Exchanged News December 2014

From The Phinney Family & IOM AMERICA

DECEMBER 2014

I Can’t Scramble Eggs Without Jesus

Jane Phinney

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t was in the late 80’s. Steve & I had undertaken the daunting task of starting a discipleship ministry for the first time. I had a baby & two young daughters. In addition to school demands & church involvement, I was the ministry bookkeeper. The pace had done me in. I was burned out…fizzled, fried, and kaput! So my beloved husband sent me away for the weekend, to Denver, to stay with our mentor friends, Keith & Judy. Their basement apartment was a welcomed refuge for any soul! You Moms know how hard it is to leave the little kiddos behind, with anyone…even their dad. It just felt strange! But Steve was determined to make this happen. So I went… with his blessing.

I don’t recall all of the specifics about that weekend. But I do remember a relaxing Jacuzzi tub, hours of talking & sharing, extended time in the Word, and FABULOUS food. Judy is a very gifted artist and an excellent cook! So it took me off guard when she said what she did. We were at the breakfast table, discussing Christ’s finished work on the Cross & our new identity in Him because of His victory over sin & death. She declared, “I can’t scramble eggs without Jesus.” I think I stopped chewing! I just looked down at my gourmet breakfast:

beautifully plated fluffy eggs, crispy bacon, raspberry-topped cream cheese blintzes, & fresh fruit. You’re kidding me, right?? I just looked at her in disbelief. I mean, I had the evidence sitting in front of me. Clearly, she knew how to scramble eggs plus a whole lot more!! I just didn’t get it.

It took quite a few years before I started to grasp the Biblical meaning behind Judy’s words. It’s one thing to understand something in your head. But it’s an altogether different story to own the Truth in your heart where it becomes your living passion. That day, Judy sowed seeds that awakened a desire in me. I saw her intimacy with the Father, through Jesus Christ & it exposed the void in my spiritual life. I wanted more. Over the past 20 years, I have repeatedly said to my 3 daughters, “I get it now. I know what Judy meant. I really CAN’T scramble eggs without Jesus!”

So what made the difference? How was this truth massaged into the fiber of my relationship with my heavenly Father?

Hardship, emotional suffering, disappointment….the words most of us would rather not hear. God used it all to show me, & to come to a place of agreement with Him, that no good thing dwells in my flesh (Rom 7:18). He wants to work in me to accomplish His will & to give Him pleasure (Phil 2:13), a supernatural possibility only because I have been crucified with Christ. The life that I now live in my human body on earth, I live by faith in Jesus Christ alone, who loved me & died for me. (Gal 2:20) I am reconciled to God, in relationship, through Christ’s death. I am saved experientially in my daily living by His life. (Rom 5:10). Amazingly, the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead, indwells every true believer & gives life to our mortal body. Therefore, we aren’t obligated to respond to sinful, selfish fleshly impulses or passions. (Rom 8:9-12) Jesus became sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Cor 5:21) Now THAT’S a new identity!!!!

Unlike the old game show, Let’s Make A Deal, there is no third door. My choices/deeds are either a result of Christ’s life flowing through & out of me OR, they are likened to discarded filthy rags --motivated by SELF-ishness & me trying to prove that I’m somebody. I am either fearing God or fearing man. I am either focused on Christ, or inadvertently, trapped by the enemy. Therefore, my fruit either brings glory to God (the real deal) or it’s fake, plastic, self-empowered fruit that, in the end, leaves me empty and finds the enemy of my soul laughing, mocking, & accusing. It’s worthless in light of eternity.

I have learned this applies to everything I do. From my smallest gesture, to what I might consider a great accomplishment, God is after my heart….wholly & totally yielded to the movement of the Holy Spirit in any given moment. “I must decrease in the futility of my self-effort SO THAT He can increase in His total expression through my life.” (My paraphrase of John 3:30) This is sanctification. There is HUGE FREEDOM in not having to measure up to perceived standards, both those imposed by others & those you put on yourself.

On July 12, 2013, was a defining day in life, as I knew it. I was home alone, following my doctor’s instructions for a sudden onslaught of lower back pain. (I hadn’t felt this in 10 years, prior to my hip replacements.)

Outside of an overly busy entertaining schedule, I hadn’t done anything unusual. In a brief but agonizing 60 seconds, I had a spasm that encompassed my entire leg from my hip down to my foot. I literally cried out, “Oh help me God! I don’t know what to do. PLE-E-EASE God!” I was leaning over the bed, unable to move. It felt like a long time & I actually considered that I would rather be having a baby, than feel these electrical pain surges. When it was over, I crawled up on the bed & propped pillows under my knees. That’s when I noticed my foot. “What’s up with this? My foot feels dead. I can’t move it.”

