IEW Iss. 8.40 by Inland Empire Weekly

Volume 8, Issue 40 • January 2- January 8, 2014 • www.IEWEEKLY.com • Every Thursday

MORE THAN JUST LUCK OF THE IRISH | JOE BIEL’S CAPTIVATING DRAWINGS | AMERICAN SATISFACTION WITH P&G BURGERS

contents RIDING STRONG

feature

Nothing is tougher than a woman on a motorcycle!

news

Cover photo by: Lanakila MacNaughton Courtesy of Riverside Art Museum Cover design by: Tommy LaFleur

TB in the IE

Sickness scare at local high schools!

THE RUNDOWN

If some nine-year-old kid can climb the tallest mountain on the western hemisphere, then it should be easy to get out of bed and walk on a treadmill.

SHAM-ROCK

MUSIC

The Young Dubliners know how to put on a good show—and it’s not just because of its Irish heritage.

GET LOST

The Lost Years bringing some rad post-punk to the music scene . . . and it’s our band of the week!

arts &

culture

THE COMPLEXITIES OF LIFE and art

Joe Biel creates a world of creativity with site-specific installations and drawings in “Sentry.”

film

eats

A YEAR OF REGRET

AN AMERICAN CLASSIC

CALENDAR

It looks like 2013 was quite a year for crappy movies.

P&G Burgers in Colton brings all the people to the yard!

Enjoy destruction, chaos and a lot of booze with The Goon’s Army . . . Or try adding some culture to your life with the First Street Gallery’s “Glimpses of a Street View.”

final word

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

also

So long electric cars. You had a good run but you but we’re ready to have masculine cars again.

05 | News of the Weird 05 | !Ask a Mexican! 11 | Dining Guide 26 | Planet Waves

local news

Outbreak in the IE TB scares in local High Schools By Alex Distefano

The Riverside County Department of Public Health has had its hands full in the past couple of months, with tuberculosis scares at two IE area high school campuses that has affected around 1,400 students and staff at Indio High School and many more others at Vista Murietta High School. This story, which included a series of possible outbreaks and subsequent skin tests, was in the national headlines and all over online news and media various outlets last week. L.A. news station NBC 4 reported over Christmas that the entire student body and staff were tested at Indio High, which at the time was around 1,400 people in all, with an estimated 400 more to be tested if necessary. Both NBC and CNN reported that earlier in the week, of 131 students tested at Indo High, 45 tests came back with possible exposure to tuberculosis, which is also known as TB. This was confirmed by the Riverside County Department: “45 students tested positive for possible exposure to the illness,” according to a press release. “Someone who is exposed does not necessarily have active tuberculosis, a condition that must be confirmed with more tests.” Tuberculosis (TB) is a nasty bacterial infection that can attack the lungs hardest, but can also infect any organ, including the liver, spine, kidneys and brain. Usually TB can be treated with antibiotics but if left untreated it can be deadly. It is a pathogen that is spread into the air when an infected person sneezes and others breathe it in. Symptoms of TB include hacking cough with phlegm for more than a month, fevers, chills, pain in the chest, coughing up blood, difficult breathing and extreme flu symptoms, night sweats

and weight loss. Of the 45 students who tested as a possible exposure, according to Dr. Cameron Kaiser, public health officer for Riverside County, it does not mean a positive test result. The students will have to get chest X-Rays, have further medical checkups and be treated if necessary. On Oct. 31, according to the local news website Patch, a Vista Murrieta High School student had also been diagnosed with active tuberculosis, and that case also had County health officials on top of things investigating who might have been exposed to the illness and doing the proper testing. In the Vista Murrieta case, according to a statement by the county, “The student is expected to make a full recovery, but will not return to school until a medical clearance is issued. The student is not being identified due to confidentiality laws and requirements.” In both stories, media reports are still unclear but at least one student at Indio was confirmed to have active TB, according to Kaiser, but the tests were out of safety for students who might have been unknowingly exposed to TB. Like the case out of Vista Murietta, the student in question is expected to recover fully from the bacteria infection. And now, according to Kaiser, the rate of positive test results of all those tested came back, and are within the normal levels. “Given this population, we would expect a positive test result of no more

Law & Disorder

Are you a true crime buff ? Then go to ieweekly.com every Friday and click on “The Watch Dog” under “News” for the latest cops ’n‘ robbers stuff. Publisher Jeremy Zachary Editor-In-Chief Evan Senn Entertainment Editor Ashley Bennett calendar editor Jamie Solis WEB editor Zachariah Weaver Art Director Steven Myrdahl Editorial Design DirectoR Tommy LaFleur Graphic Designer Vidal Diaz

Editorial Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Alex Bradley Stacy Davies, Jasen Davis, Alex Distefano, Eric Francis, Bill Gerdes, Jeff Girod, S.A. Hawkins, Kimberly Johnson Robin Johnson, Carl Kozlowski, Robert Kreutzer, Michelle Lepori, Kevin Longrie, Dan MacIntosh, Molly McFly Will Morrison, Arrissia Owen, Kathryn Poindexter, Nancy Powell, Paul Rogers, James Saunders, Joy Shannon, Andrea Steedman, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Liquid Todd, Tamara Vallejos, Suzanne Walsh, Simon Weedn

than 10 to 15 percent,” Kaiser said. “These numbers are very reassuring for the community as a whole. The health department will follow up with those who tested positive for exposure.” It was because of this low rate of possible exposure that Kaiser said he feels the likelihood of the illness spreading remains low. According to news reports and statements by the County Health Department, School officials made it mandatory, that all students and staff show proof of their tests, and the results, before returning to the school after winter vacation in 2014. IE

InternS Dulce Balandran, Victoria Banegas, Kimberly Johnson, Derek Obregon

Account Executives Bobby Robles, Dave Ruiz

Contributing Artists and Photographers Barry Bruner, Bettina Chavez, Kristopher Christensen, John Gilhooley, Nicholas Ivins, Kimberly Johnson Khai Le, Scott Lost, Seth Wheel

Business Manager Linda Lam

Director of Sales & Marketing Jim Saunders

IT Manager Serg Muratov

distribution manager Cruz Bobadilla VP of Finance Michael Nagami

office manager Iris Norsworthy

VP of Operations David Comden

office assistant Jamie Solis

President Bruce Bolkin

Inland Empire Weekly newspaper is published every Thursday and distributes 30,000 papers at over 1,200 locations throughout the Inland Empire. No articles, illustrations, photographs, or other matter within may be reproduced without written permission. Inland Empire Weekly® is a registered trademark of Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available for $50 for six months; $80 per year. Archive issues are available for $3 per copy. 2175 Sampson Ave. | Suite 118 Corona | California | 92879 phone 951.284.0120 | fax 951.284.2596 www.IEWEEKLY.com

JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

By MOLLY mcfly

Wednesday, December 25

While half of the U.S. is snowed in, enduring the cold degrees of the winter season, we’re all here in California sweating our asses off. What’s better than getting a nice new sweater, scarf or pair of gloves? Having to strip them off in order keep from becoming the sweaty person nobody wants to sit next to at Christmas dinner. As usual, Southern California delivered hot 80-degree temperatures. For once, can I get a little rain on Christmas? Or at least a quickly melting frost on my grass and car windshield before the sun comes up? Nope. I guess I’ll have to wait a month or two before I can ever try to wear my new damn sweater.

Thursday, December 26

More exciting than presents, family and food—and definitely more exciting than all other television shows that debuted or returned in 2013—is the much anticipated 50-year-old BBC science fiction show, Doctor Who. The series follows the adventures of a lone man, known only as “The Doctor,” who travels with a “companion” (who is normally a woman) to experience a variety of worlds and universes in adventures through time and space, in a ship that’s disguised as a blue police telephone box called the TARDIS. Phew! It’s a mouthful just to get outsiders onto the right page. Technically speaking, there have been 12 different “Doctors,” played by 12 different actors, as the doctor periodically transforms into a new human form. Spoilers! So nerds both rejoiced and cried to see the transformation of the current Doctor to number 13 on Christmas night. But instead of seeing the notorious Christmas episode as the first of many in the upcoming season, fans are forced to wait until Autumn 2014 for the next episode. Jerk move, BBC. One thing is for sure though, this year’s Comic-Con is going to be chock full of selfcalled “Whovians” yearning to hear details of the next episode like Justin Bieber fans at a concert. The biggest different though, is that The Doctor is way better than that b*tch ass Bieber.

Friday, December 27

BULLETIN looking for freedom! Despite this year’s disappointing reveal of the NSA spying and the entire Edward Snowden event, the definition of true freedom doesn’t seem attainable for humans in the United States. However, at least there’s hope with keeping a close eye on preserving the number of bald eagles, which of course is the national bird of the U.S. and symbolizes freedom and unity. Just before Christmas, the IE’s first bald eagle count was held in Big Bear, Lake Arrowhead, Silverwood Lake and even Lake Perris. During the course of one hour, 99 volunteers in these various cities kept a vigilant lookout for the large bird and came up with a grand total count of 11 eagles (7 adults and 4 juvenile), according to the United States Department of Agriculture. While most of the bald eagle population resides in states with cold climates and minimal human interference, it’s exciting to find some of the birds making homes nearby. With hopes to discover more of a bald eagle population in the IE’s mountain ranges, more bald eagle counts are set for January 11, February 8 and March 8 (visit fs.usda.gov for more information). IE

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

Even with the mid-week Christmas break, the day off never seems like a vacation. Rushing to get ready to meet with family, getting stuck in traffic, dealing with the usual drama—it’s exhausting. Finally it’s Friday, which means hopefully you’ll get a well-deserved day off.

Saturday, December 28

Post-Christmas weekend—a time when any able-bodied person living in California knows to stay away from shopping malls. Save the returns, exchanges and gift card spending for another time. Unless, you know, you enjoy walking shoulder-to-shoulder with a ton of annoying kids on vacation. Lucky punks.

Sunday, December 29

Here’s some fodder for a New Year’s resolution. Recently, nine-year-old Tyler Armstrong from Southern California became the youngest kid to climb Argentina’s Aconcagua mountain, the tallest in the western hemisphere, according to The Huffington Post. The last kid to climb the mountain was a young 7-year-old Incan boy about 500 years ago—and he was sacrificed. Over 100 people have died trying to reach the peak and only 30 percent who try actually succeed. Not to mention that you have to obtain a permit from a judge in order to even begin the climb. Armstrong has also hiked Mount Kilimanjaro and hopes to reach the peaks of the world’s tallest mountains on every single continent. He reportedly worked out twice a day for a year-and-a-half to prepare for the climb. Long story short, this kid puts all of us to shame. His ambitious attitude led him to climb a damn mountain. Any excuse you come up with to merely roll out of bed to go to the gym or even do yoga at home is invalid.

Monday, December 30

According to UT San Diego, San Diego is home to the nation’s two largest developers of unmanned aircraft (aka drones) and somehow, the city lost its bid to attain a permit for researching and testing in the area. Instead, through consideration of “geography, climate, location of ground infrastructure, research needs, airspace use, safety, aviation experience and risk,” San Diego was denied the application. Instead, teams in Alaska, Nevada, New York, North Dakota, Texas and Virginia were the chosen locations. Could this denial be linked to the recent drone crash in San Diego? I think the “safety” element isn’t quite in there yet . . .

Tuesday, December 31

What more is there to say? We hope you had a Merry Christmahanukkwanzika with plans to enjoy an even better New Year. It’s the last day of the year: Go crazy. Drive through mud. Jump on a bed. Chop up your Christmas tree with an axe. Drink alcohol knowing that you’ll wake up feeling sick on the first day of the year. First vomit of 2014: YOLO! IE

BY Gustavo Arellano

BY Chuck Shepherd

News of the

Weird

LEAD STORY

¡ASK A

MEXICAN! Dear Mexican: One of my pet peeves are Latinos who pronounce their last names with Anglo accents. For example, Rod-driguez instead of Roh-driguez. Would love it if you address this. Personally, I believe we Latinos should educate Anglos on correct pronunciation. Gomez the Groper Dear Wab: Before you start correcting Anglos and pochos on how to properly pronounce Hispanic surnames, you might want to take a remedial course— it’s Roh-drEE-gehz (emphasis on the second syllable; hence, the use of an accent over the i in Rodríguez). But your question reminds me of a Hollywood story that just might be apocryphal but is a good one. Seems there was a Mexican who wanted to make it into the film industry as a—take your pick—writer, producer, or director. His last name was Torres, and he couldn’t find a gig. Desperate, the man changed his last name to Towers, and he cried all the way to the bank. Moral of the story? While custodians of Cervantes want everyone to pronounce all Spanish words in a way that satisfies the Real Academia Española, people are going to call themselves whatever they want and change how they pronounce their own names if it makes them feel better. Of course, if a gabacho does it, then we cry racism all the way to the banco. I dated an illegal Mexican from Oaxaca for almost a year and a half. We would sit in my car on his breaks from work, or go for lunch at a Mexican restaurant. He never wanted me calling him at his work and never wanted me to come to his apartment.

He said he didn’t have a phone where he lived and he was never willing to get to know my family or even meet them. Whenever I would question him and ask him when he was going to spend time with me and my family he would always say, “next time” or “almost.” Are all illegal Mexicans this vague? Was he afraid of being caught? He’s lived in the U.S. for almost ten years. Would you please shed some light on the living arrangements and the lifestyles of the illegal Mexicans and their thought process? Gabacha no Comprendo Dear Gabacha: It ain’t the undocumented part of your Oaxacan that caused him to keep you at arm’s length; it was the man part. Ever heard of Leykis 101? This hombre seems to have followed it to the teeth, so kudos to him and sucks to be you. Hey, Tom: blow me up ¡Ask a Mexican style! I suggest you replace the ¡Ask a Mexican! column (as they are a dime-a-dozen and don’t we already know by now what they think) with Ask an Anglo, Social Conservative Male as we are the new minority and ready to be embraced, welcomed, defended and promoted as a victimized demographic. I volunteer. Iowan Idiot Dear Gabacho: Sorry—Hugh Hewitt already took that pendejo gig. Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube.com/ askamexicano!

During the 2012 presidential campaign, Mitt Romney caught criticism for his proposed California home with parking on an upper floor, requiring a car elevator. Much more elaborate elevator access will be available in the new Porsche Design Tower near Miami (opening in 2016 and already 80 percent sold out, according to a December report by Slate. com). The 132 oceanside units (in square footage from 4,300 to 17,000 and in price from $5.3 million to $32.5 million) include glass-walled, elevator-accessed spaces for two or four cars (for people who would rather admire their Bugattis and Maseratis than the Atlantic Ocean).

CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE

Equality Under Law: (1) In December, Fort Worth, Texas, judge Jean Boyd sentenced teenager Ethan Couch to probation with no jail time for drunkenly killing four people in a car crash— apparently accepting Couch’s “defense” that his affluent, permissive childhood had taught him irresponsibility. (WFAATV turned up a 2012 case in which Judge Boyd sentenced a 14-year-old black kid to prison for punching another boy who then fell, bumped his head and died.) (2) New York City prostitute murderer Rasheen Everett got a 29-year sentence in December, despite his lawyer’s “defense” that the victim was merely a transgendered prostitute. (“Shouldn’t (29year sentences) be reserved for people who are guilty of killing certain (higher) classes of individuals?”) Tension over digital security is such that an alarming disclosure made in 2004 (and largely ignored) can resurface on a website in 2013 and appear even more astonishing. At the height of the Cold War in the 1960s (and largely because of Pentagon-White House contentiousness), “safeguards” were installed to prevent rogue generals from launching nuclear war on their own. What today would be a “PIN” number was assigned to each missile, but Strategic Air Command generals mocked the PINs by setting each one to “00000000”—a code that today would be ridiculed as naive. (Furthermore, “00000000” was then written out on each missile’s instructions, according to the former launch control officer who disclosed it in 2004.) Many medical professionals are certain that Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski, 70, is a quack, treating cancer patients with expensive, FDA-unapproved substances, giving false hope to the terminally ill and in some cases diverting them from better-regarded treatments. However, according to a December USA Today investigation, Dr. Burzynski enjoys

enthusiastic support from a small but dedicated group of patients, and neither regulators in Texas (where he is licensed) nor two juries (who turned back indictments against him) have been able to stop him. FDA regulators have been inconsistent toward him but appear to be gaining aggressiveness following recent inspections of his facilities. (Dr. Burzynski manufactures his own proprietary drugs, charging around $10,000 a month to patients who can pay.)

NEXPLICABLE

One Rule Fits All: Jim Howe, father of two children at South Cumberland Elementary School in Crossville, Tenn., was handcuffed and briefly detained by a sheriff ’s deputy in November after mistakenly believing that he could walk his kids home when class let out at 2 p.m. Actually, the school allows 2 p.m. departure only for kids being picked up in cars; pupils who leave on foot must wait until 2:35. (Howe assumed that the waiting period was only to protect young pedestrians from pick-up traffic.) Deputy Avery Aytes said a rule is a rule and that if Howe failed to cooperate, he would be jailed. David Friehling, who was identified as Bernard Madoff ’s accountant soon after Madoff ’s 2008 confession to running his notorious Ponzi scheme, provided evidence in November that a certain Madoff associate knew all along that Madoff was running bogus numbers on his books—testifying that he dutifully certified all such falsified documents that the associate showed him. Friehling, who pleaded guilty in 2009 for his personal role in the scam, also revealed that somehow he had actually blown $4.3 million of his own money in the swindle (on behalf of his children and other family members). Overcompensation: Mr. Kelcey Nicholas, 28, was arrested, along with Lataura Jarrett, 21, in Mount Nebo, W.Va., in September and charged with having incestuous relations. Thus, West Virginia—a popular target for jokes about cultural tolerance for incest and inbreeding—appears to be boldly reversing course, since Jarrett is merely Nicholas’ step-daughter.

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

Police finally arrested William Footman, 55, in October as the person who somehow managed to swipe inside-front-door mats from at least 37 New York City banks between March and May 2013. No money was ever taken, and some banks were slow to realize the thefts—unobservant that they had even had front-door mats in the first place. “I sell them to bodegas,” Footman said. “Their floors get wet.”

Send your Weird News to Weirdnewstips@yahoo.com JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

By Ingrid Reeve

Pink glittered helmets line the entrance to the “Women Who Ride” exhibit at the Riverside Art Museum. It is a traveling exhibit of the photography by Lanakila MacNaughton. The show opened at the tail end of 2013 and unofficially promotes 2014 as the year that motorcycles finally become an unbiased symbol of gender equality in the United States. While there is still at least one country where women are not allowed to drive, for most Americans, thinking that motorcycles are a man’s toy should be like thinking that cars are a man’s toy, and this exhibit sets out to show just how comfortable women are on bikes. The answer to the question why is a simple two word answer: Why not? How the show proves the point is a longer story.

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

Fair is Fair

The exhibit consists mostly of larger than life photographs on walls, but the space in the center of the gallery is also utilized—two large panels on projector style screens and an American flag hangs from the ceiling. A few motorcycles nicely occupy the space in between, and wood benches invite the viewer to sit and contemplate the work. A quick scan of the room reveals the exhibit is true to its name; photographs of women who ride line the gallery walls, but there is one man. He is included in Adrienne & Christopher, (2013), one of the many photos hung on the walls. He takes the back seat and is kissing the woman rider. He’s quite handsome and clearly an accessory to this woman—hey, fair is fair. A wide range of women are represented. MacNaughton states “I hope to help discover and present female riders from all different communities, riding backgrounds and styles, and influence connectivity amongst riders from these different areas.” The titles of the photographs seem to correspond to the women’s names, and most of the works include backgrounds—desert landscapes, highways and ocean scenes, to name a few. One image, Tamara Raye (2013), a larger than life photograph, portrays a woman in a leather jacket, leather gloves, helmet and necklace who is cropped from the waist up. Her upper body floats in a blue field of color emphasizing her torso and seemingly her mind through the elimination of her legs. The image is a nice change in tone from sultry to dreamy, but the all of the photography in this exhibit serves as enjoyable eye candy. The women portrayed are by and large, sinuous. They know how to pose on their bikes and represent the epitome of confidence. Some do tricksthey lift their legs or ride in dare devil positions. Many are only partly clad in leather, or even light fabrics, leaving legs, abs or arms exposed making them—and the danger level in their stunts—that much more alluring. In a photograph titled Stormie, the rider wears a white laced bustier with an exposed midriff and some ink paired with cutoff denim shorts—short ones, of course. Her feet and head, the most essential body parts for riding, are the only parts that are somewhat protected. She wears a strong helmet with a pattern and glitter. Her leather boots aren’t necessarily made for riding, but they fit the bill. Her attire says “I’m not afraid,” and as the viewer, I’m convinced that her knees won’t get skinned anytime soon. She’s looks as comfortable riding and doing stunts as I do on my living room couch recliner. Not all of the women are half

naked, nor does it seem to be a necessary method to communicate their strength and comfort. Whether they are fully covered or not, the message seems to be consistent: Not “I’m amazing and confident and I’m showing off,” just “I am.” So while it’s riveting to see these badass bombshells on bikes, it really shouldn’t be. And that is what is so provocative about the show. The works are fresh and exciting, revealing that women as explorers are still on the frontier. We have much to do and much to see, and much to claim as our own. These images, through their novelty, carry with them facts of recent history, including unfortunate but all too common trends of oppression. Instilled in them is the memory of a time when motorcycles, among other symbols of power, were associated exclusively with men. Yet the photographs document a new generation of women in a new light.

A New Wave of Riders

One of the most striking elements to the collection is the cumulative feeling of lightheartedness that is created through the level of ease and joy the photographed women exude. They stand in contrast to women riders of a previous generation, whose attitude and look revealed that they’d worked hard to earn their respect in the rider community. Representing a new wave of women riders, the women featured in this exhibit are not here to prove to anything to anyone. They just are. This seems both revolutionary and tame—and so contemporary. There is a danger to this new zone. The paradox is indicative of the time we live in. How does an attitude of ‘nothing to prove’ fit into a larger picture where those oh-so-obvious rights, like women in the workforce, voting booth or on motorcycles, are being subtly undermined through the politics of economics? This generation seems bound to find out how the two fit together, but the upside is that beauty is inspiring. MacNaughton does a brilliant job at capturing moments of true joy. Jeannette, Summer, Katie and the other women photographed were clearly born to ride. They seem complete and their presence on a bike effortlessness.

Furthermore, their joy, comfort and style makes them seem like complex, interesting and multifaceted women. They’re not just bikers, they’re professionals, mothers, wives, career women and more. The Women’s Motorcycle Exhibition Website adds depth to this theory with profiles for each of the women riders written by the artist. Summer, for example, who is clearly a natural rider and stunt artist, is shown in Summer (2013) riding her bike standing with one foot on the seat and the other leg flying in the air behind her. She holds the handles with short leather gloves and a smile on her helmetless face. Her body covers most of the letters on the fuchsia lined sign behind her, but we can make out the letters that spell “cool,” and couldn’t agree more. “Summer is a hair stylist, snowboarder and motorcyclist,” MacNaugton writes. “I showed up to Summer’s house and she had a black stripper pole in her living room, a tarantula and an assortment of handguns.” Profiles of other women in the traveling exhibit are also offered on the website. The aforementioned rider, Tamara Raye, is a musician. She “works at Disneyland as an engineer for rollercoasters.” Jenny and Nina, two women shown riding together, are “long lost sisters separated at birth.” Ginger Mcabe owns New Church Moto, which, in the words of MacNaughton, “is an amazing custom leather seat upholstery line in Portland Oregon.” These types of images that highlight women in their comfort zone freely expressing their passion, diversity and strength have the power to create a new form of inspiration based on freedom and beauty.

Real. Life. Women.

