She Magazine by HNE Media Magazines

August 2013

ALSO INSIDE: Enter to become Strong, Healthy and Empowered Exploring the issue of genetic testing for breast cancer Hospital gift shop brings cheer to customers and staff

Summer Ends in Style We have your head (and feet) covered

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FEATURES

August 2013

Breast Cancer Genetics Enter to be Strong Healthy and Empowered

Hospital Gift Shop Autism Support Group

32 2

26 Helping New Parents

Ballpark Weddings

She Magazine // august 2013

17 REGULARS 6 Fashion

Summer hats and shoes

10 Clothes-Minded 11

She Finds

She Says

40 Cuisine

Trends worth trying

Buy it locally

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your favorite workout?

Ice cream sandwiches

44 Business-Minded 46

View from Mars

Just a Minute

Financial planning

Family adventures

Quick recommendations

Advertise in Pink Purpose in your community. A percentage of ad sales will go to the Mammogram Assistance Fund.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. To encourage women and men to be diligent in examining themselves and encouraging loved ones to do so, The Republic, the Daily Journal (Franklin), The Tribune (Seymour) and the Brown County Democrat will publish a PINK newspaper with a special section devoted to educating their readers on this disease.

Businesses are encouraged to make Fridays in October â&#x20AC;&#x201C; PINK FRIDAYS. Go all out and send us a press release and photos, and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll let the community know about your participation.

For more information contact us at pinkpurpose@therepublic.com or call 812-379-5655.

> > SAVE THE DATE! SHE'S PAMPER PARTY IS OCT. 25 AT THE COMMONS

>> editor’s note

My daughter is due today. I hate to sound selfish, but I kind of hope that I miss this issue debuting in the newspaper because I’m busy doing something else, such as welcoming her to the world. In some regards it seems like just yesterday that I was seeing her brother face-to-face for the first time. Of course, typical of parenthood (and life in general) it’s also difficult for me to recall that time in my life when Nolan wasn’t a part of it. And by now, or soon enough, I’ll be feeling that way about this baby girl. It is a reflection on moments – or moments to be – like this that put you in awe of life, how it works and how we process it as humans. When I started this column, I thought about how I should word it and compared it to the column I wrote last year as I prepared for Nolan’s birth and my subsequent maternity leave. Penning my column in relation to deadline versus the actual print date of the magazine makes for an interesting task with each issue. However, when major life-changing events are involved, it really ups the ante. Chances are that by the time this issue reaches your hands, my little pink bundle of joy will be here. If not, soon after. I wish I could tell you what she looks like, how much she weighs, what we’ve named her. However, as I write this, I’m left dreaming of such answers myself, so you’ll have to wait until the next issue. Until then, enjoy the lineup we’ve arranged for you as summer comes to a close. As we enter the fall season, we’re happy to announce another installment of Strong, Healthy, Empowered – our annual healthy lifestyle contest. Find the details and entry information in the pages to follow. Three Columbus women have banded together to offer a support system to parents of children with autism. Meet them and find out about their quest in our story by writer Shannon Palmer. We also explore the timely, yet controversial topic of genetic testing for breast cancer. Regardless of your personal views on this issue, we hope you find writer Jenni Muncie-Sujan’s article informative. Well, I’ll let you get to it then. Happy reading!

Check out past issues of She magazine at

She Magazine // august 2013

on the cover: August 2013

ALSO INSIDE: , Enter to become Strong Healthy and Empowered Exploring the ic controversy of genet testing for breast health Hospital gift shop brings staff cheer to customers and

Summer Ends in Style We have your head (and

feet) covered

Evelyn Malcomb models a sun hat and Michael Taylor blouse from Lockett’s Ladies Shop. Photo by Andrew Laker

Spa, Beauty & Personal Care EDITOR Kelsey DeClue COPY EDITOR Katharine Smith SENIOR GRAPHIC ARTIST Amanda Waltz WRITERS Catherine Hageman Jalene Hahn Andrew Larson Shannon Palmer Jenni Muncie-Sujan photographers Carla Clark Andrew Laker Joel Philippsen Stock Images Provided by Thinkstock

SEND COMMENTS TO: Kelsey DeClue, The Republic 333 Second St., Columbus, IN 47201 Call 812-379-5691 or email kdeclue@therepublic.com ADVERTISING INFORMATION: Call Cathy Klaes at 812-379-5678 or email cklaes@therepublic.com. All copy and advertising in She are copyrighted and cannot be reproduced.

OUTFITS • JEWELRY PURSES ACCESSORIES CHECK IN TO SEE SOME OF OUR NEW FALL ARRIVALS!

643 WASHINGTON ST • 8 1 2 . 3 7 2 . 0 4 7 7 HOURS: M-F 10-6 | SAT 9-3 august 2013 // she magazine

>> fashion

And to top it all off ... By kelsey declue

photos by andrew laker

Hats. They’ve been around for centuries – serving in roles ranging from protective gear to symbols of economic status. In recent years they’ve filled a mostly fashion-based role. And let’s be honest, our male counterparts tend to put them to use much more often than we do. However, a cute hat can supplement a wardrobe and provide portable respite on sunny summer days. “Sun hats are gaining popularity,” said Lynne Hyatt, owner of Lockett’s Ladies Shop. “They’re great for gardening, a day at the beach or if you’re just spending the day outside.” This subtle resurgence of sun hats prompted downtown shop owner Jeff Baker to offer a line from Be You Fashion. The raffia sun hats are made by female arti-

She Magazine // august 2013

sans in Madagascar and offer UV protection of 50-plus. “The great thing about these is that you can scrunch them up and throw them in a beach bag, and you take them out, give them a little shake and they’re good as new. They don’t wrinkle,” said Baker, owner of Baker’s Fine Gifts. However, on a daily basis and even for formal events, Hyatt believes women generally shy away from adding a head dressing to their wardrobe. “We don’t sell a lot of hats, and it’s a shame,” she said. “I think more women should wear hats. I keep ordering them because I love them,

and I think they’re so cute.” If hats aren’t your thing, you don’t have to leave your head unfurnished. Headbands, scarves and even fascinators (those chic head adornments that British royals made so popular) are all options. Headbands are pretty straightforward. They come in a variety of fabrics and widths. Fascinators are another option for adding a little pizzazz to your noggin. Lockett’s sells a few options,

Kelsey, left, wears a Be You Fashion raffia sun hat, in pink, $62.50 from Baker’s Fine Gifts. Jenna, center, wears a Scala dorfman pacific fascinator in purple, $32 from Lockett’s Ladies Shop. Cathy wears a Scala derby style hat, $48 also from Lockett’s.

august 2013 // she magazine

>> fashion both in headband and clip style. For formal events fascinators generally provide the look of a stylish hat without the hair-smashing effect. They’re often adorned with fabric loops, feathers or bows arranged in artistic designs. A scarf is a perfect fix for bad hair days because it can be wrapped around the head, with the hair hanging or in an up-do, in many ways. The ends of the scarf can be tucked up or draped over the wearer’s shoulder for a more bohemian look.

