Tales from the Crypt (v2 Papercutz [Full Set]) by Insainment

HEH, HEH! WELL,

MEET AGAIN, BOILS AND

GHOULS'.

IT’S BEEN TOO LONG, MISSED YOU- ^ BUT MY AIM IS GETTING MUCH BETTER! YOU DISMEMBER MY TWO FIENDS AND ME, DON’T YOU? WE’RE GHOULUNATICS, TELLERS OF TWISTED TALES OF TERROR AND SHOCK SUSPENS TORIESl I’M THE CRYPT-KEEPER HE’S THE VAULT-KEEPER, AND SHE'S THE OLD WITCH'.

SHE’S A REAL

LOOKER, ISN’T

DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!

SHE?!

THEY’RE HERE HELPING ME DE-GORE- ATE MY CRYPT WITH PORTRAIT PAIN-TINGS OF MY FAVORITE DEAD-HEADS! WHICH REMINDS OF MY FIRST CHILLING STORY, ABOUT MY FAVORITE ARTIST, A MAD GENIUS KNOWN AS JACK KROLL...

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NOTHING MUCH HAPPENS IN THE TOWN OP CRANWELL, NEW JERSEY. THAT'S WHY, WHEN ELDERLY GLADYS PRICE PEOPLE NOTICED, ESPECIALLY MIKE AND LINDA ANDERSON, THE MARRIED COUPLE WHO LIVED NEXT DOOR.

DIED,

WONDER

WHO'S OOINO TO MOVE INTO HER HOUSE. .

~IT'S HARD TO” BELIEVE SHE'S OONE. SHE WAS OLD EVEN WHEN . I WAS A KID.^

WVVn

DURINO THE NEXT SIX MONTHS, ALL THE CUSTOMERS AT THE LOCAL DINER LINDA, AS A WAITRESS, HAD IDEAS. ..

WHERE MIKE WORKED AS A COOK, AND

" I HEARDN SOME WEALTHY COMPUTER OUY WAS LOOKING THE PLACE OVER. A

MILLIE

AT^B 1

THE REAL

'ESTATE office’ SAID A

DOCTOR HAD EXPRESSED i INTEREST.^ ,

r C'MON,

LET'S

HE OOES.

YEAH,

THAT'S^!

MY IDEA OF ^ FUN-TAILINO SOME WEIRDO IN THE J MIDDLE OF THE J

FOLLOW HIM AND SEE WHERE v

NIOHT/

7^ .

THIS COULD

BE A WILD OOOSE CHASE, BUT I DON'T CARE. I WANT ,

ANSWERS.

I'D LIKE

ANSWERS

TOO.

LIKE WHAT MADE ME SAY, "l DO" FIFTEEN

yEARS AGO?

WHERE'S HE ^ rOOINO? WE'VE BEEN DRIVINO FOR 10

MINUTES ALREADy.

AND I'M LOSINO MY

^ BEAUT/ SLEEP,

NOTHING

THIS

DIRECTION, THAT IS EXCEPT... a

F\..THE r

THERE HE

ANR WE

RON'T

IS/^

CREEP// EVEN

KEEP YOUR

VOICE ROWN; WE RON'T WANT HIM TO HEAR US.

WANT

TO WAKE UP v

ANYONE. >

HE'S PAINTING A PICTURE/

mu,

GUESS STAMP COLLECTING ISN'T

.FOR EVERYONE.

MAYBE HE'S

VISITING THE LAST' COUPLE THAT FOLHIM AROUNRi AT NIGHT.

LOWER

THIS IS REALLY

.SCARIER THAN OUR. Ik HONEYMOON/

WHERE

BEEN GOING/, BUT WH/?

TOWN^1

CEMETERY/ 50 THAT'S

.HE'S

THESE MUST BE SOME OF HIS PAINTINGS/ UOOK AT ALL THOSE CORPSES' YOU PON'T THINK HE

rVACTUALLYpo you?THEM PICS

up,

rMARTY

IF HE HAP,

^ 1

AT THE

POLICE STATION

WOULP'VE SAIP SOMETHING AT OUR WEEKLy POKER ,

C-AME.

/ KROLL'S PAINTINGS OF ORAVEYARDS AND CORPSES ARE PART OF AN IMPORTANT

NEW ART MOVEMENT

CALLED, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;OUTSIDER ART.'" YOU MEAN

A WEEK

WENT 8/ ANP THEN THE PAV CAME...

K ROLL'S OETTINO~

A PEW MINUTES THAT

INTO HIS CAR. IN

CREEP WILL BE

ON HIS WAV' TO > NEW VORK-^SS

IT TAKES AT LEAST AN HOUR ANP A HALF TO OET TO THf CITY, PLUS WITH THE TRAFFIC AT THIS HOUR, YOU CAN APP AT LEAST ANOTHER A

HALF HOUR.

TWO HOURS

LATER.

WE'RE IN HIS \ BACKYARP/ WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. A

T NOW

REMEMBER,

YOU'RE STANPING

WATCH OUTSIPE. CALL ME ON YOUR CELL IF THERE ARE ANY SIGNS. L- OF TROUBLE.

HEY, KEEP fYOUR SHIRT

ON,

TOM

CRUISE--THIS

ISN'T MISSION

IMPOSSIBLE/

MIKE PRIES OPEN A WINPOW ANP LOWERS IJIAACCI llirn HIS IJIC NEIGHBOR'S MCI/^IJQOD'C BASEMENT. £2 AAChlT HIMSELFC INTO

AT ALL ^ rTHISLOOK JUNK, LOOKS IT

LIKE A RUMMAGE SALE AT STEPHEN KING'S HOUSE.

L .

II ’

TOO RISK// WE HAVE MORE THAN ENOUOH/ PON'

XT'S

you THINK TOO SMALL. WAIT HERE, I'LL BE BACK IN TEN MINUTES.

.OET OREEPy'^.

BACK AT KROLL'S HOUSE.

WHEN THE^^M ALARM IN MY CAR I HAP TO COME BACK ANP INVESTIOATE--WELL,

HOUSE r WENT OFF WELL, tv

IF IT

ISN'T

MY NEXT-POOR NEIGHBOR/

PON'T MOVE

OR I'LL shoot you/

F r

KROLL?/

BUT

yOU'RE

SUPFOSEP TO BE AT THE OALLERy IN NEW A yORK/

LOOK, UH, X CAN EXPLAIN...

Â£

YOU CAN EXPLAIN ALL

YOU

LIKE TO THE POLICE.

THERE'S NO NEED TO CALL THE COPS...

m % eTH

m ,

AFTER OETTINO BACK TO HIS HOUSE, M IKE TOLD LINDA WHAT HAPPENED. THEN HE SHOWERED, CHANGED CLOTHES, AND TOGETHER, THEY OOT INTO THEIR CAR AND DROVE TO THEIR STORAGE UNIT OUTSIDE OF THE NEXT TOWN...

A FEW DAYS LATER, THE OWNER OF THE NEW YORK ART OALLERY CALLED THE

CRANWELL POLICE TO REPORT THAT THEY HAD BEEN UNABLE TO REACH KROLL. THE POLICE CHECKED KROLL'S

HOUSE AND FOUND

HIS BODY...

A /EAR WENT

BY,

LIFE WENT ON IN THE TOWN OF CRANWELL. ANP PEOPLE FOROOT

/ABOUT THE ARTIST

WHO WAS MURPEREP. BUT THERE WERE TWO PEOPLE WHO PIP NOT FOROET...

BUT BEFORE MIKE AND LINDA COULD TAKE ANY MORE OF THE PAINTINOS OUT, THEY" HEARD THE SOUND OF SOMETHING SCRAPINO AOAINST THE ASPHALT ON THE OROUND. AND THEN THAT TERRIBLE SMELL SUDDENLY COT MUCH, MUCH WORSE... OH,

MY LORDrVl

>CHOKE< CORPSES/ ^ LIKE THE ONES IN

JUST

KROLL'S PA INTINOS/

ONLY THESE ARE REAL/ AND THAT ONE IS ^ DRESSED IN KROLL'Sj CLOTHES/

AND THE ^ /OTHERS... THAT f

BLUE DRESS... THE v

STRIPED SHIRT... THEY'RE KROLL'S

MODELS//

E.*E5

THE NEXT DAY THE POLICE FOUND MIKE AND LINDA DEAD. THEY'D BOTH HAD HEART ATTACKS. THE ODDS OF THAT HAPPENING, ACCORDING TO THE MEDICAL EXAMINER, INCS WERE RECOVERED, AND SENT TO JACK KROLL'S ONLY LIVINO RELATIVEj AN OLD Â£UNT, WHOM, FOR SOME REASON, THOUGHT THEY WERE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINOS SHE D EVER SEEN.

YOU GOT TO ADMIT, THOSE MORBID MASTERPIECES ARE WORTH DIEING FOR! EXCUSE

ME FOR A SECOND AS GET ALL BIBLICAL ON MY CRYPT-GUESTS...

THERE! A LITTLE WISDOM OF SOLOMON NEVER HURT ANYONE! HOPE THEYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;VE LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON...

>CHOKE<

...JUST LIKE

THOMAS DONALLEY WILL

IN I

THIS

CALL...

TALE

AN ABOMINATION BOPN OF NATURE, RADIOACTIVE WASTE, AND EVIL/ I

sufii

BEHOLP CeOC-O'ZOIOt

TOMMy.'

”ape you still” PLAyiNS WITH

THOSE HOPPI6LE DOLLS?

you'ce

”

SONNA BE LATE FOP WOP K.'

THEy APEN'T DOLLS, MOM.'

THEy'PE

FULLy-^

POSEABLE, MICPOAPTICULATED ACTION FISUPES' A

^ Ll

rr ‘

/ /'aND I WASN"''\3H'EVEN LOOKING AT 'EM.' V, (

y//K. v

'(U

CCUO! THAT cpeepy guy

I HATE THE WAy HE TALKS LIKE HE KNOWS EVEPyTHINS.'

IS WOPKIN G ,

m Jrtm*

TODAy.'

wMi

iyl

[< j

J\ â&#x20AC;¢

y l

Arr^

i p

THINS OP PENULTIMATE EXCELLENCE, WHEPE HAVE yOU SEEN M WHOLE LIFE?

~~7r

peoeASLy bettep IP WE DONT HANDLE IT. SEPIOUS COLLECTOPS WILLING TO DPOP A HUNDPED BUCKS ON

PIECE LIKE THIS APE PICKy ABOUT CONDITION.

I CAN FIND A DOZEN OF THESE ONLINE FOP

HALF

THAT.'

I'LL BE PPICINS UP yO-SI-MON CAPDS

TOMMy/ I THOUSHT I TOLD you TO SO TO BE 0!

BUT LATEP THAT

NISHT...

I CAN'T EVEN FIND A PICTUPE

IT.'

Wi won't^B 1

SLEEP 1 A WINK HAVE

â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

IF I

to woppy ABOUT WHAT you APE UP k TO DOWN {

* I

WHy DIDN'T

ASK HIM WHAT

THE STUPID THINS

WAS

IF yOU NEED ANy vv>> MOPE HELP,

CALLED?.'

HEPE.'

A HUNDRED

Hey, will you loan ME A HUNDRED SUCKS

UNTIL PAyDAy?

DOLLARS?.'

WHAT DO yOU^ NEED A HUNDRED DOLLARS POP? .

f ,'j)

' i

IT'S FOP My \ COLLECTION/^^H

^ C'MON/^ you i'll

^ ASSOLUTELy ^

PAy

SACK.'

you've sot ENOUSH DOLLS AS IT IS.'

not.'

Â«

-v

IF IT

WAS

one of youp

STUPID CUTIEZ FISUPINES, you'D sive it

ME.'

^WATCH yOUR^^ MOUTH, yOUNS MAN, OP I'LL START chapsins you POP

^POOD AS AIN.' NOW SO TO

BED.'

^ I DON'T CAPE WHAT SHE SAyS .'

I'VE

SOT TO

SET THAT MONEy SOMEHOW' r

a pe you

THE HOUPS SEEM TO FLy BY AS THOMAS EXAMINES HIS

ILL-SOTTEN SAIN

UNTIL...

HOME FPOM WOPK, TOMMy?

y£AH, MOM.'

>USH< I'M TOO TO KEEP My £y£S FOCUSED ANyLONSEP. 1

TIPED [

EVEN IF THE DPASON'S HOAPD WILL SIVE ME HALF OF WHAT I PAID FOP THAT IMPOPT FISUPE, I STILL WON'T HAVE ENOUSH TO PAY

MACMILLANS BACK BY IT tomoppow.' rminn

vâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;

MAYBE THEY'LL BUY

SOME OF MY OTH-

HOW COULD you?

TOMMy,

WHAT'S WCONS with you?.' >

^ r

WE'VE

SOT

yOUP STATEMENT. WE'U. CALL

you IF WE HAVE ANy QUESTIONS.

> r rj 1

Hi/

EVENT, ^WE'PEANy soppy FOP IN

youp loss.

^ ^

/JJ

CAN'T BELIEVE

THOSE STUPID COPS, NEVEP SUSPECTED A

THINS.'

ALSO, DON'T LEAVE TOWN. UH,

THANKS. I

MEAN,

WON'T.

HÂ£y, WHAT'S THAT?.'

III

HELLO?.'

ALPISHT,

WHOEVEP you APE.' I'VE HAD JUST A80UT ENOUSH OF THIS.' .

AAASH'

AAAAAAGH!

TAKE

THAT.'

OW!

AND THAT/ OW!

THIS CAN'T ee HAPPENING.'

I .

AAAA&Hf

HAVE

TO GET OUT OF HEPE' ^

you/

NOOOOOOf

you spousht THEM TO LIFE SOMEHOW.'

HOW COULD YOU TUPN My OWN FULLy.

POSEA6LE, MICPO-APTICULATED ACTION FICUPES

^^ASAINST ME?

STAy AW Ay.'

rrr A

<SOOC> 7

LOQO! NO/‘

NOOOOOOf

Noooooooor

Translation:

“SUPER EVIL DEMON ROBOT!

“COMES TO LIFE! WRECKS YOUR HOME!

“NOW 250% MORE CURSED!"

“FOR SERIOUS

COLLECTORS ONLY”

MAKE SURE TO ACCURATELY DEGRADE! AFTER ...I ALL, IF THERE’S ANYTHING YOU LEARN IN A CRYPT, IT’S HOW TO GET YOUR COLLECTIBLES SLABBED! AND CERTAINLY MADE SURE TO PACK EVERYTHING SECURELY! FIND THAT PINE BOXES WORK BEST FOR ME— ALTHOUGH THE SHRED-EX GUY DOESN’T SEEM TO APPRECIATE IT! I

SO, LET’S NOT WAIT ^ A HALF CENTURY UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN! BE BACK IN JUST SIXTY DAYS FOR MORE TALES . FROM THE CRYPT!

Return of

TALES FRO THE CRYPT t's

one of

I before all-new flagship

Keeper,

world of comics And graphic novel publishing! Shortly Papercutz announced that we would be publishing

the biggest surprises in the

2007

the

New York

Comic Con,

FROM THE CRYPT comics.

TALES

After

than 50 years,

Comics' legendary

returns with all-new shocking SuspenStories, narrated by the original Crypt-

title

Old Witch, and Vault

Keeper. Each issue will feature

two 20-page

tales

of terror in the

tradition!

Reactions ranged from excitement -from fans thrilled to see the most famous horror comicbook ever return after over

known

for

fifty

years, to

graphic novels such as

its

suitable for all-ages, as the

amount of adult

HBO TALES FROM THE CRYPT series certainly contained

fair

content.

"People forget that the original

Comics back

was to be coming from a publisher primarily Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys which contain material

shock-that

in the 50s,

was

FROM THE CRYPT comicbook,

TALES

also intended for all-ages,

and

its

published by the EC primary readership was young

boys,” Papercutz Editor-in-Chief Jim Salicrup is quick to point out. But that may be exactly what fans find so controversial. The original TALES FROM TE1E CRYPT comics, featuring stories dreamed up by EC publisher William M. Gaines and his editor A1 Feldstein, and drawn by Feldstein, as well as Graham Ingles, Jack Davis, Jack Kamen, Joe Orlando, Wally Wood, Harvey Kurtzman, Bill Elder, Reed Crandall, Johnny Craig, A1 Williamson, George Evans, and colored by Marie Severin, started a horror comics craze that soon drew the attention of psychiatrist Dr. Frederick Wertham. Wertham reacted to horror comics' popularity with children by writing a book called "Seduction of the Innocent,” which maintained that comics led to juvenile delinquency and even worse behavior. Parents were understandably alarmed, and soon the Senate Subcommittee to Investigate Juvenile Delinquency was taking a hard look at comicbooks. EC Comics publisher Bill Gaines spoke before the Subcommittee, but was unable to convince them that his comics were entertaining stories told in good taste. Ultimately, comicbook publishers adversely affected by the negative publicity created the Comics Magazine Association of America which would review comics and award a seal of approval to assure parents that the comic's contents were safe,

wholesome

entertainment.

it was too late for many publishers, as the negative publicity had so hurt sales of many comicbook companies went out of business. EC Comics, tried to hang in new titles such as "Valor” and MAD comics, in a new magazine format, survived. The question is, was TALES FROM CRYPT really all that bad? “Of course not!” Salicrup insists. “Ironically, many of the original stories would be approved by today's revised Comics Code, but sure, there were some stories that still wouldn’t get by. The point here is that the stories that

Unfortunately,

comics that

but despite canceling their horror comics, and creating

there,

"Psychoanalysis,” only

Papercutz will be creating will be aimed at readers age 10 and up. Instead of excessive blood and gore, we’ll be sticking to the esting characters, lots of dark

But ultimately

it’s

you who

TALES

Place, Ste. 1308, issue,

which

When and

it’s

FROM THE CRYPT tradition of stories filled with

humor, and of

will decide

salicrup@papercutz.com or to

course, the trademarked

succeeded or

failed.

EC "shock”

inter-

endings!"

Send your comments

to us at

THE CRYPT-KEEPER’S CORNER, PAPERCUTZ,

New York, NY

coming your way

10005. We'll run the in just

most

interesting

days.

reached for comment, The Crypt-Keeper said,

about time! Ahahahah!”

40 Exchange comments in our next

"It's

good

to be back, boils

and ghouls-

HI fn

1 FROM /

:wi

30071

FEATURING

THE CRYPT-KEEPER

SvltiLttK'SCi

THE

WELCOME TO MY “ OPEN CRYPT," BOILS AND GHOULS! SINCE SHIPPING OUT THE OLD WITCH AND THE VAULTKEEPER I’VE BEEN LOOKING TO RENT OUT MY TOMB-WITH-A-VIEW!

MY ONLINE POST ON CRAZED’S US HAS GOTTEN TERRIFIC RESULTS! JUST LOOK AT ALL THESE APPUCANTS DYING TO RENT SPACE IN MY COZY CRYPT! _3_ REMINDS ME OF A *T£La TALE CALL... I

NUMBEP

S13 ISEP AVENUE HAS seen 8ETTEP DAYS,

THPOUSH CPIMY WINDOWS, ITS TENANTS WATCH SNOWFLAKES COVEP THE STREETS WITH A FINE, WHITE COAT, KNOWINS THAT THE SNOW HEPALDS A COLD THAT WON'T BE HELD BACK BY SHODDY INSULATION AND IPPESULAP BLASTS OF HEAT.

YES, LIFE AT G13 ISEP AVENUE IS

HAPD

YOU ASK

ANYONE...

EXCEPT OAMES WINCHELL,

ANYONE

ITS

CHEAPSKATE LANDLOPD.

'BY!

WHEN YOU

SONNA

FIXXA HEAT?

BEEN WOPKIN' FOP DAYS'

AIN'T

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; TWO-YEAP^ LEASE AND YOU WANT TO PAISE US BY THtPTY PBQ-

cbntp

MISTEP

WAITIN'

WEEK.'

iftv.c

tflNfflC,

nv'L

WE BEEN ONNA NEW

WINCHELL'

^ FPIDSE FOP A

.WHAT?

HP come r OOWNyou HEPE IN YOUP 1

FANCY CAP AND HAVE THE NEPVE TO OVEPCHAPSE US FOP BPOKEN FLOOPS AND FAULTY HEAT, jk

you put oup MONE y into youp POCKETS INSTEAD OF BACK INTO THE BUILDINS WHICH NEEDS

MOPE

THAN EVEP.

h*.

MPS. WILKES IN S>-8 IS EISHTY-TWO. HEP HEAT HASN'T WOPKED IN A WEEK.'

^WHILE yOU'PE^ LIVINS LAPSE, SHE'S FPEEZINS v TO DEATH'

WELL, SHE CAN

for WAPM HEPSELF WITH V KNOWLEDGE

THE THAT By KEEPING THE HEAT LOW SHE'S SAVINS ME MONEY AND HELPINS PAY FOP M FAMILY'S HOLIDAY ' SIFTS .

MOVED BY THE TESTIMONy AND 613 ISEP, HANDS DOWN A SENTENCE TO JAMES WINCHELL, CHEAPSKATE LANDLORD. THE JUDSE,

PHOTOS OF SPECIAL-

WINCHELL IS OPDEPED TO LIVE IN ONE OF HIS PPOPEPTIES FOP AN ENTIPE MONTH TO UNDEPTENANTS.

STAND WHAT HE'S DONE TO

HIS

AS BAD AS 613 ISEP AVENUE IS, THE 8UILDINS DOESN'T COMPAPE TO NUMBEP 666 COLT STPEET. POOPLY MANASED, THE TWO-EAMILY BPOOKLYN

HOME

BPOICEN AND

NEGLECTED— ftfea.

—

INCLUDINS THE ADJACENT CEMETEPY FOPSOTTEN BY SUSY PELATIVES AND AVOIDED BY LOCAL GANGS.

THE SUILDINS IS CUPPENTLY EMPTY, AND JAMES WINCHELL IS PPOUD THAT HE CONVINCED THE COUPT TO INSTALL HIM IN HIS ONLY PPOPEPTY THAT HAS NO TENANTS.

DESPITE OPDEPS NOT to imppove the ppopepty, he MOVES IN WITH STATE-OP-THE-APT SADSETS AND SEVEPAL SPACE HEATEPS, AND AS SUCH HIS FIPST FEW DAYS APE A 6PEEZE.

SHOULD 6Â£ HOME

M y TUG. ..SIS .

STEAK...A

GOTTLE OP

WINE...

...GUT

INSTEAD

I'M HEPE TPyiNS

TO FIX THE HEAT IN "MONSTEP HOUSE''/

ONLy TWENTySEVEN MOPE DAyS-

WHOAAH&GH'

..OWCH.

STUPID FLASHLIGHT.

WHEBE ABE YOU? OKAy, ^MATCHES, THEN.

Ni^

SEPIOUSLY^,

WHEPE'S THE SUPEP WHEN /OU NEED him?

LEMME if you

know

FIND HIM.

SOTTA

COMPLAINT

ASOUT THE .

NOISE.

CELL PHONE? WHEPE'S My CELL? I CAN'T SEE IN THE DAPK AH' HEPE'S THE PHONEâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;' I'LL k fch^CALL THE COPSf^fr

SEPIOUSLy,

you SOT TENANTS .THAT SOT NEEDS.

THE POLICE.' THE POLICE WILL .

SAVE

ME...

.NO DIAL TONE.

CELL PHONE.

WHEPE DID

PUT IT?

- JAMES WINCHELL = NEVEP FINDS HIS PHONE. NOP DOES * HE SET A WINK OF SLEEP.

NEW "TENANTS" KNOCK AT HIS HIS

DO OP, EACH WITH HIS OP HEP UNIQUE COMPLAINT.

.THE

KNOCKINS STOPS.

THE KNOCKINS SPOWS LOUDEP AND WINCHELL SHIVEPS IN THE DAPKNESS, AFFECTED QY THE COLD AND TEPPOP, AND IN THE MOPNINS... j-t iy*-] |

DOWN HEPE, DEAP... DO STOP DAWDLINS OP WE'LL

—IT'S OUST

^ OH, NOTHIN©^ A HOT TEA WON'T FIX, s.

