Photo illustration by Peter trinh by Imprint Publications

Photo illustration by Peter Trinh

News

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

“If you’re reading this ... SMILE!” Family and friends pay tribute in loving memory to UW student Zafrin Khandani on the date of his convocation ceremony.

Butterflies from my brother

Courtesy of Hanif Kalyan sadru khandani

Courtesy of Shazin Karim

Mathew Hurford, a friend, sings during the unveiling of the “Tree of Peace” outside MC, commemorating Zafrin Khandani’s life. Tahira Rahemtulla reporter

The 20th of October, 2007 was an auspicious day for many students, not only because of convocation weekend, but because students payed their last respects to a beloved friend and esteemed classmate: Zafrin Khandani. Zafrin was a student at the University of Waterloo and was involved in a fatal accident on campus during the summer, where he died as a result of a fall from the rooftop of a Village 1 residence. A math student in his last year, Zafrin was not what you would

call a typical senior student; while he was focused on his work, he also participated in many extracurricular activities, and never shied away from offering a helping hand. Zafrin, lovingly called Zaf by family and friends, was a close friend and brother to many people, including his professors. Aly Somani, a close friend of Zaf ’s, explained that Zafrin had a huge impact on his life by teaching him to love: “Love without hesitation, love without fear, love with a free will.” Zafrin will always be remembered for his positive and empowering attitude, which he was always trying to spread to others.

Courtesy of Ziya Khandani

In Zafrin’s honour, a tree, named the Tree of Peace, was planted outside the math and computers building next to the Student Life Centre. A large rock is placed in front of the tree which bears a plaque with his picture. At 11:00 a.m. on the day of the 20th, a hundred or so people gathered around the tree to pay their last respects to Zaf. Amidst strong gusts of winds accompanied by blasts of cold air, Zafrin’s parents, Sadru and Neyla Khandani, and their daughter, Ziya Khandani, unveiled the rock and presented the Tree of Peace. The rock was covered with a flag bearing Superman’s emblem in tribute to Zaf, who was an avid fan of all things Superman — several people in the audience paid personal homage to this by wearing Superman T-shirts. Following the unveiling, Ziya, a current student at UW, placed a bouquet of flowers at the base of the tree. Professors David Taylor of the mathematics department and Meena Sharify-Funk of the religious studies department each presented a speech about Zafrin, along with a couple of Zaf ’s favourite poems shared by Sharify-Funk. To close the ceremony, Matthew Hurford, a close friend and classmate of Zaf ’s, sang a song he wrote in his friend’s memory. In addition to the tree that was planted, Zafrin was granted an honourary degree, which his sister Ziya accepted during his commencement. Later in the evening, friends and

family gathered in MC to share memories of Zafrin. The evening began with a video Zafrin had made in his last year at UW for one of his religious studies classes, followed by dinner and a slideshow of Zaf ’s pictures, prepared by friends. To finish off the formalities of the evening, Ziya made a speech about her memories of Zaf and her gratitude to her many supporters. A group of Zafrin’s friends, Alykhan Jinnah, Adnan and Hussein Ebrahim, Imran Mamdani, Aleem Ladak and Ahwaz Chagani, reminisced over memories they had all shared with Zaf. “Zafrin lived to help others. Other’s happiness gave him happiness. Being his friends, we were able to see the true humanist that he was,” they said. Due to the impact that Zafrin had on so many lives and to which they owe their inspiration, many people have realized Zafrin’s dream of being able to make a difference in the lives of others and attempt to carry this light forward. Farhad Shariff, another close friend, mentioned that Zaf “essentially transformed me into the person I am today. He taught me the importance of friends and family.” Zafrin will always be cherished in the hearts of those who knew him and admired by those who will hear about him. “To many you were a great friend, to some you were a great conversation, to me,” said Aly, “you were my rock.” As Zafrin listed as his instant messenger screen name, “If you’re reading this... SMILE!”

“When I went to visit him at his grave, I saw a white butterfly pass us by, and it was important to us because the night before we had gone to a session and learned that the soul is like a caterpillar struggling for survival. Once that soul has finished what it has come to do, it becomes free, like a butterfly. I know many of you already know this story but I just wanted to share it with all of you to try and explain something... So that day I asked Zaf that if that butterfly was a sign, that it may come and rest on my shoulder. That night I received a butterfly necklace from someone. I see them: white ones, white butterflies from time to time. But in the worst of times, I never see them; I started to wonder if it was all just a coincidence... So I went online and read Zaf ’s blog on signs. He had said this: ‘They’re everywhere... From the blatant ones (left turn, stop, a green light) to the not so obvious. These signs can be relevant to any part of your life even from school, to family, to friends and to relationships... they’re out there waiting to show you something. They say God gave us free will, and I agree — but I also know He loves us too much to not at least give us hints as to how to live happily. It’s as if He’s helping you cheat, but if you don’t listen ... it’s your loss!’ And that’s when I realized this: that in the worst of times, I have seen the best butterflies — not the white ones — but the colourful ones, the ones that call me every night, the ones that come home and bring me ice cream at one in the morning, ones that bring French vanilla coffee when I can’t study, or ones that sit with me and remember the good times with Zafrin. And today is a very special day indeed, as all of those butterflies are here, standing in this room — colourful and fluttering their wings about with their own unique style. So thank you my friends and my family for being those wings that have given us a shoulder to cry on, memories to laugh about and for spreading those wings and helping us reach a place that we could not on our own. Thank you.” — Ziya Khandani

News

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

UW in Abu Dhabi Narmeen Lakhani news editor

The University of Waterloo has been working toward a project for its first international campus to be located in the United Arab Emirates. “The project agreement has yet to go through board,” said Amit Chakma, vice-president academic and provost. When questioned on the motives for this project and on how long it has been developing, Chakma described the underlying goal of the university to “explore possibilities to expand internationally” for the past few years. At the moment, UW offers opportunities for students to study abroad and for international students to study here, but now the vision is to bring Waterloo to other countries. The project has been in discussion for approximately two years, with an initial suggestion to establish UW presence in Kuwait. Chakma discussed that there were several reasons for choosing the United Arab Emirates. One of these reasons is that UW receives a large number of applications annually from the UAE. Also, Chakma added that local universities in the UAE are restricted to “Emirates,” citizens of the UAE; a campus such as the prospective UW one is in high demand there as foreign national residents that do not fall into the restrictive category. The Centre of Excellence for Applied Research and Training (CERT), a group of companies in the United Arab Emirates is “the largest private education provider in the middle east,”

according to CERT’s website. The group is working in partnership with UW to plan the international campus. They will provide the local infrastructure for the campus in exchange for a share in the revenue that the university generates. The venture benefits them as a business because they can “promote themselves too,” according to Chakma, but it will also help the region become a “knowledge cluster” and attract research companies. At this stage of the planning, Chakma asserts that applications will be reserved for students in the UAE, rather than sending current UW students there to do an exchange. After two years, members of the UAE campus are required to come to Canada and finish their degree at the main campus here. They “will be UW students from the start and have UW degrees … we are not prepared to dilute our degrees,” so this is why the students must finish their requirements here, said Chakma. The expectation is to produce 200 graduates every year from the international campus, so the normal annual application process to UW will have to take that into consideration. Also, the students attending the UAE campus would pay full international tuition since the province of Ontario is not providing any funding for the project. The UAE branch of UW would be limited to programs in information technology and engineering. These programs are in the best interest of the university; they are “the programs we want to offer,” and we

“do not intend to do any more at this stage,” remarked Chakma. This trend seems to follow the basic rules of supply and demand for what will be successful in the UAE to produce “high quality students.” Faculty at the prospective international campus would be based in Waterloo, going to the UAE for periods of four or eight months to teach; this would mean hiring more faculty members, just not directly for the UAE campus. When asked what incentives professors would have to go teach across the world, Chakma mentioned the financial and other incentives: it is an exciting initiative, giving faculty the opportunity for an international experience. Chakma added, “our partner will accommodate” UW faculty at their expense, making that the financial incentive. The UAE campus would be competing with other universities already there, and many other reputable universities across the world are expected to begin establishment in the UAE as well. Queen’s University and the New York Institute of Technology are two such examples. Nevertheless, Chakma said that the project will “promote the Waterloo brand,” and having a “physical presence has an attraction” to increase the global recognition of UW. Tentatively, the campus will be located in Abu Dhabi with some expansion in Dubai, but ultimately nothing is final since the project is still waiting approval. nlakhani@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

UW Genocide Action Group to hold day-long conference Brandi Cowen staff reporter

The University of Waterloo Genocide Action Group will host its second annual conference on On Sunday, October 28. The event, titled The International Reaction to Genocide, will feature talks by speakers who have each experienced different aspects of genocide. “The purpose of the conference is to educate students and the general public about different aspects of genocide: the history of it, the media’s response to it, genocide denial, prosecuting war criminals, and the politics of investigating it,” explained Kristin Biefer, president of the UW Genocide Action Group. “We want people to learn about the ongoing crisis in Darfur, but to also realize that this latest genocide is but one of many.” According to Biefer: “Genocide is the worst crime against humanity. Genocidaires [perpetrators of genocide] kill people simply because of who they are — something they cannot change. It is a preventable crime though, and the more people know about it, the more chance there is of understanding how to stop it.” Toward the goal of educating people about genocide, the conference will offer many opportunities to learn more about the topic. Participants are invited to attend a series of talks by guest speakers, then conclude their day by participating in

one of the many discussion groups that will be formed. The discussion groups will provide participants with the opportunity to pose questions to the day’s speakers and to tackle some of the issues raised throughout the conference. To date, five guest speakers are slated to give talks at this year’s conference, including: • Debbie Bodkin, a detective with Waterloo Regional Police who has traveled to Chad to interview victims of the Darfur genocide. She was a member of the initial team that warned genocide was occurring in Sudan, in addition to being a member of the United Nations team that later concluded genocide was not occurring. Bodkin, who disagrees with the UN’s findings, will discuss her experiences in Darfur, including her involvement with both investigative teams. • Dr. Robert Jan van Pelt is a professor at UW’s School of Architecture in addition to being one of the leading authorities on the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz. He has also testified against the well-known Holocaust denier David Irving. At the conference, van Pelt will discuss genocide denial and his personal experiences with deniers. • David Larin, a retired RCMP officer that investigated war criminals in Rwanda. He will be discussing his experience conducting an investigation into the Rwandan genocide. See CONFERENCE, page 7

VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITY Student Life 101 Directors The Student Life 101 Committee is looking for enthusiastic, dedicated applicants for Student Life 101 Coordinator positions. Enhance your organizational, event management and leadership skills in an exciting team environment. Apply to become a member of our team today! Student Life 101 Directors are responsible for assisting in the planning of Student Life 101 including, recruitment and management of volunteers, communication with faculty and staff, as well as much more. Strong interpersonal and leadership skills are an asset. Students who will be in Waterloo during the spring term are preferred. Candidates must be available for the event on Saturday, July 19th, 2008. Successful candidates must be full time registered undergraduate students (including co-op) in good academic standing. Interested applicants are asked to submit a resume and cover letter to the Student Life Assistant by: Friday, November 9th, 2007

First and Second Year Students are encouraged to apply. For furthe r information please contact: Cora Dupuis, Student Life Coordinator: First-Year Experience 519-888-4567 Ext. 35643 e-mail: cedupuis@admmail.uwaterloo.ca

News

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

UW is tingling with green energy

Taylor Schnaeringer imprint intern

The University of Waterloo was abuzz this week as the Waterloo Institute for Sustainable Energy (WISE), previously known as the Green Energy Research Institute (GERI), got their Energy Days underway. Energy week was to showcase the profiles of energy researchers and enable the community to interact with UW through public lectures and showcases. UW itself is known as a leader in green energy research and innovation, with UW involvement in energy-related programs such as chemical engineering, mechanical engineering, electrical and computer engineering and environmental studies. Associate dean of research and external partnerships Michael Worswick said, “The idea of this week is to showcase the research development and teaching initiative or activity going on, on campus.” On Tuesday, October 13, Ontario’s Electricity Future: Opportunities and Challenges, was held at the Centre for International Governance Innovation (CIGI). Two guests came to speak: guest speaker Amir Shalaby and discussion moderator Dr. Jatin Nathwani, who is a professor in the faculties of engineering environmental studies and Ontario research chair in public policy and sustainable energy management. Shalaby, vice president of power system planning, has been involved with Ontario’s electricity industry for the last 30 years and has experience in power system operations, power system planning, demand management, transmission pricing, and regular affairs at Ontario Hydro. The public forum was a success with over 90 people showing up — most of them UW students. Nathwani, who officially became a part of UW September 1, set up a “very comprehensive set of multi-disciplinary research teams at the University of Waterloo — of people who are working in energy to build on problems and issues identified by offices, businesses, but also government agencies.” Tuesday’s discussion was focused on the challenges, energy wise, that Ontario is going to have

photos by jenn serec

Students interact with exhibits such as the Clean Snowmobile (right) on display during UW Energy Days’ open house in the DC. to face 20 years from now. “No one perspective or aspect of research can help resolve the issues and questions that often come either from businesses or the government,” said Nathwani. With the government planning to shut down all coal plants in Ontario by 2015 to reduce their environmental side effects, Nathwani believes there is going to be a great need for energy replacement. On the more human side of these problems, retirement also seems to be an issue. Nathwani believes that the demographic of people working in the industry are coming up for retirement and there are not enough people recruited to replace the masses they are going to lose. In order to solve some of these issues, “it is going to involve a three-or-five pronged idea, so you need to be flexible and adaptable about it,” said Nathwani. One of the primary driver solutions is the conservation of energy, as well as the use of renewable energy. “Renewable energy needs to be promoted on a much bigger scale

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then ever before.” There are some limitations of hydro-energy, such as the requirement of water; unfortunately only so much can be used, which is why wind energy is going to be used especially in Ontario more than ever before. The Energy day’s open house was hosted at the Davis Centre on Wednesday, October 24, with around 25 posters and exhibits, including ones from UW Clean Snowmobile, Midnight Sun, Challenge X and Wind Turbine. Thursday, October 25 was Hot Air: Meeting Canada’s Climate Change Challenge at the arts lecture hall. The speaker was Dr. Mark Jaccard, who is

CEO and chair of British Columbia Utilities Commission and develops and applies energy-economy models to review sustainable energy and materials policies. Other UW events that required registration took place Sunday, October 21 and Thursday, October 25. Sunday’s event was the third annual Green Energy Conference for Youth, which holds a unique student workshop for students from Grades 7 to 12. The workshop showed students residential and local conservation and feasibility of self-sufficient or partially self-sufficient homes and buildings. Thursday’s Waterloo Fuel

Cell Workshop was held in the Davis Centre as an all-day event, starting as early as 8:00 a.m. and running as late as 10:30 p.m. With guest speakers from UW, University of Windsor and University of Toronto, touching on topics like overall research programs and global energy solutions to fuel cells key components materials and characterization. “This week is first and foremost part of an out reach activity that is trying to reach the public, that shows the impact of more abundant and lower cost energy,” said Worswick. tschnaeringer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

News

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

UW tests TV offered through residence internet Mohammad Jangda staff reporter

“The timing is right … what better place to be than [Waterloo]?” Pushing into unchartered waters is no easy task, though. Despite the many challenges in the horizon, Sean Van Koughnett, director of UW Graphics, has high hopes for the project he has been charged with leading. The Media & Mobility Network Project (MMNP) is the University of Waterloo’s foray into the transformation of media and communications in the university environment, the first project of its kind in Canada. In an age where Facebook, Google, cell phones and other digital technologies are as much a part of a student’s life as basic necessities, UW wants to push the envelope, as the cliché goes, and further connect our already digital lives. The multi-tiered project hopes to explore various technological enhancements to student life. A pilot study is currently underway to test the feasibility of Internet Protocol Television (IPTV) in residence. Currently, seven senior staff from ResNet — UW’s in-residence, student-powered answer to the Geek Squad — have Freewire TV, an IPTV software, activated in their rooms which enables them to view 11 channels on their computers.

TV and computers have experienced a convergence recently, with watching of TV shows and movies on computers as a fairly common practice today, often delivered via the Internet — both legally and illegally. IPTV, therefore, would be unlikely to see much resistance, said Van Koughnett. This thought was echoed by Julian Novick and Daniel Zapallow, two students currently undergoing the trial. They were pleased with the quality, which matched, if not bettered, the quality found on analog TVs, and the ease of use. Additionally, the ability to address diversity and provide channels not usually available through the regular service providers such as Rogers Cable and Bell Express Vu, is a definite plus, they added. The solution was developed by the UK-based INUK Networks, which currently provides IPTV services to over 100,000 students in the UK, where necessity was more of a factor than anything else, according to Van Koughnett. Residences in UK universities are unable to provide cable or satellite services and with the phasing out of analog TV channels, IPTV was the natural transition. UW’s adoption of IPTV was more cost-driven, however. The MMNP initiative started a few years ago when Bud Walker, director of

business operations at UW, started exploring opportunities to improve spending on university projects — such as the largely unused cable outlets in residence rooms — and provide cost-effective services in residence that both students and university were spending money on. The main goal of the project, as Van Kaughnett explained it, is to be “cost-neutral. To take what we’re spending and spend it wisely.”

