Patience with Patients

Patience with Patients Yes, it's often easier said than done with a few people. No matter what you do, it might not be enough, and no matter how you do it, it might be insufficient.

Trying Patients This story is a retelling by Susan, a retired nurse.

Mary was a 68 year old female that was admitted for a hip replacement. I went into Mary's room within 5 minutes of her being brought into the room, and after introducing myself, her first words were, “What took you so long to get here?” Followed by “Let's get something straight, you work for me, and you will be here when I want you.” After advising her very nicely that my employer was the hospital, she offered up her opinion of me, and advised me we were going to have trouble. Thank goodness for my nurse's aid, because that call button went off 17 times in an 8 hour day. Mary wanted everything from better quality bed linens to a large screen TV. I was advised after the aids changed her bedding, she looked at it and demanded it be redone, saying it was not good enough.

Related: Premature Births Four days into her stay, Mary was still refusing rehab, and there could be no release plans until she agreed to attend rehab therapy. Mary was trying, rude, and just simply intolerable to everyone. A week after being hospitalized, I went to Mary's room, and there was an elderly man coming out, as I heard her scream at him not to come back. The gentleman went on to tell me he was a neighbor some years back, and had recently gone to check on Mary and learned she was hospitalized. Thirty minutes later he finished telling me all about Mary, which put a new light on why she was the way she was. 9 years earlier, Mary, her husband, 2 children and 5 grandchildren had gone to a festival several hours from home. That night on the way home, as Mary was driving her van, she hit a patch of black ice, and there was a terrible accident. Mary's entire family was killed, and she was the only survivor. Her friend said Mary had always been a kind person, but after the accident, she hated herself, refused to talk with anyone, and lived in misery. I spoke with the social worker, who agreed that if I wanted to speak with Mary about this, it was fine, as she herself had no luck with her.

I did approach Mary, but to no avail. When I left her room, however, I heard her start crying and saying to herself that she hoped by staying in bed she would just die and get it over with. Therapy was ordered for Mary, and I

later heard from someone in her nursing home that she was doing better, and was actually socializing, and yes, being a little nicer.

The whole point is, you never really know what a patient has been through, or what they are going through. Numerous factors come into play, and should be considered.  

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Acute pain can make even the most cordial people be very unhappy and take it out on anyone in sight.

Uncertainty is a big factor. Depending on a, patient's condition, they may be very worried for their loved ones’ medical care and expenses, their lives, the potential of something happening to them; the list goes on.

Uncertainty for themselves. Many people are fine with accepting death, however, there is still, an unknown factor attached, and regardless of beliefs, it can be a little overwhelming to know that you may be facing death soon.

Out of routine is something many people do not like, especially the older we get. Home, with their own tv, bed, pillows, books, etc. to a sterile hospital room. People, that are very routine oriented and don't like change, are often miserable when they are not within their elements.

The Agenda, or essentially what's next may be first on the patient's mind. Will I be ok, etc. may be a big part of what their mind is on.

Many people feel worthless or hopeless if they don't feel they are contributing in some way, it can be understandable to feel, that way as you lay in a hospital, bed.

Related: How Many Hours are too many?

Of course, there are limits of what you can do, and what you are expected to do, but just try to take a step back and realize you just don't know your patients’ stories.

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