Treska fascinator hair clip and pin, left, $14, and Designed in Barcelona vivante scarf, $25, both from Lockett’s Ladies Shop

Whether alone or with an intimate group, Pacheco Winery on Third is the perfect setting to re-energize and re-inspire.

Reservations preferred but not required 812-799-0683 • 602 Third Street • Columbus 8

She Magazine // august 2013

Covered Head to Toe:

By julie gallego

The Orange County Register (MCT)

Stylish people have known for years that there’s only one “comfort” shoe that brings its own portion of chic to an outfit — a sleek sneaker. Fashion editors and other women whose jobs require them to look chic while constantly on their feet have always gravitated toward the high-style quotient of cool trainers or the classic edge of a low-top Converse All Star. Nothing says “I have style for days but don’t need to impress you” like a sharp suit paired with a pair of cool kicks and a killer bag. The look works equally well on men. Isabel Marant’s covetable wedge sneaker kick-started the latest statement sneaker trend a few years ago and spawned a zillion knockoffs, giving high heel-loving fashionistas a way to look stylish and sporty at the same time. The trend has brought about a reboot of classic brands such as Converse with new fabrics and patterns and embellishments on its iconic Chuck Taylor All Stars and Jack

Purcells. Updated details such as bright color, studs and prints also adorn styles. In my closet, there are many versions of the sneakers, from old school Converse (black and white and plaid) to trainers in every color (I favor slim Puma and Nike styles). I keep my coolest kicks forever — I have a pair of K-Swiss leather court shoes from 15 years ago that I pull out of the closet every summer; they still gleam bright white in the sun. My current wear-everywhere sneaks are black, white and gold Nike trainers that I bought for workouts until I decided they were waaaaay too cool to waste at the gym. They’re great for the days I want a look with a little edge but need to be on my feet; they are the perfect ending to leopard-print skinny jeans and silky black button-up shirt. Fashionable athletic shoes are available in all price points and styles — from the aforementioned bright trainers to punkchic studded leather high-tops and wedges to blinged out slip-ons. Wear them now through the fall. *she

august 2013 // she magazine

>> fashion

Clothes-Minded

Enjoy those summer looks while they’re hot By Catherine Hageman

t’s still summer, but don’t tell all the clothing stores that. One of my biggest pet peeves is how early fall clothes start appearing in stores. There’s just something slightly sadistic about shopping for jeans and sweaters when it’s 90 degrees (but feels like 100). It’s like Christmas decorations that start cropping up right before Halloween. How can I be expected to consider cashmere when I can barely remember what the cold feels like? Traditionally, high-end runway shows happen a season or two ahead of time. For instance, this past spring was when all the major designers were showing their fall collections. It can be a little disconcerting to ponder fall trends before summer has even hit, but it makes sense from a manufacturing and marketing perspective. Designers have to create the clothes they just showed and then come up with a clever advertising plan so we’ll all buy those clothes come the fall. I subscribe to several clothing brand emails and received at least three promoting fall lines or letting me shop early for fall clothes, and that was just in July. I actually let myself click on one, and for a hot minute (literally, it was when it was 95 degrees last month) I let myself dream of cozy outfits and colorful scarves. Then I shook my head and closed the screen. There are still too many summer outfits to be worn to be worrying about what I’ll add to my wardrobe come October. I’m thankful we still have a few more weeks of summer, and that means a few more chances to incorporate summer trends into our outfits. Some summer trends come back every June, and some won’t be remembered past September, but having fun with the latest trends is one way to make the endless warm days go by just a little quicker. I should add that I don’t take the trends too seriously. I certainly don’t invest in a new wardrobe every season. I’d much rather spend money on a classic piece that’s going to last for years. But I like to experiment and try something new that I saw another blogger or friend wear. For the rest of summer, step outside your comfort zone and try something new. I even have a few ideas for you:

She Magazine // august 2013

Nautical Easily one of the most classic summer trends. You can take it as far as wearing a shirt with an anchor on it, or just by mixing some navy and white stripes. Extra points if you add a pop of yellow or orange; nautical just screams summer by a lake or beach. Plus, navy striped shirts are great basics for any wardrobe. Be daring and wear a pair of white pants with that top. Just skip spaghetti for lunch.

Black & White A trend that started in the spring continues into summer, and probably the fall. My mother pretty much lives in basic black, and I finally got her to wear white jeans with a fun black tunic. It turned into one of her favorite summer outfits (you’re welcome, Mom). Black and white is an easy way to try something new if you lean more toward the classics in your wardrobe. Floral, polka dots and stripes in graphic black and white not only look great, they also are functional and disguise sweat if you’re outside on a particularly hot day.

Neon Neon is another trend that has hung on since spring and is still one of my favorites. Bright, neon colors can be super flattering on many skin and body types. If a neon sweater is too much for you, try a bag or bright nail polish for that extra pop of color. I hope I’ve given you some ideas for how to have fun with your summer wardrobe while warm weather lasts. The countdown has begun for riding boots and cozy hats.

Catherine Hageman lives in Columbus with her “fur babies,” Hamlet, Horatio, Othello and Perdita. She blogs daily looks, outfit ideas and fashion advice at smalltownbigwardrobe.com and can be reached at Catherine.hageman@gmail.com.

2 shefinds Looking for a new end-of-summer outfit? This fun and flirty ensemble from Red Lips Spatique is perfect for a date night or outdoor event.

Wear it with:

1. Cemi Ceri striped maxi dress, $40.50 2. Straw fedora, $15 3. Handbag Republic turquoise clutch purse, $30 4. Influence turquoise and gold necklace, $19.50 5. Andante hoop earrings, $9 august 2013 // she magazine

Reading the future Genetic markers for breast cancer provide more choices

By jenni l. muncie-sujan

Two words are never paired without a cringe: breast and cancer. Young women, mothers, aunts and grandmothers are choosing whether they want to test now for a cancer they could possibly avoid in the future.

