Ink Magazine: 7th Edition (Anniversary Edition)

The Ink

Anniversary Edition: January 2015

POWER UP |ˈpaʊə ʌp|

The Ink January 2015 Edition

EDITORIAL Hello readers!

January used to be a fine month until ‘Harmattan’ decided to overstep its boundaries by claiming it. Honestly, there’s nothing appealing about January anymore. Beginning of the year ‘mpo nie’. The only argument I have heard for the harmattan is that it dries clothes faster and here is what I say to that, so does a washer dryer.

Have you seen what happens when you leave your clothes on the line for too long in this horrible weather? They become a pale reflection

COVER

of their former selves; crisp and faded. Do not even get me started on the incessant licking of

THE EDITORS

Ahomka Mills-Robertson, Bowofoluwa Odunsi, Ewurabena Hagan, Euegene Akorli, Kingsley Agyekum, Mawuli Adjei, Naa Adukwei Quarcoopome, Susan Abraham

GRAPHIC DESIGN

Michael Annor, Nii Apa Abbey

PHOTOGRAPHY

Daniel Bonsu, Micaiah Wiafe, Pixelrate Studios

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Alfred Achiampong, Amanda Olive Amoah, Calvin Ayivie, Earlene Cruz, Emmanuel Tackie, Esther Addei, Eugene Afranie, Samir Suleman

All rights reserved. Copyright © The Ink 2015

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lips to prevent the cracks or the ludicrous amounts of lip gloss people drench their lips in to stay kiss-worthy. Fortunately for you, my dear cherished readers, there’s light at the end of this ridiculously dry and hazy tunnel; the coming of another great issue of your favourite online magazine. Boy do we have a lot in store for you.

Knock yourselves out.

Happy reading!

Joseph Nti, Editor-In-Chief

CONTENTS SPOTLIGHT

Pinamang Genfi Anthony Essel-Anderson

POETRY

Let Ali Breathe

PIECE

Wet Dreams Hard Guy But...

What’s in a Name The Theory of the Travelling Heads

FEATURE

Meet the Inkredibles Kitchen Connection

ASC

ASC Note- Esther Addei

STORY

What’s in a Name Ashime (Ebash Me Rough)

CAMPUS

Cafeteria Takeover HardTalk

RANT

Apa’s Milkshake

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SPOTLIGHT

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Pinamang On a normal day, you’d find this beauty shuffling between meetings, flipping her hair back and forth and bonding happily with friends. She is a lady of class.

She is gorgeous, smart, humble, classy, quite strange and highly mischievous. Oh! And before I run outta ink; she’s one helluva fashionista!! by:Eugene Afranie

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SPOTLIGHT

Pinamang Genfi: One helluva fashionista!

What is one thing people would be surprised to know about you?

I can’t swim, I can’t ride a bicycle, I can’t blow balloons.

What should every lady try at least once in her life?

I think as a lady you should try to go to the movies alone. It is very refreshing. Just buy a movie ticket with some popcorn and enjoy your movie without anyone.

Do you have best friends?

I know this question may sound personal but how close are you to your brother, we don’t see you both together often on campus?

We are actually very close. Well, you don’t see us together on campus because he is always running away from me; he says I worry him too much, I hope he reads this. He does not pick up my calls, even if he does he tells me he is busy. But we are very very close and I love him so much.

He should mind me any time I call or see him around. He should also treat me nicely when I come to his room and stop sacking me.

Whom do you love more, your parents, friends, boyfriend, siblings, yourself?

Parents, friends, siblings Are you emotional? If you are, how do your loved ones cope?

No! I am not. However, no one has complained yet because I am not so unemotional that I

Apart from spending time with friends, what else do you do to relax at home and in school?

I just sleep, watch a lot of movies.

Tell us about your contribution to Smoothshakes and Checkpoint and what are the future plans for each?

Ermmmmm…. for Smoothshakes I came up with the idea and I told the others ( Annie, Duki, Samira and Hicky) and they liked it. So that is my main contribution but in terms of

fashion so I supported him and it’s been good so far. I can’t really tell the future for both because we have a lot in mind but I know whatever we are going to bring up in the near future will be mind blowing.

Are you a bathroom singer? If you are, what kind of songs do you sing?

No! Not at all.

What is on your bucket list?

Sky diving and touring the world.

What item in your closet do you wear the most?

Pair of black sandals What is your beauty secret?

Sleeping a lot; the one and only secret You like chocolate? Do you have any favourites?

Not so much… but I prefer Maltesers

SPOTLIGHT If you could go back in time, what would you I won’t have come to Ashesi but would have gone to Fashion design school instead.

If we're sitting here a year from now celebrating what a great year it's been for you in Ashesi, tell us what you would have achieved.

Ubora award for smooth shakes again.

Who is your role model, and why?

