A BALANCED VIEW OF SHAME by insight for living ministries
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“Y
ou should be ashamed of yourself!” our weakness in the face of temptations, No doubt many of us as kids we need to rely on Someone greater than heard remarks like that from our mom ourselves to live well. Too often we experience shame over or dad. Maybe we had lied, played with matches, or been stopped for speeding in the wrong issues or in too great a degree. our mom’s car. Whatever the infraction, Paul, in Romans 1:16, drew an important we all implicitly knew (and rightly so) boundary around shame. He marked off that we should feel bad about the wrongs the things of Christ, leaving shame to the realm of the sinful and disobedient. So it we committed. But too often our understanding of made perfect sense for Paul to say that he shame dwells at the extremes. Some are was “not ashamed of the gospel” (NASB). He had no reason to be captivated by absolution Too often we ashamed of it! and excuses, finding reaAs we walk humbly sons not to be ashamed of experience shame over with Christ and grow in the sinful behaviour they the wrong issues or in Him, we will become more are responsible for. On the too great a degree. aware of our imperfecother side are those who seek to dominate others through shame, tions and more appreciative of His grace. using it as part of a harsh and controlling Therefore, we should humble ourselves punishment that lacks anything resem- before God that we might be cleansed of bling the grace and mercy God exhibits our sin and shame, allowing ourselves toward us. Neither of these extremes is to walk boldly into the world as God’s appropriate; both avoid significant truths representatives on earth, speaking truth, about God and humanity that Paul made encouraging love, and showing kindness to those we encounter, just as Paul did. clear in later chapters of Romans. Novelist and essayist George MacDonald wrote: “To be humbly ashamed is to be Taken from John Adair, “A Balanced View of plunged in the cleansing bath of truth.”1 Shame,” Lesson Three, in Insights on Romans: Appropriate shame neither cripples The Christian’s Constitution Learn Online. Copythrough domination nor remains alto- right © 2010 Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights gether absent. Shame should bring us to reserved worldwide. humility, not to humiliation. In its proper 1. George MacDonald, George MacDonald: An function, it serves to remind us that we Anthology, ed. C. S. Lewis (San Francisco: Harperare not self-sufficient, that because of Collins, 2001), 119.