MISTEP

NEVEP SET THEPE. I'M

THE SAME CAN'T BE SAID FOP THE CONDITIONS I’M LIVINS IN, THOUSH.

ALONS AND ^COMEshow you.

I'LL

NOT

7 WOPPIED ABOUT ~ THE COLD, MISTEP WINCHELL...TPUTH BE TOLD, THE BROKEN HEAT NEVEP

WINCHELL.

BOTHERED ME.

but i WON'T ABIDE

FILTHY LIVINS CONDITIONS,.. >

& §

-o' 'c> 60 y

EVEN IF I'M DEAD.

you AIN'T DONE. 50 ME PUNK PAINTED OVEP My HEAD5TONE AND TUPNED UP THE DIPT. IT'S FPEEZIN'

IfK.

M PS. WILKES' SAID FIXED HEP PLOT I'D 6E LEFT ALONE.'

WHAT P GUT IF I

IN THEPE.'

SHE SAID THAT SHE'LL LEAVE .

you ALONE. NOeODy SAID ANYTHINÂ© ASOUT US.

EITHEP

SET TO N fWOPK OP WE'LL HAUNT YOU ALL NISHT, EVEPy NISHT UNTIL YOU FINALLY AIN'T L THE LANDLOPDJ

r ...guT ^ ONE OP US

HEPE...

TENANTS.

TOO BAD WiNCHELL DIDN’T HAVE A CONSIDERATE TENANT LIKE MINE! ^

r SEE, HE’S EVEN A HEAD .IN THE RENT!

WHAT THE WERTHAM

—

THESE BOXES ARE TO BE RETURNED TO SENDER. SORRY ABOUT HITTING YOU, THE REGULAR GUY’S OFF TODAY, I’M THE BACK-UP L A ^^^£>R/VER. SIGN HERE, PLEASE^^^^^

THERE’S NOTHING

WORSE THAN A HIT-ANDPUN DRIVER!

KNOWN

RID

SHOULD’VE COULDN’T GET

OF THOSE TWO THAT EASY!

r MAYBE RICHARD HAS BETTER LUCK FINDING PARADISE IN THIS TERROR-TALE

CALL...

SATE WHEN YOU OPEN IT. POP SOME PEASON THIS PACT LEAPS OUT AT YOU AS SOON AS yOU APPIVE, THE

DOESN'T

DOESN'T CQEAbC

IT,

PICHAPO?

THE HINSES APE WELL OILED, A PPESH COAT OP PAINT GLISTENS,

AND THEPE'S NOT A SPOT OP PUST ON IT.

THE SWEETNESS OP WILOFLOWEQS BOBBINS IN THE SUN TICKLE yOUP NOSE, THE CHIPPINS OF TINy SONGBIQDS COMFOPTS yOUP EAPS. THE TPEE BOUSHS, THEY DPOOP WITH FPUIT...

_____

you took the eus to youp New HOMe.

yOU PACKED LIGHTLY POP TH6 TPIP.

JUST HOLD STILL, PICHAPD--

-AND I'LL TAKE CAPE OF THAT CPICK IN

yOUP NECK FOP you/

r WHAT

APE YOU

DOINSP STOP' you WOPK FOP ME.'

Iâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; I COMMAND you TO STOP//

DIDN'T THINK SO!

IT'S

EVEN

THOUGHT

YOU

MOPE PAINFUL THAN yOU WAS SOINS TO 8Â£, WHICH

DIDN'T THINK POSSIBLE.

OA SSED GLASS CUTTING, SLICING, TEAPINS...

youe THPOB8IN G FEET SUP AND SLIDE AND SKID ON THE SUDDEN SUCKNESS OF THE PLOOP.'

youe pupsueps, howevep, APE NOT SO HINPEPEP.

THIS IS

TIME TO CATCH

youe 8PEATH,

PICHAPD.'

you

CAN HEAP THE CPUNCHINS OF THEIP HEAVY BOOTS ON THE SLASS PISHT 6EHINP YOU!

KEEP PUNNING,

PICHAPD.'.'

youp New friends, who you met on-line.. .liiye-minoeo people who were oust as DISSATISFIED AS YOU WITH THE COPPUPTION OF THE WESTEPN WORLD, THE MINDLESS PURSUIT OF POWER... LUST... MATERIAL STATUS SYMBOLS WHEN you MET THEM FACE-TO-FACE, THEy

MADE yOU AN OFFEQ you SIMPLy COULD NOT PEFUSE!

youu. ee rewarded with a LUSH Â©ARDEN, RICHARD, COMPLETE WITH BEAUTIFUL MAIPS... EVERY SERVANT YOU COULD k THINK OF, TO WAIT ON yOU HAND AND FOOT/

...ALL THE WAy UP TO THE POLITICIANS AND THE ©ENEPALS, THEIP HANDS DPIPPIN© WITH THE BLOOD OF INNOCENTS...

...THE

PUPVEYOPS OF

SMUT THAT PASSES FOP ENTERTAINMENT THESE

DAYS...

...YOU TOLD THEM ALA IN YOUP VIDEO, DIDN'T YOU, PICHAPD? YOU TOLD THEM THE COMMITMENT YOU HAD MADE. '

SO YOU COULDN'T LET YOUPSELF BE ARRESTED, NOW COULD YOU, BEFORE YOUP TASK WAS COMPLETED? WITH THAT VIDEO AS CONCPETE EVIDENCE OF YOUP FAILURE THE HUMILIATION WOULD BE WOPSE THAN ANYTHIN© YOU COULD IMASINE

—

— THE SHAME THAT YOU HAD BOTCHED THE

ONE, SIMPLE OUTY YOUP NEW PPIENDS, YOUP FELLOW WARRIORS HAD ENTPUSTED YOU WITH-

Tliawr incredible/ the

wounds on youR peeT â&#x20AC;&#x201D; they SOON AS yOU QECEIVEO THEM.

HEALED ALMOST AS

BUT THEN, PERHAPS, ..THAT

WOULD STAND TO QEASON. APTER ALL, NO ONE CAN D/E IN THE AFTEQLIFE.

n m-4

3)070

FEATURING

THE CRYPT-KEEPER

THE OLD WITCH

THE VAULT-KEEPER /.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;fj

96 4 5306

111

~Tjh \

WASSUP WITH THE CRYPT-KEEPER?! .

GLAD YOU AXED! HE’S BEEN READING THE ONLINE REVIEWS OF HIS LATEST CRYPT COMIC! HEH HEHl

EITHER HE’S SO

f | 1

SELF-ABSORBED THAT’S GHOULGLED HIMSELF TO DEATH OR THE REVIEWS ARE

HE’S

WAY SCARIER THAN

—HE

STORIES HASN’T BUDGED IN HOURS!

\ 1

HIS

OL’ C-K REMINDS ME OF ANOTHER DESPERATELY \ NEEDY NINCOMPOOP NAMED JAYSAN! HE TOO WANTED TO BE LOVED BY MILLIONS! THAT’S WHY JAYSAN HOPED TO BECOME THE POPSTAR IDOL! HERE’S A FRIGHTENING FABLE FROM MY

WITCH'S

CAULDRON

CALLED...

W W

W J

WELL, OLD

^-^41

WITCH, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY—

EC COME, EC GO!

^HE 1

W 1

THAT’LL^

LOOK GROOVY IN

MY VAULT!

hepe at

THE PIPST DAY OF tpyouts fop next SEASON'S EDITION OF

POPSTAP TOOL —

OH, NO.'

WHY^

YOU WAKE UP?.' YOU KNEW WANTED TO BE

DIDN'T

ME I

THEPE, SLOPIA.'

—AS YOU CAN ” SEE, THE CPOWD IS IMMENSE? MANY HAVE IN LINE FOP PAYS

BEEN

TO SET k

THEIP

CHANCE TO

AUDITION FOP THE HIT SHOW'

DEJECTED GUT DETERMINED, THE POTENTIAL POPSTAP WANDERS BACK HOME... r 0ABN IT I'M CONNA SET IN LINE

LATER TONISHT TO

PREOCCUPIED WITH HIS THOUGHTS, HE DOESN'T NOTICE A LAPSE BOOK BLOCKING HIS PATH AND STUMBLES OVER IT...

LITTLE

MENT

PEAUZINS HOW TPUE HIS STATEHE FLIPS THPOUSH THE TOME...

IS,

HIDING- IN

THE SHADOWS, JAYSAN

DOESN'T HAVE TO WAIT ha.' it woacep! L NOW WHAT ?!

LONS...

BEFOPE

HIS ASTONISHED EYES, THE DEAD IS CONSUMED IN FLAMES AND A STPANSE SMOKE PISES WITH AN OFFENSIVE

MOUSE

SULFUPIC SMELL/

AND TPUE TO THE DEMON'S PCOMISE, JAYS AN AUDITIONS SEFOPE

SLYMON eOWBLL, APAULA O'POUL, AND P£N£LL JAXON/ OH, eoy, HEPE'S @[SIVE HIM A CHANCE/]

ANOTHEP

NUT.'

AHEAO,

SUY.'

OOOH, BABY .BABY.'

PATHETIC,

HE'S KINDA

CUTE/

I AM SO INTO YOU, MY BABY LOVE, OOH V.

YEAH/

AND

ALWAYS

HELPS***

TO HAVE A KINDA &OOFY ACT ON THE SHOW, DAWS'

PULUNS FPEE PPOM OAYSAN, SLOPIA SLIPS ON SOME SOAPY WATEP AND...

OHHH/

THEPE

OH, VO/ 0LOPIA'

APE YOU

a eieeeQ DEMON.'

NO PESPONSE AS HEP

LIFELESS BODY STAPTS TO ISNITE ON TOP THE DEMONIC SYMBOLS'

OKA/Pi

you SUMMONED MEP what is youp wishp

DIDN'T

WANT

IS IT YOUQ DESIPE TO spins1 nee QACK TO J L/FE? L.

£P, UH. A/O/ I .

THE

WOULD TAKE A

&QEATEQ

WANT TO

W7/V ON POPSTA2 i

STILL SACRIFICE

TO PEALIZE yOUP J DESIPE/

SHOW/

can you ' MAKE SUPE I SET

ACCEPTED ON SHOW?

THE,

IT IS

AND

DONE!

AAAy I

MAKE

A SU&&ESTIONP DO SOMETHIN© ABOUT

THAT W4/P>/

and so sesins

row, 646//^

JAYSAN'S SEEMINSLY

CAN'T u-t-l-ve

INEXPLICABLE pise on thc

WITHOUT

you--.'*

show, Desprre HIS QUESTIONABLE TALENT, HE

SETS A CADPE OF SCPE AMINS PANS,,.

SIMPLY

8ECAUSE HE IS

ON TV.'

JAYSAN' JAYSAN'

YBCCH' WHAT A NOlSBf HIS CONTINUED SUCCESS IS SUPELY THE WOPK OF THE

OAQY ACTS'

WE'LL SEE HOW THE VOTINS SOES TONI&HT. \ AMEPICA CAN'T 6E SO ) STUPID AS TO MAKE /

POPSTAP TOOL'

HIM THE

O-O-KAY/ WELL, CEDPIC DOESN'T

SHOW

UP SOON, HE'S OF V THE COMPETITION/ X

THAT'S A

SAFE BBT'

THE MYSTEPY OF THE MISSINS POPSTAP CONTESTANT MAKES HEADLINES WHICH FUELS DAYS AN'S SUCCESS AS THE SHOW MUST SO ON.

S’ BACKSTASE ON THE NEXT TO LAST SHOW...

do you

V HAPPENED?

AFTEP TONISHT, ONLY T TWO OF YOU WILL 8£ LEFT/ SOOO LUCK TO / OH,

THINK THEY'LL

evee find cedpic? WHAT COULD'VE >

HE^SS

PPOSA8LY COULDN'T TAKE THE HEAT AND

FLAKED OUT',

YOU ALL/

M|L

'LUCK

VIS

POP^

LESSEP MEN/ DON'T /s/eec? IT/

WHAT DO you

THINK A80UT THE FINALISTS, StyMON?

MAyee i can win on My OWN WITHOUT ANy mope oeMONtc n M HELP! RL.

AN UTTEP

TPAVBSTYT WE'VE

SEEN SOME PEAL TALENT 1 SET VOTED OFF IN FAVOP OF THAT CATEPWAULINS 8ANSHEE, JAySAN.' IF HE WINS, IT'LL 8E 0k A New LOW FOP MUSICAL^ r

STANOAPOS/

H I -1

I WOULD WIN \ IF rr WASN'T FOP THAT A | SOWELL ALWAyS 6AP-

MOUTHING ME.' HE JUST VOTED HIMSELF AS TOP FINALIST FOP THE ULTIMATB SACPIFICB THAT WILL

ASSUPE My

VICTOPy.'

THE AFTERNOON OF THE PINAL SHOW, JAYSAN APPANSES A MEETING WITH SLyMON...

HOO-HAH!

FINALLY A “REALITY” TV SHOW THAT’S

TRUE TO

LIFE,

AS SLYMON

WAS ABLE TO DEMONSTRATE!

p* '

LOOK— DUG UP ONE OF THE CRYPTI

KEEPER'S RARE COMICS— IT’S

GOOD LORD!

ENTOMBED IN PLASTIC, MUST BE VALUABLE!

JUST TOSS IT IN WITH THE REST OF THE STUFF WE’RE TAKING OFF C-K’S HANDS!

THOUGHT THEY’D NEVER LEAVE! HI, BOILS AND GHOULS, LET ME TELL YOU THE TERRIFYING TRUTH BEHIND THAT COMICBOOK THOSE TWO GHOULUNATICS RIPPED-OFF . WHILE WAS LURKING IN MY i FAVORITE SCREAM-ROOM!

^ JUST LIKE WHAT YOU CALL AN OVER-PRICED COMICBOOK DE-GRADED AND

IMPRISONED IN PLASTIC, CALL THIS TERROR-TALE... I

LIKE THE WOPLD ITSELF, COMICBOOKS EMBODY THE FOPCES OF GOOO AND BtttJ A

PPIMAL, TITANIC ^

UNLIKE THE

WOPLD,

WT [

DUDE

MAN, THE OLD IS WACK/

THAT'S WHY f I'VE DEVOTED MY ' LIFE TO SATHEPINS

HE TALKS LIKE A COMIC HIMSELF/

THESE FINE HEQOES W UNDEP ONE /

COMICS,

JUSTICE CAN L.

PULE/

TO THINK THEIP COLLECTED ENEPSY INFOPMS THE VEPY SPICKS WITH AN UNEPPINS jk SENSE OF JUSTICE/

I LIKE .

V-

r UH.„Y£AH.^ YOU PAY CASH, v

PISHT?

is®

poof/

IT'S THE CONDITION I'M soppy, IT'S SEEN

PE AD

TOO OFTEN.'

1 .

NOOO! I CAN'T PICO WITH FIVE BUCKS/

SO SACK TO

WHAT AM

^ SONNA DO.?* ,

MUCH OF THE ENEPSY HAS SEEN DCAINEOf

IT'S PPACTICALLY

USELESS TO

ME/

YEAH? OUST

youve useless TO ME/ ^ v

YOU KNOW,

KIDDIES, IT’S JUVENILE DELINQUENTS SUCH AS DERRICK THAT GIVE COMICS A REALLY BAD NAME! >

OH, NO! THIS?!

WHAT’S

THOSE THE OLD WITCH AND THE VAULT-KEEPER, TRADED THE IDIOTS,

MOST VALUABLE COMIC IN THE WORLD, TO GET INTO k.

ANOTHER COMIC!

THEY’RE

DOWNGRADING THAT COMIC TO TORE-MINT CONDITION!

IF SHE DROPS THAT CAR, THEY’LL HAVE TO RE-TITLE THE BOOK TRACTION COMICS!

OH, THE

HORROR—

THE HORROR!

WITH US ON THE^ COVER WE SHOULD DRIVE PRICES UP, .

UP AND AWAY!

SOUNDS

YOU’VE BEEN TO THE FORTRESS OF ATTITUDE! s

UNLESS WE JUST DESTROYED THE COMICS INDUSTRY AGA/N-DON’T MISS THE NEXT SHOCK-FILLED, SUPER-SCAREFYING, NIGHTMARE-INSPIRING, CRITIC-BAITING, COLLECTORS ITEM ISSUE OF TALES FROM THE CRYPT!

FEATURING

NO! THIS

CANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T BE REAL!

THE CRYPT-KEEPER

THE VAULT-KEEPER

WELCOME TO THE CRYPT OF TERROR, HORROR FIENDS! YES, IT’S ME AGAIN... THE CRYPT-KEEPER! BACK AGAIN TO HOST MY M AD-MAG, TALES FROM THE CRYPT! _

NOW

YOU W JUST GOT TO GET ^ f AWAY FROM THE OLD SEE, I’VE

WITCH AND THE VAULTKEEPER! EVER SINCE THE

UNSPEAKABLE HAPPENED BACK IN THE 50s, THOSE TWO HAVE BEEN BUZZING AROUND ME LIKE FLIES OVER A FRESH CORPSE! .THEIR

CONSTANT JIBBER-

k JABBER HAS

DRIVEN

ME TOO AN EARLY

MAY LOOK

LIKE I’VE HIT

BOTTOM,

LAYING HERE IN THIS GRUESOME OPEN GRAVE, BUT THE TERRIFYING TRUTH IS I’M REALLY BACK IN THE CRYPT OF TERROR. YOU’RE JUST LOOKING AT THE VIRTUAL CRYPT-KEEPER!

WHICH REMINDS ME OF THIS FEAR-FABLE ABOUT A RATHER DESPICABLE CHARACTER CALLED STONY BLAKE, A DRUG DEALER WHO WAS WIRED FOR SOUND. CONFUSED? DON’T BE - SOON EVERYTHING WILL BE...

FOP STONY BLAYe, UF6 WAS sooo.

He COULO BBAT ONe OF HIS CPYSTAL MSTH cuswMees to a pulp

who owes

-ANO BPOAOCAST THe IMASe TO HIS PISHTHANO STOOSe ANO eNFOPCFP, CUPLY.

him

MONey-

NOW, DPU©©IE, I SAVE you SOMETHIN© to be <?EAu.y PAPANOID ABOUT. J

©ET WHAT yOU OWE ME,

op youli. wish you ©ETTIN© VWEPE ByONLy My k

FISTS.

HIT

STAyiN© ALIVE

ECONOMICAL!^ WASN'T A PPOBLEM FOP A OPU© ENTPEPPENEUP LIKE STONy, WHO LIVED MUCH OF HIS LIFE

PHONE.

STONy MADE A LOT OF CONTACTS FLyiN© HIS PLANE

OVEP BOPDEPS AND STATE LINES AND WHEN PETUPNIN© TO HIS MID-WESTEPN HOMETOWN, OVEP

FAPMLANDS TPyiN© TO STAy ECONOMICALLy

ALIVE.

MAN WHO KNEW A MAN

WHO KNEW A WOMAN TOLD HIM THEy'D PEPPECTED A CELLPHONE FOP PEOPLE TO HAVE THE ULTIMATE COMMUNICATION.

CINE-PHONE

ON THE

-4

THEY D CALLED IT NEUPAL INTEPFACING. IT WAS THE COMING

yeAH.

SOPPy

I COULDN'T ge these to help you, sTONy.

THING.

IMPLANTED COMMUNICATION DEVICES. CAPAGLE OF TPANSMITTING AND PECEIVING AUDIO

AS WELL AS

VIDEO.

DON'T

SWEAT .

IT,

CUPLy.

PEPFECT FOP STONy. THE PHONE WAS HIS LIFELINE, DOING DEALS, LISTENING TO DESPEPATE ADDICTS. THE LIVE ONES, OF COUPSE. NOT THE

DEAD ONES,

DON'T^

MIND GETTING M y HANDS

oiPTy.

DAMON

SMALL TOWN FOLKS LIKe TO gossip, you

KNOW

I HFAPD you 'D eecoMe a nupsf,

Me,

THAT TPUe?

THAT.

SOMF OF TH656 PUMOPS FLyiNS

APOUND --

<C 2> AP6—'PEOPLE FLAPPING >

7THeiP

SUMS THAT ( jLyou'pe sfluns > DPUGS.

OUST WANT you TO KNOW,

don't eeueve a

^ WOPD

(

TFLu

youA

WHAT- -

IT.

^WHy DON'T you™/ Me takf you out TO DINNCP, AND We'LL TALK ABOUT DAMON AND yOU AND Me ^AND OLD TIMeS. lft

you AND

THE THREE OP US WERE SO CLOSE

GROWING

UP.

r PEMEMGER WHEN

^^^

WE USED TO SWING ON THAT OLD SWING DOWN 1 Gy THE MARSH...EVEN J WHEN WE WEREN'T . SUPPOSED

DID A LOT

OF THINGS WE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO.

TO.

WHy DON'T > you COME SEE My NEW SPREAD,

k NANCy LEE?

THINK

COULD GOTH STAND NOT GEING ALONE

TONIGHT.

stcw Loves

it ;

he peveLS in showing NANcy Lee how pap He has coMe, THe Acees of land, thb IMPOSING House, THe exouisue TPAPPINGS.

THIS'LL

Give cuPLy

THPILL.

MAKS HIM JeALOUS to scat THe SAND.

LBT Me HOLD yOU, NANcy Lee. lbj Me qb with you THe wAy we wepe whcn we Nevep xNew Liee could GeT SO HAPD.

STONY CAN'T QUITE PATHOM WHAT HAPPENED. J

THEPE

WAS

NANCY LEE'S WAPMTH AND

CLOSENESS—

—AND

THEN

COLD AND DAPK.

WHAT

IS THIS? HE CAN'T MOVE.'

ON HIS OWN BED, AND HE CAN'T TWITCH A PINSEP, HE'S

MOVE AN APM, MOVE A

LES.

THIS ISN'T

HOW

SUPPOSED TO

IT IS

BE.

AS SOON AS I PETUPNED TO THIS TOWN AND SAW yOUP HOUSE, SAW ALL THIS, ALL THE PUMOPS j WEPE TPUE.

kl KNEW

THIS PLACE...

EVEPyTHINS

you

HAVE...

WAS

ALL SOUSHT

.DPUS MONEy.

^ MONEy My COST

THAT

> V

SPOTHEP

HIS LIFE.

r THAT'S WHEN \ I DECIDED yOU WEPEN'T COINS TO SET AWAy j

WITH

IT.

I'D SEEN ^ YENTEPTAININS

THE IDEA

PPOM

THE TIME yOU WEPE NUZZLINS

THAT'S WHy I 8POUSHT THIS ALONS ON OUP

My NECK AT THE V

PESTAUPANT.

LITTLE DATE.

r a NiPTy > OPUS THAT .

LOVE WATCHINS

you Tpy TO MOVE, AND THE PANIC IN yOUP EyES, as you pealize you CAN'T/ S.

IMMOBILIZES the eooy.'

STONy WANTS TO SCPEAM SANITy BACK INTO HEP. HE WANTS TO SCPEAM FOP PESCUE, 8UT KNOWS HE'S BUILT HIS HOUSE FAP FPOM PPyiNS £y£S AND EAPS.

you HEAP THIS,

STONy/ My

^BPOTHEP—

-WON'T BE THE ONLY

ONE—

-8UPIED

TODAy/

NANCY/ WHAT APE you doins?

^^LET'S THIN^

ABOUT WHAT

^yOU'PE

DOINS,

OK Ay?_^

IF ONL.y HIS CAMEPA PHONE WEPE ON. IF ONLy HE COULD SET THE THINS TO SWITCH ON.

WOULD BE A WHOLE

DIFFEPENT STOPy, THEN.'

you CAN TAKE IT^ TO THE BANK, STONy. I'VE BEEN DOINS A L. LOT OF THINKINS^

”

r NO

ONE'S SOINS TO HEAP

you OP L.

