12 minute read
HUMOR
HUMOR
A quest for health ... the saga continues.
BY BERNIE ERICKSON
Thirty days hath September, April, June and November. All the rest have 31, Except January, which has 80.
Although this winter wasn’t so bad, it still got dark at 4 p.m. and there were days on end when the sun never broke through the clouds. But there weren’t days on end when the temperature never got above zero. And though it’s true I haven’t shoveled a flake of snow in nearly 20 years, you-know-who didn’t shovel any this January either. Well, maybe once.
There was a day that was so nice I actually considered taking my bicycle for a ride. But then I envisioned a TV news crew showing up when I skidded on the ice, wiped out and broke a hip. Nothing much other than weather happens here in January. I decided best not to risk it.
My self-expectations tend to relax a little in the winter months. I traded high fashion for high warmth years ago. A nice toasty car on cold winter mornings is infinitely more appealing than sensible fuel consumption. “Hat hair” is a small price to pay for frostbite-free ears.
And a couple extra pounds acquired over the holiday season is just a little extra insulation against the cold weather.
You may remember my adventure in the last issue, when I checked out GoGoGrapefruit, a new story in the mall. Selling up-to-the-minute activewear and fitness equipment, they had this year’s must-have: the MagicMirror home fitness trainer, which, it turns out, costs as much as a decent used car.
Hanging on the wall, it looks just like a full-length mirror. But when you turn it on, it comes alive. Instantly a remarkably handsome fitness/life coach appears and begins offering “suggestions” on increasing your fitness level, which would increase your wellness level, which would increase your sense of well-being, which may help you drop a couple pounds in the process.
I’ve long believed the most exercise generated by home fitness equipment is hauling it into the house and down the stairs to the family room. Then, a few months later, up the stairs to the master bedroom. Then, in the spring, down the stairs to the main floor sunporch, then finally out the door to your best friend Dahlia’s house or to the resale shop to never to make its way home again.
That fate would not be the case here. First of all, MagicMirror is anchored to studs and mounted on the wall. Then it is connected to the internet via wi-fi, with a wi-fi booster I had to buy to get a clear, consistent signal all the way up in the master bedroom. Installing MagicMirror took more technical expertise than when I installed a smart thermostat in our home, chilling our backyard neighbor’s house down to 55 degrees on a hot August day.
I’d made the first of 60 convenient monthly payments before I even had MagicMirror set up, and convenient payment monthly No. 2 was coming due February first — and I still hadn’t used it. I needed to get in shape so I’d be around to make the remaining 58 convenient monthly payments.
I powered up MagicMirror and the handsome avatar appeared. Only this time he wasn’t in the action-packed demonstration mode like he was at GoGoGrapefruit. He just kind of stood there and stared at me.
Clearly, it was time to find the instruction manual.
Turns out there are 72 steps to get MagicMirror up and running. Selecting, enrolling, attending and graduating from
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college took fewer steps. But I’m nothing if not determined.
First of all, he required a name. I chose Darryl. He looked like a Darryl and I don’t know any Darryl in real life. Then I had to choose his workout wear and his afterworkout wear, and his workout shoes and his after-workout shoes. And then his favorite energy drink and his favorite hydration drink. And his workout snack and his after-workout snack.
Seems like Darryl had a ridiculously detailed and complicated routine just to get ready for working out before he actually worked out. I knew we’d be best friends.
Finally, we set up the actual workout routine, although we were now calling it a “wellness plan” rather than a workout routine. Wellness sounds better anyway.
I hadn’t purchased the workout bench or the cable/pulley system to go with MagicMirror. Exercise equipment the price of a used car didn’t really fit into our 2021 financial plan. Added accessories were an added upcharge that rivaled the cost of a highquality bicycle, which I already owned. After five years, it was still in pristine condition and not because I take good care of it. But that’s another story.
We decided to begin with an entrylevel wellness plan. I liked that Darryl and I were already a “we” after our workout-wear shopping, shoe shopping and nutrition shopping. This was blossoming into a great friendship.
We agreed to start by warming up with some jumping jacks. A dozen or so. And then we enjoyed a refreshing vitamin water. Then we did a dozen sit-ups, although they’re called “crunches” now, followed by a delicious 78-grain energy bar. Then on to 12 pushups to cool down.
After about two weeks, I realized our wellness plan was strangely similar to the do-it-yourself exercise routine from years ago that everyone could have done all along if it really worked. Except after two weeks, this one was starting to work.
I’m not sure if my weight changed, but my posture was definitely better as was my overall outlook. Plus, including a regular appointment into my new normal schedule was a welcome addition.
And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one whose new best friend is an avatar.
BACKYARD
Deck Dynamics
BY TERRI FERRAGUT | PHOTOGRAPHY COURTESY DECKMASTERS
As the temperatures rise, our thoughts naturally turn to the outdoor living experience. Blooming flowers and the smell of backyard barbecues lure us to outward spaces with friends and family. Here are some considerations to ponder for a space that will bring you joy, relaxation and refuge.
