Is Travelling the Best Compatibility Test? By Harriet Rothwell-Inch Design by Alfie Johnson
Compatibility is massively important in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. You want to ensure that yours and your partner’s interests align to minimise stress and avoid potential conflict. That goes for every aspect of your life, from your core values all the way to your travel ideals. Travel is one of the many ways people test their relationship compatibility, and it truly can be a makeor-break situation. I’ve heard horror stories of decades-long relationships deteriorating after one ill-fated trip abroad; the catalyst for the breakdown being anything from the type of accommodation booked and food available, to people not respecting budgeting differences and boundaries. Sometimes it’s even something as simple as holiday style and destination!
Lifestyle
Well, if loving the same type of travel is the ultimate measure of compatibility in a relationship, then my boyfriend and I are as incompatible as they come.
If I had it my way, I would be travelling to a different European city each month and taking long weekend city breaks. I would have a jam-packed itinerary of all the cultural hotspots, and a list of cute, artisan cafes and bars to visit, and I’d be out from sun up to sun down exploring that city until my feet fell off. To me, travelling is about discovering new places and making the most of being somewhere you’ve never been before. If I’m not packing in as much as I possibly can into my trip, then I’m not making the most of it – and who knows when I’ll next get to travel again?
“To me, travelling is about discovering new places and making the most of being somewhere you’ve never been before.”
11
Scott, my boyfriend, is the polar opposite. He loves his rest and relaxation and he would gladly spend three weeks straight lounging in the sun on the beach or at a resort by the pool, reading, napping and occasionally going for a dip. If there are any activities planned at all, he’d prefer that they be spread out between his days of R&R, although he’s not unwilling to do more intensive days, especially if it’s an activity he’s really excited about! To him, holidays are primarily about slowing right down and taking time for yourself to fully unwind.
“To him, holidays are primarily about slowing right down and taking time for yourself to fully unwind.”
I won’t deny that these differences have led to some pretty intense disagreements over the course of our relationship, both when planning our travels and when we’re already on holiday. To be honest, one of the main disagreements we have on holiday is about where and when we get food. Does this mean we’re doomed to fail? I think the fact we’ve been together for 10 years says otherwise. What it does mean, is that we’ve learned to communicate our needs so that we can both enjoy ourselves when we’re travelling together.
