Infusion #184: 30 Sept - 14 Oct '12

MUSIC • PEOPLE • LIFE Sept 30th - Oct 14th 2012 l Issue #184 l www.infusion.ae l EST 2005

The King of Latin Pop returns!

Behind the scenes with Enrique Sandance, The real cost of live music, Party Pics, Essential Gig Guide and lots more!

From the Editor’s Desk

Editor-in-chief: Talal Budebs Managing Director: Charl Chaka Editor: Andy Buchan Contributors: Buff Wise GarethIsOnIt Lisa Sant Maddy Butcher Miriam Sweeney Nthayi Tshehle Pan-Arabia Enquirer

So, just casually glancing through the events calendar, and it seems Dubai is booming more than ever.

The dXb Music Festival is followed

by Sandance, which is followed by the returning Atelier festival and Bike Week featuring Megadeth and Razorlight, which in turn is preceded by our cover star this issue, Enrique. Then the action moves to Abu Dhabi for the Grand Prix (and its after-parties featuring Kylie and Eminem), before making the trip back up Highway 1 for another round of Sandance, with the Swedish House Mafia hot on their heels. Oh, and then it’s J-Lo and Gotye and then we find ourselves at the end of November.

Which is all great news for the music fan in the city, re-enforcing the boom or bust cycle the city goes through as summer breaks into notquite-so-summer. And we’ll be there every step of the way, bringing you the news, the latest line ups and behindthe-scenes gossip. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to cover it…

Andy

Design: Allan (Jmaxlolo) Tinsay Grown-up stuff: Infusion is published by Milehigh Media, llc. www.milehighmedia.ae PO Box 54334 Dubai, UAE Contact us: Tel/Fax: 04 368 8098 Advertising: vip@infusion.ae 050 169 8712 Editorial: andy@infusion.ae 055 882 5675

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dxb Festival, October 5th

Looking

BACK Retrospective on what’s been happening in our world.

> What we did > Photo Gallery

Looking Back

What we did

audio tonic pre party @ 360

Expect the unexpected goes the old adage, and it’s one that would have been at the forefront of audio tonic and the 360 team’s mind as they re-opened after a summer refurb, tweaking the upstairs and adding a completely new second room downstairs. The unexpected came with the news that only 360 resident Tristan Bain could play on the night, and he did a sterling job, dropping a 9 hour marathon set peaking with the funky house classic ‘Thrill Me’ by Junior Jack and Kid Creme.

The rest was plain sailing as normal as the venue filled up quickly, while the downstairs room — a smart, cocktail-esque mix of dark purples and marble floors — was packed from the start thanks to the late September heat. Come October 11 and the official re-launch with Hernan Cattaneo, expect more of the same for one of the best venue’s in the world.

We went…

To the Pioneer DJ Championships at N’Dulge to check out the latest line of talent in Dubai, including — amazingly enough — a 7 year old kid in the Under 21 division. We’ll bring you the results in the next issue…

Meydan Beach Club opening

For a city dominated by sand, it’s sometimes surprising that there isn’t more variety in beach clubs. But the Meydan Beach Club on JBR is as unique as they come. Not only does it have one of the prime locations in the city at the heart of JBR, stumbling distance from thousands of sun-worshipers, it’s also pitching itself as the high end alternative. And the Dhs500 day fee reflects that, as does the impressive Italian restaurant, fully-equipped spa and gym and range of pools, not to mention the pristine expanse of sand at the front. The bar is open to all on the guestlist after 6pm, however, making this a very viable sundowner destination. On top of that, Pierre Ravan takes control of the soundtrack every Friday and Saturday until midOctober with his renowned sunset sessions, making this one of the city’s latest hot spots.

Looking Back

1234567

Say What

0103020

Dancefloor dictionary Ex-Traktor fan: Term to describe a DJ who’s moved away from Native Instruments’ Traktor to Serato.

Short and tweet twitter.com/DJsComplaining Not so much a direct tweet, but a series of tweets as this tongue in cheek account reTweets DJs who take to Twitter to moan. Very, very funny.

Money talks Dhs100,000/month - According to a recent report, some bankers in Dubai are taking home in excess of Dhs100,000 a month, despite the recent economic problems.

8206969

Spot the difference One is a notorious cross-dressing basketball star, the other is a martial arts expert, the other is Infusion’s Nthayi — but can you tell who’s who?

Old Jokes Home Me and the missus went to a restaurant last night. Some of the other diners called me “paedo” and “cradle snatcher”. All because I’m 52 and she’s 21...

It was tense.

Winning smile The recently ended Edinburgh festival is usually good for a laugh, here are some of the best…

Stewart Francis: “You know who really gives kids a bad name?

Posh and Becks.” Will Marsh: “I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.”

George Ryegold: “Pornography is often frowned upon, but that’s only because I’m concentrating.”

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dxb Festival, October 5th

Looking FORWARD Where we filter out the best things that are coming your way...

> Local News > Cover Story > Beats on the Beach > Music and Money

Looking Forward

Local News Get your Yasalam on

The Formula 1 parties this year have a strong hip hop flavour already thanks to the closing performance of Eminem, but the side-show Yasalam concerts have followed the 'Stan' star's lead, with Missy Elliott and Cee-Lo Green of Gnarls Barkley fame both booked to play Abu Dhabi's Al Sahil Beach over November 1 and 2. Rather oddly, Melanie C has been pulled out of retirement to play live, but seeing as she was the only Spice Girl who could feasibly hold a tune, maybe we shouldn't be too disgruntled. There's also a strong local element, with Juliana Down, Tamer Hosny, Maya Diab and Claria De Quiroz also added to the bill. Head to yasalam.ae for more.

Middle East musical

The Fridge are behind much of what is good and innovative in the local music and arts scene, and they've come good once more with their Kalubel show at the Madinat Theatre. An 'explosive, singing, dancing aerial extravaganza,' the near two hour long show is an East-meets-West musical with strong Arabic and Turkish themes, and features some of the brightest local talent including recent Infusion interviewee Rachael Calladine.

The 4 night run starts on October 3, head to thefridgedubai.com for more information.

Back to the 90s

Nostalgia is big business, and in Dubai, business is good. And retro line ups don't get much bigger than the Mix Tape Rewind line up from the Sundance crew (not to be confused with the Atlantis mega-parties of similar name) as Haddaway, Culture Beat, Snap, La Bouche, No Mercy, Go West and Ace of Base's Jenny Berggren rewind the clock a couple of decades. It all takes place at the Emirates Golf Club on Friday November 16, with tickets Dhs275.

Looking Forward Top gear

Rock and metal are big news in Dubai, and Megadeth are one of their biggest exponents. So it's fair to say their booking at this year's Bike Week has got the hard rockers more excited than a squirrel on a trampoline.