She Magazine // august 2013

ith recent media attention around public figures such as actress Angelina Jolie, much discussion has turned toward genetic testing that can locate a mutation in the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene. The doors opening to various medical options have brought up personal questions and emotional choices for many women. “Lately, people from the community have been referred from doctors to get [genetic] testing,” said Deana Tuell, manager and breast health navigator at the Breast Health Center at Columbus Regional Hospital. “Doctors are more informed now. It’s a quickly changing field.” Although the test has been in existence for approximately 10 years, Dr. Erika Rager, breast surgeon at Franciscan St. Francis Health, is happy that the public has become more aware of it. “It’s been in the media a lot lately, and people have a heightened awareness of it. I think that is a good thing,” she said. According to Rager, in about 85 percent of women, the development of breast cancer is mostly the result of being female and getting older. For 5 percent to 10 percent of women, cancer runs in the family. In another 5 percent to 10 percent, cancer can be traced to a genetic mutation that is associated with hereditary breast and ovarian cancers. She added that there are other types of gene mutations that can cause cancer, but all of them have not been clearly marked. The CRH Breast Health Center has been conducting genetic testing since January. About 89 people have been presented with the option of having a genetic test. Only 24 of those clients have chosen to take the test. Three tested positive for the mutated gene. Women who do not choose to be tested have various reasons, according to Tuell. Some say they are not worried, or they have a strong faith in God, or they believe what will be, will be. There are also women who believe that science is meddling in

She Magazine // august 2013

TOP: Deanna Tuell, manager and nurse navigator at Columbus Regional Health Breast Health Center, shares information about genetic testing. ABOVE: A full field digital mammography machine at CRH. Photos by Joel Philippsen

areas that should be left alone. For those who want to know what the future may hold, for their sake or the sake of the family, the Breast Health Center offers screening options from mammograms to family history forms to genetic testing. The clients are presented with information from the National Cancer Consortium, so they can make fully informed personal choices. The testing is done on site by obtaining a specimen — a simple swish and spit process that collects cells from the inside of the client’s mouth. The specimen is sent to a lab, and results are usually received around two

weeks later. This method replaced the previous one, which required a blood draw. Women who test positive for the gene have the option of a prophylactic mastectomy, a preventive removal of the breasts. When a positive gene mutation and active cancer are both present, Rager said, most people choose surgery as the first step. They often have a choice in what type of surgery they can have — a mastectomy or a lumpectomy. Typically after surgery if women need chemotherapy, that comes next. Radiation can follow, especially if lymph nodes are involved. The last step is

In about 85 percent of women, the development of breast cancer is mostly the result of being female and getting older. For 5 percent to 10 percent of women, cancer runs in the family. In another 5 percent to 10 percent, cancer can be traced to a genetic mutation that is associated with hereditary breast and ovarian cancers. —dr. erika rager, breast surgeon at Franciscan St. Francis Health

hormonal therapy. “There are some people who hope this follows a specific path, but it is so individualized,” Tuell said. “It’s up to the woman and what she knows about herself and what she feels.” For patients who choose to test at CRH Breast Health Center and get a positive result (a gene mutation with no cancer present), the center offers information to help them make decisions they are comfortable with, from talking to a surgeon or genetic counselor to asking about drugs to ward off the cancer that will most likely occur. The gene mutation can come from both sides of the family, according to Tuell, meaning males and females can be carriers. “We see that a lot. Male breast cancer in the family throws up a red flag.” Morgan Dally, cancer genetic counselor at St. Francis Hospital in Indianapolis,

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Morgan Dally, left, and Dr. Erika Rager consult with a colleague. Photo courtesy of St. Francis.

She Magazine // august 2013

works to overcome a general misconception that some people have a different or an extra gene. “We all have the same genes — the BRCA 1 and 2 genes. In some people they don’t work right, and there is a change that leads to an increased risk of cancer.” According to Dally, the change in the mutated genes causes a malfunction, but the genes alone do not cause cancer. Dr. Angela Rearick, an anesthesiologist at St. Francis, became an energetic advocate for the testing within her own family when her 43-year-old sister was diagnosed with breast cancer in February after a normal mammogram last November. By the time the lump was discovered, it had already spread to the lymph nodes in her armpits. “She had gotten her annual mammogram as she was supposed to. And when she found the cancer, she was tested and was positive for the gene mutation,” Rearick said. “When she told me that, I started researching that and immediately signed up to be tested.” When her sister informed the family that she tested positive for the mutation, Rearick

made up her mind about her plan of action. “While I was waiting for my test results to return, I knew if my test results had come back positive, I would have been on the [operating room] schedule the next day to have both ovaries and both breasts removed.” Rearick tested negative for the gene mutation, but she continues to promote the testing to her family members. “I don’t think they realized the implications until my sister had breast cancer,” Rearick said of her family’s new knowledge of their level of risk, adding that her sister would have been screened more closely if she had known the high likelihood of being positive. “Had we realized the significance of being tested for that gene, she and my brothers and sisters would have been tested a long time ago.” *she Information: Columbus Regional Hospital Breast Health Center at 376-5064 or Franciscan Alliance Breast Clinic at 317-781-7391.

>> health & beauty

Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re doing it again! august 2013 // she magazine

>> health & beauty

A note from Kelsey … Do you wish you could change something about yourself? Because I’m a woman, I likely know the answer to that. It seems we’re programmed to be critical, to want something more of ourselves than what we have. However in some situations, that’s not always a bad thing. Several years ago we set out with a quest to help women achieve a healthier lifestyle. It’s that time of year again, the start of Strong, Healthy, Empowered. In this annual contest, 12 women embark on a journey to test themselves physically, mentally and emotionally. We don’t call it a weight loss challenge, because it’s not just about a number or a size. It never has been. Contestants learn workouts and proper nutrition; they engage in weekly team and self-building exercises designed to boost self-confidence. At the end of the 12-week program, the top three contestants are chosen based on percentage of body fat lost. The winner receives $500, second place, $250, and third place, $100. The 2013 sponsors are Coca-Cola Smart Water, Hilliard Lyons, Bob Poynter GMC, Dental Solutions, Raft to Rafters, The Republic and Tipton Lakes Athletic Club. “This program, year after year, has proven more than just a 12-week challenge, but a lifestyle change that is kicked off with our SHE challenge,” said Ian McGriff, fitness director at Tipton Lakes Athletic

Club. McGriff and his wife, Megan, guide the contestants through the program. The 2012 contest was the most successful season yet, according to McGriff. “The ladies of the 2012 SHE Challenge were a very special group to Megan and I,” he said. “They, as a unit, dove into the program and embraced the challenges, the camaraderie, well, the program as a whole.” She magazine is taking entry applications for the 2013 contest. See the form inside this issue. The contest is open to women age 18 and older, whether the goal is weight loss or simply toning up and trying something new. “In our pursuit of the next 12, we are looking for women who are ready for a change, not a quick fix,” McGriff said. “We’re looking for women who are willing to be challenged, to take risks and to engage in a new way of thinking and being. “Throughout the last several years, our results have continued to improve. Our program has continued to adapt and grow, and our relationships with these women have strengthened.” Contest entries are due Aug. 30 and must be submitted, along with a photo, to The Republic at 333 Second St. The contestants will be notified by Sept. 6. For more information contact Kathy Burnett at 379-5655 or kburnett@therepublic.com. Regardless who you are, what you’re story, your size, age or history this program is for you. *she

For this feature we take to the streets and ask women a different question each issue. This month:

What is your favorite workout? “The Wellness Program at the hospital offers noon classes during the week in the basement of the (Cummins Office Building) so I do yoga on Mondays and Fridays, strength training on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Pilates on Wednesdays. I work downtown so I zip over there on my lunch hour. I have also taken a couple of classes at Crossfit Retaliation and I run. I’m training for the marathon in September so everything’s ramped up right now.”

