Infusion #205: 18 Aug - 1 Sept '13

MUSIC • PEOPLE • LIFE Aug 18 - Sep 1 2013

Ins Daftide the P h unk macype hine

l Issue #205 l www.infusion.ae l EST 2005

Infusion Hip hop Records: hooray

Behind the scenes at our new label

The 9 Best DVD box sets of all time, Creamfields Beirut, Hop Fest, New clubs and bars + much more!

CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF N.W.A.

Friday 23rd August 2013

DJ YELLA [N.W.A.] Break DJ Lobito (Deep Crates Cartel / Zulu Nation) Somalie (audioOasis / GlobalFunk)

With live performances by: The Rastapharaohs

organized by

online ticketing partner

www.ohmevents.com

Admission starts from 9pm / 21 + only Tickets for AED 100 For reservations call 04 359 8888 www.themusicroomdubai.com

DJ YELLA of

Break DJ Lobito

Somalie

WE ARE LIVE MUSIC

The Music Room

stage for great entertainment Majestic Hotel Tower - Mankhool Road, Bur Dubai

A Note From The Editor

Editor-in-chief: Talal Budebs Managing Partner: Charl Chaka charlchaka@infusion.ae Editor: Andy Buchan andy@infusion.ae Sales Director: Vip Patel Vip@infusion.ae 050 169 8712

What do you do when you’re not out clubbing/sunbathing in Dubai? If you’re in tune with the rest of the city, you invest some hard-earned down time in a DVD box set. Which is why, with summer still very much upon us, and the club and big events season yet to kick in properly, we’ve trawled through our collected collections and pulled together the 9 best box sets ever, including stone cold classics like The Wire and Sopranos alongside some more leftfield calls like cult cartoon Archer.

Elsewhere, we have a long, in-depth chat with Conan Liquid, the man in charge of Infusion Records, and we also have a behind the scenes look at Daft Punk’s marketing machine and ask should we believe the hype? In short, we’ve pretty much got all your needs covered for the next two weeks, so sit back, relax and enjoy the issue.

Andy

Contributors: Benjie Mar Jacobo Lisa Sant Monique Belle Nthayi Tshehle Pan-Arabia Enquirer Design: Allan (Jmaxlolo) Tinsay Grown-up stuff: Infusion is published by Milehigh Media, llc. www.milehighmedia.ae PO Box 53443 Dubai, UAE Contact us: Tel/Fax: 04 368 8098

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KaPOW! PLAYING ROCK, POP, FUNK, JAZZ, RNB, SOUL FROM THE 60'S TO NOW. Our superhero band will stun you with their UNIQUE performance!

Catch them live every night from 9pm onwards.

For reservations call 04 359 8888.

Looking

BACK Retrospective on what’s been happening in our world.

> What We Did > Say What? > Photo Gallery

Looking Back

What we did With the summer shutdown, we’ve got a selection of local and international reviews for you to digest this issue.

Latitude, UK

Despite a reputation as the UK’s most middle-class festival – kids and families are a common sight at this Suffolk festival now into its 8th year – you wouldn’t have necessarily known it on the Sunday as first Rudimental and then Disclosure proved why they’re the hottest names in dance music right now. Rudimental in particular proved why they’ve shot to the top, as their fully live drum and bass meets hip hop and house show got the 6 Music tent bouncing uncontrollably. Rumour has it Dubai might be next...

The night before, Kraftwerk (pictured) gave the 30,000 capacity festival a lesson in where dance music began, with an impressive 3D display to boot. Maybe it was the crowd, maybe it was the sight of four flabby men in their 50s squeezed into Tron outfits, but something fell flat – an impressive show no doubt, but it lacked a little energy to truly make them stand out. At the other end of the spectrum, Richard Ashcroft could barely be contained on stage, despite it being just him and his guitar, as he wrenched every note for all its worth in a stand out hour-long show, with the crowd singing back the final strains of ‘Bittersweet Symphony’ to him at the end. As anyone who’s seen him at Sandance twice, the former Verve frontman has lost none of his edge, and proved to be the most talked about gig on a sun-baked weekend. Latitude: a UK festival with a difference, and one we appreciated very much.

PROUDLY PRESENTS

AUGUST 16•23•30 SEPTEMBER 6 CHARL CHAKA

NTHAYI

JUST LANCE

AFROBOOGIE

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W W W.I N F U S I O N . A E

Looking Back Welcome to the Future, Amsterdam

I’ve been to a few festivals in my life but nothing that even comes close to Welcome To The Future. When I decided to make a trip to Europe this summer and asked my friends in Amsterdam what was happening in July, this was the first festival to be recommended, and with good reason. As soon as I saw the line up (Villalobos, Dubfire, Plex, Robert Hood and more) I knew it had to be done!

No cheesy DJs were found anywhere on this line up, just the best of the best in house and techno.

First stop – after the beer tent – was to see Boris Werner in the Studio 80 tent, who dropped an energetic set full of fun tunes, getting the whole place in dance mode. After a free water refill – the water is free, the food is organic and you can even recycle plastic in exchange for drink tokens at the festival – we caught Villalobos and his trippy, rolling grooves, with the highlight coming when he dropped Robert Hood’s ‘Funkysouls.’

Overall the concept of this festival is very refreshing, with the focus on forward thinking electronic music (the clue’s in the name!), set amongst lots of open fields and trees, the perfect environment to Friction @ q underground unleash your festival party monster.

– Lisa Sant

The Break In @ Level Nine, Media One Hotel

Never short of an enticing concept or two, the Think promoters (also the team behind Sandance) were at it again as they asked people to ‘break into’ the previously un-used Level 9 space at the Media One hotel, in turn treating them to a dark and gritty warehouse space covered in cool graffiti and plenty of dark corners (plus a few table football tables). Full marks for ingenuity, but sadly things came unstuck at the door as hundreds of would-be clubbers queued somewhat chaotically to get in. Once inside, the music fell a little flat in places, but with a month-long series of parties planned in this exciting space, expect these issues to be quickly ironed out.

In numbers

In 1968, Dubai was home to just 13 cars, while in 1991 there was just one skyscraper.

By 2020, there will be 5.3 million cars on the roads, and we now have over 400 skyscrapers. Yowsers!

In a galaxy far far away…

Women are from Venus and men are from Mars? Turns out it’s likely to be just about Mars, as the Mars One Foundation is looking for people willing to be part of the first human settlement planned for 2023. Head to mars-one. com/en/ if you think a few years in Dubai will prepare you for Martian conditions…

Déjà vu Déja Vu happens when your brain tries to apply a memory of a past situation to your current one, fails, and makes you feel like its happened.

Déja Vu happens when...

Short and tweet @therecipedxb Check out our latest track. Cover of Macklemore’s “Can’t Hold Us’ FREE DOWNLOAD!! RT RT RT The RecipeCan’t Hold Us http:// soundcloud.com/ therecipedxb/therecipe-cant-hold-us.

