VOL 5 ISSUE 40 • FREE
PETER BJORN AND JOHN CULT MUSICALS Bouncing Souls
tel: 514-389-9495
TABLE OF CONTENTS 10 Editor’s Letter The editor’s letters were way better two years ago. 11 ION the Prize 12 Of the Month Movie’s about hippies in hiding, a Lady Dutch fashion show, insane t-shirts and a dog with weird eyes. 46 Tales of Ordinary Madness Sam is critical of fashion. Keep in mind he once wore a hockey jersey for a month straight without washing. 47 Horoscopes Dandi Wind is dark, mysterious and insanely talented but can she read the stars? Sure, why not. 48 The Perry Bible Fellowship
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ART 14 Books about Tape Summer reads for the musically inclined.
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FASHION 16 Rewind Forward thinking fashion. 18 Neu Rave This month’s fashion editorial shot by Rino Noto and styled by Costa Pavlou.
FILM 26 The Joy of Cult Musicals Our gayest article ever.
MUSIC 34 I mmaculate Machine Further evidence there’s a lot more going on in Victoria than political corruption, wax museums and afternoon tea. 38 Peter Björn and John When you hear people whistling this summer it’s because of this song, not your trashy bathing suit. Get over yourself. 40 Bouncing Souls Good Epitaph punk that appeals to more than teenage Warped Tour mall rats. 42 Poster Art: Doublenaut Not to be confused with Dreadnoughts, Iron Man’s robotic nemeses. 44 Album Reviews
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Volume 5 Number 5 Issue 40 Publisher
Vanessa Leigh vanessa@ionmagazine.ca
Editor in Chief Michael Mann editor@ionmagazine.ca Arts & Culture Editor Jennifer Selk jen@ionmagazine.ca Fashion Editor Vanessa Leigh fashion@ionmagazine.ca Acting Film Editor Michael Mann film@ionmagazine.ca Music Editor Bryce Dunn bryce@ionmagazine.ca Copy Editors Agata Zurek Editorial Interns Patricia Matos Photo Editor Art Director Associate Art Director Design Assistant
Fiona Garden photos@ionmagazine.ca Danny Fazio danny@ionmagazine.ca Erin Ashenhurst erin@ionmagazine.ca Leslie Ma leslie@ionmagazine.ca
Advertising Jenny Goodman jenny@ionmagazine.ca Advertising Accounts Manager Natasha Neale natasha@ionmagazine.ca Contributing Writers: David Bertrand, Robin Bougie, Dandi Wind, Robert Dayton, Amanda Farrell, Christina Gray, Filmore Mescalito Holmes, Robert Jamieson, Sam Kerr, Marielle Kho, Emily Khong, Adrian Mack, Patricia Matos, Trevor Risk, Adam Simpkins, Adam O. Thomas, Amber Turnau, Natalie Vermeer Contributing Photographers & Illustrators: Toby Marie Bannister, Trevor Brady, Danny Fazio, Nicholas Gurewitch, Kris Krüg, Jason Lang, Jeremy Van Nieuwkerk, Rino Noto, Tyler Quarles, Mike Shantz ION is printed 10 times a year by the ION Publishing Group. No parts of ION Magazine may be reproduced in any form by any means without prior written consent from the publisher. ION welcomes submissions but accepts no responsibility for the return of unsolicited materials. All content © Copyright ION Magazine 2006 Hey PR people, publicists, brand managers and label friends, send us stuff. High-resolution jpegs are nifty and all, but it’s no substitute for the real thing. Clothing, liquor, iPhones, CDs, vinyl, DVDs, video games, and a Wii can be sent to the address below. We’re serious about the Wii. 3rd Floor, 300 Water Street. Vancouver, BC, Canada. V6B 1B6 Office 604.696.9466 Fax: 604.696.9411 www.ionmagazine.ca feedback@ionmagazine.ca Cover Photography: Fiona Garden Model: Becky from You Say Party! We Say Die!
EDITOR’S LETTER ION THE PRIZE OF THE MONTH
Back in the Day Words Michael Mann Photography Toby Marie Bannister
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A friend was enthusiastically telling me about a concert he attended at a rather large venue.“They were unreal, man. Have you ever heard of these guys?” he asked. “Why yes my good friend,” I replied, “I am very much aware of this band you so enjoyed. In fact, I saw them back in the day, at a much smaller venue before they started to suck.” I used to hate people like me. But now that I am what I hate, I’ve learned to enjoy being a complete jerk. I stop listening to a band as soon as their sound is polished and they can draw a crowd that consists of people other than their friends. I refuse to purchase a band’s album unless it’s on vinyl, crudely labeled CD-R, or 8-track. I only go to live shows where it’s a band playing their first gig ever. These shows take place at venues you can’t find and the music is un-listenable. It’s great. Ideally, I like to sit in on that initial discussion where a group of people in a bar scribbles a manifesto about how they want to change the world with their music on a paper napkin. After I witness that,
I wish the band well in their future endeavours and I’m over them. These days it’s easy for aspiring musicians to record professional sounding demos in their bathrooms with a five-year-old laptop. A band can make a CD for a few hundred dollars that is better than anything a big label puts out. Unknown local bands get signed to labels in Japan and get bookings in Europe with little more than a MySpace page. “This is complete bullshit,” I said to my friend. “You’d think the same if you were around back in the day.” Back in the day tends to be glamourized by people who were around back in the day. I will let you in on a little secret, back in the day was awesome and I’m sorry you weren’t there. Computers were slower, iPods were non-existent, you had to pay for music and the internet was so new, people still capitalized the “I” in it. If you wanted to hear a song, you had to wait for it to come on the radio. If you wanted to hear that song again, you bet-
ter have recorded it on your tape player. Oh, the joy of listening to a tape that has inane radio DJ chatter on it. I explained to my friend that I dream of traveling back in time to when the first caveman made a beat by banging a rock with a wild boar’s bone. Sure it doesn’t sound that great but that’s not the point.The point is that I am there among cavemen and cavewomen, standing against the cave walls stroking their chins. Ironically, these cavefolk have less hair on their chins than most people you see at avant-garde shows of similar ilk today. After I finished my speech, my friend promptly punched me in the face. I had it coming. So if some clown launches on a similar tirade to you, I encourage you to do the same. But feeling the sting of his fist was worth it, as he knew I was better than him. People punched harder back in the day anyway.
zeha Photography Trevor Brady The prize this month is a selection shoes courtesy of Zeha. This East Berlin footwear company has a rich history of outfitting Olympic athletes and hipsters on the other side of the iron curtain. Then the wall came down and we outfitted them with Nikes, Adidas and Reeboks. Oh well. The upside is we’re now able to enjoy these stylish and comfortable sneakers. Go to www.ionmagazine.ca and click on contests to enter. Model Heloise (Talentco) Hair & Make-up Dana Mooney Hair & Make-up Kendra Jasper Assisting Emilia Pelech
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EDITOR’S LETTER ION THE PRIZE OF THE MONTH ION MAGAZINE 12
fashion show lady dutch
Contributor Agata Zurek
Shirt Flying Coffin
It’s never too early to get ready for fall. You can get a leg up on everyone else by checking out Lady Dutch’s ’07 fall line that be showing across the country this summer. Mark your calendars with the following dates: June 20 in Vancouver (at Celebrities) June 28 in Toronto (at London) July 4 in Montreal (at Opera) July 26 in Calgary (TBD) Only people on the list will be getting in so RSVP to Marilyn Therrien mtherrien@ladydutch.com
Agata moved here from Poland when she was a kid and since then has been so obsessed with passing herself off as a native English speaker that she tricked us into making her our copy editor. She is a self-proclaimed hedonist who likes eating, drinking and sports. We don’t really know how correcting our shitty grammar fits into her hedonistic lifestyle but we’re not complaining. She also loves her bike and doesn’t own a television. This has led us to suspect that she might be a Luddite. Photo by Kris Krüg
Remember when you were young and rockin’ Hypercolor shirts? They were the best. Until you put them in the dryer and ruined them. Then came glow-in-the-dark shirts. They were also the best. Until you put them in the dryer and ruined them. Now that you’re sort of an adult, you’re too old for these kinds of shirts. Not so fast though, check out this shirt from Flying Coffin with 3M ink on it. 3M ink is photosensitive. What that means is when you’re minding your own business with your friends at a club and some jackass walks up and takes your photo for their fashion blog, this shirt will light up when the flash hits it and ruin the photo. Genius. Probably best not to put it in the dryer though. www.flyingcoffin.com Photo by Kris Krüg
pet piper
Before Hugo Weaving was Agent Smith in the Matrix trilogy, Guy Pearce was no-memory guy in Memento and after Terrence Stamp was Zod in Superman 2, they were all drag queens in The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Needing a break from big city life in Sydney, the three christen a Greyhound bus Priscilla and embark on a road trip to perform a drag show in the middle of the Australian desert. Three bitchy drag queens on a bus driving through the Australian outback, how can you go wrong? This reissue is the Extra Frills Edition which features a director’s commentary, deleted scenes, bloopers reel and a making of featurette. The one frill we’d like to see is an outtake where Weaving utters the line “Mr. Anderson, have you ever considered losing that drab trench coat and going with something a bit more colourful?”
