My Family

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station, even when you barely managed to walk, you were sitting in the train with me and dozing off! When you were getting down, you saw me getting anxious. You reassured me, ‘I will be alright, have a safe journey’.

Books became our teachers and companions as children. They showed us the way, found solutions to our problems, made us happy, addressed our curiosities, healed us, comforted us, and empowered us. Books also made us address our fears and anxieties. They played a great role while we were growing up, now to calm us during stress. Nisbet’s The Railway Children has stayed with me forever.

Your ability to use language beautifully and appropriately to give it a purpose and meaning has been picked by three of us, most by Anand, he is like you, and has the most beautiful and powerful language. It has been a gift of God to have a father who actually could ‘make day light out of darkness’.

Whenever you returned from your tours you used to get beautiful gifts, sometime for Mummy, the other time for Anand and Ashok, another time for me or your parents. You thought of everyone in the large family. Your uncles, aunts, cousins and your colleagues. These gifts were colourful Himachal woollen shawls, mufflers, caps, socks, blankets, cushion covers, bed sheets and wrist watches. You never came with a single gift – atleast two, three or four. From your trip to Srinagar you got so many beautiful gifts – fur shoes, little embroidered purses, trinkets etc. You encouraged mummy to feel nice as she gave these beautiful gifts to relatives and friends. From Port Blair you got hundreds of small, medium and large sized shells which were given to friends and relatives after keeping a handful at home!

Mummy

I remember you as a happy, always smiling and positive person. You taught us to be kind to those who had no support. We saw you all the time giving whatever you had because you could never see anyone sad, tired or hungry. You were so much in love with nature. You loved feeding birds, dogs and monkeys. You used to feed rice to birds; kala chana (Bengal gram) to monkeys, and rotis

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to dogs. You had the patience to give first to the dogs, then to the monkeys and last to the birds to ensure that dogs did not get after monkeys and monkeys did not disturb the birds. Anand, Ashok and I feed birds in the morning and also remember what you have been telling us, ‘whenever you feel sad, just draw the curtains, look at the flowers, trees, listen to the chirping of birds, look at the sky with stars and moon at night and in the morning to enjoy the snow, rain, mist and the sunshine, your sadness will turn into happiness’. You always encouraged us to smile. We try to remember it! Your smile and laughter at the age of 86 is so beautiful. Your eternal contentment and goodness is what we try to have in us.

I can realise, after so many years, how you taught us to stay in the present. A month back you said ‘it is no use to keep taking your thoughts to the past or to the future. ‘You can’t change what has happened. The future is not in your hands. Yesterdays took care of themselves, today will take care of itself and so will tomorrows. We must, however, keep doing, what we must!’

You always connected with the poorest and took care of them. Many times when just about enough food had been cooked for the family, and, if a poor person came, or the dhobi (washerman) who brought a big bundle of clothes after washing and ironing, or the coolie who brought a heavy load of coal for cooking and keeping the house warm, you would give him your own share of food, biscuits and some used warm clothes. You brought abundance to our home as you used to get restless to find something for everyone with tea, several times in a day. Not only this, you would bring them into the house where the bukhari (coal burning stove to keep the room warm) was in our living room so that they could get a little warm. You used to request us not to let Papa know about it. Your message was ‘people who are in big positions are brought in with respect and offered the best. Everywhere they will receive the best and will be treated with respect. We also need to think of those who are denied this and yet they look after us’. From you, we learnt how to attend phone calls when papa was out, giving limited information to strangers, never revealing his tour programmes.

You handled the news of Papa’s jeep accident in Mandi by staying calm, immediately requesting his personal assistant to inform Papa that he should call us. I had started crying and was

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sad. When Papa called to say that he received minor injuries and he was having his meetings, you made me speak to him. I was sobbing while talking to him. The moment I kept the phone receiver down, you firmly conveyed to me that I had presumed the worst and disturbed my brothers and Papa. You explained that it was important to ‘first find out, take action or divert your mind. Panic makes one nervous and blurs clear thinking’. This was five and a half decades back but I learnt to handle situations without panic. You also taught us not to spread tales or gossip. You explained that it was a bad habit which had serious consequences. Your strong message that I cannot forget was, ‘don’t do it at home, in school or when you grow up—at work. Keep doing something meaningful which will never give you a sense of guilt’.

You were married at the age of 14, became a mother after four years. How a young mother taught us to be bold and fearless amazes me! Papa used to be touring so frequently. You were so good in teaching us how to cope, not to panic and never be afraid. Mummy, you helped us to overcome fear. I was thinking about you during my recent trip to Kasbeshwari (Kasba) a temple of Goddess Kali near Agartala, on Bangladesh border, all by myself with a taxi driver after sunset, returning to Agartala around eight in the night. Papa had so much of exposure, you kept learning from him, willingly supported our love marriages, Anand’s inter-religious, Ashok’s and mine intercaste. You have been living in Delhi with Ashok and his family ever since papa passed away. You never insisted in the last 20 years to go to Shimla, to stay in your house. You have only been asking from us if the birds, dogs and monkeys are being fed regularly by Kalyan. He has been with us for 30 years. The keys of our house have been with him. This taught us that we need to trust people. From you we also learnt that we need to look after those who work for us, their feelings and concerns, be kind to others, even strangers and never take advantage of someone’s bad and difficult situation.

I am often rude to you, but you never take it to heart, always forgive me and this made me pick up the ‘quality of forgive and forget’, I do try to practise it. You explained to us that ‘things said in anger need to be ignored, otherwise they will not let us move forward. We will become, grumpy and negative, if we don’t make

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the quickest of efforts to forget an unpleasant incident, interaction or a meeting’. I was never a good daughter, never did anything as my duty towards Papa, Anand, Ashok and their families and you. I carry a load of guilt on my soul. I have, for the last two decades, learnt to encourage every daughter to do her duty towards her parents and siblings as well to save herself from pangs of guilt, pain and the feeling, ‘I wish, I had’ which will keep disturbing her sleep as she will begin to get older like me!

I have hardly had time for a relaxed conversation with you. The recent one in June, 2019 for less than an hour helped me address my mental fatigue with your beautiful language, and, for the first time I realised that you have immense healing power. You discussed the kind of multitasking my grandmother, Papa’s mother used to do along with taking care of her five children in the absence of our grandfather. He was in Singapore, a Prisoner of War for seven years. My grandmother handled everything with care, ensuring abundance and discipline. You shared with me, that when you were with both of them, and after our grandfather had returned from the World War II, our grandmother shared with him that all his three younger brothers had taken more than their share in the family property. He told her that he was happy that it were his brothers and their children who had benefitted! With his observation, the conversation did not get prolonged. You said to me that from ‘your grandfather to your Papa and Om uncle, no one attached importance to property’. They liked to excel in whatever they did and it was Papa who reached out to so many with everything—his energy, his sense of duty and feelings. You said that you always supported him because he was supporting so many others!

You shared with me that you picked up many things from our grandfather and grandmother. You smiled and concluded, ‘there was abundance in our home’. We had time to see the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. It was so much joy. We faced challenges naturally without feeling the pressure. Life can never be only happiness, fun and laughter. Sadness and sorrows are also part of it. We must take everything in our stride and not feel overwhelmed. Everyone has completed life’s journey, so will we. ‘We have such strong support systems of good values and unconditional love with strong bonds’.

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You have practiced positivity throughout your life. In March, 2020, in the icu of Ashlok Hospital, you never stopped giving smiles to doctors, nurses, the ward staff and to all of us till you could again talk when you were shifted to the room, you began to talk with clarity and recognised Anand, Ashok, Queenie and me. When a doctor asked about us, you said ‘Jab Kiran aayee to duniya ka andhera door ho gaya, jab Anand aayaa to sansar anandmaye ho gaya or jab Ashok aayaa to duniya ke dukh santaap mit gaye’ (When Kiran arrived darkness of the world disappeared, when Anand arrived the world became happy and when Ashok arrived sadness of the world disappeared). You keep telling everyone that Queenie always looks after you very well.

You never forget to thank and bless doctors, nurses and everyone else as you come out of a hospital. The family gets strength when their loved ones do not scream and cry that they are very ill, or they are in pain. You have a great threshold to tolerate even excruciating pain and physical suffering believing that Ashok, Queenie, Anand and doctors would get worried. Each one of us has partially picked up this quality from you.

Dr MP Sharma and his team brought you out of a very critical condition in 2002 during your 25 days of hospitalisation at the All India Institute of Medical Science with an unparalleled effort and dedication. Dr Ashwani Chopra has helped you to get better during your the three critical ICU hospitalisations at the Ashlok Hospital with a sense of responsibility.

You kept yourself happy by singing film songs and bhajans (religious songs), write bhajans and poetry in Hindi. When a few months back I came to see you I could not believe what I heard, you were orally re-arranging words to make a small poem.

This is what it was: Main duniya mein aayee thee apne liye par, khud ko bhula diya duniya ke liye’ (I came into this world for my sake I forgot myself as I lived for the world)

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Bauji – Shri Satyadev Shastri

You welcomed me as your eldest daughter-in-law. With the passage of time you addressed me as your ‘fifth son’, Kunti Mummy also started endorsing that a few years later. You encouraged me to keep working hard, appreciated my simplicity and my academic commitment. You came across as a simple person, you spent most of your time working, looking after your health, reading newspapers. You could spend the entire day on these two activities. You were the Principal of Sanskrit Maha Vidyalaya, Ganda Singh Wala (near Amritsar) where the former Prime Minister PV Narasimha Rao, a former Education Minister P Shivshankar and a Professor Emeritus of History VN Dutta, Kurukshetra University were your students. When Narasimha Rao became the Prime Minister of our country, many people in the village told you to meet him. You refused with a sense of self-respect saying ‘a student must look for and find his teacher. A teacher should never go to a student. It is inappropriate’. You were hardworking and upright, did the most you could for your six children. You had an excellent command over Sanskrit and Hindi. Your keen interest to keep learning English till you became reasonably comfortable, gave me a beautiful message that one is never too old for learning. You never hesitated in accepting that you needed to learn. You used to keep asking Devendra, Manu and me why and how a word communicated different meanings. There was peace on your face as you had limited desires.

From you I tried to learn the value of eating simple, nutritious food, not having water immediately after meals. Nutritional facts that nutritionists discuss now, you talked about these much earlier. Your daily breakfast of porridge with sprouts and grated carrots with milk, having green vegetables with chapattis, lots of fruit, mangoes, around a kilo and a half along with a kilo of milk, you used to take half of this quantity in the morning, half in the evening in summers. You used to say ‘one must have adequate quantity of milk after having mangoes’. You used to eat over-ripe bananas, you believed they were more nutritious. You used to have adequate quantity of honey and garlic and litres of water to drink in a day. Your diet was both adequate in quantity and nutrition. You lived long and were able to walk briskly at the age of 86 from Asian

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Games Village to Yusuf Sarai to bring vegetables and fruit of your choice. In winters, you would eat dates, dry fruit and white butter! You used less salt and sugar and never had fried food. Your long stays in our house helped each one of us to learn from you. Manu was more of a friend to you, I recall how Kunti Mummy, Manu and you used to play games and none of you had the sporting spirit, when Manu won. You behaved like kids, fighting while playing. When Manu was to appear for his Class X Board Examination, you fell very ill. Mummy used to look after you with devotion, while Devendra and I provided relief in the mornings and evenings, Manu used to look after you from 10 o’clock in the night to 3 o’clock in the morning to provide relief to his Dadi Ma, paternal grandmother. He used to study at night for his examinations. He ensured that he woke her up with a cup of tea. You and Mummy used to always bless him abundantly. Your support and your long presence in our home every year helped him to grow up with good habits. We realise how blessed we were to have you around.

Kunti Mummy

You were full of energy, when I came into your family. I developed respect for you as you were the most hardworking person I had known. Very few mothers would have worked harder than you did to ensure that all her children were looked after well. You were very well organised and were there for each one of us. You looked after Bauji throughout, with his special food habits, ensured that he had his meals on time. I was amazed to find that you willingly did small and big jobs, seldom losing your patience. You never complained that you had to work hard with minimal support of part time workers. You would never grudge it even when all your children’s friends came over. Your standard of hygiene and cleanliness was high. You were regular with your havans (prayers) and dressed smartly almost till the end.

