At Holme Issue 25 - April/May 2024 by Info-Design Online

ATHolme

Issue 25 | April/May 2024

FROM THE PRINCIPAL’S PEN:

At what age can we set our children down to walk alone?

Every time we rescue, hover, or otherwise save our children from a challenge, we send a very clear message: that we believe they are incompetent, incapable, and unworthy of our trust. Further, we teach them to be dependent on us and thereby deny them the very education in competence we are put here on this earth to hand down. (Lahey, 2015)

Imagine this: your daughter (albeit 26 years old and old enough to know better) lets you know that she will be spending her birthday money riding the Death Road in Bolivia.

You immediately regret your generous well-meaning deposit of birthday dollars into her bank account and would like to put an immediate block on all bank transitions. You find yourself looking up fares to Bolivia and wondering if a quick flight across the Pacific might put a halt on your daughter’s impulsivity.

Distressed, you start googling Bolivia + Death Road + bike rides and come across information such as: ‘It [Death Road] begins at 15,400 feet and for an estimated 300 people a year ends in the loss of their life.’ Or … ‘Dubbed ‘El Camino de la Muerte’ (The Death Road) by locals,

for obvious reasons, and considered by many the most dangerous stretch of road in the world, the 40-mile journey from its summit entices in excess of 25,000 mountain bike riders annually.’

You chastise yourself (yet again) for poor parenting and raising a daughter who is confident enough to travel solo in South America. You wonder, what you have done wrong. You long for a quiet, complacent, compliant daughter – like the one everyone else seems to have. So, you send a text:

‘Feeling a bit ill about your bike ride.’

She sends one back.

We see our journey best after it is over … when there is time to reflect and time to see ourselves in our own homes, and find that we actually see the world, differently.

- Dr Linda Evans

‘It will be fine. I promise. It is something that just about every backpacker does in La Paz.’

There is no comfort in that, and you cringe inwardly at the phrase, you have heard all too often, ‘just about

everyone does it’ and you ponder about the enduring influence of peer pressure. But you take a deep breath and remind yourself that she is an adult, it is her decision, not yours and you pray – a lot.

You also have a sleepless night –although your husband doesn’t – he simply mumbles as he drifts off to a deep, uninterrupted slumber: ‘She’s really good on a bike.’ That’s no comfort, because you can see those headlines and statistics that you have over-googled, and images of sheer cliffs and narrow descents roll with clarity and frequency through your overwrought brain.

You receive the long anticipated and overdue message to say she has survived but instead it says: ‘I’m so annoyed! It’s cancelled because of civil unrest. It cost $200 and we can’t get a refund but I also don’t think it is worth waiting around for whenever the roads open so I will head towards Peru tomorrow. Such is life.’

You can barely hold back your excitement and it takes great presence of mind and some graciousness to say: ‘Thank God. Sorry for you Nat but relieved for me.’ The relief is enormous but, in a perfect piece of parent positioning there is a twist in the storyline.

The next evening, a Facebook message (notice different technology mediums used for each parent) to her father appears:

Hey dad

How are you?

I did death road today! We were able to change our tour

It was one of the greatest things I’ve ever done in my life

No injuries or death

Partial truth and positioning skills were cleverly in play. It’s an interesting paradox isn’t it – how hard should we or can we hold on to our children, at what age can we and do we set them down to walk alone? Who is better at it [the letting go] in your family? After all, the mother may well have robbed her daughter of ‘one of the greatest things in her life’, by overzealous holding on …

I admire my daughter’s fierce independence, though it scares me at times. I admire her fearlessness and her courage, though I pray for common sense and yes, safety. She is an adult, and I must let her be. And when at times I default to wanting to advise too much, hold on too tightly or offer too many words of ‘wisdom’ I know the problem lies with me. Any struggle to let go is mine, not hers. I am grateful that she is a strong, capable individual, woman, and human being.

It’s the same wish that I have for our Fairholme girls – that they too might become independent, courageous young women of the world: a world that is wider, more interconnected, and more accessible than ever before. So, forgive us on the occasions when we as teachers stand back a little, or when we resist the instinct to rescue, or when we fight the urge to hover or metaphorically pick your child up … remembering that we too want your daughter to know that she is capable, competent, and worthy of our trust. We too would like your daughters to have the freedom to travel solo - both literally and metaphorically, and hence enjoy the sometimes taken for granted opportunities their brothers often access without such limitations.

this really was the drawing of the line in the sand – where adulthood, independence, and definition of self as separate from his parents had occurred.