DVD Monkey Warfare Two hippies from the ‘Couve (Don McKellar and Tracy Wright) are involved in a firebombing incident gone horribly wrong. So they move out to Toronto and live “off the grid.” To get by, they steal bikes and sell goodies they find in garbage cans and at garage sales on eBay. Everything is going fine until their pot source dries up. Enter a perky young pot dealer (Nadia Litz) with some radical ideas of her own, which reignites McKellar’s long dormant libido. Don’t let the fact that this is an ultra low-budget film turn you off. Director Reg Harkema has made the best Canadian film we’ve seen in ages. Worth watching just for Don McKellar’s fu manchu. Worth listening to just for the soundtrack. Check out myspace.com/flowerpowerisdead for a great deleted scene where Flick Harrison teaches you how to make a Molotov cocktail, en français!
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“Hey little wolf dog, forgive me if this isn’t very tactful but what’s the deal with your eye?” “Oh, it’s a contact lens. I’m just impersonating Cillian Murphy in Red Eye.” ”That’s a pretty obscure movie reference for a dog.” “What are you talking about? That movie grossed almost $100 million worldwide in theatres alone.” “True enough. So what else is up? “Not much. I’m just getting ready to leap off the page and lick your face. I might sniff you a bit to make sure you aren’t holding out on any snacks.” Send your animal pictures to pet@ionmagazine.ca. If we use your picture we’ll give you a prize that pales in comparison to having your pet immortalized in print.
DVD Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
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books on tApe
as narrated by Ion Words Jen Selk
FILM MUSIC ION MAGAZINE 14 16
Factory Records: The Complete Graphic Album by Matthew Robertson
Accidental Revolution: The Story of Grunge by Kyle Anderson
This is an almost purely graphic book, with little written information to speak of. It’s all about the art of album covers. What’s great about it is that it’s engaging, even if you’re not interested in music and not interested in books. It’s the sort of thing you’d buy in a gallery gift shop, good for a flip through, good for a gift and great as a conversation starter or as a colourful inspirational source. If anything, much like the Art of the Band T-Shirt, Factory Records will serve to prove that a band can pretty much slap on any kind of graphic to their merch and call it art. Consider the possibilities: One day one of your drunken scrawls could end up in a book like this, you’ve just gotta hook up with a young Tony Wilson wannabe.
Any book that starts off by saying how much Guns N’ Roses’ Use Your Illusion sucked has potential. Expect to bask in self-satisfied agreement all the way through, or to feel gripped by a nostalgiafuelled, angry righteousness (if those nine-minute long slow dances to “November Rain” really made an impression on you). Though, as the title implies, Accidental Revolution is more about the birth of grunge than it is about the death of rock; it’s bound to get you thinking and remembering. It’s written in the high-handed, opinionated way favoured by many music journalists, and full of stats only the obsessed could know, but author and Spin magazine assistant editor, Kyle Anderson, knows what he’s talking about. That said, if you’re of an age to have grown up during the Grunge Era, you might be surprised by how much of it you knew already. This isn’t a tell-all. The book is more of an educational pop culture text, explaining the whens and whys of a time a lot of us experienced first hand. Still, giving it a read would definitely help even the biggest music fan add to their cache of useless trivia. Read to impress/annoy your friends at parties.
I Like Food, Food Tastes Good: In the Kitchen with Your Favorite Bands by Kara Zuaro Aspiring to eat what your music idols eat is a little stalkerish, but I Like Food, Food Tastes Good contains some good recipes nonetheless. Separated into seven chapters: Breakfasts; Soups; Sides and Starters; Sandwiches; Main Courses for Carnivores; Main Courses for Vegetarians; Drinks; and Desserts—even if you haven’t heard of a single band on the contributor’s list, you’re still likely to find something here that you’d like to eat. With inclusions from the likes of Belle & Sebastian, My Morning Jacket, the Decemberists, and Grizzly Bear, the culinary spectrum is wide, but don’t buy this book if you’re looking for a lot of band insight. It’s really just about the food. Downsides include the fact that it doesn’t have pictures and some of the recipes are a bit labour intensive. We’ve all got to eat, but unless you’re a foodie or really into cooking, it might be more fun (and more bandeducational) to order in and listen to a CD.
Electric Guitars: The Illustrated Encyclopaedia by Tony Bacon and contributors
It’s hard to trust anyone who doesn’t bow to the fact that most rock musicians, and guitar players specifically, are just a whole lot cooler than everyone else. Will Hodgkinson is not one of those people. He’s just a regular guy in his 30s, saddled with a wife and kids, who decides he’s seriously going to learn to play guitar. Guitar Man is his slightly sad and hilarious story. Thanks to connections made through his job as a freelance writer, Hodgkinson seeks out lessons from famous (generally aging) musicians to help him along, including P.J. Harvey and Johnny Marr from the Smiths. Though likely to be more inspiring to aging, aspiring hipsters, if you’ve ever wanted to play the six-string, this book is a good place to start. It’s already beloved in the U.K., where it was released back in 2006, likely because it bridges a number of genres. It is at once a memoir, an inspirational instruction manual and a pop culture heavy commentary about music of the 20th Century. It’s also got a strong plot, culminating in the final chapter titled The Gig. Will he make it happen in six months or not? This is beach reading for boys.
The Art of the Band T-Shirt by Amber Easby & Henry Oliver Touted as “Fifty years of the band t-shirt in one book,” this is your standard cute coffee table tome set to be released in early July. Generally structured with photos of the shirts on one page, and info about their particular designs and designers on the facing, this is a graphic art heavy book. Still, it provides plenty of insight in regards to where the designs came from, and what inspired them, and is also a great resource if you’re looking to scour flea markets and vintage stores for original tees to add to your collection. Including sections like “A Brief History of the T-Shirt” as well as fun trivia like the fact that an Elvis shirt from 1956 is the earliest known example of a band tee, in many ways this is a book about the history of music merchandising. The best part about it is the inclusion of quotes and facts from the musicians themselves. For example, the White Stripes didn’t have enough cash for real tees back in 2000, so they bought a bunch of baseball shirts and silkscreened them on a kitchen table by hand. And the skull from a Grateful Dead tee, circa 1988, was taken from a 19th Century edition of the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam.
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If you love guitars, or just want to look like you do, this book is for you. It’s got a DK Eyewitness feel to it, though it’s more grown up and a whole lot heavier. Though definitely a coffee table book, it lives up to the word encyclopaedia: It is dense with historical information and strong guitar photography. Perfect for collectors, as well as for anyone interested in buying vintage, it’s alphabetized by brand and covers the 1935–2000 period of guitar production. Buy it as a gift for an enthusiast, but don’t expect it to hold your interest for long if you’re just mildly curious. One downside is the plasticized soft cover that has to be held open with a fair bit of force and isn’t likely to stand up to any rough wear, but a strong glossary and index, as well as the exhaustive content itself, make up for that sort of thing. And if you just want it hanging around for the look, the book’s size makes it a great tray/coaster.
Guitar Man: A Six-String Odyssey, or, You Love that Guitar More Than You Love Me by Will Hodgkinson
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fAshion forWard reWind Clothing Words Amber Turnau Photography Fiona Garden
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Joan Jett’s throaty voice belts out the lyrics to “Change the World” as I upload the MySpace page for Montreal’s Rewind Clothing. There are images of fresh-faced models wearing retro booty shorts and tube socks hanging out in the back of an iconic orange Volkswagen van. It’s clear that this crew is up for a good time. “The Rewind team is made up of a small group of young hip and happening people who see each other as a family more than anything else,” says Rewind’s Julie Bonomo. These days, it’s not uncommon to find influences from other eras in all forms of art, whether it’s music, film or fashion. Rewind has spanned several decades with its current line, by infusing the funky fabrics and patterns of the 70s with the ultra hip persona of surf, skate and snow culture—creating a wardrobe that could please anyone from 70s darling, Daisy Duke, to today’s female pro rider. “Rewind does have a heavy 70s influence,” Bonomo admits. “It mainly comes from the de-
signer’s obsession with the era.” Launched in Quebec in 1998, Rewind established strong roots with the skate and snowboard community. Since then, the line has evolved to reflect a broader range of street wear fashion, but still holds true to its surf, skate and snow influences and keeps ties with that super-charged world. “Rewind is a heavily graphic-based brand, we love art and love to support it and try to translate it onto clothing,” says Bonomo.“Music, as well, plays an important role in staying in touch with what’s out there.” Bonomo describes a Rewind client as a girl who is “down to earth, but still enjoys edginess. She is fun, playful, loves to play with colour and appreciates mixing and matching patterns. Her motto is “that anything can go, as long as you create your own style and you are comfortable with yourself.” There is certainly an element of feminine strength in Rewind’s spring/summer line. Its key
elements are fun patterns and graphic prints: on hoodies, shirts and knee-length city shorts. Plaid and paisley also make an ever-popular appearance. Until now, the Rewind collection has only been available in Quebec, which has led the company to develop strong ties with the Montreal community. The clothing company has sponsored local events, including the Rockers for Knockers breast cancer fundraiser. So what’s new for Rewind? Bonomo told ION that starting this July, the complete fall 2007 collection will be available at Off the Wall locations across Canada. The label is also in negotiations with a BC agency to represent the line in the west, come spring 2008. With this bright future ahead, it seems like Rewind is actually moving forward. To find out more about Rewind Clothing, visit www.rewindclothing.com or www.myspace.com/ rewclothing.