The heavy metal American rock band are joined by UK indie band Razorlight and US pop rockers Daughtry on the bill, while Absolace, Juliana Down and Sandwash will also be playing live at the Festival City event, running from the 18th-20th October. Head to gulfbikeweek.com for more info.

Flexing his passport It was already a strong line up with American big hitters Kaskade and Far East Movement abetted by Afrojack, but the dXb Music Festival can now boast more of a UK flavour as charttopping grime, hip hop and 'Wearing My Rolex' star Wiley has been announced to play the October 5 festival. It all takes place at Dubai Festival City, with tickets starting from Dhs350.

Oktober fest

Few things get our taste buds tickling more than a cold one on a hot day - which means we're pretty excited by this year's Oktoberfest at the Dubai Cricket Stadium. The popular one-day festival returns to Dubai, with plenty of German ales on offer, alongside hugely popular German band Die Derbys, who'll be on hand to drop Bavarian party songs long into the night, while there's also a bull riding contest. Entry is Dhs100, and it takes place from 7pm on Friday October 5.

Looking Forward Point of View

Even the mad cap rants and stage antics of Axl Rose can't diminish Guns'n'Roses standing in the rock and roll pantheon, so when local band Point of View get endorsed by Ron Bumblefoot Thal, the Roses' current guitar player, you know something good is about to happen. And that something good is the band's debut album, which they're launching on Wednesday October 3 at the Hard Rock Cafe, with Ron flying in to perform as well.

Rumours

Macy Gray has confirmed that she'll be playing live in Dubai in December.

We can confirm that the Swedish House Mafia are to play in Dubai on November 16 at the World Trade Centre.

Above and Beyond have been pencilled in to play Dubai on Thursday November 8.

Get behind the Liquid Gold Glam Gala at The Address Montgomerie, a charity ball raising money for Unicef, with Infusion favourite Tim Cheddar on deck duty on Friday October 5. glamgala.ae The Infusion Youtube channel has racked up over 200,000 views, which — by our slightly skewed maths — means one in 10 people in Dubai have seen them. Skills!

Big ups to Dubai DJ Emtee who recently played the Cavalli fashion show in Milan, alongside LMFAO and Flo Rida!

People trying to send us faxes. It's 2012 yo, we're all about the carrier pigeon now…

So, the Rick Ross fiasco was on, then off, then on again, before finally collapsing in a disorganised heap.

Word to promoters: if it ain't signed, sealed and delivered, don't shout about it.

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of Latin Pop returns

It's big event season — if you didn't already know — and they don't come much bigger than Enrique Iglesias, a man who's sold more than a hundred million records and toured the world several times over. Ahead of his Friday October 26 concert at the Trade Centre, we delved into his past to bring you his biggest and best quotes

On his schedule I don’t sleep much. It takes me a long time to fall asleep. I’m a bit of an insomniac but, when I fall asleep, I don’t ever want to wake up. My record label and people lie to me about timings.

They tell me things are going to be two hours earlier because I’m always late.

On screaming fans It’s good. It means things are going well. It maybe bothers me when I’m eating but I’ll miss the day when nobody comes up to me and asks me for an autograph.

On being naked Yes, I did go water-skiing naked in Miami after Spain won the World Cup. But it’s not a big deal because my friends and I used to water ski naked all

the time when we were 16 or 17. I wouldn’t go naked around the house though because my housekeeper would probably feel awkward. I’m not comfortable being naked anyway, I’ve got chicken legs!

On the changing music industry The only thing I have no control over is the politics that goes on within the record company. It’s always been the same, but it’s far tougher now, because record companies are run by financial people; before, they were run by creative people. Look at the career of someone like Bruce Springsteen, who broke on his third or fourth album.

Nowadays, if you don’t break on your first single, you’re f*****.

On making money I don’t mind being a brand and the reason it it doesn’t affect me is that I’m able to separate Enrique Iglesias the brand from Enrique Iglesias. What I do mind is feeling like a piece of meat.

The one thing I’ve learned in the last ten years is that successful artists don’t get paid to write and sing songs, they get paid for the psychological roller coaster they’re going to have to ride.

That’s the hard work.

On love songs It’s the thing we all have in common.

Ninety percent of music tackles that subject because everyone—no matter how old, what religion, or what nationality—knows those feelings.

On his father’s fame I remember there were these two guys who worked with him who would never even watch his show, but afterward they were at his dressing room saying, “Man, that’s the best show I’ve ever seen you do.” In showbiz, it’s easy to be surrounded by people who tell you everything is great, and as a little kid, I developed a sixth sense about those people. It gave me a tremendous psychological advantage.

Enrique Iglesias, Friday October 26, World Trade Centre, 7pm, tickets from Dhs295, enriquedubai.com

WIN!

To get your hands on some tickets to see Enrique in action, head to facebook.com/infusionmagazine.

The air is cooling, the humidity is melting away and that faint echo you can hear in the background is the dull thrum of Dubai's big gigs wheeling into motion. And leading from the front is Sandance which returns with its most varied line up since it began doing the Parklife gigs and stopping off in Dubai and then we’re playing Qatar.

DJ Fresh

Good afternoon, how’s things?

Sorry if I sound a bit confused, I just had someone from a similar number ring me and ask if I could fit any carpets. I didn’t even have time to say yes or no before they hung up!

We knew you were versatile, but that’s taking things a bit far we assume… Where have you been playing recently?

I’ve just got back from doing Mallorca and Ibiza Rocks, two of my favorite gigs at the moment. We’re touring the live show Australia in September,

How long did you consider the Grooverider story before saying yes?

I definitely think it’s had a massive effect on the DJ scene and the tourist scene as well in the UK. A lot of people said they’d they’d never go to Dubai after hearing that story [Grooverider was caught with cannabis at the airport]. It’s weird as it’s a very mixed city, it’s a very traditional old world mixing with a new attitude, hi-tech forward thinking.

Apparently, Grooverider met a guy in prison jailed for doing press ups on the beach apparently his crime was he was making love to the sand!

Beats on

Where were you when you heard ‘Louder’ had gone to number 1?

(After a long pause) I can’t remember where I was actually, It’s been such a whirlwind, I would have been running around. I was blown away, really really grateful to everyone that supported. I think for me, it wouldn’t have been such a milestone if I didn’t believe it was such a massive sign of change for the genre. The whole reason I’ve done DnB is that I’ve always believed it could have that impact. DnB has always been very guarded about being underground, and I’ve always been someone to to push it further and make it more popular.

And how do you see yourself fitting into the Sandance line up?

