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inside
contents 6.2019
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ROCK ON
Country rock group frontman Lukas Nelson shares his perspective on songwriting, his album debut this month, as well as the mainstream evolution of cannabis legalization. ON THE COVER:
PHOTO BY JOEY MARTINEZ
features
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Historic Talent Jack Tempchin, a well-known songwriter who became famous for crafting tunes for The Eagles, explains how cannabis is an essential creative tool.
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Season of Love Wedding season is in full bloom—discover why countless couples are choosing to utilize hemp in their ceremonies and receptions.
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Working It Out Ultramarathon runners dedicate their lives to breaking the cannabis stigma and demonstrating how cannabis can benefit all athletes.
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Plant Power States across the U.S. are embracing hemp legislation like never before.
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departments news
08 News Nuggets 09 By the Numbers 12 Local News 14 Legal Corner reviews 18 Cool Stuff 20 Entertainment Reviews in every issue 42 À La Carte 44 Growing Culture 46 News of the Weird
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Online Exclusive! d CBD May Treat Heroin Addiction d Germany Issues Cannabis Cultivation Licenses
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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Jamie Solis ASSOCIATE EDITOR Ashley Kern EDITORIAL COORDINATOR Benjamin Adams EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS Matthew Abel, Hilary Bricken, Devon Alexander Brown, Jacob Cannon, David Edmundson. Caroline Hayes, Carl Kozlowski, Alison Malsbury, Emily Manke, Kiara Manns, Madison Ortiz, Denise Pollicella, Nicole Potter, R. Scott Rappold, Ed Rosenthal, Kimberly R. Simms, Lanny Swerdlow, Simon Weedn, Laurie Wolf PHOTOGRAPHERS Steve Baker, Kristopher Christensen, John Gilhooley, Joel Meaders, Mike Rosati, Eric Stoner, Bruce Wolf ART DIRECTOR Steven Myrdahl PRODUCTION MANAGER Michelle Aguirre ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Angie Callahan, Eric Bulls, Kim Cook, Casey Roel OFFICE MANAGER Mikayla Aguilar
CULTURE® Magazine is published every month and distributes magazines at over 500 locations throughout Michigan. No articles, illustrations, photographs, or other matter within may be reproduced without written permission. CULTURE® Magazine is a registered trademark. All rights reserved. 36500 Ford Rd #348 Westland, MI 48185 Phone 888.694.2046 Fax 888.694.2046 www.CultureMagazine.com
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NEWS
NUGGETS
Marijuana Regulatory Agency Announces Speedy Online Approval Beginning on May 1, Michigan medical cannabis patients who apply for a cannabis registry card online can use the approval email as a temporary substitute for a physical registry card. Patients can use the approval email on the same day it’s received. “A process that used to take several weeks now can be done in a single day,”
Marijuana Regulatory Agency Executive Director Andrew Brisbo stated. “We are excited to offer this new online approval option for the state’s medical marijuana patients.” The approval email will be valid as a substitute for up to 10 days until they receive their permanent registry card. That way, patients can buy cannabis with the email and a government-issued ID as soon as they are approved. In order to qualify, a patient’s certifying doctor must have an online account with the Michigan Medical Marijuana Program, and the patient must use the same system.
Petoskey Releases First Draft of Medical Cannabis Rules On May 16, the Petoskey Planning Commission reviewed the first draft of an ordinance that would amend the city’s zoning code, adding specific conditions for medical cannabis under Section 1717. Under the proposed ordinance, medical cannabis facilities would be required to obtain a special use permit and be located in a limited zoning district. Businesses must abide by a 1,000-foot buffer around schools. “In general, the ordinance would allow provisioning centers (number to be determined by City Council) 8
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as a special condition use in the B-3 General Business District and as a possible use to be included in a Planned Unit Development, located no closer than 1,000 feet from a public or private primary or secondary school, and no closer than 500 feet from another provisioning center,” the Petoskey Planning Commission agenda reads. The Planning Commission is set to hold a public hearing on the ordinance language on June 13.
Delaware Lawmakers Introduce Recreational Bill Delaware Rep. Ed Osienski reintroduced House Bill 110 on May 16. This bill aims to allow adults ages 21 and over to purchase and possess up to one ounce of cannabis. An earlier version of the bill was defeated on June 27, 2018, but efforts to legalize recreational cannabis haven’t slowed down. The bill calls for authorities to issue 15 retail cannabis store licenses within 16 months of the bill’s effective date. If passed, it would allow 50 indoor and outdoor cultivation facilities of varying sizes, plus 10 product manufacturing facilities as well. It wouldn’t allow any cultivation athome as seen in other states. “On Thursday, [May 16] I introduced a bill to legalize recreational marijuana, which would establish a new industry that could create hundreds of good-paying jobs throughout the state while striking a blow against the marijuana black market,” Rep. Ed Osienski stated. The new version of the bill follows a task force study on the impact of legalization.