Lake Melissa plays host to this paradise. The homeowners wanted to redesign their unusable space with an area to sunbath and shade to dine in. We accomplished this by covering part of the deck in a Great Plains Pergola and letting the other section soak up the sun, keeping the large picture windows free from shade and obstruction. Our custom-fabricated cable railing frames the view and requires zero maintenance. We outfitted the underside of the deck with a water diversion system ”creating a doubled outdoor living space and protection from the elements. Josh Smook, project designer, Deckmasters
Tucked away in North Fargo is a little slice of heaven where the homeowners wanted to spend “ time outdoors. We created a few separate spaces that spanned the entire back side of the home by incorporating a spa off the master bedroom, space for cushioned chairs, traffic flow in and out, and benches for spa towels and snacks. The main deck features a natural gas firepit, chaise lounges to soak up the sun, planters and benches. The benches keep the view unobstructed when looking at the wooded area. Pulling the project together is a lower patio with room for seating and a grill.
Putting the grill below keeps it out of sight and out ”of the deck traffic flow. Josh Smook, project designer, Deckmasters
Purpose: Think about how the outdoor space will be used and plan accordingly. Do you host dinner parties or BBQs? Are you looking for a quiet space to relax and unwind? Does your space need to be child or pet friendly? How many guests do you typically entertain?
Layout: When designing an outdoor living area, use the same thoughtfulness as if designing a floor plan for a new home. Each outdoor area should have a functional connection to the inside of the house, like placing the outdoor dining area near the kitchen.
Surroundings: Make the most of the views your property has to offer — create a small sitting area to enjoy a cup of coffee to watch the sunrise or a table and chairs for hors d’oeuvres and cocktails at sunset. Use hedges or screens to create privacy. How will the area fit into the environment? Comfort: Provide shade for warm afternoons or early-evening sun. Umbrellas, pergolas, covered patios or trees can take the edge off a hot summer day and provide shelter from a passing summer shower.
Plant Selection: Even an avid gardener needs a place to relax. Choose easy-care, low-maintenance greenery around your outdoor living space. Plants that attract bees and other pollinators are a good thing in your garden — you may not want them in your dining area.
It’s not often that we get a home that features a roof overhang and a concrete patio below. This was a fantastic project to work on. We started a square deck, keeping the deck simple to maximize the space and ease traffic flow. The screened room was created after the deck was completed. It features an aluminum railing and frame system for a screened-in room: a full extension of the house. Pesky mosquitoes are gone, yet it ”maintains the light, open-air feel. Josh Smook, project designer, Deckmasters
Fire: Extend outdoor entertaining for the cool season by creating a fire pit or fireplace area with comfortable seating. Incorporate storage areas for blankets for those beautiful fall evenings.
Lighting: Achieve a true extension of your home by incorporating lighting. Illuminate outdoor cooking areas to allow meal prep outside. Create visual interest by up-lighting trees and add safety with decorative lighting for steps and pathways.
Plan, create and execute your ideal outdoor living space with these decking ideas from Deckmasters Project Designer Josh Smook..
If decks could talk, this one has plenty to say! We had a lot going on with this project, multiple levels, balconies and a homeowner with the ability to grow beautiful greenery. With the deck close to the ground, we had flexibility in design and shape because we ”hid all the beam and post work used to support the deck. Josh Smook, project designer, Deckmasters
cuisine
Spring: a Season for Lamb
BY CHEF GRANVILLE WOOD
Nothing says spring like a delectable meal of lamb. Presented here is a succulent cut of lamb chops, a perfect medium rare.
Bring on the very essential seasoning of herbs! Here you see the “Best End of Lamb,” ready to be seasoned and off to the grill.
We have already broken the spell of 2020, so let us cement it with a bold spring luncheon with friends that takes you out of your comfort zone. You will be a star and feel in control of your life again.
Spring in so many countries, including ours, just calls out for the sacred and succulent lamb. So, it should be revered and treated accordingly. I say we grill a few racks and season them in different ways from three different countries. I have a penchant for lamb having grown up in Britain and, later in life, running our country inn in Oxfordshire. It was a lovely place with lush green rolling hills, dotted with small villages, plenty of church steeples, and, yes — white woolly sheep.
We had a regular at the inn who was called “The Greek” — heaven knows why as he was about as Greek I am. We never found out his real name, but it did not matter as he was just “The Greek.” He was a dapper man, a real English country gentleman, right down to his green wellies and wool waistcoat under a tweed jacket.
Did I mention “The Greek” was a sheep farmer? He would stop by in the morning for a coffee and chat by the fireplace, especially in lambing season when chances were that he had been up all night, tending to the ewes having a hard time birthing. In a sense, he was a sheep midwife. Between that and scaring off a hungry fox once or twice, he took the romance out of raising sheep. Never mind “The Greek,” take a drive through the dales and you might see a sheep farmer with his dogs and stout shaft herding the sheep. The romance is still there.
But, let us get back to that spring luncheon. In my house, lamb is always in season, but spring lamb is just that much sweeter and more tender, like the weather. A perfectly roasted leg of boneless lamb, a lovely pink medium rare with a stuffing of ramps and foraged mushrooms, is hard to beat. But to capture the flavors of different regions, we will go with the more prized rack, which is easily carved into individual chops for service.
Interestingly, the largest consumer per capita of lamb is Mongolia by miles, with New Zealand coming in at fourth following Iceland and Australia being seventh. I found that surprising as most of us think of New Zealand and Australia when lamb is mentioned. And who would ever put lamb and Iceland together in the same sentence?
As we are being bold, let me share a few recipes with you for the best end of lamb — the rack, which yields seven to 10 bones easily cut into individual chops after it is cooked and rested. It seems appropriate to start in Mongolia.
Civilization is the lamb’s skin in which barbarism masquerades.
Thomas Aldrich