Cost, Van Koughnett added, is a make-or-break factor as was discovered in another pilot study held earlier this year. A group of 60 or so students were provided either a BlackBerry or a Nokia E62, both smartphones, enabled with voice and data plans, to look into the economics and feasibility of providing all UW students with a mobile device. Despite discounts from cellular companies, usage costs were still incredibly high and not seen as feasible. The device study additionally uncovered the staggering effects of personal taste. A mobile device is often seen as extension of the self, and as Van Koughnett explained it, a personality statement. Therefore, mass-distributing a device, especially in an environment where about 70 per cent of students already own a cell phone, would likely not be effective, according to Van Koughnett. Additionally, the device project would be difficult to implement without the correct infrastructure in place. As such, the MMNP is focusing on getting the correct technological infrastructure in place to facilitate cheap mobile access for students. With most mobile devices now supporting WiFi, the project will be working closely with IST, which will be upgrading the WiFi network across campus in the near future. Voice Over Internet Protocol (VOIP), which enables voice communications over the Internet, may seem commonplace these days, but is not really seen in the university residence environment much. Plans to incorporate VOIP into residence are also underway. Keeping with UW’s tradition of being the frontrunner in technology, the MMNP is the first of its kind in Canada. According to Van Koughnett, similar projects are underway in the U.S., but UW is the

first in Canada to look into incorporating such IP-based technologies in residence. “We want to align projects with industry solutions,” explained Van Koughnett, but at the same time, he said that the MMNP wanted to “push companies to bring the solutions to life” that may not currently exist. But being the first means that the project is operating on very rough guidelines. “It’s difficult to say how long it will take for wide-scale deployment,” said Van Koughnett, with various factors in play, such as how long it takes INUK to secure long-term broadcasting rights in Canada. As such, the project is running on a very flexible timeline. Being in Waterloo, a teeming hotspot for technological development especially in mobile development, with companies such as Research In Motion and Google is definitely beneficial, but the MMNP has the difficult task of keeping pace with industry. “Everything’s coming down the pipe at an accelerated pace,” said Van Kaughnett, and had difficulty when asked on his thoughts on what the university environment would be like 20 or 30 years from now. Even five years is a tough call, but Van Koughnett expects any student with right device to be able to take advantage of free and unlimited use of their mobile device at UW. That device would additionally act a multi-purpose device: acting as a WatCard (as ID and an e-wallet) and a classroom clicker; enabling security access to different rooms on campus; providing universityrelated content such as notice of a basketball game later on that day at the PAC; among other things. To Van Koughnett, the project’s “possibilities are endless. The complications are endless as well.” mjangda@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Feds AGM brings small changes Honorary members inducted into the Federation of Students; changes made to GLOW’s name Ashley Csanady staff reporter

Several small but important changes to policy and the decision to grant three honorary memberships were the highlight of this year’s Federation of Students Annual General Meeting. Most importantly, GLOW changed its name — well, sort of. Previously, GLOW was an acronym for “Gays and Lesbians of Waterloo;” now it’s just GLOW, but with the tagline “The Queer and Questioning Community Centre.” This change was brought forward following a series of discussions throughout the summer, passing through the bylaws, policies and procedures committee. GLOW co-ordinator Matthew LeBlond explained the change, saying, “Taking away Gays and Lesbians of Waterloo because it implies you have to be either gay or lesbian to be a part of the service — and that’s not the case.” President Kevin Royal said there was “support for this change from all levels of our organization,” while vice-president internal Darcy Higgins said the change was a “really positive step.” Besides the name change, GLOW’s mandate was also changed (see http://pulse. feds.ca/node/709 for changes). LeBlond said the changes will make it “a lot easier for us to service the campus because we’ll be doing exactly what our mandate tells us, simply because before, we were going over our mandate. “We’re opening it up a lot more,” he continued. “It’s not as if we’re taking anything away.” After quickly moving through the preliminary parts of the agenda, including approval of the audited financial statements from last year and ratifying the auditors for this year,

a motion was brought forward to present former vice-president education Jeff Henry, former councillor Kate Daley and former president John Andersen with honorary membership to the Federation of Students. Many executives and councillors spoke to the impact that these three individuals had during their time at UW. The indelible impact the three individuals had on the face of campus politics became apparent through the number of individuals compelled to speak on their behalf. The motion passed with little contention, and was celebrated with a boisterous response from vice-president of education Jonah Levine. President Kevin Royal explained that recipients of honorary membership are granted it for the entirety of the existence of the corporation and receive right and privileges for all social activities. In reality, however, he explained that it’s really an acknowledgement of strong achievement and merit. Following this, a small change was made to policy so that councillors are no longer required to attend the AGM. The idea is that they attend not as councillors, but as members of the Feds at their own will. Attending AGMs is not a requirement of their role and is, in Royal’s words, an “unnecessary burden” and “erroneous.” Also, two small rhetorical changes were included in this motion, which passed unanimously. Royal closed the meeting by praising his fellow executives saying “All the projects they campaigned upon are coming to fruition” — you can judge their performance for yourself next week with the annual Imprint Feds midterm review. acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Conference: a step towards action through understanding

courtesy Uw GAG

continued from page 4

• Rich Hitchens, founder and president of the Canadian Institute for Genocide and Human Rights Education. At the conference, he will give a talk about the history of genocide in the 20th century. • Allan Thompson, editor for The Media and the Rwanda Genocide. The book examines how media was used within Rwanda to facilitate genocide, as well as the way the Western media virtually ignored what was happening in that country. Given that UW is home to a number of people whose lives have been touched by genocide, the conference is expected to draw a large and diverse crowd. Some within the UW community have experienced genocide firsthand, and others know friends or family members who have been touched by the horrors of this crime. Even those who

have neither experienced genocide themselves, nor know anyone who has done so, have likely been exposed to it through media coverage of genocides occurring around the world. The range of experiences and views that conference participants bring to the table will add to some interesting discussion sessions. Overall, the UW Genocide Action Group hopes that the awareness generated by their annual conference will push individuals to take action against genocide and lobby their governments to do the same. “We constantly hear the phrase ‘never again’ in relation to the Holocaust, but since that time, genocide has happened again and again,” Biefer explained. “By showing people the different aspects of genocide, we hope to mobilize people into action, whether it is donating to charities like Oxfam, writing their MP or writing a letter to the editor. Biefer adds that “the more people aware of genocide, the more likely it is for politicians to act to prevent or stop it. Educating as many people as possible about this most serious crime is a way to get this cause on politicians’ radars.” The International Reaction to Genocide Conference runs from 11:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. this Sunday, October 28th in the Arts Lecture Hall. For more information, visit http://uwaterloo.facebook.com/event.php?eid=5444471444 &ref=mf or e-mail uwgag@hotmail.com. bcowen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

News GLOW flag found in garbage bin during Coming Out Week Jacqueline McKoy staff reporter

This year’s generally peaceful Coming Out Week hosted by GLOW was not without incident. The large rainbow flag spanning the SLC atrium balcony area — arguably the main symbol of the week — was taken down in the wee hours of Thursday, October 18. GLOW co-ordinator Matthew LeBlond noted that he has heard little more than conflicting evidence on the circumstances surrounding the removal of the flag, and that he’s “still trying to figure it out [for] [him]self.” All that is for certain is that the flag was found in a garbage bin prior to the beginning of the 24-hour-long Go-Go-AThon on Thursday morning. According to anecdotal reports, the act of vandalism took place early Thursday morning, after Police Services stopped heavily patrolling the SLC after Bomber last call. Turnkey Desk staffer and former GLOW co-ordinator Alex Chunaco told Imprint that “one of the plant ops staff around saw an older man who didn’t seem to be a student and a couple other people rip the flag” from the SLC railings. The plant ops employee later found the flag

concealed in a garbage bag. According to Police Services, there has been no official report filed as of Thursday October 25; without a report, surveillence camera evidence cannot be investigated. GLOW has been the target of vandalism in previous terms, as well. The GLOW bulletin board in the SLC was defaced on several occasions throughout January of 2006, and a message calling GLOW a “sin in God’s eyes” was scrawled on a pillar outside of Brubaker’s. In a possibly related, unresolved incident a month later, posters for the “Outlive” anti-homophobia campaign promoted by GLOW went missing from Feds’ poster run service. LeBlond said that, while it’s somewhat early in the year to say definitively, this year has been relatively free of incidents for GLOW compared to his previous three years as a volunteer for the Feds service. In the coming weeks, Imprint will provide more information on any new developments in this case. Those with any related infor mation are urged to call Police Services at extension 22222. jmckoy@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Correction In the October 19 issue of Imprint, there was an error in the article “Come Out and play with GLOW.” The article stated that the support discussion groups meet once a year in sometimes an academic setting, however GLOW specifies that the Peer Support Discussion Group does meet every week and is non-academic.

Opinion

opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Elizabeth: no damsel in distress Why Elizabeth: The Golden Years turns Lizzy into an old maid

I went to see Elizabeth: The Golden Years last Friday, and besides being ridiculously historically biased, and even laughable at points, it portrayed Elizabeth I not as a strong, independent leader, but an unsure, jealous woman who longed for a husband and child. I walked away from the movie more than a little pissed off. Elizabeth has long been one of my favourite historical figures and to see her shown in such a weakened state, chasing after a man who didn’t want her was endlessly frustrating — especially because the historical details for the plot line are more than debatable. Irregardless of whether the situation portrayed with Raleigh actually happened, the depiction of Elizabeth speaks volumes to antiquated beliefs that still permeate societal thinking. Elizabeth is considered one of the

greatest rulers in history, and I was expecting to see more of her rule than her romantic obsessions. In her time, she was considered an enigma for having never married, but despite the vast changes in our society since the 16th century, this still seems to be all people want to focus on. In doing just that, this film epitomizes the fact that even now, a woman who displays no desire to marry and procreate is doing so because she is deficient in some way. Calling someone an “old maid” may not have the resonance it once did, but it’s still a fact of our society that a man who never marries is considered a bachelor, independent, at worst a bit of a letch; however, women who never marry (or a similar equivalent) are still believed to have something wrong with them. It was rumoured that Elizabeth

had some kind of physical deficiency, such as extensive scarring from small pox, that prevented her marrying. This was 500 years ago, and yet we still buy into the same kind of mentality. It is

“Elizabeth speaks volumes to antiquated beliefs that still permeate societal thinking.” still very much expected for women to have, at some point in their lives, the desire to settle down. The idea of a woman choosing to remain alone, independent and free still seems so foreign to us, and it begs the question: why?

From fairy tales on, girls are taught to pursue male affection and companionship, lest they live a loveless existence. Although the same pressures to find validation in the opposite sex are undoubtedly equal for boys, they seem to be wrapped up in the physical as opposed to some intangible concept of “love.” Even Sex and the City eventually had all the women end up with their “soulmate” — the biggest failing of the show. To have seen one of the women, just one, decide to live out her life without a male counterpart would have been groundbreaking. Instead, everyone finds someone and lives “happily ever after” — well, I guess the movie will tell us how well that worked out. For once, I would like to see a female character who’s single, and not because she “hasn’t found the right guy” or because

there’s something wrong with her, just by choice. It may not be the Elizabethan age anymore, but we’re still expected to perpetually play Juliet. Are women who go it alone forever going to be considered an anomaly, or will our society eventually see her as a bachelor, someone free of commitments and attachments by choice? The inroads are there, and people are marrying later and later in life not because they feel they have to, but because they want to. Societal expectations are slowly starting to change, but the idea of a woman entirely rejecting romantic notions is so implausible to us that one of the greatest rulers in history still has to be depicted as a vindictive bitch who fulfills her maternal instincts by caring for the souls of a nation. acsaandy@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Trick-or-treat booze hounders need to get it together already University students really have it made. They have complete autonomy from parental figures, money to burn on foolish things (like $21 Imaginus posters) and an excuse to get royally canned off random combinations of booze that would likely prove fatal for anyone over 25. Plus, they get the Halloween free pass. As children around the world slice holes in their best bedsheets in the interest of becoming spooks for a night, university-aged students make their annual pilgrimage to second-hand stores to complete some

of the most unbelievable costume ideas one will ever encounter. But instead of catching ridicule for stretching the trick-or-treat years a decade too far, university students are actually encouraged by their peers to find that perfect original costume. Halloween has become a blur of alcohol-fuelled mayhem for university students, so much so that UW’s own Federation of Students is hosting Halloween events at both its on-campus watering holes this year. And it’s mid-week! My bet is there will be a significant number of empty lecture hall seats on the

University students will always find time to drink on nights like Halloween, but we could all make a bit of a difference in our community before the beer starts flowing.

morning of November 1. Obviously, Halloween has a Grated focus — the events of the evening are for the kiddies. Teenagers try to tarnish it, as they use Halloween to cruise the neighbourhood with a dozen grade ‘A’s and a can of spray paint — perhaps they use the night as an outlet for their built-up teen angst and the memory of that one bad hobo costume that the other kids all teased them about. But for university students, there is no excuse — just another excuse to drink and be merry. And perhaps a little too merry — have you seen some of the strings and eye patch-sized garments that pass for costumes among our demographic? Halloween for the 18-plus crowd is a get-out-of-your-clothes free card, complete with fishnet stockings and not much else. Tell me this: when did the nice little devil costume turn into a whore-

with-horns motif ? And there are so many more things you could do as a young adult while filling the voids of childhood Halloweens. Instead of planning your whole Halloween around stumbling home from the pub, try and do something constructive with your October 31. There are plenty of ways to relive your suffocatingplastic-mask days of Halloweens past while still being a grown-up about the whole thing. UW and Laurier have been taking part in the Trick-or-Eat program for a number of years now. Trick or eat is a program that encourages student volunteers to dress up in their best Value Village creations and canvas door-to-door soliciting donations of canned goods for donation to various food banks throughout the community. Having taken part in Trick-or-Eat a couple times, I can say that it is

always a good time. You can reminisce about your own candy-centric Halloweens, spend time with friends and look completely ridiculous while doing it. Plus, I know from experience that homeowners are so impressed with your charitable spirit that they usually toss a mini Snickers or two your way. So Halloween seems like a good excuse to get skanked up and get hammed at the Bomber or Fed Hall. But, why not take advantage of things like Trick-or-Eat and put some work into the evening before making your way to the bar? University students will always find time to drink on nights like Halloween, but we could all make a bit of a difference in our community before the beer starts flowing. Then, university students would really have it all. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Opinion

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Interpret this: Dumbledore is gay! Dumbledore is queer. Of course, what to many things, such as the traditional any good homosexual should be asking gay wizarding style of dress: tight jeans himself right now is whether wizarding and a Lacoste shirt robes. robes count as drag. Harry and his group of friends enjoy Oddly enough, now that author J.K. Rowling has fixed a definite gay character “Harry soon learns that into the world of Harry Potter, it is easy to see the his early sexual encounter whole series as an allegory with a dark wizard has left for the gay world. Harry has always known him marked for life.” he was different. His family noticed this early on and tried to suppress and hide his interests many adventures in their younger days, in men magic. Then, when he is 11- exploring the gay club scene Chamber years-old, through a chance encounter of Secrets, discovering designer drugs with a dom bear Hagrid, he learns the the secrets of Hogwarts, and searching truth, he is in fact gay a wizard. for the correct way to stimulate the He is taken to Church and Welles- prostate Philosopher’s Stone. ley Diagon Alley and realizes that he Harry soon learns that his early isn’t alone, that there is a whole gay sexual encounter with a dark wizard wizarding community. Harry meets has left him marked for life. When his two new best friends at school, Harry was penetrated by Voldermort’s a submissive bottom young wizard penis spell he was infected with named Ron and a bitchy fag-hag young HIV/AIDS dark magic that there is witch named Hermione. He is exposed no cure for.

Harry, though, doesn’t let this get him down. He focuses his energies on fighting HIV/AIDS the evil Lord Voldermort. Harry even starts a Gay Straight Alliance Defense Against the Dark Arts Club at school when the administration refuses to teach anything-but-abstinence-only-sexeducation the students how to adequately defend themselves. As time goes on, Harry becomes disillusioned with gay wizard life. He notices that many evils have crept in and become the norm. Wizards live up to the stereotype of fucking cursing a different person every night, and you don’t fit in unless you are a 19-year-old twink pureblood.