The number of special use permit applications that were submitted to the Grand Rapids Planning Commission in late April: (Source: MLive.com)
The number of applicants, out of 78, who were chosen in a Traverse City lottery to receive cannabis business permits: (Source: Detroit Free Press)
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The estimated number of Michigan residents who have been convicted of cannabis-related crimes: (Source: Michigan Radio)
50,000
The estimated number of medical cannabis cardholders in Michigan, as of May: (Source: Detroit Metro Times)
293,000
The number of attorneys general from various states in the U.S. who agreed that Congress should approve a cannabis banking proposal: (Source: North Bay Business Journal)
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The percentage of women who said that they consume cannabis to ease PMS pain, depression and anxiety: (Source: Daily Mail)
The amount of money, in billions of dollars, that a recent report projects the hemp industry will be worth in 2026: (Source: GlobeNewswire)
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The estimated percentage of New Zealanders who support recreational cannabis legalization: (Source: 1 News Now)
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High Times Cannabis Cup Michigan 2019 WHEN: Sat, June 8-Sun, June 9 WHERE: Auto City Speedway, 10205 N Saginaw Rd., Clio WEBSITE: cannabiscup.com High Times Cannabis Cup Michigan is returning to the Auto City Speedway in Clio for the first year after our state legalized recreational cannabis. Attendees will get a firsthand look at who will win the crown this year in multiple categories. As always, top-of-the-line entertainers will also be present to enchant the crowd and create a celebratory mood. The lineup includes Lil Skies, PROF, Too $hort, Willie J. Peso, TNL
and Trick Trick, with more artists to be announced before the festivities begin. Military discounts are available, and for the real connoisseurs, VIP packages will also be offered as well. Anyone who is 21 or older with a valid state ID from any state is welcome to attend. In addition, patients 18 to 20 years old may attend if and only if they have a valid ID and a valid medical recommendation card issued by the state. CultureMagazine.com
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NEWS
LOCAL
RESTORING TRUST Michigan’s attorney general announces new cannabis legal workgroup
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By Benjamin M. Adams n multiple fronts, Michigan’s new attorney general is taking proactive steps to sort out the mayhem caused by rapidly changing statewide cannabis regulations and the lack of understanding behind them. Since the implementation of the Michigan Medical Marijuana Act of 2008 and the Medical Marihuana Facilities Licensing Act, or Act 281 of 2016, the state of Michigan faced numerous lawsuits from cannabis companies concerning licensing timelines that were allegedly impossible to meet. That led Court of Claims Judge Stephen Borrello to officially rebuke the Department of Licensing & Regulatory Affairs (LARA), calling it “ill-equipped” to issue licenses properly. Under new leadership, efforts are being made to restore faith in the state’s cannabis licensing authorities. Attorney General Dana Nessel was sworn into office on Jan. 1, and is the first openly LGBTQ person elected to a statewide office in Michigan and the second openly LGBTQ person in the U.S. to be elected to state attorney general. On May 7, Nessel announced the formation of a cannabis legal workgroup to fall under the Michigan Department of Attorney General. Nessel herself will chair the group, and they will meet regularly to review, analyze and discuss the complex laws and regulations that govern the recreational and medical cannabis industries in Michigan. The purpose of the workgroup is to promote fair, equal and appropriate implementation of cannabis law, as well as clarification and improvements when necessary. Kelly RossmanMcKinney, communications manager for Attorney General Dana Nessel, confirmed the new group and provided CULTURE with a statement. “We are working hard now to avoid the years of uncertainty, lawsuits and appeals that followed the enactment of Michigan’s 12
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CannaCon Detroit Medical Marijuana Act in 2008,” stated Nessel. “With new laws and regulations on the books, particularly concerning recreational marijuana, I am confident this diverse group collectively has the knowledge, experience, and thus credibility to make recommendations that will be accepted and implemented by all involved.” The initial round of members has already been selected, and the workgroup includes the following members: Robert Baldori, attorney at law Paul Bernier, city attorney, City of Livonia Andrew Brisbo, executive director, Marijuana Regulatory Agency Margeaux Bruner, M.S., CSM, political director, Michigan Cannabis Industry Association; member, Impaired Driving Safety Commission Robyn B. Frankel, assistant attorney general James R. Giddings, former circuit judge, 30th Judicial Circuit Court Daniel W. Grow, member, State Bar of Michigan Marijuana Law Section D/F/Lt. Chris Hawkins, Michigan State Police, Marijuana and Tobacco Investigation Section Robert A. Hendricks, chairperson, State Bar of Michigan Marijuana Law Section Dale (DJ) Hilson, president, Prosecuting Attorneys Association of Michigan, prosecutor, Muskegon County Barton W. Morris, Jr., attorney at law John S. Pallas, assistant attorney general Jonathan Sacks, director, State Appellate Defender Office Adam Sandoval, deputy director, LARA Kenneth Stecker, Prosecuting Attorneys Association of Michigan, traffic safety resource prosecutor The attorney general has also supported federal cannabis bills that would help legitimize the cannabis industry on a national scale. Nessel joined 28 other attorneys general to support the Secure And Fair Enforcement (SAFE) Banking Act (H.R. 1595), which would grant cannabis companies access to banking services. Nessel’s workgroup will make recommendations to LARA, as well as police, lawmakers and prosecutors regarding the legal framework of the state’s cannabis industry. The workgroup’s first meeting took place in April, and more regular meetings will follow shortly. c
After the success of CannaCon Detroit in 2018, one of Detroit’s first landmark cannabis business expositions is back for another round! Business owners, politicians, scientists, news anchors, influencers, farmers, cultivators, nutritionists and manufacturers will attend this iconic event. While the convention focuses on the business side of the cannabis industry, several other facets of the cannabis field will be explored—you don’t have to be a business owner to learn valuable information. Seminars include discussions led by Jin Zhu, Attorney Scott Roberts, Sandra Edwards, Rick Campanella and Chef Shaun O’Neale. Many businesses have been forced to close or reinvent themselves because of Michigan’s rapidly changing laws, but here you can find some of the most updated information that is needed to survive in this competitive and challenging industry. WHEN: Fri, June 21Sat, June 22 WHERE: Cobo Center, 1 Washington Blvd., Detroit WEBSITE: cannacon.org
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NEWS
LEGAL CORNER
LOCAL GROWTH
The importance of cannabis microbusinesses
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By Denise Pollicella
he “marijuana microbusiness” was created as part of Michigan’s cannabis legalization ballot initiative, which passed in November 2018, and the phones of every cannabis attorney’s office have been ringing with calls from eager would-be owners ever since. Let’s take a look at what we know so far about these new businesses, and why once they are accepted by Michigan communities, they could be just the answer many of us have been waiting for. A cannabis microbusiness allows a person to grow, process, package and sell at retail up to 150 cannabis plants, all in one location. It is, first and foremost, a licensed commercial business. It is not part of the unregulated, legal, recreational conduct permitted by Proposition 1, also called the Michigan Regulation and Taxation of Marihuana Act (MRTMA). In other words, you’re not going to be doing this out of your house, and you will absolutely need a state license. You may or may not also need the permission of the municipality in which you want to operate. While unlike the Medical Marihuana Facilities Licensing Act (MMFLA), which requires a municipality to expressly opt-in to the MMFLA and so allows a municipality to passively exclude medical cannabis businesses by simply doing nothing, MRTMA presumably requires action on the part of a municipality to prohibit these businesses. We say “presumably” because the Marijuana Regulatory Agency (MRA), the state 14
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administrative agency in charge of regulating and administering MRTMA, has not yet published the set of emergency rules designed to regulate the commercial recreational industry. We are therefore cautiously operating on a lot of presumptions at the moment. It is also presumed that a cannabis microbusiness license will be somewhat easier to get than the medical cannabis facilities licenses have been, thanks to the language in MRTMA that prohibits any licensing requirements that are “unreasonably impracticable,” which basically means really hard or really expensive. One presumption we should not be making, however, is that communities will welcome cannabis microbusinesses with open arms, even now that cannabis is legal. Although the early rush of hundreds of municipalities to exclude recreational cannabis businesses was generally a preemptive response to the opt-out requirement, the sheer speed and volume of the opt-outs is an early indicator that these businesses will not be an easy sell. However, what distinguishes the cannabis microbusiness from the rest of the licenses could be its best feature and its most attractive selling point. You can only own one. You also cannot own
“One presumption we should not be making, however, is that communities will welcome cannabis microbusinesses with open arms, even now that cannabis is legal.”