FIND

you.

and you IN youp

KNOW

HEAPT OF HEAPTS, STONy— >

—NO ONE^^ r r HEPEABOUTS IS PEALLy SOINS TO

look fop you

TOO

HAPD.

STONY, CAN you HEAP ME NOW? CAN you HEAP.,?

Yyou,HEAP ^ cuPLy I

can you SEE WHAT I SEE?

yEAH. NISHT SKY/

WHEPE APE yOU? WHAT HAPPENED? STONy: IT'S

THE CPAZy

SISTEP, CUPLy'

SHE'S

SOTX

ME ZONKED OUT

ON SOME

^ OF

KIND

DPUS.

DON'T EVEN HAVE THE ^ TWITCH OF A DEATH I

NEPVE, THAT'S HOW STPONS THIS )

STONy ALMOST HAS A HEAPT ATTACK WHEN HE HEAPS CUPLy'S VOICE, LOUD WITH CONCEPN IN HIS EAP.

THE CAMEPA PHONE/ IT'S ON/ MUST HAVE TPISSEPED THE

MECHANISM WHEN HE WHACKED HIS HEAD INTO THE COFFIN BOTTOM/

STUFF

IS/

LISTEN, CUPty, THIS

NUTSO'S SOT ME A COFFIN. yOU HEAP THAT?

^ r

WE 'PE SOINS OFF POAD, cupLy.' you see THAT? A

WHAT

SEEINS IS OUST NISHT SKy whizzins ey.

you PEALty SOTTA HEAP ME

I'M STILL

NOW.' NO FOOLINS APOUN0.'

^ ,

yOU HAFT A SIVE ME SOMETHINS TO SO ON.' I

FPOM

MEAN,

THE STAPS,

^ GUT THEPE'S ”

APPEAPS TO ME yOUP TPAVELINS s.

NOPTHWEST.

A WHOLE LOTTA NOPTHWEST OUT k.

HEPE'

J J

UH, OH,

WHAT?

w eve I .

stopping/ SMELL...SWAMP.

MAPSHLAND.

r you SET

YEAH,

THAT, CUQLYPj

SOT

BUT WHAT SOOO'S

OF LANDMAPK. r

SONNA DO ME 'LESS YOU CAN SIVE ME SOME SOPT _«•

7 *—»

*-7

HE MT

'Cf 1

L 'JTthepe'pe miles^^^^H ~ZI OF SWAMP AND *

MOSQUITOES.

•

^\)/ V\i

=7i vw r

MB ,i

Y r

SINCE ABOUT THE TIME YOU

^ 1

WEPE NUZZLINS My NECK FOP youp j [V AUDIENCE.

W ^ f you SOT AH'

SEE

youp PHONE WOPKINS ASAIN. POP A MINUTE I

WAS APPAID yOU'D LOST youp MIND AND WEPE

f you

8A88LINS TO

youp-

KNOW

ABOUT M EMBEDDED CAMEPA PHONE?

SELF.

r TH£y 'LL

KNOW youp PATE.'

|^Fthats

^ yOU

THAT COULD 8E A

sood J 'LL

HAVE

SOOD

COMPANy TO SEE you THPOUSH TO k.

THE END.

r ,

THINS.

MAySE^^®

r WHOEVEP'S ON ^ THE OTHEP END WILL SEE THE EPPOP OF A

\sTheip WAys^^^j

^^^^PEALIZE THIS^^^H WHAT HAPPENS TO LEECHES LIKE

you.'

OH, MAN, CLU?L.y.'^ SHE'S UP TO SOMESHE'S SHOVIN© THE COFFIN OFF THE

you ©IMME ONE CLUE THAT PINPOINTS WHEPE

THIN©.' k

TPUCK. r

you APE, QOSS, AND I'M THEPE.'

WAITAMINNtT/ I...I

SEE

SOMETHIN©.

WHAT IS

THAT?

KNOW

AM, hmm IKNOW

CUCLYf 1 .

WHeee iam'a

CAN you HEAP Me now, cuply?

I'm exACTty

atâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;

— SEEMS A PUTINS PLACE POP you TO

THIS k

SPEND ETEPNITY, STONY/

THE PLACE

WHEPE WE SPEW UP—

—eEPOPE^

yOU BETPAyED1 US ALL/

BNOQyf

ONLy ANOTHEP PEW

SECONDS AND HE COULD BE SAVED.

IT ISN'T FAIP/ HIS

MIND SCPEAMS

— BECAUSE HIS MOUTH CANNOT/

IN THE WOPLD HE SUPPOSED TO WITH THAT IMASE?

WHAT IS

CUPLy SQUINTS AT WHAT IS IN THE CENTEP OF THE SMALL IMASE. WHAT IS THAT?

A CHILD'S SWINS? FPAME CUPLy,

AS A USELESS NOPMAN POCKWELL SCENE? FOP ABOUT AS PAP PEMOVED FPOM HIS WOPLD MEANS NOTHINS. NOTHINS AT ALL.

IT'S

AS THAT

PAINTINS. IT

WW V Bi

CAN YOU FEAR ME NOW?

GOOD ONE, OLD WITCH! REALLY DUG IT AND STONEY’S HEAD-PHONE,

j |

J ^k

TOO!

HATE

TO SAY IT, BUT C-K ISN’T A PARTICULARLY GRACIOUS HOST. WHEN HE’S ONLINE IT’S AS IF HE’S IN ANOTHER WORLD! SUSPECT HE’S N. A I

AVOIDING US!

^^^k CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR HIS NEXT SCARY STORY! MAYBE I’LL JUST LOOK INSIDE THIS ISSUE OF TALES FROM THE CRYPT #4 - IF CAN JUST k GET IT OUT OF THIS j I

W-

PLASTIC CASE...!

NOOOO! VAULT-KEEPER, YOU OLD ROTTING IGNORAMUS! YOU’RE TAMPERING WITH REALITY! WE CAN’T

EXIST IN MORE THAN ONE WORLD AT A TIME!

JUST CHECK OUT

WHAT HAPPENS TO ANDY DABBSTEIN WHEN HE GETS MIXED UP WITH HAVING AN..

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;

I've

seen dead fog hou ps.

KILLBO QY My FPIENDS, GOQQBO OF EVEPyTHING

OWNED, I'M THE LAT6, ONCE6GB AT, ANDy DA88STEIN.

AND SITTING H BGB ?? 6CAGB0 AND SWEATING ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT HOW TO STOP IT FPOM

HAPPENING AGAIN.

HOW TO STOP IT PPOM HAPPENING FOP

PEAL.

WAS SOPN ANDPEW

FPANCIS 0A88STEIN BUT I HAD A SECOND NAME. ANOTHER LIFE. LIVINS

TWO

LIVES WASN'T

EASY. ALMOST LIKE A CHEATEP, JUSSLINS TO KEEP A WIFE AND SIPLFPIEND APAPT. I

NEVEP CHEATED ON THOUSH. SHE

CAMMY,

KNEW EVEPy DETAIL ABOUT My LIFE., .AND My OTHEP LIFE.

EVEN THE

WOMEN

CAMMy'S SONE NOW, AS APE THE OTHEP WOMEN. THEy'PE SONE AND I'M DEAD.

THEPE.

^ CLd

WAS HONEST TO THEM ABOUT I

\ /

irt

My DUAL

LIVES

AND BECAUSE OF i

t ,

THAT, My WOPLDS COLLIDED.

BECAUSE OF THAT

WAS

KILLED

THE

BALPOSTH PLAINS.

ONLINE,

WAS EVBN9LAOE

OFFLINE, I WAS A NDy. WOPKEP AN ?y. LOyAL BOyFPIEN ANDy. SOOD o L',

A LEVEL TEN PALADIN.

NOBODy

ANDy. I

^IRll2--M^irC3D

EVENBLADE THE

HATED ANDy.

agg>g^

POAMEoT^Ht^^^ 1

OSPE CONTINENT,

VHXH seapchins fop ®m«]adv£nttjpe^

YW m

JM MM

L Mr.

I SPENT MOPE TIME IN My EXTPA LIFE THAN WITH ANDY'S APAPTMENT, ANNOyED SIPLPPIEND AND TEDIOUS 006.

EVEN6LADE HAD A LOyAL FELLOWSHIP OP EVENBLADE FPIENDS,

HAD A CAVE OF PICHES. EVENBLADE HAD HIS ADMIPINS SIPLPPIEND,

KYQA QAVBNHAtQ.

HAVE NONE OF THOSE THINSS

NOW. ANDy'S

AND

SOON...

OP EVENBLADE'S.

SOON,

EVEN HAVE ME.

WON'T

CAMMy

DIDN'T LIKE

EVEN6LA DÂ£, SHE

AN ANDy

WAS

SIPL.

THAT SUNDAy, THOUSH, SHE HAT6P ANDy. HIS LA CK OP DPIVE. HIS LA CK

INITIATIVE.

NEVEP UNDEP-

STOOD

THAT.

EVENGLADE HAD INITIATIVE AND SHE HATED

EVENGLADE.

SHE COULD 6E SO

FeUSTQATlHe'

THAT NISHT

WASN'T EVENGLADE

WHO KILLED PIPTy 6ALTHSOPIAN OSPES AND WON 800 SOLD P. IT

WAS ANOY.

THAT DAY, FOP THE FIPST TIME, ANDY WALKED THE 8LASTED LANDS. .AND .

AS OUP PAPTY EXPLOPED THE OSPE CONTINENT, I EXPLAINED THE

CAMMY

UNGUPDENED MYSELF TO THEM.

AND EVEN8LADE PAID THE PPICE.

SITUATION. HIS

SUA PD DOWN,

SOMEONE LIFTED GOO SOLD P FPOM HIS CHAINLINK GELT.

ANDY'S WALLET WENT MISSINS THE FOLLOWINS MOPNINS.

WITHOUT A METPOCAPD OP CAB PAPE, I HAD TO WALK TO WOPK.

CAMMy WOULDN'T LOAN ME THE WAS STILL ANSPY.

CASH. SHE

ANDY SOT A

SOODBYE

KISS.

LATEP THAT NISHT, AS SLEPT,

CAMMY

ANDY UNBUPDENED

HIS

HEAPT TO KYPA PAVENHAIP.

PEVEALEO PEPSONAL SECPETS I HADN'T TOLD ANYONE. EVEN CAMMY. I

ey THE NEXT MOPNINS, EVEPyTHINS WAS FINE.

CAMMy AND

MADE

UP. |

\\\\\ \

ANDY SOT A

sooosyE

KISS.

AND EVEN8LADE EM8APKEO ON A WPAITH HUNT.

KyPA JOINED THE FELLOWSHIP AS WE

SEAPCHED FOP 8LOODWPAITH SOLD AND VAMPIPE BATS.

WE ENCOUNTERED A WRAITH PACK

THE

THIRD CAVERN.

HOetCUN THE MINOTAUR AND KYRA RETREATED,

aKSTeeLHÂ£A(?TG7 AND

FOUSHT ON,

EARNING

HOOP

EACH.

WE WAITED FOR THE REMAINING WRAITHS TO TIRE WHILE

AND WANDER OFF, WE PASSED

AND THEN STEELHEART STARTED JOKINS A80UT SECRETS FROM ANDY'S PERSONAL LIFE.

THE TIME.

SECRETS 1 HAD TOLO KYRA IN CONFIDENCE THE NISHT 8EFOPE.

XX X

KYPA SAID SHE ASSUMED THE SECPETS WEPE FAIP PLAY, LIKE CAMMY. .BUT .

STEELHEAPT67

ASSOPBED

WAS SO

OUP

APSUMENT...

WAS ANGGYf

I WANTED TO KEEP ANDY'S AND EVENBLADE'S WOPLOS AS SEPAPATE

AS POSSIBLE.

...THAT HE NEVEP NOTICED THE WPAITHS SNEAKINS UP THE SIDE OF THE CAVEPN.

HOPKUN AND BUT

FOUSHT THEM BACK,

WAS TOO

LATE.

KypA AND

AVOIDED EACH OTHEP. SHE WAS

MOPTIPIED AND

WOUNDED AND

PELT BETPAyED.

DISILLUSIONED,

STEEL8LADE67 PAN A SOLO CAMPAIGN AND WAS KILLED By A HOPDE OP ©OBLINS.

BOTH OP ME.

FEELIN© UNINSPIPE D, I LEFT EAPLy POP WOPK.

CAMMy'D BEEN ©ONE POP HOUPS AND SINCE WE COULDN'T SHAPE A CAB, I TOOK THE

'A'

TPAIN.

My HEAD WAS

FILLED

WITH KyPA'S BETPAyAL THAT I DIDN'T NOTICE PEOPLE LAU©HIN© AT ME UNTIL THE TPAIN PULLED INTO THE STATION,

ONE OF THE MEN GEHIND ME WHISPEPED SOMETHIN© TO HIS FPIEND, A LITTLE SECPET OOKE.

HI'

HE WAS WHISPEPINS A PPIVATE FANTASy I'D TOLD KypA THE

'll

4-j

NISHT. ONE OF THE SECPETS THAT HAD COST

STEEL6LADES7'S

OTHEP I

4l FUMINS,

J T

HOW

LIFE.

*®i|l

•vl 4 1 2.4x111

ASKED HIM

HE KNEW?.'

WHO

HAD TOLD HIM?

’

t“07 j

WALK THE OSPE CONTINENT? DID HE KNOW KypA? WAS HE STEEL6LADEG7? DID HE

GUT HE OUST LAUSHED AT ME.

THE HAPDEP HE LAUSHED, THE ANSPIEP I SOT.

ANDy WAS HUPT AND GETPAyED.

-firs

EVENGLADE WAS HUPT AND GSTPAySO.

^ AND, LIKE STEELHEAPTB7,

SOMEONE ELSE PAID THE PPICE.

1 1

SOMEONE

ANDY'S

WOPLD DIED AT | EVENBLADS'S HANDS.

SOMEONE

DIED

BECAUSE

COULDN'T

KEEP

M y LIVES APAPT.

Hp: W

X*2u

SKW jM

:-5Â«

ifl

g W I

My secpets had

TWO

killed

PEOPLE, EACH DIFFERENT WOPLD.

EVENTS

EVEN8LADE'S LIFE WEPE APPECTINS ANDY'S AND THE IN

ANSWEPS COULD ONLY BE FOUND ONLINE.

KY PA WASN'T

THE

PALADIN'S KEEP.

HOPKUN CONPIPMEO IT AFTEP OUP DISASTPOUS HUNT, SHE'D CANCELLED HEP OSPE CONTINENT SEPVICE. AS PAP AS WE MATTEPED, KYPA PAVENHAIP NO LONSEP EXISTEO.

THE STAFF HADN'T

SEEN HEP FOP HOUPS AND HEP OSPEMAIL

ACCOUNT WASN'T WOPKINS.

EVENBLADE'S SIPLFPIEND NO EXISTED.

LONSEP

...MY

SIPLFPIEND

LONSEP

EXISTED....

CAMMY.

CAMMY'S CELL PHONE DIDN'T WOPK. NO SUCH NUM8EP. HEP JOB HAD NO PECOPD OF HEP AND HEP

MOM

DIDN'T

KNOW WHO

WAS. SHE ASKED IF THIS

WAS A OOKE... SHE HAD TWO SONS, NO DAUSHTEPS.

ON MY WAy OUT, THPEE PEOPLE CALLED ME By A PPIVATE NICKNAME I'D ONLy PEVEALED TO KyPA. MAN WHO BESS ON OUP STOOP ASKED AFTEP THE CPAZy OLO

HOPKUN THE MINOTAUP.

DESPEPATE, I WENT TO HEP OFFICE BUT OP COUPSE SHE

WASN'T THEPE. I

DEMANDED TO

SEE HEP DESK, SEE HEP BOSS, SEE ANyTHINS THAT

WOULD PPOVE ME WPONS.

(0) I

HAD TO KNOW. HAD TO KNOW.

I PAN PAST THE PECEPTIONIST, HOPING TO FIND CAMMY AT HEP DESK.

HEP DESK.

INSTEAD, TYLEP

WAS

POUND

TYLEP.

SITTING

CAMMY'S DESK. HE SAID THAT HE'S IN

SEEN OCCUPYING DESK FOP TWO MONTHS. THIS

AS SECUPITY DPAGGED ME PPOM THE BUILDING, TYLEP

GOT OFF THE TELEPHONE LONG ENOUGH TO SMILE, WINK, AND THPOUGH THE ECHOING SILENCE IN MY EAP I HEAPD HIM SAY:

'GOOD TO MEET YOU, BUDDY."

*MY BEST TO EVEPYONE AT THE PALADIN'S KEEP.''

48990

CAMMy'S THINSS wepe ©one ey THE TIME

©OT

HOME.

AT PIPST I THOU©HT SOMEONE MI©HT HAVE TAKEN THEM... OUT THEPE WASN'T EVEN ANy DUST, ANy FILTH LEFT BEHIND. IT WAS AS IF CAMMy HAD NEVEP LIVED HEPE.

IF SHE HAD NEVEP EXISTED.

AFTEP THAT, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE BEIN© ANDy VEPy MUCH.

NO SECPETS. NO MONEy. NO ©IPLPPIEND. IT WAS HAPDLy

TO BE HONEST,

I DIDN'T

FEEL LIKE SPENDIN© TIME IN EVENBLADE'S LIFE, EITHEP.

THEPE

WAS SO

MUCH OF ANDy IT

THAT

HAPDLy

FELT

ADVENTUPOUS

AND

INSPIPIN©.

LIVINS.

My lives had inteptwined. my WOPLDS COLLIDED. I COULD FIND NO SOLACE, NO COMFOPT IN EITHEP.

AND

HOPKUN DPASSEO ME ON A FEW QUESTS, BUT My HEAPT WASN'T IN

IT.

ANDy'S HEAPT WASN'T IN IT. f

evepy MOVE ON THE CONTINENT HAUNTED My WAKINS HOUPS, AND SO I SAPELy SLEPT. 1

1 COULDN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE, FOP FEAP

OF WHAT

I'D FIND.

AND

I WOULDN'T LEAVE THE SAME, AFPAID OF MISSINS THE ANSWEPS I

HOPED TO

FIND.

My 008

PIPED ME THE FOLLOWING

MOPNING. I

SEAPCHED FOP

A COPOLLAPy TO EVENSLADE'G LIFE BUT CAME UP EMPTy.

HOPKUN GUGGE5TED WE PEFILL OUP FELLOWSHIP AND CHEEP ME UP

AND, OF COUP5E, NEVEP WOULD.

WITH AN ADVENTUPE.

IT WAS EVEN8LA0E THE PALADIN, EVEN8LADE THE STPONG, WHO

IN FACT,

AFPAID OF THE

CONSEQUENCES, I

SAID

NO...

BUT

TO BE HONEST,

WAS

BOPED WAITING FOP ANSWEPS THAT WEPEN'T COMING.

...BUT IT

WAS

ANDPEW FPANCIS DABBSTEIN THAT STPUCK DIED,

FPOM BEHIND ON THE BALPOGTH PLAINS.

WENT INTO

8ATTLE...

THAT

WAS TWELVE

HOUPS A©0.

I'D DIED

ONE OF MY AND

THE 0©PE CONTINENT. LIVES

HAD SEEN

KILLED.

WAS A MATTEP OF

TIME SEFOPE SOMETHIN©

CAME FOP

THIS ONE, TOO.

ANDy IS DEAD. AND NOW, I FINALLY UNDEPSTAND WHAT IT IS TO LIVE. I WAS SOPN ANDPEW FPANCIS DA88STEIN 8UT I HAD A SECOND NAME. AN EXTPA LIFE.

WAS ALWAYS HONEST ABOUT MY WOPLDS, MY TWO LIVES.. .AND BECAUSE OF THAT, THEY COLLIDED. I

H ^

BECAUSE OF THAT, CAMMY WAS ©ONE. BECAUSE OF THAT I'M DEAD. |

My NAME IS EV6N6LAOE AND ONCE I POAMED THE OGPE CONTINENT.

TWELVE HOUPS AGO, I

LOST My

LIFE.

SITTING HEPE,

PEAOy, ALL

APMED AND CAN THINK

ABOUT IS HOW TO STOP FPOM HAPPENING AGAIN.

HOW TO STOP

FPOM

HAPPENING FOP PEAL.

YOU KNOW, KIDDIES,

IT’S

BUT

CAN’T GET

WHAT ANDY’S PROBLEM IS! WHO SAYS REALITY IS ALL ,

CRACKED UP TO BE?

RECOMMEND

CAN’T SOCIALIZING

IN THE OGRE CONTINENT THOSE OGRES CAN BE SUCH BACK-STABBERS!

NOW, THE OLD WITCH, SHE WASTES ENDLESS HOURS ONLINE IN THE WORLD OF

WARTCRAFT

|’LL

JUST KEEP

AVOIDING^

THOSE GHASTLY GHOULUNATICS BY HANGING HERE - AT LEAST UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN IN THE NEXT TOTALLY REAL ISSUE OF TALES FROM THE CRYPT! HAHAHAHAHAH!

CRETINS! It’s me again,

Greetings,

Welcome

the ol' Crypt-Keeper.

another go-round ofCRAZED CRITICISM and BOMBASTIC BRICKBATS regarding our previous IGNOMINIOUS issues! But before opening up that can ofINVERTEBRATES, let's review the REVOLTING results ofyour voting on TALES FROM THE CRYPT #3. It was yet another CHILLINGLY CLOSE race, but to

"A MURDERIN’ IDOL’’ by MANIACAL Mort Todd and SHUDDERIN’ Steve Mannion managed to eke out a victory as the issue’s favorite SCARE-TALE over “SLABBED!” by Stefan Petrucha and Don Hudson.

somehow

Ifyou somehow missed our

GENIUSES

TERRIFYING third issue,

over at Papercutz have already collected

the

EVIL

and

other

FEAR-FABLES into paperback and hardcover collections entitled TALES FROM THE CRYPT #2 “Can You Fear Me Now!" It, along with TALES FROM THE CRYPT# I “Ghouls Gone Wild!”

and

you how delighted

can’t tell

back for a new run! Ever since

comics a few years back ing

some of those

classic

that

you

are

learned about

have been intrigued in readcreepy comics, and

was a

pity that Bill Gaines persistently refused to resurrect

them. I

somebody has

glad that

finally

done

so.

thoroughly enjoyed Mr. Exes’ artwork in “The

Garden”:

thought

taking place in

WARNING:

some

gave the

feel that

bizarre video

Don’t read the

haven’t already read

TALES

rest

the story was

game. [SPOILER

this

his

you

FROM THE CRYPT

#2] I liked the poetic justice that the suicide

committed

— It

was an ingenious plot

twist in

by the cheapskate landlord

bomber

crime in order to get into paradise.

was

really hell in

“The Tenant” wheremake improve-

forced to

ments without breaking the conditions of his sentence

must not do

that stipulate he

was not

his property, so

make improvements

make

these

graveyard

so: legally, the

was not breaking conditions

to the graveyard.

improvements was what

the landlord, but that did not save

Being forced

improved

really

him from

serving a

sentence within a sentence. I

shall

be looking forward to future

issues.

Briony Coote

Zealand

Thanks, Briony! “The Tenant”

From The Crypt #2

have only caught up with you on the second issue

paradise clothing!

New

should be on shelves ofbetter BOOkstores now.

Subject: Tales

got his wish, but then found out

appreciate

Subject:

Hope and

EC fan-addict since

Hi, I've been a longstanding

12 (now 33).

When

comicon

at a

Yesterday

HBO series! I

comic shop.

TALES

all

Fear for the Crypt series

fell

series

an immediate

felt

bought an

in love right

found your new I

looked interesting

issue because the cover

before the

had a moral we can

— that a tidy tomb is a happy tomb!

was

original

this

was

away.

the shelf at the

(Wow!

thrill

New

FROM THE CRYPT stories!) and at the same

time fear (Uh-oh,

this

gonna be any good? Will

justice to the original?)

After reading the start

first

issue 3 after

paperback (and

finish this email),

am about to my verdict was I

Flattery will get

somewhere

in the middle.

the best comic love the

much want

can be, because

potential here!

