April 1, 2015

96th year • Issue 27

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

By My Side The IC is publishing a special edition, “By My Side,” which discusses relationships.

To focus our resources on this important project, we did not include the usual Community section in this week’s paper. www.IndependentCollegian.com

Serving the University of Toledo community since 1919

INSIDE

APRIL FOOLS’ DAY

NAGI’S NOODLES Former president opens new noodle nook

By The Dependent Collegian staff

New sheriff in town Freshman catcher Montoya impresses the team right off the bat.

“

SPORTS / 6 »

“But if it does happen, we request that they at least make it beneficial for both students and alumni. In the deal so far it seems like students who are here to learn don’t get anything, while the alumni who are periodically on campus get a newer, bigger building.”

Engineering students are in for a real treat as the North Engineering P.O.D. has disappeared. In its place, a brand new noodle shop called Nagi’s Noodles opened Monday.

“As long as I was in the office of the president, I had this feeling, you know?” said Nagi Naganathan, outgoing University of Toledo interim president and owner of Nagi’s Noodles. “Like I really want to open a restaurant!

And where better to do that than my own home college, engineering?”

He reflected on his cravings for real noodly food during his Walks with the President.

“We would walk around the Student Union, past the food court,” he said, “and my mouth just wouldn’t stop watering as I thought about all of the delicious noodles I could be making right now.”

Naganathan said his new restaurant is the perfect way for students to re-familiarize themselves with his presence on the engineering campus as he prepares

to return to the office of the dean of that college.

Other students say they are incredibly excited to get their noodle on at Nagi’s Noodles. One even went so far as to say she wants to “eat my every meal there, morning, noon and night in Nagi’s.”

A few customers noted that the portion sizes at Nagi’s Noodles are quite large. Naganathan said that was his way of encouraging students to tackle the big problems of student life and building a career.

“How do you eat an elephant?” he asked. “One bite at a time.”

Happy April Fools’ Day! This story is meant in jest…and although it

Vagina Monologues takes the stage

UT offers free tax preparation service

“

“Why pay for a platform most professors and some students don’t use?”

FAITH SNYDER If we pay for Blackboard, why don’t professors use it?

OPINION / 4 »

Anderson is acclimating well in sophomore season under new staff Pitcher Emily Anderson has sat down 278 batters in her first two seasons.

SPORTS / 8 »

Drag and talent will combine in Rocky’s Attic IC Staff Reporter

OPINION / 4 »

NEWS / 3 »

EVENT

By Anna Glore

EDITORIAL Rocket Hall blasting off

The United Way and UT have partnered to offer free tax preparation to lower-income individuals and families in the greater Toledo area.

will probably never happen, we can dream, right?

Also, Naganathan never really said those quotes.

No noodles were harmed in writing this story.

COURTESY OF VICTORIA BALL

The cast of “The Vagina Monologues” participate in the final act by demonstrating different kinds of moaning. Different acts demonstrated different feelings people have about vaginas. The event took place March 27 and 28, and featured women’s stories about many topics, including rape, learning to love their bodies and what their vagina would say or wear if it could.

MAIN CAMPUS

Rocket Hall to be converted into new UT alumni center

By Jessica Harker Staff Reporter

The University of Toledo’s Board of Trustees recently heard a proposal to convert Rocket Hall into a new alumni center.

The UT Foundation hopes to use the land to create a newer and better location where the university’s constituents will be able to gather, according to Matthew Schroeder, the vice president of real estate and business development at the UT Foundation.

Regarding the plans for the new alumni center, Schroeder said the goal is to create “truly a special place for our alumni to engage with their alma mater,” and an alumni center “really fosters the ongoing growth of what I’ll describe as our constituent base.”

Jason Toth, associate vice president of facilities and

COURTESY OF THE UT WEBSITE

Rocket Hall may be converted into a new alumni center by the UT Foundation. Though the plan is still in a conceptual phase, a proposal was recently presented to the Board of Trustees during a financial meeting.

construction, said the plan is still in its conceptual phase, and there is not a clear plan yet on what will happen with the various services currently housed in Rocket Hall.

“The parcel of land on which Rocket Hall sits is an attractive site for an alumni center given several factors,”

Toth said.

These factors included close proximity to retail development at Gateway, the possible future growth in phase two of Gateway along Dorr Street, and the strong possibility of the new interSee Rocket Hall / 10 »

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to go to a drag show? You can experience one right on campus at the University of Toledo’s own Bi-Annual Drag and Talent Show.

LGBTQA student organization Spectrum will host the show on April 9 from 8-10 p.m. in Rocky’s Attic.

“This is a time for students to showcase their talents, whether it be music, dancing, art, poetry or the ever-popular drag,” said LaVelle Ridley, a third-year doublemajoring in English and Africana studies who is RIDLEY also a former president of Spectrum.

Tyler Quinn Parkins, a fourth-year pharmacy major and Spectrum vice president, said students won’t be the only ones performing. In addition to anyone who is looking to showcase their talent, or those who are doing drag for fun, professional drag queens will be participating as well.

“For drag, we have people from Toledo who are actually professional drag queens, they come in and give us a show. It’s fun when we do that, because we try to emulate what it’s like at a real drag show, minus the alcohol,” Parkins said. “But we try to emulate that so we have fake money to tip them with, and you can tip them with real money if you want; it’s just a really good time.”

Ridley said the If you go event is free to What: Bi-Annual the public, but is Drag and Talent especially geared Show. toward members Where: Rocky’s of the LGBTQA Attic. community who When: 8-10 are looking for p.m. on April 9. a safe place to Sponsored by: socialize. He said Spectrum. any UT student is able to sign up to perform any kind of talent, but drag is the main talent to be presented.

“The show also serves the purpose of familiarizing students with the art of drag, which is an integral part of the LGBTQA community,” Ridley said.

See Talent / 10 »

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| The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015

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CAMPUS DIGEST

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QUESTION OF THE WEEK

What is the best April Fools’ prank you’ve done?

“Someone I know “We kept raising the put wet paint on chair on our teacher a door so anyone who was short.” who pushed it open Madaline Keil would get wet paint First-year Communication on them.”

“I once told my mom that I got a girl pregnant.”

Sean Kaighin

Fourth-year Interdisciplinary Studies

Christian Kunitz

First-year Communication

The Independent Collegian staff Visit us at Carlson Library, Suite 1057 Write to us at 2801 W. Bancroft St., Mail Stop 530 Toledo, OH 43606 Contact the editor at editor@independentcollegian.com Advertise by emailing sales@independentcollegian.com Phone: 419-530-7788 Fax: 419-530-7770 EDITORIAL Editor-in-Chief Amanda Pitrof Managing Editor Samantha Rhodes News Colleen Anderson and Trevor Stearns, co-news editors Sports Blake Bacho, editor Marcus Dodson, assoc. editor

Community Alexandria Saba, editor Joe Heidenescher, assoc. editor Opinion Morgan Rinckey, editor Copy desk Lauren Gilbert, editor Jared Hightower, editor Photography Andrea Harris, director of photography Adellyn McPheron, assoc. director

BUSINESS Business Manager Philip Nolletti Advertising Zachary Hartenburg, sales manager Enzi Satine, Tom Smith, William Woodson and Neil Young, account executives Distribution Samuel Derkin, manager Operations Andrew Rassel, manager COLLEGIAN MEDIA FOUNDATION General Manager Danielle Gamble The Independent Collegian is published by the Collegian Media Foundation, a private, not-for-profit corporation. © 2014

NEWS Follow us on Twitter @TheICToledo

IN BRIEF

Open mic for National Poetry Month and sexual assault awareness Open mic night for National Poetry Month and Sexual Assault Awareness “Poetry in the Attic,” an open mic night recognizing National Poetry Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month, will be held Thursday, April 2nd, at Rocky’s Attic in the Student Union from 7-9 p.m.

The YWCA will also be accepting non-monetary donations during the event.

The event is sponsored by the Department of Women’s and Gender Studies, the UT Sexual Assault Education and Prevention Program, the UT Feminist Alliance and the Division of Student Affairs.

Snacks and beverages will be provided.

For more information, contact Lanette Dukett at 419.261.3349 or lanette.ducket@rockets. utoledo.edu.

Youth revolt discussion April 1 Dr. Reza Aslan, a New York Times best-selling author and scholar will be the speaker at the University of Toledo’s Imam Khattab Lecture to discuss “Youth Revolt: The Future of the New Middle East.”

Aslan’s focus at the lecture will be on the ever-increasing amount of young adults in Middle Eastern countries and the campaign for more rights and opportunities.

The free and public lecture will be held Wednesday, April 1, at 7 p.m. in Nitschke Auditorium, followed by a reception held in the Brady Engineering Innovation Center.

National Walking Day The University of Toledo will celebrate National Walking Day with the American Heart Association today and will begin with a kickoff event from 11 a.m. to noon at the Morse Center on the Health Science Campus.

During the event, UT Rocket Wellness will launch their four-week walking challenge in which they ask people to walk for at least 30 minutes every day.

For more information on the walking challenge, go to utoledo.edu/offices/ rocketwellness or to join the Heart Walk, visit heart.org/toledowalk.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015 | The Independent Collegian |

3

Stranahan Hall temporarily closing Wednesday, April 1, Stranahan Hall will be closed between 6 a.m. and 8 a.m. Facilities and Construction said a piece of heavy equipment will be moved from the roof by crane, and no one can be present for safety reasons.

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TAXES

UT offers free tax preparation service

By Trevor Stearns Co-News Editor

The United Way of Greater Toledo partnered with the University of Toledo College of Business and Innovation for the fourth year in a row to offer their free 2014 tax preparation.

The free tax preparation is available by appointment only and is located in the Alan Barry Accounting Lab, room 2130 in the Savage and Associates Business Complex.

According to Toni Shoola, program manager of the United Way Free Tax Preparation Program, this program was an initiative started by the IRS. “The free tax preparation program is what is known as a VITA program,

If you go What: Free tax preparation Where: Alan Barry Accounting Lab room 2130 in the Savage and Associates Business Complex When: By appointment only Sponsored by: The United Way of Greater Toledo,in partnership with the University of Toledo College of Business and Innovation

which stands for Volunteer Income Tax Assistance, and it is actually an initiative with the IRS, and then the IRS partners with different agencies

and entities in communities all across the nation,” Shoola said.

The program is offered to not only UT students, but people in the Toledo area as well, as long as the individual or family made less than $53,000 in 2014.

According to Janet Mosebach, an accounting professor at UT, volunteers who are trained in preparing taxes are used for this program, most of whom are UT students.

“Volunteers can be anybody, but on campus, we typically try to staff the campus site with students since they’re close by and it’s easier for them to do that and we don’t have issues with parking,” Mosebach said.

“There are some employees at the

Star-Spangled Songfest

CURTIS LANE / IC

The fraternity Phi Kappa Psi performs during this year’s 78th annual Songfest. Songfest is UT’s second oldest tradition, originating in the spring of 1937. The theme for this year was ‘Star-Spangled Songfest 2015: A Tribute to American Music Icons.’ All proceeds from the event go to a philanthropy each year, and the philanthropy for 2015 is ‘The Wounded Warrior Project.’ Last year’s proceeds went to ‘Make-A-Wish’ foundation.

This week in SG: Referendum: • A proposal to allow the student body to vote on divestment passed 20 to 5.

Resolutions: • A resolution to allocate up to $500 to RockeTHON for food and other expenses passed.

• A resolution to put in a new bus stop at the Edge apartment complex passed.

• A resolution to let commuter students with C parking permits to park in D parking spaces from 7-11 p.m. on weekdays passed.

• A resolution to call for an extra SG meeting in April to discuss operating procedures for the 2015-16 academic year passed.

• A resolution calling SG to use only the 2014 version of their constitution, rather than referring to older versions, passed.

• A resolution to change the date of withdrawal for students to be changed from the 10th week of the semester to the 13th week of the semester passed.

Bill: • A bill to allocate funds for Interim President Naganathan and Provost Barrett’s farewell reception on April 29th passed.

university as well, but they’re mostly students that come here to our site.”

Charles Zinn, an accounting and finance major, said he went through two different types of training before he began helping people.

“We had to go through tax law training and then some management training, so it was a mix of tax and management,” Zinn said.

Mosebach said the volunteers are supplied with the materials they need to learn and are then tested before being sent out to assist people.

“Once volunteers let us know or let the United Way know that they See Taxes / 9 »

INDEPENDENT COLLEGIAN

Staff changes at the IC

By Torrie Jadlocki Staff Reporter

Three staff changes are taking place at The Independent Collegian.

Amanda Pitrof, former news editor, will be promoted to editor-in-chief. She will be replacing Amanda Eggert, who will graduate this May. “I was pretty excited,” Pitrof said.

“Journalism is my AMANDA career path of PITROF preference; it’s become my life, and having that opportunity to help lead this paper is wonderful.”

Pitrof ’s position will be filled by two people: Trevor Stearns, associate news editor, and Colleen Anderson, also an associate news editor. Anderson will be promoted to managing editor at the end of the school year.

Stearns is very excited about the promotion and views it as a stepping stone in his career.

“This is my career field,” Stearns said.

“I would like to be the ediTREVOR STEARNS tor of a professional city paper eventually, so I was pretty excited that I got to move up so fast.”

Anderson said she is looking forward to Pitrof’s leadership and is confident in the staff’s ability to handle their new responsibilities.