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Model Anna Feller Styling Judith Feller
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Photography Rino Noto styling Costa Pavlou for Plutino Group Makeup & Hair Hanoch Drori for Plutino Group Model Danya for Sutherland Models
LEFT: One-piece cutout with crystal ring, luli fama available at Sandpipers; black lizard peeptoe pump, Laurence Dacade available at Zola. RIGHT: One-piece cutout ringride suit, Eres available at Sandpipers
LEFT: Two-piece v bandeau, Eres available at Sandpipers; strappy crepe sandal, Alaia available at Zola Shoes. RIGHT: Two-piece laser halter, Vix available Sandpipers
Two-piece suit with gathers and detailing, Shan; black leather raised pump, Walter Steiger; chrome shield sunglasses, Prada available at Karir
ART FASHION
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THE JOY OF CULT M Musicals are completely fucked up and awesome. We’ve all witnessed it firsthand. You’re at a party, someone puts on the “Grease Mega Mix” and people (mainly girls) start singing along. No other genre of film is capable of elevating the spirit like a musical. Musicals have always existed in an interesting place. The American Film Institute’s top 10 of all time consists of two musicals, Singin’ in the Rain and The Wizard of Oz. When a bunch of money and some big name actors are involved in a musical, they’re all touted as Oscar contenders—Chicago, Dreamgirls, Ray, Walk the Line—or the movies are praised as a family classic—every animated Disney film ever made. On the other side of the rainbow, there are people who think musicals are hokey, ridiculous and, for lack of a better word, kind of gay. Musicals are all three so hating musicals is understandable. Can you think of a genre of film more detached from reality? I posit that a Godzilla film is more plausible than a film where people spontaneously break into song and well-choreographed dance numbers. The show must go on, even when there’s no money to make a musical. Welcome to the world of cult musicals and get ready for a truly insane experience. The mother of all cult musicals is, of course, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. But in the 32 years since it bombed miserably at the box office and then became the biggest cult musical, arguably the biggest cult film, of all time, people have kept making them. While some of the most memorable cult musicals have been made by people you’ve never heard of, an interesting crop of vanguard directors have all tackled the genre. People like Tim Burton, Todd Haynes, Peter Jackson, Takashi Miike, Brian De Palma, Trey Parker, Lars Von Trier and John Waters. What is it that motivates them to attempt such a ludicrous thing as making a musical? Whether it’s a masochistic urge to sabotage their successful careers or an equally masochistic urge to challenge themselves, the end result is always entertaining. You won’t find any of these films on the American Film Institute’s top 100 list. None of these would likely make their top 10,000. But really, how much fun did you have watching their number one film, Citizen Kane, anyways? Not as much fun as that time you had friends over to watch R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet in it’s entirety, no doubt. And if a movie isn’t fun, then why are you watching it?
MUSICALS
Words: David Bertrand, Robin Bougie, Robert Dayton, ROBERT JAMIESON, Adrian Mack, Michael Mann and PATRICIA MATOS, ADam o. ThomAS. Illustration: Mike Shantz
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CULT MUSICAL CLASSICS All That Jazz (1979) Fox Video | Dir: Bob Fosse Roy Scheider sings! You gots to looooooves the Roy Scheider. He’s a damned great actor. Welcome to pure self-indulgence as director Bob Fosse creates a warts-and-all, thinly veiled self-portrait. Opening with “On Broadway” we get lots of meat hook leotards and top hats, Fosse Fosse Fosse, work it work it workaholism, the show must go on, and make it racy! Booze, pills, ladies, show biz excess in a rather endearing navel gaze. There’s messy experimentalism of pure entertainment, production numbers hazing into gritty character-driven depth, and an Angel of Death guiding us through flashbacks. This movie unwinds and spirals out of control into musical montage land as the autobiography gets real loose when Fosse’s stand in character—SPOILER ALERT—does a joyous death scene with Ben Vereen set to a lengthy Vegas funk Beatles medley that builds and builds and bursts.
-Robert Dayton
The Apple (1980) MGM | Dir: Menahem Golan Made in 1980, this movie’s dystopian future of 1994 sure looks a lot better than the real dystopia of 1994 that we lived through. For one, there’s lotsa lamé and glitter-a-plenty! The Apple looks like some cockeyed cross between Phantom Of the Paradise and Can’t Stop the Music. It is positively gauche excess. On its premiere this movie did not fare well; audience members apparently tossed their complimentary soundtrack LPs at the screen in outrage. Hey, they rioted at Stravinsky’s Rite Of Spring, didn’t they? Let’s get back to the great damage that was caused with a quick synopsis of The Apple. A THAT Moose Jaw still exists in the future) make earnest folk music that goes up against very produced Corporate fare at a World Music competition. They lose, of course, but that does not stop them from being taken through a music industry Hell. All forms of complete and utter debauchery are explicitly shown and sung about with
People might have been gay. Can’t Stop the
Featuring very silly, overly happy musical num-
Music was producer Allan Carr’s career-destroy-
bers all written by Parker himself, actual song
glossy, tantalizing show of hedonism, then say
ing attempt to capitalize on the freak success
titles include “Let’s build a snowman and Hang
that it is bad. And that is only one of the fasci-
of “YMCA,” without giving the game away too
the Bastard.” Parker plays the role of Alfred
natingly muddled aspects of this head-scratcher.
much to an America that still hadn’t figured out
Packer, legendary experimental filmmaker Stan
The Mylar sets and costumes are so elaborate,
why all those guys with mustaches were get-
Brakhage makes an appearance, as does Matt Stone. This film, like most Troma releases, is a bit
yet there is no way they could actually function
ting so excited about an all-male gym. As such,
in reality. Like the rest of the movie, they are top-
Can’t Stop the Music is careful to never speak
of an acquired taste and not because of the sub-
heavy, ready to topple and none of the numer-
the name of the love that dare not speak its
ject matter. The budget is tiny ($70,000) but its strength lies in Parker’s unrelenting ability to nev-
ous musical numbers that parade past will break
name, relying instead on such covert symbols as
the fall. SOILER [sic] ALERT: all the good people
Bruce Jenner in cut-off denims and a halter top,
er take anything seriously. Indians are played by
in the end get their hands held as they are taken
fag-hag icon Valerie Perrine busting up an all
Japanese exchange students, beards are badly
up on a stairway to Heaven by a burly, yet gentle
male soap-and-shower party with her exposed
glued on and men dress in drag. Regardless the
bearded God figure in a flowing robe that they
breasts, a song called “Liberation,” at least one
film has developed a strong cult following and
met one day in a park. With The Apple, don’t just
very conspicuous neon rainbow, a climax set in
the DVD features drunken director commentary,
take a bite, eat the whole damned pie, trust me.
San Francisco’s Galleria, and, most shockingly, a
and is a must see if you want to know why there
bizarre sequence concerning a TV commercial
are so many damn songs in the South Park guys’
for milk that features a bunch of beaming tots
movies.
-Robert Dayton
-Adam O. Thomas
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
dressed like the band—including the Leather
“Once More, With Feeling!” episode (2001)
Guy!!! Incredible. Sample dialogue: “Anybody
Cry-Baby (1990)
Fox Video | Dir: Joss Whedon
who can swallow two snowballs and a ding-
Universal l Dir: John Waters
No review of modern musicals would be com-
dong shouldn’t have any trouble with pride.” The
Despite the fact that Johnny Depp was in
plete without a mention of this episode from the
film also stars Steve Guttenberg, whose subse-
Nightmare on Elm Street, this was the movie
Joss Whedon-created television program. Having
quent role in Police Academy might be consid-
that really launched his career. Playing against
grown up with musicals, facing the show’s sixth
ered an enormous step up. Weirdest of all, Can’t
his 21 Jump Street teen idol image, here he’s
season and on a new network, Whedon decided
Stop the Music was directed by Nancy Walker,
a misunderstood greaser with a penchant for
it was time to bring a lifelong ambition to real-
who was famous at the time for playing Rhoda
Rockabilly and eyes for the square chick from
ization: writing a musical. With an outline of the
Morgenstern’s mom in the TV series Rhoda.
the good side of the tracks. While Hairspray is
entire season in mind, Whedon used the mu-
A wise-cracking New York Jew who looked like
often mistaken as John Waters’ musical, Waters
sic to propel the storyline much further ahead
Eddie Munster and was only about four-feet tall,
points out Hairspray was his dance movie and
than any regular episode could. In keeping with
Walker proved herself to be a giant in the field of
Cry-Baby was his musical. It was also the first
the tone of the series, the show had all the ele-
bad taste taken to an extreme, and we can only
movie where John Waters and the fine people
ments its fans had come to expect: fantasy, hor-
imagine how much cocaine it took to put her in
of Baltimore had a significant budget to work
ror and humour, but tempered with some of the
charge. Seriously, why?