The only

story

found up

"The Tenant" and judging by your that

the consensus.

of Work" had

good

Why

and

to par

was

letters in issue 3,

story in the book,

first

"Body Such

feeling especially frustrated.

start, a great

just wasted!

The

this to

love comics

You have so much

horrors especially.

premise.. .then an ending that was

SHOW

you

didn't

the faces of the

AND YOU MISSED AN OBVIOUS OPPORTUNITY corpses and their resemblance to the portraits?

FOR A GREAT GAG:

The

corpses should have taken

the paintings back to the graveyard and the mausoleum!

They could have

would have I

least,

sold out

artist dies!

ing to hear what other

TERROR-TITLES.

reviving those other

STIFF

As for limited edition

always optimistic to

this

MUTILATED

lim-

gim-

PINHEADS at

mick those

Papercutz won't

try!

the

Subject:

Hey,

FROM THE CRYPT

new TALES or

VAULT?

my distribution

list.

ECfan-addict” of21 years,

time, like the bit

down

CRYPT

longstanding to sit

But what

already!

makes you think wed ever go for the

site

know. I’m

(www.papercutz.com) to

fan (comics, movies,

NPR.

I’m a big

and TV), have the Russ

collections,

checking Ebay for more and

some more air-

get

heard today on

plans for the

everyone

tell

I’ll

Hope you can

Cochran hardbound

“OBVIOUS" gag?

NPR. Any

heard about you on

HAUNT

you have our permission

with

ited edition covers, I suspect there's no cheap sales

HORRORgrams, SPOILED, and

sending the link to your

“a

covers, starting

we have tivo different comicbook covers — one with a US price and the other with a Canadian price! I expect you and your nephew to keep your word and buy 'em both - even if it means a trip up North! As for very issue

His paintings

"TALES" for a while catch some of the magic.

Yakov Levi

Hey Yakov as

If you

HARDCOVER

why not simply buy our

covers,

editions l

coffin should be without one!

continue buying your

shall

comic as

artist (Jack

And you know how

Kroll) a post-mortem exhibit!

value of art goes up after an

hung them

given the

you nowhere, Master Tillman and

TALES FROM THE CRYPT is the same THE CRYPT OF TERROR, while we're waitEC Fan-addicts think about

Manueal.

this

constantly

was the

first

had

heard of your product.

Good Subject:

luck.

Taking subscriptions

Crypt-Keepers Corner!!!!! Bill

Hey, what's up, a big

thumbs up

y'all?

wanted

to give

having the guts to bring

for

TALES

FROM THE CRYPT back. What about THE VAULT OF HORROR, THE CRYPT OF TERROR, THE HAUNT OF FEAR? Man, that would be hot

as hell if you

'em, actually any

published those

as well. I'd

comic would be

Now, my nephew and

buy

exciting,

CRIME SUSPENSE, SHOCK SUSPENSE,

etc.

are real excited about these

tion is if your going to have somewhat weak stories, and only 2 stories per mag you are going to have to make up for it in the quality of paper stock and

The artwork

front cover artwork.

absolutely awesome.

bought

for issue 2

6 of that issue. Now, in regards to the paper stock - man, you guys are cheap. I have to buy at least 2 of each issue I

because just reading your utes

The

mag

for a

couple of min-

ink smears. Hey,

guys coming out with a hologram,

when

foil,

are

would be

great,

my nephew

and

NAUSEATING

my idiot editor, Jim Salicrup. As for subsCRYPTtions, just send us a check or

money

order, in

US funds

only for $24.00 for a one-

subscription

six-issue

CRYPT.

SECTION series ever!

Marc

intellectual

DIS-

regarding the greatest horror comicbook

Don’t miss next issue featuring the

EST story yet Mann ion,

Steve

pub-

receive your order.

Thus concludes another rousing

you

FROM THE

TALES

Subscriptions begin with the next issue

lished after

and

would buy

means

You probably mean the Nina GreGORY produced on

Radio, which featured

year,

multi-col-

ored variant and limited edition covers. Variant covers all

Bilgrey

GROSS-

“Ignoble Rot" by Fred Van Lente as well as

and Mr.

you thought of this Send your letters to:

and

“Queen of the Vampires " by

Exes.

Keep those emails and

letters

coming!

Tell us

what

freaky, fan-offending fourth issue.

of em!!!!!!

Keep Up The Good Work !

here that

idtra-short feature

Halloween for Morning Edition on National Public

fingerprints get etched into the ink

ruin the comic.

NPR? Around

PULSATING REMAINS!

My sugges-

comics, and hope you continue strong.

yet?

Shaw

your team

!!!

Master Tillman Pink

III

The

Manueal Mendoza

Crypt-Keeper’s Corner

40 Exchange

Los Angeles, California

Place, Suite

New York, NY

1308

10003

Or email your savage commentaries or rage-filled reviews to

our

illiterate editor at:

salicrup@papercutz.com.

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ALAS, POOP TANITH, YOU WEPE ALWAyS TOO TPUSTINS. I WAS 8ESINNINS TO FEEL > PANSS OF SyMPATHy fop you.^^^^J

re UT

THEY

PASSED

Llk'S

ASUSTOr

WSยง I

SUMMEP

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DEAP FPIENO, NO ONE HAS BEEN BUPIED IN THIS OLD CEMETEPy SINCE THE

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LOOK AT ALL THESE AWESOME BOOKS ON VAMPIPES.'

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—

Lime

latfp.

miss ppice^

see you NOW, IN THe

will

LiePAgy.

ULP/ THIS

^ ^

m y oueeN AWAITS/

is it/

THese peoPLe look eveN ceeepiep than

coMe

in.

eeLATives.

you

MUST 8e MS. eeNSON,^ THe ILLUSTPIOUS WINNEP

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™

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My DEAP/ THEPE'S NO PEASON TO BE

^BUT,

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yOUP^

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THIS IS THE

r SOLAPIUM, AND THAT'S ^ My PAFFLESIA BLOOM. IT'S THE SISSEST FLOWEP IN THE WOPLD. yOU'PE IN LUCK, IT ONLY OPENS ONCE A y£AP, S k. AT NISHT, FOP ONE WEEK.

SMELLS LIKE POTTINS MEAT/

show you a eu OF My HOME.

AND SONE TO

NEPVOUS.

HOW ASTUTE.^

MOPE COMMONLy KNOWN AS IT'S

k THE COPPSE ^ FLOWEP. ^A

HEAVEN/

THIS IS

WHEPE

KEEP

AMPHI8IANS.

CUTE FPOGS.

each one rHAS ENOUGH POISON'^ IN THEM TO KILL ONE

HUN0PE0 PEOPLE. IT'S WHAT INDIGENOUS TPiees use on t

THEM?

6LOWGUN

DAPTS.

WGUMPSE you

I 'PE

SO HOPE ENJOyiNG THIS

INTO SOME OF My 0ISTPACTIONS. FEEL FP£E TO ASK ME ANyTHING AT ALL. TONIGHT I'M HEPE fop you.

^ L

UH...I

CUPIOUS,

WAS HOW

DID COM £ UP WITH

you THE CHAPACTEP OF THE VAMPIPE k. DU80IS?

^AS *

HAPPENS,^

THE INSPIPATION

FOP DUSOIS CAME

FPOM WHAT'S IN THIS L POOM. PLEASE, A Bk. STEP INSIDE.

PPOMISED My

VAMPIPE BATS A SPECIAL MEAL TO CELEBPATE THE LAUNCHING OF M y NEW BOOK. IT'S A TPEAT I SIVE THEM

L ONCE A

yEAP. IT

TO SPINS ME

W TOO

AND I'VE BEEN Busy TO FEED THEM LATELy, AND THEy'PE OH, JN

WDO

v\y.

My.

all^^B

THAT SCPEAMINS.

BELIEVE I'M SETANOTHEP IDEA FOP A NEW BOOK. I SO LOVE THE CPEATIVE j PPOCESS. DON'T

TINS

^ k

SEEMS

LUCK,

WHAT A BATTY ENDING! •GROAN-

^^1 N

YES, SYBIL PAID QUITE A PRICE TO MEET MRS. PRICE! JUST AS YOU’RE PAYING THE PRICE OF EATING

TOO MANY CHOCOLATE K STUFFED FRUITY GRAIN

BALLS!

THE

IT’S

ONLY^

THING THAT KEEPS

THE OLD VAULTKEEPER VAULTING

ABOUT

JUST CHECK N fOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO

LITTLE JIMMY WHEN HE SKIPS BREAKFAST, IN THIS

IK.

SHOCKER

CALL...

^dbiSTTEO

r AND

I'M

NOT

OUST SAYINS THAT because I'M yout? MOTHEC.

Ss.

/ f (

Jji

SOMETIMES*** I FEEL LIKE I DON'T DESEGVE

\ SUCH A SWEET

LITTLE SUy.

)

OH, NO,

fogsot to buy

MILK LAST NISHT.

/ I HOPE \ f BECKY AND \ 8UDDY KNOW WHAT A SGEAT SUY THEY HAVE TO PAL V AGOUND /

â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

you MIND EATINS yOUG CHOCOLATE STUFFED s.

FGUITy SGAIN

BALLS DGY?

WITH.

ewww. DGY CEGEAL SUCKS, MOM.

AW, SEE WHIZ. CUT IT

OUT.

eur they've sot rTHE FRUITIEST

CHOCOLATE TASTE IN THE LAND. IT'S SOT THAT WILD X-TREME FLAVOR BLAST THAT'S OUT

fN.

THIS WORLD.'

IT'S THE

.x'

MOST

EPUITASTICALLY

SU&AP BOMBEP SWEETNESS EXPLOSION EVEP.'

YOU ATE THEM

DPy ALL THE TIME WHEN > you WERE LITTLE. WHy, yOU'VE EATEN CHOCOLATE STUFFED V FRUITy SPAIN BALLS EVERY A f

DAY OF YOUR ^..WELL SINCE YOU'VE HAD ) TEETH.

MOM, .

I'LL

LIFE-

ipy

a W*

BE OKAY. I DON'T NEED TO EAT THEM bvepy pay.

JIMMY,

YOU NEED A \ YWELL-BALANCED

J/ f

BREAKFAST WITH

THE SWEETNESS YOU

CPAVE MELDED

WITH

LET'S QUIT THE MOLLYCODDLING.

SKIPPING \ / 6PEAKFAST WILL

po youp

HAVE AN IMPACT ON YOUP TENDEP YOUNG

METABOLISM AND MAKE YOU MOPE LIKELY TO GET /

FAT.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GET FAT

DO YOU?

THEN EAT YOUP GPEAKFAST/

/ .

„,SO THEN HE LETS ME SO TEN MINUTES BEPOPE THE LUNCH SELL SOES OFF. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

’

SOMETHING WEI PD COINS ON TOD Ay. IF

THEY WANT ME TO EAT THAT STUPID CEPEAL SO SAD, THAT'S A PPETTy SOOO

PEASON WHy

HEy,

WHAT'S WITH .youp VOICE?

SHOULDN'T.

sood LOPD.'

>CHOk:e<

>&ASP'< JIMMy? APE you OKAy?

y£AH, you^ SOUND PEAL MANLY, y

OIMMy?

AMI 0 CHAOS IN out? PUBLIC SCHOOLS, THE PUBLIC ASKS "WHAT ABOUT OU(?

'AND TPASEDY

CHiLoeeN?"

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; DENIES PEPOPTS OF A STUDENT SHOOTEP...

KKNOWWE k

DON'T THE SITUATION WITH

(

BECKY,

5EEINS YOU MISHT MAKE Y HIM FLIP

k ATTACK

AND

HEP. J\

^ YCAN'T WE AFFOPD TO LOSE ONE

CHILD.'

WE NEED A N TO

DIVEPSION

SET HIM OUT INTO THE OPEN SO I CAN DELIVEP A CLEAN SHOT. >

r I'LL

I'LL

STEP

LAoy, THAT THINS

SO.

SET HIM TO

AW Ay FPOM

HIS

IT'LL

ONLy

HUPT FOP

Noeooy's 8Aey a

A SECOND ANyWAy.

FPIEND AND SPINS HIM <

out so you

>CHOICÂ£<

CAN,..

. .

so you <\

( CAN SHOOT My eA8y.

yOU WOULDN'T UNDEPSTAND, NONE OF yOU WOULD UNDEPSTAND. HE IS A WONDEPFUL SOy. HEALTHy, (NTELLISENT,

WELL, HE'S ALL SPOWN

UP NOW.

AAAPPPSH.'

STAy SACK, JIMMy.

STAy SACK.' I'M soppy I DANCED WITH 8UDOy AT THE SPPINS FLINS, but i'll hit you IF I rW SOTTA' .

STPONS...

JIMMY.

COME TO ^ MOMMY, JIMMY.

MOMMY LOVES YOU, JIMMY.

MOMMY

LOVES YOU, .

JIMMY.

T MOMMY

LOVES YOU.

MOMMY LOVES J

YOU.

SOMETIMES

Kj^* W»

Sv./ FEEL LIKE I DON 'A DESERVE SUCH A )

n«

IIX (

TV'

SWEET

LITTLE

SUY.

Kf M. *F

fgS

evepythins's

SONNA BE OKAY,

BABY.

YOU APE THE 8E5T KID IN THE WOPLD. .

EVEPYTHINS'S SPEAT.

SONNA BE

YOU 'PE SOINS TO EAT A NUTPITIOUS 8PEAKPAST EVEPY

DAY. r

PPOM

NOW I

ON. PPOMISE.

NO MOPE MISTAKES.

EVEPYTHINS'S N,

SONNA BE JUST

LIKE IT WAS BEPOPE, K I PPOMISE. y

HAI AND

THEY SAY WE’RE A BAD INFLUENCE .

KIDS!

>GASP!< GOOD ALL OUT OF

CHOCOLATE V

FRUITY

HEE

LISTEN, V-K, YOU EAT TOO MUCH OF THAT STUFF! KEEP IT

UP AND YOU’LL NEED TO JOIN

JOHNNY

CRAIG’S!

I'M

HERE.

OUTTA GOT MORE

BACK AT MY VAULT OF HORROR! COMING?

LIKE I’M GOING

TO STAY WITH C-K!?!

THOUGHT

THEY’D NEVER LEAVE!

WELL, KIDDIES,

I’VE BEEN READING ALL YOUR WRETCHED FANG MAIL AND DECIDED WE SHOULD EMBARK ON A DARKER, SCARIER NEW DIRECTION! READ ALL ABOUT IN THE CRYPT- KEEPER’S CORNER AND BE SURE TO TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!

THIS ISSUE: AM AU-NEW STORY BY

FEATURING

JOE

JOHN

LANSDALE & LANSDALE

TEXAS' TOP TERROR WRITERS!

95US

WELCOME, FIENDS...

YouToomb

IT’S

ME— YOUR

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD CEMETERY’S CRYPT-KEEPER, DOWNLOADING A DOOZY OF A SCARE-TALE!

IT’S ALL ABOUT LAZLO SLOAN, PRODUCER OF THE SMASH REAUTY TV SHOW...

WELCOME SACK TO •JUMPING THE SHACK'* l

SAT Wf MAGGOTS' BAT THB MAGGOTS' £AT THB MAGGOTS'

WHEN WE LAST LEFT YOU, CAITUN WAS ABOUT TO EAT THIS JAP OF A

V k

X-MAGGOTS...

eeeewmw'

MAN WITH THE DACK SHADES IS PCODUCEC LAZLO SLOAN. * JUMPING THE

THE SHACK*

MAN WALKING AWAy.. WELL, THAT'S ME. I'M PHIL CAPPECTy, LAZLO'S ASSISTANT. THE

HIS 6A8y.

PHC, yOU IDIOT.' THE NEXT soccy, > TIME yOU'CE THIS LATE MC. SLOAN, WITH My COFFEE, k sic.' j L yOU'CE PIPED"

SOME DAy

THAT STUPID OLO

COOT'S GOING TO GET HIS.'

HAHAHAHAHA

SHUT UPff

WOW. TAKINS^ rA HEAD6P INTO HIS

He was un oec a lot of ppessuce, MP. WOLF, BUT I DIDN'T THINK H6'D COMMIT

AAASSHH.' NO.' NO'.'

suicioe.

OWN SHACK eH 3 SAD. SAD.

TANK,

^ CAN'T uve ^ I THe PAST POPwell,

AND THAT 8PINSS ME TO

evep.

m a. W

you, PHIL

CAN

CANDID? 8eeN WATCHINS we've

you

LATeey.

^ we

and

THINK...

I'M

V.yOU'CE OUST THE C1©HT PECSON TO

succeedlazlo SLOAN.'

©ONNA

DO THIN©S DippeeeNTLy THAN LAZLO SLOAN/ NO MOCE INHUMANE STUNTS,

NO MOPE DAN©£COUS

VAIN /

yOU'VE ©OTTA

DO SOMETHIN©,

SHACK TANKS/ HIS DEATH WON'T HAVE BEEN IN

PHL-'

THE CATINSS HAVE TAKEN A NOSE-DIVE/ PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO SEE CONTESTANTS SWIN©IN© OVEC A TANK FULL OF JELL-0/ TH£y WANT DAN ©EC' EXCITEMENT/ AND IF yOU CAN'T ©fVE IT TO THEM, WELL ©£T SOMEONE WHO CAN/

SUT THIS

ooe

My whole

upc/ MAyee lazlo WASN'T SO WCON© AFTEC ALL...

THECE ACE ©ONNA BE SOME CHAN©ES ACOUND HECE, FOLKS/ SOME PEOPLE THOU©HT THAT LAZLO SLOAN'S STUNTS WECE DAN©£COUS. INHUMANE. BUT NOT ME/ I ALWAyS THOU©HT HE WAS A VISIONACy/ LAND HIS STUNTS WECEN'T TOO DANCECOUS...

m r

/£AHyeAH,^^M

WHATEVEP, OEPKy. 6UT <?EAU-y, I'VE SOT THIS IDEA

SHOW AND

Wjpy I

KNOW

WHAT^^

'THIS IS. THIS IS SOME^ KINOA PPACTICAL JOKE, THAT'S ISN'T IT? WELL,

yOU'PE NOT USTENINS.'

TAKE

WHAT

IF you TOOK A COUPLE THAT WAS MADLy IN LOVE AND HAD THEM LIVE

FOP SIX MONTHS IN a house. wHeee rrs gaining .

INPOOPS 9<4/7! HOW LONS WHTAKE THEM TO 8£ AT EACH OTHEPS' IT

THPOATS?

A LOUSy LAZLO SLOAN MASK. DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE HIM.' NOW,

OFF.'

FOP A NEW I'M OyiNS TO.

out on

you'^

OKAy NOW, JOSH, you MAy WANT TO FALL ON the eeo of nails,

.oust to see

{?eAU.y

Hepe

THey'pe

shapp 6NOUSH'

AND THOUSHT

you CApeo about ouAUTy Tetevi-

SION/

THIS ISN'T HAPPCNINS.. THIS ISN'T HAPPeNINS..

I've

BPOUSHT youp cap APOUND, MP.

pAFFePTy.',

WHAT?! IF YOU THINK I’M GOING TO LET YOU TAKE CREDIT FOR ONE OF MY TALES, YOU’RE BATTIER THAN YOU LOOK! . SO HERE!

I’M

OUTTA

r WHAT A

DIVA!

HOWZA ‘BOUT YOU, OLD WITCH? GOT A THRILLER-CHILLER TO TELL?

THOUGHT YOU’D

NEVER ASK! THIS ONE IS REALLY SPECIAL, SO GET READY FOR A...

S WON DEP WHO 56 POCKET

5H6 PICKED FOP THAT WATCH, i

witf

IwSL

WHAT APE ALL THE5E KNOB5

THE 5106?

mjjf

A'HiT'5

V'^n'

ErEo-

JUNK

^Kp^KS

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you,

V;^LsuvNecâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;/JR

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ip5&

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J I?/

WOW/ COOL. LIKE MONEY R?OM HOME.

vlUU

r LOOK

OUT &OOO, TIMES, H£t?£ you

COME

^GO NOW FIX

THAT

0ISHWASHEI?

UXE <

TOCO you

ye5TEt?OAy

^.V

fliul/

no mope ounk, soeey. I'm

SICK

IT/

SHOULD HAV6

KNOWN YOU'D 86 .

it'5

SACK INâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;

evePY

WITCH FOP H6PS6LF.

608.'

YOU

COWAPD.' COM6 6ACK/ >

'*%*;

ft \)

.!'

•

Wjj Mlv

-^Ir" *V

-^4% wnmSM WrWm^r-^

;%) <r

^i^BLvW

4^1

/>i

^ THAT CAME OUT OP THIS WATCH? WHAT KINO OP WATCH

THIS?

h' I

jfl

SOUNDS

A TIMES

WHAT TH6

IT'S I

NOT LIKE^

CAN SPIN© HIM I HAVE THAT CHAPITV

SACK.. .AND

hv PPOSPAM.

)e )•

didn't

see

m, omcees .euN PISHT OUT IN WONT *i

/#!

Of ME ...WHAT?

Ws&W mW

ImI

euMey.

WECEN'T SAD

ENOUGH THE .

KLLED

POOP BLOKE,

DONE 5QAU5HED

TIME PIECE.

â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

I'VE

HIS j

THAT’S ENOUGH! GET OUTTA MY CRYPT!

YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS ‘CAUSE MY TALE ROCKED! >

YEAH,

AGREE!

I’M SURE 1 CERTAIN DEAD } PSYCHOLOGISTS

WOULD

YouToomb

AND SPEAKING OF INCONVENIENT TRUTH "

THE CRYPT KEEPER ADDRESSES

—GOOD THING WE’RE JUST VIRTUAL, AS IN NOT REAL! AFTER ALL, WASN'T X

THE INTERNET INVENTED BY A DUDE NAMED A GORE?!

Hell

nook

—V

IN.

THIS ISSUE:

AN AU-NCW STORY BY

.ATURING

JOE R. LANSDALE & JOHN L. LANSDALE TtXAS' TOP TiRROR WRITtRS!

THE CRYPT-KEEPER

THE VAULT-KEEPER

$3 95US .

896 45306 ll

WELCOME,

KIDDIES!

IT'S YOUR 0Lâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC; PAL THE CRYPT-KEEPER GETTING READY TO FILM A COUPLE OF VIDEOS FOR YOU TOOMB, THE

SCARIEST WEBSITE

OF ALL!

FIRST FRIGHTFUL FEATURE, STARS A LOUT

NAMED

LOUIS, WHO COULD'VE BEEN A REAL HOLLYWOOD MOVIE STAR - THAT IS BEFORE SOMETHING SET IN

THAT

CALL...

THE FREWCH QUARTER

AT MIGHT.

yOUR FAVORITE HUMTIMG GROUN17, ISN'T IT, LOUIS?

THE TRAVELER'S OHEOKS YOU STOLE FROM THE PURSE OF YOUR LAST MARK ARE JUST ABOUT GOME, SO IT'S HIGH TIME TO C7RUKIK,

FINE?

SOME OTHER

LONELY TOURIST...

..AMY WOMAKI, REALLy,

WITH MORE MOMEY THAM SELF-ESTEEM...

(TP

AT FIRST YOU WOKJPgR WHAT

THESE SLACK JAWEC7 OUT-OF-

SrtfMJ

Mf ’

r> ‘j|^g

jJTVJ —•gh

TOWKJER S'

PROBLEM

IS...

...eur

ITS

WHAT

you pou'T see that TERRIFIES

you

you pou't see fog ow THE MIRROR

FROM YOUR BREATH! FOR WO MATTER HOW HARP YOU STRAIW youR LUWGS...

THERE'S OWUy OWE POSSIBLE EXPLAWATIOW, WO MATTER

HOW IMPOSSIBLE

AW [7 THE SKIW

COLP

AWE?

SEEMS:

CLAMMY

TO THE TOUCH LIKE

RUBBER LEFT

OUTSIDE OVERWK3HT!