My mummy. A single mom with four kids. She is very supportive because she always gives us the best in everything.

What is the scariest situation that you’ve ever put yourself in in front of an audience?

Every presentation in Ashesi…I dislike crowded places and standing in front of people What is your favourite term of abuse, or your favourite expletive/profane exclamation?

Shit! I know this may surprise people.

HOT SEAT Guilty pleasure Muscatella, I know it’s bad but I just can’t do without it Biggest insecurity That I won’t go to heaven

What's your earliest childhood memory?

I fell in a gutter, I don’t remember why I was sitting or standing by the gutter but all I remember is that I fell. I still have that scar.

Favourite nickname You don’t want to go there, people call me so many things but I prefer Baby G.

How did your family celebrate holidays when you were a child?

During holidays we are mostly home based

Flats, because they easier to walk in and very convenient

December is my mum’s birthday so we usually do some things out of the ordinary.

Do you have a boyfriend?

It is very complicated

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PIECE

The Theory of The Travelling Heads -El Conquistador There I was one fine evening, sitting in a group of intelligent Ashesi students when we happened to stumble onto the topic. Since none of us had any real cheating experience *cough, cough*, someone bravely offered a theory which was titled “The Theory of The Travelling ***” (censored for sensitive readers).

You know how some people like to travel? Good. Among various other reasons, people like to travel to experience new cultures, cuisines, tastes, have different experiences and generally just get away from their normal dreary environment. Before I continue, let me just state that this is not backed by any scientific research whatsoever, but what is science when you have brilliant young minds right??

Now, just as some people like to travel, there are some others that prefer not to go anywhere at all.

Some individuals are creatures of habit that thrive on routine and keeping their surroundings as familiar as possible.

I’m gonna need you to stretch your mind just a little bit now. Assuming that by some absolute finite possibility, some men are actually compelled to make decisions using their…umm…errr…how should I put this…their small heads, then it would stand to reason that there are indeed some small heads that also enjoy travelling.

Once again, backed by no science or mathematics, we could say that the proportion of men that enjoy travelling is directly proportional to the number of, gosh, “small heads” that enjoy traveling.

Viola! The Theory of The Travelling “Small Heads”!

So ladies, if you’re wondering whether that guy that’s moving to you or the guy that you’re currently with can stay faithful, it’s as simple as asking him: “Hey, do you like travelling?”

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CAMPUS

by Samir Suleman This semester, the focal topic is The Economy of Ghana and the theme is "The Economy of Ghana - As it Stands Now and the Way Forward".

HARDTalk is a series of  forums organized on campus by a team of students with the aim of making an impact by creating platforms where otherwise uncomfortable or topical issues are

dissected. These issues cover a wide range of topics spanning

from politics, Religion, Philosophy, Science, Economics to History as well as other general global issues. These forums are meant to encourage and to stir us to question, reason and understand

crucial matters for ourselves, consequently contributing to making us the change-makers we all aspire to be.

HARDTalk is meant to be organized once every semester, with

each semester having its own unique topic of discussion. Last semester's forum was on Religion and saw Ashesi students seriously deliberating on Islam, Christianity and Atheism; trying to

understand what these worldviews are essentially about and finding inherent commonalities between them.

This semester however, the focal topic is The Economy of Ghana

and the theme of the forum is "The Economy of Ghana - As it

Stands Now and the Way Forward". It will host notable speakers

who will come deliver lectures on the theme and have everyone in

attendance interacting on pressing issues relating to the economy of Ghana.

Endeavour to come join us and stimulate your desire to question,

reason and understand the hard hitting issues and topics that surround us in the world we live in.

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POETRY

Let Ali Breathe Calvin Ayivie Some girls you love for who they are

Some girls you love for what they could be Girl, you could be with me

Good times you could have in your laid back Good times I could spend on my knees I come to every time you leave

I kill myself every time you greave

Be around when I'm smoking girl I'm a book you should open girl

Do this shit just hoping that you will notice Lose myself but I never lose focus

Outta shape with thought, leave an anvil

I'm a boy tryna show you how a man feel

You standing on the right side of the drapes

With the sunlight amplifying the curvy edges of your shape Hella deep when you fall for imperfections Visceral, we fuck with no protection

I could study you and learn no lessons

Do these drugs to deal with rejection

Like a calculus class when we scream we understand but don't get shit

Nigga feel lethargic when the pill ain't worth shit

Draw my curtains when I feel uncertain

The Only sure thing is you _ undressing

Subscribe to my habits and I quit the stressing

I never gave a fuck mehn never been a virgin

Ask were I've been I'll tell you I've been working

Young East African girl there's no need to expound Bar tender hit me with another round

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SPOTLIGHT

At one point we've all received or will receive one of his precise, straight-to the-point emails signed students he has taught would attest to the love-hate relationship with his classes, the roller coaster emotions associated with tests, grades present to you... Papa T.