There are many elements to this show that make it worth seeing for men and women of all generations. Naturally, the inspiring photography is one of them, but another is the opportunity to see motorcycles and motorcyclists outside of their usual context, isolated in a white cube gallery space. A beautiful red bike sits on the left hand side of the gallery. Observing it, I am hypnotized by the parts and individualized, well cared for pieces, like a pretty clear gem on what I can only imagine is one of the gear shifts and a pipe that seems to be decorated with polka dots, which may or may not be functional holes. For the first time ever I deeply understand why huge crowds of people go to bike shows and why my husband once gathered all of his friends to stare at the revving engine of his new car. When art lovers use expressions like “art opens

minds,” this is undoubtedly one type of experience they/we are referring to. Since it is often the case that an entire scene that feels like home to one group of people is overwhelmingly different to another group of people, the opportunity to see and understand someone else’s passion and perspective in a curated context is invaluable. Furthermore, the real life relics complement the photography through the opportunity to experience and relate to size. The helmets, for example, which seem so light on the heads of the riders, look heavy and somewhat uncomfortable in real life. The size of the motorcycles is a cue to the true athleticism of the riders. Many are large, stretched out motorcycles. Standing by one reveals that to jump on and ride one requires not just agility, but sitting at a thirty degree angle just to reach the handles. They’re not new, showroom bikes. They’ve clearly been on adventures and belong to the female riders featured in the photographs. Parts have been broken, fixed and replaced throughout the years, and, besides adding size and history, they also add a strong element to the show in terms of imagined sound. “Women Who Ride” is the type of exhibit that can subtly breaks preconceived notions. It also has the potential to inspire people of all generations and connect those who love to ride—or were born to ride but don’t know it yet. “Women Who Ride” at the Riverside Art Museum, 3425 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, (951) 684-7111, www.riversideartmuseum.org. On view thru March 16, 2014 with a Winter Celebration on Feb. 6, 6pm-9pm. General admission is $5.

JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

Band of the week

music

FAR FROM FOLK

The Lost Years

Young Dubliners pleases its fans with both Irish and rock tunes By Simon Weedn

Many people out there might be surprised that a band called the Young Dubliners actually have their beginnings and roots in Los Angeles, although there’s a lot about the Young Dubliners (or Young Dubs as they’re affectionately called) that’s surprising. While their name might imply that the band is just another Irish band, performing only the most well known of Irish folk ballads, the Young Dubs are, in fact, a great deal more than that. The band performs a very distinct brand of rock and roll which they describe as, “rock with Irish influence,” as opposed to the more popular genre title of Celtic rock. When asked about the Young Dubs’ unique sound, vocalist and guitarist Keith Roberts explains, “The influences on this band were not just The Pogues. I mean, The Pogues were an influence on us, but we were also influenced by The Waterboys, Big Country, Thin Lizzy and The Horselips, who were early Irish prog-rock which started using Celtic riffs on electric guitars that I heard when I was growing up. Also, the Americans in the band grew listening to all types of American and English rock. So when we

play there are vastly different influences coming together to make what we are.” The result is a sound that is both catchy and interesting, delightfully diverse, and one that has kept the Young Dubs touring constantly and recording prolifically for nearly a quarter century. Most recently the band used crowd funding to record and independently release their ninth studio album, appropriately titled, 9. “We wanted to try and see if we had another one in us,” says Roberts. “We fall into the category of being our own worst critics so we just thought ‘This has got to be good, we cannot just throw something out to sell at the merch table.’ So we really worked hard on it and I’m proud of how it came out.” For the first time the band had total freedom to write and record an album on their

own terms. In doing so the band was able to try out a few new things in the studio and really take their time crafting and re-writing pieces until the band felt they were perfect. “This time we did things differently in that we recorded a lot of the music before I’d written lyrics, sometimes even before there were melody ideas for the songs,” explains Roberts. “We started getting the music together and I thought, ‘Wow, what would it be like to write to a really polished sound for these songs.” As the band would learn, this approach would have its drawback in necessitating complete re-records and re-writes of much of the material that would later comprise the record. However, the pros definitely outweigh the cons when it adds to yet another awesome record to an already solid legacy of work. Though 9 is already available to those who participated in it’s funding, as the Young Dubs were anxious to give back quickly to those that had supported them in the endeavor, the band is pleased to announce that the album will be available to the rest of the world come February, just in time for St. Patrick’s Day. Gazing into the New Year, the Young Dubliners have a great deal to be excited about. 2014 sees the group hitting the road right out of the gate into the many nooks and crannies of the United States, some places of which they’ve never played before. The band is particularly excited for their upcoming appearance at The Glasshouse as it gives them the opportunity to play in a new area so close to where they started. “The Pomona gig is actually a fun show for us because it’s a place we’ve heard about from all the bands that are coming up that are, sometimes, opening up for us. It’s always exciting for us to play new places.” At twenty-five years, a lot of bands might be content with resting on their laurels for a bit and slowing down. Yet the Young Dubliners seem ecstatic with staying just as busy as ever. With the spirit of adventure in their hearts, the Young Dubs are heading into the New Year striking out to new venues and markets, excited to be sharing their music to new and old fans alike, and ready to work hard to keep their band well-oiled and running strong. IE The band was slated to perform at The Glass House but the show has been cancelled. Young Dubliners at The Glass House, 200 W. Second St., Pomona, (909) 865-3802; www.theglasshouse.us. Sat, Jan. 11. 7pm.

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

MEMBERS: Joey Reynoso, Nigel Hamblin. Cities of Origin: Riverside. Kindred spirits: The Velvet Underground, Hole, Nirvana and Sonic Youth. Websites: www.facebook.com/thelostyears. Frequents: Back to the Grind (Riverside), Worthington’s Tavern (Riverside) and The Blood Orange Infoshop (Riverside). Although their sound is post-punk, The Lost Years has some heartwarming, personal experiences to share with the world. After recovering from an eating disorder in 2007, member Joey Reynoso used this experience to write the latest single “I’m So High,” a song that deals with his post-traumatic stress and transcendence into his identity. Their EP entitled Revenge and Reincarnation, expected to drop in the summer of 2014, also deals with intense emotional experiences as means of influencing the audience to fight through struggles and enjoy life. This album has been in the works for the past year, including singles that are expected to drop early in the New Year. Not only is the band working on new material, as part of the queer community, The Lost Years will be participating in various queer and women’s rights festivals—promoting its music while simultaneously supporting a great cause. With a handful of shows coming up in the next month, there is no reason to miss such an inspiring and entertaining band in a live performance. Costumes, dancing and guest musicians all add to the vivacity of its shows, creating intense energy and fun vibes. Although the band is fairly new, The Lost Years is getting around quickly, and it is sure to become an IE favorite. What are your influences? Nigel Hamblin: ‘80s, ‘90s, punk and post-punk. ‘90s alt-rock, Sonic Youth, Nirvana and a ton ‘60s music. I take a lot of influence from Peter Tosh and Brand New as well as a variety of genres and periods. Joey Reynoso: I would say a lot of ‘60s music for me too. Especially with the use of melody, and the way things were recorded. I like very romanticized atmospheric music. I adore Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazelwood, The Mamas

and Papas, The Grass Roots, The Everly Brothers, The Ronettes, all things Phil Spector, all things Lou Reed. And then of course you got “the god father of punk” Iggy Pop. Then we got our punk, post-punk bands and poets: Hole, Beat Happening, The Wipers, Henry’s Dress [and] The Raveonettes. Tell me about your song writing process. Reynoso: It works in a number of ways. Hamblin: There is no one way we write our music. Sometimes Joey writes lyrics and I come up with the riff for it. Reynoso: Sometimes I write the lyrics and a general idea of a chord progression, and Nigel will perfect it, and other times Nigel comes up with a riff, and I’ll write lyrics to it. As far as writing lyrics though, I journal a lot and pour out many of my ideas there and sift through them later. Two of our more recent songs “Bad Boy” and “Honey Bee” happened very naturally—Nigel was playing guitar, and I had some rough versions of lyrics that I had written just the day before. He just kept playing, and I wrote and re-wrote, and in about an hour we had two new songs. We’ve also done this thing before where we write in journals separately and then swap them with one another. Then we make a variety of creative responses to each others journaling—sometimes it’s pictures, drawings, poems or relative anecdotes. Hamblin: It’s a very interconnected process. Reynoso: For us, being a band is largely about being great friends to each other, being a support system, having clear communication and understanding each others emotions and experiences. I’ve opened up to Nigel about some crazy life experiences I’ve had, and when I explain to him what my lyrics mean I think it bonds on a deep level that helps the song come to life. (Victoria Banegas) IE

arts & culture All images courtesy of UCR ARTSBLOCK Shelf by Joe Biel

Guarding the Artistic Soul The evocative work of Joe Biel in Riverside By Victoria Banegas

Joe Biel is a Los Angeles based artist and professor with his expertise and interest in painting and drawing. His work is addicted to narratives, inspired by real life and conspired in his imagination, often executed with a sense of grim humor. About a year ago, I had the honor of attending a lecture Biel gave at Cal-State San Bernardino, and I must say that I was blown away. The amount of discipline and time Biel puts into his meticulously drawn masterpieces is admirable and inspiring. After reading that Biel would be a featured artist at UCR’s ARTSblock, I couldn’t miss this event, to see such beautiful work in person was much better than the slew of slides shown in Biel’s lecture. Walking in to the Culver Center of Arts, one is welcomed by a rather grand entrance, with a sun roof, a large open space with beautiful pillars holding up the second floor of the space. In this atrium area, Biel has spent the better part of the past month hand drawing two identical men, their backs facing the gallery’s visitors, with chains around their necks which meet in the center of the wall. Sentry—a guard forbidding access to anyone who does not belong, is what these two men, photo-realistically rendered in exquisite blue detail stand for. Their chains are their commitment to whatever it is they are guarding, ambiguous and minimal, like most of Biel’s work. Leading viewers in to an abyss of their own imagination. Walking in the Sweeney Gallery, I am

welcome by a handful of larger than life images, all minimal at first, but with a closer look, go in to a world of detail. A series of worlds all placed in vast negative space, representing a neverending slew of possibilities. Who are these characters presented in the work and why has the artist lent us such a small amount of specific information? This is something I have cherished about Biel’s work, not the typical spoon-fed concepts I saw in art school, but something more profound and provocative. An old man with a walker and a red hat, every single detail and personal attribute is acknowledged in this character. From the wrinkles in his clothing to the half-tuckedin coat, viewers get many tiny somethings to connect with and find meaning in. It’s these details that make Biel’s work so captivating and charming, even with the sometimes, somber mood projected in some

pieces. Creating voyeuristic images of individuals is Biel’s way of documenting the human existence in all of its absurdity. We are not perfect beings and can be caught in some of our most vulnerable moments, creating subtle perceptions of us for the rest of the world to see. What Biel’s work does for me is it encourages me not to judge a book by its cover, but to search my mind for possibilities. Reality can be stretched far, up to a point where the lines between fact and fiction are blurred and we are left with nothing but mere assumptions. There is so much complexity that goes in to Biel’s illustrations, not only because of the amount of work put in to it, but the multitude of ideas spanning from his images. Not only will his work captivate you, it will intellectually challenge you and bring to attention how art can be perceived

in soo many different ways. With that being said, sometimes takes art to remind us to look beyond what is in front of us, what we see is not always what is. This is a brilliant exhibition, a must see for art connoisseurs across the board. IE “Sentry: Large Scale Drawings by Joe Biel” at UCR ARTSblock, 3824 Main St., Riverside, (951) 827-5191; www.artsblock.ucr.edu. On view thru March 22, 2014. Artist walkthrough and reception: Feb. 1, 214. 5:30pm-9pm.

Installation View

detail

JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

FILM

Cinematic sins 10 movies that filmmakers should atone for By Carl Kozlowski

There are more than 400 movies released into theaters each year. As a professional film critic, I’m subjected to about 150 of them. I manage to avoid the dreck that emerges from Hollywood; torture porn, slasher films, “The Smurfs 2.” But I do see some real stinkers. The following are, in my opinion, some of the worst films of 2013: 1. Grudge Match—Pitting the two men who portrayed the greatest boxers in film history against each other in a comedic

showdown sounded like a no-brainer in theory. The problem is, no one involved in this production used their brains to write a coherent script. Sylvester “Rocky” Stallone looks punch-drunk the entire time, while Robert “Raging Bull” DeNiro inexplicably spends most of the movie shouting in order to convey a pulse. Scenes start and stop abruptly with no sense of rhythm, making this alleged “movie” appear to be edited by a 3-year-old with scissors rather than a competent professional. You’ll hold a

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

The Hangover Part III

grudge against everyone who made it. 2. The Counselor—With a pedigree ensemble cast featuring Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz, Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz and Javier Barden under the direction of masterful Ridley Scott, this should have been one of the year’s best. Instead, it’s an incomprehensible mess, filled with vile characters and no one to root for. Its most memorable moments involve Diaz getting off by rubbing her crotch against a car windshield and Pitt being decapitated. 3. All Is Lost — Robert Redford stars as the only person onscreen for 106 brutally boring minutes, playing an unnamed rich guy who is sailing alone on the ocean when his boat starts to capsize. The fact that he has to patch up the boat and fend off storms might sound exciting, but far more of the movie consists of Redford eating tuna from cans and developing a nasty sunburn. When he finally screams “Fuck!” at the heavens, viewers will be right there with him. 4. Bullet to the Head—While Stallone had a pretty fun action flick in October’s Escape Plan with Arnold Schwarzenegger, he also achieved the ignominy of making not just one, but two of the year’s worst films. This remake of an Asian action film features him as a hitman in a movie devoid of fun, excitement and inspiration. Whoever approved its production deserves the fate of its title. 5. Broken City—When I saw that Russell Crowe and Mark Wahlberg were in a movie, I was excited to see the year start off with a bang. I should have remembered that no one releases a good movie in January. This tired attempt at a thriller featured Wahlberg as a disgraced cop turned private eye who seeks to bring down New York Mayor Crowe in a real estate scandal. The most interesting thing onscreen is Crowe’s hair, which looks like a dead beaver pelt. 6. The Evil Dead—This pointless, bloody remake of superstar director Sam Raimi’s 1983 debut horror film was vile, nihilistic celluloid garbage. Its unknown stars are lucky that they play such interchangeable victims; there might be a chance of having people forget this movie was on their resumes. 7. G.I. Joe: Retaliation—I probably hated this movie more than any other film this year, but it was knocked down the list by the fact that one’s expectations are measurably lower for a Channing Tatum film than a Robert DeNiro effort. This alleged movie defines the “shit blows up real good” genre of filmmaking, in which nothing matters except the explosions. It also committed the previously impossible sin of wasting Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s incredible star presence. 8. The Hangover Part III—The third

Grudge Match

time was absolutely not the charm with this tone-deaf, unfunny three-quel. What started as an almost-revolutionary advance in hard-R comedy quality with the 2009 original devolved into a lazy paycheck for stars Ed Helms, Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifianakis. The losing formula here is: More Mr. Chow = Less Funny. 9. Man of Steel—The umpteenth reboot attempt at a Superman movie was a brooding and unpleasant Christ allegory until its final half-hour, when it devolved into an endless depiction of pointless destruction that would fit right in with the horrible Transformers movies. Please, for the love of cinema, buy and watch the first two Christopher Reeve Superman films instead of this or any of its sequels. 10. The Last Stand—Arnold Schwarzenegger joins Stallone on this list, thanks to this year-opening dud of a comeback attempt. He plays a small-town California sheriff nearing retirement when a master criminal escapes and wants to cross the border by passing directly through his town. Apparently the fact that there are at least 2,000 other miles of border access to Mexico didn’t register with the filmmakers, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this movie’s plot holes. IE

Man of Steel

EATING WITH ALLAN

dinning guide If you have information that needs to be changed, please e-mail calendar@ieweekly. com or call (951) 284-0120 x585. Average price per entrée: Under $10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ $10-$20 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $$ Over $20 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $$$

CHINO

Photo by Allan Borgen

HEFTY BURGERS P&G Burgers brings a crowd to Colton By Allan Borgen One sunny day as I was driving down Valley Boulevard in Colton and I noticed a small fast food restaurant. Unlike other restaurants in the tiny city, which are amazing in their own way but are never really crowded with customers, P&G Burgers was simply overflowing with people. Obviously, the place caught my attention, so I decided to drop in—and boy, I am sure glad I did. P&G Burgers has been serving the locals since 1977. While the inviting restaurant, friendly staff and nostalgic retro signs adorning the walls add to the allurement of visiting, it’s the restaurant’s outstanding burgers and other tasty menu items that are the most attractive to us “serious eaters.” P&G Burgers offers a variety of traditional as well as original items that will surely delight your taste buds. From the breakfast side of the menu, I recommend the Steak and Eggs, a juicy 8-ounce Rib-Eye steak with three eggs, crispy hash browns and a side of toast. There’s also a winner in the simple yet delicious Egg Sandwich with Bacon, a three-egg omelet with three strips of crispy bacon, lettuce, tomato and a smear of mayo. Both of these dishes are classics and P&G Burgers makes sure it has that classic taste every time you order. But if you’re looking for that overwhelming factor of being “dazzled,” you’ve got to try the Monster Style Fries. Imagine a huge mountain of thick fries, smothered with 1000 island spread, grilled onions and cheese. Those who are fans of In-N-Out’s “Animal Style” will get that flavor, and more, with this amazing appetizer.

However it’s the burgers that are the cherished choice at P&G, and they do indeed have some outstanding specialties such as the massive three-quarter pound beef Triple Bacon Cheese Burger, leaning on the traditionally well-done patty and all of its condiment glory. Or the delicious Pastrami Chili Cheese Burger with a mess of grilled onions and Swiss cheese. Talk about some hefty burgers! These items also come with large steak fries, fried onion rings, fried zucchini and a drink. It’s a deal to be sure, and one that will keep you full throughout day. Even with P&G Burgers’ exciting Bacon Ranch Chicken Breast Sandwich, complete with a juicy marinated chicken breast lovingly laid on a French roll with lettuce, tomato, Swiss cheese, ranch dressing and crisp, salty bacon, or hearty Pastrami Steak Sandwich, this restaurant brings traditional American meals to a whole new level. To top off that amazing flavor is the staple of washing down American cuisine with a sweet, thick Milk Shake or Root-Beer Float. Where else can you expect to get a classic shake? Certainly not from franchises like Bob’s Big Boy or Johnny Rockets, that’s for sure. In closing, P&G Burgers is an impressive and quality eatery with food that provides consistent and delicious flavor every time you order. Colton is lucky to have it! IE

P&G Burgers, 190 W. Valley Blvd, Colton, (909) 824-9630; www.facebook.com/PGBurgers.

Follow food critic Allan Borgen on the Let’s Dine Out Television show on every Friday night at 6:30pm at KVCR Ch. 24-P.B.S. and on the Let’s Dine Out radio show every Saturday afternoon from 3pm-5pm on AM 590. You can contact Allan at allan@feedme411.com or by phone (909) 910-3463. Visit his websites feedme411.com and letsdineoutshow.com.

THE AVOCADO HOUSE. Fresh breakfast and lunch cooking that tastes like it came straight from grandma’s kitchen. 11618 Central Ave., 909.627.9733.$$ Centro Basco Restaurant. The dishes range from a mix of Spanish and French cuisine. 13432 S. Central Ave., 909.628.9014; www. centrobasco.net. $$ Flo’s Airport Café. Order a large plate of pancakes and watch the planes fly overhead. 7000 Merrill Ave. #8, 909.597.3416. $ GREAT GRINDERS AND BURGERS. Grinders galore, with all kinds of meats and treats. Don’t forget the affordable daily specials, too! 12423 Central Ave., 909.464.0512. $

CLAREMONT EUREKA! BURGER. Try a few layered burgers or salads with a massive selection of beer on tap. Dig in! 580 W. First St., 909.445.8875; www. eurekaburger.com. $$ LE PAIN QUOTIDIEN. If the fancy, exotic name doesn’t tell you that you’ll be chowing down on some French fare, we’re not sure what will. 175 N. Indian Hill Blvd., 909.625.1609; www. lepainquotidien.com. LOVING HUT CLAREMONT. Heaven for both vegans and healthy food seekers alike. 175 N. Indian Hill Blvd., Bldg. A-102, 909.621.1688; www.lovinghut.us/claremont_01. Tutti Mangia ITALIAN GRILL. Pasta, fish, specialties and a host of Italian treats to tickle the taste buds. 102 Harvard Ave., 909.625.4669; www.tuttimangia.com. $$

CORONA ANTHONY’S PIZZA & PASTA. World’s greatest bread sticks, plus killer calzones and of course, the pizza’s always a pie perfecto! 13100 Magnolia Ave., 951.279.6960. $ ASAHI SUSHI. Here they’ve got plenty of tasty rolls and a pretty mean all-you-can-eat menu to boot. 420 N. McKinley St., Corona, 951.738.3000. CAFE SOLE. Pamper your body and your appetite with some healthy Mediterranean cuisine. Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa, 25000 Glen Ivy Rd., Corona, 951.453.6489; www.glenivy. com/springs/cuisine/cafe-sole. CHUCK WAGON CAFÉ. A vintage stop where large portions of crave-worthy comfort foods reign supreme. 1070 E 6th St., 951.737.7162; $ CORKY’S KITCHEN AND BAKERY. Great prices and oh-so much better food than Denny’s with that fresh, homemade taste. 3811 Bedford Canyon Rd., Ste. 108, 951.735.3100; www.corkyskitchenandbakery.com. $ EDUARDO’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT. It’s some good, old-fashioned, homespun Mexican food with heart and soul. 513 W. 6th St., 951.340.3722; www.eduardosmexicanrestaurant.com. EL CANGREJO NICE. Gourmet Mexican seafood isn’t as expensive as it sounds-and it’s delicious! 510 Hidden Valley Pkwy., Corona, 951.340.2280; www.elcangrejonice.com. GOODFELLAS CAFÉ. A Greek diner featuring some good American food in an Italian theme. 1090 Pomona Rd., 951.340.1130; www.myspace.com/goodfellascafe. HACIENDA GUADALAJARA. This Mexican restaurant is one of the best we’ve ever had. It’s more on the subtle end, but far from boring. 1353 W. 6th St., 951.735.5946. HOT DOG SHOPPE. Tired of the same ol’?

Have that time-tested frankfurter dished up in a number of new ways, including the Wonder Tiger, The Justin, Blue German, Angry Dave and Garden of Eden. 510 Hidden Valley Pkwy., 951.898-8702; www.thehotdogshoppecorona.com. JIMMY’S DINER. It’s tried-true American at this place; classic hamburgers and fries with a big dose of the ’50s for retro ambience. Check out the Elvis mural. 160 E. Ontario Ave., 951.734.0800; www.jimmysdinercorona.com. LUNA MODERN MEXICAN KITCHEN. Mexican cuisine with twists beyond the standard of ordinary salsa and ceviche. 980 Montecito Dr., 951.735.8888; www.lunammk.com . KING’S FISH HOUSE. It’s definitely a cut above the standard fare corporate crustacean cuisine. Even the bisque rocks (lobster). 2530 Tuscany Rd., 951.284.7900; www.kingsfishhouse.com. MI HABANA CUBAN RESTAURANT. It’s the place for quality Cuban eats with a minimum of flair. 712 N. Main St., 951.582.9005; www. mihabanacafe.com. MILL CREEK. You’ve got prime rib, you’ve got wraps, you’ve got grilled steak of all sorts… what more could you want? 103 n. Lincoln Ave., 951.808.0344; www.millcreekcorona. com. OGGI’S PIZZA & BREWING CO. Cleverly named pizzas, authentic Italian pastas and gut-busting appetizers satisfy all! 2363 California Ave. #105, 951.817.0748; www.oggis. com. $$ THE ORIGINAL TACO STOP. For extremely savory street tacos and lip-smacking horchata, The Original Taco Stop is an ideal destination for excellent meat-and-tortilla combinations. (Taco truck not required.) 161 N. McKinley St., 951.340.9088. RA SUSHI. Japanese food for the younger, hipper set of folks in a stylish setting and signature rolls. 2785 Cabot Dr. #101, 951.277.7491; www.rasushi.com. RUMI’S RESTAURANT. A new Mediterranean joint has emerged in Corona and it’s ready to please with healthy kabobs and stews galore. 718 N. Main St., Suite 102, 951.898.5400; www.facebook.com/RumisRestaurant/193973620616857. SILVER DOLLAR PANCAKE HOUSE. Flapjacks of all kinds—plus a ton of other breakfast treats. 710 E. 6th St., 951.737.5977; www.silverdollarpancakehouse.com. THE STEAM HAUS GASTRO PUB. It’s got a handful of unique dishes and one well stocked bar; now all you need is a top hat and monocle to match the atmosphere. 2785 Cabot Dr., Ste 110, 951.277.7500; www. steamhausgastropub.com. SUSHI KAWA SPORTS BAR & GRILL. Other sushi spots might be “meh” but this Japanese restaurant has a huge menu filled with unique and tasty treats. 469 Magnolia Ave., Ste. 101, 951.280.0398; www.sushikawasportsbar.webs. com. TOM’S FARMS OLD FASHIONED HAMBURGERS. Bored of the daily burger grind? Try a Latin Burger, Tom’s Original 1/3 Pounder or the Jumbo Irish Nachos for new tastes. 23900 Temescal Canyon Rd., 951.277.4103; www. tomsfarms.com. $

FONTANA Cowboy Burgers & BBQ. Thick, juicy burgers and heaping plates of barbeque beef ribs. 11673 Etiwanda Ave., 951.681.2020. $ IXTAPA MEXICAN RESTAURANT. Tired of the same old Mexican restaurant? Try some refreshing chips, salsa and guacamole with a few unique entrees like bacon wrapped over juicy shrimp. Mmm! 15035 Foothill Blvd., Suite D, 909.829.1099; www.ixtapafontana.com. Mario’s Italian Restaurant and Pizza. Besides the pizza, this restaurant’s most popular meal is the chicken cacciatore and spaghetti. 9733 Sierra Ave., 909.350.1212. $

JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

dinning guide MONTCLAIR Bombay Bistro RESTAURANT & BAR. We wonder if the Bombay Bistro knows that Bombay is once again Mumbai? 8851 Central Ave. #E, 909.445.1455; www.bombaybistrobar. com. Tokyo Kitchen. This teppan grill Japanese steak house serves up killer steaks, and the veggie and tofu dish is pretty bangin’. 8851 Central Ave., 909.625.5588; www.tokyokitchenrestaurant.com.

