APRIL 2014
In this issue
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Encouragment Takes the Sting Out of Life charles r. swindoll
6 Surprised by Kindness robyn roste
How can I make a positive impact in others’ lives?
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11 Releasing the Hidden Heroes steve johnson 14 Q & A steve johnson
8 Encouraging Words phil callaway
Copyright Š 2014 Insight for Living Canada. All rights reserved. No portion of this monthly publication may be reproduced in any form without prior written permission from the publisher. Insights is published by IFLC, the Bible-teaching ministry of Charles R. Swindoll. IFLC is an autonomous ministry and certified member of the Canadian Council of Christian Charities. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture passages are taken from the NASB. Unless otherwise noted, photography and illustration by IFLC staff. Printed in Canada.
ENCOURAGEMENT Takes the Sting Out of Life by charles r. swindoll
All of us need encouragement. We need somebody to believe in us. To reassure and reinforce us. To help us pick up the pieces and go on. To fuel our flame of determination as we face the odds against us. I don’t care how influential, secure, or mature a person may appear to be, an expression of encouragement never fails to help. All of us need it. Those of us who slug it out in the trenches of leadership need massive doses of it. Regrettably, most are too proud to admit it. This pride is as prevalent among members of God’s family as it is on the streets of the world. There is more to encouragement than a quick pat on the back. It is a deliberate, strong commitment to lifting up another’s spirit. The New Testament reminds us of its value:
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Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near. (Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT) Let’s take a close look at the word itself. Encouragement, as used in Hebrews 10:25, is from the same Greek root used for the Holy Spirit in John 14:26 and 16:7. In both those verses He is called “the Helper.” The actual term, parakaleo, is from a combination of two smaller words, kaleo, “to call,” and para, “alongside.” Just as the Holy Spirit is called alongside to help us, so it is with us when you and I encourage someone else. In fact, when we encourage others, we come as close to the work of the Holy Spirit as anything we can do in God’s family.
Believe me, when Christians begin to realize the value of mutual encouragement, there is no limit to what we can stimulate others to accomplish. It is thrilling to realize that God has “called us alongside to help” others who are in need. How much better to be engaged in actions that lift others up rather than actions that tear them down! The beautiful part about encouragement is this: anybody can do it. You don’t need money to carry it out. You don’t even need to be a certain age. Frankly, some of the most encouraging actions or words I’ve received have come from my own children at a time when my heart was heavy. They saw the need and moved right in…they “came alongside and helped.” I am absolutely convinced that there are thousands of people who are drying up on the vine simply because of the lack of encouragement. Lonely, forgotten missionaries, military service men and women far away from home, collegians and seminarians, the sick and the dying, the divorced and the grieving, those who serve faithfully behind the scenes with scarcely a glance or comment from anyone. Going back to the statement found in Hebrews 10:24, we are to “think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” In other words, we are to give thought to specific ways we can lift up, affirm, and help others. God’s commands are not theoretical—especially those that relate to people in need. Maybe a few ideas will help spark an interest in putting our encouragement into action: • Observe and mention admirable character qualities you see in others, such as punctuality, diligence, a good attitude,
Encouragement Takes the Sting Out of Live continued from p. 3
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thoroughness, efficiency, or a good sense of humour. • Correspondence, thank-you notes, small gifts with a handwritten note attached. • Express appreciation for someone’s extra effort. • Notice a job well done and say so. • Cultivate a positive, reassuring attitude. Encouragement cannot thrive in a negative atmosphere. • Pick up the tab in a restaurant. • Be supportive of someone you know who is really hurting. Encouragement should take the sting out of life. But be careful not to create other burdens for those you want to encourage. Do what you do with no expectation of being noticed or paid back. Reciprocal expectations are guilt-giving, not encouraging actions! Also, be sensitive to the timing of your actions; a welltimed expression of encouragement is seldom forgotten. I often think of those who did their job faithfully over an extended period of time and finally were replaced—only to be forgotten. People like former teachers and coaches, former officers in a church,
former board members, former pastors, and those mentors who modelled the Christian life only to become lost in the sea of distant memories. Spend some time recalling the important people who had a part in your life…then look for ways to encourage them. You would be surprised to know how much it means to them to know you didn’t forget them. Let me end where encouragement begins. The desire to encourage is developed first in one’s home. It is here that this vital virtue is cultivated. Children pick it up from their parents, as they become the recipients of their parents’ words of delight, affirmation, and approval. Numerous surveys document the sad fact, however, that homes tend to be far more negative than positive, much less affirming than critical. I challenge you to make your family different. Start taking whatever steps that are necessary to cultivate a spirit of positive, reinforcing, consistent encouragement in your home. Your family will be forever grateful, believe me. And you will become a much happier person in the process. Charles R. Swindoll serves as the senior pastor-teacher of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas.