“I was excited to hear about it,” Anderson said. “Obvi-

ously, it’s a big step up, and there’s going to be a lot of new responsibilities, but I definitely think I can handle it. I’m excited to see where Amanda Pitrof is going to take the paper next year as editor-in-chief, so I’m glad I get to be part of that.”

Anderson said she has learned a great deal from Pitrof during her time at the paper and said she feels her personal growth has benefited from her months at the IC. “The most important thing I’ve learned from Amanda is that even when I think I can’t do something, what I really need is for someone to tell me ‘you have to do this or something catastrophic will happen,’” Anderson said. “That sounds kind of dramatic, but when it COLLEEN really comes ANDERSON down to it and you have someone saying ‘you need to do this because there are people depending on you,’ a lot of times I will end up finding ways to solve a problem I would never have thought of without that extra push.”

Stearns said he also learned a great deal from Pitrof and said he has picked up some useful tips about dealing with stress effectively.

“From Amanda’s leadership in the past, it’s best if you can keep calm under stress because you’re constantly under stress,” Stearns said. “You just have to keep a cool head about things; make See Staff / 9 »

4

| The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015

OPINION Send letters to the editor to Editor@independentcollegian.com

www.IndependentCollegian.com

EDITORIAL BOARD

Colleen Anderson Samantha Rhodes

Joe Heidenescher Morgan Rinckey

Amanda Pitrof Trevor Stearns

Editorials appearing on this page represent the consensus view of the editorial staff. Columns and letters to the editor reflect the opinions of their authors, not those of The Independent Collegian.

EDITORIAL

Rocket Hall blasting off Rocket Hall might end up being used as an alumni center, displacing classes

How many classes have you had in Rocket Hall? Was it more when you were a freshmen? According to Matthew Schroeder, chief operating officer of the University of Toledo Foundation, classes have been systematically phased out of Rocket Hall and moved to other buildings on campus. This leaves Rocket Hall open for The UT Foundation to turn into an alumni center. They want to use the extra space for a dining room, meeting and conference rooms.

For those of you who don’t know, UT already has an alumni center. Driscoll Alumni Center is right across the street from University Hall, on Bancroft. Some of you might have had classes, lectures or gone to presentations in Driscoll.

If Rocket Hall turns into an alumni center, then classes, offices and departments will have to move. Some of the places that they will move to probably won’t be as convenient. Currently, the Counseling Center is in a secluded corner of Rocket Hall, offering shelter to those who need help. If moved, they could have the same problems as they did a few years ago, when the student protested the sexual assault education and prevention program from being moved into the Student Union.

Rocket Hall is a convenient location for both those who live on campus and those who commute. Rocket Hall is the nearest academic building for many of the dorms. This makes it an easy walk from someone’s room to class. They don’t have to walk clear across campus for one class. They can just walk to class and easily walk back to the dorms, rather than having to sit in the library because it would take too much time and effort to walk back before the next class.

Rocket Hall is also easy to get to for commuters. There always seems to be a lot of open parking over there, unlike in the garages where it is a game of hide and seek to find the last parking space before the other drivers do.

Rocket Hall is close to other businesses. One of the reasons students eat at places off campus is because of their locations.

The restaurants and businesses in Gateway will have less student attendance because it won’t be convenient. Currently those businesses are right down the street from Rocket Hall and the classes and offices there. Students who can use their Rocket Dollars there won’t if their classes are elsewhere and closer to other eateries and businesses.

Representatives for the UT Foundation have said that with donations they will renovate Rocket Hall, but they didn’t say how moving everything out of Rocket Hall will be paid for.

This should not have to be paid for by students.

We are against Rocket Hall turning into an alumni center.

But if it does happen, we request that they at least make it beneficial for both students and alumni. In the deal so far it seems like students who are here to learn don’t get anything, while the alumni who are periodically on campus get a newer, bigger building.

Find a way to please all of us, because someday the students who would be displaced by this change, will become the alumni. And they may choose whether or not to donate to the school.

COMMENTARY

How to make Toledo better This past weekend, I learned about a radio show, “The Business Blackthe city of Toledo and its economy, and board,” which is on 1370 WSPD from I was intrigued by the ideas that our Saturdays 8-10 a.m. This radio show community leaders discusses the good and universities had to in Toledo and how share. It got me thinkbusinesses help our ing. How can other city grow economiuniversities better cally. Last Saturday, Toledo? we had students from Last Friday, I BGSU come in and helped Jeffery Potter, discuss their business the CEO and innovaprogram called, “The tor of Potter TechHatch.” “The Hatch” nology and SkyLIFE is based on the televiTechnology, by atsion show “Shark tending to a seminar Tank.” This program about the economic allows students to development in have a unique opthe Toledo area. This portunity to launch IC COLUMNIST seminar is based on their ideas and create the former president a business. It is a cool of University of Toledo Daniel M. way for businesses to bloom.

Johnson’s most recent book called As I was listening to the seminar “Leading Economic Development: and the students from BGSU sharing A Toolkit for Public Officials and their ideas, it got me thinking about Civic Leaders.” This book is about what universities can do to better what leaders can do to be more Toledo. Johnson and other community successful and how leaders can help leaders made it clear that universities the economy grow. The community are important for our economy. And I leaders mainly discussed that we, as completely agree that universities are a city, should move more businesses the foundations that help cities grow. in downtown Toledo.

Universities are one of the top reasons I thought that was a wonderful idea, that bring people to stay. The universibecause there are so many abandoned ties and the students are one of the buildings that could be restored with keys to unlocking that goal. Universiunique restaurants, studios or other ties are the foundation that helps cresmall local businesses — but how can ate new ideas and new opportunities that be done? that will help make a city grow.

Every Saturday I help out and assist According to “Liberty Street Eco-

OLIVIA LATZ

nomics,” by Jaison R. Abel and Richard Deitz, universities are a huge asset, because they spend money on local areas and workers. It also contributes stability. If the “workingage” had at least a bachelor’s degree, the article states that students would “tend to be more innovative, have greater amounts of economic activity, and enjoy faster economic growth, and workers in these regions tend to be more productive and earn higher wages.”

The downtown is already growing with the help of the Mud Hens. During the seminar, the Toledo Mud Hen’s president and general manager, Joe Napoli, explained The Hensville project and how Hensville will help make a difference in the economic growth.

ProMedica is also making a difference and moving to downtown Toledo, which brings around 2,500 jobs.

I came to the conclusion that if we want to build up Toledo, then we have to make the businesses want to move to Toledo. Giving business assets and tax breaks will help. From what I learned over this weekend, in order to help expand our economy, we must have great leadership, true collaboration and create trust. With the help of the universities, the community leaders and the people of Toledo, we can help make a difference in our city.

How can YOU better Toledo?

Olivia Latz is a second-year majoring in communication.

COMMENTARY

If we pay for Blackboard, why don’t professors use it?

As the year slowly comes to if perhaps I had just received an end, I’ve begun to realize that teachers that don’t use it while the a valuable tool on campus isn’t rest of the professors are diligent being used by much of the staff about it. But after having talked and students. The concept of with other UT students, I’ve found Blackboard is to much of the same keep in touch answers. So what with professors, is it about Blackand up-to-date board that profeswith grades and sors on campus assignments. I’ve hate, and if it been here almost isn’t up to their a complete year at standards why are the University of we still using it Toledo and have instead of another noticed many of platform? Why my teachers are pay for a platform not using the key most professors tool the university and some students has provided us. don’t use?

Out of the eleven While for many IC COLUMNIST professors I’ve had students this might this year, four used not be such of a horit fully as a grade book and to pass rible issue, it’s just grades and you along information, handouts and can always make them up, but it’s other useful tools to their stuhard to do when you have a chronic dents. One teacher used it merely illness, are struggling to keep a for participation points while the scholarship in which you need to rest of the grades were kept on maintain a certain grade point averanother grade book platform. This age or simply if you value the educais frustrating to a student who is tion and scores you are getting in a really interested in keeping tabs certain class. on how well they are doing in Personally this issue has aftheir class and what measures they fected me in multiple ways; I’ve need to do to perhaps improve been having health issues lately their grades. and upon asking for assistance, I have been curious about the the success coach I spoke to use of Blackboard and wondered couldn’t offer me insights into

FAITH SNYDER

helping with my grades or dealtion when it comes to contacting ing with the stress of having a teacher. Professors are busy such grades because none of my people who don’t have too much teachers have my scores posted time to sit down and have a huge online. Combined with the stress conversation about your path in of completing their class all the assignments, the time. As these are stresses a student I’ve Out of the eleven always started college students professors I’ve had out with email, shouldn’t have unless you have to deal with on a this year, four used a few professors, daily basis. Stuit fully as a grade like I did, who dents shouldn’t book and to pass never answered have to worry their emails. about the fear of along information, After you’ve losing a scholarhandouts and other emailed your ship before they useful tools to their professor, the can’t do anything next option about it, failing a students. would be to ask class because the them before or teacher didn’t after your class, put grades in to see they had forgotten to complete or during the professor’s office hours, if you could have a moment one assignment or even have to of their time to talk about the lack worry about what the final grade will look like because you’re in the of grades on Blackboard. Usually, I’ve gotten an answer from a few dark about each assignment and teachers at this step and found this quiz you’ve turned in. is the most useful way of contactSo what can you do to keep up ing them. on grades if you’re taking a class The most complicated, timein which a teacher either does not consuming and often mistakeuse Blackboard, or does not input filled way is to calculate your grades into Blackboard until the grade all by yourself, by colend of the year? I’ve found a mixlecting all the assignments you ture of multiple things has helped have had in the past semester me keep a vague idea of what my and finding the average grades. grades look like.

This option doesn’t account for First, email is always an op-

attendance, if you cannot remember how many days you have missed, extra credit, curving of the grades or other fluctuations that are commonly found within the grading system.

If these options do not work, or you simply feel the need to make these problems known, the final option is to direct your frustrations and complaints to the head of that specific department of which the class is housed. For example, a chemistry professor you have complaints for is to be directed to the department’s chair of that specific division. If you need help on who to contact for the professor, the dean of students can assist you.

Blackboard was meant to be used as a useful and key tool to this campus, but until the staff and students learn how to use it frequently, its presence is pointless.

The lack of usage in the UT community is beginning to affect grades, scholarships, stress levels and all around patience of many university students. Until the problem is solved, many students will carry on in constant anxiety and worry about the state of GPAs and midterm grades, stresses which a modernday college student simply cannot handle for long.

Faith Snyder is a first-year majoring in English.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015 | The Independent Collegian |

CLASSIFIEDS

MORE ONLINE

How I survived my first year of college Coming to the University of Toledo last year was the biggest and best change of my life. Because I am from the small town of Urbana, Ohio with a graduating class of 133 people, you could say I was definitely shell-shocked when I arrived. Walking into my first lecture hall class was extremely terrifying because the class was so big and intimidating. I felt like a little fish in a huge pond trying to stay afloat with many of my classes.

Walking around campus the first couple of days during “Welcome Week” and getting familiar with the buildings helped ease my nerves for the first day of class. Walking across the bridges and

through Centennial Mall was a beautiful experience. Looking at all the buildings and the architecture through campus was so breathtaking. I never thought I would attend such a beautiful college, especially in Toledo. I was now able to relax and not worry about where my classes were; I timed how long it took to get to each building from my dorm.

Knowing how long the walk was to each class and where they were definitely settled my nerves. I was going around with my phone taking every path I

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HELP WANTED

TALORE BROWNING IC COLUMNIST

could think of and timing to see how long it would take and I even added time just in case I was stuck behind slow walkers.

What really helped me settle in and actually like being away from home...

Finish reading this piece online at www.IndependentCollegian.com

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Hands off Venezuela, no to sanctions One year ago a small cabal of Venezuelan students on campus decided they would slander the legitimate government of Venezuela. They draped a banner in the Student Union that read: “S.O.S. Venezuela.” Blood dripped from the words, implying that the government had drowned the “opposition” (confined almost exclusively to wealthy and upper-class neighborhoods) with violence.

In reality, the Venezuelan government was extraordinarily lenient with protestors, and casualties were split almost evenly between often violent demonstrators and progovernment supporters. The anti-Maduro Venezuelan students on UT’s campus often represent the same narrow sliver of socioeconomic wealth from which the opposition in Venezuela derives its base.

Now these same students have sunk to a new nadir. They are calling for sanctions against their own government. Valentina Diaz Trejo argues that “Venezuela benefits from sanctions” in her opinion piece from March 25, 2015. She explains that the government has been involved in “fraudulent actions” such as “stealing billions of dollars” from citizens and “drug dealing” (which, aside from it being an absurd claim, does not qualify a government for sanctions).

She attempts to portray a government on the verge of collapse, and cites an awkward combination of “facts,” curiously absent of many statistics, to support her claim (Caracas is a dangerous city, there is inflation and unemployment, etc., none of which qualify a government for sanctions). Here is what Ms. Trejo ignores: 1) Since 2002, the free government program Misión Robinson has taught more than 2.3 million people how to read and write. In 2007, the literacy rate for 15-24 year olds of both sexes was above 98%.

2) Due to programs such as the National Technological Literacy Plan, which provides free software and computers to schools, 35.63% of Venezuelans were Internet users by 2010.

3) The primary school completion rate for both sexes has increased from 80.8% in 1991 to 95.1% in 2009.

4) Infant mortality rates have reduced from 28 per 1,000 in 1990 to 16 per 1,000 in 2010 (a 46% drop).