You were a Hindi teacher in Sacred Heart School in Amritsar. Your job must have been challenging as majority of students came from Punjabi speaking families. You used to take Munna Didi with you in a pram when she was a small baby. You would request a peon to look after her outside the class, in front of the door so that

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you could be sure that she was safe. No mother can think of doing this now because the girl child is no longer safe!

You used to share your life and endless experiences with me every time you came to stay with us. You also told me how you lost both your parents within a month when you had conceived Devendra. You were emotionally strong. You remained calm so that Devendra was born healthy. You also shared with me about life in the hostel of Kanya Gurukul, Khanpur near Sonipat, where you stayed in the hostel from the age of eight and how it helped you to maintain discipline and be organised. You helped both your daughters and all your daughter-in-laws during the deliveries of your grand children. It was very difficult for you, but you made the effort to support each one of us. You were not so young when Manu was born, you looked after him for a year and a half as Devendra and I were working for our PhDs and also working. You made us take him to Punjabi University, Patiala when we shifted from University Guest House to campus accommodation. We did manage to look after Manu. With Devendra’s accident, his 14 surgeries, you provided support by staying with us in Delhi. Ruchi looked after Manu during Devendra’s surgeries. Manu too would come back to Patiala after Devendra’s surgeries and provide all help to Devendra and me in his little, but meaningful ways. You taught your sons to share household work.

I miss our long ‘Tulsi chai’ sessions, when you and I used to discuss issues and enjoy sipping tea. Devendra and I missed your best wishes when we used to leave for tours, for months till Devendra passed away. It was painful for us to look at the door of your room in our house after you left the world. You will never know that I broke down when I saw you in my dream in Ottawa University’s Residences (Canada) telling me that you had come to say goodbye to me. It was on my mind that I could not meet you before you became unconscious and left this world forever. When you asked for me, Devendra told you that I was in Rockland Hospital, arranging a room for you! I am sure you know, up in the heaven, how close I was to you, respected you and considered the entire family as my own and never differentiated between my parents, brothers and their families. You always advised me to behave better with my Mummy!

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I had been wanting to create ‘Shrimati Kunti Devi and Shri Satya Dev Shastri Book Corner’ in Gurukul Khanpur in Sonipat District, where you studied. I wanted to speak to the Vice Chancellor of Bhagat Phool Singh Women’s University about it. Much to my surprise, I received a request to deliver a lecture there to 60 Assistant Professors in a UGC orientation programme. It was a blessing. I was overwhelmed during the lecture, felt so proud of you and shared with the participants how you and your two classmates studied there, more than 90 years back when there was no electricity. What a lonely place it must have been. The Gurukul has since grown to an unimaginable extent, it is now Bhagat Phool Singh University! I feel sad that Haryana still has quite a number of girls not going to school and a skewed gender ratio! The Book Corner has not been created as yet because the University wanted the books was not ready to create a special corner in your names. It has caused me a lot of pain. It is unfortunate that a university has failed to honour one of the three of its alumni who, despite all hardships, had the determination to study over 90 years back. I will keep trying.

Thank you Kunty Mummy for being a friend and supporting me in difficult periods, for agreeing to keep Manu, as an infant for a year and a half and, enabling me to work on my PhD thesis and for sharing your experiences.

Prof Devendra K Choudhry, my husband

I met you at an interview for a job in the Department of History, Kurukshetra University on September 10, 1975. You came across as a handsome young person with an intellect and curiosity in your expressive eyes. Your perfect mannerism and helping nature made me like you instantaneously. My younger brother Ashok and I grew fond of you within hours of our meeting. Two days after reaching Shimla, I received a letter from you, proposing to me. You wrote ‘if you are not engaged or in love, I propose to marry you’. Your simple, candid and decent way has stayed in my heart.

You visited Shimla to meet my parents in the last week of September, 1975. Papa, Mummy, Anand, and Ashok liked you a lot. They all agreed to let me marry you. We were engaged in

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December 1975 and married in April 1976. With you as my life partner, life was filled with unlimited happiness, struggle, pain and tolerance. Together, we enjoyed nature, read books and discussed issues candidly. You gave me space and we did all these things together. You had a lot of curiosity, your eyes would get bigger as you watched National Geographic and History Channels. You used to be fully engaged and engrossed in whatever you did. It is difficult to even imagine a young man meeting with a head on collision with a truck in a road accident. You lost your teeth, fractured your jaw bone and the Tibia. You suffered excruciating pain for two years. You had the endless capacity to bear all this and still work on your PhD thesis and make the effort to tell stories to our four-year old son, Divyamanu, push yourself on crutches to work in the University Library. You had blisters under your arms due to prolonged use of crutches.

You completed your thesis with plaster on your left leg for 18 months and 14 surgeries. You were meticulous, stayed focussed and kept on writing chapters through the night from the notes on the research cards, which you so meticulously prepared everyday in the library. You would work for 18 to 20 hours. Never did you complain about pain or how hard it was to push yourself on the crutches. Your MPhil and PhD thesis on Arya Samaj and The Entrepreneurship among the Khatris of Punjab were both masterpieces, exhibiting your intellect and scholarship. Prof Mehrotra and Prof Ravinder Kumar were proud of your intellectual and administrative skills. I never get tired of talking about these with friends, colleagues and in social gatherings. I am proud of you. I also tried to pick up these qualities from you.

You helped me overcome my fears and recognise my strengths. We had overcome our issues of ego in the very beginning, each leaving space for the other to become each other’s strength as well as weakness. You allowed me to grow in a beautiful way as your partner – emotionally, spiritually and professionally. It was because of your unquestioned faith in me and your silent support that I could do my duties at home with mental acceptance and willingness. We did not feel the burden of duty, as we were together in spirit in the true sense. We were fortunate to have Manu’s willingness and support in everything we wanted to do.

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I continue to talk about you to help my students, colleagues learn from your struggle and values of reciprocity, gratitude, kindness and reaching out to everyone. I still practise what I learnt from you. Besides many other values, the need to refine what we write, looking for mistakes, gaps, repetitions, inadequacies and continue to address these in subsequent drafts to ensure that our writings become clear and communicate what we wish to. I keep learning from your obsession and effort to find solutions to problems of colleagues and a very large number of students. You never offered a routine answer, ‘sorry, the rules do not permit’. I too try to find solutions to problems and provide support to colleagues, friends, students and even strangers.

In NCERT, NUEPA and Amity University, I have never come across a person in academia as gentle as you, as well dressed as you, as sensitive and kind as you. You stood out in the crowd with your warmth and smile.

You had beautiful ways of taking care of everything when we travelled, carrying a bag with ‘what might suddenly be needed’, munchies, medicines and the camera were never missing. You carried it yourself, never allowing me to carry it. I had to pick up vegetables for home only when you used to be on long tours, otherwise you never let me. Whenever you came to pick me up from my office, you always picked up my bag in which I carried my lunch and water bottles, I never liked it, I hesitated but you insisted.

You made me feel very special by celebrating my birthdays in your office. It used to be on your notice board ‘Kiran’s Birthday’. You invited me to join you and your colleagues for these most aesthetically arranged and served lunches! After your departure, your absence hit me hard. Ashok and Queenie invited me for lunch. Anand and Zenobia invited me for dinner. I broke down. Manu and Priya have taken over completely to make me feel very special on my birthdays after your departure. Priya plans it with lot of care and love. Manu has his silent but beautiful ways to express. Vaidehi makes every effort to make me feel good and happy. She holds my hands saying ‘Dadi, you hold my hand and don’t worry!’ When we were at Tonino for my 2018 birthday dinner, I was showing her trees in the beautifully lit area, I said to her that the

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tree looked beautiful as it had lights on it. She said, ‘No Dadi, it’s the shadow. Look up, the lights are over there!’ I was so happy to discover her observation and that she knows, at her age of four years, what a shadow is!

When I was on a tour to Port Blair and was having lunch in the Circuit House, a senior Police official approached me, saying, ‘Ma’am, we are taking you to Ross Island. We need to leave’. This was a surprise for me from you, as you were in Delhi at that time.

You knew it so well that I was fond of picking up small but beautiful and inexpensive things to keep and collect to use as ‘thank you gifts’. You willingly let me do it during our travels and our visits to Delhi Haat. You used to bring most beautiful things from wherever you went.

You always called to confirm whenever I was going on a tour that I had reached the airport, boarded, landed, the state staff car had come, and I had checked into the hotel or the State Guest House. You would then be relaxed. You were happy that these were taken care of by the States/UT because I was working in NCERT. IGNOU took care of these logistics for you. It would be the similar effort from you on my return. I miss you so much Devendra. You would be happy to know that our son Manu does it now. This he does with a sense of duty, even when international flights land at midnight. He tracks all my flights. Priya is always concerned. I feel overwhelmed all the time.

You were clear that we would never combine official tours with personal trips. You never came with me on my tours, I never went with you on yours! Whenever, wherever we wanted to go with Manu, we would take leave, use the weekends and avail the ltc offered by the government. Only you claimed it. We had both decided never to become an examiner for undergraduate or postgraduate levels of any university. We only accepted to prepare Question Banks for important universities when unavoidable. There were rare occasions, when we agreed to be PhD examiners. We never thought of making money from academic institutions, we stayed away from places where education was getting commercialised.

Devendra, I was moved to find Mr Chandra Vallabh in the Registrar’s room of National University of Educational Planning &

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Administration (NUEPA), talking about you with reverence about your commitment to address everybody’s problem. Your requests on phones were taken so seriously and solutions were invariably found. You never let rules come in the way of solutions, for students, academics and staff, at head quarters, at regional centres and study centres. Your solutions matched with the high standards you set for maintaining efficiency with quality and sensitivity. It is going to be ten years since you left, but people who worked with you want to talk about you for hours when they meet me. Chandra Vallabh and his wife Veena had worked with you.

You kept in your important papers, all the passes for the Parliament, Vigyan Bhawan and other places where Anand’s swearing in ceremonies and functions were held. You considered these to be of historical importance and felt happy when you occasionally glanced through those. You used to convince me that Anand needs to be in the category of a statesman, not a politician.

I often think of what you felt about many people who can bring tears into their eyes without feeling the emotion, which they express. I remember something you had come across while reading and used to often quote, ‘sentimentality is not an indication of a warm heart, nothing weeps more copiously than a chunk of ice’. I continue to talk about you, even after ten years of your departure, as if you have not left this world. The moment I feel your absence, I breakdown. I was always able to let you know that you were my life and that how much I loved you. You must know that I have not been able to forget you. I continue to love you and respect you years after your departure to the other world. I still look up to you and hope to see you when I leave for the better world!

My brothers Anand, Ashok and their families

A letter I wrote a year back to both of you expresses my feelings for you and your families. I had handwritten it for you both, a photocopy was never ever imagined. It is this:

‘I have been wanting to share with you something, which is becoming a weight on my soul. It is a mental and an emotional load which is becoming heavier everyday to carry.’

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Brothers like you are difficult to find, who, even though younger, stood by me and my family, reaching out on your own on a regular basis. The kind of difficulties we had for decades could have never been faced without your support. It was your will to help us out every time, at every cost. This must have exhausted you several times long ago, but you never let me feel that you were tired. Providing regular support meant that you had to give us your time, feelings, energy and positivity. Both of you did it as a team, your sensitive and understanding wives, Zenobia and Queenie and extremely sensitive children Gauri, Gayatri, Azad and Gyan supported you. Zenobia, you have had lot of pressure of dealing with Gyan’s severe autism, you always encourage Anand to keep reaching out to me and the family. Queenie has always been with you in doing whatever was to be done, many a times, ignoring Gauri’s and Gayatri’s needs as little girls!

I can recall only a few incidents where your own work and duties were compromised because you had to make things work for us. No younger brother or his family could or would ever be able to do so much for an older sister on a regular basis!

When Devendra met with a near fatal accident in 1981, Anand stayed back in Delhi to arrange for his admission in All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), kept the doctors waiting. You waited on the roadside for hours till Devendra arrived. You also managed to send a message from the PMO to Vice Chancellor of my University to arrange to send me to Delhi without losing time. Ashok, you rushed with Chattar Jeejaji to get Devendra from Sonipat and you got his car tank filled. Anand, you travelled in Kalka Mail at night without reservation and then from Kalka to Shimla in a bus to get the certificate of your blood donation, only two units were used out of 11 issued for Devendra from AIIMS Blood Bank. The rest were used for three more patients in ABI Orthopedic ward where Devendra was admitted.