NORCO BLACK HORSE TAVERN AND GRILL. The completely remodeled Black Horse dishes up huge 1 lb. burgers, gourmet sandwiches and the marinated Hanger steak, plus daily lunch and Happy Hour food specials. 1825 Hamner Ave. #A-E, 951.278.2771. $ COWGIRL café 2. This ain’t one of your dimea-dozen burger joints—we’re talkin’ different styles and flavors over here (and the portions, too). 2859 Hamner Ave., 951.371.5465. GRINDER HUT SOUTHERN STYLE BARBECUE. Only open Fridays and Saturdays, but they’re the best two days’ worth of full and half slabs, tri-tips, links and much more. 2462 Hamner Ave., 951.737.7141; www.grinderhutbbq. com. $$ THE MAVERICK STEAKHOUSE AND SALOON. Steaks, burgers, sandwiches and fries—not to mention all the fun of having it in a saloon! 3841 Old Hamner Rd., 951.734.6640; www. mavericksaloonnorco.com. $ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE. Pancakes, waffles and crepes galore; plus one helluva “Dutch Baby.” 1750 Hamner Ave., 951.403.6900; www.originalpancakehouse.com. SWEET BASIL THAI BISTRO. Thai food in Norco? You won’t sound so surprised when you see the sweet and spicy meals offered here. 1670 Hamner Ave., Ste 9, 951.280.0805; $

ONTARIO BENTO BOX JAPANESE GRILL. A nostalgic lunch tray for adults? This menu will make you wish your high school had made food like this. 2910 S. Archibald Ave., Ste C, 909.923.2323; www.sushibentobox.com. $$ FUSIONS BAR & GRILL. Great grub options exist here, include the tasty fries, soups and, hey, 101 martinis, too! 3550 Porsche Way; www.facebook.com/pages/Fusions-MartiniLounge-and-Grill/173232196044371. New York Grill. Fancy pants people like to go here—NY steaks, Australian lobster tail, lamb and awesome desserts. 950 Ontario Mills Dr., 909.987.1928; www.newyorkgrill.com. $$$ Philly’s Best. Classic hoagies and big Philly cheese steaks, straight from “The City of Brotherly Love.” 4320 E. Mills Cir., 909.484.7433. $ Porter’s Prime Steakhouse. Open weekdays for lunch from 10am to 2pm and daily for dinner starting at 5:30pm. 222 N. Vineyard Ave., 909.418.4808. Rosa’s ITALIAN RESTAURANT. This restaurant serves food of all Italian regions and claims to be best in all their dishes. 425 N. Vineyard, 909.937.1220; www.rosasitalian.com. $$$

POMONA

THE BURGER HOUSE. Previously known as 2nd on Second Street, this bistro-turned burger joint makes some pretty mean patties. 171 W. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.623.7620; www.theburgerhouse.net. DAY-DAY & DUKE’S WAFFLEHOUSE. Partake in Day-Day’s great soul food cooking and have a glass of Kool-Aid to wash it down. 994 E. Holt Blvd., 909.622.3217; www.facebook.com/Dayday-N-Dukes-Wafflehouse. LOS JARRITOS. It might be Spartan on the inside, but it’s crammed full of flavor on the plates of this Mexican diner. 246 S. Towne Ave., 909.623.3888. NEW YORK DELIGHT. What a delight it is to chomp down on a variety of deli sandwiches featuring fresh-cut meats, some of which actually hail from the Big Apple! 310 S. Thomas St., 909.868.6518; www.nydelight.com. RAWKEN SUSHI. Get your fix of “Bro-sushi;” a few powerful rolls with spice that makes even tough men sweat. 135 E. 2nd St., 909.629.6800; www. rawkensushi.com. THE ROOKERY. Formerly known as Joey’s BBQ, this burger n’ beer joint is taking patty dining to a whole new level. 117 W. 2nd St., 909.815.5215; www.facebook.com/TheRookeryPomona.

RANCHO CUCAMONGA BRIGHT STAR THAI VEGAN CUISINE. Featuring some of the best non-chicken chicken you will ever eat. Full of veg-friendly delights. 9819 Foothill Blvd., 909.980.9797; www.brightstarvegan.com. THE DELI. Top-notch sandwiches and burgers make this simply-named food stop “deli-ghtful.” 9671 Foothill Blvd., 909.989.8122. FARRELL’S ICE CREAM PARLOR. This place brings back all of your childhood memories of loud birthday celebration songs, tasty meals and the best dang selection of ice cream around. 10742 Foothill Blvd., 909.989.8777; www.farrelsusa.com. FLAMINGO PALMS. All the Cuban food your heart desires, including chicken, beef and pork plates. 9223 Archibald Ave. #H, 909.484.1177. KABUKI. Don’t let the Victoria Gardens mall give you the “skeevs.” Here you’ll find great selection of sushi that is better than any food court dish. 12595 N. Mainstreet, 909.646.8555; www. kabukirestaurants.com. THE LAZY DOG RESTAURANT AND BAR. This is the place if you want good food for yourself or your canine companion. 11560 4th St., 909.987.4131; www.lazydogcafe.com. $$ LOCO CANTINA & GRILL. Traditional Mexican menu served up to 2am nightly. 11815 Foothill Blvd. #E, 909.980.5800; www.myspace.com/ lococantina&grill. Magic Lamp Inn. Offers American cuisine and is open Tuesday thru Friday for lunch, and Tuesday thru Sunday for dinner. 8189 Foothill Blvd., 909.981.8659; www.themagiclampinn.com. $$$ PAISANO RISTORANTE ITALIANO & BAR. Your goto place for deliciously cooked Italian cuisine. 12574 N. Main St. #3930, Rancho Cucamonga, 909.803.8777; www.paisanoristorante.com. Vince’s Spaghetti. Nearly anyone who grew up in Rancho Cucamonga has had family dinners at this inexpensive, authentic Italian eatery. 8241 Foothill Blvd., 909.981.1003; www. vincesspaghettiroute66.com.

RIVERSIDE 54 DEGREE’S AT DUANE’S. This wine bar’s servin’ up an assortment of tapas, too. 3649 Mission Inn

Open Up and Say Yum! Do you looooove food and eating? Then go to ieweekly.com every Wednesday and click on “Bite Me!” under “Eats” to feast on our latest and greatest food blog brought to you by Food Editor Ashley Bennett.

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

Ave., 951.341.6767; www.missioninn.com. BEST THAI. In a hurry for some curry? Try this quick, quality, authentic stop. 1735 Spruce St. #F, 951.682.4256; www.bestthai-cuisine. com. $ Café Sevilla. Spanish fare, Tapas bar, the works. Also has dinner shows on weekends. In The Marketplace. 3252 Mission Inn Ave., 951.778.0611; www.cafesevilla.com. $$$ COBBLESTONE BAKERY & DELI. Need a sandwich with an extra kick—or one that’s just extra thick? This place has the tastes and sizes to surprise. 8304 Limonite Ave., 951.685.6161; www.cobblestonebakery.com. DONA TIMOS la cascada MEXICAN GRILL. They’re doing God’s work when it comes to their tacos, enchiladas and burritos. 3635 University Ave., 951.684.8614. s here range from the Irish inspired to the pub-tastic! 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr. #532, 951.682.2933; www.killarneys.com/riverside. $$ KIM’S SPORTS BAR & GRILL. Make sure you sample Kim’s expertly prepared tacos—and some brews to go with them! 2994 Rubidoux Blvd., 951.686.2200. $$ LITTLE GREEN ONIONS. A breakfast place that’s at its best when you stick with the basics. 6723 Brockton Ave., 951.328.1273. Market Broiler. Open daily at 11am for lunch and dinner. Lunch is served until 3pm. The Market Broiler offers a children’s menu, senior’s discount and full bar. 3525 Merrill St., 951.276.9007; www.marketbroiler.com. MIJOS TACOS. Cheap eats are in abundance, as none of the Tex-Mex tastes here clock in at over ten bucks. 10203 Hole Ave., 951.358.0402. NEW YORK PIZZA CO. If you’re missing that East Coast flavor, this place has that thincrust appeal on lock. And try the pastrami sandwich, too. You’re welcome. 3570 Van Buren Blvd., 951.688.4000; www.newyorkpizzariverside.com. OASIS VEGETARIAN CAFÉ & BAKERY. This place is a veggie/vegan’s delight, featuring both American and Hispanic cuisine. Seeking meatless steak burgers or tacos? Look no further. 11550 Pierce St., 951.688.5423; www. oasisvegetarian.com. OISHII SUSHI & TERIYAKI. Get your mouth “sea deep in roll heaven,” as we like to say ‘round here. 6133 Magnolia Ave., 951.784.2550; www.myspace.com/oishiisushi. $$ Olivia’s Mexican Restaurant. Everything is made fresh daily and if you haven’t been here before, well, you’re missing out. 9447 Magnolia Ave., 951.689.2131; www.oliviasmexicanrestaurant.com. $ PUNJAB PALACE. Satisfy your hungering itch for spice with a few dishes that might empty your wallet but certainly fill your stomach. 1766 University Ave., Ste 102, Riverside, 951.686.9968; www.punjabpalacecuisineofindia.com. $$ ROMANO’S CHICAGO PIZZARIA. Deep-dish Chicago style pizza that’s worth every bite. The Italian fare is terrific, too. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., 951.781.0773; www.romanosrestaurants.com. ROYAL ORCHID THAI. Fast food Thai that thankfully doesn’t taste like fast food. 9791 Magnolia Ave., 951.354.6100. THE SALTED PIG. It’s name is the tip off that there’s plenty of pork to be had here. Don’t miss out on such items as the pork belly sandwich, the Really Good Burger (that’s the name!) or the bacon ice cream sandwich. 3700 12th St., 951.848.4020; www.saltedpigriverside.com. SIMPLE SIMON’S BAKERY & BISTRO. When it comes to the specialty sandwiches, this place serves terrific tastes between two pieces of bread. (We love the Italian Grinder and Croissant Club.) 3639 Main St., 951.369.6030. SMOKEY CANYON BBQ. Grab a whiff of hickory with these tasty, meaty dishes. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr. #9, 951.782.8808; www.

smokeycanyon.com. $$ Templo Del Sol. What could be better than a bunch of meat, cheese, beans and veggies wrapped in a large flour tortilla? 1365 University Ave., 951.682.7047. YELLOW CHILI TAPAS KITCHEN AND BAR. This joint has opened a restaurant strictly to praise the art of the appetizer. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., Ste. # 42, 951.686.9400. ZACATECAS CAFÉ. This place dates back to 1963. That should tell you something about its great Mexican grub right there. 2472 University Ave., 951.683.3939. ZORBA’S RESTAURANT. Deliciously traditional American burgers that you can wash down with a unique assortment of over fifty soda flavors. 450 Iowa Ave., 951.686.5830.

great cuisine getaways Explore the outer-IE’s great culinary treasures. THE ADOBE GRILL. 49499 Eisenhower Dr., La Quinta, 760.564.4111; www.laquintaresort.com. ALICANTE. 140 S. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.325.9464; www.alicanteps.com. AZTLAN TACOS. 29280 Central Ave., Ste G, Lake Elsinore, 951.471.0440. BAMBOO ASIAN RESTAURANT. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 888.732.4264; www. pechanga.com. THE BISTRO. 84245 Indio Springs Dr., Indio, 760.342.5000; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. CAFÉ AROMA. 54750 N. Circle Dr., IdyllwildPine Cove, 951.659.5212; www.cafearoma. org CHICAGO PASTA HOUSE. 24667 Sunnymead Blvd., Moreno Valley, 951.924.5777; www. chicagopastahouse.com. CURRY AND KABOB. 12125 Day St., Ste H-301, Moreno Valley, 951.682.7500. ERNIE’S BAR AND GRILL. 56150 PGA Blvd., La Quinta, 760.564.4111; www.laquintaresort. com. FILIPPI’S PIZZA GROTTO. 27309 Jefferson Ave., Temecula, 951.699.8900; www.realcheesepizza.com. GREAT OAK STEAKHOUSE. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.770.8507; www. pechanga.com. THE HOOD BAR AND PIZZA, 74360 Hwy 111, Palm Desert, 760.636.5220; www.thehoodbar. com. JIAO. 515 N. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.321.1424; www.jiaops.com. JOY. 84245 Indio Springs Dr., Indio, 800.827.2946; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. KING’S HIGHWAY. 701 E. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.325.9900; www.acehotel. com/palmsprings/dining. LIAM’S IRISH PUB. 1087 S. Mt. Vernon Ave., Colton, 909.422.9900. MADLON’S RESTAURANT, 829 W. Big Bear Blvd., Big Bear, 909.585.3762; www.madlonsrestaurant.com. MD BURGER. 494999 Eisenhower Dr., La Quinta, 760.564.4111; www.laquintaresort.com. PAPPY & HARRIETS. 53688 Pioneertown Rd., Pioneertown, 760.365.5956; www.pappyandharriets.com. PINNOCCHIO IN THE DESERT. 134 E. Tahquitz Canyon Wy., Palm Springs, 760.322.3776; www.pinnocchiops.com. RESTAURANT AT PONTE. 35053 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.252.1770; www. pontewinery.com. SPORTSWATCH BAR AND GRILL. 27961 Highland Ave., Highland, 909.280.3250; www. sportswatchbarandgrill.com. SUN DOWNERS FAMILY RESTAURANT. 1131 S. “E” St., San Bernardino, 909.884.3510; www. sundownersfamilyrestaurant.com TACOS AND TEQUILA. 49750 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.252.4499; www.morongocasinoresort.com. TROPICAL BBQ. 26684 Margarita Rd., Murrieta, 951.698.4124; www.tropicalbbqtemecula.com. TWENTY6. 494999 Eisenhower Dr., La Quinta, 760.564.4111; www.laquintaresort.com.

tue 01/07

EDDIE JARVIS & FRIENDS

This Los Angeles based stand-up comedian was originally from the IE—Riverside to be exact. You may have seen him on Last Comic Standing or at a comedy club in Hollywood. Whether or not you’ve witnessed this funny guy in person, his act is so original and hilarious, it’s definitely worth the trip. He’ll undoubtedly be the most hilarious act you’ve seen all year. 8pm. $5. Ontario Improv, 4555 Mills Cir., Ontario, (909) 484-5411; ontario.improv.com.

wed 01/08

OPEN MIC JAM

There are great musicians hiding in each and every corner of the IE, just waiting to be discovered. If you think you might be the next big thing in music, “bring your axe and jam” at the Bahama Mamas Sports Bar! This cool atmosphere provides the perfect setting for your big debut. Not the musical type? You can still come by, enjoy a drink and watch the talent dominate the stage. 7:30pm. Bahama Mamas Sports Bar, 24801 Sunnymead Blvd., Moreno Valley, (951) 485-0203.

mon 01/06 “GLIMPSES OF A STREET VIEW”

thu 01/02

Joe Zaldivar is an artist who has been diagnosed with autism, who has used his skills in both drawing and ceramic art to transform his everyday interests into innovative masterpieces. His portfolio has an array of portraits, landscapes and topographical recreations of some of America’s popular cities, which reference his spirit of adventure. With his latest body of work, Zaldivar uses his tablet to find images on Google Maps; he then recreates them into obscure panoramas. These panoramic pieces evoke a distortion in time and space enhanced by his monochromatic color schemes and alternative canvas choices. With three-dimensional installations and wall hung pieces, this show will include his renditions of the corner of Hollywood and Vine, as well as the first Starbucks in Seattle, Washington. In this series, you will notice that Zaldivar does not miss a single detail in his drawings, from the interior design of the cars parked in the streets to advertised products in a Starbucks’ window. Self proclaimed as the First Street Gallery’s “most exciting artist to watch,” it is apparent that Zaldivar will continue to grow stronger as he relishes in his skills with relentless persistence and faith. The world is in his hands, both literally and figuratively, and the time has come for him to present it to the rest of us, filtered by his creativity and unique talents. (Victoria Banegas) 9:30am-5pm. First Street Gallery Art Center, 250 W. 1st St. #120, Claremont, (909) 626-5455; www.tierradelsol.org/programs/1st-street-gallery-art-center.

sun 01/05

CHARLIE SHOEMAKE QUINTET

America’s favorite jazz masters will have you be-bopping to your favorite jams from Big Band to boogie. Charlie Shoemake Quintet is no exception—bringing you some of the richest variety of talented jazz musicians to grace the Inland Empire. Always armed with more than what you’d expect from the local zoo, get ready for a swingin’ good time at The Living Desert. 3pm. $30-$45. The Living Desert, 47900 Portola Ave., Palm Desert, (760) 346-5694; www.livingdesert.org.

sat 01/04

MICHAEL RYAN’S IRISH CELEBRATION

Music, song and dance will take the stage at The Candlelight Pavilion for a weekend of all things Irish. Featuring Michael Ryan with an ensemble of skilled musicians and Irish dancers, the audience will enjoy a day full of traditional Irish culture. While a meal isn’t included with this performance, desserts and beverages will be available for purchase. 7pm. $20. The Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre, 455 W. Foothill Blvd., Claremont, (909) 626-1254; www.candlelightpavilion.com.

“NATURE’S BELOVED SON”

The widely known naturalist and conservationist John Muir inspired this exhibition because of his lifelong passion for plants. Muir’s fascination with nature is demonstrated through an array of historic images, journal pages, drawings and quotations at the exhibit “Nature’s Beloved Son.” If only everyone had a fascination and appreciation for nature that came close to that of Muir’s, the environment would be in much more capable hands. 12pm-4pm. Museum of History and Art, 225 S. Euclid Ave., Ontario, (909) 395-2510; www.ci.ontario.ca.us.

fri 01/03

THE GOON’S ARMY

It’s a New Year, so you should try and start it out by listening to some killer punk rock music, especially if you haven’t delved in this genre of tunes before. The Goon’s Army show will do just the trick, with each member of this army—Lt. Hooligan, Pvt. Decay, Commander Paranoia, Major Castastrophe and the Goon—spreading destruction and chaos infused with lots of booze. Mission Tobacco Lounge, 3630 University Ave., Riverside, (951) 682-4427; go2mtl.com. JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar (CALL AHEAD FOR TIMES AND COVER CHARGE. LISTING DATES AND INFORMATION ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.) If you would like to be in these listings or have information that needs to be changed/corrected, please contact us at calendar@ieweekly.com or (951) 284-0120 x585.

MUSIC 135 EAST. Every Sun Sunday Slaughterhouse. Every Tues Rock Tuesdays feat. Live bands. 10pm. Every Wed Live hip-hop. 6pm. 135 2nd St., Pomona, 909.629.8100; www.135east.com. ALOFT HOTEL. Every Wed Acoustic Wednesdays. 8pm. 10480 4th St., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.484.2018; www.aloftontariorc.com. AROMA INDIAN GRILL & BANQUET. Every Fri All The Way Live Dinner & Jazz Show. 7pm & 10pm. 965 W. Foothill Blvd., Upland, 909.9823616; www.aromagrillupland. com. BARNACLES SPORTS BAR. Every Fri-Sat Live Music. 1936 Mentone Blvd., Mentone, 909.794.5851; www.barnaclessportsbar.com. BENJARONG. Every Fri-Sat Live Music. 1001 Park Ave., Redlands, 909.792.3235; www.thebenjarong. com. BRIDGES HALL OF MUSIC. Fri South African Guest Pianist. 8pm. 150 E. 4th St., Claremont, 909.607.2671; music.pomona.edu. THE BULLDOG PUB. Every Thurs Bob Summers and His Quartet. Every Sun Bob Summers’ Open Mic Night. 4pm-8pm. Shows: 21+. 1667 N. Mountain Ave., Upland, 909.946.6614. CADILLAC RANCH. Every Thurs Karaoke. 9pm . Fri-Sat Neil Morrow. 9pm. Sun Jaye Sooter. 5pm . 22581 Outer Hwy. 18, Apple Valley, 760.247.7060; www.cadillacranchav.com. CANDLELIGHT PAVILION, Fri-Sun Michael Ryan’s Irish Celebration. 455 W. Foothill Blvd., Claremont, 909.626.1254; www.candlelightpavilion.com. CLUB TRINIDAD. Every Mon and Tues Tomcats. 7pm-11pm. The Purple Room, 1900 E. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.969.1800. DAILY GRIND. Every 1st Fri Open Mic. 6pm-10pm. Every Sat Live Showcase. 2955 Van Buren Blvd., Riverside, 951.352.7477; wwwdailybrewcrew.com. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE.

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

Every 1st Sat Live bands feat. Nuke Mutant Promotions Rockabilly, Rock en Espanol and more. 9pm-2am. Every 2nd Fri La Nueva Cueva. 9pm-2am. Every 2nd Sat Live Rockabilly & Phsycobillthescrubdaily.com y bands feat. Empire Ent. & Blue Jean Betty. 9pm-2am. Every 3rd Fri Noche De Bandas Y Conjuntos. 9pm-2am. Every 3rd Sat Live heavy metal bands feat. Wolf Attack. 9pm-2am. Every 4th Fri la Nueva Cueva. Every 4th Sat Live ska and reggae bands. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www.empireloungeandnightclub.com. 21+. FANTASY SPRINGS RESORT CASINO. Fri Golden Boys—Fabian; Bobby Rydell; Frankie Avalon. 84245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 760.342.5000; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. FLOUR FUSION. Every Fri Live Music. 7pm. 133 N. Main St., Lake Elsinore, 951.245.1166; www.flourfusion.com. HANGAR 24 BREWERY. Every Wed Live Music. 6:30pm-9:30pm.1710 Sessums Dr., Redlands, 909.398.1400; www.hangar24brewery.com. LA CREPERIE. Every Fri-Sat Jazz Night. 7pm-10pm. 3968 Grand Ave., Chino, 909.342.6016; www.lacreperiecafe.net. MARDI GRAS RESTAURANT. Every Sat Jeff Chaz Blues Band. 7pm. 201 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.884.5000; www.mardigrasrestaurant.com. MARGARITAS RESTAURANT. Every Sun Live Music. 10:30am. 1000 E Tahquitz Canyon Rd., Palm Springs, 760.778.3500; www.margaritasrestaurant.net. MARIO’S PLACE. Every Fri & Sat Live Music. 10pm-1am. 3646 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7755; www.mariosplace.com. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Fri The Goon’s Army. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www.missiontobaccolounge.com THE PALACE. Every 1st and 3rd Sun West Coast Sundays 9pm. 1276 W. 7th St., Upland, www.openmicbattle.eventbrite.com. PEPE’S RESTAURANTAND ENTERTAINMENT. Every Fri Live Music. 31780 Railroad Canyon Rd., Canyon Lake, 951.244.7373; www. pepescanyonlake.com. PLUM HOUSE COFFEE CLUB. Every Fri, Sat & Tues Open Mic. Night. 6pm. 3882 12th St., Riverside, 951.784.1369; www.myspace. com/theplumhouse. THE PURPLE ROOM, Sat Todd Ashley 6pm. 572 N Indian Canyon,

Palm Springs, 760.969.1800. REDLANDS UNDERGROUND. Every Mon Open mic night hosted by Shaina Turian. 9:30pm. 19 E. Citrus, Redlands, 909.798.1500; www. redlandsunderground.com. RIVERSIDE ART MUSEUM. Thurs, Jan. 2 Phillip Martone and Glenn Bach. 7pm. 3425 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7111; www. riversideartmuseum.com. ROMANO’S CONCERT LOUNGE. Every Wed Open Mic Night. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., Riverside, 951.781.7662; www.theconcertlounge.com. SORREL BISTRO. Every First Fri Therapy feat. Live music and art. 41377 Margarita Rd., Suite F-108, Temecula, 951.296-3372; www. sorrelbistro.com. SPORTSWATCH BAR & GRILL. Every Fri Live music. 9pm. 27961 Highland Ave. #B, Highland, 909.280.3250; www.sportswatchbarandgrill. com. SPOTLIGHT 29 CASINO. Fri Beatles Cover Band. 46-200 Harrison Pl., Coachella, 866.377.6829; www. spotlight29.com THE UPSIDEDOWN BAR. Every Thurs Live reggae. Every Fri Live rock music. Every Sat 80s Night. 10555 Mills Ave., Montclair, 909.626.9091; www.upsidedownbar.com. 21+.

that this Fantasy Springs location is picturesque. Just imagine what you can see from the 12th floor! Fri Weekly Wine Down tastings. 7pm-9pm. $30. 84-245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 800.827.2946; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. 26 DEGREES. Cold beer, hot girls, great food, good times! Tues Ladies night. Wed & Thurs Karaoke.