Our favourite local hip hop collective are back, and with a rather spanking cover of Macklemore’s latest.

Guess what Know Avicii’s latest country music inspired chart topper?

Gash isn’t it. But little known fact, it’s actually co-written

by Mike Einziger, the Incubus guitarist.

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Call 800 SUSHI (78744) or visit chezshushi.com Eat or collect at our restaurant. Find us at Shop 18, Wasl Square, (opposite Safa Park) Al Wasl Road, Dubai.

Saturday Showcase Closing Party @ 360

The Break In @ Level 9, Media One

Infusion Magazine Experience @ 360

23 Kuwait Street, Port Rashid Dubai T: +971 4 3868111 melia.dubai@melia.com

Looking FORWARD Where we filter out the best things that are coming your way...

> Local News > Infusion Magazine Records > Hype Ting

Looking Forward

Local News Creamfields Beirut

Can’t wait for the next installment of Creamfields in Abu Dhabi? Well the good news is you don’t have to, as Beirut is launching its very own Creamfields festival. Taking place on Saturday September 7, the one-day festival held down on the Beirut city centre waterfront features a heavyweight techno and deep house led line up with Richie Hawtin (pictured), Loco Dice joined by Maceo Plex and Seth Troxler. Steve Angello and Dash Berlin are on EDM duties, while trance also gets a look in as Aly & Fila and Max Vangeli are on board. There are also a host of big local names spread across the 3 arenas, with Dubai DJs Salah, Raxon, Jixo & Danz, JC, Adam and John Katsoudas joining Beirut stars Gunther & Stamina, MaDJam, Big Al, Jade and more. Tickets start at $60 for general admission, and are available from ticketingboxoffice.com.

Back to bassics

Good news DnB and dubstep fans, as Globalfunk and Something Big have revealed their post-summer line ups. With Globalfunk favouring the deeper side of DnB, they have Roni Size (pictured) confirmed for September 19 and Goldie on October 19 at the Music Room.

At the other end of the DnB musical spectrum, Something Big cater to the darker, more energetic sounds of dubstep and DnB and have Rinse FM’s DJ Youngsta kicking off proceedings at Catwalk on Thursday August 22, while they also have Digital Mystik’s Mala penciled in for later in the year.

New venue round up

It wouldn’t be a new season without a plethora of new venues opening up across town. First up is the London-based Reform pub and restaurant which is opening up at the Lakes club.

With their priorities focused on good food and music (we hear Northern Soul will feature prominently), it could be new Dubai’s answer to Loca. Elsewhere, the Palm Jumeirah has another super club on its hands as 2Liv is set to open at the in the next few months. Spread over 10,000 square feet, this 3 level club at the Sofitel Palm Jumeirah Hotel comes with a high end light and sound system, and from mid-October an outdoor terrace. And with ex-Trilogy resident Ejaz installed as one of the residents, you know that the music quality will be good. Staying on the Palm, there’s another franchise as The Supperclub has opened at the Jumeirah Zabeel Saray.

A high end venture that includes fine dining, live music, DJs and an art gallery, the original Amsterdam venue comes highly recommended so we’ve got high hopes this will follow suit. And finally, after its initial success in Beirut, the White Room are expanding into Dubai and launching a 1,500 capacity club at the end of August in the ballroom of the Marooj Rotana Hotel.

Looking Forward Rumours

Jaguar Skills could be heading out to Dubai according to one promoter.

The Music Room’s hip hop sessions look to continue as NWA’s DJ could be followed by Public Enemy’s DJ Lord at the end of September.

The old site of Trilogy and Jambase is to be turned into Pacha, and could be open by the end of the year.

Popular roof terrace party Electric Days is making its comeback on Friday September 13 with deep house DJ Laura Jones headlining.

We’ve heard that Kenny 'Dope' Gonzalez might be heading out, while one promoter has promised Nicolas Jaar will be hitting these shores sooner rather than later.

Our latest Infusion Records release confidently sailed into the Beatport Deep House Top 100 list. Hell yeah!

People who moan about the queue length at a club. If it’s good, expect to queue, biatches, the good stuff is always worth waiting for.

The final episodes of Breaking Bad. TV doesn't get much better than this.

Those who posted spoilers about the last episode of Breaking Bad on Twitter and Facebook. We have a bath tub full of lye with your name on it...

Cloud seeing by the UAE goverment this summer: it's the little things like cloud and rain in August that make summer's just about bearable.

People liking their own Facebook status and photos.

What's wrong with you?

S T

CO H 7 JU N AY & CH S AN I 31 T D A A E L U R E LA I P G L -A Q FR N CH C UI O -S AK E D O U L -H A O

P R E S E N

U S E

S NT AT, 1

www.jumeirah.com/360

DOORS OPEN 6PM – 3AM WITH UPSTAIRS CLOSING AT 2AM l 360°, JUMEIRAH BEACH HOTEL FREE ENTRANCE l +21 l ID REQUIRED TABLE BOOKINGS : 056 682 6617 l INFO@INFUSION.AE l MORE INFO : WWW.INFUSION.AE TWITTER.COM/INFUSIONMAG l TWITTER.COM/360DUBAI

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AUGUST 16•23•30 SEPTEMBER 6 CHARL CHAKA

NTHAYI

JUST LANCE

AFROBOOGIE

SIMON B

FREE ENTRY I FRIDAY NIGHTS 4PM-3AM HOUSE OF AFRIKA @ DEK ON 8: FREE ENTRY FOR ALL 4PM – 3AM I STRICTLY 21+ FOR TABLE RESERVATIONS PLEASE CONTACT RSVP@INFUSION.AE FACEBOOK.COM/INFUSIONMA G A Z I N E

W W W.I N F U S I O N . A E

RECORDS With Infusion Records now on their 7th release, we thought it was high time we sat down with main music man Conan Manchester to find out how the first 6 months have gone, where the label is headed and how local DJs and producers can get involved‌

We already have a longrunning magazine, awardwinning events and a host of other activities – why was starting the record label so important?

I’d been toying with the idea of starting a label for about 5 years before I moved to Dubai.

I really liked what Infusion was doing as a brand and after many chats with Charl (Infusion’s MD) I really liked his work ethic. It seemed like a natural progression for Infusion and I really wanted to help Infusion become an international brand.

Music can do this quicker and easier than any other medium in my opinion. They have a great team and a great way of doing things. What I also loved was that Charl was willing to give me complete control of the label. I am not the easiest person to work with and tend to like getting my own way so total artistic license would have been the only way I could really run a label. However as time has progressed, Charl and Infusion’s opinions have really helped the label grow and move forward.

What’s the musical ethos, are you following any trends at the moment?

The idea is to release good club music, be it house, soul, chill out etc. so I wouldn’t say we are following any trends. I

I’ve remixed people from Radiohead to Talking Heads, Blondie

to All Saints. have always tried to steer away from trends as a producer and an A&R Manager because the music can sound dated very quickly and you can alienate people. It does make it harder to release tracks that are maybe trend and genrebucking, but I have always preferred to be an innovator rather than a follower.

