IntimacyTV Magazine May Issue

INTIMACYTV 4TH EDITION MAY 2017

Declutter Tips

For Mums

Sex & Intimacy After A Baby

Sailing Through Your

Menopause

Millionaire

MUM

Reclaim Your

Money Mojo WWW.INTIMACYTV.COM.AU

LoveYourself MoreOften Celebrating The Month Of Mums

EDITOR'S NOTE IntimacyTV Magazine focuses on tackling everyday issues regarding dating, love, sex and relationships. Our motto is to focus on providing real education through having raw and honest conversations around taboo and sensitive topics that most people are shying away from.

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For enquiry about article contribution and magazine advertisement, please send an email to info@intimacytv.com.au A. Intimacy TV Magazine PO BOX 8294 Armadale Victoria 3143, Australia E. info@intimacyTV.com.au W. www.intimacyTV.com.au

With the month of Dating, Sex & Intimacy quickly passing by, we want to give a special Thank You to all the amazing contributors that have been a part of IntimacyTV Magazine - April issue. Last month we unveil some of the tips and secrets to help people navigate their way through modern dating. We also dived deep into some of the taboo topics when it comes to intimacy and sex, including: squirting, cunninglingus tips, taboo fantasies etc. It couldn’t be more controversial!

Can you believe that May is approaching already? Can you believe that we are nearly half way through the year?

Wow! Time flies! Nothing signifies the importance of time as parenthood, I (Jane) believe.

At IntimacyTv we believe that all mums deserve the biggest Thank You and for that reason, our May’s magazine is all dedicated to MUMS. With this issue we make sure that there is a variety of topics that are of interest to mums including: Sex & Intimacy after a baby, Decluttering tips for guilt ridden mums, How your marriage can affect your children, Menopause, The art of loving yourself, etc.

We can’t wait for our next cover as we unveil the truths around some of the topics that are considered Taboo including: Infertility, Pre-Ejaculation, Divorce, Male Emasculation etc. so watch out for the next issue.

At Intimacy TV, our promise is to cover hot, sensitive and taboo topics in each issue that people rarely talk about.

If there is a topic of interest, please feel free to send us an email to info@intimacytv.com.au.

With Love from the entire IntimacyTV team and

Cover Photograph by Gemma Higgins INTIMACYTV/MAY 2

Jane

elina M &

CONTENTS

6 FAMILY Food allergies, sex & intimacy after a baby, what your marriage teaches your kids, childhood sexual abuse, single dad

15 CAREER Millionaire Mum, Guest Expert Interview, Reclaim your money mojo

20 SELF 25 reasons to love yourself wholeheartedly, Love yourself more often, Sailing through your menopause, Breast Massage & Kegels

INTIMACYTV/MAY 3

Breaking all the rules in the industry by putting a face to the company Melina is now the leading Intimate Lifestyle Educator in Australia today speaking as a guest speaker at various women’s events.

Melina has created Australia’s first complete boxset of ‘Intimacy’ products providing a full sensory experience. To complete the experience, Taboo Intimacy assists you with scenarios, education and play cards to keep the joy happening.

Melina also runs workshops and online program to educate women on the topics of love, sex, relationship & intimacy.

SPEAKING TOPICS: How to have a passionate sex life even after children How to master the art of attraction The Porn addiction dilemma MELINA MACDONALD How to spice up your sex life with intimacy products Intimacy & Adult Product The reality behind STI’s – how over 80% of sexually Lifestyle Educator, Author, active people contract them & infertility Speaker, Dating, Sex, Love The types of guys to date and the one’s to avoid & Intimacy Expert Navigate through Modern Dating PlatformsAdd subheading Jane Nguyen empowers strong, independent & powerful women to create the best relationship of their lives. Her clients come from all walks of life, whether it’s about re-inventing themselves after a nasty relationship breakup, wanting to attract a more conscious and loving man into their lives; or wanting to save their relationship from the brink of break up or divorce. Jane is the ‘go-to girl’ for people who want to experience transformational change in their relationships.

Jane comes from a background of a 6-year abusive relationship (both physically & emotionally). After leaving that relationship, Jane devoted many years of her life in the space of personal development to find out the key ingredients to create a successful JANE NGUYEN relationship. Using her signature “Feminine Power” coaching method Author, Speaker, in her programs, workshops and retreats, Jane teaches women how Transformational Dating to tap more into their Feminine essence and shine from the inside & Relationship Coach, out, to attract a man and a relationship that allows them to be all NLP Practitioner and Level that they can be.

2 Meta Dynamics SPEAKING TOPICS: Consultant The secret formula of a long lasting and successful relationship.

How to avoid losing your relationship to entrepreneurship How to avoid the top 3 common mistakes that most strong women make in relationship that keep them stressed out, frustrated and unfulfilled in relationships Why are you attracting Mr. Wrong and how to effortlessly find Mr. Right.

How to step into your feminine essence & allow your men to step into his purpose, strength & power.

Quick QUIZ We're going to talk about becoming parents now

1

What are your thoughts on becoming a parent someday?

6

What's your biggest fear about becoming a parent?

2

Do you have an ideal age when you would like to have kids?

7

Is there anything you're looking forward to about having kids?

3

How many kids would you like to have?

8

Do you have a preference in terms of having a girl or a boy?

4

What's the one thing you don't want to do as a parent?

9

5

What's the biggest mistake you think your parents made raising you?

How do you think a couple's relationship changes when they have children?

10

What do you think is the most important thing to take into consideration before starting a family?

Food Allergies A Mums determination

to let her kids lead normal lives

Food allergies now effect 1 in 10 children.

In a strange twist of fate, all three of our children were diagnosed with anaphylaxis, to different foods and in varying degrees of severity. Once we got a handle on our children’s allergies, we found a rhythm to life. We shopped using the knowledge gained from the medical assistance we had received. However we still had no solution to their concerning skin conditions including rashes, swelling, eczema, dermatitis, etc. The specialists Esta De Araugo advised us to give the kids bleach baths to help Director Of Alertband with skin infections. My heart broke with the www.alertband.com.au screaming and crying as this caused stinging and a burning sensation on their skin. With my chemistry background, I knew deep down this was harmful to these kids, whilst the toxicity was absorbed into their little bodies and their immune systems were always low.

Sharing our concerns with friends, they introduced us to Modere. This turned our children’s lives around. By introducing some of the core products into our daily routine such as Minerals, Multi Vitamins, Probiotics, Green Qi, altering their toothpaste and changing their bath wash, we saw their skin clear up in next to no time. In under 2 months their skin had gone from being red and painfully scarred to smooth and pain free. Toxic free and chemical free products was the key.

With healthy kids we thought we were home free, however, the near death experience involving our two youngest children at Easter 2013, led to sleepless nights, and drove me to look for ways to increase allergy awareness. A simple mistake such as a leading supermarket incorrectly labelling their hot cross buns, lead to two of my children having an immediate anaphylactic reaction. Fortunately I knew what to do, having experienced this numerous times before. Hence it is extremely important to check all ingredient labels every time as companies change their ingredients. But it got me thinking, what would others do?

I wanted to educate my children, and others, about not only food allergies, but all types of allergies, anaphylaxis and other medical conditions.

Parties and social outings are extremely frightening. My son once went into anaphylactic shock just by walking into a room. After a trip in the ambulance to hospital it was revealed he is anaphylactic to airborne peanut protein.

I felt like the kids were missing out on being normal kids, they couldn’t eat most party food. We weren’t invited out and were excluded from parties. All food is checked before they go anywhere near it and they stay clear of others consuming foods they are allergic to. It is important to wash their hands and for their friends to wash their hands to prevent cross contamination of food on their skin or their toys.

I needed a simple, effective way to get through to others, unaware of the risks and life threatening dangers of allergies. Along came the concept that we have made a reality. Comfortable, funky, practical wristbands, designed for allergy sufferers. I also wrote an Allergy friendly cookbook. I was sharing my recipes with my friends and thought why not share them with the world. It contains meals that are allergy friendly, easy and quick to cook, with ingredients from your pantry. My aim in writing the book was to help others, little did I know that it would be approved by, selling in the Royal Children’s Hospital Bookshop in Melbourne.