with, beyond the Pink Flamingos days where
-Adrian Mack
Trannies ate dog pooh. Here the cast includes
most heart-wrenching moments the show had produced to date. The songs followed the true
Cannibal: The Musical (1996)
Iggy Pop (clean and sober), Ricki Lake (pre talk
spirit of traditional musicals, from classic show-
Troma | Dir: Trey Parker
show host), Traci Lords (post teen porn), Patricia
stoppers to modern rock opera bombast, with
This started out as a short film project for South
Hearst (post Symbionese Liberation Army), Joe
the lyrics both telling the story and revealing all
Park’s Trey Parker while he was at the University
Dallesandro (post Warhol factory) and Willem
the anxiety, love, and pain of the characters. Six
of Colorado. Originally titled Alfred Packer: The
Dafoe (post Platoon), all of whom play it up,
years later, the ongoing cultural impact of the
Musical, the film is loosely based on the real
over the top and to perfection. A parody of ‘50s
episode is still being felt. Thousands of fans
events of Alfred Packer who was charged with
teenage delinquent films, at its heart Cry-Baby is
across North America continue to get together
cannibalism while lost in the wilderness in the
about class and the ability to see beyond labels,
to view the musical on the big screen and sing
1870s. Expanded into feature form the movie
something Waters has been on about since he
along with the characters.
was then picked up by Troma studios in 1996,
started making movies with weirdoes and out-
who released the renamed film a year before
casts—that led to William S. Burroughs calling
Can’t Stop the Music (1980)
South Park debuted on television. There, enough
him “The Pope of Trash.”
Anchor Bay | Dir: Nancy Walker
back-story. The film is what you would expect
This is a shot in the dark, but I think the Village
from the makers of Orgazmo and Baseketball.
-Robert Jamieson
-Adam O. Thomas
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young, wide-eyed couple from Moose Jaw (yes,
unabashed glee, yet the movie also doubles as some form of religious allegory. They give us a
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Forbidden Zone (1980)
breakfast in the middle of nowhere. The family
Simultaneously sinister and hilariously campy, it
Fantoma | Dir: Richard Elfman
business fails miserably, the multi-generational
makes for one of director Brian De Palma’s finest
of God! Cue Satan himself (a poorly animated
I dunno why I put off seeing this for so long,
Katakuris fight each other and the few custom-
hours. Every frame is an ingeniously conceived
puppet) and Thor redressed in codpiece, cape,
maybe because it is forbidden? Isn’t some-
ers who finally do arrive drop dead under hor-
masterwork, including his trademark split screen
frizzled hair and Barbie glitter. Muscles are flexed
thing forbidden meant to be enticing? Well, if
rible circumstances. It takes a volcano, corpse
used in one elaborate faux Beach Boys pro-
in slow motion! Malicious Play-Doh starfish are
it has cooties, its cooties are googly-eyed that’s
stashing in the yard and murdering Captain
duction number. Although Paul Williams wrote
annihilated! “Old Scratch” is heroically grappled
fer shure! Upon my first viewing, I had to see it
Mullet of Britain’s Royal Navy to renew the fam-
a lot of classic songs that are in the pop mu-
into submission! The Lord of Darkness—defeat-
again to be really sure I had just watched what I
ily bonds. Of course, every event is cause for a
sic lexicon, he really out does himself with this
ed with a chokehold! With booze and friends,
watched. Was what I watched, what I watched?
gloriously choreographed sing-along to shit-kick
elaborate song cycle. Themes are repeated in a
Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare quickly leaps to religious
Was it really in black and white? It sure seemed
Lloyd Webber. From J-Pop karaoke and pastoral
myriad of mirror fragments, a multitude of styles,
proportions. It’s bad cinema at its baddest; the
jaw-dropping finale to be The Intercessor, Warrior
full colour in every other way. Forbidden Zone
Anne of Green Gables maritime fiddle, to feisty
ballsy and gentle, the diabolical and the fantas-
‘80s at their most majestically atrocious. You
is a mountain of frantically paced absurdity,
samba and The Sound of Music, the whole fi-
tic. To think, the Rolling Stones were originally
owe yourself the treat. Rent it. -David Bertrand
madcap musical numbers that borrow from Cab
asco is fucking insane. Further proof that Japan
tapped in to do the soundtrack. I mean, when
Calloway and the Three Stooges with an array
does everything better.
-David Bertrand
of expressionistic sets. All taboos are squashed
was the last time you put Goats Head Soup
Sextette (1978)
on your turntable? Paul Williams is the perfect
Rhino | Dir: Ken Hughes
in a frenzy! Through a door in the Hercules
Meet the Feebles (1989)
tunesmith for the job, mixing honest Tin Pan Alley
Along with Nixon, the Jonestown massacre, and
family basement live action actors glide down
DVD Video | Dir: Peter Jackson
style craftsmanship with structural tricks whilst
the appearance of Mork from Ork in the last sea-
through Fleischer Brothers inspired, animated
WOO! Peter Jackson at his despicable early
self-knowingly putting on and shrugging off mu-
son of Happy Days, Sextette comes from the very
intestine tubing straight to the Forbidden Zone,
peak! Meet the Feebles is The Muppet Show on
sical styles with great ease. And he can really de-
darkest underside of the ‘70s. And while America
which is ruled by a midget king played by Herve
crystal meth, Viagra, antifreeze and LSD. Harry
liver the kick ass rock ‘n’ roll goods. Williams also
at large might have forgotten this alleged “musi-
Villechaize, a queen, and a topless princess.
the rabbit contracts an STD (“The Big One”); fat-
plays the Phil Spector-like Swan, a satanic music
cal,” it remains our responsibility to make sure
There’s a bow-tied frogman as well. Written by
breasted fading starlet Heidi the Hippo snoops
business figure, with devious smirking glee. The
something like Sextette never happens again, in
Matthew Bright (Freeway) and Richard Elfman,
her lover Bletch—a coke-dealing walrus—get-
movie naturally touches on The Phantom Of the
spite of the temptation to howl with sick amuse-
it was meant to capture what the musical act
ting gummers from a pussycat; S&M queen
Opera and goes for the throat with archetypal
ment. In reality, the onscreen humiliation of one
The Mystic Knights Of Oingo Boingo—Danny
Madame Bovine, a masked cockroach, and a
themes of Faust. This is a perfect musical; plot
of the great stars of Golden Era Hollywood, Mae
Elfman’s unbridled musical group that later be-
panty-sniffing anteater make snuff and “nasal”
and production numbers meld seamlessly and
West, is a little too much to bear. Especially since
came the much more sedate and simply named
porn films; a smack-addicted frog flashes back
flow like a wild roller coaster.
the premise here, that the raunchy 80 year-old
Oingo Boingo—was all about. Rub your eyes
to ‘Nam (Vietcong are buck-toothed rodents!)
until you can’t rub no more but don’t rub too
and fatally craps the bed as the Feeble’s knife-
Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987)
one, including, among others, the US Olympic
much cuz you just might miss something. It will
thrower, a Gandhi look-alike, shoves his head
Synapse | Dir: John Fasano
Team, isn’t really played for laughs. Even if it
change your life this week and the next and the
in his own ass. It’s all sandwiched by doo-wop
From the potent mind and pectorals of
was, Sextette would still be irreversibly damaged
next and the next and.…
musical skits like “Garden of Love,” “One Leg
Vancouver’s legendary Rock Warrior, Jon Mikl
and wrong for a bunch of other reasons, but the
-Robert Dayton
-Robert Dayton
Vaudevillian is sexually irresistible to every-
Missing (How do I get around?),” and teenage
Thor (“Thunder on the Tundra”), comes this
film’s ambiguous tone leaves it up to the nau-
Heidi’s jazzy “Hot Potato.” The finale is a kill-crazy,
Canadian-made Genie & Juno-sweeping tear-
seated viewer to decide if West—who supplied
Chimera | Dir: Takashi Miike
squib-poppin’ machine gun gore bath, cut with
jerker. Thor, stretching his acting prowess, plays
the film’s premise—is sincere about generating
The opening scene: a winged statue in a bowl of
the ultimate show-destroying song-and-dance
Jon Triton, leader of hair metal quintet The Tritonz.
heat with her co-star, Timothy Dalton (who looks
soup comes to claymation life, tears the uvula
routine, “Sodomy,” where giant cock props spew
They drive—for four and a half astounding min-
like he might vomit). As such, the befuddled and
from a screaming woman’s throat, eats it, gets
glitter as Sebastien the Fox coos, “Open up your
utes of impossibly pointless screen time—to an
barrel-shaped octogenarian is mostly required
eaten by a crow, the crow gets eaten by a creepy
ring/and try it front to bum/bum bum/bum bum
abandoned rural shack “in Toronto” where they
to lean against solid objects, delivering double-
brown bag, a bunch of things eat each other,
bum bum...!”There are no humans in this movie;
have “a month to come up with ten minutes of
entendres that, seriously, don’t even make sense,
a crow shits on grandpa’s head...clearly, what
it’s all puppets and dudes in suits. And some-
good new material!” We get awesome full-cos-
while she bobs up and down like a silent-era
we’re in for is a two hour family musical. Takashi
how, this makes Feebles so much more filthy
tume rehearsals of Thor-penned power glam,
cartoon. It’s the weirdest thing you’ll ever see,
Miike is the wild motherfucker who brought
and wrong.
