Devendra K. Choudhry A Life That Touched Many Lives
KIRAN DEVENDRA
Devendra K. Choudhry A Life That Touched Many Lives
For our son
Divyamanu
Papa was proud of you and I continue to be proud of you
Š Kiran Devendra
ISBN 978-81-922126-7-8
First Published in 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Publisher. Photographs in this book are a part of author’s personal collection and some are of the IGNOU functions.
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Gratitude Blessings of Papa, Bauji, Kunti Mummy, Devendra, Munna didi, Sudhir and Sushil For continuous support • Mummy. • Anand, Zenobia, Ashok, Queenie, Gauri, Sudin, Gayatri, Azad and Gyan for their genuine concern and unparalleled support on a regular basis. • Divyamanu for number of calls a day to ensure that I am alright and ‘Mom you have always been positive, you cannot give up now.’ Priya’s effort in finding things to provide physical comfort to me. • Munna didi’s family, Ruchey, Narendra, Rekha, Rano, Shreshtha, Raj Bhai Saheb and Harsh. • Om Uncle, Kaushalya Auntie and Uncle Krishan for their concern and all family memebers. • To all our cousins. • Dr. Zainab Aswat. • Rajeev & Neeta Malhotra. • Late Uncle Derek Harrington Hawes for encouragement. • Richard Bhaiyya and Lucy didi for their concern and regular phone calls from London and Isle of Wight. • Late Prof Amrik Singh and Mrs. Amrik Singh. Mrs. and Prof S.M. Tuli for always being there. • Rambo, my pup, for wiping my tears by trying to hold my neck with his little paws and putting his face next to mine whenever I had emotional breakdowns or I was ill. Queenie and Gayatri gifted Rambo to me. I could not have managed Rambo without Priya and Manu.
Acknowledgements For unlimited concern Late Prof Ravinder Kumar, Prof Kulandaiswamy, Prof A.W. Khan, Prof Ram Gopal Bajaj, Prof Daljit Gupta, Prof K.K. Vashishtha, Prof G. Ravindra, Prof S.R. Mehrotra, Dr. Warren Mellor, Shakti Sinha, Mandip Brar, Mrs. & Mr. O.P. Singh For being a life line and responding all the time Prof M.P. Sharma, Dr. Ved Gupta, Dr. Ashok Khurana, Dr. Rajnish Sardana, Dr. Rajeev Khosla, Dr. Harsh Dua, Dr. Vineet Ahuja and Col Sandeep Thareja For concern about my health and lonliness Prof Parvin Sinclair For helping me address issues of my health Dr. Amit Sachdev, Dr. Abhinav Singh, Dr. Himanshu Didlani, Dr. Mukul Varma, Dr. Rajiv Mirchia, Dr. Manoj Johar, Dr. Vaibhav Gupta, Dr. Anurag Sharma and Dr. Pankaj Sahu For sharing my grief Friends, academicians, officers, staff of IGNOU Headquarters and all the Regional Centres and all my colleagues at NCERT for reaching out to me. For going through the manuscript Prof Vijay Kapur, Jayshree Oza, Sandhya Paranjpe, Manju Jain, Lata Pandey, Kavita Sharma, Anil Sethi, Jason Pennells and Pawan Sudhir. For bringing out the book Team Ishtihaar for their spontaneity, sensitivity and large heartedness to accommodate till the manuscript went to the press. Assistance Suresh Azad, Shakambar Dutt Bhadula, Vijay Kumar, Ravi Kumar, Rakesh Agrawal, Sadiq Saeed & Jasmeet Singh.
Contents Foreword
9
Devendra – A Life
13
The Challenge of Pain
17
A Role Model
29
‘...a wonderful humane person’
33
‘...we truly miss him’
41
A Child at Heart
51
Compassionate Colleague
61
A brave-heart
77
Manu was his world
89
Happy and Contended
105
Picture Gallery
115
Foreword It was in January 1988 when I visited the Regional Services Division, IGNOU for consultations prior to taking over the responsibility of Regional Centre Ahmedabad, that I first met Dr. Devendra Choudhry in the chamber of the Director, late Dr. S.N. Chaturvedi. It was a brief meeting but an important one as it turned out to be the starting point of an excellent lasting relationship. I was impressed by his dynamism and the attitude of reaching out to people. The relationship grew stronger and more intimate with every interaction thereafter, leading to lasting family bonds. Dr. Choudhry was a man of sterling virtues: love for the family, love and respect for colleagues (seniors as well as juniors), the attitude of reaching out and helping people in difficulties even at the cost of considerable personal inconvenience, extraordinary warmth and integrity in interpersonal relationships, strong commitment to the institutional cause, exemplary courage in the face of adverse circumstances, resourcefulness and insight in problem-solving, and a very high sense of duty. He was also a man of indomitable will. A major accident in early life had almost immobilised him for a year and a half, but could not prevent him from accomplishing his academic tasks. The after effects of that accident continued to bother him till the end, but he never allowed them to affect his performance, his happiness and sense of satisfaction. He was the second eldest among six children (four brothers and two sisters) of his illustrious parents. I have seen in him a continuity of concern for all members of the family till his last days. In IGNOU, especially in the Regional Services Division, he proved himself to be a great asset and a source of strength and enlightenment to his colleagues. In the initial phase of the development, he was assigned
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 10
the challenging task of creating the student support network in Delhi which had the highest enrolment in the country, he accomplished the task in an exemplary manner, bringing in eminent organisations and people. Later, as the Director, Regional Services Division, he endeared himself to the staff of Regional Centres across the country and as Pro Vice Chancellor he continued to reach out to everyone in all the Regional Centres, study centres, a large number of students and their families. Dr. Kiran Devendra has always been the second self of Dr. Devendra Choudhry, for Dr. Kiran Devendra, Dr. Choudhry was her second self. She has tried to put together all that she could recollect in the following pages which brings out the multi-faceted personality of Dr. Choudhry. Death is a certainty in human life, the Upanishads tell us: “maa mrityoh udgaat vasham” meaning ‘do not get overpowered by death’. Dr. Choudhry lived his life in such a manner that by the time his physical body breathed its last, he had gone far beyond, into the realm of immortality. I am sure people aspiring for love and respect of their families, friends and colleagues will get an inspiration from Dr. Choudhry’s life.
Prof P.K. Mehta Former Pro-Vice Chancellor, IGNOU
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Devendra would discover happiness in: ™ watching colourful butterflies, birds and movies
together ™ looking at strengths of each other and supporting
each other in low phases ™ having a collection of nice tea bags and having tea
together ™ going out, arguing, but patching up quickly ™ finding it difficult to stay without each other ™ providing support to each other and family
members when there is need, not interfering in their personal affairs.
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 12
1
1: Devendra smiling on extreme left – with his grandfather, parents, his elder sister and three younger brothers 2, 3 and 4: Devendra’s parents 2
4
3
Devendra – A Life
W
henever I am reading a book I become sad when only a few pages are left to be read. Somehow I console myself that I would have one or two days more to read till the last page comes. Finally, when the last page comes, I finish the book, I feel sad, after having another look at all the paragraphs or lines which I have underlined, I keep away that book consoling myself again that it is with me, I can read it again and again when I feel like. I keep doing this with many classics like The Flight of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Tuesdays with Morrie, The Little Prince, The Miracle of Positive Thinking, Stop the Excuses, Rommel, Good Earth, Walden, The Railway Children and several others. Devendra and I would discuss books, read out to each other the lines, paragraphs or poems which touched us deeply. Both of us shared our fondness for reading and books. Devendra would discuss articles and editorials as well. This kind of feeling grips me when I leave a room, its beautiful surroundings whenever on a tour or wherever I went with my husband on a holiday. I consoled myself each time with a hope that these places would be revisited by both of us. I was shocked and numb on the morning of November 13, 2010 discovering Devendra not responding to my ‘Good Morning’. I kept on thinking positively till I realized that he was actually not breathing. I collected myself, made an effort, the most difficult one, to remember some of the phone numbers so that I could inform my son, my brothers, Devendra’s brother and few close friends. I controlled my emotions till my son broke down inconsolably. I kept on comforting him. It was
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 14
then that I realized and was convinced that I had lost my soul mate, my best friend, my husband forever and that there will never be a situation when I would see him, talk to him, argue with him, laugh with him and enjoy all the things which we shared and loved to do together. I was angry with God. To be candid, I kept on losing my strong faith in God. My friend Ved gave me a book to read. Reading Kushner’s ‘Why Bad Things Happen to Good People’ calmed me down to some extent. I was aware that Devendra had touched many lives in a positive manner. I was slowly getting convinced that he would be under God’s care, he must have gone to some place which would be better than this world. I told myself that if he is under God’s care then I have not really lost him. I can see him in happy children and good human beings as they will continue to remind me of him. Even now this comforts me, however temporarily, whenever I have an emotional breakdown, sometimes several in a day. I have been breaking down at airports, morning walks, at home and in office. Everyone has been telling me that ‘time is a big healer.’ I do not find it to be true as with the passage of time, I find that what I have lost is irretrievable and my breakdowns have increased. I sometimes have a strong feeling that God will bless Devendra and that he must have been reborn as a happy child in a family which is blessed, as this child will bring happiness to them. On growing up, he will go on to make them proud. I convince myself that his memories would remain my cherished treasure. I felt a strong urge that I needed to keep him alive somehow. The only way I could think of doing this was to write about him and let, as many people as possible, know what a fine human being he was. Sharing with others his special qualities, such as, ways of being kind, compassionate and humane which would make many realize that it is possible to find time for others in spite of one’s hectic schedules. Devendra was the second child to his parents Shri Satyadev and Shrimati Kunti Devi in Chhatehra, a village in Haryana. The family had to move to Amritsar where his father, a Sanskrit scholar, was appointed Principal of Sanskrit College at Ganda Singh Wala near Amritsar. His father made a great effort to read and understand English newspapers. He later worked for an insurance company, but retained his reading habit. His mother started teaching Hindi in Sacred Heart School, Amritsar.
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 15
As a child Devendra went to St. Francis School for four years. The family moved back to the village when his grandfather passed away. He studied in the village school for four years and once again came back to Amritsar with his family, this time to study in DAV school. The frequent change of schools did not bother him at all as he did not consider it difficult. He had a happy face which exuberated his inner happiness and sense of contentment. This helped him to accept any and every thing that came his way. He had a positive attitude and an infectious smile which was a part of his personality till the last day of his life. From the village, Devendra brought a few small tin boxes in which he had collected children’s magazines like Chandamama, Champak, Parag and pictures of cricketers and some leaders. He asked his mother to give him a small wooden almirah to keep his things. She reluctantly agreed since she must have found it difficult to adjust other household essentials. Devendra got hold of some paint and a brush from the neighbour’s house, where whitewashing and painting was going on, to write his name in bold letters on this almirah. In Amritsar, he started collecting newspaper clippings on cricket matches, lives of Jawahar Lal Nehru and John F. Kennedy and write-ups on both of them. These personalities were his favourites. He was meticulous and hard working right from his childhood. He used to feel very proud of his collection which kept increasing every month. He treasured this collection till he graduated and went on to Kurukshetra University to do his Masters. Against odds, he worked hard and secured a second position in the university. Later, he once again started to collect research articles, rare books, editorials from newspapers, articles and write-ups which he would browse occasionally, but surely.
A key-ring memento which picked up for Devendra from Halifax, Canada
The Challenge of Pain
D
evendra and I met during an interview at Kurukshetra University in 1975. I received a letter from him a week later in which he wrote, ‘if you are not already engaged or in love with some one, I wish to propose to you.’ This is how he proposed to me, and I agreed. When he came to Shimla to meet my parents, they took an instant liking to him. I had my parents’ approval to marry him. Devendra’s parents also agreed. There was an affectionate relationship between Devendra’s family and my family throughout. After thirty-four years and seven months of marriage, I have a great sense of satisfaction that both of us adjusted very well to each other and to our families without much of an effort. Both, Devendra and I, had a very good understanding at the mental, academic, social and emotional levels. We were over dependent on each other emotionally. He used to tell me ‘I have no worries as long as you are there.’ I used to reciprocate his feelings by letting him know ‘you are my strength.’ How I wish that when he was leaving this world for the next, I could somehow tell him that he would not be lonely in the next world, as a part of me would also go with him. Our levels of sensitivity were similar, there was almost a telepathic vibe in everything that we did. We used to look into each other’s eyes and one of us would smile and say to the other ‘How did you know I was also thinking this only? Or I thought the same!’ I learnt a lot from him – something that has improved my quality of writing is the fact that I learnt from him the strength of looking for
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 18
mistakes in one’s own writing. This I follow even today as I keep revising what I write till I am happy with it. I would never ever forget how meticulously Devendra used to work for his Ph.D. thesis in the library, come home and sit through the night to arrange his research cards and put his learning and understanding into writing. He never ever said he was tired or exhausted. He was managing his Ph.D. thesis, together with finding ways of playing with our four-year-old son, cooking, joking and having discussions with both his Ph.D. supervisors. He managed all these while still on his crutches for one year and eight months. Devendra had met with an accident in 1981 when I was teaching in Punjabi University, Patiala. Our son, Manu was four-year-old. After several surgeries Devendra returned to the University and started work for his Ph.D. thesis though he was confined to his crutches for any movement. He would spend his entire day in the library reading and writing. At night he would arrange and rearrange the material till early morning hours. He put all this effort, even with his pain and discomfort, to make sure that his writing, research cards, articles and books were in a proper order. He had blisters on his hands and underarms because of continuous use of crutches, but he did not ever give up. His thesis on ‘Functional Patterns of Commercial Classes in Punjab: 1881-1914’ was considered as a masterpiece of both academic and intellectual scholarship. Not only did he do his own work by overcoming the pain and discomfort of multiple kinds, he helped me a lot in collecting references, preparing footnotes and bibliography for my Ph.D. thesis ‘The Government of India and the Position of Women: 1947-1975’. Even while managing his crutches, Devendra also used to cook vegetables to lighten my load while I took my M.A. and M.Phil classes in the Department of History, Punjabi University where I was a lecturer. I took IAS classes as well in the university. For my students I had to give weekly radio talks on the subject on All India Radio, Chandigarh. I was also working on my Ph.D. thesis. The thesis has since been published as ‘The Status and the Position of Women in Society: 1947-1975’, in 1985 and published by Vikas Publications in 1986 and 1994 as ‘The Changing Position of Women in India’. It has had three editions, the third one was both in paperback and hardback.
