Infusion # 275 - July 31-Aug 14

MUSIC • PEOPLE • LIFE

CODE BREAKER!

NEW UK GARAGE NIGHT CODE LAUNCHES AT ARMANI/PRIVÉ FT.

The 9 clubbing books you have to read, Mind Against, Elton John, Major Lazer, Fatboy Slim, Robert Dietz, 360, NES Classic and more! infusionmag

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GUEST LIST TALAL BUDEBS Publisher

CHARL CHAKA

Managing Partner charlchaka@infusion.ae

SALES/MARKETING sales@infusion.ae 050 871 7493

ANDY BUCHAN

Editor andy@infusion.ae

PAULA MANGUEIRA

New Netflix show Stranger Things is 80s inspired TV magic that channels prime era Spielberg and J J Abrams. If you loved ET or Lost Boys, you’ll love this.

Word on the grapevine is that new club Ebenza is launching at the end of September with Fatboy Slim AND Solomun on opening night duties, big!

Design design@infusion.ae

CONTRIBUTORS: Stephen Day

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Milehigh Media, LLC PO Box 53443 – Dubai, UAE Tel/Fax: 04 368 8098

OUR PARTNERS

We’re loving the new street art in Karama, but wish they’d got some of the local street artists and graffiti taggers involved.

People not paying their bills. The heavies have, quite literally, been sent round.

Clubs asking for promoters to promote house nights, then telling them to play RnB on the night.

Does my fist in your face indicate the right level of no?

Summer heat and humidity is set to rise in August, making it feel like 70 degrees. Or death. It’ll feel like death. With a hangover.

BLACK LIST

SAY WHAT? DANCEFLOOR DICTIONARY Beer there, done that :: colloquial phrase to describe a past-it raver who now sports a beer belly telling young kids that clubbing ‘ain’t what it used to be.’

DANCEFLOOR DICTIONARY 2 Tequila mockingbird :: when the DJ has to down shots to soften the blows after a drunk requester keeps hassling for Rihanna at a deep house night.

MEME CORNER:

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WE LOVE The Recipe

They’ve been knocked down, forgotten about and relegated to that most noble but obscure of genres – Middle East Hip Hop. But, there is literally no stopping The Recipe since their resurrection late last year, and their new track with Talib Kweli – yes, that Talib Kweli – is proof that you get back what you put in.

The track, ‘Place To Rest’, is an aggressive, urgent, insistent hip hopper that features Spark Master Tape alongside Kanye West collaborator Kweli dropping a fast, loquacious free-flowing rap.

Underpinned by a late night guitar soundtrack and a chorus of ‘oooohs’ and ‘aaaaahs,’ it’s an assured slice of hip hop and one that should send one of our best musical exports into a brave new world.

Looking Back

What we did

PLUS MINUS SUMMER SESSIONS FEAT. YAYA @ ON 42 Whisper it quietly, but some of the best parties happen in the Dubai summer time, when large swathes of the population are Instagramming themselves silly in Ibiza or Croatia.

And so it proved for the Plus Minus Summer Sessions opener, as Desolat signee Yaya dropped cutting edge tech-house and techno to a bang-up-for-it crowd of 500 plus. Mixing across vinyl and CDJs, his high energy set closed with Cajmere’s classic ‘Brighter Days.’

Bacardi have teamed up with the On42 venue (which is a big step up from the old space Level 41), creating a bespoke Bacardi Beach concept with properly cool décor and enough fun stuff to almost – almost – distract you away from the dancefloor.

Up next: Plus Minus feat. Adam Shelton August 5, Robert Dietz August 12

SUBURBAN @ TRIBECA

SOMETHING BIG FEAT. PREDITAH @ STORY ROOFTOP

PLUS MINUS FEAT. YAYA @ ON 42

Want to learn how to DJ? djfactory@infusion.ae

䰀 䄀䐀䤀䔀匀 一䤀䜀䠀吀 䔀嘀䔀刀夀 吀唀䔀匀䐀䄀夀

吀䠀䔀 唀䰀吀䤀䴀 䄀吀䔀 䨀唀一䜀䰀䔀 倀䄀刀吀夀 䔀嘀䔀刀夀 䘀刀䤀䐀䄀夀

THURSDAY - AUGUST 4

Abu Dhabi purveyors of quality house and techno Boogie Box are going big this month, with Cocoon and Get Physical DJ Agent playing their Cinnabar Hilton party on August 4….

