MUSIC • PEOPLE • LIFE
MY FIRST TIME DJS REVEAL HOW THEY POPPED THEIR CHERRY
Night only House legend John Digweed plays Yas Island Essential film guide, Zedd, Electric Days, The Spin, Groove on the Grass, Pioneer DJ Competition and much more!
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A Note From The Editor
Publisher: Talal Budebs Managing Partner: Charl Chaka charlchaka@infusion.ae Editor: Andy Buchan andy@infusion.ae Sales Director: Vip Patel Vip@infusion.ae 050 169 8712
We’ve done some time travelling in this issue, and asked some of the city’s DJs to take us back to their first time. There are some great answers involving Space Ibiza, trashed house parties and Paul Oakenfold, but in the spirit of sharing, he’s my first gig experience…
Online Guru: Chris Rayner chris@infusion.ae
It was at Leeds Uni 10 years ago, and in preparation for my 3 hour set, I’d gone through my collection in advance. With 140 CDs in strict order, I made my way down to Leeds Uni to set up, but was politely told that the bar wasn’t the right place to put my decks (it was BYOD in those days with CD decks). I then had several happy hour pints too many, played New Order’s ‘Blue Monday’ at near lightspeed but somehow managed to keep most of the crowd there until closing time. Oh, and I also went under the name The Buchaneer, his first and only gig as people kept asking where my parrot/ peg leg/treasure was.
Grown-up stuff: Infusion is published by Milehigh Media, LLC PO Box 53443 – Dubai, UAE Tel/Fax: 04 368 8098
Andy
Contributors: Richard Perez, Vip Patel, Monique Belle, Stephen Day Design: Allan (Jmaxlolo) Tinsay
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Bassworx Old Skool Night, Casa Latina
Dubai does bling with the best (and worst) of them, but it doesn’t do alternative, dingy or different as well. Which is probably why Casa Latina has over 4 years, become a mainstay of the alternative scene, hosting everything from funkadelic hip hop to indie to techno to bass anthems under various promoters and nights. And it’s the latter that draws us back to the Sheikh Zayed Rd venue, for their monthly Bassworx party, and more specifically, their Old Skool party. New Warehouse Dubai resident Under The Moon kicked off proceedings with a 90s rave homage, with Bassworx main man Woodle dropping a tune-heavy hour of classic garage with excellent hype man Prit on MC duties. With the stroke of midnight, came a change in tempo with Armo dropping a killer jungle and early DnB set as the main warm up for UK international Mistanoize, who tore into Drum and Bass’s history, pushing the newly beefed up Casa Latina sound system and the packed out dancefloor to their limits.
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Looking Back La Verita – Alchemy Project, ADNEC
Admirers of Cirque du Soleil and Catalonian artist Salvador Dali were treated to a surreal performance of circus, acrobatics, dance and music thanks to Alchemy Projects’ latest offering to the U.A.E. The tag line “It’s like dreaming with your eyes open” was certainly true of the show, as each act combined surrealism with well done Operatic/Classical music and mesmerizing circus theatre. The chemistry between the performers was captivating and performances were flawless as they gracefully flowed from scene to scene incorporating trapeze, rollerblading, gymnastics and even pole dancing. The plot, based around Dali’s painting The Mad Tristian, was at times confusing which is a testament to the storyline and Dalis work: when do your dreams or his art ever make perfect sense? Bravo.
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Say What? Say What? Say What? Did You Know?
Bad news piercing fans, as Rolf Buchholz, who has more than 400 piercings and tattoos on his body, was refused entry to Dubai after being booked to perform at Cirque Le Soir recently. Apparently ‘security reasons’ were behind the decision not to allow him in the country, but we suspect officials were just annoyed after the metal detector went into meltdown.
Old Jokes Home #1: A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says:
“Five beers, please.”
#2:
Why can’t Stevie Wonder see his mates? Because he’s married.
Dancefloor Dictionary
Dancefloored When your mate, mid epic dance move, slips on a dancefloor wet patch and ends up sprawled on the floor.
Heavy night out…
Dance Anthems @ Level 41
DJ Feel @ XL Beach Club
House of Afrika @ Level 41
Q43
Launch party @ Zoo Skate Park
Looking FORWARD Where we filter out the best things that are coming your way...
> Local News > Cover Story > My First Time
Looking Forward
Local News Superheroes line up announced
Bass-fueled night Superheroes return to action at the Dek on 8 this month, and they’ve been up-graded from monthly to every 2 weeks on the back of some packed out parties earlier in the year. The Freestylers, Marshall Jefferson (pictured) and Slipmatt are all confirmed later in the year, while UK 4 piece the Dance Off Soundsystem are the first confirmed international act on September 25.
Spin it to win it – Pioneer DJ Competition
The most prestigious DJ competition in the region returns this month, starting with the qualifiers on September 5, 6 and 12, through to the semi finals on September 19 and 20 and the Grand final at 0 Gravity on September 25. To register and for more details, head to facebook.com/PioneerDJMEA
Pan Pot get their Groove on the Grass
One of the success stories of the clubbing scene in the last few years, the under-the-stars house and techno night Groove on the Grass returns for their first date of the new season on Friday September 26 at their home, Emirates Golf Course. And they’ve booked Berlin techno stars Pan Pot, alongside Avatism and a host of local stars in the process, check out our cover story in the next issue for more details. facebook.com/GrooveOnTheGrass
Electric Days return
Another early starter to the season, Electric Days returns after a summer break to weekly house and tech-house action every Friday. The popular rooftop party kicks off on September 12 with Crosstown Rebels’ DJ Francesca Lombardo (pictured), with Cadenza’s Julietta following up, while Kate Simko returns on September 26 for a live set. As ever, entry is Dhs100, and entrance is strictly limited via guestlist, doorlist@electricdays.net.
DUST off those dancing shoes
Local disco, funk, boogie and house champions DUST are back in action with not one, but two international names on Thursday September 4, with Superbreak (pictured) and Brother J touching down at Story Rooftop. Expect disco, funk and house classics aplenty from the Australian duo, with residents Megadon Betamax and James Locksmith on support from 9pm. facebook.com/DUSTDUBAI
Rumours
• Take That’s Gary Barlow has been confirmed for a show in Dubai on October 17. • Nick Warren is scheduled to play at Nasimi in November. • DJ EZ, DJ Zinc and Majestic have been confirmed for
Warehouse Dubai and their November date.
New clubs (Box, The Barn, Eden Beach Club), new nights (Stereo, House United) and returning favourites like Sandance and Groove on the Grass. Fair to say the new season is well under way!