And how would you describe the reaction now?

It’s building nicely. We are getting support from people like Roger Sanchez, Kenny Dope, Mr.V, Richard Earnshaw, Grant Nelson, Louie Vega, Dino

Moran and MoodyManc, so we are definitely going in the right direction. They are a real cross section of DJs and producers I really respect, so having their support and great reactions from them can really help market the track to the masses.

Me and Charl wanted the label to grow organically and have a good solid foundation to build on. I think we have achieved this and are now moving on to the next level.

Your last release did well, but I think on the day of release there were hundreds of new tracks coming out – how hard is it to make yourself heard in the market?

There are always hundreds of releases to go up against on every release day. The difference now though is that when it’s digital, it’s always available. In the old days if you put a track out and it didn’t sell well initially it would never be restocked. However nowadays a track can bubble away for months and then suddenly become popular. As we are trying to be a bit ahead of the game, I’d be more than happy if a track of ours suddenly

became popular in a year's time because it used a certain synth or had a certain sound that was suddenly in vogue.

You also have multi-media channels to promote on now so things can be easier to get out there in the ether.

You’re now halfway into your first year, what’s been the best lesson you’ve learnt so far?

To make sure you get reactions. They help so much on release day. Getting DJs to chart the track helps a lot as well. I am starting to get a bit militant about getting reactions now. I never understood why labels hassled you for reactions and threatened to take you off promo lists if you didn’t react, but now I am right on board with doing that. A couple of promos and no reactions, you’re off the list. I have a select group of tastemakers so I would rather give that spot to someone who listens to it and reacts, good or bad.

Bad reactions are as valuable as good ones.

You’ve got an impressive background in music, what have you done up until starting

Infusion Records with Charl?

I’ve been making music and DJing since I was 10 (splicing on a reel to reel four track and editing block) so that’s over 30 years, but I have played musical instruments all my life. I spent my summers from about 1982 in my Uncle’s recording studio (watching musicians like Ian Dury, The Clash, Herbie Hancock, Alabama 3 make albums) so have seen so much in the way of making music. My first record came out in 1992 and I have released records with Strictly Rhythm, Sony, EMI, Defected, and countless independents amounting to over 100 releases. I’ve remixed people from Radiohead to Talking Heads, Blondie to All Saints. I have

always tried to not pigeon-hole myself and create a wide genre of music from House to Hip Hop to Lounge to TV and film soundtracks. I’ve kept myself busy and have always tried to make music that’s a little ‘forward thinking’.

You’ve been releasing a lot of local music – are the local names good enough to be released? And how can people contact you regarding releases or remixes?

Absolutely. There are so many great DJs in Dubai and lot of them have started producing now (if they weren’t already).

Charl and I wanted local talent to be a big part of Infusion Records and we are starting to put that into practice now.

I trust myself as an A&R Manager and producer enough to be happy to help any local producers nurture and better their productions

and release them on the label. Even DJs and producers that come to me with just ideas or sketches. We can help take it to the point that it can be released and increase their profile as well as have a slamming new release from local talent on Infusion.

I think a lot of the time people lack confidence in their creative ideas. I want Infusion to give them a channel to release their creation at a very high standard. I am contactable at conan@infusion.ae and will happily discuss any ideas with any producer who is looking to release their tracks.

I am also available for any advice on production, engineering or mastering.

And what’s in the pipeline for the next 6 months?

We have some great releases lined up. A touch of wizardry from Andy Buchan due up end of September, some more Conan Liquid, Quincy Maldano and RaRaR releases and an EP from an amazing German producer called Balthasar Siegroth. We will also be looking to do some record release parties and a compilation.

Email conan@infusion.ae for submissions/record label info. traxsource.com label/13648/infusionrecords

PRESENTS

THE WARMUP YOUR WEEKLY DJ SHOW, LIVE FROM EVERY THURSDAY 4-6PM Log on to www.infusion.ae or www.facebook.com/InfusionMagazine

HYPE

Wonder how Daft Punk took over the world this summer? Andy Buchan looks behind the masks and explains why we’re all suckers for the hype…

When it’s done right, hype is anticipation, it’s excitement, it’s organic.

But if you think about it, hype has become advertising and publicity. Clever advertising and publicity, granted, but it’s become a manmade phenomenon, something thought up in board rooms and offices and not powered by the weight of public opinion (just look at the carefully orchestrated corporate ‘Flash mobs’ for evidence).

The film and music world have been subjected to over-inflated opinion forming, with a steady stream of teasers, trailers, innovative advertising and aggressive marketing causing consumers to binge on carefully provided information which is then eagerly dissected by on air, online and print media. And when the excitement levels have been built up to tantric levels and the album/film is released, you can almost guarantee box office receipts and top of the pops results. But – and this is the crucial point – consumers are nearly always left cold shouldered and disappointed, the hype almost never living up to the content.

TING We’re not short of big-budget examples: Prometheus and Man of Steel from the film world, and Daft Punk’s recent Random Access Memories have all promised brave new worlds and failed to deliver.

In Daft Punk’s case, the Parisian robots come with a natural weight of expectation – their first two albums helped shape the current dance music climate, ushering in a new wave of bands and DJs, while the 8 year gap between their 3rd and 4th album only heightened the sense of occasion.

Sony cleverly tapped into that natural hype and created a precise military-style campaign that started with targeted 15 second TV trailers (just 8 seconds of which consisted of music, and even then it was just one chord progression), and ended with blanket advertising across virtually every medium on earth (no, really).

Then came a series of in-depth Contributor interviews, where Nile Rodgers, Pharrell and the rest all gave fawning interviews in which they added further fuel to the fire, proclaiming the new Daft

Punk album to be the second coming (and we all know how that turned out, Stone Roses fans). This was swiftly followed by a longer, 2 minute clip of ‘Get Lucky’ debuted on huge screens at Coachella which promptly went viral quicker than puppy in a onesie, and drew bigger cheers than festival headliners Blur.

This supremely limited content was enough for Soundcloud warriors, however, who quickly drowned the internet in bad re-edits, extended remixes and mashups, gaining millions of downloads and hits within hours.

Next came the predictable interviews where the ‘Da Funk’ duo proclaimed that the current state of dance music was in dire straits (the insinuation being that their absence had caused it), and that their album would be the antidote to the current rash of EDM sweeping the world. By looking back to the classic disco sound of the 70s, they’d bring the funk and soul back into dance music, giving

us more than processed beats and wasp-in-a-bottle basslines.

Finally, it was time for the journalists to stoke the flames as part of their carefully guarded album play back sessions. With a huge stereo primed with their fourth album, Daft Punk allowed some of the world’s media into their world to listen to the album just once. NME, no stranger to hype themselves, called it ‘the best party of the decade’, said that the album left ‘the tatters of 21st century dance music strewn around their robot feet, vanquished,’ while also commenting that it sounds like the ‘theme tune to a 70s US sitcom.’