By Naa Adukwei

Anthony Essel-Anderson.

Who is he?

He is an Anderson. He is a young man. Well, I am a professional chartered accountant by training ant. My entire career has thus been academic.

How long have you been teaching at Ashesi?

A little over 6 years now.

by Hector Amoah

Did you teach somewhere else before here?

All my teaching before here wasn’t full time. I have lectured at Legon and also did a sem with

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.

g. All -

Bsc.Business Administration and master of philosophy there also.

And Secondary school?

Twufupraso Secondary School.

Where’s that please.

Oh it is in the northern part of the central region.

Did you always want to be a teacher and why?

But I started as a teacher anyway. Right after secondary school I didn’t look for any other job.

So there was nothing else you ever wanted to be? Footballer? Doctor, rapper?

No, no, no.

Why accounting courses?

I started reading accounting before I was even in secondary school and that was because my father was teaching at the commercial school at the time so all the books I saw were business or accounting related. I used to help those who weren’t very strong in accounting so I also developed an interest in that. Right from secondary school through to Legon, I specialized in accounting. That was my major. I also did a Masters in Accounting and then went on to become a professional chartered accountant. I have been doing accounting because of the interest.

Do you have an interest in reading outside of your accounting books?

I used to read a lot.

Used to?

Do you think that’s a bad habit?

Well yeah. It is really not having the time and not a habit.

h the Well yeah. It’s a good thing. I used to read but they were religious materials not religions. Christian materials, books on the Eastern religions like Hindu and the rest.

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SPOTLIGHT So basically what I read outside were religious materials.

Are you Christian?

Yes. But I wanted to know more than that.

You have twin boys. We’ve seen them around campus a few times. They walked into my exam with you. How old are they and what are their names?

Are those your only children?

There’s one after them. A younger one. He’s a year and 6 months. Also a boy. His name is Nana Kwadwo.

way? Or your wife?

They don’t choose but they get used to what they usually wear so that they don’t exchange.

Once we buy a set and maybe Panyin wears blue and Kakra wears red, anything else we buy after that with the same colours, Panyin will automatically say “oh this is mine” for the blue anyways.

comes to the industry and my professional body, I am Anthony Essel-Anderson. But when he comes to school then he becomes Papa T. How did Anthony become Papa T? Oooh, it was just one of the names I used to use in my questions. Initially it was Papa Tony. I used it to set questions and then the students decided to drop my main name and started calling me Papa Tony. Later, through the same questions I converted it to Papa T and that’s what the new generation knows but the older generation, those who graduated in 2009, 2010 know me as Papa Tony.

Why do you like presentations so much? *laughs* How many presentations did we even do in our class? We did just one or?

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by standing in front of your colleagues and delivering you tend to master it easier. You actually get to know if you understand the thing well or not. ‘cause sometimes in your mind, you think you understand it and then when you’re writing exams you write what you feel like writing but when you are going to address people you prepare properly because you don’t

what I teach.

Uhm,yeah. I’ve not been there for over a year. I did not like the way I was served there one day,so I just stopped going there.

So what do you eat now?

Food?! *laughs* I don’t eat often in school but if I need something I go to Mannies.

Do you feel like an easy relationship between students and lecturers is helpful or necessary?

It’s necessary in the sense that, when you’re free with them, you understand them better.

What is going on in their minds, how they are perceiving things, how they think, approach issues, and also if they understand what you are teaching them or not or if they want you to

not close to them then they are likely to report to another person instead of coming to you.

Is there anything you have to say to the people reading this? campus you may see me as somebody who is always talking to students, meeting them outside, shaking hands, but I’m actually a quiet person.

Are you sure? Quiet, where?

Oh yeah. Outside of school I’m very quiet but at the workplace I talk to people just because I want them to be closer to me. At home I’m quiet, except for my children who disturb me and those who think he is too strict sometimes, I am too liberal. And for those who think I am easy going or too free, they may be getting it wrong because at another time or place I may be

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CAMPUS

CAFETERIA TAKEOVER -28-01-2015-

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PIECE

AD

ASHIME

EBASH ME ROUGH We keep talking, we’re all googly-eyed and I’m thinking for sure, this is it, but somewhere along the conversation she tells me the thing they had or have, was or is complicated and that we should wait and see how things go.