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Surprised by
KINDNESS by robyn roste
was in my third year of university and I was assigned to write an article where I interviewed real people. All I had to do was choose a theme and find sources to interview about it. Simple right? Write about anything and interview whomever you want. Not so simple. I had no idea what to write about. And worse still, my professor dismissed all my ideas so I started from scratch each and every class. For weeks this continued until I was instructed to “Just pick something from your list and go with it.” So I did. I chose Acts of Kindness. Beside the topic my professor had written “Not strong.” But what else could I do? I had no more ideas and no more time. Although I hadn’t seen the movie Pay it Forward I don’t doubt the concept sparked my interest in the topic. And as I dug into the topic I discovered acts of kindness can change a person’s life. I spoke with people who had experienced kindness when they
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needed it most, and people who had built their lives on the concept of showing kindness to others. Their stories were inspirational, and I also noticed the people who had received the acts of kindness seemed surprised they had been treated so well. Acts of kindness are fascinating. They don’t make any sense, which makes them all the more interesting. Why this person, why this action, why this moment? For me part of the attraction is because the person benefitting from the act probably didn’t deserve it. He or she was the 100th customer, the first person to say a random keyword, or was just in the right place at the right time. And the outcome? Much of the time the person is surprised, delighted, and overwhelmed. And the kind person? That person must feel pretty good to have made a total stranger’s day. Chuck Swindoll tells a moving story about an act of kindness in his sermon Loving What’s Kind. A cab driver picks up a woman who moved slowly and asked
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him to take the long way around to her destination. The driver took the time to ask her why. She explained she had no family and was headed to a hospice. She wasn’t expected to live much longer. In the moment the driver decided to spend the day with this woman, and not charge her a fare. I love this story because it reminds me I don’t know the whole story. It’s so easy to make assumptions and judgments about others’ motives and actions when I have no right to. What if instead of assuming the worst I choose to be kind? What if I decide to be the person who makes a total stranger’s day? Since hearing this story I’ve wondered what if I was the person to pick up this woman. Would I have bothered to look beneath the surface? Why is it so hard to remember to be kind? Here are some reasons Chuck says we aren’t kind. • Kindness takes extra time and we’re all in a hurry
• Kindness makes us put ourselves in someone else’s place and we’re all selfish (it doesn’t come naturally or easily) • Kindness calls for compassion and we are by nature preoccupied and intense • Kindness occasionally includes forgiveness but it’s so much easier to hold a grudge If I’m honest the reason I am not kind is because I’m wrapped up in myself. Most of the time I’m so focused on how I feel and how other people impact me I don’t even notice the opportunities to be kind presenting themselves every day. Kindness is a quality God wants everyone to exhibit (Micah 6:8; Matthew 7:12). And there are more benefits than the good feeling of making someone’s day. Matthew 25:31-40 reminds me every time I am kind to someone who is overlooked or ignored I am also being kind to God. If that’s not motivation, I don’t know what is. Robyn Roste is the Living Bridge Media manager at Insight for Living Canada.
by phil callaway
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Moms are wise aren’t they?