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Two of the books used by Devendra
Devendra put thick covers on photo copies of articles and wrote the titles on them
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Those who have known Devendra, know that his life did agree with Schutz’s philosophy: Always keep your many interests - they will allow your mind to remain energised. Always keep your positive outlook - it will give you strength to accomplish great things. Always keep your determination - it will give you the ability to succeed in meeting your goals. Always keep your excitement about whatever you do - it will help you have fun. Always keep your sense of humour - it will allow you to take risks and not be afraid of failure. Always keep your sensitivity - it will help you to understand, do something about injustices in the world. Susan Polis Schutz
Devendra used to cook and make dishes in a very creative manner which were presented in style. These always looked tempting and tasted delicious. He had many other interests. He was fond of collecting good colourful kites. He used to fly kites with children in village, in Amritsar and in Asian Games Village. Over the years he perfected himself in kite flying. Devendra was fond of swimming and always found time for it, wherever there was a swimming pool. He felt refreshed after a swim. He was happy that in Indonesia’s Bintan Islands’ Angsana Resorts, our room was facing the swimming pool. Where he swam on both the days of our stay. He was perfect at horse riding. He could calm down even the most difficult of horses to enjoy his ride. Devendra had the best of times in Kaziranga & Kanha sanctuaries; on the river cruise in Brahamputra, Mandavi, Teesta and Thames; at Dubai, Abu Dhabi and London; visiting temples, gurudwaras, churches monastries and dargahs. Devendra was fond of sports and actively participated in them during his days at school, college and university. He encouraged Manu to go in for sports. He did not forget to encourage his university employees as well who participated in various events.
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 21
1
2
1: Devendra encouraging the university employees on Sports Day 2: Devendra after a swim at Bintan’s Angsana Resort, Indonesia
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 22
Picking up the most beautiful objects of art from rural and urban areas gave Devendra a feeling of joy. Some of these were – a coconut with three Ramayana scenes painted on it, a wooden partition from Orissa with many colourful wooden animals on it, paintings and furniture from Rajasthan and several other beautiful things. Some of these were very artistic statues of beautiful and unusual Ganpatis – a simple looking Ganpati from Port Blair made out of the wood from which ships are made, antique art pieces from Mussoorie and other places. He had a taste for beautiful things and an eye for small details. He made the hardest of efforts to get these to Delhi – carrying himself a heavy gray stone Ganpati and a heavy green granite Ganpati from Mahabalipuram with great care to the cabin of the aircraft to ensure that these did not break. In his briefcase there was a ball with a ‘smiley’, a Tulsi (basil) string with 108 beads, a few ten rupee notes which were neatly tied in a rubber band and a key ring which I had picked up for him from Halifax, Canada in May 2010. He was fond of picking up books from the roadside and shops which sold old and rare books. I have since given some of these to IGNOU library as “Dr. Devendra Choudhry Collection” and some to his admirers. I have kept with me, for the time being, Adolf Hitler’s, ‘Mein Kampf (My Struggle)’ and a few other books. Photography was Devendra’s passion. He had taken some of the most beautiful pictures of river Teesta and Rumtek Monastery. He video-recorded a one-hour show of the Dolphins at Sentosa Island during our visit to Singapore and other places that we visited in our country. He had the knack of cracking jokes and the courage to crack jokes on himself. He had the art of telling stories, reciting poetry and Urdu couplets. He loved to dance on English numbers, Punjabi and Haryanavi folk songs. Munna didi, his elder sister, learnt classical dance and singing from a teacher at home. As a school going child, Devendra learnt to play tabla to support his sister in her endeavour to excel in singing and dancing. He enjoyed it thoroughly and was very proud of his sister, who with her husband were declared the best couple at every army posting. He was happy that Munna didi’s husband had engaged ‘Khan Saheb’ to help her in riyaz (practice) for years. Munna didi sang beautiful ghazals and bhajans. I am happy to learn that her daughter Aparana has picked this up from her mother. I learnt about it after Devendra’s passing away.
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Devendra loved collecting artefacts and knick-knacks during his travels. A collection of some of those which were picked up by him.
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 24
Devendra loved photography. He always carried a camera and a handycam with him during his travels. These are some of the pictures taken by him at Ranakpur Jain Temples near Udaipur.
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Had he a clue to it in his life time, he would have been very happy! Munna didi’s son, Gautam working as Chief Engineer of a ship would have made Devendra proud, had he learnt that Gautam cancelled his sanctioned leave on receiving a message from his company that his fellow Chief Engineer had lost his father. Gautam’s quick decision to help his co-worker was supported by his father, a retired Army officer and his wife Tarannum. Devendra loved his younger sister Ruchira whom he lovingly called Dodo, a bird now extinct. He never ever forgot to remain in touch with his sisters. He was equally fond of his three younger brothers and continued to find how they were. Devendra believed that ‘pain is an indication of being alive’. He gave meaning to pain and discomfort by remaining positive and tolerant. At the same time he realized with sensitivity, the pain and discomfort of others. He either tried to make them realize that it would pass off, or to those who were intolerant and cribbing, he enquired from them as to how would they feel better and then provided support and comfort as desired by them. He was one of those rare people who could cope with so much of pain, discomfort, emotional stress by doing something meaningful and with a sense of purpose. He accepted challenges as opportunities. This must have nurtured, both his determination and mental strength, which helped him to make an effort to remain focussed to complete his Ph.D. thesis in such difficult physical condition together with the stress of having lost his job as a lecturer at Kurukshetra University. By gracefully accepting difficult situations, and, diverting his attention from pain and discomfort, Devendra kept on convincing himself that his Ph.D. thesis would be of a high academic standard. He
Devendra with his younger sister Ruchey, Manu and me
Devendra’s brothers (from left to right) Narender, Sudhir and Sushil
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 26
With Prof Ravinder Kumar, Former Director, Nehru Memorial Museum and Library, Delhi
With Prof Amrik Singh
was also constantly reminding himself that he would surely get a good job and that he would be able to play with our son once he got better. He never ever let his illness or accident affect the normal functioning of our home. He never made himself, my son or me feel miserable by cribbing, grudging or complaining about his pains, aches and continuous dental problems. He finished his Ph.D. thesis on the crutches. After his accident, he had serious and painful dental problems, besides pain and swelling in his left leg from 1981 till he passed away, yet he never talked about these. His commitment to his work was so immense that he allowed nothing to interfere with it. He boldly faced the death of his two younger brothers, his elder sister, the ailments of his mother and father and their deaths. I found it difficult to believe that he would be in office the next day after cremation or visits to Haridwar for immersion of the ashes of his family members and of his Supervisor, Prof Ravinder Kumar. Ten days after his mother’s death, Devendra with low emotional threshold, went for Prof Amrik Singh’s funeral as he had great respect for him. I told him that he would exhaust himself, but he was determined. Devendra did pay his last respects to the departed soul. Devendra’s firm belief was in Arnold Schwazenegger’s words “Strength does not come from winning your struggles. Develop your strengths, when you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 27
He exhibited an unending tough fighting spirit after his accident, fourteen surgical operations, bereavements in the family, or when he was professionally low and even when some of his close family members questioned his decisions about his mother’s treatment. He believed that the decisions he made were ethical and objective from the medical and from a son’s point of view. I used to get upset but still he reminded me that we were the eldest in the family and should not ever think of stooping low by losing grace and that we would do this duty with dignity. Nevertheless, whatever the situations, Devendra found out a way of facing every turmoil and upheaval with dignity. During such periods, Devendra and I used to read Mother Teresa’s You and God to find solace and peace. Devendra not only believed in this philosophy but also practiced it in family and work situations. He would tell me that we have to keep making effort every day to rise above ourselves. YOU AND GOD...... People are often unreasonable. Irrational, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse You of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and sincere, People may deceive you; Be honest and sincere anyway. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight; Create anyway If you find serenity and happiness Some may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, Will often be forgotten Do good anyway. Give the best you have , And it may never be enough; Give your best anyway. In the final analysis, It is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway. Mother Teresa
A greeting card from his teacher Prof V.N. Dutta
A Role Model
V
ictor Frankyl’s Man’s Search for Meaning is so true in case of Devendra, that a man can maintain his dignity in any and every kind of situation. It is hope that makes a human being patiently undergo endless physical, mental and emotional traumas. As a matter of fact, it was hope and positivity that gave Devendra strength to bear the worst and still look forward to better situations. He never gave up as he never lost hope. It was his hope that things would begin to look up that kept his spirit alive. Devendra reminds me so much of his similarity with Richard Bach’s Jonathan Livingston Seagull’s story. He had unique qualities of taking a stand when everyone else conveniently avoided, making untraditional choices and bold decisions, valuing freedom, striving for perfection and sharing his experiences to create enabling situations for many. He kept on discovering something new everyday. Devendra was a very positive role model for our son. He was very fair and never discriminated either at work or in the family. When my father wanted to visit Shimla for the last time, Devendra insisted that our son went with him as my father was suffering from Motor Neuron Disease. I tried to dissuade him because his own father was literally on death bed. Devendra justified it by saying that while his father was with his mother, two brothers, sisters and many grand children in the village, my father was going alone to Shimla, and therefore, needed Manu more. He was genuinely concerned about my father whom he considered as his friend who
A LIFE THAT TOUCHED MANY LIVES — 30
always inspired and motivated Devendra. After my father’s passing away he missed him every day. Devendra was not a rich dad but he was rich in his values and actions. He was generous and large hearted. Manu used to drive our new Maruti 800 car when he was doing Masters from St. Stephens College. When Manu got a job with CNBC and later with CNN-IBN news channel, he would drive a Maruti Esteem. Both these cars were bought on installment payment plan. I must mention that Devendra was Director, Regional Services when he used to drive a Maruti 800 to office on weekends, the first new car of his life, while the Joint Directors, Deputy Directors had fancier ones. They would tell him, ‘Sir koi aur gaarhi lo, aap hamare afsar hein!’ (Sir, please buy another car, you are our boss). With a smile he would tell them, ‘meri gaarhi se meri pehchaann nahin hai.’ (my car is not my identity). Devendra always cautioned Manu ‘drive carefully to ensure that nothing happens to you. However, if there is ever an accident, inform me, leave the car, take a three wheeler and come home. Car is not at all important, your life, well being and happiness are what I care the most about.’ The richest of dads may find it difficult to give such an assurance to their sons. Nevertheless there were occasions when he felt that he was unreasonable to Manu. He had the generosity of a big heart to say he was sorry. Manu had freedom to choose or leave any subject or sport which he had difficulty in pursuing. Manu did not like Russian language classes in Delhi Public School, he left it. He had to leave cricket after a small particle of stone damaged his cornea while playing in college. Manu had eye problem for years after that. He had to visit the AIIMS Eye Casualty, four or five times a week. We were touched by Manu’s gesture in not letting us know that his eye was hurting as he did not want us to go with him at odd hours. He would quietly leave after we had gone off to sleep. Devendra was very happy that Manu took up golf after this, which he played with a friend in the initial stages. In one of Devendra’s recent collection of articles and write-ups there was one that I vividly remember ‘When hit by sudden criticism do not react in haste’ (Hindu, October 2010). I also discovered a greeting card from his teacher, Prof V.N. Dutta, Professor Emeritus whom Devendra respected very much. He had kept it with utmost care.
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Devendra with our son Manu
Devendra’s portrait made by an artist
‘...a wonderful humane person’
D
evendra kept the child in him alive as he began to collect ten, twenty and fifty rupee notes. He used to add to this collection on a daily basis, even if, it was a single note or a single coin. He used to straighten them, tie them neatly with rubber bands on both the sides. He had kept a briefcase for it. He also had three boxes for coins of 1, 2 and 5 denomination. His eyes used to get big and smile broader as he counted these. He collected these to make payments for the water and electricity bills. He used to often play mouthorgan and would pick up different kinds of mouthorgans from exhibitions. He had picked up a bamboo with tribal art engraving on it which would emanate musical notes as one slowly turned it in different directions. Devendra then explained to us that music is created naturally as air enters the hollow bamboo. The artisan, the farmers and the folk dancers used to bring out unlimited energy in him. He used to sit on the floor to talk to them, make artifacts and discuss their problems. On our visit to Chokhi Dhani, a beautiful resort in Jaipur, Devendra joined a folk dancer and danced with him for more than fifteen minutes. The dancer was very happy and proud that Devendra had danced with him and talked to him. He felt as if Devendra was an old friend of his. On one of our visits to Shopper’s Stop in Ansal Plaza, Devendra spotted a young boy who was making portraits. Devendra told him to make his portrait. The boy made a very beautiful and realistic one in ten minutes. Devendra appreciated the portrait. He kept wondering as to how the boy seated on a small plastic stool, made
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Always full of life and eager to learn, Devendra enjoying a dance with a Rajasthani folk dancer, and; trying his hand at the potter’s wheel
portrait of customers sitting in front on an equally small stool. The boy had a polythene bag with pencils, papers and a board, which he took out from the bag as and when a customer came. He would put the board on his lap and a fresh white paper to make beautiful portrait of the customer. Devendra was so touched by this boy’s struggle that when he asked for a payment of fifty rupees, Devendra gave him five hundred rupees. He told him that he must increase his fee for making a portrait from fifty rupees to atleast one hundred. Later, Devendra helped him find a place where the crowd would not push him around while he made portraits. Travelling with Devendra was always a great fun. Manu and I enjoyed innumerable trips to our village, a few to Shimla, Pune, Nashik and Mumbai; several to different cities of Rajasthan etc. We can not forget his excitement in loading fruit, vegetables, breads, jams, pickles and sauces of different kinds in the car on our village trips, so that his mother would not have to worry about making sudden arrangements. Devendra and I, on our various trips, had a lot of fun, relaxed and enjoyed the beauty of nature, buying or picking up gifts for friends and relatives. He, however, used to continuously feel Manu’s absence. He would call him up from Dilli Haat, Habitat Centre, Flying Club, places outside Delhi and outside India to ask, ‘Son, what should I pick for you from here?’ After Manu got married, he used to ask ‘what should I get for Priya and you?’ Devendra used to visit the Badrinath and Kedarnath shrines every year. He used to drive the car himself. I would repeatedly tell him to take a taxi as such a long drive would exhaust him, but he never agreed. He would make me realize that
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Our moments of togetherness. Devendra made special efforts to keep us all happy and smiling. He was an outdoor man and enjoyed his trips to mountains, jungle safaris to stay connected with nature.
