Incite Magazine - November 2010

Incite Magazine Volume 13, Issue 2 · McMaster University, Hamilton ▪ november 2010

SINCITE: Our take on the seven deadly sins GLUTTONY: More than you can stomach plus LUST: Busting open Hamilton’s lingerie shops

Editorial Moving right along Andrew Prine, Editor-in-Chief

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know a thing or two about procrastination. I’m also a practical person. As such, my knowledge on the subject comes mainly from personal experience. It’s subjective and biased, but at least it’s my subjectivity and bias. That means a lot to me. A few weeks ago, while I was leafing through some magazines to avoid getting out of bed, I came upon an article exploring some possible psychological explanations for humankind’s propensity for putting things off.

Even half-asleep, one of the theories outlined by the magazine’s team of psychologists—that procrastinators fear their own limitations—stood out to me. Instead of allotting sufficient time to perform a task competently, procrastinators set up external conditions that make success impossible.

That way, when they fail to live up to their potential, they can laugh it off, say that they did the night before, or weren’t really giving it their all. While I didn’t entirely agree with their argument, I did like that it took into account some element of the ego in procrastination. While three years of living with the same group of people and 18 years of living with my family have destroyed any illusions I once had about being able understand other people, I do think that self-love is a pretty important factor for any explanation 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

photography by Karnoffel (deviantart)

of human behaviour.

When I reflect on my own history of leaving things to the last minute, I’ve tended to justify it rather differently. Like many people my age, I had the message that “anything is possible if you put your mind to it” driven into my head. Although I’ve known about certain practical limitations to that statement (I’m probably never going to reach the 6 foot mark) for a long time, the idea itself has never really been disproven.

When I unconsciously adopted this belief as an axiom, it evened the playing field. Enter my ego. If everyone is capable of writing a good paper, how could I differentiate myself? If the end goals are equivalent and accessible to all, how I reach that goal becomes the measure for comparison. I started to procrastinate out of a desire for a challenge.

Sometimes subjects have bested me (six units of calculus in a weekend), and others I’ve bested, but this process of late nights, all nighters and racing to the drop box has been going on for so long that I don’t even know what I’m actually capable of anymore. If my use of procrastination as a challenge started back in high school, when assignments and projects were easier, shorter, and not costing me $6000 in tuition, should I have changed my work ethic three years ago when I ar-

rived at McMaster? I started off challenging myself, but maybe it’s become just another psychological defence.

Examining our shifting personal relationships with the beliefs we’ve picked up from the world around us is a natural part of growing up. Our old axioms are called into question by new perspectives, experiences and evidence, and we eventually reach some kind of equilibrium. For our November issue, we decided that we wanted to look at sin, and explore how we, as university students, relate to its older social definitions.

Will van Engen’s Man versus Burger blurs the line between delight and disgust, and James Lim’s Wrath & Justice reflects on the concepts for which his article is named. On a larger scale, Sarah Kanko’s Pyramids and Pizza Hut explores the evolution of entire peoples through cultural envy, and Catherine Mary Zagar’s narration of Nuit Blanche as a transitional experience captures the essence of our changing viewpoints.

And if you were wondering why I chose to devote the bulk of my editorial to this particular topic, our print date is looming, and as I wrote at the beginning, I know a thing or two about procrastination.

incitemagazine.ca Features

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Wrath & Justice Reflections on the system James Lim Downward Dog, Patent Pending Profitting from tradition Tano Posteraro, Hannah Webb Pyramids and Pizza Hut Cultural envy in a global age Sarah Kanko Nuit Blanche Contemporary art reborn Catherine Mary Zagar Artwork Jamie Forsyth, Janine Wong, Afrisa Yeung Paint it Maroon Varsity pride and prejudice Neva Haddit

Departments

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Minutes from last month Selected news from near and far

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Review: Lingerie Shops Danielle Gibbons, Anna Kulikov, Jenny Whistance-Smith

7

Diversions: Which mag’s your bag?

Chris Hilbrecht, Jane van Koeverden

18 23

Photography by Jon fairclough

Power/Play Yang Lei Review: All you can eat Cameron Amini, Jeremy Henderson, Chris Hilbrecht, Yang Lei, Hilary Noad, Meg Peters

Incite Magazine is published six times per academic year by Impact Youth Publications, founded in 1997.

Entire contents copyright 2010-2011 Impact Youth Publications. Opinons expressed in Incite Magazine are those of the author(s), and do not necessarily reflect the views of Incite Magazine’s staff or Impact Youth Publications.

Letters of up to 300 words may be sent to incite@ mcmaster.ca; they may be edited for length and clarity and will not be printed unless a name, address, and daytime phone are provided.

20 22 26

3Duped Reach out and touch Ishani Nath Embracing the Freshman Fifteen Growing up (and out) Janie Ginsberg, Erin Chesney Man versus Burger Meating his match Will van Engen Editor-in-Chief Andrew Prine

Managing Editors Yang Lei, Layout Joanna Chan, Graphics Will van Engen, Photography Editors Chris Hilbrecht Anna Kulikov Hilary Noad Adira Winegust Communications & Marketing Ishani Nath Kathy Woo Contributors Cameron Amini, Khanh Be, Mark Belan, Erin Chesney, Ava Dideban, Jon Fairclough, Jeremy Forsyth, Danielle Gibbons, Janie Ginsberg, Neva Haddit, Jeremy Henderson, Sarah Kanko, James Lim, Irena Papst, Meg Peters, Tano Posteraro, Marlette Ravelo, James Rouleau, Mandy Shek, Megan Sonke, Anne van Koeverden, Jane van Koeverden, Hannah Webb, Jenny Whistance-Smith, Janine Wong, Afrisa Yeung, Catherine Mary Zagar Cover Ava Dideban Printing Digital Art & Graphics, Inc. Contact incite@mcmaster.ca Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 3

Happenings Goat, see?

INSIDE THE BUBBLE...

IN NORTH AMERICA...

Maybe we should check the LCBO While people in Hamilton continue to fret about the reported alligator sightings in Hamilton Harbour this year, the residents of Wading River, Long Island, New York, can rest easy. Early this month, two employees of Alpine Wines and Liquor were ticketed by police for the illegal procession a cuddly three foot long alligator.

One employee of the store, who was babysitting the creature while the tickets were being issued, thought that the three foot long reptile was a common monitor lizard. Authorities say that the alligator is safe and will be transferred to an animal sanctuary out of state. We can only hope it’s not our harbour.

Bad Call CINCINNATI, OHIO—Before celebrities try their hand at charity work, they should really make sure they’ve got all the facts!

Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco learned this the hard way when the telephone number listed on his limited edition “Ochocincos” cereal box was not that of the “Feed the Children” charity, rather, it directed well-meaning costumers to a sex-phone line. Ochocinos

...AND AROUND THE WORLD

A sheep in drunk’s clothing GERMANY—In the midst of celebrating 20 years of re-unification, one Berlin man ended up in jail for resisting arrest during LETTER TO THE EDITOR a public drunkenness call. Normally, beerThe article Fuckin’ Eh! was informative, although I don’t filled revelers get rowagree with the five swearing categories presented. Readers may dy and sing patriotic nonetheless be amused to know that, within memory, this topic songs, but this 49-yearwas difficult to present in university classes. old man decided to sing In the mid-1960s (okay, not within your memory), the linhis own tune, composed guistics professor James McCawley of the University of Chicago entirely of him bleatcouldn’t even get his research on the F-word published. Class ing like a sheep. Some handouts with fuck etc. in them had to be surreptitiously mimperformances lasted eographed (there’s a concept) in low quantity. as long as 20 minutes Now, however, his work is available, notably in a volume and by 10:45 p.m. his titled Studies out in Left Field: Defamatory Essays presented to James aggravated neighbors D. McCawley. One of his papers analyzes “Fuck you” and is called, called the police. When sorry to say, “English Sentences without Overt Grammatical the police arrived and Subject.” But its original title McCawley slyly claimed was “Why asked the celebrant to I can’t tell you to fuck you.” If you believe that, you may also acstop his Baa-ing, the cept the stated authorship of that paper from the 1960s: Quang man became very agPhuc Dong of the South Hanoi Institute of Technology.

McCawley’s linguistic analyses of taboo expressions remain gressive and upset, both insightful and uproariously funny. threatening police officers who then arrested Dr. Paul Rapoport him. When asked to Professor (Emeritus), McMaster School of the Arts comment on the case, 905-648-2181 one officer said that the 4 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

cereal currently costs five dollars, with a portion of it going directly to Feed the Children, but the number listed on the box was meant to elicit more money for the charity, which feeds children in the United States living below the poverty line.