like “Energy” and “We Live to Rock,” with Thor
even without West and Dalton’s duet on “Love
Happiness of the Katakuris (2001)
sportin’ a silver magician’s tuxedo, a token gal
will Keep us Together.” Keith Moon’s cameo as a
on keyboard (like Neve Campbell in Catwalk!),
gay dressmaker is actually more tragic than his
20th Century Fox | Dir: Brian De Palma
and Stig, the comedy relief drummer, with the
death the same year. It’s horrifying. Director Ken
Though it may be the dark horse, Phantom Of
shittiest fake Aussie accent ever. But watch out
Hughes arrived at this demented ode to geron-
the Paradise delivers the goods oodles more
Tritonz! In this house are roast chicken monsters,
tophilia after covering the other end of the per-
song-and-dance extravaganza. The story: Dad,
than The Rocky Horror Picture Show ever did.
dollar-store masks and rubber-penis demons
vo-spectrum with the creepy Chitty Chitty Bang
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-David Bertrand
canned from his job, decides to open a bed and
This is THE quintessential glam rock movie!
from Hell! Luckily, Jon Triton is revealed in the
Bang. Highly recommended!
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us Ichi the Killer, Audition and Gozu—in other words, the most insane, violent, brain-damag-
Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
ingly offensive and simply greatest creative cinema in the universe. Happiness is a Korean film, The Quiet Family, remade by Miike as a manic
-Adrian Mack
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Shock Treatment (1981)
out his dedication to making her a star, Jackie
look an awful lot like a vacant,‘80s German syn-
20th Century Fox | Dir: Jim Sharman
would never have made it into the newspaper
thpop group) land their ship (a giant guitar??) in
“Rock ‘n’ Roll” or a head explodes. Good luck not
“You’re not looking at a king. You’re looking at an
for tightrope walking in a fake, massive-breast-
“Speelburg” (a.k.a. Atlanta) where they run into
dying of alcohol poisoning by the halfway point. But Wild Zero isn’t all zombie mayhem. There’s a
drink every time someone combs their hair, says
ace.” It’s the follow up to The Rocky Horror Picture
ed shirt. Starstruck is like a new-wave musical,
a gang of rockabilly buttwipes called “The Pack”
Show that no one has seen. Brad and Janet are
with Kennedy looking and singing like a poppier
(Jimmy & the Mustangs), a loopy sheriff (Ruth
valuable message that rock ‘n’ roll has no gen-
back. Except this time round Brad is played by
Siouxsie Sioux-meets-Cyndi Lauper, complete
Gordon), a robot disguised as a fire hydrant and
der boundaries as Guitar Wolf encourage Ace to
Cliff De Young and Janet is played by Jessica
with a struggling singer storyline and nonsensi-
two escapees from a mental asylum who kill
pursue a homosexual relationship. As if Gene
Harper (Phantom of the Paradise, Suspiria). It’s
cal scenes (see: old lady who throws cats into
random high school students. In an unrelated
Simmons would ever do that.
six years after the RHPS and the two are mar-
kitchen sink, gay cabana pool party). It’s easy to
plotline, a sea monster from Lake Eerie exudes
ried. Unfortunately, their marriage is on the rocks.
understand how ABBA became so huge down
soap bubbles. Yes, this is retarded. But the real
Xanadu (1980)
Fortunately, they live in Denton, a town that’s
under. And if you have them, try watching the
reason to get excited is the music. This is a per-
Universal | Dir: Robert Greenwald
been turned into a television station where all
musical numbers wearing a glitter headband
fect example of that goofy, affected ‘80s pop that
Nominated for five Razzie awards (Worst
its citizens are either members of the cast or the
and holding an old NES gun controller. It will to-
metalheads are still desperately trying to forget.
Actress, Worst Film, Worst original song, Worst
live studio audience. The leader of this bizarre
tally make sense.
I’m excitedly talking about the astonishing yet
screenplay and a special “lifetime achieve-
entirely-unrelated-to-the-plot, six-minute, post-
ment” award for “Worst musical made in 25
-Patricia Matos
Truman show is fast food mogul, Farley Flavors
-Michael Mann
(also played by Cliff De Young). Flavors thinks
Trapped In The Closet (2005)
apocalyptic duet called “When the Rain Begins
years”) Xanadu has built a solid reputation as
Janet has potential to be Denton’s next big star.
Jive | Dir: R. Kelly
to Fall” with Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora.
unwatchable cinematic garbage, but we’re here
Under the guise of fixing their marriage, Brad is
Though not a conventional musical in the
Listen, go search the song title on YouTube right
to inform you that like so many things that are
institutionalized on a show called Dentonvale
sense that people don’t get up and spontane-
now, it’ll blow your fucking mind. Oh, and then
oddly labeled as bad, this unapologetically bub-
while Janet is groomed to become Denton’s
ously dance in sync or know the words to songs
there’s renegade gang leader (complete with
bly movie is incredibly entertaining. Released in
next big thing. Magenta and Riff Raff return but
that summarize their emotional state of mind,
chains wrapped around his upper thigh) Craig
1980, Xanadu was the Altamont for the ‘70s—in that it signaled the end of that beloved brown
this time they’re doctors. Columbia’s back as
R. Kelly’s personal opus is possibly one of the
Sheffer lip-synching a sappy ditty called “Nature
well but she’s a sexy nurse. The music is written
weirdest and most hilarious deviations of the
of the Beast” where he broods about his own
and yellow era while opening the neon plastic
by Richard O’Brien so it all sounds like the music
form ever released. More a hip-hop opera than
“dark, elusive eyes.” BARRRF! You need to visu-
Pandora’s Box we know as the ‘80s. It gathered
from Rocky Horror with new lyrics. Musical high-
a musical, Trapped In The Closet is a 90-minute
ally ingest this forgotten cult-film oddity, but it
up elements of the late ‘70s (disco, roller skat-
lights include “Bitchin in the Kitchen,” a song
narrative told through 12 chapters that feature
won’t be easy. The long-outta-print VHS is only
ing, wacked-out laser FX, feathered hair, ELO),
about relationships using kitchen appliance
R. Kelly as the central character and musical
found for rent in the ‘Couve at Videomatica on
and farted all over them in magnificent, vapid,
metaphors, “Farley’s Song,” a song about how
narrator who sings one long monotonous R&B
West 4th Avenue. There is no DVD version, save
me-generation fashion. Watching this theatri-
great Farley Flavors is and “Little Black Dress,”
song about a series of increasingly ridiculous
for a Region 2 disc that you’ll have to order from
cal mixture is like downing a shopping bag of
a song about a slutty black dress. Bizarre and
situations concerning a love triangle, gay lov-
the UK if you’re that desperate. -Robin Bougie
ahead of it’s time, the only reason this isn’t more
ers, cheating women and a midget. What makes
Skittles, pooping them into your hand and gobbling ‘em back down again. And guess what? It
popular than Rocky Horror is because it doesn’t
this so amazing is that while R. Kelly sings the
Wild Zero (2000)
tasted like Skittles the second time around too!
give straight men an excuse to go to a dark the-
whole time, the story is acted out by people lip-
Synapse | Dir: Tetsuro Takeuchi
Starring saccharine-sweet Olivia Newton-John,
atre in drag.
synching to R. Kelly’s conversational style lyrics.
Let’s say the dead rise from their graves and start
Michael Beck (“Swan” in The Warriors), and a
So when he sings: “She looked at him and said,
feasting on the flesh of the living. If you could
very out of place Gene Kelly, Xanadu is, through
“Why you frontin’ ?” the actress in the scene
only pick one band to save the world, who would
its fashion, sets, music, and performances, fear-
-Michael Mann
Starstruck (1982) Blue Underground | Dir: Gillian Armstrong
looks at the other character and lip-synchs,“Why
it be? Well I’m sorry, but if you picked any band
less in what it’ll stoop to doing in order to bring
Musicals are great because no matter how
you frontin?’” If this seems convoluted it’s not.
except Japanese garage noise punks Guitar
a broad smile to your face.This shit even sports a
bad life gets, there’s always a song for that mo-
It’s very simple, and truthfully, it is totally spell-
Wolf, you’d be dead. This over-the-top rock ‘n’ roll
weird and wonderful animated musical number
ment and a group of people ready to synchro-
binding and laugh-out-loud funny, especially
zombie flick is Japan’s answer to Kiss Meets the
by Don Bluth (the guy behind The Secret of Nihm
nize movement in busy outfits all around you.
when R. Kelly rhymes things like “dresser” and
Phantom of the Park. We’re in the midst of an
and the Dragon’s Lair video game), as well as
Jackie Mullins (Jo Kennedy) is a somewhat
“berretta.”