After Devendra’s several operations, when we returned to Patiala, Ashok and Queenie transferred their gas connection in my name realising that Devendra was suffering, I was working and Manu was small. It involved a lot of formalities. Papa came from Shimla to Patiala with papers for formal transfer as formalities had to be carried out at Patiala as well. You also arranged to send

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a black and white television in a tempo from Modi Nagar. This helped Devendra to keep his mind off pain and tension. After Devendra’s surgery in July 1981, we went to Shimla for six weeks. While Mummy and Papa were always there, Queenie took a lot of care of Devendra (when you were completing your MBA).

When I look back, I realise that I eternally loaded you with my problems. Anand and Ashok, it was not your duty to do what you did for me for decades. Anand, when Devendra was in the CCU of Ram Manohar Lohia (1989), you postponed your visit to London by a week. You ensured that food and water was sent to the hospital three times a day. You also ensured that it was sent with the same regularity when you were away to London. You used to call the CCU everyday from London to find out how Devendra was for the next 10 days till the day Devendra was discharged. Ashok and Queenie took Manu to their house till Devendra was in hospital. When Devendra was in CCU of AIIMS (1990), Ashok and Queenie provided all the support. When Devendra was unwell in 1993, Anand disconnected his cooking range to send it to me within minutes of leaving Asian Games Village. When Devendra was in AIIMS in 2004–05 Queenie and Ashok provided support of every kind, Anand used to visit late in the evenings after the Parliament debates were over. A professor and HoD Paediatrics of AIIMS told me one day that I was blessed to have such responsible younger brothers who visited regularly. Her mother was admitted in the room next to Devendra’s. She said that her brother and his wife occasionally peeped in, only to say ‘Mama just peeped in to say hello, we are going out for dinner’.

In 2008–09, when Devendra had a surgery in Rockland Hospital, all support came from Ashok and Queenie with Anand’s visits getting less due to his frequent international travels. Zenobia ensured that she visited with Azad and Gyan, whenever Devendra was admitted in AIIMS or Rockland Hospital.

Zenobia, you have always looked after me whenever I was in London for work or when I stayed with you. When you took me to visit London Eye, you purchased an expensive ticket for me, realising that I would not be able to stand for a long time in the long queue. I was touched. It was a beautiful experience to go with you to Covent Garden. You took me to a beautiful South

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Indian restaurant. I loved the food and the coffee! You used to bring home food for me and my colleagues, and a lot of things for me whenever I stayed in Russel Hotel. Both of you, Zenobia and Queenie, ensured that your children gave respect to Devendra and me and they have lot of love and affection for my family. When Gayatri and Queenie went to Mount Kailash in June 2013 they brought a tiny Buddhist prayer wheel and a tortoise saying ‘Didi this is for Manu’s and Priya’s baby. We have prayed at Mount Kailash’.

Ever since Devendra left this world, Ashok, Queenie and Gayatri have given me so much of time. Mummy has been around for silent support. Anand has visited me many times in Gurgaon and does everything possible to ensure my comfort with dignity.

Your visits have reduced due to Queenie’s major spine surgery in March 2015, Ashok’s two major hospitalisations (Gayatri’s marriage was possible with Ashok getting permission of doctors to leave AIIMS for 2-3 days), Anand’s pressures of work, unspoken stress of Gyan’s and Zenobia’s health issues. Anand, Ashok and Queenie still make an effort to visit me periodically and keep in touch with me almost everyday. You now want me to spend more time in Delhi. When I vacated the NCERT accommodation to move to Gurgaon, Queenie said ‘Didi, you have a home here, walk in whenever you feel like!’ Ashok’s house has always welcomed my stays and visits. After dinner or lunch, Ashok, you offer me a piece of dark chocolate or a bite of sweet, dates or gur (jaggery), together we watch television drinking cups of green tea. Anand, you make cheese-toasts for me, even packing some for me to have when I visit you or when you notice that I am low on energy and feeling unwell.

Both Ashok and Queenie kept awake on March 3, 2019 when I vomited throughout the night. With medicines and your presence, I got better in a day. Both of you, and your families, have never failed to ensure my well-being. Anand, you are so sensitive to my physical condition, on a Chandigarh–Delhi flight when I felt choked due to extreme dryness of throat, you gave me water to sip slowly and began to talk to me to distract my attention. I began to feel better. In a prayer meeting of your close friend, which was heavily attended, you had to wait for more than half an hour.

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You asked me to move in front of you and said, ‘don’t worry, I am here with you!’ You have never hesitated to provide support to me and my family for decades in so many beautiful and silent ways to ensure comfort and dignity. You never talk about these incidents ever.

It was so nice to spend time with Ashok and Queenie in London and several times in Bombay. Ashok made a lot of adjustments with spontaneity in London. Both of you took care to make me comfortable.

Gauri, when I visited you in Chicago in 2010 with my 20 colleagues, you got food packed for all of us. It was so thoughtful and generous of you and Sudin. Going around Chicago with you was so much of fun! Gauri and Sudin always give so much of love and respect, Gayatri and Anand do the same. Sudin’s and Anand’s families treat me with so much of warmth.

Gayatri, you call me several times to find out where I am when I get late for your family functions. You come out to hold my hand each time you invite me in to your house or functions at hotels or India International Centre and drop me back. This you did even in your ninth month of pregnancy. It is a joy to see Aadya grow beautifully. She is such a joy!

It is a beautiful experience to interact with Shaan. She is so affectionate and adorable. A few weeks back she got up from sleep worried about me saying that ‘Nani Bua has got pain’, the second time, she was upset seeing me scared by scary pictures in a book. For me it is a feeling, inexpressive with the weight of emotions, to be in a two-year-olds’ dreamworld! I am happy that Indira has a beautiful caring sister in you! It is a burden to accept loads of beautiful and expensive gifts from you Gauri and Gayatri!

Azad, you are very caring and loving. When you are in Delhi you take care of me in small but meaningful ways. Uncle Devendra, and I have been very proud of your values and intellect. In London, you took the responsibility of looking after me. You gave me your room to stay in 2015 during my visit. You said, ‘auntie Kiran, make yourself comfortable, take out any book that you wish to read, shout for me whenever you need help!’ You did not leave the house while I was with you for a week. Zenobia, you used to make khichri for me as I was not well. You made special effort,

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even though you were so busy with Gyan’s issues, mentally and physically. We watched the film Selma together at home, you found time for me and took me out, which was not at all easy for you! I keep wondering at your and Azad’s depth of understanding and devotion, the way you take care of Gyan like an elder, Azad you keep telling us ‘he is my baby, I have to take care of him’. You have been managing your studies, at one point of time you were working on music to give concerts and helping out your Mom with Gyan’s care. Without your continuous care and effort Mom would be so helpless and exhausted. You were in school then! Everything about you makes me feel proud of you. We know you have had a difficult childhood, you never talk about it. There is so much to learn from you. You gifted me a beautiful book by Virginia Wolf, making an effort to ensure that Gyan could also write along with your note!

Ashok, one evening you literally forced me to watch a dance programme on TV to ensure that I could watch and listen to beautiful experiences of Helen, Waheeda Rehman and Asha Parekh, the legends of our film industry. I was in for a great learning, each one was well spoken, genuine in their friendship and passed on beautiful messages, the most important was ‘never ask personal questions, never get curious to know what the other person is doing, who is she meeting. Listen patiently to what the other person wishes to share!!

I firmly believe that one should avoid sympathy for those in difficult situations as it is a mere formality. Empathy towards a friend, relative or even a stranger gives strength and hope to a young person, child, old, sick or unhappy.

I am proud of your first book of poems, Against Frame, published in 2017. It is profound and deep. It has maturity and a feel of sensitivity and of being aware. I felt so proud when Yuyutsu Sharma, a renowned poet appreciated its depth and uniqueness at your age of twenty five! My colleague Hemant Jha, Professor of English, appreciated it so much that he reviewed the book on his own. It has been received well by academics and intellectuals. Your three poems have been published in Pratik 2019 an International Journal of Poetry. The recent review by a renowned scholar and an interview at the prestigious School of Oriental and African Studies,

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London University makes each one in our family proud of you. I know about it because my teacher Prof SR Mehrotra taught there for years.

Ashok, Queenie and I have experienced Zenobia’s and Azad’s effort to pass on information to Gyan for preparing him for everyday, especially during his visits to hospitals for checkups and procedures. Everything is written, explained and drawn. The kind of effort it requires can never be imagined, short messages, drawings, brief explanations, repeating and re-repeating several times. While Anand provides support with dedication, commitment, concern and a sense of duty; Zenobia and Azad coordinate everything even when they are exhausted. The seriousness of stem cell treatment is not understood by most people. Gyan needed anaesthesia for his PETSCAN and other tests first at Apollo Hospital and later twice on the day of his treatment at Neurogen Hospital, Navi Mumbai. There is a lot of discomfort for Gyan, anxiety and running around for Anand, much more for Zenobia and Azad. Anand, you organised everything, accompanied them to Navi Mumbai for Gyan’s stem cell treatment. We feel happy whenever you go out as a family. We also realise that each such visit also has a hidden anxiety all the time. Devendra always appreciated and admired that the family has tried to cope so well, trying to behave normally and put up a brave front. Ashok, Queenie, Gauri and Gayatri remain concerned, but never show it. Anand tries to be in Parliament and meetings even when his family is here, many a times missing to pick them up or drop them at the airport. Zenobia and Azad understand this.

Anand, you have made us feel proud all the time with your speeches, statements, books which you edited, your humanity, your sensitivity, kindness and a dignified way of conducting yourself in Parliament, remaining civilised. You never fiddle with your mobile. You reach out to your workers and so many underprivileged. My friend, Minoo Nandrajog, shared this with me as both of you had common gardener. I always have something to learn from you. I do wish to let you know how overwhelmed I was when during Gyan’s treatment in Navi Mumbai, you and I had gone for a morning walk on December 30, 2017 at Rajiv Gandhi Joggers Park in Vashi. It was a humbling moment for me to find you surrounded by so many

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admirers. The youngsters were taking Selfies with you, the number kept increasing while three senior citizens waited patiently. The moment some youngsters spotted you, they started informing their friends on WhatsApp to reach Joggers Park to see you in person.

Dr Manoj Upadhyaya handed over his card to you informing you that he was the CMD at Balaji Multispeciality Hospital in Dadar and that it would be a matter of satisfaction for him if he would ever be able to provide you and family any medical help or support. You thanked him profusely. On being asked ‘what brings you here Sir’, you humbly said, ‘some personal work’. You didn’t share anything about Gyan. You were actually quite anxious. The three very senior citizens introduced themselves as superannuated Senior Scientists, Dr Dave, Dr Singh and one more, whose name I cannot recall, from Bhabha Atomic Research Centre where they had worked for 37 years. Dr Dave discussed Dvaitwad (duality) and Advaitwad (singularity) with you. They were amazed about your knowledge. They said that they were surprised but extremely happy to find you there. They had decided to talk to you as they found in you a decent, dignified and knowledgeable person with sensitivity and high intellect. They had the patience to wait till the young crowd dispersed. They parted by saying “it is rare to find public figures who conduct themselves with dignity in Parliament. In the House, you don’t look at your mobile, you are focussed, taking notes while listening to other Parliamentarians, speak extempore and flawlessly. It has been a rare moment for us to have met you personally. We will treasure it”. Zenobia and Azad were happy to learn about it, so were Queenie and Ashok when I shared it with them.

Months ago, I met Prof Sanjay Kumar Pandey of Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU) at a Mrignayani outlet of Madhya Pradesh in Bhikaji Cama Shopping Complex in South Delhi. Prof Pandey discussed with me for a long time about your three hour long interaction with the entire faculty at School of International Studies, JNU. He said, ‘Mr Anand Sharma has deep knowledge and understanding of International Relations, Commerce and so many related issues. The faculty appreciated his deep knowledge and understanding and also his sensitive way of respecting the presence of every faculty member. We all discussed this after Mr

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Sharma had left.’ He did not know I was your sister till I smiled. The manager of the outlet, Kishan Rao, who was carefully listening to our conversation, added ‘Anand Sharmaji is like the Sun which has to invariably come out as the clouds keep disappearing’. His Assistant Manager, Rajesh Sharma, expressed his regard for you. He has worked with Mr Rao for thirty years with a strong bonding. Recently I learnt that all his three sons are doing exceptionally well in Delhi University. The eldest one is preparing for PhD in Mathematics from Delhi University. Rajesh, you could never afford any tuitions for them, they have done so well travelling from Ghaziabad to Delhi University regularly and with minimum facilities at home. This was on November 17, 2018. I am so proud of you, Anand. Ashok and Queenie felt happy when I shared this with them.

