.

My work involves traveling and maintaining good relationship with international “sports” suppliers and being part of sports market trade shows in Europe, Asia and America. I also deal with local sports institutions/ federations in the United Arab Emirates and other GCC countries.

My typical day is BUSY! I wake up to see the sunrise but seldom have a glimpse of the sunset. My day starts with an espresso and scribbling in my notebook what needs to be done for the day. I enjoy my drive to work and then spend a good amount of time at my desk solving matters for the day. In between, I am usually called in for a meeting and then I rush from one meeting to another, sometimes within ADM and sometimes outdoor meetings with clients. My job is pretty diverse in that it covers buying programmes to getting into the nitty-gritty of operations and in between handling top prestigious sports events in Abu Dhabi.

I’m a workaholic and have mastered the art of multi-tasking, thanks to my +20 years experience in media and setting up of new channels. Every job is a new challenge that once accomplished gives a deep feeling of pride and achievement. I find myself, on occasion, being a consultant-on-the-job when I share my expertise and knowledge the different aspects of the business and business operations.

My schedule at work is busy due to the nature of my job, I work with people from around the globe and have keep up with different time zones. I try to clear off my emails by responding to each one as soon as I receive them, irrespective of the time of receipt. I sometimes find myself replying back at odd times even as my day at work ends.

Job perks

It was last year when I was chosen to be part of the Jui Jitsu and Abu Dhabi Int’l Sports Exhibition committee. It was indeed a

ILLUSTRADO 30

great honor when the ruler of Abu Dhabi invited me and I was congratulated as part of the team in his palace! That was the year that I will never forget!

There’s always a formula to become a successful person at work: Stay humble: Even though hot topics/ issues na ang dinidiscuss nyo sa work you still need to compose yourself. Never raise your voice and you will get your boss ‘s attention by explaining the root cause of the issue. Never argue! Admit to yourself that you cannot win every argument and that’s okay.

Honesty: this is the main foundation of trust at work. Once it is established then you will be on top of everything.

Lastly, hard work, work without limits!

ANTHONY DELA CRUZ Visual Consultant Marina Mall, Abu Dhabi

In summary, I am responsible for the image, look and feel of the Marina Mall, Abu Dhabi. My responsibilities include the review and approval of retail store planning and design, specialty

It’s what I do leasing spaces and common areas. All this is to meet the objective of ensuring the best shopping environment for customers and visitors. I work closely with mall tenants and brand principals like Prada, Gucci, Burberry to Zara, Reiss, Next, Esprit, to name a few on design development and storefront application.

Early Bird My alarm goes off at 5:45am and I tune to FashionTV while I get ready for work. I am in the car by 6:30am, heading to Abu Dhabi. Working 9 ½ hours, plus a 3-hour road trip eats up most of my day. But when I think about how design meetings, project site inspection and correspondence are all part of this, I get a better perspective of my day as fulfilling.

One of my more-than-usual-interesting-days was a surprise visit at work when I escorted the Honorable Jejomar Binay, Vice President of the Philippines, back in 2011. Being awarded ‘Best Mall Decor’ in 2005 awarded by Sheikh Mohammad Al Maktoum, Vice President of UAE and the Ruler of Dubai was undoubtedly one of the highlights of my career.

12 hours a day, six days a week. If not at the airport, waiting for my flight, a typical day for me would be sitting in my office early in the morning before the sun rises and leaving work when the sun has set. Any CPA in public accounting would agree that this profession entails a lot of work and putting in a lot of hours.

Traveling frequently can be exhausting, but I still enjoy it after doing it for more than 8 years now. I have to say, I enjoy the fastpaced life. Fortunately, I am able to sustain such a busy career with the help, understanding and support of my family.

Over the years, I have also built relationships with clients.

Many of them I have become friends with. These relationships have yielded client referrals, which I get most of my business from.

Secret to success To dream big is a basic tenet in life. Dreams and visions contain a special, exciting quality that stimulates us to do and be better than you have ever been before. The very act of allowing ourselves to dream big raises our self-esteem and elevates our self-worth, self-confidence and self-respect. It doesn’t matter what I believe in, it only matters what I can prove.

LOLI CREMAT, CPA

Certified Public Accountant Cashuk, Wiseman, Goldberg, Birnbaum & Salem, LLP San Diego, California

I am Certified Public Accountant (CPA) in California, USA and currently a partner in a local public accounting firm in San Diego. I prepare tax returns for individuals and businesses. I also conduct financial audits of businesses in different industries, but with a concentration in mortgage and escrow businesses, 401(k) plans and non-profit organizations.

My work requires me to travel a lot since I service clients in 26 US states my firm has a license to operate in. My job does not only allow me to see the different cities of the United States, it also provides me the opportunity to meet people from different cultures.

Peak season

Hard work is the secret of success If there were a story I could like to share to inspire my fellow Filipinos, it would be how I overcame all the hardships and struggles in trying to excel in a foreign country.

My family and I moved to the United States in 2002. I had been working for one of the biggest banks in the Philippines for 10 years, when my husband and I decided to leave the country and start a new life in the U.S. It was a difficult decision to make as I had already established a career as a CPA/Internal Audit Manager at that time. I was already comfortable where I was, but the opportunity was so great to pass up.

When we came to the States, I didn’t plan on pursuing my accounting career. However, the opportunity presented itself when I got a job at Filipino-owned CPA firm. After working for just a few months, I was encouraged to pursue becoming a CPA. I remember the review course and the exam fees being costly and at the time and I wasn’t making enough to afford them. After giving it some thought, my husband and I decided to use our savings for the CPA exam. I reviewed for the test while working full time, sleeping four hours a day, almost everyday. I took all four parts of the exam at one sitting and passed them all the first time. The rest was history.

I started as an audit/accounting staff at my current job and became the first Asian and female partner of the firm after five years of service. To this day, I continue to work hard and strive to be better at what I do, continuously sharpening the saw to keep up with the competitive industry of accounting and the everchanging technology.

My message to my fellow Filipinos is that there is no shortcut to success; the way is through hard work, hard work and hard work. Building a reputation for good work ethic takes time but when earned, will take you a long way.

I wish all the best to the Filipino OFW’s. Hats off to you guys!

During busy tax season (February to April 15th), I normally work

ILLUSTRADO 31

Entertainment

LOVE FOR

Filipino brilliance

By Princes Nedamo

There’s something about February that makes everyone smell the ‘love’ in the air. At times like this, public displays of affection are rampant. Playing along, let us not forget to show some love to fellow Pinoys who showed undulations of Filipino brilliance in their individual ways.

Sofia Vergara donned his black strapless, form-fitting masterpiece of a gown as she sashayed down the red carpet of the Golden Globes. In an interview, the designer said that he received an early morning call from his Los Angeles-based friend, saying that Vergara picked his dress which took 200 hours to embroider and bead. “I usually try to stay away from black, but I love the dress,” Vergara said.

Adding another jewel to his sparkling career was Lady Gaga attending “An Evening with the Chicago Bulls” charity event wearing one of his sequined creations with mesh neckline and sleeves, lavishly hand-embellished with gold tone crystals, beads and laser-cut mirrors. The creation also features molded hip pads and detachable architectural shoulder pad piece, fitting the edgy personality of the singer.

MICHAEL CINCO: With all the ‘impalpable’ works he has done the last year, Michael Cinco greets the New Year with not only a bang, but a loud boom of thunder as he makes waves not only among the Gulf and the Philippine archipelago, but across the globe. Colombian television star

32

In an interview with Gulf News, Cinco said, “The dress I designed was created in five days. It was couture-meets-avant garde. We all know she has an outrageous sense of fashion--she always wears something crazy and out of this world.” *Photo credits: Michael Cinco by Eros Goze; Sofia Vergara in Michael Cinco – Coco Perez

Entertainment

OLIVER TOLENTINO: Since he was honored as Designer of the Week at Fashion Week El Paseo in 2011, Oliver Tolentino has been making a name for himself as a designer to an A-list clientele.

This year, pop singer Fergie, became one of the best-dressed celebrities to welcome the New Year wearing a stunning chartreuse yellow one-shoulder silk chiffon ensemble with drape details designed by Tolentino.

Tolentino’s designs graced yet another big event in Hollywood as Blake Jenner from the musical-comedy series Glee

and Melissa Rauch of the hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory wore his designs at the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards in Los Angeles, California.

Rauch, dressed in a violet chiffon tube gown, tweeted, “Thank you to the wonderful @DesignerOliverT for designing my custom gown tonight! You’re my dress angel! #SagAwards”. Jenner, in dapper Oliver Tolentino tuxedo posted, “Super stoked for the Sag Awards today.

And a big thanks to @DesignerOliverT for my AMAZING tux! Thank you so much!”.

Tolentino also dressed other celebrities such as Emmy Rossum in an OK

magazine issue and Rachel Leigh Cook at the People’s Choice Awards. *Photo credits: Oliver Tolentino (www. olivertolentino.com); Melissa Rauch (Big Bang Theory) in Oliver Tolentino at the 2013 SAG Awards - photo by: Sthanlee B Mirador

SEDRICK BAREFIELD: From the threads and fabrics of fashion, let’s skirt around to the world of basketball. Filipino- American sophomore student, Sedrick Barefield, who plays as a point guard for the Corona Centennial High School, is already being eyed by college recruitment teams as one of the high school players to watch out for in 2015. According to Future150.com, Barefield has been described as ‘a monster in the open floor’.

Born to a Filipina mother and a former San Diego State University basketball player, Barefield’s parents’ fully support his dream of becoming the second Filipino *Photo Credits: Sedrick Barefield – slamonline.com

ILLUSTRADO 33

Entertainment in the NBA. “If he’s fortunate enough to go, we’d be very happy,” said mother, Kat Barefield. “He’s always wanted to play at a big school. You can’t ask for more as a mom if he actually gets the chance to go.”

Sedrick started playing at a tender age of four. Despite the early attention from recruitment scouts, Barefiled needs to be out of high school for at least a year in order to be eligible for the NBA rookie draft.

and Emeril Lagasse with guest judge, famous New York restaurateur Danny Meyer sampled the tangy, tasty sinigang of Chef Sheldon and commended it. “It makes you sit up straight, in a good way,” remarked Meyer.

The following episode, or about 48-hours later, Filipino food was served at a restaurant named, URBANo. Simeon and his team presented kilawin, balut, miki noodles, pork adobo and halo-halo.

“He put together a great restaurant, and every dish was a very good, strong dish.

The flavors in each dish were harmonious, and the meal worked beautifully and harmoniously as a whole as well,” Colicchio added.

As for the inspiration for the URBANo concept, Sheldon only has these words, “It was awesome. It was time for me to honor my grandfather [where he based his concept] who was an amazing man, pay homage to my culture and put Filipino food out there on national television.” *Photo Credits: Chef Sheldon Simeon – photo from mauicountyfarmbuerau.org; Chef Sheldon Simeon at Top Chef

SHELDON SIMEON If there’s one thing that Filipinos around the world can be proud of, it is our food. Our rich and tangy flavor has delighted many palates from around the world. Sheldon Simeon, one of the final contenders of Top Chef, a reality cooking show in America, proved this to millions of viewers. Despite the fact that he never set foot in the Philippines, he wanted to honor his heritage through the one thing he knows best – cooking.

Simeon and other competitors were tasked to come up with a dish and a theme for a restaurant to be opened in of 48 hours. What he did was simple yet effective.

Steered away from the usual adobo, he starred sinigang as his official dish to present to the judges. Efforts eventually paid off, as Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi and judges Tom Colicchio, Gail Simmons

34

ADOLF ALIX JR. AND SHIREEN SENO Filipinos continue to excel is creative industries. A perfect example is when Adolf Alix, Jr., an acclaimed director, and a newcomer, Shireen Seno both received acclaim at the 42nd International Film Rotterdam Festival, The Netherlands.