Doing a Number 2 on the kitchen floor at a well known local DJs’ after party, then hiding said Number 2 in the cupboard alongside their soiled knickers. Keep it classy, Dubai.
Planning is well under way for our We Are 10 celebrations, stay tuned!
Promoters liking their own party posts on facebook. We know you like it. It’s your party!
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O1NE Love! One of the most ambitious clubs in the region, O1NE Yas Island is back in business after a summer break with a host of new innovations and a cracking line up including UK house star John Digweed‌
Some clubs are content to rely on their big name booking policy, or to focus on their décor and entertainment. But in a refreshing change, Yas Island club O1NE have decided to focus equally on both this season. Leading the charge in Abu Dhabi, and just a short trip out of Dubai, the club have set a two weekend opening party planned, meaning 4 nights of huge celebration. The grand opening will take place on Thursday September 4, with a huge party and all the entertainment that O1NE Yas Island can offer. The following night is the start of their high concept series, as they give the graffiti clad venue an entire makeover.
Titled O1NE Night… in New York, the club will be completely renovated from head to toe, transporting the guests into a totally different location. Using 360 degree imaging and 3D mapping, the architectural and interior design of the club will be transformed into the Big Apple, meaning you get all the best bits of New York on your doorstep without the jet lag or the 12 hour flight! Offering state of the art production, and a totally immersive feel, the club is the technological landmark in the country, and they’ll be putting that expertise to good use. The big news for house heads comes the weekend after, as Bedrock main man John Digweed makes his debut at the club on Thursday September 11. A DJ since the age of 16, he first came to fame in the mid-90s as house music was starting to take over the UK. And in partnership with Sasha, another UAE favourite, he became one of the biggest DJs on the planet, known for his progressive house sound.
He’s held residencies at virtually every respectable club on the planet (Twilo in New York, Renaissance in the UK and Pacha in Ibiza), but he wasn’t always the jet-setting star. In the early days, he had to split his time as a part-time gardener, then a full time bar manager in between DJing. Now, he’s a broadcaster, producer, promoter, an active A&R record label executive for his label Bedrock and of course still the ever popular DJ that’s been rocking dancefloors across the world for decades. The fun doesn’t stop there, however, as it’s once the club has been cleared from the night before, they’ll start the re-building process for their O1NE Night theme, with Friday September 12 promising to drop you deep in the Jungle (Which reminds us of one of our favourite jokes: Why did the Lion get lost? ‘Cos the jungle is massive. Ahem). O1NE love!
O1NE Yas Island, 052 788 8111 www.o1neyasisland.com www.facebook.com/ o1neyasisland
My First Time… From nervous bedroom fumblings to performing on cue to thousands of people, we ask some of the city’s best DJs to talk us through their first time…
Danny Kwang
My first time was in Leeds in 2000 for my mate's 30th. He had secured a residency at Speed Queen and all of the DJs that I held in high regard were there. It took me a month of planning and the night before the gig I couldn't sleep. That day I was a nervous wreck and couldn't eat and spent most of the day pacing and in the bathroom. He had given me the headline slot as well which made it even more nerve wracking. After my first 2 mixes I felt a little more at ease. I then dropped a promo of Class A's ‘Streetlife’ on Azuli. The place went off and I had my peers coming up to me asking what the tune was. That was a buzz in itself. The party was wicked and I was on such a high I didn't sleep that night either. I wanted to do it again and it gave me the confidence to push further. Thanks Tin Tin, it's all down to you x
Conan Liquid
My first proper gig in an actual club was The Tartan House near Colchester in 1987. I was 15 years old (the manager was not aware of this, obviously). I was playing soul, funk and rare groove with some
very early house in a hip hop mash up style as I was a scratch DJ (or turntablist as they seem to be called nowadays). Half an hour into my set, my friend, who shall remain anonymous was stood at the bar with the Manager. "Not bad for a fifteen year old huh," were his words in the Managers shell like. I was promptly removed from said club without pay.
Elaouad
My first time was at a house party at my parents house when I was 17/18 years old. It was a straight up garage house party on a pair of Soundlab belt drives and a Gemini 626 mixer (still love that mixer). I was really nervous which was evident by the shaky hand syndrome when playing my first tune. But that soon subsided after the first mix which was TJR, ‘Just Gets Better’ into Antonio's ‘Hyper Funk’ (my first ever bits of vinyl). The party went off from there on in and was raucous. We still reminisce about it between us, we tore my parent’s house apart, a bedroom door got smashed through. We prepared a hell of a lot of Bernard Matthew’s turkey drummers as canapes (I'm told its' the reason it gets remembered so fondly). Various ornaments and glasses got destroyed, standard practice really. And to top it all off, me and some of the lads, after everyone had left went to the garage for some late night/early morning snacks (turkey drummers did not suffice) only to return to see that the house had been broken into. Nothing was taken, so he/she must've been disturbed, but the result of which was that I blamed all the damage and general untidiness of the house on the break in. Result!
Da Sendri
My 1st time was at Hard Times in 1996. This wasn't a real gig but the resident DJ was running late so Steve Raine the promoter asked me to fill in the 2nd room until he came. They gave me 3 records. A Daft Punk album, a positive records album and an am:pm single. I had no headphones so had to listen to the ting ting of the needle on the vinyl, all vinyl DJs will know what I mean. Mel B was there and I just about got away with the set. It was another 4 years until I played my 1st official gig.
Scott Somers
It was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (well some pub in York, the name escapes me). I was 17 and it was heaving, York was starved of a credible underground dance music scene in those days. I never expected it and the atmosphere was buzzing. Due to a lack of cable length/ adequate plug sockets, the
decks had to face the back wall of the stage. So I essentially played with my back to the crowd most of the set. It didn’t faze me, in fact it helped with my initial nerves - it was like DJing in a very loud bedroom. It was back in the days so I dropped all sorts of epic tracks (most of which are classics now), I do remember dropping Dupree's "Brass Disk" acapella over the Psychotropic "Hypnosis" half way through the set (I'd still play that now I reckon). 2 things I remember from the night. I slept a lot as a teenager and before I went on I decided to have a sleep on the stage (which I actually managed for 30 minutes in the middle of the party). And then a guy from my school in Leeds recognised me, he was a little worse for wear and decided he was going to MC for me half way through my set (whether I liked it or not - I didn't for the record).