5) The amount of people living in poverty in Venezuela has decreased from 54.5% in 1997 to 33.2% in 2011, while those in extreme poverty have reduced from 29.8% in 2003 to 6.8% in 2011.

6) The percentage of the population with sustainable access to drinking water has increased from 68% in 1990 to 92% in 2007.

7) Wealth inequality according to the

GINI index (the lower the number the more equal) has reduced from 48.8 to 39.02 in 2011 (Venezuela is now *more* equal than the United States).

8) From 1995 to 2011 the share of wealth of the poorest 20% has increased from 4.3 to 5.7%, while the wealth of the richest 20% has decreased from 51.8 to 44.8%.

9) Since 1998, the Chavez/Maduro government has won FIVE presidential elections, and their party, the Partido Socialista Unido de Venezuela, has won a dozen regional, parliamentary, and referendum votes in what former U.S. president Jimmy Carter called “the best election system in the world.”

She then cites the “death and imprisonment of many students and opposition leaders,” utterly failing to mention the murders of pro-government forces, including many civilian supporters, by opposition thugs and terrorists. The opposition engaged consistently in a variety of activities that disrupted Venezuelan society, even blocking roads and interrupting daily life. The government’s response was overwhelming patience.

Aside from the delusions of wealthy Venezuelan expatriates in Toledo and other U.S. cities, there is nothing the Venezuelan government has done that warrants sanctions. The primary reason they want to apply sanctions is because Chavez, Maduro, and the PSUV have threatened both the cupidity of the ruling class in Venezuela and challenged US hegemony in the region. As scholar George Ciccariello-Maher has argued in Jacobin magazine, “While the Venezuelan opposition in Venezuela is almost as delusional as the Venezuelan self-exiles in Miami [or Toledo], there’s one big difference: opposition leaders on the ground have to live with the consequences of their catastrophic decisions… [Thus] while radical right-wingers in Florida [or Ohio] may be celebrating the sanctions, it would be suicidal for the opposition in Venezuela to do the same. They would simply prove what Chavistas already believe: that they are treasonous lapdogs of imperial power.”

Indeed, students at UT and people of conscience should not fall for the narrative espoused by “treasonous lapdogs of imperial power.” It is imperative, now more than ever, that progressive forces here in the US and around the world stand up and say “No to Sanctions!” and “Hands Off Venezuela!” Within just over a week four million Venezuelans signed a petition condemning sanctions against their country. We ought to listen to the millions of urban workers and campesinos, not the spawn of the elite here at UT. — Derek Ide and Robbie Abdelhoq, president and VP of Friends of Venezuela Society

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CLERICAL STAFF AND TECHNICIANS WANTED Heartland Healthcare Services, a long term care pharmacy, is currently seeking Pharmacy/IV Technicians and Clerical Staff for our location in the South Toledo area. Full and Part-time positions are available on various shifts. All positions require a reliable, well organized individual with basic to intermediate computer and communication skills and someone who is able to work in a fast paced environment. You may apply in person or mail your resume to Heartland Healthcare Services, 4755 South Avenue, Toledo, Ohio 43615, fax to (419)535-5682, or email sjagodzinski@hhstol.com

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6

| The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015

SPORTS Follow us on Twitter @IC_Sports

IN BRIEF

UT gets swept in Sunday’s doubleheader against BG

The University of Toledo softball team dropped both games in Sunday’s doubleheader against arch-rival Bowling Green at BG’s Meserve Field.

UT opened Mid-American Conference play with a 7-3 game one defeat, followed by a 4-0 loss in game two.

The Rockets (12-18, 0-2 MAC) had trouble getting off the field in game one, committing five errors and was forced into a 5-0 deficit by the second inning.

Sophomore pitcher Emily Anderson came in the second inning and stopped the bleeding. She allowed just four hits and sat down five in 5.2 innings.

In the bottom of the seventh the Rockets finally found some offense scoring three runs off of the long ball from sophomore IF Chandler Rice and freshman catcher Kaitlyn Bergman.

In game two, the Rockets would struggle out the gates again, trailing 2-0 after the first inning.

That was all the Falcons needed.

UT will travel to Western Michigan for a doubleheader on Friday, followed by a pair of games at Northern Illinois on Saturday and Sunday.

Sathika Ruenreong two-under par marks season best Toledo’s woman golfer, junior Sathika Ruenreong, 54-hole total of one-under par on Tuesday at the web.com Intercollegiate tournament marked her career best performance as she finished 10th.

The tournament included 17 teams and four teams that are ranked among the Top 50 teams in the country at the Marsh Landing Country Club in Ponte Vedra, Fla. Ruenreong finished her last 11 holes at three-under par, birdied consecutive holes to complete her day with a two-under par 70. Her performance helped pace the Rocket to their best round of the tournament at seven-over par 295.

UT will break out the clubs again when they compete in the Bowling Green’s Dolores Black Falcon Invitational, April 11-12.

UT stays undefeated in the spring The Toledo Rockets women’s soccer team has had early success in the start of their 2015 spring season.

UT (2-0-1) has two wins against Horizon League members Oakland University and Valpraiso and played to a tie with Youngstown State.

The Rockets began the season with a victory over OU, 3-2. Sophomore Kiersten Johnson recorded a brace and redshirt freshman Hannah Scafaria would find the back of the net to help lift UT past Oakland.

The Rockets defeated Valpraiso 1-0. Junior Megan Connor scored the lone goal to give UT its second win of the spring Junior Isa Echeverri scored the lone UT goal.

Toledo missed out on several opportunities, as they managed 13 shots on goal.

The Rockets continue their spring season Friday, April 10, as they host Michigan State.

It’s not Rocket Science (Trivia) Who was the first Rocket to make a MLB debut?

www.IndependentCollegian.com

Like us at Facebook.com/ICollegian

BASEBALL

New sheriff in town

PHOTOS COURTESY OF UT ATHLETICS

UT freshman catcher A.J. Montoya (pictured above from a game earlier this season) came into the starting role in the second game of the season and has been in the everyday lineup ever since. He has 30 hits in 27 games played.

A.J. Montoya leading team in 10 offensive categories for impressive start to season

By Marcus Dodson Associate Sports Editor

The casual fan may not realize that A.J. Montoya is only a freshman.

Toledo’s rookie catcher currently leads the team in ten offensive categories. He has a .313 batting average, 15 RBI’s and five home runs.

And Montoya is only 26 games into his collegiate career.

“I’m just seeing the ball really well and not having much trouble picking it up,” he said.

“It looks like a beach ball coming at me.”

Montoya has shocked himself with his early success at

the collegiate level and if told he would post these numbers at the start of the season, well the freshman gave a modest answer.

“I wouldn’t have believed it. When I came into the season all I wanted to do was work hard and try to earn a starting job. Everything else has just worked itself out.”

Montoya’s journey into the starting lineup began last fall with grueling hours spent in the weight room and many practices spent on improving his blocking techniques behind the plate. He was determined to do whatever it took to catch the attention

of University of Toledo Head Coach Cory Mee.

“I trust him. If I need to throw something down in the dirt, he can be a wall and stop it.”

CAMERON PALMER UT senior pitcher

“[Montoya] is an excellent player,” Mee said. “We knew he would have an impact on our season based on the fall and the preseason. You never

really know what kind of impact that’s going to be going into the season, but he has gotten off to a great start and it doesn’t surprise me.

“He plays the game the way we hope all our guys play. He does everything to help our team win.”

In his very first collegiate game against Belmont on February 14, Montoya reached base four times, including two RBI’s and a run scored. The Michigan native has produced nine multiple hit games, a testament to the way he attacks the ball at the plate.

“He has a really good approach from the plate,” Mee said. “When he gets a good

pitch to hit, he takes advantage of it and does something with it. He’s not taking it for a strike, or fouling it off, he’s hitting it and hitting it hard somewhere.”

This aggressive approach has brought with it a high number of strike outs. Montoya leads the team with 31 sitdowns on the season. “[Montoya is] learning what pitches he can handle and what pitches he needs to lay off until he has two strikes,” Mee said. “The only way to find that out is to swing [the bat] and see what you can do.

“As he continues to develop See Montoya / 8 »

FOOTBALL

Kareem Hunt set to build off last season

By Blake Bacho Sports Editor

Kareem Hunt’s final numbers this past season are staggering.

The Rockets’ bruising running back churned out 1,631 rushing yards in 2014, the tenth-most in the country last year and second-most in program history. He was sidelined for three full games and half of two other contests, yet ranked second in the nation in yards per carry (8.0) and third in rushing yards per game (163.1).

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Hunt is really, really good at football.

“It feels really good just to know there’s people on campus that believe in you.”

KAREEM HUNT UT runningback

“It feels really good, just to know there’s people on campus that believe in and trust you,” he said. “I’m going to keep working to get

better and help this team succeed and go far.”

Hunt ended the year on an 11-game streak in which he rushed for over 100 yards in each contest. In two of those games, he only played one half before being sidelined by injury.

That particular issue has once again caught up to the tailback.

Hunt is expected to miss most of spring football as a precaution while he recovers from a foot injury suffered during a practice in mid-March. He will more than likely miss the Rockets’ spring football game, but says you shouldn’t expect to see him sidelined at the start of the 2015 season.

“I’m feeling alright, I’m not too bad,” Hunt said. “I kind of just rolled up on my foot again, but I’m alright.”

The injury comes at a time when most of UT’s offense is in flux.

With Toledo losing its entire offensive line, the veteran group that parted holes for Hunt last season will be replaced by a quintet of fresh faces.

Hunt had five seniors leading the way last year. Next year, he will be trusting five players that have never lined up

together as Rockets.

“I’m not very concerned,” Hunt said. “[The O-line is] coming along very well.

They’re starting to get it. They’ve already made a huge improvement and it’s only spring ball.

“I do have to develop a relationship, but that’s well on its way. Those guys know they have to step up and play a big role. None of those guys really have experience playing at UT, so pretty much I’m going to try and help them gain that trust and experience.”

On top of the question marks along the offensive line, the Rockets’ quarterback competition from last summer is set to dominate the upcoming offseason. Senior Phillip Ely and junior Logan Woodside are both in line for the starting gig, but both are currently rehabbing and are also unavailable for the upcoming spring game.

“Ely is just a braniac. The guy knows the game and he loves it too. I don’t think there’s anyone who has worked harder than him in rehab to get back.”

There are questions

IC FILE PHOTO

Toledo tailback Kareem Hunt running through tackles in a 42-35 homecoming thriller against the University of Massachusetts. Hunt rushed for 198 yards and a touchdown.

along the line and questions under center, but in between the two sits Hunt and the rest of UT’s stable of running backs. The Rockets relied on a dominant rushing attack, led by Hunt, to carry

the team when injuries at quarterback and on defense threatened to derail everything last season.

Sitting behind the Ohio native on the depth chart is sophomore Terry Swanson

and juniors Damion Jones-Moore and Marc Remy. Swanson replaced Hunt and finished with 732 yards and six touchdowns when the latter was injured last season.

See Hunt / 8 »

Answer: Chuck Harmon

Wednesday, April 1, 2015 | The Independent Collegian |

PUZZLES

IN BRIEF Alpha Xi Delta promotes autism awareness

THEME: GARDENING

ACROSS 1. Like something fit for a king 6. ___ Testament 9. *Some cities turn abandoned ones into gardens 13. Savory taste sensation 14. 7 15. Wassailing composition 16. Hundred Acre Wood creator 17. “___ show time!”

18. Bizet creation 19. *Type of garden bed 21. *Comes from certain refuse 23. *Plant need 24. Deal with it 25. Greenwich time 28. Not final or absolute 30. Mourner’s emotion 35. Lyric: “____, born is the King of Israel!”

37. Low-____ diet 39. Lacking guile 40. Orbison’s “____ the Lonely” 41. Asci, sing.

43. ____ gin 44. Silk fabric with wavy pattern 46. Loser’s reaction 47. Kept together 48. Protective embankment 50. Wading bird 52. Old operating system 53. Birthday ____ 55. Last word of a story 57. *Begonias and zinnias, e.g.

61. *Small shovel 64. Brag 65. Williams sister’s return 67. Was rebroadcasted 69. George or Jennifer 70. Follow ems 71. Exclude 72. Barely got by 73. *Nutrient-dense ___ soil 74. Winter driving hazard DOWN 1. Cuba Libre ingredient 2. Arab ruler 3. Apple variety 4. Embryo sacs 5. A dead body that ____ __ state 6. “Metamorphoses” poet 7. English course 8. Studio 54 genre 9. Member of nomadic Scandinavian people 10. Black and white treat 11. High rocky hills 12. *Some use fences of

The Alpha Xi Delta sorority will be celebrating World Autism Awareness Day, Thursday, April 2, by setting up information tables in the Student Union on April 1-2 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.

There will also be a “kissing booth” on April 2 where members of the sorority hand out Hershey kisses with information about autism and Light It Up Blue wristbands. The sorority will be passing along save-the-date cards for their philanthropy dinner later in April.

Later in the evening, Alpha Xi Delta will host a ceremony in which University Hall will be lit blue from the bell tower. The tower will continue to light up every night for the following week.