EMMANUEL TACKIE

take me away

far from the grasps of nature

far from the realities of my responsibilities far from the status quo

to a standstill

a place of vacancy a clear mind

an oblivion,… a vacuum

that trance where I find truth

truth, the very root of my pain

my quest had been to find through the subjective nature of the objective truth of

feelings for him (awkward moment). I know you are probably wondering what on earth I am talking about so I’ll take

you through the whole story or at least what I am at liberty to say( bite me). It

all started...hmmmm - it all started three semesters ago. Ever heard “this girl” by Laza Morgan?

singing**

“There’s this girl, one and only wonder of this world,………”

that final solution

Yes that song! So there was this girl.

because I omitted the smallest of details

put it out that I am a sucker for rare

Ashime (ebash me rough)

discriminate against asses; feminine

I played the game of wits and I lost

Sorry before I start, I think I should just

he still remains…………..

beauty, I’m “big bootyphobic”. I don’t

Well I thought I knew it all until that split

asses that is, I love’em all...wink. I think

second where I noticed she still had

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you are extremely beautiful if you could

rock red lipstick. But most importantly, I’m a sucker for personality- a rare kind, meboa? If

girls where objects, but of course they aren’t (10 points), I’d be a collector of the rarest arts.

But enough about me, this girl had it all. From looks to brains to a distinguishing personality.

You know the term ‘turn heads’? Well she literally broke necks (5 points), so to say, and I fell

right into her web as she looked me dead in the eye while unconsciously teasing, wrapping me round with extra thoughts of possibilities. As if ”she loves me, she loves me not” was not enough, a craving for closure grew. I swear I might have wasted an entire forest to address

that craving (I blame her for global warming) because the closer I get, the more confused I become; man pull yourself together!

Oh and just in case you’re wondering what the points are for, I put them there because I know she’ll read this. I know I’m talking chaw, so back to the story. Well if it isn’t obvious after all

I’ve said, I like this girl but there was one tiny problem. There was this guy, a friend, who I

sometimes see her with but every time I ask they’re like “oh we just friends”. Tell me this doesn’t remind you of that song…

singing**

”Oh baby you, you got what I need and you say he’s just a friend” I don’t remember who sang it but at least you can tell where I’m going with this. So semesters pass and I see less and less of them together (YES!!,…..I mean okayyy) so I know it’s my

chance now and in effect, I deployed the strategy I learnt from a mastermind whom for the sake of anonymity we’ll call ‘X’, but if you really know me and are mathematically inclined, making ‘X’ the subject shouldn’t be that difficult. Here’s the plan.

Step 1. Tell a very close friend of hers who can definitely not shut her mouth about it.

Step 2. During conversation beg the friend not to tell on you.

Step 3. Wait. 3/4 chances say she’s going to tell. Yes, right where you want her but here’s the

tricky part, if there exists a little bit of sometime between you and said crush— can we just name her ‘Y’ now, I just think my English will finish some way along the line

‘Y’ is going to approach you to ask if it’s true (YES!) at least that’s one possibility. If there’s

nothing well she’ll just ignore that. Guess what? It all fell according to plan making it easy for me to skip all the awkward transitioning from friends to, you know, more than friends. So she

asks and I’m like “yeah I guess” (keeping it cool). We keep talking, we’re all googly-eyed and

I’m thinking for sure, this is it, but somewhere along the conversation— I just don’t know

how— she tells me the thing they had or have, was or is complicated (FURGE!!!!!!!!) and that we should wait and see how things go.(FURGE!! FURGE!! FURGE!! FURGE!!)

Soooooo,… this is me 35mins after. Ashime (ebash me rough).

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ASC Note

The most important of said structures is the knowledge that; the ASC is you

This is an exciting new year filled with endless possibilities and beautiful beginnings.

Every single Ashesi Student forms an integral part of the ASC. Page 20

This year, the community will welcome the first batch of engineering students, ushering us into the second phase of Ashesi University College’s growth. It is important that before receiving them we review the structures we currently have in place.

The most important of said structures is the knowledge that; the ASC is you. Every single Ashesi Student forms an integral part of the Ashesi Student Council. Now that

ASC you’re aware of that, over the next year, the ASC will discover the importance of good citizenship while fostering a deeper sense of unity within the student body.

We believe that our campus and its immediate environs can be cleaner than it is now. The Ashesi Community will participate in Beautiful Berekuso clean-up exercise. This will take place on the 7th of February! I encourage everyone to take part in this project to make Berekuso the most beautiful town in Ghana.

In order to boost citizenship within the student body, all four resident halls and off-campus hostels will have the chance to display their identities to the Ashesi Community on the 19th of February after which we will engage in exciting games while having fun over food and drinks. The semester has interesting movie nights in store as well as themed parties to shoot the level of fun up to a new high. Also, keep an eye out for Valentine’s Day goodies.

Male and Female teams for: basketball, football, volleyball, handball, table tennis, badminton are being formed. It will be a fun experience to join a team, learn a new thing or two, develop skills, and form new and lasting bonds. Don’t miss out on the opportunity. These Ashesi teams will compete with other schools and we encourage everyone in the spirit of citizenship to come see our teams play whenever they have games.

The Berekuo clean-up exercise is on the 7th of February.

Keep an eye out for Valentine’s Day goodies.