And therein lies the hype.

Because nothing should ever sound like a 70s US sitcom and receive praise, and especially not when it’s been created by Daft Punk.

Yes, Sony’s marketing team have pulled off an astonishing feat, propelling Daft Punk to countless records (their first ever No.1 single, the most

requested track on Spotify, the No.1 album in over 28 countries) and have made GuyMan and Thomas Bangalter millions, and the record company gazillions.

But in doing so, they’ve pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes. The music fans bought the hype, pushing it through carefully orchestrated social media outlets via the Daft Punk homepage. The journalists bought the hype and gave it more column inches than any album or event in living memory. And ultimately,

the fans bought the hype, desperately wanting this carefully woven story to be true. Taken alone, Daft Punk’s album would probably have been seen as an ambitious failure, on a par with Human After All. But under the mountain of hype and unsustainable pressure heaped on by layer and layer of expectation, it’s virtually impossible to judge the album on its merits, making it one of the most disappointing albums in recent time. As Public Enemy wisely said, don’t (always) believe the hype…

Daft Punk might have succumbed to the hype machine, but these acts managed to live up to the expectation Boards of Canada

Like Daft Punk, fans had to wait eons for new material, and like Daft Punk, the Scottish duo behind BoC keep their cards close to their chest. So when a series of mysterious records were discovered across the world, each holding a new clue about their new album, it’s fair to say the internet went into hype overdrive. And fans weren’t disappointed, as BoC delivered a bleak but uplifting collage of abstract beats and pieces, perfect for long train journeys.

Kanye West

He called his 6th album Yeezus, a conflagration of Jesus and his own nickname, so that tells you something about the narcissistic hype that surrounded this album. But with next level future beats, and some genius rhymes – Chewbacca, croissants and mild racism all feature – it’s the most original hip hop record in years.

ALL NEW

ARTY GUIDE

For a full list of what’s on, please head to infusion.ae. Pease submit your listings to andy@infusion.ae for possible inclusion.

ON THE THE RADAR ON RADAR

September 6 – Drop Dread feat. Horace Andy, Casa Latina September 19 – Globalfunk feat. Roni Size, The Music Room October 4 – Al Murray, Dubai World Trade Centre October 11 – Sandance feat. The Killers, Atlantis October 19 – Rihanna, Du Arena, Yas Island November 3 – Depeche Mode, F1 After party, Yas Island November 15 – Sandance feat. Jamiroquai/Chic, Atlantis November 22 – Sunny Vibe Up feat. Craig Charles, Dusk Terrace

Monday 19 Manic Mondays, Zinc

Greg Stainer and Andy Swift play old and new skull anthems, with a 10pm-midnight happy hour. 10pm-3am, ladies and couples free. Weekly.

Hip hop Mondays, Cirque Du Soir

Bustling early-week party with excellent hip hop vibes from start to finish courtesy of DJ Bliss. 10pm-3am.

The Laughter Factory, Els Club (Dubai Sports City)

Pierre Hollins, Caimh McDonnell and John Lynn supply the funnies at this monthly night. 8pm, Dhs140.

Tuesday 20 B:Lush, Media One

4 free drinks for ladies, with Da Sendri dropping funk, soul, disco and house. 7-10pm, free.

Barasti

Dhs50 entrance fee gets you free flowing bubbly all night.

6pm-late, Dhs50.

En Vogue, Armani Prive

Darko De Jan takes control of this high class ladies night, with complimentary mojitos until 1am for ladies. 10pm-3am.

Lights Out, Sublime

Shero and Brooklyn drop commercial R&B and hip hop, with free drinks for ladies before midnight. 10pm-3am.

Luxure, VIP Room (JW Marriott Marquis, Business Bay) Hip hop, funk, house and dancehall. 11pm-3am.

INFUSION PICK! Cirque Loves Funky House, Cirque Le Soir

Funky house star and man of many names ATFC headlines at this mid-weeker. 10pm-3am.

Wednesday 21

Thursday 22

AKS Fashion Night, Armani Prive

Anaog Room, Q Underground

Diamond Wednesdays, XL Beach Club

Boudoir

House and Bollywood hits from DJ Zubair. 10pm-3am, Ladies free, couples Dhs100.

Radio 1’s Brooklyn and DJ Shero on the urban soundtrack, with free Diamond cocktails for ladies until 1am. 9pm-late. Weekly.

Mingle, Left Bank (Souq Al Bahar & Madinat Jumeirah)

Dhs5 cocktails for ladies (no, really) from 8pm-late.

The Ultimate Ladies Night, Zinc

INFUSION PICK! The Laughter Factory, Zinc

Pierre Hollins, Caimh McDonnell and John Lynn supply the funnies at this monthly night. 8pm, Dhs140.

Free shots for ladies until 1am, and commercial RnB and house. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

Conan Manchester, Loca

Foot-tapping funk, soul and rock and roll from Conan at one of our favourite bars in town. Weekly Thursday and Friday.

Deep Crates, Casa Latina

Popular vinyl-friendly hip hop, funk and soul night led

by DJ Lobito. 10pm-3am, free, free wine for ladies 10-12. Weekly.

Guru Josh, Movida

The ‘Infinity’ star headlines, with support from the Movida residents. 10pm-3am.

i2, Habtoor Grand

Cheesy but fun 80s and 90s anthems from start to sweaty finish. 10pm-3am. Weekly Thursday and Friday.

Identity, N’Dulge

Brand new house night in the main room with female DJ Kellie Acreman, with DJ Brooklyn on urban and throwback duties in the lounge. 10pm-3am, Dhs100, ladies free before 11pm.

Weekly.

PARTY GUIDE

One of the most popular ladies nights in town, with free bubbly for ladies before 1am, and house, electro and hip hop. 10pm-late. Weekly.

Ladies free, men Dhs75 after midnight.

The cool electronic night returns with the Techno Gipsy Edition with Roustam headining. 9pm-3am.

ARTY GUIDE

Infusion Magazine Experience, 360

Charl Chaka and Nthayi deliver the house hits at this popular bi-weekly night at one of the city’s best clubs. 6pm3am, free.

The Laughter Factory, Grand Millenium Hotel Tecom

Pierre Hollins, Caimh McDonnell and John Lynn supply the funnies at this monthly night. 8pm, Dhs140.

Ladies First, Blends

4 hours of free Cosmos, and properly fun classic mix from Patrick Pereira. 8pm-3am free. Weekly.

Pulse, Movenpick (Bur Dubai)

Energetic house and crossover tunes at this popular club.

10pm-3am, ladies free.

Weekly.

INFUSION PICK!

Step On, Media One

The long-running indie monthly heads indoors and takes over the new level 9 space at Media One. 5pm-3am, free.

What Da Funk, Chameleon

Deep house to commercial.

10pm-3am. Weekly.