To learn more about the event, contact Jennifer Huffman at jennifer.huffman2@ rockets.utoledo.edu. it around their gardens 15. Chop-chop 20. Writer _____ Jong 22. Activities, as in military 24. Type of court 25. *Garden ornament 26. Spanish monkeys 27. Denoting the final end or purpose 29. Back talk 31. *Develops after touching poison ivy 32. Ticked off 33. Convex molding 34. *Unwanted plants 36. “Musical” constellation 38. *Tulip starter 42. Bode Miller, e.g.

45. Cheap substitution 49. Afghan monetary unit 51. Saws logs 54. Florida Key, e.g.

56. Persistently complain about 57. “Willing and ____”

Last Week’s Puzzle Solved

58. Barnes & Noble reader 59. Back of neck 60. Second-hand 61. Recipe description

62. PA city and lake 63. Use a ladle 66. Lennon’s partner 68. *Protector from birds

Last week’s solution

University of Toledo raises organ donation awareness The University of Toledo Health is partnering with Life Connection of Ohio and Community Tissue Services in April to spread awareness about organ and tissue donation.

UT Health held a flag-raising ceremony today, but there will be more events to celebrate Donate Life Month.

To learn more about organ, tissue and eye donation, call 800-262-5443 or go to donatelifeohio. org.

7

8

| The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015

SOFTBALL

Anderson is acclimating well in sophomore season under new staff

By Robert Hearons Sports Reporter

The jump from freshman to sophomore year, for any college student, can be a monumental one in terms of selfdiscovery.

For University of Toledo sophomore pitcher Emily Anderson, one thing is clear from here on out: she is a heck of a pitcher with no ceiling in sight.

“This is a whole different season,” said Anderson. “We have a brand- new coaching staff and I’ve worked harder than I ever have before.

“After having a year of college experience, I have a better approach.”

The hard work is paying off. Anderson leads the Rockets with a 4.34 era in 11 starts, pitching nine complete games including a shutout.

Her game has risen from her hard work and preparation, but the most important growth may have been the one within herself.

“I don’t really pay attention to my personal stats, I just come in and work as hard as I can.”

EMILY ANDERSON UT pitcher

“I think one of the main things is the maturity of being a sophomore,” said Head Coach Kristen Butler. “As a freshman, it’s your first year and you don’t really know what to expect.”

College may have been an adjustment for Anderson but softball is something she has always done well.

Hailing from Goshen Ohio, and a

Montoya from page 6

and mature as a hitter, he will strike out less. But that’s something I’m not worried about.”

Montoya’s slugging percentage is .531, but he is

Hunt

from page 6

Jones-Moore earned the Offensive MVP award in the GoDaddy Bowl with 103 rushing yards and a pair of touchdowns. Hunt is clearly the starter, but says that opponents can’t underestimate any tailback in blue and gold next season.

“I’m going to keep working to get better and help this team succeed and go far.”

KAREEM HUNT UT running back

PHOTO COURTESY OF UT ATHLETICS

Sophomore pitcher Emily Anderson (number 10 in the picture above) has sat down 278 batters in her first two seasons as a Rocket.

Clermont Northeastern high school grad, Anderson is a four-time Southern Buckeye Athletic and Academic Conference (SBAAC) Player of the Year. She’s stockpiled a total of 90 wins, 10 perfect games and a school record of 1,265 strikeouts. Holding the single season school records for shutouts, strikeouts, no hitters and perfect games.

“I don’t really pay attention to my personal stats; I just come in and work as hard as I can,” she said.

Anderson’s transition to the college level was smoother than most. As a freshman she recorded 16 wins on the mound, including 226 striking outs and posting a 2.74 era in 245 innings pitched.

With two full seasons remaining for Anderson, her coaches don’t see a limit to her full potential.

“Being only a sophomore I don’t even

more than just an offensive player. He has the ability to play multiple positions, and has spent time at catcher and at each outfield position.

“That versatility is key for us,” Mee said. “He does a good job everywhere we put him. It allows us to keep his

know what her ceiling is,” Butler said. “I don’t know if she quite has one yet, she has a ton of ability and throws the ball hard. She’s such a diverse pitcher, each year we’re able to find another place to build, another pitch. Teams won’t be getting the same look from her.”

After failing to qualify for the MidAmerican Conference tournament last season, Anderson and the Rockets are eyeing something bigger than any of them.

“I would say the first thing is qualifying for the MAC tournament and then win it, that’s the main goal for us,” Anderson said. “It would definitely be a disappointment if we didn’t qualify, because we put in so much hard work and we’ve worked so hard. Even if we don’t make it, we’ve made improvements as a team tremendously from last year.”

In order to achieve the goal of a

bat in the lineup and utilize the strength of our team against the opposition each game by moving other players around.”

The way Montoya brings the same approach from game to game has impressed all of his teammates, including senior RHP Cameron

MAC championship, every player from freshman to senior needs to be on the same page. Now that Anderson has been there, she makes sure she is available for her teammates.

“They have a lot to learn,” Anderson said. “They look up to all of us to help them ease their way into it, it’s a really tough transition.”

With a new staff in hand, Anderson has not let that effect the way she goes about her approach to the game. “[Emily] has been very receptive, there has been some changes with the new pitching staff and she’s been really great about it,” Butler said. “She’s learning what I want her to learn as a new coach. Different coaches want different things from pitchers, and this year being new on staff, I’ve expected some different things from her and she’s stepped up to the challenge.”

Palmer. “[Montoya] plays the game like he’s been here before,” Palmer said. “He’s real calm and collected and doesn’t try to do anything above his ability. He just plays the game.”

Montoya’s attitude, along with his performance, has

earned the trust of his teammates and coach.

“I trust him,” Palmer said. “If I need to throw something down in the dirt, he can be a wall and stop it.”

His collegiate career may just be getting started, but he’s already making a name

“Those guys are going to get a ton of carries too, you definitely can’t forget about them,” Hunt said. “Damion, Swanson and Marc Remy, we have a lot of good backs and they’ll be ready to play for sure.”

Hunt remains the key player for Toledo’s offense and he’s willing to do as much as needed to will the Rockets to victory.

He will take the wear and tear and he’ll do the rehab. All that matters to Hunt is victory.

“Pretty much I just want to build on us running the ball a lot and me getting like 20 to 25 carries a game,” Hunt said. “I’m pretty much just focusing on the norm, on getting a lot of yards.

“I’m going to try to do whatever it takes to help my team win the game, even if that takes me getting the ball 35 times. I’m just going to try and do my best to help them win.” for himself as a Rocket.

“He has inspired our team,” Mee said. “Not just with his performance, but the way he plays the game. He plays the game with a lot of energy and hustle.

“When you play that way, it’s contagious and impacts the team in a positive way.”

Wednesday, April 1, 2015 | The Independent Collegian |

Taxes

from page 3

are interested, they contact the United Way and they set them up with reading materials that are provided by the IRS,” said Janet Mosebach, accounting professor.

“They are some materials that they can use to study from and then they have to take a test to be able to show that they are qualified to help prepare tax returns.”

Shoola said there is a minimum training time of eight hours for the volunteers.

Although this program is trying to help as many people as possible, Shoola mentioned that there are some tax areas in which they lack the ability to offer assistance.

“The only area that we don’t necessarily have the resources is for international students,” Shoola said. “We do have some volunteers who are certified in that capacity, but to be certified to assist foreign students, the requirements are pretty significant.”

She also mentioned that in order to help international students, volunteers must

go through IRS background checks.

So far this year, around 1,500 people have had their taxes prepared for free at UT, according to Shoola, but she said there are plenty more that could take advantage of this program.

“There are approximately 250,000 in Lucas, Wood, and Ottawa counties that are eligible for this program, and last year we were able to help 3,500,” she said. “So there’s a significant difference between the number of people we can assist and the number of people who are eligible in the community.”

Mitchell Boraggina, a first-year criminal justice major, was a fan of the free tax preparation.

“Yes, I think this is a good idea,” Boraggina said. “I think that more students should take advantage of this because it can save them time and money.”

Mosebach said she thought the word about the program didn’t spread as much as they wanted it to, which led to fewer people using the program.

“Our campus numbers are a little lower than we

Staff

from page 3

sure you take control and show leadership to the reporters that work with you.”

Pitrof reflected on what she said she considered important lessons she learned during her time, including ones about perfection and success.

“I’ve learned so many things while I’ve been here,” Pitrof said. “I think, probably the most relevant for me is ‘don’t let perfection be the enemy of good.’ That was a lesson I had to learn in order to be successful.”

With these new positions, there will also be some changes made to the paper both internally and externally.

“I think we’re going to be changing up the structure here at paper a little bit,” Pitrof said. “Internally as well as finding other things we can add to the paper, such as reviews and more features.”

Stearns said he plans to focus on improving writer and editor relations.

“In my own personal preference, I want to have a closer relationship with our writers,” Stearns said. “I want to talk more freely with

were hoping,” Mosebach said. “I think the word just didn’t get out soon enough around campus. We posted some flyers where we could, but some of them had been taken down already.”

Boraggina also offered some ways the United Way and the university could both spread the word about this program, like putting ads in the newspaper or emailing the students and alumni.

Mosebach said the program may struggle to come back in the future if the number of people using the program remains this low.

Shoola said she hopes to continue their work with UT in the future and that she is grateful to have had this partnership.

“We’ve just been overwhelmed by the support of the UT faculty, staff, the dean of students,” she said.

“So yes, we definitely want to continue this partnership, and the program will for sure be continuing as well.”

For those who want to make an appointment to have taxes prepared for free or for more information, dial 2-1-1.

them and see them more around the office. I think that might create AMANDA PITROF a stronger Editor-in-Chief bond between editors and writers, and I think that would honestly help the whole staff here.”

Anderson said she is planning on getting to know the paper as a whole.

“I’m going to be focusing on getting to know all the sections because, as someone being in news, I didn’t get a lot of interaction with other editors,” Anderson said. “Now my focus is going to be not just on learning things about news, but also learning things about sports, community and photography so that I can be an effective managing editor for all the sections.”

Anderson has high hopes for next year and looks forward to seeing how readers will respond to the paper.

“I think the students will be excited to see what we have planned,” she said.

“Don’t let perfection be the enemy of good.”

9

10

| The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Talent

from page 1

Parkins said Spectrum has seen a wide variety of talents in past performances, and sometimes even combinations of the talent and drag categories.

“The Drag and Talent Show, like it says in the title, is two different things at once,” Parkins said. “We have members, community members, anybody at UT can basically showcase their talent, or their drag talent if they have such a thing. We have people who sing, people who do poetry, we have dancing occasionally. I know we have people who like to tap dance and stuff.”

He said the timing of the show also holds a special significance.

“In the spring semester, like right now, we always put it during Diversity Week,” Parkins said. “The reason that we do that is because ... like I’ve already said drag is a big part of LGBTQA culture, but at the same time,

drag sort of challenges people on their idea of gender diversity.”

Ridley said he believes this event will bring awareness to Spectrum, and feels that UT will greatly benefit from it.

“I believe any event or program that brings awareness and appreciation to a community of students benefits the university as a whole,” Ridley said. “This is a night where students will celebrate the LGBTQA community, drag, talent and each other. It is a great night for students who wish to display their talents to express and share themselves with others; that can be very important for LGBTQA students. Validation and support are key facets of Spectrum.”

Ridley himself will be performing in the Drag/Talent show, for the first time.

“This will be my first time actually performing in drag,” Ridley said. “I hope to do a marvelous homage to my favorite singers and performers, most notably: Tina Turner.”

Rocket Hall from page 1

change off I-475 at Dorr Street.

Schroeder said the university has roughly 140,000 alumni and about 100,000 donors the center would be home to, and about 48 percent of them are in the northeast Ohio or southwest Michigan area.

“We’re on the precipice of seeing a rebirth in fundraising, and fundraising cultivation,” Schroeder said, “and a critical component of that is the facilities that help to facilitate that overall cultivation.”

The proposal received a mixed response from groups located within Rocket Hall, specifically in regards to relocation of certain services housed there.

“There’s definitely some issues that you’re going to encounter and the biggest one is the cost of moving our media would be huge,” said Jackie Layng, a professor of communications whose office is

located in Rocket Hall. “I can’t see that being in the university’s best interest of cost efficiency.”

“If we’re going to move, you’ve got to move us to a place that makes functional sense for us, for the students to do what they need to do in their field.”

JACKIE LAYNG Professor of communications

Layng said that unless the university can create a building specified for the communications department, it would not make sense to move the department from their current location in Rocket Hall.

“If we’re going to move, you’ve

got to move us to a place that makes functional sense for us, for the students to do what they need to do in their field,” Layng said.

“So I don’t think it is necessarily a bad idea. It’s just in early stages.”

Not all services in Rocket Hall are concerned about the move, however. Will Pecsok, associate director of the Counseling Center, said he finds no issue with the new proposal.

“I’m assuming we would have enough advanced notice that we could inform students. We’ve moved a few times before,” said Pecsok. “I’m sure we’ll be able to handle it in the future.”

Pecsok said the counseling center could even benefit from relocation considering that they are currently cramped in the office they hold in Rocket Hall.

Schroeder said the proposal has not been finalized yet, and will be taken back to the board for approval in the upcoming months.

Look Great, Feel Great!

A special advertising section to highlight the places around town that can help you with your health and wellness needs!

A special issue dedicated to providing a unique look at relationships of all types and the things that keep us together.

SPECIAL EDITION

2 | The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015

About this special edition...