anything else, so if you own a cannabis microbusiness, you cannot also own a grow, processor or provisioning center. This means that the cannabis microbusiness will be the traditional mom-andpop, locally-owned business many Michigan residents originally wanted to operate, and the local economic model contemplated by many of the founders of the Michigan cannabis industry. This means that cannabis microbusinesses are not going to be acquisitions targets for “Big Canna,” or big anything, and that they cannot be easily franchised. For the first two years, you have to be a resident of the state of Michigan in order to hold a cannabis microbusiness license. While it is possible that the MRTMA drafters meant for this to restrict ownership to Michiganders, the definition of “person” in the Act includes corporations and limited liability companies, so it is presumed that a non-Michigan resident can open a Michigan company and qualify for ownership. However, we have yet to see the emergency rules, which are due out sometime in June according to the MRA, so there may be additional clarification when the regulations are published. In short, communities may be more welcoming of these microbusinesses specifically because they will be small and locally-owned, and they are designed to stay that way. Together with the fact that they are sure to be less expensive to license and open, and owners will probably not have to compete against larger cannabis operators for these locations, no wonder the buzz around them is growing. c
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3. The Path Don’t know which path to take in life? That’s okay—we have the perfect path for you. No matter if your future is in shambles, follow the journey The Path takes you on. The smoke travels down the device’s windy path, allowing smoke to cool down and filter before reaching your lips. Pack the bowl, and secure your cannabis for transport with the sliding cover. All-in-all, this attractive design is exactly what consumers need to have a more fun and enjoyable smoking experience. Available in black or silver, this will be a welcomed Father’s Day gift for the most awesome dudes in your life. Price: $75 More Information: smokehonest.com 4. Dulytek® 7 Piece Rosin & Wax Tool Set Looking to dab, scrape, slam dunk or scoop cannabis concentrate into your favorite rig? Look no further than the Dulytek® 7 Piece Rosin & Wax Tool Set. Five double-sided food-grade stainless steel tools were expertly crafted to fill every rosin and wax consuming need imaginable. Complete with a set of silicone finger protectors, don’t worry about your wax sticking to your fingertips. When you order it through the product’s official website, the set comes with a product warranty, and satisfaction is guaranteed. This means you can gift this set without any worry of disappointing your giftee. Price: $20 More Information: dulytek.com
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entertainment
RELEASE DATE: JUNE 21 AVAILABLE ON: NINTENDO SWITCH, PLAYSTATION 4 AND XBOX ONE
BOOK
American Hemp Jen Hobbs Skyhorse Publishing Curious to learn more about the sheer potential of the hemp plant? American Hemp delves into what makes hemp a superior product and its various uses from farming to 3D printing. Find out the ways that hemp can benefit the planet, including its ability to remove toxins in the soil and being an ecofriendly replacement for plastics and fossil fuels. Readers will also uncover the many medicinal uses of hemp, plus the complicated legal history of the plant. Complete with a foreword by former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura, American Hemp will give you insight into why it’s high time our nation embraces hemp. (Jacob Cannon) 20
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MUSIC MOVIE
GAME
Crash Team Racing NitroFueled Dev. Beenox Pub. Activision Crash Team Racing (CTR), a PlayStation exclusive that was originally released in 1999, was one of the only decent contenders to Nintendo’s powerhouse kart racing game, Mario Kart—but CTR was a thrilling way to compete with your friends while sabotaging their success (for those who didn’t own a Nintendo console anyway). That excitement is now being replicated in an official remake that comes with a complete overhaul of character and level design, plus a few extra surprises for longtime fans such as online multiplayer and customizable vehicles. (Nicole Potter)
Blaze Dir. Ethan Hawke IFC Films When singersongwriter, country artist Blaze Foley was shot to death at the age of 39 during a confrontation over stolen pension checks, all but a small handful of other musicians and close friends took notice. Over the years though, Foley’s music has become more and more well-known and his popularity grew enough to warrant a biographical film directed by none other than Ethan Hawke. Blaze traces Foley’s turbulent life and musical career as he struggled with substance addiction, homelessness and small successes as a songwriter. The film exceptionally does well introducing viewers to one of country songwriting’s least known geniuses. (Simon Weedn)
Turn Off The News (Build A Garden) Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real Fantasy Recordings A year-and-a-half since its self-titled Fantasy Records debut, Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real returns with a stunning follow up, Turn Off The News (Build A Garden). The record finds the band homing in on perfection of its classic rock meets alternative country style and captures the band at its tightest. Though the album wears the influence of bands like The Traveling Wilburys and Tom Petty proudly, the songs merely use those artists as guide posts to create something wholly new rather than attempting to recreate the past. (Simon Weedn)
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Lukas Nelson talks songwriting, inspiration and his new album release happening this month
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By Simon Weedn For over a decade, Lukas Nelson and his band Promise of the Real have been hard at work honing a country rock ‘n’ roll sound that has roots planted deep in the past but keeps its eyes forward and feet moving into the future. Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real’s bluesy, country rock style manages to sound both vintage and contemporary, and the band draws on many influences but never simply impersonates them. The last five years have seen Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real do everything from recording with Neil Young, appear in, cowrite and co-produce the music of last year’s hit film, A Star Is Born, release two albums of original material with a third out in the next few weeks, and tour extensively all over the world, in addition to also backing Neil Young or performing with Lukas’s father, Willie Nelson. Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real’s self-titled 2017 album rose to number two on the Billboard U.S. Country chart and was nominated for Duo/Group of the Year at the Americana Music Awards, while the soundtrack for A Star Is Born opened at number one on the U.S. Billboard 200 chart. CULTURE had the opportunity to catch up with Nelson recently and hear all about his band’s new album Turn Off The News (Build A Garden) available on June 14, his experience working on A Star is Born, his activism and of course, his excitement about all things cannabis.
PHOTOS BY JOEY MARTINEZ
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How did you all find the time to get this album completed? The actual tracking only took us about 10 days at most. We went into the studio and basically recorded it live; we did three takes of each song and picked the best ones. There was also about an hour of pre-production beforehand where we decided how we were going to arrange the songs and everything. So we actually ended up with 20 tracks done in our first six-day session at ShangriLa Studios. Then we went and did another three-day session at The Village Recorder, where we did our last record, and ended up with another eight or nine tracks. So, we had about 30 total to choose from. Then we just had to narrow it down, pick the tracks and mix 26
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those—and that all happened in the span of the last year-and-a-half. Were the songs on this album written in the last year-and-a-half, or are some of these older tunes you’ve been working on? The song “Mystery” from the record is one that I put out on our first EP ever back in 2009. But that recording was actually the second version of the song, and the one that we’re putting out now is the way I originally wrote it back when I was 18. The only ones we revisited were that one and the song “Something Real” because I really wanted to get another recording of that one down too. The rest of them are new. One big thing that happened for you in that time frame was your
work on A Star Is Born. Was sitting down and writing with a pop star like Lady Gaga a radically different experience for you? Interestingly, when Gaga and I were writing together we seemed to see ear-to-ear, so to speak. She comes from her world, and I come from mine, but she knows jazz music, blues and the roots of music in general. When you know that language, you love a good song, and that’s what I pride myself most on— good songwriting. I don’t like to limit myself to a certain genre when it comes to that. I like a good melody and lyrics that speak to me, and if that’s the case then it doesn’t matter what instrumentation necessarily surrounds the song, how you produce it, or how you present it to the world. It’s all a matter of taste.