“Just Dance,” the Wii program. I like all types. You can play your favorite songs and then when you hear them out in public, you know the moves (from the video game). It’s definitely good exercise though, and it’s fun so you’re getting a workout without really realizing it.”

—Tammy Watters, Columbus

—Katie Miller, Columbus

She Magazine // august 2013

Sign me up! I’ll do what it takes to get healthy, stronger and become empowered! 12 Lucky Ladies will receive the opportunity to exercise at Tipton Lakes Athletic Club from Sept. 14 to Dec. 12. This includes free personalized workout routines! Entry form must be submitted by Aug. 30. Contestants will be notified by Sept. 6. The top 3 ladies with the best BMI results will win $500, $250 and $100.

Name Address City/State/Zip Daytime Phone Email

SIze of T-shirt needed: S M L XL XXL

Please attach a current photo and a response, using 300 words or less, to the question: “Why would you like to participate in this promotion?” Please list any health issues that could interfere with exercise and nutritional fitness.

Signature Date Bring or mail your entry to: The Republic, 333 2nd Street, Columbus | 812-379-5601

*Contestants must be available to participate in a workout regimen at Tipton Lakes Athletic Club a minimum of once per week and must be accountable throughout the time period of the contest. All contestants must sign a release and state they are in proper health to participate in an exercise program. Contestants must be over 18 years of age. Progress will be documented monthly in SHE with a grand finale celebration on Dec. 12 at Tipton Lakes Athletic Club.

august 2013 // she magazine

She Magazine // august 2013

Hospital gift shop stocks comfort and style By jenni l. muncie-sujan photos by joel philippsen

any people have visited Columbus Regional Hospital’s gift shop during times of stress and joy, being pulled in by the allure of the ever-changing display window or the hope of

bringing cheer to a patient. Fewer people realize that the gift shop is also a symbol of hope — an embodiment of how community residents serve others through Columbus Regional Hospital Auxiliary. “We’re not a regular retail store,” says Laura Hurt, director of volunteer services at the hospital. “The people here are under stress. We try to be a place of respite and bring some joy to whomever shows up, and whoever shows up should be able to purchase something.”

august 2013 // she magazine

The shop is also a source of comfort for its volunteers. Darlene Byrd, floral design chairwoman, was attracted to the position not to show off her skills, but to regain a happier view of the hospital. “I had breast cancer, so I had to come here for treatments and everything,” says Byrd. “That wasn’t the most fun I had ever had, so I needed a positive reason to come here. The floral area was one area I thought I would enjoy.” When she first began volunteering, she sold candy and magazines from a cart that she pushed around the hospital. Now, after 13 cancer-free years, Byrd orders all flowers and supplies for the floral workshop. She also supervises the volunteers — two groups that meet every Monday and Tuesday to create signature floral designs that will be sold in the gift shop. The group works in a hospital-owned auxiliary building across the creek from the main building, and its product has increased in popularity since Byrd started leading the group in 2001. “It’s probably grown in popularity because I think (customers) have come to realize the quality for the price of our floral,”

says Byrd. “We have a good quality flowers that we use, and we’re very particular about our design. It has to pass my inspection before it comes over.” The significance of the shop is not only that it is operated by the auxiliary, but that, according to the auxiliary’s mission, all proceeds of its efforts go directly to the

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She Magazine // august 2013

hospital for healing environment projects, which include the aviary, fountain and patient care equipment or improvements. In general, the funds are not applied to what CRH needs, but rather what it would like to purchase beyond general necessities. “We are a nonprofit retail, if such a contradiction exists,” Hurt says, adding that

Volunteer Sandy Welliver, center, trims a branch to include in a terrarium she is creating as Nancy Taylor, left, and Darlene Byrd watch. OPPOSITE PAGE: (from left) Ann Sharp, Sandy Welliver, Louise Szymanski, Darlene Byrd, Nancy Taylor, Bev Bryant-Ulrey, and Walburga Oliver.

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the shop has no funds for marketing. Pat Legger has been the gift shop manager for seven years. She served as a volunteer for seven years, which included being president of the auxiliary, before her employment as manager. “We are there as a service first and second as a retail shop,” Legger says. When merchandise is selected, special attention is given to things that are allowed and can be enjoyed in patient rooms. Hurt says convenience for visitors, patients and employees is kept in mind, emphasizing what would be nice to have and how accessible it would be.

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The products in the gift shop include regional vendors in a line called Celebrating Indiana. This includes Hoosier-made lotions, snacks, chocolates, photography, fundraising merchandise from local nonprofit organizations and works from local authors. “There is a lot of work in preparing for what we do,” says Hurt. “We don’t just stick things in the window,” says Bev Bryant-Ulrey, floral designer and warehouse merchandise manager. “The gift shop chooses the theme, and (Byrd) works the designs around that.” Often, the life of window display merchandise can be short, and the changing display has come to be somewhat of an informal business indicator. “The main thing is that when you’re decorating the window, we sometimes have things sold before we get them into the 24

She Magazine // august 2013

Volunteer Carol Shoultz talks with a customer in the CRH gift shop.

window,” says Legger. “When we change the window, the first week is a very good week because customers are looking for something new and something different.” Bryant-Ulrey decided to volunteer because of the positive experience she had as a patient at the hospital. “I had been retired for about three years, plus I had gone through all that pain with my knee. I was ready to get out of that house. I just couldn’t sit there any more.” Coming together with many different stories and experiences, approximately 200 auxiliary members volunteer for CRH, 20 of whom help in the gift shop. Legger says that she sees the gift shop serving as an encouragement to the employees of the hospital. “If they’ve had a hectic day, they come down to look at the window just to relax them,” she says. Some have gone as far as requesting that a sitting area be located by the gift shop. “The shop is small in comparison to other gift shops,” says Hurt. “But we get a lot of mileage out of it,” adds Bryant-Ulrey. *she

august 2013 // she magazine

Columbus women start autism support group

By shannon palmer / Photos by andrew laker

Christine Belviy, left, chats with Nancy Hiquet and Heather Baker. Opposite page: Kamden Hiquet, 8, left, and Sydney Dietrich, 13.

august 2013 // she magazine

Christine Belviy, Heather Baker and Nancy Hiquet all have wonderful children whom they adore. They have changed diapers, set up play dates and registered for preschool classes. They have sat on the bleachers with other parents to watch sporting events and cheer on their children. But for these three moms, they have another common bond: They all have children who have been diagnosed with autism. Autism is considered a spectrum disorder where symptoms may fall anywhere in a range from minimal to severe. Two children with the same diagnosis may vary greatly in treatment needs and behaviors. For example, a child may exhibit limited speech capabilities while being exceptionally bright, or have an interest in other children but not understand how to play. Children with autism are usually not diagnosed until around age 3. Common symptoms of the disorder in early childhood include failure to make eye contact, pacing, making odd noises or sensitivity to sounds and touch. Baker’s and Hiquet’s children were exhibiting behaviors before the 3-year mark. Belviy did not realize there was a problem until her son, now 16, started elementary school. But all agree that as soon as they heard the word autism, and received the actual diagnosis, their lives changed. Baker described what it was like when she received affirmation that her daughter, Sydney, had autism. “I knew early on that there was something wrong, but I didn’t know what it was. She wasn’t speaking; she wouldn’t make eye contact; she climbed on everything. She explored everything with her mouth, even licking the driveway to see what it was.

