MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE GUIDE Sep 29 2013 - Oct 13 2013 l Issue #208 l www.infusion.ae l EST 2005
Bug's life
Steve Bug, Droog and DJ Koze get their Bicep, James Zabiela, Creamfields, Mi Casa, Afrika Bambaataa, Mike Tyson, The Pan-Arabia Enquirer and much more!
Friday 04 October 2013
REVEREND AND THE MAKERS Supported By:
Sandwash
Beat Antenna
Mark Evans
/OHMevents organized by
online ticketing partner
www.ohmevents.com
Admission starts from 9pm / 21 + only Contact: 050 725 8277 For reservations call 04 359 8888 www.themusicroomdubai.com
28414392
WE ARE LIVE MUSIC
The Music Room
stage for great entertainment Majestic Hotel Tower - Mankhool Road, Bur Dubai
ABOVEº 04.10
BELOWº
BICEP
WITH
(FEEL MY BICEP/AUS MUSIC)
JULIAN JINX | RAXON 11.10
KASPAROV
PRESENTS
PRESENTS
NATIVE TRISTAN BAIN | VAS FLOYD | MR MR 18.10
STANTON WARRIORS
NATIVE MARKII | DAN CHADWICK
TEENAGE MUTANTS
(OFF RECORDINGS | STILL VOR TALENT)
25.10
JC | RICH SHOWELL
SAM FARSIO & HAIDZ
TUBE & BERGER
EATS RETRO CLASSICS
RUSS COOPER | ROD LEE WINTERS
MARK PICKUP
(KITBALL RECORDS)
The multi award winning 11 hour party returns for it’s 8th Season at 360º, the region›s longest standing weekly event playing a unique soundtrack from classic sunset sounds through to cutting edge forward thinking House Music delivered by weekly International guests and its trusted resident DJ roster. 360º, Jumeirah Beach Hotel 1600 – 0300 21+ Please bring valid I.D. Guest List (4pm – 8pm) available at Platinumlist.net/360
For table reservations call: +971 (0)56 682 6617 More info: info@audiotonic.net audiotonic.net 360dubai.com facebook.com/audiotonic facebook.com/360dubai twitter.com/audio_tonic twitter.com/360dubai soundcloud.com/audiotonic
04.10
SEASON VIII LAUNCH PARTY
ABOVEº
BICEP
(AUS MUSIC)
JULIAN JINX | RAXON BELOWº
BREAKIN EVEN WITH STANTON WARRIORS KASPAROV NEW FOR FRIDAY’S BELOWº
Call our reservations team for details
THE 360º SUNSET BRUNCH
360º SUPPER SESSIONS
From 1300 with Tristan Bain & Conan Manchester
From 1900 with Dan Chadwick & Danny Kwang
The multi award winning 11 hour party returns for it’s 8th Season at 360º, the region›s longest standing weekly event playing a unique soundtrack from classic sunset sounds through to cutting edge forward thinking House Music delivered by weekly International guests and its trusted resident DJ roster. 360º, Jumeirah Beach Hotel 1600 – 0300 21+ Please bring valid I.D. Guest List (4pm – 8pm) available at Platinumlist.net/360
For table reservations call: +971 (0)56 682 6617 More info: info@audiotonic.net audiotonic.net 360dubai.com facebook.com/audiotonic facebook.com/360dubai twitter.com/audio_tonic twitter.com/360dubai soundcloud.com/audiotonic
A Note From The Editor
Editor-in-chief: Talal Budebs Managing Partner: Charl Chaka charlchaka@infusion.ae Editor: Andy Buchan andy@infusion.ae Sales Director: Vip Patel Vip@infusion.ae 050 169 8712 Contributors: Nthayi Tshehle, Richard Perez, Mach 4, Pan-Arabia Enquirer
Outrageous. In one 48 hour period from October 3-4, Dubai is welcoming Bicep, Stanton Warriors, James Zabiela, Reverend and the Makers, Rick Ross, Nick Curly, Uner and Deadly Hunta, spanning house, breaks, indie, hip hop and reggae. And that’s not to mention all the homegrown, regular nights taking place as normal. We’re on top of all that action, as we’ve got interviews with hot house duo Bicep, and also get technical with DJ wizard James Zabiela. We’ve also found time to chat to our cover star Steve Bug, and phoned up our Full Moon headliners, the live house trio from South Africa, Mi Casa who are destined for big things. We’ve also got all your essential news, club, album and film reviews, DJ gossip, Angry Monkey musings and lots more. Andy
Design: Allan (Jmaxlolo) Tinsay Grown-up stuff: Infusion is published by Milehigh Media, LLC PO Box 53443 – Dubai, UAE Contact us: Tel/Fax: 04 368 8098
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BACK Retrospective on what’s been happening in our world.
> What We Did > Say What? > Photo Gallery
Looking Back
What we did Black Coffee @ House of Afrika, Dek on 8
Too hot to party outside in the middle of September? Not judging by the round-the-block queues for Black Coffee as Dek on 8 was at capacity from early on. And the South African DJ was on top form, dropping a near 3 hour set that touched on deep, soulful and tech notes, with Charl Chaka and Nthayi offering able support. And with the Void soundsystem installed for the night, the clear punchy noise was heard all the way down to the bottom of the pool (and beyond), at least giving those queuing a taste of the action.
2Liv launch @ Sofitel, The Palm
With Nasimi, N’Dulge, The Supperclub and the Music Hall, there’s no shortage of late night venues on the Palm these days. And they’re now joined by the latest, 2Liv, a split level club that bears a passing resemblance to Armani Prive with its dominating dancefloor screen and overhanging mezzanine. Opening night featured the residents, Ejaz and Alex Seda who were perched in a hanging DJ booth, and played a mixed bag of house, with some hip hop and RnB as the night drew on. With the complimentary Champagne helping the dancefloor ignite, it quickly turned into a proper club night. And with the outdoor terrace set to open soon, 2Liv looks like being a permanent Palm party venue.
Looking Back Mach 4, @ Fabric London How did this set compare to previous times? Having been fortunate enough to play there a few times now, I have kind of got used to the booth and how much sound is in there (around 5k of speakers!). This time the queue was already right round the block so the room filled up pretty quickly so I had to ‘go in’ pretty much from the start as UK crowds are knowledgable and you have to play upfront tunes and dub they haven’t known mixed in with a few classics. Having played in London and Dubai, how do the crowds differ – are we hungrier for good DnB? As mentioned, the crowds in the UK are surrounded by music week in, week out and are very expectant and want to hear fresh beats. That said they appreciate a good selection of tunes and I was throwing in a few tracks from 10/12 years back that still get a BIG reaction. Here in Dubai I would say the crowds are getting more knowledgable (thanks to the internet) and we (GlobalFunk) have a great cross section of fans so you can be a bit more experimental these days. Who was the highlight on the bill, who dropped good sets? dBridge and SP MC in room 1 was pretty special. His energy, passion and selection of music is on point. SP is also a great MC who knows when to let the music do the talking and allows the set to breath. Marcus Intalex also dropped a pretty incredible set in Room 3. He is probably one of the most underrated DJs in the scene but testament to his respect is when the likes of Shy FX, Stamina MC, Dub Phizix, Strategy, Ed Rush and Alix Perez cram into the booth to see him play.