I’m happy to report that whilst were still vigilant, my kids now live normal lives thanks to the awareness I have helped to create. Parties are not so much of a problem and we get to go to people’s places a lot more.

I’m just a mum doing what mums do for their kids, just with the added sense of happiness that I’m helping others in the process.

INTIMACYTV/MAY 6

Amy Revell Declutter Queen, Profesional Organiser www.simplyorganised.net

7 Declutter Tips for Guilt Ridden Mothers

How many times have you kept things that your kids or partner gave you thinking that it was the right thing to do even though you knew you’d never look at it again? Have you ever wondered why you keep these things, what the purpose is and will they ever add value to your life? Well here is the permission some of you have been waiting for – here are 10 things that you can get rid of today, with no Mummy guilt!!

1. Your Child’s First Haircut As parents we tend to celebrate all the ‘firsts’ for our children. First smile, first time rolling over, first steps and even things like first haircuts. So if you’re one of the mums who has kept a sample of your child’s first haircut this is your permission to throw it out. Unless you’re super organised and have already stuck it in a baby journal; you can just chuck it in the bin.

or birthday presents that are way off the mark.

Allow this to be permission to throw them out – don’t feel like you have to keep things that aren’t your style or you don’t like.

6. Lingerie That Doesn’t Fit You’d be surprised how many clients I see have a drawer of beautiful lingerie that they no longer wear because it doesn’t fit anymore. They feel like they spent a lot of money on buying it and feel guilty about their weight changing and it not fitting anymore. Embrace your new body and get rid of expensive lingerie you no longer wear (even better, buy some that you feel beautiful in again!)

2. Your Child’s Teeth As a Professional Organiser I’m not surprised by anything I find in someone’s home. There are some things that just shouldn’t be kept though… and fallen out teeth are top of the list! If you started by saving the first lost tooth then ended up keeping them all, throw the lot in the bin – it’s kinda gross and will add 7.Your Kids’ Artwork no value to the quality Don’t keep it all!! There’s not enough room in any of your life or the life of your child… but that’s just house for a mum to keep every piece of my opinion! schoolwork your child brings home. Pick a storage 3. Letters and Cards From Your Ex container for each child (under bed storage They would have been lovely and romantic at the containers are a good size) and keep only what time. But keeping love letters and cards from an ex fits in the container. Any particularly amazing sets you up for some very confusing feelings. Once artwork; frame it and enjoy it displayed on your you break up, you need closure and keeping letters wall :) & cards stops you from moving on. So grab the lot The freedom that comes from decluttering is of them and drop them in the recycling bin. amazing – if you want a more simple life follow 4. Your Wedding Dress the path of only keeping items in your home that The most expensive dress you’ve ever bought – you love or you need. Guilt influences us to keep and the most beautiful! What do you do with it so many things that we know we don’t need, so after your big day? Well a few suggestions – today stand up to the bully of Mummy guilt and donate it to an op-shop; do some fun tell her to back down! You’re an amazing mum regardless of whether you kept the hair of your photoshoots while trashing it, but don’t keep it just first child, but not your second; scrapbooked because you ‘should’. It’s time to make some room your way through pregnancy number one and in your wardrobe! vomited your way through pregnancy number two… life is for living so get rid of the excess so 5. Gifts You Hate you can focus on the now and enjoy living.

Everyone gets gifts from time to time that they Enjoy the Freedom! don’t like. Trinkets from family members, travel INTIMACYTV/MAY 7

Sex & Intimacy After A Baby

Jane Nguyen Author,Speaker, Transformational Dating & RElationship Coach, NLP Practitioner and Level 2 Meta Dynamics Consultant jane@intimacytv.com.au

"Having a baby is one of the most difficult yet rewarding experiences one can have" As a mother to an 8 week old baby, I must say it is an amazing journey from finding out about the pregnancy to child birth. What I found interesting was the fact that I was so prepared for the birth, yet, no one told you what came after.

Suddenly you are handed this new baby with no instructions or manuals, accompanied by lots of sleep deprivation, tired & sometimes anxiety. This definitely has put a lot of pressure on mums, their bodies as well as relationships in general. When your main focus is your new baby and sleep, it is understandable that sex is the last thing on their mind.

For a lot of couples, sex and intimacy is at the back burner, sometimes much longer than they expect.

Many couples end up sleeping in separate bedrooms and, in serious cases, go separate ways.

First of all, I want to share my thoughts on why it’s important to re-connect & be intimate with each other after childbirth (this is of course after your doctor’s check-ups and given everything is ok down there).

I believe that your relationship forms a foundation for your child’s understanding of relationships and love. Children watch and learn their views of the world mostly through their parents. When parents don’t share the same bedroom, argue lots or not being intimate with each other etc., the child unconsciously learns that how relationships should be.

I’m not saying this to put pressure on you or anything, you gotta do what’s best for you and your family. What’s I’m sharing is based on my beliefs of what’s best for mine. But I would like to share some tips for those who are ready and want to re-ignite their relationship spark after child birth:

Communication is Key It’s important to communicate with your partner about where you’re at. For a lot of mums, they can be quite emotional and overwhelmed due to the after birth hormones and the uncertainty of the new parenthood.

Instead of withdrawing and shutting down, I would recommend to share openly your feelings and struggles and to ask for help when you need. Let them know how dads can help also means that they feel like they are still an important part of the team.

INTIMACYTV/MAY 8

Make time for intimacy The harsh truth is that intimacy will only happen when you actually make time for it. This does not mean it will happen straight away or happen the way you plan. Just like you plan your shopping trip, washing, housework around your baby, you also need to do the same thing with intimacy. With your new busy life, if you don’t plan it, it’s not going to happen.

Love your body and every part of it.

It is understandable that many women don’t feel confident or sexy in their bodies after birth. On top of that, most women don’t have time to sleep, let alone to wash their hair, get out of their pyjamas or put make up on.

However, men don’t really care if you haven’t got your make up on, they don’t care about those stretch marks or untoned stomach, they just want to be close to you and intimate. So stop being critical of yourself, be proud of your body and every bit of it; do something that makes you feel good.

Take it slow Even when the doctor gives you the ‘green’ light, it’s important to take things slow. Start with some nice cuddles, nice relaxing massages and slowly transition into sex. The first time we got intimate again, my baby decided that she wanted a feed so we ended up cuddling each other to sleep afterwards.

It also gives me some re-assurance to hear my husband says that we’ll take things as slow as we need and at any time I’m uncomfortable, we’ll stop. So let your partner know if you need to stop or when things don’t feel right.

Expect your sex life to be different after a baby For many women, things do feel different down there after pushing out a baby. On top of that, you breasts might be tender and leaky, hence things can be a bit awkward with sex. Some women might be fearful that it can be painful, that something might tear etc. These differences and feelings might just be temporary and it doesn’t mean that it’s bad, it’s just new. Use plenty of lubricants or foreplay and try different positions that allow you to feel more comfortable. Sex can be fun again after baby, it just needs a bit of an adjustment.

Tips for dads – Help out with the housework When you help out with the housework, dinner or even just taking care of the baby, your wife can catch up on some rest/sleep, have a nice long bath, get her hair done, etc. When she feels rested and emotionally supported, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can get your sex life back on track.

Tips for dads – Don’t take things personally Rejection can be hard to handle, however, it is not personal. She might be going through a lot of emotions and adjustment, be understanding and compassionate. Some women don’t feel good about their bodies, they are tired and sleep deprived, hence sex is the last thing on their mind. Let her know how much you love and appreciate her, let her know how much you love her body (and please be genuine when you do this), offer help whenever possible, be there for her not just physically and emotionally. And remember, if she doesn’t want sex, it’s not personal. If it doesn’t happen the first time, take it slow and keep trying.

INTIMACYTV/MAY 9

Mums,

what is your marriage really teaching your kids?

I am a mother of two daughters a 17 year old and 12 year old, and for many years I had held on to the guilt within me for the not so perfect marriage I had been displaying before my girls. And while I believe I have raised my girls to be conscious, having always encouraged them to be aware of the responsibility they have over their own lives and their freedom over the choices they make, when it came to my marriage I could see that the choices I made were far from taking responsibility for the role I played out in my marriage. You see, I have been married for 22 years and these years had been anything but my definition of an ideal marriage.