Prof Gulshan Sachdev of JNU talked about your deep understanding of international affairs and also your patience to listen to so many experts in JNU with rapt attention.

It was academically and intellectually rejuvenating for me to participate in a seminar on Foreign Policy of Eurasian countries and Russia. I went back to my student life. There was so much to learn from everyone, Prof Gulshan Sachdev, Prof Sarkar, Prof Preeti Das, their depth of understanding. Prof Phool Badan was running around with Prof Sanjay Pandey to ensure that everything went off well. The research scholars were good in their presentations and also when they responded to questions or comments. I feel sad when casual comments are made about this institution, which has turned academicians into intellectuals. One needs to be there to experience it!

My colleague at Amity University, Dr Jyotsna Thakur shared with me that her parents-in-law appreciate you a lot and wanted me to meet them. I met them recently, I did not realise that I had been there for two hours. They appreciated your goodness and the help you provide to so many without talking about it. They said that they look forward to listening to your powerful speeches. They feel proud that because of you, Himachal Pradesh is known the world over. Mrs Thakur taught Hindi in Government College Sanjauli, Shimla, where you were a student. Your Hindi teacher, Mrs Tuli, who taught you in Central School in Class IV was full of

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praise for you and extremely proud of you when I met her in Shimla during my 2018 visit. She is now a neighbour in Shimla. Both Mrs Thakur and Mrs Tuli feel proud that you have a clean image which is reflected on your face. Mr Mukesh Agnihotri and his wife Prof Agnihotri invited me over, gave me so much of respect because they respect you for your maturity, for your efforts to contribute to the development of Himachal Pradesh and for your clean image! Both felt proud of your high intellect and that you never asked for any favour in your sixteen year old relationship with them. Prof Agnihotri shared with me that you honoured Prof SR Mehrotra during a seminar on Gandhi in Shimla. She was amazed at your knowledge and clear communication. Ved Garg, owner of Shivalik Hotel on Dharampur-Kasauli Road called his staff and son to meet me only because I was your sister. He appreciates your image, knowledge and kindness, even for those who have not been kind to you. You believe in being good for the sake of goodness. I stop here for a tea break on my way to and back from Kasauli every year.

When I went to Vishakhapatnam as a Keynote Speaker for an International Conference on School Psychology, I was in for a beautiful surprise. Dr K Shanti first shared her happiness of knowing you and then gave a letter to me the next day:

Dear Prof Kiran Devendra I was nominated as a member for Hindi Advisory Committee, Ministry of External Affairs when the Minister of State was Honourable Anand Sharmaji who chaired the different meetings and headed the prestigious world Hindi Conference held at New York (USA). I attended and participated in the meetings in Delhi and in the US. We were taken by a special flight, made to stay in a good hotel and were looked after well! I experienced Sri Sharmaji’s dedication towards propagation of Hindi at global level. Sharmaji is not only a political figure but also a great intellectual and true Hindi lover who works for Gandhiji’s dream for the propagation of Hindi not only in India but also at global level. Gandhiji strongly believed that ‘It is also the responsibility of the citizens of India to propagate Hindi and to implement Hindi

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as common language at global level as well’. In his meetings he gave space to each and every member and listened to their problems in propagating Hindi in A, B, C regions of India. He encouraged all members to discuss the solutions with him and his team. He adopted the resolutions suggested by the members and implemented those for the propagation of Hindi in India as well as at global level. I felt blessed during Mr Sharma’s tenure in the Ministry of External Affairs, a minister who respected the academicians and scholars! Yours sincerely K Shanti, Assistant Professor in Hindi, Gayatri Vidyaparishad Colleges for Degree and PG Courses, Vishakhapatnam

An equally proud moment has been to listen to your recent lecture at FICCI, your argument about intellectual morality in politics and administration is so much the need of the time!

On my return from Chennai on November 12, 2017, I had a strong urge to visit Ashok’s house. On reaching there I found my chair, which is generally in Ashok’s and Queenie’s room, kept in the living room. Ashok asked me how my trip was, asked me to sit and have water. He told me that Mummy’s sugar level had dropped drastically. Queenie is used to handling this, Ashok panicked but did all that he could. Queenie, who had gone to the market, told him to give her three spoons of honey and other sweet things and she herself rushed back without picking up anything from the market. What moved me was, that Ashok had put his mobile close to Mummy with a loud volume so that she would listen to bhajans and relax. Queenie and he were constantly standing there to monitor and watch her condition. Mummy felt a little better and then Ashok brought sweets for her and with a faint smile said, ‘Mummy it has been a feast for you to have so many sweet things!’ This he said to lighten the tension for each one of us. There have been several such episodes but the most beautiful part is Ashok and Queenie never let me or Anand know about these, to save us from anxiety! They are the youngest but very responsible and sensitive. Mummy has been with Ashok and Queenie for 21 years. She was

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twice in icu in 2013–14. Ashok, Queenie and Gayatri did not go to the factory at all till Mummy recovered. Queenie herself monitors Mummy’s condition to adjust dose of Insulin injection and observe her directly, indirectly every morning and evening. She had trained Gayatri to do it. The maids have instruction to keep going to Mummy’s room every hour to ensure that she is alright. When Queenie had her major spine surgery in Chennai, Gayatri took over, as Ashok was with Queenie. In Queenie’s absence, Ashok looks after me so caringly and ensures my comfort whenever I stay back or visit.

Anand, Zenobia and I are always sensitive to the continuous pressure on Ashok and Queenie as they feel responsible for Mummy’s well-being. It is not easy to look after old people as they have health and emotional issues. The elderly lose their confidence fast, become nervous. Zenobia you know it, as you took care of your mother with Gyan’s problems. I know it, as Devendra, Manu and I took care of Bauji and Kunti Mummy during their illnesses. We were lucky to have support from Munna Didi, Ruchi, Manu and Priya.

I recall Anand feeding Ashok like a child, just a bite or half a banana, sometimes full, because everyday he diverted Ashok’s mind to make him have a small bite. He used to come several times in a day. In June 2015, when Ashok was rushed to the emergency of Ashlok Hospital, while Queenie, Gayatri and I were waiting in the lounge, I informed Anand who reached the hospital within minutes, and reassured us, ‘he is alright, don’t worry’ and then walked into the Emergency. Queenie, Gayatri and I realize that Anand conducts like a mature and responsible ‘big brother’, to save us several times from worrying and getting anxious.

Ashok was on a liquid diet through the drip for days. Still, he ensured that tea and snacks were ready for me when I visited him in the hospital. He used to tell everyone that I travel long distance to see him.

Anand’s love, care and concern for Ashok was silent but overwhelming. Azad was taking care of Gyan but was very concerned about Ashok. Zenobia became very emotional when Ashok kissed Gayatri during her wedding and, when she was being sent off after marriage. Azad went to leave Gayatri at her new

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home. They did all they could, and what they had to while rushing to attend to Gyan and remaining concerned about Ashok as well.

The beauty about my relationship with both of you and your families is that we have frank discussions, arguments without an ill will. We rush to provide love, care and support, there has never been a second thought. Ashok, Queenie, Gauri and Gyatri are constantly worried about pressures on Anand, Zenobia and Azad due to Gyan’s severe autism.

There can be occasional arguments and different point of views in raised voices but every such incident loses significance, the moment we say goodbye. Each one appreciates the strengths, pressures and goodness of the other. None wishes the other ill or has a bad feeling for the other. Each family member’s well-being is the strength for the three of us. This has been possible with Queenie making positive effort frequently and Zenobia making similar effort when she is around.

Queenie, you motivate me to write, travel and monitor my health, blood pressure on a daily basis. Zenobia and Azad, you keep giving me strength to publish. I keep getting a message that one needs to go on. Zenobia, your commitment for Gyan, pushes you to keep finding the latest medical development for Gyan, discussing it together as a family and with doctors, hoping all the time that he would get better. The smallest and the biggest of effort matters, and even a very little improvement in Gyan makes you stay positive. All of you overlook when many do not understand your anxieties, your health issues and keep going for Gyan along with concern for each other’s health!

Ashok touched my heart when he said, ‘Kiran, we are brothers and sister in this life only. We should never allow anyone to spoil our beautiful relationship’. Anand keeps reinforcing this silently with his concern for Ashok, me and our families. Ashok has taken strong stands, he cannot listen to anything against Anand and me. The 2018 Rakhi had been unique. Anand was not in town. He called from London. Ashok realised my difficulty of tying Rakhi on his wrist. He gave me his glasses, held one side of the Rakhi to help me put the hook in the loop. I missed it several times due to extreme pain in my right hand. Ashok kept on helping till I managed. It eventually made me feel good and happy. His patience

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was remarkable! He has his ways of letting me know that he cares. He keeps reminding me to visit him on a Sunday so that Anand and I can also meet. He does not stop worrying about my hair fall. He forgets I am older than him. Thank you Queenie for baking sweet bread for me with oats, raisins and nuts and also sweets made of almonds, walnuts and honey.

Ashok and Anand are concerned about my dignity, respect and well-being. They are supported by their families. Ashok and Queenie keep collecting loads of beautiful things for me, like the best teas of the world. Ashok keeps telling me to pick up what he feels I have liked. Queenie occasionally gives me a huge packet of gifts for myself and my friends. Anand gave me a Pashmina shawl, two single weave shawls, a small beautiful carpet and many more beautiful things have been passed on to me by Anand and Zenobia. Anand has never talked to us about his back pain, his difficulty to straighten it when he gets out of the car, and then begins to walk, taking small steps. I have always seen him walking briskly. He rarely talks about mental or physical fatigue.

I was taken aback on Delhi-Toronto flight on October 8, 2019 to find your ardent admirer Jayant Rao Lakhe, a steel businessman in Toronto. He said that he had immense respect for you, your contribution in the Ministry of External Affairs and Ministry of Commerce & Industry. He shared that he has been following you for the last 15-20 years and his respect and admiration for your knowledge and intellect has been always there. Prof Baldev Kumar’s sons Gaurav and Punit have been following you. Both admire you.

Anand and Ashok, you have respected me like a mother but protected me like a daughter. You make me feel beautiful by making me a part of your families, ensuring my comfort when I visit you or I travel with you. Ashok and Queenie, you never get tired of picking up a comfortable chair for me from living room to your room for several years. Anand, you never forget to come out to see me off. Queenie and Gayatri have done it for years, if Queenie is out, Ashok does it. It was beautiful to experience Anand’s care with love and sensitivity in Shimla and Chandigarh. All your friends have always given me a lot of respect.

Zenobia makes every effort to hold small musical concerts

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of Gyan and exhibitions of his paintings, mainly cards and uses the money for charity! The effort is immense, every card has this message at the back: ‘this painting has been done by Gyan, an autistic person, with the help of his art teacher!’

Azad, thank you for choosing gifts of a precious books for me The Silk Roads, A New History of the World by Peter Frankopan. It is useful for my teaching.

Ashok, you ensure my comfort by your thoughtful care, ensure that I can rest, and instruct the maids to cook for me only after asking what I will eat in Queenie’s absence. In case both of you need to go, instructions remain the same.

Anand, I went to your house after a meeting at India International Centre. You were in the Parliament, I did not go in, your staff requested me again and again to have tea etc. I suddenly was numb as I walked away quietly thinking how you gracefully manage loneliness and so many challenges silently. I suddenly recalled your conversation with Zenobia ‘I am waiting for the day when we can take Gyan to a restaurant’. You have waited for years. Gyan has himself been waiting to go!! You know Gyan gets uncomfortable seeing a crowd, it is not the same for him when you take him to a room in a hotel where he is relaxed. Next day you called me up to say ‘never go back even when I am not there. Treat my house as yours, have food, rest and then go’. Anand, when you came to know that I like garlic bread, you told me that you bake it for yourself. You promised to bake it and send it for me every week. I was so happy to get it (in the third week of July 2020). I wish to tell you that I had never had such a delicious garlic bread. Thank you so much for finding time to do it for me.

I am indebted to you, Anand, Ashok and your families for being so good to my large family and me. However, I leave this to be judged by the family!