FEATURING Dubai’s no.1 Irish Entertainer “Paddy Man” and The Music Room’s Resident DJ Sean
Looking Back Have you worked your way up the bill, will you be headlining in 10 years? Haha, no, I’m still on the opening slot (which is great as I get to enjoy the rest of the night) although it did look at one stage as if I would have to cover for Shy FX in Room 1 as they were late from another gig but just as I was reaching for my headphones him and Stamina landed in the booth. SOOOOOO close…! How important is the sound at Fabric to what they do? Where comes closest to replicating it in Dubai? I think the club is more renowned for its sound than any other club these days and they have got it spot on. Sound in any venue is the single most important element to any venue but it also has to have the right sound treatment to accompany it. There is no point in having a 20k system if it’s not set up properly. For a while Alpha had the best system in Dubai (iBO wan’t bad either in its day!) but now most nights that put a real value on their sound quality bring in a system from an external supplier or add to what is existing in a venue. Dubai is still too obsessed about the
PhotoS BY: facebook.com/MattTerreyPhotography
interior of the club, but any great club is built around sound as its foundation. That mentality is coming slowly, but the hotels and venue owners would rather have leather this and chandelier that before a head of subs and large top cabinets. I can name some pretty high profile venues in Dubai that have utterly s*** sound. It’s the last thing the management want to sound money on. Special thanks to Matt Terrey for the snaps, Sya and Steffi Bow and Tim ‘Woodle’ Woodstock and his crew for the support on the night. Dubai was definitely well represented inside Fabric!
Old jokes home I’m trying to sell all my old dogging equipment on eBay.Not had any bids but there are loads of people watching.
Word to the wise… To all the Kids that failed GCSE’s recently, two things: You tried your best and I don’t want gherkins on my Big Mac.
Easy riders
Money talk Real Madrid might have broken the football world transfer record when they bought Gareth Bale for 100 million euros, but if they’d shopped around a bit, this is what else they could have bought… 25 million plates of patatas bravas, one of Spain’s national dishes Paid the salaries for 3,703 out of work employees for a year (Spain has crippling youth unemployment) Double the government subsidies for culture.
It’s always a sad day when pop’s most legendary boozers decide to let their livers dry out, and both Duran Duran and Diana Ross have struck alcohol from recent riders. Le Bon and le boys are asking for all alcohol to be removed from their minibars and replaced with spring water. Diana Ross is asking for hot water, lemons and a very specific honey that comes in a bear-shaped squeezy bottle. Her request for a large Haagen Dazs butter pecan icecream and spoon is still there though. We all need a little vice, after all.
Boombox ft DJ Maseo (De la Soul) @ Music Room
Cosmic Gate @ CHI Domeland
2Liv Launch Party @ Palm Sofitel
No.1 Fridays @ N’Dulge
Thursday @ People By Crystal
Looking FORWARD Where we filter out the best things that are coming your way...
> Local News > Cover Story > Musical Muscle > Behind the DJ: James Zabiela
Looking Forward
Local News Creamfields announces 2013 headliners
Creamfields organisers have changed their festival template this year and ignored their trusted bookings of David Guetta, Deadmau5 and Tiesto and instead opted for the bombastic live show of The Prodigy. Alongside the ‘Firestarter’ trio, Flash have announced that Calvin Harris will be returning with a headline DJ show, while we’ve had it on good authority that UK dance duo Disclosure are likely to be confirmed as another live act. It all takes place on Friday December 13 at the du Arena on Yas Island, early bird ticket are Dhs275 from http://www.thinkflash.ae.
Audio tonic line up
Audio tonic might have been running Below at 360 over the summer, but it’s bringing its full weight to bear now that both levels are open, with the official season launch party on Thursday October 3 featuring Nick Curly. Audio tonic are on hand the following day, with hotly tipped house duo Bicep headlining upstairs at 8pm, while The Stanton Warriors are on the main shift for new breakbeat night Breakin’ Even. Alongside that, the club has also re-vamped its day time offerings, with a sunset brunch soundtracked by Conan Manchester and Tristan Bain from 1-4pm, followed by the 7-11pm supper sessions with Dan Chadwick and Danny Kwang dropping feel good house music.
PRESENTS
FT MC LOWQUI
www.goldie.co.uk
Thursday 17th October Support from MACH4, Sya One, Charl Chaka, MC Ollywood & MC Prit. Free entrance for privilege card holders from 9-10pm. AED 100 for everyone else from 9pm onwards. +21.
@InfusionMag I @globalfunkdxb facebook.com/infusionmagazine facebook.com/globalfunkDXB facebook.com/themusicroom
For reservations call 056 799 6335
Looking Forward It began in Afrika…
We’re never ones to be shy about shouting about our events, but we’ve even more reason to shout loud and proud as for our 8th birthday celebrations on Friday December 6, we’ve managed to confirm a headline slot from one of hip hop and dance music’s true pioneers, Afrika Bambaataa. And we’ve paired him up with another American of dance music, Detroit’s very own Moodymann. It all takes place at the amazingly funky car park at the Media One hotel, and rest assured we’ll be bringing you plenty more on this!
Tyson returns to action
Remember Mike Tyson, the fearsome, ear-chewing fighter? Well, then he became Mike Tyson the joke, the drunk and the comic extra in the Hangover all too visibly just playing himself. And he’s now telling his full story in Mike Tyson, the Undisputed Truth. Directed by Oscar nominee Spike Lee, it’s a one man show looking at the man in and out of the ring. The show has already had a short run on Broadway, while renowned cable channel HBO also filmed the performance to screen. It all takes place from November 6 at the World Trade Centre, with tickets Dhs250 from tixbox.com.
ROLL MASTER
Rolled by sho cho’s renowned Roll Master with your own combination of super fresh ingredients. Simply design, order and pay online. Then our speedy delivery Ninja’s will suddenly appear at your door. Let’s Roll!
Call 800 SUSHI (78744) or visit chezshushi.com Eat or collect at our restaurant. Find us at Shop 18, Wasl Square, (opposite Safa Park) Al Wasl Road, Dubai.
Looking Forward Rumours • The Lumineers have been confirmed to play a Valentine’s Day gig next year. • The Chill Out Festival is set to return in December this year. •
Renowned Dutch house night Sensation – which has a strict all white dress code – is coming to Dubai in the near future.
• Olly Murs is the first name to be confirmed for next year’s Jazz Festival line up. •
Mike Skinner has been confirmed for a DJ set at new bass and house night Superheroes at the start of November.
23 Kuwait Street, Port Rashid Dubai T: +971 4 3868111 melia.dubai@melia.com
Looking Cirque gets funky
Firmly established as one of Sheikh Zayed Road’s best clubs, Cirque Le Soir also have one of the best ladies nights in town. And this October, they’re going all out with the big name funky house bookings as ‘Put ‘Em High’ producer Stonebridge plays on October 8, with Full Intention following up the week after, with Milk and Sugar and Sean Finn confirmed for later in the month.
Big ups to Juliana Down and Hamdan Al Abri, who have been nominated as one of the best Middle East acts at the upcoming MTV EMA’s in Amsterdam. Huge news, and well done! F1 fever is building, have you sorted out your yacht parties yet? Our new all singing, all dancing website infusion. ae is looking rather ace, with more content than you could shake a typewriter at.