You decided to work with John Alagia again for this album. It seems like every release prior to this one and the one before have had different producers. What made you decide to continue working with him? Well, I love John. He’s a good friend of mine, and I like his approach. We’re pretty raw as a band and are more on the Neil Young or The Rolling Stones’ Exile on Main Street end of things. I like his ability to put a polish on our sound when we work together; it really balances out into something great. I think that’s why we work so well together. We both have our approaches, but we both come from the same place and love the same types of music. We both love great songs, and John is an incredible songwriter. In fact, for our new single, “Bad Case,” John and his friend Jamie Hartman, who is also a great songwriter and works at The Village, gave some ideas that I wouldn’t have necessarily thought of to make the song more accessible to people. I want to reach all types of worlds, though not the ones without soul, but I’d like to reach the soul of all genres. From a production standpoint, was there a particular type of sound you wanted to achieve? You know, when I wrote “Bad Case,” I felt Tom Petty. I felt him in my spirit, I was missing him, and it really came out that way. We got Adria Petty to do the music video for it, and it’s going to be fantastic; it’s beautiful. I miss all of the songwriter rock ‘n’ roll of people like The Beatles and Tom and all of the other folks who inspired me. Even
“I don’t think there’s a marijuana enthusiast in the world that isn’t at least a little bit happy now that things are going our way.”
Clapton and Jimi Hendrix had these amazing songs with rock ‘n’ roll in them. They weren’t just great sounding guitars with lyrics masked by production that you couldn’t really hear which seems to be the style happening in this age. I’m not a fan of it. I want to hear what people are saying, and I want the lyrics to touch me the way a good poem does. CultureMagazine.com
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On the topic of lyrics, with a title track like “Turn Off The News (Build A Garden),” was it your intention for this record to be more of a direct commentary on the world we’re in today than some of your previous albums? Oh yeah! But in a way that’s hopeful. My idea while we’re touring on the release of this record is to reach out to all of the farmer’s markets in the towns we play as much as we can and go to the farmer’s market, play for free and encourage the people who attend our concerts to come out and support their local farmers. As a public figure, I feel that I have a way to create the world that I want to see in the way that I can. I’m not advocating turning off the news completely and being ignorant. It’s putting down your phone, turning off your TV for a minute, going out and getting involved in your local community. That way you can be consciously a part of what’s happening in your community, and you can make efforts to ensure that on a local level, things are going well. I think that will trickle into the macrocosm of our society and create a domino effect if we all work that way. Turn Off The News (Build A Garden) is really a call to action. Is it at all challenging for you to find your creativity with so much unrest happening in the world around you? I don’t know if it’s a challenge, no. Creativity is born of inspiration, right? And you can get inspired by something very small. Depending on your level of observation and connectivity to the world you could get inspired by just the way someone looks at you one day. I think creativity is about being present in the world and observing. If things are going well around you, then that’s something else to be writing about. Some of the greatest Motown songs are about being happy. Songs don’t have to be born of unrest. But I actually think unrest provides more material, because it provides the challenge of overcoming challenges. 28
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I’d imagine at the very least it must bring a little bit of solace to see something like cannabis legalization gaining such mainstream acceptance on a national level? Yes. I don’t think there’s a marijuana enthusiast in the world that isn’t at least a little bit happy now that things are going our way. I imagine it’s kind of like the way prohibition was back in the day—when you couldn’t drink, people still drank, and when you couldn’t smoke, people
people won’t be getting arrested and thrown in jail for this little plant like they used to be, especially minorities. I think that’s the best part of the national decriminalization that’s happening as well as the exploring of the medicinal qualities too because it’s really good for you. But really, I think the worst part of it was that people from minority communities were being thrown in jail for something as small as having a joint. Unfortunately, they’re still being thrown in jail for silly things,
“As a public figure, I feel that I have a way to create the world that I want to see in the way that I can. I’m not advocating turning off the news completely and being ignorant. It’s putting down your phone, turning off your TV for a minute, going out and getting involved in your local community.”
still smoked. The irony is that probably a lot less people smoke now because a lot of times people want to do things that are illegal just to feel like they’re giving the finger to the man, especially young kids. I think we’re growing up in a time now where a lot of kids don’t smoke weed, because their parents were stoners, and they want to do the opposite of what their parents are doing. I’m just glad that hopefully
but at least that’s one thing that can’t happen to them anymore. As a son, does it make you proud to see something that your dad has been harassed for and working so hard as an activist on for so long finally being taken seriously as a social issue? Oh absolutely! It’s a complete vindication for him! WILLIE’S RESERVETM is doing fantastic and to have that company now, I’m really proud of him!
Speaking of your dad’s company, I’ve heard you’ve got your own strain out through them. Can you tell me about it? Well yeah, WILLIE’S RESERVETM put out a “Promise of the Real” sativa strain of weed, and it’s great! To get back to the music, you have an all-star lineup of collaborators on this record including Kesha, Margo Price, Sheryl Crow, Lucius, Neil Young and your dad. How did you decide who you wanted to work on with? You know, our friends just kind of came along. We worked with Kesha on a great song that might be coming out on her next record, became friends during that process, and she heard my song “Save A Little Heartache” and asked if she might sing on it. I said, “Yeah! Absolutely!” I’m just really grateful to have a relationship with her, because she’s a super sweet person. I love her very much, and she stands for what’s right. One of my favorite quotes is, “A rising tide lifts all ships.” When you’ve got a community of people of like minds and intrinsic values of how they want to see the world, the music, and the love, it almost doesn’t matter what genre it is; if you can lift each other up then you can make the world a better place with art. c lukasnelson.com CultureMagazine.com
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PEACEFUL AND EASY
Jack Tempchin on songwriting, collaborating with The Eagles and cannabis By Benjamin M. Adams Jack Tempchin is the writer or co-writer of dozens of familiar classic rock songs, including many of The Eagles flagship hits like “Peaceful Easy Feeling” and “Already Gone.” That foray would lead to a decadeslong songwriting partnership with vocalist Glenn Frey, and he co-wrote many of Frey’s most massive hits like “You Belong to the City” that was written for Miami Vice and peaked number two on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart. His composition “Slow Dancing,” his favorite, was covered by many artists including Olivia Newton-John, and it peaked in the Top 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart with a cover by Johnny Rivers. The Songwriter Hall-ofFamer chatted with CULTURE about how songs are formed, the music industry and how cannabis can be a creative tool. 30
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How did it feel to be inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame into 2019, the same year as Cat Stevens, John Prine and other songwriters? It’s been really great. Everybody makes a list: What am I going to do today? What am I going to do this year? What are my life goals? Being in the Songwriters Hall of Fame was never in any of my lists. It didn’t occur to me. But it’s been a big boost getting in there. This is who I am, I suppose. All the crazy things that I did in my life went into these songs.