Jixo and Danz
Our first time was back home in Lebanon in a club called Square Bar, in the famous Monot street where all the pubs and clubs are located in the center of Beirut City . It was 11 years ago (Jixo was 20 years old and Danz 19), and the DJ booth was tiny with 2 Pioneer CDJ 100s along with either a Numark or Vestax mixer. It wasn’t easy at all to play an extended set back then and obviously there were some mixing mistakes! However we managed to play a 4 hour set and keep the crowd bouncing till the end of the night.
We played house music, mainly progressive with an underground twist. At that time, we were influenced by big names like John Digweed, Sasha, Nick Warren, Lee Burridge, Danny Tenaglia, D-Formation. Oh, and we were pretty happy and surprised to seePaul Oakenfold show up randomly in the club! Apparently he was booked the next day in Beirut.
James Field
The first time I ever DJ'd I was 9 years old. My Mum threw a party and she was still preparing things when the first guests arrived. I remember there was a whole bunch of people standing around talking with drinks in their hand, but there was no music. I went straight to the wall of vinyl that my Mum had and scrolled my eyes across all the colourful sleeves, imagining which song was going to set a good mood. I remember exactly the moment that I dropped the needle on The Emotions ‘Best Of My Love' and cranked the Technics Hifi to 11. Everyone in the party cheered and there was an instant dancefloor. That was the moment that started my lifelong fling with playing music for people.
Andy Greaves
The first time I played Space in Ibiza was in 1998 for a Clockwork Orange after party. I hustled a huge crew of friends to come down to support and party the morning away and there was always a who's who of Ibiza DJs present (this is was when Space was a morning only party). The terrace was packed and I was on between 9.30 and 11am for the closing set. After a few chupitos to calm the nerves, I jumped into the DJ booth and got my first record out of the bag, the resident Jon Ulysses unplugged his headphones and it was all mine. Headphones plugged in, record queued up, started to mix, everything sounded right but the entire terrace had stopped dancing and were staring at me, what was going on!? Then it dawned on me, the mixer was an old Rodec and none of the faders were labelled - I had pulled the master volume down rather than the volume on the previous track and all that I could hear were the booth monitors. So I had 1,000 people staring at me in the booth jumping around like an idiot to no music. Thankfully someone leaned in to flip the volume up and the party continued, a first time experience and I’ll never forget it!
Miss P.M.
My first gig was in 2009 at Warehouse, Le Meridien for a night called "For Members Only". It was a house/commercial night but at that time I was heavily into minimal techno and techno. So my set comprised of Richie Hawtin, Magda, Loco Dice, Ricardo Villalobos, Sven Vath, Ellen Alien, etc. I think a lot of people were completely surprised by this little Filipino girl playing some underground techno. I received a
lot of nods and cheers from the crowd which was super awesome. Looking back though, I think I pushed my music too much for that night as it didn't really fit the theme, though some people appreciated it and commended me for being myself. One time I played before my current boyfriend, David Craig, whom I just met back then (back in June 2009). I don't think he was very happy with me leaving him with a very dark underground tech house track.
Rod Lee Keher
My first time was at my best mates 21st birthday in an upstairs rental room in a nightclub formerly known as World Bar. Plenty went wrong, there were spilled drinks, decks bumping and general looseness, but I did get a few cheers from mixes perfected through hours of bedroom banging. Stand out tracks would have to be ‘Believe’ by Ministers De La Funk and ‘Big Love’ by Pete Heller - which remains in my collection for any given gig to this day. I pretended the mistakes belonged to someone else, bought some more drinks and grinned from ear to ear. Which must have worked as I was offered my first residency off the back of the set!
ARTY GUIDE
ONTHE THE RADAR ON RADAR
September 26 Groove on the Grass feat. Pan Pot, Emirates Golf Course September 18 Arcadia feat. Patrick Topping, Dek on 8
September 30 Illusionists, World Trade Centre
September 18 Globalfunk vs Bassworx feat. dBridge, Casa Latina October 9 Bingo Players, Nasimi
September 26 Electric Days feat. Kate Simko, Tamanya Terrace
October 10 Sandance
October 17 Circle II Circle, Music Room November 12 Criss Angel, Hamdan Sports Complex
October 24 Warehouse Dubai feat. Route 94
October 31 Sensation, Meydan
December 12 Kevin Bridges
PARTY GUIDE
October 30 Superheroes feat. Freestylers, Dek on 8
November 27 Superheroes feat. Marshall Jefferson, Dek on 8
ARTY GUIDE
Sunday 31 Milk on Sundays, ChinaWhite
New RnB night from the No.1 Events team featuring Brooklyn and Shef Codes. 10pm-3am.
Rock The Love, OKKU
DJ Amir Sharara is joined by drummer Hush and Lucina on Saxophone for the this popular start to the party week. 8pm.
Sunday Brunch, Cavalli
New Sunday night concept, with unlimited food and alcohol plus Cavalli’s resident DJs. 9pm, Dhs200.
Monday 1 Brooklyn Base, Atelier M
Half price house drinks from 6-9pm, with Brooklyn in charge of the tunes as the night develops. 6pm-3am
Club Classics, Boudoir
All the classic house and electro cuts courtesy of DJ Destroyer. 10pm-3am.
Fairies, Layali Club
Lebanese singer Nadine Chammas performs retro English, French and Spanish hits live, with Micho supplying an Arabic edge. Free drinks for ladies all night. 9pm.
Hip hop Chic, Cirque Le Soir
Bustling early-week party with hip hop vibes from start to finish courtesy of DJ Bliss. 10.30pm-3am.
Madmen, Z:One
A dedicated men’s night, with 2 free drinks for the dudes and a 60s playlist. 6-9pm.
Manic Mondays,
Zinc Greg Stainer and Andy Swift play old and new skull anthems, with a 10pmmidnight happy hour. 10pm3am, ladies and couples free. Weekly.
Showtime, The Act
Brand new show from the renowned dinner/show act. 8.30pm, repeated Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
Tuesday 2 Abri and the Funk Radius, Atelier M
Super talented singer Hamdan Abri and his band start their new mid-week residency. 8pm
B:Lush, Media One
4 free drinks for ladies, with Da Sendri dropping funk, soul, disco and house. 7-10pm, free.
Champagne and Strawberries night, Horizon Lounge
3 complimentary glasses of Mojitos or Bubbly from 6pm, with a happy hour from 4-8pm.
Day and Night, Cavalli
Pink Ladies Pin Up Night, Mahiki
Dirty Laundry, GQ Bar
Censored Tuesdays, Cirque Le Soir
Brand new ladies night from New York natives the Koch Brothers, with DJ Stutter on the turntables. 8pm, 4 free drinks for ladies. Fashion orientated night, with Sam Farsio on the deep, tech house vibes. 9pm. Weekly.