Alix’s work entitled ‘Mater Dolorosa’ is a haunting story of humanity in the midst of crime. Gina Alajar, one of the country’s premiere actresses plays the lead.

“Gina’s character is a simple woman.

Most of the time, she’s reserved and contained. Pero ’wag mo siyang kakantiin (But don’t mess with her) … for she will seek revenge,” Alix added. “It’s amazing that with very little explanation from me, Gina played the character exactly the way I wanted her to. I guess it’s also because she’s had so much experience working with the likes of the late Lino Brocka. She was one of his favorites,” Alix said.

Gertjan Zuilhof of the Rotterdam film festival writes of Alix, “The level of craftsmanship is extremely high and his rapport with the actors shows great experience and self-assurance. His style in directing gives the film a classic appeal.”

Meanwhile, Seno’s film entitled “Big Boy”, talks of a son dealing with family life and poverty. Shot entirely on super 8mm film, the grainy texture and intimate feel of the cinematography add to the nostalgic feel of the movie. This film will premiere in the ‘Bright Future’ category of the festival, where filmmakers showcase their 1st or 2nd feature films.

Fashion, sports, cuisine and even art films, you name it, Filipinos find ways and means to excel in various fields. Just as we are so passionate about displaying our love this season, let’s not forget that our heritage needs to be shown some love. So after reading this, be proud to say, “Taas Noo, Filipino!” ~With reports from gulfnews.com, enmaktoob.yahoo.com, abscbnnews.com, philstar.com, and mb.com.ph, asianjournal. com, gagafashionland.com, iamjammed.com and Future150.com.

Illustrado Profile:

By Princes Nedamo

UNRAVELING

Melisa Le Rue Refreshingly unique, the voice of Melisa Le Rue will make you feel energized and relaxed at the same time. With a mixture of electronic music, jazz, soul and indie vibe, the songstress enthralls as she belts out songs that will touch not only one’s soul, but also ignites one’s spirit.

With a mixture of electronic music, jazz, soul and indie vibe, Melisa Le Rue’s vocal prowess not only touches the soul, it ignites the spirit. Princes Nedamo discovers the refreshingly unique voice of the songstress who has the Gulf spellbound.

Describing herself as ‘loca-loca’ (meaning crazy), this half-British, half-Pinay singer/ songwriter is proud of her quirks as she journeys in the realm of music in the Gulf and abroad. Her music is a mixture of eclectic tastes and styles, influenced by

ILLUSTRADO 36

her upbringing and exposure to different cultures and backgrounds.

Early start Like many aspiring singers, Melisa discovered her passion for music at a young age. “I’ve always loved music, especially writing and singing. It’s therapeutic for me.

I feel strongly about something and start writing a song about it to express what I am feeling. It’s like [having] a massive weight lifted off my shoulders.” She relates that she started sharing her talent with the world

way back her teenage years when some of her friends asked her to perform at small events. “Myspace really helped me launch myself online and I started performing with some indie artists in the UK and Europe and began to develop my own style.”

Today, Melisa Le Rue is now a familiar name in Dubai’s music scene. She has appeared on several TV and radio shows, among them is the MBC Dubai morning show Sabah Al-Khair Ya Arab last October 2011.

Back to her roots Born from a mother who used to live in Leyte, Melisa says the Filipino trait she inherited is the ability to laugh in spite of problems. “It’s an attitude and a perspective in life. Why waste your time being sad or angry? Filipinos don’t take themselves or life too seriously and are grateful and appreciative of what we have.

As a singer, you put yourself out there to receive a lot of criticism and rejection.

People will judge you from the way you sing, to your choice of songs, to what you’re wearing, to the style of your hair. I would’ve given up a long time ago were it not for the love I have for music, and the attitude to just get on with it and keep smiling no matter what,” says Melisa.

And appreciate her, the Filipino audiences do! “I got most of my experience growing performing at fiestas in both the UK and the Philippines. Song and dance routines mainly, and of course, karaoke. The crowds were really supportive and into it--which was great! It’s always fun to perform for a Filipino crowd!”

The message of her music Melisa makes sure that what she puts in her songs are positive and inspirational. “My album is a mini-autobiography. It starts out with the story of a lost soul, someone who doesn’t quite know their place in the world and feels a bit different and alone, but full of heart and determination to be found! It’s exactly how I felt at the time when I wrote that song. It is about how I learned to let go of whatever it is in your life that is holding you back, to going on an unknown adventure, to appreciating the beauty of life. It’s about human issues, but expressed in a simple and fun way with some great eclectic beats produced

by UK producers Adam Nicholas and Colin Emmanuel,” shares Melisa.

Melisa’s music is a melting pot of both new age and traditional sounds. “You will hear a lot of my main influences are jazz, soul, world and electronic music. I love percussion rhythms, jazzy melodies,

soulful harmonies, and exotic tribal sounds. I also like the combination of live and electronic sounds. However, I’m an old soul really when it comes to most things, especially music. I love Pilita Corales and the old Cha-Cha style music.

I love that period of music where Spanish music was mixed in with Filipino music.

I also adore the tribal music from Filipino history and have heard some amazing Filipino choirs perform impressive renditions of famous tribal songs.”

As a singer, you put yourself out there to receive a lot of criticism and rejection.

Passion for passion Aside from being a singer, Melisa is also passionate about helping people, especially when it comes to women’s rights. “A few years ago I organized a music event called ‘History is herstory, too’ which featured female singers, musicians, artists and poets, to raise money for some Filipino female migrant workers who needed some help to get home and be united with their families after having a rough time. I also try to support RISE ABOVE in Cebu with small fund raising projects. They do great work like the recyclable bag project that gives women a means of livelihood to support their families, as well as a daycare center for children, and dental care and education. I hope to do more and more in the future.”

To know more about Melisa Le Rue, you can check her via her website: melislerue.com.

Photo Credits: Left- Mansoor Bhatti, Right- dress by Daze Tan

37

Scrapbook

RITA MARIE ABIOG My first professional stint in photography was as a sports photographer in York University, where I was studying Marketing. During that time, I was also building my portfolio by asking friends, and even strangers, to model for me. After that, I went to Elite Models and presented my portfolio to my first mentor, Matti Gidilevich, who helped me professionalize it.

Then, I went home to Manila and presented my portfolio to designer Randy Ortiz, who liked my work. Since our meeting, I have worked with him multiple times. He also introduced me to stylist/ columnist Luis Espiritu, who also became one of my mentors.

In the end, I learned that in this business you have to have people who believe in your ability to produce breathtaking images. However, I also recognize that I am a mere instrument to show people the beauty that God crafted in this world.

ILLUSTRADO 38

Scrapbook

MARLON BAUTISTA An accountant-auditor by profession, I was christened Marlon Manalang Bautista. But on the side, as a site administrator, frustrated writer and now, a wannabe photographer, I go by the name “Firefly�.

Since I was young, I already love taking pictures of anything under the sun. I also prefer taking pictures than being in the picture.

For the past three years, I have been honing my skills with focus on portraits and beauty, because beautiful people fascinate me. The craft of photography has infused me with much passion and determination and I know I have still so much to learn. But my passion will never cease like a firefly in the dark.

ILLUSTRADO 39

10 things to do Known as the quintessential home of sand, sun and shopping, Dubai is also a place for romantic interludes, as seen by the many concerts and musical performances that will tug at your heartstrings and make you dance. There’s even a little of an adrenaline rush with tennis stars coming to town. Mark your calendars for these events!

LISTEN TO JAZZ The newly rebranded Emirates Airline Dubai Jazz Festival is back! Headlining the festival are renowned international groups such as One Republic, 3 Doors Down, Deep Purple and The Script. The jazzy nights start on February 14 at the Festival Park in Dubai Festival City until February 22. An array of classic rock legends, pop rock stars and a variety of world recognized jazz and blues artists will play in the festival signature shows at Jazz Garden. Doors open at 6pm while the first show will start at 7pm.

Tickets range from AED 295 to AED 995, and available from Time Out Tickets Box Office.

REMEMBER MICHAEL King of Pop fanatics who can’t get enough of his songs can celebrate his music once more at the upcoming Michael Jackson History II Tour. To be staged at the Madinat Theatre in Souk Madinat from February 12-20, the concert will feature the world’s number one MJ impersonator, Kenny Wizz. Promising a performance as epic as Michael Jackson himself, the show will put together a live band of talented musicians, fully choreographed dancers, authentic costumes and a light show. Tickets range from AED 185 to AED 250, and are available from Madinat Theatre ticket boxes. Shows start at 7pm.

WARM UP IN LOVE CONCERT A “Magical Valentine” is what Pinoy hitmaker Juris and American balladeer David Pomeranz promise to bring on the night of love in Dubai.

The duo will have a concert at the Indian High School in Oud Metha on February 14th and will certainly make its audiences fall in love again.

With romantic classics such as “Got to Believe in Magic”, “Born for You”, “King and Queen of Hearts”, David Pomeranz is indeed going to melt hearts during this show. Also belting her covers of “Kahit Isang Saglit”, “Minsan lang kitang IIbigin”, and “I Love You Goodbye”, Juris won’t disappoint the hopeless romantics in the crowd. Tickets range from AED 75 to AED 200.

For inquiries, call Chorus Communications at 04-3682368. Doors will open at 7pm, show starts at 9pm.

ILLUSTRADO 40

10 things to do

GROOVE BACK TO THE ‘80S SWING THE RACKET Want to see the likes of Serena Williams, Maria Sharapova and Roger Federer strut their stuff, swinging their rackets? Book and buy a seat to the Dubai Duty Free Tennis Championships at the Dubai Duty Free Tennis Stadium in Garhoud. From February 18 to March 2, tennis aficionados will marvel at the athletic prowess of their superstars as the tournament features nine of the top women and six of the top ten men competing for the titles. Action is sure to heat up during tournament, which is now on its 21st year. Tickets are going to sell out fast. To book guaranteed seats, check https:// www.itp.net/tickets/dubaitennis/.

Who doesn’t love the music from the ‘80s? Here’s the chance to dance with Rick Astley, ABC, Heaven 17, Howard Jones and T’Pau, and bring back the sounds that spark waves of nostalgia. In a one-night only concert, these ‘80s heavies will surely bring the best of the era such as “Never Gonna Give You Up”, “Tears are not Enough”, “Come Live With Me”, and more.

Enjoy this ‘80s rewind at the Festival Park in Dubai Festival City on March 1. Tickets range from AED 295 to AED 495. Doors open at 6pm.

WATCH ROMEO AND JULIET Dubbed as the greatest love story of all time, “Romeo and Juliet” comes to Dubai in an exciting new production of the Shakespeare classic at the Madinat Theatre in Souk Madinat Jumeirah on February 26. As part of the annual Globe Education Playing Shakespeare with Deutsche Bank series, the production assures a highly creative, fast-moving interpretation of the classic play. For more information, contact Art For All FZC at 0508805074. Tickets range from AED 150 to AED 200. Doors open at 8pm.

ILLUSTRADO 41

10 things to do

CATCH WOLFGANG CELEBRATE LOVE WITH DON MOEN & FRIENDS

Celebrate the night of love with the music of renowned gospel singers Don Moen, Lenny LeBlanc and Paul Baloche. This February 14, the Don Moen & Friends will be serenading Dubai with a musical concert that will certainly touch hearts of everyone.