The 1-800 number will be changed to the proper 1-888 number during the next distribution round, according to PBL Sports, the maker of the cereal.

man will have a “beastly hangover” in the morning.

Dance Dance Devolution GERMANY—Amidst the multitude of dance contests, dance shows, and the general dance craze boogying across the globe, there is one competition that shimmies out from the rest. “The Ugly Dance World Cup” prizes awkwardness over grace and four German high school students were recently named champions of this blundering shimmy showdown. According to the competition’s official website, the quirky quartet originating from Vechta, Germany, won “with epic ugliness, horrible appearance and their signature move—the Shy Dance”. In its second official year, the competition hosted nine teams from Germany, Luxembourg, and Switzerland in Hamburg over the October 23, 2010 weekend. In the future, organizers hope that the competition will create a stage for alternative dancing styles and because in their minds “It’s so easy to dance nicely, but ugly dancing is an art”.

Review lingerie shops

Danielle Gibbons, Anna Kulikov, & Jenny Whistance-Smith

A

s part of our effort to make Incites fly off the racks, we decided to tap into lust, everyone’s favourite deadly sin. If sex can sell cars, records, and impotence drugs, imagine what it can do for a free publication! In the spirit of nice racks, we sent some of our bravest writers out in search of lingerie, and here’s what they found: The Love Shop—260 Main Street East I went in to The Love Shop with the simple goal of buying some lube. That idea slipped from my mind as I found myself face to face with a wall of lubricants that seemed to stretch upwards into infinity. The Love Shop can leave even the most oversexed individuals feeling completely drained—mentally, physically, and of all bodily fluids.

There was an overwhelming array of sex toys, novelty items, and lingerie, and an entire back section full of pornographic magazines, books, and videos that was large enough to stuff a completely separate store. As I wandered open-mouthed down the aisles, I saw many things that I had not known existed, and I simply could not fathom how they were used. A sight that has burned its way into my consciousness is known only as The Great American Chal-

photograph under creative commons

lenge, a dildo that measures 15.5” long, 4.5” around, and weighs five pounds. I sincerely hope that it is a novelty item.

I hear from other people that some Love Shops are actually quite nice, so don’t let my review deter you from shopping there; they will definitely have what you are looking for. I was overwhelmed by the sheer selection, and underwhelmed by the man in the corner breathing heavily while watching me shop, both factors that may have affected my overall experience. All in all, I left feeling completely and utterly shell-shocked, clutching my tiny bottle of passion fruit lube, and feeling like I needed a very long shower.

Jenny’s Rating: 3 pocket rockets out of 5 Greta’s Flair—252 Ottawa Street North Greta’s Flair is a specialty lingerie store that sells bridal wear, lingerie, mastectomy products, and swimwear.

Oh, and sex toys. Walking into Greta’s Flair, I was greeted by soft perfume, cushy carpets, and two lovely older ladies who reminded me of my grandmother. This was slightly unnerving considering that I was lingerie shopping, but it was pleasant all the same.

There was a small selection of sex toys

tucked discreetly in the corner, and they were all very tasteful (no 15” dildos here). There is not a whole lot to say about Greta’s Flair—it was a very nice boutique—but I couldn’t help but notice that I was about thirty years too young to be shopping there. I realized soon after my entrance that the target demographic was women in their fifties and up, and I was a wee bit out of place.

Jenny’s Rating: 4.5 silk nighties out of 5 Margo’s Lingerie—105 Main Street East Tiny, but with lots of character, Margo’s Lingerie is hidden away in the most unlikely of places: underneath the Effort Square apartments on Main Street East. Unlike big chain stores like La Vie En Rose and La Senza, Margo’s focus is on comfort and proper fit. Mitzi, the owner, has been filling in Margo’s big shoes since 2003, and is not one to waste time. She will bust-out the measuring tape and have your jacket off within minutes of wandering into her store. But just as quickly, she will dispel any awkwardness with her Eastern European charm and launch into a passionate speech about the importance of lingerie sellers knowing their ABCs. You Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 5

see, Margo’s specializes in bra fittings and is on a mission to correct the surprisingly common mistake of wearing too small a cup with too large a band, so letters range as high as H and beyond.

Don’t let the mid-alphabet sizes fool you, Margo’s carries mostly classier, Parisian brands like Chantelle and Grenier, implying a price tag out of reach of a student budget—Mitzi herself admits she bought the shop because “the underwear was too expensive”—there are still many reasons to pop in for a visit.

Owning the store, Mitzi— full of joie de vivre—is not spurred by the demonic drive of commission and gladly shares her philosophy with the curious passerby: the key to happiness is a good bra.

Anna’s Rating: on the Busty

H-Cup Scale

Stag Shop—980 Upper James Street On a recent trip to my favourite location of the Stag Shop, my senses were assaulted by the skimpiest of Halloween costumes filling the aisles that are usually crowded with an array of dildos, fleshlights and cockrings. Yes, it’s that time of year again folks, Hallowe’en, the day we celebrate all things slutty. Somewhere along the way marketing geniuses got the idea to put sex and Hallowe’en together, and, let me tell you, they are making a killing. The Stag Shop’s fabulous assortment of costumes this year ranges from the very popular and contemporary Slutty Alice in Wonderland to the classic Slutty Cop and Slutty Pirate. Don’t worry, boys; they’ve got plenty for you too—as long you’re interested in being a cowboy or a caveman.

The Stag Shop didn’t penetrate its market with lingerie and costumes though; their original goal was to bring you as much pleasure between the sheets as possible, and they haven’t strayed far from it. There’s something for everyone at the Stag Shop. For the kinky there’s bondage gear—leather and chains and whips, oh my! For the traditionalist, 6 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

they sell pornographic DVDs, and for the treehugger in all of us, they now have eco-friendly vibrators and lube.

If you want to celebrate Hallowe’en right this year, or keep things steamy once the weather turns colder, get yourself down to the Stag Shop.

Danielle’s Rating: 5 blow up dolls out of 5

get the job done. Another plus about Wal-Mart: while you’re buying your sweetie something naughty you can pick up dinner at McDonald’s! I wonder if Ronald’s gal gets her gitch here too...

Danielle’s Rating: 2 plus-sized panties out of 5

Widemart Shoes —71 King Street East With a south-facing storefront looking out over Gore Park, Widemart Shoes’ exterior is not particularly promising.

White peg board walls, cardboardbox merchandise, and Playboyesque posters lining leather-dominated shoe racks make up the habitat of the Widemart mascots: an unlikely pair of well-dressed Yorkshire terriers. While claiming to offer lingerie, their collection is composed of the impractical and the hypersexualized, a one-size-fits-all ensemble wardrobe for Hamilton Strip a few blocks north up John St. Besides, failing to display its merchandise on the racks and lacking a fitting room, Widemart makes ordering sexy intimates from the endless selections available online all that much more appealing. As its name suggests, the majority of floorspace is dedicated to shoes. What it lacks in everyday lingerie, Widemart makes up for with artwork by Sunshinecity (FLiCKR) stripperfyingly tall always the classic Hamilton sex par- stiletto heels, red pleather thigh-highs lour—Wal-Mart. Yes, Wal-Mart offers and five dollar discount boots, and what you an interesting, albeit slightly unap- it lacks in class, it makes up for with petizing, selection of quality priced lin- an interior that could be dismantled gerie to spice things up in the bedroom. faster than a card house in a hurricane.

From plus-sized maternity bras to a So, if you are looking for daring lingedelightful selection of granny panties, rie or seasonally slutty Halloween cosif you’re looking for comfort and style, tumes and are willing to take a walk up head to Wal-Mart. Okay, okay, I’ll be Leg Avenue♥™, Widemart is a shoe in. nice. They actually do have a cute selection of cheap bras that probably won’t 1.5 hooker boots out of 10 last as long as La Senza, but nonetheless Wal-Mart—665 Upper James Street For those of us who can’t afford the big name sex and lingerie stores, there’s

Are You Reading the Right Magazine?

Chris Hilbrecht & Jane van Koeverden

artwork by Megan sonke

I

n the spirit of Incite’s lust section, we decided to peruse the pages of the competition—namely, Maxim and Cosmopolitan—arguably, numbers 2 and 3 on ‘world’s sexiest magazine’s list’ (after us, of course).