En Vogue, Armani Prive
Darko De Jan takes control of this high class ladies night, with complimentary mojitos until 1am for ladies. 10pm-3am.
Exposure, ChinaWhite
Shef Codes and Shero trade hip hop and RnB tracks, with free Cosmos for ladies from 11pm-1am. 10pm-3am.
3 free drinks for ladies at the panoramic, gorgeous-looking Media City venue. 6pm-1am.
Hunters Gentlemen’s night, Hunters (Westin) 50% off your steak or red wine at this male-focussed mid-weeker. 7pm-late.
Lost Angels, 0 Gravity
Four hours of free flowing bubbles and gourmet treats from 7-11pm for Dhs100 at this new lady-friendly night. 7pm. Weekly.
UK DJ and Ministry of Sound star Colin Francis heads up this new night, with Tim Kay on support.
Selfie Tuesdays, People By Crystal
DJ Brooklyn mans the decks, with selfies encouraged. 10pm-3am.
Wednesday 3 Bootik, Vanity (Al Murooj Rotana) Opening season vibes for one of our popular Wednesday nights out. 11pm-3am. Weekly.
Diamond Wednesdays, XL Beach Club
Shero and Brooklyn drop the urban tunes at this popular weekly night. 9pm-3am. Weekly.
Flashdance, Cavalli
80s classics all night long at the high end club. 8pm-late. Weekly.
Mahiki Retro Wednesdays
All the classics from the last 4 decades. 7pm-late. Weekly.
PARTY GUIDE
Girls Don’t Q, Q43, Media One Hotel
Complimentary pink Champagne, with plenty of guilty pleasures on the decks in this paradise-themed club. 7pm-late.
ARTY GUIDE
Societe School Night
Retro pop hits, classic TV shows (including Biker Grove and Grange Hill) and Dhs30 vodka Red Bulls. 10pm. Weekly.
Thursday 4 Abri & The Funk Radius, Pizza Express JLT Abri and the extremely funky Funk Radius drop funk, soul, hip hop and rock covers and originals at this bustling Thursday night joint. 9pm, weekly.
INFUSION PICK! Analog Room, Q Underground
Deadbeat and Tiki Man play live at this cult electronic and techno night. 10pm, Dhs75.
Bad House Party, Casa Latina
Punk, indie and alternative gems from this leftfield night with blow up animals and a fun crowd. 9pm-3am. Free.
Conan Manchester, Loca
Foot-tapping funk, soul and rock and roll from Conan at one of our favourite bars in town. Weekly Thursday and Friday.
INFUSION PICK!
DUST feat. Superbreak and Brother J, Story Rooftop
Funk, boogie, disco and house from the Australian headliners, with support from Megadon Betamax and James Locksmith. 9pm-3am, Dhs50.
Jamrock, Ego Lounge
Calypso, dub, reggae and urban from Sir Taz and DJ Crown Prince. 10pm-3am, ladies free before midnight, weekly.
Laughter Factory, Movenpick, JBR
New Zealander Carey Marx is joined by Steve Shanyaski and Nick Dixon for this month’s installment. 9pm, Dhs140. Repeated Friday.
Live Thursdays, District Lounge
Layla and the Free Sound Project play a range of covers live in their own style, with support from DJ Rich-E. 8pm-late.
Reggae Beach Fest Club Takeover, Sublime
Reggae Beach Fest team up with Irie Reggae Dubai for a series of club nights, featuring the best reggae DJs in town. 9pm-3am, Dhs90.
Splendid, Blends
Mad Hands is on the decks, while there are free drinks for ladies from 8-11pm. Weekly.
INFUSION PICK!
Ben Waters, Music Room
Beirut night Stereo makes its Dubai debut indoors at 0 Gravity, with two internationals and a long list of support DJs including JC and Deian. 7pm-3am, Dhs160.
Cocktails and Dreams, Societe Dubai
Underground Sounds, Level 41
Freaks and Beats, Cirque Le Soir
Stereo Club Nights feat. Coyu and Dr Dru, 0 Gravity
DJ Mark Pickup and Tim Cheddar dig deep to find the underground cuts making it big on dancefloors across the world. 9pm-3am, free.
Vintage, Societe Dubai
We Are One feat. Million Stylez, Studio F
Popular urban night, with ‘Ms Fatty’ star Million Stylez headlining, with support from Skinny Loop and Don Corneille. 10pm-3am.
Friday 5 Audio tonic, 360
Deep house, basslines and tech-house vibes from the ever reliable audio tonic crew. 4pm-3am, free. Weekly.
A post brunch party, with 50 cocktails to choose from and Societe’s usual fun mix of pop and chart. 6pm-9pm, Dhs250.
Nick Tohme heads up this weekly night, where entertainment is at the fore. 10pm-3am. Weekly.
INFUSION PICK!
House of Afrika, Level 41
Deep, tech and Afro house vibes from the popular weekly night at their new summer location. 4pm-3am, free.
Ladies Evening, Atelier M
Free cocktails for ladies until midnight, and DJ Taya Kruzz on the decks. 8pm. Weekly.
LoveBrunch, Story Rooftop
Benni T and Mark Pickup deliver the deep house/garage tunes at this popular brunch/ club concept. 6pm, Dhs350.
Muzik, Nawwara (JW Marriot Marquis)
Long running urban night Muzik starts up again with Dany Neville, Sir-Tax and S-D’Red Lion on the decks. 9pm-late.
PARTY GUIDE
80s, 90s and 00s at this alternative venue in the Marina, with tables for 4 starting from Dhs1100. 10pm-3am.
Live piano and rock from the accomplished UK musician. 9pm-3am, Dhs100.
ARTY GUIDE
OnShore Social, 0 Gravity
Indulgent late brunch at one of our favourite new venues, with endless platters of food, cocktails, bubbly and the resident DJ on hand. 3-6pm, From Dhs444 per person. Weekly.
Poshfunk Super Yacht Party, Dubai Marina
2-6pm yacht party, with Masterstepz, DJ Slim and more on deck duty, with tickets Dhs395 for men and Dhs295 for ladies, including all food and drink.
Tonight I’m A Single Lady, Movida
Free drinks for ladies from 11pm-1am, and resident DJ Mitchell on the decks. 11pm-3am. Weekly.
INFUSION PICK! Zedd, 0 Gravity
Grammy award winning DJ and producer Zedd headlines this EDM night, with support from Dion Mavath. 2pm-3am, advance tickets Dhs180.