I could not hold on, and he was ready – ready to explore, problemsolve and find aspects of himself that simply were not discoverable in the safety of the family home. These are confronting aspects of parenting – the letting go, resisting the temptation to swoop in and rescue our child from any danger or to pick them ‘up’ when they need to have their feet on the ground. Admittedly, my husband and I have somewhat inadvertently raised children with a finely tuned travel instinct and an unerring attraction to the road less travelled. It still stops my heart at times. But it gladdens me, as well.

Occasionally, I wonder if we didn’t hold on tightly enough, but I am also deeply aware of the impact of doing so. What if we had prevented them, throughout their adolescence, from anything difficult? What if we had fed their fears, with our own? What if we had enabled them to avoid anything that caused discomfort. US psychologist Lisa Damour’s reminds us that ‘avoidance feeds anxiety’ (2023). She adds:

Perhaps the intention was always to ride the road – but she knew what was best to tell her mother and what to tell her father.

My son took his scantily-filled backpack and headed solo to India as a 19-year-old … for nine months. I admit, however, to hovering at the top of the stairs outside his bedroom, the morning of his departure. There was an overwhelming sense of loss, in that moment. Perhaps I knew that

‘When we avoid the things we fear, the immediate effect is that we feel tremendous relief, which can actually reinforce the wish to continue the avoidance. By not going to school or not going to the party, our fears become crystallized in amber because they are not tested against reality.’ Having just returned from Sakura season in Japan, along with students, staff, and parents, I’m reminded, yet again, why travel entices me. I admit that I choose very deliberately to forget the discomfort of economy class with its seats that I try to rationalise as being ‘armchairs of the sky’ and ‘the passage to new lands’ (but realistically always far too close together); the obligatory nasal assault of an eggy breakfast before dawn; and the long wending queues filled with

fatigued travellers that miraculously appear upon arrival in a new city – as if it is a surprise to airport staff that three flights, including two A380s arrived as scheduled and were filled with passengers.

Yes, travel is not glamorous for the economy traveller, and, at times, it’s simply hard work. No-one ever says – was it hard? The assumption is that travel is like a glorious event where all runs smoothly, to time, and without any moments of angst. Fortunately, not. Travel is a problemsolving activity; it is often an act of compromise – particularly when travelling with others, and invariably a time of heart-wrenching highs and unexpected lows. Therein lies its richness, a time and place to grow through the juxtaposition of challenge and delight. It is so much like parenting itself. It’s a pity that it often takes significant time or significant kilometres to gain a sense of distance travelled.

We see our journey best, after it is over … when there is time to reflect and time to see ourselves in our own homes, and find that we actually see the world, differently. In the act of exploring the world, we discover something far more precious: ourselves. Yet, if we don’t step out, literally or metaphorically into the unknown, the uncomfortable or the unexplored, then we miss the opportunity for growth: real growth. Similarly, if we pick our children up when it is time to set them down, even with the best of intentions, we deny them the lessons of life competence.

Although … one may well ask, whether riding Death Road, in Bolivia is simply a bridge – [far] too far.

Dr Linda Evans | Principal

REFERENCES

Caron, C. (2023).). ‘Raising Teens Is Hard, Lisa Damour has some answers.’ The New York Times. August 28. 2023 https://www.nytimes. com/2023/08/28/well/mind/teen-anxiety-school-lisa-damour.html?smid=em-share Lahey, J. (2015). ‘The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents

Learn to Let Go

Their Children Can Succeed’. Harper Collins.

photos courtesy of Dr Linda Evans, Principal

Fairholme Open Art Prize facets

In a showcase of talent and cultural heritage, Year 11 Boarder, Kaylah Daniel-Stafford, has once again made a mark in the Fairholme Open Art Prize, exhibiting a captivating painting that represents her cultural heritage from Kowanyama.

Titled ‘Lilies in the Water,’ her piece holds significant personal and cultural meaning for Kaylah, as water lilies, known as ‘Maycheltrukeliy’ in the Kokoberra language, are her totem, given to her by her great-grandmother.