Happy hour, daily 3pm-7pm. 1535 E. Ontario Ave. #101, Corona, 951.734.1900. 135 EAST. This is the newest lounge bar on the block that not only has an extensive dining menu and plenty of musical events to choose from but you’re also confronted with one of the most difficult decisions: choosing from one of their 135

different martinis. Happy Hour: Mon-Fri, 3pm-7pm. 2 for 1 beers and well drinks. 1/2 off appetizers. 135 2nd St., Pomona, 909.629.8100; www.135east. com. 340 RESTAURANT & NIGHTCLUB. Every Fri-Sat 2-4-1 drinks 7pm9pm. Every Sun All drinks 2-4-1, 7pm-9pm. Open drag contest hosted by Rupaul’s Drag Race

upcoming BLACK BEAR & THE CHEYENNE AUTUMN BAND, Eureka Burger, Jan. 9. THE FAB FOUR, Pechanga Resort & Casino, Jan. 10. THE MAD MARIONETTES, Mission Tobacco Lounge, Jan. 10. RIVER ROAD, Cadillac Ranch Saloon, Jan. 10. 2 BIT PALOMINO, The Cave, Jan. 11. BIG SANDY, Mission Tobacco Lounge, Jan. 11. THE FAB FOUR, Pechanga Resort & Casino, Jan. 11. GOLD RUSH COUNTRY, Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill, Jan. 11. KATHLEEN MADIGAN, Spotlight 29 Casino, Jan. 11. RIVER ROAD, Cadillac Ranch Saloon, Jan. 11. SNOOP LION, Fantasy Springs Resort Casino, Jan. 11. TODD ASHLEY, The Purple Room, Jan. 11. YOUNG DUBLINERS, The Glass House, Jan. 11.

bars & lounges 2ND AVENUE SALOON & SPORTS BAR. Come on, rack ‘em up, right over here! There’s pizza, too. Sun-Thurs Free pool all day. Fri-Sat Free pool until 7pm. 271 N. 2nd Ave., Upland, 909.946.1750. 12TH FLOOR WINE BAR & COCKTAIL LOUNGE. We’ve been told JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar All Star Raven, 9:30pm. TIGERHEAT presents LOUD! 340 S. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.865.9340; www.340nightclub.com. ALIBI EAST. The bar’s website states that it’s all new and even “industrial strength.” Sun Beer Bust. $1.50 domestic drafts, $1 tacos. 3pm-9pm. Mon “M” Madness Mondays. Any “m” drink for $5. Tues Karaoke. 9pm-1am. Wed Happy hour all day. Thurs $3-$4$5 drafts and wells. Fri $2 domestic bottles. 9pm. 225 S. San Antonio Ave., Pomona, 909.623.9422; www.alibieast.com. ART’S BAR & GRILL. Over 50 varieties of cold beer, right here! Tues Taco Tuesdays, 75 cent tacos. 3357 University Ave., Riverside, 951.683.9520. BACK DOOR. Just a regular little ol’ bar with a juke, pool table, darts and Monday Night Football, if it’s on (and in season). 1250 E. Mission Blvd., Pomona, 909.622.6282. BACK TO THE GRIND. Every Tues Open mic music night. 7pm. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800; www.back2thegrind.com. BAHAMA MAMAS SPORTS BAR. This place has it all with six pool tables, 14 flat screen TVs, a dance floor and an outdoor patio with entertainment every night. Every Mon Karaoke. Every Wed Live Open Mic Jam with The Tomcats. 7:30pm. Every Thurs Hip-hop. Every Fri-Sat Great Dance Music. Every Sun NFL Sunday Ticket. Every Day Happy Hour 3pm-7pm. 24801 Sunnymead Blvd., Moreno Valley, 951.485.0203. BARNACLES SPORTS BAR. They’ve got plenty of specialty drinks that will turn your calm evening of enjoying live music and good food into the night of your life! Happy Hour: 3pm-7pm. Every Tues and Thurs Karaoke. Every Wed Free jukebox. 6pm-9pm. 1936 Mentone Blvd., Mentone, 909.794.5851; www.barnaclessportsbar.com. BIG CHEESE PIZZA CO. Sun Swerve Sundays, $5 with student ID, $10 cover, $20 Vip patio. Ladies free before 10pm. 3397 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 888.784.0555; www.thebigcheesepiza.com. BLACK HORSE TAVERN. This recently remodeled Norco hangout has ten beers on tap and daily lunch specials. Happy Hour food and drink specials

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Mon-Fri, 3pm-7pm; all day Sun. 1825 Hamner Ave. #A, Norco, 951.278.2771. BLACK WATCH PUB. An Upland staple featuring plenty of regulars and plenty of folks just there for the live music, which happens every weekend. Thurs Darts. Fri-Sat Live bands. 497-B N. Central Ave., Upland, 909.981.6069; www.myspace. com/blackwatchpub. BLU BAR & GRILL. Located inside the Hilton Ontario Airport, this stop features a ton of drink specials, from drafts and wells to wines and much more. (There are food specials, too.) Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 4pm-6pm. 700 N. Haven Ave., Ontario, 909.980.0400. THE BOILER ROOM. Happy Hour, Tues-Sat, 7pm-10pm. 345 5th St., Redlands, 909.792.8855; www. theboilerroom.com. BOONDOCKS. It was the new bar in town. (That is, until the next one opened.) Thurs Karaoke. Fri Live bands. Sat Karaoke. Sun Open mic night. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed Industry night. 100 E. Harrison, Corona, 951.739.0646; www.myspace. com/boondockscorona. BRANDIN’ IRON. California’s longest running honky-tonk, since 1969. Brassy, classy authentic saloon and restaurant, with a huge maple dance floor to scoot your boots. 18+ unless otherwise noted. Thurs World Famous $1.50 U-Call-Its, $2.50 domestics. 5pm-2am. Fri Ladies Night. $1 drafts, $2.50 wells. 7pm-9pm.18+. Sat Dollar Saturday, $1 drafts, 2.50 wells. 6pm-2am. Tues $1 Taco Night. 6pm-1am. Wed College Night. No cover with college/ military ID. 7pm-11pm. $1 Drafts, $2 Well Drinks, $2 longnecks. Happy Hour: Tues, 6pm-1am, Wed, 7pm3am, Thurs, 5pm-2am, Fri, 7pm-9pm, Sat, 6pm-9pm. 320 S. E St., San Bernardino, 909.888.7388; www. brandinironsaloon.com. THE BULLDOG PUB. Mon Comedy Night. Tues Pub Quiz. Wed Open Mic Night. Fri Karaoke. 9pm. 1667 Mountain Ave. #117, Upland, 909.946.6614. cACTUS CANTINA. Plenty of frozen specialty drinks to keep you coming back to their drink menu (there’s some good grub, too). Mon-Fri Food specials & happy hour. 3pm-6pm. 151 E. Alessandro Blvd., Riverside, 951.789.0211; www.cactuscantina.org. CADILLAC RANCH. Everything

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you could possibly want in a bar: karaoke, featured days; heck if you pay them they’ll even call a limo to come pick you up. Sat Karaoke Party. 9pm. Every Mon Football party 5pm. 22581 Outer Hwy. 18, Apple Valley, 760.247.7060; www.cadillacranchav.com. CANCUN BAR & GRILL. It’s a Dance club, fine dining and sports bar: Cancun Bar & Grill has it all! Daily food and drink specials. Not to mention the massive beer and liquor selection available. Thirty flat screens cover the walls with awesome surround sound. Plus free pool from 4pm -11pm. 801 Tri City Center Dr., Redlands. 909.798.5400. CAPRI LOUNGE. Just a nice local bar. Really. Ask them. We did. 1355 E. 4th St., Ontario, 909.984.5405. CARNAVAL NIGHTCLUB. You’re ideal club, completing your night of dancing and rockin music that tricks you into thinking you’re somewhere in Rio. 342 S. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.623.6600; www.carnavalclub.com. CASA 425. A gorgeous and rather hip hotel in the western half of Claremont’s Village, with a lovely lounge to boot. Sun-Thurs Happy hour with drink specials. 4pm-7pm. 425 W. 1st St., Claremont, 866.450.0425; www. casa425.com. CHAPARRAL LIVE ROOM. It’s no longer just another bar in a bowling alley, as the Live Room’s now a full-scale nightclub with a dance floor, pool tables, hi-def TVs, darts, nightly drink specials and food! Thurs, Sat & Sun Live music. Fri Karaoke. Wed Strike Lounge. 8pm. 400 W. Bonita Ave., San Dimas, 909.592.2772; www.chaparralliveroom.com. CHAPPIE’S. Its St. Patrick’s Day all year long at this lounge pub that doesn’t have pool tables but does have two golfing machines and dart boards. Live bands, occasionally. Thurs, Sat & Sun Live music. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 7am-10am & 4pm-6pm. Mon & Tues Karaoke. Wed DJ. 229 E. Florida Ave., Hemet, 951.658.3410. CHARACTERS. Located in downtown Pomona’s Antique Row/ Arts & Music Colony, this bar features pool tables, darts and live sports. There’s also live music and DJs in the outdoor patio. Thurs Ladies Night. Drink specials. Fri-Sat Live bands. Sun Karaoke. 9pm. 276 E. 1st St., Pomona, 909.622.9070; www.characterspomona.com. CHERP’S COCKTAILS. Go here, if only to find out who or what

Cherp is. Mon-Fri Happy Hour. 3pm-6pm. 8627 Sierra Ave., Fontana, 909.823.1234. CHULAS RESTAURANT & SPORTS BAR. Fri Karaoke. 9pm. Every 1st, 3rd & 5th Fri Funky Fridays. DJ/ dancing. Top 40 hits. 401 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.391.1000; www.mtnchulas.com. CITIZENS BUSINESS BANK ARENA, Sun Cantares Corp Presenta Joan Sebastian; Ezequiel Pena. 7pm. 4000 E. Ontario Center Pkwy., Ontario. 909.244.5500; www.cbbankarena.com CLOVER CLUB. Pool tables and all that usual bar stuff. Fri & Sat Karaoke. 8pm. 25570 Baseline St., San Bernardino, 909.884.8363. CORRAL BAR & GRILL. Dining, sports and an atmosphere of a friendly neighborhood bar where everyone knows your name. Mon-Fri Happy Hour. 3pm7pm. 12345 S. Mountain Ave. #2, Chino, 909.613.5995. COYOTE BEACH. Featuring some of the best BBQ around, plus don’t miss the pool tables and air hockey. Open Tues-Sat, 4pm. Fri-Sat DJ Dance night. Tues Taco Tuesdays, $1 tacos. Tues & Wed Free pool. Wed Karaoke. 8pm. 835 N. Main St., Corona, 951.371.2225. DBA256 GALLERY.WINE BAR. Ritzy and sophisticated, this comfy wine bar doubles as an art gallery with rotating monthly exhibits. Mon, Wed, Thurs & Fri Happy Hour. 3pm-6pm. Wine tasting daily. 6pm-9pm. 256 S. Main St., Pomona, 909.623.7600; www.dba256. com. DEMPSEY’S SPORTS BAR & GRILL. As the flier says, it’s a whole new ball game in Corona. Big screen TVs are showing all your favorite teams. (We love the Clippers!) Thurs Ladies Night. Live DJs. Tues Comedy Night. Wed-Fri Live bands. Happy hour, 4pm-7pm. 511 N. Main St. #105, Corona, 951.270.0152; www.dempseyssportsbar.com. DUKE’S BAR & GRILL. Great food, flat screens, sports, music, dancing and more. Not to mention the intense Karaoke contests. Happy hour every day, 4pm-6pm. Every Wed Karaoke. 9pm. 3221 Iowa Ave., Riverside, 951.248.1143. ELGIN & FAGAN. Sun-Wed Free pool. 3pm-2am. Mon Guys Night. $2.50 domestic bottles for guys. 6pm-2am. Wed Ladies Night. $2.50 wells for ladies. 6pm-2am. Happy hour: daily, 3pm-6pm. 336 W. Highland Ave., San Bernardino, 909.883.8171. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. The Empire knows what’s up! Cheap drinks, tasty finger foods, five TVs, free pool and free

parking. Not to mention a pretty sweet sound system, dance floor and plenty of live music and DJs to go around! Happy hour: MonSat 4pm-8pm. Half-off all beers & mix drinks. Every Mon Swag Promotions. 8pm-10pm. Open Mic 10pm-2am. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www. empireloungeandnightclub. com. 21+. EVENTS BAR & GRILL. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed, Sat & Sun Drink specials. Happy hour, 11am-7pm. 16560 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.352.2693. FINISH LINE BAR & GRILL. Let’s put the emphasis on sports with this sports bar and grill, featuring racing-themed memorabilia, fitting for its positioning somewhere between a horse racing track and a drag strip. Wagering, lotsa TVs and, of course, plenty of food and drink, too. Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 5pm-7:30pm. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed Karaoke. 2201 N. White Ave., Gate 12, Pomona, 909.865.4154; www. fairplex.com/flsg. THE FLAMINGO. A staple of the Redlands bar scene—which, in the I.E., means that there are a few bars within walking distance of each other. The oftenmistakenly-called Pink Flamingo is your classic neighborhood bar that’s been open for years. Tues Karaoke. 10pm. 338 Orange St., Redlands, 909.792.9917. FOX BAR & GRILL. A hotspot in downtown Pomona right next to the historic Fox Theater, featuring 36 flat screen TVs, live entertainment and all sorts of good grub and daily specials. Happy Hour, Mon-Fri, 5pm-8pm; Sat-Sun, 11am-8pm. 333 S. Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3671. GALLI’S RESTAURANT & BAR. This nice little place keeps it lively every day of the week. Sun & Tues Karaoke. 7pm. 6620 Carnelian St., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.941.1100; www.gallis.net. FRIAR TUCKS. Open for well over a decade, Tucks is all about supporting live music. From punk rock and reggae to drum & bass, the tunes are always bumpin’ in this Pomona landmark castle. Happy hour, 4pm-7pm. 540 E. Foothill Blvd., Pomona, 909.625.7265; www. myspace.com/friarsus. GRAZIANO’S SPORTS BAR. Sat Karaoke. 8pm. Mon-Fri Happy hour, 3pm-7pm. Wed Karaoke. 1615 Mountain Ave., Upland, 909.981.2924. THE GREEN FROG. Guess what? That’s right! Pool tables and a juke. Fri Live bands. Wed Comedy night. 27212 Baseline St., Highland, 909.864.6169.

HANGAR 24 CRAFT BREWERY. Sick of not getting fresh beer? Well, folks, this is fresh beer, as in made right before your very own eyes. Pale Ale or an Orange Wheat, anyone? Tasting hours Mon-Fri, 11am-9pm. 1710 Sessums Dr., Redlands, 909.389.1400; www.hangar24brewery.com HARD HATS. They have your favorite game or race on the large screen satellite TVs, NFL Sunday Ticket, pool, games and an exclusive smoking room. Last Wed of every month Lingerie Party. You can get your beer from a chick in a bikini or lacy under-things. (Not sure if you have to wear the lingerie yourself.) 1950 S. Four Wheel Dr., Norco, 951.734.0276; www.clubzone.com. HAROLD’S SALOON. Hey, they got some of them pool tables here—and some chilly-willy beer! What more do you need? Just a life-sized pig in the corner. 3834 Megginson Ln., Riverside; 951.359.5261. HI-BROW. Probably one of the coolest “dive” bars anywhere because it actually hasn’t been overrun with poser Joe Cools, instead catering to the up-andcoming generation of hapless barflies. Open 365 days a year— which means you really don’t have to sit through an entire Christmas dinner with your relatives. 547 E. Foothill Blvd., Pomona, 909.626.9340. Hideaway. Oh, yeah. Pool, juke and some sweet, sweet sounds of Ernie the Mailman singin’ the Everly Brothers. Thurs Karaoke. 9pm. Sun Free pool. 32392 Mission Trail, Lake Elsinore, 951.245.4919. HIP KITTY JAZZ & FONDUE. A swanky little joint with great bar and a beautiful stage featuring live jazz most nights. Open TuesSun, 6:30pm-2am. 502 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.447.6700; www. hipkittyjazz.com. THE HOOKUP. Neighborhoody gay bar with a juke, pool table and a restaurant in back. Thurs Pool tournament. 8pm. Sat-Sun Specials. 10am-2pm. Sun Beer Bust. 3pm-8pm. Wed Karaoke! 8pm. 1047 E. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.620.2844; www.hook-up.net. JOE’S BAR & GRILL. “The fun flows from your head to your toes when you party at Joe’s.” I’m mad that I didn’t write that catchphrase myself. Thurs Family Karaoke Night. 7:30pm-11:30pm. Fri Rockin’ Karaoke Night. 10pm2am. Sat Live bands. 10pm. Sun Champagne Brunch. 10am-2pm. Tues Taco Night. Wed Spaghetti Night. 10909 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.637.3931.

KEALOHA’S TASTE OF THE ISLANDS. This authentic Hawaiian restaurant is unlike any L&L Hawaiian Barbeque you’ve ever had. Not to mention their very own Mai Tai Lounge this features some neat drink specials. Mon Game Night. Tues Karaoke. 9pm. Wed Ladies Night feat. food and drink specials for the ladies. Mon-Sat Happy hour. 2pm-7pm. Late Night Happy hour. 9pm-close. Sun Happy hour. 2pm6pm. 12206 Central Ave., Chino, 909.590.0604; www.kealohas. com. KELLY’S SPORTS BAR & BILLIARDS. Yep, they’ve got the sports, the pool table and some live music to rock the house, too. Have fun. Mon-Thurs Happy hour. 10pm-1am. Fri-Sat Karaoke. 5402 Philadelphia Ave., Chino, 909.591.8770. KICKS SPORTS PUB. All the sports and all the pub you’ve ever wanted, in the heart of downtown Fontana. Thurs Kamikazes. $1.50 all night. Fri-Sat Karaoke & drink specials. 9pm-1:45am. Sun Pool Tournament. 4pm. Tues Ladies Night. Shots $1 off. $6 pitchers. Wed Tequila Wednesdays. Happy hour, 10am-12pm, 5pm-7pm. 16788 Arrow Blvd., Fontana, 909.350.1160. KILLARNEY’S PUB AND GRILL, RIVERSIDE. Every Wed Geeks Who Drink Live Trivia. 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr. #532, Riverside, 951.682.2933; www.killarneys. com. KIM’S SPORTS BAR. Nearly a dozen beers on tap and over a hundred varieties of liquor for your drinkin’ pleasure. Plus, enough TVs to ensure no game goes missed. Happy hour daily, 3pm-7pm. Tues Karaoke. 9pm. Thurs Bike Night. 6pm. 2994 Rubidoux Blvd., Riverside, 951.686.2200. KNOCKERS SPORTS BAR. Don’tcha just love the name? Gotta have a little excitement with your drinks. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. 5363 Arrow Hwy., Montclair, 909.445.0301. LAKE ALICE TRADING CO. “The Lake” has been around forever, and offers a sports bar scene with something for everyone: pinball, plasma screen TVs and live music. Happy hour MonFri, 4pm-7pm. Thurs Karaoke. 9pm. Fri-Sat Live bands. Mon Monday Night Football. Tues Taco Tuesday. Wed Live bands. 3616 University Ave., Riverside, 951.686.7343; www.lakealicetradingco.com. LIAM’S IRISH PUB The local Cheers of Colton! Come down for live music, karaoke, comedy and their 38 beers on tap - and you have to at least try

the Leprechaun Nuts! Sun, Mon & Thurs. Karaoke. Tues Comedy Night with $1 tacos and $3 Corona. Wed. Free pool. Everyday. Happy hour. 11am6:30pm. Fri & Sat Live Entertainment. 1087 S. Mt. Vernon Ave., Colton, 909.422.9900; www. liamsirishpub.com. LIMERICKS TAVERN. This neat place sports cool wooden décor and about 15 TVs! Try out some Irish Nachos and watch your favorite sport or well, watch multiple sports at the same time because you totally can. Happy Hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-6pm. 99 cent Draft when you buy one at regular price. 1234 West Foothill Blvd., Upland, 909.920.5630. LIT. It’s Fantasy Springs newest bar and lounge (formerly known as the “Fantasy Lounge”). Fri-Sat Live bands. 9pm. 84245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 760.342.5000; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. THE LOUNGE. The drink specials here start at 6 a.m. Yeah, what are you doing at that time of the morning anyways? Downing a glass of milk with your toast or something? Happy hour daily, 4pm-7pm. Sunday $2.50 Yager Shot. $4 Yager Bomb. Tues $1.75 Budlights. Every Thurs Karaoke. 9pm. 1125 W. 6th St., Corona, 951.808.9122; www.theloungebarcorona.com. LOUNGE 33. Legendary martinis, right here! (The Brooklyn Filthy Martini is sort of like the Amy Winehouse of cocktails—it might be a mess, but definitely worth a try.) Sun Karaoke. MonThurs Happy hour. 4pm-7pm. 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr., Riverside, 951.784.4433; www.loungethirtythree.com. LULU’S HIDEOUT. Well, Little Lulu certainly has her ears full with karaoke seven nights a week! Yep, karaoke every day! MonSat Happy hour. 4pm-7pm. 1958 W. Rialto Ave., San Bernardino, 909.884.3244.