Laughter Factory, Els Club, Dubai Sports City
New Zealander Carey Marx is joined by Steve Shanyaski and Nick Dixon for this month’s installment. 8pm, Dhs140.
Suga, Movida
Hip hop and party RnB all night long. 11pm-3am. Weekly.
Sean Kingston, Armani Prive
Jamaican urban and dancehall star Kingston returns to the region, this time playing live for the Armani Prive crowd. 10pm, advance tickets Dhs100.
Wednesday 10 Lady Gaga, Meydan Race Course One of pop’s biggest and brightest stars begins her world Artpop tour in Dubai. 6pm-1am, Dhs495.
Saturday 6 411, People By Crystal
DJ Bliss, Shef Codes and partners in hip hop crime close out the weekend in style. 10pm-3am. Weekly.
Homegrown, 360
Dubai heavyweights Tristan Bain and Conan Liquid drop house and disco. 5pm-3am, free.
Laughter Factory, Zinc
New Zealander Carey Marx is joined by Steve Shanyaski and Nick Dixon for this month’s installment. 8pm, Dhs140.
Thursday 11
INFUSION PICK! Analog Room, Q Underground
Dasha Rush returns after a stellar set earlier in the season for another round of techno and electronica. 10pm, Dhs75.
House Nation, Kings Club
Scott Da Funk Harris is joined by Yasin Valimula for the start of this new night of underground beats. 10pm-3am.
Laughter Factory, Grand Millenium, Tecom
New Zealander Carey Marx is joined by Steve Shanyaski and Nick Dixon for this month’s installment. 9pm, Dhs140.
Sander Van Doorn, People By Crystal
Dutch trance star turns up the atmosphere as People By Crystal get an EDM infusion for the night. 11pm-3am, Dhs250 couples tickets in advance.
All of Level 41’s Thursday residents get behind the decks, including Mark Pickup, Tim Cheddar, Greg Dufton and more. 9pm-3am, Free.
Friday 12 Amy Winehouse Tribute, The Music Room
Funk, soul and pop classics from the UK’s Gyp Kenton, said to be one of the most authentic tributes. 9pm-3am, Dhs100.
INFUSION PICK!
House of Afrika, Level 41
South African DJ Dean Fuel heads up the last HoA at Level 41, before the new season begins at Level 41 the week after. 4pm-3am, free.
PARTY GUIDE
INFUSION PICK!
The 41 Finale, Level 41
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Look AND
LISTEN Music be the food of love, so read on...
> Music News > Albums > Tech Talk > Soundstage` > DJ Booth > DJ Top 10
Look and Listen
Music News... All ahead Zedd
Despite news that big-name EDM DJ and producer Zedd has lost hearing in his left ear, his September 5 gig at 0 Gravity is still confirmed. He Tweeted on August 18 that he’d been ‘diagnosed with a sudden hearing loss in my left ear’, but hadn’t been told whether it was permanent or temporary. Tickets start at Dhs180 for the 13 hour event, with local producer and DJ Dion Mavath on warm up duties.
MUSIC BITES “$180,000” The amount, per day, that 30 year old Calvin Harris got paid in the last year after Forbes Richlist estimated his annual income at $66million.
Guy Gerber and Puff Daddy free album After months of speculation and studio photos, the collaborative 11 11 album between Guy Gerber and Puff Daddy is now available via Beatport as a free download. The 11 track album spans downtempo numbers like ‘Never Walk Alone,’ tech house tracks like ‘I Hear Her Calling Me’ and plenty of 9 minute long epic tech workouts. And, encouragingly, although Sean Combs’ vocals do appear on several tracks, there’s very little Puff Daddy rapping you’ll be pleased to know.
Look and Listen
Album Reviews... Rainer Truby – Slouse: Fishing In Slower Territories House/Nu-Disco
I
facebook.com/compostrecords
A lot can change in 15 years. Presidents come and go, World Cups get won and lost and house music continues to grow and evolve, helping spawn current infatuations like EDM. But while that strain of dance music has gone faster, house has got slower. Way back when, dance music would be pitched anywhere from 125-130BPM, which in dancefloor terms is pretty high energy stuff. Today, speeds are getting slower, and slower – deep house maxes out at 122 BPM, while the arrival of nu-disco has made those speeds plummet even further. And zeitgeist friendly label Compost have played their part, and continue to do so thanks to this 13 track compilation from Rainer Truby. Slower tempos allow for music to breathe and grow, for more nuanced production, and that’s exactly what we find. Maurice Fulton supplies a dash of discoid electro funk on his remix of Alice Smith, while Session Victim supply some Afro-tinged goodness on their remix of Egyptian Nipples and Compost star Christian Prommer closes out the compilation with a woozy, acid-fried wonky original. Slow, but funky dancefloor business.
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Look and Listen
Utah Jazz – Port Folio Drum and Bass
I
facebook.com/UtahJazzMusic
There’s more to Drum and Bass than triple drops, bowel re-arranging basslines and shuddering beats, a lot more. Like Utah Jazz. One of the first Fabric residents upon its opening, and aged just 19, Luke Wilson AKA Utah Jazz has been involved in the Drum and Bass scene since the turn of the millennium. His debut album, It’s A Jazz Thing propelled him into the mainstream, and we now find him on his 4th installment, once more creating a liquid funk tapestry. While there are plenty of rolling, melodic moments, the album delves into the bass world more than previous works, notably on ‘Live Your Life’ and ‘Here Today, Gone Tomorrow.’ Shot full with found samples, rolling rhythms and sunny-side up vibes, this is good time Drum and Bass for those that want to dig a bit deeper.