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

C. G. Jung Psychiatrist and psychotherapist

EDITORIAL TEAM Editing and Design Alexandria Saba, Amanda Eggert, Samantha Rhodes Photos and Art Andrea Harris, Adellyn Mcpheron Cover Art Adellyn Mcpheron Copy Editors Lauren Gilbert, Jared Hightower Contributers Amanda Eggert, Dustin Jarrett, Samantha Rhodes, Ashley Diel, Morgan Rinckey, Colleen Anderson, Alexandria Saba Adviser Danielle Gamble “By My Side” is a special edition published by The Independent Collegian, a student newspaper dedicated to serving the University of Toledo’s community.

The Independent Collegian is published by the Collegian Media Foundation, a private, not-for-profit corporation. © 2015

N

ewspapers are here to get information out to the masses, and there are a million and one ways that we share that information. Should we share some bite-sized statistics? Should we cover a fundraiser for a local nonprofit trying to raise awareness about a topic? Should we write an editorial?

Yes. But so much more.

Relationships comprise our entire lives. Everything we do with another person affects us — and there are so many kinds of relationships we as humans are capable of nurturing and developing. Whether they’re familial, romantic or friendships, every bond with share with someone else changes us in some way and gives us a new insight about the world as well as about ourselves.

Relationships are hard to quantify, wrap up in a nice bow and present to the public. Every story is different because every one of us relates to others differently.

But we should be talking about relationships more, and that’s why we developed “By My Side” — a special issue dedicated to shedding light on the ways in which we connect and bond with others, each of us extracting something unique from all of our relationships.

This isn’t just another issue. These are stories about people from all walks of life. Hopefully, you’ll read something that will inspire you to branch out and seek more meaningful connections with those near and dear to you. Or perhaps you’ll reflect on how your own relationships have shaped you into the truly oneof-a-kind individual you are today.

Either way, we hope you enjoy this celebration of how human spirits interact with each other.

— The Independent Collegian staff

Be sure to check out our YouTube video supplement to this issue. You can find the link on our website or scan the code below.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015 | The Independent Collegian |

3

COMMENTARY

To date or not?

It’s OK to be single

Relationships are worth it

I remember feeling embarrassed and going through the same routine over rejected. and over again, I have come to the realFlashback to Valentine’s Day 10 years ization it’s not me. I genuinely haven’t ago — I had just given a valentine to a found the right person yet and that’s boy I liked from my sixth-grade class. I OK. I’ll repeat myself: It’s OK to be sinwas shy and giddy with excitement. I gle. I need confidence in who I am as a could feel my heart beating in my person and to be on-track with my life throat as I watched him open it. He plan first before I can even consider glanced at it and then to my demise, dating. showed it to the other boys at the table.

I need to be able to make my own deMy sincere act was then cisions and I am not followed by laughter ready for the commitfrom the other boys in ment that goes with beclass and then, to my ing in a relationship. I horror, the girls too. have to make a commitShortly afterward, I ment to myself to be hoped this was the responsible for my own worst thing that could happiness and not rely happen and decided on romantic relationthat I should keep my ships for it. feelings to myself.

Being around friends Many years have and family makes me passed though, and feel joy. I have such a don’t get me wrong — strong connection with I’m still searching for them. I have spent years the one. building lasting bonds I have watched those that wouldn’t have hapFORMER EDITOR-IN-CHIEF pened had I been dataround me form lasting relationships and even ing. I have formed get engaged or married, and I’ve always memories from family get-togethers for had an idea in my mind about my perbirthdays and holidays to road trips fect relationship that will one day apwith my friends to see plays or conpear. One of my favorite movies is certs. Those memories will last because “When Harry Met Sally,” and I have althey aren’t temporary in my life. I take ways wanted my story to match the one comfort knowing I can go to them for in the movie: meet a guy, become anything, but I have learned that only I friends with him and eventually get can provide my own happiness. married. I’ve imagined it countless times I have come to terms with looking for and as I got older and headed off to col- something which doesn’t exist is overlege, I thought I was one step closer to rated. Sometimes I hear the voice in the finding love. back of my head that tells me I need As it turns out, it was the exact oppomore, but I have chosen to ignore it. I site. At a university of nearly 20,000 can be content with what I have in my people, I felt like not a single one wantlife right now and focus on something ed to go on a date with me. I became tangible, like getting my dream job afobsessed with the idea that I would find ter college. someone and a romantic relationship I am not rushing to get into the datcould happen if I got close to him. But it ing pool and start the rest of my life. always ended the same way: “I like our My single years have been some of the friendship, but I don’t want to ruin it.” most memorable of my life and I am This happened to me several times. I’d taking time to do things for me. After tell a guy I like him and then get rejectall, I am the one living my life, not anyed. It made me feel bad about myself one else. and I started to question: What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t this workAmanda Eggert is a fourth-year communication major and former editor-in-chief of ing out?

The Independent Collegian.

After what seemed like a lifetime of

She has green eyes, gentle lips, silky am then truly blissful. black hair and the ability to speak to me It sounds too heavenly to be real, without saying a word — no wonder I’m right? It’s not. But this moment of intihead over heels for such a woman. macy is only attainable if you give love a Love is a miraculous thing. My world fighting chance. spins and then falls into place at the very The choice to maintain or begin a relathought of the person I love. tionship in college is yours alone. For This person, my girlfriend of two and a some, it can complicate their lives. But half years, has helped shape me into the for others, it can change their world. man I am today. Despite life’s pain, sufI’ve often heard people wait to develop fering and emotional relationships until they turmoil, a single kiss and work on developing a warming hug from her themselves first. Though can magically transform this idea, in principle, is chaos to peace. We hold useful for many, I say each other up and help why not cut the time one another stand, reand do both? gardless of the things Relationships help that come between us. you grow on both a When in love, you personal and emotionpush through hardal level with yourself ships to make it work. and someone else simulBut not everyone sees taneously. Each step rethings this way. inforces and cushions In college, people ofyou while you work toten wonder if it’s smart ward growth. to engage in a romantic For example, my girlIC COLUMNIST relationship. Is it worth friend and I both want a the time, the sacrifices college education. She is and the compromising? Maintaining a still deciding what she wants to major in romantic relationship can be challengand where she wants to go. I know what ing and exhausting. I know people I want and where I’m heading, which who’ve ended relationships to get rid she supports and draws inspiration from of “baggage” or to give themselves while I talk her through and support the more “options.” option that best suits her. Working toBut that is just the easy way out. gether helps us individually as well as Life can be a living hell at times — unconnectively. certainty, stress, late nights spent crying I know what you’re thinking: isn’t it and the pressures of everyone’s expectaeasier to give ourselves less to work on tions cave in on me. Though I’m emorather than trying to tackle so many tionally strong, keeping composure can things at once? Maybe. But if we take be a struggle. During these times, I woneach problem day by day, plan ahead der how much more I can take and and work at keeping priorities in perwhether I should seek comfort in somespective, every ounce of effort put into a one else’s arms. relationship is worth it. Romantic relaBut when everything in my life feels tionships are truly compatible with our wrong, my girlfriend feels right. She everyday lives. is my solace. When I crumble, she is To love, or not love? That is the quesmy redemption. tion. I choose love every day and don’t I imagine her behind me, wrapping her regret it. Don’t be afraid to start a relaarms around my chest and whispering in- tionship with someone you love. We all to my ear, “Everything will be okay. I love need that.

After all, it’s love that makes the world you.” My heart melts and I close my eyes, go round. feeling the warm embrace of her tenderness. Happiness washes over me, stirring Dustin Jarrett is a first-year majoring in something deep down inside. Miles away, speech and language pathology. my worries have lost their iron grip and I

AMANDA EGGERT

DUSTIN JARRETT

4 | The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Love despite divorce COMMENTARY

How I learned to empathize with my parents I still remember the day my parents told Addresses and phone numbers rapidly us they were splitting up. changed at a pace difficult for a preteen My brother and I were asked to to memorize, and accepting a new take a seat on the green and mother-like figure was far brown plaid couch, the same from simple. one we snuggled on to You could say I was read “Twas the Night Beoverwhelmed by it all. fore Christmas” mere Through middle and months ago. My mother high school, I felt like a and father nervously constantly packed suitstood before us, the feet case without a home, between them speaking shuffling back and forth louder than the tense from one parent to the lack of words. other with no control over Her face was tearmy own life. Don’t get me stained and his was an unwrong, I had multiple places to readable mask. As my live. But none of them felt like younger brother cried, the home you yearn for after melting in despair over a long trip away. what it all meant, I was in That secure and peaceful too much shock to do anyplace was not a physical one MANAGING EDITOR for me; it existed in pre-dithing but stare — stare at the wall, at the carpet, at vorce memories — of the gathe green polo my father rage door grinding open, the was wearing. beep of a locking car, the creak of the front A few hours later I was upstairs sobbing door swinging open and of my suit-andinto his chest, soaking his shirt with equal tie-clad father after a 10-hour workday parts tears and snot. Denial, the initial regreeting mom with a gentle kiss and touch sponse when your world crashes down, on her hip before hollering out in a mockwrapped me in its clutches and held me serious tone, “Where are my kids?” to prisoner. To witness my childhood hero which we would exuberantly come scamcrying on his knees while he held me, his pering in for a hug. tears wetting my hair to my face, was devI can hear the chiming wooden grandfaastating and terrifying at the same time. It ther clock in the foyer of the last house shook my world. where we were all happy together; I can That was 11 years ago. picture the worn black leather briefcase dad The years following the divorce were un- always carried and the carefree way mom stable and uncertain. I grew up thinking would spoon-feed us grapefruit as we my family was damaged somehow, as I was watched television. the only one of my friends who had two These memories were mine to treasure. houses to visit.

I reached deep within me for them when I learned what to say and what to repress I heard nasty rumors speculating dad had in order to preserve my parents’ feelings. an affair or when mom would furiously Of course I didn’t like moving in with our sling finely crafted curse words at him in grandparents — an ancient house ravaged front of me, placing me in the war zone by mangy barn cats, quilting tools and stat- and indirectly asking me to take a side. ues of Mary — but mom needed the finanI wasn’t angry about the situation; that cial support. Once a stay-at-home mother, was my brother’s primary response. It simshe became a workaholic, taking on miscel- ply wasn’t in my nature to lash out. But laneous home hospice jobs all hours of the there was a debilitating war raging inside day and night to put food on the table. me that I couldn’t make sense of. StrugWe left one school district and merged gling with depression, I was forced by my into another, helped dad move from an parents to go to counseling and try medicaapartment to a new house one state over tion, both of which felt like an insult to my and welcomed his new wife to our family. coping abilities.

SAMANTHA RHODES

Born with a strong introverted nature, I internalized every facet of the divorce. It became my fault — if I had been a better daughter, maybe my parents would have fought harder to stay together. It sounds ridiculous, but overanalyzing the unrelated puzzle pieces slowly chipped away at me. It became my mission to strive for perfection, to make their tired hearts swell with pride.

I graduated with the titles of valedictorian, Homecoming Queen and Prom Queen — so I was off to a good start.

Like the seasons come and go, so too did a range of emotions I sorted out over the years. At the same time I left for college, packing my bags and bidding mom farewell, my dad also moved to Florida for a new job.

Then it happened — the string of unfortunate events.

Dad had a serious cancer scare, and mom had a stroke. I came face-to-face with the unsettling realization that my parents

were aging and wouldn’t always be around, something I had simply taken for granted all these years. The looming hand of death had never felt so close, and for the first time in my life, I contemplated what my parents meant to me. Not just who they were, what they had accomplished in life or what they could offer me. I’m talking about what they represented in my life, the magnitude of their actions as parents and how I wouldn’t be alive if not for that life-altering choice made 21 years ago.

I look at society and see a world of ungrateful youth that don’t think twice about how they got where they are today. Sure, you contributed a helping hand when asked, but until you’ve simultaneously filled the roles of mentor, disciplinarian, tutor, coach, provider and lifeguard, you haven’t a clue what it means to be a loving parent.

Divorces are messy. There’s no getting around that. But if I look back at what See Divorce / 5 »

Wednesday, April 1, 2015 | The Independent Collegian |

Divorce

from page 4

happened through the objective lens of maturity — not from my own emotional memories — I realize just how much strain was on my parents at the time. My expectations were unfair; after all, they’re only human.

When I think of raising children, one word comes to mind first: work. But I can hear my mother’s voice in my head now — “my kids are the greatest pride and joy I have in life.”

It was my mother who sat in the bathtub with me, our hands as wrinkled as prunes, teaching me to read my first book; it was my father firmly grasping my shoulder as I removed the training wheels from my bike; it

D

was my parents whose constant stream of compliments motivated me to pursue writing first as a hobby and now as a career.

I often consider the tragedy of divorce and how it plagues so many undeserving families every day. But when I reminisce on my own family’s struggle, I don’t dwell on the ugly memories. Instead, I think of who I’d be today if the divorce had never happened — and I don’t like who I see.

Instead of being my former people-pleasing self, I’ve learned how to — heaven forbid — say “no.” If not for the hours I spent alone in my room wondering why God allows bad things to happen, I wouldn’t have learned how to recognize often-overlooked blessings in disguise.

“If one thing is true of my life, it’s this — arrows can only be launched forward by first being pulled backward. Every agonizing circumstance I thought was dragging me down was, in hindsight, essential for my forward launch into a more meaningful life.”

If one thing is true of my life, it’s this — arrows can only be launched forward by first being pulled backward. Every agonizing circumstance I thought was dragging me down was, in hindsight, essential for my forward launch into a more meaningful life.