Here I am, December 2014, 16 months later. The “jury” is still out as to the specific cause of my drop foot. But, the majority consensus is that my back is probably not the source since I don’t live with pain. After my initial weekend ER visit, 12 + sessions of disc decompression therapy, MYK therapy, & $4000 out-of-pocket expenses, I’m pretty much the same place I started….internal numbness in toes, the inability to flex my foot up, and a serious limp. I’m still trying different braces for varying needs. I’m always watching for shoes that work. The only uncharted territory is the possibility IOM New Hope Staff

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of a tendon transfer—a most unlikely $14,300 (discounted) scenario in our cash budget, barring a complete miracle of God! So why am I sharing this? WHAT’S THE POINT HERE? My body has changed but my God has NOT! He remains, as always, in loving pursuit of my heart….wholly & totally yielded to the movement of the Holy Spirit, in any given moment.

My foot is a very practical expression of the truth that “I can’t scramble eggs without Jesus.” Words fail to describe what has gone on between me and my Heavenly Father the past year. A myriad of thoughts & struggles have been processed in my devotional corner. Life has simplified as I’ve adjusted to things I can’t do, with ease, any longer. Trivial goals have slipped into oblivion, unnoticed, as daily tasks take longer to complete. Adjusting hasn’t been easy. I remember the feeling when one of my well-meaning grandchildren announced, “Oma can’t do that anymore.” It was true. But being “benched” in certain areas of life still hurts. One nerve…….wow! We ARE fearfully & wonderfully made. God knows it. And I see it differently now. Our bodies are brimming with lessons in dependency on Him. We often seek God, more passionately, when ejected out of our comfort zones. The past year has been an uncomfortable experience of deeper depths of death, to self—physically, emotionally & relationally. Life goes on, like it or not. We don’t always get the luxury of processing, completely, before another crisis hits. We packed our home during my therapy, waited out 4 changes in closing dates during the 2013 government shut-down, & finally moved into our first Kansas-owned home on December 28. Steve officiated at 3 funerals in 5 months— 14 year old Carlos succumbed to lifelong effects of EB in November; 28 year old Ben slept into the arms of Jesus, at home, from a reaction to medication changes, in March; on April 20, Resurrection Sunday, we were notified that my brother, John, had passed away at home from heart issues. (We were in Iowa for a week) Our small church fellowship moved to a new location in June. The icing on the cake came in August when our kids, Quintin & Abi, and 6 “grands”, moved to Missouri in 6, fast & furious, weeks to take a new job. All of us are adjusting to those changes. Eight family members absent from all of our traditions has been a little shocking, strange, and sad. Tears have been shed in both states. Being a grandparent is a deeply spiritual experience to us. It’s not about indulging children. It’s about passing along a heritage of faith. Recently, another Mom/Grandma summed up her feelings when she shook her head & said, “I like my chicks close by.” She understands my heart. So though we are meeting the long distance challenges with letters, texting pictures, and continued classical book readings via speaker phone, I’m thankful to still have a few chicks around the “henhouse.”

Please be in prayer for our finances.

It has been particularly challenging this year. We accrued $10k in medical expenses between my foot & Steve’s dental work—implants & crowns. With our monthly support at 50%, we have absolutely no buffer whatsoever. So for the first time in 8 years, we are in debt…a little disheartening in that, we can live on less with no debt. That being said, it’s no small miracle that our medical bill is down to $4k. It has always been our policy to pay office expenses first, then salaries. Since we don’t have designated donor dollars for overhead, it comes out of our salary account. You would think that after 30+ years on support, we would be used to this. But I can honestly say, I/ we are not. Maybe it’s because we’re growing older and feel more vulnerable. Maybe it’s because we’re more realistic in the face of some harsh realities the past few years.

Although surprising to some folks, we often feel uncertain in the wait, sometimes downright scared, like anyone else. I frequently pray, “I believe, Lord. Please help my areas of unbelief.” Our greatest challenge is trying to live on a regular budget when we have no idea what our monthly salary will be. SO, please pray we keep looking to the Lord….not to who, or at what, is around us. Pray also that God would raise up NEW monthly supporters. (Appeals, in the mail, are a dime-adozen. I get that.) This is His work. We are powerless to make it happen.

I realize this might seem an unusual Annual Update. But these lessons have been pressing on my heart for over a year. I hope & pray that as you celebrate the babe in the manger this Christmas, you come full circle to embrace your true identity in Christ—made available to you when He took on the full consequences of your sin, in His suffering on the Cross. In exchange, He offers you His righteousness & the amazing gift of an intimate relationship with your Heavenly Father. As I shared previously, it’s all about Him! Not us. Our story for His glory. Go tell it!

With praise to God, and thankful hearts for your involvement in our lives, we want to wish you a blessed “Christ-as-Life” Christmas celebration!

In His love—The Phinney's 3

Order of Pictures: Brie, Wyatt, Eason family, Jane with Zion, Zion, Montana, Jess & Jane, Libby & Nathan, Libby/ Abby/Jess, Steve with Logan, Jane/Steve and Tori; Grace/ Wyatt, and Phoebe.

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