My sound: Agent!

Track I’d play at the end of the night…

Basement Jaxx - Fly Life Track I’d play to open a set…

Agent! - Southside Berlin Track I’d play to rescue a night…

Sante - Sick Drunmmer Track I wish I’d made…

Junior Boys - Like A Child (Carl Craig Remix) Track I could play in every set…

Pele & Shawnecy - Sixtynine Track I always get people asking me about when I drop it…

My new demo, thanks for all the requests lads!

Track I wish I’d never dropped…

Some stupid bootlegs when I was younger and booties were in!

First track I’d play at my wedding…

Chris Isaak - Wicked Game Boogie Box feat. Agent!, Thursday August 4, Cinnabar, Hilton Abu Dhabi, 9pm-3am

THURSDAY - AUGUST 4

Local News FOCUS FEAT. MIND AGAINST The team behind Groove on the Grass are back in action with their summer party Focus and have previous GotG guests Mind Against playing their August 4 party at Media One’s new club space On42. Expect sultry techno, moving melodies and lots of hands in the air action from the Italian duo now based in Berlin. Support comes from Ejaz and Deian, with tickets AED100.

CODE WORD No.1 Events – surely one of the busiest event teams in the UAE – are back in action with yet another new night. Launching on August 4, their new night Code at Armani Prive is the first ever UK Garage night in the world's tallest building (now there's a claim to fame) and features MC Bushkin of Heartless Crew acclaim alongside DT (who was part of scene defining track 'Do You Really Like It'), with local support from Djs Adam J, Brooklyn and Superfly.

Gig Guide Analog Room feat. Volt Music, Story Rooftop Analog Room have teamed up with Volt Music (resident Siamak Amidi’s label) for a showcase at their Story Rooftop home. Animous headline with their deep acid sound, with support from Nasrawi.

FRIDAY - AUGUST 5

Best of the brunch Funky house DJ and certified workaholic Jon Besant is back with 3 new parties this season, including teaming up with Love Parties for their new Friday brunch Hidden…

You’re launching 3 weekly events at Cirque, Tribeca and the Media One Hotel, on top of your summer work in Ibiza and Marbella – when do you have time to sleep?!

I turn down more than I accept.

And I have a rule that one day a week I don’t even open my laptop unless it’s to watch a movie in bed! That sounds a bit risqué doesn’t it! I mean Netflix.

You’re part of the Hidden Brunch line up – why has there been a resurgence of party brunches lately with Dustys, Loaded, Bassworx, The Act all getting involved alongside party brunch Kings Candy Pants?

Ben from Love Parties is fantastic at putting on brunches, it’s something I’ve never done before and before the summer

we were offered a brunch which we didn’t go for, but when Ben mentioned the location of Crab Tavern and Spirito Media One I trusted him due to his previous record.

Believe it or not I can’t answer your question as I’ve never been to a brunch the whole time I’ve lived here!

Musically, you’re a funky house man – how has working in Dubai affected your sound, have you had to diversify?

I’ve never left my classics! It’s worked for me for 25 years. I’ve had to adapt to RnB when I was at Cavalli and upfront on the odd Zero Gravity gig though.

You’ve been busy in Marbella and Ibiza again this season with your History parties and Sin Sundays – we heard Dan Blizerian came along to a Sin Sunday, what stories can you tell us from that?

I only ran History in Marbella and co hosted Sin Sunday’s in Marbella. Chris Wright and Billie Clements are Sin Sundays.

What I can tell you about Dan

being at Ocean Beach though is he was surrounded by absolute worldies but that doesn’t make a difference as every girl Billie and Chris bring to their or our parties are all stunners anyway!

Having been in Dubai for a while now, what Djs do you admire in the scene?

I love watching the journey of my pal Mark Pickup with Arcade 82, he’s stood by his beliefs and is going to go far. It’s also awesome to see Olly and Greg from Hollaphonic doing so well.

We’re sorry to hear about your Radio show House Party being cancelled when Radio 1 and 2 stopped broadcasting – any plans to resurrect that in the near future?

I was devastated, I put in so much work to make sure my sound complimented the playlist they gave me and it just worked so well. With regards to the future, things are in the pipeline but going back to your second question, I’m enjoying having a little break from music till the season kicks in next week.