This new life isn’t as easy as Harry once thought it would be. Like any homosexual wizard, he occasionally wishes he was straight a muggle so that his life could be more normal. Harry, though, just can’t help the way he is. Dumbledore’s coming out has opened the door for a whole new way to interpret the best-selling series of books as well as trailblazing the way for other obviously gay literary characters to come out: Holden Caulfield, Big Brother and the Cat in the Hat. But then again, I wouldn’t hold my breath. tmyers@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Opinion

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Alex

The search for intelligent life

Gurevich

A brief guide to health Lately everyone has been on a health kick. Low fat food sales are through the roof and working out has become the new sitting on your ass. However, for every trend (like crack showing, muffin-top flaunting low rise jeans) there is an equal re-

actionary trend (like butt ballooning camel toe high rise jeans). So, I’ve decided to become the leader of the new anti-health, anti wellness movement. Because it’s never too early to develop a host of incredibly dangerous habits that will eventually lead to an untimely death. Just

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look at the number of teens who take up driving, Red Bull and giving into peer pressure. My first order of business would be about all the new diet, sodium free, low fat food that’s being sold everywhere. I demand food with advertisements like “Now with MORE trans fat!” I want chips that are so high in salt that they cause dehydration. I want food so sugary that it causes non-diabetics to go into hyperglycemic shock. Thank God I finally got to sneak that medical term into an article, there’s no point in committing something I picked off House to memory if I don’t get to throw it around to look smart. If the food industry does not comply to my dietary needs, I will be forced to (gasp!) cook for myself. Remember to always use the Southern rule of thumb when cooking. If you’re not sure how healthy it is, deep fry it. If you dropped it on the floor (for more than ten seconds), deep fry it. And finally, if you can’t remember if you already fried it, deep fry it again. Also, since Halloween is fast approaching, follow the “Halloween Diet.” This is so much better than either the Atkins or South Beach diet. For the next three months, eat

nothing but miniature candy bars and bags of chips for three meals a day. Except of course, for those disgusting Halloween toffees, which should only be used as caulking for gaps in brick walls. Next up is the special “Mackenzie Exercise Plan.” Ditch the jogging, you’re just making lazy people feel bad about themselves. Do you really want that on your conscience? For the love of God, stop treating walking like a sport. Last year I actually heard a guy get interviewed on CBC Radio because he had started a walking club at his office. They all met up at lunch and walked for an hour. They bought special shoes and joined walking message boards. I know that walking is really taking off among baby boomers but it is not a sport! Walking is what you do if you’re too uncoordinated to roller blade and not lucky enough to have a car. No one who has a choice ever walks. I also would like to ban yoga. My friend invited me to go to a class with her at the YMCA last year. All I can say is if I wanted to see a medley of community members in revealing clothes and compromising positions, I’d go back to spying at the door cracks in the Zellers change rooms. More importantly, I do not believe that

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anyone needs to see me trying to force my un-flexible body into a variety of painful positions. When I do yoga, I look like I’m impersonating a variety of awkward animals I saw on Animal Planet — in particular, the seal and the giraffe. The “Mackenzie Exercise Plan” mostly focuses on abdominal work. More specifically, flexing your abs to keep the laptop balanced on your stomach as you watch The OC in bed all afternoon. Other than that, the Exercise plan requires a lot of vigorous thinking and the occasional arm stretch when something is out of your reach and your telekinesis is on the fritz. To sum it all up, I predict the dawning of a new era. An age where the only way someone becomes a size 0 is by scribbling out the 2 that precedes it. It will be like following the “Supersize Me Diet” for the next three decades. After all, everyone dies, fat or thin, so you might as well have fun before you do. And remember, the Freshmen 15 is just a suggestion! Rise above it! You go out and you achieve your Freshmen 55! Me? I’ll be along soon. I just need to sit down. This typing thing is killing me. mcommon@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Opinion

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Friday, October 26, 2007 Vol. 30, No. 15 Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Adam McGuire editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Ad Assistant, Grimm Chin Sales Assistant, Ismat Jahan Volunteer Coordinator, Angela “Hack-n’-slash Gaetano

The search for intelligent life

agaetano@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Systems Admin, Dan Agar Distribution, Katherine Dunfield Distribution, Brian Peterson Intern, Sarah Gooey Intern, Taylor Slash-inger Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Adam Gardiner president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Jacqueline McKoy vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Lu Jiang treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Alaa Yassin secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Rob Blom liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Scott “Hex” Houston Lead Proofreader, Mohammad Fang-da Cover Editor, The Silk Spectre

News Editor, Nar-scream Lakhani News Assistant, Chants-hell McGee Opinion Editor, Christine Boo-gley Opinion Assistant, Jennifer Kill-atly Features Editor, Sin Nguyen Features Assistant, Tina Tombstone Arts Editor, Em-AHH! Tarswell Arts Assistant, Critter Hallberg Science Editor, Adrienne Jaws Science Assistant, Sherif Soul-less-man Sports Editor, Dave Smash-onski Sports Assistant, Fang Liu Photo Editor, Jenn Scary Photo Assistant, Mich-hell Nguyen Graphics Editor, Peter Cringe Graphics Assistant, Joyce Woooo Web Editor, Ryan Cob-Webb Web Assistant, Full Moon Choi Systems Administrator, deceased Sys. Admin. Assistant, deceased Production Staff Matt Wiebe, Rosalind Gunn, Keegan Tremblay, Eric Gassner, Alicia Boers, Cait Davidson, Jonathan Fung, William Chau,

Alex Gurevich

Tejas Koshy, Yang Liu, Sascia Yuan, Ashley Casandy, Alicia Mah Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this

agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next staff meeting: Monday, October 29, 2007 12:30 p.m. Next board meeting: T.B.A.

Have you been leaving heart felt comments about our columns on our website? We can’t publish your comments anymore! So send us letters instead! E-mail us at: letters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Distractions

Crossword Tim Foster

Across 1. Legend 6. Greek anthropomorphic storyteller 11. Donkey 14. King of the Hill town 15. Everyone on March 17 16. Subjective of her 17. Upkeep 19. Steeped-leaves drink 20. Flat mountaintop 21. Archaic 43 across 23. Imprecise skill 24. Stockings 25. Inflated sport object 28. Frosts a cake 32. Network of nearby computers 33. Romania monetary unit 34. Original 36. Rooster’s crest 39. Heraldic symbols 41. Silent actress Garbo 42. German expressionist Nolde 43.Vagrant 44. Bow-sail holding spar 45. Euro precursor 46. Latin, and so on 48. Line up 49. Free standing tall plant 50. Arabic currency 53. Flat-bladed gardening tool 55. Got pleasure from 57. Instance of teaching 61. The sound of his master’s voice 62. Act of using (British) 64. PC’s adversary 65. Biological code 66. Japanese fencing 67. Question 68. Sport venue 69. Twisted Down 1. Slang, umbrella 2. Europe-Asia boundary

Sudoku 4

2 1 3 9 6 7 9

To the crazed lunatic with the bloody axe who budded in front of me at Tim Hortons last Tuesday: come on man, just because you’re all

What’s the best way to kill a zombie?

34 40

32 35

43 47

By Sarah Hewey 45

44 46

Campus Question

11 16

53 56

3. Upper hip bones 4. Regarding teeth 5. Come in 6. North Japanese indigenous people 7. Pitcher’s main stat. 8. Make vocal music 9. Extinct Latin cousin 10. Basic aromatic chemical unit 11. Scientific stargazer 12. West Wing actor Martin 13. Closes perfectly 18. Acts of consuming food 22. French ice 25. Apathetic interjection 26. Flight prefix 27. Woodcutter 29. Specifically-tasked group, especially military

30. All people in the room 31. Become established (2 wds) 35. Door catches 37. Nature’s popcorn-rodents 38. Dylan’s Tangled up in 40. South African pidgin language 47. Upstate New York tribe 49. Male gonads 50. Skin prefix 51. Ancient Peruvians 52. Gauge 54. Second city of Japan 56. To sup 57. Middle Simpson child 58. Pig noise 59. Point of convergence 60. Winter precipitation 63. Diminutive of Leonard

Tim Foster

tfoster@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

7 6

“Get possessed to fight the evil!”

“Fart in its face.”

Kiran Narayansingh

Mustafa Khan

2A biomed

“Decapitate it.”

“Thermo-nuclear weapons.”

4A economics and arts

Oct. 19 Solutions

4 1 6 4 9 8 6 5

Missed Connections You always come in late to PSYCH 101, and I mean, normally I wouldn’t notice in a class that big, but its hard to ignore the alluring stench of rotting flesh and that sexy green gas that seems to waft out of the badass hole in the back of your skull. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s damn near impossible to meet a fine undead specimen like yourself in the tri-city area. If you ever want to join me in soul gorging, let me know - undead_ zombie_wench69@hell.net

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

I M P E M A O R F I N G L E O R I P E

A D I T

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S H E A R

P O I L U

A A R O N

1 9 2 4 8 5 7 6 3

4 8 7 1 6 3 9 2 5

L I E N A E L A S Y L S O T U R D E E T

3 6 5 2 7 9 8 1 4

O P A L A L M A R F O O D E P L I P T E D A I S A I L L R E A D D V I I C S E R L A T E E R S C R E L A T K N I T S A T E

2 4 3 5 9 6 1 7 8

9 5 1 8 4 7 2 3 6

8 7 6 3 2 1 5 4 9

O W L S V A R I E S

6 2 8 7 5 4 3 9 1

P I C C A L I L L I

S O R E R

S T A N D

T A M E S

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5 3 4 9 1 2 6 8 7

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Kate Goslett and Meagan Hay 1A planning

“Destroy its brain.” Phil Shea

2A psychology

Here’s the scene: Rev, about 12:30 on Saturday night. Me, 12th century heretic who was burned at the stake for dancing too sexy.You, first year student in silver tube top with stiletto hooker boots. I’ve only recently been resurrected and I’m not really used to this dating thing, but if you want to cut some rug, I’ll be “in da club” next weekend!

2A math

“Knock it out with a stool when it’s eating [Filgen.]” Colin Terry and Filgen Fung

4A business & science, 4A kinesiology

from the Crypt

“I just killed three people, I’m tired, I need coffee so I can stay up and keep killing” doesn’t mean you have to be a dick about it. I mean, fuck off, I’ve got midterms but you don’t see ME budding.

Richard Zsolt

You’re such an asshole and I can’t believe I ever fell for you. You vampires are all the same. Once you get your sucking done, its like you don’t even know my name. Ugh. It’s enough to make a girl turn into a bat. I shouldn’t even give you a second chance, but if you want to spread the word of Satan sometime, you know where to find me. ARGHHhhhh... need BRAINS.... GIVE BRRRrraaiinnsss... must gobbbbbblle.. EMAILLLL MEEEeeeee. brainchompingmummie@curses.com Missed a connection? Wanna break the ice? email to

ghalpern@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

“My mom’s cooking.” Allan Babor

3A arts & business

“Burn it.” Letty Lau

1A optometry

features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

All Hallow’s events Angela Gaetano staff reporter

Whether your idea of a good time is dressing up in a skimpy costume, ripping the guts out of a gourd or taking free candy intended for children, Halloween is a festive time of fun and frolic for everyone! In keeping with the holiday spirit, Imprint has compiled a diverse list of local events to keep everyone tricked, treated and entertained this year. The Rocky Horror Picture Show Wednesday, October 31 7:00 p.m., 9:10 p.m., and 11:20 p.m. Princess Cinema, Uptown Waterloo Cost: $6 for members, $9 regular. The cult classic musical starring Tim Curry as everyone’s favourite “Sweet Transvestite,” Dr. Frank-N-Furter, is an annual Halloween event at Princess Cinemas. This year, the tradition coincides with the UW Drama Department’s live production of the show, which will take the stage on campus in November. To celebrate the sexy rock opera, and to promote their staging, actors who are currently rehearsing with the Drama department will improvise a song and dance number before each screening of the movie, keeping with the long-standing practice of troupes of fans performing along with the show, in front of theatre screens. Another fan ritual associated with Rocky Horror is the audience’s use of props. Traditionally, specific props are used by fans at specific times in the movie to participate in the culture, and the phenomenon, that is Rocky Horror. Canonically accepted props include rice, toast, newspapers, and water pistols. Although each fan has their own idea of the “essentials,” you can find a list of props and a guide explaining when and how to use them on RockyHorror. com, under their “participation” section. The website is a great place to start if you are a “virgin,” the fan-term for a first time attendee of Rocky Horror festivities, and will explain many of the expected Rocky Horror fan practices, like dancing the Time Warp during the dance scene, dressing in costume, and yelling “Slut!” every time a specific character comes on screen. Check it out if you plan to attend the Princess Cinema showing, and be sure to show up early, as this annual event inevitably sells out fast! J. Steckle Heritage Family Fun Days Saturday, Oct. 27, and Sunday, Oct. 28 10:00a.m. to 5:00 p.m. & 12 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. A 15.6 acre heritage site in Kitchener $5 entrance fee, extra for events Transform your humble $5 bill into a whole afternoon of fall fun at the J. Steckle Heritage Homestead, a historical site that provides educational and recreational programming for area children and their families. The entrance fee includes a wide array of entertainment, including belly, Highland, Celtic, and Romanian dancers, kung fu and kickboxing demonstrations, a magician, and a blues band. The entertainment differs between the two Family Fun Days, so use the event schedule on familyfundays.ca to plan your visit. The entrance fee also includes a wagon ride, petting zoo, a craft area, children’s displays and story tellers, and a native reenactment village. As if that wasn’t enough, the J.Steckle Heritage Homestead is also providing access to a fresh produce and pumpkins market, face painting, and a haunted barn. The “Heritage Haunted Barn” operates during the day for $2/person, and for those that prefer their ghosts and ghouls at night, they provide evening hours from 6:30-10:00 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 26-Sunday, Oct. 28, and on Halloween itself, Wednesday, Oct. 31. Family Fun Days are run by volunteers from UW and area high school and provide funding for the Homestead’s community programming.

Waterloo Zombie Walk Saturday, Oct. 27, 3:00 p.m. Starting in Waterloo Park Free “W hat does a veg etarian zombie eat? Graaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnns” is the type of humour appreciated by participants in the relatively new phenomenon known as zombie walks. Taking place across the country, these events are centered around massive numbers of people dressing up as the living dead and taking to the streets of urban centres in search of juicy brains! Waterloo’s first large-scale Zombie walk will be starting at the Seagram entrance of Waterloo park around 3 p.m., and scaring its way to Generation X Video in Uptown Waterloo for a photo before moving on for beer at Ethel’s Lounge. As the sponsors, Generation X will be providing some of the beer and treats at Ethel’s and will be giving away DVD copies of the original Dawn of the Dead and the recently released Night of the Living Dead 3D.

NIGHT CLUB EVENTS: Global Warming In Hell Halloween Dance Party (19+) Starlight Social Club Saturday, Oct. 27 Doors pen at 9:00 p.m. Free (no cover) If you’re in the mood for live music this year, drop by the Halloween Dance Party at Starlight to check out Vancouver Indie Rock/Electro Pop band, Bella. It’s a 19+ event, with no cover, so get dressed up and get your “ghoul” on. Jane Bond’s Halloween Ball (19+) Wednesday, Oct. 31, Doors open at 9:00 p.m.. The Jane Bond in Uptown Waterloo $5 at the door With prizes for best costumes, The Jane Bond is supporting the Halloween spirit! DJs Chad Breen, from Kitchener, and Scott Cormier, from Toronto, will be spinning all night. 2nd Annual All Ages Halloween Bash Bomber Tueday, Oct. 30, doors open at 9:00 p.m. $6 In Advance or $10 at the door Last year’s Bomber Halloween was a huge success, with all tickets selling out, so plan ahead of time and get your tickets early at the Feds office in the SLC. This dance party is a dry event and is for UW students only, so no sign-ins will be permitted. Club Abstract Halloween Parties (19+) Club Abstract, Saturday, Oct 27 & Wednesday, Oct. 31, 9:00 p.m.-2:00a.m. $5 cover Yet another reason to get an awesome costume, Club Abstract will be giving away cash prizes for best costumes at both of their Halloween parties this year. On Friday, well dressed partiers will enjoy DJ Big Al’s combination of retro and alternative tunes, and, on Saturday, DJ OBI will adding top 40 tracks to the mix. agaetano@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Joyce Hsu

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Timeless tales and urban myths

Sarah Hewey imprint intern

What is this strange obsession with goosebumps? As much as all of us can try to deny it, nothing gets us going like a good horror story. I myself am a glutton for punishment when it comes to all things terrifying. Mine is a timeless tale. I go for a few months, proud to announce that I have deprived myself of the latest horror flick, flipped over the Space channel when “The Exorcist” is yet again being shown, and fluffed off Stephen King’s latest novel when milling through the bookstore. Then, all of a sudden, it happens. I find myself amongst a large group of loud and talkative people like myself, when suddenly, someone announces, “Oh my god! Do you want to hear the scariest thing ever?” Heck yes I do! So there I am, completely enthralled with whatever ghostly encounter or babysitting nightmare they have to discuss, my pants nearly falling off with fright (think, “scare your pants off ” — it happens, you know). In reality, I can walk away, sure I can. But no, it’s better to stay and listen, to let my mind wander and at the end of it all, meander off suddenly pants-less and left with the sinking realization that I’m not going to sleep tonight. I know I’m not alone. We’re all suckers for punishment when it comes to the “boo factor,” as I like to call it. But what is it in us that so desperately craves this thrill, despite knowing that as soon as bedtime rolls around, the

luster will have worn off, replaced instead by mounds of covers and a nightlight? Why do we like to be scared? Well, I have a theory. Most of the time, the stories we come across are things we can relate to or identify with, therefore enabling our somewhat corrupt minds to wander and in effect, conjure up a cocktail of crazed calamities and freakish trepidations that are sure to befall us. These stories are often referred to as “urban legends,” timeless tales with countless variations that have circulated the world. Essentially, stories engineered to “scare your pants off.”. Urban legends, have been around for a long time. So long in fact, that I really have no idea how long it is; super long, if you will. The concept first appeared in Edgar Morin’s La Rumeur d’Orléans in 1969, and the term itself was first spotted way back in 1979 in a book review by the Journal of American Folklore 92:362, by Jan Harold Brunvand, an English professor at the University of Utah. The phrase was coined, the stories rolled and pants disappeared shortly after. Urban legends touch on basically every facet of human existence. Not only do they play on the gross factor, but they also identify with basic qualities, such as the boyfriend, the babysitter, the lonely drive home and, of course, the fast-food industry. Let’s examine further. There are, most notably, the classics, such as a babysitter receiving