‘My grandmother does paintings as well and I was really inspired by her at a young age, and I want to be as good as her one day,’ Kaylah shared, reflecting on the familial legacy that ignited her passion for art.

Kaylah’s piece stood out among 200 other submissions in the exhibition, earning her the inaugural Student Encouragement Award, a new honour donated and selected by curators Sandy Pottinger and Sue Lostroh, both alumnae of Fairholme College.

‘I put a lot of work into it, many hours, and I can see it hanging in somebody’s home,’ Kaylah remarked with a blend of pride and humility.

Despite her artwork not being sold, she found solace in the thought of gifting it to her great-grandmother, who not only shares her name but also serves as a profound source of inspiration.

‘My grandmother who is an inspiration said she really loved the piece also, and she helps me by telling me stories about my culture which inspires my work and

express it in artistic form,’ Kaylah explained.

Her connection to her culture is palpable in her art, especially in her depiction of the wet season when water lilies bloom among the rivers. ‘It makes me miss home, because during the wet season my dad would take us to drive to see the water lilies,’ she reminisced.

Currently, she is working on a new piece for an upcoming exhibition with her grandmother, focusing on a landscape series that depicts how the country speaks. ‘I really want to pursue my art and be known in the art world.’

Week

From their home Celebrating National Boarders

From their home Celebrating National Boarders Week

Q&

with Film Club’s Mr Stephen Payton

Film Club meets on Thursdays in G25 at 1pm

Tell us about the Fairholme Film Club...

Film Club @ Holme is a group where Senior students can enjoy a regular monthly viewing of a ‘classic’ film and/ or films that have made significant contributions to the art form and then discuss the merits of the work. There are set texts – much like a book club. The viewings will generally occur at the home within a specified timeframe and the girls are encouraged to include their parents/ carers in the learning journey.

Last month, we hosted like-minded students from Toowoomba Grammar School for a discussion of Before Sunrise (1995) by writer-director Richard Linklater. We interweaved philosophy and theory at the beginning for critical thinking and Mr Murfin (TGS) facilitated key discussion topics. Together with the combined cohorts an hour-long discussion was had.

What sorts of movies do you discuss?

The selection of films will focus on coming-of-age themes, female-centric themes, and empowerment, as well as broader social/cultural values and attitudes in our contemporary world. Members must be 15+ to participate in the club for mature themes and more complex discussion topics.

What motivated you to start the FilmClub?

Dr Evans suggested that I could involve my knowledge and skill set in this area with the students at Fairholme.

I have been employed by the Sydney Film Festival and continue to hold my position as the representative for the Toowoomba Travelling Film Festival each year - a position I have held since 2014 - my own independent non-profit business, Nomad Pictures, has been operating from The Strand Cinema for a decade and has shown over 100+ critically-acclaimed films to the Toowoomba Community.

What do you hope the girls gain from Film Club?

The Film Club aims to develop students’:

• creativity, critical thinking, aesthetic knowledge and understanding about arts practices and theory

• knowledge and skills to imagine, observe, express, respond to and communicate ideas and perspectives in meaningful ways

• use of available resources and materials including digital tools

• empathy for multiple perspectives and understanding of personal, local, regional, national and global histories and traditions through the arts

• engagement with the diverse and continuing cultures, arts works and practices of global cultures

Students investigate ways that visual conventions such as framing, cinematography, and editing are manipulated to represent ideas, perspectives, and/or meaning in films created across cultures, times, places, and/or other contexts.

Students unpack the films’ discourse, themes, and dialogue to build upon their existing skills in analysing, interpreting, and creating their own imaginative/academic use of language.

AROUND THE GROUNDS

Andrews Cup Cross Country Champions

Our Junior cross country runners had a smashing day at the Andrews Cup Cross Country, bringing home both the Percentage Cup and the Noel McBride Relay Trophy!

A BIG team effort from all the girls! Special mention to our relay champions, Lucy, Emme and Eden who represented Fairholme with such spirit and determination.

AFL Team Number 1 in the Region

Our Fairholme AFL team made up of girls in Years 10-12, mixed it with the best secondary schools in the region at the AFLQ StreetSmart Darling Downs Secondary Schools Cup.