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visiting the two shrines was something that helped him stay connected with the nature and that driving was his childhood passion. Devendra drove to Badrinath and Kedarnath for the last time in May 2010, months before he passed away. Devendra got along with people of all ages, the old, the young, and particularly children who appreciated and loved being with him. They always approached him with a great degree of comfort. He respected the elderly and his seniors as he felt that there was so much to learn from their lives, their wisdom both professional and worldly experiences. He was in turn trusted by his seniors. A former Vice Chancellor of IGNOU Prof Kulandaiswamy had the following to say:
Dear Kiran, It is a shock so totally sudden and so unexpected that Dr. Choudhry passed away. Dr. Choudhry was apparently in sound health when I met him in October. I need not tell you that in his demise, I miss one of my close and dependable friends. Throughout the period of my stay in Asian Games Village and my service in Maidan Garhi, he was an absolutely loyal, totally dependable and one among a few devoted colleagues. I am fully aware as to what a loving pair you both were and how devoted you were to him. It’s a vacuum that has been created around you and no development can fill that vacuum, but I also know that you are a brave soul and can rise up to the occasion and face this disaster with courage and continue to be as social and as helpful a lady as you have always been. You may take comfort and consolation in the fact that you have friends like me who share your grief and will stand by you. Kindly convey my sympathies to Manu.
V.C. Kulandaiswamy
Devendra was comfortable with people of his age group, respecting their individuality and their view points. He generously offered help with a great deal of spontaneity. At work he never allowed personal and professional relationships to impact the other negatively. Whenever someone had a different view point or did not agree with him in meetings, he never took it personally. He continued to have a cordial relationship with all his colleagues. He was able to successfully manage the
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Presidentship of the Asian Games Village Resident’s Association. Devendra’s interest, commitment and an eye for detail used to infuse life in all social functions, especially the celebration of Independence Day. He sorted out many problems of the residents. I am reminded of one incident when an old doctor telephoned Devendra to say that she and her husband could not come out of their house as there were lots of yellow wasps on the entrance of their house. Devendra sent the society’s security guards and the other staff to remove the wasps’ hive as the wasps would frequently come out when disturbed. Devendra called the doctor to say ‘Mam don’t worry, you and your husband will
1: Devendra kept going back to his favourite river Teesta 2: At Fort Aguda, Candolim, Goa 3, 4: Hoisting the national flag on Independence Day at the Asian Games Village complex 1
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have no problems from today. I will only go to my office after all the wasps are gone and the hives removed. Please call me anytime if you need help.’ In 1988 Devendra went to London, Milton Keynes and Cambridge with his IGNOU colleagues to discuss issues of Distance Learning. Dr. Kaushik, who was Regional Director of Madhya Pradesh was taken ill seriously at Milton Keynes. Devendra called for a doctor, missed his meeting to stay with Dr. Kaushik. Nevertheless, he was able to participate in the meeting on the rest of the days. His clarity on many issues, his curiosity to learn new things made everyone notice his good and pleasant mannerism along with his extremely good understanding and communication skills. Devendra was very keen to understand the UK Open University System. He felt that IGNOU needed to have its own system and materials which would be relevant to the Indian context. Devendra used to go every morning to pick up newspapers from the Hauz Khas market and vegetables & fruits from the Mother Dairy booth at Asian Games Village. Every one at the market loved and respected him from the core of their heart —‘Sir meri chai piyo’ (Sir, have my tea) was something that every shopkeeper would say. He did not disappoint any one of them by refusing. All these people shared their problems with him. Devendra offered solutions for most. The entire market was stunned on getting the news of his sudden passing away. Each shopkeeper informed the other about the sad news with tears in eyes. Devendra reached out with concern and unlimited energy to all those who were facing problems — physical, mental or emotional. There were hundreds of such instances but only a few I can recall:
Gunjan who was the daughter of Dr. Gujral the Joint Director was terminally ill. Devendra told Dr. Gujral to be with his daughter and not to worry about his leave entitlement which had been exhausted. Devendra would offer a car to facilitate Dr. Gujral’s visits to Apollo Hospital where Gunjan was admitted. He discussed the case for the reimbursement of medical expenses with the Finance Division and the Vice Chancellor. Devendra made sure that Dr. Gujral got all the support for the treatment. When Gunjan died, Devendra received the sad news while on a train to Kota. He was going to attend a meeting of the Kota Open University. He left Kota station within half an hour, and boarded a moving train to Delhi, to be able to attend the funeral of his colleague’s young daughter!
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Dr. Manjula Saxena posted as the Regional Centre Delhi-II was seriously ill. Devendra went personally to the Kailash Hospital in Noida where she was admitted. He discussed her case with the doctors and requested them, to do whatever was required. He said,‘even if we have to fly doctors to Delhi from NIMHANS, Bangalore. We not only need to save her life but also ensure that she is able to function as a normal person and not reduced to vegetative living.’ Dr. Haider was then the Regional Director of Jammu & Kashmir Regional Centre. When Devendra learnt about Dr. Haider’s illness. He told him to leave Jammu and reach Delhi for his treatment. As Regional Director, he could not have left the station during examination time. Devendra instructed the Assistant Regional Director to take on the responsibility seriously. He then informed the Vice Chancellor that he had asked Dr. Haider to leave for Delhi for treatment. The Vice Chancellor said that IGNOU was having its examinations where the presence of Regional Director was mandatory. Dr. Choudhry told the Vice Chancellor that at no cost would he ever risk the life of his Regional Director and that the Assistant Regional Director would conduct the examinations! Dr. Haider was admitted to Apollo Hospital. Devendra went personally to the hospital with Dr. Haider’s wife to make payment. Devendra paid seventeen thousand rupees from his own credit card, which was later returned by Dr. Haider. He brought Dr. Haider and his wife from the hospital to the university guest house in his staff car. It was not the question of money but Dr. Choudhry’s concern for each and every member of the faculty and other staff.At no time that concern was ever missing. Dr. Agarwal came to me to talk about Devendra on September 17, 2011. This is what he shared. ‘I had an opportunity to be a member of the committee which Prof D.K.Choudhry chaired. I found him to be an officer of an un-impeachable integrity with honesty of purpose and dedication. He was most reliable both in action and in words. His urgency to give utmost importance to collective wisdom was a testimony to how good an administrative officer he was. He worked hard with commitment to take IGNOU to its heights.’ said Dr. Agarwal. Devendra candidly used to take up serious cases to ensure that in such cases no financial limit was there. He used to get these honestly reported in the minutes ‘this is a special case, it will not be allowed to become a precedent. As the need would be, we will continue to provide, support to those for whom it would be a matter of life and death’. Dr.Agarwal smilingly told me how Devendra referred to the cases of those who were close to him saying ‘these are actually not critical cases. They can be taken up as per rules.’ Dr. Agarwal said ‘These were actually routine cases.’
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There are some days that remain etched in our minds forever. One such day was 13th November 2010, when my dear friend Kiran called in the early hours informing me about Devendra passing away. I was shocked and saddened, and wondered why God chooses to take away good people like Devendra. Devendra had an unforgettable presence. Whenever he entered a room he radiated a positive aura and warmth that enveloped all those present. His big, friendly and happy smile put a smile on others’ faces. A zinda dil person who lived life to the full! Devendra was a giver who always helped and supported those who were in trouble or less fortunate irrespective of power, position, gender, class, caste or age. Over the years I was amazed to see how children, old people, taxi drivers, peons, doctors, professionals and his own colleagues respected and loved him equally. I remember vividly, when my son Karan’s Board results were declared, and my husband rang him up asking if he could help us in his college admissions. Without hesitating, Devendra simply said- ‘just wait, I will pick you up and we can go and try in three or four colleges.’ He simply left what he was doing and was at our place in less than 30 minutes.This seemingly small but important action is just one example of what endeared him to many of us. Fortunately, I had a number of opportunities to also see and experience the professional side of his personality as well, when he was the Regional Director Delhi, and I was working on one of the IGNOU courses. On numerous occasions one observed his patience, tolerance, sensitivity and concern towards students, parents and staff. His ability to multitask effectively, despite a demanding and strenuous office schedule was amazing. He was an extremely disciplined individual who valued and respected time, hard work and was totally committed to IGNOU right to the very end. A few discussions I had with him, revealed yet another side. He was extremely well-read, knowledgeable, communicating his thoughts and ideas expressively yet rationally. He organized and co-ordinated all the work and activities with an ease and sensitivity to one and all, which is rare to find in most people. I feel privileged to have known a wonderful, humane person such as Devendra. Remembering him and his qualities brings a sense of loss yet always brings a smile to my face, which is the way I think he would have liked it to be. Sandhya Paranjpe
‘...we truly miss him’
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evendra continuously motivated and inspired his younger colleagues. His colleagues had a very healthy relationship with him as expressed by many of them in the large number of messages received. Only a few are reproduced here as most of them have been conveying their shock and talking about his contribution to the system and his quality of reaching out. It was with a great sense of loss that the Regional Centre received the news of the sudden demise of our beloved Pro-Vice Chancellor, Prof D.K. Choudhry. Sir was not only kind and considerate but was extraordinarily humane and we always looked forward to seeing him at every opportunity. His passing will not only leave a void in our lives but in the hearts of all those who knew him. Sir, will always remain within our hearts and we will forever treasure the memories of him. Regional Director, IGNOU, Gangtok
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IGNOU family members at RC Raipur deeply mourn the demise of their beloved Pro Vice Chancellor Dr D.K. Choudhary. As one of the Bhisma Pitamahs of the University, Dr. Choudhary was the pillar of strength and source of inspiration for hundreds of employees of IGNOU for more than two decades. His deeds and words will continue to inspire the members of IGNOU family in the years to come. We pray for peace of the departed soul. May God give strength to the bereaved family. Dr. H. Sangeeta Majhi, Regional Director, IGNOU, Raipur
The sudden demise of Dr. D.K. Choudhry has left the RSD fraternity with a feeling of great loss. Dr. Choudhry was like a revered friend and guide to the staff at all the Regional Centres. We pray to the almighty to give strength to the family members to bear the personal loss. May his soul rest in peace. He will always be fondly remembered by the RC Staff for his kind benevolence towards all. Regional Center Staff, IGNOU, Jaipur
IGNOU, Regional Director, Siliguri and his wife
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All the Officers and Staff Members of the IGNOU Regional Centre, Guwahati expressed their deep shock and sorrow on receiving of the news of the sudden demise of Prof D.K. Choudhry, Pro-Vice Chancellor, IGNOU, New Delhi. An urgent meeting was convened on the 15 November 2010 by the Deputy Director Dr. Sanjib Kataky. Dr. Choudhury was fondly remembered for his pleasant personality, his love for the North Eastern India is highly shown by his deed in many spheres of his works. A two-minute silence was observed to pray for the departed soul to rest in peace. We prayed that the Almighty console the bereaved family especially his wife and children. Regional Director, IGNOU Guwahati Regional Centre
On 28 September I carried OMR sheets of all the 13 examination centres of RC Dehradun, mainly because observers appointed by the University refused to visit Uttaranchal because of landslide and natural disaster. It was very difficult to carry about 200kg luggage from IGNOU guest house to SED. Thanks to my friend from North East who helped me carry the OMR sheets from the corridors to IGNOU Block 12. When I reached there, I was so exhausted that the person who was receiving the OMR sheet told me ‘sir it seems that your are sick, please take rest by the time I count all the OMR sheets’. For a moment I felt that there is no one who bothers about us in IGNOU. It is our duty and responsibility not only to conduct the examination but also ensure that the OMR sheets reach SED safely. By the time I handed over OMR sheets it was 1.00 pm. While going to canteen, Dr. Subhangi met me on the way. We thought just to meet Dr. Chaudhary. We took the liberty of meeting him when he was taking lunch. He immediately forced us to take lunch with him, and this was the last lunch we took with him. I don’t know we are going to get such a humane treatment in this materialistic society!!!!!!!!!!!!! These are purely personal emotions. Anil Dimri Regional Director, IGNOU, Dehradun
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Remembering Professor Devendra Choudhry I met Prof Choudhry first time in his office at Vishva Yuvak Kendra, Delhi. He was then holding the post of Regional Director Delhi. IGNOU was just established and was only about one or two year old.The challenges of dealing with establishing the Delhi Regional Centre and managing student’s affairs might have been many. I had gone to his office regarding some query related to admission of one of my relatives. The first impression I got while meeting him was so satisfying and pleasant that I still remember the day and often discuss with my friends about the generosity he had shown to me. I was overwhelmed by his supportive attitude, that too, to a totally unknown person like me. I had just got some reference from one of my friends. He not only provided me needed information but guided me to be able to sort out the problem. He was so straight forward and upright that without mincing any words he gave all the help at his disposal. The advice given by him came to be very useful later. I remember vividly his expression reflecting an attitude of sincerity and an intention to be part of solving some one’s problem. I could easily read the positivity in his approach.The impression made that day has lived permanently with me and even strengthened further with the passage of time after meeting him occasionally at NCERT and IGNOU. He never forgot to say hello and peep in to my room whenever he would come to the Department of Elementary Education. Once I had the opportunity to visit IGNOU to attend a meeting on ECCE diploma through distance mode being chaired by the Vice-Chancellor of the university. He was then Pro-Vice-Chancellor of the University sitting next to the Vice -Chancellor. After the meeting he made it a point to talk to me and invited me to his chamber. He was so welcoming and warm hearted that one would feel an important person in his company. No ego, no complexes and no hierarchical consideration at all. He offered me a cup of tea and we shared some thoughts on academic issues of the day.The most appealing aspects of his personality I realized were his boldness in taking decisions, helpfulness, straightforwardness and unassuming behaviour. He was deeply rooted in traditional cultural and family values yet modern in outlook. He also exhibited the sense that one should enjoy life and live in the present. He was so jovial by nature that often he would make small invitations to enjoy the company of friends to a food outlet or a restaurant. His profound love for rural and tribal art and culture was evident through his talks and knowledge of cultural diversity he assimilated through visits to far flung remote places. In his passing away I felt the loss of a true well wisher and a friend of friends’. One draws solace from the lines of Sri Aurobindo’s “Savitri” about the soul’s journey to heavenly abode: It left known summits for the unknown peaks; ...far from our eager reach those summits live; ...climbed by the spirit’s naked athlete will; ...to attempt the immense adventure of that climb; and the sacrifice of all we cherish here; ...he stood on a wide arc of summit space ; ... his soul had peace , it knew the cosmic whole G.C. Upadhyay
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‘Dev Bhaiya’
‘Dr. Devendra Choudhury’, is known to many as an Academician, Historian and Academic Administrator. But to me, he was my elder brother and I loved calling him ‘Dev Bhaiya’. This was so because he was an affectionate person who had a very congenial nature and any interaction with him was very vivacious. His practical solutions to real life problems were very handy at times.The practical orientation, he possessed was the outcome of livid experiences of life with him. Richness of compassion and empathy, which he possessed, was also felt by me on several occasions within our familial interactions. Such a feeling was just not limited to his interaction within the family, but also pervaded to his interface within his native village and region. He exuded a charm which drew people to him and very soon warmth developed in the relationship. ‘Dev Bhaiya’ was a devoted son and he loved and cared for my ‘Bhuaji and Phoophaji’ throughout his life for which he was well supported by his family members. His devotion to them was unmatchable. ‘Dev Bhaiya’ made relentless efforts for completion of his goals at different stages of life and the same has left an indelible print on our memories of him. While writing this brief, I fondly remember him saying ‘Namaskar Mamaji’,‘Namaskar Mamiji’, as that is the way he addressed my father and mother. Truly, memories of ‘Dev Bhaiya’ will be with us in the years to come.