C.S. Lewis once said, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” Though I don’t disagree, I’d like to make a small addition.

Parents often prepare their children for extraordinary destinies.

And though mine are far from perfect, I strive to someday be half the parents mine were to me.

Samantha Rhodes is a third-year communication major and the Managing Editor for The Independent Collegian.

Tips for handling divorce

ivorce is a complicated word that comes with a heavy load of baggage and oftentimes mixed feelings.

Trust me — I know from personal experience how emotional of a roller coaster it can be dealing with both your own feelings and those of your parents.

For some, it’s a relief to hear that your parents are divorcing and will finally be rid of each other; but for others, it’s a heart-breaking and unexpected experience that devastates your family and forces you to help pick up the broken pieces of the marriage. When a divorce is finalized, a lot changes legally — and within the internal walls of your everyday family life.

Regardless of why or how a divorce happens, here are tips to remember that can help ease you through the coping process and give you more peace of mind in the midst of a seemingly unstable time.

Remember that it’s not your fault All the signs may point back to you and you may feel like you somehow didn’t measure up or were inadequate. But don’t let those lies tear you down and separate you from reality — your parents are the ones who didn’t make it work; you had nothing to do with their marriage. In fact, chances are that you weren’t even alive when they decided to get married.

Trying to figure out why they stopped loving each other and vacillating between whether or not they could have worked harder saved their marriage is something reserved specifically for them and you shouldn’t waste your time agonizing over it.

It takes two to get married and two to sign divorce papers. The roots of their problems are most likely deeper than you realize and go back years or even decades into the past.

Try to focus on the positives Although a lot of traditions and rituals will change in your family, not everything has to become bitter and unpleasant. Try to look for the silver lining in every scenario rather than comparing it to the past.

Did your parents bicker a lot when they were married? Well, now your household won’t be consumed by arguments or saturated with tension anymore. Was one parent lonely or unfulfilled in their marriage?

Now they’ll have the chance to restart their love life.

Despite your anger over their broken marriage vows, try to put yourself in your parents’ shoes — they deserve the chance to be emotionally content and in love just as much as you do.

Remember that if your parents wanted a divorce, they will most likely be happier in the long-run, even if they don’t seem like it yet. Fear not — with time, their sadness will lift and they will once again resume at least semi-normal lifestyles, moving on and finding ways to fill their lost time.

Keep in mind that two of everything isn’t so bad once you get used to it. Think about it — two family Christmases, two birthday parties and two sets of holidays equate to double the quality time you’ll be able to spend with those you love.

Don’t let them put you in the middle Oftentimes when a divorce is heated and both parents are bitter, they try to win over their children and get them to take their own side by engaging in namecalling and nasty story-telling. Sometimes they even start rumors. Don’t fall victim to those low blows or believe everything either of them say. Remember, both of their stories will be biased and dramatized due to the emotional pain they feel; both sides must be taken with a grain of salt.

Don’t feel like you have to choose one parent over the other or agree with anything they say. Have the courage

5

to speak up, tell your parents that you love them both and that you don’t appreciate hearing them bad mouth each other. Be sure they know you don’t want to hear it anymore and will not tolerate being forced to choose sides. If necessary, leave the room if they continue the offensive behavior. Though it may hurt their feelings initially, they will come to understand and respect your thoughts as their own bitterness subsides and their rational thinking replaces their defensiveness.

Dissect their marriage to learn your own lessons This may sound contradictory, but you can learn from your parents’ mistakes. Examine their marriage and everything you remember about it. What did they do right? What did they do wrong? What could they have done better? What were their crucial relationship flaws? How long did they date before they tied the knot?

By studying your parents’ former relationship and the things they got right, you can learn from them without having to make your own life-changing mistakes. This goes for all marriages, regardless of whether or not the parents are divorced. Take notes of how you want to be different from your parents and remind yourself of the examples they set that you would like to carry on in your own family someday.

As the saying goes, the older we get, the more we become like our parents. Therefore, if you don’t like the image of who your parents are, there’s no better time than now to start recognizing the traits you share and working on changing your habits to leave those unwanted ones behind.

By Samantha Rhodes

6 | The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015

The art of Attraction: HUMAN COMPATIBILTY

What makes two people compatible?

By Samantha Rhodes Managing Editor

Nearly everyone has, at some point in their lives, made a “wish list” for their ideal partner.

Our checklists can be incredibly long, specific or obsessively detailed. But when we come face-to-face with potential lovers, somehow our logic often dissipates.

The science behind romantic attraction and compatibility still puzzles scientists. To understand why we pick certain partners over others, they’ve conducted a bamboozling number of studies ranging from examining facial symmetry to subconscious reactions after smelling sweaty T-shirts.

Even pupil dilation can be an indicator of sexual orientation and arousal, according to researcher Ritch Savin-Williams, a developmental psy-

chologist at Cornell University.

“There’s a lot of evidence to suggest that romantic compatibility is complex and variable,” said Assistant Professor of Public Health Kimberly McBride, who also has a Ph.D. in health behavior.

“There is no magic formula because humans are immensely complicated and shaped…by factors that interact in ways that we do not completely understand.”

bodies’ naturally-occurring scents serve as attractiveness ratings.

“One study had heterosexual men smell T-shirts worn by women and examined the impact on subjects’ levels of testosterone,” McBride said. “What the researchers found was that men’s testosterone levels increased when they smelled the shirt of a woman near ovulation. Another study looked at human body odor and found that heterosexual men were least attracted to the body odor of men who were gay.”

It’s in your genes If studies about pheromones are corSneak a peak at some“There is no magic rect, McBride beone who makes your lieves that by using formula because hu- perfumes, colognes heart flutter — that guy with the chiseled jawline mans are immensely and hygiene prodand washboard abs or ucts, we may actually complicated and the slender gal whose be destroyclothes seem to hug eving our bodshaped…by factors ery curve just right. natural that interact in ways ies’ Millions of neuroscent-based chemicals and horthat we do not comattraction mones just exploded methods. pletely understand.” in your brain.

But don’t Oxytocin, noradrenastart skipping KIMBERLY MCBRIDE lin, dopamine and melshowers to Assistant Professor of Public Health anocortin just roused find a date your attention to sexual just yet. Acstimuli. Give up trying cording to to be rational — you’ve Walsh, neurochemistry also plays surrendered the reins to biology. a defining role in two people’s Relationship expert Wendy Walsh, alability to tolerate one another. so a professor of psychology at CaliforWalsh divides people into two nia State University, appears regularly categories: those with “very on The Today Show, Good Morning wide mood swings” or drama America and Inside Edition. queens, and those who are Walsh breaks down biological “wide and narrow” or more racompatibility into two components: tionally driven and practical. sexual compatibility and neurochem“What research has shown is istry. Contrary to what it sounds like, that the most compatible couples Walsh said sexual compatibility is de- are those where at least one of the termined by disparate immune syspair has a relatively narrow range tems and pheromones. of mood swings,” Walsh said. “If “Immune systems actually comyou get two people who both bine and become stronger, so for have a wide range of mood survival of the fittest, you want to swings, they’re almost guaranteed mate with somebody who has more to have a ticket to divorce court immunities to different bugs than in a few years.” you do — a different immune system,” Walsh said. “And the way that Socialization under way Mother Nature signals these different immune systems are through With a single, steamy glance, the body odors — pheromones.” two of you know how to light a In fact, several studies conclude our

fire. But as time passes, your relationship will wither if you have nothing in common.

Similarities in age, education, income level and religion are social factors that generally improve compatibility. But when rating what’s most important in a potential partner, McBride said cross-cultural research has found that kindness, understanding and intelligence top the list.

According to Patricia Case, sociology and anthropology department chair of the University of Toledo, intellectual stimulation is a form of attraction that might lead you to prefer one person’s company over others.’

Consequently, according to McBride, we can find someone emotionally attractive without also being physically attracted to them, and vice versa.

See Attraction / 9 »

Wednesday, April 1, 2015 | The Independent Collegian |

7

UNFAITHFUL RELATIONSHIPS

INFIDELITY How and why we cheat on love

By Ashley Diel Staff Reporter

decided then and there she would take time off from the world of romance to spare her heart the pain of another breach of trust.

Flash-forward two years — even today, Clever is still torn up and teary-eyed over her ex-fiancé’s infidelity.

“I loved him and I thought he felt the same way for me,” she said. “It’s just so strange to think that after all that time together, he felt like he needed to go and do something like that. I really wish I could understand that.”

It started as a normal Tuesday morning for Stacy Clever. Before getting out of bed, she took a few moments to appreciate the slowly-rising sun in the autumn sky.

After eating her typical breakfast of fruit and a bagel with orange juice, she got ready for morning classes. Her fiancé, tall and muscular with dark hair and eyes, had already left a few minutes earlier, telling her he would be out late because of work.

They had been high school sweethearts.

Now, both juniors at the University of Tole- The cheating epidemic do, they had managed to stick together through thick and thin and were four Unfortunately, Clever’s story isn’t that months-engaged. uncommon. Nearly 33 percent of men and Just as Clever was grabbing her back19 percent of women admit to having been pack, she noticed her fiancé had left his unfaithful in a relationship, according to a laptop open. When she approached it, 2011 survey conducted jointly by the Norshe saw his Facebook account was up mal Bar and the Huffington Post. and a private message was open and However, the real numblinking. ber of unfaithful partners It was to a mysterious is hard to measure. After “I loved him and I girl Clever had never all, who wants to admit met, and her heart thought he felt the they’ve cheated? plunged through her same way for me,” According to a 2014 stomach when she saw study by ABC news, she said. “It’s just her fiancé’s lie glaring more than 50 percent of back at her from the so strange to think married women cheat at screen — he wasn’t going that after all that some point on their to work that night; he spouse, as do a whopwas going to this woman’s time together, he ping 70 percent of marhouse. felt like he needed ried men.

After numbly mudto go and do someThe numbers don’t lie. dling through the series But why do men seem to of correspondence, thing like that. I cheat more often than Clever couldn’t deny it. really wish I could women? Mark Triff, a Her fiancé was cheating understand that.” fourth-year business maon her. jor, thinks it comes down And that day wasn’t to biology and impulsive the only day. The flirty STACY CLEVER decisions. messages dated back for UT student months. Even before “I think that it’s safe to their engagement, he say that for the most part, had been seeing another woman behind men have stronger sexual impulses,” Triff her back and was making frequent said. “Those impulses make them act out in nighttime visits to her house. those ways more often. They don’t utilize Emotionally-shattered and utterly dev- their self-control and they act on impulse instead. That isn’t to say that women don’t astated, Clever immediately called her cheat because they definitely do, but in my fiancé and told him it was over. She

opinion, they don’t do it as much since for the most part they don’t have as high of a sex drive.”

Triff said though he understands why guys get such a bad reputation he thinks they are sometimes unjustly accused.

“Girls a lot of times take what guys do out of context,” he said. “If a guy so much as glances at a girl, they think it’s cheating, which it isn’t.”

That raises another question: how can you tell if your partner is cheating?

According to Triff, it’s easier to tell if a man is cheating because he’ll be “more open about it” and not as good at concealing it from his partner. On the other hand, he thinks women are “smarter at hiding it.”

Rather than focusing on statistics and facts, Clever believes the emphasis should be on those whose lives are devastated by an unfaithful partner.

“What matte rs is that people need to realize that cheating hurts and it will hurt people that you care about,” she said.

Blurred lines on social media For Clever, infidelity came dressed as an undeniable affair. But in a social media-obsessed society of typing, texting, tweeting and online messaging, the lines are sometimes blurred.

“I think that it can be hard to know when something is cheating or not on social media,” said Alfred Brown, a secondyear pharmacy major. “Something as simple as liking someone’s picture can be them checking that person out or it could mean that they just like the picture.”

With the sky-rocketing popularity of social media websites, it’s no surprise these people have been caught red-handed in the growing number of online cheating incidences.

More than 20 percent of divorces cite Facebook and 80 percent of divorce lawyers have reported an increase in the number of cases that use messages from social media as evidence, according to a 2010 survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. The New York Daily News also reports that about 80 percent of all divorce cases use some kind of social media to communicate with lovers.

Brown said trying to discern flirting from innocent interactions on social media can be frustrating for men.

“I think that it is really annoying when girls talk to guys a lot on social media,” Brown said. “I mean, it’s fine for them to have guy friends, but I think that, at least in a guy’s perspective, it starts to look like they are cheating.”

The same also applies to women.

“I’ve talked to girls who have told me about how they hate it when their boyfriends talk a lot to girls online or check out their pictures a lot,” Brown said.

Patch it up or throw it away?

Your partner has messed up — but we all make mistakes…right? What justifies blatantly ending a relationship versus trying to make it work?

For some, a single act of disrespect is enough to call it quits.

“As soon as I feel disrespected, whether See Cheating / 9 »

8 | The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015 COMMENTARY

Sisters by chance, friends by choice How family hardships brought my sisters and me together

PHOTOS COURTESY OF MORGAN RINCKEY

Left to right: Morgan (left and center), Mallory (middle and right) and Monica (right and left). From 1995 to 2015, the Rinckey sisters have grown from their childhood days of fighting into now being more understanding sisters. After recent hardships tested their family, they came together and learned how to cherish one another.

MORGAN RINCKEY OPINION EDITOR

When I was a kid, my best friends were my sisters — but I wasn’t my sisters’ best friend. They bonded for two years before I was born, quickly becoming the best of friends and purposely not giving me an invitation to the club.