My husband and I had learnt to successfully hide behind the busyness of our lives using our kids as very valid excuses, we hid behind the routine lives we had created so that we did not have to deal with our massive ego’s in the way of allowing us to be vulnerable with each other and allowing our need for love, support and connection to be even remotely known.

It was not until I was able to question my actions that I was able to recognize my past patterns and delve within myself to find that I had in fact been playing out past patterns that were in fact detrimental to our marriage. I was playing out my parents’ lack of trust in their marriage, also events that took place in my growing up years that had led me to decide that men could not be trusted. I was able to recognize that no matter what my husband did and did not do, I had already decided that he could NOT be trusted.

Similarly he brought into our marriage his undealt with emotions and past patterns that further distanced us. I later discovered that many of us do just this and that it takes courage to face these. It requires of us let go of our ego’s need to be right. It requires of us to be vulnerable as we share our emotions and allow ourselves to come from a space of love in our communication with our partners. It takes work and it is worth every bit not just for you, for your partner but for your kids and may be even their kids through the marriages they enjoy.

So what is my marriage really teaching my kids? Today my marriage is teaching my kids that; 1) It takes courage to look within oneself and recognise any past patterns that we bring into the marriage. When I act in courage I am empowered.

2) Each individual brings into the marriage unconsciously of course, their own personal ‘excess baggage’ and that’s OK. Because we are all on a journey of personal growth and personal development and our marriages provide a fantastic opportunity for personal growth.

3) I am worthy of love, abundance and happiness in my marriage and in every area of my life Yolanda Alvares is the author of her book entitled ‘Abundant motherhood; empowering mum’s to empower their kids’. Yolanda runs empowerment workshops for kids helping them increase self-belief in themselves; she also runs abundant motherhood workshops for mums supporting mums in their challenges as she leads them towards living more authentic and abundant lives. Find out more about her empowerment events and workshops visit www.giggle4girls.com.au or www.abundantmotherhood.com.au

I

educate families and professionals in preventing childhood sexual abuse.

When I tell people what I do, it often brings up a lot of different feelings for them. In my workshops with parents, guardians and professionals, I do touch on tragic facts such as;

Preventing Childhood Sexual Abuse

1 in 5 Australian children experience some sort of childhood sexual abuse before they reach 18 years old, 90% of perpetrators are known family members such as uncles, fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers and brothers, A child or young person must disclose at least 5-8 times before being believed and supported.

But the bulk of my work is facilitating positive and empowering programs for children and young people. In these evidence-based programs, children and young people learn to acknowledge and give voice to their emotions and feelings, to understand how fear physically manifests in their bodies (early warning signs), and to practice consent and assertive communication online and offline. They are also given activities to develop their own sense of bodily autonomy.

Describing my work as sexual abuse prevention is straight to the point, but I think of my work as teaching children life skills to navigate the adult world as kind, considerate and respectful people.

As a teen, did you ever feel pressured to go physically further then you wanted to in romantic relationships?

As a young person, did you ever feel that an older colleague or boss demand work beyond appropriate work boundaries?

As an adult, have you ever felt the social pressure of ‘being polite’ when responding to someone’s request for help, to attend a social outing or even, to purchase an item you don’t really want?

Imagine if you had been taught as a child that you are allowed to say ‘no’ and that ‘no’ was respected, that someone checked in that your words matched your body language, and you were given skills to approach supportive adults for help. Childhood sexual abuse, and abuse of any kind is based on a power imbalance. It relies on the complicit culture of authority, silence and ‘respecting elders’ in a nonquestioning way; that a child or young person does not have the right to respectfully assert their opinions, thoughts and/or the rights’ to their body. A recent outing with my child reinforced just how important my work is still.

My child has a large strawberry mark on their forearm and back. A strawberry mark is a bright red protruding blemish on the skin. It usually harmless, and fades to skin colour over time. My child’s blotches have faded, and are often mistaken for burns. In the playground, some curious children spotted my child’s mottled skin. Nonplussed, my child explained the birthmark and they all carry on playing. A parent noticed this exchange, and mentions that their child also has one, but it has yet to fade. Interested in how a strawberry mark may end up looking, the parent walks over and grabs my child’s arm saying, ‘let me look at your strawberry mark.’ A tug of war ensued. The parent wins with might.

The parent continues with ‘turn around,’ while physically manoeuvring my child and pulling up their shirt. This is not sexual abuse situation; the parent is not a predator, but an ordinary exchange between child and adult.

What does it say to a child about their bodily autonomy?

What does it say to a child's right to choose who and where and when touches their body?

What does it say to a child that if they indicate with their body language that they disagree?

Protecting children from sexual abuse is an adult’s responsibility, and by changing how our children expect to be treated and respected, we can create a safer community for all children.

Whitney Yip is co-founder of Body Safety Australia, a social enterprise offering whole community protective behaviours education in line with the national curriculum and Victoria’s Child Safe Standards. Whitney is a member of International Society for Preventing Child Abuse and Neglect’s (ISPCAN) Young People Advisory Board and was invited to speak the 13th Australasian Conference on Child Abuse and Neglect. https://www.bodysafetyaustralia.com.au

Being a Single Dad in a Single Mom World Daimien Patterson Owner of Integrity Property Investments Property investing tips from top Australian Property Investment Strategists. www.integritypropertyinvestment.com.au

We felt this month it was important to hear from a Single Dad on what its like, their fears, challenges and tips on how to move on in todays world.

A bit about you and how long have you been a single dad?

I’ve been a single dad for nearly two years. I was previously with my partner for 16 years, married with two kids a 7 & 10yr old and I have them every second week from Friday to Friday. I am a busy entrepreneur with three companies and doing this routine has been great, as I have learned new skills. In a normal family unit you each take on specific roles. I was the primary breadwinner and she looked after kids schooling and healthcare. Now I feel I am a better father as I have been forced to understand more about my children and be informed about what my kids needs are.

What have been some of the accomplishment being a single dad?

I feel like I’m a much better father. I make a conscious effort to make a special effort to diarise time with my children regardless of how busy things can get. Every night between 6-7pm we sit together for dinner and I drive the kids to school daily (a 40minute drive) and I use that time in the morning to have quality time with the kids. They usually request songs and we take turns having a sing-a-long and chat about the day ahead and what challenges are going to be faced.

Single parents have to be in both mum and dad’s role for their children. How did you manage that?

The kids can talk their mum at any time so I don’t feel I’m a mum in a traditional way I do however feel that I have now learned to be a better nurturer and my ex partner is a better disciplinary parent.

I have hired an Au Pair (live in nanny) to assist with the mundane jobs like housekeeping and prepare the kids breakfast and school lunches so I get to spend more quality time with my kids.

What was the scariest moment being a Single Dad? My issue was more of a psychological one. I wasn’t scared about being a single dad, I was scared about having a failed marriage. My dad left when I was 1 year old so I didn’t want to be like my dad. I refused to leave my marriage however my partner decided this for me. When it happened it was quite devastating that I had failed in one of my own goals of having a successful marriage. I have been heavily involved in youth programs and my kids were out of nappies so having them was never the issue. I feel a bit guilty in saying this but separating and sharing the kids is way better than a marriage.

I can prioritise my needs and what I want to do now.

What’s the best advice you ever received being a Single Dad? Have more fun! I was the rock star and the authoritarian. The kids would run and greet me at the door and I would spend a little bit of time with them and the only other time I would intervene was when I had to be the authoritarian. You cant be 100% authoritarian all the time because there is no balance and the kids hate it. You need to have more fun for balance. Life is way more fun now when you have fun with your kids!

What should every Single dad know about his kids?

You need to know how they feel about the whole relationship and have an open discussion with them.

My son took the break-up pretty hard and started acting up at school. Once we talked about it all things improved (he even offered to fix it all). Your kids sometimes have a level of intelligence and understanding you never expect. Make sure you check-in with your kids regularly.

If you could do it all over again, how would you have done it differently?