Harsh Kumar Bhanwala
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...wish there were more people like him Some people touch our lives with such positivity that not only does it stay with you long after they have moved on, but also impacts your life to try and emulate that positivity in various phases and occasions in one’s life too. One such person was Prof Devendra Choudhry whom I met when my daughter had joined IGNOU some six years ago. My husband was a serving Army Officer then, and we were in Bangalore. On a visit to Delhi I went to IGNOU to the Student Support Centre as we were facing some problems in getting her study material. I remember vividly how Dr Choudhry addressed the problem with such positivity (he was then the Regional Director Incharge of Student Support Centre) and on her roll number he got us a set of her study material. Subsequently we moved to Mumbai and once again faced problems with my daughter’s assignment marks etc. He was by then the Pro- Vice Chancellor but his attitude was the same—positive, helpful and he went out of his way to sort out our issues. Waiting in his chamber while he sorted out our problems, I noticed one other great thing that even the calls he took always gave the callers ways and means to resolve their problems…. In the six years we knew him he would often laugh at how Aarohi’s (my daughter) BA seemed to be full of hiccups and turbulations yet at every step he just made the problem seem smaller by lending us his time, ears, ways and means to overcome it. We met him last a little over a year ago when his health was not doing too good with fluctuating sugar levels which he developed after his surgery in December 2008 yet, that warm smile, cup of chai (tea) and encouraging words always helped.We truly miss him and although my husband never met him, to him Prof Devendra Choudhry was alive through our narrative. I wish there were more people like him... Rohini Misra
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Memories of an Ideal Friend The emotions do play a crucial role when memories of a true friend as well as a good human being are refreshed from time to time. It was in 1986 when I joined IGNOU. During the same time Dr. D.K. Choudhry also joined IGNOU. It was perhaps destined that we both worked in the Regional Services Division for almost seven years. Both of us were strangers coming from different backgrounds as far as the language and culture were concerned. Nonetheless within a short span of time, the positive nature and attitude of Dr. Choudhry attracted me towards him. We started becoming friendly. The destiny played a favourable role in making our ties stronger and stronger. This gave us an opportunity to understand each other better. It was sheer a chance factor that we were allotted the official accommodation in one building on one floor. We became next door neighbours hence the family ties also played a role in strengthening the friendship of two families. The two families lived like a single unit for almost 16 years. My family was close to Dr. Choudhry’s parents who used to live for several months every year. We were close to his brothers and sisters who used to keep visiting us as well during their stay with Dr. Choudhry. He was equally good in taking care of every member of the family. He would always share the responsibilities of his extended family members and respect the elders. Gradually, I discovered that Dr. Choudhry was the master of a unique personality. He was completely a dignified person full of praiseworthy qualities. By nature he was honest, sincere, committed and generous. He was a disciplined person but humble. He had lot of humour in him. He had a soft corner for the needy and was friendly with his juniors. Dr. Choudhry was an intelligent man, a true guide and a wonderful companion. He was bold, strong, energetic with a clean heart. He was an outspoken person. He would reveal truth without fear. Dr. Choudhry was punctual in his duties. He was strict but kind. He was possessing extraordinary social qualities. He was always ready to accept the challenges. He was an asset for the organisation. His dedication towards the institution was commendable. He was competent to deal with the complex problems and handle them with care. He was an excellent family man. He would entertain any number of guests with a smiling face which was an example of his broadmindedness and large heartedness.This was, of course, an added quality of Dr. Choudhry. Dr. Choudhry was a wonderful man. My association with him as a colleague and as a neighbour was a rewarding experience. My family members and I am deeply shocked by his sudden demise. His departure has created a vacuum never to be filled. We all miss him a lot God bless his soul with eternal peace. Prof M.L. Koul, IGNOU
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Devendra in various contemplative moods.
A touching note from Paavani and Dexter, grandchildren of Devendra’s elder sister.
A Child at Heart
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evendra was very fond of children, small and young, as he shared their curiosity. He himself had eyes which were expressive with a spark! He had a lot of concern and patience for differently abled children. This was seen in his relationship with Gyan, our nephew at home and many other children of our colleagues and friends. Dr. Shubhangi’s son Vishu is autistic. She had been pleading for her transfer from Jaipur Regional Centre to Delhi. The University was perhaps not agreeing to it because of a mindset and as there was little awareness in India about autism in the last decade and a half. Devendra tried hard, kept on assuring Shubhangi that she should not worry as he would surely bring her to Delhi where she would be able to get a lot of support from the organization Action for Autism. He got Shubhangi to Delhi, with his resolve to persist till he succeeded in getting Shubhangi transferred. He was always concerned about creating awareness and sensitivity for children with autism. At the annual IGNOU Convocation a stall of Action for Autism became a regular feature. Devendra used to buy a large number of beautiful art and craft objects created by autistic children. We used to keep one at home and give the rest as gifts to our select friends who were sensitive towards autistic children. Devendra did send his senior colleague to examine the possibility of IGNOU centre with Music Therapy Course at Action for Autism, Jasola, when he learnt that it would help these children. Such issues take time, convincing people with little
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Devendra at Action for Autism stall during IGNOU Convocation
awareness and sensitivity made him very uncomfortable. Devendra did not give up his commitment to create sensitivity about it till October 2010, weeks before his passing away. His love and concern for children came about in many other incidents in our life. About twenty children of our block in Asian Games Village came to Devendra, when he was the President of Asian Games Village Residents’ Association, with a representation that they had no place to play. They were being turned out from every big park that they went to. He listened to them, read their representation and said, ‘play in the one that is at the back of our house, be happy and enjoy your game. I am there, nobody will dare to turn you out from this park from today.’ He spoke to all those persons who had complained. The day these children learnt about Devendra’s passing away, they came to pay their last tributes to him. These children continue to play even after Devendra has gone forever. Devendra ensured that IGNOU employees’ children (who did not have a computer at home) were allowed to use his office computers, and if the need arose, his own desktop and laptop were also used to help them. Every day excited groups of children walked into his office to learn computer and use internet facility. This he did in his capacity as Regional Director, Director Regional Services Division and as Pro-Vice Chancellor. Devendra along with his staff helped children to look for
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1, 2, 3: Devendra 6 interacting with Children during his visit to England 4: Manu and Gautam 5: Devendra with my father, Manu and Gautam 6: Aparna and Gautam 7: Kanishka and Vaijyanti
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This page:
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Facing page:
1: Devendra with Manu and Azad
1: Devendra with Gauri and Gayatri
2: Devendra with Manu and Gauri
2: Devendra with Rekha
3: Celebrating Manu’s birthday
3: Devendra’s mother with her grandchildren
4: Manu on Azad’s birthday with Dr. Ved Gupta
4: Devendra with Gayatri, Manu and me
5: Devendra at Anand’s house on Azad’s birthday
5: Devender with my parents, Gauri and Gayatri
6: Devendra with Lily, Betu and Rinku and their cousin
6: Devendra with Manu, Ashok, Gauri, Gayatri and me 2
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1: Devendra with Azad and Siddarth 2: Gyan making Devendra wear a cap 3: Azad and Gyan 4: Paavani and Dexter
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Pictures from the Convocation at Mauritus Institute of Education where Devendra delivered the Convocation Address.
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information, download forms and documents. He encouraged them to look for options. He used to tell them that new areas were coming up and each one of them will find something for himself / herself. These children occasionally brought chocolates for Devendra. He used to take a piece and distribute the rest amongst children only. He treated every child with love, dignity and respect. Devendra did succeed in creating a separate space at IGNOU campus with internet facility for IGNOU residents. His office still continued to receive children. Our part time worker, Sumitra had a three year old son who used to come with her every morning. Devendra ensured that he had breakfast with this child. I used to keep telling him that Sumitra would make him eat in the kitchen, but this little boy would eat sitting next to Devendra, who would help him only eat nicely while having his own breakfast. He was always happy to see the child’s smile and his eyes getting bigger. This he did for two years when he was not touring. A dedicated officer of IGNOU’s Finance division, Mr. Tetri, was our neighbour. One evening Devendra had just changed after returning home from office. Manu had gone to the gym. Our part time help had gone to get something from the Mother Dairy booth. As the door bell rang, Devendra opened the door to find Mrs. Tetri in tears. She told him that Mr. Tetri had been injured in an accident. Devendra in his kurta pajama and bathroom slippers rushed out with Mrs. Tetri with car keys in his hand, even forgetting to close the main door. After picking up Mr. Tetri from where he was after the accident, Devendra got him admitted to AIIMS casualty. I was not at home. I had gone to gift Diwali Diyaas to Munna didi. Devendra called me up and said ‘immediately reach AIIMS causality, Mr. Tetri has had an accident.’ We were both there whenever they needed any support. Mr. Tetri’s son, Arun was so upset seeing his father that he became emotionally upset for twothree years. Devendra never forgot to counsel Arun. I think it was after a year or so that Mr. Tetri suffered a massive heart attack, Devendra immediately took Manu with him in our car to rush Mr. Tetri to Escorts hospital in the night. With great difficulty he was admitted as a former HRD Minister was very critical and the staff at the hospital was busy with him. Devendra first requested and later raised an issue with Escorts staff and doctors to do all that they needed to save his colleague who was in his fifties, whose life was equally precious.
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One of my cousins reminded me how Devendra took care of her four year old son who was ill. During their three visits to our house, he was gentle with this child and used to tell him stories, play with him and encourage him to make drawings. All this took away the child’s tension of visiting the All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS). He used to ensure that somebody went to the hospital with my cousin and me to do the running around during the check ups. He also ensured that our personal car was with us throughout her stay for the check-ups. When Devendra’s office was in Chanakyapuri, on his way back home he used to stop at Sarojini Nagar market to pick up vegetables and fruits. Three or four times, I accompanied him on weekends. It was an unbelievable experience. Young boys who were selling vegetables used to shout on seeing him ‘uncle ji aa gaye’ and then each one saying ‘uncle ji meri subzi’ (Uncle ji please take vegerables from me). Devendra did not disappoint any of those boys. He asked each one to give something - tomatoes, lemons, potatoes, peas, spinach, garlic, green grams etc. However, if anyone of them was left out, he would shout ‘uncle ji meri sabzi’ (uncle ji what about vegetables from me?) then Devendra would tell him to give him something of his own choice. Devendra could also provide an affectionate presence to the local children during his visits to England. Children interacted with him and posed for photographs. Devendra was fond of all children in our family. Paavani and Dexter, Munna didi’s grand children brought a card to express their sadness at Dev Nana’s passing away. Devendra was a proud Indian. Like a child, he looked forward to watching the Independence and Republic Day celebrations on television year after year. When the national anthem was played, he always stood up with a sense of pride and respect. An incident comes to my mind when he was watching the Republic Day parade in Rockland Hospital while having a blood transfusion. Devendra got his drip disconnected to stand up for the national anthem. In another incident when he went to deliver a Convocation Address for IGNOU students in Mauritius in 2008, the Indian National Anthem was played first and then the Mauritian, with an overwhelming emotion and sense of pride, as an Indian, tears rolled down his cheeks.