You make every effort under the sun with a sense of duty and affection to ensure my emotional well-being.

Manu, Priya and Vaidehi

Manu, our only child, you have been a source of strength, joy and pride to us ever since you were born. From the age of four,

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you helped me look after your Papa, who had met with a serious accident, leading to a year and a half long period of hopitalisations and 14 surgeries. It was at this time that you started your first school in Patiala city. The University bus used to take you and bring you back to our Campus residence. You have been a child who never had tantrums, never got spoilt and never made any demand. You understood that Papa was passing through a difficult period. You used to sit with him, talk to him and listen to his stories. Both of you used to sing and enjoy being together. A close bond grew between Papa and son, I was happy and proud of it. I encouraged it as I was sure that you would silently pick up the qualities of hard work and perseverance when you will treat your Papa as a role model.

You learnt to spend more time with us, enjoy interactions with our colleagues and their children. You also grew close to Prof Owen W Cole, a British historian who remained our good friend till he passed away in 2015. He had dedicated his book on Hinduism to you as he was impressed by you, your way of talking, your good manners. You were only seven years old then. I have passed on the first copy of this book to you, which Owen had sent with a letter, wishing that you too would treasure it.

Manu, I have so many beautiful memories of you as a child. You never got used to pampering, always cooperated. It is a joy to share your childhood memories, which I treasure and keep close to my heart. When you were four years old, Papa was on bed after his surgeries. You used to go on your cycle, to the campus market to get small things which we needed at home. Papa and I were proudly overwhelmed when Ms Singh, wife of HoD Mathematics, shared with us that she was in Manjit’s shop, when some children took out toffees from the jar as Manjit turned to pick up articles for customers. When these children tried giving you a few toffees, you refused by saying, ‘I will not, my parents will ask me how I got these! I will not have any answer as you stole these!’ I experience moments of bliss seeing Vaidehi, your daughter, growing up so well, happily with Priya’s great effort and your exceptional participation in her upbringing. I keep going back in time when Papa did so many beautiful things for you!

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Your sense of responsibility, closeness to your Papa and your paternal grandparents who stayed with us for months every year made Papa and me happy. Seeing you play with them, fight on losing a game made us experience how the generational differences melted effortlessly!

Thank you son, for helping us perform our duties and for your eternal support which was spontaneous throughout. We never had to go to your school or college Principals to listen to complaints. You ensured by your good behaviour that your parents never had to experience embarrassing situations.

You helped us not only to look after your paternal family but also Papa’s IGNOU colleagues who faced problems. You made us feel proud of you when, you alone, shifted our neighbour Uncle John Chauhan to AIIMS casualty, consoled auntie Chauhan and waited till his office people (from CISF) reached. He was the Joint Director of CISF.

You provided a lot of support during your Nanaji’s (maternal grandfather) illness, visited him regularly and went with him to Shimla on his last trip. When you learnt about your Dadaji’s (paternal grandfather) passing away, you and your Nanaji returned to Delhi immediately. You came to our native village and performed the duties of a grandson, providing all support in the village and later in Delhi.

We often wondered what we would have done without your love and unparalleled support! We are happy about your choice of Priyanka as your life partner. We felt that a daughter stepped into our home. Priyanka made a genuine effort to adjust with us. Papa and I enjoyed going out with you and Priyanka because she knew what we would like to eat, where we liked going, even to new places that you both took us to, were chosen with sensitivity, keeping our taste and comfort in view.

Priya, you willingly supported Manu in giving Papa and me an international holiday to Singapore and Bintan Islands in Indonesia. We enjoyed thoroughly as we had never gone out of our country together. We felt blessed, were touched finding ourselves in Orchard Hotel on the Orchard Road in a beautiful suite, and, a limousine taking us around. It must have cost you a fortune but both of you considered our comfort as most important.

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After Papa’s passing away to the better world, Priya and you make regular effort to ensure that my well-being and comfort level is never lost sight of. You also made initial effort to take me to social gatherings where I needed to go to save me from getting lost. Priya always kept coming to me, ‘Mom are you okay?’ You used to get something for me to eat as you knew well what I could eat. You now understand my emotional difficulty to attend marriages and parties. You have beautifully taken over the responsibility of representing Papa and me. You never forget to pick up beautiful comfortable shoes and handbags for me so that my back is comfortable. I have never had to pick up shoes for the last 13 years. You choose light weight bags with good number of pockets. Priya you understand my needs well. You keep offering to buy gifts for friends and strangers whenever I am travelling. You appreciate that I need gifts even for strangers. You keep asking if you can send me groceries and willingly give what I like in your house, keep things ready which you feel will be useful for me. I am touched!!

Priya got Manu to order four sets of special glasses for me. These were glasses with green tea already in them, only hot water needed to be added. These were of different flavours, Tulsi, Honey Ginger, Jasmine and Mint. Priya said these will be convenient for me to use in office, at home or when I travel. Manu religiously passes on a message with Priya to keep doing those things which give me happiness. He gets ball points for me which help me write with less pressure on my hand!!

You keep picking up things which I very much like and need. Both of you work hard to ensure that your daughter Vaidehi has a beautiful bond of love and affection with me. I am overwhelmed each time I leave your home. It is a joyful experience and I get a unique sense of satisfaction. It is satisfying for me to see that both of you give your love, time and energy to ensure that Vaidehi grows into an emotionally strong child. How I wish Priya, I could do for Manu what you do for Vaidehi!

Manu, you got me a dependent credit card with a limit of five lakh rupees. You keep reminding me to use it, Priya you insist that I use it. I keep assuring both of you that I will, when I need to. It is such a reassuring feeling of being cared for! Both of you took leave from work during my hospitalisation to look after me. Your

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concern during my illness overwhelmed me. You and Priya make me feel how my presence is needed in your and Vaidehi’s lives. When I was very ill, Priya’s message moved me:

‘Dear Mama you are very important to us and always will be... there is so much more we all have to experience as a family and for that you need to look after yourself always as we will need you more when Vaidehi is in college…then we can all just sit around, sip cups of tea and share stories of her growing up years. Stay strong. We are always here. Love always.’

When I was ill for months in 2017, both of you insisted that you would accompany me to AIIMS and Mahajan Imaging Centre for my checkups, investigations and procedure. I had great difficulty in dissuading you. You were so anxious. I kept assuring you that I would take you with me when I feel that I cannot manage. As long as I am mentally alert, I can manage as I can explain my problem to the doctors whom I have known for so long. The doctors are so good to me. Priya, you made Manu come all the way for my dental procedure. Manu thanked Dr Major Meenaxe and made the payment too. It was a Saturday, a day which he needs to spend with Vaidehi and you. It did give me a sense of guilt.

I feel that children should not be loaded with information, incidents which can easily upset them. Parents need to realise that children have their work pressures, the anxiety of taking care of their family and ensuring the smooth running of their homes. I wish to save you from anxiety as much as I can.

I was moved when Priya and Manu forced me to stay with them for the weekend to overcome the grief of Rambo’s sudden passing away. You were sure that sharing with both of you and playing with Vaidehi would help me. I was happy to spend so much time, which was full of Priya’s care, Manu’s meaningful discussions and Vaidehi’s love in abundance. She used to come to me the moment she got up, listen to bhajans, kept talking to me and looked forward to listening to stories from me. Priya, you would give me all my medicines and tell the maids to be around to help whenever I needed, even at night. Days later, you insisted on coming to Gurgaon in very heavy rain to take me out for dinner

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on my birthday. I failed to dissuade you. It was a great effort in the heavy downpour but both of you made it. It is God’s greatest gift to have children who remain sensitive and go out of their way to do so much for their parents. Priya and Manu you make me feel cared for, go out of your way to make me feel comfortable. Priya, you keep packing food and other beautiful things for me each time I come to visit you!!

I have had moments of countless joy when I get pictures from Priya of Vaidehi wearing new dresses, playing with a balloon or eating from a tiffin. There has never been anything given by me for Vaidehi, which, Priya and Manu have not used for her. Whatever I pick up for her, Priya always sends a message ‘thank you Dadi’ with a picture of Vaidehi. Priya and Manu have branded dresses, shoes, toys, bags for her, what touches me is that they respect whatever I take for Vaidehi. I get emotional when I recall that Priya asked for Papa’s kurta before Vaidehi’s birth. Rashmiji got a frock made out of it from Lucknow and this is what Vaidehi wore on the first day of her life! When she was in your arms Manu, you quickly opened Papa’s picture on your mobile and put it on her forehead! You wanted your Papa to first bless Vaidehi. Manu you have been taking her every morning to the ‘pooja room’ where your Papa’s photo is kept, to seek her granddad’s blessings. Vaidehi has now got used to it. Priya encourages it.

Priya and Manu, you celebrate Vaidehi’s birthdays in special ways. Both of you plan it together – Priya puts in a great effort to see that all goes well, children have fun and meaningful return gifts. This time Priya picked up beautiful woolen mufflers and caps from a Women’s NGO that supports education of children in the hilly areas. She feels that even when these would get passed on after use, these would be used by the under privileged children. I am happy that Priya is so sensitive. Manu never forgets to complement her by doing many other beautiful things! Vaidehi is turning out to be a sensitive child.

Vaidehi was going to be four years old, it was so touching when last week she got a framed picture of Devendra and me saying ‘Dadi hamare pas aapki photo hai aur yeh mere Dadu hain’ (Grandma, we have a photo of you and my grandfather).

I feel happy and satisfied that Priya ensures that Vaidehi is

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not only good in studies but also in dancing, music and picking up social skills. I feel good that Vaidehi has picked up both Hindi and English so beautifully, pronunciation and diction! Vaidehi gave a group dance performance at Kamani Auditorium. She actively participates in her school functions. I feet proud that you are members of the Round Table, an organisation which supports education of the underprivileged school children. I am happy that you take Vaidehi with you to occasionally distribute food to patients in Safdarjung Hospital and AIIMS. You ensure that all of you have the same food with other members of Round Table!

Manu and Priya got me a cushion for Mothers’ Day which said ‘100 Reasons why I Love My Mom’. Priya got the lovely red cushions with owls. I love these. These are on my bedroom sofa so that I see these when I get up every morning. Vaidehi got a yellow duck (in picture section) as a gift for me when she visited me. I love it. It is on my bedroom book rack. I can see it every day. All these gestures motivate me to keep going! Priya has encouraged Vaidehi to share her toys, games, storybooks and her cycle with her friends.

Thank you Priya and Manu for proudly introducing me to your friends. Each one I meet for the first time already knows a lot about me, letting me know ‘Priya keeps talking about you’. I was happy meeting Dr Mekhala Krishnamurthy of Ashoka University who has degrees in Sociology from Cambridge and Harvard Universities. Her daughter Akhila is Vaidehi’s best friend. It was a beautiful interaction. Priya, it was equally beautiful to interact with your old friend Shiva, a 2009 batch IAS officer!

Thank you Priya for always receiving me in big functions, holding my hand and taking me in, looking after me and then both Manu and you seeing me off, realising all the time that I won’t be able to manage on my own!

Priya and Manu had been wanting me to shift to their house during the Covid-19 lockdown. Vaidehi took a promise from me that I had to come for two days. I went, but Priya, Vaidehi and Manu did not let me leave even after a week that too with a condition that I would come back the next week. I was looked looked after so well, Everyday Priya would ask me what would I want to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Priya had entrusted the maids to look after my needs and they did take care of me all

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the time! Vaidehi kept me busy with her activities while I did my morning walks in the driveway.

Vaidehi did cycling, played with football, fed the neighbour’s two big dogs. Having ‘Tea Party’ everyday was a special evening ritual to which we both looked forward to while Priya got the snacks ready. Manu and Priya used to walk every day to the market to get vegetables, fruit, milk etc. They did not use their car or take a maid. While looking after the house with three full-time maids, Priya had to keep Vaidehi busy. She would make sure that Vaidehi attended her online classes and did her home work. Manu also spent a lot of time with Vaidehi. Priya has been taking painting classes online. Many have joined her classes.

Manu used to be on his computer preparing articles, writing notes and be in regular touch with his office. I realised how committed he is to his work. He writes flawlessly and finalises a script in two-three hours. His writing is mature and powerful. I make at least ten drafts if I have to write something! Priya appreciates his writings and keeps telling me ‘Mom, Manu really writes very well’.