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phone calls from an upstairs phone line think, “Have you checked the children?” As well, there’s the couple that hear scratching outside their car, only to discover a bloody hook hanging from the handle when they get home. Add to that the story of the man who scares the crap out of a young woman by following her home and slamming on his high beams, only to explain later that he had seen a crazed killer crawl into her backseat, and was scaring him back into hiding. Remeber, “Bloody Mary,” the infamous chant that’s supposed to raise a woman’s spirit in a bathroom mirror? Scary stuff! Now, for the gross-out. For the squeamish tummy-ed, I suggest you skip this section. Without being too graphic, I happened to stumble upon the story of a girl who develops cockroach eggs on her tongue from licking an envelope! Furthermore, there’s the story of the exploding cactus with baby tarantulas inside, the oozing mayonnaise that turns out to be a chicken tumor at a popular fast-food restaurant (we all know the one) and a swelling bump on a woman’s cheek that releases spiders! Ew! I told you, not for the faint of heart. I definitely felt the creepy crawlies after hearing all of these. And, despite the fact that all of these stories are very false, I’ve sworn off chicken — and envelopes. Enough with that. In the spirit of Halloween, we’ll move on to ghostly stuff. Although I can’t offer you a campfire, you can try to imagine one. I did. The “vanishing hitchhiker” story tells of two women who pick up a hitchhiker who suddenly disappears from the backseat, only to find out that she passed away many years earlier. Similarly, there’s the story of a man who is stopped at a car accident by a young mother who instructs him to rescue her baby from the backseat, only to realize after that the mother had already died in the car. Finally, there’s the “room for one more” story about a young woman who has a dream about being invited into a hearse filled

Cause of death...WTF

Joyce Hsu

with passengers rather than a coffin by a carriage driver who says, “There’s room for one more.” The following day, when shopping on the top floor of a department store, she is invited by the elevator operator to come inside, under the instructions, “There’s room for one more.” She declines, and moments later, the elevator crashes, killing everyone inside. Spooky! So what’s the deal with these? Fact or fiction? True or false? To be or not to be? After careful research, I concluded that many of these urban legends are indeed both very scary and very false. There’s no real record of any of these occurrences, minus a few stories shared between friends who were likely inebriated in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, in my opinion, “I swear man, it’s true, I swear!” just doesn’t cut it. In truth, they rest on a believe-what-you-want-basis. If my theory is correct, you might deem all of these factual because you

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lavish in the goosebumps, love the thrill, and really don’t like your pants all that much. However. I lied a little bit. Not all urban legends are believe-what-you-want. Some are, disturbingly, very true. Take being buried alive, for example. Can’t happen, right? Wrong. On September 17, 2007, Reuters.com reported the story of a man who didn’t even make it to his coffin. He woke up after his autopsy had begun! Coroners realized something was horribly wrong when the man started bleeding excessively from the incision on his face. Blood coagulates after death; why then, was the man bleeding if he was legally deceased? Spooky! Or what about the legend of the Halloween decoration that turned out to be a suicide? In 1995, a 42-year-old woman was found hanging from a tree 15 feet above the ground in Frederica, Delaware. The scary part? She was left there for days because passersby mistook her for an extremely distasteful Halloween decoration! So maybe there is some verification. Maybe those winos in their altered stupor knew exactly what they were talking about. Maybe the goosebumps deserve a little more credit. Your call. All I know is, this year, I’m going to give those hanging decorations a second look. shewey@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Different perspectives. One goal.

Ingredients G 3/4 cup unsalted, room temperature butter

G 1/2 cup and 1 tbsp granulated sugar

When it comes to being organized, I don’t take the word lightly. I should be more lenient with certain things but hey, old habits die hard. Take Halloween, for instance. As youngsters, my cousins and I would map out ‘prime’ candy territory well in advance, and then go through several hours of intensive but prosperous trick or treating. Our outings were definitely not for the faint-of-heart. When we felt satisfied with the weight of our bags, we’d return to grandma’s house with rosy cheeks, tired feet and great anticipation to eat candy till our tummies were sore. However, the task of separating of the good, the bad and the healthy would be performed first. For what was kept, my method of organization included hard candies and chocolates in one bag, soft candies and gum in another and finally chips in a third bag. This worked well for me because I could eyeball just how much I had consumed from one bag and then balance that same amount out with the other bags. With the mountains of sugar in my system, one could deem this method crazy… yes, that it was, but you couldn’t deny this was a fair treatment toward all three bags: it was accurate and teeth-rottingly satisfying. Chips were always a top favourite for me and usually lasted the longest because I would ration them alongside the remaining sweets that usually outnumbered them. If you get a hold of some salty potato chips via (forced) donation from younger siblings or cousins, or if you splurge on the aftermath candy/chip sale at the store like me, try making cookies out of them. Pardon the following (extremely cheesy) pun (because I just couldn’t help myself), but while I know these cookies sound like a “trick,” they really are a “treat!” In all seriousness, the cookies don’t taste like a chip, but it does give it that wondrous “je ne sais quoi” element. Give this recipe a try; you’ll surprise and delight yourself and friends.

G G G G

1 egg yolk 1 tsp vanilla 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

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3/4 cup finely crushed salty potato chips

G 3/4 cups coarsely

chopped toasted pecans #10 on the list.

Directions G Preheat oven to 350 degrees

G In a large bowl, cream

butter & sugar together

G Add egg yolk and vanilla until light and fluffy

Add flour, potato chips, chopped pecans & mix to combine

Drop a heaping tablespoon of dough, 2 inches apart on an all-purpose flour ungreased cookie sheet

Bake for 8 to 10 minutes Do not overbake

G Cool slightly on sheet

before removing & cool on a wire rack.`

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Tiffany Li

Audit • Tax • Transaction Advisory Services

Bashing the chips with a rolling pin or crushing by hand won’t attain the fine texture needed. To get the job done right, use a food processor.

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Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Different deaths Carmen Peters reporter

Throughout time, death has been seen in various fashions, from omens and symbols, to substantial beings and places. With Halloween approaching, death comes into even sharper focus with skulls, knives, witches, ghosts and all other things supernatural seen as lawn ornaments. One culture in particular had a rather morbid fascination with death, their entire culture revolving around getting ready for the afterlife with talismans and elaborate burial rituals, we know it as ancient Egypt. In ancient Egypt, Ositis is the deity associated with death and the underworld. Having been torn to pieces and mummifying himself, the Egyptians revered him as their guide to death. Death and living comfortably in the afterlife was also associated with the preservation of the physical body, which is why ancient Egyptians mummified their own bodies. Everything that was feasibly possible was placed in the burial chamber to ensure the deceased’s comfort. Some of the wealthy class would even mummify servants before their own deaths, to ensure their own comfort in the afterlife. The objective here is to preserve the physical in order to aid the soul. It wasn’t just Pharaohs who were mummified; cats, who were also associated with the gods, were also mummified, along with pets that were associated with the Egyptian gods, such as hawks, and crocodiles. The tradition of preparing a body for death is seen in other cultures as well, although the preparations and forms of honourable death differ. While Egyptians looked at preserving the body, other cultures, such as the Vikings, saw it most honorable to destroy the body. In the Norsemen tradition, it wasn’t just the form of funeral that mattered; it was how that person died. If a warrior was slain in battle, their souls would depart straight to Valhalla, the Great Hall situated in Asgard. In this hall the warriors would spend their days battling and partying. This is a reason why Norsemen sought battles, because to die in battle not only meant honour for the individual, but also a straight-cut path to Norse heaven. Dying from disease or of old age was viewed as dishonorable and not worthy of Norse Heaven. Those individuals would be sent to the equivalent of Norse hell, known as Helheim, realm of the dead. Hel, the goddess, was the half alive and half-corpse ruler of this realm. Even worse was that in Helheim, there no chance of escaping in the end of days like those in Valhalla. Mortal or

god, any creature that passed the river Gjoll to this ninth and final realm would be stuck there till the end of time. Not anyone’s idea of a good time. While the Norse had an interesting concept of heaven and hell, not all cultures share those same concepts. The Chinese and Vietnamese, in the certain part of the Buddhist religion, don’t believe that a person will spend an eternity in hell. Instead, there is Karma, where the bad things you’ve done in your lifetime finally come back to give a person the worst tortures imaginable, which match the crime. These could include reliving painful memories, being boiled alive, falling off a cliff onto knives waiting at the bottom, or even being constantly torn apart by wild animals while trying to walk across a rainbow. These tortures aren’t simply for a few years; it is believed that depending on how bad your karma is, these tortures could last several lifetimes. In Vietnamese, the Dim Duong judges a person according to the records he keeps in a book that keep track of people’s lives. Thankfully, those judged well with good Karma are fed at the gates: a melon soup or a special drink that allows them to reincarnate with no memories of the past. Today, some of these traditions are seen in how they bury the dead. Some are preserved to the best of our ability. Coffins are made and the deceased beautified so they look almost alive and serene. Then they are placed in their own tomb with a small monument for us to remember them by, often placed with mementos. Sound familiar? Extreme forms of preservation of our loved ones can be seen in exhibits such as Body Works, (where depending on a person’s stances, the dead are preserved and positioned to not only create a learning experience for those interested in the human body, but also serve as a morbid work of art). There are also those deceased that are cremated; their ashes are thrown to the winds or placed in an area of reverence. This follows with ancient funeral pyres, where the dead are burned and their ashes blown naturally to the winds. For those who really can’t let go of their loved ones, technology has come to the point where our loved ones can be with us forever as their ashes can be compressed into diamonds. While there have been questions on the possibilities of an afterlife, there has been equal, if not greater fascination with the foretelling of death itself. The uncontrollable aspect of when, when our ‘‘time comes’’ is hunted in cultures. The Scottish tell of the Bean Nighe, the wandering woman who washes the grave-

clothes of those about to die. The Irish have a similar version of this woman called the Irish Bean Sidhe, or Banshee. A family who hears her wails knows one of them is doomed to die. In Vietnamese culture, death comes to an individual when their candle in hell finally burns out. The Guardians of the Gate to Hell, Men with Cow or Horse heads then come to fetch the souls of the dead for judgment. The Asin is another female creature whose laughter is an omen of death. The list of death dealers goes on, from the Grim Reaper of Medieval Europe, to the Angel of Death. While we don’t associate laughter or wails to be an omen of imminent death, our own modern life has created certain areas and smells that associate us with death. The smell of antiseptic in hospitals is a familiar one to those of us who have had to deal with a relative spending their final days in a hospital. The smell of “too-clean” tries to overpower the scent of death, but it doesn’t really work to overpower the feeling of gloom that hovers over certain areas of hospitals. Antiseptic smells, have for many, become associated with death. Retirement homes are another location that seems synonymous with death. It may sound nice on a brochure, but it really is a place for people to retire, as in, a quiet place to lay down and die. Lately, old superstitions have come to light with television shows, graphic novels, even movies all moving towards dealing with the supernatural. While everyone knows about black cats, broken mirrors and four-leaf clovers, there are older superstitions that are useful to know in this season. For instance, wonder why a person’s eyes are always closed after death? If they are left open, they will find someone to take with them. A clock that has never worked suddenly chimes, means death will soon follow. White moths trying to enter your home means death will soon follow. If an umbrella falls to the floor means murder is on its way. If you’re walking through a cemetery, you can even tell if a person was good or evil, depending on if the person has flowers (good) or weeds (evil) growing on their graves. In watching out for death, there is one classic ward against evil spirits. Salt if placed in openings will keep away demons and deadly spirits. While none of us know when our time will come, at least we have our culture, traditions and superstitions to try to ease and frighten us into dealing with death, the deceased and our own journey to the unknown.

Cultural fears Guy Halpern staff reporter

We all get scared sometimes. I’m not talking about the — watching Saw VII, yelped when some no name actor had molten lava squirted up their ass -— sort of scared; I mean the real, no bullshit, tense-feeling-hair-raising-frantic-eyessomeone-is-watching-me sort of scared. The fear you feel when you’re walking alone at night with Justin Timberlake blaring through your headphones but your mind won’t stop telling you that someone is following behind, waiting for you to slow down. Most people would be hard pressed to actually name what it was that made them uncomfortable; in the secular, “science explains all” world of the West. The threat of getting mugged or raped by a regular ol’ human maniac far outweighs the danger posed by the supernatural. Countless lame Halloweens and a constant parade of shitty horror films have stripped meaning from vampires, zombies, mummies and ghosts. We need some fresh things to go bump in the night, some new monsters to look under the bed for. Living as we do in the new global era, there’s really only one logical solution to this problem: pillaging the rest of the world’s cultural heritage! Although vampires have lost much of their cachet, the idea of something killing you from the inside out by draining away your stuffing is still rather disturbing. While the current Western concept owes a deep debt to Bram Stoker’s Dracula, many other cultures have their own versions of these creatures of the night suggesting, unsurprisingly, that sucking is something of a universal fear. In order to get as far away as possible from capes and bad Romanian accents, a bit of traveling is in order. The Kappa is a creature from Japanese mythology that likes to live near bogs and ponds. It isn’t a vampire in the strict sense of the word, though it does enjoy feasting on human entrails (particularly the liver). Dracula could really only get at the blood; his jugular chomping methodology was great for drinking but didn’t leave much room for organ eating. The Kappa gets around this problem by going for a more direct route, eschewing the neck and heading straight for the anus. Though visual descriptions of the Kappa vary, most depictions tend to suggest some sort of a cross between a monkey and a frog, sized somewhere in the neighbourhood of a small child. Coincidently, their preferred prey is human children; apparently the only thing they find more delicious than that is cucumbers. To this day, it is still a custom in some parts of Japan to write

your child’s name onto a cucumber and throw it into the pond they are about to bathe in, in order to satiate the Kappa that may be lurking there. Entrails and blood: I think it can be safely said that most wouldn’t part willingly with either of these, but what about fat? What if, instead of stealing your vital organs, there was a demon that simply stole your excess weight? It wouldn’t even bite, just slice your side open with an incredibly sharp knife while you slept. By morning, your wound is healed and your fat is gone; the only clue of the night’s activities is that you fit into those jeans from highschool again. Although it sounds like the work of a crazed plastic surgeon, the ghoul responsible for this seemingly charitable act is the Lik’ichiri (“fat stealer” in the Aymara language), hailing from the Andes region of South America. Since much of the region consists of remote villages at high elevations, having your fat stolen could mean the difference between life and death on a cold night. In many South American cities, the Lik’ichiri myth has taken on a more modern twist, feeding into persistent fears of foreign crime syndicates killing the urban poor in order to harvest their organs for trading on the black market. In the folklore of many south and central African groups there is the myth of the Hai-uri. The name Hai-uri comes from the Khoikhoi language of southern Africa, but the ghoulish-half-man appears. When I say “ghoulish half man,” I literally mean that it is half a man. It only has one side of its body; one leg, one arm, one eye, and half of a ragged mouth. It hunts humans by leaping over bushes and shrubbery, aided by the useful power of invisibility--when seen from its “missing” side. In stories it ususally approaches victims sideways, invisible until it’s close enough to strike, kill and devour its victim. You’d think that this half-man might not have the cojones to kill too well, but the Hai-uri is shockingly agile. The three creatures just described are certainly frightening, but perhaps not in the ways which seem normal to us. The Kappa’s power stems from the pool of water that sits in an indentation on its head; because it’s an extremely polite little bugger it will bow back to you if you bow first, thereby spilling its bowl of… power water. If you give it enough cucumbers, you can even convince it to be your friend and leave your anus alone; it’s said that the art of setting bones was taught to a wise man by a particularly friendly Kappa. Similarly, though the Hai-uri would like to kill you, if you can beat it up in a fight it will make you into

a powerful medicine man, and give you knowledge of magic. The Lik’ichiri can be put off if you eat garlic; a coincidence superficially similar to the folklore surrounding vampires. the difference lies in the garlic’s effect. It’s not that the Lik’ichiri is allergic to it or that it makes the mystical liposuctioner shrivel up and die – it just makes you a lot less appetizing because garlic supposedly dilutes your fat. To a large degree, these creatures aren’t very scary once removed from their cultural context. The things that really shake us up need to resonate on some deep level, whether it’s the environment we’re raised in or just our own neuroses. When I was younger, I would lie in bed tormented by the thought that the half-melted snowmen I’d abandoned outside would come back and kill me as I slept. I can say now that I know that this is obviously ridiculous; it doesn’t take some kind of magical charm to defeat those frosty motherfuckers, just a flurry of kicks and punches to their mushy snow bodies. At one point, the area I lived in was plagued by packs of wild dogs; my own pet canine was badly mauled, and for a long time afterwards I couldn’t help but imagine cloudy yellow eyes peering out at me as I walked home through the forest. Even now, when I get a little loosey goosey with the liquor and walk home on my own in Toronto, I’ve got my keys in between my knuckles on the vague chance that I get jumped. I don’t have a lot of superstitions anymore, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get creeped out sometimes when I hear what sounds like footsteps coming up the stairs from the basement. Therein lies the difficulty in making Halloween scary again; it’s one thing to want people to stop dressing up as prostitutes, super heroes and robots, and go back to trying to scare the shit out of you, but what’s actually scary? What are our underlying cultural fears? We live in a wonderful, diverse, individualistic society; it seems as if maybe the only thing that everyone is scared of is a modern day boogieman, a Robert Pickton or a Karla Homolka. At the end of the day, maybe the best we can hope for this Halloween is simply some originality, some stabs at getting your heart rate up when you answer the door with a bowl full of candy. So be part of a change that freaks you out. If there IS a horror renaissance coming up, here’s to hoping that at the very least we’ve got some fat-stealers and cucumber chompers to add a little spice to the monster mash. ghalpern@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Joyce Hsu