Club names: are promoters really that bereft of ideas, that they think sticking a The infront of the blatantly stolen club name – say, for example, Fabric – is really going to work? Office colds, meaning it sounds like a marching brass band at Infusion HQ as everyone is blowing their hooter every 5 minutes.
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In just a short space of time, the Groove on the Grass team have brought a fresh element to the night life scene thanks to their creative bookings, and even more creative location as you party smack bang in the middle of the Emirates Golf Course. And the October 11 party comes with 2 arenas, Funktion 1 sound and an art bazar. Not only that, they’ve also pulled together their biggest line up yet of Steve Bug, Droog and DJ Koze. We caught up with one third of Droog, Andrei Osyka and the Poker Flat head honcho to find out more‌
STEVE BUG
Get your
Steve Bug
Welcome to Dubai – you were here a couple of years ago, good memories? Sure, I had a great evening last time. And how has your music and your sets changed in that time? That is hard to say, my sets vary all the time, I play everything from deephouse to techno depending on the event. I always stay open-minded for new sounds, so you could say I play more of the classic sounding house vibe these days. If you were just setting out in the Djing world, what advice would you give a younger you? Work hard, stay focused, do what you feel, don’t follow trends, look for long term relationships in the business, don’t jump from tree to tree, do your homework practice your DJ skills and pay attention your social networking. Stay relaxed, you don’t wanna become popular too fast, the slower your profile grows, the longer you’ll be up there if you actually make it. You were a prominent figure in the rise of minimal techno – what did you make of that period? Not sure what the question is asking here :)
What have been the best parties you’ve played this year? And what expectations do you have about your upcoming gig in Dubai? I never have expectations, this way I am never disappointed too much. I just came back from Argentina, I had a blast over there. The Block in Israel was definitely another highlight these year. You used to be a hair dressers – how would you describe your music as a hairstyle? A timeless, technically almost perfect cut. Lol. Richie Hawtin has been criticised recently as people think he has started selling out – is that a case of techno fans getting too precious about a DJ’s success? The bigger your name, the more haters you have. Most people are jealous of success and think they have to share their feelings in the social media. I mean honestly, why are people even bothering if they do not like it. They spend so much time spreading their bad energy instead of doing something themselves. I can’t stand these complainers, until you haven’t done anything that’s better than what you are complaining about simply shut up.
And how do you measure your success, any goals still to tick off? I don’t know how to measure success in times where most people do everything to get more likes on social platforms no matter if the likes are real or not. I mean do promoters really book DJs because they have more likes even though they are obviously fake? Do you measure your success by your income? By the amount of gigs? I don’t know, and to be honest I don’t care and I never really did. I make music and I am happy that there are people out there who buy and listen to it and who come out to see me play when I am in their city. I never really wanted to be the next superstar DJ, I am happy with being me and I hope I can continue being an honest artist with enough fans to survive. In general people should be happy with what they have at a certain point. Continuous growth is the worst thing in the world, it creates too many problems for the planet. You’re behind 3 labels at the moment – what differentiates each one? And how are they coping in a very busy climate? Poker Flat is still the mothership, my true love. It is more tech house orientated with elements of classic house and techno with a view on the future. Dessous is the deep house imprint and Audiomatique stands more for the functional, big room sound. But sometimes music varies and could be released on either one of the three. It is not always easy to direct music to one the labels. Luckily I have partners I am running the labels with, without them it would be impossible for me to handle even one label.
A quick word with
Droog…
Welcome to Dubai - Djing on a golf course in the Middle East in Dubai, is this one of the weirder gig set ups for you? Yes, that’s an unusual set-up for sure. We’ve played in plenty of clubs that used to be odd places, like an old Nazi Bunker or a meat locker (Fabric in London used to be that). A golf course is a first, it could be fun, especially if there are golf balls flying over our heads as we DJ! Do open air events affect what you play as opposed to a dark and dirty club set?
What have been the big trends in music you’ve noticed in Ibiza this year? The big sub-bass sound that’s coming from UK is still massive, crowd-pleasing “pop” electronic house is still strong, though it’s had its day and is on the way out it seems; on a more sophisticated tip slightly darker melodic sound of labels like Innervisions and Life and Death is also proving to be very popular this year. DROOG Of course, a confined dark space of a club has its own feeling, compared to an outdoor space. We play open air parties all the time so are quite used to this different vibe, in fact, we often prefer it. What have been the big tracks for you this summer? It’s hard to focus on just a few, there’s been plenty of good music this year. I suppose two of the recent big tracks on Innervisions have been massive, Ten Walls “Gotham” and Agoria’s “Scala.” One of the songs on our label Culprit has been doing the damage too, Justin Jay’s “The Jaguar” - that one definitely feels like summer.
And what should people expect from your set in Dubai? Good dance music that’s right for the setting and mixed with imagination. That’s the intention, at least. Groove on the Grass feat. Steve Bug, Droog and DJ Koze, Friday October 11, Emirates Golf Course, 5pm3am, advance tickets Dhs160 from Platinumlist.ae, Dhs200 on the door.
DJ Koze
It’s a little known fact that one half of big-name house stars Bicep – of the Feel My Bicep blog fame – actually spent a couple of years in Dubai, before leaving our sandy shores when DJing and production turned into a full time job. Now one of the most popular house/disco/techno duos out there, Bicep are back in Dubai and we caught up with Matt McBriar (below, left) to find out more…
Welcome back to Dubai, you used to live and DJ here good memories? Yeah, it’s great to be coming back! Whilst Dubai isn’t quite as ‘underground’ as Europe when it comes to clubbing, it was always great fun DJing here and we definitely had some awesome nights. I’m very interested to see what’s changed. I’ve got so many great friends I haven’t seen in so long too, I’ve heard 360 has had a big makeover too! And how does it feel being paid to fly over and play after being here? Definitely weird that when I left Dubai I was heading back to Europe to try and crack music and now I’m being flown back over. It’s great though, because I get to see all my old friends and catch up whilst technically ‘working’.
It’s been a roller coaster ride for you, what have been the highs of the past few years for you? Some lows were losing 6 months worth of music in a hard drive failure (learnt my lessons about backing up from this) and probably just getting super tired at points from too much travel. But the highs easily outweigh the lows. Getting to tour China and America have been wonderful experiences, including doing a back to back at FYF with Simian Mobile Disco and also playing my favourite club “Panorama Bar” a few times in Berlin. And what have been the ‘pinch me, can’t believe this is happening’ moments? Some of our first ever ‘big scale gigs’ like warming up for Skrillex and staring out over 4,000 people were definite moments, we were like ‘wow’. Also playing a peak time slot at Glastonbury this year, that was awesome.There’s also crazy small gigs where the energy has been so good we’ve really been taken aback. In many ways smaller gigs like Sub Club in Glasgow are always our favourites as you can really interact with the crowd and party with them.