Munna Didi, Narendra, Sudhir, Sushil and Ruchi

It has been a beautiful experience to be friends with you for so many decades. We shared jokes, had arguments and laughed together. We had strong emotional bonding. I never differentiated between my brothers and you. You were good, caring and concerned when I was carrying Manu and after I delivered him. Sudhir, you used to take me for my medical checkups. Narendra, you bought me a beautiful red cotton suit with white polka dots. Ruchi, you used to accompany me on long morning walks, even though the youngest, you and I shared so much. You provided a lot of support to bring up Manu as long as he was in Amritsar. You willingly looked after Manu during Devendra’s 14 surgeries. Sushil kept Manu busy by playing with him. Each one of you were and still are fond of Manu, Priya and Vaidehi. We got close to Munna Didi during her family’s stay with us in our Asian Games Village house. Aparna stayed with us for a year. In the two bedroom house, there were times when we were so many of us, Sudhir’s

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family, Kunti Mummy, Munna Didi’s family, Sushil and the three of us. Once all of us celebrated Diwali together in Asian Games Village, it was fun.

When a large number of family members used to come to our house for happy or sad occasions, it was manageable because both Munna Didi and Ruchi used to help out. Kunti Mummy was always supportive. We managed these family get-togethers in our small campus flat of Punjabi University, Patiala as well. We were able to manage acute water shortage in Asian Games Village due to Sushil’s hard effort for hours everyday. He would ensure that ample water was stored. Munna Didi, you always helped in every possible way. Both Munna Didi and Ruchi have been hardworking and organised like Kunti Mummy, never shirked work, never considered any work small or big. Both were able to provide support with their understanding husbands Col Chahar and Group Captain Sudhir Verma. I love to talk to Colonel Chahar to learn about his difficult posting, specially Srinagar and Kargil, his participation in 1965 Indo-Pak War. Group Captain Sudhir Verma has been a Test Pilot of Indian Air Force and also Chief Test Pilot of Hindustan Aeronautics Limited, Ozhar, Nashik (Maharashtra). Both have been committed to their profession and have passed these values to their children. Their children Aparna, Vivek, Gautam, Tarannum, Kanishk, Sanam and Vaijayanti provided support to every member of their maternal family. It was, and still is difficult, for a married daughter in India to do so much for parents and siblings in the absence of support from her family. Munna Didi and Ruchi, you have been fortunate to provide enormous support to your parents and brothers and their families. We were blessed to have Munna Didi’s and Ruchi’s support in times of difficulty. Rekha, Nirmala, Rano and their children Vikram & Anjali, Arjun & Pushpa, Preeti, Dhananjay & Hanah, Surabhi & Manuj, Shreshtha & Amit have been respectful to everyone in the family and I am happy that all children have done well and worked hard to stay together. Chattar Jeejaji you touched my heart when you recently called up to say ‘Kiran, I apologise for not remaining in touch as often as I should have! You and Devendra have always been so good. Stay happy and healthy. God bless you.’

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Thank you Nanha for letting so many in Gohana know on your grandson’s birthday in January 2020, how Devendra and I looked after Mummy and Bauji, sent a big TV, fridge and our car to ensure their comfort. You spoke so respectfully about my parents and brothers who, you said, always provided support. You also shared how hard an effort it was for me to keep everyone in the family together, you did not hesitate to share that Mummy and Bauji used to stay with us every year for more than eight-nine months every year, ‘they liked to stay with Dev Bhaiyya, Kiran Bhabhi and Manu!’

Ruchi’s sister-in-law Sandhya and her husband Shailendra remained close to us for years. We respected them for taking care of their daughter Sunanda, a Thalassemic child, her medical needs with focus and undivided attention. Her academic achievements were encouraged. She was given space to nurture art, I saw her work exhibited at her Prayer Meeting, at the age of 32. Beautiful paintings, each with a message, a poem!

Rashmi and Pawan Agarwal

Devendra and I were happy (I continue to be happy) that Manu chose Priya as his life partner. Both of you never get tired of giving love and blessings to Manu.

I need to thank you for all the support that you provided in our periods of bereavements, of Kunti Mummy and Devendra. You were in Delhi visiting and sharing our grief of loss for more than 10 days. Both the times it was difficult to travel from Lucknow, as the two of them left this world in the morning and their cremations were within three-four hours! When I had my gallstone surgery, you were there for more than a week. I do realise that each time you came, you had to leave your work. I was not able to thank you for your gestures of genuine support all the time, but I have been touched and overwhelmed each time. Thank you for giving respect to us, looking after me so well each time I come to visit you and during Rohit’s wedding.

Thank you for inviting me to Mussourie with Priya and Manu when you were holidaying there. I was able to relax and feel good. Thank you for your valuable support during and after Vaidehi’s

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birth and for so lovingly looking after her in Lucknow, whenever she is there or in Delhi during your visits.

Rohit, you are like a son to us. Papa and I have been, and I still am, very fond of you and your wife Snigdha. You are affectionate and respectful to me. I want both of you to know that I appreciate all the little and big things that you keep doing for me.

What has touched me is your empathy for stray dogs, Rashmiji. You have a huge room for 30 or 40 of them and two workers to take care of them, taking them to Vets for regular checkup and treatment. You did not mind making a small arrangement for stray dogs on the side of the main entrance to your house. Priya is like you, equally passionate about stray dogs. She goes out of her way to cover many with blankets during winter nights and gives food to many of them every morning and evening throughout the year.

Thank you for all the expensive and beautiful gifts which you regularly send with Priya, often bring them with you when you come to Delhi and even when I visit you in Lucknow.

Rashmiji, I am grateful how you and Bhai Saheb take care of me during big functions. You looked after me during the marriage of Snigdha’s brother and at Sugandha’s wedding in Aligarh. Sanjeev, Chhaya, Sawan and Sugandha have always been respectful. You ensure that I sit with you! Rohit is always around, Snigdha looks after me silently. You have always worried about my comfort.

Om Uncle and family

You were Papa’s younger brother. We have been fond of you, Mithlesh auntie, Jolly, Tincoo and now are fond of Sushil, Ronnie, Vikram and Ratin. When I came to work in Punjabi University, Patiala, I became close to each one of you. Devendra was working for his PhD thesis on his crutches after his accident. Tincoo, you got Manu admitted to Our Lady of Fatima Convent School, one of the best schools of Patiala. Both Jolly and Tincoo had studied in this school. Tincoo, you used to pick up Manu from school initially whenever I got late due to traffic jam. Mithlesh auntie, Om uncle, Jolly and Tincoo, you ensured that Manu did not feel out of place. Gradually Manu’s teachers ensured that they would put him on to the University bus. University bus drivers and conductors were

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very good to children of the faculty and staff who went to the city to study in schools.

Uncle and auntie, you were respected in the academics, as Head of the Department of English in Mahendra College, a prestigious college of Patiala, auntie as Head of the Department of English in the Government College for Women. It made Devendra and me proud. Jolly, you are now teaching in Mahendra College. Your son, Vikram is an Assistant Professor in English Department of Punjabi University. Jolly, I am happy and proud of your family’s academic orientation. Tincoo taught in good schools during Ronnie’s postings and later in Noida. Ronnie is into so many creative things. Ratin is a senior official in hospitality industry. He published his book years back. Sushil and Ronnie are both retired Colonels from the Indian Army. Both the families give a lot of respect to us and are concerned about our well-being. Meeting both the families is a beautiful experience. It is satisfying to know that you are always there with your concern and affection for us.

Uncle, you could spend your time meaningfully after years of passing away of Mithlesh auntie. You had continuous support and care from Jolly, Tincoo and their families. Your passing away has upset Anand, Ashok and me so much.

Auntie Kaushalya and family

Uncle Krishan and you migrated to Canada about 50 years back as teachers when Mukul and Monty were small children. Uncle, you shared with me later during my official visits to Canada, ‘we decided to come so that our children could do the best in academics’. They actually have done the best with Mukul, Dr Mike Sharma becoming an internationally renowned Neurologist, sometimes leading and other times as team member of large international researches on stroke. Mukul, you have been sensitive to rehabilitation of stroke patients as well, because those who survive need to become part of their family first and then of the community. Mukul, you left your job at Ottawa Hospital to dedicate yourself to research at McMaster University and its hospital. You continue to be Deputy Director of Stroke for Canada. Monty, you have done exceptionally well in Computers. You have

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discovered so much, for the first time. You are now focusing on educational games. You are considered to be a wizard in Boston for your consistent effort of discovering and sustaining new concepts.

For you auntie and uncle, it was a great effort to adjust, do well, to be recognised as good teachers of History and Hindi. The last time I visited you in 2011, you shared with me how difficult it was to adjust, work harder than the natives to keep going and staying in a system, which was created by and favoured the natives. You both have a sense of satisfaction and told me once ‘we are respected for our dedication and commitment. Both Mukul and Monty have made us proud by their achievements, sincerity and dedication.’

I get nostalgic about how Mukul, with your tight schedule, came to pick me up from Ottawa University for dinner and quietly picked up my bag, which I was to take to Halifax the next day. I did not want you to be hassled on a Saturday morning. I told you that the hotel would have me dropped at the airport at five in the morning. You spoke to the front desk to cancel the booking for the car insisting ‘it is not difficult, I do it for myself at least twice a week!’ Your wife Doris had prepared Indian meal for me. It was lovely meeting your three children, curious, intelligent and well brought up. Your sons Kurt and Blair made long conversations at the dinner table. You introduced your daughter and said ‘her name is Emily Kiran’, and then pointing at me, you told Emily ‘this is where your name comes from’!

When I got up at five in the morning and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea for myself, I found Doris had already prepared it for me. I was touched. Mukul, you drove me to the airport, checked me in online, and left by saying ‘when you return, Doris will pick you up as I am on an emergency duty for Air Ambulance’.

Doris, you were at the airport the next day, and you had already collected my bag before I came down to baggage collection area, you took me around Ottawa and finally dropped me at the university residences.

Auntie and uncle, both of you made the greatest of effort in Halifax to make me feel special, taking me around to friends’ houses. I felt proud that your house was most beautifully kept.

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Both of you treated me like a child. Auntie, you brought breakfast for me to eat in the car as we drove home from the Airport when I came to Halifax in 2010. Uncle and I used to sit past midnight, there was so much to learn from him. The last time I went in 2011, the flight landed at midnight. I had informed you that I had booked a car from the airport and that you should not worry as I was used to traveling on my own. You were very anxious, I found auntie in the lobby of her condominium and uncle in the living room watching the entrance gate! On the last night of my stay, uncle, you told me ‘Kiran we are proud that you have done so well, and more than that, you carry yourself with dignity’. I could not meet you again. You were in and out of hospital, auntie you were so hassled, ‘Kiran I am a caretaker, I have to wear several hats in a day. I don’t want you to experience the pain’. I had to cancel my plan in September 2015. I was to visit auntie, Mukul and Monty in June 2017 again but I had to cancel the tickets on the day of travel as I did not feel better after months of ill health. I tried to keep my promise to visit you in 2019! Unfortunately auntie, you were hospitalised and I had to leave for Chicago from Toronto! The Toronto-Halifax flight ticket had also to be cancelled at the last moment. I had to take a flight to Delhi via Tokyo, a much longer flight!

What makes you both stand out, Mukul and Monty, is how you managed to take leave, adjust your schedules frequently to reach Halifax during uncle’s long illness. For Monty it was not only a drive of 12–13 hours, as changing of flights was more uncomfortable and took longer time, but readjustment, even missing some very important meetings. Mukul, you were in Hamilton, the flight was a short one, but your research schedules, your clinics and meetings had to be adjusted, readjusted repeatedly. When both of you came to India for the immersion of uncle’s ashes, an hour before your departure, auntie was admitted in the ICU of Fortis Hospital, Delhi. You sat through the night on chairs with your painful backs! You both managed all this because your colleagues understood and the managements respected your exceptional contribution to work in your respective areas. You were still anxious, as both of you missed your crucial meetings on Monday.

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You keep inviting auntie to Hamilton and Boston, but have not pushed her to shift with you or in your cities realising that she has friends and her comfort zone in Halifax where she has been living for nearly 50 years.

There has been a lot to learn from each one of you!