She Magazine // august 2013

She was loving, but in a different way,” Baker said. “I felt that I was prepared for the diagnosis since I was a teacher. I thought I understood what it was and what her challenges would be. But the day that the doctors (at Riley Hospital for Children) came in the room and officially said, ‘Yes, your child has autism,’ I just remember crying and feeling such pain and anguish. “I knew then that it was a lifelong commitment to help her achieve, and it was going to take many more people to help me raise this child.” All agree it is up to the parents to be their child’s best advocate. Locating resources, doing research and determining which therapies will best fit the child become responsibilities of the caregivers. Organization and planning become crucial when it comes to keeping routines and schedules for some children, not to mention that transitions can be very difficult. All of this new responsibility can be overwhelming. Because these women had already been through the diagnosis period, the development of individualized education plans and strategy implementation for their own children, they thought there was a need to support and share experiences

“Autism parenting can be very isolating. ... Behaviors can be unpredictable, and it can get stressful just to stop in the grocery store or a friend’s house when you’re not sure when or what may trigger an episode.” —christine belviy

with other families affected by autism. They wanted to offer a place where there was no pressure and no judgment, just a place to come and meet others who have gone through or are going through the same thing. December marked the first meeting of the Columbus Autism Network. Otherwise known as CAN, the group meets at 6:30 p.m. the first Thursday of each month at the ARC of Bartholomew County. They also want to stress that all families are welcome, whether they are new to the diagnosis or seasoned veterans. “Autism parenting can be very isolating. Many people think that autism is a behavioral disorder; it is actually a neurological disorder, but the behaviors are a result of the inability to effectively communicate,” Belviy said. “Behaviors can be unpredictable, and it can get stressful just to stop in the grocery store or a friend’s house when you’re not sure when or what may trigger an episode.” Belviy, who is also an ally for the Autism Society of Indiana, says some parents or caregivers get to the point where they would rather wait for someone to relieve them to run errands than risk their child having a meltdown in public. Because

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She Magazine // august 2013

autism affects the brain, one of the common issues with individuals affected is processing information, and the reaction and timing to this may vary. Being able to control the environment at home to avoid these sometimes awkward excursions out in public tends to lead to isolation for some families. Hiquet agrees. “I feel like I am always on. I have to explain my son’s behavior to the other people around us, even family members, and it can make you feel like they are judging you even if they really aren’t,” she said. The women want the Columbus Autism Network to provide a relaxed environment where parents can meet and just talk. They also want it to be a place where they can share ideas and stories and offer each other encouragement. “It was an idea to form a group where we can talk about anything and not be judged on parenting skills or how the child is acting. It is nice to talk to other people who understand what you are talking about. I needed it just to have people to talk to,” Hiquet said.

Belviy says anyone who is affected by autism is welcome. Not only does CAN hold monthly meetings, they also set up family outings. Excursions have included a party at the Foundation for Youth, bowling and a cookout, complete with bounce houses and games. Hiquet says these outings are fun, as the children get to meet each other and play. No one has to stress about what others will think if one of their kids does not adapt to an activity well. The other parents aren’t judging or trying to add their advice and help out, unless asked of course. And no one has to feel apprehensive if there is an issue, as they have all dealt with this at one time or another. *she

Information on the Columbus Autism Network: on Facebook or email Christine Belviy at Christine@inautism.org.

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Avoid what-not-to-say moments with new parents By leanne italie Associated press

Your sex life will never be the same. In my day. What, not breast-feeding? From diet tips to “little baby, little problems,” sleepdeprived and super-stressed new parents have heard it all. And they want you to stop it. As Britain’s Prince William and his wife, Kate, move along on their parenting journey, it seems even the queen has had a what-not-to-say moment. According to a special edition of Us magazine on raising royals, she exclaimed soon after William’s birth: “Thank goodness he hasn’t ears like his father!” Most every new parent has a greatest hits of lame advice and annoying remarks. For fitness buff Brook Benten, mom of 4-month-old Hayes, her list included her post-baby body. “My swollen uterus made me look like I was still five months pregnant,” said the Round Rock, Texas, mom. “I was elated to be a mother, but I knew good and well that I looked baaaaad. Well-intending visitors would look me once over and say, ‘Wow! You look great!’“ And how should that have gone? “Compliment our baby. Tell us he/she is the cutest baby you’ve ever seen. But don’t compliment the body of the new mother.” Devon Clement is a postpartum doula in Princeton, N.J. Basically, her job description is to be helpful to new parents. She has overheard some doozies and made up a facetious script for clients to hang on their doors. It covers a lot of ground:

She Magazine // august 2013

Dear Guests, d for new addition(s), an r ou e se to g in m co for Thank you so much also, for leaving wishes. Thank you, od go d an fts gi s, visit by bringing your smile be sick, we’ll have a ay m u yo k in th u e! If yo your germs at hom appreciate the dow. We also greatly in w e th h ug ro th r at you plan waving at each othe t us, and the fact th gh ou br e u’v yo l ea pm hot or easy-to-heat-u ce and short. cuse the to keep your visit ni nd here, so please ex ou ar ks ee /w ys da w We’ve had a busy fe as. ... I may need I am still in my pajam at th ct fa e th d an you unmess in the house ends you or makes off is th If . re he e ar you ad. to breast-feed while u to put over your he yo r fo by se clo ts some blanke t things comfortable, I keep ur stories about wha yo ar he to g in st re te in While we find it very vice to your, please keep your ad es bi ba ur yo d ha u We have were like when yo an air of judgment. ith w es m co it if lly pecia self unless asked, es thanks. d we are doing OK, an , us at g in m co n enough informatio

august 2013 // she magazine

Perhaps most acutely distressed in the very early months are the parents of preemies. Megan Lubin of Philadelphia gave birth three months early to her now-2-year-old and spent that time in a hospital’s neonatal intensive care unit. Once he did come home, during winter, she and her husband didn’t host many visitors or go out that much. “When we did interact with the outside world, the comments and questions flooded in,” she said. “We certainly didn’t mind if people were curious or genuinely interested in our son, but it was hurtful at times when strangers would compare their child to ours.” Things not to say to the parents of a preemie? “‘Well, my child is the same age and much bigger!’ Or ‘Your son is awfully thin,’” Lubin suggests. “The worst was when they would compare what their child was able to do.” Brandi Jordan, who owns a parenting resource center in Los Angeles, said the way to avoid ticking off new parents is pretty simple. “I think that people should not give advice. Period,” she said. “People see it as open license when they see someone with a baby to give them their opinion on how they should have socks on, or they should have a hat on, or they need sunblock, or you shouldn’t be taking them out, they’re too young. Some people make themselves armchair experts because they’ve read a lot of things.”