Both publications offered impressively erotic materials, but even Anna Kournikova in 3-D couldn’t arouse us as much as Louis Greenspan’s discussion of Bertrand Russell (see Incite archives!). We couldn’t help but wonder, is our mildly-biased preference of Incite over Maxim and Cosmopolitan shared with the world? Take our quiz, dear readers, and find out if you’re really reading the right magazine.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

In your daily life, the information most valuable to you would be a) the facts on STIs b) how to be a sniper c) the winning entry of the 2010 Ugly Dance World Cup

You are worried most about: a) serial rapists and weight gain b) penis size c) the state of dwarf suffrage in Azerbaijan

Questions you frequently ask yourself include a) do I really know the real me? b) where does the fabric go when laundry shrinks? c) whither Eurovision?

You strongly believe that a) prefered hot dog toppings reveal a potential mate’s compatibility b) penis pumps really work c) you’re not the only person filling out this quiz

Your idea of a fashion section would include: a) over-priced designer clothing (who wouldn’t want a $115 T-shirt?) b) women in sexy Hallowe’en “costumes” (NB: not exclusive to October issue) c) a guide on how to shop vintage in Hamilton (coming next issue!)

Your advice to budding journalists is a) sex sells b) a scandalous picture is worth 1000 words c) that’s what’s b) said

A hottie just moved into your building but has yet to introduce him/herself. You: a) wear a pretty dress that shows considerable cleavage, invite him/her over for margaritas, and suggestively graze his/her thigh under the table b) “accidentally” drop a box of Magnums next time you see him/her. When in doubt, bend and snap c) attract him/her with your shiny exterior, pun frequently

Cosmopolitan

PRICE Cosmo - 5.49 Maxim - 5.99 Incite - Free!

PAGES C - 269 M - 132 I - 28 SPECIAL FEATURES C - 100 Sex Facts! (Only 5.49¢/sex fact!)

M- Anna Kournikova in 3D. Oh Z-axis. Oh contours.

I - Original sins.

scoring mostly A’s

the

LOWDOWN

mostly b’s

mostly c’s

Maxim

Incite (We like you.)

IMAGES OF SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN C - 18 M - 41 I-2 Photos of Shirtless Men C - 14 M-1 I-0 Worst wordplay C - “Vajazzling” M - “Beeristory” I - “Stripperfyingly” Strangest thing we learned C - Penguins engage in prostitution, swapping nest materials for sex M - Jane: “I don’t know if I learned anything from this magazine” I - You can patent yoga (see page 10) Most Unusual Ad C - Love Potion M - Wholesome car advertisement not showcasing breasts I - “Write, draw, edit or design for Incite Magazine” Best Quotation C - “Could I love wait by getting busy?”

M - “If I can turn everyone on, I’m OK with that” I - “It doesn’t help that I’m beginning to get burger-induced hallucinations”

Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 7

wrath and justice James Lim

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t 0.75%, the United States has the highest incarceration rate of any country in the world. Dozens of U.S. citizens, protected from unlawful government intervention by its much touted constitution, are executed every year. Most executions are by lethal injection, but on 18 June, 2010, Ronnie Lee Gardner was executed by firing squad, as requested and in accordance with his Mormon faith, for two counts of murder in connection with an attempted bank robbery.

Gardner’s execution was the first execution by firing squad in the United States in 14 years. Out of the five members of the firing squad, one was randomly given a rifle loaded with a non-lethal wax bullet. This is done to diffuse responsibility and ease the consciences of the executioners; each member of the squad can entertain the idea that he did not fire the killing shot. This practice, a hold out from a time when death by firing squad was more common, is interesting: if execution is deemed to be the right and just way to punish the wrongdoer, why

8 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

ARTWORK BY Marlette Ravelo

should an executioner feel guilt?

As I sat in a law office in Kitchener, my attention was inexorably drawn to one small spider, a member of that species so reviled by man. The spider must have been in the midst of spinning a line of silk when I put it down on the desk, as when I moved my hand backwards I could see it being dragged back in unison. I was only half listening to what Mr. Safa, my lawyer, was saying. I was fixated on the tiny spider moving across the desk, being pulled back and forth by me. Then, the silk snapped, and the little spider skittered unimpeded towards the other side of the desk. “The criminal court in Canada has three purposes, James. One: to punish wrongdoers for their transgression. Two: to remove them from the greater society for the safety of that society. And three: to rehabilitate the offender to be a good upstanding citizen.” I wondered how these reasons would be weighted during my sentencing.

Is it more important to punish or rehabilitate the transgressor? Is punishment, and threat of more pun-

ishment, a form of rehabilitation?

Could one consider deterrence an acceptable form of rehabilitation?

Thwack! Mr. Safa’s hand came down heavily on the arachnid.

“What was that? A tick?” he said, half to himself, as he inspected his hand. “A spider, I think.”

Mr. Safa continued talking as I returned to my thoughts. What insights could I glean about society’s concept of justice from the myriad of stories, myths and sayings I’d been exposed to over the years?

Only conflicting and contradicting lessons. Is it the Golden Rule or an eye for an eye? Should revenge be served cold or left off the menu?

Is it the turn-the-other-cheek, lethe-who-is-without-sin-cast-thefirst-stone Jesus we should do as, or the flipping-tables-at-the-temple, ass-kicking Jesus? It is hard to know to which principles we should adhere to or which example to follow when even the book that we swear upon in court is unclear.

The theories and practices of justice have come a long way since the days of Job, yet in some ways

we have not changed. We no longer enact public tortures and grotesque methods of execution, drawing and quartering or the guillotine, for our entertainment and relief, but we still relish the spectacle of punishment. We stay glued to the TV for shows like Prison Break and Judge Judy, and news stories like the case of Colonel Williams are run in media outlets the whole world over.

We may have known of Conrad Black, Karla Homolka, Lindsay Lohan, and Martha Stewart for other reasons, but it is for their infamy that they are remembered. When we make sex offenders go door-todoor in their neighbourhoods announcing their arrival, how far removed are we from sentencing them to sew a scarlet letter on their shirt? We participate in these spectacles, ostensibly in the name of public interest and safety, but underneath, it is a kind of hypocritical, collective moral masturbation.

The other relic of archaic punishments that society still holds on to is the idea of retributive justice. It exists today for the supposed benefit of the victim, or the victim’s friends and family in the case of murder.

Today we may place more emphasis on deterrence and rehabilitation, but there is a pervading feeling that transgressors need to “get what’s coming to them.” Destroying the life of the person who destroyed yours, or your loved ones’, does not improve your life; it just sates your desire for vengeance. I wonder whether this thirst is something that we, as humans, can evolve past, or if it is an essential part of our nature.

I grappled with these thoughts as I sat there in a law office in Kitchener. I felt helpless and at odds with a seemingly indifferent system that held absolute power over my fate.

I had committed a crime and I was told to accept the consequences.

Likewise, the spider on my lawyer’s desk had transgressed, and it was punished accordingly. Whether or not it deserved the punishment was not part of the conversation.

ARTWORK BY KHAnh BE

WRITE, DRAW, EDIT OR DESIGN FOR INCITE MAGAZINE incite@mcmaster.ca

Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 9

Downward dog, patent pending

Tano Posteraro & Hannah Webb on the extending reach of property laws

O

f the seven deadly sins, avarice may have the most legislative support. Patent laws motivate the creation of new products because they (supposedly) guarantee that inventors will profit from their original ideas. By encouraging invention with the promise of financial gain, patents drive progress and innovation. But more communal greed is giving rise to a bonanza of runaway ownership.

Our determination to make a profit has led to attempts to patent living things, genomes, and traditional indigenous knowledge. An important question to ask is: what can you own?

What are the limits of ownership?

John Locke famously claimed that ownership arises out of the application of labour. Locke argued that if he made the effort to pick an apple, that apple is his. However, the issue gets more complicated when dealing with scientific developments and modern technologies. Intellectual property law states that in order to patent a product, you must be the inventor and your product must be the first of its kind. But things aren’t always that simple. Until only recently, living 10 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

artwork by mark belan

organisms have been excluded from patent laws, considered ‘products of nature’ and not human inventions.

This changed with a U.S. Supreme Court case in 1980, during which the court decided that a modified strain of bacteria was patentable because it was not naturally occurring.

We are still feeling the consequences of this case today. Now it is common for patents to be approved for everything from plants to animals to human genes. Patents are granted to those who can discover and asexually reproduce a novel plant. As for the animal kingdom, a Harvard biologist received a patent for a genetically engineered mouse with an increased susceptibility to cancer. Even human genes are now patentable once they have been isolated to produce a novel form.