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calendar M15. Your one stop spot for one awesome mix of both cover and up and coming bands. Every Fri ’80s Night. $5 cover. $3 domestic drafts, $5 skinny girl margaritas, $3 gummy bear shots. Every Sun Sunday Night ComedI.E. $15. 1/2 off appetizers, $3 domestic drafts. 9022 Pulsar Ct. #H, Corona, 951.200.4465; www.m15concerts.com. MARIO’S PLACE. Northern Italian Cuisine, weekend music and specialty drinks? I’m in. Fri $4 Selected Craft Beers. 9pm. Sat Specialty Cocktail. Classic Rock and Funk music. $3 off each drink on list. 9pm. 3646 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7755; www.mariosplace.com. MARQUIS COCKTAIL LOUNGE. The other happiest place on Earth, it’s the perfect hangout for a couple drinks and a fine dine. Booze ‘n’ meat… it’s what’s for dinner! Fri-Sat DJs & live music. 9pm. 1036 W. Highland Ave., San Bernardino, 909.882.9342. THE MAVERICK. If you’re at a saloon, and it’s in Norco, chances are you’re in the right spot for some country and western music action. Sun-Thurs Karaoke 8pm-2am. Fri-Sat Live music 9pm2am. Tues-Thurs $1 tacos. Happy hour Sun-Sat, 2pm-7pm. 3841 Old Hamner, Norco. 951.734.6640. www.mavericksaloonnorco. com. MCALAN’S PUB & GRILL. Great food with bands and Top 40 playing weekends. Thurs Live music. 9pm. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed $5 Steak Night. 5pm. 6321 Haven Ave., Alta Loma, 909.484.7847. MENACE MOTORCYCLE BAR & GRILL. We’re wondering what the dudes who ride their 1200cc Harleys to this place think of our sputtering 49cc mopeds. (They’re probably cool with ‘em.) Well-known for their BBQ along the Ortega Highway. Thurs Karaoke 7pm. Fri-Sun Live music. 8pm. 15573 Grand Ave., Lake Elsinore, 951.609.0555; www.menacesportsbarandgrill. com. THE MENAGERIE. We heard this petite, gay dance club isn’t for old geezers anymore, as it was back in the ‘80s. Drag nights and ‘80s nights are part of the weekly fare. Mon Karaoke. 8pm. Drink specials Mon-Fri. 3581 University Ave., Riverside,

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951.788.8000; www.clubmenagerie.com. MIGUEL’S CALIFORNIA MEXICAN COCINA & CANTINA. This familyowned joint actually has three locations and their margaritas are stuff of straight legend. 1920 Frontage Rd., Corona, 951.520.8911; www.miguelsrestaurant.com. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Offering live music seven nights a week, plus a world-class selection of cigars in a climatecontrolled walk-in humidor, and a secluded smoking lounge. Of course, there’s a full bar with lunch and dinner menus, too. Thurs I Luv Dubstep, 1/2 price drinks from 10pm-1am. Tues $2 Tuesdays. $2 Well drinks. $2.50 Domestic drafts. Wed $7 PBR tall can and whiskey shot. Summertime happy hour every day, 11am-7pm, $3 domestics and wells, $4 imports, $5 top shelf liquor. “The Pre-Game,” every day, 8pm-10pm. $2 domestic bottles, $3 wells. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www.missiontobaccolounge. com. Morgan’s Tavern. Tues Free pool. Sun Drink specials. 4850 Tyler Ave., Riverside, 951.785.6775. MORONGO CASINO RESORT & SPA. You’ve already got a perfect gamblin’ spot in Cabazon, what more could you possibly want? Oh that’s right, the recent arrival of an amazing Mexican food restaurant called Tacos & Tequila. Drink up, pig out. $5 food and drink happy hour, 2pm-6pm & 9pm-close. every day. 49500 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.252.4499; www.morongocasinoresort.com. MU RESTAURANT. Every Sat Electro Nights. 309 W. State St., Redlands, 909.798.7747; www. mumartini.com. THE MUSIC ROOM. Thurs & Sun Free pool. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-10pm. 4360 N. Sierra Way, San Bernardino, 909.883.6513. THE OFFICE SALOON. Originally known as Flashbacks, this place has taken a complete 360 with more flat screens added to the mix, including one 150 inch big screen and the added DIRECTV content. Not to mention the newly added stage, dance floor and weekend live music. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. Drink specials. 123 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.884.3088.

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OASIS NIGHT CLUB. Every Fri-Sat $3 drink specials. Entrance free until 9pm. Every Sun Drag Idol, 18+. Every Wed $3 U-Call-Its all night, $4 premiums. 50% off food menu 10pm-1am. 1386 E. Foothill Blvd., Upland, 909.920.9590; www.oasisnightclubupland.com. O’HARA’S COCKTAIL LOUNGE. So, we know this totally sounds like an Irish pub, but guess what? It’s just a regular ol’ bar! What the hell’s the world coming to? Thurs Karaoke. Mon Free pool. Wed Free darts. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-7pm. 15788 Grand Ave., Lake Elsinore, 951.678.3512. O’LEARY’S IRISH PUB. The luck of the Irish is here, with pool tables, darts, shuffleboard and sports viewing. 142 S. Riverside Dr., Rialto, 909.875.3717. OMOKASE. Happy hour MonFri, 3pm-6pm; Sat, 8pm-close. 8220 Haven Ave. #102, Rancho Cucamonga, 909.941.4111; www. omokase.com. PAPPY & HARRIET’S. Mon Ted Quinn’s Open Mic Night. 7pm. 53688 Pioneertown Rd., Pioneertown, 760.365.5956; www.pappyandharriets.com. PEPE’S MEXICAN & AMERICAN RESTAURANT. Pepe’s has got all the right ingredients for a good time: sizzling hot Mexican dishes, live music and plenty of food and drink specials. You can’t deny the place its dues; the restaurant has been “having fun since 1971!” Every Fri Karaoke. Every Tues Taco Tuesdays. Every Wed MargaRITa Wednesdays. 31780 Railroad Canyon Rd., Canyon Lake, 951.244.7373; pepescanyonlake.com. PEPITO’S. Nothing says authentic Mexican food like a big screen TV and a pool table. But you can actually learn something here—each booth has two pictures that tell a story of Mexican life and history. Happy hour, Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. 6539 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.788.2652. PLAYERS BAR & GRILL. Players plays host to some of the best pool players in the nation before they head off to Vegas for the Nationals. If you think you’ve got game, show up for one of the tournaments. Free pool every day until 7pm. Fri-Sun Karaoke. 9pm. Mon-Fri Drink specials. 5pm7pm. 11001 Central Ave., Ontario, 909.628.8495. RA SUSHI. Check out this great sushi stop, full with unique rolls to satisfying any sushi fan. Happy hour Mon-Sat, 3pm-7pm; Sun, 8pm12pm. 2785 Cabot Dr., Corona, 951.277.7491; www.rasushi.com. 13925 City Center Dr., Chino Hills, 909.902.0044; www.rasushi.com.

RACKS BILLIARDS AND BOURBON. Plenty of bands have been known to play at Racks. Additionally they have live DJs, beer pong, keno, six pool tables, dart boards, a dance floor, smoking room and all new food menu! Pluas, they show every NFL game of five big screens and 20 TVs. 1650 E. Sixth St., Corona, 951.371.9738; facebook.com/ racksbilliardsandbourbon. RED FOX BAR. If you’re looking for a place to have a few drinks and hang out then this joint is perfect. With Thurs College Night, Drink Specials. Sun Free Pool. 10am-6pm. $3 Wells. $2.50 domestic beer. Tues Ladies Night, drink specials. Wed Free Pool. 10pa-6pm. Mon-Fri Drink Specials. 3142 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.882.9337; www. facebook.com/redfoxsb. REVOLUTION RESTAURANT & NIGHT LIFE. Restaurant’s open weekdays, 11am-7pm. Thurs $2 drafts, $5 teas, $4 Captains. Fri Buy two drinks and a meal, get second meal free. Mon $2 Dos Equis, $2 Bud Light, $4 Micheladas. Tues 50 cent tacos, $3 Mexican beers, $4 margaritas. Wed 25 cent wings, $3 bottled beers. Happy Hour: 11am-7pm. 1327 W. Colton Ave., Redlands, 909.335.9700. THE RIVER LOUNGE. Sat Live music. Drink specials all night. $2 shots, $4 wells. 9608 Mission Blvd., Riverside, 951.685.5383. ROB KELLY’S AFTER FIVE COCKTAIL LOUNGE. Kelly’s got the pool, darts and juke to keep you satisfied. Thurs & Tues Karaoke. Wed Ladies night. 133 N. Harvard St., Hemet, 951.652.5300. ROSCOE’S FAMOUS DELI. Every Tues Team Trivia. 8pm. Every Thurs Jukebox Thursday. 9pm. 14700 Pipeline Ave., Chino Hills, 909.597.3304; www.roscoesfamousdeli.com. ROYAL FALCONER BRITISH PUB. There’s the atmosphere: dark décor, long and stately bar and British memorabilia. There’s the food: Scottish eggs, bangers and mash, steak and kidney pie. And then there’s the beer: 20 different beers on tap and another 30 varieties in bottles. Bloody marvelous! Thurs Karaoke. 8pm. Tues LGBT Community & Supporters Night. 9pm. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm6pm. 106 Orange St., Redlands, 909.307.8913; www.royalfalconer.com. RUMORS. A beer and wine bar that proves you can still butcher Elvis songs without shooting tequila first. Fri-Sat Karaoke. 8:30pm. 1125 Calimesa Blvd., Calimesa,

909.795.4808. SADDLE SORE SALOON. Hey cowboy, this place’s one of Norco’s finest drink and dance spots. Happy hour daily, 3pm-6pm. 343 6th St., Norco, 951.272.8283; www.myspace.com/saddlesoresaloon. SCREAMING CHICKEN SALOON. You better be a biker, or at least like them, when you check out this joint. We already give it our “coolest name ever” award. 18169 Cajon Blvd., San Bernardino, 909.880.0056. SHAMROCKS GRILLE & PUB. Feelin’ lucky? Try your Irish on for size over here. Tues, Fri & Sat Live entertainment. Mon Karaoke. Tues Taco Tuesday. Wed Luck of the Irish Drink Specials. 4020B Chino Hills Pkwy., Chino Hills, 909.597.8333; www.myspace. com/shamrocksbar. SIMPLICITEA. Your quaint little tea shop with every bit of relaxing herb drinks you can imagine. Every Sat 2-4-1 Student Night. 6pm-8pm. Excludes Merchandise. 7890 Haven Ave., Suite 11, Rancho Cucamonga, 909.917.8600; www.facebook.com/simplicitea. SKYFOX LOUNGE. You don’t have to drive to Hollywood to get that modern day club vibe, which is exactly the atmosphere that Sky Fox boasts. A short drive to Pomona and you’re living it up with professional DJs and an awesome club experience. Every Thurs Rock it! Awesome 80s, Indie, and Electro music. Every Fri Access Fridays with Hiphop, Mash-ups, Electro. Every Sat Skyfox Saturdays feat. Top 40, Hip-hop, House. Dress Code strictly enforced. 345 Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3674; www.skyfoxpomona.com. THE SPORTSMAN BAR. It’s one of our favorite stops when we’re rollin’ down Temescal Canyon. Knock back a cold one in style! Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm6pm. Smoking patio available. 21779 Temescal Cyn., Corona, 951.277.9786; www.facebook. com/pages/The-SportsmanBar/115557245137996. SPORTSWATCH BAR & GRILL. Any bar with the words “sports” and “watch” in its name is bound to be the go-to place for the communal viewing of American athletics. Paired with weekly deals of pizza and delicious chicken wings, you’ve got everything you need to make each day feel like Super Bowl Sunday. Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 3PM-6PM. Mon-Thurs, 10PM-close. Thurs $3.75 Pint Night, 3PM-8PM. Three for $5 street tacos. Fri Live music. 9PM. Sat .65 cent wings, 11AM-

5PM. Sun Recovery Sundays $4 Bloody Marys, champagne cocktails and michiladas. 27961 Highland Ave. #B, Highland, 909.280.3250; www.sportswatchbarandgrill.com. SUSHI KAWA. Innovative and refreshing rolls are something your tastebuds can’t help but crave. Add a few flat screens to the mix for entertainment value and you’ve got the best sushi bar ever. “Lady Bartenders” are certainly a plus, too. Happy hour: Everyday, 3pm-7pm. Sat Drink specials. $4 Well Drinks, $3 House Wine, $9.95 60oz Beer Pitcher. 469 Magnolia Ave., Ste. 101, Corona, 951.280.0398. TIKI ISLAND. With great events and lots of specials, this new place is top notch. Mon. Monday Night Football, Happy Hour all night, $100 Cash Giveaways after the game. Tues Taco Tuesdays: $1 Tacos, $2 Tiki Shots, $3 Margaritas & Coronas, $ Vodka Monsters. Wed Flip Wednesdays: Heads or Tails for half off . 8pm 10pm. Thurs Sing karaoke and get a free shot. 100 N. Lincoln Ave., Corona, 951.737.0227. TORO SUSHI BAR. Every 2nd Wed Way Back Wednesdays. Hosted by Money B. No cover. 9pm. 1520 N. Mountain Ave., Ontario, 909.983.8676; www.waybackwednesdays.net. VIP CLUB. This gay hot spot is not your grandma’s bar/nightclub. Open 3pm-2am. Call for cover. 18+. Thurs, Sun & Tues Karaoke. 9pm-1am. 3673 Merrill Ave., Riverside, 951.784.2370; www.vipnightclub.com. VIVE TEQUILA LOUNGE AND NIGHTCLUB. If you seek a lounge for Mature guests then this might be what you’ve been searchin’ for. The ultimate meet spot for ladies 21 and older (and men 25 and older according to their site) is the perfect place to grab a uniquely mixed drink and meet someone new. There’s plenty of room for dancing and high ceilings that will make you feel like you’re partying it up somewhere in New York. ThursSun Night Club Dancing. 184 W. Third St. Pomona, 909.622.2020; www.vivelounge.com. WATER WHEEL SALOON. Sun Happy hour all day. Mon Spin the Wheel, $1 Pizza Night and free pool. Tues $1 Taco Tuesday. Karaoke, 6:30pm. Wed $3 domestic beer and wells. Karaoke, 6:30pm. Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 2pm-6pm. 980 6th St., Norco, (951) 898-4630; www.waterwheelnorco.com. THE WOODEN NICKEL. Great jukebox here. Mon Free pool all night. Tues $2.75 tall cans and 75

Soft Sound Loud Loud Sound Soft Thurs, Jan. 2

Art means everything to some people, and music means everything to others. It’s not every day that the two come together and join so harmoniously, but that is the case with Philip Mantione and Glenn Bach. Their performance of sound art entitled Soft Sound Loud Loud Sound Soft comes from two guys that take different approaches to the musical art they create. Mantione is a full-time faculty member at the Art Institute of California in the Inland Empire, where he teaches various courses in audio technology and production. He usually samples very soft sounds, like pins dropping, and then raises their levels so you can listen in detail to an almost inaudible sound. That will be paired with Bach’s music, which typically features loud sounds, like distorted guitars that have been manipulated or drastically reduced in volume so the listener can enjoy every subtle timbre and texture they create. Mantione will also be playing on a custom electronic Aeolian harp that’s traditionally designed to be played by wind, which adds atmosphere. You can be as free as the sounds that shouldn’t be heard together, and get an up close encounter with these unique sounds. Just follow along with the long-term and ever growing project know as Atlas Sets; a concept conceived by Bach that is a “collaborative conversation about musical map-making, contemplative practice, creative community and artistic intention.” (Derek Obregon) IE Riverside Art Museum, 3425 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, (951) 684-7111; www.riversideartmuseum.org. 7pm-8:30pm. Free.

JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar cent tacos. Sun-Mon $2 Wieners. 842 Kendall Dr., San Bernardino, 909.883.4317. WOODY’S BAR & GRILL. Happy Hour Sun-Sat, 5pm-7pm. Fri & Sat Karaoke. 8pm-1am. 1528 W. Holt, Ontario. 909.984.2127. WORTHINGTON’S TAVERN. DJs spin here every night, there’s a full bar with lots of drink specials and a kitchen that stays open late servin’ up some specialty pizzas. Check out some of the live bands and burlesque shows, too. 3587 University Ave., Riverside, 951.779.9169; www.facebook.com/worthingtonstavern. ZIGGI’S BAR. We used to love that Ziggy guy. No, not David Bowie, nor that baldheaded cartoon guy. This place loves to tout its “great neighborhood bar” experience. See it for yourself. Thurs & Sat Pool tournaments. 8471 Cherry Ave., Fontana, 909.829.9904.

dance & djs 135 EAST. Every Fri Vertigo Fridays. Ladies get in free before 11pm. Every Sat DJ LSDanni; DJ Slim. 135 2nd St., Pomona, 909.629.8100; www.135east. com. 340 RESTAURANT & NIGHTCLUB. Every Fri-Sat Go-Go Dancers. Every Sun Open drag contest hosted by Rupaul’s Drag Race All Star Raven, 9:30pm. TIGERHEAT presents LOUD! 340 S. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.865.9340; www.340nightclub.com. ACE HOTEL. Every Fri DJ Sodality; Wildcat. 10pm. Every Sat DJ Odysey. 10pm. 701 E Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.325.9900; www.acehotel. com/palmsprings. ALIBI EAST. Every Thurs Club 3-4-5. $6 cover, free before 9pm. Every Fri Slammed and Sexy Fridays. 9pm. Every Sat Sinful Saturdays. 9pm. 225 S. San Antonio Ave., Pomona, 909.623.9422; www.alibieast.com. AGUA CALIENTE CASINO. Every Fri-Sat DJ Dynamic Dave. 9pm. 32-250 Bob Hope Dr., Rancho Mirage, 888.999.1995; www.hotwatercasino.com. ALOFT ONTARIO-RANCHO CUCAMONGA. Every Fri DJ Severe. 8pm. Every Mon-Wed Twilight. 5pm-7pm. Every Wed Uncorked and Unplugged.7pm. 10480 4th St., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.484.2018; www.aloftontariorc.com. CANTON BISTRO. Every Fri

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Friday Night Heat. Top 40/remixes. Sat Social Saturdays. 21+. Electro/’80s/club mix. 10pm-2am. 9980 Alabama St., Redlands, 909.335.6688; www.myspace. com/cantonbistro; www.cantonbistro.com. CHAPARRAL LIVE ROOM. Every Wed Strike Lounge DJ Mic Pro; guest DJs. 10pm. 400 W. Bonita Ave., San Dimas, 909.592.2772; www.chaparralliveroom.com. CHARACTERS. Every Thurs Vinyl Thursdays feat. AWOL-One; Roach; Gonzo. 9pm. 276 E. 1st St., Pomona, 909.622.9070; www. characterspomona.com. CITRUS CITY GRILLE. Every Sat Pulse Lounge feat. DJ ER. Top 40. Drink specials. 10pm. 2765 Lakeshore Dr., Corona, 951.277.2888; www.citruscitygrille.com. CORNER POCKET. Every Thurs Kaos Thursdays. Electronic. House. Top 40. 9pm. 40575 California Oaks Rd. #D1, Murrieta, 951.677.7155; www.myspace. com/cornerpocketmurrieta. COYOTE LOUNGE. Every Thurs Hip Hop Live. $10 before 10pm. $15 afterwards. 21+. Pomona Valley Mining Co., 1777 Gillette Rd., Pomona, 909.623.3515; www.facebook.com/Lounge. Coyote. DBA256 GALLERY WINE BAR. Every Sat DJ’s JB, Mike Styles, Gabe Real, Stryk One. 9pm. Every Mon, Tues, Wed and Fri Happy hour. 4pm-6pm. Every Tues Open Mic Night. 256 S. Main St., Pomona, 909.623.7600; www.dba256. com. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. Every 1st Fri ’80s Discoteque feat. DJ Eser; Rock en Espanol, New Wave & KROQ FlashBacks feat. DJ Eser & DJ Lonz. Every Mon DJ Lonz mixing hip hop, house, techno and top ’40s. Every Wed Wet Wednesday feat. DJ Lonz. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www. empireloungeandnightclub. com. 21+. FANTASY SPRINGS RESORT CASINO. Every Fri and Sat Live Dance Bands. 9pm. 84-245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 900.827.2946; www. fantasyspringsresort.com. FOX BAR & GRILL. Thurs-Sat Live DJs. 333 S. Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3671. GOODFELLAS. Happy hour: 4pm7pm. Every Wed-Sat Club Image with DJ CrazyGabe, DJ Jon Jon and DJ Effects. Every Sun Club Decades SIN Sundays. Drink

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

specials. Music videos.DJ Johnny Holmez. 8034 Haven Ave., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.987.3005; www.myspace.com/goodfellasclub. IMAGINE THAT. Every Sat Celebrity Saturdays. Live R&B and jazz bands and DJs with oldschool R&B. 8pm. $10 before 10pm. 965 Foothill Blvd., Upland, 951.833.6606, 909.264.1752. J. DEE’S LANDING. Every Thurs DJs. 340 N. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.320.1758. KEALOHA’S TASTE OF THE ISLANDS. Every Fri -Sat Classic Rock and R&B from the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s. 9pm-close. 12206 Central Ave., Chino, 909.590.0604; www.kealohas.com. KICKS SPORTS PUB. Every Fri-Sat DJ. 9pm-1:45am. 16788 Arrow Blvd., Fontana, 909.350.1160. KILLARNEY’S PUB AND GRILL, TEMECULA. Every Tues DJ Twy; DJ Krim. 10pm. Every Fri DJ Krim. 10pm. Sat DJ Omry. 10pm. 32475 Highway 79 South G101, Temecula, 951.302.8338; www.killarneys.com. KILLARNEY’S PUB AND GRILL, RIVERSIDE. Every Tues College Night. DJ Twy and DJ Krim. Every Fri DJ Krim. 10pm. Every Sat Guest DJ. 10pm. 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr. Ste 532, Riverside, 951.682.2933; www.killarneys.com. MARGARITA BEACH. Every Tues Tilt Tuesdays. Every Thurs College Night. 50 cent drafts 8pm-10pm. $2 U-Call-It shots all night. Every Fri $1 Drink Fridays. Every Sat 99.1 Saturdays. 1987 S. Diners Ct., San Bernardino, 909.890.9993; www.facebook.com/MargaritaBeach. MARIO’S PLACE. Every ThursSat V26. DJs spin ‘80s and ‘90s alternative and classic rock. 9pm. 3646 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7755; www.mariosplace. com. MEDITERRANEAN PALACE. Every Fri-Sat The Palace feat. DJ Assault. 9pm-2am. 1223 University Ave. #130, 951.781.8900, 951.525.2561; www.mpgrillandcafe.com. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Every Mon Liquid Lounge with DJ Salazam, trip hop/downtempo. 9pm. Every Tues Tall Can Tuesdays with Wido & Bane. and ADSR events. $5 tall cans, $3 well drinks. 9pm. Every Thurs F.A.T. Thursdays with DJ Nasty Nativ TOP 40/hip-hop. $3 well drinks and domestics, $4 calls and imports, $5 long islands and AMFs. 9pm. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www. missiontobaccolounge.com. OKAWA SUSHI LOUNGE. Every Fri DJs spin hip-hop, R&B, old school. Drink specials & sushi

served all night. 9:30pm. 8158 Day Creek Blvd., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.646.7658. PECHANGA RESORT & CASINO. Every Fri DJ Rico. 9pm. $20. 21+. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.770.7455; www.silkatpechanga.com. PEPE’S MEXICAN & AMERICAN RESTAURANT. Every Fri Live DJs. 31780 Railroad Canyon Rd., Canyon Lake, 951.244.7373; pepescanyonlake.com. PEPITO’S. Every Fri Club Jam Generator. Mod/soul/Brit-pop. Free before 10:30pm, $5 after. Every Sat Club Skandal. 18+. 6539 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.788.2652; www.myspace. com/pepitoscantina. RED FOX BAR. Every Thurs College Night with DJ Frog. 9pm. Every Fri-Sat DJ Vasco. 9pm. Every Tues Ladies Night. 3142 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.882. 9337; www.facebook.com/redfoxsb. REVOLUTION RESTAURANT & NIGHT LIFE. Every Fri Club EVO. Hip-hop, R&B, techno, mash-ups, Top 40. Every Sat Team Fresh. Hip-hop/R&B. 1327 W. Colton Ave., Redlands, 909.335.9700; www.revolutionnight.com. RIVERSIDE PLAZA. Every Fri DJ Jon Smooth; Guest DJs. 7pm. 3545 Central Ave., Riverside, 951.683.1066; www.shopriversideplaza.com. ROSCOE’S FAMOUS DELI. Every Thurs DJ K. Ush. 10pm. 14700 Pipeline Ave., Chino Hills, 909.597.3304; www.roscoesfamousdeli.com. ROYAL FALCONER BRITISH PUB. Every Thurs Rollicking Good Fun. DJs. $2 drafts, $2 shots, $3 wells. 9pm. Every Sat Back to the ‘80s Night. ‘80s music. 106 Orange St., Redlands, 909.307.8913; www.royalfalconer.com. SAN MANUEL INDIAN BINGO AND CASINO. Every Thurs DJ Orbitz at the Pines. 10pm. Every Fri DJ Victor at the Pines. 10pm. Every Sat DJ Hi-tone at the Pines, Top 40. 10pm. 777 San Manuel Blvd., Highland, 800.359.2464; www.sanmanuel.com. Shows: 21+. SKYFOX LOUNGE. Every Thurs Rock it! Awesome 80s, Indie, and Electro music. Every Fri Access Fridays with Hip-hop, Mash-ups, Electro. Every Sat Skyfox Saturdays feat. Top 40, Hip-hop, House. Dress Code strictly enforced. 21+. 345 Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3674; www. skyfoxpomona.com. STINGERS NIGHTCLUB. Every Friday Xotik Fridays brings you the Top 40, Hip-Hop and Mash ups. $2 Domestic Beer, $3 Import Beer and U-Call-Its Unitl 11pm. $5 Jagerbombs & LA Waters All

Night. 194 W. Club Center Dr., San Bernardino, 909.475.7979. SPORTSWATCH BAR & GRILL. Every Sat Videopolis DJ’s Music and Videos. 9PM. 27961 Highland Ave. #B, Highland, 909.280.3250; www.sportswatchbarandgrill.com. SPOTLIGHT 29 CASINO. Every Thurs Throwback Thursday Dance Party where DJ Pee Wee spins favorites of all genres. 26-200 Harrison Pl., Coachella, 760.775.5566; www.spotlight29. com. TAP DADDY’S. Every Fri-Sat DJs. 2505 S. San Jacinto Ave., San Jacinto, 951.652.5686; www. myspace.com/tapdaddysbar. TORO SUSHI. Every Sat DJ Primal. 9pm. 1520 N. Mountain Ave., Ontario, 909.983.8676; www. waybackwednesdays.net. TREVI ENTERTAINMENT CENTER. Every Thurs Club Illusion & The Playground. Hip-hop/ funk/house/old school. Every Fri College Night Fridays. DJs. 32250 Mission Trl., Lake Elsinore, 951.674.6080; www.myspace. com/trevinightlife. THE VAULT MARTINI BAR. Every Thurs DJ Darcie. Every Fri DJ Jose V. 20 E. Vine St., Redlands, 909.798.2399. THE VIBE. Every Thurs Club Skittles. Hip-hop. Every Sat Club 7. Every Sun Sin Sunday. Every Tues $2 Totally ‘80s Tuesdays. $2 drink specials. 8pm. Every Wed Logikal Wednesdays. 1805 University Ave., Riverside, 951.788.0310; www.myspace.com/thevibebarandgrill. VIP CLUB. Every Wed Dancing with DJ Darcie. 8pm. Thurs-Fri DJ Julie. 9pm. Sat DJ Darcie. 7:45pm. 21+. (Ages 18-20) $5 with free non-alcoholic drink ticket.) 9pm. 3673 Merrill Ave., Riverside, 951.784.2370; www.vip-nightclub.com.

theatre DARLING YOU SLAY ME. The Gourmet Detective is a comical, musical, murder mystery dinner show theater. Come laugh, witness a crime and help solve the mystery. Your waiters, cocktail servers, and even the piano player will be suspect. Every Fri & Sat. The Avila Terrace Theatre, 3663 Main St., Riverside, www. avilaterrace.com. THE DINNER DETECTIVE. If you’ve always felt like you’d make a great Sherlock Homes, then head over to The Dinner Detective. You can help solve a funny murder case while enjoying a four-course plated dinner. Eat with caution, because anyone at your table could be the killer!