“We thought [cannabis legalization] would happen so much quicker. It took 50 years from the time I started smoking until the time it happened. It’s still not legal. It’s not federally legal, anyways.”
When you were in the middle of writing “Slow Dancing,” did you know deep down that it was going to be a huge hit? After I’d written it, I played it for some people, and I could feel it when I played it myself. I thought maybe it was a hit. I feel that I really hit the nail on the head. At the time that I wrote the song, I was falling in love with the person that I’m still with. Other songs like “Peaceful Easy Feeling”—I had no idea that could ever be any kind of a hit song. What began your long partnership with The Eagles? About five years before The Eagles existed, Glenn Frey and JD Souther formed a duo called Longbranch Pennywhistle. They had some gigs in San Diego. So when I met them in San Diego, I asked them to stay at my house, which was a large hippie pad with five bedrooms and a candle shop in the garage. They stayed with me, and we became really good friends. My joke is if you want to get into music, just meet a superstar about five years before he gets famous. When Glenn Fry, Don Henley and the others went their separate ways to establish their solo careers, what was your reaction? Well it worked out for me because Glenn said, “Let’s get together and write some songs.” We’ve been really good friends. He had recorded a couple of my songs with The Eagles, but we had never written a song together at that point. That started a 14-year career of me writing songs with Glenn for all of his albums. It was incredible because my friend turned out to be one of the greatest writers of our time. As far as The Eagles, I was never in favor of them breaking up. I always felt like if they get back together, that will be great. CultureMagazine.com
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When Glenn Frey passed away, did it feel like a void was left there? It was tough because we’d been friends for 47 years. I was sitting on the cliff above the ocean, where I go to write songs. I wrote a song about him called “Never Had the Chance to Say Goodbye.” Everybody has people that they lose. It was just so great to have gotten to know him. Your music has crossed over from rock ‘n’ roll into the country industry. How do the industries compare? They’ve always been totally different. In the early days, country was one-tenth of the sales as rock. So when you went to do a show in Nashville, they expected you to record it and mix it in one day like a factory, whereas in rock ‘n’ roll, you’d show up to the studio three hours late and spend two days recording— until SoundScan came on. Then overnight, people realized the actual record sales were different than what was being put on. What comes to you first, the lyrics or the melody? Usually it’s the idea that comes first. You have an idea for a song. Then you think of the title and the music comes with it and you put it all together. The idea—to me—comes first. Have you ever used cannabis as a creative tool when writing songs? Well yeah. Not so much intentionally, but most of the time, for a period of maybe 40 or 50 years I was high for a good percentage of the time. I would write songs when I was high, and then I would write songs when I was not high. I didn’t, however, have to be high in order to be able to write songs. Pot [has] been my friend. Tell us about your line of wine from South Coast Winery. I had trademarked the name “Peaceful Easy Feeling” for wine, and I found the South Coast Winery. They are an award-winning wine 32
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brand out of Temecula, California. They put my name on it, and my wife did the artwork for the label. Right now, I’m looking for an established marijuana producer with a high quality product that is interested in using the name “Peaceful Easy Feeling.” I have a song, and it’s called “I Want Everybody to Light a Joint.”
I rambled down the rainbow road to the Promised Land. A peace sign necklace and a joint burning in hand. They said, “Hey Longhair, you look like a girl.” I said, “I’m get ting free love and changing the world.” I want everybody to light a joint. Are you surprised by cannabis legalization? We thought [cannabis legalization] would happen so much quicker. It took 50 years from the time I started smoking until the time it happened. It’s still not legal. It’s not federally legal, anyways. Why was it illegal in the first place? A mysterious question indeed. None of the reasons make any sense. It’s strange that it took this long. So what’s next? I have a new album I just made with Jerry Nicholson producing. He’s won two Grammys for producing. I used a lot of famous musicians. I think it’s my best album and it’s got a few Glenn Frey songs that I co-wrote with him, one of which no one’s ever heard, [called] “One More Time With Feeling.” I’m pretty excited because I sent two of the songs to Jimmy Buffett’s label, and he heard them personally. He signed me on to Jimmy Buffett’s Mailboat Records. He’s probably having a “Coral Reefer” right now. c www.jacktempchin.com
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GREEN NUPTIALS Hemp is an ecofriendly and growing wedding trend By Caroline Hayes Having a “green” wedding is a fullblown trend, and incorporating hemp into the planning process is an easy way for couples to make less of a negative impact on the planet. Hemp is used to make rope, paper, clothing, food, building material, body products and more. It’s one of the most sustainable, replenishable resources on the planet, and seeking it out over plastics and other mass-produced goods will show wedding guests that brides and grooms have the planet’s best interest at heart. Thanks to the growing popularity and availability of hemp, it’s easier than ever to acquire various goods made of the earth-friendly fiber. Since wedding season is in full force, CULTURE created this quick guide for incorporating hemp into wedding plans by way of invitations, gowns, suits and accessories, decorations, food and gifts. Kick off your hemp 34
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wedding by printing or buying wedding invitations on hemp paper. Green Field Paper Company sells a signature Hemp Heritage paper, which has a rich look and feel. It also offers eco-friendly seed paper that you can plant. Rick Smith, president of the company, told CULTURE, “We source our hemp pulp from Spain, presently. We used to source it from Canada, but they stopped processing and producing fiber in favor of extraction of oil and seeds. No one in the U.S. is processing hemp into the form that can be used for pulp.” Once the marriedcouple-to-be decides on the format and other details, Green Field Paper Company will supply the paper and send the design to the printer. Next, dress the wedding party. There are several websites that offer hemp wedding gowns, dresses and suits. Silk is a common fabric that is blended with hemp, giving dresses an elegant look. Designer Autumn Star of Autumn Star Light on Etsy got into making hemp wedding dresses after she studied textile design in college. “[I] was immediately drawn to hemp as a superior fiber in strength and durability, not to mention the processing is considerably more friendly for our environment,” she said. Autumn is always honored to help brides design their gowns. “It’s such an intimate experience to make a dream dress come to reality for every customer I work with. Making [her] dress tested my sewing abilities and grew the sweetest friendship. I really loved how they incorporated cannabis into their entire wedding theme as well,” she said of a recent dress-making experience.