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Look and Listen
MUSIC THAT MATTERS Send tracks/edits/remixes to andy@infusion.ae
Lefox – Dubai Beats Authority Volume 2 Tropical, bass-friendly house mix from new-on-the-scene Dubai DJ Lefox, including cuts from Caribou and Ben Pearce. soundcloud.com/finlay_lefox/ Ejaz – Unleashed Former Trilogy and 2Liv resident releases this 126BPM, rolling, driving techno monster. www.beatport.com/release/ unleashed-original-mix/1347808 Johnny Bailo + Damian D’Costa - Nobody House music from our Bahraini brothers this time, with Johnny Bailo and Damian D’Costa teaming up for this vocal house banger. www.beatport.com/release/ nobody/1348977 Omar Basaad – 2Love With impressive gigs at Creamfields and Sandance in the past year, plus ultra commercial EDM offerings like this, the future’s very bright for this Saudi producer and DJ. soundcloud.com/omar-basaad/ Darko De Jan – The Gucha We’re not quite sure what a Gucha is, but it was certainly
strong enough to propel Armani Prive’s resident into the Top 100 charts recently with this propulsive tech house track. www.beatport.com/track/thegucha-original-mix/5585462 Steve G – Rock Out Jacking flavoured house vibes from our South African familia here, with the always reliable Head and Tails Music offering up this 2 track EP, the groovy, more melodic ‘Get Out’ our pick. soundcloud.com/ headsandtailsmusic/sets/rockout-ep Deep Hertz feat. Madeleine – Summertime Sparkly, summer happy lounge track from Dubai producer Deep Hertz, with sultry, poolside vocals from Infusion fave Madeleine. www.traxsource.com/ track/1861890/summertimeoriginal-mix Mo City – Wild City 80 Sprawling, funk laden 100 minute journey that takes in over 70 tracks. Glitchy, smooth, bassfriendly and with a subtle hip hop vibe, this is as impressive as it is hard to define. soundcloud.com/thewildcity/wildcity-080-dj-mocity
Pioneer DJE 1500 There’s a first time for everything. And perhaps like other first times, this was initially uncomfortable and a little awkward. It’s fair to say, wearing in-ear headphones to DJ was very much a first for us. We’ve got years of over-ear experience behind us, but plugging them into our earholes definitely felt an odd experience. Getting to grips with them was a little tricky at first. The silicon earphone tips are pretty redundant, they fall out easily and were near impossible to change sizes. But plug on the premium earphone tips that are made of moulded plastic and turn up the volume, and the appeal becomes apparent. The sound is focused, clear and punchy, and when we tried them in Casa Latina’s DJ Booth for their Bassworx night, we were pleasantly surprised at the results. Thanks to the in-ear fit and the noise reduction, we didn’t have to turn the monitor level up as much, saving our eardrums, which can only be a good thing (look after your hearing DJs!) They also have a neat over-ear set up, with the cord running over the top of the ear, helping give a more secure fit. Again, it took a few tries to make it feel natural, but once locked in, they made for a comfortable fit. On the flip side, the cord is too short for DJs like that to roam around the DJ booth, and the headphones can be pulled out or disrupted with some vigorous head bobbing. But if you’re tired of the over-ear experience, and want to try something different (and save your eardrums), the DJE 1500s are a good place to start.
Dhs 799
Soundstage
Physical Graffiti
We caught up with the local folk foursome who have been compared to Bombay Bicycle Club and Jason Mraz… Our first musical influence was… Lamb Of God for Ankhur and Darren and Incubus for Zubin. The last pop star I liked was… Savage Garden. Our name comes from… Our favourite Led Zeppelin album. Best piece of advice you’ve received… Try the Thai Red Curry at Thai Terrace in Internet City. What’s your musical guilty pleasure… JUST JR - Money and Bass. The best band in Dubai is… Abri and The Funk Radius. Our music has been compared to… Jason Mraz and Bombay Bicycle Club. Lamest claim to faim… My breathy countdown in between a song (Zubin). When I make it, the one thing I want on my rider… Different guitars for each song (Darren). Our musical motto is… Let’s get physical. Best gig you’ve played… The Gap Music Festival. The best lyrics of all time are… ‘Weights and Measures’ by Dry The River. soundcloud.com/physicalgraffitimusic acebook.com/physicalgraffitimusic
L Club dance till you drop! Best arabic Hits @ the most luxurious arabic club in town Get your groove on with Micho every thursday and Friday night Doors open at 11pm For reservations Call: +971 52 810 3333 or +971 50 226 6432 Mรถvenpick Ibn Battuta Gate Hotel, Dubai.
DJ Booth: Woodle
The man behind bass behemoth, Bassworx, Woodle talks us through his love of Kevin Spacey, NKD Pizza and living the Drum and Bass dream‌
One thing you might not know about me is... I work at Dubai airport as their wayfinding and signage consultant. My worst ever job was… One day as a door-to-door double glazing salesman. The glorious clichéd jobs of the 90s. My favourite ever record is... So many tunes, so many genres… Here are 2 at opposite ends of the spectrum. Booker T & The MGs, ‘Green Onions’ and and Sneaker Pimps ‘6 Underground’. DJing is much like… Art. You can spend years crafting your own style, or just Google someone else’s work and stick an Instagram filter on it. Dubai’s clubbing scene is… Underrated and over-berated. Yes there are plenty of glitzy ‘deep house’ nights, but we also get a brilliant cross-section of live bands, acts and international DJs. I’m really proud of... My 2 month old son Charlie. Total legend and loves his music already. What track could you drop in every set? It depends on the genre but for Drum & Bass it would have to be ‘True Romance’ by D Bridge & Vegas. I can’t live without... My phone. Cliché? Yep… Other than anything else it’s my main link back to friends and family in the UK. My biggest DJ achievement to date is… Bassworx here in Dubai. I’ve played at some big UK clubs, but if you’d told me 3 years ago I’d be spinning with Specimen A, Mistanoize, Q Bik, Level 2, Disaszt and D Bridge, I wouldn’t believe you! What is your guiltiest pleasure? Weekends full of takeaway, I should have just bought shares in NKD Pizza when I moved here. If you could DJ in any decade which would it be... I’d happily go back to the late 90s and do it all over again. If I could go back-to-back with any other DJ it would be... Andy C. Technically amazing DJ, rightfully at the top of the Drum & Bass tree for over 2 decades. I’m not a politician but… If I was I’d base my career on Kevin Spacey’s character in House Of Cards. soundcloud.com/woodle www.facebook.com/clubbeats
TranceFamilyUAE facebook.com/ TrancefamilyUae
Aly & Fila feat. Karim Youssef Laily Above & Beyond feat. Richard Bedford Sun & Moon Orjan Nilsen - Legions Alex M.O.R.P.H. feat. Sylvia Tosun An Angels Love Armin Van Buuren - Orbion Ahmed Romel - Victory Barrie Birse - The Beginning Paul Oakenfold - Cafe Del Mar Gareth Weston - Prominence Gareth Emery feat. Christina Novelli Concrete Angel
Julia Poly Apres soundcloud.com/ dj-julia-poly
Yousef - By The Way You Dance Jaques Le Noir, Bruno Linares - Praise You State Unknown - Dirty habits (Dolly Rockers Remix) Gene Farris - Move Your Body Julia Poly - Live & Die In L.A. (Veiga Remix) Profundo & Gomes - El Maleconazo Mjuzieek FCL - It’s You (Mousse T.’s Teef Vocal Mix) Johnny Fiasco - Yolo Krankbrother - Thank You Baby Alessio Caforio - I Need Your Love
Amanda Jayd Statos Bar Le Royal Meridien Abu Dhabi soundcloud.com/ amanda-jayd
Tube & Burger, Daniel Steinberg - Let me down (Tube & Berger Remix) Ferreck Dawn, Redondo - Love Too Deep EDX - Make Me Feel Good (Original) Luca Debonaire, Jay Double U - My love for you Dusky - Love Taking Over (original) Naxxos, Sam Feldt - New Orleans (Sam Feldt) Sofia Zlatko, Vijay - Shake Some (Inner rebels) Ruffneck, Lucas & Steve, Yavahn - Everybody Be Somebody DJ Anna, Beverly Ely - Secret (Full intention Remix) Duke Dumont - Won’t Look Back
To submit your Top 10, send in the above format to andy@infusion.ae
VS.