Friday 23 audio tonic, 360

The long-running weekly electronic night returns downstairs, with Tristan Bain, Rich Showell and Mr Mr playing. 4pm-3am, free.

INFUSION PICK! Boombox, The Music Room

Ohm Records’ impressive hip hop night continues, as NWA’s resident DJ Yella headlines, with support from Lobito and Somalie. 9pm3am, Dhs100.

Something Big feat. DJ Youngsta

The dubstep and jump up DnB night pulls out a big-hitter for its post-Ramadan return as one of the leading dubstep DJs, Youngsta, headlines with local support. 9pm-3am, Dhs100.

Brunch Beat Session, Bahri Bar Ambient and chilled out grooves from Jeli Maniago.

4-8pm. Weekly.

House of Afrika, Level 9

Charl, Just Lance and Nthayi are on deck duty at this celebration of Afro-tinged music. 4pm-3am, free.

Freaks and Beats, Cirque Du Soir

Nick Tohme heads up this weekly night, where entertainment is at the fore.

10pm-3am. Weekly.

No.1 Fridays, N’Dulge

Destination, Zinc

UK Garage, Funky house and urban with Richie D and Mister Ash. 10pm-3am. Weekly.

INFUSION PICK! La Vida, Rare

A brand new Saturday night venture showcasing the deeper side of house and tech house with Eric Francis and Charl Chaka dropping the beats. 9pm-late, 2-for-1 drink deals.

No.1 Fridays, the long-running urban night, are back at N’Dulge doing what they do best, throwing impressive all urban parties every Friday.

10pm-3am, ladies free before 11pm, Dhs100 after. Weekly.

Sorry for Friday Rocking, Movida

Ultimate Friday, XL Beach Club

The Tune Brothers return after their NYE show at the Habtoor beach club, with support from Danny Whitlock. 3pm-3am.

Saturday 24 411, People By Crystal

DJ Bliss and Shef Codes are back closing the weekend in style with their EDM meets urban mash up. 10pm-3am.

Weekly.

Saturday Showcase, 360

Deep house business from this audio tonic hosted night, with Markii, Tristan Bain and Rod Lee Winters playing. 6pmlate, free.

Tuesday 27 Cirque Loves Funky House, Cirque Le Soir

Hungarian house duo Crazibiza drop EDM inspired house music at the circusthemed club. 10pm-3am.

PARTY GUIDE

A ‘Sorry For Friday Rocking’ theme party at this high end Sheikh Zayed Road establishment. 11pm-3am.

Weekly.

ARTY GUIDE

Wednesday 28 The Illusionists, World Trade Centre 8 of the world’s best magicians, conjurers and illusionists perform together in this renowned Las Vegas show. 8pm.

Pukka Up, Media One Hotel

Mark Robinson drops funky house jams at the graffiti covered Level 9 at Media One hotel. 5pm-3am, free.

Friday 30 audio tonic, 360

Anaog Room, Q Underground

The long-running weekly electronic night returns downstairs, with Megadon Betamax, Mr Mr and Raxon dropping the deep house and disco. 4pm-3am, free.

The Illusionists, World Trade Centre

Champagne Showers Pool Party, XL Beach Club

Thursday 29 Ryan Elliott headines at this popular electronic night, with support from Medhi. 9pm-3am.

8 of the world’s best magicians, conjurers and illusionists perform together in this renowned Las Vegas show.

6pm and 10pm.

INFUSION PICK! The Hop Fest, Irish Village

The hugely popular annual beer festival begins again, with dozens of ales and ciders on offer and plenty of live music.

12 midday-late, Dhs35 per serving.

As the name suggest, champagne and showers are the theme at this RnB and electro night. 3pm-3am, Dhs150, ladies free.

No.1 Fridays, N’Dulge

Baby Blue, the RnB artist behind ‘Bump’ performs live at the weekly urban party. 10pm3am, ladies free before 11pm, Dhs100 after. Weekly.

Roots V: The Gathering, Mint Club Bur Dubai

A reggae inspired mini-festival with a host of local bands playing live. 9pm-3am, Dhs30.

The Hop Fest, Irish Village

The hugely popular annual beer festival begins again, with dozens of ales and ciders on offer and plenty of live music. 12 midday-late, Dhs35 per serving.

The Illusionists, World Trade Centre

The Hop Fest, Irish Village

8 of the world’s best magicians, conjurers and illusionists perform together in this renowned Las Vegas show. 2pm, 6pm and 10pm.

INFUSION PICK!

House of Afrika, Level 9

Afroboogie, Charl and Nthayi return to this popular weekly night celebrating Afro-tech rhythms. 4pm3am, free.

The hugely popular annual beer festival begins again, with dozens of ales and ciders on offer and plenty of live music. 12 midday-late, Dhs35 per serving.

The Illusionists, World Trade Centre

8 of the world’s best magicians, conjurers and illusionists perform together in this renowned Las Vegas show. 6pm and 10pm.

UDLY PRESENTS

L CHAKA

Entra Mi Casa, Downstairs 360

Tristan, Nthayi and Conan deliver the Saturday evening beats and treats. 9pm-3am.

NTHAYI

JUST LANCE

AFROBOOGIE

SIMON B

FREE ENTRY I FRIDAY NIGHTS 4PM-3AM

PARTY GUIDE

Saturday 31 AUGUST 16•23•30

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Look AND

LISTEN Music be the food of love, so read on...

> Music News > Album Reviews > DJ Booth > Soundstage > DJ Top 10

Look and Listen

Music News...

Calvin’s at it again

Not content with having broken Michael Jackson’s record of the most number of album tracks hitting the UK Top 10, Calvin Harris has now broken his own record after his latest single ‘Thinking About You’ made it nine out of nine in the Top 10. But that pop domination could be at an end, after he told Music Week: “I’m doing more dance music that probably won’t get into the charts, I was in the studio yesterday.

I just want to make good music; this award is like drawing a line under the past two years where I’ve just been intensely f***ing working to try and make singles and hit records.”

MUSIC BITES 98 per cent of the hiphop music that’s out now is just bad demos

Jaguar Skills does the math One of our favourite turntablists, BBC Radio 1’s Jaguar Skills is attempting to break a world record at the end of August with his ‘1979-2006: A Hip-Hop Odyssey’ mix which aims to mix 800 classics in just 40 minutes. We hit the calculator and worked out that’s a rather staggering ratio of one classic every 20 seconds. We’re not even sure DJ Cowboy could keep up with that sort of pace! Fans will be able to listen in live via BBC Radio 1 on August 22.

Hip hop legend Run DMC hits out at the modern scene, saying it’s lost its positive intentions and become immature.

Look and Listen Azealia on another Twitter rampage

Azealia Banks and Twitter go together as well as sand, sex and Dubai deportation. And the American rapper has been at it again, this time saying Lily Allen has a coke habit, ugly children and a husband who looks like a thumb (an odd, but interesting insult, we’ll give her that).