Patent law becomes even more complicated when building on or modifying prior patents. To do this you need the original inventor’s permission, and your variation cannot be so minor that it could have been included in the original patent. But in defining the line between what’s unique and what isn’t, things can get

tricky. Hip-hop producers frequently sample sounds from already copyrighted songs and recordings. If the sampler can get permission from the original song-writer, then they are free to use the samples in whichever ways they deem fit. Actually, they can even claim rights to their new variations, assuming they sound somewhat unique. Collage artists are even free to use existing visual works as long as their creations are different enough from the pieces from which they are derived. The same goes for musical homage. Songs can be based on existing musical themes and ideas, as long as they don’t end up sounding too much like their inspirations.

This is also the case for criticisms, commentaries, research and teaching.

Ultimately, all new creations resulting from the use of previous ones can be patented and copyrighted.

They can be owned. In essence, so long as it looks fresh and different, almost any new invention or creation can be patented. The limits of ownership? They’re dissolving steadily. On average, larger companies like IBM file for 10 patents a day, while approx-

imately 400,000 patents are issued annually. And it seems we’re fine with this disintegration of boundaries.

Another area where the everextending reach of the patent-able is particularly thorny is that of traditional knowledge; the culturally-inherited practices, wisdom, and teachings common to traditional peoples.

For example, there have been forays into patenting yoga, a traditional Hindu moving meditation that has been practiced in India for around 6000 years. Despite Western attempts to copyright aspects of yoga it is unlikely anyone will deny that its roots lie in India. Still, these attempts reflect the changing nature of the practice in the West. Yoga gained popularity here in association with the hippie culture of the 70s, but is now often seen solely as a fitness class, divorced from much of its cultural and religious significance.

Today it is an almost six billion dollar industry in the United States.

This is an example of the difficulties of integrating divergent cultural conceptions of ownership. In the context of the Western world, perhaps there is a need to protect knowledge if it is to be a source of income. Interestingly enough, it is often Indians themselves patenting this knowledge, and perhaps they should profit off this knowledge in a Western context. But whose intellectual property is it really? Yoga poses are collective knowledge in Hindu culture, transcending generations, so it is difficult to accept that one person should benefit from a claim to such shared intellectual property. How far can claims of this sort be taken? Can they limit the common practice of yoga? Will individuals have to pay fees every time they practice particular poses?

In India it is unthinkable to own yogic knowledge because doing so turns it into a commodity. As a part of Indian cultural heritage, it should be accessible to everyone. Yet Bikram Choudhury has patented “Bikram

Yoga,” which consists of a particular sequence of 26 poses performed at a prescribed temperature in a “hot room.” He claims that the combination of these elements is his own, and in this way he is contributing uniquely to the yoga canon. So while he is not attempting to patent single poses—as is often misperceived in the messy battlegrounds over this traditional knowledge—he is definitely encouraging the commercialization of yoga. Bikram calls himself the “yogi to

one can’t help but notice the irony in the translation of the Sanskrit word yoga as “union” or “balance,” which refers to the ultimate goal of yoga: to be merged with the divine spirit, free from the bondage of the material world and the clutches of desire.

A consensus on the limitations of ownership is nearly impossible to reach because of the divergence of perspectives on rights of possession, and is likely to continue to be a controversial battleground between a multitude of cultural and ethical backgrounds. So, is greed an intrinsic part of ownership? Yes and no.

Intellectual property, as a means to attain profit, seems to be motivated by greed, but perhaps this is a necessary greed that drives our society. We love material progress and we love new things. People need motivation to develop these new things and being able to profit from innovation through a system of patents provides one motivating factor.

But perhaps we are moving away from this.

There are the beginnings of a more collectively shared knowledge system, especially online, with the development of open sourcing, free software movements, Creative Commons licenses, and file-sharing. While the complex motives, ideas and practices behind these movements could fill an article of their own, many share a similar premise—that intellectual property laws benefit the few makers of existing ideas, but in doing so, restrict the freedom of would-be innovators to learn from and improve on them. To encourage creativity, such groups often include “copyleft” licensing agreements that allow users to make and distribute their modifications, but only if they share them free of charge. In recognizing the chaotic, collaborative nature of the creative process, these movements are marking a return to a more traditional means of generating culture and ideas.

“Yoga poses are collective knowledge in Hindu culture, transcending generations, so it is difficult to accept that one person should benefit from a claim to such shared intellectual property.” the stars” and has franchised internationally, opening hundreds of studios.

The Indian Government, in an attempt to protect traditional knowledge, created the Traditional Knowledge Digital Library in 2001 to compile yoga postures, as well as plants and Ayurvedic (traditional Hindu medicine and nutrition) remedies. They are on the defensive because pharmaceutical companies worldwide make fortunes developing drugs sourced from plants found in developing countries, mining traditional knowledge to do so. The Indian government posits that 200 patents are approved every year based on traditional Indian medicines, and none of these profits are seen by the people of India. So far, it seems that India is being exploited by those eager to profit from the country’s great stores of traditional knowledge. In the case of yoga patenting,

Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 11

pyramids and pizza hut Sarah Kanko

S

tanding in the shadows of the pyramids at Giza, I marvelled at how different the world seemed.

The climate, the landscape, the food, and the customs were all wonderfully foreign and I was excited to begin immersing myself in the local culture. Little did I know that beyond the vast ancient monuments, lavish Ramadan feasts, and haunting Egyptian music, I would also find the percolations of Western culture.

Pizza Hut, in fact, in the foreground of the pyramids. How did this fast food restaurant, born of Western insidiousness, get here? Out of all the possible American influences, why did Pizza Hut have to take root in this ancient city? In hindsight, I realize I should not have been so surprised.

Egypt is, after all, a country living in the modern age.

It is plugged into the world through internet, television and tourism, and is exposed to many global influences.

So, why not have a Pizza Hut? The more connected people become through technology, the more sharing of ideas and beliefs becomes inevitable.

Globalization has made it unbelievably easy to access a myriad of cultures. But being wary, I suspect that ease is not the only factor that has facilitated this sharing. Some credit must, after all, go to the greeneyed monster that is cultural envy.

If envy isn’t always obvious, it’s probably still there. While Eastern nations build Pizza Huts and wear American Apparel, we in the West drink Chai teas and practice yoga. There is always at least one thing we all find attractive

12 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

or even irresistible in other cultures, but rather then admiring it from afar, we greedily absorb it into our own.

Though I sound condemning, I too am far from innocent.

In fact, I spent two weeks envious of Egyptian culture. No matter where

jealous of the people for whom this was the norm, and I saw just how much of this culture could easily improve the West.

But when experiencing cultural envy, we sometimes do lose perspective. Longing for part of Egypt’s culture, I didn’t immediately see the parts of it that I would not have liked so much. For instance, the obvious double standards for what men and women are allowed to wear and do in public. This is reminiscent of Eastern countries that have hastened to adopt the fast food culture of the West without considering the consequences.

The troubles caused by globalization and cultural envy, however, are deeper than the proliferation of fast food. Rapid and vast access to the world’s cultures is only beneficial until foreign practices are adopted at an unprecedented and uncontrolled rate, blurring disctinctions between cultures. At one time, the meetings of civilizations and languages enriched cultures, but today’s meetings seem to lead to an inevitable global homogeneity that destroys unique identities and leaves us with less than what we had before.

Nonetheless, culture envy—harmful elements artwork by afrisa yeung aside—is necessary for I went, everyone was friendly. Ramachange. Without striving towards betdan festivities, full of music, laughter, terment, whether it be borrowed or and good food, lasted long through new, we could hinder our cultural evothe night. And best of all, life in Egypt lution. We just have to figure out how seemed centred around the commuunique cultures can survive the mess nity, worlds away from my Toronto of globalization. Because at the end of home where I barely know my neighthe day, some things just taste better bours and a stranger would never open than others—I would choose Fetir over the doors into their home. So, I was Pizza Hut any day.

Nuit blanche

Catherine Mary Zagar on contemporary art reborn through social media

O

n 2 October 2010, Toronto celebrated its fifth Scotiabank Nuit Blanche event, and on its fifth anniversary, I found it in the midst of self-regenesis, in between urban and virtual worlds. For 12 hours, from sunset to sunrise, from 6:57 p.m. until the first early morning GO transit departures, the downtown city core was transformed twice: by contemporary artists, and by the crowds (this, year, the million faces) who passed through, each time making something new out of their relation to the urban and the artistic—the intimation of a sleepless wonderland journey. Every year this double spectacle also requires parallel effort, in the continuous consumption of your favourite coffee, and the active search for the white, nebulaic logo traced from one-nightonly maps of the city onto the night sky, the paved ground, and the walls and windows at the heart of Toronto. This year, however, with the introduction of new avenues for open participation, my Nuit Blanche experience re-became something almost entirely new.