Every Sat. The Doubletree by Hilton, 222 N. Vineyard Ave., Ontario, 909.937.0900. www.thedinnerdetective.com/sites/ontario.

performing arts THE AUREAU VISTA GRAND BALLROOM. Sat Groove Night. 6pm7pm. 3840 Lemon St., Riverside, 800.870.6069. BRANDIN’ IRON. Every ThursSun Dance Lessons. 7:30pm. 320 S. E St., San Bernardino, 909.888.7388; www.brandinironsaloon.com. CAFÉ SEVILLA. Every Fri The Art of Flamenco Dinner Show. 6:30pm. Every Sat Gypsy Fusion Dinner Show. 7:30pm. 3252 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.778.0611; www.cafesevilla.com. THE COLONY AT LOFT 204. Every Tues Beginning Belly Dance. 7pm-8pm. $10. Every Wed Intermediate Belly Dance. 7pm-8pm. $10. 532 W. First St., #204, Claremont Packing House, www.loft204. com. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. Every Thurs Salsa and Cumbia Night. 9pm-2am. Every Sun Soul Line Dancing. 5pm-7pm. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www.empireloungeandnightclub.com. 21+. MAVERICK SALOON. Every Fri Western Dance Lessons with LeeAnne. 6:45pm. 3841 Old Hamner, Norco, 951.734.6640; www. mavericksaloonnorco.com. MCCALLUM THEATRE. Sat – Sat, Nov. 16. International Dance Festival. 73000 Fred Waring Dr., Palm Desert, 760.340.2787; www. mccallumtheatre.com. MORONGO CASINO RESORT & SPA. Every Thurs-Sat CopyKatz Celebrity Revue. 8pm. Every Sun CopyKatz Celebrity Revue. 2pm. 49500 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.252.4499; www.morongocasinoresort.com. TEQUIHUA FOUNDATION. Every Thurs The Telling by Koyote the Blind. 7:30pm. 3485 University Ave., Riverside, 951.686.3471; www.tequihuafoundation.org. TOM’S FARMS. Every Sat-Sun Anthony the Magic. 12pm & 2pm. 23900 Temescal Canyon Rd., Corona, 951.277.4422; www. tomsfarms.com. WATER WHEEL SALOON. Every Thurs Line Dancing Lessons. 7pm. 980 6th St., Norco, (951) 8984630; www.waterwheelnorco. com.

The Palm Springs International Film Festival and Awards Gala Fri, Jan. 3-13 Celebrate the coziness of winter by getting your cinematic fill of indie and foreign flicks this week—the Palm Springs International Film Festival (PSIFF) is back, and this year marks the festival’s 25th anniversary. The festival kicks off Jan. 3 on fifteen screens throughout Palms Springs, showing featured films by some of the most revered filmmakers in the industry, as well as films by more than 50 new directors. This year’s festival is featuring many categories, including The New Voices/New Visions showcase, which is a collection of 12 remarkable first feature films by up-andcoming new directors. Their fresh visions and creative minds are a refreshing compliment to the Modern Masters program, which offers a range of works from critically acclaimed professionals in the field. The majority of the films featured go on to be submitted to the Best Foreign Language Film category for the Academy Awards. There will all so be a myriad of American indie films and documentaries to enjoy. On Jan. 4 the PSIFF will host its Award Gala—this star-studded black tie event is where the best in film, directing, acting, lifetime achievement and more will be honored. Some of last year’s honorees were Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Helen Hunt and Naomi Watts. It would not be the winter season without catching a few foreign indie films, and this event is perfect for any film fanatic this winter. (Dulce Balandran) IE Various Theaters in Palm Springs, (760) 322-2930; www.psfilmfest.org. 9am.

comedy COMEDY STREET. Every Wed Comedy Show hosted by Adee. 8pm. 1353 6th St., Corona. FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB. Thurs, Jan. 2 First Time Funnies Pro/ JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar Am. 8pm. Fri -Sat Jackie Kashian. Fri, 8pm & 10pm. Sat, 7pm & 9:30pm. Sun Silly Sundays Open Mic. 9pm. W 1st St., Unit 218, Claremont, 818.845.9721; www.flapperscomedy.com. LIAM’S IRISH PUB. Every Tues Comedy Show hosted by Rick Rome & Just Mikey. 9:30pm. 1087 S. Mount Vernon Ave., Colton, 909.422.9900; www. myspace.com/liamscomedynight. THE MENAGERIE. Every 1st & 3rd Sun The New Legends of Comedy. 8pm. 3581 University Ave., Riverside, 951.788.8000; www. myspace.com/club_menagerie. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Every Sun Everybody Laffs Comedy Night. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www. missiontobaccolounge.com. ONTARIO IMPROV. Thurs, Jan. 2-Sun. Felipe Esparza. Thurs, 8pm. Fri, 8pm & 10:15pm. Sat, 7pm, 9:15pm.. Sun, 7pm . Tues Eddie Jarvis & Friends. 8pm. Wed Daniel Eachus Presents “Hashtag Funny.” 8pm. 4555 Mills Cir., Ontario, 909.484.5411; ontario. improv.com. PECHANGA RESORT AND CASINO. Fri-Sat Dave Burleigh. 7:30pm & 9:30pm. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.693.1819; www. pechanga.com/comedyclub. ROMANO’S. Every Thurs Free comedy. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., Riverside, 951.781.7662; www. theconcertlounge.com.

sports CHAFFEY COLLEGE BASEBALL CAMP. Registration Under Way Now, Starts Sun, Jan. 5. Classes are available for players in grades 1-12 and are limited to six

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players per coach. Sign up now to get the best coaching in advanced hitting, pitching, catching, fielding and baserunning. Chaffey College, 866.622.4487; www.usbaseballacademy.com. CITRUS VALLEY HIGH SCHOOL BASEBALL CAMP. Registration Under Way Now, Starts Sat, Jan. 11. Classes are available for players in grades 1-12 and are limited to six players per coach. Sign up now to get the best coaching in advanced hitting, pitching, catching, fielding and baserunning. Citrus Valley High School, 866.622.4487; www. usbaseballacademy.com. ONTARIO FURY SOCCER GAME. Sat, Jan. 4 Get ready to enjoy another successful game of the season as Ontario Fury takes on the losing team. Citizens Business Bank Arena, 4000 E. Ontario Center Pkwy., Ontario, 909.244.5500; www.cbbankarena.com. ONTARIO REIGN VS. SAN FRANCISCO. Sun, Jan. 5. Hockey is fun for a number of reasons— the competitiveness, the aggression and the athleticism are all great reasons to catch local team Ontario Reign as they clobber San Francisco. Citizens Business Bank Arena, 4000 E. Ontario Center Pkwy., Ontario, 909.244.5500; www.cbbankarena.com. PLANES OF FAME AIR MUSEUM. Sat, Jan. 4. Come by the Planes of Fame Air Museum to check out Aviation in the Movies featuring the Curtiss P-40N Warhawk. Planes of Fame Air Museum, 7000 Merrill Ave., #17, Chino, 909.597.3722; www. planesoffame.org.

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BACK TO THE GRIND. Every Fourth Thurs Floasis. 8pm-11pm. $3. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Wed Children’s story time. 11am. 5183 Montclair Plaza Ln., Montclair, 909.399.1966. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Thurs Children’s preschool story time. 11am. 11090 E. Foothill Blvd., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.980.5586. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Thurs Children’s story time. 7pm. 2470 Tuscany St. #101, Corona, 951.735.0038. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Thurs Book Group. 7pm. Every Mon Children’s preschool story time. 10am. 3485 Tyler St., Riverside, 951.358.0899. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Sat Saturday Storytime. 11am. Every Tues Pre-school story time. 10am. 27460 Lugonia Ave., Redlands, 909.793.4322. BACK TO THE GRIND. Every Mon R.U.P.O. poetry in the basement. 9pm. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800; www.back2thegrind.com. CLAREMONT FORUM. Mon-Fri Package and prepare books for prisoners in the Prison Library Project. 10am-5pm. Every 2nd Tues Inland Valley Storytellers. Bring an 8-10 minute story to share or just listen. This gathering is for beginners and experienced storytellers alike. 7:30pm. Free (donations accepted). Every Mon Writer’s Workshop. Writing critiques. 6:30pm. 586 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.626.3066; www. claremontforum.org or www. inlandstorytellers.org. CLAREMONT PUBLIC LIBRARY. Every Fri & Sat Preschool storytime. 11:30am. Every Wed Toddler story time. 10am. 208 N. Harvard Ave., Claremont, 909.621.4902; www. colapublib.org/libs/claremont. HOWARD M. ROWE BRANCH LIBRARY. Every Thurs Storytime. 10:30am. 108 E. Marshall Blvd., San Bernardino, 909.883.3411. LIONLIKE MINDSTATE MOSAIC. Every 1st & 3rd Wed Open Mic. 9pm. $4. 5540 Schaefer Ave., Chino; www.lionlikemindstate. com. PLUM HOUSE COFFEE CLUB. Every Wed, Fri & Sat Art Walk & Open Mic. 7pm-11pm. 3882 12th St., Riverside, 951.784.1369; www. myspace.com/theplumhouse. RIVERSIDE PUBLIC LIBRARY. Every Mon Story time. 10:30am. Every Tues Toddler’s story time. 11:15am. Preschool story time. 10:30am. Every Wed Family story time. 10:30am. Story times, tales and tunes. 3:30pm. 3581 Mission

Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.826.5201; www.rivlib.net. SAN BERNARDINO PUBLIC LIBRARY. Every Tues & Thurs Pre-school story time. 10:30am. Feldheym Central Library, 555 W. 6th St., San Bernardino, 909.381.8201; www.sbpl.org.

cal league basball ARTISTS ON “A” STREET. No, it’s not artists on just a street, but a group of terrific visual talents displaying their wonderful creations for all to see in gorgeous downtown Upland. Sponsored by Cooper Regional History Museum, Cigar Exchange/Pacific Wine Merchants. Every last Sat, 11am-4pm. 2nd Ave. & A St., Upland. Info: 909.946.6782, 909.985.8685. ART WORKS GALLERY. This gallery is the go-to spot for expanding your artistic horizons. Every week classes are offered, varying from watercolor, wire sculptures, fused glass frames and many more outlets of artistry. Classes occur weekly. 3741 6th St., Riverside, 951.683.1279; www. jtpfriends.org/blog/art-worksgallery. BACK TO THE GRIND. T.A.P. Into the Artist. Once a month, Back to the Grind gives tattoo artists a place to show off all sorts of art, whether it’s art-on-skin, sculptures or paintings. Sure there are plenty of galleries but these artists banded together to create a space where they can present their personal artistic endeavors. Every First Thurs. 6pm-1am. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800; www. back2thegrind.com. CABOT’S PUEBLO MUSEUM. Come and learn about the story of Cabot Yerxa and his massive hand-built pueblo (on which he spent nearly a quarter-century building) at this museum, which is also home to a 43-foot tall Indian monument, carved out of a Sequoia Redwood that’s over 700 years old, better known as “Waokiye.” (It’s just one of 60 such sculptures in a series.) Open Tues-Sun, 9am-1pm. 616 E. Desert View Ave., Desert Hot Springs, 760.329.7610; www. cabotsmuseum.org. THE CENTER FOR WATER EDUCATION. A world-class museum and learning institution which depicts the past, present and future story of water, from its importance in SoCal, to its impact worldwide. 2325 Searl Pkwy., Hemet, 951.791.0990. CHAFFEY COMMUNITY MUSEUM OF ART. Ladies of the Museum. The feminine touch holds an

important role in art of all kind, and that’s why the museum is celebrating all things woman by displaying various works from the female perspective. Thru Jan. 14. Salute! This annual reception features a variety of multimedia works submitted by members of the museum, all relevant to the theme Salute! Thru Jan. 26. 217 S. Lemon Ave., Ontario, 909.463.3733; www.ccaamuseum.org. CLAREMONT LINCOLN SCHOOL OF THEOLOGY. Sikh Art Exhibit. Featuring pieces from the Smithsonian, this Sikh art exhibit is full of musical instruments, clothing, swords, paintings and needlework. Thru May 2014. 1325 N. College Ave., Claremont, 714.423.9753; www.claremontlincoln.org. CULVER CENTER AT UCR ARTSBLOCK. Ultraviolet: Light Installation. Presented in conjunction with the Festival of Lights in City of Riverside, this exhibit by Hiromi Takizawa observes the role of light in architectural and environmental spaces. Thru Jan. 4, 2014. SENTRY. These large scale drawings by Joe Biel are unique to the Culver Center’s wall. Come check them out while you can—you won’t see this work anywhere else. Thru March 22. 3824 Main St., Riverside, 951.827.4787; artsblock.ucr.edu. FERGUSON FINE ARTS AND DESIGN. A plethora of pictures, paintings and posters specializing in pin-up pieces. Be sure to check out the 2nd Sat Art Walk, 3pm-10pm. 181 W. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.620.7488; www.ffadgallery.com. FIRST STREET GALLERY. Glimpse of a Street View & The Holiday Show. Joe Zaldivar’s work will fill the front gallery. His paintings and drawings are his representations from of places he’s seen using Google Maps. Thru Feb. 14. 250 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.626.5455; www.1ststreetgallery.org. GALLERY SOHO. Black and White. Local artists bring together multimedia of art that fits within the category of “Black and White.” Come see the different interpretations of this broad topic. Opens Sun, Jan. 5. Thru Jan. 31. 300 A So. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.469.1599; www. pvaa.net. MUSEUM OF HISTORY AND ART, ONTARIO. Gem of the Foothills. Learn about the history of Ontario and why it has been called “The Gem of the Foothills” and “The Model Colony.” The museum’s collection of historic images will be on display here,

for the first time ever. Ongoing. Road Ways. Road signs haven’t really changed much; red signs mean stop and yellow means yield. But the open road holds many memories for all sorts of roadies. Here you can appreciate the signs that transport you to a different decade, and with it take a “trip” through local highway signs and beyond. Ongoing. 225 S. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.3198; www.ci.ontario. ca.us/index.aspx?page=455. PALM SPRINGS ART MUSEUM. Personalities and Identity in Photography and New Media. This exhibit features the power photography has had for over 100 years, as well as the representational qualities of new media in our modern age. Thru Jan. 31. Richard Diebenkorn The Berkeley Years, 1953-1966. Coined one of California’s finest 20th century artists, his work that explores the vivid and abstract landscapes of the Bay Area are guaranteed to be phenomenal. Thru Feb. 16. Ancient & Modern: Selections from the Permanent Collection. Turning to the past to get inspiration for the future of their artistic heritage—that’s what artists Gunther Gerzo, Rufino Tamayo and Carlos Merida have done, merging the concepts of their lineage with a decidedly modern bend. Ongoing. 101 Museum Dr., Palm Springs, 760.322.4800; www.psmuseum. org. RIVERSIDE ART MUSEUM. What’s “52” Got to Do With It? This is a personal story about the growth and fulfillment of Sue Mitchell’s life journey. She was born in ’52, has 52 favorite trees and just finished a 52 week art sabbatical. Thru Dec. 31.Women Who Ride Photographer Lanakila MacNaughton from Portland demonstrates the modern female motorcycles who belong in the driver’s seat—these ladies are not about to tag along behind a boyfriend on his motorcycle. Thru March 16. The Riverside Legacy. This select group features plein air paintings and drawings from the museum’s permanent collection. Thru March 30. 3425 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7111; www. riversideartmuseum.org. RIVERSIDE CITY HALL. Please contact Buna Dorr for appointment. Mayor’s Ceremonial Room Exhibit. A bimonthly rotating art exhibit featuring two-dimensional works by Riverside County artists. Call for schedule. 3900 Main St., Riverside, 951.680.1345; www. inlandarts.com. RIVERSIDE METROPOLITAN MUSE-

UM. John Muir and the Personal Experience of Nature. John Muir was a wilderness guy. Like a classic example of a frontiersman in America as expansionism had run its course, Muir grew to document and love the natural wildlife of various United States areas. The gallery focuses on special pieces from a traveling exhibit “Nature’s Beloved Son: Rediscovering John Muir’s Botanical Legacy” from various renowned sources. Thru Jan. 19, 2014. Telling Riverside’s Story in 50 Objects. With Riverside’s extensive history there’s bound to be something unique to learn. For a single night, view 50 different objects that represent or document Riverside’s past, from mammoth molars to stage coach foot warmers. Thru January 4, 2015. Riverside Metropolitan Museum, 3580 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside. Arts Walk. Held the 1st Thurs of every month. Tour the museum’s current exhibitions and view the performers. Each month is different. Walking Tours of Historic Downtown Riverside. Join the RMM for a docentlead tour of historic downtown. Every Sat, 2pm. $5; children 12 and under, free. Call for reservations. 3580 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.826.5273; www. riversideca.gov/museum. ROBERT & FRANCES FULLERTON MUSEUM OF ART. Music to My Eyes. Artist and designer David Edward Byrd has used a mix of different media to create music poster art over the years. Thru Feb. 13. California State University San Bernardino, 5500 University Pkwy., San Bernardino, 909.537.7373; raffma.csusb.edu. SAM AND ALFREDA MALOOF FOUNDATION FOR ARTS AND CRAFTS. In Words and Wood. Curator Jason T. Butsch, Carnegie Museum of Art. This exhibition features the works of Bob Stocksdale and Ed Moulthrop. It’s a collection of woodturnings inspired by the curator and including the renown of gallery owner Sam Maloof, this grouping of amazing wooden pieces tells a story of the woodturning field. Every Thurs and Sat. 1, 2 and 3pm. Plein Air Painting in the Garden. Take a relaxing day off and watch talented artists set up shop in the Maloof Foundation garden where they will paint the gorgeous subject matter in its natural area. Every Thurs and Sat. 12pm-4pm. Maloof Foundation for the Arts and Crafts, 5131 Carnelian St., Alta Loma, 909.980.0412; www.malooffoundation.org. SAN BERNARDINO COUNTY MU-

SEUM. Portraits and Views. This exhibit will take you back to before smart phones allowed you to document every moment of you life instantaneously—back to the portraiture between 1897 and 1924. Thru July 15. Crossroads Gallery, 2024 Orange Tree Ln., Redlands, 909.307.2669; www.sbcountymuseum.org. UCR/CALIFORNIA MUSEUM OF PHOTOGRAPHY. More American Photographs. The Great Depression was a trying time for Americans during the early years of the 20th century, and gazing at photographs in this collection that focus on the recovery from this time is reminiscent of the current economic situation Americans still face. Thru Jan. 11, 2014. 3824 Main St., Riverside, 951.784.3686; www.cmp. ucr.edu. WALLY PARKS NHRA MOTORSPORTS MUSEUM. Mooneyes. Car fans no doubt know about the history of classic cars and the people who engineered them. The NHRA is recognizing the great accomplishments and influence that Dean Moon has had on the automotive industry from his humble beginnings with dragsters to the use of his own shop to make the very first Shelby Cobra. A few of the famous Mooneye race cars will be available on display to showcase his ingenuity and unique insight to what a car should look like. Thru Jan. Presented by the Automobile Club of Southern California, the NHRA Museum celebrates the impact of motorsports on our culture. They collect, preserve, exhibit and interpret vehicles, autorelated stories and artifacts that represent our affection for, and the influence of, automotive speed and style in all its forms. Learn about hot rods, customs, racecars and speed records, as well as the West Coast’s role as the historic center for these cars’ past and present development. Prolong Twilight Cruise Night. Come and check out hundreds of classic hot rods, customs, and muscle cars as the Cruise Night brings out some of the finest street machinery in the area. In addition to these hot wheels, there’s a raffle, food (for purchase), museum exhibits and best of all, admission is free. Every First Wed, 4pm-8pm. Fairplex, 1101 W. McKinley Ave., Fairplex Gate 1, Pomona, 909.622.2133; www.museum.nhra.com. THE WIRE. Check out the local art exhibit every Thurs from 7pm9pm. 247 N. 2nd Ave., Upland; www.thewire247.com.