alien/zombie invasion and Ace, a young Guitar
the hallucinatory concept of musically combin-
Wolf fan, is in trouble. Fortunately, the band gave
ing 40s Zoot Suit-ers and 80s Devo-esque jump-
-Adam O Thomas
her family-owned pub. She’s a firecracker who
Voyage of the Rock Aliens (1984)
him a magic whistle that only Guitar Wolf can
suit-ers. Braving all levels of camp without be-
dreams of singing on her own terms—even if it
Out of print | Dir: James Fargo
hear and they’re off to the rescue. Get ready for
ing self-aware in the slightest, Xanadu deserves
means crashing a singing contest at the Sydney
In Voyage of the Rock Aliens, a craptacular mu-
a lot of feedback and a lot of exploding heads as
some street cred. I watch this crazy-ass movie
Opera House. Jackie’s brother Angus, 14, is her
sical extravaganza that was decades ahead of
Guitar uses handguns, laser guitar picks, a ba-
at least twice a year, and it somehow gets more
out-there manager. He is also obsessed with
its time, Pia Zadora plays a sassy teenage gang
zooka and the power of rock to save the day. Why
entertaining every goddamn time. -Robin Bougie
sex and playing clacker balls, and spies on his
leader facing extraterrestrials who are search-
not up the ante by playing the drinking game
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promiscuous 18-year-old singer who works in
sister while she changes. Pervy, yes; but with-
ing for the source of rock ‘n’ roll. The Aliens (who
that goes along with the DVD? You have to take a
33
Let’s face it, Victoria, BC, often gets overlooked by us mainlanders when it comes to a vibrant music scene let alone any music scene to spe ak of. But thanks to bands like Immaculate Mac hine and their concerted eff ort s to get off “The Rock” to rock the rest of the cou ntry, the news has spread far and wide. With the release of the aptly titled Fables, Guitarist Brooke Gal lupe, keyboardist Kathryn Calder and drummer Luke Kozlowski are getting set to tell tall tales and hook the unsuspecting music fan with pop parables about the open road. The trio, who rely on quirky instrumentat ion and the help of a few close friends (Alex Kapranos ring a bell with anybo dy?) to make their songs sti ck, making Victoria a city to be reckoned with. I thi nk it’s safe to say we can all look forward to that. www.immaculatemachine.com or myspace.com/immaculate machine
ART FASHION
FILM MUSIC ION MAGAZINE 38
THree’s Company Peter Björn and JohN Words Emily Khong Illustration Tyler Quarles Maybe it’s an acquired taste. Peter Morén, of the Swedish indie-pop trio Peter Björn and John, has heard his fair share of references to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches due to his band name sharing the same acronym. Unfortunately for the group, it is just an unlucky coincidence. If the group had a choice of which afternoon snack to be associated with,“It wouldn’t be that sandwich,” replies Morén. Instead, he’d prefer the band to be a complete meal of “Some fresh yogurt with some nice fruit, like raspberries or blueberries, and some kind of sandwich on the side, maybe something more salty, like pastrami; so some kind of salty meat,” he says, pausing to chuckle before adding,“and coffee, of course.” Sandwiches aside, PB&J (Peter Morén, Björn Yittling, and John Eriksson) make a tasty combination this time ‘round where they all shared vocal and writing duties for their third album, Writer’s Block (this was Eriksson’s first time penning songs for the band). “I wouldn’t want to be in a band where I didn’t write songs,” explains Morén.“Since we all contribute to the arrangements and ideas and everything, why not contribute to the actual songwriting as well? Of course, it makes it more democratic than before, but it’s a good thing. It makes it more diverse.” As Writer’s Block had all members on equal footing, it also brought them higher.“It has a more positive view on life,” says Morén.“The first album was very much like most first albums are. You have to pick songs from all your previous years of songwriting, so you have a lot of old songs there; it’s very all over the place when it comes to lyrical content.The second one was quite pessimistic although it’s equally as good as Writer’s Block. I think it’s a very good album, but it’s quite bitter and it comes from breaking up, relationships and stuff, and then the new one is about a new start so it’s more positive.” It’s easy to see the up side of things as the album includes the warm undertones of the
retro-folk ballad, “Objects of My Affection.” The band even manages to make the exciting city of Amsterdam quirkier, with Yittling’s thick accent loud and clear and equally charming, in the song of the same name. And there’s no better way to deal with a failed romance than with the sweet lyrics of “Let’s Call it Off.” “I know many people who met the same way/Relations that lasted for more then one day/But I don’t wanna know why we couldn’t do more/Some things are better to leave unexplored.” The words may be a downer, but the steelpans and high-pitched bass will get your dance on, regardless. The inspiration behind the album title is a witty take on a well-known pun; all three “writers” live within close proximity of Stockholm, although Morén wouldn’t mind new additions to the neighbourhood. “Burt Bacharach sitting out on the balcony playing the piano, he can play us a couple of melodies. Then, on some other floor I’d have a cinema director like Woody Allen. That would be a good combination,” Morén says with a laugh. Ol’ Woody might not be borrowing a cup of sugar anytime soon, but the group has had close friends at hand. When PB&J needed someone to complete their duet for “Young Folks,” Victoria Bergsman, of the Concretes, was the obvious choice. The track not only includes one of the sweetest duets on record, but also the best whistling refrain since the demented theme of Kill Bill. “Young Folks” was the driving force that put PB&J on the map and made Writer’s Block their most successful album to date. As busy as PB&J are with touring, Morén has managed to keep his day job, lending a hand at his local used bookshop. One casualty of the band’s hectic schedule is Morén’s education. “I was studying at university to become a librarian but I gave that up for now,” he explains.“It’s a lot of group work and you can’t do everything at home by yourself so you need to come to school and I was away too much, so I couldn’t really cope with
it. It will have to wait. I’ve always wanted to do music but it’s harder to make a living out of it.” As much as PB&J have garnered buzz over Writer’s Block, someone has tried to spoil the party. One such anti-PB&J fan went so far as to create a website that protests the band, but they failed to slow down the band’s success or turn fans away. Part of the controversy was over whistling; more specifically, so-called “fake” whistling at their live performances. “To begin with, the whistle…it’s just that we have it sampled as well as a backup, ‘cause sometimes you’re very dry and your mouth has sung a couple of songs and it’s hard to make it sound right so it’s good to have when I do whistle. But even if I wouldn’t whistle, come on, there’s a lot of people who have everything on backing tracks…what if we would be a fullon synthesizer band, or an electronica act or hip hoppers? I mean, just because it’s a guitar pop band…I really don’t understand it at all. It’s very stupid. It doesn’t devalue the music.” Morén explains the reason behind his occasional lack of breath, “I can’t keep still. I have a lot of dance in my legs I have to get out.” The 30-something singer believes that fans may be surprised, “If you listen to lots of the album and then see us live, it’s more rock ‘n’ roll, I would say, more aggressive and energetic.” No professional whistler will be needed on PB&J’s summer tour, nor will there be any appearances by Victoria Bergsman (though keep your fingers crossed). The Swede singer was quick to add that, “If someone wants to play bongos, then they should write, like a mail, to peterbjornjohn@ gmail.com and say, ‘I’m from this city and I’m very good at bongos,’ and they can come to the sound check.” After some thought, Morén added, “Maybe it’s better if we bring the bongos and they just bring themselves—too many bongos in the room.”
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ART FASHION
FILM MUSIC ION MAGAZINE 40
STILL POGOING
BOUNCING SOULS Words Marielle Kho
A lot of people go through an “I’m more punk than you are” phase in high school. Usually, these people grow out of this phase once they graduate. I was not one of these people and after attending a Bouncing Souls show, I know that I am not alone. There are at least 500 others in Vancouver that are still appreciative of the repetitive chords, fast drum beats and punchy bass lines that most have come to understand as characteristic of punk rock. I arrived at the venue about an hour before they opened the doors, and was greeted by the Souls’ tour manager. Assured that their guitarist, Pete Steinkopf, would be out in a few minutes to do the interview, I waited patiently by the merch table. When Pete emerged from the back room, my sympathetic nervous system suddenly kicked in, and I experienced a moment of panic. I have been listening to the Bouncing Souls longer than I have listened to any other band and I certainly did not want to leave a bad impression on them. But the epinephrine seemed to quickly reside, which was much appreciated because nobody likes a nervous freak. I first heard the Bouncing Souls when I was 14 years old and had tuned in to the local college radio station in the middle of the night. I have credited the Souls with being my gateway band into punk rock and was interested in who they would consider to be their gateway band. Steinkopf tells me that the Angry Samoans was the band that got him into the music, which is not surprising, seeing as these guys have been around since 1989. He explains that so much has changed, and is still changing with the punk rock scene, especially with “things like MySpace, where everything becomes so connected.” This definitely is a huge change for a band like the Bouncing Souls, who started out by “getting in a van and going on tour with nothing but a jar of peanut butter.” But these humble roots soon blossomed into bigger and better things for the band; they have upgraded to a much larger tour bus, and most likely have a fair amount of coin that can be used to better feed themselves. They show no signs
of slowing down either, as Steinkopf assures me that “they’ll always be around in some way.” There is a certain timelessness to the Souls’ music. When compared to most other punk bands, their lyrics are much more optimistic and hopeful. Where many other bands from the US are focusing on the political situation, the Souls choose to focus on “personal politics,” instead of “screaming opinions into microphones whether or not people want to hear them.” And although Steinkopf believes that “there is room for both, [he doesn’t] want to be on stage yelling at kids about them.” So if overt political messages are not for the Souls, then one could say that they’re all about the music. The Bouncing Souls founded Chunksaah records over a decade ago, and as a self-proclaimed DIY label, they have been responsible for many vinyl releases for bands such as the Loved Ones, who are playing with the Souls at this show. When asked about the format of vinyl recordings, Steinkopf talks about the appeal that vinyl still has. “Although its popularity has been slowing down, I think that people still like to have the feeling that they’re holding the music and the artwork in their hands.” Steinkopf continues to talk passionately about music, and also about the label. When asked about any new and upcoming bands to check out, he immediately recommends Static Radio NJ, who was the opening act for the show. I find it so comforting to hear someone talk so passionately about music and know that they also have a hand in helping those that are equally as passionate. At this point, time has become my enemy and the opening of the venue doors forces me to cut the interview short. Despite the limited time that I had with Pete Steinkopf, his passion for playing music and touring is something to take to heart. He tells me “one of the best stops on the tour was Banff, because it was so crazy with 600 people throwing up and going insane.” And if the music industry needs more of something nowadays, it’s definitely more vomit and insanity.