FEAT
PRESENTS
dBRIDGE
SP:MC
THURSDAY 18th Sept 2014
Dubai's Drum & Bass heavyweights, GLOBALFUNK and BASSWORX collide to bring you the Middle East debut of Exit Records head honcho - dBRIDGE - with SP:MC on the mic... Support from MACH4, Somalie, Woodle, JAB, MC Ollywood, MC Prit & JD Odyssey. The night will be held at Casa Latina, Ibis Al Barsha. AED 100 from 9pm-3am. Over 21s only. @InfusionMag @globalfunkdxb @bassworx_dxb
/infusionmagazine /globalfunkDXB /BASSWORX.DXB
Looking
CLOSER Opinions, thoughts and gibberish...
> Weird News > The Spin > Just For Kicks > Watching Your Weight > Lights, Camera, Action > Movies > Angry Monkey
Looking Closer
Weird News... Trip flop
An American man drove his white sedan into his swimming pool, after getting his flip flops tangled up in the pedals. He fortunately managed to escape through the back door, but not before his car had become a water ornament. Let this be a lesson to all those who dress’n’drive in Dubai.
WEIRD PIC
Friendly fire
49 year old BASE jumper Lonnie Bissonnete has taken the axiom ‘If at first you don’t succeed’ to its conclusion, after returning to the US bridge that left him paralyzed and successfully jumping it in his wheelchair.
Dogs love fetch, right? Sticks, stones, newspaper, and grenades, apparently. A beach in the UK was sealed off after a man was spotted throwing a Second World War grenade for his dog to chase. An off duty military explosives expert happened to be walking past as the man threw what he thought was a stone for his dog to chase, thankfully intervening before any damage could be done.
The Spin SEPTEMBER 2014
PAGE 100
issue 4
New club resuscitation service to launch Back2life, a brand new VIP service that brings customers back from the brink, is launching this September. With promoters increasingly bringing their events forward into the stupidly hot summer months, one cunning entrepreneur has taken advantage of the growing heat stroke market. Richard Hott noticed the trend last year, but it wasn’t until promoters started putting up event pages for outdoor events on Facebook for the start of September that he realized he could make a killing. ‘People seem to forget that September is still stupidly hot. Every year, it only cools down from mid-October onwards, but promoters insist on trying to make as much money as possible by pushing their events earlier and earlier.’ Back2Life will be available at all outdoor venues throughout September, with extra staff booked in for Lady Gaga’s gig on September 10. ‘We’re prepared for any eventuality,’ said Hott, ‘but if Mrs Gaga insists on wearing a meat dress, then it’ll come back as bacon after it’s been through our defibrillator.’
UAE cattle stocks at all time low due to record levels of hip hop beef *
These stories are not true, this is not a real newspaper. This is a parody/fiction/satire/joke. The Spin is not intended, in any way whatsoever, to be taken as factual.
Just For
Reebok Instapump
20th Anniversary Reebok have had something of a renaissance in the trainer world recently, but it’s a 20 year old classic that’s caught our eye this month. They’ve teamed up with uber cool Scottish trainer designers Hanon to celebrate 20 years of Instapump goodness. The shoe features a grey perforated suede base, a navy inflatable cage, red and green accents on the supports and tongue, and a crisp white midsole that’s distinctively split. They’re not cheap, but they are very cool and very limited and are available now from sneakerpolitics. com for $190
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Watching your weight Infusion’s fittest team member, Mon Belle, took on the iHealth challenge…
Most exercise/health monitors are horrible clunky eye-sores that you wouldn’t really want anyone else to see you use, they might think you’re a bit special. The iHeath Wireless Activity and Sleep Tracker looks pretty cool coming complete with 2 interchangeable colours - it’s something I actually didn’t mind wearing for the week and people commented on how cool my “watch” was. It’s pretty simple to use. You download the free app to your phone (iPhone App store worked for me) fill in your details, weight height, age, in order to get a fair analysis of your daily routine and you’re away. I’ve never been one to watch what I eat but the iHealth App made it fun. I loved that it promoted healthy daily activity with the Activity section counting my daily steps, calories burned, distance travelled and storing them day by day you can be in competition with yourself to do better the next day.
at&t
It also enables to you to watch what you eat and counts the calories entering the types of foods, and amount of food consumed during the day. This part did start to get a bit laborious as after the 3rd day it was more of a chore having to go through the extensive catalogue of foods trying to find something that matched what was on my plate. It’s clear that the manufacturer is American as the list of foods are mostly US brands. Also they have multiple names for simple foods like, juice, water, fish, bread, weetabix, which was annoying. The best function for me was the Sleep Tracker. I’m a terrible sleeper anyway, with a cocktail of daytime office hours and long working weekends, meaning my sleeping pattern is pretty nonexistent. It was great to have something that monitored my sleep. It went into detail showing me how many times a night I got up, how long it took me to fall asleep and how long I actually had deep sleep for. Whether you’re using it as a tool to help you lose weight and get in shape, or whether you’re curious to know more about your body and what you’re doing to it, it’s easy to use and will have you doing more in no time. healthlabs.com
$59.95 at&t
RA,
CAME , S T H LIG
ACTION
d (oh yay, buster perio can roll. ck lo b r e m m e od tim s d the su We’ve brave ormers) and now the go the popcorn, and b sf another Tran ay and Andy Buchan graour way this year… Stephen D e best films coming preview th
GONE GI 2nd RL
October
Director: David Fincher Starring: Ben Affleck, Rosalind Pike, Neil Patrick Harris. Adapted by Gillian Flynn from her best selling novel and with David Fincher at the helm, this is perhaps the most anticipated thriller of the year. Ben Affleck plays the dutiful husband who sees the spotlight turned on him when it’s suspected that he may not be so innocent following his wife’s disappearance. Fans of the book will be pleased to note Ms Flynn has totally rewritten the 3rd act.