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calendar community announcements COUNTING WAYWARD SHEEP. This collaboration of poems from Riverside and San Bernardino focuses on the people and places that make these cities what they are. Thurs, Jan. 2. Riverside Public Library, 3581 Mission Inn Ave., Riversdie, 951.790.2458. FAMILY MOVIE NIGHTS. There’s nothing like cuddling up with the family for a free movie screening. Every Thurs. Steelworker’s Auditorium, 8437 Sierra Ave., Fontana, 909.574.4500. THE GALEN NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION 5K. Get ready to run your 2013 away, by keeping to your New Year’s Resolution. This 5K will be the perfect way to start your New Year to a healthier you strong. Sat, Jan. 4. The Palm Springs Art Museum parking are at Painter’s Pass, 72567 Highway 111, El Paseo, 760.773.1707; www.galenresolution5k.com. HOLIDAY DISCOVERY CAMP. Each day is a different exciting journey at Holiday Discovery Camp, giving children something fun to do while they’re on winter break. Thru Jan. 3. Children’s Discovery Museum of the Desert, 71-701 Gerald Ford Dr., Rancho Mirage, 760.321.0602; www.cdmod.org. PARK AFTER DARK. The Living Desert gives you a chance to see the park like you’ve never seen it before—during the nighttime. When the sun goes down, you’ll be able to welcome some of the park’s nocturnal friends. Select Fridays Thru March 7. The Living Desert, 47900 Portola Ave., Palm Desert, 760.346.5694; www. livingdesert.org. NATURE WALKS. This quick 30 minute walk around the forest grounds led by a Discovery Center Naturalist will give you just enough time to really connect with nature. Every Sat & Sun Big Bear Discover Center, 40971 North Shore Dr., Big Bear Lake, 909.866.3437; www.sbnfa.org. PALM SPRINGS INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL. Fri, Jan 3-13. Don’t miss the 25th anniversary for the Palm Springs International Film Festival, with a load of films that are up for Best Foreign Language category for the Academy Awards. You know these documentaries and international features are going to

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be amazing cinematic pieces. Various Theatres throughout Palm Springs, 760.322.2930; www.psfilmfest.org. PALM SPRINGS OPEN AIR MARKET. The grand opening for this open air market will have vendors of all types for your shopping needs. Every Sat. thru April. The Spa Resort Casino, Downtown Palm Springs, 760.534.7968; www.palmspringsopenmarket. com.

lectures & politics CENTER FOR COMMUNITY ACTION AND ENVIRONMENTAL JUSTICE (CCAEJ). There are people who want change, and then there are people who make change happen. Disgusted and frustrated that Riverside County officials continue to place warehouses, rail-yards and other diesel sources next to homes and schools, and allow new homes to be built next to the same type of facilities, CCAEJ took action by placing a billboard along Highway 60 at the entrance to Riverside County. Check out the CCAEJ Website and educate yourself about the health conditions in your area. PO BOX 33124, Jurupa Valley, 951.360.8451 or admin@ccaej. org; www.ccaej.org. COMMISSION OF DISABILITIES. Every 2nd Mon Every group needs a committee; one that is dedicated to the well being of the group. In this case the Commission of Disabilities in Riverside is passionate in promoting awareness of both the group’s presence at Riverside City Hall as well as awareness of disabled people everywhere. The following quote, “The mission of the Commission of Disabilities is- to promote greater awareness of, respect for and total participation of individuals into all aspects of life” is the motto and goal of group’s support of disabled people in the Riverside community. It’s placement in the Riverside County City Council allows them to keep a close eye on programs and policies in process especially concerning housing, employment and transportation. 6pm. Riverside City Hall, 5th Floor, 3900 Main St., Riverside, 951.826.5427; www.riversideca. gov/cod. DEMOCRATIC LUNCHEON CLUB. Every Fri The Democratic Luncheon Club was formed in the

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’30s and was reorganized as a chartered Democratic Club in 1993. Their popular, hourlong luncheons are a forum for progressive ideas and feature distinguished speakers such as U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer. These members have fire in their bellies—in 2002 they got off their duffs and personally registered more than 240 Democrats. Politics and food go together so well. 12pm. Democratic Headquarters, 136 Carousel Mall (lower level, near the central glass elevator), San Bernardino, 909.882.5819 or mrkalvarez@aol. com; www.sbdems.com. DEMOCRATS OF GREATER RIVERSIDE. We didn’t believe it either—Riverside and Democrats? They always have something going on. Every 3rd Thurs General meeting, 7pm. Mexicali Grill, 1690 Spruce St., Riverside, 951.781.6682 or info@riversidedemocrats.org; www.riversidedemocrats.org. FOOD NOT BOMBS. Meets weekly at various locations. Protesting militarism and poverty by serving free vegetarian food to people in need, and in support of ongoing political organizing efforts. FNB believes that by giving away free food to people in need in public spaces, they directly dramatize the level of hunger in this country and the surplus of food being wasted. They also call attention to the failure of society to support those within it—choosing instead to fund the forces of war and violence. They are committed to the use of nonviolent direct action to change society. Thousands of meals are served each week by FNB groups in North America and Europe. Info: foodnotbombs909@yahoo.com; www.foodnotbombs.net. FRIDAY MORNING CLUB. Every Fri Come and listen to speakers, discuss Riverside Council Agenda items and other areas of concern to the city’s residents. Free and open to the public, with free parking, too. 10am. Janet Goeske Senior/Disabled Center, 5257 Sierra St., Riverside, 951.351.8800; fridaymorningclub@yahoo.com; www.janetgoeskecenter.com. INLAND COUNTIES STONEWALL DEMOCRATS. Chartered Democratic club working within the Democratic Party to represent the LGBT—Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender—members of the community and their friends and supporters. They are proud members of the National Stonewall Democrats, who have the motto, “Pride in Our County;

Pride in Our Party; Pride in Our Families.” PO BOX 9642, Redlands, 909.556.6818. INLAND EMPIRE DEBATING SOCIETY. “Debate is the heart of liberty.” So reads the I.E. Debating Society’s website. This nonprofit, non-partisan organization was developed in order to provide the citizens of the IE with accurate, thoroughly researched debates on all issues of the day, in order to stimulate more voter participation and—imagine this!—a more enlightened electorate. Members represent all sectors of life, including high school and college students, teachers, professors, lawyers, business folk, parents and retirees. Info: 909.887.4894, 909.825.7800; www.inlanddebates.com. INLAND EMPIRE FREETHINKERS. Every 1st Wed Come join Atheists United and the Center for Inquiry-West for some refreshing discussions. 7pm-9pm. Unitarian Church, 3657 Lemon St., Riverside; www.cfiwest.org/groups/ inland.htm. INLAND EMPIRE LATINO LAWYERS ASSOCIATION. Legal clinic hours: Wed, 1pm-3:30pm. Clients also seen at—Lawrence Hutton Center, 660 Colton Ave., Colton, Mon, 1pm-3pm; DeAnza Community Center, 1405 S. Fern Ave., Ontario. 2nd Thurs of every month Needy folks can get counsel/advice on family law, landlord/tenant disputes, civil disputes (such as car accidents) and collections. These volunteer attorneys are like argument angels. For more than 20 years, IELLA’s mission, with the help of the United Way, has been to provide free legal services for the poor and underprivileged because too many people could not afford to hire an attorney, were not able to speak English, or could not read or write. Help them help you by calling or going to the website to schedule an appointment and to see what you need to bring with you for your meeting. 1pm-3:30pm. Administrative Office, Cesar Chavez Community Center, 2060 University Ave. #113, Riverside, 951.369.3009 or iellaaid@aol.com; www.iellaaid. org. INLAND EMPIRE MINORITY-LED RESOURCE DEVELOPMENT COALITION. Every 2nd Fri This coalition includes nonprofits, political and governmental agencies, business owners and individuals, who are all aiming to impart change in their communities. The coalition hosts monthly meetings and is open to any

entity seeking to join, without a membership fee. Bring your fliers and information to share. 10:30am. Meetings at the New Hope Family Life Center, 1505 West Highland Ave, San Bernardino 92411. JEFFERY OWENS COMMUNITY CENTER. The mission of the JOCC is to “provide education, support and advocacy regarding sexual orientation and gender identity.” The center offers a safe environment for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals in the Riverside and San Bernardino areas. 5198 Arlington Avenue #922, Riverside; www.jocc.org.

leisure ACTION ZIPLINE TOURS. Talk about building up your “wheeee!” factor: Touting themselves as the “first legal, permitted zipline tour company in Southern California,” Action sports nine ziplines, ranging from 120- to 820-feet long, a suspension bridge (with views of the Johnson Valley) and expertly guided tours. Whether you’re aiming for a nice, pleasant ride on a wire in the sky or the thrillseeking, well, action that an open-air zipline can provide, Action’s likely got you covered—that is, if you’re at least 8 years of age and weigh at least 75 pounds. (And yes, they’ve got braking systems, just in case you need to hit pause for a moment.) Four tours daily. Action Zipline Tours, 41647 Big Bear Blvd., Big Bear, 909.866.0390; www.actionziplinetours.com. BEAUTY BUBBLE SALON & MUSEUM. Location is a private home so please call for an appointment and directions. Jeff Hafler, an L.A. hairdresser who gave up on Hollyweird, owns the homestead house/salon and operates an awe-inspiring hair museum with treasures like a ‘70s mod Ken doll and an 1880s kerosene-heated curling iron. Get yourself a celebrity-worthy haircut in the desert or pay your $5 and check out some funky old-school beauty equipment. 5444 Moon Way, Wonder Valley, 760.835.9369; www.facebook. com/BeautyBubbleSalonAndMuseum. BELLA VISTA WINERY. This winery claims it was the first Temecula vineyard (around since 1968). Now for a little history lesson, courtesy of the Bella Vista Website: The Temecula wine region began developing in the mid-‘60s when the Kaiser

Land Development Company purchased what was known as Vail Ranch in 1964, and began investing in and marketing the Temecula Valley. Horticulturalists were brought in to evaluate the area, and, along with avocados, the experts determined that wine vineyards were well suited for the valley. The cool moist air from the coast would settle in the Temecula Appellation in the evening and would burn off the following morning, perfect for grape growing. First planted in 1968, five acres of the original Bella Vista acres are still producing adjacent to the winery, which was built in 1978. Unlike gym socks, when it comes to wine, older can be so much better. 41220 Calle Contento, Temecula, 951.676.5250; http:// bellavistawinery.com. BIG BEAR ALPINE ZOO. The Moonridge Animal Park arose from the ashes of forest fires in 1959 that devastated the natural ecosystem of the San Bernardino Mountains. Several injured animals were brought to safety for rehabilitation and a second chance at life in the wild. But for some, returning to the forest was not an option due to human imprinting or injuries that would compromise their survival. Enter the humane and dedicated folks at Moonridge, who created an Alpine zoo, where all the animals are native to our local mountains. Learn more about our furry, feathered and scaly friends through daily feeding tours, in the education center, or in the library. Say hi to the Grizzly! 43285 Goldmine Dr., Big Bear Lake, 909.878.4200; www.moonridgezoo.org. BIG BEAR DISCOVERY CENTER. Here it is: Your gateway to education and adventure in the San Bernardino Mountains. The center is an educational and informational portal set on helping you become a more responsible friend to the forest. You can pick up an adventure pass that gives you access to the local hiking and off-road trails, hiking and biking maps, camping info, or take a naturalist-led interpretive program (wild flower tour, canoe tour, off-road tour, any sort of mountainous tour your heart desires!) or take in a concert under the stars. 40971 North Shore Dr., on Hwy. 38 one mile west of Stanfield Cutoff, Big Bear Lake, 909.866.3437; www.bigbeardiscoverycenter.com. CALICO EARLY MAN ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE. Tours Thurs-Sun, 9:30am, 11:30am, 1:30pm, 3:30pm; Wed, 1:30pm & 3:30pm. Nearly

12,000 stone tools—used for scraping, cutting, and gouging—have been excavated here. The apparent age of some of these items (said to be as ancient as 200,000 years old) contradicts the dominant archaeological theory that humans populated North America only 13,000 years ago. Located 15 miles east of Barstow off I-15 in Yermo. From the Minneola Rd. exit, follow the signs north about two miles on graded dirt roads to the site. CALICO GHOST TOWN. Established in 1881, this ghost town is now California State Historic Landmark 782. It’s an authentic silver mining town that lives on as one of the few original mining camps of the Old West. Gunfight stunt shows have become a part of Calico’s everyday life, but the less adventuresome can pan for real gold, watch water roll uphill in Calico’s Mystery Shack or take a trip down into an actual mine where the air is thin, ceilings are low and evidence of labor-intensive rock chipping is everywhere. Located 10 miles north of Barstow off I-15. Exit Ghost Town Rd., 760.254.2122. CANYON CREST WINERY. This will be your new go-to place for a wide selection of wines and a few fun events to boot. Temecula may be the IE center of our “Wine Country” but heck, Riverside is much closer to home for many and you don’t sacrifice quality by staying local. Canyon Crest Towne Centre, 5225 Canyon Crest Drive, #7A, Riverside, 951.369.9463; www.canyoncrestwinery.com. CHERRY HILLS CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Year-round. Eat better and support your local farmers. Fri, 8am-1pm; Sun, 9am-1pm. 26834 Cherry Hills Blvd., Menifee; www. cafarmersmarkets.com. CHURON WINERY. This Frenchstyle chateau also offers the Inn

at Churon Winery, a bed and breakfast perched on a hillside overlooking the vineyards. It’s the perfect solution if you plan on swallowing more than spitting. 33233 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.694.9070; www.churonwinery.com. CLAREMONT FARMERS & ARTISANS MARKET. Every Sun, 8am1pm. Catch a lively walk through the Claremont Village each week surrounded by fresh vegetables, unique crafts and other greatness. Indian Hill and 2nd St., Claremont. DANZA DEL SOL WINERY. Previously owned by Bill Filsinger’s who was the first Southern California winery to grow and produce Gewurztraminer, a fantastic wine on the sweet side, in 2010 it was taken over by Robert Olson. Now the Winery is focused on wines with Mediterranean influence. 39050 De Portola Rd., Temecula, 951.302.6363; www.danzadelsolwinery.com. DESERT ART STUDIO. Open by appointment. Muralist and painter Chuck Caplinger’s “Oasis of Murals” is a studio and gallery exhibiting his semi-psychedelic portraits, paintings and murals of the Southwest, located in his giant dome home near the entrance to Joshua Tree National Park. He has a cool past. He started off as an illustrator for NASA in Houston, then moved to LA where he worked with Lonestar Pictures and painted celebrity portraits. The award-winning Texas-born artist’s paintings hang in numerous galleries and museums, and his murals color much of California—see his site for desert art near you. Twentynine Palms, 760.361.2305; www. desertartstudio.com. DRIVETECH RACING SCHOOL. Call for schedule of classes and prices. Learn how to drive a high-powered NASCAR racecar in a controlled but demanding environment. The people

JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar

By Eric Francis

Aries (March 20-April 19) You may be questioning whether someone you desire is ready for what you have to offer. You may be sensing that someone is distant, and attributing it to this question. Now is the time to set your doubts aside. Your confidence, and your simple knowledge of what you want, can make up for what anyone else may lack in the way of initiative. I would suggest this, however: place no attachment onto any unusual encounter that may occur. Allow whomever you’re thinking of to take the experience away and absorb it for themselves, giving it their own meaning. A cosmic door is open, and what comes through now may not be available again; and you increase the likelihood of more experiences by having no attachment to this one—generosity, love and appreciation are enough. Taurus (April 19-May 20) A relationship is at a crossroads, though you may not understand the nature of the junction. The circumstance is more about you and how you perceive yourself than it is about any encounter with another person, though the two are connected. It would, however, help to have cause and effect in the right order. How you experience yourself determines how you experience yourself in any encounter with another person. You will see anyone else through the filters of your self-perception. So start there. What are you seeking in a relationship? Figure out where you can give it to yourself. What are you seeking in your creative life? You’re the source of your own creative energy. The more fire you bring into any encounter in your life, the more fire there will be. Relationships are an exchange, which begins with you. Gemini (May 20-June 21) I’ve sometimes teased about the second kinkiest sign of the zodiac, without revealing my notion of who gets the ribbon. That would be Gemini; it’s the whole twin thing, which is a way of bypassing differentiation and merging with the other. If you’re not a Gemini don’t worry—everyone has the Twins in their chart (it’s just a matter of where), so anyone can tap into this benefit. For you, now, the sky is a playpen. It’s a waterworld of ideas and sensations, of feelings and the potential for deep nourishment. More than anything, the experiences you have can allow you to connect with something deep in yourself that would qualify as a core creativity, a source of pleasure and a mode of healing—all at once. Words are vital to this process: dare to speak the unspeakable and let that experience work its wonders on you. Speak to yourself or someone you care about, but learn to connect feelings with words and see where that leads you. Cancer (June 21-July 22) All sex involves risk, and an element of the unknown. Study personal ads for half an hour and you will get a taste of the certainty that people are seeking. Usually, they look for people who claim to be “disease free” and to have no emotional baggage. I suggest you look, or rather feel, for chemistry and authenticity. These are human qualities you can count on in the immediate moment, and the long run. It’s true that part of you wants to blaze forward, and part of you is hesitating. You have some dark secrets you’re keeping, and you have a burning desire to speak about them. That would count for adventure, and it could lead to others—based on whether you feel heard, and whether you like what you hear. So speak and listen. Leo (July 22-Aug. 23) Stay close to home—that’s the point of maximum fulfillment and adventure. And I dare say quite an adventure is possible, right where you are (and at most within a mile or two). I suggest you plan some kind of gathering for Saturday night, at the center of which is a fire. A campfire, Chiminea pot or even a display with lots of candles will do (put someone in charge of fire safety if you take the candle route). Arrange the fire in the center of the space, so that it’s a focal point. In another time and place I might have suggested inviting over some sexually adventurous adults, arranging childcare for 24 hours, and disconnecting the phones and the computers. Food would be light fare, for maximum alertness; and easy on the libations—not too much: just enough. Who does these things anymore? Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22) Wow, your mind looks like a morph between NASCAR and stock car racing. Except for the part about everything making such perfect sense, when you look at it the right way. The intensity is hot, and you may be wondering how you’re going to get all those words, pictures, concepts and emotions onto paper. You need something kinesthetic: something you can squash your hands into, that entirely bypasses the language and logic centers in your brain. Rather than abstraction, you seem to want the direct feedback of the sensual world. Try to bypass any form of syntax or rationality. As you work with the parts of your mind and emotions that are oblivious

to reason, your ideas will evolve into something you can handle, and you will love them when they do. Libra (Sep. 22-Oct. 23) Is masturbation sex? Most people would say no—it’s something you do in the shower. I would say yes, and that it’s an attribute of the most important relationship you have, which is with yourself. Right now your masturbation practice is the canary in the coal mine of your erotic life; what you might call the indicator that will tell you about all the other erotic encounters in your life. Remember that a key element is imagination, which in this situation is the ability to simultaneously feel, conjure images and be in your body at the same time. How do partners feel about the sex you have with yourself, including what goes through your mind? Who that you know inspires you to go deeper into yourself ? Who actually honors your inner relationship? That is a lover—especially if it’s you. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) You may be concerned about your image, or living up to some pretense of glamour, desirability or youth. What I suggest you invest your energy in is connecting with the eternally young person you contain within you, which is best described in the metaphor of a fire. The concept “old fire” and “new fire” don’t really mean much; hot fire, well-tended fire, and having enough fuel are more practical and useful. In the human journey, that fire is contained within. Others may inspire you, remind you of new directions that you might take and even pass some heat your way—yet you alone can tend to your creative flame. A rare alignment in your birth sign suggests that this is the moment where a little love will go a long way. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22) Your imagination must be running utterly wild. It may be wild with the possibilities, and among them may be a touch more fear and hesitancy than you’re accustomed to. It looks like there are moments when you’re afraid of falling off a cliff in your mind. I’m not making the case for mental instability or anything, but I would say that the edgy nature of your charts right now would accurately reflect an edgy state of mind; and that is something you can safely explore. You simply have more flex in your swing and your thoughts have a bit more space between them. Perhaps you want to be alone, perhaps you want to be with someone you care about. Whatever the case, if you can name three people who love you, you’re fine. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20) You may have one destination or concept in mind; that will work as long as you hang loose and be ready to take another kind of ride. This weekend’s astrology really is a case of “one thing leads to another,” whatever that might mean for you: it could involve a partner, it could involve a project, it could be social. Speaking of projects, you seem to have one that’s been on your mind. It looks like a deeply personal endeavor of some kind, probably of the creative ilk. You may feel tension between whether you engage with others or engage with yourself. The astrology suggests that the truly one-of-a-kind, lavishly fulfilling opportunity involves your inner process rather than any kind of gathering. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) Everyone has his or her own reason for respecting you, and the most likely one right now is that you’re in alignment with yourself. You have the ability to be who you are, with everyone, all the time. This is a particular kind of integrity, and it’s one that’s rarely seen in the world—so if you happen to get on this wavelength, you’re likely to stand out. Yet the quality that will stand out the most is quiet inner confidence that exudes both self-sufficiency and warmth. That is the key, the part about emitting heat. One thing we both know about Aquarians is that aura of cool detachment. You have another side, a passionate aspect of who you are, that is tuned directly into your emotions and your empathy. Put that forward first. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Remember that in order to divide “sexual” from “spiritual,” someone had to use an axe. Fortunately, this can only be done in concept, not in reality. In reality, loving, fully aware existence is what the seeker of truth reaches for. The thing to remember is that it’s not distant: It’s right with you now. You would be wise to pause and question any doubts you may have about whether this is true: whose doubts are they? If you think they’re your own, where did they come from? The simple truth of existence is that while you’re roaming around on this planet, you have the privilege of enjoying your life, and sharing your pleasure. At the heart of that is the privilege of desire.

Read your daily horoscope at: www.PlanetWaves.net

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

of Drivetech want you to know this: More track time, more laps, more speed, more freedom on the track, passing encouraged, side-by-side driving, coaching by radio, warm up laps, and in-car video. But all you’ve gotta know from us is: “Days of Thunder.” California Speedway, 14611 Rancho Vista Dr., Fontana, 888.495.7223; www.drivetech.com. FALKNER WINERY. This awardwinning winery believes “wine is truly the ‘spirit of the gods’ that embraces the essence of life itself and helps all of us not take things too seriously.” They also offer 10 different wines, group wine classes, a wine club, and wedding packages. Tasting room open 10am-5pm. Restaurant open 11:30am-3:30pm. 40620 Calle Contento, Temecula, 951.676.8231; www.falknerwinery.com. FENDER CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS. For those with kids who are about to rock, we salute you. And we present you with this incredibly awesome experience—professional caliber performing arts education and instruction to children, ages 7-17, through the Kids Rock Free Educational Program. This program provides free and low cost musical instruction education including piano, guitar, bass guitar, vocal performance, drums and combo band. Intrigued? Bring your school or group for a tour, including an inter-active demonstration, access to the exhibits and the visual arts gallery, and an optional scavenger hunt. 365 N. Main St., Corona, 951.735.2440; www.fendercenter.com. FLYING BEAR ZIP LINES. “I believe I can fly,” once sangeth R. Kelly, but never did he sing about zip linin’ his friendly face across gorgeous canyon scenery and through the tops of trees in Big Bear. And that’s where Flying Bear kicks in, offering five zip lines and an aerial platform that’s perched almost a hundred feet high. Two tours are offered, the “Black Bear” which takes about an hourand-a-half and puts your ass flying down three different zip lines. And then there’s “The Grizzly” that’ll suspend your noggin’ across a canyon down five lines in around three hours’ time. The tours are guided by

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trained pros and offer some amazing views, but they’re not for everyone, as you must be at least 75 pounds, but no more than 250. Also, pregnant people and those with medical conditions are asked to consult with a medical provider before embarking on such an adventure. Open year round, everyday. Prices start around $65. At the top of Mill Creek Rd., Big Bear Lake, 909.866.3260; www. flyingbearziplines.com. GALLEANO WINERY. Galleano winemaking spans five generations, remaining family-owned, and claims to be California’s largest producer of Cucamonga Valley wines. CantuGalleano Ranch complex is listed on the California and National Register of Historic Places. 4231 Wineville Rd., Mira Loma, 951.685.5376; www.galleanowinery.com. GLEN EDEN SUN CLUB. See website for prices. Glen Eden is known as Southern California’s premier nudist resort and RV park. Interested clothes-free parties might be happy to know that first-time visitors get in free (see their website for the coupon). Entertainment, dining and sports are all part of the offerings, including tennis, volleyball and swimming. 25999 Glen Eden Rd., Corona, 951.277.4650; www.gleneden.com. THE GLEN IVY CENTER. Seeking some alone time away from the every day buzz of standard city living? Here’s a retreat that’s offering a relaxed and spacious experience on sacred land with creeks, walking paths and organic orchards. Get away from the distractions! 25005 Glen Ivy Rd., Corona, 951.277.8701; www.glenivy.org. GRABER OLIVES. Tours available throughout the year. In the fall, visitors may view the many activities that center around the long and careful tradition of grading, curing and canning Graber olives. Can you think of a more romantic date? 315 E. 4th St., Ontario, 800.996.5483; www.graberolives.com. HADLEY FRUIT ORCHARDS. Open since 1931, Hadley’s offers dried fruits, nuts, and dates—they are famous for their rich and delicious date shakes. What I find most intriguing, however, is that they claim to be the originators of trail mix. Whoudathunk?!