Raj Bhai Saheb

You are the son of Kunti Mummy’s elder brother. You have shown lot of respect for Kunti Mummy. Devendra and I have known you as a simple person with good human values. I can never forget your support to bring Kunti Mummy to Delhi when Munna Didi had a heart attack. As your car took a turn for our house, a speeding car hit your car with a severe impact. You informed Devendra, both of us came home from our offices to find Mummy in great pain. We took her to Safdarjang Hospital where Dr Salhan, the CMO provided all support. Mummy’s shoulder had been dislocated. The senior Orthopaedic surgeon reached at midnight to do the procedure for resetting the shoulder at the right position. We were feeling bad as the condition at Safdarjang Hospital was not good, but Mummy was attended to by a very good Orthopaedic surgeon.

You offered to spend the next few hours in the hospital, insisted that Devendra and I should go home to have a few hours of rest. You thought of Devendra’s blood pressure and my spine as well. We came back to pick up Mummy and you around six in the morning. Your concern for Mummy and us has been genuine. You used to come to Asian Games Village, sometimes alone, most of the times with Harsh.

You tried to keep in touch with me since Devendra’s passing away till you had a heart procedure and your wife had serious issues with her kidney eventually leading to a kidney transplant. I try to remain in touch with you now to find that all is well with you and the family. Each time we meet, you and your wife tell me that I am like a mother to you and that nothing can go wrong in your lives as long as I am around.

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Dr Harsh Bhanwala

You are the son of Kunti Mummy’s younger brother Bhadra Sen Mamaji, and, the one who has remained in touch with me on a regular basis after Devendra’s passing away. Your spontaneity to remain in touch in spite of your hectic schedule has touched me. The gratitude you have for those who supported you, makes me respect you. You got into National Bank for Agriculture & Rural Development (NABARD) as a young officer. I feel proud that you are now its Chairman. The way you conduct yourself in official situations makes me happy. I have visited your offices both in Delhi and Mumbai. I had a great sense of satisfaction observing your professionalism. You have grown in your area of specialisation, multitasking to create space for relationships as well!

I appreciate that you came for my farewell function at NCERT to join Manu on my superannuation. Priya had gone to cover the Prime Minister’s visit, she was working for Doordarshan at that time. Your observations about my work and family ethics gave me a feeling that I had done my duties without ever realising! Only then, did I realise that during my Headship, I had not issued a single Memo, explanation call to my academic, research and secretarial staff. I was dealing with large number of colleagues, never did I think of harming anyone. In most of the significant works of Department of Elementary Education, I used to take away my name to bring in names of younger faculty. I believed that the young colleagues have a future ahead, for which, I needed to step back. At home, you reminded me that I always reached out to every family member who was in a difficult situation with Devendra and everyone’s well-being was my concern. I made an effort all the time to keep everyone together! Devendra never had to worry about my support in his duty of looking after his family, especially when the family faced a crisis, and, these were several! Thank you for mentioning that I was supported by my parents. They constantly reminded me that it was my duty to look after Devendra’s family, the support invariably came from my brothers and their wives, especially Queenie as Zenobia was in London, struggling with issues of Gyan. She has always supported me in spirit. That Devendra and I were able to do justice to our duties towards the family is for the family to judge.

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I respect you and your wife Poonam for very patiently looking after your ailing parents. It was not easy as Poonam is a working person, now Principal of Women’s College near Rohtak. The blessings of your parents have stayed with you and the family. Your elder daughter Stuti is a software engineer in San Diego; the younger daughter Sindhuja is doing her Residency in Delhi after completing MBBS, and your son Devesh is doing Economics Honours from Delhi University. Interacting with him in Mumbai has been a beautiful intellectual experience.

It is a treat to meet Poonam and talk to her about issues which matter in life. Thank you Harsh and Poonam for the regards that you have for Devendra and me, love for Manu, Priya and Vaidehi and respect for my parents, brothers and their families. You appreciate the goodness of my family and were so happy when you attended two meetings in Mumbai presided over by Anand. You called up to share your feelings ‘No wonder he is so well respected. He conducted the meetings professionally, and so well!’

Harsh, I feel very proud of you when I learn from your officers about the milestones that NABARD has achieved ever since you took over as its Chairman. The bank is making relentless effort in reaching the lowest units to help rehabilitation of farmers, to provide support to them in situations of distress. It was a beautiful experience to learn that NABARD continues to expand, tries to innovate keeping in view the interest of farmers, never losing sight of their struggles. You have also been responsible for documentation of efforts and operationalisation of what has been planned to ensure implementation. I am satisfied because you have brought in sensitivity. I feel so good that you have remained humble and grounded and never let your officers and staff ever feel that you have reached the top. You keep making effort to carry your team with you.

You have gone out of the way to provide support to a driver who served you, passed away a few months back. You ensured by an order that the family will continue to stay in NABARD quarter till his sons graduate. You have got his wife a job as well in some other office!

Thank you Harsh for your respect, concern and your support.

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Papa’s cousins

I am indebted to Jaggo auntie, her family, especially, Mauji who is no more, Sushila auntie, her family and Satinder uncle and his family for always treating me with love, care and concern on my frequent visits to Chandigarh and Panchkula. Mauji used to wait for my visits eagerly. He used to spend a lot of time with me. I miss him a lot! I will never forget how all of you reached Delhi when Papa passed away, when Devendra passed away, and, rushed to Patiala before we reached when Om uncle passed away. Visiting you is a blessing as all of you take us back to our childhood. Aara is simple and spiritual in an untraditional way. I always enjoyed my discussions with her in Delhi Cantt. when Upkar was posted here and later when he went for his Jammu & Kashmir posting.

Meeting Suresh uncle, auntie and the family after years brought in so many childhood memories–Sonu, Animesh, their wives and children, each one touched my heart with their love and warmth.

Hari Mama and his family

Hari Mama, you were Mummy’s older brother. The few times we came to visit you in Hisar, everyone in your family took great care of us. Mamiji passed away when your youngest daughter was four years old. Kusum was the eldest, and was married. She had two small sons. Her husband was working on a responsible position in State Bank of India. He was then posted at Sundar Nagar in Himachal Pradesh. He realised that Kusum was the eldest of the six daughters. He encouraged her to visit her father and sisters frequently while his mother took care of the boys. Kusum, you travelled long distances frequently to be a support to the family. Not only this, you and your husband ensured that all your siblings received education. Two of them, Deepika and Shuchi are working as school teachers. Kumud got a job in the State Bank of India, Hisar branch after her husband suddenly passed away at the age of 40. What has given a sense of satisfaction to us is that all the children of my cousins, Rohit, Rahul, Prashant, Rupanshi, her husband Saurabh, Abhishek, Aman, Akash, Utkarsh and Aryan have done exceptionally well. I wish Abhishek finds a way to satisfy his intellect. The family is blessed to have five beautiful and

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understanding daughters-in-law, Divya, Neha and Sonali, I love meeting them because I learn from each one of them! I am yet to meet the fourth one, Sakshi. Meeting the younger Sakshi with Shuchi and family was a joy. I treat all the young nephews and nieces as friends. We have long interactions whenever it is possible. All my cousins are very hard working and good in many things! My cousin Suman and her husband died in an accident. The family took care of their two little girls Neeru and Indu, educated them, married them off and continue to treat them well, to make sure that both of them are a part of family functions! Kumud, Prashant and Sonali have been looking after Mamaji till his death and everyone who has been visiting Hisar. Kumud is well looked after by Prashant and Sonali.

Derek Harrington Hawes, auntie Drucilla, Lucy

Didi, Prudence Didi and Richard Bhaiya

Uncle Derek, you were posted in Shimla and Delhi before our country’s Independence. Papa worked with you. Both of you had mutual admiration for each other. When I was born, you became my Godfather. We grew up appreciating the huge beautiful carpet that you gifted to Papa and Mummy on their wedding day. It stayed in our drawing room for a very long period. You became very close to our family, your letters to Papa, my grandfather and me came regularly from London and from other cities in the world, where your tours took you. Each letter was full of concern and love. When you came to Shimla in 1968 and learnt that I was to be operated for removal of Tonsils the next day, you were concerned. You said to Papa, “I will have Kiran treated by Harley Street specialists”. We forgot about it. An air ticket actually came for me with your letter of invitation. I stayed with you and auntie at 42 Clarendon Road, the signature address in London. Lucy Didi, Richard Bhaiya and Lesley kept coming in frequently to take me out for sightseeing and meals. I was young and did not fully realise how tough it was for each one of you to get away from work and routine.

Drucilla auntie, you took me to Madam Tussad’s, the Libraries in London, Kensington and Notting Hill. Lucy Didi, you used to take me to Oxford and Cambridge Universities. You took me to

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Brighton as well, to Sussex University, the Church at Coventry, destroyed but created again with the left overs of World War II, a perfect combination of tradition and modernity, the Brighton Palace and many more places outside London.

Richard Bhaiya, you used to drive me at night. I was happy driving through the beautifully lit up bridges, all the shops and stores used to close by then, but, they continued being noticed as they were all brightly and beautifully lit up. It was an exposure for me as I was used to a life in the hills where people were home bound by 9 o’clock. Only those who had to return to Shimla from Delhi or Chandigarh, would be home by 11 o’clock at the most. I loved London and it has become one of my favourite cities in the world.

Staying with both of you and spending time with Lucy Didi and Richard Bhaiya made me realise how each one had meticulously planned to take me to Harley Street specialists, sightseeing, libraries, long drives and taking me outside London. Uncle Derek, on a Sunday you took me to England’s erstwhile Prime Minister Disraeli’s village to see a friend who was in hospital. I was surprised to see a modern hospital in a village. It was beautiful, clean with excellent medical facility. I was fascinated to see Disraeli’s statue on a horse in the village. I had read about him as a student of History, and had just studied British History. You also took me to Paris for a flying trip! On another Sunday, uncle Derek, you took me to watch Marlyn Brando’s movie. We went for a long drive and discussed so many beautiful books, movies and places. Whenever you went on tours, you used to write short letters to me knowing that I was missing you in London.

Both auntie and you took me to Selfridges, a departmental store, to buy a beautiful wrist watch for me. I had never seen a store like that where so many things were available at one place. Going again and again by Marble Arch, Piccadilly Circus, Oxford Street was both a joy and an excitement for me. The room in which I stayed was called ‘Kiran’s room’ till you lived at 42 Clarendon Road, I was touched by this generous gesture!

You sent a huge amount of money as my marriage gift. When Manu was born a year after, you sent a very expensive injection as my blood group was RH –ve. More than the money, it was an

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effort for you because of your hectic routine. You were then in your 70s and it was a lot difficult to send an injection in 1977. With courier services and a large number of flights, things have become manageable now, and the injection is now available in India! With your letter, you sent me a pamphlet of lovely things available in England for newly born babies. I liked the bouncing chair, not knowing and never ever imagining that you would bring it yourself. You travelled from London to Lahore, as Lahore was close to Amritsar. Papa had come from Shimla a few hours earlier to receive you at Wagah Border. You were happy to meet Devendra. You became emotional as you blessed Manu, met my family. You could spend only three hours with us. You left after a quick lunch. Papa, Devendra and I went to see you off. The security forces made you rush for your flight to London, you hugged me and left feeling heavy with emotions. Papa felt sad that he could not say good bye to you. He shared it with me for years, whenever I would go to Shimla. It took him years to get over it. He was so fond of you.

Our family found a special place in your heart. It was not easy for us to come to terms when Lucy Didi called up to inform us that you had left for the better world. Papa and I missed your regular letters, greeting cards, little parcels of gifts and most of all your love and concern for us!! Auntie Drucilla passed away a few years after! Drucilla auntie’s contribution to ensure my medical checkups with Harley Street specialists, taking samples to Royal Marsden Hospital, ensuring that I had afternoon cheese and chocolate cakes, making lentils for me frequently, potato and leek soup. I spent time in libraries which helped me to do well academically. Whenever I left for Notting Hill Library on my own, you would affectionately say ‘come back safe darling!’

Lucy Didi and Richard Bhaiya have emotionally and respectfully continued with this 70-year old relationship of the two families. Richard Bhaiya and Lesley, you made a special effort to meet us by taking out time for Delhi on your way to and back from your holiday destinations in North-East and South of India. Richard Bhaiya, you become very emotional each time you meet us.