Photography by james rouleau

Only hours before the event began, several members of Arists Anonymous (McMaster’s informal interdisciplinary arts collaborative) including myself, brought 1,000 paper cranes to Trinity Square and strung them vertically alongside the fountain. We wanted to harness the movement between the flow of water and the flow of people that compelled wish-making and propelled the nighttime wanderers through a space of actualizing fantasies. Like the rest of the night, the theme was in-between—light and dark, architecture and void, physicality and dream, a series of comings and goings. It was all open space. Along with 130 featured exhibits this year, Nuit Blanche welcomed spontaneous installations, and so we were there for the first time, and on their fifth anniversary, transforming the city ourselves, irrelative to maps and therefore occupying new and virtual space.

How I thought to draw visitors to our spontaneous installation was an equally new and virtual experience.

This year, I was invited by the city to be a “Nuit Narrator,” an on-the-

ground social media journalist of sorts, whose job it was to affect the motion of the crowds by offering up live streams of narrative. Twitterlike dialogues of particular places invited participants to seek out and transform these spaces for themselves. At Trinity Square, I wished for gummy bears and a clear night sky. At 3 a.m. we returned to find that someone had arrived and folded their map into another paper crane and tied it to a string of ours. He wished for less wind and more love. But our art, and my job, were only two facets of the city’s plan for new, more freely shared experiences of Nuit Blanche.

The night began this year with the launch of several new digital applications, aimed at event-goers, to factilitate the real-time production and consumption of information about Nuit Blanche. The “Nuit Narrators” worked on the ScribbleLive platform, pooling stories and photographs via Twitter, Facebook, text and email to nine large digital screens installed above exhibits across the downtown core. But there were other Continued on Page 16 Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 13

Photography by James rouleau

nuit blanche

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artwork by janine wong

artwork by afrisa yeung

Artwork

Photography by Jeremy forsyth

Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 15

Becoming Carnivalesque, 2009

My phone tells me it is still before midnight when our crumpled itineraries are pushed into our pockets with a temporarily forgotten zone C, and my partner and I wake up in the unmediated experience of the place: moving in a whirring of coloured light through the downtown financial district, crowds of faces spinning in the air, children and adults shrieking alternately with delight and dismay.

Dipping, sliding, and wildly falling carnival rides flash malignantly against a thick backdrop of concrete, glass, and ticker tape. We look up, around.

I am bewildered, somehow delighted, but tense to the spectacle. We look up. We move up. And in no time we’re careening prostrated and face-first and poorly positioned on the yellow weight of a Fun Slide, like the kind we had as children every mid-May, too young to think about art and money.

My thoughts: a photograph, and the position of our bodies moving downward to the pavement. A

“Nuit blanche” continued from Page 16

tion. Experiences of the event became suspended in between the real and the virtual, an incredible mirror for the movement between urban and artistic, and all of it continuously accessible on the digital screens—something I found an appropriate virtual narrative incorporated into concrete, glass, and our wishbecoming paper cranes.

applications included in the “Share Your Night” experience that let any Nuit Blanche wanderer with a phone access maps, plan itineraries, and share stories and photos from anywhere, at any time. Even without a phone, you could stop at any Nuit Blanche information centre throughout the night and “upload” your experience via publicaccess computers on the street.

What happened was a new and spectacular transi-

Reading Beckett in Narrow Spaces, 2010

It might be 4 a.m. at the point when dawn is something I feel on my cheeks and the backs of my hands, but light is still in an underworld asleep somewhere in that space behind concrete and frozen clock faces. Since midnight I’ve fallen asleep and woken in any number of narratives, of coming and going, of being situated in between: while my fingers are numb on a cell phone keyboard, I am caught in the intricate 16 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

mass text message: it is not as cold as last year, but my pocket change could have been better. I am disoriented by the lights, the crowd, and the weight of this exhibition’s accusation. I record our location, spin around, and move forward. We pick up two pennies from thousands, minted and shining at the corner of the dark street, where another crowd gathered to shuffle the impossible wealth across the sidewalk.

And then later, at another exhibit, I toss my penny into a black capacious pool of vodka, and make a wish.

Photography by james rouleau

folds of paper spheres, the silence striking piano keys into audition, the shadows of bodies upside down on the face of the Royal Ontario Museum. My partner and I walk in transitions, his camera eye and my story-telling fingers, and somewhere between here and the other end of the night, someone is reading our vision on a bright screen.

We are made liminal, squeezed somewhere between the cold air and a digital art-journey-dream.

It might be 4 a.m. at the point where I turn, remembering some future I might have read. In the alley

between 67 and 69 Yonge Street, I think of Samuel Beckett, and of how it is always too early in the morning to think about negative space, how the alleyway is a fissure, how these giant clown-heads imagined themselves squeezed into the architecture, how their distorted red smiles became a whimsical post-apocalyptic vision written in between those side-facing window sills. But the exhibit is called Endgame, and my partner hates clowns, and I pass quickly between them, and take note of their being and having been while shivering into the beginning of morning.

paint it maroon Neva Haddit

I

have been a McMaster Marauder Grinch. But, I wasn’t always that way. In fact, when I was a child growing up in Hamilton, I dreamt of wearing maroon and grey jerseys, running for the Les Prince Field endzone, and being at the top of the Mac cheerleader pyramid. I

artwork by mandy shek

loved attending Marauder sports events and hanging around campus.

I was unofficially in campus public relations long before the age of twelve; I bled maroon long before the colour was the subject of a new athletics re-branding campaign.

I was thrilled when, in the spring of 2010, McMaster declared the beginning of ‘Colour Your Passion,’ a new Marauder spirit movement. Soon after this announcement was made, the walls of the David Braley Athletic Centre (DBAC) began spontaneously turning maroon, a new athletics shop was taking form, a countdown website was born, and talk of free student admission to varsity games was abuzz.

I, the Marauder superfan, was immediately insulted by the goals and promises of the campaign. On the new ‘Colour Your Passion’ website, one of the first videos explained that the new campaign was all about “Giving the colour ‘maroon’ a new edge.” This ‘new’ edge was one based on pride, excellence, and a winning attitude—in other words, nothing new at all.

All one has to do is look at the important presence of the Maroons on campus or student involvement in Welcome Week to see that these qualities are alive and well at McMaster.

While I was throwing a hissy fit about the outrageous claims that these things were somehow not already a deeplyentrenched aspect of Marauder athletics, something on the campaign website caught my attention. The new Ma-

rauders basketball coach, Amos Connolly, reminisced about times when students at Marauder basketball games exceeded seating capacity. I remember these games vividly from my childhood and I could not recall a single varsity contest I have attended as a McMaster student that was as well attended as the ones I attended growing up.

I thought back to the past four Homecoming football games where I was disappointed to see the number of empty seats in the Ron Joyce Stadium. I thought back to sparsely populated volleyball games, when the squads were nationally ranked the very top. “Where was everyone,” I would ask myself.

Connolly answered. “We didn’t have to pay admission back then.”

I listened, and I heard what I considered to the first redeeming quality of the whole campaign.

McMaster students wearing maroon would be admitted for free to all home basketball and volleyball games for the 2010-2011 season.

The issue for students, I am certain, has never been a lack of pride in McMaster. Blaming the recent attendance problem on a lack of student engagement is shortsighted. Instead, the problem lies in students’ wallets—the source of most of our problems. When games are free, students come. When Athletics & Recreation ask us to fork over six bucks, we decide that the money is better spent on Ramen noodles and Union Market coffees.

This is where ‘Colour Your Passion’ scores. Students want to be at games. Our Marauder teams need students’ support. By making this support easy for students to provide, the situation becomes a winning one for all sides.

This season, the admission offer for students will only apply Continued on Page 19 Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 17

Power/Play On polarization Yang Lei, Columnist

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quick glance at the current political landscape of our neighbours to the south will show how polarized their politics has become. With midterm elections approaching, there is more sniping going on than in a game of Call of Duty. Between the rallies, the repetitive talk show hosts, and the tea, biscuits, scones and what have you party, the political environment seems tediously familiar. In this mentally numbing climate, the Colbert/Stewart March is enough to restore sanity and to make one weep— tears of joy because it so aptly mocks the situation, and tears of despair because there is such a situation to mock. But if we up north put aside our superiority complex over the USA for a moment, we can see that the polarization of US society is just another instantiation of what has plagued democracies since antiquity.