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Jack’in the pumpkin Shayna Sparling staff reporter

I love pumpkins! I love how they look, all orange and round and happy. I love how they taste; delicious pumpkin pie and crunchy roasted pumpkin seeds are the best in October. And, most importantly, I love carving pumpkins. But, as I sliced through the pumpkin flesh and pulled out the gooey insides in preparation for Halloween this year, it occurred to me that there are ways to carve up your pumpkin so that it can love you too. For one thing, before you hollow out your pumpkin, you could carve a medium size hole into one side of your pumpkin and a small hole on the other. The medium sized hole should be just the right size for you to shove your penis inside and pump your pumpkin. Cover and release the small hole to vary the sensation of suction on the backstroke. For best results, try warming up your pumpkin a little bit on a sunny windowsill. Of course, not all of us have the right appendage to love a pumpkin in this way — but that doesn’t mean we can’t have our own fun ignoring the trick-or-treaters, too. With a little clever knife-work, you could make yourself a frottage pumpkin. Simply lay your pumpkin on its side and draw one large oval with one small oval and one small circle inside. Being careful not to cut all the way through the pumpkin flesh, carve out a substantial amount of the pumpkin flesh inside the large oval, leaving the small oval and circle behind, sticking up. The raised circle will be your vaginal plug and the small raised oval will be your clit stimulator. Carve some ridges into your clit

stimulator for the extra texture that will (hopefully) make this all worthwhile. Next, wrap your pumpkin in a couple of layers of plastic wrap, squirt on some lube, and set your pumpkin on the floor or on a small sturdy table or chair. Then it’s time to turn your speakers up enough to drown out the doorbell and grind your way to pumpkin-y ecstasy. Of course, if you’re someone who needs something a little more substantial to get off, you could always try mounting your favourite dildo into our spheroid orange friend. It’s easy: just lay your pumpkin on its side and trace around the base of your dildo, then draw another circle a few inches wider than your tracing. Cut out a hole, the same diameter as your dildo, in the middle of your big circle. Then cut out the big circle on an inward angle — like when you cut the lid of a jack-o-lantern. Scoop out some of the pumpkin flesh from the underside of your “lid” to make a niche for the base of your dildo so that it sits flush and securely. Fit the “lid” back on the pumpkin, wash everything down, place the dild-pumpkin on your bed or floor, crank the tunes, and ride ‘em cowgirl (or cowboy)! Of course, if screwing a pumpkin isn’t really your thing — or if your house-mates would prefer that you carve something that could be put on display — there are other ways to express your pumpkin love. Who’s to say that you can’t create a lovely pumpkin depicting a blow-job in progress, two lesbians in a 69 or even a simple penis or vagina? With a lit candle inside, your blow-job pumpkin could be quite beautiful and set the perfect mood for this year’s Halloween party. What’s that? Oh, your housemates DID say that you can’t carve

anything explicit into the pumpkin? Well, if you must carve a family-friendly pumpkin this year (or even if you don’t), there is one more way to really love your pumpkin: make a pumpkin-goo masturbator! Here’s how: when you’re at the store buying the pumpkin, pick up two extra produce bags. As you prepare to carve your pumpkin, scoop out all of the gooey insides and put them into one of your plastic bags, picking out as many seeds as you can. When your pumpkin is all done, slide the plastic bag filled with pumpkin goo into an empty container (like a tennis ball canister or a 1L water bottle with the top cut off), fold the top of the bag open over the edge of the container and use an elastic band to hold it down. Next insert your second plastic bag into the middle of your pumpkin goo, open the top and secure the edges under the elastic band. Squirt a little lube in the inner bag and pump away until the party guests start to arrive! With a little pumpkin love, you’re sure to have a very happy Halloween this year. ssparling@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Seminar illuminates space missions

Viruses could be fooled into jail of nanoparticles Faisal Naqib staff reporter

Adrienne Raw

John Crawford of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Lab conducts a seminar on the process of creating remote sensing space missions. Adrienne Raw science editor

On Wednesday, October 24, John Crawford, of NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Los Angeles, visited UW to conduct a seminar on remote sensing. Crawford, deputy manager of JPL’s Advanced Concept Section, called Team X, spoke about the work his team does on scientific research in space. According to Crawford, Team X works to “transform science dreams into reality.” They take science objectives and transform them into viable flight missions, analyzing the science and engineering for missions in Earth’s orbit and further out in the solar system. Team X’s work focuses on remote sensing technologies — systems to map carbon sinks and sources, for example. “Our strength is really in these instruments,” Crawford said. Typical missions include Earth science research and interplanetary exploration. Team X, which has completed over 800 studies and space missions to date, is built on the concept of concurrent engineering. In concurrent engineering, diverse specialist work simultaneously to develop a mission. In the case of Team X, 30-40 individuals with a variety of expertise — from geography to astrophysics — gather in one room to design a space mission. According to Crawford, Team X can complete design of a space mission in one to three days. They use an automatically integrated system of computers, each dedicated to one subsystem of the mission, to design a viable mission. “At the end of the

day,” said Crawford, “we have to have closure. Everything has to sync up.” In other words, the cost of the mission has to be in equilibrium with the science, and if it not, the mission is scrapped. The typical timeline for a mission, from conception to launch, is 10 years. “The reason [missions] take a long time to do is because they’re extraordinarily complex and there is large amounts of money at stake,” said Crawford. First, proposals must be approved by NASA, which typically takes up to two years. Design, testing and review consume the rest of the time. “We try to prepare five to six years ahead of time for concepts [for missions],” said Crawford. Due to the lengthy timeline, most technology launched into space is not new technology. The project design is frozen after the first phase of the project — about three to five years in. Design freeze, Crawford says, helps reduce the inherent risks in these missions. “Every aspect of a space mission has risk,” said Crawford. He identified a number of potential risk areas — everything from gravitational anomalies to financial risks. The technology itself is also a

Jen Stanfel

potential source of risk. “They’re just like launching a human being,” Crawford said, concerning the instruments his team designs and builds. “They’re very complex robots.” The machines must be able to perform a number of different functions, from navigating in space, to sending and receiving data, to modulating the temperature of sensitive components. Due to the large financial investment involved in launching a piece of technology into space, JPL’s projects are often secondary launches. Essentially, they hitchhike on NASA’s larger payloads, such as giant satellites. According to Crawford, this is possible because these payloads typically have more launch capability than what is used by the satellites. JPL must launch their instruments this way because they can’t afford to launch them themselves. According to Crawford, a launch vehicle alone costs $70 million. To launch a brick into space would be an additional $35 to $40 million; JPL’s instruments are much bigger and much more complex. The complete project can cost up to hundreds of millions, or even billions, of dollars. “Nothing under $200 million is done [at JPL],” Crawford said. Crawford, who graduated from UW’s geography program in 1977, also spoke about the importance of geography in his field. Within Team X, geographers can find places in areas such as mission design, trajectory and visualization, among others. “Geography is just the system engineering of Earth,” he said. araw@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

The October 20th, 2007 issue of the NewScientist describes what could potentially become the common treatment to certain forms of infections, especially from viruses such as HIV. Researchers at the University of Massachusetts and Yale University are working on ways to convince viruses to enter decoy cells where they are captured and unable to replicate or infect healthy tissue. Viruses cannot reproduce individually as they do not have the tools to do so; instead they invade healthy live cells where they hijack their cellular machinery in order to form new virus particles. These new particles are then set free from the infected cell where they each in turn seek out their own cell to invade, and the process begins anew. If the virus invades a cell that lacks the cellular machinery to create new particles, then the virus is out of luck and is stuck within this makeshift prison. The idea is to create decoy cells with surface receptors that entice viruses to invade them. Once the virus has entered the decoy, they find that there is no cellular machinery and therefore impossible to replicate. Also, viruses cannot escape the decoy because a single virus lacks the ability to burst out of a cell. The end result is a virus that has lost its ability to cause harm. This form of treating viral infections could be effective, but probably not curative. Simply reducing the number of active viruses in circulation would give the immune system a clear advantage that could be enough to fight off the infection. The idea of trapping pathogens is not new and one simple example is mucous. The majority of the upper airway in humans is always covered in mucous, which is a sticky liquid that functions as a pathogen trap. Mucous is continually pushed out of the lower part of the airway towards and past the trachea and effectively out of the airway. Another possible natural pathogen trap is red blood cells. These cells have the same surface receptors as other cells; however, they have a very limited assortment of cellular machinery, and they are certainly not enough to produce new viral particles. Researchers believe that red blood cells evolved to play the additional role of cellular trap to certain pathogens. In an attempt to test this hypothesis, scientists modified the red blood cells of mice to contain a surface receptor specific for a type of pathogenic bacteria. Then both the modified and natural mice were infected with the bacteria, and their outcomes were recorded. The modified mice were able to fight off the pathogen significantly better than the natural mice. This goes to show that using red blood cells as pathogen-storing structures is effective; however, it has not explicitly proven that they do play this role in nature. An in-

teresting note is that people who are born with irregular red blood cells that are missing certain surface receptors show no ill effect of the mutation. Red blood cells are the perfect natural structure to use as a pathogen trap. They naturally don’t have the required cellular machinery, they have access to almost every part of the body, and they have a short lifespan (120 days), meaning the captured pathogen will soon be destroyed. Infusing blood into people has its own challenges; compound that with the need to alter the cells to fight an infection makes the task too complicated for scientists. Instead they are looking to nanoparticles to take up the job. Creating these miniature structures with the appropriate surface receptors could be remarkably simple, meaning large stockpiles may be generated for mass population treatment. They also have the added benefit of potentially being able to cross the blood-brain barrier (which red blood cells cannot). This means infections involving the brain could become simpler to treat. Scientists also hope that viruses will be unable to evolve a mechanism to evade the cellular traps. This is very important as the reason antibiotics are failing today is because of the ability of pathogens to mutate and become resistant to the treatment. Researchers believe that if the virus evolves and is not specific to the surface receptor employed by the decoy, then the virus is also not specific to the natural cell it originally invades. However very little work has been done to see whether this is the case. Although treatments involving specially designed nanoparticles or human made pathogen traps are only on the horizon, this form of treatment is a new addition to the arsenal against infectious pathogens. fnaqib@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Science

For the not so Nobel

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Scientists receive awards for the most ridiculous and practically useless discoveries in science Luke Govia reporter

It’s that time of the year again. In the far off land of Sweden, the Nobel Prize winners for 2007 have been being announced. It is a time for the world to commemorate the greatest and most influential achievements of science, and let them overshadow the not so great and rather mundane achievements of many of the world’s scientists. Yet, all science is valuable, so where are the awards for those scientists who choose not to study giant magnetoresistance or modify the genetic code of mice, but instead spend their lives trying to answer age old questions like, “Why do shower curtains blow inwards when the shower is in use?” They exist, and they are called the Ig Noble Prizes. Described by Nature as “…arguably the highlight of the scientific calendar,” the Ig Noble Prizes are annual awards recognizing science that “first makes you laugh, and then makes you think.” The awards are given to what can only be considered some of the most ridiculous and practically useless discoveries in science. Here are some of this year’s winners: Medicine

Brian Witcombe of Gloucester, UK, and Dan Meyer of Antioch,

Tennessee won in the medicine category for their very edgy paper entitled, “Sword Swallowing and Its Side Effects.” More to the point, the authors seem to have come to the conclusion that it’s more dangerous to swallow swords when distracted. Finally, there is scientific evidence to support the painfully obvious. Physics

L. Mahadevan of Harvard University, USA and Enrique Cerda Villablanca of Universidad de Santiago de Chile won in the physics category for getting out of bed long enough to study how their sheets become wrinkled. Perhaps when writing their paper, “Geometry and Physics of Wrinkling,” they were attempting to bore enough people to sleep that they could expand their test subject base. Chemistry

Mayu Yamamoto of the International Medical Centre of Japan won in the chemistry category for discovering how to extract vanillin — the flavour of vanilla — from that cook book favourite, cow dung. Now we can not only grow our food in bull shit, but we can eat it, too. Linguistics

Juan Manuel Toro, Josep Trobalon and Núria Sebastián-Gallés, of Universitat de Barcelona won in the linguistics category for ratifying

courtesy Wilson Shek

what every Dutch-Japanese bilingual rat owner had suspected for ages: their beloved vermin cannot tell the difference between Dutch and Japanese, when spoken backwards. Actually, they only showed that rats sometimes cannot tell the two languages apart. Their paper, however, did not imply that rats are more intelligent than the average

non-Dutch/Japanese human, who can seldom ever tell the difference between the two languages. Economics

Kuo Cheng Hsieh, of Taichung, Taiwan won in the economics category for patenting a device in 2001 that, if deployed, will make bank robbery even less of a threat than it

is now. It is, according to Mr. Hsieh, very simple to stop a bank robber; you simply drop a net over them. Surprisingly, few banks have adopted this captivating idea. For more info on the Ig Noble Prizes, and for links to all the papers mentioned in this article, visit http://improbable.com.

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Adrienne Raw science editor

Wormhole could make object invisible

A group of mathematicians have recently devised a way to build a device that would create an electromagnetic wormhole. The wormhole would not be a theoretical bend in space and time — the common definition of a wormhole — but instead, an actual tunnel that would render objects inside it electromagnetically invisible. The appearance of invisibility would be created through the use of metamaterials — artificial substances with uniquely engineered properties. When light is bent around a surface coated in a particular material, the sur-

face becomes invisible. Scientists have extended studies on metamaterials conducted by Duke University researchers into creating a three-dimensional invisibility tunnel. Research is currently underway to develop the precise metamaterials needed to create such a tunnel. Mass-extinction study presents new worries for scientists

A new statistical study of fossil records done by British researchers has revealed that whenever the temperature of the world’s tropical seas rises by several degrees, the Earth experiences mass extinctions. The chief concern of scientists is that this kind of dramatic extinction may happen again — and within only several decades. Four of the five major extinctions in the Earth’s history, the study reveals, have been linked to warmer tropical seas. The study concludes that lower temperatures result in more biodiversity, while higher temperatures result in more species dying. Scientists warn that the Earth is on track to experience the same level of mass-extinction in about 100 years, unless greenhouse-gas emissions are curbed. Neanderthals may have had capability of speech

Genetic evidence, recovered by biologist Svante Paabo from two Neanderthal specimens found in northern Spain, has revealed that the archaic human species had the critical gene underlying speech capabilities. Previous anthropological theory suggests that speech developed in modern human species some 50,000 years ago, long after they evolutionary line diverged from the Neanderthals. Paabo’s research, however, suggests that the gene, called FOXP2, may have developed as early as 350,000 years ago — before modern human and Neanderthal lineages split apart. Though Neanderthals and humans share the same gene, it does not prove that Neanderthals had human-like language. There are many other genes that are also involved in the creation of speech, but scientists believe, based on genetic research in mice, that Neanderthals likely had rudimentary speech capabilities. — with files from National Geographic News, The Seattle Times and San Francisco Chronicle araw@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Sports

sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Waterloo still young but growing Fixing Sports David Klaponski sports editor

The student response to my feature last week was great. Many of you responded with comments on the hurdles for athletics at Waterloo. Some major things that people thought were issues are things like a lack of premiere athletic facilities, weak athletics scholarship incentives and a weakness in the culture of sport at Waterloo. With these complex issues at the forefront of many students’ minds, I thought the best person to talk to would be the person in charge of athletics at Waterloo, the athletic director, Judy McCrae. McCrae has been the director of UW athletics since 1994 and is a seasoned athletics professional. This week the focus here is on funding of facilities. I asked McCrae what she thought of the issue of sports at Waterloo and, as you would probably expect, her response was quite contrary to the response of many students last week. What McCrae did agree on was that it is difficult to garner funding for athletics at Waterloo. “One thing you have to understand is that the university gets no money that isn’t academically hooked,” she said. So if students were thinking that building a stadium and then simply selling the naming rights to a powerful Waterloo based tech company would be an easy solution, then think again. If a company like RIM wanted to donate million dollars to the university, which I’m sure they have donated already, it would probably better be spent on training CS students or building a tech building instead of a football stadium. Even beyond a stadium, which is a monumental project, the development of a 50-metre swimming pool would also be a massive operation that would be nice to have, but is definitely not the number one priority for the university’s Athletics and Recreation department.

“If you are looking at building a stadium, the bare bones would be 10 million; if you are looking at a 50-metre Olympic-sized swimming pool, you are looking at 20 million,” commented McCrae. McCrae clarified the things that they have been doing to improve the facilities at UW: “We try to stay upgraded, you can tell. We had to redo the gym floors, we added the [CIF] fitness center and upgrade the one [at the PAC].” While a 400-metre track may be an easier facility to build, remember that we live in Waterloo, and building an outdoor track would perhaps be a waste of money during the winter months when the track would be covered in snow and ice. Therefore, an indoor track would be the best prospect, but even that would cost several million dollars and would be difficult to swing without a large amount of funding. So from where then does money for athletics facilities come? First of all, student services funding is number one. If the students services decide to allocate funding to building a facility then it becomes a lot easier. This is how the new Laurier athletics facility was built. Secondly, acquiring external funding is difficult. Things like the Windsor track and field complex or the new McMaster stadium complex enjoyed private funding. The McMaster project cost is $43 million total, with a $30 million athletics facility and a $13 million stadium. Students contributed $20 million for the Athletics & Recreation complex. $10 million, plus the entire $13 million stadium price tag is coming from private support. Finally, the biggest issue is alumni support. Being a young university, the University of Waterloo does not have the same alumni support as many universities such as the University of Toronto or Queen’s University. I asked McCrae directly if alumni support was one of the major sticking points to increasing the capabilities of Waterloo’s athletics facilities. “Absolutely… it’s a big deal,” she quickly responded. “Our alumni are so young, literally 50 years, and only so many of them

Season fumbled as playoff hopes get dashed by UWO Yang Liu assistant sports editor

jenn serec

The Warriors, seen here in practice, fell 37-3 to UWO in the season’s final game.