48980 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.854.5655; www.hadleyfruitorchards.com. HANGAR 18. So, you’re all about hangin’ tuff. Well, then, maybe you’re ready to pit yourself against the 10,000+ square feet of climbing at SoCal’s tallest climbing gym. Whether you’re a serious climber or just curious about trying it out for the first time, this gym is ideal for climbers of any age and ability level. Newly renovated with a massive party deck, additional bouldering space, gymnastic flooring, and two new killer crack climbs, Hangar 18 is the perfect location for birthday parties, school or church groups, scout troops, climbing camps, teambuilding events, or family outings. They also offer Kung Fu and Hatha Yoga classes for those whose life involves being a little more “grounded.” 256 E. Stowell St. #A, Upland, 909.931.5991; 6935 Arlington Ave., Riverside, 951.359.5040; www.climbhangar18.com. HIGH ADVENTURE. Open daily, year-round, weather permitting. Call for prices and to schedule classes. The Website says, “Often the question comes up... What is the difference between ‘hang gliding’ and ‘paragliding’?” High Adventure—a business run by husband-and-wife team Rob and Dianne McKenzie—offers USHPA certified, personalized instruction and service in both sports, out of Andy Jackson Airport. Go for both the tandem and the solo lessons for the complete experience. Best of all, they’ve won lots of safety awards. 4231 Sepulveda Ave., San Bernardino, 909.379.9095; www.flytandem.com. HIGH DESERT FARMERS MARKET. There’s not only a bounty of fresh vegetables, fruits, and flowers, but also fun items like doggie treats, raw honey, kettle corn, stuffed olives, and so much more. Parking is free. 18422 Bear Valley Rd., Victorville, 760.247.3769; www.highdesertfarmersmarket.com. HIGH DESERT TEST SITES. See the website for more info and a timeline of exhibits. The High Desert Test Sites are a series of experimental art sites located along a stretch of desert communities including Pioneertown, Yucca Valley, Joshua Tree, 29 Palms and Wonder Valley. These sites provide alternative space for experimental works by both emerging and established artists. Most projects are meant to belong to no one and are intended to melt back into

the landscape as new ones emerge, basically giving each piece its own chance to sink or swim. The goal is also to create an artistic community on a zero budget. Go to the Website to learn more about the group’s mission. It’s like Burning Man without the fire or repressed Silicon Valley thirtysomethings. From L.A., take the 10 east; exit on Hwy 62 (29 Palms Hwy) and head east toward 29 Palms; the sites are located between Yucca Valley and Wonder Valley. Info: www.highdeserttestsites.com. INLAND PARAFLITE INC. Call for packages and prices. California’s only year-round, full-time powered-parachute training center. There is so much to choose from—intro flights; the First Flight course where you go solo in the Powerchute Pegasus; and the full UFI course, which brings you to the level required to be endorsed to fly a PPC solo and puts you on a straight and level course to attain your own UFI rating. It sounds foreign to us, but it’s probably the coolest thing in the world to those who speak the language. Located in Apple Valley. Info: 760.242.3359; www.paraplane. com. INTEGRATRON. Curious? Well, the Integratron is “an acoustically perfect tabernacle and energy machine sited on a powerful geomagnetic vortex in the magical Mojave Desert.” Yeah. Basically, in the ’50s, George Van Tessel got abducted by aliens and then returned in order to build this dome based on the design of Moses’ Tabernacle, the writings of Nikola Tesla and telepathic directions from extraterrestrials. Yeah. It was originally meant to be a rejuvenation and time machine, but today it is the only all-wood, acoustically perfect sound chamber in the U.S. Check out the Website—tons of activities happen out there, such as concerts, sky watchers, spiritual meetings, school trips and so much more. But you definitely can’t miss the Sound Bath—a 30-minute sonic healing session. Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins gives it two thumbs up. Yeah. 2477 Belfield Blvd., Landers, 760.364.3126; www.integratron.com. JIM WALLACE SKYDIVING SCHOOL. Who in their right mind would want to jump from a perfectly good airplane at 13,000 feet? Chuck Norris, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves, and a

whole lotta other people with a lot less money, that’s who. Gail Sims and Jim Wallace know what they’re doing—they do movie stunts, hold world records, and help pansies like us to fall through the air with confidence and ease. 2091 Goetz Rd., Perris, 800.795.3483; www.jimwallaceskydiving.com. JOSEPH FILIPPI WINERY & VINEYARDS. You must go to the Website and read the history of this place—it’s worthy of a Brian Grazer film, starring Tom Hanks. They also allow you to select custom labels when you purchase wine, and make a point of offering non-alcoholic beverages to your designated driver. Oh, and their yummy wine wins heaps of awards. 12467 Baseline Rd., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.899.5755; www. josephfilippiwinery.com. JURUPA MOUNTAINS CULTURAL CENTER. A nonprofit FamilyOriented Learning Facility (or FOLF), featuring fun programs in archaeology, geology, paleontology and earth sciences. Their goal is to teach awareness and respect for the earth and its inhabitants through hands-on educational programs. They offer field trips, specialty classes, nature school classes and the Earth Science Museum, as well as the largest dinosaur egg collection in North America. 7621 Granite Hill Dr., Riverside, 951.685.5818; www.jmcc.us K1 SPEED ONTARIO. Who doesn’t love to drive their hearts out? Well, you can’t take tight turns and mash the throttle with glee when travelling on public roads (at least, we don’t advise you do that), but you can surely let ‘em rip once you’re behind the wheel at this top-notch indoor karting track. These high-performance electric karts run on two race tracks (which can be combined for special functions), featuring a high-grip asphalt surface, plus there’s enough space for birthday parties and meetings. Hook up with the Arrive and Drive package that allows folks to compete in a 14-lap race against friends or competitors for the fastest lap time. There’s even an adult racing league, just in case you’re looking to get serious about karting your non-minor heart out. Best of all, you won’t be seeing any flashing lights in your rear view mirror after flooring it. 5350 E. Ontario Mills Pkwy., Ontario, 909.980.0286; www.k1speed. com. THE KIMBERLY CREST HOUSE & GARDEN TOUR. Be sure to strap

on your walking shoes if you opt for the daytime docent-led tour of the Kimberly Crest House, Carriage House exhibit and Gift Shop (surprise), along with a guided tour through the gardens and grounds. There is a lot to be said for the rejuvenating nature of a little beauty. And nature. Enjoy the terraced Italian gardens, orange groves, Koi ponds and the picturesque chateau with a French revival parlor complete with gilt furniture and silk damask wall coverings. The tour is approximately two hours. Visitors should expect to be on their feet for an extended period of time and have to navigate stairs as well as sloped lawns. Closed in Aug. Kimberly Crest House & Gardens, 1325 Prospect Dr., Redlands, 909.792.2111; www. kimberlycrest.org. LEMON CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. This 10,000 square foot museum celebrates Corona’s past history as the “Lemon Capital of the World” during the 1930-40s. It sits at the center of the former Corona Lemon Company, which, at 2,000 acres, was believed to have been the largest single lemon ranch in California. The park now utilizes 11 historic buildings, houses and packing sheds as a sort of artist’s colony. Artists-in-residence include sculptors, painters, muralists, lifedrawers, glass blowers, weavers and woodworkers. You can watch them work or take classes yourself. An operating beneficial bug farm is also on site as well as a quaint farmer’s market. Before you leave, make sure to stop by the small gift shop featuring “everything lemon.” Corona Heritage Park & Museum, 510 W. Foothill Pkwy., Corona, 951.898.0687; www.coronaheritage.org. LEONESSE CELLARS. The word Leonesse, meaning “village of dreams,” is the inspiration behind this winery’s quest to

JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar create world-class wines from the Temecula Valley (not to be confused with Field of Dreams, which is about world-class baseball players). They have won numerous awards, including one for “White Merlot,” which I have never heard of. Have yourself a taste when you pop in for a tour of the enchanting grounds or to take in one of their popular concerts. 38311 De Portola Rd., Temecula, 951.302.7601; www.leonessecellars.com. MAURICE CAR’RIE WINERY. This winery, centered around a large Victorian-style farmhouse nestled amidst rolling hills, was founded by Budd and Maurice C. Van Roekel in 1986. Today the winery is run by new owners Buddy and Cheri Linn. (Apparently you have to be named Bud to own this place.) The winery offers a pineapple-flavored champagne and a popular pinot noir, amongst other award-winning wines products. They also have a famous baked brie served in sourdough bread. 34225 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.676.1711; www. mauricecarriewinery.com. MOTOCROSS VACATION. SoCal is the Mecca of the motocross industry. If your bag is heart-pumping adrenaline rides organized on your choice of five of the world’s top tracks, then check out one of MXV’s full service vacations. All packages include everything you need to enjoy the thrill of motocross: bikes, fuel, entry fees, pit set-up with support from friendly and knowledgeable staff, food, drinks, transportation, tours, training and more. And best of all, at the end of the day, they load up, clean, and prep the bikes for the next day of incredible riding. 31221 Saddleback Ln., Menifee, 909.772.8082; www.motocrossvacation.com. ORANGE EMPIRE RAILWAY MUSEUM. Wanna see big machinery? How’s about checking out a museum with a massive collection of railcars and locomotives? If this doesn’t tickle your high torque transportation fancy, then how’s about the fact that you, yes you, can actually get behind the wheel (well, there ain’t a wheel when we’re talking rails here, I suppose) of a locomotive and rent

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one for an hour! Access to the museum grounds is free, riding the trains costs $12 for adults and $8 children 5-11. Free for children under 5. Actually being able to operate a locomotive: $190 an hour. All aboard! 2201 S. A St., Perris, 951.657.2605 or 951.943.3020; www.oerm.org. PERRIS VALLEY SKYDIVING. Perris Valley Skydiving, the largest skydiving center in North America, offers so many ways for you to fall out of the sky, I can’t even begin to tell you. Spectators are welcome to recline on the grassy lawn and watch the parachutes play against the blue sky. But everyone can enjoy the 3,600 sq. ft. Bombshelter Bar and Grill, which contains a comprehensive collection of skydiving memorabilia, as well as num-nums. 2091 Goetz Rd., Perris, 800.832.8818; www. skydiveperris.com. PIONEERTOWN. Pioneertown was built in 1946 as a movie set for western movies. Productions shot at the site included Range Rider, Annie Oakley, Buffalo Bill Jr., The Gene Autry Show and Cisco Kid. Check out Pappy & Harriet’s (for drinkin’ ‘n’ rockin’), Pioneer Bowl (bowlin’ ‘n’ eatin’), Pioneertown Motel (sleep where the stars slept), Historic Hayden Ranch (to really feel like a movie cowboy), and Rimrock Ranch Cabins (“The High Desert Getaway for Stressed-out City Dwellers”). If you’re there in the summer, weekends offer an Old West reenactment. We have the feeling someone will be pushing up daisies. And since you’re there, be sure to stop into Pappy & Harriet’s for beers and blues, rock, alt-country and more. 53688 Pioneertown Rd., Pioneertown; www.pioneertown. com. website doesn’t work PONTE WINERY. The Ponte family purchased this lush property over 20 years ago, but at first they sold their grapes to other wineries. They now proudly offer a full array of wines under their own label. Their new winemaker, Robert Cartwright, is a hands-on kind of guy available to answer your wine questions in the tasting room every Fri, 3pm-4pm. Cartwright’s education includes chemistry, environmental science and enology (the study of wine

IEWEEKLY.com | January 2 - January 8, 2014

and the making of wine). Who knew there was so much science behind it? 35053 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.694.8855; www.pontewinery.com. RANCHO SANTA ANA BOTANICAL GARDENS. California’s got an immensely diverse cross section of vegetation and plant life, and perhaps nowhere is that collection better represented than at the Rancho Santa Ana Botanical Garden. Situated near the heart of the Claremont Village and the prestigious colleges, this garden sports over 80 acres, featuring an incredible array of flowers, trees and brush, all with the backdrop of a majestic mountain range. Take a brisk walk and get your cardiovascular workout going, or just make it a slow stroll through the pathways that wind their way through the grounds. Admission is free, but there is a suggested donation to help keep the nonprofit park in top form. 1500 N. College Ave., Claremont, 909.625.8767; www.rsabg.org. REDLANDS MARKET NIGHT. Established in 1988, this certified farmers market is one of the most successful in Southern California. An atmosphere of lighted trees, brick sidewalks and historic buildings holds over 150 food and merchandise booths as well as downtown shopkeepers who stay open late. There are clowns, magicians, horse-drawn carriage rides, face painters and live music in every genre. Smoking and animals are not permitted, and children under the age of 18 must be accompanied by an adult after 8pm. Thurs, 6-9pm. Downtown Redlands, 909.798.7548; www. redlandsmarketnight.com. RILEY’S FARM. This farm has apples, raspberries, pears and sunflowers, amongst other crops. But that’s only the beginning. Why not check out the Colonial Farm Life Adventure, the Revolutionary War Adventure, or the Old Joe Homestead Tour. Or, if you’re feeling extra adventurous, the Revolutionary War Overnight Adventure, dinner programs, and you-pick fruit. Go online to find out what it’s all about. 12261 S. Oak Glen Rd., Oak Glen, 909.797.7534; www. rileysfarm.com. RIVERSIDE CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Bring lots of small bills and change. Good people would also bring their own bags. Year-round. Fri, 8:30am-

12pm. 5261 Arlington Ave., Riverside; www.cafarmersmarkets. com. ROBERT RENZONI VINEYARDS AND WINERY. Nestled in a dozen acres in the southern portion of the Temecula Wine Country, this winery is the newest entry in the local batch of great grapes. However the owners aren’t new to the winemaking tradition, which has been part of the family for over a century. This father and son operation features a 4,000 square foot tasting room and production facility, and though they’ve just barely got their winery started, they’re already a featured wine in several restaurants. 37350 De Portola Rd., Temecula, 951.302.8466; www. robertrenzonivineyards.com. SAN BERNARDINO CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Tues, 5:30pm9:30pm. Year-round. Ferris Hill Park, E. Highland Ave. at Valencia Ave., San Bernardino; www. cafarmersmarkets.com. SOUTH COAST WINERY RESORT AND SPA. Get away for a while and enjoy the holistic peace of this resort which features a winery, spa and restaurant. This relaxing location will bring down anyone’s stress level to a healthy low! 34843 Rancho California Rd., Temecula. 951.587.9463; www.wineresort. com. STARDUST SKATING CENTER. Intro to Derby Skating with the Inland Empire Derby Divas happens every Sun, 10:30am. $5 admission. $2 skate rental. 2167 N. Lugo Ave., San Bernardino, 909.883.1103; www.myspace. com/stardustskatingcenter. STATE STREET WINERY. This winery is one of the newest kids on the State Street block, but its offerings of Cran Chi Chi (fresh cranberry-infused Chainto) and Chilean Cabernet (dark and peppery notes) lend a refreshing departure to Downtown Redlands’ usual wine-and-dine scene. Very “special” grape juice is the order of the day, and proprietor Janet Harter is there to make sure your tasting experience goes down smooth and refreshing. 404 E. State St., Redlands, 909.798.4300; www. statestreetwineryredlands.com. SURFER DAVE’S HAUNTED THEATER. A walking tour through the historic Granada Theater in Ontario takes you back in time into the 1920s. Check out locations not generally open to the public and hear about all the famous folks that’ve made the place so special. Surfer Dave’s your host, telling you all

about mystery and suspense that surrounds the location and there’s even talk of meeting “visitors from the other side.” Admission: $15. Call ahead for reservations. 303 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.292.8415; www. granadaghosttours.wordpress. com. TEMECULA OLD TOWN CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Sat, 8am12pm. Year-round. 6th St. at Old Town Front St., Temecula;www. cafarmersmarkets.com. TEMECULA PROMENADE CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Wed, 9am-1pm. Year-round. Winchester Rd. at Ynez Rd., Temecula; www.cafamersmarkets. com. THORNTON WINERY. Opened in 1988, Thornton winery combines old world style with new world taste. Check out their multiple-award-winning restaurant, Café Champagne, the Champagne Jazz Series on the Mediterranean fountain terrace and their winery tours. Oh, and try their specialty—the sparkling wine champagne made with the Methode Champenoise. 32575 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.699.0099; www.thorntonwine.com. THRESH|HOLD. Are you adventurous and want physical stimulation but hate the staleness of standard gyms? Head down to Riverside for a unique rock climbing experience that will get your heart pumpin’ and your muscles sore. Known as bouldering, this workout focuses on the strength of your body through bursts of energetic movements. And the routes, known as problems, require ingenuity and curiousness to explore the limits of your own body. (Don’t worry, there’s a crash pad and trained spotters to help you, might you slip a little.) They also offer yoga classes as well as themed events. Check out the calendar on their website. 2111 Iowa Ave. Unit A, Riverside, 951.742.8479; www.climbth.com. TOM’S FARMS. With several restaurants on site (including a burger stand, Señor Tom’s Mexican food, a cheese and wine deli and their own pizzeria), a Sweet Shoppe, home furnishings and gifts, rides on an 19th --century, steam-propelled train and the carousel, plus live music every weekend, this farm is a lot more than just dried fruit and nuts. Speaking of nuts, check out Anthony the Magic every Sat, 12pm & 2pm, for a halfhour show of doves, straight-

jackets, audience participation and large illusions with a lovely assistant. 23900 Temescal Canyon Rd., Corona, 951.277.4422; www.tomsfarms.com and www.anthonythemagic.com. UCR BOTANIC GARDENS. Gardens include Alder, Rose, Herb, Cactus, Iris, Lilac, Subtropical Fruit, South African, Boysie Day Baja, and many more. Other highlights are the Geodesic Lath Dome, hiking trails, and a pond that is home to turtles and koi. It’s the perfect place to get away from it all and suck up a little more oxygen. $2 suggested donation. UC Riverside, 900 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.6962; www. botanicgardens.ucr.edu. WIND FARM TOURS. Tour site located at I-10 & Indian Ave. on N. Frontage Rd. (20th Ave.) 1 1/4 miles west. Call for reservations. Travel through a forest of gigantic wind turbines. Seriously, you know you want to.Call for tour reservations at 760.320.1365. THE WINE TAILOR. This newer winery resides in the oldest winery building in California (circa 1839). It’s the perfect place for a historical tour, a concert or a wedding. Newlyweds-tobe can go to the winery and actually make their own wine, complete with a personal label. Actually, anyone can do it because the Wine Tailor is a custom winery i.e. they buy their grapes rather than grow them, and can make small batches to order. Otherwise you can simply enjoy the winery’s award winning bottles. 8916 Foothill Blvd., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.481.5050; www. thewinetailor.com. YOGAM CENTER. This yoga center is a recent addition to the area, featuring classes and workshops for folks of all ages, including yoga for kids, mommy & me yoga, stress relief yoga (hey, we need that!) and introduction to meditation. 9720 Central Ave., Montclair, 909.625.1400; www.yogamcenter.org.

enthusiasts. A National Forest Adventure Pass is required before riding. Off Hwy. 18, east of Big Bear, 909.866.3437. GLEN HELEN RACEWAY. Besides being the home of professional racing in Southern California, Glen Helen has a three-mile Baja style racecourse, three dirt bike tracks and on-site camping. 18585 Verdemont Ranch Rd., San Bernardino, 909.880.3090; www.glenhelen. com. JOHNSON VALLEY. A perfect mix of dry lakebeds, flat desert and hilly terrain. Whatever kind of off-road vehicle you have,

this is a great place to put it to use. Take Hwy. 247 and exit Old Woman Springs Rd., Barstow. LUCAS OIL MX PARK. Seemingly endless strips of dirt bike track that aims to be the leading motocross tracks in California. After all, they do put the rider first. 18700 Lake Perris Dr., Perris. 951.943.4535; www. lucasoil.mx.com. PERRIS RACEWAY. This professional racetrack is perfect for any age. With courses for younger children, to the large, motocross style tracks, the entire family can take a part

off road BIG PINE FLAT TRAIL. A 25-mile trail course gives off-roaders a great, leisurely ride through the scenic San Bernardino National Forest. Off Green Valley Lake Rd. in the San Bernardino Forest, San Bernardino. CACTUS FLATS. Perfect for camping and all-day riding. This self-contained area of the forest is a hot spot for off-road JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar of a great day of riding. Check the Website for dates and information. 1205 Burton Rd., Perris. 951.657.3091; www.perrisraceway.com. PINNACLES. This staging ground leads to many motorcycle and ATV trails. Camping is also available in designated areas. Off Hwy. 173 in the San Bernardino Forest, Lake Arrowhead. RASOR RANCH OHV AREA. Ra-

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sor Ranch is miles of rolling hills and dunes, perfect for any sand junkie looking for that perfect spot. Exit Rasor Ranch Rd. from the 15 Fwy., San Bernardino. STODDARD VALLEY OHV AREA. This area is home to frequent weekend competitions. Come to watch the big boys pull off the huge stunts. Take the Sidewinder Rd. exit from the 15 Fwy. near Barstow.

BY jeff girod

Final

Word We’re gathered here today to bury the electric car. Grab a shovel. After years and years (and years) of drilling it into our heads that gas is the devil’s fire water and electricity is the only pathway to a clean, utopian salvation—THIS: The US Department of Energy is forecasting that whoops! Turns out electric cars are just as silly as we’ve all quietly suspected. In fact, almost all of us will still be driving gasolinesucking cars in the year 2040. According to the department’s most recent report, a whopping 78 percent of light duty vehicles will still be sold with gasoline engines almost three decades from now, compared to just one percent of full electric vehicles. One percent! That’s one percent more than none percent. Oh and thanks to newly discovered shale deposits and fracking techniques, oil production within the US should rise significantly by 2019, making us less dependent on foreign oil. Electric cars suck. Oh my god do they suck. I’d say they “suck balls” but nothing about an electric car should be associated with genitalia, because the electric car is about the most emasculating thing you can own. No one has ever looked at an electric car and said, “Wow, what an impressive . . .” and then stop right there, because nothing about an electric car has ever swayed a client meeting or helped someone land a job. Owning an electric car will never get you laid. It may not even be possible to have sex in an electric car because electric cars are so tiny they barely have room for a defroster. When people talk about electric cars, they always use words such as “sensible” and “eco-friendly.” It’s like being set up on a blind date with someone whose 9 digits short of a 10. Friends will go on about what a great personality she has. Your mom, no doubt, will love her. Even the manufacturers of electric cars know they’re fighting a losing war. Why else would they give theirs cars terrible names such as the Volt, Spark and Leaf ? Spend $20,000 and Nissan can’t even name your car after an entire tree. Yes. The electric car has everything you’d want in a vehicle if your goal were to sacrifice everything

about that’s fun about driving for the sake of the environment: great gas mileage, low fuel emission… minimal wind resistance? I don’t know if that last one is even a thing. But you know what? I don’t care about electric cars. I honestly spend more time thinking about flossing and those guys in suits who ring my doorbell and invite me to their weird churches. You know what electric cars are? They’re something I want everyone else to drive. Sure, they sound great. Let’s make the air cleaner. Let’s preserve some mythical pond where my imaginary grandkids can play on a tire swing. Just don’t take away my raised pickup truck because I don’t want anyone to see through my driver’s window when I’m scratching my balls. This world needs inventors. It needs doers. It needs people to continually push normal bounds and keep searching for “the next big thing.” Who’s going to do it? Me? I can barely fight the urge to give the neighbor’s toddler a free haircut. I’m never going to invent a new car or solve the world’s energy crisis. But what I can to do is tell everyone else when I see an idea that’s never going to work. Added benefit: I’ll mock it when it fails. But more than that, I don’t like being scolded. Especially when it turns out to be unnecessarily. And I think that’s why I delight so much in the slow flickering death of the electric car. Don’t tell the rest of us how to live our lives until you’re 100 percent sure that your way is the right and only way. And even if and when it is, don’t be so damned smug about it. We know we should all use less gas. But make electric cars bigger, faster and something George Clooney or, better yet, Steve McQueen would drive. Then maybe I’ll buy one. Until then, screw the electric car. Where’s my gas card and keys? IE

Contact Jeff Girod at: finalword@ieweekly.com JAnuary 2 - January 8, 2014 | IEWEEKLY.com