She Magazine // august 2013

Britain's Prince William and his wife, Kate, Duchess of Cambridge hold their son, the Prince of Cambridge, outside London’s St. Mary's Hospital, where he was born on July 22. The baby, who is third in line to the British throne, has since been named George Alexander Louis and will be known as Prince George of Cambridge. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth)

That, she said, is why the what-not-to-say problem is so out of control these days. Blogs, social networks and simple online search are the armchair expert’s best friends, said Jordan, who has a 6-year-old. Instead of advice, how about not coming over for a visit when you have a cold, even though you think you and your kids are no longer contagious? How about not asking the new parents of multiples: “Are they natural or IVF?” But she has a suggestion for new parents, too: How about not rejecting outright the experiences of your own parents due to their grandparently status? “A lot of new parents discount what their own parents actually know, but a lot of grandparents do have good traditional things that work really well,” she said. First, she said, parents need to realize that they really do need help. “Before, you didn’t need help because your family was right there and did everything, but so many people are far removed from their families.” But make sure help is help. Visits should be 10 minutes, not two hours, in the early days unless you plan to throw in a load of laundry, do dishes or cook a meal.

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Dr. Richard So, a pediatrician at Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital, has three kids of his own. The youngest is not yet 2. His advice for well-meaning loved ones: “Leave the lasagna or manicotti at the door.” Among the what-not-to-say moments that set his phone ringing: “Oh my gosh, what is that rash on your baby’s face?” And “Oh my gosh, what’s wrong with your baby’s head?” Rashes: They’re common for newborns. The head: It often doesn’t exit a woman’s body completely round. So what should a well-intentioned visitor be doing? “Ninety percent is just reassuring that mother that she’s doing the right things, that she’s not going to harm her baby,” he said. “All a new baby needs to do is eat, sleep, poop and grow.” *she

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Nick and Trisha Benzine at their wedding held at Turner Field in Atlanta. (AP Photo/Graceology Photography)

By lisa a. flam Associated press

Couples make memories by celebrating weddings at ballparks

She Magazine // august 2013

For itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one, two, three strikes, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ... married? A major league baseball stadium might be one of the last places you would consider for your fairytale wedding. After all, come game day, the ballpark is often filled with droves of beer-swilling and -spilling, hot-dogchomping fans, resplendent in their home-team finery. Some couples, though, find that the massive stadiums where they enjoy hearing the crack of the bat can also be the perfect place to hear their

beloved say, “I do.” When she chose a reception site for her wedding on June 2, 2012, Melissa Cantarow of Boston was mindful that most of her 150 guests were arriving from other states. She and her fiance, Jeremy, wanted a unique location that would show off their city and show their fun-loving friends and relatives a good time. Once the Red Sox fans were pronounced husband and wife in a church ceremony, the Cantarows and their guests headed to a formal evening reception at Fenway Park. “We figured for people possibly seeing Fenway for the first time, this would be a great way to see it and would be a great introduction to the city and to sort of the heart of Boston,” Cantarow said. Before the big day, however, the couple faced skepticism. “Our parents were a little bit wary of us getting married there because it’s not very traditional and people were like, ‘Are you going to be eating hot dogs for dinner?’” said Cantarow. “They couldn’t imagine it still being a formal wedding.” The party was held in a luxury event space overlooking the field. There was a sit-down dinner at tables decorated with twinkling candles, pink peony centerpieces and gold Chivari chairs, to give the room a more bridal feel. “We tried to dress the room up so it wasn’t your typical sticky floors, draft beer” ballpark feeling, Cantarow said. “We wanted to give people an elevated experience of Fenway.” Though Fenway only allows weddings on non-game days, the baseball lovers enjoyed snapping photos with World Series trophies and other baseball paraphernalia. Having the wedding at Fenway allowed an otherwise formal event to be “a little bit more fun and approachable and exciting,” Cantarow said. Baseball fans have been celebrat-

ing nuptials at major league ballparks for at least five to 10 years, and while some parks have seen an increase, the numbers remain small. Fenway has 25 to 30 wedding events a year; Citi Field, home to the New York Mets, five or six; Turner Field, where the Atlanta Braves play, 13 to 18; and four to five are held at U.S. Cellular Field, where the Chicago White Sox play. Many people don’t realize you can celebrate at a ballpark, said Anja Winikka, site director for TheKnot. com, though ballpark weddings have grown in popularity as more couples seek unique locations. “It falls into the category where

couples did away with the idea of a traditional venue and they went for something that was truly them,” Winikka said. Each park has its own policies on when and where celebrations can be held and sets its own prices. Fenway, for example, charges a $3,000 ceremony fee, $7,000 to use the EMC Club, where the Cantarows celebrated, plus the cost of food and drinks. Ceremonies and receptions at ballparks can be fancy with a night of dinner and dancing, or kept casual and folksy. They can be infused with the aura of the game (picture Cracker Jack centerpieces), or not. But no

Holly and Jeff Lowzik said “I do” at Dodgers Stadium in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Adrienne Gunde Photography) ABOVE: Ashley and Cody Crank during their wedding at Kauffman Field in Kansas City. (AP Photo/Jessica Thomas) august 2013 // she magazine

Having the wedding at Fenway allowed an otherwise formal event to be “a little bit more fun and approachable and exciting.” —melissa cantarow

Melissa and Jeremy Cantarow (AP Photo/Giuliana Photography, Dana Giuliana)

She Magazine // august 2013

matter. It seems that if you invite people to a ballpark wedding, be prepared for most everyone to accept. Bridal couples (and their lucky guests) love to experience the stadiums and fields in a way few people do. Imagine saying your vows at home plate with your guests watching from the stands, posing for formal portraits atop your favorite team’s dugout, or seeing your names or photos on the giant TV screens. Ashley and Cody Crank welcomed 200 guests to their reception at Kauffman Stadium on Oct. 20, 2012, some eight years after they took in a Kansas City Royals game on their first date. The couple, who married in a church ceremony, immediately went down to the field to take photos before retreating to a dinner inside. Many friends, used to going to the stadium in a baseball cap, didn’t realize how elegant a wedding could be there,

Ashley Crank said. “We shocked a lot of people,” said Crank. “It was so magical. I wanted it to be kind of guyish for him, but then I still wanted an elegant wedding reception. So it was perfect for him and perfect for me.” Trisha and Nick Benzine of Atlanta are huge sports fans, but the only team they share a passion for is the Braves. Not wanting to marry in a church, they tied the knot at Turner Field on Nov. 3, 2012, and held their formal reception there, too. “Having the entire field to ourselves, it was amazing,” said Trisha Benzine. “The view was breathtaking. You were there at night. There wasn’t anybody on the field. It’s not something you get to do every day.” The Los Angeles Dodgers mean a lot to Holly and Jeff Lowzik, who grew up going to games and went together weekly for about a year