Heading into this past weekend, the Warriors still clung to hopes for the sixth and final OUA playoff spot. A do-or-die showdown with the Western Mustangs would decide whether the Warriors would make the playoffs for the first time in four seasons. The Warrior defense stifled Western and lead 3-0 heading into the second quarter, and held to them to just six points going into half-time. However, the second half was a completely different story as Western dominated with running back Randy McAuley. A four yard TD run by Mcauley in the third quarter would be the first major scored in the game. Just minutes later receiver David Clayton would add another TD on a great 24 yard pass from QB Michael Faulds. McAuley would score again in the fourth quarter as Western cruised to a 37-3 win and secured the final OUA playoff spot. The loss dropped the Warriors’ final record to 3-5 after starting the season 3-0 and breaking the CIS top ten ranking. The loss to cross-town rivals Laurier ended the Warriors’ unbeaten run. The Warriors never recovered and proceeded to lose the remaining four games by a combined score of 162-34. While the season ended on a sour note, the young football team hopes the experiences of this season will be able to propel them to the playoffs next year. yliu@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

yang liu

The Warrior athletics office is located in the PAC. are now capable in their lives of being able to provide some money,” added McCrae. But things seem to be looking up for Waterloo in the future, especially with the recent 50th anniversary of the university. “The 50th anniversary for us athletically was a big deal. It was used to set the platform for the future, and we feel really good about that; I am already seeing and hearing good things about that, which will serve us well in the future,” said McCrae. “I think that you will be hard-pressed to find another university, athletically, that is as far along in 50 years as we are,” argued McCrae. And perhaps she is correct, the university

is still young. Has all this around us been built in only 50 years? I guess that is quite the accomplishment and something of which to be proud. But is that something we should be satisfied with? Or should we as students always be wanting more from our school? Should we be taking the next step — asking not just for most improved athletics program in 50 years, but for the best ever? Is that too much to ask for from our school? I think not. What do you think of athletics at the University of Waterloo? E-mail your comments to us or take part in the online discussion at Imprint Online (htttp://imprint.uwaterloo.ca). dklapons@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Are you looking for a well rounded leadership experience? Do you want to plan events, manage volunteers, market to students and truly impact the student life at UW? If yes, then please apply to be a Warrior Weekends Director! As one of a team of directors you will be responsible for assisting in the planning and running of the monthly events, recruiting and retaining of volunteers, marketing and publicizing events and much more. Strong interpersonal and leadership skills are an asset. Successful candidates must be full time registered undergraduate or graduate students (including co-op) in good academic standing and must be available for the Winter 2008 term. For more information about the position and the job description visit: www.warriorweekends.uwaterloo.ca

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Friday November 9th, 2008

For further information please contact: Cora Dupuis, Student Life Coordinator: First-year Experience Student Life Office, Needles Hall 1121 (519) 888-4567 ext. 35643 cedupuis@admmail.uwaterloo.ca

Sports

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Badminton team continues to smash the birds David Klaponski sports editor

For the fifth straight year, the University of Waterloo badminton team look poised for another OUA showdown for the championship finals versus the University of Western Ontario. Last year the Warriors lost to the strong Western team 7-6 in the finals. This year, they hope to finally defeat the Mustangs team that has won three of the last four OUA titles. The only loss coming at the hands of the Warriors in the 2004-2005 season. So far this season, the Warriors have won all three match-ups in style, defeating York, McMaster and Toronto by large margins of victory. “It was pretty impressive to see the two scores over York and Mac, I didn’t think that they were going to be that much of a blowout” said coach Chris Erven. With a team half made up of rookies, the opening three wins have been quite impressive for Waterloo. But although the team is filled with several rookies, they still have a great opportunity to win gold this season. At practice, Erven likes to focus on fitness. Due to the short season and proximity to the summer, many players come in out of top form. To work on skills during the one-and-a-half-month season becomes difficult and is better focused on in the off season. “We try to make sure their fitness is up, get them consistent, and make sure they are mentality prepared” said Erven. And being consistent is a huge part in any racket sport. Even the best tennis or badminton players can be beat on one or two points but it is

David Klaponski

The University of Waterloo badminton team faces the reigning OUA champions the Western Mustangs on October 27. the consistency that keeps them on top. If Waterloo wants to beat the Western team this season, then they will have to be consistent. Also, Erven stressed how important it was to be mentally prepared for the OUA season. Since the game is more focused on team play in the OUA, many players need to switch their mental focus once they come to university play. This allows for both advantages for the weaker

teams and challenges for the stronger players who need to play more as a team in order to defeat competing universities. A good example of this was last year’s finals where Waterloo, who lost to Western by a large margin in the regular season, made some organizational changes to who plays whom and they closed the gap to just one point losing a close one 7-6. This year, Western has also won

all their games this season, beating Ryerson, York and McMaster in similar dominant fashion as the Warrior’s first three wins. They have many returning players and are looking to take their third straight championship on November 17 at the Ryerson University campus. The final two match-ups of the season in the six team league are against Western and Ryerson. While the Western match-up on October

27 will be a possible prequel to the finals, Ryerson will be trying hard to break up the UW-UWO get together on their home court. The Warriors face off against the Ryerson Rams on November 3. A win over the Warriors or even Western seems unlikely, since the Rams have not even made the playoffs in the past four years. dklapons@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Sports

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

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Sports

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Football OUA Ottawa Laurier Queen’s McMaster Western Guelph Waterloo Windsor York Toronto

GP 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

W 8 7 6 5 4 4 3 2 1 0

L 0 1 2 3 4 4 5 6 7 8

Men’s Hockey OUA T 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

PTS 16 14 12 10 8 8 6 4 2 0

*Top six teams make the playoffs while the top two get a first round bye

Women’s Hockey OUA Guelph York Windsor Laurier Toronto Queen’s Western Brock Waterloo UOIT

GP 7 7 6 5 5 7 6 7 5 7

W 6 5 5 4 3 2 2 1 1 0

L 1 2 1 1 1 3 2 6 4 6

T OTL PTS 0 11 0 0 0 10 0 0 10 0 8 0 0 7 1 2 6 0 2 6 0 0 2 0 0 2 0 0 1 1

Men’s Soccer OUA West Division GP Carleton 14 Toronto 14 Queen’s 14 Nipissing 14 Laurentian 14 Ryerson 14 Trent 14 RMC 14

W 13 8 6 5 5 3 2 2

L 0 3 4 6 8 8 6 9

T 1 3 4 3 1 3 6 3

GF GA PTS 40 7 40 25 10 27 22 16 22 9 16 18 12 17 16 11 18 12 6 17 12 9 33 9

East Division GP York 14 Western 14 Brock 14 Laurier 14 Windsor 14 Guelph 14 Waterloo 14 McMaster 14

W 11 9 6 6 6 4 2 1

L 1 1 4 5 7 7 10 10

T 2 4 4 3 1 3 2 3

GF GA PTS 32 8 35 18 4 31 21 14 22 18 16 21 21 25 19 18 24 15 10 31 8 11 27 6

*Top six teams in each division make the playoffs while the top two get a first round bye. Waterloo misses out on the playoffs.

Far East Division GP 4 3 5 4 4

Concordia UQTR Carleton Ottawa McGill

W 3 2 2 2 1

L 1 0 2 2 2

T OTL PTS 0 0 6 0 1 5 0 1 5 0 0 4 0 1 3

Far West Division GP 5 4 5 4 3

Waterloo Western Lakehead Laurier Windsor

W 3 3 3 2 0

L 2 1 2 2 3

Men’s Hockey CIF Arena

Men’s Volleyball PAC Main Gym

Waterloo vs. Windsor Lancers 7:30 p.m. Friday, October 26

Waterloo vs. Windsor Lancers - October 26 Waterloo vs. Western Mustangs - October 27 Waterloo vs. Laurier Hawks - October 31 *all games at 8 p.m.

T OTL PTS 0 0 6 0 0 6 0 0 6 0 0 4 0 0 0

Badminton PAC Gym 3

Mid East Division GP 5 5 2 4

RMC Queen’s Ryerson Toronto

W 3 2 1 1

L 2 2 1 3

T OTL PTS 0 0 6 0 1 5 0 0 2 0 0 2

Mid West Division Brock Guelph York UOIT

GP 6 5 4 4

W 5 3 2 0

L 0 1 0 3

Waterloo vs. Western Mustangs 10 a.m. Saturday, October 27

Women’s Volleyball PAC Main Gym Waterloo vs. Windsor Lancers - October 26 Waterloo vs. Western Mustangs - October 27 Waterloo vs. Laurier Hawks - October 31 *all games at 6 p.m.

T OTL PTS 0 1 11 0 1 7 0 2 6 0 1 1

Women’s Soccer OUA West Division GP Ottawa 14 Toronto 14 Queen’s 14 Carleton 14 Ryerson 14 RMC 14 Laurentian 14 Trent 14 Nipissing 14

W 13 9 8 9 5 3 2 2 1

L 2 1 1 5 6 9 7 11 10

T 1 6 7 2 5 4 7 3 5

Campus graphic courtesy of Linda Lin

GF GA PTS 41 6 40 27 5 33 26 4 31 29 15 29 16 26 20 17 38 13 12 23 13 7 36 9 11 33 8

East Division York Laurier McMaster Brock Western Waterloo Guelph Windsor

GP 14 14 14 14 14 14 14 14

W 13 7 6 5 5 4 4 0

L 1 4 3 4 6 7 7 12

T 0 3 5 5 3 3 3 2

GF GA PTS 37 4 39 23 16 24 22 15 23 18 14 20 16 13 18 14 27 15 12 22 15 4 35 2

University of Waterloo Campus

*Top six teams in each division make the playoffs while the top two get a first round bye.

Presents

THIS WEEK IN ATHLETICS

WARRIOR FIELD HOCKEY

WARRIOR SOCCER

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 vs Guelph Gryphons 5:00 PM, University Stadium

Saturday, October 21, 2006 vs Brock Badgers [M] 1:00 PM, [W] 3:00 PM UW North Campus

WARRIOR [W] HOCKEY Friday, October 20, 2006 vs Western Mustangs 7:30 PM, UW CIF Arena Sunday, October 22, 2006 vs Windsor Lancers 2:00 PM, UW CIF Arena

Saturday, October 21

vs vs York York Lions Lions 2:00 2:00 PM, PM, University University Stadium Stadium

FOOTBALL

WARRIOR [M] HOCKEY Saturday, October 21, 2006 vs Western Mustangs 7:30 PM, UW CIF Arena

WARRIOR [W] VOLLEYBALL Wednesday, October 25, 2006 vs York Lions 7:00 PM, UW PAC Gym

ATHLETES OF THE WEEK

IMPRINT | OCTOBER 13

Matt Kieswetter | [M] Basketall

Sarah Bryson | [W] Hockey

Matt , a fifth year Arts student from Waterloo, Ontario lead the Warriors to a second place finish at the 39th annual Naismith Classic. Matt had 51 points and 13 rebounds in three games at the tournament. Matt had a career high 25 points Friday night in a tough overtime loss to Acadia. Throughout the tournament Matt's leadership and timely baskets kept the Warriors in all of the games. Matt was also named to the Naismith Tournament All-star team.

Sarah, a third year Arts student from Kitchener, Ontario led the Warriors in a tough overtime loss against Brock and a convincing win against the # 5 ranked Toronto Varsity Blues this weekend. Sarah scored once against Brock and was named player of the game and added 2 goals and 2 assists against Toronto to give her a 5 point weekend. Sarah has got off to a quick start for the Warriors and hopes to continue this strong play as the women's hockey team hosts the Western Mustangs on Friday night. With her 5-point weekend, Sarah currently leads the OUA in scoring.

Registered trademarks of Boston Pizza Royalties Limited Partnership, used under license. © Boston Pizza International Inc. 2005

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rugby team vies for provincial title Warrior women off to nationals Taylor Schnaeringer inprint intern

The UW womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rugby team dominated the field during their semi final game against Trent University, on Friday, October 19 in Peterborough. With a winning score of 17-15 for UW they are heading to OUA finals against Western. By making it to finals, UW locked in their place at nationals next weekend. Not only did the womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rugby team play against the number one team in the Russell division but also had only a team of twenty-one ready for the field. Coach Eric Ciezar worries about the this weeks game, â&#x20AC;&#x153;our big problem is we are down on injuries, and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think many will be back for finals.â&#x20AC;? Four Warrior starters and two rookies were out due to injuries. The 7:00 p.m. game started off great for the Warriors, they came out strong and with quick thinking. The Warriors biggest battle was the Trent flyhalf that had a superb kick and forced the Warriors back to their own try line every chance they could. With the backs running strong and the forwards holding their own it seemed like an even match. Just after the ten-minute mark, team captain Diane Kelly, also named MVP for Sheils division, took a penalty kick for the Warriors, which resulted in a try by rookie center back Mandi Gillies. The Warriors again broke away from Trent as veteran scrum half Nicola Holmes managed to snatch the ball to the backs for a great play. Caitlin Martin a veteran centre and top team scorer gave the Warriors the second try. Team Prop Lisa Kelly gave a great conversion kick giving UW two more points leaving the score 12-0 for the Warriors. As pressure mounted, Trent began to play some aggressive defense that resulted in UW losing the ball and allowing Trent a try and kick bringing the score to 12-7. Thirty-eight minutes into the game, Kelly again managed to

burst through Trentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s barrier and scored a try giving the Warriors a well-deserved lead. In the second half, Trent seemed to have revised their playing strategy and came out on the field with more force than before. The Warriors struggled to hold onto their lead as Trent continued with the kicks toward the Warrior try line giving the UW no chance to catch their breath. The Warriors became tired as the scrums began to weaken and rucks became slower as they struggled to hold on. As Trent pushed toward the Warrior try line, the Warriors with amazing determination held them up three times before Trent finally broke through with a drop goal giving them three more points. Trent seemed unphased when they again broke through the line, taking a try. Luckily for the Warriors, Trent missed their conversion kick leaving the score 17-15 for the Warriors. By the end of the second half, the Warriors were fighting to keep the lead as Trent tried to force a try, but in the end UW was victorious leaving Peterborough with a 17-15 win. The OUA finals are Saturday October 27 at 1:00 p.m. against the Western Mustangs. The Warriors are hoping that this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s game will not be a repeat of the last time they faced the Mustangs, which resulted in a 41-8 loss for the Warriors, this was the only loss for the Warriors this season. The Mustangs with over 90 per cent of their players either playing nationally or provincially are an extremely strong team. The hope at UW is that the Warriors determination and drive will be enough to take it all. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The girls have been a pleasure to work with and extremely good to each other. They bonded well this year, they are enthusiastic about playing and they wont back down during a game,â&#x20AC;? said Ciezar. No matter what the outcome for the OUA game, however, both teams will be advancing to the nationals. Nationals will take place on the weekend of November 2 to November 4 in London. UW placed fifth last year. tshnaeringer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Sports 25 Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rugby reaches OUA playoffs

Courtesy of UW Rugby team

Waterloo faces off against the UWO Mustangs in their quarterfinal match this weekend. Taylor Schnaeringer imprint intern

The UW menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rugby teams pulled off a win last Saturday with a 13-11 score over the OUA champion McMaster Marauders. Making their school proud, finishing up the regular season, and moving on to quarterfinals has left this team nothing but ready to go. UW prop Mike Aasen had this to say about the game: â&#x20AC;&#x153;McMasterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s game plan was to run it straight down our throats, and wear us out, hit us up tight, we defended well, stopped them at every opportunity, never broke the gain line.â&#x20AC;? McMaster finished the regular season in first place in the West Division. UW starts off their OUA quarterfinals this Saturday against Western starting at noon. The strong wind last Saturday helped UW as soon as the Marauders kicked off, with the ball only covering ten feet, the Warriors managed to gain some major ground. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We won the game through some really tough defence,â&#x20AC;? said captain Adrian Lui. UW forwards had to put up a strong barrier as McMasterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s backs fought to break

through. Marauderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s support system seemed to be lagging, as there were only one-person breakaways. Warriors were all over fumbled balls and kicking them back toward the Marauderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s try line. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our kicker Matt Solomon was very clutch going three for three on the night,â&#x20AC;? said Lui. UW was able to take a strong lead in the first half alone as the Marauders struggled to close the gap. As second half started the Warriors held a firm defence and had good ball possession defence in spite of the wind. The only points that the Marauders managed to get in the second half were two field goals giving UW the win at 13-11 score. The first game of the menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s season during frosh week gave a peek into what the Warriors season would be like. With four different players achieving tryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and beating the Guelph Gryphons 38-10, it showed a promising season. The biggest loss of the Warrior season was to the Western Mustangs in a grueling game on September 27. Though the Warriors lost 58-17 there was one amazing play at the end of the game with a strong run from Zach Bentley

as he set-up the last scorer of the game Mark Goody and a convert by captain Adrian Lui. Warriors also beat the Windsor Lancers on October 5 with a score of 27-13. In the first half it looked like the Warriors may lose with 8-0 for Windsor until the second half, the Warriors seemed revived and awake as they took over the field. With this game leaving them 2-2 in the standings and two more games to go before quarterfinals. The Warriors game against RMC was one that looked great on the scoreboard for Warriors as they left the field with a 27-0 victory. Individual efforts by Zack Bentley, Andy Bauer, Dan Jilek, Jeff Robinson, Matt Winton and Kyle Pinto made his debut as a Warrior during the game. As the Warriors move on to the quarterfinals with four wins and two losses, they are already doing better than what they had accomplished last year with their four wins and four losses. With the Warrior determination and pride that they show in every game will be an even match to Westernâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s aggressiveness and strategy as they take them on this weekend.