It’s a very diverse line up out there. Funnily enough, I’ve just collaborated with The Fray on my album. It’s kind of rock meets hip hop meets dustup, inspired by Aerosmith vs Run DMC. We wouldn’t do it live out there though, we’ve not had the

chance to rehearse it. As for the set, I play across the board, I play everything - I’ve got this mish mash sound, I mash up everything around bass music, it’s just a big crazy party set.

Krafty Kuts

You’re no stranger to these shores, what have been the memorable gigs in Dubai to date?

I’ve had so many great shows in Dubai at various clubs but the one that stands out was about 4 years ago at Alpha. The sound system was heavy, the place was jam-packed and I met my future wife and we now have a beautiful 2 year old son. So perfect comes to mind.

the beach

The breaks scene has fragmented in the last 5 years or so — where do you see yourself in the DJ/club scene?

I play music for the people, I am not into being labeled - I play Breaks, Drum n Bass, Hip Hop, Glitch, Dubstep, Electro and more, so I am multi genre. I love DJing and will always move with the times so I see myself where I have always been, an entertainer!

People might not know me now, but they will.

You’re an excellent DJ — do you still have to work at your skills? And how has technology affected what you do?

Always, I sit down for hours planning, programming and putting together ideas to enhance my DJ set. I am not really into crazy visuals, and other gimmicks to enhance my DJ skills, just 4 CDJs an 800 DJM mixer.

You’re half Saudi and Turkish - obviously you wouldn’t be enjoying the success you have if you lived in Saudi, how does that make you feel?

I believe music has a universal character and you cannot assume one’s birthplace will take away the artists “success” or ambition as that’s our prerogative. For anyone to assume otherwise, would be an uneducated thought that I cannot entertain.

Omar Basad

You’re one of the few names that people might not know on the line up - who are you and what do you do to people who might not know?

I’m a 23 year old Saudi/ Turkish Electronic Dance Music Producer. Hard to believe isn’t it? I will let people decide when they hear my sound officially at Sandance. It’s all about the vibe. Ravers and EDM fans know what I am talking about.

Your bio says you want to be the Tiesto of the Middle East — how far onto achieving that dream are you?

It was a Middle Eastern magazine said that, not really me. I suppose it’s because I have bigger dreams than just being an artist in the Middle East.

Sandance, Atlantis, Friday October 12, 2pm-2am, Dhs275 advance, Dhs300 on the door, Tables 055 2004321

WIN!

We have 1 pair of normal tickets, and 1 pair of tickets with a meet and greet with The Fray to give away. Head to the Infusion Facebook fan page for details on how to enter.

Dubai 2012

Celebrate in true Bavarian style with a feel of Munich at Dubai International Stadium, Dubai Sports City Friday, 5th October from 7PM till 2AM An evening full of fun with delicious German food & drinks Live entertainment with original Oktoberfest Band “Die Derbys”, coming all the way from Munich & DJ Sabrina Terence Ticket Prices:

(Strictly 21+)

Tickets available at:

Theresienwiese (Standard) : AED 100 Stammtisch (VIP) : AED 175 FOR TABLE RESERVATION:  055 8645 954  events@dxbsport.com

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Music and Money Ever wondered why the city doesn't have more of a live music scene? Infusion goes behind the scenes to bring you the real cost of putting on live music‌

The band: An up-andcoming band will charge anywhere upwards of Dhs50,000 just for their fee, while you’ve then got all the flights and hotels to consider.

If you move up the scale, bands like The xx could charge something like Dhs500,000, while pop stars like Adele and Kanye West will be into the millions. DJ fees are generally more affordable (and come with less flights and hotel rooms). Expect to spend anywhere from Dhs6,000 for an up-and-coming DJ like Disclosure to Dhs75,000 for the likes of Sasha to millions of dirhams for acts like David Guetta and Deadmau5.

Permissions: Every artist, DJ, band member needs a license to perform, and they cost roughly Dhs1500 each per person, per venue, per night.

Most venues will pick this up, but if you’re trying to book 3 bands, that's maybe 15 people and about Dhs45,000 which is a lot of money before you even consider buying the...

Flights: Most bands come with 2-3 backline staff minimum, on top of the 3-5 band members. Most will want to fly premium economy, some will even have it in their contract that they fly business while the rest of the tech crew are in the back of the plane.

Flight prices fluctuate, but on average you’re looking at Dhs3,500 return per flight.

Hotels: With nearly all venues part of a hotel, some will offer up free or discounted hotel packages to your acts.

But most will stipulate 5* hotels (especially when the agent sees it’s Dubai) and most will want their own rooms. So that’s 6-8 rooms x 3 nights, with an average of Dhs400 per night if you are paying. And you’ve got to feed the bands - and take them out on the town - so you’ll need a food allowance of Dhs200 per day per person, not to mention the lasting power of an Olympic athlete. And while the rockstar throwing a TV out of the window cliche might not be as true as it once was, the rockstar being sick over the side of the bed and the promoter having to pick up the costs isn’t.

Promotion: You might have booked U2, but you still need to tell people so that you stand any hope of paying back Bono’s bill. Advertising can be expensive out here, so you’ll need to spend a lot of your budget on that - the cheapest full page ad in Time Out will set you back Dhs20,000 per issue, whereas our prices start at Dhs3,542. Social media will get you so far, but you need to hit the mass market to have any hope.

Crowd: Unlike the UK or in Europe, there’s a not the same student population who thrive on live, new music as it’s a strict 21+ drinking age. So that means you’re generally pitching to the 21-40 age group, which then alters what sort of bands you’re going for. And with limited music and radio opportunities (in terms of breaking new music), you can’t rely on journalists to break new bands.

Unless of course you consider Bryan Adams a new band, in which case you’re all good.

Venue: Is key. Most venues only see the bottom line and bringing a DJ, which is one flight and one room, is a lot cheaper than a band, and will probably bring in just as much revenue.

The venue has to have a soundsystem that can cope with live music (rare) and it has to be in the right part of town after the shift to New Dubai. There are some exceptions (the Music Room being an excellent one) but location, location, location is key. The DTCM also take 10% of all the ticket sales, and 10% of all the bar takings, which on big events where the bar makes over Dhs500,000 during the night, can be pretty lucrative.

The setup: Guitars, drums and microphones, right?

Wrong. Monitors, specific amps, keyboards, miles of cables,

guitars and bass guitars (as the band might not bring their own to save on shipping costs for you), a specific sound desk, the right lighting, blue M&Ms etc.

And the bigger the band, the bigger the technical rider, and the more headaches and hoops you’ll have to jump through - a basic set up for a 2,000 capacity gig might be Dhs50,000. Some venues will charge a flat fee for their venue, some will take the bar takings, leaving the promoter to make their money from the ticket sales only and some bigger venues even try to take a slice of both pies, forcing promoters to bring even more commercial names in a bid to make their targets.