The girls met Toowoomba Anglican School in the grand final showdown, with Fairholme taking out the final 16-6 and now progressing to the South East Queensland finals in July on the Gold Coast.

Lucia Luhrs was excited to be presented the Player of The Final Medal and Kristen Hurlock (Fairholme AFL Captain) proud to be presented the winning trophy.

Darling Downs Representatives

Congratulations to our latest round of students who have been selected in Darling Downs School Sport teams.

Basketball

10-12 Years: Edi Raymond and Imani Mandikiza

13-16 Years: Lara Ecroyd

Netball

10-12 Years: Indi Chappel and Madeline Moore

13-15 Years: Rubie Emery and Annabel McMaster

16-19 Years: Chloe Anoleck, Simoné Botha, Eadi Bruton, Lucia Luhrs, Tayla Kauter and Amy Williams (DD 16-19 years team captain)

Swimming

10-12 Years: Adeline Martin, Elouise Fraser, Elizabeth Riddle and Savannah SansonMale

13-19 Years: Sarah Adcock, Olivia Fraser, Maggie Geiger, Mackenzie Grimes, Jemima Leslie, Ava Macey, Libby Wormwell and Mackenzie Zimmerle

Touch Football

10-12 Years: Lucy Barnes, Maya Martell and Phoebe Tulilo-Seremaia

13-15 Years: Alara Williams, Amara Clemens, Romy Wilson and Scarlett Sippel Open: Carla Nobbs, Gracie Johnston and Maggie Walker

Swimming Sensations

Our super fish Mackenzie Grimes has done it again, bringing home an incredible five medals from the Queensland School Sport Swimming Championships and qualifying to represent Queensland at Nationals in July!

> Gold in the 50m Backstroke

> Silver in the 100m and 200m Backstroke

> Bronze in the 200 IM and 200 Medley Relay.

Libby Wormwell also had brilliant swims to make two finals, finishing an outstanding 5th in Queensland in the 50m Free and 10th in the 100m Freestyle. Further to this competition, three Fairholme girls qualified for the National Swimming Age Championships that were recently held on the Gold Coast. Ava Macey swam in the 50m Breaststroke, Libby Wormwell in the 50m Freestyle and 50m Breaststroke and Mackenzie Grimes gaining 1st in the 50 Backstroke, 2nd in the 200 Backstroke and 4th in the 100 Backstroke.

Fairholme Dressage and Show Jumping Event

Our Equestrian team saddled up over the weekend for the Annual Fairholme Dressage and Show Jumping competition. Held at the Pittsworth Showgrounds, the event was as a huge success with 22 Fairholme riders competing.

Overall Dressage Results

Intermediate Preliminary:

Champion - Kate Frith

3rd - Ruby Hooper

4th - Kendra MacDonald

6th - Hayley Richter

Secondary Preliminary:

4th - Chloe Bruggemann

6th - Gracie Bunker

Secondary Novice:

Champion - Abbey Gordon

3rd - Geneva Searle

4th - Kaida McDonald

Secondary Elementary:

Champion - Georgie Hill

Secondary Medium:

Champion - Charlotte Ostwald

Secondary Advanced:

Champion - Isabella Ostwald

OVERALL SHOW JUMPING RESULTS

Overall 70cm:

5th - Ruby Hooper

6th - Molly Benson

Overall 80cm:

Champion - Chloe Bruggemann

3rd - Emily Davis

5th - Grace Ward

6th - Heidi Horsley

Overall 90cm:

Champion - Bianca Bruggemann

2nd - Grace Todd

5th - Georgie Hill

6th - Jemima Southwood

Overall 100cm:

2nd - Emily Davis

3rd - Abbey Gordon

4th - Kate Frith

5th - Geneva Searle

Overall 110cm:

3rd - Josephine Ostwald

4th - Annabelle Rogan

6th - Geneva Searle

Overall 120cm:

Champion - Annabelle Rogan

Fantastic effort, team!

Cricket Team of the Year

Current Fairholme College student Lilli Hamilton has been named in the KFC Queensland Premier Cricket Women’s Team of the Year. At the age of 16, she is the youngest to be picked, marking an incredible honor and achievement. Adding to the celebration, former Fairholme students Georgia Voll and Emma Jackson also made the list. This recognition highlights the exceptional talent emerging from Fairholme College and brings great pride to the school community.