Two conditions are required for the polarization of society: 1) the freedom of press, or another accessible way to influence and manipulate public opinion, and 2) a crisis or hardship afflicting the society

18 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

Artwork by Anne van Koeverden

in question. In times of prosperity, different factions and parties fight and squabble over primarily minor issues. Regardless of what convoluted policies are implemented, they will ride the wave of economic prosperity and the people they govern will be happy. In times of hardship, people look for a scapegoat. In reality, hardly any hardships can be solely blamed on one cause. However, scapegoats cannot consist of abstract thoughts about the ultimate cause of issues. Instead, the demagogues and parties capitalize on people’s anger and resentment and blame the other party. The second party, now on the defensive, quickly realizes that the best defence is a robust offense. After fending off the initial challenges, the second party begins pointing out all the sabotage and delaying manoeuvres used by the first party in their political attack.

Now, throw down the gauntlet and state that all those who are not with you are against you. Sample the opinion of the moderates, declare them traitors, and slaughter them. Voila, you have a society that

is essentially at war with its other half, blindly denouncing absolutely anything—regardless of rhyme or reason—that comes out of the other camp. Those with moderate opinions keep quiet for fear of being branded as the opposition, and civil war ensues. While this may be a tad dramatic for the current situation in America, it is the exact progression of events that happened in Corcyra, an island in the Ionian Sea, during the Peloponnesian War (431 to 404 BCE) in Greece. The problem of polarization facing America and the West is not new, but rather an old acquaintance for societies.

Polarization is built on the process of othering—creating the “other” and setting up your group in opposition ready to defend against them. In times of crises people feel threatened and, thus, naturally stick closer to their group. But when the in-group preaches that another group is the root of all the problems in society, members feel compelled to follow the group opinion for fear of being kicked out. We are more Continued on Page 19

comfortable with processing dichotomies than the complex range and spectrum of reality. Therein lies our affinity for othering: if we create an other, then our choices, opinions, and guiding direction forms itself as “everything the other is not doing.”

In othering a group to be the scapegoat, we forgo the complex explanation of the way our hardship came to be and instead say “it’s their fault!”

The polarization of a society flows naturally from there. Some examples from recent memory include the anti-Semitism in Europe before the Second World War, the expulsion of South Asians from Uganda during Idi Amin’s rule, and the race riots in Malaysia shortly after independence.

But before the idealists all rise and form another student activist group for the ending of othering, I should say that othering is natural to us and gives very tangible benefits. Humans simply do not have the energy and resources to treat everyone equally in terms of closeness. You will defend your family from mortal danger and you purchase gifts for your friends. You cannot apply both of those benefits to everyone you meet. Early society taught us to draw the most rudimentary boundaries of our in-group and our out-group. Hence the emphasis on the importance of family in all cultures—they are the people most immediate and relatable to you.

Since then, we have learned conve-

nient ways to form our in-groups: race, religion, nationality, gender, etc. Welcome Week is a classic demonstration of the power of ingroups, out-groups, and othering.

The first years, put in a new environment, must immediately form groups, in this case not for security, but for a sense of inclusion. From

“Though we may not have reached full relationship capacity, our ability to maintain social bonds is certainly finite.” this comes groups based on high school, based on residences, and based on faculty. It takes weeks for those kind of barriers to fully break down, and they were only erected in the span of a week, and when in no mortal danger. In-groups formed

by even larger numbers of people in a more stressful time last much longer. Though we may not have reached full relationship capacity, our ability to maintain social bonds is certainly finite. Thus the process of othering is a necessary and useful social tool to allocate our personal resources appropriately.

How then do we reconcile the benefits of having in-groups and out-groups with our tendency to look for simple explanations in the minefield of othering? Two and a half thousand years ago in Corcyra the island became less volatile and polarized only when the war had ended and the reconstruction was overseen by political moderates working under the framework of a Spartan victory. We can hope for the same thing in Western society.

As America and the Western world pulls out of the economic recession, people will less likely be charmed by the two poles. People who have jobs to feed their families and who do not know anyone out of a job are unlikely to take to the streets or phone in to partisan radio shows.

Until the economic ship rights itself, those who are in the centre can only resist being tugged to either pole as much as possible. The waves will be rocky, so keeping your balance will be hard and getting back up after falling harder still.

paint it maroon “paint it maroon” continued from Page 17

to basketball and volleyball home games. Hopefully, this benefit will soon be extended to football games as well. By making varsity games accessible to students, we are removing the greatest barrier to getting students in stadium seats.

While I certainly see this cost as the greatest impediment to student attendance, it is still crucial to provide further motivation for students who might not have a natural interest in varsity athletics. As a student on the MacInsiders forum aptly noted, “the free admission may be a catalyst that lowers

the activation energy, but without the right reaction conditions the reaction will not drive forward.”

Focusing the ‘Colour Your Passion’ campaign in DBAC, however, is not the most effective way to create the ‘right reaction conditions’ for student pride. I would imagine that the students who frequent DBAC are already more likely to attend an athletic event. A student engagement campaign must extend beyond the confines of McMaster’s athletic facilities, into the rest of campus.

McMaster Athletics and Recreation effectively attempted to

balance out the second part of the student engagement equation last football season. In October 2009, a student football game ticket offered with it a line by-pass and complimentary admission to 1280 on game night. Couple this incentive with a free validated ticket, and students have even more of a reason to show up at varsity events.

But, as the year continues, my heart has grown back to its original size.

McMaster students are certainly a lot of things, but unengaged is definitely not one of them.

Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 19

3duped Ishani Nath

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s the novelty of high definition (HD) film and television begins to fade, the entertainment industry is exploring new ways of making our cinematic and television experience as ‘real’ as possible. To avoid losing their audience to the physical world, media companies are investing in 3D to ensure that viewers stay glued to their seats. Whip out your glasses and get comfy. We’re about to delve into the media’s obsession with all things 3D. Reader discretion is advised.

When you don your sexy, twotoned spectacles, this is what happens behind the scenes: images on red and blue superimposed layers, each slightly offset from each other, create a picture that literally jumps off the screen. This illusion was discovered in the early 19th century and has since been revived. The simplest form of three-dimensional entertainment is found in print. Being bullied out of business by the internet, the industry has adopted the 3D gimmick to increase sales. In June, Playboy released its first ever 3D centerfold, bringing lonely boys everywhere one step closer to a real naked woman. Maxim followed suit with a 20 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

Artwork by afrisa yeung

3D spread of Anna Kournikova in its October issue. Hugh Hefner admitted that the use of 3D isn’t as inventive as it is marketed; the very first issue of Playboy in 1953 was planned to include 3D features but due to budget constraints Hefner was forced to limit it to only two dimensions.

In fact, 3D was added to the entertainment family much earlier than often thought. The underlying technology was conceived in the 1890s, around the time that conventional film was born. Though 2D films had a quick delivery from invention to theatre, 3D films experienced a longer gestation period because of the technology required to realize them. The Power of Love, released in 1922, was the first 3D film shown in public theatres. Whether it was the experience of seeing black and white through red and blue glasses, or simply the trauma of enduring a chick flick in multiple dimensions, 3D didn’t quite hit it big. It wasn’t until the early 1950s that it reached its ‘golden age’. During this time, 3D movies were popping up faster than whack-a-mole critters and included everything from Son of Sinbad to Kiss me, Kate to Robot and Monster.

Always looking for new ways to satisfy their customers, the adult film industry began exploring 3D technology in the 1970s. Porn had a hard time adding the third dimension to their movies because of the increased cost of production required.

Despite these obstacles, the industry found a happy ending in 1969 with the release of The Stewardesses, a soft-core sex comedy in 3(double) D. The film pleased audiences so much that until this day, it remains one of the most profitable motion pictures of all time. The Stewardesses would have also held a spot as one of the most successful 3D ventures in history if not for a bunch of scantily clad Avatars that entered the race.

Hollywood experimented with 3D in the 1990s and 2000s, but it was generally limited to Pixar’s animated brilliance. Avatar opened the experience of 3D films to modern and mature audiences. James Cameron explained that “after Toy Story, there were 10 really bad CG [computer generated] movies because everybody thought the success of that film was CG and not great characters that were beautifully designed and heartwarming.

Now, you’ve got people quickly converting movies from 2D to 3D, which is not what we did. They’re expecting the same result, when in fact they will probably work against the adoption of 3D because they’ll be putting out an inferior product.”