Musically, how has your sound evolved - you brought back the classic 90s sound at the start, where’s your head at the moment? Recently we’ve been playing really tough, slamming disco and working it slowly into techno over two hours. We sometimes play more housey and even sometimes broken beat and jungle type stuff. I think people love to pigeon hole us, but we really just play what tunes we’re currently feelings. I get bored quite quickly so have to move around a lot and try new things. Production wise it’s getting a lot tougher. We’ve invested a lot of money into a full analog studio and can’t stop using the Roland TR-909 for everything! And what’s in the pipeline for you with regards to gigs/ releases/albums? Our new release on our label is about to drop next month and we’re super excited about that. It’ll be much tougher than previous material but with plenty of warmth. We’re also gonna drop a few remixes we’ve been working on pretty soon. An album is something we’re deliberately holding off from, we want to really find our own sound and mature it before attempting an album, we’re our own worst critics and would really like to do something we’re proud of, but it takes time and lots of experimentation
etc. We’re hopefully going to be increasingly working with vocalists and trying to create a much more ‘live’ feel to our music, with the intention of building towards a proper live show next year. You’re renowned as party animals, how have you balanced that and a packed DJ schedule? It’s had to be toned down compared to our old days. That’s not to say we don’t take the chance when it comes up but trawling through airports with no sleep begins to get a little tedious so we pick and choose our battles! Ibiza and Croatia and anything in the UK are always heavy ones due to their usually being a lot of Irish present. And what can people expect when you hit Dubai, what’s big in your sets at the moment? With playing out almost constantly and often to challenging crowds, we’ve developed a set that’s underground enough for us to be happy but grabbing enough that even dance music fans hopefully enjoy it! Robert Hood’s remix of Carl Taylor’s ‘Debbies Groove’ has always been going down a treat! Audio tonic feat. Bicep and Stanton Warriors @ 360, Friday October 4, 4pm-3am.
Behind the DJ:
James
Wanted to know what first inspired technological whizzkid James Zabiela, or which festival he most wants to play? Then we’ve got the answers for you… Dance music today is… Flipping everywhere! My essential piece of kit is… The Pioneer RMX1000. A fun effects unit where you can customise your settings. The DJ that inspired me most when I was growing up was… Sasha. Not so much seeing him in a club, because at the time I was too young to get in, but his mixes and live recordings were really inspiring. Young DJs today are… Lucky in a sense that there are so many options in terms of technological convenience but unlucky because there is now so much in the way of competition as a result. The one track I could drop in every set is… Bodikka ‘&Fate’ (NonPlus).
The best way to get a crowd crazy is… By enjoying yourself. If you have fun as a DJ, it’s contagious for the audience. My best gig this year was at… We Love... At Space in Ibiza last week! The place I still want to play is… Bestival, which is a festival situated right on my doorstep virtually on the Isle of Wight. It’s been going for years and I’ve never had the opportunity to attend. Dubai is… Flaming hot! James Zabiela, Friday October 4, Nasimi, 7pm-2am, Dhs150.
Zabiela
ARTY GUIDE
ONTHE THE RADAR ON RADAR
OCTOBER 17 Globalfunk feat. Goldie, Music Room
OCTOBER 18 Nina Kraviz, Blue Marlin
OCTOBER 19 Rihanna, Du Arena, Yas Island
OCTOBER 18 House of Afrika Full Moon Party feat. Mi Casa, Ralf Gum, Dek on 8
November 1 audio tonic feat. Hot Since 82, 360
November 1 Mike Skinner, Tamanya Terrace
November 6 Mike Tyson, World Trade Centre
November 22 Sunny Vibe Up feat. Craig Charles, Dusk Terrace
December 13 Creamfields, Abu Dhabi
For a full list of what’s on, please head to infusion.ae. Please submit your listings to andy@infusion.ae for possible inclusion.
PARTY GUIDE
November 3 Depeche Mode, F1 After Party, Yas Island
November 15 Sandance feat. Jamiroquai/ Chic, Atlantis
ARTY GUIDE
Monday 30
INFUSION PICK!
The Fridge Concert Series, Tarek Yamani
Beirut born, self-taught jazz pianist Tarek Yamani performs, with Elie Afif on double bass. 8pm, Dhs50.
Cirque Loves Funky House, Cirque Le Soir
Funky house ladies night with Criminal Vibes dropping the beats. 10pm-3am.
En Vogue, Armani Prive
Darko De Jan takes control of this high class ladies night, with complimentary mojitos until 1am for ladies. 10pm-3am.
Pretty Little Singers, VIP Room A themed karaoke night, with complimentary cocktails and canapĂŠs for ladies from 9-12.
St Tro Babes, villa romana Hip hop Mondays, Cirque Du Soir
Bustling early-week party with excellent hip hop vibes from start to finish courtesy of DJ Bliss. 10pm-3am.
Industry Night, XL Beach Club
50% discount for industry people, with free entry for couples and ladies all night. 7pm-3am.
Manic Mondays, Zinc
Greg Stainer and Andy Swift play old and new skull anthems, with a 10pm-midnight happy hour. 10pm-3am, ladies and couples free. Weekly.
Tuesday 1 Oct B:Lush, Media One
4 free drinks for ladies, with Da Sendri dropping funk, soul, disco and house. 7-10pm, free.
Brand new ladies night at the Habtoor Grand venue, with complimentary drinks and canapes from 8pm.
Wednesday 2 Cavalli 54
A new night celebrating the glamour, glitz and excess of the legendary New York club, Studio 54.
Diamond Wednesdays, XL Beach Club
Radio 1’s Brooklyn and DJ Shero on the urban soundtrack, with free Diamond cocktails for ladies until 1am. 9pm-late. Weekly.
The Ultimate Ladies Night, Zinc
One of the most popular ladies nights in town, with free bubbly for ladies before 1am, and house, electro and hip hop. 10pm-late. Weekly. Ladies free, men Dhs75 after midnight. Weekly.
Industry Night, Movida
DJ Mitchell and DJ Nick Waters play back to back at this free entry Industry night. 11pm-3am. Weekly.
Thursday 3 2Liv, Palm Sofitel
The 10,000 square foot, 3 level club with an impressive LED light set up plays pop, house and Top 40. 10pm3am. Weekly, Thursday and Friday.
Analog Room feat. Sierra Sam Q Underground
All things electronic, at this cult weekly Thursday night spot, with Sierra Sam playing live 9pm-3am, Dhs75. Weekly.
Conan Manchester, Loca
Calypso, dub, reggae and urban from a rotating roster of DJs at this popular weekly night. 10pm-3am, ladies free before midnight.
Laughter Factory, Movenpick Jumeirah Beach
Rainer Hersch and Otiz Cannelloni drop the funnies at this long running night. 9pm, Dhs140.
Nick Curly, 360
360 re-opens with German deep house DJ Nick Curly headlining, with support from Tristan Bain and Raxon. 6pm3am, free.
INFUSION PICK! kiko navarro, donatello’s lounge
Soulful deep and tech house from the Pacha regular, and Dubai favourite. 7pm-2am.
Deep Crates, Casa Latina
Popular vinyl-friendly hip hop, funk and soul night led by DJ Lobito. 10pm-3am, free, free wine for ladies 10-12. Weekly.
In Da House feat. David Puentez, Movida
Weekly house party, with complimentary drinks for ladies from 11pm-1am, and German house DJ David Puentez headlining. 11pm3am. Weekly.
Friday 4 Al Murray, World Trade Centre The popular UK comic and ‘Pub landlord’ returns for his near annual visit, for his The Only Way Is Epic tour. 6pm, Dhs300.