World’s Greatest Shave

The Fairholme World's Greatest Shave tally has reached over $63,000!

A record number of girls have bravely signed up to shave, cut or colour their hair in support of the Leukaemia Foundation, continuing the legacy of Fairholme Senior cohorts.

Can you help our Seniors smash their $75,000 fundraising goal? Every dollar you raise will help provide families with practical and emotional support to get them through the many challenges that blood cancer can bring. And you'll power Australia's brightest research minds, bringing us closer to the goal of zero lives lost to blood cancer by 2035.

To donate, head to worldsgreatestshave.com, hit Donate and search for the Fairholme College team.

Darling Downs Cross Country Trials

Our Cross Country team does it again! Our 13-19 Years girls have been crowned the Darling Downs Secondary School Cross Country Overall Champions (by a significant margin!) and our 10-12 Years girls were part of the winning Range Zone team.

Congratulations to our 16 incredible runners finishing Top 6 in their age group. These girls have now earnt selection in the Darling Downs team to compete at the State Championships in July.

10 Years 2km

3rd Eden Broksch

12 Years 3km

1st Lucy Barnes

6th Emme Hall

13 Years 3km

3rd Gemma Sullivan

4th Hannah Barton

6th Sophie McMaster

14 Years 4km

1st Amara Clemens

6th Addison Attrill

15 Years 4km

1st Layla Magarey

2nd Georgia Brassington

4th Immi Allen

16 Years 4km

2nd Julia Wainwright

4th Evie Armstrong

5th Carla Nobbs

17 Years 4km

1st Mackenzi Schefe

18 Years 6km

4th Amelia Ramia

All the best with your training leading into State Championships!

Uniform Update

As shared last year, we are looking forward to introducing an optional winter uniform item for Year 3 to 12 students –long navy pants. We have been caught up with stock issues and anticipate that the pants will be available in the next few weeks. Students are asked to call in to the Holmestore if they wish to place an order. Hopefully, the temperatures will drop, and students will be grateful for the extra warmth! We have also been advised that ties are back in stock.

From Players to Coaches

Jane Newnham and Rori Zimmerman are the coaches of the Under 11’s Netball team that has just begun competing in the Toowoomba Netball Association Saturday competition.

The team is made up of Year 4 and 5 students and, although they didn’t all know each other to begin with, the girls have quickly become good friends.

For some girls in the team this is their first time ever playing netball, but it is evident from just watching a few minutes of their training that these girls are extremely enthusiastic about playing and their coaches can confirm they have been putting in their best effort on and off court.

The girls have been training afterschool once a week since the end of last term and began their grading games two weeks ago. Rori and Jane have already seen

a huge improvement in the girl’s netball skills since their first training and the hard work they have been putting in has really paid off as the girls won their first game last weekend which they celebrated with a classic Fairholme jump and jive.

Jane and Rori are Year 11 students who have both been playing netball at Fairholme for many years, however this is their first time taking up the position of coach.

You can already see they are very dedicated and enthusiastic coaches who the girls look up to and when asked their team was very quick to say they love having Jane and Rori as their coaches.

The team should be looking forward to a good season ahead of them and we wish them and all the other Fairholme netball teams the best of luck as the season continues.

IN THE ARTS

Creative Generations Excellence Awards in Visual Arts

Congratulations to our 2023 Fairholme graduates, Maggie Lattimore and Alyssa MacDonald Smith whose stunning works are on display at Queensland Art Gallery/Gallery of Modern Art until the 25 August!

The girls are two of 37 students selected from 1500 entries of artworks from Year 12 Visual Art students across Queensland.

The exhibition was opened by Education minister, Di Farmer, who spoke of the extraordinary artworks created by students who inspiringly communicated both the head and the heart.

Parenting young people engaged in the digital world

From Head of Faith and Wellbeing,

Cath Butler

Let me tell you a true story about Walker.

Walker was 16, a great kid, actively involved in sport and in his local church youth group.

He was richly connected to others in his wide friendship circle and enjoyed loving relationships with his family. One night in 2022, after a family meal with his parents and siblings that included the usual fun with banter and games, Walker retired to his room to do some schoolwork before heading to bed.

