SMART-O GOALS

by Rachel Sullivan, MFTA

Are you 50 years old or older? Do you get heartburn weekly or more? Ahh. Another new year. I do not know about anyone else, but 2019 flew by. It seemed that as soon as I gained solid footing, it was already time to start writing 2020 on everything. Despite the year passing quickly, I was able to achieve several goals I had set for myself. I prefer to set goals instead of resolutions. Neurologically the words we choose make a noticeable impact on how we respond to them. For example, when we set a New Year’s “resolution” we are making a firm decision to do or not to do something. When we fail to resolve the identified thing, mentally we file that as a fail. Conversely, when we set ourselves a “goal” we identify something as the object of our ambition or effort and determine our desired result. It creates an end point we gradually work towards rather than a pass or fail. Did you mentally register those words differently as you read them? Me too.

So, when you are setting goals, where do you start? I am sure you are familiar with the S.M.A.R.T. acronym, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Limited. I use this outline, with a small addition of my own, to establish goals for myself since it allows me to structure backwards from my desired result. In therapy I use this same concept to help clients work towards their therapeutic goals. Something important to keep in mind when setting goals, they should always be framed in the positive. This helps your brain focus on what you DO want, rather than what you DO NOT. Look at these examples: Eating less junk food and no more lethargy vs. Living a healthier lifestyle with more physical activity and smarter food choices. The first example contains words like “less” and “no more” which are negative phrases the brain picks up on, setting you behind before you begin. The second example tells the brain “more” and “smarter”, helping the brain identify positives that you are aiming for. Positive words create a shift in the brain and help us as we work towards our desired result. Let us look at some examples of how this plays out practically, using an example of “increasing positive selftalk”.

SPECIFIC: When we set a goal for ourselves the item needs to be specific enough that we know exactly how we are directing our efforts. Essentially, we need a target. When I work with clients, we take time during our first sessions to discuss goals. As we talk, we unfold what is important to them, and begin to pull out some specific items that we can use as our target. The bullseye in the middle represents the desired result, with the outer rings representing other areas of life that will benefit from us hitting that center. If we identify “increasing positive self-talk” as our goal, this becomes the specific object of our ambition.

MEASURABLE: A goal must be measurable. In other words, you need to be able to see how your ambitions are paying off. While increasing positive self-talk you should see some benefits (the other rings on the bullseye) of your efforts. Perhaps you see your efforts paying off as you feel more confident a few weeks into your new practice. Or, your attitude is more pleasant because you are being kinder to yourself. Identifying some ways to measure your efforts up front will help keep you motivated as you work hard.

ACHIEVABLE: The goal you set needs to be something you can achieve. Determining to grow 8” if you are already full grown is not achievable. Ensuring your goal is realistically achievable helps set you up for success. Our example goal, increasing positive self-talk, is entirely possible to achieve.

RELEVANT: Your chosen goal should be something relevant to you. Frequently, I see people who identify goals that someone else would like them to achieve. This is a fast - pass to failure. The goal needs to be yours, and it needs to mean something to you. When we set a goal that is relevant to our current season in life, it creates a sense of accomplishment when we obtain it. However, a goal we are working towards that is someone else’s idea will neither motivate us nor fill us with accomplishment. If it is relevant to you, increasing your positive self-talk will be something you are motivated to work towards. More than that, it will feel great when you achieve it.

TIME-LIMITED: Goals that are limited by a timeframe help keep us on track. Say we begin our positive self-talk journey March 1st and determine to increase the ways in which we speak positively to ourselves for 90 days. By the end of those 90 days we have created a new habit, formed new connections in our brain, and made a positive impact on our mental health. Additionally, when we have a finishdate we can work backwards from there to structure our measurement markers so we can see our progress. This continues to signal our brain to identify the growth, and acknowledging the growth keeps us motivated. See the cycle?

OUTSIDE HELP: Here is where my addition shows up. There is no “O” in the original SMART goal acronym. However, many goals I have set for myself included resources outside of my scope of expertise. So, taking inventory at the beginning of goal setting to identify outside help you may need boosts your chances of obtaining your desired result. The truth is none of us have all the tools and skills necessary to obtain every goal we set. Thus, acknowledging the need for, and enlisting help when necessary is smart, and practical. Perhaps for your self-talk goal you will need a book of positive confessions, or an accountability partner. A bigger goal may require professional help in the form of an academic institution, fitness facility, medical professional, or lending agent.

As you begin to think about this new year laid out before you, I want to challenge you to consider where you would like to be by December 31st. What looks different in your life? How are you relating to people in a way that is an improvement from right now? If _________ were better, what would that change? 2020 is a blank slate. You have a lot more power over the outcome than you might think. It may require some outside help. Likely it will take some SMART goal setting. Whatever the course, whatever the goal, I hope your year is as amazing as you dream it can be. Happy New Year!

Rachel Sullivan, MFTA Solid Ground Counseling Center 9694 Madison Blvd St A7 Madison, AL 35758 256-503-8586 www.solidgroundmadison.com