PARTY GUIDE
Foot-tapping funk, soul and rock and roll from Conan at one of our favourite bars in town. Weekly Thursday and Friday.
Jamrock, Sublime
ARTY GUIDE
Blue Marlin feat. Uner & Jean Claude Ames
It’s European vibes all round as French-German producer Jean is joined by the returning Uner as Blue Marlin gets into its beach party stride. 11am-11pm, reservation@ bluemarlinibiza-uae.com
INFUSION PICK!
audio tonic feat. Bicep and Stanton Warriors, 360 A big double header as audio tonic returns upstairs and downstairs, with up-coming house duo Bicep on the roof at 8pm, and Stanton Warriors headlining Below. 4pm-3am, free.
#FFriday, Movida
Residents Nick Waters and Mitchell are joined by guests at this high end Sheikh Zayed Road club. 11pm-3am. Weekly.
Laughter Factory, Movenpick Jumeirah Beach
Rainer Hersch and Otiz Cannelloni drop the funnies at this long running night. 9pm, Dhs140.
House of Afrika, Dek on 8
Charl, Just Lance and Nthayi are on deck duty at this celebration of Afro-tinged music. 4pm-3am, free. Weekly.
INFUSION PICK! James Zabiela, Nasimi
A Dubai favourite, and one of the most technical DJs in the world brings his tech house wizardry to Nasimi. 7pm, Dhs150.
Freaks and Beats, Cirque Du Soir
Nick Tohme heads up this weekly night, where entertainment is at the fore. 10pm-3am. Weekly.
INFUSION PICK!
Drop Dread feat. Deadly Hunta & Ghetto Youth Sound, Casa Latina The popular reggae night returns for its monthly installment, brought to you by the Deep Crates Cartel. 10pm-3am, Dhs100.
Massive Urban Fridays, Sensation
Shef Codes and friends hold it down with urban tunes all night. 10.30p-3am, strict dress code no trainers or flip flops. Weekly.
No.1 Fridays, N’Dulge
Urban, hip hop, dubstep and EDM from this popular long-running night. 10pm3am, ladies free before 11pm, Dhs100 after. Weekly.
INFUSION PICK!
Reverend and the Makers, Music Room Live indie and rock from the ‘Heavyweight Champion of the World’ band, with support from Sandwash and Beat Antenna. 8pm, Dhs100.
INFUSION PICK!
Abri and the Funk Radius, Sublime One of the funkiest bands in town play originals and covers at the WTC venue. 9pm-late. Weekly.
Sunstroke Yacht Party, Yacht Club
A 6 DJ line up including John Spoor and Jonny Thornhill on this two-level super yacht. 1-5pm. Dhs375.
INFUSION PICK! Rick Ross, Festival City
Live hip hop from the larger than life man behind ‘Hustlin’ and a string of other big hits. 7pm, Dhs200 early bird tickets.
Blue Marlin Saturday Brunch
Ultimate Fridays, XL Beach Club
Party vibes and an EDM soundtrack at this all day/night pool party. 3pm-3am, Dhs100. Weekly.
Saturday 5 411, People By Crystal DJ Bliss and friends are back closing the weekend in style with their urban, hip hop mashup. 10pm-3am. Weekly.
Destination, Zinc
UK Garage, Funky house and urban with Richie D and Mister Ash. 10pm-3am. Weekly.
Homegrown, 360
Funk and soul through to house vibes, with a 6-8pm happy hour. 6pm-3am, free.
La Vida, Rare
A new Saturday night venture showcasing the deeper side of house and tech house. 9pm-late, 2-for-1 drink deals. Weekly.
PARTY GUIDE
Wind down your weekend with live cooking stations and free flowing Spanish sangria. 1pm-5.30pm, Dhs240-285, reservation@bluemarlinibizauae.com
ARTY GUIDE
Monday 7
INFUSION PICK!
Hip hop Mondays feat. DJ Lantern, Cirque Le Soir
New York DJ, and Eminem’s official tour DJ, headlines this weekly celebration of hip hop.
Thursday 10 Irish Village 17th birthday
The Maplejacks and Marky Mark supply the tunes, while there are Dhs17 drinks all night.
Laughter Factory, Grand Millenium Tecom
Rainer Hersch and Otiz Cannelloni drop the funnies at this long running night. 9pm, Dhs140.
Ravelations feat. Growling Mad Scientists, Domeland The Fridge Concert Series, Jason Carter
Fridge favourite, Jason Carter is back in Dubai (his former hometown) with his unique 18-string harp guitar. 8pm, Dhs50.
Tuesday 8
INFUSION PICK!
Cirque Loves Funky House, Cirque Le Soir
Funky house ladies night with ‘Put ‘Em High’ Swedish producer Stonebridge headlining. 10pm-3am.
Wednesday 9 Laughter Factory, Zinc
Rainer Hersch and Otiz Cannelloni drop the funnies at this long running night. 9pm, Dhs140.
Psy trance from this monthly night, with the Dutch GMS Djs headlining. 9pm-3am, Dhs125 on the door.
Something big, catwalk
The dubstep and DnB night celebrates its first birthday, with a big line up including N-Type, Hatcha and Lex One. 10pm-3am, Dhs100.
Strictly Vinyl, 360
An all vinyl affair with support from Charl Chaka, Cam B.C.N. and Rich Showell. 6pm-3am, free entry.
Friday 11 audio tonic presents Native, 360
Tristan Bain, Vas Floyd and Mr Mr drop deep tech upstairs, with Markii headlining below. 4pm-3am, free.
Blue Marlin feat. Audiofly
The Ghantoot beach club are one of the brave few to go up against Sandance as the electro-meets-house duo Audiofly play the terrace. 11am-11pm, reservation@ bluemarlinibiza-uae.com
INFUSION PICK!
Groove on the Grass, Emirates Golf Course
House of Afrika, Dek on 8
The popular Afro, tech and deep house night returns to it’s pool-side home with some of Dubai’s best DJs playing. 4pm3am, free.
All things urban at this longrunning and popular night. 10pm-3am, ladies free before 11pm, Dhs100 after. Weekly.
Omid Djali, World Trade Centre
The popular BBC and Middle Eastern comic with roles in The Mummy and Sex and the City performs live. 8pm-late, Dhs250.
INFUSION PICK! Sandance feat. The Killers, Atlantis
A huge return line up for the one day beach festival, with The Wailers, Of Monsters and Men and Steve Angello joining the Killers on stage. 2pm-2am, Dhs295.
Saturday 12 Saturday Showcase, 360
Deep house business from this audio tonic hosted night, with James Field, Tristan Bain and Rod Lee Winters playing. 6pm-late, free.
PARTY GUIDE
Steve Bug, Droog and DJ Koze head up this open air tech house festival held in the lush surrounds of the Emirates Golf Course. 6pm-3am, Advance tickets Dhs160.
No.1 Fridays, N’Dulge
A night of house classics, the way it used to be
PRESENTS
cam b.c.n. charl chaka richard showell thursday 10 october 2013
FREE ENTRANCE
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Look AND
LISTEN Music be the food of love, so read on...