Not only did 3D allow theatres to hike up their already inflated ticket prices, it also added momentum to an industry suffering at the nimble hands of downloaders. 3D ensures that audiences flock to theatres instead of Megavideo. With newly restored self-esteem, Hollywood began producing any and all things in three dimensions. In 2009, over 20 movies were released in 3D, including Ice Age, Final Destination, and of course, Avatar. One year later and the films show no signs of downsizing a dimension. Hollywood is not only capitalizing on audiences’ craving for 3D in current and future films, but also in older movies. Classics like Star Wars, Titanic, and Top Gun are already in the process of getting a 3D makeover.

As entertainment companies realize the power of three dimensions, 3D technology steadily creeps into people’s homes. CBC recently aired 3D footage from Queen Elizabeth’s 1953 coronation. The Queen was hyped as an “historic milestone broadcast” because it was the first Canadian documentary to be shown in three dimensions. Canada Post distributed two million pairs of free 3D glasses across the nation specifically for The Queen.

Unfortunately, not even a threedimensional royal wave can make the Queen’s coronation exciting.

In March of this year, Samsung and Sony debuted 3D TVs. Aimed at gamers and media junkies, these sets work by combining 3D glasses with 3D content, a 3D cable/ satellite box, and a 3D television. When all of these elements align and audiences sit right in front of their televisions with the lights dimmed to just the right hue, then, and only then, do images emerge from the screen. The hard-hitting action of sports lends itself well to three-dimensional viewing, and as a result, many sports broadcasters have invested in 3D options. ESPN 3D was launched this year, claiming that it will allow audiences to “watch sports like you’ve never seen them before.”

However, this one of a kind viewing experience is only available to those with the full 3D package. Across the pond, 3D technology is being made more accessible. This year, the Six Nations rugby games were shown in 3D in both British theatres and local pubs. The Brits are also in the process of implementing three-dimensional broadcasting of the upcoming London 2012 Olym- pic Games.

T h o u g h 3D has been revived, don’t let its expensive makeover deceive you. Beneath its repackaged exterior is the same old technology, haggard and tired. With the explosive success of Avatar, 3D continues to infiltrate more and more media outlets. Steve Jobs recently combined the technolo-

gy with iMania, and has started producing iPhones with 3D capability.

3D is the entertainment industry’s booty call, used for quick and dirty fun. While the media flirts with prospective technology to revitalize the industry, 3D technology is brought in to satisfy audiences through a haze of red and blue. Though 3D boasts a career that even Betty White would envy, it is time to set this mature media to rest and move on.

Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 21

Embracing the freshman fifteen Erin Chesney & Janie Ginsberg

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Artwork by ERIN CHESNEY

lthough everyone’s university experience is unique, some specific happenings are inescapable, and for good reason too. Getting to know new people is inevitable when the proximity between your naked body and the person in the shower beside you is a mere foot. Dealing with ridiculous amounts of homework, becoming very familiar with the world of multitasking, struggling with time management, and getting out of bed for false fire alarms are all part of the university lifestyle. However, there is one term associated with first year living that students fear most: the freshman fifteen. Generally, our society views weight gain as negative, but not only does the freshman fifteen have its perks, it is a rite of passage into university living.

Let’s be honest, sometimes the heating systems in residence run as if they were put there

simply for show. If you think they will provide you with all the heat you need during our great Canadian winter then we suggest you call home and add a Snuggie to your Christmas list. The freshman fifteen adds an extra layer of warmth to your body, which will improve your ability to study in your room and sleep comfortably.

As well, if you are strong-willed enough to keep your freshman fifteen throughout the summer, it will put you ahead of the game for second year living. Entering the realm of grocery shopping for the first time, plus the absence of your beloved meal card is a recipe for student starvation. The freshman fifteen you have kept will keep you alive until you learn to cook and fend for yourself in the University Plaza Metro.

In the meantime, do you remember what it was like to literally be a kid in a can-

dy store? Well, McMaster University took the only two good isles at Bulk Barn and placed them right in the middle of Centro and MUSC. Gaining fifteen pounds in order to fulfill a dream you’ve had since childhood seems like a pretty good trade off to me.

Finally, have you ever noticed that all university apparel has the word “sweat” attached to the front of it? Make no mistake my friends; McMaster is only embroidered on sweatpants and sweatshirts for a reason.

McMaster has built the whole first year experience around allowing you to embrace your freshman fifteen from the food it provides to the clothing it sells. So let’s just face it, embracing the freshman fifteen is practically mandatory and is a necessity for the true first year experienceg. Gluttony has never tasted so sweet.

Three signs you aren’t treating your fifteen right

1. The elevator is broken in your residence, so you decide to take the stairs. Wrong: call the repair company and grab a snack while you wait for them to fix it.

2. Your friends are starting an intramural soccer team. Sounds like fun, right? Wrong: weekly games will mostly likely burn a few pounds off your precious freshman fifteen.

3. You meet a really nice boy/girl in the library who asks you on a lunch date to a hip new healthy lifestyle restaurant that prides itself on making everything with whole grains and not serving fried food. Dealbreaker: you know why.

ThREE signs you’re right on track

1. Your potential Halloween costume ideas are all food based. Face it, what isn’t sexier than a slutty chocolate bar?

2. All the new clothes you purchased at the start of the school year no longer fit you. Time to ditch the tight jeans and embrace the elastic comfort of sweatpants.

3. You are a part of the reason that The Pulse made the no tank top rule.

22 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

Review more is more

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hile “Less is more” is a common adage for teaching moderation to the virtuous, the wicked and immoral food writers of Incite will have none of that. Instead, they’ll have heaping plates of the sometimes glorious, sometimes grody, all-you-can-eat fare this city has to offer. Voracious readers who agree that more is more should take note of the following establishments:

graphic by yang lei

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After receiving our first plate of sushi, we were perplexed. Three pieces of spicy salmon roll; two hungry Incite writers. Naturally, we each took a piece, avoiding the awkward question of who would get the third. Eventually, after an intense battle of wit and raw physical strength, Meg claimed the leftover piece.

Go Tempura 15 Cannon Street East

11.99 All-you-can-eat lunch menu ($13.99 Fridays and Weekends) Jeremy Henderson & Meg Peters

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the end of our meal, our bellies were protruding, and belts had to be removed. The sweet waitress brought us our bill, and we were once again perplexed. Three lychee candies; two happily bloated Incite writers. No intense battle followed, as we abandoned the leftover candy to pay for our feast. Fortunately, our wallets sustained less damage than our waistbands; the bill came to $11.99 each, plus tax. Comparable in quality to other sushi restaurants in Hamilton, at a fraction of the price, you can’t afford to not to try Go Tempura.

After sulking in his Miso soup for a few minutes, Jeremy recovered and ordered twenty-four pieces of sushi, ranging from the sweet mango to the unique wasabi and mayo roll. Meg ordered some edamame, and devoured the entire bowl within seconds of its arrival. Don’t judge; edamame is a vegetable (green soy beans served in the pod). Distracted by his missing out on the edamame, Jeremy clumsily and repeatedly dropped several pieces of BBQ eel into the soya sauce, somehow simultaneously destroying his phone and making a scene. It was endearing, and a bit pitiful. The staff was very accommodating, and slightly amused.

One thing we noticed about the restaurant itself was the lack of patrons; apart from us, there was one other woman in the dining room. However, halfway through the meal, we noticed that there was another half of the restaurant that we initially overlooked, which seemed slightly more populated. Regardless, the service was very quick and courteous. Every four and a half minutes, the shy but kind waitress topped off our glasses; it almost seemed like we weren’t drinking any tea at all. Our large orders of sushi came within five minutes of each order, the larger-than-average square pieces ornately displayed on colourfully decorated plates. The menu featured sushi standards such as the Avocado Roll (which is exactly what it sounds like: avocado slices rolled up in edible seaweed and sticky rice), as well as specialty rolls like the Dynamite Roll (which is less true to its name, consisting of tempura shrimp, roe, and radishes, with a zing of mayonnaise).

Also included in the price was ice cream for dessert, available in five flavours: mango, mint chocolate, red bean, vanilla, and green tea.

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Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 23

Mahal Restaurant 22 King Street East

graphics by yang lei

10.99 Lunch Buffet

On Cameron Amini a Sunday afternoon we stopped by the Mahal Restaurant. Despite being in the busiest area of downtown, with Jackson Square in sight, the restaurant was almost completely empty when we stepped in.

We took our seat right by the window overlooking Gore Park, and watched the chaotic fluttering of birds being fed and chased. The hustle and bustle of downtown Hamilton was an interesting spectacle to watch as we sat comfortably in our quiet little restaurant.