The Executive team looks forward to working together with you (the ASC) to create a conducive atmosphere in which we can live in. Pass by the ASC office in the lobby for a chat if you have any concerns.

Thank you.

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PIECE

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WET

DREAMS

Only problem is he’s a very unexperienced virgin but plenty guy guy has made it look like he’s a 2 orgasms per minute pro

[Hook] You know that feelin' when you you finna bone for the first time I'm hoping that she won't notice it's my first time I'm hoping that my shit is big enough to fuck with And most of all I'm praying "God don't let me bust quick" I'm watching PORNOS trying to see just how to stroke right Practice putting condoms on, how it go right I'm in her crib now a nigga palms sweatin' With a pocket full of rubbers and an erection Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychology in his development of psychoanalytic theory postulated that the major cause of a dysfunctional individual and society even, is sexual frustration and repression, period. Yes, I know, it sounds ridiculous, but remember, we are talking about one of the most renowned psychologists in human history here, and that’s what he thought. Even though most of Freud’s theories are considered overly controversial and exaggerated, it is noteworthy to understand that his work is an almost perfect reflection of the 18th century Victorian era, a society his thinking and work was greatly influenced by.

Why am I even talking plenty about this guy, and what does this even have to do with J. Cole’s rap stanza from his headline song, Wet Dreamz?

1. 18th century Europe was very sexually frustrated. I’m not even joking right now. Women were supposed to be ashamed of their sexual “stirrings”. I don’t think Page 23

PIECE you get the gravity of what I’m trying to say here; showing your ankles publicly was an abomination, let alone cleavage. If an 18th century man saw the crop tops girls wear nowadays, he most certainly would have a heart attack and die. The extent of sexual education then was what your mother told you on your wedding’s eve. Talking about sex before then would merit you an automatic banishment from society. Real quick chale. Painful thing too is it ended up being the unspoken issue constantly on the minds of people at that time. Even to the point that they didn’t even know themselves.

2. Jermaine Cole, popularly known by his rap alias, J. Cole in one of his tracks from his recent album, tells a story of his younger self. Personally, I think it’s a beautiful feat of lyricism and storytelling, but before I go all rap nerd on y’all, let me just distil it into simpler language. He tells the story of a time back in high school where he crushes on a girl who likes him back. He plays his cards right and is at the point of hitting (jargon for having sex with) her. Only problem is he’s a very unexperienced virgin but plenty guy guy has made it look like he’s a 2 orgasms per minute pro. Now the guy has to live up to this image he has created, and he turns to the bountiful fountain of sexual knowledge –PORNOGRAPHY. He learns, he goes in and as far as the song goes he lives up to his 2 orgasms per minute rep (at least that’s what the end of the song left to my imagination).

What at all am I even trying to say with these two stories? Hmm, if you’d notice, in the 18th century story there was no pornography and a lot of people were unhappy, but in this beautiful 21st century J. Cole raps of, there’s an abundance of pornography and in my opinion that’s a very good thing. If you knew how many boys (and even girls!) relate to J. Cole’s story, you’d thank the first couple who decided to video themselves getting it on. Pornography allows an individual to explore their own sexuality; it is educational, as well as recreational. A wonderful bonus is the employment and revenue it generates with its commercialization.

Can you believe over a 100 billion dollars is generated by the porn industry in America, and a staggering 300 billion euros by their European counterparts. For those of you who I know disagree with me right now, yes I know what you are thinking, and you may be right even, but since I personally am a firm believer in the rational man, I say if you can throw at him alcohol, cigarettes, and a 12-cubes-of-sugar per 30ml bottle of coca-cola, (all of which would kill you faster), why so much ruckus about porn, which has been holding young curious people down since day one.

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PROMO

BowlerHattedShutter.tumblr.com

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STORY

WHAT’S IN A NAME? Amanda Olive Amoah

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

Right?

Right…?

Wrong!

Rodney found this out the hard way, when he broke up with Amanda. His reason? She somehow managed to manipulate him into getting her some aspirin, a hot water bottle, a cuddle and a backrub each time that time of the month came round! Ah! Amanda - one who is fit to be loved; loveable. Rodney translates this as someone you can’t stop caring about and doing things for, even when you don’t want to! And that’s not very convenient, is it?

He had never loved anyone as much as he did Amanda; and this scared him silly. Besides, his friends had started calling him otoolege, and despite the fact that he knew that they were just envious and would rather trade places with him, it got to him anyway; and that’s why he broke up with her.

Fast forward to two weeks after the breakup, and enter Esi Belinda.

Esi Belinda had a good enough face; he could work with that. Her personality was a bit flat, but surely he could change that, couldn’t he?

The deciding factor was her name combo: Esi-Belinda, wow! The safest he could have wished for. Esi was simply a girl born on Friday and Belinda meant beautiful snake. Beautiful snake paaahn?! He had laughed till he had tears in his eyes when he had researched and found that out.