FRIDAY - AUGUST 5

Cartel, Cirque Le Soir, every Wednesday from August 10 Exit 29, every Thursday at Tribeca, drinks and tapas from AED29 Hidden, every Friday, 1-5pm, Level 9, Media One Hotel, from AED299

Gig Guide Sunstroke record label launch party, 360 The next step in the Sunstroke evolution is the launch of their own record label, which will feature label signee Dusky on headline duties. Get down to 360 for some funky, classic house sounds with Jack Woodcock and friends on support. 5pm-3am, free.

Plus Minus Summer Sessions feat. Adam Shelton, On 42 One Records house producer and DJ Adam Shelton plays for the Plus Minus crew – expect dancefloor shaking house music with resident TODD on support duties. 9pm-3am.

Beats’n’Brunch, The Act The Act’s new daytime party returns after an impressive opening party, with Sam Starks and Jean B heading up the tunes from 2pm.

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FRIDAY - AUGUST 12

A quick word with Robert Dietz…

Plus Minus continue their Summer Sessions with underground Berlin DJ and producer Robert Dietz lined up to play at On42…

Has the first half of 2016 been kind to you?

It has been very kind to me, no complaints. I had enough time to work in the studio and played some lovely gigs all over the world.

You’re just back from Barcelona and Off Sonar where you played a B2B with Tobi Neumann, how was the party and your time in BCN? Unfortunately Tobi couldn’t show up to the gig due to health reasons and I had to navigate through the night alone, but I think I managed it quiet well. Barcelona during Sonar is always fun when you are down with the right people, you are not trying to hard to be at the best party and just go with the flow. This year I was there with eight friends to celebrate a birthday and a state examination of one of them. Pure bliss for 3 days.

Do you like to play B2B sets or are you much more of a solo artist?

I really do like to play b2b sets if you have the same ideas of quality music and flow but sometimes the challenge to push boundaries can be something interesting too.

Is this the same for collaborating in the studio?

Yes, same here but this is totally a feeling thing, I’m way more sensitive and careful here.

You are also featuring in Ibiza this season, what gigs are you most looking forward? Does playing in Ibiza still hold the same appeal it once did?

Evn though you’ve seen the island from almost every angle in its highs and lows, it’s still exciting to play in front of such a big crowd from all over the world celebrating hedonism and their holidays.

I’m most looking forward to my debut on the Amnesias terrace in September.

How are things with Truth Be Told? What sort of difficulties have you encountered and how have you balanced them with being a touring artist?

The label is doing fine. It is of course an expensive project and it needs a lot of time and attention to grow in the right direction, but it’s great to have your own channel to spread ideas and music you like.

Plus Minus Summer Sessions feat. Robert Dietz, Friday August 12, On 42, Media One Hotel, 10pm-3am

Art attack FRIDAY - AUGUST 12

Story Rooftop are venturing into the art world on August 12 with the 3rd Art Fusion Night which showcases global talents now based in the UAE Taking a broad spectrum of talents – artists, painters, photographers, musicians, comedians and poets are all on board – the night gives local artists a platform to shine. Confirmed so far are UAE singers Menon and MKO, live paint and art from Victor Sitali with renowned Abu Dhabi White Cube photographer Waleed Shah showcasing some of his best works.

Previous editions of the Art Fusion Night have featured everything from stand up comedy to cutting edge runway shows, with artists from Pakistan, Nigeria, America and more coming together under one roof. More events like this please, Dubai!

Art Fusion Night, Story Rooftop, AED150 including 2 drinks and 1 food platter, doors open from 6pm.

FRIDAY - AUGUST 12 Gig Guide Adrian Hour, XL Techno from the South American DJ and producer who’s remixed for Underworld and Mark Knight during his career. 10pm-3am.

Rock Nation Classic Rock Festival, Music Room 50 classic rock anthems throughout the night as covered by local stars like Core 304, Sandstorm, Loose Cannons and organizer Nikhil Uzgare. 6pm-3am.

Submission, Story Rooftop Acclaimed producer Paul Hamilton teams up with Rick Andrews for a night of house, progressive, tech, vocal, deep and tribal beats (that’s pretty much everything, then). 10pm-3am, AED100 men, ladies free RUMOURS High end Cannes club Gotha is set to open later this year in Business Bay. Controversial German metal band Rammstein (below) are rumoured to be coming to Abu Dhabi in December.

Cassy has been confirmed as one of the first Blue Marlin Ibiza UAE on September 16.