Come together in Wonderland at Oud Metha, and enjoy a night filled with hope, faith and love. For more information, contact Pragna Vaya at 050-2183536. Tickets range from AED 60 to AED 200. Doors open at 9:30pm.

HEAR NINA LIVE Bringing her singing talent to the Middle East is Asia’s Diamond Soul Siren, Nina. The crowds will surely fall in love–and will love her–as she belts her hits like “Someday”, “I Can’t Make You Love Me” and “I Need Your Love”. Catch her live onstage at the Boracay Bar at Asiana Hotel on March 8. This concert is a must-see one, and should be penciled in as early as now in your calendars. Contact Camille Amor at 0504597533 for more information. Tickets range from AED 75 to AED 150. Doors open at 7pm, show starts at 10pm.

ILLUSTRADO 42

Filipino heavy metal group Wolfgang is on its Middle East Tour and is stopping in Dubai at the Emirates Golf Club in Emirates Hills on March 7 for a night of hard rock and grunge music.

Award-winning and internationally-renowned, this Pinoy band has also a number of original compositions in its top hits roster. The one-night only celebration promises to be a head-bangingheavy-metal-celebration where members Basti Artadi, Mon Legaspi, Manuel Legarda and Francis Aquino will boost Pinoy pride as they rock Dubai. Contact Belle Belarmino at 0561435918 for more information. Tickets range from AED 125 to AED 250. Doors open at 7pm, shows start at 9pm.

WORSHIP WITH MICHAEL W SMITH Renowned Grammy-award winning musician Michael W Smith will have a concert in the capital this coming March 1st. Listen to his angelic voice and original compositions in this oneoff special to be held at Armed Forces Officers’ Club & Hotel in Abu Dhabi.

Sure to keep your hearts and souls fired up, this concert is a must for those who want to feel renewed spirits. The concert will also feature Brenton Brown as guest artist. For more information, contact Voice ME FZE at 04-2384240. Tickets range from AED 75 to AED 250. Show is from 7pm to 10pm.

Feature

Dating on a Global Level Anna Oposa takes a look at the dating rituals around the world and how Pinoys fare when it comes to romance across borders.

There is one list that the Philippines has consistently been topping: one of the most romantic destinations/beaches in the world.

Perhaps our powdery soft white sand and breathtaking sunsets and sunrises have a thing or two to do with the passionate and affectionate flair that the Filipino people are known for. Though our concept of ligaw or courtship has evolved throughout the years, much of our values and notions of love and dating have stayed the same. Society in general still expects men to make the first move and women to play coy (read: pakipot).

But what about Filipinos in other parts of the world? How do they adjust to different languages, cultures, and traditions in the realm of romance?

This month, Illustrado talks to Pinoys and Pinays from Europe, Australia, and the Middle East to learn about love across the borders.

From Manila to Milan “In Italy, love knows no place, age, or civil status,” declares Frances, 24, who relocated to Milan to pursue a master’s degree in luxury brand management. “Italian men tend to make a pass at [women] whenever they feel like it: at the metro, in school, at the bus stop, at the age of 20, 30, 40, and even up to the age of 70. They hit on you when you’re alone, with friends, or even when you’re already out on a date.”

ILLUSTRADO 44

Frances recalls one afternoon where she was at the bus stop when a man, approximately 65 years old initiated a conversation. When she saw that the bus had arrived, she said they should start walking towards it. “He says, ‘No need for the bus, I have a car! Come with me, I’ll take you home.’” She laughs. “So what was he doing at the bus stop when he had a car?”

In the past year and a half that she has been in Milan, Frances shares that she has been invited to be cooked Italian food for more than once. “[The men] claim it’s a typical Italian trait to know how to cook good food.

Naturally, I always end up having more Italian than just “dinner.’”

There must be some truth to the Italian trait of cooking and eating good food, because Joe, also 24, says that the way to woo an Italian woman is to wine and dine her. “For long-term relationships, Italian women, like Filipinas, prefer [a kind of ] courtship first,” the graduate student says. However, Joe points out that unlike Filipinas, Italian women are “more open” to flings.

For Joe, the challenge was the language barrier.

“When I didn’t speak it, I couldn’t date,” he admits. “It’s a must to learn.”

Joe, who has never had a girlfriend in Manila, says he can still see himself dating Filipinas, but he’d “prefer to be with a foreigner.”

Frances, on the other hand, thinks otherwise. “I’d date men of other nationalities, but if I [had to] go past dating and [get married], I would prefer a Filipino.

I need to spend the rest of my life with someone who understands my culture.”

Tales from Oz In Australia, guys usually make the first move, but “girls often make a move on their own accord,” observes Benson, 27, who has been in Australia since 2009 for a PhD program in Environmental Geochemistry at the University of Queensland. “Australia [takes pride] in equality—girls here are not confined to the social norm of waiting to be approached by a guy.” Ligaw has no “stereotypical protocol.” In his case, his English girlfriend took the first step.

“I believe the cultural difference adds some spice into our relationship,” Benson muses. “She is as clueless

to Pinoy culture as I am to the British lifestyle. We don’t see this as a negative, but instead a positive learning opportunity and a great way to strengthen [our] bond as [we] share things [with] one another.”

Alex, a 33-year-old graduate student based in Sydney, says that “as a woman,” she still expects the men to initiate. “[Men] are a lot more forward in Australia. If they see you are interested, they will most likely come up to you to talk to you and get the ball rolling,” she shares.

After dating a mix of locals and foreigners for over a year, Alex says she is in a happy relationship with a European. She thinks that one’s expressions of romance are part personality and part cultural. In addition to her boyfriend showing displays of affection through flowers, gifts, and dinners, Alex describes him as “very selfsufficient around the house.” She explains, “He cooks dinner for me and doesn’t expect me to do the cleanup when I come over. I find that incredibly romantic.”

While everyone in Australia speaks English to a certain degree, Alex said she needed to get used to differences in terms of fluency and sentence structure.

“My boyfriend is quite commanding when he talks. He speaks in imperative sentences without saying ‘please’ or ‘could you…’ most of the time,” Alex shares. “I could take that to mean that he’s ordering me around because we Filipinos are extremely polite when we ask people to do things. Or I could think about it and realize that it’s just a cultural difference.”

Dating in the Middle East Shamir, 27, is a sales executive in Abu Dhabi. In the nine months that he has been based in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), he has noticed a few remarkable differences between his new home and his hometown, Zamboanga. Shamir says that it is easy to find couples back home “walking by the boulevard, strolling in the plazas, window shopping in malls, and even eating street food together. In Abu Dhabi, he “rarely [sees] partners dating.”

Kim, a registered nurse who’s been in Riyadh for over a year, says that the landscape of love there is more conservative than in Abu Dhabi and Dubai. For starters, there are no movie houses in Riyadh. The laws are also stricter, making dating difficult.

45

Feature

Manila’s dating scene HE SAYS: Tomas, 24, writer: Courtship in Manila has evolved from being very formal to very casual. I would say that women are more aggressive now. From what I hear when the elderly talk, it’s almost as if women today do things that they could only imagine before, such as splitting the bill or even splitting the expenses for the wedding.

There are a lot of fun and interesting women, but only very few I would consider introducing to my family.

We need to have [another] couple with us [if we want] to meet outside. If not, we will be questioned why we are together,” she expounds.

Kim, 26, noticed that men in the Middle East are usually the ones who start the dialogue. She points out that women should make sure that the men are not married. “It’s a common scenario for men to pretend they are single,” she reveals.

As for gestures to show the men are interested, she says they “usually give chocolate, food, and gifts because flowers are expensive here.”

Based on Shamir’s observations, men are more generous in the UAE. “People are very fortunate to be working here, so [gift giving] is on another level. Couples have candlelit dinners in luxurious hotels, look at the skyline in Burj Khalifa (currently the tallest manmade structure

ILLUSTRADO 46

in the world), have a sandy adventure in a desert safari, fly high in a hot air balloon overlooking UAE, or fight gravity in Ferrari World,” he shares. “Jewelry may be the answer too. Gold Souk seems to be a friend to everyone.”

Miles don’t matter Dating is already complicated on its own. There are habits to adjust to and compromises to make. Throw in contrasting cultures, geographic borders, and language barriers and we get worlds of differences.

The differences, however, are not always hindrances. These stories show that they can be great opportunities—to learn more, share more, and discover parts of you (and the world) that you didn’t know existed.

SHE SAYS: Stella, 26, entrepreneur: It’s hard to meet good men. Most men are more like boys nowadays. Flowers, stuffed toys, and chocolates can be bought anywhere, but good conversation is hard to come by. Talk to me about religion or politics.

Technology and social media have made everyone more connected and disconnected at the same time.

It’s easier to promote one’s self, but harder to scratch the surface. If you want to attract people, it’s as easy as changing your profile or post some witty status that you found on some other social networking site.

But the hard part is that we seem to have forgotten to [be attractive and witty] in real life because social media has coddled us too much.

Feature

What Lies in the Desert:

The Fascination with the Bedouin Man

W

hile in Amman, Jordan, I came across an interesting article in a local magazine about how fascinating the Bedouin men are.

According to the article, Western women typically in their late 30s and 40s troop to Jordan for one of its other attractions—the Bedouin men.

The Bedouins are the nomadic desertdwelling Arab ethnic group who settle throughout most of the Middle Eastern desert belt that stretches from the “Sahara” Sahara to the “Arabian Desert” Arabian Desert.

The article went on to say that the place the Bedouin man has in women’s fantasies was secured with a silk scarf by romance novels where they are leading men such as the story of Angélique and the Sultan by French author Anne Golon. Epic tales like the 1960s Oscar–winning movie, Lawrence of Arabia is another strong influence. The film, lauded on Time.com as one of the 100 best movies of all time is the biography of T.E. Lawrence, a British lieutenant who helped the Arabs stage the overthrow of the Ottoman Empire.

Perhaps the movie established the affinity between the East and the West and sparked the fascination of Western women with the Bedouins.

Or may be, it was a lot simpler than that.

More than historical ties, could it be the biological/hormonal ones that is the lure of the Bedouins?

The Bedouins represent a far-off country with intriguing practices and cultures. Not to mention that these guys live in tents or caves and know how to survive the cruel conditions of the desert. It makes for a heady concoction of raw masculinity personified in bodies naturally toned as a result of fighting it out with the elements of nature. It is a classic, irresistible mix of exoticism that is well, knee–weakening.

The traditional dress for the Bedouin man only adds to the allure. Dressed in the long robe or jalabiya, and the plain or checked headscarf, the keffiyeh, the concealment only adds to the air mystery and gives rise to the need to uncover and discover. (Think of Samantha Jones’s fascination with men in kilts).

It reminded me a lot of the white knight riding mighty and proud on his white horse.

He was the essential and quintessential character in the fairytales I was enamored

with during my childhood. These fairytales, at a very early stage, defined the ideal man for me and I imagine, a lot of little girls the world over. The Bedouins were the Western counterpart of this knight.

Only the Bedouin had a camel instead of white horse.

In the ancient desert city of Petra, I saw some of the Bedouin men myself. Saying that I could understand the fascination with them is an understatement. Their dark skin contrasting against their light eyes set against finely chiseled jaws and high noses was a sight to behold. Their deepset eyes were encased in curled eyelashes so long that you could trip on them. And no, this arresting feature did not at all diminish their masculinity—it only added to it. I remember taking a double take and stopping in my tracks many times to catch my breath (not just because I was tired from hiking all over Petra) just to appreciate the beautiful creation of the male specie that stood before me.

My white knight (fantasies) was overthrown by this new sun-blessed, tight and muscular version.

I would have visited Jordan sooner if I had known this is what lies in its deserts.