UK agent: They’ll give you UK/US prices. So if there’s a buzz about them in their home country, they’ll put their prices up, and when they see Dubai, they’ll raise them again. It doesn’t matter that they’ve not broken through to radio in Dubai, or their album isn’t stocked in Virgin. Plus, bands don’t come to Dubai to further their career, it’s not part of an accepted tour (apart from if they stop off on the way to/ from Australia) and if they’re doing it right, they’ll have plenty of offers that don’t involve a 7 hour flight and a 2 hour wait at customs. They’ll

come for a big pay packet, or if you pitch it right, a decently paid holiday — but neither of them come cheap.

And finally, you’ve got an immense amount of competition. Yes, there might not be much live music compared to where you’ve come from or what you’re used to, but consider our recent guests: in the next few months, there’s the dXb Music Festival, Sandance, the Atelier Festival, the Formula 1 weekend, Swedish House Mafia, Enrique Iglesias, J-Lo, Gotye and many more, with at least one big event happening every weekend. Then you’ve got the regular club nights, with thousands packed into Trilogy/360/Chi/N’Dulge/XL every weekend.

And that’s not to mention the general antipathy and malaise that Dubai finds itself when it comes to live music.

While it might be a passion for a lot of people, to some, it’s just another distraction, like another night out at your local...

That said, book the right band and you’ll create the right buzz and, hopefully, you’ll break even on the night. And you’ll be left with a crowd singing along as one, which makes all the soundchecks, agent hassles and hard work worth it...

On a brighter note...

It’s not all doom and gloom, however, as there are some excellent nights/events in town pushing live music…

The Mu s Hotel B ic Room, Ma jestic u US pu r Dubai n Lips ha k group The B v Bur Du e just playe lack d the bai ven reside ue, wh n best in t band are o ile the ne the bu siness of the .

Sandance, Atlantis Snow Patrol, Exam ple and Richard Ashc roft have supplied the live music kicks at this one-day fes tival, with plenty more to come in November and on NYE.

eek Dubai Bike W p Razorlight ou UK indie gr er 19 as part of ob play on Oct ity event, while C al tiv es F e eth th group Megad . heavy metal ay pl to rmed are also confi

ARTY GUIDE

We’ve tweaked the listings, and give one-off events preference.

For a full list of what’s on, please head to infusion.ae. Please submit your listings to andy@infusion.ae for possible inclusion.

ON THE THE RADAR ON RADAR Avicii, Sandance beach, Oct 18 Bike Week feat. Megadeth, Festival

Yas Island, Nov 2-4

Maxxi Soundsystem,

Sandance, Atlantis, Nov 9 Mixtape Rewind 90s party,

Atelier Festival, Meydan, Oct 19 Enrique Iglesias, Oct 26 Kylie, Nickelback, Eminem,

Gotye, Trade Centre, Nov 21 J-Lo, Media City, Nov 22 Creamfields, Dec 7

City, Oct 18-20

audio tonic, Oct 19

Monday 1 Oct Manic Mondays, Zinc

Greg Stainer and Andy Swift play old and new skull anthems, with a 10pm-midnight happy hour. 10pm-3am, ladies and couples free. Weekly.

Emirates Golf Course, Nov 16

Overseers, Amika

The Dubai talent collective present DJ Salvo, F1 and Taleen live on the night.

10pm-3am.

Retro Tuesdays, Silk

Monday Night Funnies, Blends

Core 304 provide the ladies’ nights party tunes, with free drinks for ladies all night.

9pm-3am.

RnB Mondays, Velvet Underground

Free cocktails from 10pmmidnight, and tunes courtesy of Stephane Karl. Weekly.

Dubomedy host this weekly comedy night. 9pm, guestlist via lol@vivadubai.com Weekly.

No.1 Events presents Shero and Brooklyn on urban duties.

10pm-3am. Weekly.

RnB Anthems, Sensation Dev Master and DJ Badir are joined by MC Money Plus at this Urban weekly. 10.30pm3am, buy-one get one free bottles all night.

Tuesday 2

INFUSION PICK! MoFunk, Blends

The popular funk, soul and disco night returns, with free drinks for ladies. 8pm-late.

Uber Tuesdays, Sho Cho

Wednesday 3 Dirt crew, calabar

Dirt Crew’s James Flavor drops deep, dirty disco. 8pm-late, repeated nightly until Friday.

Diamond Wednesdays, Boudoir

Radio 1’s Brooklyn and DJ Shero on the urban soundtrack, with free Diamond cocktails for ladies until 1am. 9pm-late.

Weekly.

Glitz, Alegra

The former C-Bar at the Al Murooj Rotana hosts a mid-

week night aimed at high end clubbers. 10pm-3am.

INFUSION PICK!

Kalubela, Madinat Theature

night long. 10pm-3am, ladies and couples free entry until midnight. Weekly.

Club Anthems, Zinc

Greg Stainer and the rest of the Zinc crew drop chart bombs. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

Middle East meets West musical, staring some of the city’s best talents. 8pm.

Repeated nightly until October 6.

Deep Crates, Casa Latina

Mingle, Left Bank (Souq Al Bahar & Madinat Jumeirah)

Hypnotique, Silk

Dhs5 cocktails for ladies (no, really) from 8pm-late.

Point of View Album Launch, Hard Rock Cafe Impressive local rock band launch their debut album.

7pm-late.

The Ultimate Ladies Night, Zinc

Think Twice, Mansion

Afroboogie heads up this mid-week shindig at the new Melia Hotel club. 10pm-late.

Thursday 4 Aks, Velvet Underground

Commercial, Desi, house and Bollywood from DJ/Producer Aks. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

Bollywood Party, Sensation

Desi and Bollywood hits all

Psy-trance and edgy visuals from the popular monthly party, with Neuromotor headlining. 10pm-3am.

i2, Habtoor Grand

Cheesy but fun 80s and 90s anthems from start to sweaty finish. 10pm-3am. Weekly Thursday and Friday.

Jamrock, Sublime

Reggae and Caribbean vibes from a revolving roster of Dubai’s best urban DJs. 9pm3am, ladies free before 12am.

Weekly.

MustHaveSoul, 360

The funky, soulful team return, with the residents in charge of the new two-level club. 6pm-3am, free.

Our Own feat.

Steve Lawler, N’Dulge

Big room, anthemic house and techno from the VIVA record label head honcho.

10pm-3am, women free before midnight, Dhs100.

Republique, The Address, Dubai Mall

Alternative party anthems at this perma-packed downtown club. 10pm-3am. Weekly Thursday and Friday.