Fatboy Slim (right) has been confirmed as the opening night DJ for new venue Ebenza alongside AndHim and Solomun at the end of September.

ELTON JOHN, SELENA GOMEZ, MAJOR LAZER AND MORE ARE COMING TO TOWN! Major news on the live music front, as the 117Live team have announced their Autumn Season, with Elton John, Major Lazer, Selena Gomez and All Saints all playing live.

The action starts on October 28 with their new Halloween party Fiesta De Los Muertos which will host Major Lazer, re-formed UK girl band All Saints and local electronic heroes Hollaphonic at the Autism Rocks Arena out near Outlet Mall.

They’re followed by pop princess Selena Gomez who performs on November 19 as part of her revival tour, before the big one – Sir Elton John. The piano man will be playing live as part of his Wonderful Crazy Night world tour on December 15. With over 5 decades in the music business, and over 250 million albums sold, he’s a bona fida legend, and should produce a show to remember for years to come.

Lock in the dates and pre register for all information regarding on sale and to receive the exclusive pre sale link access for the upcoming Autumn shows at www.117live.com

ON THE RADAR

AUGUST 25

SUPERHEROES FEAT. WOZ, On 42

AUGUST 25-27 HOP FEST Irish Village

SEPTEMBER 2

PLUS MINUS FEAT. KARMON On 42

SEPTEMBER 29 FATBOY SLIM Ebenza

OCTOBER 6

MADNESS, Dubai Tennis Stadium

OCTOBER 7

ZAYN, Autism Rocks Arena

ON THE RADAR

OCTOBER 28

NOVEMBER 27

NOVEMBER 11

DECEMBER 1-3

SENSATION, Bab Al Shams

RUGBY 7S, The Sevens Stadium

NOVEMBER 25

DECEMBER 15

MAJOR LAZER, Autism Rocks

CHEMICAL BROTHERS du Arena

RIHANNA du Arena

ELTON JOHN Autism Rocks Arena

The 9 best music and clubbing books

Summer, the perfect time to whack the AC down, cuddle up with a duvet and expand your literal world. We’ve picked nine of our favourite music and clubbing books, the tomes that have helped define scenes, tell unbelieveable stories (in Keith Richards’ case, they’re true) and give you goosebumps as they recount the history of dance music

How Music Works – David Byrne Part auto biography of the Talking Heads star, part anthropological music theory and part indispensable music bible, How Music Works is a fascinating, brilliantly written book that covers everything from why birds sing to the punk rock explosion. The non linear structure can be hard to digest as it flits from fascinating Talking Heads anecdotes to a lecture-like dissection of music as an art form, but stick with it, as the book rewards you with intelligent debate.

How Music Got Free – Stephen Witt Or the demise of the music industry, as Witt traces the journey from the creation of the MP3 (which took a team of German scientists over a decade) to content sharing sites like BitTorrent and Napster, and then how the record industry adapted to the seismic changes (hint: they didn’t). With plenty of gonzo glee, and some excellent character studies – including Dell Glover, one of the first uploaders who literally stole 20,000 albums from his record processing plant – it’s a fascinating take on the pre-Spotify era of music.

Kill Your Friends – John Niven Ignore the recent film adaptation and instead read this coruscating, brutally dark and funny account of Stephen Stelfox, a late 90s record label A&R who drinks, snorts and kills his way through the music industry. Imagine American Psycho but with more Britpop and you’re not far off. An utterly despicable character – and one (very) loosely based on anecdotal research – Stelfox’s antics get ever more debauched as he searches for the next pop hit, stopping at nothing to get his way.

Last Night A DJ Saved My Life – Bill Brewster & Frank Broughton Indispensable reading for any DJ (and wannabe), Brewster and Broughton form a formidable double team as they trace the history of dance music through soul, reggae, hip hop, disco, house and techno. The book is full of facts: did you know that, technically, Jimmy Saville was the world’s first DJ? The Observer called Last Night one of the greatest music books of all time, and we’d wholeheartedly agree. Their follow up, How To DJ Right: The Art and Science of Playing Records is well worth a read as well.

Energy Flash: A Journey Through Rave Music and Dance Culture – Simon Reynonlds Part personal memoir and part cultural history, esteemed music journalist Simon Reynolds charts the rise of the rave scene in the with interviews from Goldie and Aphex Twin providing a valuable insight into one of the most explosive periods of dance music history.