I wouldn’t have got married so young! I was 21yrs old and in the army and our lifestyle changed when I became an entrepreneur. My wife signed up to be an army wife so things were difficult as being a business owner there are no guarantees. What matters most in my life is…

What matters most in my life is…

My priorities are: #1 My own HEALTH both mental and cardio or you will have a breakdown. If you fall over you will be the worst father, partner and business owner and can’t be there for your children. Respect & listen to your body if you’re stressed, short tempered and lacking energy #2 My KIDS and their needs are being provided for #3 all the other stuff in life What’s your dating life like as a single dad?

Pretty good! Thanks to a background in marketing and sales it was easy to understand that my profile was branding and like a landing page for a website to go straight for my target market. What women want is a great guy and someone who wants to settle down and that’s not what I want right now so that would be the main challenge however I make sure that I attract the right audience. I have tried various dating platforms and found RSVP was a great balance to have some great company, have some fun and hang with some-one. I find dating women with kids is great, as we both under-stand the priorities.

3 big tips for single dad trying to get back out there 1. Get an Au Pair so you have a babysitter while on a date 8pm drinks are best on a first date.

2. Kids are all asleep and you don’t have to worry about the pressure of dinner.

3. Give a girl at least 3 months to see her true colors.

Pamper Ideas for Mothers Using the Power of Scent

Julie Nelson Aromatique Essentials http://www.aromatiqueessentials.com.au NB: Remember to research the essential oils and their contra-indications.

The most important thing for you as a mother is to create and give yourself some sacred space and time. Doing this will assist in replenishing your emotional, physical and spiritual energy.

Method for full body bathing. Add your chosen essential oils just before hopping in and make sure you agitate the water to break up the oils. To receive the most benefit you only need to soak for 15 mins. When bathing you have 2 methods of absorbtion, they are through your skin known as the integumentary system and your olfactory by breathing in the oils.

Essential oil recipes for full body bathing and foot baths *3 drops each of Lemon, Rose & Frankincense to calm, bring peace of mind. *3 drops each of Neroli, Sandalwood and 1 drop of Ylang Ylang is a wonderful relaxing Goddess blend. * 2 drops each of Geranium, Vetiver and Sweet Orange with is very grounding and is uplifting to the emotions.

Body and Room Sprays Sprays are fabulous and easy to use on a daily basis and you can carry them with you. Use a 50 ml coloured or opaque glass bottle with atomiser. Add your chosen essential oils and top up to the neck of the bottle with filtered or floral water. Give the bottle a gentle shake before each use.

Suggested blends * 3 drops Geranium, 4 drops Sweet Orange, 6 drops Lemon & 5 drops Sandalwood. * 6 drops Lemon, 10 drops Grapefruit, 4 drops Cardamom, 5 drops Sandalwood and 5 drops Rose

Tip - when getting ready for your foot bath place a towel under the bowl, then pour in your water, add the essential oils and agitate before placing your feet in the bowl. Agitating the water helps to disperse the oils, sit back and enjoy. Generally for therapeutic baths we recommend you soak for 10 minutes, otherwise you may lose the effect you desire.

When you are ready to take your feet out, place them onto the towel, move the bowl carefully to one side, wrap the towel around your feet and pat dry. Full body bathing can be used for reducing stress, tension and anxiety,, insomnia, muscular aches and pain, PMT and of course having time out for you.

INTIMACYTV/MAY 13

Straight Talk

with Jane & Melina

Q:

He ALWAYS calls, but is unable to visit.

Phone Pals?

I met a man online 9 months ago. I am 44. He is 49. We are both single with 2 grown children.

We talked for 3-4 months before meeting in person. We live in different states and are 6 hours apart. He does work full time and lives with and supports his elderly parents who are both ill. He is in dire financial straits because of the help he provides to his parents and the "usual" bills of life. Without writing about everything he tells me, he does share details of his life (parents, friends, job, ex wife, kids, money, bills) with me. Despite the distance, we are very close. Since our initial contact 9 months ago, he has called and texted me EVERY single day without fail and does so multiple times a day.

We have only seen each other the one time and the reason is his lack of money. We don't talk about it often, but when we do he says that he feels bad for not being able to visit and give me more time. It's obvious the relationship is not about sex or money. (We do not give each other money or gifts.) We agree that we are not exclusive and will tell each other know if we want to date others. Would a man waste his time communicating so often if he wasn't interested? Maybe I'm just a friendly "sounding board?" I think he's a really good man and I'd like to ask him, but don't want to appear as if I'm pressuring him for time and visits knowing he can't at the moment.

Q:

REAL QUESTIONS HONEST ADVICE

Should I stay or leave?

My current girlfriend and I got back together 2 weeks ago after being separated for 4 months.

During this time we were not together but we still spoke almost everyday and still had feelings for each other. Then she confessed to me that she slept with a guy that was a friend of mine. I know this guy and he doesn't use protection. ever.

My girlfriend said that in the 4 months, she only got with him and no one else and that they don't talk anymore because she is angry at the guy for taking advantage of her while she was wasted. I believe her and we both said that we loved each other and that she doesn't want to lose me again, so I decided to get back together with her. I do have one problem now though; I love my girlfriend and I know we weren't together and all, but I know this guy and I'm always thinking about the two of them just getting together and I always get disgusted and I start to cry sometimes.

What should I do? is there a way to not think about it or should I leave her? I don't think I can even sit on the bed they slept in knowing he was in it.

A:

The decision whether you choose to leave or stay has to come from you and what feels right. But let’s talk about the real issues here: You're very upset because you've forgiven your girlfriend, but you've repressed your feelings about what happened. That doesn't usually work. You can push your feelings down in one place, and they pop up in another. Unless you confront your feelings and Are you just phonepals?…yes. have an honest, open conversations with your gf, Would a man invest soo much time chatting to you will forever resent/feel upset and angry about someone who is constantly there for them and what happened. This is not an overnight process giving them emotional support…of course! That’s and you need to let those feelings out. worth more then any money or gifts. Does that There might be some underlying issue around trust mean you have a future for a relationship…no. towards your gf as well as you friend. I think you When a man wants more he will move mountains need to confront both of them and have an open to see their woman and money will never be an conversation so that you can get it out of the excuse. They would hitchhike across country if system. they have to (even with sick parents to tend for). You also need to talk about your relationship You are in an emotional relationship with this man boundary of what’s acceptable and what’s not so that you are clear. Not having a clear boundary and unfortunately that is all there will ever be. might mean that things like this might happen again More then likely he realised he was only ever going to be that when you met in person but saw in the future the benefit in your friendship. It’s time to accept Please send your questions to info@intimacytv.com.au he is your BFF but with a penis and move on and our team will personally review and answer them. *All names have been changed to protect privacy girlfriend!

A:

Ways 3for Mum’ s to

Reclaim their Money Mojo

Marisa Punshon is a Money Mentor and Cash Flow Consultant. She helps people increase their cash and gain control of their finances so they can grow their personal wealth and do what they love to do. She is a Vision Partner for The Entourage, 2016 Money Expert for Ausmumpreneur and a Mind PT Consultant.

Let me cut to the chase – having children is friggin expensive, exhausting and draining as well as exciting and fulfilling. I know: I’ve had two and aged more in 20 years than I care to admit! As mothers the juggle of motherhood and money can be extremely challenging. Reduced income coming into the household, childcare fees and medical expenses combined with the rising cost of living means many of us live in a constant state of money stress. Add to that living in a world dominated by consumerism and instant gratification, it’s no wonder many mums are stuck in relentless cycle of being a slave to their money. If you are looking to jump off the treadmill and reclaim your money mojo I’ve got three ways to easily reduce your expenses.

Reduce Bad Debt If you have a credit card that you are paying interest on identify the interest rate you are paying and find out current offers for lower interest rates or 0% on balance transfers. Before switching banks contact your current bank and see what they can offer you to reduce your current interest rate (some will give you a 3 month no interest period to help you pay it down). Make your bank work for your business: if they say they cannot give you a better deal, maybe it’s time to piss them off and go and find one from another provider - and let them know you are doing so. A little bit of legwork, which can usually be done via phone or internet, can pay off big time in terms of savings for you.

Negotiate and Avoid Penalties Get a better deal with your utilities, telephone and various insurances. Contact your current providers and negotiate a discount or, move on, find a new provider that offers the same benefits at a lower cost and reclaim your mojo.