PARTY GUIDE

One of the most popular ladies nights in town, with free bubbly for ladies before 1am, and house, electro and hip hop. 10pm-late. Weekly.

Ladies free, men Dhs75 after midnight.

Funk, hip hop and B Boy breaks. 10pm-3am, free.

Weekly.

ARTY GUIDE

INFUSION PICK! Vision Quest, Trilogy

Deep, funky house from two of the hard-hitting America quartet. 10pm-3am, Dhs100.

What da Funk, Chameleon

Stu Laurie and Ice-BeG drop funky, chunky house.

10pm-3am.

Liquid Gold Glam Gala, Montgomerie Address

Charity gala in aid of Unicef, with Tim Cheddar on deck duty. 7.30pm-late, glamgala.ae

Local Legends, XL

The Habtoor pool club reopens after a refurb, with 10 of the city’s local DJs playing.

12pm-3am.

Never Get Out The Boat, Jebel Ali Hotel

audio tonic, 360

Bouncy deep house and nu-disco from Matt Charles and friends. 2pm-6pm, info@ matthewcharles.com for g-list.

Connoisseur, Velvet Underground

One of the city’s leading urban nights continues its weekly Friday night residency at the Atlantis superclub. 10.30pm3am, ladies free before midnight, Dhs100 after. Weekly.

Friday 5 The much loved brand returns, with deep house and tech upstairs and house party tunes in the brand new second room. 4pm-3am, free.

Sophisticated urban soundtrack. 10pm-3am.

Weekly.

Disco Station, The Music Room

Classic 70s disco, with fancy dress encouraged. 9.30pm3am, Dhs60.

INFUSION PICK! dXb Music Festival, Festival City

Afrojack, Far East Movement and Kaskade headline this 2 stage, one-day electronic music festival. 2pm-late, Dhs350.

ZOUK / SALSA FRIDAYS, Eurasia

Jmaxlolo, DJ Kroft and resident DJ Amok spice up the floor with zouk and modern salsa. Carlton Tower Hotel, Diera. Weekly.

No.1 Fridays, N’Dulge

INFUSION PICK!

Oktoberfest, Dubai Cricket Stadium

Live Bavarian music, bull-riding contests, and of course, lots of traditional German beers. 7pm, Dhs100.

Onda, Casa Latina

A night of Brazilian, funk, Argentinian tango and more from this Deep Crates off-shoot.

10pm-3am.

Step On, Catwalk

New and old indie at this long-running monthly night.

9pm-3am, free.

Trilogy Fridays

Dany Neville, the Radio 1 and urban/hip hop DJ takes over for his weekly packed-out sessions.

10pm-3am, Dhs100. Weekly.

Saturday 6 411, People By Crystal

The award-winning urban night returns with DJ Bliss and Shef Codes. 10pm-3am.

Destination, Zinc

UK Garage, Funky house and urban with Richie D and Mister Ash. 10pm-3am.

Weekly.

Entra Mi Casa, 360

Funk, soul and Latinflavoured house music at this bi-monthly wind-down. 4pm2am, free.

Saturday Session, Amika

Sam Farsio drops deep funky nu-disco at this new Saturday night. 8pm-late. Weekly.

Monday 8 Sain & Friends, The Fridge

Wednesday 10 Shock The World, Desert Fish Studio, Al Serkal Avenue

Sain, Dany Neville and more provide the beats and bass at this G-Shock launch party. 8pm.

Thursday 11 Deep Crates, Casa Latina

Hip hop, soul and funk at this long-running weekly night with great drink deals. 10pm-3am.

Hernan Cattaneo, 360 The Argentinian deep house and progressive star kickstarts the new 360 era, with support from Raxon. 6pm2am, free.

Art Department, Trilogy

Deep, sleazy house and tech-house from the Canadian stars. 10pm-3am, Dhs100.

N’Dulge

The residents are on hand to deliver electro, house and RnB across the 2 rooms.

10pm-3am, women free before midnight, Dhs100.

Pulse

Live drums over an electro and house soundtrack. 10pm3am, ladies free.

Friday 12

INFUSION PICK!

Sandance, Atlantis The Fray, Example, Krafty Kuts, Frankie Knuckles and many more do the honours at this ever-popular beach party.

2pm-2am, Dhs300.

Saturday 13 411, People by Crystal Hip hop, RnB and dubstep from the . 10pm-3am.

Saturday Showcase, 360

The best of the local DJ and live talent at this bi-monthly Saturday event. 4pm-late, free.

PARTY GUIDE

Up-and-coming Emirati hip hop act Sain takes centre stage at the Fridge. 8pm, Dhs50.

INFUSION PICK!

dxb Festival, October 5th

Look AND

LISTEN Music be the food of love, so read on...

> Music News > Album Reviews > DJ Booth > Soundstage > DJ Top 10

Look and Listen

Music News...

Dubai Drug Cop Calls for Hypnotic Music Ban

Dr Sarhan Al Meheini, deputy director of the Police Sciences Academy in Sharjah, this week called for authorities to treat ‘binaural beats’ the same as ecstasy and cannabis, meaning listeners could soon face mandatory jail sentences if cops find audio files on their phones or computers.

“It’s important that we warn the public and start a campaign to make people aware of it,” Dr Al Meheini told the National.

“Right now it’s not illegal but it should be, because it’s a danger to society,” he warned.

While the National pointed out that there was is no scientific evidence to support the Doctor’s claims, his plea matched those of drug cops in the States who several years earlier identified the music files as ‘gateway drugs’.

“We want parents to be aware of what sites their kids are visiting and not just dismiss this as something harmless on the computer,” Mark Woodward from the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics Dangerous Drugs told Newson6 in 2010, adding, “If you want to reach these kids, save these kids and keep these kids safe, parents have to be aware.”

Diamond Tears Edge Headphones, today more than ever, are about style. And the latest output from the Monster stable, aimed squarely at women, could be considered their most stylish to date. Designed to resemble jewelry, the angular, opaque headphones have a multicoloured pearleffect and have a slightly bulky tear-drop shape.