At some point, around 9.30pm, Walker received a direct message from a girl not known to him personally; but, a friend of a friend, apparently. She was cute, fun and flirty and over the next few hours, things turned from friendly, to more.

She convinced him to go on video chat with her and perform a mutual sex act. He went ahead with it; however, it turned out the ‘cute girl’ he’d been talking to was actually a criminal group in Nigeria using a video they lifted from somewhere else. They secretly recorded the whole ordeal and now held his video for ransom. They demanded Walker send money, or they’d release the video to his whole social network. This went on and on, relentlessly. They taunted and hammered him for hours.

What happened next is worth attending to, and you can listen to the podcast containing Walker’s story in the link at the bottom of this article.

We – me included – are pioneering territory that has never been chartered before; we are parenting children engaged in an online world.

The above story and others like it, scare me. But, they also keep me vigilant. They keep me conversing with my kids about all the things that happen in their lives.

They keep me reminding them that NOTHING they ever do is too big for us to solve, together.

They also keep me aware of the need for me to parent them with boundaries around their screen time, to education for and support their wise use of social media and to monitor online activity, accordingly.

Each term, we have sessions across the school by year level on being courageous and kind online, and we continue to work concepts of good digital citizenship into all our programs with your daughters.

However, it is a parenting matter whether our children have devices, how they use them, and what content they access.

This is a space in which we want to

encourage and empower you to remain active.

Whilst many of us understand the behemoth that is the online social world and work with our children to have the Apple or Android family safe features installed on their phones, I encourage you to consider signing your child’s laptop up to Qustodio through the Online Safety Hub in the Parenting Resources section of myFairholme.

The college provides free accounts for parents so that you may be empowered with tools to keep screen time safe and balanced as you journey with your young people towards digital freedom.

Walker’s story is from a podcast episode about Sextortion illustrating ‘how the rising digital threat of sextortion can impact anyone and forever change lives’. You can listen to this episode by searching: BWBRSA Sextortion in Spotify.

New President

Fairholme Father, Jaden Frame, takes on the role of P&F President

As one chapter closes for Fairholme College’s P&F President, another begins.

Jaden Frame steps into the role, succeeding Bronte Smith, whose tenure concludes as his second daughter prepares to graduate later this year.

The Fairholme P&F is integral to enhancing the educational environment for students. Jaden is excited to take on the role of President, ‘I am thrilled to serve as the incoming president and I look forward to working with the College’s Leadership Team, connecting with fellow parents and continuing our shared vision for this great school.’

As a current Fairholme parent to three daughters — Libby (Year 11), Sophie (Year 7), and Zara (Future Fairholme Girl) — Jaden brings a deep-rooted connection to the college. He emphasises the crucial role parents play in shaping their children’s educational journeys and encourages active involvement in

P&F meetings as a means to stay informed and engaged.

The P&F serves as a platform for fostering friendships and networking among parents, facilitating involvement through meeting attendance, event volunteering, fundraising efforts, and a genuine interest in school activities.

Jaden looks forward to seizing the opportunities to collaborate, making a positive impact, and creating lasting memories for the school community.

‘Your participation not only strengthens our community but also allows us to collaborate, share ideas, and work towards common goals that benefit everyone involved. Join us in building a brighter future for our children.’

He extends an invitation to all parents to join in shaping a brighter future for their children by participating in P&F meetings, held on the second Tuesday of each month at 6.30pm during term time.

Real world lessons

Our Senior girls at Fairholme recently had an enlightening experience under the hood of Ms Sharp’s car, where they received a valuable tutorial from Mr Eldridge on tyre changing and oil checking. These hands-on lessons, part of our Thrive curriculum, equip our Senior students with practical skills that extend far beyond the classroom walls.

Under Mr Eldridge’s guidance, our Senior classes delved into essential car maintenance tasks such as changing tyres and inspecting oil levels. By imparting these skills, we aim to ensure that our students leave Fairholme armed with a diverse toolkit, ready to tackle real-world challenges beyond academia. We extend our heartfelt thanks to Ms Sharp and Mr Eldridge for their dedication in imparting these crucial life skills to our students.