Find out if any of your providers offer a discount if you pay on time. If you just don’t have the cash to do this then talk to your providers about setting up weekly/fortnightly direct debit installment plans. This way you are not hit with a large bill and at risk of paying late penalty fees or using your credit card.

Unsubscribe Identify reoccurring subscriptions, for example cable TV, music streaming, magazines and newspapers.

If you are not fully utilizing these subscriptions (or can live without them) then unsubscribe. You’re not getting your money’s worth. If you want to maintain the service look at lowering the subscription level (if available) or negotiate with your provider for a lower rate.

Little tweaks here and there will lessen your financial load without impacting hugely on your quality of life. The more aware you are of where your money is going the more in control you will feel and less the anxiety will weigh.

Ultimately, your focus needs to be the gorgeous little terrors who just upended your glass of wine whilst running through the house despite the fact that you’ve told them ten times in the last ten minutes to stop (and f#*k knows you need that wine!).

INTIMACYTV/MAY 15

Millionaire Mum

A bit about you and your business what is your big WHY? For a very long time I have worked on all sides of the fence with strategic and marketing partnerships with big scale loyalty programs in banking & airline and back in 2000 I saw the power of companies partnering up in a marketing and strategic capacity.

Especially smaller companies like Rose Only, red balloon, efragrance & direct wine etc. and saw the results and growth they had in their businesses they just couldn’t have achieved alone.

As a solo mum I realised to reach our full potential we don’t have all the resources ourselves so I really believe you need to have the right partners. What we do is help businesses to find the right partners and build the partnership capability to make them successful.

What gave you the inspiration to start your business?

It was a catalyst to begin with when I had an opportunity to build a partnership with a University. Who I worked for at the time wasn’t innovative or nimble enough to see the potential. So I joined forces with one of the most successful female entrepreneurs who used to run one of the biggest loyalty-marketing agency in the Asia Pacific. I took a leap of faith and things were not as scary as I had a partner and financial backing to go and start my own business.

What has been the biggest challenge for you being a mum in business? How did you overcome that?

How do you manage your time while juggling the business, family and your relationship?

Trying to have it all at the same time. Trying to juggle the demands of being a mum and trying to juggle the demands of having a business. Both require a lot of energy, resources, and focus. You learn to give yourself permission to say NO. You fear missing out and need to stop feeling guilty and realise that everything is not urgent and you must get your priority right. Its challenging but having right people around you and having your priorities really clear is essential.

What’s the turning point for you in your business to create your success?

Getting real was really important. In early days you think you can get the success super fast, much faster then others and reality is…it just takes time.

You need to 1. Don’t work with anyone you don’t trust. Listen to your gut and includes clients. Don’t be afraid to be astute businessperson.

2. Invest in a good contract. Don’t trust that people are just going to do the right thing.

3. Fire shitty clients and partners immediately (both personally and professionally). Use the Small Business Ombudsman if you need assistance.

What’s your typical day like?

5-7.15am My first work shift 7.30-8.30 Cook organic hot brekkie for my kids & drop them off to school 9.30-3pm Work 3.30pm School pick up and spend some time together before I do few more hours of work Early evening Crossfit 9.30pm Bedtime No TV or Facebook on phone. I discovered it wasn’t that important to be that connected all the time.

What’s the one thing you would have done differently?

Learn when to invest and when to pull out in business. Do your due diligence on people just like you would if your were dating someone. Also remember there are no mistakes so don’t beat yourself up.

Listen to your gut!

Do you think it’s easier or harder to be a mother now than when you were raising our family?

There are pros and cons to both. If I were a fulltime mum or a childless fulltime employee I’d go nuts.

Having work and kids has been great.

What was your scariest moment?

The first few times I went through cash flow strain. You start chewing into your nest egg. I had no money to put in my super. You need to be unemotional about business. You learn its part of business, you learn to ride the waves and that it’s going to be ok.

What was the proudest moment?

It’s actually happening now. I’m in final stage negotiations to rollout our course into Universities business school. I get a bit teary (good tears) when clients have a big win through their partnerships and take their businesses through these partnerships.

What do you believe to be the top qualities or traits of highly successful people?

A relentless drive to succeed. You need to have the attitude of abundance. There is plenty for everyone to go around. You don’t need to have your fingers in lots of pies. Just stay focused. The most successful people I know are really niched and really focused in an area of business.

3 best tips for mums in business?

1. Work out your No#1 priority and being firm on that!…Be relatively inflexible 2. Look after your health both mental and physical. Eat well and be physically active. Make sure your looking after yourself first.

3. Put the right people around you. You can’t know everything so find people you trust and aligned with are really going to support the growth of your business. Be honest with yourself. Is their a market for this, do I need to pivot my business. Don’t flog a dead horse!

About me?

I have two boys, one in primary and one finishing up high school and I have a much younger partner. Was completely unexpected! We ran out reasons not to be together other then our age gap. We have been together a few years now and it’s a good partnership. We complement each other and he is fantastic with the boys despite his youth.

My business At Partner2Grow we have 6-step system to help businesses to prepare partnership case building. We teach a strategic process and provide a community to assist people to find partnerships t grow their business. You can find out more on www.partner2grow.com

The most significant influence in my working career is?

Kim Harding was the founder of Pin Point Marketing. I worked with her from 22yrs till my early thirties. She was an amazing woman to work with and for and really shaped my career. She had a strong tribe and built an amazing organisation.

My advice I call entrepreneurship the Gold Rush of the modern day.

There are low barriers to entry and we are sold the laptop lifestyle on social media a lot and it looks easy. Don’t believe everything you hear, as there are plenty of people with over inflated marketing campaigns and stories. Do your research and go off referrals. Just remember the people who made all the money in the gold rush era were the people selling the tools not the people who were looking for the gold � If you weren’t doing this job what would you do instead?

I would definitely teach business.

What is your biggest dream?

Realise the full vision and potential of the business. To be in a position to step back and not be in the driving seat all the time. I would love to take a gap year with my eldest when he finishes school and travel around whether that’s here or overseas. I can’t wait to develop our property more as it’s my sanctuary so the boys have a man cave. Just enjoy more of life.

Simone Novello is Managing Director at Partner2Grow specialising in connecting the right partners, the right way for growth and resilience for over a decade.

Australia's leading JV and strategic alliance company www.partner2grow.com

EXPERT INTERVIEW

Why are you passionate about your purpose/mission, business/service?

It’s an extension of who I am. I get paid to bring myself to life-changing conversations that make a real difference. I love baring witness to peoples’ full potential being realised. I love seeing people set free from limiting beliefs and old patterns of behaviours and thinking that no longer serve them. I also love supporting people facing serious illness to conquer fear and live life fully.

Who can benefit from your service?

People who are committed to taking full responsibility for their future and their influence in the world. I work predominantly with executives and provide other services for those who seek to make improvements in their life.

What makes you/service/business unique (sets you apart from other people within your industry?

My life experiences, and my capacity to translate complex neuroscience principles into useful practices for work and whole of life application. Having survived cancer a few times now also sets me apart in a unique way – I’ve learned a lot of lessons and I’m very passionate to pass those lessons on

INTIMACYTV/MAY

Multi-Award Winning Coach (MCC) •International Speaker & Presenter Mindset, Resilience & Change Leadership Expert Lifestyle Author josiethomson.com

What are your clients key challenges? Ambition hurdles; relationship breakdowns; burnout, anxiety and stress are the top three challenges that come to mind.

And Why? Predominantly, mindset plays a huge role in these challenges. By sharing what I know about neuroscience 1.01 I’m able to assist clients to transform their thinking and as a result, transform their life.

How does what you do benefit our viewers? If they are serious about living a full, happy, vibrant, healthy and abundant life, and they want to take charge – I’m the person who can show them how.

Anything exciting coming up?

I’ve got plenty on the go. One project I’m working on is a potential television show which will showcase real people, real stories and real hope. Stay tuned! I’ve also recently launched an online on demand webinar 8-part series called You Are Not Your Brain. In conjunction with Dr Jeffrey M Schwartz, the world’s leading neuroscientist on OCD and neuroplasticity and mindfulness, this self-paced program teaches people step by step how to end bad habits, change unhealthy thinking and take control of your life. More info at: http://josiethomson.com/workshops/youarenotyo urbrain

About

Josie Thomson

What are you passionate about?