> Music News > Album Reviews > DJ Booth > DJ Top 10
Look and Listen
Music News... Creamfields Beirut Called Off Over Syria Fears
Organisers of Creamfields Beirut 2013 have promised to refund ticket holders planning to attend last month’s event in Lebanon which was cancelled with just two days to go because of safety concerns. “It is with great regret that we have to inform our festival goers, sponsors and partners that the long awaited Creamfields Beirut has had to be canceled,” organisers JK58.co said in a statement issued via their Facebook page. “The difficult decision to cancel was made in light of recently updated travel warnings from various governments in North America and Europe and followed by lengthy consultation between all parties involved in the organisation of this year’s festival.” Steve Angello, Richie Hawtin, Loco Dice, Seth Troxler , Maceo Plex had been due to play at the event as well, while Mark Pickup was one of the first local DJs to pull out. “The British embassy were also saying don’t travel because there are chances of kidnap,” Pickup explained.
MUSIC BITES
“Some DJs get pissed off if you take the attention away from them. You’d never notice it, but they’re not satisfied with everyone in the club listening to them, they want everyone to be watching them, too.” Pacha Ibiza/Amnesia podium dancer Jenniffer Luciana Gertman admits she sometimes has to dance to ‘music you really hate’, particularly when jealous DJs try to unsettle her steps.
“Within this self-contained ecosystem of music denoted by its sameness, EDM DJs need onstage gimmicks to stand out. Huge stage shows incorporating visuals and pyrotechnics are used to attract attention around the comparatively tiny head of the DJ’ The Quietus’ Scott Wilson suggests the core principle behind America’s EDM explosion is ‘the promotion of the spectacle in order to disguise fundamentally mediocre content.’
MONSTER MIDDLE EAST Tel: +971.4.883.04.05 Email: support@monsterme.com www.beatsbydre.com
Look and Listen DJ Sneak in Twitter tirade shocker!
US house hero DJ Sneak advised Dutch tech star Joris Voorn to ‘get a USB stick’ this week, after becoming infuriated when Joris’ tour manager tried to start cabling up his laptop and controller during the closing stages of Sneak’s Pacha Ibiza set. Branding the manager a ‘w*nker’ for trying to cut into his set time, Sneak suggested laptop DJs should in future start their usually intrusive cabling activities after the previous DJ has finished rather than during the proceeding DJ’s set. “Why not just start your set on a cdj MUSIC BITES (with a CD or USB stick) then set your computer up when the djs before you “People consume [mu- are out?” Sneak suggested, explaining sic] like McDonald’s a he no longer wants ‘people f***in over little bit, like download the mixer while he was still using it. a song and throw it Entering into a lengthy subsequent away the next day. online debate with Joris (and many of That’s a bit like how Joris’ fans) he broadened his tirade music has become so we have to fight towards laptop DJs in general, declaring against it.” ‘(the) funny thing is laptop guys think they’re doing something SO much Swedish House Mafia/ better than actually dj’ing! No dude! . . . EDM king Axwell Leave lap tops for checking emails and complains about the controllers for video games.” disposability of EDM Berlin based USB advocate DJ T music, which is fairly ironic considering their also complained about laptop DJs in output… an interview with Ibiza-Voice this week in which he admitted he ‘still can’t get used to seeing DJs stare in their laptops for hours.’ “I can’t get used to DJs coming in 30 minutes before their set starts, connecting their jumble of cable, scurrying around you and seriously disturbing your vibe,” the Get Physical legend added.
OCTOBER 10
Look and Listen
Album Reviews... Arctic Monkeys – AM
Indie, Rock I www.arcticmonkeys.com
For more Album Reviews go to www.infusion.ae
While some bands are content to remain in their own musical bubble, the Arctic Monkeys have always favoured invention, with their fifth album no different. While it doesn’t have the psychedelic haze of Humbug, nor the multi-faceted pop hooks of Suck It And See, it does come with an indie-meets hip hop swagger, with the band marrying their rock and blues with some vintage Black Keys moments. Which all results in one of their least frantic albums (the punky ‘R U Mine’ aside), but equally one of their most consistent offerings. And one that, oddly as it might sound, does resonate with hip hop stylings, the Monkeys’ other musical love. It might not quite live up their pre-album proclamations – “it’s like a Dr Dre beat, but we’ve given it an Ike Turner bowl-cut and sent it galloping across the desert on a Stratocaster” – hip hop is definitely present and correct on slow jam ‘One For The Road’ while ‘Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High’ has more West coast bounce to the ounce than any track by 4 pale white lads should do. Which is further proof that the Monkeys are masters of their own destiny, and continue to be one of our generation’s greatest bands.
Look and Listen
Deetron – Music Over Matter House, Electronic
I www.deetron.com
Collaborations tell you a lot about the musician, and what they’re thinking. Get T-Pain on board, and your intentions are fairly clear. Which is why when we scanned the list of featured artists for deep house/techno don Deetron’s second album, we had a big grin on our face. Featuring man of the moment Ben Westebeech (Breach), disco kingpins Hercules and Love Affair, wonky house star Seth Troxler and trippy dubstep duo Ripperton and Cooly G, they all bring their distinct sound to Deetron’s own hard to pin down productions. While the Ripperton and Cooly G accented opener ‘Thinking’ seems an odd track to open with – all discordant beats and jostling bass – the album quickly hits its stride as the tinkling disco fever of ‘Crave’ feat. Hercules and Love Affair is quickly followed by the Seth Troxler influenced ‘Love Song,’ which grows and growls into a bass hungry monster. Deetron is more than just the sum of his parts though: ‘Count On Me’ has a neutron bomb bassline, while album closer ‘Can’t Love You More’ is a shimmering, funk-fuelled work out. Music Over Matter is more than just friends with benefits, this is Deetron making his big move.
Look and Listen ALBUM BITES Sub Focus – Torus
Drum and Bass/Electronica subfocus.com
For more Album Reviews go to www.infusion.ae
Drum and bass fans are among the most passionate out there, always battling to ‘keep it real’ – which will make their reaction to the new Sub Focus album especially interesting viewing as this one time DnB main man hasn’t so much shifted his focus on this album, as entirely aim it at the raging American market. It’s not until 7 minutes in that you’re actually hit with any DnB grooves, as opener ‘Torus’ is a beautifully crafted glitch hop meets Sega soundtrack mess of beats and bass, with a synapse snapping breakdown. And when the 87BPMs do come, they’re in the ultracommercial form of ‘Safe and Sound’ and lead single ‘Endorphins’, two EDM-tastic, vocal ridden slices of pop and bass. Sub Focus also gets to grips with house and downtempo on the album, all of which showcase his fluid, super-smooth production techniques. Drum and Bass fans won’t find much to hold them on Torus, but anyone looking for intelligent EDM is advised to take a closer look.