Devendra outside Singapore airport
Compassionate Colleague
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evendra could not tolerate anything being said against our country unless it was healthy criticism. He used to get upset when a lot of negative criticism was there for the Commonwealth Games. He was upset that gossiping about it on roads, corridors, homes and workplaces had become a favourite past-time for many people. We were coming back from Singapore on September 24, 2010 when a Jet Airways staff at check-in counter got satirical saying ‘going for Commonwealth Games..?’ with a slimy look and an ugly grin.’ Devendra addressed a few Indians in the lounge who were boarding the Jet Airways flight that ‘we need to exercise restraint. It is the duty of those who have to enquire into the delays, over use and wrong use of money. We must not turn it into a situation where everyone begins to make fun of our country. When things go wrong we need to address the same, enquiry needs to be instituted, but we must never develop a habit of gossiping as it damages the image of our country.’ Till his last day, he enjoyed the cartoons and jokes, watched programmes like ‘The Miracles of the Sea’ with awe and keen interest. He watched ‘The Castaway’ with grave intensity. Programmes on National Geographic and History Channels made him sit-up in awe and brought a sense of wonder on his face and programmes like ‘The Walk of the Emperor’ a film on Penguins, kept his sense of curiosity and wonder alive. It was this sense of wonder that made him understand things which he did not know, listen to others for answers and their view points. Devendra
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Devendra in Mauritius
firmly believed that it was important to discover and learn everyday how to live happily and find ways to give meaning to one’s own life as well as help others to give meaning to theirs. He remained relevant for his place of work and loved at home as he never gave up learning, enjoying and reaching out. Devendra believed that in official situations, quick decisions were needed to avoid conflicts. However, at the same time hasty and impulsive decisions were not the right way to address issues. For quick decisions, one needed to have a good understanding and clarity on issues. He believed that postponing decisions would lead to confusion and mental burden which was not good for either the officials or the system. He was able to rise above self and could objectively think about passionately reaching out to students, their parents and the staff at Headquarters and all Regional Centres. Devendra’s strong belief was that rules should not be applied arbitrarily to any and everybody as each case is different. Flexibility should be there when considering individual cases or issues. ‘Rules should help the persons to whom those are being applied. Cases of employees or students need to be treated with a
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Dear Mam,
Only a few minutes ago, I got the shocking news of the sudden demise of Dr. Choudhry during my talk on phone with Dr. Avani Trivedi of Regional Centre Ahmedabad and, Dr. Mishra from Lucknow. Though I am no longer with IGNOU, I feel it is a personal loss because I vividly remember Dr. Choudhry’s visit to our Centre as a Director (RSD) probably in 1999 and later to Rajkot. On both the occassions he was very outgoing and very affable. During his visit to Mehsana Centre along with Dr. Kalpana Mishra, he showed extraordinary promptness in getting our Centre activated for Management Programmes – a long pending issue.You will perhaps not believe he contacted the school people from his mobile phone and told us to start the programme without waiting for official notification which, however, we got within a week after he reached Delhi. I had the honour of hosting lunch for him at my home and my wife and others were touched by his unassuming nature and forthrightness. Certainly IGNOU has lost a no-nonsense man who did not let the bureaucratic procedures come in his way whenever necessary to help the Centres. I pray for peace of the departed soul of your husband and share your grief. Kindly convey my heartfelt condolences to your son.
K.N. Mathur New Progressive College of Computer Studies, Mehsana
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1: Devendra with uncle Om, my grandfather and my father at our marriage reception 2: With Mrs. and Prof S.R. Mehrotra and Mrs. Haridas at our marriage reception 3, 4: With my parents and Manu 5: My parents 6: Devendra with his parents 7: With my mother 8: With my father 9: Devendra with his mother
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Dear Kiran It is my loss to have lost a good friend like Devendra whom I knew for more than two decades.Your mother and you were my patients. After a decade and a half, I was his doctor as well. He had stress diabetes after a surgery in 2008. He began to have problems of fluctuating sugar levels. What impressed me most about Dr. Choudhry was his positive attitude, his habit of reading, his vast knowledge which he unhesitatingly shared with everyone. His dedication and commitment to his institution was something rare that I have come across. Whenever he was admitted in hospital, he would start holding his meetings, signing files and giving dictations from the third day itself. His respect for rules and permission from me to invite the Directors of various Divisions for discussions was never overlooked. He used to discuss with me different medical issues, as Pro-Vice Chacellor of IGNOU, he was looking after the school of Health Sciences along with other schools. He had a clarity of vision. Dr. Choudhry was an extremely good human being. He always had a beautiful smile on his face. In his official matters he used to give a humane touch to every situation. He would frequently inform me that he was sending a colleague with some medical problems. Later he would call up to be reassured that nothing was seriously wrong with him/her. Many a times he used to himself come with his colleagues who used to be serious. All his colleagues, who continue to come to me for consultation have felt a sense of personal loss on Dr. Choudhry’s passing away. They have been telling me about his candid approach in taking bold decisions to help University’s employees. He had time to listen to problems of everybody who approached him. I also discovered how devoted a son he was. He looked after his mother who had stomach cancer. She was my patient as well. He helped us to take an ethical decision once he was informed that his mother was gasping for breath and as per the medical ethics we, as doctors, needed to take the next step of sending her to the ICU. Dr. Choudhry agreed with tears in his eyes. His mother passed away on March 11, 2010. He was unwell himself and admitted in Rockland Hospital itself. He did all the formalities to take his mother’s body from the hospital, went for the cremation of his mother and came back to the hospital. He got himself discharged from the hospital to take his mother’s ashes to Haridwar. He was in his convocation on March 15 and performed the havan for the peace of the departed soul of his mother on March 16, 2010. His level of devotion to his work and mother makes me think again and again from where did he get the strength to do all these things. In the last eleven months, the only answer that I have been getting is that the strength came from his goodness, his humane and positive attitude, his sincerity in performing duty towards his work and relationships and reaching out to everyone. Prof (Dr.) M.P. Sharma Rockland Hospital
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With deep sense of grief, sadness and sorrow we learnt that the Pro-Vice Chancellor Prof D. K. Choudhry, suddenly passed away on 13th November 2010 early morning hours, leaving large number of colleagues in IGNOU and his beloved family. Prof D. K. Choudhry, used to be a continuous source of guidance and encouragement. During his long career in IGNOU, Prof Choudhry held many important posts and positions. The most important among them are: the Regional Director of Delhi Regional Centre; Director, Regional Services Division; Director, Student Services Centre and Pro-Vice Chancellor of IGNOU. Prof Choudhry was instrumental in establishing large number of Study Centres in Delhi, during his tenure as the Regional Director of Delhi Regional Centre. When Prof Choudhry was the Director of RSD, the LSCs network was expanded to cover more and more areas and new Regional Centres were also established. As the PVC and In-Charge of Eastern Region, Prof Choudhry used to encourage, provide valuable guidance and leadership to the Regional Directors and Regional Centres. Prof Choudhry was always available for support and help in times of any exigencies. It is true that large number of colleagues in the Regional Centres endeared themselves to Prof Choudhry. His sudden departure is an irreplaceable loss to the Regional Service Division in particular. Being the Chairman of the Standing Committee on Student Support Services, he was instrumental in establishing large number of LSCs across the country. He used to enquire like an elder brother and used to encourage all the junior colleagues in different Regional Centres. With his passing away, we lost a continuous source of guidance, encouragement and strength. We pray to the God, Almighty to give strength and courage to Mrs. Choudhry and all the members of the family and all his colleagues to bear the loss.
S. Raja Rao Regional Director and the RC Staff Raghunath Ganj, Regional Centre, IGNOU Murshidabad, West Bengal
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great degree of compassion and sensitivity where illnesses, treatments, condoning delays or other difficult situations are concerned.’ He sensitized his staff that there was no need to quote rules when students, officials or staff members approached them with their problems. This he believed discouraged and demotivated people who felt helpless in critical situations. ‘Quoting rules is the easiest way of not having to think as to how support can be provided’, he used to say. In most cases, with majority of officials ‘it is a ritual to say no to anyone who approaches them with a problem’ this used to upset Dr. Choudhry. He believed that a problem is always resolved with a positive attitude and there is need for everyone in the system to become sensitive and reach out to people with a reassuring smile. We all feel the loss. Masood Parveez Director Regional Services Division, IGNOU Directors of all Regional Centers, staff and officials
Our deepest sympathy to the staff and family of Dr. D.K. Choudhry, Pro-Vice Chancellor. In him we lost one of the pioneer stakeholder in IGNOU who had set standards for the Regional Centres and the Regional Services Division. We pray to the Almighty to give strength to the bereaved family. May his soul rest in peace. Regional Centre Staff, IGNOU, Chennai
We all feel sad to know the news about untimely death of our Pro-Vice Chancellor Dr. D.K. Choudhry. We have lost one of our supportive leader and also a fine senior academician of the University. He will be remembered for his unforgettable contribution to take the IGNOU at new heights, especially the RSD. We deeply condole the passing away of Dr. D.K. Choudhry and we all pray to the Almighty God to give strength to bereaved family. May his soul rest in peace. All staff members of IGNOU Regional Centre Rajkot, Gujarat
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He was very caring and fair. He had emotionally and administratively helped each one of his colleague who was facing illness or bereavement of a family member. A few cases that come to my mind are: One of his Assistant Regional Directors was transferred to Delhi Regional Centre on compassionate ground as his six years old son was suffering from Leukemia. Dr. Choudhry provided all support, leave which was not due, and managed some money to be used for an emergency. Devendra always used to keep aside an amount of ten thousand rupees. He told Dr. Krishnayya that he would himself bring it, when there was a need. However, Dr. Krishnayya never took the money. Devendra also told him that he should never ring up from the market to inform him that he was going to rush his son to AIIMS for admission. He ensured that the Finance Division made timely payments to him. Devendra took a stand when his Section Officer told him that the train fare of Dr. Krishnayya’s wife would not be reimbursed because the rule book specified that only one attendant could accompany a sick person. My husband was furious and asked him where was it written that a mother could not travel with a six year old child who was suffering from Leukemia! Devendra ensured that Mrs. Krishnayya’s train fare was reimbursed. No audit objection was raised as Devendra had a discussion with the audit team. One of his Assistant Registrars in the Regional Services Division, Dinesh Sharma’s father was critically ill. Devendra booked a car so that his father could be taken to Apollo Hospital where Devendra had arranged the admission, got his GPF advance form signed, had the other details filled in by an officer and personally went to the finance officer, got the cheque made and had it sent to the hospital to facilitate the treatment. As a professional, Devendra was totally committed and dedicated to his work. His mother passed away on the March 11, 2010. Her prayer meeting was to be organised on the fourth day, but it was coinciding with the IGNOU Convocation. Devendra announced at the cremation ground itself that the prayer meeting would be held on March 16, 2010. He felt that since his was an Arya Samaji family, it needed to move away from rigid ritualisation. He managed to participate in the Convocation on March 15 and in the prayer meeting of his mother the next day.