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He found snakes disgusting; in his opinion, even the most beautiful snake could not be lovable.

He would be safe with this beautiful snake born on Friday.He would be the man!

The first couple of weeks went great, she cooked for him, washed his clothes, all things that Amanda refused to do.

In the third week, things began to change…

First he found himself submitting her assignments for her, next he was losing sleep because he had to stay up all night keeping her company while she studied! What was all this?! Would he never know any peace?!

That was the build up to him being in Esi Belinda’s hostelone hot Sunday afternoon, but not with her in her room. He was at the back, where the washing area was, all alone, sweating half his body weight away. He must have been a sight to behold: 6foot 5” “macho man” with charcoal skin bent over a tiny bright pink bucket that his hands seemed to have trouble fitting into. His well-toned abs: exposed, the racetrack for the drops of sweat that raced to his waistline. Brows furrowed and the tip of his tongue sticking out in concentration, his hands rubbed away at the sudsy contents of the bucket. Satisfied with his work, a small smile tugged at his lips as he squeezed, and then shook out what he had just washed.

And that was how Amanda found him when she click-clacked in her turquoise heels that complemented her form-fitting white church dress to get her towel off the drying line; tall sexy Rodney, shirtless body glistening, big smile on his face, holding up the most gigantic, most misshapen granny panty she had ever seen, stretched out between his hands! Ei! His face had immediately been wiped clean of the smile that he’d had on earlier and was now contorted in an emotion she couldn’t put a name to; maybe it was many emotions mashed up into one. He slammed the panty down onto the concrete floor and stomped on it. “Ah! Ah! Ah!” one stomp for each “Ah!” “Good afternoon.” She said when their eyes met.

And then she hurried away, bowing her head in shame for him.

A tear trickled down the corner of his eye and joined the sweat in racing down his body.

He bent down and picked up the panty. He put it back in the bucket and bent over. He kept washing.

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MEET THE INKREDIBLES

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FEATURE

If you had to wear a warning

Five years from now what don't you

If your life was a s

sign what would yours say

want to happen to you?

would sing it and wh it be called?

Michael:

Ahomka:

Joseph:

‘Do not spoil a beautiful

I’d like to still be writing for pleasure. I

Ha! Beyonce slaying

thing.’

also hope I don’t die or get locked in a

a song called…. “

room with a walrus either. Walrus are

With That BS!”

scary.

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If your life was made into a movie, what genre would it be and what would be the title?

Nii Apa: Drama, Action, Romance, Comedy,

Fantasy,

and

Slice of Life. The title of the movie would be The Chronicles of the Boring-Not-SoBoring Life of the Introverted Awesome Man named ong who

Abbey.

What's the worst thing a guy can do on a date with you?

What do you do everyday that has become a part of

Ewurabena:

your routine?

A guy should never ever ever talk about marriage, soccer,

Carl:

yawn, not talk at all or give his

Being lazy and forgetting

phone more attention.

to eat well.

hat would

g all over Miss Me

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FEATURE

If your alter ego could commit a

If you could invent your own special

Who was the most

crime for a day what would it

quote, what would it say?

work with on the te

Victor:

Mawuli:

Micaiah:

People hit targets and jump for joy, but

Joseph. I was ab

I’ll break into Fort Knox and steal

they don’t ask themselves if that bull’s

Jessica

all the gold there, buy the whole

eye was meant for them. Know your

demands. It was

coast of the Arab Emirates and

purpose.

personally dont lik

be?

hack into the box office and leak all of this year’s movies

Page 32

so yeah.

Pearson

That moment in life where everything changes? From a chance meeting to surprise news, there are little moments of change all around us. For me, that moment was in the middle of my 4 months abroad through the program Semester at Sea. I was in Spain when I lost my wallet. On the streets of Cadiz, it seamlessly disappeared. As if things could get any worse, my only emergency debit card was

t difficult person to

What's your idea of a perfect date

Who would you marry, have a baby

swallowed hours later by an ATM. Enter panic mode. Itwith wasand too late night Attoh, to have eam and why? kiss?atChris Majid Michel, Van Vicker? someone from Akosua: the bank get the machine to give me back the debit card it had just Go to a night lit street art/music festival

eaten like a delicious tapa. ble to see past his while eating chestnuts and finish the

n

Akyere:

attitude and next day nightI of while waiting forfor theGhana, sun to rise Marry Chris Attoh then in i'd cash have ain baby The very was embarking and I had nothing but $50

quite funny but I

in a historical ruin while talking and

with him. Since this wasn't explicit i

getting to know each other.

think i'll get away with having Van

my cabin. Because I didn’t have any plans to stay somewhere in Ghana, I didn’t know

ke watching drama

where I was going to end up, so there was no way to have to me.

Vickerany kiss money Majid in wired a production.