They come with a

universal cable so you can switch between music and an in-coming call, and have an on-ear design. Sound-wise, they’re what you come to expect from Monster, which also produces the Beats by Dre range: big, bold, bassy sound with a powerful middle. But with looks this bold, your decision on whether to part with Dhs1,400 is largely going to be based on the headphone design… Available from all leading stores.

kick ass sushi and knockout bevies at sho cho modern japanese restaurant & lounge

Dubai Marine Beach Resort & Spa, Jumeirah, Dubai +971 4 3461111 Souk Qaryat Al Beri (Shangri La Hotel) Abu Dhabi +971 2 5581117 Characters reproduced with the kind permission of huckgee.com

Look and Listen Vegas Hails Naked Prince Harry

Las Vegas tourism officials placed full-page adverts in newspapers urging Prince Harry to ‘Keep Calm and Carry on’, after the British royal was photographed frolicking naked with Vegas party girls in a luxury hotel suite. Referencing the gambling and sex resort’s best known marketing motto ‘What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ one advert carried the hashtag #knowthecode while another explicitly condemned whoever sold pictures of the prince to gossip news sites. “For shame! To those who traded in their pledge to their Las Vegas brethren, we deplore you!” the USA Today advert declared. A new video is set to emerge showing Harry in even more compromising situations, which the site speculated could become ‘the biggest Royal scandal ever.’ “Things got pretty crazy in Prince Harry’s suite that night,” an anonymous eyewitness told the site.

Taliban Behead 17 Afghan Revellers

Fundamental Islamic killers are believed to have beheaded 17 people at a village music festival in Helmand Province, Afghanistan last weekend, as punishment for their victims listening to music and engaging in ‘mixed-sex dancing’.

Press reports said the assassins also shot their victims though a local government publicist said it was unclear whether the victims were decapitated before or after being shot.

“I can confirm that this is the work of the Taliban,” said Daoud Ahmadi, the spokesman for Helmand’s provincial governor, “Two women and 15 men were beheaded. They were partying with music in an area under the control of the Taliban.”

Though The Sun said the Taliban later denied responsibility, the savage murders happened less than a week after a Taliban leader vowed to hunt down revellers in neighbouring Pakistan.

“Men and women who dance together are damned by God,” the Taliban chief declared, adding “whenever we see such displays of vulgarity we will definitely make them a target.”

THE AWARD-WINNING SEE YOU NEXT FRIDAY TEAM

FRIDAYS

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MAGAZINE

Look and Listen

Album Reviews...

Pet Shop Boys - Elysium

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In a gesture towards modernity, the Pet Shop Boys have chosen to work with Kanye West’s producer Andrew Dawson on Elysium, their 11th studio album. And although his influence is clear in the slick, polished production, the duo didn’t haven’t strayed far from their trademark synth pop style.

Elysium is a warm and optimistic album, although Tennant’s trademark cynicism is palpable in ‘Ego Music’, an obvious dig at the arrogance of the modern music industry. And ‘Your Earlier Stuff’, which is a witty pastiche of cabbie’s comments over the years, bounces along energetically, underpinned by Lowe’s steady baseline.

Although not particularly ground-breaking, Elysium is an example of Pet Shop Boys’ ability to make fun and relevant electro pop; Tennant’s introspective lyrics are complimented by the smooth beats that haven’t changed much since their 90s peack. And album closer, ‘Requiem in Denim and Leopardskin’ again proves Tennant’s lyrical mastery, in a nod to their three decades in the business.

Miriam Sweeney

DD Foxx - Had To Be Me

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There have been several cultural phenomena in the last century, but surely one of the biggest is the unstoppable, juggernaut rise and rise of pop music. And DD Fox’s debut album sits fairly and squarely in the pop music category. Yes, she might be a glamorous Saudi born, Dubai based, Lebanese artist, but this is global, current pop by numbers. As such, it’s full of generic box ticking — big electro, Swedish House Mafia number? See album opener, ‘Raise The Roof’. Crisp hip hop beats and bass track laden with vocal gymnastics? Sure, head to ‘Bad For Me.’ And downtempo ivory tinkling number that could have been recorded any time in the last 30 years? Yup, all on ‘Sorry.’

What DD Fox and her team have done very, very well, is take the current pop album template and update it from a Middle East vantage point. It’s crisp, polished and sounds like a Lebanese Lady Ga Ga (which judging by the press pics, is something her team are well aware of). But next time, we’d like to see a bit more individuality, a little more flourish and a little less pop pandering to make it really stand out.

Andy Buchan

Look and Listen ALBUM BITES Two Door Cinema Club Beacon

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Northern Irish three piece occupy a quaint place in the music world whimsical, folky electro pop. And it’s a fairly successful one - this, their second album, rocketed to the top of the charts in the UK, while they’ve had a big festival season.

Sonically, this treads the same ground as their 2010 debut album, Tourist History.

The sing-song vocals are as catchy as ever, as are the dueling guitars and punchy percussion, making this another euphoric, head-rush of a calling card for the band.

The Heavy - The Glorious Dead

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Oddly bigger in American and across the world than in their native UK, dirty funk four piece The Heavy could turn that around with their 3rd album. While it might not have the frenzied pop perfection of their calling card track, ‘How Do You Like Me Now,’ it does have the heavy orchestral rush of lead single ‘Can’t Play Dead,’ while ‘What Makes A Good Man’ is the British equivalent of The Black Keys, which is high praise indeed. Funky, fresh and fun, this is a big bold album that should help The Heavy break Britain.

MUSIC THAT MATTERS

Send tracks/edits/ remixes to andy@ infusion.ae

audio tonic - ADE Sampler More deep house, nu-disco magic from the ever-growing audio tonic stable, with the bouncy, bassline driven ‘80s High’ by Rassek the stand out.

Just Lance - X-One 1205 Deep, vocal-laced disco sampling take on house music from the old Mahiki resident.

Danny Tenaglia - Music Is The Answer (Stu Laurie Balearic Soul Remix) Beautiful rework of the classic, replete with a gorgeous 2 minute acoustic guitar breakdown, tailor-made for sunsets.

Smokingroove Want My Life Moody, deep house number that marks the duo’s move away from their more normal disco-sampling, jacking’ house territory.

Sain ft. Tiny - 1990 Nostalgic, classic sounding hip hop from Emirati hip hopper Sain and guest vocals from silky smooth singer Tiny.

CDJ-2000nexus PURE PERFORMANCE Pro-DJ Multiplayer: Wireless compatible with rekordbox™ software (Mac/Windows) and new rekordbox™ app / Four-deck Beat Sync / Improved Master Tempo and Quantize / Wave Zoom and Active Loop / Slip Mode / My Settings / MIDI/HID control / Supports MP3, AAC, WAV and AIFF files The CDJ-2000nexus has evolved beyond beat matching to bring powerful new performance possibilities. Open the rekordbox™ app on your smartphone or tablet and the CDJ-2000nexus will access your music over Wi-Fi or USB cable, shortening the preparation cycle and enhancing live browsing.

Hit Beat Sync and up to four decks will sync to the chosen master deck. This game-changing feature sets the DJ free to get truly creative with loops, hot cues and scratching, now all perfectly in sync.

see the latest CDJ2000nexus videos on

Join the community

PioneerDJ

With Slip Mode, DJs can create live edits while the music continues playing muted in the background. Release the jog wheel and the track seamlessly picks up in the right place thanks to true quantization.