F17uOcrtoyber Director: David Ayer Starring: Brad Pitt, Logan Lerman, Shia LaBeouf End of Watch and Training Days director Ayer takes control of this 2nd World War tank battle, with Pitt – nicknamed Wardaddy – commanding a Sherman tank on a deadly mission behind enemy lines. You know it’ll be gung-ho happy, but with Ayer in charge of the action, expect captivating footage, and with a strong cast including Jon Bernthal and Mr Pitt on board, it should give the film some gravitas to balance the American heroics.
Inters
tellar
6th Nov ember
Director: Christopher Nolan Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Jessica Chastain, . Christopher Nolan returns to Sci-Fi bringing with him the hottest actor currently on the planet plus a couple of Batman alumni in the shape of Anne Hathaway and Michael Caine. A film about a group of explorers making use of a newly discovered wormhole to surpass the limitations on human space travel and conquer the vast distances involved in an interstellar voyage - sounds weird and confusing? That’s what you said about Inception before you saw it and we all know how that turned out. Definitely not one to leave your brain in the foyer for.
Dum a nd Dumbber To 14th Novemb er
men: Kingsre c Se icte Serv
ember 14th Nov
WILD
5th Dec ember
Director: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly Starring: Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels While it could be argued that you can’t improve on the gross-out, slapstick comedy of the original, a growing clamour for the film and Harry and Lloyd’s simple nature means there’s a lot of goodwill towards this film. 20 years on from their first adventure, the dimwit pair head out in search of one of their long lost children in the hope of gaining a new kidney. Director: Matthew Vaughn Staring: Colin Firth, Taron Egerton, Samuel L Jackson, Mark Strong For a Director like Matthew Vaughn to jump ship from X-Men Days Of Future Past to this must mean it’s going to be something special. Based on a Mark Miller comic of the same name we find an aging spy (Firth) take a young apprentice (Egerton) under his wing. The trailer is full on, like a cross between Bond and Wanted and if it’s half as good as either of them we are in for a treat. Director: Jean-Marc Vallee Starring: Reece Witherspoon, Gaby Hoffmann There’s a lot going for this film. Diretor Jean-Marc was last seen guiding Dallas Buyer’s Club to greatness, while the script has been adapted by Nick Hornby from a real life tale. Following a personal tragedy, Reece Witherspoon is the woman who sets out on a 1,100 mile journey of self-discovery along the Pacific Crest Trail, taking in breathtaking scenery across the Mojave desert, California and Oregon.
: Exodusnd Gods as King mber
e 12th Dec
Director: Ridley Scott Starring: Christian Bale, Sigourney Weaver, Aaron Paul Whether this makes it to this region is debatable, but we’re hoping that Ridley Scott’s biblical re-telling of the exodus of the Hebrews from Egypt as led by Moses, and based on the Old Testament Book of Exodus does make it pass the censors. Scott has been on mixed ground recently (Prometheus and The Counselor), but no one does big brainy epics quite like the Alien and Blade Runner director, so our hopes are high.
The Ho Battlebbit: The Five Of The 17th DArmies
ecembe r
Director: Peter Jackson Staring: Martin Freeman, Ian Mckellen, Cate Blanchet, Benedict Cumberbatch, Richard Armatige etc etc. The final shot of part 2 left us with a glimpse of Smaug in full flight heading for the village and then fade to black. Whilst it was a marked improvement on Pt1, will the final installment deliver what everyone wants to see? The Company of Thorin has reached Smaug’s lair; but, can Bilbo and the Dwarves reclaim Erebor and the treasure? And, if so, can they hold on to it? It’s going to be epic in every sense as The Hobbit finally comes to a close and (sniff sniff) we leave the world of Tolkien and the Shire for good.
MOVIE Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 14 years after the original comes this liveaction reboot, as the Turtles in a half shell face up to an evil kingpin (aren’t they all) who wants to take over New York. Classification: 13 Director: Jonathan Liebesman Starring: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner
Foxcatcher
Based on the true story of Mark Schultz, an Olympic wrestler whose relationship with sponsor John du Pont and brother Dave Schultz would lead to unlikely circumstances. Classification: 15 Director: Bennett Miller Starring: Channing Tatum, Mark Ruffalo
PREVIEWS Deliver Us From Evil
NY police officer Ralph Sarchie (Eric Bana), investigates a series of crimes, joining forces with an unconventional priest (Edgar Ramirez), schooled in the rituals of exorcism, to combat the unknown forces terrorising the city. Classification: 18 Director: Scott Derrickson Starring: Eric Bana, Édgar Ramírez, Olivia Munn
Sin City 2 – A Dame To Kill Long awaited follow up to the comic book adaption, with more striking neo-noir action and over the top violence. Classification: 18 Director: Frank Miller, Robert Rodriguez Starring: Jessica Alba, Mickey Rourke, Rosario Dawson
Disclaimer: Film release schedules are subject to change, please check reelcinemas.ae, novocinemas.com and voxcinemas.com for full schedules.
SEPTEMBER 11
Going Down Believe it or not, the Monkey has a day job. This column does allow me to treat myself every now (like being able to afford entry to some of the clubs here so I can openly point and laugh at people), but I need a real job to put food on the table for the family. And the daily grind begins every morning when I get in the lift for work. There’s normally a grotesquely fat chap who hasn’t worked out that what goes in must come out, as he struggles to slide past you to get first dibs on the lift. Or there’s the twitchy exec who plunges the button dozens of times in the hope the lift will go faster. Or there’s the truly special elevator douche who presses both buttons at the same time. Darwinism clearly doesn’t work if you’re alive. Oh, and the simpering chimps who take the lift up a level are a whole new level of lazy, get on the stairs you fat deadweight. But my favourite is the guy or girl who flirts with themselves in the mirror while they think no one is watching, or even worse, taking a lift selfie as you enter, catching them in the middle of their photographic masturbating. The Monkey is always watching, and next time I catch you pouting at yourself through a miserable crowd of wretched end-of-days workers, I’ll be sure to throw my scat in your direction. Monkey Out... The Angry Monkeys’ views are his own, and don’t necessarily reflect the views of Infusion Magazine.
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