Page 33

Hard Guy Bu

The Battle Cry for THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARILY WHIPPE

It seems like only yesterday we were busying ourselves with New Year’s resolutions. As I write this piece, the month of January threatens to leave us, and the green month of February promises better things … but not for all. Unknown to many, a group of young men are scattered all over the world – these are our heroes. For our valiant heroes the early part of the month of February promises nothing but headaches, bookings, appointments, hours of strenuous attention to detail, hours spent making customized cards, or tacky collages. These men constitute a special secret group. These young men are the “The League of Extraordinarily Whipped Gentlemen”. Whipped – the single trait that links our heroes.

Whipped: being completely controlled by your girlfriend or boyfriend, in most cases a guy being completely controlled by his girlfriend or Being completely controlled by a woman to the point where you will do or say anything that she tells you to.

Our heroes are the men who brave the side-glances, silly smirks and the label of ‘whipped’. Their self-assuredness is so pervasive that they often pay no mind, but every once in a while one of the daggers slips through the chink in the armor. The expression ‘whipped’ has wrongly been extended to encapsulate men who strive to be good partners, self-sacrificing but in a self-assured manner. There is no arguing that, a human being whose self-worth is completely and wholly Page 34

STORY

ut...

ED GENTLEMEN

Ahomka Mills-Robertson dependent on the acceptance of another person is problematic, but nowadays that is not what the terms “whipped” is being used to describe. Our noble men, who value their partners and are striving to be better for them have their task exacerbated by the silly comments of their insecure friends who label them ‘whipped’ – a sign of weakness.

It is unfortunate because these comments affect our heroes sometimes. They begin to act out. Their partners realize this and often don’t understand what is wrong with their heroes. These partners are often confused by the hostility or the plain aloofness that their hero will start to show. He will become a “hard guy”, trying to make up for this apparent weakness. He is trying to prove to himself and his bone-headed friends that he is not whipped. Ladies, bear with your hero. You’ve all witnessed it.

He becomes different when he is with the “guys”. He changes. Bear with him. It shall pass. Your hero shall return.

This is the battle cry to all those wrongfully labelled ‘whipped’. Yes, you came from Dufie to Arkono to get food for your girlfriend and SO WHAT?!?! Let them say what they wish; allow them to smirk. You are the real hero. You’ve worn your insecurities proudly and you’ve shown that it is ok to do so. You’ve allowed yourself to be in the firing line. After all isn’t that what superheroes do? You live as an example, you allow those who are not brave as brave as you to take solace in their smirks. You are a martyr. This is to pay homage to you, the brave unmasked heroes. This is the battle cry for The League of Extraordinarily Whipped Gentlemen.

Page 35

Remember in my

first rant, I told you

There's this theory that you can tell

that sick RnB beat is gonna kill you

my way when you saw

from their taste in music. To some

pel-loving friend be an angel. In

guys to skelewu out of

the kind of person someone is,

me.

degree, I agree with this. Well, I

almost fully agree with this, but I'm that kind of person that believes nothing in this world, absolutely nothing is set in stone. So I always

leave some wiggle room. Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle.

This is not to say that everyone listens to one specific genre of

music and nothing else. This is

also not to say that your gangster-looking neighbour that keeps rocking out -- rocking out might not be the best word to use in this

particular context --, scratch that, busting out moves and rhymes to Page 36

anytime

soon.

Nor

your

gos-

fact, it could be the opposite. Your gospel-loving friend could suddenly decide to help you visit your

God sooner than expected. Who knows?

Personally, I know my music taste is all over the place. I'll be bop-

ping my head to Rich Gang's "Lifestyle", and the next song on my personally-selected-and-not-

randomized playlist will be Taylor Swift's "Blank Space". And in my

head I'll go "Oooh, this is my jam!!"

Then The Script will come on and I will mellow out, because, I'm a

melancholic person, plus they are

RANT

And for a second, you’re confused. Because that is not this person’s ringtone. Nope. Nuh uh. It CANNOT be.

But it is. Hannah Montana’s “Best of Both Worlds” is your gangsterlicious friend’s ringtone. Well I’ll be damned.

I know some of y'all are like that. "Ew. Taylor Swift. Ew. Selena Gomez. I’m not ready to come and get it. Na na na na.", but you go to your rooms, plug in your head-

phones, and listen to that ish on full blast and rock out like nobody's business. And when someone enters the room, you pretend to be that hardcore person bopping

your head to some hardcore beat. And when that person asks you what you are listening to... you tell them it's Kendrick Lamar's latest track.

B*tch please. Miss me with that bulls**t.

This piece is a motivational one. Don't be afraid to be my favourite band. Who knows?

Maybe I like Taylor Swift because

somewhere deep down inside, I'm an annoying teenage-minded girl.

And then below that, I'm a gangster. Yea… Better watch yourself. I

may pack an '11 and shoot at the

reverend – TI & Young Thug's "About

The

Money"

reference

there for those who missed it –.