Life, learning and love. I also love nature and my children beyond compare.

A typical day begins with half hour meditation in front of my shrine, complete with candles, incense and mat. I will then journal for half hour, share my insights with my tribe on facebook and then take my two dogs for an hour-long nature walk where I feed turtles, ducks and eels. When I get back, I enjoy brekki with my children, pack lunches and then set off for a day delivering executive coaching sessions or neuroscience-based resilience workshops within corporations.

3 best tips

You can’t always control what happens to you, but you get to decide how you respond to it.

You always have choice.

YES you CAN, if you WANT to.

What is your biggest dream To touch very heart on this planet so that they know what it feels like to be loved, accepted, belong and they matter.

The most significant influence in my working career was/is Cancer! It was the pivot point in my life and career which enabled me to finally find my own truths and my own voice.

It catapulted me from Melbourne to Brisbane, accepting a promotion with BHP in the middle of treatment and fully trusting in my own path. Another significant influencer was Dr David Rock who introduced me to the world of Neuroleadership.

I’m most proud of I’m most proud of the life I lead today, what I’ve learned and how I’m dedicating my life to greater service to the betterment of humanity. I will deliver on my life’s promise!

One of the most memorable moments was One of the most memorable moments was when I flatlined after having a second surgery from my first dance with cancer. I actually got to experience ‘life beyond this life’ – it was surreal and truly beautifully serene. An aspect of my consciousness floated up above the ceiling looking down at my physical body in the hospital bed. I felt so peaceful and learned that suffering doesn’t happen when we die – it happens while we are alive AND we create it all!

Whats the biggest lesson you learned it would have to be that it’s not what happens to us that defines us, it’s how we respond that counts. Even when life feels crap and it feels like we can’t escape, we ALWAYS have choice. We get to decide how things or other people affect us. We must take responsibility not just for our happiness, but for our unhappiness too.

Whats the biggest challenge you face right now I’m wondering how best to shape my business so as to make a bigger impact and positive difference in the world. I’m thinking BIG and I need help to bring it to reality.

What I like best about my job I get to support others to think better and live better lives. I love it!

If you weren't doing this job what would you do instead?

Hmmm that’s a tough question as I absolutely love what I do. I would probably write a lot more and produce life-changing books to inspire people to live full, abundant, happy and healthier lives.

25 Reasons to Love Yourself Fully and Wholeheartedly JANE NGUYEN TRANSFORMATIONAL DATING & RELATIONSHIP COACH JANE@INTIMACYTV.COM.AU

"Loving yourself fully and wholeheartedly is one of the hardest things a human being can experience and it is an ongoing journey that never ends."

We are awesome at giving to everyone but ourselves. We are brilliant at having compassion and empathy for others, but we constantly beat ourselves up everyday. We constantly fear we are not enough, we are unworthy and unloved, thus we conform to the norms of society and try to ‘fit in’.

I know I’ve definitely been there and it wasn’t very pleasant. There have been so many occasions where I compromised my own identity, values, health, happiness etc just to feel accepted and to belong.

At 14 years of age, I got into an unhealthy relationship where I spent the next 6 years being abused physically and emotionally. Then I stayed in that relationship because I thought it was what I deserved.

During my teenage years, I starved myself to go from a size 10 to a size 6, because I thought I was ‘fat’. I based a lot of my self-esteem and self-worth on people’s acceptance and approval of me. I constantly sought attention and validation from others and felt depressed if I didn’t receive it. I had beaten myself up for making mistakes and for not being ‘perfect’.

Even if I succeeded in something, I still didn’t think it was good enough. Even when I got into a relationship that was loving and nurturing, I self sabotaged it because I believed I was unworthy.

Through many years in personal development, I’ve learnt to embrace my imperfections and love myself for who I am. I’ve learnt to let go of people’s expectations and only value what’s in my heart.

I’ve learnt to pick myself up every time I failed and to not criticise myself for being human and making mistakes.

I’ve learnt to look fear in the eyes, to push outside of my comfort zone and go after my goals and dreams. I’ve learnt to love my body and my curves, to accept my short button-nose, my flappy arms, my broad shoulders, my stretch-marks, cellulite and many more imperfections that make me uniquely ME. But if you are not convinced yet, let me share with you some reasons why it is an absolute MUST to love yourself, fully & wholeheartedly:

INTIMACYTV/MAY 20

1 If you don’t love yourself, how do you know how to love somebody else that way?

2

It’s your utmost responsibility to love yourself, because if you don’t, who will?

3

If you go into a relationship expecting someone to fill in your own ‘love tank’, you go in with an attitude to ‘get’.

When you fill in your own ‘love tank’, you go in there with an attitude of sharing.

4

You are beautiful, unique and amazing in your own ways. No one else can be like you. You are rarer than diamonds.

5

You can’t beat yourself up to be happy. You need to love yourself to be happy.

6

You have a massive impact on your children and the generations after. Your children will learn how to love and value themselves through your own example.

7

Your love, compassion and empathy can hugely impact this world that we live in and it must start with you.

8

Simply because you deserve the best of love in the world.

9

Learning to accept yourself fully will give you the freedom to explore, be creative, do amazing things and be that magnificent human being that you are.

10 Look at all of your successes you’ve achieved up to this point, what a great accomplishment. Did you know that back in the day of cave men and cave women, surviving each day was a huge achievement? Look at you, you are still here – alive.

11

All the mistakes you’ve made have shaped you into the person you are today. It wouldn’t have been the same without them.

12

Love yourself for the body that you are in. You only have 1 body, that’s it! Stop abusing it with drugs, alcohol or nasty junk food.

Treat it with the respect it deserves.

13

Your smile and your laugh can make someone else’s day.

14

Likes attract likes, lacks attract lacks. If you are filled with lots of love and happiness, you’ll attract positive and supportive people into your life.

15

You only live once, if you don’t use the time you’ve got left to love yourself, then when?

16

You are strong! You’ve been through tough times and challenges that you thought you couldn’t cope with.

17 You show up, everyday for your friends, family, your partner, colleagues, etc.

18

Your faith which gets you through the rough patches. Your belief that in the end, it’ll be ok (even when you’re not sure you really do believe).

19 Your story, your journey that makes you brave and inspiring.

20

Your perspective of the world, your sense of justice, your creative imagination, your sense of freedom and joy.

21 You are the everyday ‘superhero’ because you have been more than just a mum, dad, wife, husband, daughter, son, etc. you are all of that, and more.

22

Your beautiful emotions and feelings you express.

23

Your deep gratitude for life.

24 You are a survivor – one survivor amongst millions of semen that got released and died in the process.

25

You are simply magnificent, what more can I say?

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SHOP NOW! bit.ly/kegelexerciser INTIMACYTV/MAY 23

Love Yourself More (Often)

By Melina Macdonald Intimacy & Adult Product Lifestyle Educator, Author, Speaker, Dating & Sex Expert loveandindulgence.com.au Finally the countries largest study of sexual activity and attitudes, w has found that Australians have gone for more quality then quantity.

Conclusions by the University of NSW after interviewing more than 200,000 people showed it to be both a great and disappointing report.

This is the second Australian Study of Health and Relationships, and was great as the report founded that Australians are embracing more oral and experimental sex. Contraception methods we being embraced by the younger generation and Australian’s attitudes on promiscuous behaviour are highly consistent with their behaviour of staying sexual only within their regular relationship. Quality is now starting to rule.

Unfortunately figures showed that Australians, even though they are embracing a more open mind (and I believe that would have a lot to do with our change in television viewing and the phenomena created out of the 50 Shades of Grey book), are having sex less frequently.

Australian’s have changed their habits of having sex 1.8 times a week to 1.4.

1.8 times a week to me seemed a statistic known to the average married couple and is generally founded with the conclusion and belief that we have a more hectic lifestyle, but can we really put our reduction to this change?

Commonly people complain of living hectic and stressful lifestyles even though are drastic change in technology has removed that stress. Depression statistics have been on the rise and divorce rates have increased with it. The Richter’s report however covered one specific section I found fascinating on ‘sexual difficulty’.