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little girl asked her mother, “Where did people come from?” Her mom replied, “Well, God made Adam and Eve and they had kids.” The girl asked her father the same question. He answered, “Monkeys. We all evolved from monkeys.” A little confused, she returned to her mother and said, “You told me the human race was created by God. Dad said they developed from monkeys.” The mother smiled. “Well, it’s very simple,” she said. “I told you about my side of the family, your father told you about his.” Moms are filled with wisdom. A mom once told her daughter, “Cook a man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.” My own mother got pretty stressed out sometimes. That’s when you just never knew what she’d do. She’d mix up the cookies in the little mixer and then she’d let me lick the beaters. Now that I think about it, I wish she would have turned the mixer off first. Seriously, she was a great mom. If I had to pick out the singular greatest gift she gave me, outside of introducing me to Christ, I would say the gift of encouragement. When teachers and coaches and siblings and friends gave up on me, Mom stepped up and said things like, “You’ll do fine. You just watch.”
I heard about a guy who opened the door to get the newspaper one morning and saw a strange little dog with the newspaper in his mouth. The guy laughed and fed the dog some treats. The next morning the same dog was sitting there, wagging his tail, surrounded by eight newspapers. Encouragement may not be the best of ideas with dogs, but we humans thrive on it. Our words mean so much. A study of male prison inmates asked how many had heard the words, “You’re gonna end up in jail one day.” The vast majority indicated they had. Mom may have wondered if I would end up in jail, but she chose to use her words to build me up. Today I earn a living making others laugh. I thank God and I thank my mom. Not all of us are thankful for our mothers. My wife was at the swimming pool a few days ago and a lady in the change room was singing a beautiful worship song. Ramona came around the corner and said, “Sing it sister!” The lady said, “I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed. I didn’t know anyone was here.” Ramona told her, “You sing beautifully. You should sing more often.” The lady seemed unusually surprised. “My mother sometimes told me not to sing,” she said. “She didn’t like my voice.” “I like it,” said Ramona. “And I’ve got good taste in music.” Words are like salt. They can add flavour, melt ice, and preserve life when
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sprinkled right, or bring sickness when misused. Words can bring joy or great sorrow. I asked some friends a simple question, “What is the nicest thing someone has ever said to you?” Here are a few responses. • From Ed: “‘You look a lot like Clark Gable.’ I was flattered, until I considered the fact that Clark had been dead 25 years!”
“Mom may have wondered if I would end up in jail, but she chose to use her words to build me up.” • Some were short and sweet: “You’re funny,” “I forgive you,” “I’m proud of you.” And the simple word “Yes.” • Charlotte said, “‘You are so beautiful, to me,’ sung by my sweetheart of 45 years.” • Shawna wrote: “It had been a bad day. My husband was working out of town
for a month. I was travelling with two small active children. My eyeglasses had snapped in half and I was blind to things that weren’t close. I quietly read the kids story after story as people slept on the bus around us. Suddenly my three-year-old informed me that he had to go to the bathroom. I knew the bathroom was occupied, so while my son bounced up and down, I sang a song to soothe him. When we finally reached our destination, I was dishevelled and knew that everyone was staring at my children and me. A kind older lady said, ‘You are such a wonderful mother.’ It’s been many years, but I’ve never forgotten how much those words encouraged me. Now I like to encourage other moms who may be having a particularly bad day, too.” Proverbs 12:18 is so true. “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.” May each of us bring healing to others with our words. Phil Callaway is the host of the radio broadcast Laugh Again.
ON THE AIR IN MAY
Strengthening Your Grip ESSENTIALS IN AN AIMLESS WORLD Anything goes!
This attitude characterizes life in today’s culture. Though we never run out of things to keep us busy, we have allowed life’s essentials to slip right through our fingers. Strengthening Your Grip aims to help us find biblical direction on issues we face every day.