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Starting initially with a Regional and a few Study Centres he later took care of an ever increasing number of Centres, increasing student strength and a lot of public dealing, lot of paper work for organising orientation programmes at the national level which called for interaction with a very large number of academicians. All this work never hassled him. When the Regional Centre Delhi was started at Chanakyapuri Devendra distributed forms, did the registration, held Orientation Programmes and managed almost everything, initially with a staff of three and later ten or fifteen only. Every activity was successful as Dr. Choudhry sat with his staff to open hundreds of letters in a week, posting equal numbers, his peon handing him the envelopes to put stamps on them. Dr. Choudhry did it while discussing serious issues and cracking jokes as well. This was his philosophy that after any hectic exercise which stressed out the entire team, it was important to find something to laugh together. Once a senior administrator entered the office where all this work was going on, he wanted to see the Regional Director. Devendra smilingly asked him what could he do for him. The officer got furious ‘have you not heard, I want to meet the Regional Director.’ Devendra took him to his room, sat on his official chair and said ‘What brings you to me?’ The IAS officer was taken aback. Many a times he used to leave his office during massive operations of sale of forms and registration to observe his staff’s behaviour when large number of students used to be there. He would become a part of the crowd to find out how his staff was dealing with the students. Whenever he found any staff member getting impatient with or insensitive to students, he used to take him to task, not in the presence of the crowd, later in his room! He would remind his colleagues that no work is big or small and if we do our work well we feel good ourselves and never suffer from a sense of guilt. Facing page: 1: Devendra during an Orientation Programme 2: Devendra with Prof Kulandaiswamy, VC, IGNOU and Dr Agarwal at Aurobindo Ashram IGNOU Study Centre 3: Devendra at Gymkhana Club with Dr. Chaturvedi and Pegotty Graham Greene from British Open University 4: Devendra with his staff and VC of British Open University 5: Devendra interacting with VC of British Open University and other officials 6: Devendra in intense discussion during a meeting of a foreign delegation 7: Devendra interacting with President of Commonwealth of Learning 8: Devendra during a meeting of Regional Directors
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People admired Devendra. He commanded respect and love from all those who knew his high level of sensitivity and commitment. The Board of Management of the University observed two minutes silence in the memory of the departed soul of Dr. Choudhry: In the 106th meeting of the Board of Management held in IGNOU on November 19, 2010, the Board condoled the passing away of Dr. Choudhry. Before the proceedings of the meeting, the Chairman informed the Board about the sudden demise of Dr. D.K. Choudhry, Pro-Vice Chancellor on 13.11.2011. Recalling the most valuable services rendered by Dr. D.K. Choudhry during his service, spanning for about 25 years in the University, the Chairman informed that Dr. D.K. Choudhry had joined the University as an Asstt. Director on 07.11.1986, as Regional Director w.e.f. 09.03.1988 and further as Regional Director in the Professor’s scale w.e.f. 31.7.1996 and then as Director, Regional Services Division at Headquarter. He was appointed as the Pro-Vice Chancellor of the University on 03.07.2007. Dr. Choudhry was among the first officers to join the University. It was the time when the University was in its infancy and was still in the process of establishing Regional Centres and Study Centres across the country. Dr. Choudhry was mainly instrumental in establishing a vast network of Study Centres in and around Delhi/NCR including Study Centres in some prestigious colleges of Delhi University. The Chairman informed the Board that a condolence message was sent to the bereaved family, on behalf of the university fraternity. The Board noted the contributions of (Late) Dr. D.K. Choudhry to the University from its formative period and recorded its heart-felt condolence for his untimely death. The Board noted that ‘while his untimely death was a big loss to the bereaved family, it was certainly a great loss to the University as well.’ Facing page: 1: Devendra receiving a painting from Mr. Aggarwal, Chief of Tihar Jail 2: At the meeting of the Coordinators 3: With a foreign dignitary and other colleagues 4, 5: Devendra during MOU signing ceremony between IGNOU and Indian Navy 6: Devendra interacting with a Naval officer 7: Devendra on a counter for material distribution for students 8: With Navy Chief, Dr. Khan and Dr. Kanan Sharma and her husband
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Each time the University faced a difficult mob situation, it was Devendra who could pacify a large number of anxious, sometimes agitating mob of students. In his Regional Centre at Tughlakabad, when IGNOU decided to distribute its study materials from Regional Centres, an angry mob of students opened the gates and pushed around everyone. When the Headquarters sent the police and security, Dr. Choudhry stood up for those very agitated students. He did not allow the police to use force, honestly admitting that the University had not been able to print a few modules. It was this fact which had agitated the students as they had waited for long and were disappointed. Devendra had raised his concern in early meetings that inviting large number of students to Regional Centres could make material distribution ‘a difficult task to manage’. However, once the Vice Chancellor took a decision, he did make all arrangements to ensure smooth delivery of materials to students. He felt it was ethical and necessary to own the University’s decision, once it had been taken. Devendra himself took the responsibility of one of the seven counters. He did this to make his colleagues at Regional Centre feel both comfortable and confident that they will be able to handle large crowds for full one week. Very few would remember that such a massive operation of material distribution was carried out immediately after the equipments, furniture, phones, fax, computers etc. were just shifted from Chankayapuri to Tughlakabad Centre. The entire staff was exhausted due to the shifting of Regional Centre. Devendra was able to motivate his team to take up another huge task by being a part of it. In another incident at IGNOU Headquarters, Devendra learnt that a violent mob from Maidan Garhi village had gheraoed the Vice Chancellor and Registrar. They were burning the University’s vehicles. On hearing this, he drove immediately from his Regional Centre to Maidan Garhi to deal with the situation. He learnt that due to the callous attitude of the driver, a child had come under the bus which was carrying the IGNOU employees from Maidan Garhi. Devendra was stunned to find that the employees took some time to step down from the bus to rush the child to hospital. Unfortunately, the child died on way to hospital. He addressed the mob with folded hands and with tears in his eyes. He apologized, cried with them and
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asked for forgiveness on behalf of IGNOU and all its employees at Maidan Garhi. The anguish of the mob from Maidan Garhi village began to recede as Devendra made them feel that he was one of them and shared their grief. There were two other difficult situations which were handled by Devendra. Whenever Devendra came to NCERT from Gate No. 1, he used to stop and tell the woman who cleaned the road that he respected her as she was doing her work with commitment and enjoyed doing it meticulously, making heaps of fallen leaves, picking up the garbage to ensure that the road always gave a very clean and nice look. Devendra watching sunset in Mauritius
Devendra at the Sun Temple Bhubaneshwar, Odisha
A brave-heart
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evendra’s acts of bravery were noticeable in the most trying and difficult situations as he had conquered fear by not worrying or calculating what the consequences would be. In September 1993 an Indian Airline Lucknow-Delhi flight was hijacked by four students who wanted their demands to be met. Devendra was on that flight. He was sitting next to his Vice Chancellor Prof Kulandaiswamy who asked Devendra to remain calm. The announcements in the flight requested the passengers to exercise restraint when airborne. Devendra and three other passengers quietly exchanged messages. Devendra wrote on a piece of paper ‘Let us take autographs of these boys’. He along with the other three passengers requested these boys for their autographs, the moment their attention got diverted, Devendra with the help of these three passengers overpowered the hijackers. It was, however, later discovered that these students had artificial petrol bombs. When the National Security Guards reached to rescue the passengers, Devendra helped many passengers to get out, holding them from their shoulders and handing them over to the Security Guards at the emergency exit. Prof Kulandaiswamy recently told me that Devendra had refused to move out first. He helped Prof Swamy and most of the other passengers to get out of the plane. Unfortunately, in the hurry to get out, the panicked passengers did not realize that Prof Kulandaiswamy fell on the ground and fractured his leg as the Security Guards got busy in a discussion. Devendra too had received injuries and his trousers were torn as a result of this
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scuffle. Another passenger who was a part of the overpowering team was also injured. However, the fourth member who received no injuries got an award but this did not bother Devendra at all as he felt that he had also played a role in overpowering the hijackers. He believed that one should not do things just to get recognition, it was important to feel satisfied for having taken a right decision, standing up for a cause, taking care of elders, and never arguing in social situations to prove oneself right. Tao’s philosophy was something that seemed to influence him in a modified way: There is a time for being ahead There is a time for being ahead There is a time for being behind There is a time for being in motion There is a time for being at rest There is a time for being vigourous There is a time for being exhausted. ‘Tao’
Devendra never felt exhausted. He was always full of life and energy because he refused to accept that he was tired. One did not know how he overcame the impediments of fatigue, loss of energy and health issues of fluctuating blood pressure and sugar level, particularly, after a surgery in December 2008. The Founder Vice Chancellor of IGNOU Prof Reddy used to call Devendra ‘Frontier Mail’ as his morning walks were truly brisk. He was always properly dressed for his walk, smart shorts and t-shirts for summers and track suits in bright colours for winters. He was very particular about shoes, socks and caps. He had a large collection of shoes, socks, neck ties and caps. In office he was one of the best dressed officers, in fact, the most immaculately dressed person. He used to be dressed in the most trendy style for dinners. He never believed that he had exhausted himself. This belief helped him to be active and energetic till the last day. Devendra always believed that the age of a person was what he believed it to be. He enjoyed singing, dancing, joking till the very end of his life.
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The best part was that he himself looked after the work of colleagues who were unable to do it due some reason. He showed kindness when it was genuinely needed, otherwise he was a hard taskmaster who believed in discipline and commitment to work. He made his colleagues do this by practicing it himself. He never made anyone feel that he was overworked. He was clear about his work, motivating his team and ensuring that there was need for seriousness about work but ‘there was no need to create seriousness in ourselves.’ He believed that it was important to relax in the work place and enjoy the work even in the most challenging situations. He continued to work with commitment when he was officially assigned a position which was much below his seniority and the position which he was holding. Devendra made a difference in this assignment by trying new things, adjusting with new team and motivating it. He did not forget to keep his old team motivated. His smile and jokes remained a part of him even at this time. Devendra never let the bad incidents overcome him, he overcame those with his positive attitude and determination. He made every colleague and worker feel special, as he had no favourites, whenever his so called favourites did anything wrong, he took action and if the so called other colleagues did their work properly, he appreciated them and never forgot to give a pat on their backs. Devendra was a large hearted person who could easily forgive people. His faith was in moving ahead, never holding anything against anyone. He believed in moving ahead even in the toughest of situations. This was something that Devendra himself practiced: By letting it go, it all gets done The world is won by those who let it go But when you cling the world is beyond winning. Lao-Tzu
A very bright young girl came with her mother for admission to Delhi Regional Centre. The girl had lost her father. She was continuously blaming the doctor for her father’s death. Devendra realized that the mother was very tense. He sent the girl to his PA’s office to get some information so that he could talk to the mother.
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The mother broke down and said that the daughter listens to very loud music all night long and if the mother ever tried to bring down the volume of the music, the girl had been beating her. Devendra arranged her appointment with a psychiatrist who agreed to come to the Regional Centre once a week to counsel this girl. She was eventually treated and kept in touch with Dr. Choudhry for encouragement. Gunjan who was also a student of IGNOU, was paralysed due to an accident in Malaysia. She did begin to write and gradually appeared for IGNOU examinations as Devendra used to speak to her regularly to motivate her. As Regional Director of the Delhi Regional Centre, Devendra opened a Study Centre in Tihar Jail. On two of his visits to Tihar Jail, I also went with him. The atmosphere in the jail somehow depressed me. The inmates and the convicts kept their place organized and clean and participated in social activities. They were all involved in work that they were good at. Some of them were extremely intelligent and talented. The inmates of Jail No.3, which was also IGNOU’s Study Centre, were going through their study materials while some of them were watching TV. On seeing my husband, each one of them came to meet him, and almost in a procession came to see him off. Devendra used to have a very friendly interaction with them. He sorted out most of their problems on the spot, supported by quick action in the official files. In 1998 two inmates of Tihar Jail, who were students of IGNOU, were finishing their graduation, Devendra made all efforts to ensure that they got their degrees with the rest of the students during 1998 Convocation. Soon after the Convocation, one of the two students came to meet him with a request to arrange a job for him. Devendra, who was known for taking quick bold decisions, took up this matter as well. He discussed this particular case with Prof Khan, the then Vice Chancellor, to convince him that IGNOU must come forward to rehabilitate its student with such a background. Prof Khan agreed. Devendra asked him to work at Regional Centre Delhi itself as Computer Operator. To make him feel comfortable at the workplace, Devendra discussed the matter with his colleagues requesting them to be extremely sensitive and not condemn the ex-inmate as he was good in his work and that his past was over. This person did his work well in the Regional Centre and when Devendra shifted to IGNOU Headquarters to take over the charge of Director
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1: Devendra with his colleague Dr. Ila Das, Regional Director, Gangtok 2: Devendra with Dr. Ram Chander, Regional Director, IGNOU at Patna 3: Devendra handing over IGNOU material to foreign delegation, 4: Devendra during Diwali Mela at Asian Games Village 4: Devendra interacting with media during Students’ Orientation Programme 5: Devendra during IGNOU Convocation in 2006
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Regional Services Division, he came to meet him to get encouragement to do better. Devendra repeatedly told him to forget his past. He also assured him that he will do his best to get him a permanent job! The last I remember was that this person got married, came home to take Dr. Choudhry’s blessings. One of my colleagues, Dr. Panda from Regional Institute of Education, Bhubaneswar participated in the three day IGNOU workshop for which Devendra had gone, a week before his passing away. He told me later that he was impressed by Dr. Choudhry’s intelligence and depth of knowledge, large heartedness and ability to take quick bold decisions. He told me that ‘Dr. Choudhry was a God to many.’ He narrated incidents of Devendra’s academic clarity, understanding and depth during the deliberations and how he did not take even a minute to sanction to the Regional Director Bhubaneswar a huge amount of one lakh rupees for his official work and then followed it up on phone with the officials at IGNOU Headquarters. Dr. Panda shared with me that Dr. Choudhry paid for the room rent of one of the resource persons who was cribbing that the hotel room rent was very high. Dr. Panda told Devendra that while that particular person kept on changing jobs for an increase of two, three or five thousand rupees in salary and, that it was only money which had been his criterion for job hopping, not the academic ground. Dr. Choudhry told this person that he himself was not worried about and interested in money alone. Dr. Choudhry said to this person that he himself felt good when he spent money on himself, on his family or on people who needed it. He told the resource person that he had never taken his share of money from the land which his parents had been offering. He used to tell his parents that they must use the money for their comfort except when his mother forcibly gave Devendra thirty thousand rupees as her blessings in July 2009 which Devendra accepted but kept on giving her adequate amount frequently. He used to tell her ‘aap khush raha karo, jo apko milne aaye, Ruchey ya koi bhi bacha use khoob do’ (be happy, keep giving to those who come to see you, Ruchey or your grand children). Devendera believed that it was his duty to take care of his mother.