So lets dig a little deeper into this portion of the survey for a moment. Professor Juliet Richter and her team has founded a few statistics that are shocking on one hand, and a common complaint I hear within many of my focus groups and workshops conducted, lack of interest.

Lack of interest took the top vote with a staggering 24.9% men, 54.8% women. Now, I hear this complaint a lot however the next statistic has a lot to do with this lack of interest. I believe this next statistic is why we have a decline in sex in our population, lack of orgasm.

Richter’s study reported “women were more likely that men to report being unable to come to orgasm, 28.6% vs. 6.3%”. That is a staggering statistic is unnecessary with todays Internet education.

INTIMACYTV/MAY 24

"I hear people complain about accessibility of porn today via the Internet. It does pose its issues offering a skewed perception of what ‘intimate sex’ looks like, however it is a great educational tool to learn how to perform a variety of sexual acts or how to expand your repertoire. So why are women still unsatisfied?"

Now even though 27.3% of women complained of not finding sex pleasurable or 20.3% experienced pain during intercourse, it’s two other statistics I believe we should be focusing on to increase our connection with sex.Show all their lumps and bumps with no digital or airbrush amendments. No makeup and hair done and looking even more average then the average woman! With this ‘raw’ imagery spread all over the media why are women still so paranoid about their bodies and ruled by it?

With 28.6% of women saying they cannot orgasm during sex then how is it that only 35% of women vs. the 65% of men have masturbated in the last year as per Richter’s.

Lets look at it from another perspective, 93.7% of men are saying they can orgasm during sex. Men masturbate more then women. This study showed that clearly with figures doubling the women’s.

Masturbation allows men to know their bodies better.

Now we know that a woman’s body is more complicated and every woman’s erogenous zones in the vaginal area work in different ways. But with 10 different kinds of orgasms possible for women as per Lou Paget, sex educator and author of “Orgasms How to have them, give them, and keep them coming”, why are women still complaining of not having them?

This is my favourite statement I use constantly, “If your not having sex with yourself, how do you expect anyone else to have sex with you?”

Masturbation allows a woman to know what turns her on. How to experience different kids of orgasms and most of all how to direct her partner to find her ‘sweet spots’. I mean our vaginas don’t come with a manual ladies!

With major Intimate Lifestyle Product manufacturer, Lelo showing reports that 40% of women own a vibrator, why have studies shown that only 14% of Australian women are actually owning one today.

Unfortunately porn and sex shops only promote adult toys to give a ‘guaranteed orgasm’ however it can be used as a tool to better ‘connect’ with yourself or someone else. “This is how I promote my Intimate Lifestyle Range”.

When a toy is introduced to the bedroom it not only increases the sense of adventure and trust, but the quality and duration of sex is improved and most importantly the communication.

When I come across men of a more mature age I found sex toys seemed to be a threat to their masculinity, “They believed that they were being ‘replaced’”.

Once I explain that there are amazing ‘couples’ toys’ on the market allowing him to not only satisfy his partner more, but keep ‘control’ thanks to the remotes provided, I found they would relax and ask “How much?”

Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and author of She Comes First states, “A large majority of women don’t orgasm consistently from intercourse alone, but when you add a sex toy or manual or oral stimulation —what I call ‘intercourse plus’— the statistics kind of flip on their heads.”

Now I haven’t even covered the long list of health benefits on experiencing an orgasm let alone how this denial of pleasure is connected to weight gain here. That’s for a whole other article.

So its time to remove the taboo around sex, toys and experimentation. Start masturbating or start doing it more often so you know how to please yourself and communicate that to your partner so you have the best excuse to start having sex more. Open that door to greater reasons to get naked by simply loving yourself ladies, seriously.

INTIMACYTV/MAY 25 Once you have done this, Go Forth and Fornicate more!

Shaming

Does this image offend you?

Well when I posted it on Social Media this is a PM Comment I received.

"Oh Debbie, there is no denying you look good in this photo, a photo which none of us should be looking at. It is sad that you are publicly focusing on your image and not your identity, as a woman and a serious business woman. Did you really intend to post this for all your business associates and would be associates to look at??

I won't go into the psychology behind what this post means, but I will say that it is sad to see this. Research the psychological reasons people purposefully post revealing pictures of themselves on social media for the whole world to see. You can never erase it now even if you delete it... it is on the web forever.

If you met an international client tomorrow, and you wanted them to see you as a serious business woman... they would absolutely do a background and web check on you, would you want them to see this?

Would they take you seriously after seeing you publicly showing your stomach rolls, undies, legs spread... is this the image you want for yourself?? The first photo in the dress was sensational, if only you hadn't felt the need to go this far. I have admired your determination to pave a path for yourself in the very difficult but lucrative world of beauty products and empowering women to believe in themselves... then you post this? We all have self-esteem issues stemming from one trauma or another, it is just sad to see all your hard work over the years reduced to this photo of yourself in underwear.

Debbie Majella Nolan, Founder Designer Women Australia and launching “REINVENT YOURSELF” Workshops for Women.

By now you are thinking that I am just berating you and being nasty, but it is designerwomenaustralia.com.au the total opposite, you have always impressed me and I was shattered to see you post this. I wish you only the best and hope that you get the epiphany of this. You can hate me if you want, makesno difference at all to the fact that you have done this, read up on it, don't take my word for it. Xx Oh Debbie, there is no denying you look good in this photo, a photo which none of us should be looking at. It is sad that you are publicly focusing on your image and not your identity, as a woman and a serious business woman. Did you really intend to post this for all your business associates and would be associates to look at??

I won't go into the psychology behind what this post means, but I will say that it is sad to see this.

Research the psychological reasons people purposefully post revealing pictures of themselves on social media for the whole world to see. You can never erase it now even if you delete it... it is on the web forever. If you met an international client tomorrow, and you wanted them to see you as a serious business woman... they would absolutely do a background and web check on you, would you want them to see this? Would they take you seriously after seeing you publicly showing your stomach rolls, undies, legs spread... is this the image you want for yourself?? The first photo in the dress was sensational, if only you hadn't felt the need to go this far. I have admired your determination to pave a path for yourself in the very difficult but lucrative world of beauty products and empowering women to believe in themselves... then you post this? We all have self-esteem issues stemming from one trauma or another, it is just sad to see all your hard work over the years reduced to this photo of yourself in underwear. By now you are thinking that I am just berating you and being nasty, but it is the total opposite, you have always impressed me and I was shattered to see you post this. I wish you only the best and hope that you get the epiphany of this. You can hate me if you want, makes no difference at all to the fact that you have done this, read up on it, don't take my word for it. Xx " MY Story, Looking fabulous at 57 years young.

‘REINVENT YOURSELF’ my journey started January 2014 when I had an ‘AFFAIR’. I was in a marriage with NO passion, love, respect and I was miserable. So I had “BEST LOVE AFFAIR” with myself and still am today 22nd April 2017.

I realised that NO man can fill my LOVE tank, only I can do this and a man will top it up.

Each day when I wake up my mind turns on to an “I am alive, I am alert and I feel great". I PUSH myself to step up in business, market the many elements of my business with no hand out from anyone. Not many businesses last 2 years and MY skincare company has been online for 10 years!

How to Sail Through Menopause Without HRT in 4 Simple Steps Mary-Lou Proud Exclusive distributor Cool-jams Australia cool-jams.com.au As an Oncology Nurse, I find the area of Menopause one of the all time toughest areas to navigate when making a decision on how to relieve symptoms. I have talked to experts and dove deep with the latest research to produce the 4 simple steps to help you survive the change. I work with Specialists, have sought out their advice and have heard many and varied opinions on how to approach menopause.Some women sail through the menopause, but for others ‘the change’ can be extremely tough, physically and emotionally That’s because the drop in oestrogen not only causes classic menopause symptoms such as hot flushes, but it can also increase the risk of serious longer-term health problems such as osteoporosis.

The hormone Oestrogen has a protective effect on the bones, and with declining levels that protection is removed. Oestrogen also protects the heart.But before we go on, let me tell you a bit more about my Menopause story.