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Tara Lynn Bridal is an online site that specializes in making hemp and ecofriendly dresses. The company also makes a gorgeous hemp suit that comes in three different styles. The website offers easy steps to ordering a custom-made suit or dress. If you are looking to support a small business, visit a local tailor or seamstresses and order a custom-made suit or dress with fabric purchased from Hemp Traders or EnviroTextiles. Barefoot sandals are a growing trend as all natural and simple wedding accessories. Keri Mikulec of Earth House in New York state makes elegant hemp barefoot sandals for those wanting to ditch the shoes for the ceremony. She also makes colorful necklaces and bracelets that are a fresh update from the hemp necklace you made in high school. Not loving the traditional wedding band idea? Look into hemp resin rings found on Etsy from SerasBeach for an affordable $20. The rings are made using epoxy and leaves from the hemp plant. They truly make a statement. Hemp décor has a DIYvibe that touts boho and earth-friendly feels. Adorn your tables with hemp table runners, and place small sprigs of hemp in the centerpieces. Light up the room with hemp wick candles from the Lit Up Candle Co. Hempmade dreamcatchers and windchimes are easy breezy décor ideas found on various Etsy stores. For a homemade project, paint wooden hearts your color of choice and string them on hemp rope. A fun place to include hemp is in the food as well.
Cook vegetables in hemp oil, and add hemp seeds to desserts and pastries. There are a growing number of companies that specialize in cooking with hemp for hire to cater a wedding. Another new trend is beverage companies that make and sell hemp-infused drinks, with or without alcohol. We are seeing “hemptails” make grand appearances at wedding receptions as well. Rocky Mountain High and Canna Hemp make CBD-infused energy drinks. New Belgium Brewing and Humboldt Brewing Co. brew beer with hemp seeds. Last but not certainly not least, gifts for the bridal party and guests. What better way to say “thank you for being a part of our special day” than to give the gift of hemp-based CBD
body products? Hemptivate makes hempinfused lip balm, delightfully scented body lotion and non-psychoactive CBD tinctures. The company ships to all 50 states and offers wholesale pricing for large orders, making your gifts cost effective yet still meaningful. Like any large event, a wedding can produce a lot of waste. Having a hemp wedding is a way that couples are actively reducing their negative impact on the planet. By incorporating hemp where you can, it can support a small business while encouraging sustainable, ethical and clean farming practices. Hemp comes in many forms and can add a chic, conscious vibe to any celebration. c
“[I] was immediately drawn to hemp as a superior fiber in strength and durability not to mention the processing is considerably more friendly for our environment.”
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Ultramarathoners find purpose through running and cannabis
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“Overall, cannabis products are a great tool to add to my training just like I use protein and BCAAs or coffee.”
Flavie Dokken Ultrarunner and military veteran, Flavie Dokken, has a long history as an athlete. From running in high school to bodybuilding, she has continually elevated herself to new heights over the years. In 2019 alone she has scheduled three 50-mile ultramarathons. “My goal is to complete more challenging and technical races this year and also a 100-miler possibly next year,” she shared with CULTURE. Along the way she has partnered with Wana Brands, an edibles producer, whose mission is to enhance the lives of its consumers physically, emotionally and creatively. Being from the Alps, Dokken’s solace for running resides in the mountains. It is also the landscape where most ultramarathons take place. “Ultrarunning is something that always pushes you and make you stronger mentally and resilient,” Dokken expressed. “And of course, it gives you the chance to discover amazing places!” Over the course of her running career, this wonder
Avery Collins
woman has also worked in the cannabis industry since 2013. An affiliation with a cannabis company appeared to only be a natural step that would combine two of her greatest interests. Dokken detailed her decision in choosing Wana Brands as a partner and sponsor explaining the importance of breaking the stigma around cannabis and its consumers. “I really liked Wana’s approach, and of course I have been a big fan of their products, so they were already part of my regime. It’s a partnership that makes sense since we’ve always shared the same values, and I was definitely looking for an authentic partnership.” Dokken first began using cannabis as a part of her training for bodybuilding. Because the intensity of the sport can be harsh on the body, she experienced relief in treating herself with cannabis. Once she joined the U.S. Army, cannabidiol (CBD) oil came to the rescue to manage pain from femur stress fractures. “Overall, cannabis products are a great tool to add to my training just like I use protein and BCAAs or coffee.” Like other veterans from the military, Dokken turned to cannabis for medical treatment instead of prescription drugs. “When I got back to civilian life, I was looking for a better way to manage the pain and inflammation that still happened after long runs. The army was quick to prescribe pain medication, which I did not want to take. Cannabis became legal, and I got introduced to more products, especially the one containing CBD that could help out.”
“It’s simple. I love running, and I love cannabis.”
“It’s simple. I love running, and I love cannabis.” The words of Avery Collins ring loud and clear. This ultrarunner does not hesitate to emphasize the benefits cannabis has brought to his life and the potential it has to improve the lives of others. Collins has not only served as a spokesperson for 420 Games, he has also been sponsored by Incredibles Infused Products, Mary’s Medicinals, Roll Uh Bowl and Weedmaps. Just a quick glance at his Instagram profile will show his love for the outdoors. His photos showcase his active lifestyle, from skiing in the snow to running through the mountains. The ultrarunner also highlights several of his runs on his own YouTube channel that has documented his journey for the last two years. “I enjoy big mountain races from 50 [kilometers] to 200 miles in distance,” Collins shares on his website. “I have ran and finished first at every distance from 50 [kilometers] to 200 miles and also setting course records in almost all of these distances as well.”
Collins has participated in ultramarathons located in the Black Mountains of western North Carolina, the North Georgia Mountains, Steamboat Springs, Colorado and more! “I do what I do because I can’t imagine a life without adventure, a life without pain and fatigue or something to look forward to every day.” c CultureMagazine.com
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GROWING BENEFITS 40
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From coast to coast, hemp is being legalized and recognized in the U.S. By Nicole Potter
and it will redefine the meaning of “marijuana” to specify that hemp is not the same.
Iowa
Hemp is no longer an undefined term. In fact, information about hemp has become widespread over the past decade. There is more education, more hemp-based products and a more accurate understanding of how the plant works and how it’s different from cannabis. The hemp industry has made many leaps in progress over the last few years alone, with thanks to many researchers and inventors who have crafted products worth investing in. And finally, multiple states have begun to take notice. Recently, a handful of hemp bills were approved. In honor of Hemp History Week (June 3-June 9) we take a look at a few states that have recently made progress on the hemp front.
Thanks to the signature of Gov. Kim Reynolds, the state of Iowa welcomed the Iowa Hemp Act (SF599) on May 13. This means that farmers are legally allowed to use up to 40 acres of land for hemp cultivation. The only caveat is that this change doesn’t immediately take effect. First, the Iowa Department of Agriculture and Land Stewardship will need to create a plan on how to regulate hemp cultivation, which will need to be approved by the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
Alabama
Georgia
Oklahoma
The Alabama Department of Agriculture & Industries approved 216 licenses for those who applied to be industrial hemp cultivators in late-April. According to AL.com, 152 of those licenses belong to cultivators, 59 belong to processors and five were approved for local universities. These licenses were approved thanks to the foundation set by the Alabama Industrial Hemp Pilot Program that was originally established in 2016.