But it wasn’t for lack of trying.

I tried every trick in the book to befriend them. Always donating my time and services, I was determined to be a helpful little sister and was fueled by the desire for their acceptance.

My 10-year-old sister Monica needed help moving cinder blocks so she could build a sturdy foundation for her fort in the backyard.

At only 10, she lacked the muscle to do the job alone and recruited me — a 6-year-old — to help carry the blocks.

Try as I might, that concrete block slipped out of my hands and straight onto her foot. I looked at her and ran, because I knew if she caught me, I would be dead before I turned 7. Now one of her toenails still doesn’t grow. But in my defense, if a 10-year-old can’t lift a cinder

block, then adding a six-year-old to the equation probably doesn’t increase the odds by much.

I liked hanging out with them, but they didn’t seem to enjoy my company one bit. I was in a pickle: how do you connect with your sisters if they won’t talk to you?

So naturally, I would snoop around Mallory’s room to read her diary and learn about her mysterious life. Her diary, which she never kept up-to-date, clued me in on what she was up to. My mission overrode my guilt; if the diary was supposed to be private, why was it poorly hidden in one of her drawers?

Years have since then passed as they typically do. They moved out of the house, and I commute to college from home, each of us set on pursuing our own separate destinies. However, what we didn’t anticipate were the instances of turmoil that would soon test our family’s strength.

In the past year, there has been a string of explosions set off one by one.

My brother labeled himself a prankster after he graphically vandalized a football field late one summer night, ruining his name and future when his name was released to the media. Shortly after that, my sister discovered her husband had been cheating on her.

And it got worse. Doctors spotted something strange in my dad’s lung that looked potentially like cancer. Our entire family spent a few weeks nervously pacing and mentally preparing for the worst. Luckily the results showed it wasn’t cancer, and he had it biopsied over spring break.

“I liked hanging out with them, but they didn’t seem to enjoy my company one bit. I was in a pickle: how do you connect with your sisters if they won’t talk to you?”

The anxiety of the future, the heartbreak and life-scare sparked a change in the relationship I had with my sisters.

Our communication has improved tenfold. During the long days and nights waiting for news about dad, we would keep each other updated by text. If my dad was in surgery or my brother’s court dates were postponed, one of us would fill in

the others immediately.

During the rare moments we all spend time together instead of fighting, arguing or bickering, we actually talk now. Instead of spitting snippy comments of aggression, we understand the value of peace. After all, none of us know when the last time we might see each other could be.

With age comes wisdom; but learning what’s truly important in life isn’t always a gentle process. For my sisters and me, the frailty of life was made apparent in such a way that there’s no returning to the former days before our eyes were opened. The value of family is immeasurable.

Now that I’m in college, my sisters treat me like a friend and confidant — a nice change up from feeling like the odd child out. I’m proud to say we’re long past the days when my sister hit me over the head with a hardcover Harry Potter novel. Instead of looking at me as the little sister who couldn’t keep up because her dress kept getting stuck in her tricycle tires, they see me as an equal.

My best friends are my sisters, and I hope I’m my sisters’ best friend too.

Morgan Rinckey is a second-year double-majoring in English and Communication and is the Opinion Editor for The Independent Collegian.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015 | The Independent Collegian |

Attraction

from page 6

“In some of my own research on women’s sexual arousal, we found that some women said they were most sexually-aroused by their partner when that person was engaged in a task where they displayed a talent, like playing the piano, while other women said that they were most turned on by a partner that was able to stimulate them physically,” McBride says.

Peas in a pod or opposites take all?

According to McBride, a large body of evidence suggests we’re attracted to those similar to ourselves. But like the lure of a revving engine, we’re also drawn to the thrill — making partners starkly different from us quite appealing.

“What science has found is that the idea may be true in the short-term because some people are drawn to novelty,” McBride said.

“But over time, these relationships don’t tend to last unless there are some basic points of similarity and partner differences have to compliment one another.”

The alignment of attitudes and values, according to McBride, is crucial for a healthy relationship.

“Things like personality can be more variable or activities — like if you like a certain activity and your partner doesn’t — that

Cheating from page 7

it’s text messages or physical activities, I would consider terminating the relationship,” said Selina Hairston, a firstyear art history major. “I believe that when you really want to be with someone, you won’t do things to jeopardize the relationship.”

Yet for others, like first-year theater major Cheyenne Culbertson, there’s some wiggle room. Culbertson said she could tolerate some mistakes and misunderstandings, but sexual interaction of any kind with someone other than your partner is the one line nobody should cross.

“Once it becomes sex, we’re done,” Culbertson said. “No ‘I’m sorry,’ no making up.

You’re out of my life for good, and I won’t want to see you ever again.”

Brown said he thinks everyone makes mistakes, but your partner’s integrity as a whole should be considered if they break your trust.

“I think that it can be hard to give a second chance after you have been hurt,”

kind of thing doesn’t matter as long as you’re on the same page about how you approach the world,” McBride said.

Digging into the past According to Walsh, all humans develop a predisposition for a certain romantic attachment style within their first three years of life.

This “blueprint for love” is molded by your childhood environment — whether pleasant, disturbing, nurturing or abusive — and will be part of your lifelong psychology.

“If soul mates really existed, our divorce rate wouldn’t be as high as it is and people wouldn’t fall in and out of love so frequently.”

PATRICIA CASE Sociology and anthropology chair

“That blueprint then becomes their roadmap for love and they go out into the adult world and start to become attracted to people who trigger those same phenomenon in their brain that reminds them of what happened in their early life,” Walsh said.

If you find yourself in a rut falling for the same type of person over and over again, examine your blueprint.

he said. “However, if you feel like they are truly sorry and can tell that they will not do it again, then they do deserve a second chance.”

Answering the hard questions Discovering your partner is cheating can be devastating, but coping with the consequences of the situation can be even harder.

Though Clever said she’s moved on, she admits that she still struggles at times with dating.

“Sometimes I feel myself back away from guys because I feel like I might get hurt again,” she said. “I know that isn’t fair to them since they haven’t done anything to me, but at the same time I can’t help it.”

According to Clever, the hardest part of coming to terms with what happened is trying to figure out what drove her ex to seek out another woman.

“I don’t know, but to me, I could never see myself doing something like that,” Clever said.

Statistically speaking, Clever’s ex is more

“That’s why girls who are victims of trauma in early life — sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse — tend to love those bad boys, the ones that can’t love them back because this time they’re going to make daddy love them, right?” Walsh said.

Finding the one(s) It’s a hot debate — do we each have a divinely ordained soul mate or is happily ever after open to anyone?

The experts are going with the latter.

“I don’t believe in soul mates. I think it’s a nice idea, but I don’t believe it,” Case said.

“If soul mates really existed, our divorce rate wouldn’t be as high as it is and people wouldn’t fall in and out of love so frequently. My personal opinion is that we’re compatible with a whole bunch of different people and we can make a relationship with any of the people that we’re compatible with work.”

If you want to narrow the field and find compatible relationship partners quickly, Case said “you need to not hook up.”

Avoid an “undefined sex and text relationship,” as Walsh frankly puts it. Instead, you should be “asking questions about values and family long before you’re having sex.”

“Don’t be afraid to get to the real issues on the first date,” Walsh said. “Ask about family of origin, what kind of relationship did you have with your mother, how close are you to your family?”

likely to cheat again. According to a 2014 study conducted by Denver University, people who have cheated on their partner in a past relationship are three and a half times more likely to be unfaithful in a future relationship.

“I think that it can be hard to give a second chance after you have been hurt.

However, if you feel like they are truly sorry and can tell that they will not do it again, then they do deserve a second chance.”

ALFRED BROWN Second-year pharmacy major

If cheating causes so much heartache, then why do we repeatedly do it? Even the experts have difficulty agreeing.

Kevin Anderson, a Toledo psychologist and marriage counselor of over 10 years,

9

Because of the “mere-exposure effect,” McBride explains that we’re often attracted to people we encounter more frequently, which is why people fall in love with someone they grew up with.

She advises people to step away from computers and cell phones to “get out and do things that allow you to meet people who might be like you.”

Sex might just tip the scale in your favor — that is, if you wait.

According to Walsh’s book, “The 30-Day Love Detox,” having sex within 30 days of meeting someone equates to a 90 percent chance of breaking up in one year. However, if you wait 31 to 90 days, there’s a one in four chance you’ll be together one year later. And your chances only get better the longer you hold off.

Once sex starts, Walsh warns that you lose your ability to fairly assess your partner, comparing it to “taking a drug.”

“No matter what they say or do, you think they’re perfect,” she said.

Rather than actively seeking out relationships, Case encourages people to build a life that makes them happy.

“I think the best relationships honestly grow out of friendships and the best friendships grow out of the relationships that you build while you’re building a life you’re content with,” Case said. “If you’re out there looking for a relationship, that’s your way of saying there’s something about my life that I’m not happy with, and you need to build a life you’re happy with. Then you’re not looking for somebody to fix it.”

said he feels young people often cheat because they are not genuinely committed to their relationships.

“They’re in a relationship, but they’re keeping their eyes open for whoever comes along,” Anderson said. “They think it’s nothing serious.”

However, according to Bill Roman, a Toledo counselor specializing in relationships, a lack of loyalty stems from an insufficient attachment to early childhood figures like parents. This lack of attention can negatively affect self-confidence.

“I think a lot of insecurity in relationships can be traced back to some not-sogood relationships in one’s family,” Roman said.

For Clever, the reason why her ex cheated will always be a mystery — but she won’t let it stop her from finding love.

“Yeah, it is hard to get over, but I’m just going to keep trying until I get there,” Clever said. “It is going to take a little more time for me, but I know that in the end I will find someone who is perfect for me and then what he did won’t even matter anymore.”

10 | The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015

His life, her story, one love LGBTQA COMMUNITY

Four students talk about their sexual identity and how it has shaped their lives

JACK ALFERIO

By Colleen Anderson Co-News Editor

From picking out a nickname to deciding the right time to say “I love you,” every relationship has its own unique set of circumstances and difficulties that must be overcome.

However, having a different sexuality or gender identity can sometimes complicate those challenges in ways you might not consider.

To help shed light on some of these issues, we’ve spoken to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals from the University of Toledo community to find out how their sexuality and identity has shaped both their relationships and their lives.

JACK Identifies as transgender Jack Alferio is a transgender man in his first-year at UT majoring in social work.

Though Alferio was designated female at birth, he now identifies as male and is determined to be an example to others. His shinning passion for activism is obvious to anyone who meets him, as he’s involved in groups like Trans Ohio and Equality Toledo.

However, he’s far from self-absorbed.

When asked about himself, he immediately re-directed the question to focus on how he enjoys working with others instead.

“Helping other people really helps myself and makes me feel good about myself, so when I’m able to help other people learn about themselves or learn about a community they don’t know much about, it does

LAVELLE RIDLEY help me in return,” Alferio said.

The more difficult question for Alferio is his sexuality — right now, he’s questioning.

Though he’s been identifying as bisexual since the age of 13, he said he’s now starting to lean toward preferring men.

Though he didn’t hesitate when asked about his preferred gender pronouns, Alferio did admit that being able to refer to himself as a man wasn’t easy in the beginning and took a lot of courage.

“I couldn’t say the words ‘I’m a boy’ for the longest time, because it just didn’t feel right,” he said. “But I started talking about it more and then I started binding my chest, and then I was like, ‘Yeah, I’m going to transition.”

During that same time he still identified as a female, Alferio had been in a relationship with a woman. His girlfriend had been under the impression she was in a typical lesbian relationship — that is, before he told her the news.

To his delight, even afterward, she still supported him unconditionally.

“She was just with me every step of the way,” Alferio said. “She was really supportive, she always used my pronouns and she always used my name. There was really no hesitation to support me. It was pretty excellent actually.”

However, Alferio said he felt the way in which others looked at his relationship began to change after he transitioned. He said the everyday observer started to consider his relationship with his girlfriend a heterosexual one, something he described as a doubleedged sword.

SARAH VOGEL “Outsiders suddenly saw us just as a heterosexual couple, which was kind of sad because I don’t like losing my queer identity,” he said. “But like, at the same time I was being seen for who I was for the first time in my life, so that was nice.”

He and his girlfriend stayed together for three years, both during and after his transition.

When they did eventually break up, it was on good terms. Without bitterness in his voice, he said the two of them are still good friends and that he’s happy to still have her in his life.

While Alferio said he’s never run into anyone who was confrontational about his gender identity or relationships, he has received his fair share of curious questions, including some invasive ones. In fact, he recalled being asked one just a couple days prior at work.

“Someone asked me how I have sex, and I was like ‘All right,’” he said. “It was very inappropriate, and I was like, ‘I’m not going to answer that.’”

Regardless of the rude behavior he experiences at times from others, his personality and demeanor is still casual and relaxed. Dealing with questions like this is simply a part of his life, and he believes he’s come to an understanding of where the questions stem from.

“Just the unknown, I think. They’re like, ‘This is different from me, and I need to know everything about what’s different than me,’” he said.

When asked for advice to give to others who may be struggling with their gender identity or sexuality while in a relationship, Alferio took a moment to consider his response. Instead of

STEPHANIE CLENDENEN sounding like a clinical poster or Internet ad, he took on the role of a supportive friend and mentor, showing earnest concern for his community members.