I'M

PSAPM

r«V7*7fM

By' i\’l r/q t,

fill:

;;

//Sr*

because y ou'RE gong to prive RIGHT OUT TO HER PATHETIC SWAMP TRAILER PARK AMP BEAT HER IMTO REVERSIM G WHATEVER

HgX SHE'S

you ASSUME IT'S PART OF HER CURSE THAT YOU'VE BECOME SO CLUMSY ALL OF A SUPPEM THAT YOUR MUSCLES POM'T WAMT TO PO WHAT YOU TELL THEM TO.

You'Re WO CORONER, OF

course. wor vo you REALIZE THAT YOU V16V WHILE NAPPING IW YOUR FLOPHOUSE OVER THREE HOURS AGO.

GO YOU WOULDN'T KWOW THAT WHEW THE HEART STOPS, GRAVITY IMMEDIATELY BEGINS TO PULL THE STAGNANT

BLOOD DOWN, DOWN,

fWTO THE

LOWER PARTS OF THE BODY...

...IW THIS INSTANCE,

YOUR DUE TO YOUR SLEEPING FACE,

POSITIOW.

THAT THEY'RE SO LOOSE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE TRYING TO OPERATE A MARIOWETTE WITH OUT STRINGS? THAT WOULD BE "PRIMARY FLAOOIDITY." FREED FROM THE BURDEW OF LIFE, ALL

YOUR MUSCLES HAVE GONE COMPLETELY LAX.

INCLUDING

YOUR

BLADDER MUSCLES THE LITTLE "ACCIPBUT" B ACK AT THE BAR. ...HENCE

cecile, even

more msecune

THAJJ SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL, WHO SAIE7 SHE WAS AW OIL executive's daughter TAKING A YEAR OFF FROM BU SIWESS SCHOOL AT

TULANE...

IW WO TIME AT ALL, YOU HAP HER EATIWG OUT OF THE PALM

OF YOUR HAWP.

^ TASTE THAT

PELICATE

SWEETNESS?

IK THAT \ COMES FROM WHAT WE CALL NOBLE ROT" IW

THE GRAPE...

—

SHE WANTEP YOU TO MEET HER PARENTS A ©OOP SIGN. YOU'P BEEN MARRIEP SIX TIMES BEFORE... ALL UNPER VARIOUS PSEUPONYMS... ...AWE?

ALWAYS

RESULTIWG

PIVORCE SETTLEMENTS HIGHLY PLEASIWG TO YOUR WALLgT.

BUT THERE'S UOTHIUG A PARASITE HATES MORE THAN A HOST WEEPIER THAW

TURWS OUT CECILS WAS LYING ABOUT HER BACKGROUWP— SHE WAS REALLY WHITE TRASH FROM SOME CAJUN PUMP IW THE MIPPLE OF THE 0AYOU...

...COMPLETE WITH A CRBBPV OLP GREAT-AUNT, TANTE PEPE. A TRAITSUSB, OR

WITCH-WOMAN, WHO CLAIMEP SHE HAP THE POWER TO STRIKE YOU POWN" IF YOU "PISRESPBCTBV"

p REALLY,

HER A FIWP

YOU WERE POING

FAVOR™

SHE'P

OUT YOU HAP WO

IWTEREST i 1

CECILE.

BEING

SOMEBOPY ELSE'S MEAL TICKET EVENTUALLY! mmmwi 11

—

(tU

SCENIC

WHA-

BAYOU area [LAST exit

'A't

WELL, YOU'LL 06 AT HER TRAILER WITHIN THE HOUR. THEM SHE'LL 0E

SORRY SHE EVER

CHEMICAL CHANGES IN YOUR CORPSE HAVE CAUSED ALL ITS MUSCLES TO LOCK IN PLACE.

you cant see with youR eyelids clamper shut, BUT you CM FEEL THE RISIW<3 SUM BAKIWO WHAT'S LEFT OF yOU.

WAKIMO THE MICROBESâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; - COLGTRIPIUM PUTRIFIUM THAT HAE7 BEEW IIVIUG IKI YOUR FLESH SIWCE THE V AY YOU WERE BORN...

THE BACTERIA AT WORK GIVE OFF QUITE AW OP OR

^TH k

Jlftr-i

â&#x20AC;¢

iwi

AFTER A PAY OR SO, /?/<?<?/? MORTIS FAI7ES INTO SEOONP ARV

YOUR MOVEMENTS ARE NOT MUCH MORE THAN A SHAMBLE.

FIACCIPITY.

YOUR MOUTH ANÂ£7 THROAT ARE TOO WEAK TO SIVE VOICE TO YOUR PURPOSE

WiVZm,

you

WILL.

LET NOTHING

SLOW YOUR PROGRESS. you KNOW NEITHER FATIGUE... NOR FEAR.

WOULP-BE

PREDATORS.

THÂ£y KNOW SPOILED MEAT WHEN THEy

SMELL

IT.

yes. yes,

HeRe y on are. where you wawtec?

TO 06. THAT MUCH YOU cam recall.

HERE, WHERE yOU

WAMTEC TO... TO VO WHAT? 7

TAWTE PBPB! TMTB pbps! you

He COMB BACK FOR you just you ba IP

were RIGHT!

AleeHHU

Knew I

CURBS youv COME

— that Type!

AFTER ME

W QUIP!

IT 1

^1 KNEW IF STRUCK'' you WITH THE PBATH

—

MGGGM

YOU'RE

— HAP TO LURE you

HERE

BACK

—

so you caw MAKE RIGHT WHAT you pip! x

LEAP THE CITY SLICKER IW THERE, BOYS! POW'T WAWT TO KEEP EVERYBODY WAITING! >

You'Re SOW)JA MAKE AW

HOWEST

WOMAN OF MV wORAWPWIECE! -

c ea e \

vvewt awp

pKOWuev

^you

BUT AIW'T GOWWA OET OFF THAT EASY

HERSELF IW THE BAYOU!

-LEAVfWÂ© HER

WAY

A FAMILY

THAT*

—— AWT ©OIW' HOW HERE! ^

you .

tinnese \

HHHHUJ

you

NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARW SOME respomskj fUTy ?

swore youv

WEVER BE AXiyBOI7y ELSE'S MEAL TICKET LOUIS! HOT AHY

WOMAN'S CERTAIWLy WOT AWy CHIU7'S

BUT WOW you CAW KISS yOUR PRECIOUS FREEDOM ©OOPByE! Mf©HT AS WELL SHEE7 A TEAR FOR IT AS IT ©OES. PEARLY

BELOVEP, WE ARE ©ATHEREE7 HERE v.

UWFORTUWATELy, BV THIS TIME, CALLfPHORA VtCMA THE

BLOW FUy, HAS LAIP E©©S IKi

yOUR TEAR I7U6TS.

’

TOI7Ay....

MY NEXT ^ ONSLAUGHT OF ONLINE TERROR IS THE TAIL, MEAN TALE

NOW, THAT WAS A REAL BADTIME STORY'.

GRR!

TWO HIRSUTE HOUSEPETS, MEAN HOUSEMATES...

ER,

GRR

AND I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE ^ VAULT-KEEPER AND THE OLD WITCH IN THEIR

CHEAP RUBBER MASKS',

IT’S

A STORY THAT STARTS ON THE CITY’S MEAN STREETS

CTCTT1

amm

HB wiwmm

WAS A PAPE HOME CUN FOP POSCOE LITTLE, MUSSEP BY PPOcowapp IT

Ifessiqn.

ey natupe.

POSCOE 'S ‘CUSTOMEP" IS ONE DPASO SAVASE, AN UPTOWN MAN SHOPT CUT ON HIS WAy HOME FPQM THE 8UTCHEP SHOP.

TAKINS A

PEPFECT SHOT. WHICH MEANS HE WON'T 86 NEEOINS HIS

SOOPS

ANYMOPE.

A HOUSE K£y AN O A WALLET FULL OF MONEy. JACKPOT.

LOOKS I

ADDPESS ON THE LICENSE... PPETTY UPTOWN DISS. MISHT

LIKE A PACKASE OF MEAT... MISHT AS WELL &O FOP THE WHOLE

WOPTH CHECKINS

OUT. ,

LOOKS

HOS.

DAPK...

MAY6E EMPTY. THAT ^

WOULD 6E SOOD.

ONE WAY TO FIND OUT.

^TOtime^ CHECK -

OUT WHAT'S SOINS TO THE PAWN

JACKPOT.

SHOP.

“

^ 9

NICE...

AND

ONE'S HEPE, THIS

BED WILL

BEAT SLEEPING, L

AN ALLEy.

MEN'S CLOTHES...

MUST LIVE ALONE. SETS 8ETTEP AND BETTEP.

THIS L

’

e3g

1 1

Ifl

TIME FIND THE KITCHEN,

CHECK OUT WHAT'S POP _

OINNEP.

SEATS THE ^

THPOWAWAyS AT JOE'S ) .

STEAKS' I

NEED TO

BEAN ME ONE OP THESEi suys EVEPy i

L I

NISHT.

SPILL.

WHAT THE HELL?

r suy

MUST HAVE A DOS.

r in

JUST the

hoppop

MOVIES...WE PE-

WOLVES

> .

THAT'S WHO THE STEAKS WEPE POP.

r THIS IS SOOO ENOUSH

FOP THE LIKES OF YOU TWO.j

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;

AN EXPENSIVE ^ WINE HANSOVEP A LOT LIKE A CHEAP WINE HANSOVEP.

i .

MOPNINS.. ALPEADy.

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WEPEWOLVES?

THAT

WOULD BE US.

WHEPE'S

DPASO?

^you suee look eenec^ r

^OH, NO.^

WITHOUT ALL THAT HAIP AND He

AIN'T

AS POP DCASO, COMINS BACK...

TeeTH, HONEY.

WAS OUP

eeoTHep. oue PPOTCCTOP.

WHAT WILL

^we do?

^CHAPS6 I'M

NOW. SO, YOU'LL

DO WHAT I L TELL YOU.

r HAVe ^ PITY

U5 ^

I'LL

HAVe

wHATevec

^ 1|

WANT, AND THe

I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU COME TO k ee the ppcaks i YOU APe

PICST THINS IS

'will

you

HELP US WE TELL

you?

I MISHT.

you NEVEP KNOW. TELL

ME.

"WE'PE A PAMILy OP APCHEOLOSISTS.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; LIKE OUP PAPENTS. ALL EXCEPT OPASO.

*WE OISCOVEPEO AN UND1STUP8ED IN THE VALLEy OP THE KINSS.

TOM8

A LOCAL TOLD US OP THE PLACE. HE WOULD ONLy TAKE US THEPE WHEN IT WAS NEAP NISHT.

IT'S

THE

Sy/ASOL OP L

ANU6IS.

r MOST

DEPINITELy.

it's a cupse^ â&#x20AC;&#x2122; OP SOME KIND. says ANueis will SEND HIS MINIONS TO AVENSE HIM IP THE TOM8 IS J

r TO HELL

WITH

APCHEOLOSy.'

WE CAN MAKE A POPTUNE.

THE r MOON IS

UP,,

and youp PATH

^SLOCKED..

WHAT APE you

TALKING

tASOUT?.

OPENED.

f SUAPOIAN

'op this toms. NOW you WILL

be PUNISHED L

popyoup

k INVASION.^

WAS

BITTEN.

'WE WEPE BOTH BITTEN.

‘BUT BY ACCIDENT WE FOUND THE BEAST'S ACHILLE'S HEEL.

‘WHEN IT WAS DEAD, WE SAVE UP ON THE PLACE AND PLED.

‘WHEN WE PETUPNEO HOME THE CUPSC KICKED

IN.

BECAME AS yOU SAW

AND WE US."

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Am-tfvr keep us /

)ve

AND / 'o SAF6, Keep o'Heps

W3&3

fr]

1 4 ...

SAFe JUS' 66FOP6

DAyLISHT.

.\sers us

OPASO J ppee

eui^

AT NISHT,

we STAy THese ^cAses.. in

ne ^ YAIN'Twem Heee FOP 1

THAT NOW, I LIKe

He?

you PISHT

^ wnepe you ^

At?e.

AND

Y r

you'ee a LiTTLe

sooo i

eoy and

SlPL, X MISHT DUST Keep FeeoiNs you... scpaps, op coupse. misht seT you L MATCHING FLFA A k

COLLAPS.^^fl

GUT IN THe MeANTIMe, I'M

SOINS TO LOOT THIS OOINT SIX L

WAySFPOM

^SUNDAy.^J

POSCOE MAOE A numsep of TPIPS |

TO THE PAWNSHOP.

HE WENT METHODICALLY

FPOM POOM TO POOM,

[

WHAT'S ^ HE DO WITH ALL THESE eooics? .

Hey, THIS IS

about wei?eWOLVeS AND k vAMPiees. A

l^'/AMPiees 1

CAN'T STAND Crosses, DAytlSHT AND THE WOOD FPOM A HAWTHOl?N TPEE. BUT WHAT I SOT IS

weeewOLves...

lets see

A vim/ot-'te

| I

rDPISPAlW

'VfMfWW P'

Hey, THAT'S

WHAT Missy FANS SAID... BUT WHO CAPES?

% t.

Tney'ee in A CAS£.

si'/f£

they

At? e

/•«: /Tc 0_3

*=•

_.£.

mBS§|

THIS

PLACE IS

ABOUT

WOPKED

^ OUT.

OPA-^C 1 V/ASN 'T 6 N’T !?£'„/ I

/.••6__.

'PUSTINS OP

eueeA ano

1 M,

NOW, ” TO SEE IF THESE BULLETS WOBK... DON'T

WANT TO

LEAVE ANY WITNESSES.

*EVEN

” IP

THEY ABE PABT-TIME

WEBE-

AND BEFOBE

f I

LEAVE I'M

SOINS TO SET ME ANOTHEP 80TTLE OF k.THAT WINE/^ l

.ADY^N AND SENT, TO SAY

TIME

SOODNISHT.

W6LL, THAT'S

THAT.

'eecAuse^ of you, I HAO TO sleep in a DUMPSTEP k

TODAYS

THE

CLUB you

HIT

WITH.

MUST HAVE SEEN HAWLthopne. ^ .

^AND/^ y£S. I'M 1

DEAD. I'VE

SEEN DEAD L

( .

vm^^fa^Kg

r^\

/ ra j.n JN_.‘3y

...

p or

iv-V

Are

were

WiPPMi |\

.vAMPtees.'

A LONS J TIME.

ANIMAL LOVERS, PLEASE NOTE THAT NO WEREACTUALLY

WOLVES WERE

MISTREATED

^^OF THAT

THE MAKING KILLED, YES'.

VIDEO!

MISTREATED, NO!

ENOUGH OF THAT, SCARENTINO

IT’S

TIME

TO^

SAY GOOD NIGHT,

KID-DIES!

BUT BEFORE WE PUT THIS ISSUE TO DEATHBED MUST WARN OUR ROTTEN READERS NOT TO MISS OUR NEXT ISSUE! IT FEATURES TWO TERROR-TALES YOU WON’T SOON FORGET! >

GOOD NIGHT, KIDDIES! AND PLEASANT SCREAMS!

PAPERCUT*

TALES FROM

NO. 8

ALL-NEW!

THE

of 2

COVERS

CRYPT THIS ISSUE: AN AU-NCW STORY BY

JOE

JOHN

LANSDALE & LANSDALE

CHAMPION MOJO STORYTtUCRS!

YOO-HOO, IS THERE A CRYPTKEEPER IN THE CRYPT? I’LL EVEN SETTLE FOR .

A VAULT-KEEPER...?

IF YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU, C-K, RUN FOR YOUR UNUFE! IT’S THE OLD WITCH

T=?.

Jr AS SCARY AS F

THAT WOULD-BE

BOOK BANNER CAN BE, SHE DOESN’T HOLD A CANDLE TO

Lapep

NEPHTHYS...

OH, IT’S

JUST HER!

«,

THOUGHT IT WAS SARAH PAUNl

MY NAMB IS 0006. OR. OOU&LA S CHANPLER.ANP )M ABOUT TO TBLL YOU A STOk-Y ABOUT SOMBTH1NG SO EVIL, YBT SO BEAUTIFUL THAT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET IT kOR THB REST OF YOUR OAYS.

IT HAUNTS VERy PA/..

JST

Hwj

aJ ;

bin f

|JHr£ *j|S|

im'-n '

MMrn

OOU6,

come iN. HOW ARB YOU

my boy? >

RBCBNTLY HB CALLEP ASKBO

UP ANO MB TO COM TO HIS HOMB ANO PRIVATE CLINIC TO SEE Him WITH NO EXPLANATION.

:h;,

\^m i

.>•

TO THIS

UVBO

IT.

HAPN T HEARD FROM ALBERT SCOTTSPALE IN yEARS SINCE mEPICAL SCHOOL. HE WAS ONE OF my PROFESSORS.

•

/ME

HELLO

ALBERT. YOU RE LOOKING .X WELL.

SmWA H

_WHOA Girl

WAIT /WIN.

HER

HER LE ‘THEY RE WORKING.

THAT'S CALLE YOU HBRB.

HOW CAk l

that ae^( I’VE FOUNO M A WAY TO ALLOW A LIVING CREATURE TO \x APAPT TO AUTOMATICALLY CHANGE AT A GENETIC LEVEL TO APAPT TO AN/

V .

PHYSICAL PA/WAGE, INJURY, OR PIS6A5E.

BUT HOW?

HE LEP

/WE

TO HIS LAB

BENCH ANP BEGAN TO EXPLAIN IN PETAIL HIS PISCOVERY ANP E X PER l/W ENTS. WILL NOT REITERATE IT FOR

IN THE ENP WAS SHOCKER AT HIS PISCOVERY BUT NOT AS SHOCKER AS WAS WHEN HE TOLP /WE WHAT HE WANTEP I

TO PO NEXT.

PARE NOT SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS ANP ALLOW IT TO BE REPEATER AS YOU WILL SEE WNY I

LATER

IN /Wy

STORY

GOOP

CALLER

YOU HERE IN ^ HOPE YOU WOULP HELP /WE WITH THE NEXT STEP IN MY

L .

LORP, ALBERT, THIS IS INCREPIBLE.

A .

EXPERI/WENT.

WHAT'S THAT?

yb s. in ^ / THE NEXT IN My ROOM PRIVATE VSURSERXJ f i

WHAT?! ARE yp MAP?!

ar CALM f /OURSELF N

OOUG.

HAVE

PLANNED ANP THOUGHT IT THROUGH

NOT ENOUGH obviouslx you^N.> VER y WELL KNOW THIS IS NOT ETHICAL TO MENTION j ^ NOT ILLEGAL. T

WITH MX HEART RACING TO

BURST OUT OF MY CHEST RAN INTO THE SURGERy ROOM ANP TO My UTTER ASTONISHMENT, THERE A W OMAN LAY. I

SHE? My

SOP^N

BBP.TYOU MEAN HAVfe SOMEONE IN MINP? .

SHE MAY HAVE BEEN BEAUTIFUL ONCE BUT NOW NEARLy A CORPSE. PATCHES OF HAIR MISSING, SKINNy AS A SKELETON, HER SKIN A SHRIVELEP MESS AS MUSCLE LOSS IS EVIPENT. SHE WAS

WITHERING AWAX

FINAL STAGES. SHE WAS A TRANSIENT, WALKEP INTO My MGViCAL OFFICE ANP COLLAPSEP. ALL SHE WAS ABLE TO TELL ME WAS HER NAME, APEP NBPHTHYS. OPP I'/AME,

I5N T IT?

SHE WILL

NOT LAST THE NIGHT

y ( V

> My IS gMastl/ >

GOP. THIS

SHE

r P/ING. WE WILL BE SAVING HER LIFE. YOU > WISH TO LET HER PIE IF yOU CAN HELP IT? IS / THAT ETHICAL? C

X .

SUPPOSE NOT

OKAy, WILL ASSIST you. but we neep her I

written consent

HAVe ^ EVER/THING

^ .

PREPAREP^

MISS NSPHTH/S.

P* you SURE KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO C HARM,

ALLOW MS tO INTRODUCE M/ FRIE AN D ONB OF THE 06 AND BRIGHTEST \ YOUNG DOCTORS 7

A GIRL.

TODAY.

im /ILL YOURS, HANO SO/KB ,

supposb^^^

/ you RE TR/IN© TO. HOOK /MB UP USH A LITTLE LATE, OONT/

MISS T [NEPHTHyS, r

HUH..^ WHATS 1

HELL...

THAT MISS

MB/ HANPSO/WS

NEPHTHyS^

UN0HH

™ .

OON T BE SO ARE VER/

BASHFUL. YOU

MISS

"\HANPSO/Vie.

EPHTHyS. you sufce FULLy AWARE

= i

DR SCOTTS ASKING of you? ^

5 IS

ODDS WELLT^s.

you MAy Not SURVIVE THE NIGHT IF IT FAILS, NOTHING S.CHANGES. BUT IF ITV ^

THE SURGERy TOOK

WORKS...

HOURS.

COULDN T BELIEVE HOW ALBERT CAME UP WITH HIS PROCBDU RE. IT WAS FRIGHTENING IN ITS GENIUS. JUST HOPBD ALBERT WA SN 7 OUR MODERN-AGED FRANKENSTEIN. I

FOR APEP WAS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE A MONSTER.

OR SO

THOUGHT

it seems SO IMPOSSIBLE. x^ IT'S BEEN 40 HOURS \ NOW ANP SHE SEEMS

TO ACTUALLY BE GETTING

BETTER IS THIS THE SURGERy? OR JUST ONB OF THOSE RARE CASES OF // REMISSION? >/;

X ^

WHAT IS X. 9 MORE ASTONISHING X. IS HER RATE OF HEALING. SKIN PUNCTURES. 7 ABRASIONS. ALBERT y^STERPA/ TOOK A \ SLOOP SAMPLE. BEFORE HE HAP EVEN EXTRACTEP ONE C.C. THE SKIN STARTEP TO HEAL AROUNP THE NEEPLE, ANP AS HE PULLEP THE SyRINGE OUT THE HOLE SEALEP UP WHAT TOOK i V, TO HEAL FOR yS \ SECONPS HER. WOULP NORMALLy

IT'S

BEEN ONLy

3 PAys ANP SHE'S GETTING BETTER ANP BETTER By THE HOUR. IT S MIRACULOUS. HER HAIR IS FULLER, HER SKIN LESS

'-v.

ANP LESS GAUNT COUGHING IS GONE ANP Ht:R IMMUNE >/y X. SySTEM IS ALMOST

AT NORMAL.

S BEEN ^ A ITWEEK ANP TWO PAyS SINCE THE SURGERy ANP THE HIV SEEMS TO BE COMPLETELT INERT. A CURE FOR AIPS. IT'S ALMOST UNFATHOMABLE, BUT IS THE PROOF _ SHEHOW A FAR CAN PX / THIS GO? I

WILL

NOT PISPUTE ALBERT THE

IT.

Experiment

HAS WORKEP V MIRACLES.

WORK. NOW WE LL N / HAVE TO KEEP HER '

UNPER OBSERVATION, BUT THAT

DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN T LET HER STRETCH HER \LEGS ANP TAKE IN j 50ME FRESH v

KX— x f

r\V-

AIR.

^7 ABSOLUTgLXTl — SOUNPS LIKE A \Jgreat ipeav r~

L-lfJ

LETS f CALL HER PO

SHALL WE!

TAKE PAyS.

HAVE SO/ME PLEASANT NEWS. OOU6 HERE IS GOING TO TAKE YOU FOP. A WALK IN THE PARK I

^ AH mss NEPHTHYS.NICE TO SEE YbU UP

ANP ABOUT

FEEL EXCELLENT.

WE OFF AT THE HOSPITAL NEARBY AN V YOU CAN TAG ALONG. SOUND J \ GOOD. MY A

THANK you.

HANP

YES.

ooug

PROPPING

pear?

A8SOLUTELT

ka/ you

8 THE PARK ACROSS THE ;

STREET.