The CDJ-2000nexus is bursting with many other qualityenhancing features, designed to move the industry standard up to another level.

See what other DJs thought on DJsounds.com

PIONEER-MEA.COM

DJ Booth: Kirk

Caramel in DIFC doesn’t just have great food and drink, it also has one of the city’s best bar DJs...

One thing you might not know about me is...

I like to cook.

My worst ever job was...

A paper round when I was 14, I’m not much of a morning person!

My favourite ever record is...

Too many to mention, but one of my favourites is ‘Notorious Thugs’ by Bone Thugz.

DJing is much like...

Hosting a dinner party, ensuring all the guests are enjoying themselves.

Dubai’s clubbing scene is...

Lively, you can always find something going on any night of the week.

I’m really proud of...

My scratching skills.

If I could change one thing about anything it would be...

Dubai’s summer heat.

I can’t live without...

My headphones!

My biggest DJ achievement to date is....

Successfully making the move from London to Dubai.

If you could DJ in any decade which would it be...

90s.

If I could go back-to-back with any other DJ it would be...

DJ Hype on an oldskool drum and bass event.

I’m not a politician but...

Check out my mixes at soundcloud.com/deejaykirk

Soundstage

Caitlin Murphy She’s supported Kate Nash, and is one of the leading female singer-songwriters in the city, with big pop aspirations‌

How would you describe your sound?

Confused, haha. I guess it’s indie/folk/pop.

Being a musician in Dubai is much like...

Being a human jukebox! I’m just messing, but the covers scene is pretty repetitive. I much prefer making less money and focusing on writing my own stuff.

The best way to get noticed in Dubai is...

Get on the pub circuit and build your audience through working the crowd and social media.

What’s the best gig you’ve played?

When I supported Kate Nash at the Madinat with my friend Tomas.

And the worst?

Christmas Day at Irish Village last year - I don’t really play the kind of covers you want to hear on Christmas day, this takes me back to being a human jukebox!

If I could support any artist it would be...

Bat for Lashes.

What’s the one thing you’d like to request on your rider?

A hammock. Oh, and a pint... of Jameson.

Fame or respect?

Money, haha… Respect.

If I could change one thing about Dubai’s music scene...

Definitely see more local original artists performing and just a bigger music scene in general. There needs to be more awareness of gigs too, people are hungry for culture/art/music but just assume Dubai doesn’t have it. Ditch the brunches and go see a band!

The best local band is...

At the moment I’d say Fables of Cantt. facebook.com/caitlinmurphymusic

Look and Listen

DJ TOP 1234 56 78910

To submit your Top 10, send in the below format to andy@infusion.ae

Dan Chadwick MustHaveSoul

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Camelphat – Watergate (Original Mix) Ziggy Funk – Your Lovin' (Original Mix) Baunz – Same Thing (Huxley Dub) Mi Casa – La Vida (Atjazz Instrumental) Grant Nelson – So Many Ways Reboot – Enjoy Music (Paolo Rocco's Strictly 90's Mix) Miguel Migs – Dance & Clap Maurice Aymard ft. Yetta – El Duelo (Joyce Muniz Llegar Remix) Arlequim – Dance 2B Happy (Francisco & Gonzalez Remix) Random Soul & Nicc Johnson – Work That

Woodle Bassworx

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DC Breaks feat. Dee Freer – Killer (Tantrum Desire Remix) Far Too Loud – Lightbringer Charli XCX – You're The One (Loadstar Remix) Mark Knight ft. Skin – Nothing Matters (Noisia Remix) DRS ft. Enei – Count To Ten Komatic & Technicolour ft. Jayma – Stay (BCee Remix) Netsky – Love Has Gone (Enei Remix) Tantrum Desire – Reach (Dubstep Tease) DJ Kentaro ft. Matrix & Futurebound – North South East West DJ SS – Lighter (Bladerunner 2012 Remix)

AKS www.djaks.net

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Fedde Le Grand, Nicky Romero – Sparks (Original Mix) Leon Boiler – US Deniz Koyu, Zedd, Matthew Koma – Spectrum Feat. Matthew Koma Ivan Gough, Feenixpawl, Georgi Kay, Walden – In My Mind Dimitri Vegas, Like Mike – Tomorrowland Anthem 2012 (Original Mix) Rune RK – Teacup (Original Mix) Sander Van Doorn, Julian Jordan – Kangaroo (Original Mix) David Guetta – She Wolf (Falling To Pieces) Feat. Sia (Extended) Afrojack – Rock The House (Original Mix) Birdy Nam Nam – Goin' In (Skrillex "Goin' Down" Mix)

Jixo & Danz Blue Marlin

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Hot Chip – How Do You Do (James Zabiela remix) Oxia – Harmonie (Simon Mattson Remix) Claptone – Shook (Original mix) Blaze – Lovelee Dae (BiteOfire Remix) Klangkarussell – Sonnentanz (Original mix) Joel Alter – En Livfull skildring (Move D remix) Sharam Jey – Love Hurts (Original mix) Sascha Sonido – Papillon (Orignal mix) Konrad Black – Devastator (Original mix) Lana Del Rey – Born to Die (Santinn remix)

XDJ-AERO FREEDOM TO PLAY Wireless all-in-one DJ system: Combined player and standalone mixer / Works wirelessly with rekordbox™ software (Mac/Windows) and new rekordbox™ app* (iOS/Android) / New Jog Drum and Sample Launch / Four quantized Beat FX / Two Sound Colour Filters / Beat sync and quantized loops / USB recording / Software controller (MIDI/HID) / 44.1 kHz/24-bit sound card Join the wireless revolution with the XDJ-AERO, the industry’s first Wi-Fi enabled DJ system. Load music wirelessly from smartphones, tablets and PCs for totally hassle-free set up and truly spontaneous sets.

Get your crowd involved too. They can stream their favourite tracks from their mobile devices to the XDJ-AERO once they’ve downloaded the new Pioneer rekordbox app* – giving you the power to select tracks from up to four wireless sources at once.

Manage your music on the go using the rekordbox app*, then wirelessly sync your creations to the XDJ-AERO before getting in the mix.

The XDJ-AERO: freedom to play on a whole new level.

See the XDJ-AERO in action on DJsounds.com or facebook.com/pioneerdjglobal

videos on Join the community

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PIONEER-MEA.COM

*rekordbox app for iOS available for download from 21st August 2012. rekordbox app for Android available for download, date to be confirmed.

dxb Festival, October 5th

Looking

CLOSER Opinions, thoughts and jiberish... > Weird News > Pan Arabia Enquirer > Movies > Cool Test > Big Q > Angry Monkey

Looking Closer

Weird News...