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ART
DOUBLENAUT
FASHION
FILM
MUSIC
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POSTER ART
Doublenaut kicks some serious arse. We’re not the only people who think this as heavy weights Cancer Bats, Bloc Party and Modest Mouse knock on their door. Since going pro three years ago, the Toronto trio of Matt and Andrew McCracken and Greg Sullivan, have successfully carved a distinct niche for themselves.They rely on ties to their hometown music scene in Ottawa and juxtapose sharp colour with bold imagery to get the point across. Trust me folks, these heroes are no zeros when it comes to making the eye pop and the tongue drop. www.doublenaut.com
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ART FASHION
FILM MUSIC: ALBUM REVIEWS
Favourite Worst Nightmare arctic monkeys domino
VOLTA Björk WARNER
dumb luck dntel sub pop
Björk’s newest album, Volta, is definite-
Dntel’s Jimmy Tamborello can be held
Despite the NME erroneously hail-
ly a rewarding listen. In fact, it’s her
responsible for a number of things
ing the Monkeys’ debut as,“The fifth
best album in a decade. Volta revisits
over the past decade. One, bring-
greatest British album of all time,”
communicating to the public through
ing laptop pop to a wider audience
although undoubtedly quite awesome,
verse and beats, as opposed to the
with his third LP, 2001’s Life is Full of
Favourite Worst Nightmare might just
past few albums, which were more
Possibilities (thanks to the brilliant sin-
be a little better. Though the band has
about experimentation and inward
gle “(This Is) The Dream of Evan and
aged (all over the 20 mark now!), and
reflection. Certainly no stranger to
Chan”) and also hauling Death Cab’s
experienced its fair share of music in-
collaboration, this time around Björk
Ben Gibbard out of the bedroom and
dustry delight and distress (chart suc-
enlists Timbaland, Mark Bell (formerly
into the hearts of dance floor-shy in-
cess, dealing with fame, dodgy birds/
of LFO), Konono N°1 and everyone’s
die kids with the duo’s Postal Service
gits, et al.) the music hasn’t suffered
favourite transgendered crooner,
album—a record that moved a ridicu-
one bit. The opener,“Brianstorm,” is a
Antony. The most extroverted songs of
lous amount of copies and earned the
thumping diatribe directed at a shifty
the bunch are “Innocence,”“Declare
two a pile of cash and credibility from
producer sporting a suspicious “t-
Independence” and “Wanderlust.”
indie and dance-oriented crowds. But
shirt and tie combination” while “This
Complimenting these and complet-
with Dumb Luck, Tamborello’s latest
House is a Circus” finds the band
ing the album are a trio of subdued
record under the nom de plume of
opening its typically tightly-wound
lullabies:“I See Who You Are,” ”My
Dntel, he’s made an irrefutable dud.
sound way up. Following this is a
Juvenile” and “Hope.” Volta will thrill
An album featuring a handful of tal-
string of exceptional songs showcas-
loyal fans as well as those who are
ent, including heavyweights Jenny
ing the band’s growth—guitar trickery,
just discovering her music.
Lewis and Conor Oberst, who add little
neatly syncopated beats, etc.—while
★★★★✩
to the dull hums and glitches of their
still keeping intact the foundations
ION MAGAZINE 44
–Stina Gray
conductor’s arrangements. The oddest
that got the band to where it is to-
thing is that most of the album is or-
day. Looking good Monkeys, looking
ganically based, with acoustic guitars
very good.
and dry vocals taking over Dntel’s
★★★★✩
–Adam Simpkins
mouse drags and clicks. Nothing here matches Tamborello’s past efforts, not by a long shot. Depressing and uninspiring, (this record) is a total drag.
★✩✩✩✩
–Adam Simpkins
tears of the valedictorian frog eyes absolutely kosher I’m kind of scared to review the new Frog Eyes album. Who wants to write about a group that makes everyone at Pitchfork shit their pants every time they commit a note to tape? One small misstep could totally ruin what little indie rock cred I have. Okay, here goes. In a mere 36 minutes, Frog Eyes’ fourth full-length, Tears of the Valedictorian, delivers everything the Victoria band is known for: quirky lyrics writhing with literary references and kooky word play, piano, guitar, drums and bass forming a veritable wall of sound, and Carey Mercer’s melodic and often indiscernible delivery (keep the lyrics handy if you want to understand what this guy’s saying; the first time I heard “Evil Energy the Ill Twin of…” I swore the first 30 seconds were in another language).
ongiara great lake swimmers nettwerk Few artists are able to make your knees quiver and your emotions go all topsy-turvy, but then again, few artists are the Great Lake Swimmers. I once had to describe this album to an old man, but all I could manage to blurt out were comparisons to Neil Young, Douglas Coupland books and other relatively good sad-bastard references. He hadn’t the faintest clue what I was on about, and serves me right. It’s hard to pinpoint a distinct influence or sound on Ongiara. Writer/vocalist Tony Dekker further develops his careful craft of delicate instrument arrangements by including a folksier banjo, rippling vocals and gentle acoustic guitars in the mix. Whether they meant to or not, Great Lake Swimmers have made an album that feels like putting on a warm hippy blanket, but without the smell and crappy political patches. How deliciously comforting.
The album’s magnum opus is the nine-minute “Bushels,” a sweepingly beautiful epic. I’m the first to admit the whole Frog Eyes/Destroyer sound isn’t my thing, but those who are into them will love this record.
★★★✩✩
–Amanda Farrell
★★★★✩
–Patricia Matos
dj kicks hot chip !K7 Instead of having to continually an-
two le dust sucker plong!
swer the agonizing question “What
This album just kicked my ass. Fabian
have you been listening to lately?” the
Grobe and Markus Schöbel have
Hot Chippers decided to let this com-
risen through the ranks fairly quickly,
pilation do the talking for them. Each
sharpening their teeth by remixing
band member takes part in the song
the likes of Funky Heroes and Afrika
selection, lifting tracks from the fresh-
Bambaataa, before issuing the first
ly-pressed (Grovesnor’s “Nitemoves”),
LP ever on Plong. Tracks from that
to buried hip-hop gems (Positive K’s
album have since appeared on Fabric
“I Got A Man”) all the way back to
and Ministry Of Sound mixes, among
classic Soul standards (Ray Charles’
others. With their sophomore release
“Mess Around”). If anything, it shows
(hence the title), these Berlin lads
that Hot Chip draw from a wide range
are set for global domination. Their
of disparate influences, as well as
mixture of funky bass lines, post-rock
owning impressive record collections.
guitars, punchy vocal samples, psy-
But technically, DJ-Kicks doesn’t work
trance synths and random organic
as a great “party” record. The mixes
sounds will make even the most dedi-
are generally sloppy and simplistic
cated anti-electronic man among us
(especially the amateur throw from
forget he’s listening to house (!). The
New Order’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” to
album opener,“School’s Out,” rides
Young Leek’s “Jiggle It”) and the back
a bubbly techno sub-base with light
half gets muddled with some plain
funk pluckings, cheerleader snippets
house tracks that kill the mood. There
and one big ass bell—just to give you
are some notable moments here, but
an idea of the mishmashes involved
great DJs Hot Chip are not.
here. I can see this album having a really negative effect on the local club
–Adam Simpkins
scene, though. When people hear this, everyone will be able to tell just how shitty resident DJ funky house is.
