LESSON 1.1.2: Self-esteem

2. Keep a journal

Take time to write about your thoughts and feelings, your successes and failures of the day. This self-reflection will help you grow and move forward to reach your goals. While reflecting, also try to think about the possible impact of your emotions and actions on other people.

3. Write down your goals and priorities

Learners must formulate their goals very clearly and specifically when designing their personal development plan.

• What are your goals? • How should you prioritise to reach these goals? • What are you doing that is not working and preventing success? • What needs to change in order to improve the rate of success in achieving goals?

Discuss with learners how self-esteem, self-worth, self-respect and personal values go hand in hand. Refer to the rating of their own appearances and the impact of what they believe about themselves. Having a positive and realistic view about yourself is better for maintaining meaningful relationships.

Features of a healthy self-esteem Features of a low self-esteem

• A realistic view of your own potential and that of others. • A realistic feeling of self-confidence. • Easily expresses needs. • Aware of strengths and weaknesses and accepting them. • A positive outlook on life. • Accepts failure as part of life. • Moves past negative experiences. • Accepts compliments with grace. • Capable of saying ‘no’ without difficulty. • The belief that others are better than yourself. • Struggling with self-confidence. • Difficulty in expressing needs. • Focuses only on weaknesses. • A general negative view of life. • An intense fear of failure. • Dwells on past negative experiences. • Often experiences feelings of shame, depression and anxiety. • Struggles to accept compliments. • Finds it very difficult to say ‘no’.

The impact of social media on self-esteem

This area explores the main influences of social media on self-esteem. Most learners are not aware that social media has a continuous effect on how they feel during the day and how these emotions can culminate to impact their own self-esteem and emotional wellbeing.

Social media comparison

Make learners aware of the dangers of comparing these glamourous but often false images of an exciting lifestyle on Facebook with their own lives and the effects on their self-image and well-being. A virtual lifestyle is by no means a realistic lifestyle. Their own lives might not be as boring as they think.

Sense of belongingness

Discuss with learners that they do not have to avoid social media altogether, but that it is also dangerous to rely only on this for a sense of belongingness. They must try other ways of feeding a sense of belongingness like joining a club or group with shared interests.

Make them aware that they might experience feelings of FOMO and FOBLO and suggest ideas of how to deal with this void. They can also suggest their own solutions.

Discuss cyberbullying and how to deal with it.

FOR THE CURIOUS

Learners must read the following article. It provides statistics and data on the use of social media. The purpose of analysing this data is to determine how much time they spend on social media and how it impacts not only their emotional well-being, but also their relationships. They must see how much time they waste when they could have done something more interesting, e.g. sport, visiting friends, etc.

Read the article on the average daily time spent on social media around the world at bit.ly/3s1lvla

How to build my own self-esteem

Discuss the value of a healthy self-esteem and encourage learners to start implementing the following for building a healthy self-esteem.

A healthy self-esteem is essential to be a happy and successful person. There are certain things that you can do to build and improve your own self-esteem.

• Stop being your own biggest critic. Start to listen to the way you talk to yourself. There is no use in breaking yourself down. Make a definite decision to stop doing that. • Make a list of all the great traits you have and everything that you have already accomplished. • Gracefully accept compliments. • Stop comparing yourself to others. Be proud of who you are. • Do not aim for perfection. Nobody is perfect. • Appreciate what makes you unique and what sets you apart from others. • Develop a positive mindset. Often repeat the following to yourself: ○ I love and accept myself ○ I believe in myself ○ I value and respect myself (Ackerman, 2020)