UPCOMING MESSAGES INCLUDE:
Strengthening Your Grip on Discipleship Strengthening Your Grip on Prayer Strengthening Your Grip on Leisure Strengthening Your Grip on Godliness
by steve johnson
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here’s a story of a man who saw Michelangelo chipping away with a chisel at a piece of shapeless rock. The man asked the sculptor what he was doing. “I am releasing the angel that is imprisoned in this marble,” Michelangelo answered. This great sculptor saw past the surface to something greater than just a mass of rock. He knew he had the power to liberate it. While you and I may not have the sculpting skills of Michelangelo we are able to use something even more powerful, our words. Words are powerful. They can wound or heal, tear down or build up, crush or inspire. We appreciate and value people with words of affirmation. We devalue and depreciate a person with words of criticism or fault-finding. Words impact our souls and the kind of people we become. A good example comes from Jesus. Andrew brought his brother Simon Peter to Him and John 1:42 says “Jesus looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas’ (which, when translated, is Peter)” (NIV). The name Simon, or Simeon, was the name of Jacob’s second-oldest son (Genesis 29:33). He and his brother Levi had ruthlessly avenged the violation of their sister (Genesis 34:25-31). This is who Simon Peter was named after. The name John means dove-like, suggesting the idea of weakness. When Jesus looked at Simon Peter He didn’t just look at him. The original Aramaic word translated to “looked” means Releasing the Hidden Heroes continued from p. 11
Jesus used a concentrated, intent gaze. It’s the kind of gaze, which not only sees the surface but the heart. In the context of this Jesus says, “You are Simon, son of John.” Jesus diagnosed Peter’s character and personality. Simon mirrored the rash and impulsive character of Simeon. His conduct throughout the Gospels reflects the same recklessness and tendency to violence, making him weak, inconsistent, and unreliable.
“No one needs our criticism and negativity. What people need is acceptance and grace.”
From this story I see two take aways from the way Jesus dealt with Simon. First, Jesus didn’t say anything negative about Simon. He could have said something embarrassing or humiliating about his names and character but didn’t. He accepted him as he was. The same needs to be true for the way we deal with others. We’re all aware of our character flaws. No one needs us to point out failure. No one needs our criticism and negativity. What people need is acceptance and grace.
sculptor
© shuterstock.com /Cleomiu
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The second thing Jesus did was He spoke with positive affirmation. He said, “You will be called Cephas.” Nearly everyone in those days had two names: a Greek name (the world’s universal language) and a name in his or her own language. Both Cephas and Peter mean “a rock.” Jesus saw someone who He could build His church on. Simon would become Jesus’ “rock-man,” a solid, strong, reliable, and consistent hero of the Early Church. In seeing him this way Jesus saw Simon the way God did. This is the same for us—God sees us not only as we are but who we are in Christ, and who we can be if we allow ourselves to follow and be transformed by Him. If we are to follow this example we need to see and treat others with appreciative affirmation, appreciating and affirming the positive things in their lives as well as in their spiritual potential and character in Christ.
Barnabas, whose name means son of encouragement, took Mark under his wing when Paul refused to take him on their second missionary journey after he dropped out of their first missionary journey. In Barnabas’ mind, Mark’s failure wasn’t final. Years later, Paul opinion changed. In 2 Timothy 4:11 Paul reveals his new perspective. “Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministering.” What changed? I think Mark changed in part because Barnabas believed in him and, following the rejection by Paul, continually affirmed him. Like Simon who became Peter, Mark became a help and hero to Paul. Our words of appreciative affirmation can have the power to release the hidden heroes in those around us. Steve Johnson is the executive director at Insight for Living Canada.
by steve johnson
How can I make a positive impact in others’ lives? One way is by being encouraging and affirming. When we see the value and potential in others and then convey to them what we see, we are making a positive impact. When we aim our affirmation towards a specific area in others’ lives it can help them reach their potential in life and in Christ. Here are eight ways we can learn to affirm others.
and motivate. If we have experienced these kinds of words in our lives and remember their powerful and positive impact it can motivate us to do the same for others. Ephesians 4:29 says “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV). We need to determine to be this kind of person by the power of the Holy Spirit.
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Realize every person has value as someone created in the image of God and as one for whom Christ died. The world is a hurtful place where people are devalued and put down every day. Many are bound by the scars of past hurt and don’t feel free to be all they could be in life and in Christ. We can help set them free by recognizing their value.