I know all of us have had that

friend who was some RnB fanatic – I know I use RnB a lot… but it’s just because

the

stereotypes

that

follow are often the most hysterical –. And one day, you’re in a room or space or place with this person

yourself. I hate the aforementioned phrase. I prefer; "Don't hold back your 'Screw It! I'mma do me!'. Let it Go. Let it Go. Can't hold it back anymore...". Yea... I just made that up. I love that song from Frozen.

Remember in my first rant, I told you guys to skelewu out

of my way when you saw me. Yea. Looks like this time, it's shoki. Or nae nae ... depending on which side of the world's song dance you prefer. No one skelewu'd

though last time. I was half expecting someone to. Don't

be boring guys, otherwise, you'll end up like me; spewing random rants on random topics at the end of a magazine like you have no life.

Oh yea, by the way, we need someone to spew random

rants on random topics at the end of this magazine when I'm gone.

and all of a sudden, their phone

rings and their ringtone goes off..

Page 37

Page 38

FEATURE

KITCHEN

CONNECTION

It’s no secret that I love food. It’s always been a big part of my life for so many reasons, and now Kitchen Connection is just one more.

EARLENE CRUZ (SEMESTER AT SEA ‘14)

That moment in life where everything changes? From a chance meeting to surprise news, there are little moments of change all around us. For me, that moment was in the middle of my 4 months abroad through the program Semester at Sea. I was in Spain when I lost my wallet. On the streets of Cadiz, it seamlessly disappeared. As if things could get any worse, my only emergency debit card was swallowed hours later by an ATM. Enter panic mode. It was too late at night to have someone from the bank get the machine to give me back the debit card it had just eaten like a delicious tapa.

The very next day I was embarking for Ghana, and I had nothing but $50 in cash in my cabin. Because I didn’t have any plans to stay somewhere in Ghana, I didn’t know where I was going to end up, so there was no way to have any money wired to me.

Page 39

FEATURE Amid my personal madness, I rationalized that the $50 would be enough for me to at least have two meals a day for the five days I would be there.

“It’ll all be fine. I won’t starve,” I told myself.

I ended up being so much more than fine. I had arranged to Couchsurf with a family in Ghana that I only knew through email; there was no WiFi on the ship, so I wasn’t even able to download their picture from their emails. The first time I met them was at port, shortly after we docked. They embraced me into such warmth that I immediately felt at home. For months, I hadn’t really been part of a ‘home’—sure, the ship was my home, and I had been in numerous houses on my travels, but there’s nothing like going to a solid foundation every day and seeing familiar, inviting faces. It was like my own personal Thanksgiving.

There was just so much love surrounding the experience. There I was, a tourist often thought to have money to spare, and this family had welcomed me with open arms, feeding and taking care of me for the duration of my stay.

Sitting on their floor, eating my last meal with the Benneh’s, all I could think was, “When will I ever get to come back to Ghana?” I hadn’t even left yet, and already I missed these people that I just met a few days before. The rush of emotions led me to a solution to the separation: I thought about the potential of Skyping one another and connecting over food as we had done so many times during the week that I spent with them. I would collect all of the ingredients for one of their recipes ahead of time and make the meal alongside them. I would then sit on my living room floor and eat with my hands as if I was there in Accra with them. This, I thought, would be as close to the actual experience as I could get without going back to their kitchen in Ghana.

And that was it.

Page 40

That was the moment. After all of the chaos leading up to Ghana, inspiration had struck me. It was that familiar feeling of home cooking, togetherness, and sharing that I had known my entire life but had not realized the power of until I shared in the lives of the Benneh’s. Just this one meal, connecting with them on their living room floor was all it took to open my eyes to a world of possibility.

Back on the ship, I created a note on my phone called “A Table for Two,” and every time I thought of something that would work for my then-imaginary foodie site, I wrote them down in the note. By the time the voyage ended, I had about ten pages of random notes, each of which was inspired by the different humanistic and culinary experiences I had in the countries I visited. To anyone else, all of the notes may have looked like gastronomic gibberish, but to me, it looked like the beginning of a community of lovers – of food, of travel, of culture. That’s what it was for me—that’s what it is for me—and I hope that that’s what it is for you, too. Everyone has a dish that reminds them of Nonna, or that takes them back to Sunday nights with their roommate in college - that reminds them of childhood family gatherings around a big, open table. There are so many amazing memories that we create through food everyday: cooking it, sharing it, eating it . . . discovering it.

It’s no secret that I love food. It’s always been a big part of my life for so many reasons, and now Kitchen Connection is just one more. Fellow Foodies, I invite you to join me on this adventure of cooking, sharing, eating and discovering the world through the soul of it all: food. Because the truth is, it didn’t start in Ghana.

It started with all of us.

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