House Bill 213 was signed by Gov. Brian Kemp on May 10. Entitled the “Georgia Hemp Farming Act,” this bill authorizes hemp research and studies, provides licensing and permit requirements for potential hemp cultivators and processors and redefines the term “marijuana.” Currently the state does have a limited medical cannabis program, but all products are imported from other states.
Gov. Kevin Stitt signed Senate Bill 868 on April 18, which will pave the way for industrial hemp to thrive in the state of Oklahoma. The bill allows the Oklahoma Department of Agriculture to control the future of the industrial hemp program, which is expected to be in place by 2020.
Connecticut On May 9, Gov. Ned Lamont signed Senate Bill 893, also called “An Act Concerning A Pilot Program for Hemp Production,” which legalizes industrial hemp cultivation in the state of Connecticut. Through this legislation, an industrial hemp pilot program can now be established. Prior to this bill being signed into law, the only hemp cultivation that was allowed was through state universities and the state’s agriculture department.
Hawaii As of this writing, Hawaiian Gov. David Ige has Senate Bill 1353 on his desk. In late April, a conference committee provided last minute approval of the bill to be passed on to the governor for consideration. Gov. Ige received the bill on May 6, and it remains unsigned as of late May. If it becomes law, it will become the state’s agriculture department’s job to establish an industrial hemp program. It will also remove any contradictory rules that exist under the current hemp pilot program that launched in 2018,
Texas On April 24, Texas legislators approved House Bill 1325, which aims to allow cultivators to legally grow industrial hemp in the state. The legislation was approved by the Texas Senate on May 15.
Washington Legislators in Washington recently passed Senate Bill 5276 into law on April 26 with a signature by Gov. Jay Inslee. According to the new law, a regulatory program can now be established in order to regulate hemp production. Specifically, it will target licensing, inspection and testing of hemp under the USDA. c CultureMagazine.com
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COURAGEOUSLY COFFEE Forest Coffee Trading Company sets the bar high with top-quality beans and CBD Cold Brew
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By Alex Distefano
With just four employees, Forest Coffee Trading Company is finding success and gaining a fan base, thanks to diligence, hard work and a true passion for artisanal coffee—including the company’s special CBD Cold Brew and fresh beans, which are available for purchase online, as well as throughout
the Denver area and other parts of Colorado, at places like Whole Foods Market and Marczyk Fine Foods, as well as numerous local mom and pop coffee shops. What truly makes this Cold Brew coffee special is the beans. Owner Olivia Kidd explained that the idea and concept came from her husband Garrett after a 2012 trip to Thailand. “He came across this village in northern Thailand called Chiang Rai,” she said. “The villagers told him that they used to be poppy farmers for opium until the government made it illegal decades ago, so they had to switch to become coffee bean farmers.” Kidd said her husband was amazed by this story, and once he tasted the coffee, he knew he found something special. “He was just amazed at the flavor profile of the beans and wanted to know where he could find it in the U.S,” she said. “But he found out they didn’t import it into the U.S. So, when he came back, he was obsessed and convinced me about this coffee. We spent a year researching and learning about coffee, importing and learned as much as we could.”
Within three years, the Kidds had found a way to import these coffee beans from Thailand, but made a conscious effort to be direct traders. “We work directly with the village; there is no third party,” she said. “We have a closer relationship; our customers are getting a higher quality product. We have both been there. We can both with certainty say this is exactly where the coffee came from, it’s all 100 percent handpicked, and it makes a difference.” In 2019, Forest Coffee Trading Company is in the early phases of expanding regionally, according to Kidd. “We’re pretty much available only in Colorado, but we just got into a national distributor, so we will be soon available in New Mexico, Utah and other states in the Rocky Mountain region and beyond. Right now, we just sell coffee beans and Cold Brew. With this expansion comes the addition of CBD Cold Brew Coffee, which sees a partnership between Forest Coffee Trading Company and Evo Hemp. “Evo Hemp created a water-soluble CBD that is the coolest thing because there is no taste,” she said. The CBD is purchased from Evo Hemp and specially blended into the Cold Brew Coffee. “My whole concern was that it would [ . . . ] have an aftertaste, which it does not.” Kidd said Evo Hemp and Forest Coffee Trading Company share a similar business model as well. “They are a great company they direct trade their products like we do, so we have a lot in common.”
“People love the CBD Cold Brew. We get a lot of feedback [that] it’s a perfect combo of being mellow and having the energy to get your work done.” Despite its size, Forest Coffee Trading Company sees huge potential and future for the company in the world of high-quality coffee beans and cold brew coffee. “Right now, we are the only single origin cold brew in this region,” Kidd said. “We are the top cold brew in most [of] the grocery stores we are located; our Cold Brew has a distinct flavor profile of cinnamon cocoa and dark berry, because it is from one place.” These coffee aficionados have goals, and bringing CBD consumption and coffee culture together is among one of them. “I didn’t use too much
CBD before,” said Kidd. “But this is perfect, because you get the energetic jolt from the caffeine, but the relaxing effects of the CBD, so it’s a nice balance. People love the CBD Cold Brew. We get a lot of feedback [that] it’s a perfect combo of being mellow and having the energy to get your work done.” Kidd said Forrest Coffee Trading Company seeks to expand at the national level. “We have a goal to be in more retail chains and go national, we want people to find our coffee in California, Florida, Texas, New York and everywhere in between,” he said. “This includes all our coffees and CBD Cold Brews. We want to be known as one of the top cold brew producers in the country.” c forestcoffeetrading.com CultureMagazine.com
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GROWING CULTURE
HIGH ENDS AND NE W BEGINNINGS By Ed Rosenthal
Enjoying the Harvest It’s been more than seven weeks since the winter/spring crop of “Ed Rosenthal Super Bud” has been harvested. It was left to dry in an unheated room with ambient temperatures in the low 60s. After it dried, the plants remained in the room under the same conditions. During this time, the smaller plants disappeared under suspicious conditions, leaving in their place only ashes and temporary conditions of stoned joy. The result: Only the four “larger” plants now remain. These plants will be manicured and destroyed using controlled burns. Expert manicurist, Darcy, soon completed the task. Testing
The four plants were part of a larger group that were just past clone stage when they were replanted and placed in a natural light greenhouse in February. Since the dark period was more than 12 hours, they were triggered to flower immediately and were ripe about eight weeks later. They didn’t have a chance to grow branches before budding. 44
followed. The testers’ evaluations: Marisa: “A deliciously pungent nose: Pine, citrus and melon; sweet and spicy. It has a weird upper high, uplifting, cerebral, in-the-clouds feeling.” Darcy: “Sweet and tangy. One of the totally unique varieties. Now when I smell it, I know what it is, because it’s unlike anything else. Newer strains have lost something that’s in this. It’s more funky, has more terpenes. It’s more crystally and more potent. It tastes like an individual strain. It’s good.”