My personal story began the day I made the decision not to go on HRT. I didn’t want to increase my risk of Breast Cancer, so I went further afield and found bio-identical hormones(natural therapies), or are they? The compounding pharmacies all claim the safety of such drugs, but I was a bit concerned when my G.P wanted to prescribe a low dose of oestrogen given the risk factors with my family history. I spoke to 3 different G.P’s on the topic, and each one said there really was very little research in the area of Bio-identical hormones, while others proclaim it to be safe as houses.

This really didn’t help with my solution to the dreaded night sweats, mood swings and general aches and pains.

According to our Medical Oncologists, the latest research does indicate it is ok to take HRT, but no longer than 5 years, that is, if you don’t have a History of Breast cancer, or risk of heart disease or DVT. I soon learnt there were many others like me that wanted to look for a more natural approach to symptom relief. Not everyone is keen to take HRT or other medications to get relief from the dreaded menopause symptoms.It really is possible to alter some lifestyle changes that reduce hot flushes and other symptoms without a prescription… Not only that, it can improve your overall health.

I have made these changes easy to incorporate anywhere and anytime with no major impact on your day to day living. Simple lifestyle changes not only reduces the severity of symptoms— but we can get an early start on protecting ourselves against bone and joint problems, heart disease and breast cancer to mitigate future risk.’ A natural menopause is an ideal to aim for and this of course is aided by natural foods – as nature intended- and not interfered with by human beings who refine and process the goodness from our foods.

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1. Let’s start with number one – Food.

I know we have heard it all before, but DIET does MATTER. Simple, yet effective: Many specialists believe that switching to a healthy diet is the most effective thing you can do to reduce the impact menopause has on your life – both now and in the future.

A healthier diet can reduce hot flushes and night sweats. Several studies have found Women who cut their fat intake and increased their consumption of fruit, vegetables and wholegrains improved their symptoms, with some banishing flushes and sweats. The basic rules for a menopause diet are essentially common sense: have at least five portions of fruit and vegetables a day; most of your grains should be wholegrains; and keep sugar, fizzy drinks, coffee and alcohol to a minimum.

"If nothing else really try and avoid these… Caffeine, alcohol and spicy foods. All 3 will definitely increase hot flushes… " Ok, so these are our favourite past times. I used to have 3 coffee’s before 10, and now I’m down to 1 and this has made a huge difference…So, at least reduce one of the above. One of the most dramatic post menopausal problems is osteoporosis- decreased calcium retention in the bones.So what’s the single biggest stimulus to keep calcium in your bones?

2. Exercise or simply take your bones for a walk, or walk/jog around the block often.

Remember once you’ve hit the age of 32, if you’re not banging your bones on the ground every 48 hours, the calcium is leaving says Dr. John Tickell, Cool-jams Australia Ambassador.

Weight bearing exercise is an absolute must- no excuses.Walking, walking/jogging, ball sports and lifting weights. Go to the gym or simply buy your own dumb-bells weighing 2 or 3 kg. The benefits of exercise compound and you will feel sharper, more energetic and younger.

You don’t have to do the New York Marathon…. Really try and do at least 5 minutes here and there, as long as it adds to 30 minutes a day.

Just walking or doing the gardening is a super activity that can get you moving.

Make sure it is something you enjoy, and you will maintain it for good. Running and walking can actually increase calcium uptake according to Dr. John Tickell.

Your body only slows down if you allow it to do that. According to Dr. John Tickell, attitude can be the strongest weapon here. Cultural differences are interesting. Many women in far flung communities literally take menopause in their stride.

Regular activity patterns continue, working in the fields does not cease, intake of plant foods, fish and soy are the same and weight gain is not an issue as there is no “slowing down”.

There is endless research showing the benefits of Yoga for Hot Flushes and Night Sweats.

Not only will it increase your flexibility and strength, it will also quieten your mind and lower stress levels. There are so many yoga exercises on line to check out… and specifically for menopause.

I personally like Yoga that controls your breathing with exercise.. I personally have been doing these poses for the last few months, and if nothing else noted a definite improvement with my clarity. http://www.prevention.com/fitness/yoga/10-yoga-poses-to-relieve-menopause-symptoms 3. This leads me into Meditation.

I cannot begin to tell you how helpful meditation has been for me with challenges in life…

For me, dealing with hot flushes has been one of the major challenges, and I have found meditation to be one of the most effective practices that has helped with reducing hot flushes.

I have a free downloadable cd specific for women going through menopause… It works wonders.

4. Dealing With Insomnia During Menopause and Perimenopause If you’re going through menopause, you may have noticed that your body is having a more difficult time than usual getting to sleep and staying asleep.That’s in part because your body is reducing the production of the vital sleep-producing hormones estrogen and progesterone. Additionally, the menopausal body regularly releases random surges of adrenaline, which can limit your ability to calm the brain enough to get back to sleep.

The National Sleep Foundation found that insomnia often occurs during perimenopause, the period of transition into menopause.That means that insomnia is one of the earliest signs of menopause, usually experienced by women in their late 30s and 40s.

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Another common culprit of menopause-related insomnia is hot flushes. These surges of adrenaline produce sweat and create a change in temperature that can pull you out of sleep and affect your ability to fall asleep early in the night.

So what can I do with Insomnia During Menopause?

One of the simplest things you can do to help your body stay cool during menopause is to invest in a pair of wicking sleepwear.

Cool-jams Australia™ moisture-wicking pyjamas are a global brand of sleepwear designed especially for this. These menopause pyjamas help you get to sleep and stay asleep by regulating the body’s natural temperature and keeping you cool and dry during the most disruptive hot flushes. Our sleepwear is made from a lightweight, proprietary fabric that draws all the moisture and heat away from your body. It dries quickly, too, so you’ll wake up feeling fresh.

Once you’ve picked up a pair of menopause-friendly pyjamas, you can do a few simple things to ensure that you get a quality night’s rest no matter what. Create a cool and soothing sleep environment with darkening curtains and run a fan or air conditioner, if possibleIf you have intense hot flushes, you may benefit from keeping a cloth and a bucket of ice near your bed to help cool the body. Cool-jams australia™ innovative pyjamas are highly rated by women going through menopause.

If you believe HRT can help you through hot flushes and night sweats the decision to begin this type of therapy should not be taken lightly.

Discuss it with one, two or three health professionals and evaluate the risks and benefits.I hope these natural steps might help you to decrease the symptoms of your menopause like it has for mine.

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Before Transition it was try this one, try that one ( all natural of course) , no results. Hot Flushes, moody, can't think, can't make decisions, Grrh. Finally found something that works. Can't live without it & I won't."

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INTIMACYTV/MAY

Daily Breast Massage Regime 1. Down on the outside, Up on the inside 28x (clears negativity and blockages in the breasts) 2. Up on the outside, Down on the inside 28x (builds loving, buzzing, alive energy into the breasts) 3. Jiggle them 1minute (bra-less attention) 4.Embrace lovingly 1-3 minutes (send loving messages to your breasts) * Breasts are where women love from, they are the activation place for pussy pleasure and the breasts generate compassion. Nurture your relationship to your beautiful breasts. * It is common and normal for the breast to become a bit larger with regular practice * It's normal to have tender breasts for 1-2 weeks when first beginning breast massage. If very tender, do only 14x for #2 to bring less energy to the breasts. You may need to clear more from the breasts for a while.

You're not going crazy... it's menopause!

Top 40 Â Perimenopausal Symptoms

1.Hot Flashes 2.Cold flashes 3. Night Sweats 4. Clammy Feeling 5.Heart Palpitations 6. Irritability 7. Modd Swings 8.Trouble Sleeping 9. Irregular periods 10.Low sex drive 11.Dry vagina 12.Fatigue 13.Anxiety 14.Deepression 15.Lack of cous 16.Poor concentration 17.Faulty memory 18.Incontinence 19.Itchy, crawly skin 20.Achy joints, muscles

21.Tense muscles 22.Sore breasts 23.Headaches 24.Digestive issues 25.Bloating 26.Allergies worsen 27.Weight Gain 28. Hair Loss 29.More facial hair 30.Dizziness 31.Vertigo 32.Changed body odour 33.Electric shock feelings 34.Tingling extremities 35.Bleeding gums 36.Burning tongue/ roof of mouth 37.Chronic bad breath 38.Osteoporosis 39.Weakened fingernails 40.Ringing ears (tinnitus)