★★★★✩
Filmore Mescalito Holmes
Live albums can really be lame and lacklustre in the sense that, quite often, bands put them out to make a last dash effort at more money while exploiting your love of them. But it can’t possibly be as fun as seeing them live, can it? Maybe. The (International) Noise Conspiracy come kind of close to attaining that satisfying sound on Live at Oslo Jazz Festival. But the saxophone freakouts seem a bit gratuitous, and the Swedish banter means nothing to anyone who can’t speak it, minus the words “politic” and “negative”. There are some shining moments on this disc, two of which are “Bigger Cages, Longer Chains” and “Capitalism Stole My Virginity.” Another notable change is the Ray Manzarek-style organ in the beginning of “Smash it Up,” and that’s reason enough for some to give this album a try. But it’s still disorganized and a bit far from seeing the INC live.
★★✩✩✩
–Patricia Matos
pullhair rubeye avey tare & kria brekkan paw tracks
isolator ep two hours traffic tht
Although this album features Kristín
to as a youngster: 1) Everyone likes
Anna Valtýsdóttir (Múm) as Kria
power pop; 2) The best power pop
Brekkan, Dave Portner stylistically
comes from Eastern Canada. As I
There are two righteous truths I came
dominates Pullhair Rubeye. Dave, as
grew up, my positions on both state-
Avey Tare, is a major player in the in-
ments became veiled and blurred,
die darling Animal Collective. It’s been
sidetracked by club music and the
well established that all releases in
constant string of awards presented
and of that collective are always one
to my favourite indie bands by the
of two things: a challenging collection
Olsen twins and others of that ilk.
of misappropriated pop melodies lay-
Somewhere East of Boundary (read:
ered with dense textures of ambient
Charlottetown, P.E.I.) grows a resur-
feedback and field recordings; or an
gence of melody and musical friendli-
impenetrable wall of random sound.
ness that smiles more than that guy
This album inarguably falls under the
who sells falafels on Davie Street next
latter category. Not that it’s ear split-
to Celebrities Nightclub. Joel Plaskett
ting or otherwise abrasively jarring,
caught wind of Two Hours Traffic circa
Pullhair Rubeye’s impenetrability is
2003, and with his magic maritime
attributed to the fact that just about
wand and dreamy demeanour pro-
every instrument, noise and lyric is
duced the band’s full length debut.
run in reverse. Yes, it’s a solid half-
Isolator stacks a few more Radio 3
hour of Gawd knows what instruments
hits on top of the groundwork laid
and who gives a shit vocals played
down by the debut, and promises to
backwards, yet, as I’m sure several will
relieve those nervous of the sophmore
discover as a major drawback, you
slump. Staged to over-throw the waxy,
don’t get that half-hour back. Unless
weary boredom of Toronto’s Broken-
you’re already an established fan, you
Apostle-Controller-Feist, bands like
will want it back. Some ideas are best
Two Hours Traffic, Smothered In Hugs,
left in the studio.
and Plaskett himself (with his new shoulder-shaking effort) remind us
★✩✩✩✩
Filmore Mescalito Holmes
that the East makes friends in a hurry.
★★★✩✩
–Trevor Risk
ION MAGAZINE
★★★✩✩
live at oslo jazz festival the (international) noise conspiracy alternative tentacles
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TALES OF ORDINARY MADNESS HOROSCOPES COMICS ION MAGAZINE 46
communists in every closet Words Sam Kerr Photography Jason Lang Clothing is a necessity in our society. In the winter it is cold and we need clothes to maintain warmth. In the summer it is illegal to walk the streets with our gens on display, so we wear clothes to stay out of jail. Instead of opting for some kind of uniform, our selfish and wasteful society chose to create an industry that panders directly to our collective want for individuality. People wear different clothes and we call it fashion. When I look out the window I see many unique individuals that are out pursuing their own sense of style, but if one is to take a step back and look at the masses more critically something else appears. The clothing that these individuals wear is not chosen to make them unique or more self-actualized, but for another reason altogether. People wear the clothes that help them fit into particular subgroups of the greater population. In this sense our clothing represents the opposite of individuality. The clearest example of this exists in the business community. Although one is free to wear a blue tie or a red tie, in the business community one has little choice in whether or not to wear a suit. Anyone that thinks suits are just “work clothes” should tell that to the losers at my local pub that “just got off work” six hours ago. Hipsters use the guise of art to make an outfit out of other people’s garbage; surely they must choose clothes that represent their individual sense of style. At first this choice may appear to be made more freely, but sadly one’s status as a hipster
is largely dependent on the “hip” clothes that one chooses to wear. Here we return to the blue tie-red tie scenario. The reason that a hipster buys a print hoodie is not because he thinks that it looks better, but because of his unconscious desire to impress a particular group of people that wear print hoodies. It is impossibly unlikely that all the hipsters in Vancouver simultaneously decided that print hoodies represented their own personal style, yet they all bought them anyway. This trend is nothing more than a new wrinkle in the hipster uniform. The Soviet Union had a bureaucracy that monitored public desire for all types of consumer goods (check out the BBC documentary The Trap by Adam Curtis). Based on a mathematical formula they would determine how many of everything the industrial sector would provide for a given city. With regards to clothing they found a highly unusual trend. A population’s want for a given type of clothing was negatively correlated to its availability. The style of the shoe was not nearly as important to the Russian consumer as was the limited number of people wearing it. The bureaucracy would produce more shoes to match the increasing demand for this particular style, but when the large shipment arrived the shoes would immediately fall out of fashion. But you, my beloved reader, have an individual style right? You picked out your own clothes, using your own taste. You didn’t do it to fit into a category. The problem is that almost all of your clothes are manufactured in China, and mass production di-
rectly opposes individuality. Also, unless you are some kind of fascist, clothing made in a sweatshop by teenage Chinese females should not represent your personal sense of style. Faced with this conundrum you do what everyone else does: buy crap that makes you look like the people around you.
One fact remains, your style does not exist on a shelf somewhere and it cannot be purchased for 60 bucks; so don’t waste your money on that stupid hoodie because it is going to be just another passing fad as soon as the Commies start making more of them.
HOROSCOPES: DANDI WIND Happy Birthday Cancers! The sun is out and it’s BBQ time. Why not take a day trip to Steveston and browse one of the many fine antique shops there—don’t be afraid to spoil yourself with a fish ‘n’ chip meal—you only have one birthday! Like celebrity Cancers David Duchovny, Winston Churchill and Saturday Night Live alumni Jon Lovitz, you will find the summer months to be your most productive and you will find your creativity renewed with the longer hours of sunlight. — CANCER June 22 - July 22
Leo
July 23-Aug 22
May was a tough month full of showers and obstacles. Unfortunately this month will be a continuation of the last with an additional hike up to the peak of the mountain. Remember you can take a time out and reformulate you thoughts. Consider phoning an elderly relative as their wisdom can come in handy at times like these.
VIRGO
Aug 23-Sept 23
You’ve been searching for several months now for that perfect condo to share with a loved one. Well congratulations—with determination and perseverance this will be the month your dream will come true!
LIBRA
Sept 24-Oct 23
SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22
Keep your investments at the forefront of your mind as a stock you’ve long held will now come to a drastic fruition. Be wary of acquaintances
Sagittarius Nov 23-Dec 21 Your hard work on your current assignment has paid off and you will soon reap the dividends of it. Summer is an excellent time to consider a complete wardrobe makeover; go against your tendency to dress down inexpensively and treat yourself to a designer bag or pair of shoes. You’re worth it!
Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 20 In the third week of the month don’t be surprised if a long-forgotten stranger comes back into your life to rekindle a past romance. Go with the flow and let the situation unfold despite your tendency to conceal your emotions.
AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19
Aquarius’ are known for their tenacity so keep a dry-erase board with a list of goals for the next season handy. Each time you achieve a goal mark it off, but don’t be discouraged by the curveballs that life throws at you.
PISCES
Feb 20-March 20
You’ve been pulling long hours
to make way for that busy spring rush—but don’t fret, summer is around the corner! Why not treat yourself to a massage or green tea frappe. And don’t forget to take your vitamins to reduce stress and improve focus.
ARIES
March 21-April 20
Chill out! Why are you moving so fast? Don’t forget to pace yourself and take time to appreciate the little things in life. Why not sit in the park on your lunch break and get a little “me” time in. Here’s a new word for you—chillax!
TAURUS
April 21-May 21
June’s here yay! Those vegetables you planted are finally starting to poke their little heads out. Your diligence really paid off—and your plan to bring a little more nature into the city to clear your mind has succeeded. Keep at it to create your own private sanctuary in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the city.
GEMINI
May 22-June 21
You’ve been incredibly social this last season, staying out well past 11 even on weekdays with co-workers, but resist the temptation of an inoffice romance—love should never bud this close to the water cooler!
Dandi Wind is the lead singer of Montreal-based industrial dance group Dandi Wind.They just wrapped up a successful European tour with big-haired buddies The Horrors and trashed many a venue. Their new album, Yolk Of the Golden Egg, comes out this summer on S.L.U.M. www.dandiwind.com
ION MAGAZINE
You’ve found out six months in that your New Year’s resolution wasn’t as easy to keep as you thought, however it isn’t too late to use that gym membership and get your body swimsuit ready for the summer. Don’t forget your body is a temple and it’s the only one you’ve got!
that will suddenly appear in your life unannounced. Be conscious of these stranger’s intentions.
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