“Be safe, first,” he said. “If you don’t feel safe coming out, if you don’t feel safe in your relationship because your person, your significant other, wants you to come out, I would definitely just be open and talk about that, but your safety is number one.”

LAVELLE Identifies as gay Lavelle Ridley is a third-year double-majoring in English literature and Africana studies, and is currently working towards graduate school. Ridley identifies as gay, and is the former president of Spectrum, a position that keeps him active and socially involved. Ridley said as president, he tries his best to watch over Spectrum members, a task he finds stressful but fun and rewarding.

While Ridley is comfortable in his sexuality, romantic relationships are one avenue that he’s never explored. He explained that part of his decision revolves around a conscious focus on his schoolwork rather than dating since he has high standards and definite goals for himself.

“My early years of college, it started off as I really couldn’t find anyone that I thought was worthy, or you know, someone that I could really see myself with,” he said. “These later years it’s been more of a choice, because I’m focusing See LGBTQA / 11 »

Wednesday, April 1, 2015 | The Independent Collegian |

LGBTQA from page 10

more on school and things of that nature.”

However, school isn’t the only thing stopping him from going out and finding a boyfriend. Ridley is unapologetically particular about the type of guy he’s willing to date.

“A lot of my friends tell me I’m very picky and that I’m very stuck up,” he said. “Like you have to have so many credentials, like you have to have the most perfect resume to date me — which is not true,” he said, playfully pretending to be outraged before he considered it a moment.

“Well, it’s kind of true. It’s not really true, but it kind of is,” he said with a laugh.

When asked what some of the qualities are that he’d like to see on a hypothetical dating resume, he jokingly suggested the president of the United States before jumping into a slightly more realistic list.

Right off the bat, Ridley said aesthetic appeal is a must. He knows different things are beautiful to different people and wants someone that is aesthetically appealing to him. He won’t date someone too far off from his own age, and it wouldn’t hurt his chances to be a good cook, either. Even more important is the person’s direction in life.

“I couldn’t have someone that’s just sitting at home, like ‘okay, I’ll be here when you get back,’” he said, giving his best imitation of a typical couch potato. “I get back and they’re still right there in the same spot. I can’t have that; I can’t do it.”

Most importantly, Ridley said he wants a relationship that will last for a long time.

“I wouldn’t date someone knowing that I won’t stay with them for a good amount of time,” he said. “I want to date someone that I already know.”

While he doesn’t feel any particular hurry to find his dream guy right now, he said he still goes through occasional periods of wanting a relationship.

“I’ll go to the clubs and the bars, and I’ll see a bunch of couples that are kissing and making out and all that, which I think is really beautiful,” he said. “You do whatever, express your love. But I look at that and I’m just like, I want to be in a relationship too.”

When the right time comes along, he’s sure he’ll know exactly what he’s looking for.

But for now, he said being surrounded by his friends is more than enough.

SARAH Identifies as lesbian Sarah Vogel is a third-year music education major who identifies as a lesbian. Her love for music extends far beyond classes, too. Vogel is the parliamentarian and membership committee chair of the national honor band fraternity Kappa Kappa Psi and president of the Ohio Collegiate Education Music Association at UT.

While music and the desire to teach have been important parts of her life for a long time, Vogel’s realization of her sexuality is a more recent development. Growing up, Vogel always considered herself straight and was even in a four-year long relationship with a boy when she met her current girlfriend.

“I wouldn’t date someone knowing that I won’t stay with them for a good amount of time. I want to date someone that I already know.”

LAVELLE RIDLEY A junior double-majoring in English literature and Africana studies

Realizing her feelings were changing was tough to accept, and she struggled with it for some time before finally realizing who she was falling for. Instead of another boy, Vogel began noticing a girl named Cole, who is now her girlfriend of two years. Originally, she heard about Cole from other people who looked up to or admired her, and decided she wanted to find out more for herself.

“Everybody thought that Cole was the coolest person,” she said. “I wanted to hang out with her and I did, and I got what everybody was saying.”

Even now, the memory brings a smile to her face. When asked if she plans to be with her girlfriend long-term, she blushed, her voice dropping almost shyly.

“Yeah, I do,” she said, smiling.

Unfortunately, the biggest hurdle to face was not just her own self-acceptance of her sexuality. Coming out to her parents was something Vogel said she will never forget.

“The next day, they came up here in my dorm and were screaming at me and telling me how it was a terrible decision, blah blah blah,” she said. “It’s kind of hard, looking back now to pick out specific things.”

Overcoming her brother’s initial reaction provided yet another challenge for her. Vogel said she and her brother had always been close, but that his attitude toward people with other sexualities was less than accepting. Even now, Vogel said she feels guilty for the position she put him in.

“Because he’s more connected to me on social media than my parents are, he kind of knew that I was lying for so long and that made it really hard on him,” she said. “I still feel bad even though everything’s fine now that he worked so hard to keep that trust with me even though he was not okay with anything.”

Though her relationship with her parents is better now, she said it was an uphill battle to get there. For a while, she avoided mentioning her relationship to her parents in order to avoid conflict, but eventually she decided she

couldn’t take it any longer.

“It was just eating me up and affecting me in many ways because I’ve always been very close with my parents and my siblings and stuff,” she said.

However, her parents eventually allowed Vogel to bring her girlfriend around and have even made attempts to get to know her.

When asked if there was anything she thinks would have helped her during that difficult time, she struggled to search for an answer.

“I think if I had more allies at home during that summer of being secretive, it would have helped me not necessarily with my relationship, but with myself,” she said, voice trembling and eyes filling with tears. “Because I felt like my parents were treating me very differently, especially my mom.”

After seeking help from the UT Counseling Center, she said it’s allowed her to move past some of the things she used to struggle with.

“It’s a great resource that we have here,” she said. “You might think that one thing’s wrong within how you’re feeling, and they may help you see that it’s something else, and show you how to confront it.”

Though she also worked to reconcile her faith with her sexuality for a long time, she said she no longer feels conflicted about the two.

“Love is love, and there’ll be forgiveness whether it’s right or wrong,” she said. “I think that’s super important, and I think that’s what makes me feel like even if I’m not being a proper Catholic, it’s going to be okay.”

STEPHANIE Identifies as bisexual Stephanie Clendenen is a public health graduate student at UT who identifies as bisexual. On top of holding down a job, Clendenen participates in organizations where she does everything from studying the algal bloom problem that plagued Toledo over the summer to serving as a committee member of the Green Fund at UT. Clendenen describes herself as the type of person who used to ‘window shop’ for her next relationship while the one she was in was beginning to wind down.

“Towards the end of my relationship with the previous boyfriend, I would look for other people and flirt around,” she said. “I would break up with one, maybe wait a week and then start going out with the other guy.”

A devastating breakup with her previous boyfriend took her by surprise, sending her into a deep depression. Clendenen said the experience completely changed her views on relationships and how she looked for partners.

“I did nothing wrong, but he never gave me a reason why he broke up with me and that hurt me a lot because I was blindsided by it,” she said.

“I went through a massive depression and wouldn’t eat for a month, didn’t sleep.”

The process of finding her current boyfriend was completely different from her previous ways. Instead of actively looking

11

for a relationship, she said the two met more naturally. Before being her boyfriend, he had been one of the friends who comforted her in the months after her breakup, which led to the two of them spending more time together. In fact, they even attended a Pride festival together.

“He was actually going to be my wingman,” she said, her voice full of amusement as she reflected on the irony of it. “He and I were looking for a girl for me to bring home that night, and he was a good sport about it.”

While Clendenen is currently dating a man, not all of her relationships have been with members of the opposite gender. In high school, Clendenen said she grew up suppressing any feelings for the opposite gender because she didn’t have a name for them or an understanding of what they might mean.

The first time she dated another girl, it was before she had come out to her family and friends. While the two were dating, Clendenen hid the relationship from most other people in her life, including her best friend: her mother.

The guilt and stress that resulted strained her relationship with her girlfriend, eventually resulting in their break up.

“I just felt guilty about dragging [her] through all of this when I was trying to hide it from everyone else,” she said.

“She wasn’t hidden. She was out, and so I just felt guilty … and I didn’t want to hurt her further.”

“It was just eating me up and affecting me in many ways because I’ve always been very close to my parents and my siblings and stuff.”

SARAH VOGEL A third-year majoring in music education

It was only in the last year that Clendenen came out openly as bisexual, finally deciding to declare her sexuality to those around her.

To Clendenen’s surprise, her mother revealed she had suspected her sexuality for a long time, and the news came as no surprise.

“I told my mom, and she’s like, ‘I knew that.’ And I was like, ‘I didn’t even know that,’” she said, laughing and shaking her head incredulously.

Now, whether she’s going to Pride festivals or checking out girls with her boyfriend, Clendenen is not afraid to make her sexuality known and treats it with the same open, unapologetic acceptance as she treats any other aspect of her personality.

“I don’t care who knows,” she said. “I’m one of those people that if you ask me a question, you better be prepared because I’m not going to hold back.”

12 | The Independent Collegian | Wednesday, April 1, 2015 COMMENTARY

Miles apart but never at heart ALEXANDRIA SABA COMMUNITY EDITOR

We hugged one last time and when I got in the car, he shut my door for me.

As I buckled myself in for the long drive home, I watched as the boy I spent so many days and nights with walked away from me and into the door of his new home.

This was one of the hardest moments of my life to just sit back and watch, knowing that I couldn’t change it. This was how our lives were going to be for the next couple of years.

Long-distance relationships are something college students hear about all the time, but don’t actually consider putting themselves through. I know I didn’t think I was going to find a boyfriend in high school that I would want to spend the rest of my life with — that’s what college is for, right? But I met my boyfriend, Paul, my junior year of high school and we’ve been together ever since.

I decided to go to The University of Toledo and a year later, he decided to go to Miami University of Ohio, and so began our long-distance relationship.

I never doubted that we could make it through the distance. I knew it was going to be hard, but I supported his decision to go away to college. I wanted what he felt was best for him, even if that meant we would be apart for a long time.

However, my friends thought differently.

My friends would come up to me and ask if Paul and I had broken up yet, to which of course I would answer that we weren’t going to break up. Why would we?

I never understood why it was even an option. It wasn’t like we didn’t have technology or cars; it wasn’t the Middle Ages. I knew we would still be able to talk and see each other, but that it would just be less than what we get to do now.

I didn’t understand why my friends were so adamant about us breaking up.

When I discussed it with one of my closest friends, she would tell me all the bad things she thought could happen. Though she said she supported

my decision to stay with him, I knew it was only a front and that she didn’t believe we would actually make it through college. Frustrated, I didn’t understand why they didn’t see things how I saw them and why they didn’t want me to be happy.

But that was just the issue — I learned that they did care about my happiness, but they just saw it differently than I did.

They thought I would be happier with someone closer to home so I would have fewer hardships.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there are struggles in every relationship, regardless of whether it’s long-distance or not.

Another one of my friends was in the same situation as I was, but she decided to end things with her boyfriend. They too had been high school sweethearts since freshman year, but one day she just decided their relationship wasn’t worth the distance.

She told me she didn’t want to try to make it work because the distance was going to be too hard.

I was shocked. I never understood how she could just let her boyfriend slip away like that.

This bugged me more than I can put into words. My boyfriend is an important part of my life and the distance is not going to change that. People often think that relationships started in high school cannot make it through the strain of the distance of college, but I wasn’t willing to give up a great person because we were going to be a little further away from one another.

I chose to fight for the relationship we had built and for the boy that I love. This proved to be hard, though, because my friends weren’t the only ones against the idea — my mom was too.

Now, I don’t want it to sound like everyone in my life hated my boyfriend, because that’s not the case. Everyone loved him, but they hated the idea that we would have to be so far apart and have to go through more struggles.

My mom wanted me to explore my options. She wanted me to have fun in college and not be tied down to one person. It was kind of strange coming from my mother, but I understand what she meant.

Yes, he was and still is my first boyfriend. But what my mom doesn’t understand is that I’m not missing out on anything. In fact, I’m experiencing everything that I want to. I’ve learned that I want to explore the world with just one person by my side — my boyfriend.

I understand that my friends and my mom want what is best for me, but I’ve found that already. I’ve found him.

One thing that I have truly learned from this experience is that you need to have the courage to fight for what you want and what you think is right for you.

I have had to answer many questions

“I’ve learned that people are more willing to take the easy route, even if that means it isn’t the one they truly want. Me on the other hand — I don’t like the easy routes.” about my relationship with Paul and where I thought it was going. I had to tell people that he was leaving and my feelings on our situation. I had to make sure that people knew that I was willing to fight the miles and the lonely nights, just because he is the one.

I’ve learned that people are more willing to take the easy route, even if that means it isn’t the one they truly want. Me on the other hand — I don’t like the easy routes. I’m more than willing to have my relationship pushed to the extreme and make it out in one piece than to just quit before I have even started.

I get that the distance is large, scary and is

something that I cannot control; it will always be there like a weight that won’t lift off my chest. It holds me down and reminds me that no matter how many times we talk on the phone or send a text, we are still not together.

But that only fuels my fire.

The distance shows me that my relationship is worth everything. I don’t know what I would be without Paul. To be honest, I don’t know who I would be without him either. He makes me my best self, even when he’s 200 miles away.

No, we aren’t perfect but we have been able to make it this far.

Who’s to say you and your significant other can’t?

Alexandria Saba is a second-year English major and the community editor for The Independent Collegian.