47

Feature

UNLIKE

Valentine’s

Day

Excel V. Dyquiangco scratches the surfaces to see why guys just aren’t feeling the red-letter day.

Valentine’s Day is undoubtedly one of the best times of the year. It is the season where romance grows passionately and deeply for lovers and married couples. It is also an occasion where baskets and bouquets of flowers are handed out, when all restaurants are filled to the brim, when everyone you meet on the streets is wearing red and when all the television stations show how the interiors of hotels are being readied for that dreamy lovey-dovey rendezvous. (And just in case you’re interested, Victoria Court has just opened it’s own Red Room inspired by Fifty Shades of Grey.)

But for some people—well, in this case men, in particular--Valentine’s Day is not really been a joyful event. Some men have trouble living through the day of love, they dislike pretty much everything that comes with it—and that includes everything from the red heart-shaped balloons, to the red checkered shirts, to the red carpets and red-colored sofas. Are they putting on a macho-show or is the fact that everything is so red reason enough for a guy to grimace at this day of “hearts”? Geez.

ILLUSTRADO 48

Of past loves and hurts According to Rem Tanauan, a writer and teacher of love, Valentine’s Day is a worldwide observance of romantic love.

“That means, it makes romance between men and women the highlight of this day,” he says. “While romantic love is positive for others who have relationships, it can be negative for those who don’t. The day itself may bring back bitter memories of a romantic past, triggers feelings of unrequited romantic love, or reinforce one’s state of loneliness. Many men may have to deal with such possible reasons, and such emotional and sentimental issues are quite challenging for them to face.”

According to Rem, most psychological studies tell us that men have difficulty dealing with emotions and the easiest way out of it is to hate the idea, so as to prove that there is no need for it. “To sum it up, it’s not about the day, but the emotions it brings,” says Rem. Stage actor Bong Cabrera recalls

experiencing a sort of emotional trauma on the V-Day itself. “During college days I was making my Valentine’s gift for my crush,” recalls Bong. “I was very excited to give it to her but when it was time to hand it out, I saw her kissing someone. It was devastating! My gift went straight to the garbage can. The day after, she approached me and thanked me for it. I asked her what for and she said it was because of my gift. It turned out that a common friend from our dormitory saw it and told her. She asked me why I threw it. I just smiled and told her I was late for my next class.”

Ariel Obera who works in the publishing industry also has a similar experience but on a more serious note. “I am a cool daddy and I love my wife very much, but during that fateful day on February 14, 2012, my wife left me and brought our son along with her. She left me all alone. I still love her until now and I acknowledge my being a good provider for my son’s needs. I love her – Valentine’s Day or not.”

Feature

“

While celebrating romantic love is positive for others who have relationships, it can be negative for those who don’t.”

Just your average Valentine There are some guys who don’t want to celebrate Valentine’s Day simply because it’s Valentine’s Day. Some treat this as just another day and another tradition where all prices go up.

“It’s actually Valentine’s Day itself – it’s saying that if you don’t follow the traditions such as giving gifts to your special someone, you are being labeled as jologs,” says real estate agent Ray Evangelista. “And then when you don’t have a gift – patay kang bata ka!”

Marketing assistant Arbee Junio agrees.

He admits that he doesn’t celebrate on the V-Day, adding that just because it’s Valentine’s Day, you are required to go out and have a date. “I don’t go out on dates during this time because restaurants are filled with people having dates – just because it’s Valentine’s Day!” TV host Edrik Calma couldn’t agree more.

ILLUSTRADO 50

“The frenzy that goes with a psychological necessity to celebrate an otherwise ordinary date,” he says. “Traffic is bad, but good (Valentine) shows shouldn’t be missed.

Slave. Tsk tsk.”

Richard Ando, an OFW from Dubai zeroes in on the sweets that are traditionally given out on Valentine’s Day. “The prices of branded chocolates are higher and all because it’s Valentine’s Day,” he says. “But the good thing about it is that there are more reasons to buy local sweets such as pastillas as gifts.”

With such answers Rey says that perhaps men need to face what goes on in their emotions. “There are deeper reasons why we dislike things, and it is not about what we hate, but about the truth within us that we fear and fail to admit,” he says.

“Hating a day where lovers celebrate is a feeling that reminds men to examine how they have strived not just to have, but to grow in a relationship, with others and with

oneself. Of course, a wonderful, romantic and loving relationship is a rewarding human experience one can and must enjoy.

Valentine’s Day is a simple reminder that we are all meant to love and be loved.”

Talk Back

Valentine’s Day:

Love it or Hate it?

VALENTINE’S DAY IS JUST ONE OF THOSE HOLIDAYS THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE A LOVE OR HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH. WHICH IS IT FOR OUR READERS? I love it because it is so special for most people. Though for me, I don’t treat it as a special day with someone. I love to see the happiness in people’s faces everyday and in every occasion.

Rowena Rodriguez

I’m indifferent. But love the pa-cute stuff.

Tina Vitug

I hate it because I don’t a have special someone to celebrate it with. And I know it’s not just about having a boyfriend, but isn’t it about having a boyfriend/ girlfriend only? Am I too bitter? LOL : )

What a difference a day makes, twenty four little hours Brought the sun and the flowers where there used to be rain My yesterday was blue dear Today I’m a part of you dear My lonely nights are through dear Since you said you were mine Oh, what a difference a day makes There’s a rainbow before me Skies above can’t be stormy since that moment of bliss That thrilling kiss It’s heaven when you find romance on your menu What a difference a day makes And the difference is you, is you

Ericson Aguilar

ILLUSTRADO 52

Emman Almarez

Peer pressure doubles on Valentine’s Day.

Maritess BasaMartinez Wala kasi akong ka Valentine ever since…

That’ why I hate Valentine’s Day.

August John Pahayahay

Tinette Samala Pudda

Because its same old same old

Mys Zenitram

Jhie Bernales

Aside from (Valentine’s) being magatos, religion matters! It’s the fact that we can celebrate with our loved ones everyday and say how much we love and appreciate them, not just Valentine’s Day.

Every time Valentine’s Day approaches, me and my (ex) girlfriend would break up!

Tested na yan, mga apat na beses na.

I hate it this year because I’m not with my wifey.

John Warren MAGASTOS! LOL!

DemoNik Lacson

Just a show of affection here and there - why aim for just one day when it should be every day?

Gina O. Dulay

10gs

Thin Hating or disliking Valentine’s Day is one thing, despising it quite another. Illustrado reader, Damien Salvatorre (his real name withheld for his own protection) directs his fury at one of the world’s most loved “honey sweet” holidays. Read at your own risk.

1. Because it’s the holiday I never seem to remember or be prepared for.

Men can barely remember their girlfriend’s or wife’s birthday. Add to that Feb 14 is in the middle of the month and 14 is a number we usually overlook. At least, if it was the 1st or the 30th Feb, that would make things a little bit easier for us men.

2. Because it’s not even about love, it’s strictly about women.

Love takes two to tango, meaning both parties are equal in sharing the emotional responsibilities with one another. Now, if the guy didn’t get anything for Valentine’s Day it’s okay. But if the girl just got a Hallmark card from the guy “It’s the end of the world!” They don’t even open the card right away they look at the back of the card looking for a price tag.

I Despis about e

Valenti

Day

3. Because both sexes

are having a conflict of perception on what Valentine’s Day really is.

Men think it’s a day to get intimate with their partner. Women, on the other hand, think it’s a day to get spoiled by their partner - meaning gifts and fine dining.

Then if they are satisfied, they might reward the guy by getting intimate.

4. Because every guy is in the Hallmark store.

Have you ever been in a library and you know you have no business being in there? Now keep that image in your head.

That’s exactly how every guy looks like in a Hallmark store pre-Valentine’s - lost and confused.

5. Because I’m literally being forced to go inside a Victoria Secret store.

I have to admit it isn’t that bad, but the little smirk the sales woman has on her face while grilling me about the size I need, is just is too embarrassing.

6. Because Christmas holidays just finished and I’m barely recovering from paying credit card bills and now I’m in debt again.

7. Because you still have to

go to work, or to school if it lands on a weekday.

If I’m going to pay for a fancy dinner and a ridiculously overpriced bouquet of flowers that doesn’t really smell good,

ne ’s

shouldn’t we at least get the day off for that?

8. Because it’s the most sexist holiday ever.

Valentine’s Day is strictly pro female. It’s all about buying roses, jewelry, chocolates and teddy bears for the girls. All the ads you see are primarily about women desiring gifts; there’s nothing about men wanting gifts.

Well, for your information, we also don’t mind receiving gifts - but nothing beats “leave me alone and let me play with my Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3.”

9. Because statistically January has the highest rate of break-ups and is called the Break-Up Month.

So obviously most people are lonely through February and most of them are still recovering from their heartaches. They don’t need to be reminded how lonely they are because they are single or heartbroken – hello?

10. Capitalist period.

Are we so short on holidays that we need to make a fake love day holiday? When you are married, you celebrate anniversaries.

When you are just boyfriend and girlfriend, you celebrate ‘monthsaries.’ When you are single we celebrate birthdays. And last but not least, we have Christmas. If all these holidays are about love and giving, why even have Valentine’s Day? The simple answer to that is making more money for the year and it’s not about love.

53

Fashion PHOTOGRAPHY: FILBERT KUNG AND GLENN PETER PEREZ STYLING: RAIZEL DY MAKE-UP: ANTON PATDU HAIR: MARK FAMILARA MODEL: JASMINE MAIERHOFER FASHION: MANILA DESIGNERS – BRYAN CINCO, XERNAN ORTICIO, KORINE VINARAO, TRACY DIZON, GENO VELASCO, HERBERT CUSTODIO; BRANDS – DAS SHOES, CAMILLE & CO AND FOREVER 21

Fashion Blue sheer sleeved dress from Coexist by Camille Co; heart shaped dangling earrings from Forever 21

baby love Ring in the sweet and flirty spring season with dresses that are all about whimsy, cotton candy, hulahoops and ponies.

Come out, come out to play.

55

Fashion Floral top and shorts from Liz Lisa; pink thigh high boots from DAS

ILLUSTRADO 56

57

Fashion Yellow eyelet dress from Liz Lisa; orange shoes from DAS; white ribbon headpiece from Tiara by Tracy Dizon

ILLUSTRADO 58

Pink cropped blazer from Xernan Orticio; pastel blue dress with flouncy skirt from Korine Vinarao; white ribbon headpiece from Tiara by Tracy Dizon; blue glittered ribbons from Forever 21

59

Fashion White peplum dress used as top from Geno Velasco; purple beaded skirt from Bryan Cinco; purple glittered ribbons from Forever 21

ILLUSTRADO 60

Pink sheer dress with patches from Herbert Custodio; yellow pumps from DAS

61

Fashion

ILLUSTRADO 62

Pink sheer dress with patches from Herbert Custodio; yellow pumps from DAS

63

Fashion Blue sheer sleeved dress from Coexist by Camille Co; heart shaped dangling earrings from Forever 21

ILLUSTRADO 64

Brown floral dress from Liz Lisa; heart shaped ring and bejeweled necklace both from Forever 21; stockings from Liz Lisa matched with yellow pumps from DAS

65

Fashion Pink floral dress from Bryan Cinco; heart shaped earrings from Forever 21 ; shoes from DAS

ILLUSTRADO 66

67

Real Style, Real People

Casual and cool, Senior Flight Steward for Emirates Airlines MARIO CENDANA, demonstrates how to do street style well with comfy sneakers, cap, statement tee and a relaxed jacket.

Fashion designer LEO ALMODAL does cosmopolitan man about town in a black winter ensemble.