Covering everything from Detroit techno to Dutch gabba, this is an authoritative, insightful analysis that was recently updated in 2013.

Turn The Beat Around – Peter Shapiro The big bang for house music, Peter Shapiro lovingly delves into disco’s rich history. He analyses everything: from the social and economic conditions that allowed disco to flourish to the key players that got disco onto the dancefloors (including, as convincingly argued by Shapiro, post-Nazi Swing Kids in Germany). Well researched and written with real energy, this book is the nearest you’ll get to stepping foot into Studio 54.

The Hacienda: How Not To Run A Nightclub – Peter Hook Bassist for New Order and Joy Division, Peter Hook was also one of the driving forces – and benefactors – in the Hacienda, the cult 80s nightclub that helped bring about the acid house revolution in the UK. In total, New Order had over half a million dirhams siphoned out of their accounts to fund the Hacienda dream, which initially at least, was mired in mis-management, poor turn outs and gang violence.

Hook is charmingly chatty throughout, and amazingly candid – notably describing when their NYE takings were set alight by indoor fireworks. As Tony Wilson, co-owner said: “Some people make money, others make history.”

John Peel - Margrave of the Marshes A broadcasting icon, John Peel’s death in 2004 not only prompted a world wide outpouring of grief but also meant that his autiobiography had to be finished by his wife Sheila. Written in his trademark self depcretating style, it’s a book full of personal revelations – he was molested as a young boy at his boarding school, and had a cold upbringing where he found meaning, love and life in music. At a young age he emigrated to America, and faking a Liverpudlian accent – the Beatles had just broken through – he managed to get onto radio, and the rest, as they say, is history. His Fabric Live CD still stands out as a testament to his all encompassing love of music, and this book is still as relevant now as when he first started turning a nation of radio listeners onto weird and wonderful music.

Life - Keith Richards To pick just one story out from Keith Richards’ incredible autobiography is to do the others dis-justice, but this is one of our favourites. “We would record from late in the afternoon until 5 or 6 in the morning, and suddenly the dawn comes up and I’ve got this speedboat. Go down the steps through the cave to the dockside; let’s take Mandrax to Italy for breakfast. . . . No passport, right past Monte Carlo as the sun’s coming up with music ringing in our ears.”

All the while listening to freshly cut tapes of tracks like ‘Rocks Off’ with the sun rising over the crystal blue waters of the Mediterranean.

How rock and roll is that? Life is essentially Keith telling you every little detail – every sordid, outrageous, incredible detail – of life in the greatest living rock band with real flair. It’s wildly entertaining, and should be essential reading for any band member and music fan.

Look and Listen

Music News MA’ANA TEAM UP WITH APPLE MUSIC

Local label Ma’ana have hit the big time as they’ve teamed up with Apple Music for a series of 5 playlists available to stream across the world. The custom-created playlists spanning everything from day time grooves to peak time house music are available now via applemusic.com/maana with 15-25 hand-picked tracks per playlist. And our favourite bit is that there’s a dedicated Ma’ana Homegrown playlist which promotes music from UAE talents.

HEAR HEAR!

Good news for the deaf and those suffering from tinnitus, as scientists now think that hearing loss could be reversible.

Scientists ran trials on mice based on research by Dr Albert Edge and found that their “notch inhibitor” could be treated to regrow sensory hair cells after hearing loss. Good news for half deaf DJs everywhere (seriously though, wear earplugs).

MADNESS CONFIRMED TO PLAY DUBAI

Ska legends Madness have been confirmed for a live show at the Dubai Duty Free Tennis Stadium on Thursday October 6.

The band, best known for classic hits like ‘Our House’ and ‘Baggy Trousers’ have experienced a renaissance in recent years thanks to high profile gigs at the Queen’s Jubilee and playing at the Closing Ceremony of the London Olympics.

During the 70s and 80s, the ska pop band spent over 214 weeks in the UK singles chart, including 15 Top 10 tracks, and are still a current pop band with their new album ‘Can’t Touch Us’ due for release later this year.

