By Allison Okuneye
THE CHALLENGE: replace criticism for encouragement for 7 whole days. Earlier this week I had a moment in a conversation where I had a choice. I consciously thought, I don’t really need to share this negativity, the person I am talking to doesn’t even know the parties involved...and as fast as I had that thought, I threw it out of my mind and shared anyways. I didn’t feel good about it. I had actually paused, had the moment, considered stopping myself, and then still shared the negativity. It was an intentional choice. And it felt icky. I have always believed that you attract the energy that you put out. The phrase misery loves company started before I got here! But what
if, just for 7 days we chose something different. The truth is, one snide comment did not hurt anything, our conversation and life moved on quickly. I could make myself feel better by consoling myself and saying I’m not that bad...there are waaay worse people in the world but the truth is I don’t want to compare myself to the worst version of society, rather strive for the best version of myself! I challenge us to try and change our big and little thoughts, and the way we show up in casual conversations to see if we notice a difference in the way we feel, but also how it impacts those closest to us. So are you up for the challenge?
criticism is EASY, and devastating.
the secret is, you have to actually try.
When it comes to conversations with others resist the urge to correct or be critical. If you find it hard and don’t want to be fake, silence is always acceptable. You don’t have to chime in or add when a friend is gossiping. If someone pronounces a word wrong or misspeaks in a meeting, you don’t have to interrupt to correct them. If your spouse forgets something on the way to soccer practice, don’t spend the whole drive harping on about it. Pause, and see if you can find a way to encourage or support that person and turn the conversation into a more positive direction. You might be surprised at the change in your relationships when you choose to encourage and support instead of tearing someone down. It might change your marriage, your work environment, and your relationship with your kids.
This 7 day challenge is not going to be easy, but I promise it will be worth it. We have to stop giving ourselves excuses for bad behavior. We are tearing each other down with our words, and too often not putting any effort into building them up. I have seen first hand how that mindset can ruin every level of relationships. If you truly care about those in your circle, you will keep trying to be the best version of yourself. Every critical thought does not need to be given air.
12 November | December 2022
we've got this. day one starts today. In a time when we share every opinion, vacation, breakfast, and bowel movement with the world it takes maturity and self control to know that not every thought needs to be said. We don’t realize the damage we are doing to others, but also the effect on us internally. The world could use more encouragement, and the people closest to us DEFINITELY can too.