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1: Devendra with Dr. Mehta 2: Devendra with Shri Yoganand Shastri 3: Devendra with Shri Arjun Singh and Dr. Kiran Bedi at the inauguration ceremony of Tihar Jail Study Centre 4: Devendra with Dr. Chaturvedi and Mr Romesh Bhandari 5: Devendra with Director General Health Services and other officials during teleconferencing
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1: Devendra during a meeting with Army officials 2, 3: Devendra dressed for his morning walk
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1: Devendra with Dr A.P.J. Abdul Kalam, President of India 2: Devendra with Education Minister Shri Kapil Sibal and MoS Dr. D. Purandeswari 3: Devendra with Dr. Montek Singh Ahluwalia 4: Devendra, hoisting the national flag during Independence Day celebrations 5: Devendra with Deputy Prime Minister of Australia and other colleagues at IGNOU Headquarters 6: Devendra in some serious discussion with Smt. Sheila Dikshit, Chief Minister of Delhi
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1: Devendra with Dr. Farooq Abdullah on the way to a meeting at IGNOU Regional Centre, Srinagar 2: Devendra during a discussion with Shri Rajiv Gandhi, Prime Minister of India at the Flying Club Study Centre 3: Devendra with Smt. Sonia Gandhi during IGNOU Convocation 4: Devendra discussing an important issue with Smt. Sonia Gandhi
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Manu was his world
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evendra sent our Fiat car to his parents when we bought a Maruti 800. He wanted his parents to have every facility that was possible in the village. He sent a television, fridge, a mixer-grinder and many other household things for them to their village home. He always reminded himself, Manu and me how his parents had brought them up nicely in spite of limited resources. His mother was able to look after all the six children very well as she was an extremely hard working lady. We used to visit Devendra’s parents in village three or four times every year during summers. During winters Devendra would send his car to bring them to Delhi and drop them back after their stay with us for about six months. We could never imagine his parents ever travelling in a bus. Both my son and I respected Devendra’s devotion to his parents and commitment to his brothers, sisters and their families. Manu and I made it our commitment too. In our wildest of dream we could not hurt Devendra’s feelings. However, due to some kind of pressure if I ever got impatient with his parents, brothers or sisters, I immediately said sorry to him. He was so generous that he would fight back his tears to give a smile to make me feel better. Devendra had left his studies for three years after graduation to help his parents in paying off the debt they had incurred on his elder sister’s wedding. Devendra went to manage the land in his native village. He did farming and honestly gave the entire money to his father for three years. He lived like an ordinary farmer —
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getting up very early, going to the fields in cold winters or hot summers, cooked his food himself as he liked to eat food with taste and in style. He could not tolerate anyone serving food shabbily. His inner urge and determination to seek knowledge made him travel to Delhi a number of times in buses, to bring books like Kafka’s, The Castle and Albert Camu’s, The Outsider besides many others. He used to go in a tractor to pick up newspapers and magazines from Sonipat. He had a small transistor to keep himself abreast with news, and listen to songs etc. Eventually, Devendra did get back to Kurukshetra University after a gap of three years and completed his Master’s degree in Devendra always encouraged Manu to play golf. Pictures taken by Devendra at the Shimla Golf Course Modern Indian History with a second position in the university. He gave me complete freedom to grow professionally, do things which made me happy – like taking care of the sick, planning, and providing support to those who genuinely needed it. He was very considerate in many ways during my illness. On his last birthday I felt bad that he was going to be alone as I had to be in Dharamsala on an official tour. Manu and Priya were in Nainital. I told him that I would come back to Delhi on 15th evening and return the next day. He told me he would be most unhappy if I tried doing that. He added that out of group of fifty if I came back for a night it would be a bad example of me as a professional which would never make him happy. I did not come, respecting his feelings. I did
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distribute sweets and sort of celebrated his birthday at Dharamsala, wished him and went to pray for his healthy life in a temple in the evening. It was only Queenie, Ashok and Gayatri who were able to wish him personally. My brother Anand was out of India for a meeting. While he was alone in Delhi on his birthday, he did not want me to be alone on mine. On that day Devendra came back to Delhi from Cochin, immediately after his meeting to wish me personally on my birthday. He was an extremely good and a caring father. He had a very close relationship with our son Manu. Both father and son shared a healthy relationship of love, friendship, trust and faith. My husband encouraged Manu more than me, to play golf. Almost about fifteen years back when our salaries were quite low, my husband insisted on sending Manu to the golf course at least three days in a week which meant paying green fee at the course and hiring the golf kit. Devendra was able to provide mental strength to Manu which became a part Manu’s strength. Devendra bought him a Mizuno golf set with a loan from his Provident Fund because he did not want Manu to hire a kit, as many a times he had noticed Manu’s sad face on not getting a good set. He provided all possible support to our son for his studies. Manu was only eight when Devendra encouraged him to participate in a visit to Bangkok with his class from Delhi Public School. He had a special way of doing things as a father! When Devendra went to England in 1987, he bought a wizer for Manu for his safety while playing cricket. Manu used to play cricket from the age of seven. He was a part of Little Masters at Jawahar Lal Nehru Stadium (1984–1995). Manu later played for St. Stephen’s College Cricket team. Manu was encouraged at the age of ten to attend a month long children’s camp in Czech Republic where he excelled in painting and games. He returned to India after a halt of a day each in Rome and Vienna. Devendra used to accompany Manu to the golf course to spend time with him. He used to jokingly say ‘I am his untrained coach’ as he picked up many things about golf while walking on the course with Manu. Devendra always liked to spend time with Manu. He kept in touch with him and looked forward to spending time with him wherever he was. Devendra bought a desktop computer for Manu when he was in first year of college. This helped Manu to pick up many innovative ideas while many of his peer
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Manu with British Historian Prof Owen W. Cole who dedicated his book on Hinduism to Manu who was less than seven years. Below: Excerpts from Prof Owen’s letter Facing page: Devendra and Manu had amazing bonding as father-son and as friends.
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were struggling to understand the functioning of computer. Devendra handed him over our new Maruti which helped Manu commute easily. Devendra used to play cricket with Manu at the Asian Games Village and billiards at the Flying Club or India Habitat Centre. Devendra used to accompany Manu for golf whenever he was in Delhi. This he did till Manu got married. We often discussed many good values of our son with a sense of satisfaction and pride: l A renowned British Historian Prof Owen W. Cole became our good friend from our first meeting at the Punjab History Conference in 1982 at Patiala. Prof Cole dedicated his book on Hinduism to our son Manu who was less than seven years then. Devendra was proud of Manu that at an age of less than seven years, he could communicate on his own in English with a British Historian. We kept this book wrapped till last year, to save it for Manu, opening it occasionally to feel proud and pack it back with care. Devendra felt this would always be Manu’s treasure. Manu’s interactions with many international academicians were frequent as the foreign delegations visiting IGNOU were invited to our house. l Prof Owen Cole visited us three or four times in Delhi. On his last visit in 2004 Devendra provided him our personal car to move around in Delhi and as always, invited him over to our place twice. Devendra insisted that we also take him to Dilli Haat. On our way back he picked up Owen’s medicine, while Owen, who had a hip problem for years, sat in the car. Owen insisted Devendra to take a payment of two thousand rupees for the medicine. Devendra said, ‘Owen you know we will not take it. We respect you as a friend and as a scholar. The fact that you make an effort to spend time with us is something we value. Money is not important, it is the relationship that we keep close to our hearts.’ l There was a one-eyed lizard in our house. Manu used to switch off lights for it when the lizard would be resting. He wanted to save its one eye from the light so that it could sleep for some time. This he did till we were in that house. When we shifted to another house Manu continued to worry about the lizard.
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l Manu once came running to Devendra on finding a squirrel in the toilet pot.
He was about twelve years old. He did not think of anything except saving the squirrel, he tried taking it out, but it bit him. Manu shouted, ‘Papa jaldi aao, squirrel mar jayegi’ (Papa come fast or the squirrel will die). Devendra rushed from his room like a bullet, took out squirrel which ran on to our terrace. Devendra was happy to see Manu smile with a sense of relief that the squirrel had been saved. l When Manu was thirteen years old, he gave his father’s visiting card to a very old man sitting on the roadside in South Extension market selling posters of Laurel & Hardy. Manu had tears in his eyes, he said, ‘Papa he is like Dadaji, please help him.’ Devendra bought the posters, for our house and for Manu’s friends and gave the old man a hundred rupees saying, ‘Aap hamare buzurg hain, hamare bete ko aashirwad do jisne apke bare mein bachcha ho kar bhee socha.’
Devendra and Manu
Dad I Miss You As days turn into months, my father, I will always be your son. Your embrace still feels warm, its like you have never gone. From the early morning call, be it spring or be it fall, I will miss, even though to some these are things small. With eyes moist and a personality far from poised, I do ask the Lord why you were his choice. A man who never feared and possessed the most wonderful beard. Dad, just want to say that I see you and feel you everyday. A father, a friend, a noble soul, A person who fitted all the roles. May the almighty shower his love even though I reconcile that you are up above. Nothing feels quite the same, Pa without you there is no game. Though at times you set your own rules, I know your intention was like priceless jewels.
Manu
Manu has been silently suffering the loss of his father with frequent emotional outbursts. He wrote this poem to express his emotions, five months after his father passed away.
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(You are our elder, please bless our son who thought of you, though being a young child). Manu remained attached to his grand parents. He was fond of his entire paternal family and never showed disrespect for his elders. He adjusted well and never created a fuss on his frequent visits to the village and happily ate everything that was offered to him. l When Manu was in first year of college at St. Stephen’s, our neighbour’s wife came running to Manu saying that her husband had fainted. Manu ran with her, brought Major John Chauhan in his arms from the second floor, put him in the back seat of car and drove them to AIIMS casualty while consoling Chauhan auntie. Manu remained with them in the hospital till senior officials of CSIF and Major Chauhan’s family members arrived. He then called up Devendra to tell him about the incident. ‘Manu you have done a deed which makes me proud of you,’ said Devendra. l When Manu was doing BA Honours in History, he was short of attendance as he was spending time to take care of his uncle who was admitted in Escorts Hospital and his grandmother who had come out of the hospital. Manu shared with us the responsibility of spending time with both in hospitals. Later, he stayed back home to take care of his grandmother, as medicines were to be given to her and different eye drops had to be put every half-an-hour after her eye surgery. It was because of this that he could not attend classes and we received a message from his college that the Principal wanted to see us. Both of us went to meet the Principal. We had to wait for an hour. The Principal was happy to see us. He said that there were very few parents who would come so promptly to meet the Principal and have the patience to stand outside his office for an hour. Principal Hala was happy that we had time for our son, cared for the Principal’s message, involved our son in looking after his grandparents and his uncle. He was convinced after seeing the treatment slips that what we had written in our letter was true. Manu was allowed to appear in the annual examination of History Honours. Till the last day of his life Devendra was very proud of our son and had great faith in him. He believed Manu would never ever compromise with the values of hard work and integrity, and that he would keep away from greed and ingratitude.
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1: A birthday card that Devendra and I gave to Manu on his birthday 2: At Fatehpur Sikri 3: On Manu’s seventh birthday 4: In Jaipur 5: Devendra, Manu and me at Bharatpur 6: Outing to a shopping mall 7: In Kathmandu
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1: Devendra with my father and Munna didi’s husband Col Chahar and me 2: Devendra with Ruchey and his mother 3: Devendra with auntie Kaushlaya and uncle Krishan 4: Devendra with my parents, Anand, Gauri and Gayatri 5: Devendra with Anand and Zenobia 6: Queene and Munna didi 7: Devendra with Manu and Sandeep 8: Devendra with Anand 9: Sudhir and Manu 10: Devendra with his brother-in-law Col Chahar, Munna didi and parents
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1: Devendra with Zubie and Afzal 2: Devendra with Gauri and Gayatri 3: Devendra with Priya 4: Devenda with family friends Richard Leslie and James 5: Gautam, Pari and Tarannum 6: Dr. M.P. Sahrma 7: Ruchey, me and Queenie 8: Dr. Ashok Khurana
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1: With Dr. Asoka and me at Jaipur 2: Priya at our Asian Games Village house 3: Devendra with Mrs. Goel and Mr. Chaturvedi 4: Devendra with Manu, Priya and Vajiyanti at our ancestral home 5: Devendra happy at Manu’s wedding 6: Devendra with Mrs. Amrik Singh 7: Aparana, Munna didi and Manu 8: Our pet Rambo
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Devendra and I always felt that we were abundantly blessed in having a son like Manu, who was much nicer and responsible than we expected, a son who helped us in sharing our responsibilities. He treated us as his best friends. He never made us feel the kind of sacrifices he had made in being our support, such as, missing out on spending time with friends of his age group! When Manu started working, Devendra felt proud and extremely satisfied on seeing him doing his live-links and his stories on CNN-IBN channel. He was proud of the depth of knowledge he possessed, his sincerity, hard work, intelligence, grasping power and his writing skills. Devendra used to feel good when he found Manu using a dictionary on a regular basis. He felt that it was because of this that Manu developed good diction, vocabulary and an understanding of the nuances of English as a language. Manu never fails to accept when he does not understand a word or a phrase, he quickly refers to the dictionary rather than guessing which would have never helped him to resolve his conflict when in doubt. This is his habit even now. On the last evening of his life, Devendra watched Manu’s story on CNN-IBN. He called him up to say, ‘Champion you were good as always. You were looking very nice.’ He continuously told Manu, ‘more than money it is your values, your academic worth and your sensitivity that will make you stand out in crowd.’ We were happy when Manu married Priya whom we are fond of. She passed out from La Martinier’s Girls, Lucknow and did her degree in Media Studies from Cardiff University. Devendra used to say that both of them together could do wonders if they supported each other with understanding and sensitivity. Devendra always wished that they would grow together respecting each other. While I made fewer calls to Priya, thinking that she might be busy anchoring or doing some other work, Devendra used to call her up. He would ask her if everything was alright as she had not called for days. He occasionally told her that she was looking nice while reading news bulletins. We both felt good whenever we went out with Priya and Manu and were happy when Priya expressed affection for us through small gestures. She supported Manu when he gifted us a trip to Singapore and Bintan Island in Indonesia. Priya and Manu planned it very meticulously so that we were
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comfortable and enjoyed the trip. Devendra was overwhelmed and was in a state of sheer joy. He and I were not used to accepting such a big gift. We kept on thinking what could we do for them! We were not rich but were richer than many as Devendra was generous and large hearted. Driving the cart in the beautiful golf course at Bintan, he spontaneously said that we must gift a trip to Manu and Priya to this place so that Manu could play golf and both, he and Priya, could enjoy the scenic beauty. 1: Manu with Priya on their wedding day 2: Manu and Priya, happy together 3: Priya on the day of her graduation ceremony 4: Manu and Priya, with Devendra 1
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This was Devendra’s last written message to me. 6th November 2010.