APEP ' / WENTIONEP / HAVING NO FA/WILT SO AM GOING TO CONTINUE

APEP, X, go \ X you justP LIKE \ / TOAHEAP. TALK TO DOUG A MOMENT IF YOU FEEL

fOR FRIENPS

SIT

^\\/

ANP

RE5T

9 MB:

HER STAY \ TOATLET THE HOUSE S N. FOR A TIWE.^X

TIREP AT ALL THERE APE NICE BENCHES FOR YOU J \ THERE TO k

" 1

“

THAT S A FINE IPEA

‘

1 | 1

WE CAN OBSERVE THeB',

FURTHER EFFECTS OF THE PROCEDURE.

up f 4Jv

1'.

•'/Lffi,

’

-&*

’*

:a -jrtT'-f.i CAN PA/ HER ROO/W

AND 30AR0 AS WELL AS A WEEK^S O IT GIVES her the 6ppor TUNIT/ TO START HER NEW LIFE ON A POSITIVE SAY, 250

note;

YOU RB RIGHT, ALBERT,

SHE DESERVES IT AFTER THE ORDEAL SHE HAS ©ONE THROUGH AND IT WILL HELP HER FEEL BETTER ABOUT BEING OUR LITTLE GUINBA PIG

•OKA/ AGREED SPEAK 17~> UCO A« IT IT IT AS AC TO HER ABOUT YOU TWO WALK THE PARK /-VI

AND IW SURE SHE'LL ACCEPT.”

GO ON, CATCH UP WITH HER BEFORE SHE GETS HERSELF INTO TROUBLE ON HER

FIRST OAY

OUr

ffl

•

r OH, /My

gov

apep?

you

KNOW

THIS

WO/MAN

7 ?

yes,

WHAT’S THE /MATTER 7

[

THB HBLL

k V\ k j y-

was^^^B

THAT?" l"i

CA/YB FRC/M THE IT

THE PARK.

W f

(

1 I

jjf

--JiX *

NO,

-m-irr

HL»

PLENTY 'W^ you R GIRLFRIEND X HERE TOOK /My GUN OUT

'OF /My HOLSTER AND SHOT A yOUN<5 WO/MAN TO DEATH. *

-v

•-

APEP-J

jg^

/MORE /MAT HAVE BEEN

HURT OR KILLED IF HADN'T STOPPED

sdi

THERE

/MUST BE A w /MISTAKE.

^ 'HEPS. PRE-/MEDIyES.

TATED /MURDER.

.GO/ME ON, SISTER,

yOU RE GOING

DOWNTOWN.

S HE JUST TOOK OFFICER O'ROURKE S GUN -AND...

/ACCORDING ^ TO WITNESSES, SHE PULLED THE GUN OUT OF ITS HOLSTER. WALKED RIGHT UP TO THE GIRL, AND SHOT HER IN THE

HEAD TWICE.

WE HAVE THE WITNESSES ^ READ/ TO IDENTIF/ HER ALONG WITH Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;f^OURKG

r '

HERE AS SOON AS HER APPOINTED DEFENDER ^ V^ ARRIVES. _^^B ,

...SHOT

A WO/WAN

DOWN.

WHAT IS IT. O'ROURKE

THAT'S ^

NOT HER?

SIR,

TELLING

THAT IS NOT THE WO/WAN ARRESTED. >/

TOU, .

I'LL

SET THE POOR.

ME?

./ALBERT.

excuse C/AN

HELP

you?

DO KNOW ?? I

come

NOW, HAND- ^ some, IS THAT A WAy TO GREET A FRIEND? A

^ BUT ^

APEf?

HOW... WHAT

WAS..?

AREN T ^ see me? a

yOU GLAP TO

x yes of COURSE BUT. HOW PIP

YOU?

APAPTEP.

HANPSOME.

ISN'T THAT WHAT .THE EXPERIMENT

LWAS

ABOUT? A

T HBY ~ let you

^ go?

TTHEy tes. HAD r

THE Tney

WRONG WOMAN.

so ^orTHOUGHT. .

I/M

SATING.

HANc?so/vie. is

THAT ITS THE ORC?ER

OF THE SPECIES SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL AS ANO |^| AS DIDN'T LIKE IT. SHE WAS WEAK, WAS STRONG, s* WAS THE VICTOR.

/V\URC?eR'?

â&#x20AC;&#x201D; ir CALL IT WHAT r /MURDER? DO you Y ARE /OU CALL A TIGRESS you

SHE WAS

KILLING

ELK,

/M/

INFERIOR.

SA / N G 1

/MURDER? DO yOU CALL A FALCON KILLING i

RODENT

/murder?

MY GOD, YOU /MEAN yOU DID /MURDER THAT >T WO/MAN??

^AREso,SUPERIOR you ^ THEN?

you

SHOULD KNOW, HANDSO/ME, yOU HELPED /MAKE /ME WHAT A/M

^ k

r SILENCE. \L/ r DO NOT WISH TO SPEAK OF IT ANYMORB AND

NOW.

APEP

HOW CAN .

you...?

TIRED I/M GOING TO APPROPRIATE DR.

I/M

^ L

SCOTTSDALE S BEDROO/M.

WATCHBV HBR WALK UP THE STAIRS AND THAT WAS THE LAST TI/ME SAW HER BEFORE SHE DISAPPEARED. I

THE NEXT /MORNING SHE WAS GONE.

BEHIND we

WE READ ABOUT

HER EXPLOITS IN THE NEWS. AND

FOUR YEARS WE SAW HER ON

LATER,

T HE WHITE HOUSE.

WHERE NEWL Y APPOINTED SECRETARY OF HOMELAND

SECURITY FORMER US ATTORNEY

NICK PENNINGTON WITH THE ^ VGENERAL PRESIDENT. \ CONFERENCE

TELEVISION.

„

— HERE WE SEE NICK PENNINGTON HIMSELF WITH HIS LOVELY ^FIANCE. ^ APEP NEPHTHYS, OUTSIDE A BENEFIT GALA HELD LAST WEEK.

AS YOU ALREADY KNOW PENNINGTON WAS APPOINTED AFTER THE ^ MYSTERIOUS DEATH OF HIS

PREDECESSOR

SHE S BEEN MARRIED THREE IN THE LAST FOUR

TIMES

DEFINITELY NOT A

COINCIDENCE.

WITH HER

NEW INVOLVEMENT

WITH THIS NICK PENNING-

TON PERSON, OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING THAT MAY THREATEN THE a FREE WORLD.

v '

IT'S

JUST HARD TO THINK THAT I...

YOU HAD NO IDEA WOULD HAPPEN. IT S ALMOST TOO

THIS

> AMASSING GREAT WEALTH, BUT TO WHAT END?

THIS

DON'T

BLAME YOURSELF

YEARS, TWO HUSBANDS MYSTER IOUSLY DIE AND ONE COMMITTED TO AN INSTITUTION. ALL LEAVING THEIR FORTUNES TO HER.

UNBELI...

^ABOUT ...WHAT YOUF.

r YOU

KNOW HAVE.

FIANCE?

mmsT we re going ^ VFO R A CONFERENCE IN IRAQ TO /MEET WITH THE 1

PRI/ME /MINISTER. /WORE,

ON THE NEW

TALK

OE/VIOCRACy^» FUNNY

WORD IN A WORLD ^ LIKE THIS, I5N T IT? PEACE IS NOT IN HU/WAN ^1 NATURE. WENT ON AHEADj HE WILL CALL FOR L A /ME HERE IN THE _^B MORNING. ^SlfB I

THAT S NOT WHAT /MEANT ARE \1 IN LOVE WITH HI/M? DIP YOU EVEN FEEL I

YOU

THE/M?

FOR AN/ OF THE

IF WANTEP^V-f LOVE WOULD A COMB TO YOU. HANPSO/ME. PONT LOOK SO BASHFUL. HOW COULD NOT NOTICE THE k WAy YOU LOOK y r I

r HELLO

HANPSO/ME. CO/ME

.CAN

IN?

—

AT /ME?

/MONEy^

r THEN

WHAT IT?

WHAT S X KA GODDESS

THE

JWONE/?

NEED WITH ^/MONey? y ,

?^ODDESSf>

THAT'S WHAT^"-^ IS THAT WHAT ^v. yOU /MADE /ME. I/M v YOU THE /MOST POWERFUL WO/MAN >J ' IN THE WORLD THANKS TO YOU AND DR SCOTTSDALE. NOW DICTATE NICK LIFE AND DEATH. HAVE POWERS PENNINGTON. HE BBYONO NOR/MAL /MAN. IS THAT y IS SUPPOSED TO BE NOT WHAT /MAKES ^3 SOMEONE SO IMPORTANT. IN A GODDESS? CHAFGB OF KEEPING A/MERICA SAFE. BUT TO /ME HE IS ONLY A PUPPET AND PULL THE STRINGS. WITH HI/M LL HOLD THE FATE ^ IS THAT OF THE WORLD IN /My r WHAT you ARE HANDS. ^

AREX

AFTER? THE

EWORLD? ^

IS NOT ^^B W ISWHAT A GODDESS ^ /MEANT FOR? THE IT

WORLD WILL BOW DOWN TO /ME WILL yOU RULE k. AT /M/ SIDE, HANDSO/ME? .

you RE l

APEPB 1

evil^^

BAD you HADN T REALIZED THAT WHEN r you DECIDED TO HELP DR. \ SCOTTSDALE. APEp IN /M/ NATIVE LANGUAGE, IS THE VERy PERSONI FICATION OF EVIL, /M/ /MOTHER KNEW IT THE OAY HER BYBS .FIRST /MET /MINE. SHE NAMED /ME ^AT THAT VERy MOMENT WHEN / SHE WHISPERED THE ./ WORD APEP

ANYWAY.

^^^B

NICK WILL CO/ME FOR /ME IN THE /MORNING. NEED TO REST UNTIL THEN. I/M GOING TO DR SCOTTSDALE S ROOM FOR THE NIGHT. /M/ OFFER STILL STANDS, A I

^S>.

HANDSO/ME

jr f

SHE IS ABSOLUTBLY

EVIL,

ALBERT. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S PLANNING TO VO?

yes

OVER HEARD I

we have TO STOP HER.

WE CAN TALK TO THIS PBNNING-

k TON

FELLOW.

AND SAY Xg WHATr yOU KNOW / WHAT CO/WES OVER yOU N WHEN SHE IS AROUND YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT SHE IS. SHE HAS VERy STRONG SEDUCTIVE V POWERS. NO WAy WOULD y .

THEN THE ONLy WAy BUT

F REVERSE-SURGERy > IS

HOW? SHE

PROBABLT

LI/MMUNE TO ANy FORM > ANESTHESIA. .'J

I^OF

HE EVEN LISTEN to us.

WAY&B ONLY IN a HU/MAN DOSES. HAVE A BOTTLE OF CHLOROFORM Xg IN STORAGE. IN SMALL DOSES 1 IT'LL PUT SO/VIEONE TO SLEEP BUT A HIGH DOSE WILL KILL. IF WE USE A LETHAL DOSE IT MAy TAX HER ADAPTIVE POWERS TO THE V POINT OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS, A HOPEFULLy GIVING US SOlME^ TIME TO OPERATE.

WORTH X, A TRX CAN'T BELIEVE IM SAyiNG

p r

IT'S

THIS, k

BUT WE CAN T

LET HER LEAVE

the fate

OF THE FREE WORLD

ALIVE.

AT STAKE.

J^***^^ OKAY, ' NOW PUT IT OVER HER FACE. LL HELP HOLD HER y DOWN.

DOSAGB, IT SHOULD ONLy TAKE A FEW TO TAKE

xMOMENTS

EFFECT.

^ TIGHTLY, OA/YIN

IT,

TIGHTLY!

UNGH. Â»/W

TR/1N<5,

ALBERT!

SHE & GETTING... ^ /ENGH... STRONGER? HER STRENGTH... UNGH... IS

AOAPTING TO /M. ./WATCH /MINE? CAN'T HOLV IT /MUCH LONGER?

aw,

roc*

roots?

^THINK you ^ you CAN KNOCK /Me UNCON SCIOUS!?.'

WAIT,

you weÂ«e GOING TO

OPGRATG on me.

KILL

SHOULP YOU BOTH

STANP!

WHERE YOU

BUT

WILL NOT lowbr m/seLF

TO yOUR PATHBTIC

^1S

LeveL.

WGLL LOOK

THIS

WHAT yOU Re LOOKING FOR, POCTOR?

WAS

THIS PLAN s. >

WERE

^ ~ ?

you GOING TO SLIT PAY

THROAT

WITH IT?,

WATCH

HOW yOUR 1 FUTILe ATTempT

K ,

WOULP HAVE FAILGP.

NOW ^ GST OUT! LEAVE me to my sLumeeR. NICK WILL BE CALLING for me in THe

^ .

mORNING.

MT GOP, VOUG. VIV YOU see HeR eyes? shb

IS NO LONGER HUMAN. SHE IS BBYON OUR STOPPING HER. SHS IS INVINCIBLE. WILL NOTHING > STOP HeR?’?’

TT%w

CARBON

PIOXIPE.

FILLBV WITH THS GAS WOULP BE FATAL TO ANY

AVERAGE PBRSON ANP WG Neep not make contact WITH HSR TO APMIN ist br it. X,

WILL

^ we FILL THe BEPROOM WITH

' IT ANP IT LL HOPBFULLy CHOKB HBR INTO UNCONSCIOUSNCSS. HSR APAPTIVE ABILITIES , Ik WON'T KNOW WHAT /

WORK?

HIT THEM.

IT IS

OUR LAST OPTION. PoesN t we WONT

if it

HAVE TO WORRy ANY LONGBR. SHB LL SURBLY KILL US ,

THIS TIME.

HAVE A COLLSAGUe I

WHO CAN SUPPLT US TWO

TANKS. I'LL HAVE IT SBNT TO US IMMEPIATELX^

...Tne

ROOM'S AS

AIRTIGHT AS S GOING TO

GET,

k sea ea

ANP

WITH CAULKING AROUNV THE OUTSIPE OF THE .

WINDOW...

ANY

> MOMENT NOW, f VOUG, THB GAS SHOULP BE FILLING THE ROOM

r OKA^ THE ^ POOR CRACK ANP THE VENTS INSIPE ARE

ANP SOON START TAKING BFFBCT / ON APEP

THERE /SHOULP 8£ ENOUGH^ r CONCENTRATION OF

AVERAGE WOULP SUREL/ fc SE PEAP. yTtfr

CARSON PIOXIPE INSIPE ST NOW WHERE PERSON

tf-HE

SHE IS COUGHING 1 HEAVILy NOW. CAN HEAR HER STRUGGLING TO GET OUT OF SEP CAN HEAR THE LAMP ANP FALL TO ^ CLOCK THE FLOOR. AJ I

HEAVy

^^B

FOOTSTEPS ^ AS SHE STRUGGLES TO STAy UPRIGHT. AS SHE COMBS CLOSER TO THE /

^ ^ ^ HEAR ANyTHING CAN'T yET.

WAIT,

POUG, T PLEASE.

PON T L

Mk'V

KILL

ME.

PLEA SI IM NOT l REALLT EVIL,'

Jfl

— /^PO NOT LISTEN 7

SHE'S STARTING TO COUGH. ^

POOR

TO HER, POUG.

OFF HER J \FIGHT INFLUENCE^

r POua\C4 LOVE YOU I

ase.

WON T LISTEN?

Wr --iMtVottiLr #r * "i

line

ra v

PRO'Miseis

-YOU? THe WfiRLI: - j

QUICK.' we HAVE TO SHUT OFF TUB CARBON DIOXIPE BEFORE IT OVER TAKES US AS WELL.

^ ^STHERE, OFF S IT

OVER NOW

THIS

HOW THE

STORY ENDS.

WE WERE ABLE TO VO THE PROCEDURE WITHOUT INCIDENT.

SHE REVERTED SACK TO HER ORIGINAL STATE. THE AIDS HAD COMPLBTBLY OVER

COMB

THEN WHy DID FEEL SO BAD?

WAS IN LOVE WITH HER. AND MAYBB IN HER OWN TWISTED WAy SHE LOVED MB. I

HER.

IT WAS FOR THE BETTER. WE DID SAVE /MANKIND

WAS RIGHT ABOUT ONB THING.

WELL, SHE

AL/MOST TOOK HER UP ON HER OFFER TO RULE BY HER SIDE I

WOULDN'T HAVE

WORKED OUT ANyWAy.

AFTER

ALL,

ONLy HUMAN.

FOLKS ARE ALWAYS SCHEMIN’ TO HOLD OTHERS DOWN! LET ME TELL YOU, EVEN THE CRYPT-KEEPER AND THE VAULT-KEEPER ARE PART OF A GHOULOLD BOYS CLUB THAT LOVES KEEPING A GOOD W WOMAN DOWN! AFTER ALL, THEY’VE GOT a IX, CRYPTS AND VAULTS TO KEEP -

WHAT DO

HAVE?!

NEED TO

r WHIP UP A BATCH OL’

OF^

DOC SCOTTSDALE’S

SPECIAL POTION! BUT I’LL NEED TWO SPECIAL A k INGREDIENTS! g|s.

BUT POWER-HUNGRY PREDATORS DON’T JUST PREY UPON WOMEN! ANYONE THEY DEEM TO BE WEAK IS FAIR ^ GAME! TAKE STANLEY POTTS, FOR EXAMPLE! ALL HE HAD WAS A SIMPLE DREAM, AND AN OPPORTUNISTIC CO-

WORKER STOLE IT’S

IT!

ALL LOVINGLY

LAID

OUT

IN...

VIlT JFL

hoodoo

'"CONSPATULATIONS, 6APT.

WHAT A SPEAT

WHAT'S THE CELE6PATION?

r OH, SlDNEy/S

yOU WOULDN'T UNDEPSTAND.

SOLOES

A FANTASTIC

SAME

VTH£

IDEA

IDEA/

^S, FOP CALLED IT'S MONST BP

COMPANy^.

NBISHBOPHOOP .. 'WHAT.'P^ THAT'S

SAME.

DON'T 6£ > fPIOICULOUS. you

WOPK

IN THE MAIL HE'S THE SENIUS.

VPOOM.

WELL, IP IT ISN'T OL' SIDNEY.

you SOLD N YMONSTEP NEISH8 OPHOOD. THAT'S THE SAME I SAVE you.

THAT'S

THE TITLE YOU L SAVE ME. J

Y PEVVED \ I've

SIDNEY. I'VE SIVEN IT A NICE

UP,

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THOUGHT.

YOU KNOW, IT SURE WAS NICE OF THE OLD WITCH TO INVITE US INTO THIS HOT TUB! MAYBE WE

MISJUDGED HER!

COULD BE MISERABLY MISTAKEN, BUT I’M STARTING TO SUSPECT THIS AIN’T NO HOT TUB! THAT L IF WE DON’T GET OUT NOW - . WE’RE SOUP! I

•Trnrr^i

LIKE ANYONE WOULD WANT A BOWL OF CREAM OF ,

CRYPT-KEEPER SOUP!

YOU EVERGAGGING GHOULS ARE VITAL INGREDIENTS IN MY SPECIAL POWERPOTION!

>GASP!< >CHOKEl<

AS MUCH AS LOVE TO STAY AND

I’D

BECOME SECRET SAUCE, WITCHIE-POO, MY PALE SKIN IS GETTING ALL PRUNEY - AND I’M

SURE YOU DON’T WANT

PRUNES

YOUR

RECIPE!

SO, LET’S

fe.

MEET AGAIN NEXT

TIME,

TALES FROM THE CRYPT #9! AND REMEMBER, DON’T UPSET ANY WITCHES IF YOU WANT TO STAY OUT OF KIDDIES,

HOT WATER HEY, DYING HERE!!

I’M

my fellow

Gruesome

greetings,

political

Crypt-Keeper,

with

Americans!

me, your non-

It’s

SHRUNKEN

a somewhat

SELECTION of TEARLESS FEEDBACK from our CREEPY CONSTITUENTS. Seems like our usually tight-lipped editorial

them

around these parts. censorship,

from

Ironic, isn’t it? In

we have

to silence

un-DYING

expressing their

FROM THE CRYPT. Congratulations and

thank you for reviving a

Johnny

admiration for their favorite

Tell

true

DEMON-ocracy

may be a column as

I mean, democracy,

letting you the

VOTE every issue for your favorite stories.

rotten readers

er,

here

letters

close race this

was

time around with “Ignoble Rot" by writer Fred

Van Lente and artist Mort Toddjust squeaking past Moonlight

Old Witch

Those two will stoop to any level to get their

to this?

mags back! And in

grew up on.

me, Johnny, did the Vault-Keeper or the The

putyou up

POWERS-THAT-BE around

benevolent dictatorship, we’ve always ran this

Bailey

FEINDISH fans

HORROR comicbook! But while the

series

Sincerely,

orderfor them to talk about

a few of our

more mature audience...?) Or maybe you could Even if you don’t, I’m still going to keep

for a

reprint originals.

buying TALES

types are eager to spout off on a topic were super-sensitive about

case you didn't know, all ofthe original

comics are being reprinted as beautiful bigfull-cobr hardcover

You can buy

books by the geeks over at Gemstone Publishing

of 'TALES FROM THE CRYPT (as well as THE HAUNT OF FEAR, THE VAULT OF HORROR, and

the first few years

many more) for a mere $49.95 per volume - a than trying

to get the original

back

lot

cheaper

issues!

Sonata" by writers Joe andJohn lansdale and artist Chris Noeth.

Not much ofa

surprise really, as

ZOMBIES are hotter than ever

Keep those emails and

letters

these days.

coming - we Send

here in the Crypt ofTerror!

get so lonely

letters to:

The Crypt- Keeper’s Corner Td normally tell you all about our fifth frightful collection of TALES FROM THE CRYPT stories published in paperback and hardcover by Papercutz, but that'lljust have to wait till next time. Or you can simply check out the ad on our back cover. But if we’re going to squeeze any mail in, we better do so now.

40 Exchange

Place, Suite

New York, NY Or

email your

comments

to the

1308

10005

Old Editor at:

salicrup@papercutz.com

And Dear Crypt-Keeper, I

was recently

collectibles.

walked

local mall,

straight

told

visit

papercutz.com for the

latest

1990

kinds of comic

ail

for the

buy them so bad but didn’t have the to a box of horror comics with some

wanted pointed

reprints.

TALES

in the center plaza

He pulled down a stack of EC originals. It was He even had THE CRYPT OF TERROR issue two.

him

money.

SUBSCHTTflONS!

snatched the only two

would be so happy

For a one year (six-issue) subscription to

FROM THE CRYPT,

though the new ones are nothing I

and

He had

up to him and asked him

comics.

amazing. 1

be sure to

FROM THE CRYPT news! my

was a temporary comic vendor.

you could

CRYPTS he had. them,

revive

still

Even

love them.

THE HAUNT OF

FEAR and THE VAULT OF HORROR. (Maybe even make

order,

Send

to:

US funds

just only,

TALES

send o check or money for

$24.00.

subCRYPTions, PAPERCUTZ,

40 Exchange

Place, Suite 1308,

New

10005. Make checks payable to NBM. Or call 1-800-886-1223. MC, VISA, and

AMEX

accepted.

York,

A SPECIAL EDITORIAL BY CATHY GAINES MIFSUD we

Before

wc need

begin,

TALES FROM

make something

very

clear.

HE CRYPT is not endorsing any political We respect our readers' intelligence,

candidates or parties.

and

for those

do so

Nor

of you old enough to vote, wc encourage you

for the candidates

are

It’s

Gov. Sarah Palin,

to us. Also,

and

this

—

it’s

banning books from a

of Wasilla, Alaska, are true or

not.

We, of course,

certainly

that they’re indeed untrue.

possibly object to

of the hands of impressionable children.