AGIE MARELID of Ikon Solutions – Abu Dhabi, braves the subzero Swedish climate in a faux fur coat. She says winter in the deep forests doesn’t mean dressing up like lumberjacks

Petite chic in the city. Cute and perky ANNA PALASPAS, style blogger at annapalaspas.com shows what casual glam evenings are all about in the City of Gold.

ILLUSTRADO 68

Some smart nautical inspirations go well for work through to a night in the city. Stylish architect ALEXIS PEÑAFUERTE WENCESLAO and (left) his friend don chic blazers matched with more relaxed striped tees.

This is how you do Paris in the winter. Fashion designer EZRA SANTOS strikes a pose in front of the Eiffel with in a fierce ensemble – the piece de resistance - a black as night faux fur coat.

Fashion stylist PRECIOUS K. of PEA FIERCE – UK shows how to dress for the cold without losing out on style.

Nothing like prep chic at work for DONG DIMAL Area Visual Merchandising Manager for one of the UAE’s most fabulous fashion retailers.

TOFFER MAGBOO Dubai-based fashion designer makes an early welcome to spring with his light and colorful ensemble.

MICHAEL AMAZONA DEL MAR, fashion stylist and events producer at IKON Dubai hits the local Sinulog like no other complete with killer style and a killer attitude.

69

On the Prowl and In the Know

STUMBLING UPON THE DUBAI UNDERGROUND

by Kristine Abante – Dubai Back in the 80s, when you say “Middle East” it immediately conjures images of the desert, oil rigs, construction, 24carat gold, strict Arab masters and of course, our lonely OFs. The Gulf war in the 90s and 9-11 terrorist attacks didn’t seem to improve that image much, but that didn’t stop the diaspora of Pinoys in this region, especially into the “open” city of Dubai.

See, I had been warned about Dubai, fake, pretentious, boring and removed of any of real soul, but lately I’ve been finding myself checking-in at more and more good art and music venues, enough to make me reconsider.

Today a new cultural movement is emerging from the underground, and with that a new breed of talented Pinoys are again at the forefront. We

ILLUSTRADO 70

caught up with one of them one night, Filipino artist Darwin Gueverra, while he was working on this huge graffiti art in some 5-star hotel’s parking lot along with other international artists who flew in for the occasion. We went further inside, a world-famous DJ was playing, the cool crowd was trickling in and as we took a seat in the gutter with our drinks, we thought to ourselves - well look at that - Dubai is not what it used to be.

Ironically, despite its array of swanky places, it was there in that parking lot that night that we stumbled upon the city’s real pulse - faint but alive and definitely a sign of good things coming.

Follow Kristine on www.band-aid-blues. blogspot.com

ENJOYING A DATE-LESS VALENTINES

by Tracy Ley - Dubai – Dubai No date for Valentines? Don’t fret. You can still enjoy it in other ways.

February for me will always be the month of love. The month when couples get all loved up and go all out for dinner, gift surprises and dates. It’s also the month that most singles dread.

I am not single; in fact I have been in a relationship with the same man for 5 years. I have experienced being single on Valentines though, and it can be depressing, but at the same time, it can also be meaningful.

Think of it this way – Valentine’s Day is not just for couples. In fact, it can also give you a way to express your love to someone else.

Arrange a night out with your friends on V-day. Watch chick flicks at your friend’s house or get out there and paint the town red. If your mom is a single mum like me, take her out for dinner and have a girly time. Treat her to a nice place and give her flowers. Trust me, she would love it.

If you’re a single mum/dad and have a child, take her/him out for some kiddy fun. Have some lunch or dinner and watch a favorite cartoon together. If you and your fiance/bf/gf/husband/wife are not together on Valentine’s Day, it wouldn’t hurt to send her/him a bouquet of flowers, chocolates and a card. The thought really counts.

I think we should all remember that Valentines is also about the love we share for someone special. May they be relatives, family or friends.

Photo Credits: Top-Tracy by Gabby Yap Follow Tracy – www.misstracyley12.blogspot.com

Pinoy-Craz y About Basketball

by Ion Gonzaga – Dubai I’ve always been a huge basketball fan since I was a kid. That could have been influenced by the huge following of the sport in our country. Beyond that, I also love to relate and apply the strategies and tactics of the game in real life, especially at work - how to win in the game of life.

Majority of the Filipinos are also into basketball. I guess it runs in our blood, even here in Dubai, though we hardly ever hear any news about basketball at all.

Two weeks ago, we came to cheer for Team Pilipinas (Gilas 2) at the Dubai International Basketball Tournament 2013.

Though this team came minus the Philippine basketball superstars, our kababayans still came in droves for support.

Al Ahli Sports Club turned into the Philippines home court! We packed the gym, while fans of the opponent occupied only 5% of the seats! It was a different level of fun - cheering for our country team. We

were shouting, stomping and exchanging high-fives. At one point, the Pinoy crowd bashed the Lebanese counterpart with jeers, and they responded with their “Byebye Filipinni, Byebye” chants. And as receptive we are, we just laughed it off, turned our backs to them and gave them a massive boo! All part of the game. In the end, I literally lost my voice.

How could you not be moved when you see our basketball players catch-up really well with the taller, heftier opponents? We love being hailed as underdogs, don’t we? Though the team came short of a trophy this year, we don’t mind. The best thing is, it has united the Filipino community once again.

Follow Ion Gonzaga - http://www. boydubai.com/ or on Twitter @ionGonzaga

71

On the Prowl and In the Know

FILIPINO-KUWAITI STYLE COLLAB

By Bruha Eve – Kuwait “Are you on Facebook? I got Twitter and Instagram too, Add me!”

These are some of the friendliest gestures we respond to when meeting people these days! And yes, social media is my newest superhero!

The most awesome people on the planet are often active on these websites. It’s a great source of information and database of interests and fun. This is where I came across Yousef Al- Taher’s (pictured here with Naomi Campbell) profile - Creative Art Director and Stylist. He’s one of the most stylish, talented and promising Kuwait fashionistas I know, who later became my friend. So when he proposed collaboration, I was honored!

Currently, we are working on ‘Vivid’ a prêt-à-porter line of trendy customized pieces like no other. Vivid, differentiates itself by exclusiveness, creativity and affordable price points. The brand will be available through online shopping via Goji boutique. Experimental indeed - we are both thrilled.

Vivid will be the first collaboration of its kind – that of a Filipino’s artistic hand and a Kuwaiti’s creative mind. What an interesting combination, isn’t it? We are both investing friendship and supporting each other’s talent, and that’s what makes us invincible.

Thank God for genius minds and social media. We just love technology don’t we?

Follow Bruha Eve - www.bruhaeve.com

BABIES ON CAM

by Leslie Fiestan – Riyadh For years photography has been one of the many hobbies I have enjoyed.

Taking portraits of people is what I love the most but when I was asked to take photos of children, I was a bit worried.

Taking photos of children especially at a party is a tricky thing, it takes patience, a watchful eye, great timing and can be physically draining. There are kids who love to pose for the cam but most would shy away especially with strangers and that’s the biggest challenge.

You have to get their attention and the moment they look at the cam you have to be quick to click the shutter and hope that their eyes are open and they don’t look awkward. Keeping them entertained, not disturbing them when they are at play, making sure they won’t cry or making them to smile is quite tricky. Some of the best photos are candid or stolen shots, so just keep clicking the shutter until you get the

ILLUSTRADO 72

photo you like.

New born babies are easier to photograph, but available lights are recommended and flashes shouldn’t be aimed directly but bounced on walls or reflectors. Even the smallest details should not be forgotten. My first new born shoot was with my sister’s daughter.

I looked around the house for props which I used to create the set. With a little imagination and resourcefulness as well as my mom’s suggestions, we managed to make a dreamlike scene.

Children are perfect models - every emotion captured on cam even of them crying seems perfect, but there’s nothing like capturing a baby’s precious smile or laugh.

Follow Les - http://lesfiestan.multiply.com/, http://lesfiestan.daportfolio.com/

LOOK LIKE A BEAUTY ICON IN FAB FEB

by Anna de Leon – Dubai It is Fab February! And what better way to celebrate the month of Love than by providing my loyal followers with tips on how to look like Hollywood’s Top Beauty Icons like JLo, Kim K. and Ange J. There are so many gorgeous actresses in Hollywood, however, I have always been in awe of these 3 women for many years, especially when they step out for a red carpet event or pose for top magazines.

These 3 women each have signature looks which, with a little help and guidance, can be yours too! So read on and shine like a beauty icon this Valentine’s Day. J Lo has always had amazing skin and her Make Up Artist, Scott Barnes, knows exactly how to make her dazzle even more. The key to the JLo “lit from within” look is to apply your highlight properly. You would certainly want to highlight the tops of your cheekbones for a more chiseled, supermodel look, the bridge of your nose, avoiding the ball of the nose, cupid’s bow and your chin. To up the ante of your look, why not go for an up do? It’s fast, and very easy to do. Lastly, a red lip never fails to glam up any look.

Kim K, in my opinion has one of the most beautiful brows in the industry. It’s bold and beautiful! Get these signature brows by following these simple steps. Measure your

VIDEO-TELLING IT FROM RIYADH

by Rian Miranda – Riyadh

brows. The beginning of your brows should be parallel to the ball of your nose. Starting your brows far from the ball of your nose may give the impression that you have wide set eyes or wide nose. The all important arch should be parallel to the end of your iris and the end of your brows should be parallel to the end of your eye.

Now that you know your brows and how to shape them, use these tools to brow wow! An eyebrow pencil that is a shade lighter than your hair. An angled brush dipped in a matte, light brown eye shadow will make the look appear more natural. Lastly, apply a clear mascara to keep your brows in place.

Ange, aside from her porcelain skin, is never without the feline flick. All you need to recreate Ange’s bedazzling eyes is a sharpened black kohl pencil that you can blend easily, a black gel liner, a black matte eye shadow and a smudge brush. Using the sharp, black kohl pencil, line your lash bed and wing up. Using the smudge brush dipped in the matte black eye shadow, soften the lines. Lastly, for a look that will last the whole night, trace the feline flick that you have created with the gel liner.

Photo Credits: Rafael Dela Cruz Follow Anna – www.annadeleonmuastylist. blogspot.com

Recently, I saw my mom all teary-eyed from something she was watching from her iPad. It was a simple yet fancy wedding video where a wonderful love story is told. For me, it was great story telling. It had conflict, change, emotion; the film had unfolding action and it made me see another view on an issue.

It didn’t have a speaker. It was straight and uncomplicated, yet it made me feel something. And so I had to ask myself, “Can I make something like that too?”

I am a photography enthusiast, and I know for a fact that it is not easy to act or convey a certain feeling through a photo. So what made video-telling more interesting for me? The fact that I can actually let my family and friends see and feel what I’m experiencing, as close as they can get to actually being there!

So here I go with my video-telling project. The first few videos I have made were taken with my mobile phone, and I have unashamedly posted it just for fun and to receive constructive criticism from video prodigies. I have recently purchased a few video gears and I’m already psyched to use them to make professional-looking personal films on a daily basis (I will try haha). But one step at a time though …

There is a quote from Mumford & Sons that goes something like, “Where you invest your time, you invest your life.” And I like to invest my time on something that I will cherish for a lifetime.

Follow Rian - Instagram: msrianmiranda, Youtube: www.youtube.com/rianmiranda

73

ILLUSTRADO 74

Pinoy Planet

My Pinoy Life in

Geneva

by PA Escalante

WWW: The wanderer and the written word or world wide web. For PA Escalante, settling in Geneva has made the two phrases somewhat related. enough to grow roots. I was a bit of a rolling stone. As a wanderer, I needed to find a way to express myself and chronicle my travels.