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while they were dating. “It’s a very happy place for us,” said Jeff Lowzik. For their wedding, “We were looking for a place that represented us as best as we could.” They didn’t want to break the bank on a $5,000 home-plate ceremony. Instead, for about the same cost, they had 50 people to the stadium’s Loge Terrace on July 4, 2011, for a casual pregame ceremony and reception featuring Dodger Dogs, steak and potatoes and wedding cake. By the third inning, the group sat down in regular seats amid 55,000 other fans to watch the Dodgers fall to the Mets. For the Lowziks, being there during a game was the point of a stadium wedding. “Doing it the way we did it, we’re at a game, this is the Dodgers playing, and we’re all there experiencing it and uniting ourselves,” Lowzik said. “It was a wonderful experience.” *she

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>> cuisine

She Magazine // august 2013

They’ll scream for an ice cream sandwich buffet By alison ladman Associated press

he beauty of ice cream in summer is you really don’t need to do anything to it to enjoy it. A big unadorned bowl is a simple, delicious pleasure all on its own. Still, sometimes we can’t help but tinker with perfection. We created a DIY ice cream sandwich buffet perfect for any backyard barbecue event. And we quickly discovered the possibilities were boggling. Start with the “bread” of the sandwiches. We’re going to assume you don’t want to bake your own cookies. That’s fine, because there are all sorts of choices available at the grocer. And don’t hesitate to get creative. Graham crackers, slices of cake, even cinnamon buns or doughnuts can be pressed into service. Play around with different sizes, too. Small cookies can be used for ice cream sandwich “sliders.” And don’t forget to dress your sandwiches. Smear toppings such as fudge, caramel or peanut sauce onto the cookies (much as you would when assembling a PB&J) before adding the ice cream. Then there are the many choices of fillings — ice cream, frozen yogurt, sorbet, gelato, sherbet .... We suggest serving them one of two ways. The easiest way is to soften the frozen treats slightly so they are easily scooped and spread on the “bread.” To soften them, you can either leave them at room temperature for 10 or so minutes, or microwave them for 10 to 20 seconds. Alternatively, select frozen treats packed in pint-sized cardboard tubs. Use a serrated knife to carefully slice each tub crosswise into four or five rounds, then arrange the rounds on a baking sheet. Keep the rounds frozen until ready to assemble. Just don’t let the rounds sit out at room temperature too long while people are assembling their sandwiches; the ice cream will soften quickly. We start you off with ideas for some creative combinations, but your best bet is to wander the grocery store and explore the options. When it comes to enjoying the buffet, encourage your guests to get a little crazy. Why sandwich just one variety of ice cream when you could combine two or more? And assure them that creating totally over-the-top treats is not just appropriate, but expected. Try sandwiching chocolate ice cream between two whoopie pies with layers of peanut sauce and marshmallow spread, for example.

august 2013 // she magazine

>> cuisine

Sweet Possibilities: 42

She Magazine // august 2013

SHORTCAKE SANDWICH

Spread 2 pieces of thinly sliced and toasted pound cake with strawberry jam, then fill with vanilla or strawberry ice cream.

BLACK AND RED

Sandwich raspberry sorbet between chocolate wafer cookies.

Ice Cream Sandwich Buffet Ingredients: For the “bread”: Graham crackers Pound cake, sliced and toasted Chocolate wafer cookies Oatmeal raisin cookies Chocolate chip cookies Molasses cookies Sugar cookies Whoopie pies For the spreads: Chocolate fudge sundae sauce Caramel sauce Butterscotch topping Fruit jams, such as raspberry or strawberry Marshmallow spread Nutella For the frozen fillings: Ice cream Sorbet Frozen yogurt Sherbet Gelato

CREAMSICLE

Sandwich orange sherbet between vanilla sugar cookies. Add a smear of chocolate fudge sauce, if desired.

S’MORE

Spread marshmallow topping on two graham crackers, then fill with rocky road or chocolate ice cream.

LEMON SPICE

Drizzle a touch of butterscotch on a soft molasses cookie, then top with lemon sorbet or sherbet, then a second molasses cookie.

august 2013 // she magazine

>> business-minded

Alpha, Beta and Gamma – Oh My By jalene hahn

Jalene Hahn is a certified financial planner with Warren Ward Associates.

She Magazine // august 2013

s kids head off to college, you may think I am talking about the Panhellenic system, but that’s a different kind of Greek. If you have ever thought “finance is Greek to me,” you would be right. Investing does involve a lot of theories and formulas, and we use mathematical equations to model and “predict” what’s going to happen. The models and formulas we use involve Greek notations. In my college classes I learned the concepts of alpha and beta as related to investment theory, but I recently came across a new definition for gamma. Financial planning is broader than simply investment management, and its benefits are difficult to define and quantify. Many people are familiar with Morningstar for the star ratings given to mutual funds. David Blanchett and Paul Kaplan from Morningstar published a study promoting the concept of gamma as a way to quantify the value “from making more intelligent financial planning decisions.” They estimate that a retiree can expect to generate “29 percent more income” using a gammaefficient retirement income strategy. In defining gamma in this context, they focus on five fundamental financial planning decisions and techniques. Note: The 29 percent figure is an estimate, and many of these strategies are already routinely incorporated into financial plans.

MAKE A TOTAL WEALTH ASSET ALLOCATION

I was at a conference several years ago, and one of the sessions was on your most important asset – your human capital. Your ability to earn money, and more importantly save money, will have a larger impact on your financial future than the rate of return earned on your financial capital. One definition of human capital is the net present value of future earnings. Managing risk becomes not just about an individual’s preference, but also their ability to assume risk. In your early career years it’s looking at how you manage your career and evaluate the need for additional education or certification. It also takes into consideration your need for life, health and disability insurance.

DEVELOP A DYNAMIC WITHDRAWAL STRATEGY

There is a fine balancing act between current spending and having enough to last for your lifetime. Spending should be examined regularly and adjusted as market conditions, health and goals change. We all have experienced times in our lives when we had to learn to do with a little less and other times we had a little extra to spend.

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This area can be very complex. It looks at the interplay between growth characteristics of investments and the tax implications of investment accounts. Pensions, annuities and Social Security income sources are also evaluated as part of the “optimal” mix. Each situation is unique. There are some basic concepts, but the execution for each component will be unique in every situation. An example would be putting investments that have high growth potential in a ROTH IRA because growth in a ROTH IRA is tax-free.