Loo with a view

No need to take something into the toilet to read any more — at least not if you’re taking a dump in the Boom Boom Room’s toilet in the Standard Hotel in New York, as the 18th floor toilet is completely visible from the street, giving you plenty to look at.

“The view outside is exciting, but the view inside is frightening,” said David Langdon, 55, from Melbourne, Australia. “I saw people waving at me! Sitting on the royal throne, you don’t expect a public viewing!” restaurant manager Florentina Ballesteros meanwhile claimed “Who cares? So people know you have to pee? The view was wonderful both ways!”

WEIRD BITES Will You Marry Me One log-flume goer got creative, and asked his friends to pose with boards as their picture was taken at Thorpe Park in England, his bride to be only realising the proposal when they checked the picture board. Cute!

Cock and ball story

We’re heard of people talking b*llocks before, but one Tokyo artist has gone a step further, and served up his own privates to diners, who paid up to Dhs1000 for the privilege. But Mao Sugiyama has been charged with indecent exposure and could face up to two years in prison after he decided to sever his private parts and serve them with button mushrooms and Italian parsley after he decided to undergo elective genital removal surgery.

panarabiaenquirer.com

Crowds rejoice as David Guetta set to return to Abu Dhabi for 700th time

ABU DHABI: There were scenes of unbridled joy across the Middle East yesterday after it was announced that David Guetta would soon be returning to Abu Dhabi for Creamfields.

“I’m just so excited,” screamed 22-year-old Ghada Barnacles, who last saw the French DJ and producer when he played in Abu Dhabi on Thursday. “I can’t wait for him to play all those great tracks he played last week.”

For 21-year-old Henrietta Equestrian-Sports, who considers herself a Guetta novice having only seen him DJ 39 times in Abu Dhabi before, the announcement was a dream come true.

“It’s a dream come true,” she continued.

According to Guetta’s official website, the DJ is “ecstatic” to be returning to the UAE for the 700th time this year, adding that with the airmiles he had so far earned flying to the country “he probably had enough to get to the moon or something”.

Organisers of the gig are hoping that Guetta’s upcoming performance will make up for May 17 of this year, otherwise known as ‘Black Thursday’, when the DJ was booked to play elsewhere and therefore couldn’t come to Abu Dhabi.

The Pan-Arabia Enquirer is the Middle East’s premier source of satirical news.

This means that it’s entirely made up and not intended, in any way whatsoever, to be taken as factual.

MOVIE Looper More top-class action from Jospeh GordonLevitt, as he stars in a time-travelling mob drama with more twists and turns than Jumeirah Lake Towers’ road system.

Classification: 18 Director: Rian Johnson Starring: Bruce Willis, Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Anna Karenina

Knightley stars as the 19th Century aristocrat who enters into a life-changing affair with a well-off Russian count. Cue period drama, pained looks and plenty of clever juxtaposition from the ‘Pride and Prejudice’ director.

Classification: 12 Director: Joe Wright Starring: Keira Knightley, Jude Law

PREVIEWS Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World Slightly cloying disaster movie as Steve Carrell, ditched by his wife as the world is about to end, embarks on a road trip, trying to find peace and happiness.

Classification: PG Director: Lorene Scafaria Starring: Steve Carrell, Keira Knightley

Friends With Kids Warm, fuzzy but well executed comedy that charts the highs and lows of 3 couples with kids, one of whom decide to have a baby despite their platonic relationship.

Classification: 15 Director: Jennifer Westfeldt Starring: John Hamm, Adam Scott, Maya Rudolph

Cool REFRESHED

BY FIJI WATER

SHARIF

LYNNE

They’re part of the team behind Nasimi’s events, but who keeps their beach-cool under pressure?

Have you ever used your name or fame to get out of trouble?

Whenever possible, to get me in and out of trouble! I was lucky enough to work for a music mag for 11 years, it was great for queue jumping.

The coolest thing about dubai is ?

The amazing nightclub scene, there’s always something brilliant I would say the aircon. going on. We have the best artists and DJs here every week!

Have you ever injured yourself at work?

Yep! I’m a trained dancer, and when I was in my early 20s I was dancing in a very famous Ibizan nightclub, I once sprained my ankle trying after one very enthusiastic high to attempt Micheal Jackson’s kick on a club podium I slipped and Moonwalk. fractured my bum bone — ouch! I couldn’t sit down for weeks!

It’s not big and clever but...

I still like to get on the podium and My vodka based alter ego has a shake it down, even after broken mind of his own. bums!

My best claim to fame is...

Sitting 2 seats down from Quentin Setting up Space Ibiza on Tour and Tarantino and Uma Thurman at the successfully launching Space Ibiza in Paris Premiere of Kill Bill and then Dubai, OZ, UK and LA! partying with them afterwards.

What’s your answer to everything?

“Do you know what I mean.”

It’s cool, don’t worry!

What’s the best insult u could give to each other.?

Shut up you Queen. Or You’re a Lynne, where are the “Garrols”.

Michael Jackson wannabe…

No, I never get myself into trouble, just a bit of mischief and I don’t consider myself famous.

The verdict: A tight-run thing, but Lynne wins - name-dropping that you used to work for Space Ibiza is always going to be hard to beat!

Fri 5th Almas Tower, beside Bonnington JLT

Looking Closer

The Big Question

Weed: Understand women‌

Sam Beaumont: I’d be Prime Minster, so I could increase the population - any superpower needs people to make it happen, and get the resources (Ed - Erm, OK).

Sonia: Beauty and being an example for all the women in the world.

?

If you could have any superpower, what

would it be?

Alice: I’d be Superwoman.

Buju Banton: Telepathy.

Olessa: I’d be a supertanker because I’m a girl!

Refreshed by FIJI water

ANGRY MONKEY DJs are like lemmings — no really. You might view them as ground-breaking, you might see them as inspirational, but in reality you’re simply being drawn into the myth of the DJ. They’re delusional animals that follow a herd mentality, hurling themselves into fashionable musical oblivion, one after the other.

And the latest trend to have swept DJ land is that of deep house and nu-disco. Where once it was a niche form of dance music, they have now become the must-play genres, with every DJ (and many wannabes) casually name-dropping that they’ve been a deep house DJ for, ‘like, at least the last 6 months, yeah’.

Amusingly, some DJs have simply added it to their previous playlists, so you now see DJs boast they play hip hop/nu-disco, two genres which are as far removed as peace between Israel and Palestine, while other DJs have simply jumped on the bandwagon embarrassingly late, making them look — appropriately enough — like desperate, scene-chasing wannabes.

Monkey Out...