Tickets start from AED250 and are available from Platinumlist.net

MUSIC THAT MATTERS MICHAEL DUNNE – AMERICAN POEM

Thumping, progressive techno tune that’s bang on the money with its outspoken American rhetoric considering the ‘Trump situation’ soundcloud.com/michaeldunne-uk/ michael-american-poem Andrew Weatherall would do well to pick up a copy of this downtempo, dark nudisco track shot through with atmospheric synths and rumbling basslines. soundcloud.com/wesellboxes/walk-youthrough-this ANDY MCGIRR – SUB DIVISION PODCAST

Somalie heads up the latest house/techno podcast in this high quality series. soundcloud.com/andymcgirr/sets/subdivision-podcasts PHUNK INVESTIGATION – IT’S ALL DEVO (PAUL MENDEZ REMIX)

DXB producer Mendez turns in a chunky big room electro remix on this 80s influenced track starring new wave punk star Devo. soundcloud.com/paul-mendez/phunkinvestigation-its-all-devo-paul-mendezremix

Send tracks/edits/remixes to: andy@infusion.ae

WE SELL BOXES – WALK YOU THROUGH THIS

CONNEKT – EJAZ

Growing producer and John Digweed favourite Ejaz records this Chennai based podcast, with a sultry hour long blend of deep, techno tunes. soundcloud.com/the-connekt/connektcast-ejaz

DYSFUNKTION – SOUND OF SEASON ONE

Resident DJ and founder Ju Lovett soundtracks Dysfunktion’s excellent first season, with house and techno cuts from Bart Skills, Anna and Umek. mixes.beatport.com/mix/id/263586

TOM CHUBB – THE DOUBLE TAKE

Ex Dubai DJ Chubb stars on this EP out now on DXB based Reel House Records, with the chunkier ‘Take Me’ our pick. traxsource.com/title/656955/the-doubletake-ep

DARKO DE JAN – EXIT

Another Dubai DJ on Toolroom Records – yes! Dark, unrelenting and beautifully produced, Exit is top quality dance music. soundcloud.com/darko-de-jan/exit-1

DJ BOOTH: DJ MOCITY

One of the driving forces behind Karak Beats, and a resident DJ at cooler-than-cool nights Because We Can and Jukebox, MoCity makes his debut in the DJ Booth

My worst ever job was… Not having a job is the worst job ever, but if I had too then it would be during my time in Baghdad in 2013 when I got paid to create Facebook accounts for random people.

My favorite ever record is... The Chronic, Dr Dre. DJing is much like... Cooking food for hungry people, the end result is to leave happy and satisfied.

Dubai’s clubbing scene is... LIT. I’m really proud of... The 264 Cru and what we have achieved in less then a year.

What track could you drop in every set? Our 264 cru General Levy special produced and mixed by Zed Bias.

I can’t live without... Nutella and Snapchat.

My biggest DJ achievement to date is.. Still being here.

What is your guiltiest pleasure? I can’t say.

If you could DJ in any decade which would it be...

The late 90s/early 2000s.

If I could go back-to-back with any other DJ it would be... Lefto.

I’m not a politician but… I’m a PLUR individual . www.mixcloud.com/djmocity/

Weird News EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY Good news for Bubba, the puppy. After being found in a drug raid, it was later discovered that the poor pup was under the influence of various narcotics including heroin and crystal meth. His owner, Joshua West (may you burn in hell) has subsequently faced animal cruelty charges and the Jack Russell-Chihuahua cross is now 100% clean and ready to start a new life. He still looks pretty wired to us though to be honest.

SOCIAL CLIMBERS There’s been confusion at the top of the world, as 2 would be Mount Everest climbers have been accused of faking their summit photos in order to get their official climber certificates. The Indian couple of Mr and Mrs Rathod are under investigation

by Nepalese authorities amid accusations they doctored photos of them following the hike up all of Mount Everest’s 8,848m.

THE SPIN AUGUST 2016

PAGE 217

ISSUE 44

RAREST POKEMON FOUND SWIMMING IN DUBAI CLUB TOILET

Eagle-eyed Pokemon players across the world have been descending across Dubai to seek out the globe’s rarest Pokemon.

The aptly named Poo-klus can only be found in the toilets of the Desert Heat nightclub in the heart of Deira. The stampede of camera phone toting tourists led to the busiest night in the club’s history, and also put unprecedented strain on their sewage system, with the toilet quickly becoming blocked and overflowing, giving rise to the popular hashtag #youvegottocrapthemall.

In other Pokemon news, at least 4 clubs in the region have shamelessly looked to capitalize on the latest Nintendo app, with Frankie Knuckles reportedly said to be spinning in his grave (with a Charmander reportedly spotted nearby). *These stories are not true, this is not a real newspaper. This is a parody/fiction/satire/joke. The Spin is not intended, in any way whatsoever, to be taken as factual.