My first plate I had unthinkingly covered with a pakora dish I had never seen before. Little pakoras, filled with potatoes and little vegetable bits, floated in a bright, multi-coloured and oily paste. Its less-than-mouth-watering appearance notwithstanding, it was one of the most impressive Indian dishes I had ever had, and its creamy texture and rich taste had me going back for more. Chris, wooed by the variety of meat dishes, filled his plate with the most filling and greasy foods. Though Chris later regretted choosing plates that could make a bear feel bloated, he did enjoy the tender goat curry and the savoury tandoori chicken. The naan was crisp and tasty, and complemented the moist butter chicken well. The selection of meats was surprising considering Indian restaurants are often vegetarian, and not one of the dishes was excessively spicy. The buffet seemed somewhat like an introuction to Indian food, rather than an authentic Indian dining experience.

By the end, I totaled an impressive five plates. My technique was simple. Each trip to the buffet counter, I filled my plate with everything in reach, and then noted all the delicious grub I had to come back for. Chris’s carnivorous selection of foods defeated him after a measley two plates, and he was forced to watch in shame as I, his younger and scrawnier companion, kept returning to the counter for more.

We finished off with a creamy and viscous rice vermicelli pudding, as well as custard, both of which were sweet, but not too sugary. The food was enticing enough to cram unhealthy amounts into my belly and distort my centre of balance. The restaurant itself was enjoyable to be in. The location was perfect. There was plenty to watch outside our window, and I can’t say we were very surprised when a dwarf dressed like Elvis passed by. Inside, the service was friendly, and the atmosphere relaxed. You can always count on an Indian setting and exorbitant amounts of food for peace of mind before midterms.

Considering the lunch buffet was $10.99, we will definitely go back whenever we feel the slightest temptation for gluttony. Though if yearning to let our inner Sharo Khan out, we might go to a more intensive Indian dining experience.

24 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

Honest Lawyer 110 King Street West 10.98 all-you-can-eat wings Mondays after 4 p.m., with drink purchase.

Wing night at the Honest Lawyer, a sports bar in Jackson Square specializing in “restraurantainment”, drew a large and diverse crowd.

Suit-wearing professionals, Abercrombie-wearing bros and our ravenous reviewers all dined together in the tavern’s atmosphere of sensory overload.

Plasma TVs and arcade games flashed in the background. A pump-you-up hard-rock soundtrack made us even more eager to join in the wing buffet. The service was slow, but after we ordered drinks, our waitress brought us the hilarious water-park-esque neon wristbands that would allow us entry into the buffet.

The wristbands were a preview of the general tone of a meal which would best be described as “feeding,” not “dining”. Before our first trip to the buffet, we were provided with a large metal bucket in which to dump our wing bones. We couldn’t believe that we would need the giant pile of moist towelettes set down on our table, but in the end we did. Our bucket and towelettes were accompanied by the standard plate of carrot and celery sticks with ranch dip (the waitress warned us not to ask for the dill dip, which she described as “kinda disgusting.”)

Yang Lei, Chris Hilbrecht & Hilary Noad If the wings had been better the experience could have been amusingly gross, a sort of guilty pleasure. As it stood, many of the wings were overcooked, and what’s more, the buffet was struck by chronic wing shortages as the cooks struggled to keep up with the patrons’ appetites.

There was a good variety of flavours (mild, medium, parmesan, Frank’s Red Hot, buffalo ranch, honey garlic, and Ultimate BBQ to name a few). Unfortunately, many of the flavours weren’t especially good. The Buffalo Ranch wings were a mysterious creamy orange colour and didn’t taste much more appetizing. The medium wings were suspiciously mild.

To be fair, the honey garlic wings were tasty and tender, but overall we were underwhelmed by the wings’ quality.

Nevertheless, we were eventually overwhelmed by their quantity. Hilary managed to put away 18 wings along with a ginger ale before calling it quits. Yang and Chris each managed 24 washed down with a pint. Ultimately, the Honest Lawyer gave us a chance to pig out, and it didn’t pretend to do much more. If gulping is your only game this place might be for you, but more discerning gluttons should stick to the other joints in this review.

graphics by yang lei Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 25

Man versus burger Will van Engen

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n high school English we learned the various types of conflict narratives that can arise in pieces of literature. Man versus man was embodied in the Hobbesian struggle between Jack and Ralph in Lord of the Flies and the epic battles of the Iliad.

In Moby Dick we saw Captain Ahab’s feverish obsession with conquering nature. Turning inwards, Raskolnikov’s moral debates in Crime and Punishment demonstrated the fundamental narrative of man versus self, which is the most important of all.

Yet there is an important category of conflict that is mysteriously left out of our educations. It is known only to those brave souls who mesmerize and confound us with their professional eating abilities. I’m talking about legends like Takeru Kobayashi and Sonya Thomas, whose abilities to ingest unholy amounts of food deserve more credit than they receive. They’re the godly figures who measure in gallons and buckets, not cups and teaspoons, who don’t know the meaning of stop, and who eat enough meat to more than make up for the world’s vegetarians. These 26 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ November 2010

artwork by afrisa yeung

are the people intimately involved with one of the fundamental conflicts ignored by literary narratives.

I am talking about man versus food.

The following account seeks to restore this conflict to its rightful place among, and perhaps atop, the others. So sit down, grab an unhealthy amount of something delicious, and chow down on this tasty morsel.

Before I begin, I would like to express my thanks to Alex McPhail, Chris Hilbrecht and Sam Colbert for their unquestioning moral support during this challenge. Where other friends may have warned me of the inherent health risks of such activities, these remarkable fellows saw my undertaking for what it really was: something hilarious to do before going to a party.

1:15AM My belt is undone, shirt untucked and I can’t stop from shaking. I’m breathing heavily. On the plate in front of me are the mangled remains of what was once a mighty threepound burger from Big Ed’s Diner.

With all the strength I can muster I portion off a piece of patty and eat one more morsel. There’s nothing I’d rather do than put down the fork and give up, but I’ve got three of my best buddies along with me and I can’t let them down. They’ve been with me through it all and I want to make them proud. I look back down at the plate. Only eight bites left. I can do this.

12:28AM The waiter stares blankly back at me. “Are you really sure you want to do that?” I nod my head. With the sigh of someone who has witnessed too many people succumb to gluttony, he scribbles the order down and disappears into the kitchen. A few moments later, two other employees emerge. “Five bucks say the little guy can do it.” “No way, you’re on.”

I look up at the wood-paneled wall and see a collage of past burger conquerors. If I’m successful I’ll be up there along with the likes of Furious Peter who downed the burger in a stunning 2:26.

12:31AM The burger arrives. It’s the size of my head.

12:35AM The burger is a masterpiece and a delight to eat. Every bite is full of the rich, smoky flavours of the handmade patties. The tomatoes, lettuce and bun, while dwarfed by the beef, provide a fresh counterbalance to the wall of meat that is the rest of the burger. I try and pace myself, savoring each monstrous mouthful.

1:01AM I’ve never been so aware of my stomach.

The first few bites of the burger were delicious. Hell, the first few pounds of the burger were delicious, but now I’ve reached the last third and I’m beginning to feel unnaturally full. I order another saucer of dill pickles. They seem to be the only thing keeping me going. I had been

advised that adding sauces and other flavours would help fight the monotonous taste and make the burger easier to eat. So far, it seems to be working.

1:12AM I’ve completely lost sanity. I slam my firsts on the table, grab a menu, and shield myself from the burger. If I can’t see it, it can’t see me.

1:02AM After taking a sip of water I have an especially difficult time putting the glass back down on the table. I’m beginning to lose motor-function and the world is spinning more than usual. It doesn’t help that I’m beginning to get burger-induced hallucinations.

As the walls begin melting and colors blend together, I start to consider abandoning the behemoth burger in favour of my health.

1:25AM I haven’t taken a bite in ten minutes. I’m now openly reconsidering eating the burger. The thought of taking another bite is enough to make me gag. I begin to realize that I can still win by not finishing. On the contrary, forcing myself to eat the rest of this burger would be giving the burger the power. I don’t owe the burger anything. In fact, I would be exercising my free will over the burger by leaving without eating it.

It wants me to eat it, but I won’t give it the satisfaction. I throw down my napkin, and surrender. In this struggle between man and food, I have lost, but in the struggle between man and self, I have won. I gave up on the burger, but conquered my pride.

1:09AM Seeing my slowing pace and my hope fading, my comrades order ¼ lb. “Moral Support Burgers” so that I don’t feel so alone in my struggle.

photography by chris hilbrecht Volume 13, Issue 2 ▪ Incite Magazine ▪ 27

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