Happy and Contended
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evendra was very satisfied and content with his life. He realized how kind God had been to him and the family. He used to say that ‘God has been kind to us in so many ways, with countless blessings. We must keep thanking God for all the big as well as the small blessings.’ He was more than happy with his arrears of Sixth Pay Commission or when he learnt about the amount that he would get as pension when he retired (this he learnt few days before he passed away), he had a broad smile and said, ‘I will get so much even after I retire, you will also get almost this much, what will we do with so much?’ His staff told me that he always told them to deposit cheques in his account whenever received in his name. He was not worried about the amount much and did not waste time in calculating, which would take away the pleasure of having got something. He would rather spend his time reading a newspaper, a magazine, or a book, watching a movie or helping out a student or a colleague. Devendra was a frequent flyer but he never enrolled for his flying miles and did not even make a frequent flyer card as he did not want to use those for his or my private trips. Whenever Devendra went on a private tour with me and Manu, he made personal payment for the hotel room, the taxi and the food. He did not allow any one else to pay our bills. Whenever he used the official car for personal use, especially when he was the Regional Director, he would promptly pay for it to the university. Later, when Manu began to drive, he never used the official car for personal use. No one would believe that his bank account and GPF account had such small
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Left: The label of a handycam film. Right: Devendra on the way to Sentosa Island enjoying an ice cream.
balance. He valued honesty and integrity and never bothered about accumulating money! He could not even get his pension commuted. He believed in spending money on family, himself and on anyone who needed support, known and many a times unknown. He could not see anyone suffering or sad. In May 2009 Devendra came home a little upset after his morning walk. He said, ‘I have been noticing that Asian Games Village does not have those lots and lots of beautiful butterflies that it used to have.’ I used to go for my walk after he used to come back. I wanted to make Devendra feel happy. I went for my walk and focussed only on finding the butterflies. On reaching one of the large parks, fifty steps away from our house, I spotted ten, may be, twenty butterflies as the sun had come out completely. In my enthusiasm to show him the butterflies I tried walking fast despite my back ache, realizing, that Devendra would soon finish his breakfast and leave. As I entered the house, Devendera had finished his breakfast. I asked him to come out with me for five minutes as I needed to show him something. He hesitatingly came out and was slightly uncomfortable as he had never left home without brushing after breakfast, and also thought that it was time for him to leave for his office. However, when we reached the park, he was smiling and watched the butterflies with their beautiful designs and colours. He was extremely happy. He often used to say that when we came to this place, peacocks were seen all over, on
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our own terrace as well for three to four years. He said the peacocks have moved out as the number of Asian Games Village occupants was increasing, ‘it is a law of nature’ lamented Devendra. Nevertheless, whenever, he came across one, he would stop by to appreciate it. Many a times parking his car on the side to admire the majestic colours of the bird, the spread of its wings and discussed the same with Manu and me. Aparana and Vivek always visited us on Diwali with beautiful diyaas made by Pavani and Dexter. This time Vivek came alone to wish us. A day before Diwali, Ashok and Queenie brought dry fruits and some other gifts. Devendra asked Malti, our help, to bring containers to store the dry fruits. He said anything coming from Ashok or Anand will be kept at home. On Diwali, Anand came with a beautiful tray having peeled chilgoza (pine nuts) in two bowls. Devendra told him that chilgoza was his favourite and was happy that he would not have to peel them. He kept them in our bedroom saying ‘these I will eat. Please see that Ashok’s dryfruits are not given away.’ On our last Diwali, both of us were missing Kunti mummy (my mother-in-law). We did not celebrated Diwali or any other festival when his brothers, sister, father and mother passed away. He told me to put teeka on his mother’s picture first and then on his forehead. Manu and Priya had gone to Lucknow. This time Devendra did the Diwali prayer and aarti. I was happy. I told him that in future ‘only you will do the Diwali aarti’, not knowing that it would be his last—my last as well. I do not know how to celebrate anything without Devendra. I have not visited a temple since he passed away. I surely would make the effort. Devendra was leaving for his tour to Bhubaneswar and Koraput on the 6th of November, 2010 (the day after Diwali). This was to be his last tour. He came out of our room and handed me a hand-made paper pad saying ‘this is my gift to you’. I kept it on dining table and went to see him off. Hardly had I stepped inside the house, I saw him coming in. Dragging a dining chair he wrote a message for me on that pad. I later realized how precious it was. It was written a week before his death. He had blessed me forever. Devendra’s sudden passing away into the other world has taken away my faith in God which I thought was unshakable. As a child I grew up believing that the
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worst of things that happen to us can get alright if we believe that they would. In more than thrity-four years of my life with Devendra, both of us believed that difficulties were to be taken in our stride and we have to cope with them by remaining positive. In the worst of our situations we remained together, both at the mental and emotional levels, even in our belief and faith in God, and in each other. We were lucky to have a son like Divyamanu who was our friend, who would be with us to provide support, share responsibilities through and through. On a golf course for a tee off, a foursome is mandatory, we were a threesome all the time till Manu got married. We did not interfere in Manu and Priya’s privacy realizing they needed to be given their own space. We were able to look after Devendra’s family, especially his parents, who were a part of us as our son shared our duties. Devendra was shattered and the family stunned at the sudden demise of two of his younger brothers and an elder sister. Manu and I stood with him like a rock to assure him that we were there for him. Though my parents were in Shimla, yet they continuously provided us support through regular letters and phone calls. As a matter of fact my two younger brothers, Anand and Ashok, and their families, have been reaching out to us on an everyday basis, many a times on an hour to hour basis. Till Devendra’s last day, three morning calls were regular, one each from my brothers Anand, AshokQueenie and our son Divyamanu. Anand’s family lives in London as his younger son Gyan is severely autistic. Devendra appreciated their occasional phone calls and cards. He realized that Zenobia, Anand’s wife, had a lot to do as she was taking care of Gyan, with support from her parents who were doctors in England. He was happy to meet them each time they visited us. His concern for Gyan was genuine and continuous. He was happy that Azad, Anand’s older son, was growing up with sensitivity and making small and big adjustments with and for his younger brother. He was impressed with his knowledge of history, other human issues and his struggle to create music and do well in studies. I had spent three weekends in London, all were with the family. I was happy to be with Azad and Gyan for hours. Devendra was very happy when I told him how Zenobia, her parents and her sisters pampered me.
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1: Azad 2: Devendra with Anand 3: Gyan 4: Devendra with Zenobia 5: Devendra with Ashok 6: Devendra with Queenie
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Devendra was very proud of Anand, his face would light up with a broad smile seeing him on TV, in newspapers and magazines. He believed that with an effort which was continuous, Anand had grown as a thinker with his amazing oratory and writing skills. He felt proud that Anand is highly respected by so many people in general, and a large number of academicians, in particular, whom Devendra came in contact with. Devendra believed that Anand could be a role model for all those who wish to remain focussed and never get baffled by hardships and continued struggles. Anand visited us on Diwali day in 2010. He and Devendra had long chat. Devendra took him to our room to show three big pictures of Anand, Ashok and Gauri with him. He told Anand ‘you and Ashok are very dear to me.’ This was Devendra’s last meeting with Anand. With Ashok and his family Devendra had a bonding of a special kind. He appreciated Ashok for his hard work, intelligence, candid and jovial nature and spontaneity with which he and his family came forward to be with us in every crisis that we faced. He called Queenie his ‘God mother.’ He felt he could frankly share his feelings with her. He was proud of our nieces Gauri and Gayatri and their achievements. Devendra was happy that they never forgot to call him regularly from the US where they had gone for their studies. He kept all the gifts close to his heart which Gauri and Gayatri brought for him or us. Devendra particularly valued the three mugs that Gauri made for us when she was doing her BBA from Indiana University. He was so happy when Gayatri came on her birthday in 2010 to meet him and take his blessings (six weeks before he passed away). The cake she brought for us made Devendra even happier. Gauri did her MBA from Kellog School of Management and Gayatri did her MBA from New Florida University. When Gauri came to our house for the first time to introduce her fiancé Sudin to meet Devendra, he was thrilled at her decision to
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Facing page: Mugs made by Gauri for Devendra, Manu and me. This page: 1: Gauri after her Graduation ceremony 3: Gayatri after her Graduation ceremony 4: Devendra with Sudin 5: Devendra and me with Gauri and Sudin
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marry him. He said, ‘Gauri I am proud of your choice.’ He found Sudin grounded, decent and affectionate. Our plans of moving to our own house in South City II, Gurgaon, going together on holidays abroad and within our country, roaming around the city have been shattered. I keep convincing myself that when I am emotionally stronger I will start visiting these places and I will take Devendra in my heart and thoughts and feel his presence. I have been thinking over and over again as to why did God take Devendra away so suddenly and what will I do without him! I keep wondering to myself and Manu that had Devendra become ill, we would have rushed him to the hospital. Had he died on way to the hospital we would have felt guilty that we could not reach him to the hospital in time. Had we succeeded in reaching him to hospital and had his condition worsened and if he had passed away in the hospital, we would have still been shattered. Manu and I have been convincing ourselves that atleast Devendra did not suffer. However, I am also trying to address my anguish and see God’s kindness by keeping the following in mind: Devendra could speak to Manu after seeing his story on CNN-IBN.We were both together.We had a relaxed evening and dinner, went to sleep together. God took him away gently, even Devendra did not get to know about his going into the other world. He was sleeping with his hands under his left cheek, knees bent, he was facing me. I did not get to know about his going away as I was fast asleep next to him. He did not struggle, his face was peaceful. I discovered at six in the morning that Devendra had left our world. Every night when I hit the bed, it takes me hours, thinking about our last evening, dinner together and the relaxed conversation. It still makes me sad that it was our last. I am up several times between three and six in the morning dreading that it would soon be six when I had discovered that Devendra had left this world!
Several friends, relatives and colleagues have been making a special effort to visit me months after his passing away. One of the cards gave me an assurance that Devendra is under God’s care and will be as happy as he used to be in this world, may be happier. I am trying to address the situation that in his absence how do I deal with it even more than a year after his passing away. I feel lost and lonely. My
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mother made a great effort to remain positive, after temporarily recovering from the shock of Devendra’s death. She tried to console me by reminding me how Devendra’s life was saved after an accident. She said that God saved his life in 1981 so that Manu could grow well with a good role-model in his father and I could grow as well academically and have thirty-four year of happiness with him and face life’s challenges together. My brothers and their families continue to provide rock strong support and care to me. My son is a great strength. His messages and phone calls keep reminding me that I need to be there for him. Priya makes occassional me effort to let me know she is there for me. Every morning I pray to the Sun God that there should be life, light and happiness around Devendra. I have a strong feeling that he has already taken birth again and my prayers also extend to his new family. I pray that they should take good care of him and that the smile which he had in this world be there in the world that he is now in. I pray that God blesses him to be a good human being as he was. He should grow up as a contended, happy person with intellect. He must continue to reach out to all those who will need him there. Devendra was so much loved, respected and admired by all those who knew him that his death was a shattering personal loss to them too. These people have been visiting me months after, writing to me or calling up to express their sense of loss. This has taken away the privacy of family’s sorrow. His passing away has brought sadness to each one of them and their families. All of them depended on him, his spontaneity to reach out and his assurance that he will take care of their problems. They also have difficulty in accepting that he has gone forever. A lot of people are still calling up to let me know how they or their children were helped by Devendra. Most of them tell me ‘Mam he did so much for us, we could not do anything for him. He never gave us a chance to do anything for him but, Mam you must let us know if we can ever do something for you in our life time!’ Prof Darvesh Gopal, a colleague of Devendra shared many nice things about Devendra. He said that Devendra had not changed even after becoming a PVC. ‘He would walk into my room to ask how my wife was (who was ill) and how my work was!’ He said with lot of emotion ‘I love him and miss him every day.’ Reading Little Prince, which we both loved to enjoy reading and discussing, two
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months after Devendra’s passing away, tore me to pieces. When I reached the end of this lovely favourite book of ours, as the little princess disappeared from life while telling his friend ‘not to see the end, it would be painful’, I thought as if it was Devendra talking to me. Had I come to know that he was leaving this world, I would have screamed, howled, cried and lost my sanity. The end of this book disturbed me emotionally and made me restless for days. I did not do anything, did not want to speak to any one. I thought I would not be able to work, read or go out at all. But I did pull myself up with support from family, friends and colleagues to ensure that the life of my soul mate is shared for creating sensitivity. I gradually picked up broken threads trying to Devendra in Shimla somehow tie them, managing with a heavy heart. After many such nights I realized that Devendra has gone physically but I can feel his presence in any and every thing I do. He will be with me when I will see butterflies, birds, peacocks, rivers, flowers, plants, beautiful objects of art, read good books and meet good people. We both used to be so happy and wondered at nature’s creation and bounties. Devendra, Manu and I have been very close to each other. Whenever one hurt the other’s feeling, very little time was taken to say sorry. None of us ever slept without hugging each other. None of us had egos and a false sense of pride or the habit of holding on to issues which were unpleasant. We remained in touch on phone many times in a day and never forgot to express how much we loved and cared for each other. Devendra had a nice talk with Manu on his last evening. He and I discussed several issues while having tea and dinner. I did tell him that he was my world. We need to stay together as families by expressing love and concern several times or at least once in a day so that if there is sudden departure, one does not have regret or guilt that one had clung to an issue which was not so significant as the relationship and, had he or she said sorry and hugged, at least, the guilt would not be there. It takes a life time to come out of an emotional loss, it would become heavier with guilt. One can save oneself from the load of guilt.
Frozen Moments Warm Memories
At Kalimpong, Darjeeling
Top: At Kathmandu Above: At Sariska, Rajasthan
At Gangtok, Sikkim
Top: At home Above: Devendra with Aparana and Pavanie
1: At the Catchment Area, Shimla 2: With the caretaker of old guest house of Catchment Area 3: In Shimla
Top and above: In Mauritius
Top: With Manu in the Catchment Area, Shimla Above: On way to Darjeeling. River Teesta gave him a lot to think about
Top and above: In Gangtok
1: At home 2: In office 3: In Rajasthan
This and the facing page: Devendra with family members
Addressing a seminar
Top: Speaking at the IGNOU Regional Centre, Bhubaneswar Above: Interacting with Vice Chancellor Prof V.N. Rajsekharan and a guest at IGNOU Convocation
Top: In the August company at an IGNOU function Above: During a workshop with Indian Army officials
Top: Answering the queries during a IGNOU teleconferencing Above: With the officials of Indian Navy at IGNOU campus
Top: At the IGNOU Regional Centre Chanakyapuri, Delhi Above: With Prof S.M. Tuli and Prof Amrik Singh who were very dear to him
Top: At the IGNOU Convocation in 2010 Above: Tribal dancers welcoming Devendra at the Regional Centre, Ranchi
Top: With colleagues admiring a picturesque location near Siliguri Above: With David Theobold at the IGNOU Regional Centre, Chanakyapuri
Top left: Exploring historical sites was his passion. Devendra would spend his free evenings at such places. Top right: Devendra at Garumara National Park, West Bengal. Above: Devendra discussing the architectural style of the monument.
“Death is a certainty in human life, the Upanishads tell us: “maa mrityoh udgaat vasham” meaning ‘do not get overpowered by death’. Dr. Choudhry lived his life in such a manner that by the time his physical body breathed its last, he had gone far beyond, into the realm of immortality.” From the Foreword by Prof P.K. Mehta
ISBN 978-81-922126-7-8
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