Commit to encourage and affirm others. This comes through understanding the power of words to value and affirm others as well as to free, inspire,
Recognize we must continually seek to have our own inner needs met in Christ and His love for us. Only when our inner needs are met can we overcome the fear of reaching out. Our desire to be appreciated and affirmed can keep us from appreciating and affirming others. Reflect on people’s positive attributes and actions to identify the good things you value about them. Although we are all sinners, God’s grace is still manifest in positive attributes and
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actions in every person. It’s easy to focus on the negative aspects of a person’s character. We need God’s help to focus on areas where His grace is shown in others.
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Decide on the best way to express affirmation—words, actions, or both. Although I am focusing mainly on words here, actions can also show affirmation. A good example of this is found in 2 Timothy 1:15-17. The acceptance, commitment, and loyalty Onesiphorus showed to Paul in prison is a good example of affirmation through actions. Actions, like giving thoughtful gifts and spending quality time with people, also show people you value them.
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Speak from your heart to their heart. When offering affirmation through words it’s important to remember these words must be kind ones. That said kindness has more to do with the manner in which we speak than our word choice. Sometimes our words say one thing but our tone of voice says another. We tend to interpret messages based on our tone of voice, not the words used.
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Avoid flattery and false praise. Flattery is insincere praise motivated by the hope of gaining something from the person being flattered. False praise is aimed at something a person can’t control like intelligence or natural talent. Genuine affirmation focuses on positive attributes and actions such as determination exhibited, discipline exercised, and development of character.
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Be patient. Encouragement and affirmation don't necessarily bring about instant change. But they are instruments through which God can work. Our appreciative affirmation creates an environment for positive growth and change to take place. Over time, God in His grace will work to accomplish His purposes in and through those we encourage. I hope this helps. -Steve
Steve Johnson is the executive director at Insight for Living Canada.
THIS MONTH’S FEATURED RESOURCE
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Explore the meaning and practical applications of 20 New Testament “one another” actions, including love, accept, encourage, comfort, and forgive. Learn how to put love into action today! see enclosed form for ordering information 15
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THE EASTER STORY Affects Us All Year Long
Like the narratives of Christ’s birth, the accounts of His crucifixion and resurrection are so familiar we can miss the full intensity of the unexpected event. Our Easter page hosts resources intended to help us better understand what really happened when Jesus died and rose from the dead, why there was no alternative, and why it makes all the difference today and every day! INSIGHTFORLIVING.CA/EASTER
Stuff I’ve Learned That I’ll Never Forget: Sixteen Essentials from the Last Fifty Years single CD message
After 50 years of ministry, Chuck boils down his accumulated wisdom to 16 essentials. Chuck’s “stuff” provides time-tested and trustworthy landmarks to help you manoeuvre life with wisdom.
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The Rising Hope: Encouragement for Your Heart
Living the Psalms: Encouragement for the Daily Grind
paperback by Charles R. Swindoll, 64 pages
hardcover devotional by Charles R. Swindoll, 308 pages
Hope is essential to survival. But where do you find it? Chuck shares the everlasting, inexhaustible hope in Christ you can draw from every day for the rest of your life.
You can live beyond the daily grind. In these 26 weeks of readings, Chuck reminds you of a grace that never fails and a God who will guide you beyond reading the Psalms to living them.
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on the air THIS MONTH Simple Faith: The Sermon on the Mount— A Study of Matthew 5–7 14 CD messages + Bible companion
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When the Presence of Hope Arose
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Strengthening Your Grip: Essentials in an Aimless World 16 CD messages
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Laughter, Volumes 1 - 3 3 CD set
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The Benefit of the Doubt: Encouragement for the Questioning Christian paperback by Charles R. Swindoll, 84 pages
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Encouraging Words for Discouraging Days
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Is your situation impossible? In these two messages Chuck reassures you that impossibilities are God’s specialty. All you need to do is trust Him.
Some days pull the emotional rug out from under you. Chuck offers you a fresh reminder that God is in charge—no matter how deep your pain takes you.
Encouragement for Life hardcover gift book by Charles R. Swindoll, 189 pages
Weighed down by worry? Strength and wisdom are interwoven in this beautifully designed gift book—a source of hope for you or for someone needing your support.
THIS MONTH’S featured resource first copy
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