MUSIC THAT MATTERS
Send tracks/edits/remixes to andy@infusion.ae
David Craig – I Like Butter Funk-laden trip, including classic hip hop, soul, breaks and a little bit of sunshine house. Head nodding music at its finest. soundcloud.com/djdavidcraig-couk/likebutter Smokingroove – Poopi Cacas 4am tech house, including some weird and wonderful noises, from the brother-brother production and DJ team. Moe Shafiq - Artificial Future Progressive and warm trance chords to the fore on this free download from the burgeoning Abu Dhabi producer. soundcloud.com/moe-shafiq/ moe-shafiq-artificial-future Deep Hertz – Melting Sun Debut release from Rohann Nunez AKA Deep Hertz is a neatly constructed, driving deep meets tech house track with a powerful bassline. Wally Lopez – Blue Marlin mix An exclusive mix from the Spanish house DJ, featuring up-front cuts from Bedouin Soundclash, Joor Ghen and Arjun Vagale (who’s soon to play for Warped). soundcloud.com/blue-marlinibiza-uae/wally-lopez-for-bluemarlin
PRESENTS
THE WARMUP YOUR WEEKLY DJ SHOW, LIVE FROM
EVERY THURSDAY 4-6PM
www.infusion.ae
DJ Booth: Margo Sahara
Meet the Karma Kafe’s new resident DJ, who previously held down residencies at Pacha and Space in Sharm El Sheikh.
One thing you might not know about me is… I’m the new resident DJ at Karma Kafe, Souk Al Bahar, plug plug. Come say hello. My worst ever job was… Easy, I once worked in one of those office places, yuk. I had to work 9 till 5 dealing with paperwork and making coffee, plus the boss was a perv. My favorite ever record is... Dubai are you ready for this. ‘Relax’ by Franky Goes To Hollywood. Don’t judge me, I’m cool, I promise! DJing is much like...
Eating and breathing. It must happen.
Dubai’s clubbing scene is... After only 2 months in Dubai I am still finding my feet. I do think the smaller venues have a better quality of DJ. I’m really proud of... My first ever gig. A DJ compertion in Russia, I was 20 years old and the only girl on the bill, I on 2nd place, BOOOM. What track could you drop in every set? Tocadisco Cataratas (Original Mix). I can’t live without... We all know the real answer but I will say people, I hate to be alone. My biggest DJ achievement to date is... 25 gigs in 30 days while touring China. I was all alone. Brave girl. What is your guiltiest pleasure? See question 3. What can I say? If you could DJ in any decade which would it be... 90s for sure when it all began. I’m not a politician but… If we, us, them, politicians, Prime Ministers, everybody, all told the truth, the world would be a better place. soundcloud.com/margosahara/sunset-deep-mix-2013 www.facebook.com/clubbeats
Soundstage
Abri
and the Funk Radius
He’s one of the region’s biggest stars, so when we heard Abri had set up shop with a new band, the Funk Radius, and had a new Saturday night gig, we had to find out more…
How would you describe your sound? A clutter of different music styles with soul being the driving force. Being a musician in Dubai is much like… Trying to walk through a sand storm, you are eventually going to reach your destination its just the journey itself is not too pleasant. My first musical influence was… Hearing my Dad’s music playing around the house (he is a musician himself composing and performing East African music called Taareb). The best way to get noticed in Dubai is… To buy a luxury car and drive it really slow on Sheikh Zayed Rd with a wild animal as your passenger. I suggest a Lion or Tiger, rake up a 100,000/- and up dirham bill at the most pretentious club around and you’re on the way to getting noticed. What’s the best gig you’ve played? My first gig ever as ABRI, it was at a country club that is no longer there for a night called The Speakeasy. And the worst? Any corporate gig. Band motto? No egos, just good music. Dubai’s music scene is… In limbo. There really isn’t a ‘music scene’ in Dubai, just a handful of musicians doing music. A ‘music scene’ is a community, a movement, a climate of music in a moment of time and place. What’s your earliest musical memory? Auditioning for the music club at my high school, I sang a Michael Jackson tune. Who would you invite to your dream festival? Sam Cooke, Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix, James Brown, Michael Jackson.... you see the pattern here? Revive the dead greats for one last jam, the ultimate zombie music fest. The best lyrics of all time are… Check out ‘How to disappear completely’ by Radiohead. What’s the one thing you’d like to request on your rider? - Plenty of mind altering stuff, like a TV & meditation CDs.... What’s the one song you couldn’t cover? Pretty much all of the covers we do are sub par, we just say that we are putting our twist on them when in actuality… If we could change one thing about Dubai’s music scene… I’d build a Dubai Music Scene City. I got the blueprints already. Cityscape here I come. Abri and the Funk Radius play Sublime, Ibis Hotel World Trade Centre every Saturday, 9pm onwards
Moodyboy mixcloud.com/ djmoodyboy 1. Roland Clarke & DJ Chus - Soul Of A Dj - Club Mix 2. Stefano Kaso - Last Mouth Orignal Mix 3. Honey Dijon, Sebastian Maneul The Mixologist - Rafa Barrios Remix 4. Esribano - Jucaro - Orignal Mix 5. D-formation,tini Garcia - Come On Orignal Mix 6. Dj Pp - Laluna - Orignal Mix 7. Saeed Younan - You Know I Got It Saeed Still Got It Mix 8. Kevin Aviance ,the Cuacarachas Sushi Darling - D-unity Remix 9. Filterheads - Yimanya - D-unity Remix 10. Florian Gasperini - Bots Filterheads Remix
Arjun Vagale (Jalabee Cartel) Warped, soundcloud.com/arjun-jalebee 1. Carlo Lio and The Junkies - Icon 2. ONNO - Feel Like 3. Reelow - Welcome Home 4. Project AKC - This Thing 5. Arjun Vagale - Wombat 6. Kohra - The Serpent 7. Jewel Kid - Doppelganger 8. Arjun Vagale - Kempai (Jon Rundell Remix) 9. Ronan Portela - Intense 10. WHYT NOYZ - Rush
MUUI soundcloud.com/muuimusic 1. Mano Le Tough - Primitive People (Tale of us) 2. Van Did - Dark side of the room (Olaf Stuut) 3. Solee - Sommerliebe (Eelke Kleijn Remix) 4. Jaw - Kid 5. Tony Guerra - Saw 6. Key Fun - Method 7. MUUI - A Perfect Circle (Kappe De Goede Hoop Remix) 8. Nicole Moudaber - Give Me Body 9. Yan Oxygen - Munich 93 (Skober Remix) 10. Rob Hes - Trim
David Craig Nasimi 1. Bescheerer Gill - Sanctuary (Juan Mejia Meddle Remix) 2. Sable Sheep-Upon Burning Skies 3. Steve Miggidy Maestro-Nights Over Egypt 4. Ninetoes-Finder 5. Cajmere & Dajae-Satisfy 6. Autodeep,Bajka-Freedom Dove 7. Luka-Overstanding 8. Soulful Sessions ft Lynn Lockamy Hostile Take Over 9. Ben Pearce-What I Might Do – (Kolombo Remix) 10. Alexander Koning-Jamaican Summer
To submit your Top 10, send in the above format to andy@infusion.ae
OCTOBER 10
Looking
CLOSER Opinions, thoughts and jiberish...
> Weird News > Pan Arabia Enquirer > Cool Test > Instagram Gratification > Movies > Angry Monkey
Looking Closer
Weird News... Cat burglar
We’ve all been there, and woken up next to a traffic cone/pinched pint glass the next day. But one Californian man went a step further, after he woke up next to a purring black cat he’d ‘accidentally stolen’ the night before. The cat-napper realized the error of his ways, and put an ad on Craigslist after he noticed Django had a collar and was a pet. ‘I was extremely intoxicated and thought he was just some random stray I was rescuing. Django is a very frisky black cat, he also has very sleepy eyes and appears to be stoned although I don’t think he is,’ said the man. He then apologised for stealing the cat, and added that he’d been feeding him cheese. Please, someone, rescue this cat from its cheese nightmare!