Banks called Allen ‘weak’, and said she was ‘coked up’ the last time they met, to which Allen responded by calling her a ‘one hit wonder’. It all then kicked off when Banks MUSIC BITES wrote: “LOL ill be a one hit wonder but you have ugly children and a coke habit.....

‘I’d write that in a Shhhhhhh. #SHUTUP”. Ah Azealia, you f***ing hour. I don’t might be a one hit wonder (and a rather ace know what the fuss is one at that), but you never fail to entertain about, you know what I mean? It’s like f*** off, on Twitter. give me a f***ing break’ Fair to say ex Oasis singer Liam Gallagher isn’t a fan of Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky.’

Get lucky with Daft Punk

The Parisian pair have already conquered the pop charts with their latest album, but they’ve added to the hype around Random Access Memories by releasing limited edition Daft Punk merchandise. And to go with the Daft Punk action figures (available from the end of the year), they’ve also unveiled their ‘Get Lucky’ condoms, with Diplo recently Tweeting a picture of them: ‘Thank god I had those daft punk condoms last night”.

Look and Listen

Album Reviews...

Fabric Live 70 – Friction

Drum and bass I fabriclondon.com/store/fabriclive-70

For more Album Reviews go to www.infusion.ae



As anyone who saw his show for Audioasis earlier in the year will attest, Friction is a badman. And a badman over 4 decks at that, as he worked the mixer’s crossfaders and filters to within a beat of their life. So it’s no surprise to hear that his debut Fabric mix represents his style of frantically smooth mixing, as 31 tracks are carefully cajoled together in just over an hour. Thematically, it follows a neat path, starting with some seasoned bangers (DC Breaks and a VIP mix of Optiv and BTK’s ‘Understand’), before emerging into a lush mid-section featuring stand out cuts from Total Science and Technimatic, before ramping up the energy again with a final knock-out combo of DJ Hazard and Noisia. Andy C might be the King of drum and bass, but this calling card will have the RAM head honcho looking nervously over his shoulder.

Andy Buchan

Gold Panda – Half of Where You Live Electronic, House, Ambient I www.iamgoldpanda.com



With his profile riding high after appearing on Daft Punk’s latest album (we still think R.A.M is pony, even after repeated listens), London-born producer Gold Panda returns with his second album. Where his debut offering, the Mercury nominated Lucky Shiner, was a mish mash of inventive ideas Half of… is a more streamlined offering with fewer off-kilter dynamics and skippable tracks. With lush dynamics throughout, and crackling, rough-and-ready production, tracks like ‘Junk City II’, ‘ We Work Nights’ and ‘An English House’ sparkle with the same multi-cultural appeal as Lucky Shine, but without the slightly manic samples. It makes for a more satisfying journey as the largely downtempo album is allowed to breathe and flourish without any overly-dominating flavours. Impressive.

Look and Listen ALBUM BITES MUUI – Between the Lines

Electronic/Ambient/House I soundcloud.com/muui-music/muuioutside-the-lines-album

For more Album Reviews go to www.infusion.ae



Dance music isn’t just about heavy 4/4 beats and repetitive percussion.

And listening to MUUI’s debut album, that’s never been more apparent as vintage synths, half-heard vocals and shimmering production combine to create a magical electronic album.

MUUI’s alter ego, Patrik Carrera, has already helped shape Dubai’s club scene first at Sanctuary and now at Armani Prive, and after several years of hard work has finally got his sonic thoughts down on Between The Lines. Endlessly inventive, each track swaggers with more ideas in a minute than most pop records have in an hour.

And the DJs out there will be all over tracks like ‘Time Goes By,’ with its stuttered piano groove, while ‘Colour Outside The Line’ sounds like a more straightlaced Four Tet. If you’re a fan of Gold Panda, Mount Kimbie or John Talabot, check out and support this excellent album.

MUSIC THAT MATTERS

Send tracks/edits/remixes to andy@infusion.ae

Stu Laurie – Dubai Summer Anthems The ex Chameleon resident, and now new DJ at Donatellos takes us through his big summer tunes, with deep, vocal flavours to the fore.

Soundcloud.com/stulaurie Tim Hassall – Travelling Song If there’s a better Dubai singer songwriter out there, we’ve yet to hear them as Tim’s gorgeous country song wouldn’t sound out of place on the new Arcade Fire album. soundcloud.com/timhassall DJ Yass – 50 Shades of Deep Quality deep house mix, that takes in big hitters from Breach, Joris Voorn, MK, Nick Curly and more. soundcloud.com/yassdubai/50-shades-of-deep-part-3 Adam J ft Amelle Berrabah & The Nightcrashers – Love Is All We Need Very pop friendly dance music that pushes all the peak-hour buttons, with Mizuki dropping an impressive dubstep remix on the package. soundcloud.com/djadamj1 Kristian Valdini – 806 Apt Session Deep/vocal/afro and dub mix recorded live from the soulinfused DJ. soundcloud.com/kvaldini/806apt-session_aug-2013

DJ Booth: Kung Foo Panda

He’s the Kung Foo Panda, AKA DJ East, a DJ and VJ who prides himself on his old skool skills. And with gigs for Tiger Beer, Bassworx and Infusion under his belt, one you’ll be seeing/hearing a lot from.

One thing you might not know about me is… My day job is as a senior architect and master planner. I worked on designs for Ferrari World.

My worst ever job was... Where my boss played 5 prog-rock albums for 2 years every day. I can’t listen to the Eagles, Pink Floyd and Peter Frampton ever again.

My favorite ever record is... Masters At work, ‘Nu Yorican Soul’.

If I was to be left on a desert island with one album it would be this, an amazing blend of genres and beautifully produced with amazing vocals and melodies.

DJing is much like... Cooking, you need to know your ingredients and like your food. But it takes practise and people for you to perfect your skills. It takes honest feedback from your peers to push you to be better.

Dubai’s clubbing scene is... More eclectic than it used to be, but still needs promoters and clubs to support local resident DJs and musicians to encourage development and pride in music from the region and the blend this brings. This is what I miss about the London scene where I learned my trade.

I’m really proud of... My Mrs and kids, who support me in what I do and are proud of what I represent.

If I could change one thing about anything it would be... The cost of communication.

I can’t live without... My technics 1200 turntables. It took a long time to get them and they are the same ones I’ve always had.

My biggest DJ achievement to date is… To have run my own Hip hop night in Dubai, Bounce.

If you could DJ in any decade which would it be... The 80s, creative genius and all samples were new.

I’m not a politician but... I do talk a lot. facebook.com/#!/kungfoo.panda.9 mixcloud.com/kungfoopanda9 www.facebook.com/clubbeats

Soundstage

DIA

You’ll know him as the gravelthroated lead singer of one of Dubai’s leading bands Juliana Down, but he’s also started his own solo project which delves into dubstep and darker electronic territory. Infusion sat down with Dia to find out more…

How does your sound differ from Juliana Down?