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Sports

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soccer season ends on high note

Richard Lu

Despite a rough season, the Warrior menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s soccer team was able to close the season with a win over the playoff bound Windsor Lancers. With a decent finish to the season, some wonder what went wrong with the team this year. While the team obviously needed to gel early on in the season, it was tough for them and they went through several different starting line-ups. Finally the team switched to a 4-5-1 formation with a high central midfielder, usually third year player Jimmy Murphy, and started to get it together. Third year forward Chris Wilson believes that the team finally gelled at the end of the season and thinks that they can look forward to a successful season next year. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think now that weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve molded a knit group of players together, that we now can focus on reaching our goals next year,â&#x20AC;? said Wilson. He went on to add that he thinks the team will be one of the top teams in the division next season. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t reached the goals that we wanted to achieve yet, but I definitely feel that we are on the right path and next year the sky

David Klaponski sports editor

When the Waterloo menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s varsity soccer team went into the final weekend versus Western and Windsor they already knew that they would be missing the playoffs for the second straight year. After a 0-8-1 start to the season, the Warriors knew they would not make a big splash in the OUA this year. But with some new blood added to the line-up and a reinvigorated attitude, the Warriors finally got it together and scraped together a 2-2-1 record over the final five matches. In the final weekend, the Warriors lost 1-0 to the number two ranked Western Mustangs. They then went on to play the Windsor Lancers and won 2-1 in a dominant performance. Chris Lam scored his team leading fifth goal of the season off of a rebound from a Christian Rosa blast while Jimmy Murphy tallied a goal off of some sloppy defending by the Windsor Lancers.

is the limit. We will definitely be one of the top four teams next season.â&#x20AC;? Wilson was the only Waterloo forward to score a goal in a season where goals were hard to come by for the Warriors. Wilson scored in the final minutes of the Warriors first tie game against Windsor at Columbia Ice Fields back in the second game of the season. Besides simply winning or los-

David Klaponski sports editor

The Waterloo womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s varsity soccer edged into the playoffs on the weekend with a nil-nil tie in the final game of the season down in Windsor. With the tie, the Warriors finished the season in the sixth and final playoff spot and were set up to face McMaster University on Wednesday at 2:30 p.m. McMaster, who finished the season in third place

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with a 6-3-5, hosted the Warriors in Hamilton. The game started off tight, and it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t until around the 20th minute when second year player Breanne Fron knocked one against the cross bar that play started to open up. Jaclyn Huiskamp then came close after blasting a shot just wide near the edge of the 18 yards box. As the halftime whistle blew, the game was tied 0-0. The second half started poorly for the Warriors, and they found themselves down 1-0 after 50 minutes. But even though they were losing they pushed on. â&#x20AC;&#x153;All credit to the girls; after we conceded the [first] goal we kept playingâ&#x20AC;? commented Coach Peter Mackie. After conceding the goal, the Warriors pushed hard for an equalizer. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We went away from a 4-5-1 after the first goal and pushed a second and third player up.â&#x20AC;? As often happens when you take risks like that in sports, they can backfire. In the 68th minute, the Warriors conceded a second goal and couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t put one of their own in the back of the McMaster net.

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;The game opened up and we got caught,â&#x20AC;? said Mackie, who spoke after the long bus ride home from Hamilton. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The score is not indicative of how well we played; we were in the game to the very end,â&#x20AC;? added Mackie. The 2-0 loss kicks the Warriors out of the playoffs and sends them home early. Always considered a playoff-bound team, the women expected more out of themselves but were not totally distraught after the loss. The mood seemed very relaxed following the return to Columbia Ice Field on Wednesday night. Although the team is now looking to rebuild a fair bit next year after losing some key players, they will still have some quality players returning such as Breanne Fron, Rebecca Stewart and rookie Kelsey Abbott. No matter what the future holds, the Warriors will be looking to improve on their 4-7-3 record this year. As well, they will try to work on their defence, which had 27 goals against, second worst in the division. Good luck next year, Warriors.

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ment of enjoyment, losing teams often fall apart before they have a chance to turn things around. The Warriors last playoff appearance was in 2005 where they beat Queenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the first round but were blown out by the number one ranked Western Mustangs 4-0 in the quarterfinals. Train hard in the off-season guys and good luck next year!

Women blasted out of playoffs

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ing, the team has molded in the second half of the season and often that is a far more important aspect in team sports for success than simply winning results. Wilson went on to comment about his experience with the team, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Soccer has been one of the best experiences at university for me.â&#x20AC;? This is a good thing for Warrior soccer and bodes well for the future of Warrior soccer. Without an ele-

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Classifieds HELP WANTED

Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Part-time employment available. Fun, games, sports and crafts with after-school children at Laurelwood Public School. Short walk from UW. Interested persons should leave message at 519-741-8997.

TUTORS

Calculus/physics tutor. First year level. One to two hours per week, $15 per hour. Meet on campus. Start ASAP. Please reply to lujohn@region. waterloo.on.ca

SERVICES

Contrast Photography offers affordble, creative photography services for weddings, modeling, events, advertising and editorial assignments. Please contact: Simona Cherler at 519-722-9206 or browse www.contrastphotography.net.

HOUSING Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Perry at 519-746-1411 for more details.

Campus Bulletin CAREER SERVICES

CHURCH SERVICE

Monday, October 29, 2007 “Special Session for International Students” – you will learn best approaches to search for work, from 4:30 to 6 p.m., TC 1208. Tuesday, October 30, 2007 “Exploring Your Personality Type - Part I” – learn about your personality type and preferences for learning and decision making, from 2:30 to 4 p.m., TC 1112. Wednesday, October 31, 2007 “Career Exploration and Decision Making” – increase your understanding of the career decision-making process, from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., TC 1112.

St. Bede’s chapel at Renison College offers worship on Sundays at 10:30 a.m. and 4 p.m. or take a break mid-week with a brief silence followed by Celtic noon prayers on Wednesdays. Come and walk the labyrinth the second Thursday of each month, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. For more info contact Megan at 519-884-4404, ext 28604 or www.renison. uwaterloo.ca/ministry-centre.

STUDENT AWARDS FINANCIAL AID

2nd floor, Needles Hall, ext 33583. October 30: Last day to submit Undergraduate Bursary Applications for fall & winter term. November 1: Recommended submission date for OSAP Rollover Form to add winter term to fall only term. November 2: Deadline to sign Confirmation of Enrollment for Canada Millennium Bursary. Please check our website, safa.uwaterloo.ca for a full listing of scholarships and awards.

UPCOMING

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 An evening of interaction and enlightenment featuring accomplished women in leadership positions, from 5 to 8 p.m., Accelerator Centre, Main Foyer, 295 Hagey Blvd., (UW), Waterloo. For info 519-513-2414 or kspiess@infusionangels.com. Wednesday, October 31, 2007 Warrior Men’s Hockey Pep Rally in the Arts Quad 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. All students, faculty and staff are welcome as we get ready to take on WLU November 4 at 7:30 p.m. in the Battle of Waterloo. Wednesday, November 7, 2007 Women’s Crisis Services is holding a presentation with keynote speaker Robert Alexander at 5:30 p.m. at St. George Banquet Hall. RSVP Shelly.Friesen@wcswr.org or 519-653-2289 ext 239. Thursday, November 1, 2007 UW Speech Communication invites you to the seventh annual Career Night, with keynote speakers, world cafe and much more from 7 to 9:30 p.m. in South Campus Hall, Festival Room. Free event. Rotunda Gallery presents “River - Lenka Novakova.” Kitchener City Hall, 200 King St., W., Kitchener. For more info 519-741-3400, ext 3381. Friday, November 2, 2007 ACCKWA (AIDS Committeeof Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo & Area) On-line Charity Auction from November 2 to 11 on eBay.ca. For more info call Lynn at 519-570-3687. Friday, November 9, 2007 2007 Impact Leadership Conference. Learn, participate and network with accomplished and future business leaders. Ends on Sunday November 11, 2007. Apply at http://conference. impact.org.

VOLUNTEER Volunteer with a child at their school and help improve their self-esteem and confidence. One to three hours a week commitment. Call Canadian Mental Health 519-744-7645, ext 229. Participants required for anterior cruciateligament (ACL) deficiency study – the Biomechanics Laboratory is seeking volunteers who have had a ruptured anterior cruciate ligament (ACL). Remuneration will be given for your participation. For info please contact Chris by e-mail at cjstecro@uwaterloo.ca. City of Waterloo, 519-888-6488 or volunteer@ city.waterloo.on.ca has the following volunteer opportunities: “Tree of Angels helpers” – needed at Conestoga Mall for two days per week/3 hour shifts from November 30 to December 21. “Bertie’s Place” needs a volunteer assistant Thursday mornings, AMCC, from 9 to 11 a.m., now to April. Volunteer Action Centre, 519-742-8610 or www.volunteerkw.ca, has the following volunteer opportunities available: “K-W Seniors Day Program” invites applications for new Board members. Call Deanne at 519-8931609 or deanne@k-wseniorsdayprogram.ca. “Waterloo Regional Block Parent Program” looking for someone to join their Board of Directors. Contact Mark Belanger at 519741-5368 or markbelanger@gto.net. “Volunteering-Social Issues in Waterloo Region” – volunteer at the Volunteer Action Centre and Social Planning Council. Call Robin at 519-742-8610 or robin@volunteerkw.ca. “Be a Friends volunteer” – you are matched up with a child between 4 and 15 to build self esteem, confidence, etc. Call 519-744-7645, ext 229 or abelc@cmhawrb.on.ca. “Nutrition for Learning” is looking for for volunteers to join the Board of Directors team. Call Brian Kamm at 519-579-5745 or volunteermanager@on.aibn. com. “Relay for Life - Cancer Society” needs you to help with planning, leadership, food and beverage chair, etc. Call 519-886-8888, ext 33 or evoisin@ontario.cancer.ca. The Kitchener Youth Action Council is currently seeking volunteers aged 14-24 who are concerned about issues facing youth and young adults across Kitchener. For more info e-mail youth@kitchener.ca. Distress Line Volenteers Wanted - Canadian Mental Health Association is seeking caring volunteers to provide supportive listening and crisis deescalation to callers living in Waterloo Region. Please call 519-744-7645, ext 300.

DEADLINE IS MONDAY AT 5 P.M. FOR CLASSIFIEDS AND CAMPUS BULLETIN, SLC, ROOM 1116 or ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint presents:

Photo Contest 2007 Imprint is looking for the images that capture the elements of social change at UW and in the community. Photos can be submitted for the following categories: 1. Diversity 2. Charity 3. Community Activism Submission deadline is November 16, 2007. Imprint will announce the winners in the November 30 edition. Submissions can be accepted via email at editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca or by dropping off a digital version of your photograph at Imprint, Student Life Centre room 1116. Please indicate the category you are entering with your submission. By entering this contest, the entrant agrees to allow for the publication of their photo(s) in Imprint and on Imprint’s accompanying web site, http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca. Contest open to UW undergraduate students currently enrolled in full-time studies in the Fall 2007 term. For further questions on contest details, email editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca.

Arts

arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Women writers take over the Jane

Britta Hallberg

Jessica Westhead reads from her work “Pulpy and Midge” Britta Hallberg arts assitant editor

Chic Waterloo bar Jane Bond was host to a book reading featuring young Canadian writers Cara Hedley and Jessica Westhead, published this fall by Coach House Books in Toronto. The relaxed, colourful evening of Monday, October 22 brought students, professors, and writers in the community to the first reading and release of Twenty Miles and Pulpy and Midge. Hot off the press this week is a piece of hockey literature with a twist. Writer Cara Hedley reflects on the quick rise of women’s hockey in Canada and the off-ice dynamic between players. Twenty Miles evokes the female hockey scene, focusing on the relationships of a team and the crass dialogue of grungy dressing rooms. A hockey player herself, Hedley wanted to represent women’s hockey through the creation of strong female characters. “I wanted to be fairly realistic,” Hedley said about the descriptive first few pages she read at Jane Bond Monday night. Though the image of a hockey arena is unattractively masculine, Hedley’s ability to beautifully describe the hum of the ice rink sets the scene for a deeper plot. Hedley approaches these experiences more sensationally. “It’s in the smell where a player can begin to get lost…” she read. The Winnipeg native explored the meaning of hockey through her main character Iz. After the reading, Hedley told Imprint “there’s a lot of questioning involved.” Much of the plot of Twenty Miles revolves around Iz finding her place on the team and discovering how she feels about the game in general. Studying both English and Canadian hockey literature, Hedley’s plot design takes readers on a journey with Iz, reflective of today’s Canadian hockey culture. Jessica Westhead read from her quirky workplace coming-of-age novel Pulpy and Midge. Excellent knowledge of her own book, accompanied by voice changes according to character dialogue, Westhead’s reading was transformed into somewhat of a theatrical experience. Extracted from the middle of the novel, the reading was awkwardly funny

in what Westhead later titled “Quiet Canadian humour.” Having much experience as a receptionist in various offices, Westhead found herself picking up on conversations and bitter circumstances that collectively led to the writing of Pulpy and Midge. The interplay of business and adult relationships is thanks to Westhead’s happiness in her own marriage, and cultural observations of others. Pulpy and Midge are a couple content in their marriage who wind up in the throws of Pulpy’s boss Dan, who squeezes himself and his wife into Pulpy and Midge’s life in hopes of a “swinging” relationship. The candid dialogue revealed innuendo, but it was in the later discussion between Imprint and Westhead that revealed the importance of healthy relationships in the plot. w“From the start”, Westhead explained, “Pulpy and Midge were a strong couple. Dan, the new boss, is manipulative, and wants to tear Pulpy and Midge apart. Pulpy doesn’t want to admit this is happening, his passivity straining his relationship with Midge.” Though she did not reveal the story in it’s entirety, Westhead spoke of the theme of the novel being reflective of the importance of love in relationships. The dry humour leaves room for the reader to fill in the awkward spaces with ideas about both couple’s relationships. On one certain occasion of Dan’s imposition in Pulpy and Midge’s home, the reader can cut the awkward innuendo with a knife. “It smells so good!” said Dan. “It’s only boiling water,” Midge replied. “Beatrice’s water never smells that good,” Dan remarked. The chuckling audience seemed intrigued by Westhead’s literary creation, and in the author’s hopes, will discover the intended relationship morals. Turning the modern cultural appeal of swinging on it’s ear, Westhead exposes the poison in Dan and Beatrice’s relationship, and Pulpy’s struggle to stand up for his marriage, even if it means going head to head with his boss. Later in the evening, a significantly deeper conversation revealed the author’s admiration for monogamous couples committed to a simple, yet satisfying relationship. Westhead ended the interview saying, “If you have a good relationship, you should fight for it.” bhallberg@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Render fuses art and science Doug Copping staff reporter

What happens when you put an artist in the same room as a physicist? Ask those in attendance of last Friday nights Render event and you will likely hear stories that combine science with aesthetics. Creativity at the Intersection of Art and Science was the name of the event, uniting fine art with the world of neutrinos, sub-atomic particles emitted from the sun. This collaboration produced a program that translated a scientific frontier into a tangible experience. This dynamic concept filled Render, the UW

art gallery located in East Campus Hall, with a broad spectrum of personalities: students, accomplished artists, teachers, and leading edge researchers to name but a few. It is no surprise why people from all walks of life are attracted to such events. Combine the academic rigor of leading-edge physics with the fine arts and you get a venue for the communication of complex ideas. You give people something intriguing to talk about. Gordon Hicks’ work not only captures your visual attention, but also provokes thought about sophisticated science and math. Composed by a point moving in harmony with a mathematical equation, the piece defines a line

in constant changing form. Placing particular attention to collaboration across the academic disciplines, this exhibit backs Renders written mandate up with action. These characteristics also align with Waterloo Unlimited, co-sponsor of the evening. Founded in 2004, Unlimited is a high school enrichment program hosted by the University of Waterloo that delivers curriculum designed to integrate knowledge from across the faculties. Their goal is to build a community of scholars armed with an interdisciplinary attitude. Rae Crossman, program director for Waterloo Unlimited, invited students, friends and families from previous programs to attend.