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When saving for retirement, Blanchett said, the real risk is not being able to pay for it. This is a different way to look at asset allocation and generally involves more sophisticated investing techniques. This approach tries to minimize the effects of inflation and currency valuation. According to Blanchett, “If inflation is high you want your portfolio to do well, if it is low, you don’t need it to do as well.” *she

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>> view from mars

Excellent Adventures By andrew larson

Andrew and his brother, Eric

his summer found my family heading to the cool air and downright freezing water of northern Minnesota to visit my brother, Eric, his wife, Amy, and sons, Brennen and Colby. For our two youngest sons, it was their first trip to Duluth — a place that I have come to love, especially in the summer months, when the water is only freezing in a figurative sense. The boys got busy immediately. Literally within minutes they were playing street hockey, lacrosse and baseball. Within an hour of our arrival, we were off to see a minor league baseball game. The theme for the week evolved as “MANCAMP” — a satirically sexist theme and one which should not suggest that Amy and Megan weren’t in on all of it, because they were — but we were all about action during our stay. Over a dizzying four-day span there were, collectively, four mountain and one road bike rides, a fishing outing, two trips to the beach, cliff jumping and creek hiking, innumerable sessions of “Rundown” (a base-stealing game the boys invented), two campfires and sauna sessions, a Fourth of July fireworks show and a bit of shopping. There were a grand total of about two hours of television time and just two meals out (Eric did almost 100 percent of the cooking). As kids, Eric and I were the epitome of Ted and Fred — those children’s book dogs who were perpetual opposites. If I was playing Star Wars, Eric was fishing; if I was reading a book, Eric was shooting a slingshot; if I was doing a puzzle, Eric was off walking in the woods. Our paths crossed infrequently and often

She Magazine // august 2013

involuntarily. Like Ted and Fred, though, we rarely were at odds, and we were pretty patient with one another. (I still remember telling Eric the whole story of “Return of the Jedi,” and even though he was obviously trying to go to sleep, he feigned interest throughout the whole narration. And I pretended to be fascinated by the wild game that he would bring home, skin and cook.) Little by little, though, Eric started to influence my interests more and more. I never would have gone to summer camp had he not gone first, come home covered in grime and wide-eyed with adrenaline. If I hadn’t done that, I probably would not have ended up becoming a teacher (this is where I learned how much I love nature and working with kids) and meeting the love of my

life (Megan and I were fellow camp counselors). Eric took me on my first mountain bike ride — a suffer-fest at Brown County State Park — long before mountain biking was allowed there. It has been my one and only experience with hyperventilation. He also took me down my first black diamond ski run in the Rockies, plunging headlong down before me, doing his best “Call of the Wildman” and giving me no choice but to follow him. And then there was my first kayaking experience, conveniently timed after several days of torrential rain so that the waterways would be churning and the thrill maximized. And, of course, as I proclaimed in his wedding toast 18 years ago, Eric taught me everything I needed to know about girls … no need to expand on that talking point.

Being a teacher I’ve obviously seen a lot of learner types over the years, and Eric fits a particular personality and learner profile that I admire a lot. First, he is one of the most extroverted people that I know (in sharp contrast with my strongly introverted tendencies). He will talk to anyone, and his job as the leader of a nonprofit fits perfectly in those fundraising capacities that make programs like his stay afloat. Second, he is a highly kinesthetic person who doesn’t sit still for long. So every time we are together, we are on the move. (I did manage to steal an afternoon nap in Minnesota, during which time he took a bike ride and fixed a broken paddle.) It goes without saying that he is passionate about the outdoors, and he could easily have become a science teacher like me had he chosen to do so. Perhaps most importantly, Eric embodies a person with a “growth mindset,” coincidentally the main topic of a conference I attended last month. Eric embraces big challenges. He embraces the struggle, the failure, the pushing of personal boundaries. When he needs

help or advice with something (everything from his golf swing to parenting advice), he seeks it out. He talks to our mom on the phone almost daily. He is nothing if not proactive and willing to change the things around him that do not fit his ideal. I was slower to warm to the growth mindset that I now see so clearly that Eric has had since he was a kid. But now, I see that his role in my life has been to push me past what is comfortable, what is known, what is predictable. He can’t help but to have this influence on all of those around him; it’s just what he does. In his professional life, he helps run an organization that provides outdoor recreational opportunities for people with physical disabilities. Through his leadership, people who can’t see can ski; people who can’t walk can sail a boat; people who can’t bend down to plant a garden can work in beds built to waist height. A person with a fixed mindset would never take on this kind of challenge. To Eric, it’s just one of the ways that he has chosen to change the world around him for the better.

So suffice it to say that I was thrilled to have my brother as a guide during our recent trip. We had great conversations on our bikes in the woods, and he led my boys to the best (and safest) rock ledges to jump off into the frigid pools of the Lester River. Being, of course, that his boys are following his lead and pushing their own physical and mental boundaries, so, too, did our boys. It was a joy to see the five cousins relishing their time outside and not even asking for the TV to be turned on. And even though that nap that Megan and I stole one afternoon was welcome not only for my tired body but also my introverted brain, I loved the frenetic pace of our vacation. More so, I loved that I got that dose of Eric that helps me to chart my next set of personal challenges. As I attack them, he’ll be there in my mind, pushing me to dig deeper and go farther than I think I can. *she Andrew Larson is a teacher at New Tech High School. He and his wife and their three boys live in Columbus.

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just a minute

Landscape logic Weeds? Bugs? Heat and humidity? Marauding rabbits? Even the best gardeners lose some enthusiasm this time of year. If you’re growing veggies, there’s still time to cheer yourself up with the prospect of a fall crop. If you’ve got the space, or even a whiskey barrel, you can plant fall lettuce, carrots or Swiss chard now. You’ll be picking your homegrown produce as the autumn leaves fall. —Kris Medic, extension educator for Bartholomew County

Recommended reading “The Fault in Our Stars,” by John Green Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel’s story is about to be completely rewritten. It is a young-adult novel that has been out for a while. I frankly have been avoiding it, but I was finally persuaded to read it because of the wide acclaim it has been receiving. It is a wonderfully moving love story. Romeo and Juliet, move over. John Green has given us a beautiful love story and inspiration for living every moment of our lives to the fullest. —Melinda Clark, Viewpoint Books

Healthy habits School is back in session, and the lazy days of summer are numbered. That means hectic fall schedules are beginning, making it more important to get the rest you need. But just how much sleep is required? It depends on your age. Infants require about 16 h ours a day. Teenagers need nine hours on average, and most adults need seven to eight hours a night for optimal health. —webmd.com

Out and about Looking for something to do this weekend? Check out the fourth annual ArtFEST in downtown Columbus. Booths of ceramics, fiber, leather, furniture, glass, jewelry, printmaking, sculpture and woodwork art will line Washington Street from Third to Fifth, and Fourth Street from Jackson to Franklin streets. Free from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Aug. 24. Stephanie Wallace models colorful curls to judges at the Bad Hair Day competition at a previous at ArtFest. Photo by Andrew Laker

She Magazine // august 2013

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