You

1950

from

sec,

Gaines,

published

CRYPT EC line

comicbooks,

FEAR,

well

Well...

the

FROM THE

rest

of the entire

of comics, which included THE HAUNT OF THE VAULT OF HORROR, WEIRD SCIENCE,

When we decided

CRYPT

and editors

in the field,

those comics arc

still

and even

considered to

be shining examples of some of the best comics ever created. Unfortunately, during the height of the success of the

horror

titles,

there

was

movement

ban these comics,

based on the misguided notion that they were

somehow

turning children into juvenile delinquents. Just like some

blame video games and rap music for and for being a negative influence, back

politicians today try to sores of social

ail

then

ills

comics were the target.There were newspaper and

magazine

articles, investigations,

was

created, a

line

and

finally, a

Now,

MAD,

you actually look

Comics Code

which was turned into a

before.

Now,

new TALES

there’s certainly

that, but we decided to go with wc wanted TALES FROM THE CRYPT

over

are,

now

years from

will

still

a scary

the original

comic was launched, and

comic that wc hope

folks fifty

be talking about.

certainly understand the desire to protect children

unsuitable material, but is

be,

and artwork

fifty years after

FROM THE CRYPT

we don’t

from

banning books

believe that

the answer. As the situation exists today, both librarians

nor

children,

may be

act very' responsibly to assure that children

exposed

anything objectionable.

usually the excuse given

librarians,

work. As

far as

and booksellers

wc can

be behind banning books

may

that

when another agenda teachers, parents,

tell,

are doing a great job

sure children are indeed protected.

What

un-American

of making

usually seems to

an attempt to repress ideas

offer alternative political views.

—

Protecting

This

not only

blatantly violating the very concept

free

- but it is assuming that people arc unable to come to their own informed conclusions about controversial subjects. And how could they, if only one side of a debate is presented, speech

while literature expressing opposing views are suppressed?

Banning books represents of our fellow

and read those old

how

look at the hardcover collections of

tame they are by

incredibly

1990,

a lack

faith in the intelligence

citizens to think for themselves.

the

Comic Book

Legal

Defense Fund, was

incorporated as a non-profit charitable organization to fight

the only thing that might actually shock you

THE CRYPT

FROM THE CRYPT

wanted

Ians

code that meant the end of almost the entire

of comics. Only

magazine, managed to survive.

comics,

TALES

Those

for all-ages, with the very best writing

and booksellers

later,

whatever

sell

be what the original comic was always meant to

possible. So, here

are

TALES, FANTASY, WEIRD SCIENCE-FANTASY, CRIME SUSPIvNS TORIES, and one called MAD. Dad hired the artists,

certainly, every

or not

nothing wrong with

comic

SHOCK SUSPENSTORI ES, TWO-FISTED

now, over 50 years

to relaunch

comic had ever gone

WEIRD

very best writers,

And

sell

always determining exactly

FROM THE CRYPT series that would push the boundaries of modern horror, going places no TALES FROM THE

TALES

William

father,

TALES

original

challenge

we’re back trying to create a

1956

the

no unsuitable material ever

sure

hands of children.

suitable for children.

Papercutz because

book banning frightening to us? Surely, wc can’t anyone keeping objectionable material out

isn’t

all-ages graphic novels.

Why

and

wirh Papcrcutz, there were fans of the original comic that

looking into

Palin,

were surprised that we chose a publisher known for their

back when she was the mayor

library

The

they choose.

very unclear

its

in the

bookseller has the right to decide to

political

truly frightening

very important,

whether those early reports about Sarah

hope

issue's alternate

our version of a

simply expressing our reaction whenever

hear anything about book banning

make

the responsibility to

winds up

what

attacking any candidates. This

cover, featuring

cartoon.

of your choice.

today’s standards.

Take

TALES FROM

published by Gemstone, and look closely at

censorship and defend the

book

free

amendment

speech and love comicbooks,

you consider joining

first

rights

of comic

professionals throughout the United States. If

support

this

to www.cbldf.org.

may we

noble organization? For

you

suggest

full details,

only wish they were around when

father could’ve used their help.

those stories, and you’ll see that you’ll be hard-pressed to find

a single drop of blood. Sure, the stories were scary

what they were intended

same way from the

who

to be.

that’s

in the

that classic fairy talcs are scary, or even stories Bible.

Usually the stories were about someone

did something wrong, and

somehow

—

But they were scary

how

their victims

were

avenged.

Now, does

that

mean we

With

all

that said,

still

like to believe that we’re living in

a world that recognizes that children love a

good scary story, and that if it’s told responsibly with good taste, it sparks their imaginations and they become the next generation of such amazing creators as George Lucas, Stephen Speilberg, Stephen King, and R.L. Stine

believe that every

book ever

Thank

—

all

former

EC comics readers.

You,

published should be available to any reader of any age?

Cathy Gaines Mifsud

President William

course not! Certainly every bookstore and library has

Gaines, Agent, Inc.

€.D. FA ns:

YOU'VE WRITTEN! YOU'VE E-IYIAILED! YOU'VE PHONED! YOU'VE THREATENED US!

iwu ommot (BUT WE’HE COMING OUT WITH COLLECTIONS ANYWAY!)

MSI

PROM THE

CRYPT

COLLECTING STORIES BY BILGREY, CABRAL, MR.EXES, GNIEWEK, HUDSON, KAPLAN, KLEID, LANSDALE, LOBDELL, MANNION, MARTINEZ, MCGREGOR, MURASE, NOETH, PETRUCHA, ROMBERGER, SIMMONS, SMITH 3, TODD, VELILLA and VOLLMAR!

ON SALE NOW AT BOOKSTORES EVERYWHERE!

EAPERCUTM PROUDLY PRESENTS THE NERVE-WRACKING, PALIN-FREE NINTH ISSUE OF THE ALL-NEW...

,* :

'EFKlg

RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED TO WILLIAM M. GAINES, AL FELDSTEIN, REED CRANDALL, JOHNNY CRAIG, JACK DAVIS, WILL ELDER, GEORGE EVANS, GRAHAM INGELS, JACK KAMEN, BERNIE KRIGSTEIN, HARVEY KURTZMAN, JOE ORLANDO, GEORGE ROUSSOS, MARIE SEVERIN, AL WILLIAMSON, AND WALLY WOOD. “GLASS HEADS”

“CHICKEN MAN”

JOHN

FRED VAN LENTE WRITER

LANSDALE

WRITER

RYAN DUNLAVEY

JAMES ROMBERGER & MARGUERITE VAN COOK ARTISTS

ARTIST

MARK LERER LETTERER

GHOULUNATICS SEQUENCES JIM SALICRUP

WRITER RICK

PARKER

ARTIST/TITLE LETTERER /CO LOR

TERRY NANTIER

JIM SALICRUP

MARK LERER LETTERER

STEVEN MANNION COVER ARTIST CHRIS NELSON & SHELLY DUTCHAK

PRODUCTION MICHAEL PETRANEK EDITORIAL ASSISTANT

THE PUBLISHER

Caricatures by Rick Po

TALES FROM THE CRYPT, Vol. 2, No. 9. November 2008. Published bimonthly by Popercutz, 40 Exchonge Ploce, Ste. 10005. Copyright ® 2008 William M. Games, Agent, Inc. The EC logo Is a registered trademark of William M. Gaines’, permission. Nothing may be reprinted, reproduced, or posted on the internet or in chat groups in whole or port without w the publisher.

Any

unsolicited materials.

similarity to reol

people and pieces

fiction

Return postage must accompany submissions.

and semi-fiction Terry Nanfier.

purely coincidental.

CEO and

Sotryb, Art Director; Tony Shenton. Sales Manager; Martha Samuel. Traffic Manager. Printed

Publisher;

Canada.

Publisher

{

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FEATURING

THE CRYPT-KEEPER

THE VAULT-KEEPER

71896 45306

CHICKEN MAN BY LANSDALE & ROMBERGER!

WELCOME BACK, BOORS AND GHOULS, TO THE NEW AND IMPROVED CRYPT OF TERROR FEATURING MY CAULDRON OF CHILLS! IF YOU WERE EXPECTING THE DECREPIT CRYPT-KEEPER AND THE VACUOUS VAULTKEEPER TO GREET YOU, THEY’RE HELPING ME . COOK UP A REAL POT-BOILER FOR YOU!

>GLASP! GLUGG CHOKE!< 4

QUIET!

PESKY INGREDIENTS'.

BUT

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DOG

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NOT GETTING CHICKENS! JUST ASK WILL BENDER, BETTER KNOWN AS...

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—

TURNS OUT

CHANDLER WELLS WAS JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER - A SUCKER FOR A PRETTY FACE! a

MAN .

SPEAKING OF SUCKERS, THE CRYPT-KEEPER ^ AND THE VAULT-KEEPER SEEMED TO HAVE HAD SOME UNFORTUNATE MY CAULDRON’S CREEPY CASSEROLE

.SIDE EFFECTS TO

^ >BBLLARGHFF!!<

”

w C-K

WHILE OL’ UP-CHUCKING IN HIS INNER IS

SANCTUM

>BLAA RRRFFF!!< ~

—

V-K HAS SUDDENLY BECOME ALL WARM AND

‘

FUZZY!

I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS, OLD WITCH!

BARF-BREATH

ABLE TO GET HIS ACT TOGETHER HE SHOULD BE READY TO HOST HIS CRYPT-KEEPER’S CORNER COLUMN, FEATURING YOUR COUNTLESS REQUESTS TO DUMP HIM AND THE FAULT-KEEPER, AND TO HAVE ME TAKE OVER TALES FROM THE CRYPT ON A PERMANENT ^ BASIS! BE HERE NEXT ISSUE TO SEE IF JUSTICE PREVAILS.

BUUUURRPPU

“Palin,

‘Scuze me, kiddies, your of pal the Crypt-Keeper just had the most DREADFUL DINING experience, thanks to The Old Witch! Would you believe she made me SICK and the Vault- Keeper RAT-ATOUILLE! Ifshe ever invites

you to lunch, LIFE!

RUN FOR YOUR

were

still painfully

issue's

SCARY

Press

a conversation about

mayor of

GOP

and

Wasilla, Alaska.

ban books

candidate has said

who

book banning

even entertains

a natural

enemy

from the Crypt,’ according to Jim Salicrup,

editor-in-chief of Papcrcutz, the publisher that revived title

about 16 months ago. ‘This was not

partisan thing. People tend to think of everything as

black and white these days

one of the

parties

special editorial received!

history of

— you are either for or against

00%. But

for us this

was about the

Comics, the original publisher of

‘Tales

from the Crypt.’ Anyone who knows that history knows of whiff of banning books is going to get us that even

angry.”

which was picked up by the Associated

it,

and SPLATTERED

Geoffy wrote.

“The cover

on two occasions she asked ‘a rhetorical question’ about removing objectionable books from shelves, but that she never pursued it or mentioned specific titles. that

CATHY GAINES MIFSUD'S

For example, GHOULISH GEOFF (THE BUTCHER) BOUCHER of the L. A. Times wrote a GHASTLY

PIECE about

1996 while

a local public library, the

the classic

SARAH PALIN cover (drawn by Ricko “the Sicko” Parker)

from

to ‘Tales

(don’t

try this at home!) over all the

attention last

Criticized after reports that she sought to

“But any White House candidate

Meanwhile, back at the

CRYPT.

PINCHING ourselves

meanwhile, has taken heat for some overtures

made

she

Well,

across newspapers world-wide.

la-dee-dah!

Who knew

Salicrup

was such a

PUN-DIT? GRUESOME GRAEME McMILLAN writing the Political Science (Fiction) column

POLITICAL .

a reference co cwo instances of content

debate, one that played out on a national stage and the

other a seemingly minor

made major by

moment in Alaska

on io9 asked “Are Comics Part of the Left-Wing Media Conspiracy?” as well as. .

that has been

the current political season.

“You may be wondering exactly what Sarah

Palin’s

personal policies arc, ahead of tonight’s Vice Presidential '“Tales

names years

from the Crypt’ became one of the signature and American pop culture after five

in horror

That was

after

mayhem

ended in 1955. months of intense pressure and new

of memorable

that

industry regulations targeting the lurid comics, spurred

by televised Senate subcommittee hearings on juvenile delinquency and

its

causes.

Debate, and we’re happy to help you with she’s anti-witch... or, at least, that’s

that:

Apparently,

the message that

from the October issue of the revived TALES FROM THE CRYPT. And, as this year’s US Presidential election nears, this one previously nonget

from

this cover

partisan genre staples

the Republican ticket arc trying to get in

move is

into editorializing against

only one

on the

action.”

way

which comics

^VVAVV<^^Vvv^Vy^AiwVV\ But the

POLITICALLY INCORRECT INSANE

bestest

Skeleton

Man

just three pages earlier... pretty

funny!

observation was online at Gawker.com, where

In closing.

IAN SPIEGELMAN wrote:

back

“The

highlight

guest spot front

of Sarah

on SNL, or her

of screaming crazy

page.

scary

not her

It’s

stump speeches

The

lettered

comicbooks, and so few ...

two

SHOCK-

we did receive a couple of RIOTOUS

REACTIONS... (In

have them.

Sincerely,

Colorado Springs, that! There were

FILLED STORIES in TALES FROM THE CRYPT if8 as well. And while were still tabulating the votes on which SCARE-TALE was our ROTTEN

READERS fave,

still

such a great aspect of

Mark Robinson

Tales from the Crypt.”

But enough about

thank you for having

cover for

racists. It’s this

thank you for bringing

just like to

I’d

this classic title. Also,

letters

Palin’s career?

the meantime, go to the

TALES

Hey, Mark, did you ever think that those other comics don't have letter

columns

to write 'em in

face

how can

it,

‘cause they can’t get Yours Truly

HORRIFIC style? Let's

world-famous

they really compete with

me?

FROM THE CRYPT section of www.papercutz.com and vote online for your favorite story from

THIS

issue!)

Dear Crypt-Keeper, Hello

Subject:

TALES

editorial

fan of F.C

Comics,

welcome the

FROM THE CRYPT

and the guest

and

by Cathy Gaines Mifsud.

a long-time fan

Comics,

it’s

interesting

Ray Bradbury “Home to #13). You forgot to acknowledge Stanley G. Weinbaum’s (writing as John Jesse!) oft-reprinted “The Adaptive Ultimate"

how can

(WEIRD FANTASY

(originally published in

1935) or

its

Astounding

film adaptation

source of “She

Who Would

Stories,

comics.

loved

it.

but

hard to get hold of your comics.

subscribe? first

And also

will

be able ro back

issues as well as future ones.

Brett Stephenson

England

November

SHE DEVIL

(1957) Rule the World.”

wish you the best of luck

as the

What’s the matter, Brett? Too lazy to travel to the to get

your horror comics fix? Fortunately for you

there’s

milehighcomics.com for back issues, and barnesandnoble. comfor our CADAVEROUS COLLECTED EDITIONS,

in the future.

Leonid Doroschenko

available in both soft

and (for those who collect STIFFS...)

hard covers.

CREDS as DANGEROUS! Sadly,

If only we had an editor with the SCI-FI

LEONID,

wed

then

really

and he lamely pleads that TALES FROM THE CRYPT

we're still stuck with Salicrup,

the correct credits in both

comic

8 and graphic

novel

5 should have

Keep those emails and

BY STANLEY ADAPTED BY

letters

any Pcpto, we could use that

coming

Send

too.

and

you've got

letters to:

read:

The

“SHE WHO WOULD RULE THE WORLD” (BASED ON “THE ADAPTIVE ULTIMATE”

Crypt-Keeper’s Corner

40 Exchange

WEINBAUM)

CHRISTIAN ZANIER

Place, Suite

New York, NY Or

email your

comments

to the

1308

10005 Old Editor

at:

salicrup@papercutz.com

WRITER, ARTIST, LETTERER, COLORIST,

MARVIN MARIANO COLORIST

Dear Crypt-Keeper, Just wanted to make a few comments about TFTC #8. Who Would Rule the World” was very well done. Both the story and the art were great. Very enjoyable. As for “Virtual Hoodoo,” it was passable, but did not do much for me. One thing I found hilarious... Barts left hand shot up from the crypt when the monsters called upon him. In and of itself, not funny. However, when you consider his left arm was ripped off by Crazy

;“She

purchased number 7 of the new

it is

order and get the

England, and

the return of the

see

Stay” precedent

FROM TOE CRYPT

here in England

As to

just recently

TALES

I live

FROM THE CRYPT comics

big fan of the old TALES

FROM THE CRYPT #8

TALES

As a long-time revival of

my name is Brett,

FROM THE CRYPT, order, in

Send

to:

just

TALES

send o check or money

US funds only, for $24.00. subCRYPTions, PAPERCUTZ,

40 Exchange

Place, Suite 1308,

10005. Make checks payable Or call 1-800-886-1223.

MC, VISA, and AMEX accepted.

New NBM.

York,

â&#x201A;¬.C. FA NS/

YOU'VE WRITTEN! YOU'VE E-MAILED! YOU'VE PHONED! YOU'VE THREATENED US!

you've (

mmtw

BUT WE'RE COMING OUT WITH

THESE COLLECTIONS ANYWAY!)

PROM THE

CRYPT

COLLECTING STORIES BY BILGREY, CABRAL, MR. EXES, GNIEWEK, HUDSON, KAPLAN, KLEID, LANSDALE, LOBDELL, MANNION, MARTINEZ, McGREGOR, MURASE, NOETH, PETRUCHA, ROMBERGER, SIMMONS, SMITH 3, TODD, VELILLA and VOLLMAR!

ON SALE NOW AT BOOKSTORES EVERYWHERE!

PAPERCUTfJ PROUDLY PRESENTS THE TENTH TERROR-FILLED, RECESSION-PROOF ISSUE OF THE ALL-NEW...

“MURDER

“BRAIN FOOD”

M.A.I.D."

GREG FARSHTEY WRITER

ROB VOLLMAR WRITER

MR. EXES

TIM SMITH 3

ARTIST

MARK LERER

LETTERER

GHOULUNATICS SEQUENCES LAURIE E. SMITH COLORIST

JIM SALICRUP

WRITER RICK

PARKER

ARTIST/TITLE LETTERER/COLOR

TERRY NANTIER

JIM

MARK LERER

SALICRUP

LETTERER

STEVEN MANNION COVER ARTIST CHRIS NELSON & SHELLY

DUTCHAK

PRODUCTION MICHAEL PETRANEK EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Caricatures by Rick Parker.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT, Vo!. 2. No. Copyright ® 2009 William M. Gaines, Nothing may be reprinted, reproduced, Any

similarity to real

people and places

10,

January 2009. Published bimonthly by Papercutz,

Agent,

Inc.

The EC logo

fiction

and semi-fiction

Return postage must accompany submissions. Terry Nantier,

Exchange Pface,

Sle. 1308, ,New York.

NY >005.

a registered trademark of William M. Gaines, Agent, Inc. used with perr

or posted on the Internet or

chat groups

whole or port without written permission from the

is purely coincidental. Publisher

CEO and

Publisher; Jim Salicrup,

Tony Shenton, Soles Manager; Martho Samuel, Traffic Manager. Printed

assumes no

VP and

Conodo. www.papercutz.com

responsibility for unsolicited

Editor-in-Chlef: Martin Satryb.

ss.-on. i-.tr.

nc’f Os. C=rector;

7}0737Jm-i

THIS ISSUE:

AN AU-NCIV STORY BY

FEATURING

GREG FRRSHTEV BIONIC! E

THE CRYPT-KEEPER

THE VAULT-KEEPER

71896 45306

COMICS AUTHOR!

JUST LIKE NO ONE LISTENS

TO THOMAS DONALLEY A STORY CALL... I

AND

FINAL i

THAT

MOMENT,

pememsep.

Hi'

THAT LOOIC OP UPSENT REAP ONLY

HALF-CONCEALED ey THE PATIENT'S AWAPENESS OF THE SULF THAT SEPAPATES US.

HE PUNS HIS

TONSUE

NEPVOUSLy

ACPOSS

HIS

Dpy LIPS THPEE

Si*

TIMES...

...eEFOPE FINALLy

UTTEPINS THE WOPDS THAT

CHANSE My FOPEVEP.

LIFE

::::

Â£ Q

I THINK THAT THEPE IS A SPAIN-EATINS MONSTEP LOOSE ON THIS L

WAPD.

;/S

ill \

HIS

CHAPT TELLS

MT^TmonstepN [ { you

ME EVEPYTHINS I THINK I NEED TO

say.,..

HM/A/A.

KNOW.

•

I-

]

>r-

4* 5 V1

1*7'

'TV^Ol

ft |

HE PIDSETS WHEN

LOOK AT

DON ALLEY —IS IT? ..

MP... v.

HIM DIPECTLY.

THAT'S PPOBASLY THE THOPAZINE.

you so ey THOMAS?

MOTHER-DEAD NOW TWO yEARS OP CARDIAC

THE

PAILU(?6

UNDER MySTERIOUS

CIRCUMSTANCES.

r My mom

THE CATAtyST POP THE PATIENT'S FIRST REFERRAL

USED TO CALL

ME TOMMy S.

ONLy

THIS

but...

TO THIS

ONE BLAMES

FACILITy

AS A

CLASSIC SELF-MUTILATOR.

HIS

BREAKTHROUGH

EPISODE ON A SUPERNATURALLy CURSED *PULLy POSEABLE, MICRO-ARTICULATED ACTION FIGURE." WHATEVER THAT MEANS.

SO....

THOMAS-

HOW APE .

A LITTLE NEPVOU5, I 5UE55.

you peelins TODAY?

\,,,

(

s/]

\\i

NEPVOU5?

AND WHY

K [a

DO YOU

i 1 1I VI

THINK

THAT 15?

pposably because OF THE BPAIN-EATINS

MONSTEP THAT 15 LOOSE IN THE WAPD...

^ YOU DON'T IT'5 MAY8E

THINK

THE THOPA2INE?

NO, I'M PPETTY 5UPE IT'5 THE 6PAINEATIN5 MON5TEP, ACTUALLY.

HOW COMFOPTING IT

MUST 86 TO AWAY ALL

EXPLAIN

LIFE'S ILLS 8Y THE EXISTENCE OF A 8PAIN-6ATING MONSTEP.

CAN'T HOLD A 8PAIN-6ATING

008?

MONSTEP. GLOBAL WAPMING? TPY A

1 1

8PAIN-EATING

MONSTEP

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WOPPY A80UT,

THOMAS.

LIE

SACK AND

TPy TO P6LAX.

ON ^ WGOODHAVEAUTHOPITY I

INSTEAD.

'then i'll let the^ NUPSES KNOW THAT you APE DUE FOP YOUP MEDS. t

THAT THEPE APE NO SPAIN-EATING MON-

STEPS LOOSE THIS FACILITY.^ IN

THANKS.

PUT THE EVENT

IN MY MENTAL COLUMN OF

VICTOPIES.

ANOTH6P PATIENT 8POUGHT BACK FPOM THE EDGE OF psychosis sy my wopds OF COMFOPT AND SOLACE. AT LEAST 1 THINK HE IS UNTIL...

WELL, I DIDN'T LOOK BE-

w WHAT DO^ YOU MEAN HIS SPAIN IS .

3UT,

SONE?'

WOW,^

HE IS TOTALLy 6PAINLESS NOW s.

FOP SUPE.

ONCE INSANE, NOW HE'S SOT NO SPAIN/ /

6UHWHA-

FOPE TO MAKE SUPE HE HAD ONE 6UT HE WAS BPEATHINS AND STUFF, SO, you KNOW, X A OUST ASSUMED.

r DON'T WOPPy,

DOC. WE'LL SET HIM

DOWN TO

THE SLAB

FOP YA!

BUT

WHAT COULD HAVE--? k COULD

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;HOW ? a

WHAT DID X

TELL yOU,

DOC?

IN LISHT OP WHAT CAMP APTPP, I CAN SEP HOW MY PPSPONSP TO THE PATENT'S WAPNINSS COULD BP CONSTPUPP AS... DISPPOPOPTIONATE.

PEPHAPS,

THP SPAINPATINS MONSTPP ^STPIKPS ASAIN'

^GENTLEMEN, WAY,^ THIS

AND POUSHLY, IP YOU LIKE....

HOT DOS'

THAT'S GOOD,

OW/ THAT sucked.'

THOMAS.