Observing the wide cross-section of the community present, Rae commented, “we now have for the first time, Unlimited students who have attended many of our past high school programs and are now enrolled in their first year of university here at UW. Great to see that continuity.” Reflections on the evening form the gallery curator Andrew Hunter alluded to future events of a similar nature. “Projects like the Neutrinos event with Waterloo Unlimited are a prime example of the kind of innovative collaboration I am drawn to.” dcopping@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Arts

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

IMPRINT’s reading

The Cave and Other Works Ciaran Myers Crackjaw Publishing

The Cave and Other Works is a promising beginning to UWs Ciaran Myers’ career as a play-wright and poet. A third year drama major at Waterloo, this is Myers’ first book, which was published in July 2007. Divided into two sections, the first half is a collection of poetry, while the second half is a play, entitled, The Cave. Myers’ poetry is entertaining, deep and in some cases, romantic. Religious references and undertones hint at Myers’ Catholic background. Underlying cynicism follows the reader throughout Myers’ poetry, causing one to question the value of the ephemeral life and creating a hopeful longing in the reader. For those looking for a casual light read, you will not be satisfied. The poetry demands one to read it with consideration of religious and personal application. With these considerations in mind the reader will find intense enjoyment from this work. The Cave is a play based on Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, in reference to the realm of ideal forms. Performed in February 2007, at Waterloo’s

Studio 180, the play’s script is printed here. A comprehensive explanation of Plato’s work, it creates imagery that allows for a comprehensive explanation of the Allegory of the Cave. Even for those unfamiliar with the allegory, the play will make a great introduction to Plato’s theories. The play centres around four people chained together, facing a wall. Broken into three scenes, the play follows Andrew, Ben, Carla and Stephanie as they try to understand their existence in the cave. With very little action, the dialogue is poetic and lively. Ben, a philosopher and natural leader tries to steer the others toward his own belief system. Carla is quiet and reserved, questioning her existence at the wall until she escapes her bondage for greater things. Stephanie and Andrew are merely trying to live their lives, as best as they can. Their lives consist of watching the wall, the light and shadows on the wall, and trying to decipher the meanings of it. Conflict ensues when Carla returns from life away from the wall and attempts to free her companions from their prison and their lives of watching the wall. — Cait Davidson 07.08 Season Sponsor

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Microsoft Windows Vista Guide Jason W. Eckert Thompson Course Technology

There has been a lot of talk about Microsoft Windows Vista on campus and among my friends. Most of it is negative. People who have tried it tend to hate it, and have switched back to XP or LinuxUnix. Or they bought a new computer at Futureshop or BestBuy and got stuck with Vista and they hate it. I myself have been running it on one of my machines since March and, to be honest, I have had few problems. When I became aware of a book about Vista written by a University of Waterloo grad, I wanted to check it out. This book, or booklet, is a great introduction to Vista. Jason W. Eckert writes in a very fluid and easily accessible manner. Unlike a lot of technical manuals I have read, this one is a pleasure to read. Eckert writes with a great passion for his subject and a desire to instill knowledge in others. In the introduction, he is unbiased in his appreciation for both Mac and Microsoft based systems. He is a technophile who uses his skills as a wordsmith to draw the reader into the subject.

This book will take a user through a number of steps in installing, setting up and configuring Windows Vista. There are sections on how Vista is different from XP, the steps to install vista, how to navigate the new interface, customizing Vista and how to maintain and troubleshoot problems. As Eckert states in the introduction to the book, Vista is here to stay, and most new technologies for years to come will be based on this engine. There are a few key attributes of this book that make it a great tool for learning how to use Vista. Eckert makes extensive comparisons between Vista and XP at many points in the book, showing us the differences and the similarities, and there is a comprehensive list of key terms and definitions. This book is a great guide if you already have Vista and want to go deeper with what it can do for you, or if you are thinking about switching over to Vista. Eckert has a full length book coming out next year of which this is just the first chapter. This book is written as a tool to help you get started and learning the basics of Vista. — Steven R. McEvoy

Arts

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Gaming with the Lights Off:

“Everything you never wanted to see”—Silent Hill 3

It’s that icky, creepy and crawly time of the year again. The wind rustling through the trees a little more malevolent and our steps quickened with thoughts of followers on our way home. It is in these closing days that we gear up for Halloween. We all chose our shadowy holiday thrills in different ways. Some go to see spooky movies, others take bone-chilling walks through haunted graveyard or read a scary story, while others still, like myself, prefer to curl up in a dark room and play the hell (no pun intended) out of a good survival horror. The survival horror genre is one of the most intriguing types of video games to date. While encompassing a wide-variety of gameplay mechanics, the titles found in this genre are hard to define as anything else. It’s easy to call a survival horror game for what it is. Not only does the genre encompass the gameplay, it also applies to the overall theme and atmosphere of the titles in it. While some common elements exist between survival horror and other genres, the majority of what defines the genre come from the Resident Evil and Silent Hill series. There are countless gameplay mechanics that strew these titles together to help create a good scare in their player. Quite often these games feel like a “choose your own adventure” book come to life. De-

velopers use a variety of unsettling techniques to help put you in that dark and susceptible mood right from the get-go. Usually the character you play is thrust into unfamiliar circumstances, which leads you into feeling that unsettling emotion throughout the game. In addition to unfamiliar circumstances and settings, the game also presents eerie and warped versions of commonplace aspects of our daily lives. Silent Hill is very well known for this by taking places such as shopping malls or schools and turning them into warped versions of their normally comforting selves. Doing this to places we encounter in our real lives helps to carry that overarching fear from the genre out into our routines when we set the controller down. Not too shabby for creating that extra chill before setting out on a trick or treat run. Another way that the genre seeks to unease is through the combat mechanics themselves. The most common thread of survival horror combat comes from making the player feel extremely disadvantaged, which is often coupled with some form of paranormal or shock tactic. In Fatal Frame, for example, you are one of a pair of twins who wanders into a haunted abandoned village in the middle of the woods in Japan. Armed only with a mystic camera, you are forced to take pictures of your foes in order to destroy them. This adds an extra scare tactic to the gameplay by forcing you to look into the eyes of your would be killers before you take them down.

Usually the characters in these games are young women with makeshift weapons just trying to survive (hence the title). Dealing with a limited amount of supplies, ammunition and range of controls helps to push the player into a more uneasy state. In addition, to create that extra stir, developers make good use of static camera angles, restrictive controls and shock oriented scenery. Psychological-oriented games have also spurred from the survival horror genre. Spurring from inspirations from the Silent Hill series and Clock Tower, developers have begun to focus on scarring their gamers with mental tricks and captivating combat. Increasing tension and overall vulnerability is what these games focus on. Japanese-based titles are most well known for this tactic, as seen in Siren and the Fatal Frame series. Let’s just say that when it comes down to it, survival horror games are the kinds that if you get scared easily, shouldn’t play

alone or just before bed. Most of these titles can rev up the tension and anticipation so much in you that you find yourself putting down the controller before you even step into the second room. Any title from this genre will do well to set you and your friends up for a scary Halloween this year, when kept in moderation. Don’t overplay the titles too much though — Halloween is no fun with the lights on. jrickert@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Chen-chen

Arts

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

A favourite holiday among comicists

As Halloween approaches, the people who are most excited for the holiday of costumes and creepy shit are the creative ones, the artists. It’s true — a lot of us art folk love the holiday. Over the past years, I’ve been a blacksuited hitman, a Hawaii-Five-O-like detective and a ninja pretending to be a scientist. From the mind of the comicist however, there’s many ways to show our ghoulish fanboyism/fangirlism. Now, there’s probably no reason for me to explain why the supernatural calls for so much creativity. The amount of spooky and bizarre novels, comics and cartoons out there are endless! If you were a kid who grew up with cartoons, you’ll remember Casper the Friendly Ghost, My Pet Monster and Archie’s Weird Mysteries. Even sci-fi stories such as The Chrysalids and The Fifth Element hold some extra meat because of its mystic undertones. Actually, the majority of people I know don’t even remember My Pet Monster. It’s too bad because that cartoon was fucking awesome. You can see how ghouls and goblins can make a great source of entertainment. But one form of the supernatural has been a big trend between a good amount of webcomic artists, and that’s zombies. They’re everywhere: on your lunchboxes, in your movies, next door from your place and yes, even in your comic shops and internets. In fact, some of you have heard about the zombie walk happening this Saturday in the area. The zombie walk, is an event where tons of people get together to dress up as the living dead to roam the public streets, it is what some would consider a big deal. Liz Greenfield of Stuff Sucks fame (www. stuffsucks.com) is one of a good

amount of webcomic artists who do not only promote the event, but she was also a member of the walk that happened in Amsterdam several months back. But the supernatural isn’t where it stops for these comic artists. One common trend is that most webcomicists still enjoy the fun of the costume. Dressing up is just great fun, I’ll admit. Did I mention that I was a ninja pretending to be a scientist? But there’s also this trend of comic artists drawing their own characters in costumes. Sometimes, they’re dressed up as creatures, popular characters or movie characters. They even dress up to look like other webcomic characters. It’s great fun, as well as good exercise for the artists. So if you’re ever down in the dumps and you need an inspiration late this October, remember that Halloween is the greatest cure for such a…ghoulish problem. ptrinh@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

IMPRINT’s Playlist

Cease to Begin Band of Horses Sub Pop Records.

To a music enthusiast, there’s nothing more gratifying than discovering a great new band or hearing something that totally alters your perception on the way you appreciate music. Over the past week, I’ve been on a straight binge of Band of Horses Cease to Begin album day and night, over and over, on repeat. These musical binges can be a dangerous thing; however, given the right circumstances, they can be miraculous. After their credible Everything All The Time release last year, it would be fair to say that Band of Horses have avoided the sophomore slump by leaps and bounds. Like many, you may not know of the group Band of Horses, or, for the matter, the album Cease to Begin; at any rate, this record has the potential to make a myriad of top-five best albums of 2007 lists. Originally hailing from Seattle, but currently based out of South Carolina, Band of Horses are a hybrid sound of warm indie-pop, twangy alt-country, with just the right amount of vocal reverb that is reminiscent of My Morning Jacket, the Shins, and The Flaming Lips. However, don’t let these comparisons fool you into thinking that they’re a derivative indie band with great influences. These guys are unique and legitimate. Immediately we can understand why Cease to Begin is an exceptional record. The album opener and first single “Is There A Ghost” organically assembles into a dreamy indie anthem that eventually cascades into the guitar driven “Ode to LRC.”

Eventually, the album changes pace and singer Ben Bridwell showcases his reverb drawn vocals with warm lyrics like “When eyes can’t look at you any other way” repeated on the chorus of “Detlef Schrempf ” which references the long time Seattle Supersonics basketball star. On Cease to Begin, the group is not afraid to advertise their country influences. The most catchy and country-inspired track on the album, entitled The General Specific is a jangly, hand-clap oriented song with quirky lyrics like “Plants and animals, we’re on a bender when it’s 80 degrees, the end of December was coming on, only for you and me.” Following suit is the southern-natured “Marry Song” and “Window Blues” which are so authentic both vocally and musically, that it makes you feel like you’re listening to a great alt-country record. After losing principal guitarist Mat Brooke to other musical interests, Band of Horses are still able to remain true to their musical sound while providing a catchy, holistic, almost faultless follow up record. The album remains listen-able from beginning to end while the track arrangements highlight the artistic diversity of the group. With about two months left in the year, I’m going to do the right thing and guarantee Band Of Horses a spot on my top-five list of 2007. Speaking for all the music snobs, if you’re looking for solid album with enough substance to last you until the next highly anticipated release, Cease to Begin can fill that void.

Push Comes to Shove John Hammond EMI Music Canada

When I picked up this latest offering by blues-man John Hammond, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Here is a fellow that has released nearly thirty albums in his 45 year career, has played with the likes of Hendrix, Clapton, The Band, Tom Waits and others, and has won a Grammy and been nominated for four others. So, the question I was asking myself was “after all these years does he still have what it takes?” The answer to that question was clear even after the first listen of Push Comes to Shove: This paradigm of consistency definitely still has what it takes. Hammond teamed up with Philadelphia blues and hip-hop artist G. Love as his producer, a partnership that worked out very well. G. Love’s production was stellar, achieving a brilliant live and textured sound for the duration of the recording, a fact helped by the use of 2-inch tape to record this gem, instead of the ubiquitous digital recording processes. The use of analog for this album gave it a timeless sound that was gritty and dirty in all the right ways, which perfectly complimented Hammond’s vocals that almost always seem to be on the verge of breaking. Hammond and his band pumped out catchy riffs and infectious grooves on all twelve tracks. One very important aspect of the album is that is very accessible to all kinds of music fans; it is not an esoteric release for fans of the blues only. Everyone will be able to get into this record.

— Hunter Colosimo

— Chad Bredin

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Arts

Imprint, Friday, October 26, 2007

Anderson stays on track

UW Render’s Love and Loathe project takes flight

courtesy of imdb.com

The Darjeeling Limited Wes Anderson American Empirical Pictures

Mohammad Jangda

After months of work, Render’s The Love and Loathe project is finally on display. Hundreds of balloons have been put up in the SLC, each reading a different “Love” or “Loathe” that people submitted via the project’s website and drop boxes. Here, Christine Ogley, project creator, holds up one balloon that reads “I love kisses on the forehead in the morning.” The SLC will be host to the project until October 26.

Wes Anderson films always seem to have recurring themes: death, suicide, estranged families, sibling rivalry and general unhappiness with life,. The Darjeeling Limited is no different. The Darjeeling Limited is the story of three brothers; Francis (Owen Wilson), Peter (Adrian Brody) and Jack (Jason Schwartzman). Francis gets the other two to reluctantly come on a type of spiritual journey through India to reconnect after a year of not speaking. He spends the majority of the time telling them what to do and planning their days, going so far as to give them laminated itineraries. Each has his own problem: Francis has recently crashed his motorcycle and is visibly scarred; Peter is expecting a child and still mourns the death of his father; and Jack has just ended a relationship with a woman he still loves. The three travel through India doing drugs, visiting temples, purchasing odd local items and fighting in the way that only siblings can. Through an encounter with three young boys, the brothers realize that they are in fact brothers and put their problems aside to find their mother (Angelica Huston) who has become a nun in the Himalayas. Every aspect of excellent filmmaking goes into this movie. Anderson’s set dresser and costumer did an amazing job in setting the scene and creating the rather eccentric characters. The train, the luggage and the bathrobe Schwartzman sports throughout the film, all add to the attention to detail that makes an Anderson film. The majority of the actors have been in other Anderson films, and have always been superb. Schwartzman, Wilson and Huston all give performances on par with those from the other

Anderson films they have stared in. For the first time, though, Adrian Brody is starring. I must say that I never really liked the films he has been in, but his character, Peter, seems to be a perfect fit; he’s a tad odd and Brody’s physical look corresponds well with this. He really stands out and will hopefully make a good addition as a recurring cast member of Anderson’s films. My only real criticism of the film came at the very beginning, when the words “Please watch Hotel Chevalier,” appeared on the screen. As I spent two days before seeing The Darjeeling Limited looking for Hotel Chevalier online, I was not impressed. Apparently, it is supposed to be on iTunes for free, but on closer inspection I discovered that it is only on iTunes in the U.S. I don’t think it was a detriment to the film but I think watching Hotel Chevalier would have made a few things make a little more sense in The Darjeeling Limited. Hotel Chevalier follows Jason Schwartzman’s character on a 24-hour stop in Paris, where he meets up with his ex-girlfriend, Natalie Portman. In The Darjeeling Limited there is much discussion on Schwartzman’s relationship, from him wanting to call the ex, to a short story he writes that vents his frustration with her. I believe that I would have had a much better understanding of his character had I watched Hotel Chevalier. I will never know though, because it’s still unavailable on iTunes in Canada. Anderson is one of my favourite directors; he has the ability to create a both dark and hilarious film that leaves an impression on the viewer. The Darjeeling Limited is just like all his other films in this regard, and I would recommend seeing it if you are a fan of his other work. The only thing I ask is that next time a prologue is created for a film, make it accessible to all, not just Americans. — Emma Tarswell

UW Drama does the time warp again Sarah Hewey imprint intern

Jen Stanfel

This year, KW’s debut performance of Richard O’Brien’s The Rocky Horror Show will be performed by UW students from November 8-17 in the Theatre of the Arts — but the fun doesn’t stop there. For the first time ever, UW Drama and Princess Cinemas have joined forces to present a hybrid Rocky Horror experience. “Back in August when we heard the UW drama students were planning a production of The RHPS, we began discussions about a cross-pollination idea”, said John Tutt, owner of Princess Cinemas. The Rocky Horror Show has been a time-honoured Halloween tradition at the cinemas since they opened back in 1985. Four screenings of the film will be shown consecutively this Halloween, with UW Drama students kicking off each screening with a series of song and dance numbers right from the show.

The story follows a naïve young couple named Brad and Janet, as they stumble into the throws of Dr. Frank-n-Furter, a “sweet transvestite” with a lust for creation, and well, pro-creation. A wacky collision course of fishnet stockings, stiletto heels and unforgettable characters, The Rocky Horror Show is an unforgettable experience. “Our Rocky Horror Picture Show screenings are highly anticipated each year — the atmosphere in the cinema is electric before the screenings with highly charged anticipation,” added Tutt. This year promises to be even bigger with live entertainment on the menu. Tickets for The Rocky Horror Show sell at a madman’s pace. This Halloween is sure to be no different. If you’re interested in this firstever film and live theatre performance, book your tickets early. The Rocky Horror Picture Show will be on display October 31 at The Princess Cinema, starting at 7 p.m.