So I turned to words and writing because it was the only thing that no one could take away from me if I moved again. I always quip that I grew up everywhere.

World wide wanderer

PA Escalante

M

y love affair with the written word began with the love affair I had with the world. At the age of 9, we were whisked off to the land of dreams– the United States. Then at the age of 13, we moved again to the land of the seven sands–the United Arab Emirates. Then we just kept moving and moving after that.

I began to identify myself as a wanderer and knew that I would not stay in a place long

Due to our moves, I felt I was neither here nor there and then one day in Abu Dhabi, my mother encouraged me to join an essay contest about the topic “The Filipino in Me”. This helped me to look inward and ask myself who I was. I thought, yes, I was Filipino by blood and by culture even if I no longer spoke the language. From the age of 15, a young woman growing up in a globalized world, I began to identify myself as truly Filipino. I may be a woman of the world, but I always maintain that I am a Filipino and I am proud to be one.

Going to university in the Philippines helped me to grow roots and solidify my Filipino identity and relearning Filipino was an arduous yet fulfilling experience.

Settling in Switzerland Before arriving in Geneva, Switzerland where I am now, my family and I lived in other places – the most exotic being Baghdad, Iraq (before the war). After Baghdad, I returned to Manila to work, only to leave again after a short while to join my family in Geneva. Thank God, I was able to find work immediately so that I could better integrate into my new milieu.

When we think of Switzerland, we think of chocolates, watches and the Alps.

Characters such as Heidi spring to mind.

Switzerland is also known as the Helvectic Confederation because Helvetia is the Latin name of Switzerland. There are four official languages: French, German, Italian and Romantsch, representative of the borders it shares with France, Germany and Italy and its Roman history. So, if you meet a Swiss, it is not unusual that they speak three or more languages.

Switzerland has four seasons and each one showcases the beauty of this small and magical place.

Switzerland is divided into 26 cantons or what we would consider states. It is a federated country so each canton is

75

Pinoy Planet

governed by its own rules and laws pretty similar to that of the United States; the difference being the rotation of public officials, including the president, the mayors and other elected officials to prevent political dynasties or stagnancy. They also believe in popular democracy with every little political decision determined by the outcome of a full-blown referendum.

ILLUSTRADO 76

The Swiss are very disciplined and precise, ergo the term “Swiss precision”. In Zurich, one can adjust one’s watch by the precision of the trams. Public transportation can be relied on and come and go at pre-set intervals. They take much pride in their work and they respect work and play. They work when it is time to work and they take long vacations over summer in far-off

places to also recuperate.

They also value honesty and due process.

One could get on a bus without buying a ticket because there are no inspectors, but there are random checks. Flowers and goods can be sold in open air with only a mailbox to put money in. And if your rights are violated, the Swiss make sure that there is due process to remedy it.

Life is very easy in Switzerland that for people who come for a month end up staying for 30 years or the rest of their lives.

Geneva, where I am based, is a very cosmopolitan city. It is the home of many intergovernmental and international nongovernmental organizations including the United Nations and its agencies, the International Standardization Organization and the International Committee of the Red Cross. It is the place where many conventions have been penned, thus, the Geneva Convention on this and that. Although French is the official language, English is becoming commonplace due to the presence of expatriates from these organizations. Life here is very laid back.

It is small city with only a little less than 200,000 inhabitants.

Working in the UN I moved here to join my family and to find work in 2004. I have been here since. I have the privilege of working for the United Nations as a text processing assistant. And you ask, what is that?

Our work consists of making sure that the documents in the six official languages of the United Nations (for me, English) comply with the standards of the organization and are ready for reproduction. We encode corrections made to translated text in English, proofread it and assemble it until it is ready to be issued to the client.

At the outset, Geneva seemed lifeless compared to the hustle and bustle of other cosmopolitan cities. But it is home to many museums and film festivals. There are also many activities if you look for it.

Geneva and Switzerland have a long history and one does not need to look far to appreciate the richness of that history and culture. Fun fact: the word Jurassic refers to the Jura Mountains which surround Geneva. Did you know Geneva is the birthplace of the WWW or the World Wide Web? For me, since my life has been one big rolling stone, I welcomed the tranquillity and comfort that Geneva offered. I made friends, some Swiss so that there was stability and longevity of friendships. Because of the transient nature of the people here in Geneva, you could make friends today and they could leave the next month due to their work.

Geneva is a beautiful place. One could fall in love with the city immediately or wake up one day loving it and missing it. At least that is how it was for me. Now, when I travel, I look forward to coming home to Geneva. I feel like the wanderer has finally found a home.

77

My (thresher)

SHARK TALE by: Anna Oposa

Scuba diver Anna Oposa traded the city life for the island life to pursue her dream project. A typical day for her in Malapascua Island begins at 4AM to hang out with sharks, and ends at 5PM to watch Mandarinfish mate.

In September 2012, I packed my bags and scuba diving gear and moved to Malapascua, a small island north of mainland Cebu.

The trip from Manila to this worldrenowned diving destination is exhausting: a one-hour flight from the Ninoy Aquino International Airport to the Mactan International Airport, a 15-minute cab

78

ride to the North Bus Terminal, a 4-hour air-conditioned bus ride to Maya for PhP175, and another 30-minute boat ride to Malapascua for P80. The boat ride can get rough, so prepare to get splashed (or drenched) along the way. The duration can be shortened by an hour or two if you hire a private vehicle to pick you up from the airport, but it comes with a P2,500-3,000 price tag.

The journey by air, land, and water becomes worthwhile at the sight of the island’s white sand, glittering waters, and coconut tree-fringed shore. But the true superstar of Malapascua, and what inspired me to relocate, is what lies 30 meters beneath the horizon: the thresher shark.

trippin’

Fin-tastic friends Divers from all over the world travel thousands of kilometers for a chance to see this rare species classed as Vulnerable to extinction by the International Union of Conservation for Nature. Monad Shoal, the dive site eight kilometers from Malapascua, is the only place in the world where thresher sharks can be seen almost everyday because of their necessary relationship with cleaner wrasses. Simply put, Monad is the sharks’ cleaning station or barber shop.

What makes this particular shark attractive and visually distinct is its tail. It is thresher-

like, thus the name, and can grow as long as its body.

By as early as 4:30AM, you’ll see a number of boats heading for Monad. Research shows that the thresher sharks appear early in the morning to get groomed. Divers descend using the moorings and wait for the sharks to swim by.

The conservation project to intensify the protection of thresher sharks has taken me to Monad many times over the last few months. Waking up before the sun rises can get tiring, but the feeling of seeing the sharks up close never does. I am left in awe every time they swim past me, slowly, with

their tails undulating behind them, like the ribbon of an Olympic gymnast. They can get quite curious, and if divers behave accordingly instead of thrashing about or chasing them, the sharks can come within reach and watch you watch them.

Beyond Monad When I don’t wake up in time for Monad, I join a trip to Gato Island, a diving destination one hour away from Malapascua. “Divers come here to see the thresher sharks, but they leave their hearts in Gato,” Dennis, my friend and dive manager of Divelink, once told me.

ILLUSTRADO 79

It’s not hard to see why divers would feel that way. Gato could easily have been James Cameron’s peg for Avatar. It holds meadows of soft corals, a 20-meter tunnel to penetrate, colorful sea slugs, and gigantic reefs. White tip sharks, another uncommon species, are often found sleeping under a particular reef during the morning. We have seen as many as eight sharks comfortably cuddling in dreamland.

On some dives, we may be lucky enough to find a pygmy seahorse tucked in a fan coral. This miniscule creature is the size of my fingernail and blends in with the color of its home.

Two more sites worth taking the plunge for are only a few minutes away from Malapascua, Lighthouse and Evolution House Reef. Lighthouse, frequented for sunset dives, is the habitat of the mating Mandarinfish. The name Mandarinfish was inspired by its pigment-containing and light-reflecting cells, giving them vibrant

80

colors like robes of the Imperial Chinese mandarin.

Divelink. One dive is about P1,200 with an additional P500 for gear rental.

Evolution House Reef is a haven for underwater photographers. The shallow and sandy patch is home to seahorses, shrimps, crabs, cuttlefish, sea wasps, and flounders. The site was named after the dive shop that takes care of it.

When the boys and I don’t have a big budget for meals, we walk to Ging- ging’s, which serves the best bang-for-buck carbonara at P65. When we want to “splurge” on a P300 meal, we head to Angelina’s, where the pizza, calzone, and panna cotta are at par with genuine Italian cuisine.

Island living Evolution Diving Resort is one of my favorite places on the island. The foreign owners, Matt and David, are like honorary Filipinos who initiate projects for the community and environment.

Evolution has onsite accommodations and a popular bar and restaurant, Craic House (pronounced “crack”). Order whatever special is on the board; no dish has ever disappointed me.

When I’m not in Evolution, underwater, or meeting with stakeholders for the project, I can be found with the dive guides of

There’s electricity and wireless Internet to keep Malapascua’s visitors connected, but no cars, tall structures, or banks. The highlight of my day is when I sit on the balcony, alone or with the Divelink guides, and watch the sun sink into the sea. The sky turns into a palette of oranges, pinks, and reds, dissolving whatever worries consume you during the day.

Truth be told, there isn’t much to do in Malapascua except dive, eat, sleep, and dive some more. And that, perhaps, is the beauty of the island.

Pinoy Entrepreneur

JAY ALONZO

Key Lite Studio Abu Dhabi

M

ore than being a gifted photographer and a good photo instructor, Jay Alonzo is a successful Pinoy entrepreneur. He owns the Abu Dhabi-based Key Lite Studio, which provides professional photography services for commercial and corporate use.

Jay says he already wanted to have his own business when he was just a college student at the De La Salle University, but financial reward was not the original reason why he aspired for it. “At first I just saw it as a glamorous thing to be in, to be called the boss and owner of your own firm. Slowly, I realized that one cannot become rich by just being an employee in the Philippines,” he says.

However, he also notes that it is unfortunate that high school seniors are encouraged to take courses that would get them white-collar jobs, with an underlining disdain for blue-collar ones. “Even now, when Filipinos go abroad to seek better pastures, we often say ‘we flew out to get a better job.’ But rare is it for someone who would say ‘I flew out to open a business abroad.’ That is why we have become a country of OFWs.”

The lens man was determined to become a businessman even as a college freshman and got into photography while trying to set-up a tourism venture in his province, Cagayan Valley. “Unfortunately and fortunately, I got waylaid into photography. I got into it because I had to learn how to take photos of the potential tourist spots in my province.” Alonzo shares that his former classmates referred him to magazines, which were in need of a contributing photographer. After that, more photography jobs came and he had to eventually decide which to focus on.

Sticking with photography, he retells that he started with just a Ricoh KR5 that his aunt gave him. “Whatever I earned, I invested it back into the business by buying only those that are absolutely essential in improving my craft.”

With such a strategy, he was able to complete his darkroom and studio from his earnings. More fortunate for him was that he was able to penetrate the movie industry. His works were used to promote films like Mano Po 3 and Sigaw.

Despite his success in the Philippines, there was a more pressing concern. Jay had to take a leap of faith to move to the UAE, to join his accountant wife who was not keen on the idea of moving back home. Admittedly, Jay was apprehensive about how the foreign market will respond to the kind of service he will offer. Still he bit the bullet and moved to the UAE. As an overseas Filipino investor and with an AED100,000 capital, he established Key Lite in January 2012.

So far, things have been looking good.

Alonzo says that his business had a surprisingly good start. Already, Key Lite has been able to bag clients such as Al Taif

of the Mubadalla group and Turner and Townsend Abu Dhabi and Dubai. The workshops his business offers are also doing well, benefitting from promotion via social media promotion and word of mouth.