DON'T BP APPAID TO VOCALIZP YOUP MOST VIOLPNT IMPULSPS.

WHAT VIOLENT IMPULSPS? "

OUST

ekY DON'T WANT MY

SPAIN TO SET EATEN.'

TUT, TUT,

THOMAS.

we BOTH KNOW THAT THEPE'S NO SUCH THINS AS A SPAINEATINS MONSTEP.

XeAH,

THAT '5

WHAT USBO TO I

^THINK, TOO.

> v

V HOPPOP5 JUST YOU TO SUP UP AND

WAITING FOP

&Wan dX IP WHAT DO

lyou ||^

THINK L now ? Jm.

THEN.,.

AND

jk4

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IHTThepe's {

STUFF OUT

Â«g

||jj|K x

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you eecoMe A 8PAIN-EATINS .

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I'M NOT THE BPAIN-EATINS

MONSTEP.

r APE you > WPITINS ANY

Wmni

ANTI-PSYCHOTICS AT once...

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r NO,^

DOC'

.WAIT' s-

mP h tJ'i

WAIT,

FEELINS f I'M SUDDENLY ^SETTEP 1

IF THE MUPOEPS DON'T END THEPE, THUS PPOVINS THAT THOMAS ISN'T THE SO-CALLED

BUT WHAT

'BPAIN-EATEP"?

becomes

APPARENT ALMOST IMMEDIATELy THAT THE K£y TO PISHTINS THIS

DELUSION

SUBJECT

TO TO

IS IT

THE SCIENTIFIC PROCESS.

THERE WILL BE

NO MOPE OF

THIS UNSCIENTIFIC BRAIN-

EATER CLAPTRAP.

f IS

THIS,^^|| SENTLEMEN, ^ THE NEW FACE OF ENCEPHALOPHASIA.'

Wr r

you ARE, OP COURSE, WELL AWARE ^ OF THE CURIOUS STRINS OF

”

CAN'T

BRAIN EXTRACTIONS THAT

EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THE OLD

HAVE OCCURRED ON

fes*.

ONE LOOKED

WATCH OF

OUR^

LATE.

LIKE...

|| If.-f

1 ¥4

-3

’HI

jbLEi NOW

THAT HE 8PINSS IT

WELL,

SUESS^^

SIX IN

ENCEPHALOPHASIA?

A WEEK

DOES CONSTITUTE SOME KIND OF

^ .

"•

YOU KNOW THAT THERE WAS AN OLD FACE OF

DID

UP...

PATTERN.

—

SENTLEMEN/

”

THIS IS

TIME

POP

PERFECTION

ETHICAL

CAUTION/

WHAT THIS

MOMENT CALLS ,FOP

ACTION/

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r 1

—

U4?a\ y

\M£

lft_

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^ M1

ENCEPHALOPHASES PPOM ALL OVEP THE WOPLD/ AND WHO WILL WE HAVE \ / V 'O '-'.AL’,

k .

so,

you*

pemembep

WHO

AM,

THOMAS?.

THOMAS?

I'M

SOPPy I ATE youp LEMON DPOPS.

yEAH.

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MAKE ME 5EEM LIKE KIND OF A V

DECK, HUH? V

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TALK ABOUT yOUP

ENCEPHALOPHASIC v

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NO, THOMAS,

BNC£PHALO.

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BPAIN-EATINS,

THOMAS.

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I DIDN'T

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yOU THAT L

MEANS

v BPAIN-EATINS.

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WEPE EXPEPIENCINS A COMPLETE PSy-

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BE PONE.'

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POCTOP

ANPEPS.'.' COME QUICK'.'

SOME

PATIENTS

LOST ANO SOME WILL WILL BE

BE SAVED. THAT'S THE CUPPENCy

OE EAILUPE WHEN you APE A DOCTOP.

BUT WHAT MEANING APE WE TO TAKE...

I D-DON'T UNDEPSTAND.

.WHEN IT IS THE DOCTOPS

WHO APE LOST?

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^ ^ NOT A 8PAIN~

BEPOPE, TO PIECE TOSETHEP ^BETWEEN THEM^ DOC.

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PEDUCED TO WHAT?

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COPS AND THÂ£y APE ON ITHEIP WAy. 8ETTEP THAT i

you OUST SO

OOWN

LIE

UNTIL THEY SET HEPE.

THEN

POP ONE MOMENT,

PEALIZE. I

CONSIDEP ^OLLOWINS HIS ADVICE.

SHOULD

LIE

MAYSE DOWN.

THAT'S OUST WHAT IT WANTS ME TO DO. THINK

PATIONALLY.

LAy DOWN. CLOSE My £y£S AND

HAVEN'T I SEEN UNDEP A LOT OP STPESS

WAIT.

LATELy? I CAN'T PEMEM6EP.

AND SO, INSTEAD, I DO SOMETHING ELSE. SOMETHING CPAZy.

Pthomas?^ IT'S

ME.

DOCTOP

ANDEPS. WAKE

HUH?

MOVE QUICKLY: WE HAVEN'T MUCH

TIME'

'pon't you

IS THE

METEP PUNNING ON THE ELECT POSHOCK

MACHINE ASAIN? S

WAS?

YES,

UNDEPSTAND, .

THOMAS?

r you wepe * pisht/ you WEPE PISHT ALL V. ALONS' >

A CYNICAL APHOPISM 8UT ONE, IN THIS CASE, I HOPE WILL ENSUPE THAT I LIVE TO NEVEP SPEAK OF THESE HOPPOPS ASAIN. IT'S

NOW SET YOUP SLIPPEPS ON.

ow/

WAS

THAT

ATTACHED?

AND you JUST SO HAPPEN TO FIND YOUPSELVES CONFPONTED ey a spizzly beap...

IF EVEP you FIND YOUPSELP IN THE WILDEPNESS WITH A FPIEND.

WHEPE'PE

WE SOIN'P OUST Tpy

OUST A FEW

r TO FOCUS ON

MOPE YAPDS,

STAYINS AWAKE. I'M T AKINS yOU OUT OF THIS FACILITY

AUTHOPITY.

OUST PEMEM8EP.

^ .

THE

THOMAS.

ON MY

EMEPSENCY LOCKS HAVE ENSASED/. WHICH

kby?

THE FOOTPACE ISN'T

BETWEEN

YOU AND THE 8EAP...

IT'S

YOUQ

FPIEN

YOU'ee PACING DOWN...

â&#x20AC;&#x2122;MMMMMUNNN6H'

AND IN THAT FINAL MOMENT, I PEMEM6EP.

>NNN6H<

y-you ^ KILLED

HIM.'

ST Ay

AWAy FPOM

veuaovs

ME.' I'M

5UPEP

kPELISIOUS.' >

/H/M/H/W/W.

*HATE TO BE A SNOB

ABOUT

IT*

BUT

m SOMB-

MNP AT THIS POINT,

THING OF A CONNOISSEUR*

YOU PONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T EVEN

RATE AS AN AFTER -PINNER / L

WOW. s,

/MINT*

^ IT's LIKE ^ I'M TOO STUPID V TO v DIE.

WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO ABOUT THE DISGUSTING DETRITUS

'W YOU LEFT HERE? YOU

THANKS TO CAN KISS MY I

GOOD CRYPT-KEEPING SEAL OF APPROVAL

ARE YOU NUTS, C-K?!

GOOD-BYE!

DON

KNOW EXACTLY T BRING HER BACK! WHAT YOU NEED TO CLEAN UP YOUR I

CRYPT! LET ME TELL YOU ALL jrABOUT HER IN j

THIS CHILLING TALE CALL... I

meet the exMP5. EMEPSON (Sale, net? visit

TO HEP FOPMEP HUSBAND'S

HOUSE

NOT

A SOCIAL- ONE.

~WÂ£LL, ,

IT'S

ABOUT TIME, EMEPSON/

DP. SALE IS NOT PECE IVINS VISITOPS. PLEASE COME BACK TOMOPPOW. THANK

you.

pteAse wipe youp peeT. PteAse wipe

youp

peer.

eMePSON, you owe Me sio,ooo IN ALIMONy, ANP I WANT IT NOW/

~ i

OH, sap ah... as loud as evep, i HAPouy think

see.

i Neeo to PAy you POP thb ppiviLese OP HAVINS you CH6AT

Fa.

^ r

Me.

HA' IP OAKt i hapn't eeeN

anp

so â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;eusy* upstaips we shook youp TesT Tuees you Nevep woulp havb eveN known. ^

yes, weu., you cePTAiNty uePT a eeniNP. it .

took

two Mess

m.a.i.p

a puu, PAy TO CLEAN UP.

M.A.I .0? DON'T TELL ME.

ANOTHEP ONE OF YOUP STUPIO INVENTIONS?

M.A.I.O.

CUTE. COULDN'T FIND A PEAL

MULTIFUNCTIONAL

AUTOMATED IMMACULATE DISPOSAL UNIT. HOW MAY I ASSIST you?

WOMAN TO CLEAN YOUP HOUSE FOP V

you, HUH?

^^^IDON'T^^M HAVE TIME TO r DEAL WITH PEOPLEâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;

TO ANSWEP

THEIP

TIONS, LISTEN

QUESTHEIP

COMPLAINTS, OP PICK UP THEIP

MESSES. THIS

M.A.I.D DOES A ^ NEW THAT POP

^ALL

you SEE? EVEPYTHINS A L

MODEPN MAINTENANCE PO0OT NEEDS, ALL IN A one unit^^B

(

kvhat APe

you HAVE MADE A M6SS ACTIVATES CLEANSING ANO DISPOSAL PPOSPA

you OOlNS 3 ” STOP FOLLOWING Mg, you piece i

r THIS ISN'T

^ ^^OP

ovee/ you 'u. be HEAPINS FPOM My Sv

LAwyee.'

you HAVE MAOe A MESS. MPS SALE Messes must

PPOSPAM ACTIVATED

commano

eeceiveo assist suest to OEPAPT

OUM.'

ee oisposeo l

OF.

-V;

THE SAP6ASE

DISPOSAL WAS r

JAMMED, DOCTOR.

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I TEXT

k FIVE

MINUTES A&O.

ASAIN? THOUGHT X. YOU FIXED THAT TWO DAYS > ASO, RIGHT AFTER MY SHIPMENT I

' .

OF CAPACITORS COT

MESSAGED YOU

DELIVERED, WELL, ANYWAY, I NEED >

OH,

WHAT

YOU

NOW? SO SEE WHO'S AT THE k

WHERE IS SHE 3 WHERE'S SARAH? KNOW SHE WAS

I .

COMINS HERE/

DOOR. J

TOâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;

OP.

SALE

NOT

peceivins visitors.

PLCASEâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;

^WHAT'S whepe

is he? HE DONE

WITH SAPAH? SHE NEVEP CAME HOME AND HEP CAP IS ^STILL OUTSIOE

SALE.' IT'S OAKE.' I'M COMINS

FOP YOU, OLD MAN.'

PLEASE WIPE yOUP FEET. PLEASE WIPE

youp

...

you HAVE MAOE A MESS.

THAT'S A, UM, GPEAT CO STUMEGOING TO A PAPTy? I WENT AS A FISH ONC6--HAO A HOOK HANGING OUT OF My MOUTH

AND EVEPyTHING.

HEH.

PIGHT. LET

ME OUST TAKE A LOOK HEPE. WHOA'

THE DISPOSAL IS NOT OPEPATING.

THAT DOESN'T k.

SOUND 6000

VAAAHHH â&#x20AC;&#x2122;ir

SOMETHING'S

PEAU-y

SASy

JAMMED

THIS

UP...UNNNH...IT'S

PEALLy IN THEPE... Ih^WAIT, GOT IT...

—

THAT'S

you've— god WHAT Ace you? ^

THAT

TH6

secoNo Mess you HAve MAoe siNce you Acciveo. J

WHAT?

you'ee ccazy' S6T AWAY PPOM

Me/

MeSS CANNOT 66 T0L6PAT60.

yes, yes, fine,

yes, eveeyTHiws seeMS to ee intact, but let me pun A FULL CHECK.

...

THAT? IT LOOKS 6LOOO.

what LIKE

r I AM IN WOPKINS opdep, messes will ee ELIMINATED OISPUPTION

FPOM NEISHBOPS

WILL

ee ENDED.

r ...WHy

THEPE

BLOOD ON youp SAW TOOL?

HAVE BEEN CAPPyiNS OUT My 1

PPOSPAMMINS.

you wet?e PPOSPAMMEO TO \ ANSWEP THE DOOP AND THE PHONE TO SET THE MAIL TO CLEAN UP ANy ^MESSES IN THE HOUSE / r

Bfc.

THAT'S ALL.

...

coppect i was PPOSPAMMEO TO IN THE MOST

OPEPATE

EEP'CIENT

MANNEP

possible. \ '

THE

MOST

EPPlCIENT 3 EXPLAIN

WHAT HAVE yOU

DONE?

CLEANING UP A MESS IS A TEMPOPAPy SOLUTION. IT IS PAP

MOPE

EPPICIENT

TO ELIMINATE THE CAUSE OP THE MESS.

WAIT A MINUTE, yESTEPPAy, you said SOMETHINS...WHEN SAPAH THPEW THE BEAXEP .yOU SAID SHE HAD MADE

A MESS.

COPPECT THAT HAS BEEN DEALT WITH THEPE WILL BE NO PUTUPE OISOPOEP

OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF MY BLACK HEART, I’D BE .

TICKLED PINK TO TIDY-UP YOUR CRYPTIC-CRIB! .

>GASP!< >CHOKE!< SHE’S ALMOST AS

SCARY AS WHAT WE HAVE PLANNED FOR THE NEXT FRIGHTENING ISSUE OF TALES FROM THE CRYPT!

DO YOU DO VAULTS?

This comicbook

FEATURING

THE CRYPT-KEEPER

THE OLD WITCH

THE VAULT-KEEPER

896 45306

rot

your brain!

will

HEE, HEE! BACK AGAIN, EH? BET YOU’RE WONDERING WHAT THE OLD WITCH

^ IS

DOING HERE? YOU WERE EXPECTING THE DECREPIT CRYPT-KEEPER AND HIS PARTNER-IN-SLIME THE J ** VAULT KEEPER, RIGHT?

THE SHOCKING TRUTH IS THAT THEY’RE BOTH HERE-VICTIMS OF CRYPT-FEVER!

THEY’VE TOTALLY FREAKED OUT! TOO MUCH TIME SPENT IN THE CRYPT OF TERROR WATCHING YOU TOOMB! WORST CASE EVER SAW! THEY EVEN HALLUCINATED SEEING ME j Ik. DRESSED IN A FRENCH MAID’S I

IMh.

UNIFORM!*

NOT TO WORRY— I’M

BREWING UP A

CURE RIGHT NOW! “HAVE CAULDRON-WILL TRAVEL!’’ THAT’S MY MOTTO! v*

WHILE THIS SIMMERS,

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT ANOTHER LADY WHO HAD TO TAKE CARE OF A LITTLE BOY, A REGULAR...

*YOU SAW IT TOOL AST ISSUE!

MRS. SANOteZ, TH1C \S HUMAN. SDPJty

to vwa^

YOU. UAV/E am SAKE RC?£NCy. 1

ser yarn MUM6R-Y-

V&S/9 ursow&*te DUKP6P A BABY e»4 our c^es^p.

Afjp

I»N'T

WAveA^ornc To p'eeo

Mika.

7T F77

TALK ABOUT A TALE WITH BITE!

>GASP!

CHOKEH

STRANGE! SWEAR HEAR THE OLD WITCH.. I

SHE PROMISED TO CLEAN-UP CRYPT-BUT HER WICCA-WARES ARE EVERYWHERE!

BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE’S HERE-TALKING ABOUT

THIS s

SNAKE! SNAKE! IT’S KILLING ME!

“HALLUCINATING”!

IF...!

PISLCAIMBP/ THIS IS /vor a commentary on wiccan beliefs, but a cautionary TALE OF WHAT BEFALLS THOSE WHO USE WHAT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND FOR SELFISH ENDS'

7/THEM.' PEOPLE ^ IGNORE

GROSS.

SOMEONE

..PLEASE..

HELP ME.

FASHION

SHOULD CALL THE

poucef

POLICE.'

ARE ONLY HOME- 1 LESS BECAUSE WANT TO BE.' OUST LIKE WB'QB HAPPY AND PRETTY BECAUSE THAT'S what we A

THEY

WANT.'

HOWLSWORTH'S^i

' TAKES OVER > TODAY.' I CAN'T WAIT TO ASK HIM FOR A PPIVATB

SON

SO I CAN SPEND MORE TIME SEEKING V TRUE eOMANCB ON OFFICE

THE wee.'

y :

PEALLY?

HOT, SO

I HOPE HE'S I CAN SPEND

MOPE TIME LOOKING FOP SOME FUN A WITH H\bh!^/jfj

E-E-EXCUSE ME, BUT THEPE I— I— IS MOPE TO LIFE THAN

AND F6BUNG j G-G-GOOD/ VLOOKING y

JUST WANT A SISSEP SPACE I CAN PPACTICE DANCING.'

SO .

ANYTHING EXCEPT

IVOCfc',

PIGHT, LADIES?

MY LATE F-P-PATHEP f

LOVED BYB-CANPY AND HEAVEN KNOWS I DO, TOO, BUT THEBE ABE P-P-PLENTY

I WAS PLANNING TO FIPB YOU ALL BECAUSE YOU NBVBP DO ANY WOBK/ THANKS FOB M-M-MAKINS

!g^

OF TALBNTBP AND

CAPABLB WOMEN AND MEN OUT THEBE/

OMS/ THE

SON WAS supposeo to ee a .

pushovbp/

DID

WE KILL THE OLD MAN FOB k

''THIS

OVEP

ISN'T I'VE

YET.'

SOT AN

tPBA.

FOLLOW My LÂ£APf

NOTHING?

MAyee we

BEPOBE you MAKE yOUB FINAL DECISION ABOUT US, THEBE'S SOMETHINS

yOU MISHT WANT TO

THEBE ,

didn't

WAS ONE

PCX? yout?

wobk, but

THINS

DID

FATHEB THAT MADE

^us wobthuseverything AND MORE.' PAID

—

KwiCCAN/^l abe^N

OH,

yEAH...

§£§^B|

|||^K

V WICCAN ’ LIKE you WOULDN'T .believe/.

AND WE PEBPOBMED A RITUAL THAT MADE yOUB PATHEB A REAL MAN/

THE BEASON HE COULD WBAP HE WANTED

UH.,.IT'S

ANYONE

ABOUND

HIS

PINSEB/

vepy TIGHTLY

ukb us

you to peppopm oue PITUAL POP VOW, 'o

WOULDN'T

you?

^yes/ yes/ A THOUSAND .times yes/

r >so e/<

I've

SEEN SO LONBLY' SO AFPAIPS AND My pathep nevep paid 4/W' ATTENTION ME/

Â« A

^^^TO

ALL HE

EVEP^^

SAVE ME WAS THIS LOUSy BUSINESS' M. AND I'M ABQAIO OP BUSINESSES,

TOO/

OUST TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO

DO AND .

I'LL

IT/

^ j,

"PICST, CENT A SECLUDED SHACK WHEPE NO ONE CAN FIND YOU... UH... I MEAN US' THE PITUAL PEQUIPES POWEQ SEMS, BUT A BICH SUY LIKE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO APPOPD THEM/ NEXT..."

AH,

NICE TOUCH FINDINS THESE

^ r BEADY

TO DPAW

DOWN THE

MOON,

HANO -

SOMSP

BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS eiTUALP

oh, yy-YEAH/

FOUND

SOME eosus

CEPEMONY ONLINE CALLED OQAWtNS DOWN THÂ£ MOON, BUT AS LONS AS WE'PE

OLD HALLOWEEN COSTUMES'

DANCINS APOUNO, HE'LL >< DO WHATEVEP WE

AT THE OF THE1 PITUAL, YOU'LL HAVE TO DPINK THIS AND SAY THE WOPDS I

'heisht

TAUSHT YOU/

"GGEAT SOD CEGNUNNOS, GETUPN TO EAGTH AGAIN, COME AT MY CALL AND SHOW THYSELF TO MEN,

SH£P£QO OF GOATS, UPON THE WILD HILLS WAY, LEAD THY LOST FLOCK FGOM OAGKNESS UNTO PAY/

gBBsggar

oeiNk:

and

CHUG-A-LUS/ CHUG-A-LUG/ CHUG-A-LUG/

AM THE poweQt

r THE >eui,p-eui.pk 6ULP/<

I AM H0QN60 GOD/

.•

MILLION

we CAN ST APT OUP OWN gusiNess we won't HAve TO WOPK

POP.'

WHO SUMMONS SO O?

THE HOPNE0

WHOSE WISHES X FILL TO BUCSTIN&P

SHALL

you WHO

WISH ONLY TO PANCB SHALL ENJOY THE PAW UNBPIDLED POPCE OF

as youp ^ lATuce PAPTNEP/ a

MAYBE LATEP?

^ THEPE

LATEP/ ONLY THE ETEPNAL, BLESSED

NOW'

y OU(? MIND AND BODY APE .

HEAPT.'

QBHOLO you APE PAPT OF THE

DANCE OF THE PEAL/

NOW

WPITHINS WOUNP THAT PULSES TO THE COSMIC BEAT OF HUNSEP'S

AND you WHO WANTED ONLY PHYSICAL PLEASURE, WHEPE SHALL WE . ee&iNP

^ L

yow? POPM HAS A 6ILLION NEPVE ENDINSS POP PEELINS PLEASURE, WHY NOTi L SET THEM ALL AFLAME AT A

ONCBP

HBLLLPPP.'

as lL

â&#x20AC;&#x201D;*H

;

i-i_-_ZZZ|

1 " 1

^LJ !

NOT

WITHOUT THE

U ..

AND WHAT

WAS

YOU

WANT edp.

SOOO'

r QOMANCBf

MAKES THE WOPLD

©O POUND/

NO, PEAU-V, THANKS, 6UT.

CAN ©IVE

you MOPE THAN .THE WOQLDf

"AND FINALLY, YOU'LL NEVEP HAVE TO WOPK ASAIN."

CAN YOU believe thpee joss OPENED AT THE SAME COMPANY AT THE SAME WE SOT

v TIME? AND

THEM? IT'S LIKE I

ALWAYS SAY,

LADIES, WISH

HAQO

ENOUSH AND YOU'LL

AND THE rHOMELESS APE ONLY^ THEPE BECAUSE THAT'S L WHEPE THEY WANT^

i^TO BE/^^fl

A V

Xir Ji

SET

IT/

CAN'T WAIT

TO MEET THE NEW OWNEP.'

HEAP

HE'S TOTAU-y

HOT/

MENTION THERE’S A OH, DID SIDE-EFFECT TO MY POTENT POTION? DON’T WORRY, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO WRITE YOUR CRYPT-KEEPER’S I

CORNER COLUMN BEFORE COMPLETELY KICKS IN!

'CHOKE!'

TO BE CONTINUED...?

CLASSICS ILLUSTRATED® Presents:

Featuring Stories by the World’s Greatest Authors

Other Poems By

Inc

Edgar Allan Poe

Classics.

Illustrated by

First

20(19

Gahan Wilson

1 1

Coming

April

2009 From

PAPERCUTZ Special preview on the following two pages...

0 1990

All

First Classics, Inc.

Illustrated name and logo is ÂŽ 2009 First Classics, Inc. Rights Reserved. By permission of Jack Lake Productions Inc.

The Classics

Then

— — in my childhood — in the dawn — was drawn

Of a most stormy life

From ev’ry depth of good and ill The mystery which binds me still:

From the torrent, or the fountain,

From the red cliff of the mountain, From the sun that In its

'round

me roll’d

autumn tint of gold

From the lightning in the sky

As it pass’d me flying by From the thunder and the storm, And the cloud that took the form (When the rest of Heaven was blue) Of a demon in my view.

Don’t miss CLASSICS ILLUSTRATED #4 “The Raven and Other Poems” by Edgar Allan Poe, adapted by Gahan Wilson. On sale soon.