COOLSTUFF we want

NES

Classic Edition

What if we said that Nintendo was launching a miniature version of their classic NES console, that came pre-loaded with games like Super Mario and Legend of Zelda?

Well, it’s true – I know, major excitement overload. The NES Classic Edition will be available from November 11, making it a perfect Christmas present and will be just $59.99.

A self-contained console, it connects to your TV via an HDMI connection and comes with the classic NES controller. There’s no internet function, there are no fancy tricks, no 3D interactive graphics: it simply plugs into your TV and gives you 30 games to choose from including Donkey Kong, Castlevania, PAC-MAN and Final Fantasy. Simple, and devastatingly effective. Now to conquer Legend of Zelda all over again…

Eat Sleep Rave Repeat 360 Leading nightlife spot 360 have upped their game, and released the Nine Zero, a well-crafted Asian inspired menu. But will it deliver like its above deck big brother? Stephen Day has fun finding out‌

Dubai is a city full of iconic buildings, from the sky-scraping Burj to the DIFC arch or the twisty Cayan tower down in the Marina, each contributes something unique to the cityscape.

There are also iconic buildings for clubbing, including – obviously – 360. Set across the water by the Jumeriah Beach Hotel, it’s the home of many a great night or the site of perhaps far too many sundowners.

Sat inside is a little like being in a revolving restaurant without the revolve. The booths and tables are nicely spread out, all very comfortable and welcoming, while our knowledgeable waiter Andrii made us feel very at home as we looked through the menu. The first thing that stood out were the nods to Asian cuisines and influences, something I’m definitely in the mood for.

We went for pan seared scallops, bone marrow and a kicking sambal for starter. The sweetness of the scallop and chili really cut through the deep juicy marrow, it was a revelation and a great way to start.

We also ploughed our way through some of the nicest chicken satay I think I’ve ever eaten in Dubai, maybe even eaten anywhere, Thailand included. The chicken was succulent, full of flavour but seared to perfection so you got little pockets of crispy burnt bits every mouthful that took it to another level. The chicken fell off the skewers and left a lasting kick

of heat on the palate.

We waited excitedly for the mains to arrive: a barbecue shortrib, glazed carrots, pumpkin puree and shimeji mushrooms, plus a portion of Asian fish and chips. Both plates were plentiful and both dishes delivered great dollops of flavour.

The succulent meat almost dripped off the rib, with delicate coriander notes hitting the back of your throat, as the pop of the sweet corn salsa and the creamy Kimchi sauce collided with the crispy fish in your mouth. Both these mains were far better that I expected and both are recommended if you visit.

There was really only one choice for desert: a chocolate fondant, yes it’s clichéd but it’s so easy to get wrong, so we ordered a lemon sorbet as well just in case.

We shouldn’t have worried. This kitchen is professional to a tee.

The fondant gushed dark bitter chocolate larva but still retained enough cake texture to melt away in your mouth, whilst the sorbet smacked you in the face with a tart lemon and ginger finish, bang on.

Meal over, we sat and reflected.

Sometimes in this job it’s a little cooking by numbers in the city, same old same old. Sat here on the sea (if you excuse the pun), 360 may not be pushing the boat out as far as cutting edge food is concerned, it totally delivers on taste, which is far more important in my book.

360, Jumeirah Beach Hotel, https://www.facebook.com/360Dubai/

Time to pay Whisper it quietly – very quietly as we’ve heard stories of people being deported for less – but Dubai is undergoing a 2nd recession. The trickle down from the oil slump is very real, and it’s affecting the city.

Which is a shame, but it sorts the good from the bad, the shonky get-rich-DeVeres muppets from the community building society builders.

It also means that people are reneging on their bills. Big time.

You would not believe the people coming to The Monkey blaming cash flow problems for their inability to pay me back.

Which, obviously, I’m sensitive to for about 4 seconds before sending round Gary the Gorilla (he’s a few bananas short of a bunch, but handy with a bunch of fives) to mash them up.

Ironically, Gary is the only one who’s actually making money at the moment, so I might get into the talent management business. Meanwhile, stop making excuses and pay up before The Monkey uses these very pages to name and shame!

Monkey Out...

The Angry Monkeys’ views are his own, and don’t necessarily reflect the views of Infusion Magazine.

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