Starting the New Garden Today we’re germinating an unnamed cross of feminized seed, London Pound Cake x Watermelon, by Loud Seeds. I’ll be testing an oxygenated water system that I built and will describe in more detail next month. For now, we are covering germination. One-hundred-andthirty seeds were soaked for 12 hours in a solution of two ounces of tap water and one tablespoon of three percent hydrogen peroxide for sterilization purposes. The solution was switched to a very
The dried buds being manicured.
The seeds were placed in pieces of rockwool.
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diluted compost tea for another 12 hours before being inserted into a small piece of rockwool so it would stay put, rather than fall through the large spaces between the pebbles. The seed holding rockwool was pushed into a twoinch cup a filled with pea-sized hydro-clay pellets. These pellets hold a small amount of water on their surface, but they also have colloidal action, meaning that they wick up water, much like a tissue. As they lose water to roots or evaporation, they can pull it up from a pool below and transfer it between pellets. I’ve placed the cups in a two-foot x fourfoot tray that was filled one-inch deep with a three-part germination solution, as recommended on the fertilizer label. A four-foot, four-tube HO (high output) T5 fluorescent reflector hangs over the table and provides bright, but not intense light. I’ve placed a cover consisting of plastic wrap over the top of the tray to keep the germination area moist. It will be removed after as soon as the seedlings appear. In a few weeks the plants will be ready for more intense light and a stronger fertilizer mix. c
The pile of dried buds. A nice little treat that took virtually no effort.
The rockwool was positioned between pebbles in the cup.
Jarred buds with a moisture pack to keep them fresh.
The cups were placed in the tray and one inch of nutrient/water solution was added. The water will travel up the hydro-corn using capillary action.
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NEWS of the
WEIRD
BY THE EDITORS AT ANDREWS MCMEEL
LEAD STORY—FLORIDA! Police officers in Indialantic, Florida, responded to at least seven calls about a man disturbing the peace on April 7. Patrons of Starbucks and Sassy Granny’s Smoothies, among others, were startled when 61-year-old Thomas Devaney Lane started yelling, calling himself “the saint” and threatening to unleash his army of turtles on the community. According to WKMG, Lane went along with an officer to the police station, where he screamed at the dispatcher and pounded on the walls, but then left the building. He was located later at a 7-Eleven, verbally assaulting customers. As officers stood by, Lane called 911 and told the dispatcher, “I need to leave now or you will all be sorry you (expletive) with the saint.” Lane was charged with disturbing the peace, resisting arrest without violence and misusing 911. THE WAY THE WORLD WORKS In Nashville, Tennessee, as the NFL Draft was taking over the town, brides and bridesmaids celebrating bachelorette parties were confounded by the crowds. WZTV reported on April 25 that the influx of crazed football fans was cramping the style of several groups: “We come here to listen to country music, not hang out with football boys,” pouted a bride named Cara. 46
“I’ll tell you who’s going to pay for this. My husband. No football next season,” threatened a bridesmaid named Cyndi. But a bride named Savannah was more Zen about the situation: “We’re gonna make the best of it. It is what it is.” INEXPLICABLE The Lankenau Medical Center in suburban Philadelphia was the site of a break-in on the morning of April 20, but it was the stolen loot that leaves us scratching our heads. Two men and a woman stuffed several colonoscopes worth $450,000 into three backpacks. The scopes are used to examine colons during colonoscopies. “This is not something that a typical pawn shop might accept,” said Lower Merion Police Det. Sgt. Michael Vice. “My feeling would be that it was some type of black market sales.” He also told WCAU that it’s not yet clear whether it was an inside job. YOU KNOW YOU’VE THOUGHT OF IT United Press International reported on April 25 that the Arizona Department of Public Safety arrested yet another driver using a dummy in the passenger seat to cruise in the HOV lane along State Route 202. “Don’t let this be you,” the department’s Twitter feed warned. The mannequin in this case was dressed as a woman. AWESOME! Idahoans embraced the Big Idaho Potato, a 28-foot-long steel-andplaster potato constructed in 2012 to mark the Idaho Potato Commission’s 75th anniversary. It’s been
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traveling the country ever since, promoting Idaho’s biggest crop, and the plan was for it to be retired this year, when Big Idaho Potato 2.0 arrives. But Kristie Wolfe had better idea. The tiny house builder has converted the sculpture into a single-room hotel (aptly called the Big Idaho Potato Hotel), reported USA Today. It features a queen bed, two chairs and a bathroom with a whirlpool and skylight for stargazing; Wolfe lists it on Airbnb for $200 per night. “It’s a way of inviting people to experience Idaho in a unique way,” remarked Frank Muir, CEO of the Idaho Potato Commission. THE HIGH PRICE OF VANITY A “vampire facial” is a procedure during which blood is drawn with a needle and then “spun” to separate the plasma, which is then injected into the face. For customers of a spa in Albuquerque, New Mexico, though, the most lasting effects may come after a blood test. The state’s Department of Health is urging customers of VIP Spa, which closed in September 2018, to undergo HIV testing after two people were infected following treatment there. Dr. Dean Bair of the Bair Medical Spa said people should always make sure they’re going to a licensed facility for such procedures. “This is just the worst example of what can go wrong,” he told KOAT. The spa closed after inspectors found the spa’s practices could potentially spread bloodborne infections, including
hepatitis B and C as well as HIV. SMOOTH REACTIONS An unnamed Ogden, Utah, woman who accused her boyfriend of cheating added emphasis to the charge in a most unusual manner on April 27, according to a Salt Lake County Jail report. The 23-year-old was with her boyfriend in the parking lot of a strip mall in Sandy when she “took her clothing off as she accused the boyfriend of cheating . . . The incident took place in a busy public area with constant vehicle and pedestrian traffic.” KSL reported the woman told police she stripped because “her boyfriend doesn’t want her anymore.” She was arrested for disorderly conduct and lewdness involving a child. FAMILY VALUES A 33-year-old man from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, was arraigned April 29 on two counts of abuse of a corpse and one count of criminal mischief after he flushed his grandparents’ ashes down the toilet. The Tribune-Review reported that Thomas Porter Wells was living at his mother’s house when she became fed up with his drinking and cannabis use and asked him to leave last September. Denise Porter told police she learned from a relative in February that Wells had disposed of her parents’ remains, which had been stored in a box as part of a memorial in her bedroom, before leaving. Wells denied flushing the ashes, but he later texted his mother that he would flush her remains, too, after she died.
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