JD was always identified as a rock band, the sound that I’m going for is with no boundaries, and I’m loving that flexibility of working on any sound that appeals to me.

Being a musician in Dubai is much like... People think we live like rockstars. Our friends don’t know where we are (look in the studio next time), and we get paid less than the man selling cheese burger at the concert, but we still love the thrill and do it for the people!

What are you most afraid of as a musician?

Running out of creative juice, sitting down with a guitar or piano and not being able to write anything is my nightmare.

Who do you look up to in the music world?

Obama, as I’m sure he secretly writes all Jay Z’s music!

My first musical influence was... I grew up listening to a lot of rock bands, Def Leppard, Guns’n’Roses, Foo Fighters and many more. But today I’m open to most genres and specifically intrigued by electronic music.

The best way to get noticed in Dubai is... Wear a hat! Or ride a bicycle.

What’s the best gig you’ve played?

Playing in front of 30,000 people at the Guns’n’Roses concert was amazing, but also playing in Hollywood last year was a lot of fun.

And the worst?

Probably a show back in high-school. I got dumped after the show, I didn’t think I was that bad!

Band motto?

Aim for a new impossible everyday.

What’s the one thing you wouldn’t endorse?

War. Final last words... Peace, Love, and go make some babies while you listen to our music… julianadown.net soundcloud.com/dia-hassan

Kristian Valdini 806 Top 10 1. Louie Vega ft Sara Devine Fabulous (Dance Ritual Dub) 2. Wyoma - African Healing Dance (Atjazz Mix) 3. DJ Steaw - Sky Hunt 4. Claes Rosen – Daydreaming 5. Cyclist - Shine (Rogue Vogue Mix) 6. Rotty - Yeah I Love 7. Detroit Swindle -The Breakup 8. Still Going - Still Going Theme 9. Jazzanova - Dance The Dance (Atjazz mix) 10. Havana Cultura Band - Orisa (Atjazz Love Soul Mix)

Danny Whitlock Gaucho/XL Beach Club 1. Jamie Antonelli - Divine 2. Cari Golden - No Compromise 3. Siwell - Tech This Out 4. Ant Brooks - Kipon 5. Stefano Mango - I Got Da Funk 6. Sidney Charles – Need 7. UMEK - Love To Dance 8. DJ Boris - Funky Beat 9. Do Santos - Only Bass 10. Paul Woolford – Untitled

DJ Firat Radi White X Beach & Lounge 1. Dusky - No Body Else 2. German Brigante & Samuel Dan - Again 3. M A N I K - Sold My Soul (Original Mix) 4. Sascha Braemer - You (Finnebassen Remix) 5. Yousef ft Alexander East-Think Twice (Fred Everything Lazy Vox) 6. Kate Simko -Lost In London 7. Disclosure - My Intention Is War Fig II 8. Supacooks - Anthill (Giom Remix) 9. Jay West &Manuel Sahagun Fool Me (Andre Crom Remix) 10. David Keno - A Compliment (Gorge Remix) John Spoor Sessions

1. Paul Sherriff - Ghetto Ruff - Musol 2. Grant Nalder - Sunshine 3. Rise - The Way We Get Down 4. Chris Brown - Fine China (Shane D) 5. Mike Scot, Richard Earnshaw & Chappell - Tonight (Classic Vocal Mix) 6. Duke - So In Love With You (Samir Maslo Edit) 7. The Str8jackets ft. Michelle Weeks Sunny with a Chance of Burning (T!ME Remix) 8. Booker T & Katherine Ellis - Give Me Joy (Rhemi Remix) 9. Steve “Silk” Hurley & The Voices of Life - The Word is Love (Shane D) 10. Husky - The Bobbin Head EP

To submit your Top 10, send in the below format to andy@infusion.ae

FIRE & SPICE DANCE WEEKEND

10 PM

11 PM

12 AM

STARTING 15TH AUGUST, 2013 THURSDAY 10PM - 2AM, FRIDAY 10PM - 2AM

3

INTERNATIONAL DJs

RADIO SHOWS

1

STATION

AUGUST 22

Looking

CLOSER Opinions, thoughts and jiberish...

> Weird News > Thinking Inside the Box > Pan Arabia Enquirer > Films > Big Q > Angry Monkey

Thinking

inside

the box

With summer still in full swing, and the big events still to kick off, it’s still prime-time TV, erm, time. Which is why we’ve trawled our back catalogue and sat through our favourite 9 best box sets for your pleasure.

Words: Andy Buchan + Monique Belle The Wire

If only American drug policy Tsars paid attention to this ground-breaking Baltimore-set drug and crime drama, the world would be in a much better place.

With each series focussing on a different aspect of drug culture – from the streets, all the way up to politics and law – this slowmoving but beautifully crafted series is unmissable TV at its genuflecting best, while also launching the careers of Idris Elba and Dominic West.

Fun fact: Corrupt senator Clay Davis’s catchphrase, ‘Sheeeeeeee-it’ wasn’t in the original script, and was improvised by the actor, Isiah Whitlock Jr.

Archer

While animated series like Family Guy and The Simpsons proved that cartoons aren’t just for kids, Archer has taken this a step further and introduced a fully grown up spy world inhabited by the outrageously incompetent ISIS spy team.

Helmed by Archer, an alcoholic, womanizing, shambolic James Bond, the show follows his team’s beautifully rendered and bad-mouthed exploits in espionage, with no un-PC gag left unsaid.

Fun fact: Most of the voices are supplied by the Arrested Development cast, with the stand out being Lucille Bluth’s caustic, alcoholic take on Archer’s mother (much like Arrested Development, then).

The Sopranos

With the death of Sopranos star James Ganndolfini recently, there’s never been a better time to re-watch or (shock horror!)

lose your Sopranos virginity.

Ostensibly about a mob family in New Jersey, the beauty of The Sopranos lies in its dramatic scope (each episode is packed full of gorgeous imagery and never-seen-before metaphors) while even without the waste management, drugs and deaths, it would work just as well as a family drama such is the well-written tension.

Game-changing TV. Fun fact: The long-running HBO series is the most financially successful cable series of all time, and won 21 Emmys and 5 Golden Globes.

Mad Men

Detractors might complain that essentially, nothing happens in this 60s set series following advertising execs, and that the zen-like focus on main Mad Man Don Draper is myopic in the extreme. That totally misses the point, however: the sedate but never sluggish pace simply draws you in, while the historical context – not to

mention the attention to detail shown throughout the sets – is mesmerizing. And let’s not forget that Don Draper is the world’s greatest anti-hero, the man you love then hate, then love to hate.

Fun fact: Elisabeth Moss, who plays Peggy, got her first big break in cinema starring opposite Hulk Hogan in Suburban Commandos 2. Everyone’s got to start somewhere, right.

Arrested Development

The freshest, oddest and most tightly written comedy on TV, Arrested Development almost didn’t make it after 3 poorly viewed series on Fox led to its cancellation.