WEIRD BITES “What the hell!” A New Zealand man reacts after his friends had rigged his house’s plumbing so that fresh beer came out of every tap, and even the shower.
Bringing home the bacon
It’s an animal crazy world this issue, as we’ve just heard that an Australian pig is nursing an 18 beer hangover after going on the rampage at a West Australian campsite. The pig stole beer from the campers, before trying to fight a cow, have a drunken swim, and then drunkenly passing out after his bender. A camper told ABC News: “These people camping opposite us heard this crunching of the can and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was scrunching away at their cans.” “Some other people camped right on the river saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow. It was going around and around and then it went into the river and swam across to the middle.”
panarabiaenquirer.com
Guinness World Records horticultural chiefs called in to question validity of reggae night’s ‘Nattiest Roots’ claim DUBAI: Representatives from Guinness World Records’ horticultural division are set to attend a reggae night this weekend to ascertain the validity of its boasts of having the ‘nattiest roots’. Drop Dread, a monthly reggae night somewhere in Al Barsha in Dubai, made the bold claims about its season opening dance recently, which included a live set from Jamaican music legend Horace Andy. “We’ve had a huge rise in agricultural record bids from the region in recent months,” said Guinness World Record spokesman Paddy Schwing. “Just last week a farmer in Saudi Arabia claimed to have grown the most iconic potato, and our date team is overloaded with work. If these roots on offer are being paraded as the nattiest, then we need to make sure that it’s the case.” “Gimme ah bulla as brawta ah fawty dolla wut ah callaloo, caw ah frah mawning mi nuh nyam,” added Drop Dread organisers Deep Crates Cartel in a press statement. The Pan-Arabia Enquirer is the Middle East’s premier source of satirical news. This means that it’s entirely made up and not intended, in any way whatsoever, to be taken as factual.
FIRE & SPICE DANCE WEEKEND
10 PM
11 PM
12 AM
STARTING 15TH AUGUST, 2013 THURSDAY 10PM - 2AM, FRIDAY 10PM - 2AM
3
INTERNATIONAL DJs
RADIO SHOWS
1
STATION
Cool EJAZ
Ejaz VS Alex
ALEX
2Liv’s new residents go head to head day in, day out at the brand new Palm Sofitel club, but who’ll win in a battle of the wits? Have you ever used your name or fame to get out of trouble? I’m too cunning and slick to get into Nope. trouble, so the answer is no. My nickname at school was? I never had one, but I gave everyone Skinny. else one. People just called me by my last name. Have you ever injured yourself at work? I did get a quick jolt of electricity a Yes in the past. couple times in Ibiza and Moscow. It’s not big and clever but… It always gets the job done for It’s soulful…music. the ladies. My best claim to fame is… Making my friends laugh at the weird Yet to come. stuff I say. And making a killer beat on anything I can bang on. Describe your best track in 5 words… Revolutionary, inspirational, emotive, Ultimate banging dance floor crusher. rythmic and melodious. Have you ever been arrested? No, because prison walls can’t hold me, No. and most of all, I’m a good boy... Your answer to everything is… Ain’t no thing but a chicken wing on What do you think? a string. Tell us your best one-liner... “You don’t even know it”.... or Ain’t worried about nothing. sometimes, “Google me.” What’s the best insult you could give each other? It’s for the team to know, As a kid we used to go with the low a team secret. blows by using, “your momma” jokes.
The verdict: Thankfully Ejaz does most of his talking on the dancefloor, as Alex wins out this round.
By Maddy Buthcer, Bishboshbang.wordpress.com
Type in any search topic on Instagram from “Abu Dhabi” to “Breakfast”, and you get Selfies. Millions, with expressions from ”Faintly confused” or “Gently bored”, to “Oh. Didn’t see you there” or “Angry about sitting on this couch”. Expressions that rarely leave a mirror, but show us how people think they should be seen.
Instagram can turn the view from your seat into art, and has opened up the desire to capture visually, and share, to everyone. We’re all photographers, muses and designers now, and your easiest model is you. Selfies let us play at crafting ourselves in the style of what surrounds us. But they also encourage hyper-sexualised schoolgirl shots without the middle man, or 9-year old boys who swap smiles for Ghetto Fingers and Thug Life. They are reacting to
what’s popular, in the same way as Miley Cyrus’s twerk… but it’s a phenomenon that grows exponentially. Perhaps one way to address it, still relatively early on, is to poke fun at it. Not individuals. Just the genre. bishboshbang.wordpress.com
MOVIE Gravity Tense, 3D spectacular that follows two space-walking astronauts as they get set free from their space station. Already tipped for Oscar honours, this is tense, dramatic film-making at its finest. Classification: PG-13 Director: Alfonso Curaon Starring: George Clooney, Sandra Bullock
Captain Phillips
Another taut and impressive film, as Hanks plays the resolute Captain Phillips, who’s ship – the first American cargo boat in centuries - was hijacked by Somali pirates. Classification: PG 13 Director: Paul Greengrass Starring: Tom Hanks, Max Martini
PREVIEWS Diana
After the recent Jobs biopic comes another true life story that doesn’t quite live up to history. While Naomi Watts plays the English Princess with verve, the script and rest of the performances lack heart, leaving the story cold. Classification: PG 13 Director: Oliver Hirschbiegel Starring: Naomi Watts, Naveen Andrews
The Butler Another early Oscar contender, this American drama follows Cecil Gaines (Whitaker), a White House butler who serves 8 American presidents, while re-telling the dramatic history of the period, including the civil rights movement and Vietnam. Classification: PG 13 Director: Lee Daniels Starring: Forest Whitaker, John Cusack
Disclaimer: Film release schedules are subject to change, please check reelcinemas.ae, grandcinemas.com and voxcinemas.com for full schedules.
Dead DJs The Monkey is used to the delights of living life to the max – after all, 50% of my calorific intake is through still wiggling worms and bugs, so I’ve very much alive and kicking. But The Monkey has to take umbrage at promoters out there who STILL bill DJs as being Live, as if it’s some sort of special treat for the crowd. ‘Look, your DJ is moving, he’s breathing and he’s just – gasp! – pressed play on a CD player.’ An even bigger slap in the face though is when said promoter not only bills DJs as live acts, but then deems to call Will.I.Am and Timbaland DJs. And then try and charge Dhs350 for the privilege of seeing them hit auto sync. The Monkey would almost – almost – be willing to overlook the hefty cost if Will.I.Am (who’s surely the biggest douche in dance) and Timbaland (a past it producer) played live. But no: these two ‘DJs’ will simply be pressing play on a succession of dead-at-heart EDM numbers, while making heart signs to the crowd, as they count down the time until they can go and do the same thing for even more money at any number of high end clubs in town. Bleh.
Monkey Out...
The Angry Monkeys’ views are his own, and don’t necessarily reflect the views of Infusion Magazine.
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JU ON AY & CH S AN I 19 T O D A E L C R E LA I P T L -A Q FR N CH C UI O -S AK E D O U L A
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