Veronika Kramar
Dossier: Germany Multikulti - Ukrainian Au pair in Germany
November 2010
„I never tried to be integrated...“ A German story of an Ukrainian Au pair
“Au pair” is a French expression which means mutual exchange and relations between a baby sitter from a different country and the host family. Looking after children and light housework must not overstep 30 hours a week. In reality, however, everything can look different. In British press for instance au pair was once called a “new slavery.” Katja’s first family experience was close to it. “I had to do mostly housework and didn’t spend much time with children. I had a room with separate entrance and was asked not to use the main entrance. We had very official relations and the children treated me as a servant”, stresses the girl. “I felt as a stranger and isolated.” After six months Katja realized that she would neither be able to adapt to this family nor to the German culture in general. So
Two years after: All together in amusement park during birthday! one day she decided to either go back home or change the family. “I took my decision not because of the children, but because of much housework and misunderstanding. I didn’t even have time to learn German”, says the girl disappointed. “First I thought my decision was like betrayal, but au pair means both parts should be happy and feel comfortable. I would advice all au pairs to say what they do not like and even change families if it does not work out. According to contract one has such a right.”
foto:k.smolianets
Mutual relationships?
foto:k.smolianets
O
h, here we were making an appliqué and here we were prepar“ ing costumes for carnival”, Katja says, reminiscing every bright moment she spent with little Anna and Maria. Her au pair year turned out to be interesting and complicated. Thousands of girls and boys like Kateryna Smolianets decide to use au pair program in order to improve foreign languages, learn new culture and probably to build new future perspectives. Katja holds a diploma in English, German and Spanish philology. “I spent 4 months in the USA with the program ‘Work and Travel’. I thought why not to practice my German and Spanish”, says the 25 year old single. That is what led her to Heidelberg. “It is an international and comfortable city, moreover so beautiful in all seasons!”, stresses Katja. She comes from a little Ukrainian village but spent her student years in the noisy industrial city Zaporizhia (South-Central Ukraine). She narrates how different the new German surrounding felt when she first came and for the first six months had a permanent wish to go back home.
“Life is good!” Katja with little Anna
New family - new opportunity
Everything in your hands
Katja was lucky to find another family immediately. She still had half a year in order to achieve her goals. “Since the first day me and family Volm came to an understanding and everything was back in place. I did not have to clean the house and dedicated all my time to the children – two little girls Maria (4) and Anna (2.5). There was a lot to do and we helped each other on an equal level”, smiles Katja. The older girl went to kindergarten and Katja spent more time with younger Anna - “I don’t want to brag, but after I finished my au pair year the youngest went to kindergarten and all teachers were wondering that the girl already knew a lot of things and was very well trained. For me it was unbelievably pleasant.” In the new family Katja started to improve her German. “When you clean the whole day there is no much time to learn language and with children you have one thousand questions and you have to answer all of them”, explains Kateryna.
Katja’s desire to research different study and work opportunities in Germany was rekindled. But she was running short of time. She only had 6 months to go. She tried to apply as a stewardess to different German airlines, but got regrets and no explanations. She felt that her nationality and lack of German education played a role. At the end of her au pair year Katja went back home. For two years she tried to look for ways to go back to Germany. Unlucky with study opportunities she got a chance to spend a social year working in the hospital as a volunteer. All this period of time German family was supporting Katja. “They are ready to help me in every way. Right now they don’t have any au pair but I help them whenever it is necessary. Of course I am not a member
“ Anyone can
integrate in another society as long as he can be useful for it
German language is not interesting anymore? Au pair program losing its popularity want to come to Germany has reduced”, says the owner of one of the oldest and biggest agencies for international exchange programs in Germany “Multikultur” Monika Supernok. According to statistics 10 years ago it was 1618 000 Au-pairs coming from the whole world to Germany, today it is about 9 000. “Young people from new EU-countries such as Poland or the Czech republic do not come any more. They have other possibilities”, explains Ms. Supernok: “Most of the youth study English. German language may lose its importance.” Au pairs mostly come from Russia, Georgia and Kirgizstan, also from Africa and South America. One of the biggest groups comes from Ukraine. “Most Ukrain-
ians have graduated from the University already and speak German very well, that is why they can easily settle in the host family. It makes them different from other Au-
foto:flickr
D
uring or after studying foreign languages many students look for different possibilities to improve knowledge in a language’s original surrounding. Au pair is one of these possibilities. In different countries au pair is different. It is usually for young people between 17-27 who are ready to spend one year abroad living with a foreign family, help them with childcare and do light housework. A host family provides an Au pair with a room, food and pocket money (260 Euros). It involves mutual exchange and an equal level of interaction. Germany is one of the most favorable European countries for au pair possibilities. At least it was until recently. “Within the last 10 years the number of au pairs who
Dialog brings understanding
pairs”, adds Ms. Supernok. This year about 900 Ukrainians granted an au pair visa - less than in 2001, when were given 2 600 visa.
of the family and not an au pair anymore, but I feel great support and always been invited to visit them”, says Katja emotionally. Now she is busy preparing a present for them. “My host parents have been living together for seven years already, but still not married. Finally it will happen in December. Because my hobby is tailoring we are doing nice costumes for girls.” Currently Katja is very happy with her life. “I am in the medical field and I like helping people. In Ukraine I had different work experience: in the office, at school, as a waiter. By helping nurses to look after patients who are hopelessly ill now I feel useful and with a responsibility I have never had before.” Now Katja is thinking of studying medicine. “I want to gain German education. I like German stability, level of culture and the quality of education.” Unfortunately she doesn’t see any positive work perspectives in her city. “In my heart I will always be Ukrainian. I want to be a free and independent person who can travel and move through countries without borders.” The au pair year she spent in Germany influenced her a lot and the comfortable condition and attitude in the Volm family let her understand German culture and its people. “I have never tried to integrate into the German society. Partly I managed to do it. This is the question of language, of course. Although I have enough level to understand and to speak I still find it difficult especially when around people I do not know. I neither understand their interests nor their sense of humour. At my host family’s we often had guests and we had common discussions during which I learnt to adapt better”, smiles Katja: ”I think every person can integrate in another society as long as he can be useful for it. If there is something he can give in a cultural and intellectual sense, then there shouldn’t be any problem with integration.“
German host families are usually interested in the level of language, culture and education of Au pair. “It is important that baby-sitters come to Germany with the right attitude. Some difficulties arise because Au pairs are not prepared for possible problems “, - explains Monika Supernock. She stresses that ‘possible problems’ may come about if an Au pair is not flexible and not able to face some difficulties, to learn and gain experience. “The adaptation period varies from person to person, but I personally don’t know any Au pair who left his/ her host family because of the children and went back home.” u u
www.multikultur.info www.au-pairs.de
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au pair : h ow i t s ta rt e d ? n First au pair started in Europe after the Second World War. That time the traditional role of women began to change. Fathers and emancipated mothers had to work hard on equal terms. This lead to need to have a baby sitter. n The European Agreement on Au Pair was adopted by Council of Europe in November 1969 n In Germany the treaty was signed in 1974
u www.guetegemeinschaftaupair.de u www.iapa.org u www.apsev.de