Violence

Violence

International Organisation of Psychology and Education

Violence

[If you are a minor or an adult concerned about a minor, we advise you to contact immediately the NSPCC Help for children and young people: Childline: 0800 1111, Adults concerned about a child: 0808 800 5000.

Website: http://www.nspcc.org.uk/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nspcc Twitter: https://twitter.com/NSPCC Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247

Domestic Violence: Violence is a crime and home is a place where we all need to feel safe. However sometimes due to a great variety of circumstances, some people do not feel safe at home or even in the company of some friends or family members that should make us feel safe and confident.

This is an informative handbook for people to identify different types of violence. REMEMBER, VIOLENCE IS NOT ONLY ABOUT PUNCHING AND HITTING, some violent acts do not leave any physical marks, but emotional.

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This handbook is a practical guide to help people who are experiencing or have experienced domestic violence and abuse. It aims to help ease some of the emotional stress that goes along with dealing with domestic violence by giving you advice on a range of services and issues you might need to know.

Violence

1 in 4

women and

1 in 6

men

will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.

Remember:

You are not alone It is NOT your fault

Do not be ashamed about it HELP IS AVAILABLE It is your right to live free from fear 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline:

0808 2000 247 Illustration HĂŠctor Espinoza

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Domestic violence is essentially a pattern of behaviour that is characterised by exercise of control and the misuse of power by one person over another, usually a current or former partner. This includes, but is not restricted to physical, sexual, emotional and financial abuse and the imposition of social isolation. It is most commonly a combination of all of these’.

Domestic violence is not only restricted to relationships with partners or former partners. It can also happen between family members and in some cases, with carers.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter what your background is you can still be subjected to it.

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Domestic violence happens to people from all different areas of society regardless of age gender, race, culture, nationality, religion, sexuality, disability, educational level and socioeconomic group.

Illustration Edgar GonzĂĄlez

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Remember, VIOLENCE is not only having rough physical contact.

Physical Abuse • • • • • • • • •

Punching Slapping Pulling hair Pinching Biting Burning Hitting Choking Kicking

Financial Abuse • • • • •

Illustration Vanessa Martínez

Being kept without money Not been allowed to take control of your bank account or financial assets Having wages, benefits or pension taken away from you Having to account for all you spending Being threatened with no support for you or your children if you leave as a result of a physical-emotional assault or if you tell the authorities.

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Emotional and Verbal Abuse • • • • • • • •

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Being verbally abused and humiliated Being threatened with dead or other actions if you tell anyone of the abuse Being told hurtful things with the purpose of damaging you or your wellbeing Being constantly blamed Being threatened, such as saying things that could damage your reputation/job/family Being put down in front of other people Being kept away from family and friends Being judged constantly over any actions or preferences

Illustration Vanessa Martínez

Violence

Illustration Vanessa Martínez

Sexual Violence • • • • • • • •

Rape Being forced to watch or act out pornography Being talked to in sexually degrading ways Indecent phone calls Being forced to attend sexual meetings or have sex with people you don’t know Being watched or forced to be filmed whilst having sexual intercourse Being touched in front of others in a sexual and degrading way Being forced to stay and have sex with a partner who has other sexual partners

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Threatening Behaviour • • • •

Verbal threats Physical threats Being watched/ filmed/recorded Being pestered with calls/notes/emails/ mail/posts/texts/ messages

Illustration Vanessa Martínez

It is important to:

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2.

3.

4.

5.

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RECOGNISE that it is happening to you ACCEPT that YOU ARE NOT to blame SEEK HELP and support Make a CRISIS SAFETY PLAN GET ADVICE about your LEGAL rights and protection

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People who experience domestic violence are often in very different situations and will need to think about different things when trying to end the violence.

However dealing with domestic violence for everybody is about getting back control in your life.

Illustration Vanessa MartĂ­nez

Practical steps: 1. Find out what support is available locally that is relevant to your needs.

2. Keep a diary of domestic violence incidents.

3. Follow a safety plan* 4. Have an informal chat with the Police Community Support Team - 023 8067 4198 - and ask them to make a note of your call.

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Dealing with crises: - Involve your GP who will note any injuries that you have received (if it is physical violence).

- It can be difficult reporting an incident to the Police but they are very helpful and this could assist in the future.

- Keep your police incident number safe - If you move house, be careful who you give your new address to.

- If you do leave and you need to return to collect some things, you can arrange for the Police or a support agency to go with you

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Illustration Vanessa MartĂ­nez

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YOUR SAFETY PLAN 1 Arrange where you might go if you have to leave urgently.

2 Prepare a small and practical emergency backpack if necessary.

3 Find places where you can quickly and safely use the phone.

4 Always carry a list of numbers with you in case of an emergency.

5 Try to save money so that you have bus or taxi fares in an emergency.

6 Get an extra set of keys for the house / car.

7 Arrange a meeting place/time if you get separated from your children or if they run from home/school due to an incident 8 Keep the keys, money and anything else you may need in a safe place, should you have to leave quickly.

9 Talk to your children. Let them know it’s not their fault.

Children do not have to see violence to be affected by it.

They hear it, sense it and can be sad and frightened by it.

Trust your children and communicate with them, also let them know you are there for them so they can trust you and be truthful about how they feel and what they need.

10 Talk to friends, relatives, your doctor, nurse or others about how you feel.

11 Try to find pertinent authorities in your area which will be able to help you.

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Experiencing any type of violence will have a profound effect on you and you and your children’s lives. It is natural to feel depressed, angry, vulnerable and ashamed.

However, it is also perfectly normal to need support from people in dealing with it, not only on a practical level, but also on an emotional level.

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Illustration Vanessa MartĂ­nez

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It can be very difficult to accept that you are a victim of domestic violence or any other form of abuse and it may take a long time for someone to realise or admit that it is happening to them. However, in doing this it is the vital first step in the process. There are a wide range of services that can help you to deal with your experiences and to help you rebuild your life and move on.

Violent people can take advantage of VULNERABLE PEOPLE, hence we recommend you to NOT make hasty decisions that could affect your life before talking to a professional.

An objective point of view and the knowledge of an experienced doctor/psychologist or pertinent authority could make a positive and big difference in your life.

If you are suffering from the any effects or emotional consequences of violence in your life. We are here to help you.

If you are concerned about your children or minors suffering from challenging behaviour or depression due to violence, call us, we can arrange a meeting, visit the school and set a plan to help your child.

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CONFIDENTIALITY We will always make sure your child gets the best individual plan. Therefore, we believe it is really important to treat each case with the strictest level of confidentiality and professionalism to help the child and your family feel safe. Any information given to us or observed will only be used to plan an appropriate programme to help your child to overcome any difficulties in his/her life. Furthermore, any information will be disclosed only with your consent to the people involved to help your child.

References.

- Southampton Domestic Violence Handbook by Jude Ruddock-Atcherley on behalf of the Southampton Domestic Violence Forum (SDVF) and the sec Inclusion Team.

- Help information and advice from Women’s Aid Federation of England.

- Individual agencies and services who spent time and effort providing information for and comment on the (SDVF) Handbook.

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For more information call us: INOPSYE- INTERNATIONAL ORGANISATION OF PSYCHOLOGY AND EDUCATION Ltd. Company Number: 9722079 West Sussex Office: Suite 9, Unit F2 Sussex Manor Business Park Gatwick Road Crawley West Sussex RH10 9NH Tel: 01342 529 383 Director of Psychology and Education

Nahory Gadd nahory@inopsye.co.uk General enquiries: info@inopsye.co.uk