Striving to become the employer and not the employee is really a good decision for Jay. He says, “Being an entrepreneur is not just potentially financially rewarding, but it also offers an opportunity for you to create your legacy.”

However, he also highlights the responsibility of being the employer to make the business work, since the employees are depending on you for survival. “But to see your employee being able to send money regularly back home and be able to buy stuff he or she once dreamed of buying, that is one of the most wonderful feelings I get as a boss,” he adds.

Jay also says that if you want to be the boss, you have to learn to love the business by making sure that Iife’s your passion. ”If you are only in it for the money, remember the economy is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs. At the first down turn, I’m sure you’ll be bolting your way out of it, without giving it a chance; plus the fact that you’ll be losing money because of costly mistakes.”

Furthermore, the photographer advises against going business with friends just because you are friends. Bad business deals and money conflicts might ruin friendships.

Instead, if you insist or need a partner, get someone who will complement you.

Lastly, he advises to start early, when there are no responsibilities to think of when entering risky ventures. But if you are already married, Jay discourages involving the spouse in the business. He says that to be on the safe side, it is better to have one partner in a stable job—in case of unforeseen events.

ILLUSTRADO 81

By Francisco and Mary Ann Colayco

“MARRIAGE, INC. ” Relationships based on love The best relationships are based on love at any time of the year and I am not only talking of the romantic love we usually celebrate in February. As we all know, there are many kinds of love.

I like the Bible Study that condenses love to four types: 1) physical love (sexual) 2) supportive (caring) love 3) friendship (supportive) love 4) Supreme (God) love

82

The last thing we think about when we talk about love is money. But really, lack of capability to manage money is one of the big reasons why most of the different types of love fall apart. Except of course, Supreme love, where the “Almighty God” or whatever name you call Him in your religion, will always accept and forgive

us. With Him, money does not matter.

However, since we would want to live a life worthy of our God, we will have to deal with money. Notice that those who have money have a choice to spend their time doing good and paying homage to God. Those who are working very hard to make ends meet unfortunately forget or can’t find

kabuhayan - money

dating and especially when you become more serious with your partner. Of course, you should not be so obvious as to ask direct questions immediately. Your friend might just run away from you as quickly as possible! You can just be observant first on how your friend spends and behaves with money. As you become closer and more serious, you can find ways of understanding how your friend budgets and manages his/ her money. Again you don’t want to be so obvious. Just be more observant.

When you have decided that you can really live with your friend as a partner for life, be very sure that money matters are something that you are both comfortable discussing before even making a decision to get married.

time to attend to their spiritual concerns.

Everything starts from the family and bringing up children with the right money attitude. This does not happen overnight.

Families who can talk about money naturally are more likely to understand each other better and stay grounded. Parents and their children have to develop this ability. Parents develop this ability from the moment they meet each other as single persons to be friends and to eventually enter marriage.

Whether you are male or female, think about this even from the time that you start

You need to be more specific about your “money relationship”, once you are engaged.

Some couples think they can just talk about it after they are married. I disagree. You should already be honest with each other’s finances as you plan your wedding. In some cases, parents may still pay for the wedding.

However, this should not matter. You both need to understand your money values as you make your wedding budget. If you can see that you have opposite ideas on money management, you may want to re-think getting married and save yourselves a lot of heartaches.

You need to set your budget as a couple.

Among the matters that you need to be open about to make a meaningful budget are: your sources of income, the kinds of expenses that you would classify as needs and wants, the spending limits for each type, who manages the money, who makes the final decisions, and issues on help to extended family. Agree on what would be “mine”, “yours” and “ours.”

You need to set your goals on: the number of children you want, the kind of

education needed, the kind of lifestyle you expect, vacations, kind of car and house you expect, loans and borrowings, and investing.

The directions on money matters for your marriage could sound so cold and professional like you are entering into a business partnership. In truth, the financial part of marriage can be viewed as a corporation. The husband and wife are the original stockholders of “Marriage, Inc”.

“Marriage, Inc.” also employs them as Chief Executive/Operating Officer and Chief Financial Officer. They need to grow the company to be profitable through the proper management of income and expenses. They should learn to utilize their profits and grow it further through proper investments.

They can have members of their extended family who need help as the company’s “CSR or Corporate Social Responsibility.”

They must remember as part of their CSR philosophy that they cannot share what they do not have.

They can have apprentices (their children) whom they have to teach to take over their company. They can start the apprenticeship at a very early age. They have to prepare for their own retirement from “Marriage, Inc.” by setting up their retirement fund.

There will be clashes of ideas and management style but all of these can be objectively discussed to reach a mutually beneficial agreement. Whatever you wish to call it, marriage should be first and foremost, a union of two people in love and with mutual respect. Put everything in perspective and try to approach financial issues with as little emotion as possible.

With these in mind, “Marriage Inc.” should turn out to be a top-earner in all realms.

ILLUSTRADO 83

ONE LOVE Photography

By Bernadette Reyes

The business of document ing the celebrat ion of love and its promise of new beginnings.

Weddings are a celebration of new beginnings. For Ray and Lot Abalos, their wedding three years ago was more than just the beginning of a new of life together; it was also the beginning of what they hope to be a lifelong business.

With their own wedding as inspiration, Ray and Lot put together a wedding photo and video coverage business. The couple partnered with seasoned photographer Carlo Zamora and put up One Love Photography.

The team put up roughly Php2 million at the outset, bulk of which was utilized for the purchase of camera and accessories.

84

“We invested heavily on quality equipment even if it cost us a lot,” says Lot, marketing head for One Love Photography.

the end of the day we feels it’s worth the time and money because then we are able to improve our service,” Lot explains.

Three years after the business began in 2010, the team has already recouped their investment, but they continue to upgrade their equipment. “We recently purchased a new crane and new cameras which we intend to use for our future coverage,” Lot says.

A two-day training under renowned photographer Manny Librodo for example costs Php16,000. They also plan to send members of their team for further training overseas. “This gives our people confidence about their skills and their work. At the same time, it gives us credibility whenever we market our service to clients.”

To make sure the equipment is put to good use, the photographers and the videographers undergo regular workshops and seminars to enhance their skills. “We pay for the trainings they undergo but at

The team initially planned to cater to budget clients, but they realized they have to expand their clientele to survive in the industry. Today One Love Photography

kabuhayan - entrepreneurship

caters to budget and premier clients.

Their budget package is usually pegged at Php70,000 while their premium service costs up to Php120,000. When customers inquire, they are usually offered the standard package, but One Love can also customize packages depending on the client’s budget and preferences.

Given the tight competition among wedding photographers and videographers these days, One Love Photography is actively promoting its service through various channels. “We started booking clients through referral from friends and family members until we were able to come up with a portfolio to present,” says Lot. Satisfied with their output, the team joins bridal fairs to reach to a wider customer base. However, while expositions are a good opportunity to showcase their work given the foot traffic it draws, a bridal fair may not always be a worthwhile endeavor. “Joining a bridal fair may cost up to Php60,000 for a two-day event. Sometimes you book clients, sometimes, you don’t,” Lot warns.

Fortunately for One Love Photography, their quality service and positive feedback from clients has brought in a steady stream

of customers. “Before there were months when we didn’t have any clients, today we are able to book four to six weddings every month,” shares Lot. At the same time, the team does a careful balancing act to makes sure they do not overbook clients which could result in poor quality of service. “We limit the number of weddings we accept in a day to make sure we are able to focus on our client’s needs.”

With many businesses offering the same service these days, One Love Photography makes sure they stand out. Quality service, says Lot, is their mantra. “I’m very handson. In fact I critique the works of our photographers and videographers before

we send our final output to clients.”

One Love Photography posts the photos and videos they have produced on Facebook and on its website www.onelovephotograpy. com.ph. They are delighted to hear from satisfied clients and have received quite a number of positive reviews and praises from random visitors on their site. These remarks encourage them to strive more to make every wedding coverage as memorable and successful as possible. “We know we have a lot of competition out there, but we know One Love [Photography] will last because we love what we do as a couple and as business partners,” Lot concludes.

ILLUSTRADO 85

How do you love?

By BO SANCHEZ

LOVE. We have heard the word a million times.

We have been told a billion times to love God, love your fellowmen, and love yourself. And we have tried to love God, our fellowmen, and ourselves a trillion times.

So why am I asking, “How do you love?”

Because in my over 30 years of ministry, I have observed that many don’t know how to love. And it is because they have wrong concepts of love, marriage and relationships, even sex.

This is why I founded the online Family Reborn Club, where I share with couples my family life experiences and those of the people I’ve counseled. I have also coached couples on how to enhance their marriage, keep their love burning, and their

86

marriage intact. I send them the Family Reborn newsletter to remind them of the practical ways to express their love to their spouses.

The key word is repetition–to keep repeating to yourself and to your spouse your commitment to love each other. Repetition is also the key to be successful in your other passions like career or your ministry.

But let me talk here about loving–the passionate kind.

A husband once told me, “Bo, I wish my marriage will be as great as yours ten years from now.”

Now I repeat to you what I told him, “Don’t wish. Decide.”

I have kept my marriage intact for over 10 years because ages ago, when I was still single, I dreamed of having a great marriage.

I have this list of 50 dreams and in my

prayer time every day, I read those dreams to remind me of my promise to fulfill them.

One of those dreams is to be a loving husband, so I’ve taken steps toward this goal. I am not perfect. I have weaknesses and flaws. Even so, I have decided to give my wife the best.

Give the best I had also said in previous articles that I have a weekly one-on-one date with my wife, Marowe. It is non-negotiable. I’d only break the date if the President of the United States or the Pope called me for some advice on how we can stop the world from ending.

Seriously, the reason couples drift apart is because they don’t prioritize making their marriage work. Let me zero in one sensitive topic that many don’t touch: sex in marriage.

We know that spouses go astray, go look for sex somewhere else because after the honeymoon period, they no longer enjoy

Spirituality’ sex with each other.

That’s because people think good sex is the sleazy kind. If you look at movies, television shows and porn magazines, you’d think the most exciting sex happens in adulterous affairs, one-night-stands, and premarital sex. But this is a big fat lie.

In a huge survey done by the University of Chicago where researchers interviewed 3,400 persons, the results were surprising.

The verdict is out. The most fulfilling sex, most satisfying sex, most enjoyable sex, most pleasurable sex, and most thrilling sex in the world is… married monogamous sex.

Sex with your spouse is good-- because that’s how God intended it to be. My reference is Ephesians 5:31: A man leaves his father and mother is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

God created husbands and wives as sexual beings.

No wonder God tells us to have sex only in marriage. Because He wanted us to have the best.

‘But Bo, That’s Not What I Experience!’

I can hear you now. Some are saying, “Bo, that’s not what’s happening to me. My spouse and I have zero sex life.”

Don’t fret. You’re not alone. There are many marriages right now that are going through the same.

Before I delve into the reasons why the state of your sex life is zero, I’d like to ask you a big question: Do you want to have great sex life in your marriage?

If this isn’t your goal, then it’s useless to talk about it.

Make this your goal. Draw a vision.

Imagine this dream. The most important thing you can do right now is picture in your mind what kind of marriage you want. Imagine also what kind of sexual relationship you’ll have in your marriage.

As a married couple, you can experience great sex.

God Loves Great Intimacy Yes, it’s true! You want proof?

The Bible says, Rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe and a graceful deer– let her breasts satisfy you at all times. Be captivated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be captivated with an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another? (Proverbs 5:18-20) God invented sex. In the same way that He created the mountains and the seas, the stars and the galaxies, He also created sex. And according to Genesis, He surveyed what He created, patted Himself on the back, and said, “My golly gee, that is good!”