But Netflix recently resurrected this tale of the ultra dysfunctional Bluth family-run

business after they lost their fortune. It might take a few episodes for the 100mph gags and endless in-jokes to register, but once they have you’ll be a virtual member of the Bluth family for life.

Fun fact: The series narrator – and series producer – is none other than Ron Howard, ex-Happy Days star turned A Beautiful Mind/Cocoon/Da Vinci Code director.

Veep

Two myths: Americans can’t do satire, and American translations of British comedies stink. Veep blows both out of the water, proving to be a side-splitting satire on the virtually redundant role of Vice President in America and the politics of politics. And by updating The Thick Of It’s Britishness for an American audience, it loses none of its impact. Crucially, it’s so sharply written it has more gags that you’ll miss than most comedy series have full stop.

Fun fact: A lot of the script is improvised, as the actors spent months in rehearsal getting to grips with their character interactions.

Walking Dead

If you're an avid Zombie fanatic like us with your bug-out bag in your boot but you haven’t watched this series yet then you deserve to be eaten, eyeballs first when the apocalypse arrives. This is by far the best thing on the telly for a very long time and British actor Andrew Lincoln gives a stunning performance as Officer Rick Grimes, protector of the living.

Fun fact: Actors who play walkers - they're never called zombies in this series - have to go through 'zombie school' to learn how to walk and move like a walker.

Boardwalk Empire

There are several reasons to give this 1920s set HBO series a go: Steve Buscemi kicks ass in the prohibition gangster drama as he is no longer the creepy distant cousin but rather head of an alcohol

smuggling ring with little to no mercy for anyone who gets in his way. The wardrobes and the gun fight scenes are amazing.

Oh, and Kelly MacDonald. Your girlfriend probably won’t like it, but if you ever wanted a quiet night in with a few beers and a chunky cigar this is the one for you.

Fun fact: This Atlantic City set series is loosely based on real life characters and history.

Breaking Bad

If only Chemistry class was this exciting back in school.

Not only would it have been loads more fun, but we also might have had a better understanding of fractions and actually passed GCSE maths. Breaking Bad follows the story of loveable Chemistry teacher Walter White who turns bad after he finds out he has cancer and turns to making crystal meth to help provide for his family when he's gone.

Fun fact: Bryan 'Malcom in the Middle' Cranston was cast for the series after producers saw him act on an X Files episode.

Looking Closer

Weird News...

Sieve and let live

A man who claims his religion forces him to wear a sieve on his head has been allowed to use a photo of himself in the bizarre headgear on his official ID card. Lukas Novy - from the Czech Republic - claims that his Pastafarian faith means he has to wear the sieve at all times.

Novy claims it’s all part of his Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster religion, WEIRD BITES but after initially declining his request, Mice are built to surf officials found that the application “complies with the laws of the Czech and skate because Republic where headgear for religious or their centre of gravity is so low. medical reasons is permitted if it does not hide the face.”

Aussie Shane Willmott has built a Dog days mouse-sized skate are over park in his back garden, and trained Balaclava? Check. his furry daredevils to get sick air on their Crowbar? Check.

Pet Chihuahua? toy skateboards.

Check. So went the We think someone preparations of one needs to become a would-be burglar Dad sooner, rather in America, who took than later… his pet Chihuahua with him as he robbed a local restaurant in San Antonio. The 42 year old broke in, then raided the jukebox for change, before police arrived on the scene. The burglar did manage to evade them until his pet dog let out a startled yelp in the undergrowth they were hiding in, and were promptly (dog) collared.

AUGUST 22

panarabiaenquirer.com

Chaos at champagne shower party after guests sprayed with wrong vintage

DUBAI: There were ugly scenes at a Dubai beach club last night after issues arose regarding the vintage of the products being sprayed in a champagne shower.

Chaos erupted around 8pm at the VVVVIP Platinum Champagne Shower Pool Party held at the Mega Beach Resort when several guests noticed that they were being sprayed with Dom Perignon Magnum Vintage 2002 while others were being showered with the marginally more expensive Dom Perignon Magnum Vintage 2000.

“It was just revolting, a real kick in the face,” said Fadi FlatWhite, a Lebanese marketing manager. “When we discovered that we were being showered with a less exclusive vintage while others were soaked in more expensive and desirable champagne, we were quite naturally very upset.”

Eyewitnesses claimed that there had initially been strong language and shouting aimed at the waiting staff, before several guests reportedly tried to take the more expensive champagne by force.

“It was just carnage. People were being pushed in the pool clutching the bottles,” said one.

Eventually, party organisers managed to calm the situation by agreeing to add an extra V to the VVVVVIP in the name and using bigger fireworks with each drink order.

The Pan-Arabia Enquirer is the Middle East’s premier source of satirical news.

This means that it’s entirely made up and not intended, in any way whatsoever, to be taken as factual.

MOVIE Wolverine Even super heros can suffer an existential crisis, as Wolverine questions his purpose in mid-life in this so-so action film. Set in Japan, it ticks every cinematic clichĂŠ going, but as ever, Hugh Jackman delivers the action man goods.

Classification: PG-13 Director: James Mangold Starring: Hugh Jackman

The Conjuring

One of the better horrors in recent time, as Saw director darkly tells the story of a family trapped by a dark presence in their farmhouse. With strong action and keen horror throughout, this should get adrenaline junkies jumping out of their seats. Boo! Classification: 18 Director: James Wan Starring: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor

PREVIEWS Straight A’s

Sadly the run of good post-Eid films doesn’t continue, as this Ryan Philippe vehicle (remember him?) finds him talking to his dead mother’s ghost while battling drug addiction.

Director: James Cox Starring: Anna Paquin, Ryan Phillippe, Luke Wilson

Kick Ass 2 Another super hero film, but with a sizeable twist: following on from the well received debut, a bunch of vigilante teenagers don capes and tights and battle with the dastardly Red Mist. Foul-mouthed, funny and knowing, it’s a neat twist on a classic genre.

Classification: 18 Director: Jeff Wadlow Starring: Chloe Grace Moretz, Jim Carrey

Looking Closer

THE BIG

QUESTION Is DJing an artform?

Marko Smokingroove: Without doubt!

Jmaxlolo: Yes... coz there’s more to the craft than just pushing buttons and getting music to sync.

Conan Manchester: I’d say that if you look at the true definition of art, the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, then yes it is an artform. However, I quote Noel Coward here “One who practises art is not necessarily an artist”. This has never been more true when applied to DJing.

Ram Nath: Any public performance is a form of art.

Ahmed Ismail: With enough practice, anyone can sync music, adjust levels, beat match etc. The real art of being a DJ is to select, but not only that...

Timing and order provide a vibe and ambiance which dictates people’s feelings and emotions.

El Lobito: DJing is definitely an artform which like any artform has been cheapened and commercialised, I guess there are so many bad DJs out there that it makes us even ask the question.

Mark Pickup: Absolutely.