The Most Common Reason Intimacy Isn’t Great Here’s the truth: Most sexual problems are relational problems.

After being married for over 10 years, I’ve realized one very important thing.

Sex is a small part of marriage. Marriage is about so many other things. It is about intimacy, commitment, affection, respect, responsibility, parenting, planning, dialogue, laughter, vacations, birthdays, jobs, loans, insurance, tuition fees, leaking roofs, second-hand cars, and so on and on.

But sex, even if it’s not a big part of your marriage, is like the thermometer of your relationship. If you have a great relationship, most likely, you’ll have great sex. If you have a poor relationship, most likely, you’ll have poor sex. There are other valid reasons for having sexual problems in your marriage. But I believe sex is 90 percent accurate in reflecting the quality of your relationship.

Are You a Great Lover?

I’m not talking about knowing 238 sexual positions or knowing kama sutra sexual techniques.

You’re a great lover if you meet your partners’ sexual needs. Don’t let sex be about you. Sex should be about your

At the end of the day, being a great lover is all about selflessness, kindness, and tenderness.

It’s about good oldfashioned values that make a marriage work. spouse. And as you forget about your own needs and focus on giving pleasure to your spouse, you’ll receive the deepest fulfillment.

At the end of the day, being a great lover is all about selflessness, kindness, and tenderness. It’s about good old-fashioned values that make a marriage work.

May your dreams come true.

ILLUSTRADO 87

Kings and Queens of

Maarts, er, Hearts

B

race yourselves for that crazy month when everyone is only too excited/free to put on the bloodiest red get-up, splurge on heartshaped chocolate bouquets with cutesy teddy bears, and croon David Pomeranz or Air Supply tracks. Curtain up, lights out, the peak of Pinoy romance drama is on!

(Duck to the nearest hideout, Valentine Scrooges.)

And since we can’t really do anything about it other than sit back, relax, and “enjoy” the show, let’s just get to know our kababayan couples possessed by this crazy little thing called love. Though you sometimes drive the rest of us insane, it’s you lovers who make the world beat a little more wildly.

Happy V-Day!

Fairy Tale She’s pretty and prim. He’s attractive and

88

affluent. Both are smart, kind, and wellloved by everybody. They’re the perfect pair, a match made in heaven, the role models, an object of envy. Enough, you’re turning green already.

Ultimate Cheesy Overload Using “Snookums” or “pancakes” for terms of endearment is vomit-inducing enough.

But to download the “Bebe ko!” ringtone and to have your own Maria Theresa Leonora baby doll?! Um, that’s taking it to the PBB Teens level. But if these guys are happy being the next Kimerald, so be it.

Under and Kumander Her wish is his command 24/7—or she’d put Rambo to shame if he didn’t follow her orders: do the laundry, cook meals, tidy the house, carry the shopping bags etc. We therefore conclude he’s got to be under her

spell because he’s certainly under de saya.

Long-Distance/ Virtual Lovers They’re miles away and time zones apart.

They chat through Viber and date via Skype. He sends her emoticons for hugs and kisses. She sends him free e-Cards on their anniversary. Sigh. Someday, they’ll finally hold hands while walking, may pasway-sway pa. Promise.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. “We’re just friends,” this couple would say as if they were from showbiz, ambisyosa!

But everyone knows—that is, except them—that friends DON’T exchange sweet nothings on the phone every hour or meet up every weekend or get jealous over a celebrity crushie. Someone pinch them, please.

onli in da pilipins

You and Me against the World He’s filthy rich. She’s plain filthy due to poverty. He’s a bad boy. She’s the next candidate for sainthood. He’s a sparkling vampire. She’s a pale mortal. They say opposites attract, but not everyone agrees.

So, it’s them vs. us. You know the storyline.

Primetime Bida Calling the giant networks! This pair deserves their own timeslot for all the drama they painfully subject their family and friends to—and they’re not even as kakilig as Daniel and Katerina. They scream, swear, sob, and split up only to reunite the following day. They’re that suicidal.

Bizarre Love Triangle It can’t get more bizarre than when the third party is the biyenan, the mother-inlaw who relentlessly meddles in this couple’s affairs for probably lack of telenovelas worth looking forward to. But if JohnMarsha and Enteng-Faye endured the insults of Donya Delilah and Ina Magenta, so can they.

The Love Triangle/Square/Polygon It’s a huge Quiapo out there and countless ladies are pretty good at snatching partners—especially if he’s a Derek Ramsey clone. It doesn’t matter if the official partner is as hot as Christine Reyes/ Anne Curtis/ Angelica Panganiban/<insert female lead star in the next kabit movie>, he’s “only human.” Bleah.

The Online Umalohokans TMI (Too Much Information) about their relationship and what-not? Blame it on these modern-day town criers for flooding social media with love life tidbits that we boring people apparently should know.

So, we’re updated on Facebook when they fight and patch up (status change from “in

a relationship” to “single”) or how they spend their time together (pictures of them with bare shoulders and no, they’re not on the beach). We’re not spared from their romantweets on Twitter (“I want to bleep your armpits”) or of their blow-by-blow 15th monthversary celebration footage on YouTube either. Kayo na!

Actions Speak Louder than Words Yes, they really do since this couple is all over each other for the entire world to see.

Kiss and Tell This dynamic duo shares the same interests with the couple above. Something sets them apart, though. They have a goal: to keep a video journal of their exploits with a camera phone, which one of them will most likely share online once the big, bad breakup happens.

Age Doesn’t Matter If Dolphy and Zsa-zsa did it, why won’t this pair? So what if he was born too early and she was born too late? (Enter Kahit Konting Pagtingin for background music.) True love is timeless. Plus, as the old folks would say, only carabaos grow old.

The Classic Both gray-haired and past their prime, they sit next to each other on the bench under the lush mango tree. He’s telling a story while she’s laughing quietly. How you wish they’d soon render a duet of “Grow Old with You” ala Rogelio dela Rosales and Carmen Rosales. Awww.

The One Sure, there’s just you and your pet dog/cat/ snake/goldfish maybe. But there’s something else that deserves to be celebrated, too. Your one and only relationship with yourself. It’s irreplaceable, so party hard in the name of love, love, love!

ILLUSTRADO 89

Illustrado Faces Prizes courtesy of

LEA MARTINEZ Photographer: Richard Viray

ILLUSTRADOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CHOICE ILLUSTRADO 90

Illustrado Faces Prizes courtesy of

DISAYREY SAYAT Photographer: Flariden dela Torre

PEOPLEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CHOICE ILLUSTRADO 91

Illustrado Faces Scrapbook

To join the Illustrado Faces competition, check out Illustrado Magazine on Facebook.

Subject: Cookie Waga Photographer: Dawn Almario

Subject: Emelie Echalar Photographer: Andy Gozon

Subject: Ines Arian Photographer: Richie Nacu

Subject: Jay Em Trans Photographer: Kenneth Sadora

Subject: Kian McBride Photographer: Eros Goze ILLUSTRADO 92

Subject: Jonah Balangatan Photographer: Aaron James Balangatan

Illustrado Faces

Subject: Justin Francisco Photographer: Maricone Altuna

Subject: Melen Dela Cruz Photographer: Ron S. Margallo

Subject: Nadezna Zambrano Photographer: Yvette Nolasco

Subject: Rosiely Ann Bragado Photographer: Ruth Lyn Marquez

Subject: Raquel Amansec Photographer: Paolo De Guzman

Subject:Mitch Umali Photographer: Allan Saflor ILLUSTRADO 93

Get ILLUSTRADO

The Magazine for the International Filipino

AT A STORE NEAR YOU!

UNITED ARAB EMIRATES ABU DHABI & AL AIN

Abela Al Ain, Abu Dhabi Airport Lobby and Airport Transit areas, Abu Dhabi Coop Society – Khalifa, Hamdan, Meena and Buteen branches, Al Ain Palace Hotel, Albert Abela Superstore, Al Atial Novelty Store – INTCO and Rotana branches, All Prints, Bookplus Store - Al Ain, Books Gallery, Carrefour – Abu Dhabi Airport Road, Marina Mall and Al Ain branches, Hilton Abu Dhabi, Limar Bookshop, Milan Gifts, Raouat Al Reef - Al Ain, Sana Modern Trading, Spinney’s Khalidiya, United Bookstores and Westzone Trading * Distributed FREE to Meritus Club Members

DUBAI & NORTHERN EMIRATES

Asia Pacific Cargo – Karama, Books Gallery – Jumeirah, Mall of the Emirates and Sahara Center branches, Carrefour – Ajman, Century Mall, Deira City Center, Mall of the Emirates, Sharjah, Shindagha, Ras Al Khaimah, Choitrams - Emirates Hills, Green Community, the Greens, Rashidiya, Safa Park, Springs and Umm Suqueim, CM Supermarket, Karama, Dubai Airport Duty Free Shops, Geant Hypermarket - Ibn Battuta Mall, Hyper Panda - Dubai Festival City, Jashanmal - Caribou Uptown Mirdiff and Wafi City, Magrudy Bookshop - Deira City Center and Ibn Battuta Mall branches, News Centre - Deira City Center, DIFC, Mall of the Emirates and Sahara Center branches, Philippine Supermarket – Satwa, Spinneys - Al Ghurair Center, Bin Souqat, Meadows Town Centre, Mercato, Mirdiff, Prime Rose, Ramada Bur Dubai and Trade Center Rd. Bur Dubai branches

BAHRAIN

24 Hours – Al Hamala, Al Zahra Avenue, Busaiteen Muharra and Hoora branches, Al Batra Supermarket, Al Fahad Cold Store – Zallaq, Al Ghadeer Foodstuff – Al A’ali, Al Hilal Administration – Sheraton Complex, Al Jazira Supermarket – Zinj, Adliya and Juffair branches, Al Mena Supermarket – Adliya, Al Shahd Market – Hamad Town, Buheji Center – Budaiya, City Pharmacy – Sitra Mall, Dairaty Market – Duraz, Evershine Supermarket – Rifa’a, Geant Hypermarket – Manama, Hamad Town Supermarket, Hassan Mahmood Cold Store – Opp. Awal Cinema, Hidd Co-Op Society, Jassim Markets – Busaiteen Muharra, Jawad Convenience Stores – Budaiya, Jawad Express Bapco Station – Seef, Jawad Supermarket – Nuwaidarat Sitra, Kaifan Cold Stores – Hamad Town, Little Kingdom Cold Stores – Manama, Manayer Supermarket – Awali, Midway Supermarket – Hamala, Muharraq, West Rifa’a and Gudaibiya branches, Muntaza Supermarket – Muharraq, Muntaza Supermarket – Sitr Muharraqa, The News Stationery – Manama, Universal Food Center – Rifa’a

QATAR

Ahlan Wassahlan Bookshop, Alam Al Agziya – Landmark, Al Aaela Shopping Centre- Al Nasr, Airport and Al Rayan branches, Al Madina Supermarket, Al Mustaqbal Bookshop, Al Qalam Bookshop, Al Usra Bookshop, Al Waha Marketing Centre, Daheel Food Centre, Dar Al Oroouba Bookshop, Dar Al Thaqafa Al Kitab and Al Nasr, Dasman Hypermarket, Dasman Shopping Centre, Jarir Bookshop, Jehaz Bookshop Al Mansoora, Khayat Fitwell, Lamcy Supermarket, Lulu Al Sharq, Megamart Centre, Newsstand Landmark, Rawabi Food Centre, Strand Bakery, Supermarket Al Taif Al Nasr and Supermarket Sak Illustrado magazine is sold in over 150 outlets around the Gulf, including

Oman and Kuwait.