Richard Bhaiya, you have been coming to receive me in the early hours of morning or late evening at London Airport. My stay

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once in your beautiful house, with a big garden full of flowers and blossoms of apples, took me to a state of bliss. The way you and Lesley took care of the smallest details at home made me feel so good, staying with you was a blessing. James always had time in the evening for me when we went for forest and lake walks. Richard Bhaiya, I am grateful that you made many things possible during my official visits to London, the toughest was to ensure each time that I met Lucy Didi in the Isle of Wight. You had to leave your house around six in the morning to pick me up from and drop me back to the hotel where I stayed. When I came on tours, sometimes from Zenobia’s place, where I went for weekends to hurriedly get into the 8 o’clock morning Ferry and return around 9 o’clock at night and then drop me to Russell Hotel in London or Beaumont in Windsor where I stayed during official tours! It was so hectic for you, but you never ever expressed. It was slightly manageable time-wise to go to Lucy Didi when I was staying with you in 2015. All the visits to the Isle of Wight meant booking the tickets in advance. You ensured that we had the best and most comfortable seats. Each time you would bring coffee and ginger biscuits, ‘this will take care of your nausea!’ Visiting Lucy Didi has always been rushed. I would say these were flying visits. Lucy Didi, you showered so much of love and care, taking me for beautiful walks in the Island, to art galleries, to markets and asking me to pick up what I liked as gifts. You always got emotional when I left feeling sorry that we were not able to spend more time. You express your love and care through long mails and phone calls. Philip has always been warm. I feel good to find that both of you are a lovely couple. Prudence Didi, you have been so warm whenever you spoke to me on the phone. Your film world kept you extremely busy in Paris. You come across as a grounded and humble person. Having Lucy Didi and Prunie Didi as my God sisters and Richard Bhaiya as my God brother is a blessing. It has made me learn so much, feel proud that our family is so close to you. We feel blessed and will remain indebted to you uncle Derek, for pulling out Papa from a burning train at Lahore, bringing him to Amritsar in his car and for being the ‘Guardian Angel’ to the family as long as he lived!! Each one of you, Lucy Didi, Richard Bhaiya, Lesley and Prudence

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Didi has respected an affectionate emotional bond created and nurtured by our Papas! Your concern for us and our well-being is so genuine. We value this as an invaluable gift!

Vinay Sharma

You came to stay in Ivy lodge as a guest of our neighbour Das Gupta auntie, opposite our house which had a common gallery. You were a young engineer who worked for the electrification of rural Himachal Pradesh. We, as a family, liked you because you were decent, quiet and respectful to my grandfather who stayed with us, to my parents and a friend to my brothers and me. Ashok and I became close to you, Anand remained busy, he met you occasionally. Papa used to come late after his work and evening Law classes. Your interaction with him was limited to taking advice. You gradually became closest to Mummy as she had learnt that you had lost your mother, she was a mother to you. You interacted comfortably with her. You were hesitant to socialize.

I picked up a respectful liking for you for two reasons. One, that you had done your engineering degree from Jadavpur University, two, that you were a young engineer, doing something meaningful. It was a time when I was very upset about not making it to a Medical College because I was weak in Maths, a subject that pulled down my performance. I always wanted to be a doctor. I was struggling to find my ropes. I was doing graduation in Social Sciences. In you, I found a friend who would patiently listen to my everyday struggle in academics to achieve something extraordinary from subjects considered ordinary, then and, even now. Nobody understood the academic role and significance of History as a subject! Your patience helped me share whatever upset me!

You left Shimla after two years of your stay to join Merchant Navy. Your sailing to different parts of the world distanced us and we lost touch. You stopped sailing in 1990s and could not take the exam for the position of Chief Engineer due to your difficult circumstances. You left Merchant Navy, resigned from the position of Deputy Chief Engineer due to personal reasons. For sometime, you worked in the Pacific Shipyard and in the Norwegian cruise also. You had to give up your lucrative jobs due to health reasons

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and you took to teaching in a school. It was beautiful listening to your experience of going to Florida to get the Cruise Liner, The Pride of America which takes people from one island to another in Hawaii. A strong message from you is to keep updating yourself to stay relevant and survive against heavy odds.

Your neighbours respect you for your good and gentle behaviour. I was happy to learn that you did Marine Engineering from Bombay, when you joined Merchant Navy, and then Engineering in Computer Science from Finland, after leaving the Merchant Navy. Your mail after two decades and a half took me back to the simple but meaningful sharing we used to have. You came to meet me in Delhi from Honolulu. You were upset that Devendra’s going away had taken away my happy look and spontaneity!

You are considered as a very good and popular teacher in Honolulu. I felt so happy to find your students who had started working, calling out for you ‘Sharma Sir’ and running towards you to shake hands. We found so many of them in big and small stores, working with doctors. Meeting two of your girl students at Starbucks was a beautiful experience. Their three year old sister so affectionately gave you a high-five, the way her older sisters did. There is something in you, the inherent goodness which only pure and selfless hearts of your students recognise and stay grateful forever for your being there for each one of them. You receive a lot of respect from the parents of your students.

Your remaining in touch with me on a regular basis helped me unload my pain, professional challenges and learn from you that ‘things change from moment to moment’. You introduced me to the works of Chinua Achebe. You believe that thinking impacts, positively or negatively and thoughts keep coming and going. You are a simple but highly organized, upright and meticulous person. Each time you sent me an old English or Hindi song, it helped me to go back to my college and university days and my life with my closest friend Devendra. Thank you for your effort and sharing your struggles in USA, a foreign land, without compromising with your dignity. I feel good when your son Gaurav, his wife Akhila and their son Arjun try to occasionally remain in touch with me.

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What stays with me is your simple way of explaining complicated science concepts, your readings in literature and your intellectual depth. Your valuable inputs to the two concept papers I wrote in 2014, helped me improve. You are obsessed with integrity and sense of discipline. This has made you rigid. I have learnt a lot from you, the most important is that ‘there needs to be some room for flexibility to keep interaction with loved ones alive!’ Your desire to keep learning and grow in depth with understanding keeps me close to you, I look forward to our interactions, to discuss books, news, poems, values and your experience of large number of countries which you visited during your Merchant Navy career, and, about Finland, Netherlands, Norway and England, where you stayed and worked for long periods. You have handled your major surgeries, cancers and fracture of Tibia on your own. It gives me goosebumps when I realise that you endured so much of pain, discomfort all by yourself. It must have been so tough but you managed because you believed in yourself. You shared with me ‘I decided that I will survive with difficulties, without difficulties and in spite of difficulties. I will keep fighting’. A great learning for me!

You help me address my anxiety by frequently interacting with me. The support and care which you provided during my two visits to Honolulu is unparalleled. Discussing with me History, institutions, your work, the Hawaiian culture, the Pearl Harbour, taking me around while giving me so much knowledge and taking care of every detail has touched me for ever. You do so much silently without ever trying to project it!

You gave me the responsibility of getting your studio built in Gurgaon. It was because of you that I met Shri Ramesh Kumar, an engineer who follows the Gandhian principle to construct no profit buildings using insulated bricks. These bricks save those who live in these houses from extreme weather conditions. He sits in his Laurie Baker Building Centre, New Delhi, to provide service and many a times free consultation and training to young architects and engineers! The buildings built by Laurie Baker Building Centre are beautiful, practical and comfortable. Your studio stood out from the rest of the houses in the area.

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Usha Parashar and Vijay Sharma

I met you in November–December of 2013 when Ashok, Queenie and I had come to London to be with Zenobia when her mother Zaineb was critical. She passed away on November 29. Your several visits and interactions with us during this critical period made us feel close to you with your care and love. It was difficult to believe that the two of you were highly accomplished professionals and yet so humble and warm.

Vijay Bhai, you became so emotional when you said goodbye to us. You and Usha Didi have been wanting me to stay with you for a month in London. I have not been able to do it and I do realise how much I have been missing your love, care and learning. Nonetheless, I was so happy when we spent a full day in June 2015, a long walk in the Royal Horticulture Garden. The walk was relaxing and leisurely, sitting whenever I got tired to start again. I did not have to tell you as you observed and notice my fatigue. Vijay Bhai and Usha Didi, you are both elder to me but Vijay Bhai carried my bag of gifts and Usha Didi, you kept on holding my hand at turns and steps. The ‘English afternoon tea’ at the Fox hills Country Club (Golf Course) was an amazing and beautiful experience. We spent hours there and shared so many experiences.

Usha Didi, I felt choked with emotion when Vijay Bhai shared that soon after your marriage, both his parents died and you took great care of his brothers and sister. You became a mother to them. Usha Didi, the way you respect your doctor brother’s wife and treat their son, with visual challenge, as yours is so moving. You shared that your brother had passed on to the better world when he was a very young doctor in London. You treat his English wife as your mother and Vijay Bhai very much appreciates her love and care for both of you. I feel good about your commitment to each other, fulfilling your social roles and never neglecting your professional commitment of highly demanding nature. Vijay Bhai, a renowned solicitor and Usha Didi, a Baroness of the British Parliament.

From the Golf Course you took me to your beautiful home for the evening tea. We again discussed books and family relationships. You took me to a very nice restaurant for an Indian meal for dinner. Our common interest, values and love for books and for each other made us sad when we had to say goodbye. You again

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said, ‘Kiran come for a month. This time you have to stay with us’. It has been four years now but I cherish the time spent with you. Thank you for your time and energy on a Saturday when you had so much to do to keep your home going for the week and for letting me feel like your own sister! I have a strong desire to spend time with both you to feel blessed. It is rare to find people like you in a world where most professionals of your stature have little time for warm and meaningful relationships!

The genuine concern which you have for Anand, Zenobia, Azad and Gyan is truly a blessing. Your concern for Gyan is as genuine as our family’s! You remain concerned and loving for Ashok and Queenie. It is always a treat to be with you! Thanks a lot for everything, your love and your exceptional effort to over stretch and make me feel special.

Rambo

Queenie and Gayatri brought Rambo to my house on the night of December 31, 2010, weeks after Devendra had left this world. Rambo was a beautiful and happy Beagle puppy. Both Priya and Manu were happy to see Rambo. They helped me to manage Rambo for three years as long as I lived in Delhi. With Mahender’s help, I learnt to manage his routine checkups and find a Vet in South City II when I shifted to Gurgaon. I later changed to CP Vet, considered to be very good. Rambo gave me unconditional love, happiness and kept me mentally and emotionally occupied. He helped in my healing and frequent breakdowns as I actually failed to come to terms that Devendra had left this world.

Rambo passed away unexpectedly on August 25, 2017. The night before, he had hurt his paw and had difficulty in putting it on the floor. He was shrieking with pain. He could only sleep with a painkiller. His paw was tender in the morning. Mahender took him to CP Vet. The Vet assured that there was nothing serious. Rambo walked back, he made an effort which gave me hope, but nearly passed away before entering the house. Rambo went away. I was shocked by the casual and callous attitude of CP Vet. Rambo breathed his last in the presence of Mahender, Malti who looked after him as a pup and listening to my helpless cry. I miss Rambo

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every minute when I am home! I wish the Vet had not been so casual! It has given me so much of pain. I received a message of ‘Happy Birthday Rambo’ in November when he was no more. The insensitivity of CP Vet make me now believe that their tall claims are actually false.

Rambo taught me a lesson that will help me as long as I live. His hardest of effort, not giving up, listening to me as I assured him before he went to the Vet, that he would be fine, co-operating with us and the doctor till the last and doing his best to reach home. He collapsed on the third step. I learnt that life is a continuous struggle. One needs to keep making an effort till the last breath of one’s life and never give up!

When we were growing up in Shimla, we kept dogs at home, it was possible because Mummy was always home and we had two workers. Not only this, Mummy and Ashok were passionate about puppies and dogs. They took care of female dogs which went into labour and delivered puppies. There was no way that Papa would allow them inside the house. Nonetheless, Mummy and Ashok did everything for so many stray dogs from the moment Papa stepped out of the house and before he stepped in. Papa, Anand and I liked only those dogs who were ours, at home, one dog at one time, only once did we have two together, Silky and Peter!! We used to keep them in Wooden Apple Boxes with blankets under and over them to keep them warm. The bukhari was always there to protect them during heavy snow. Whenever a dog passed away, Mummy would say a prayer before sending it for its burial.

Rambo taught me that one can keep a pet with minimal support and that everything can be managed if one has the will. I never felt helpless while taking care of him. This confirmed our childhood learning from Papa that things happen on their own once we mentally accept to do something to make the effort. I keep realising this each time I face a challenge!

Mahender

You have been driving me since June 2011. You understand me and my needs very well. Over the years I discovered not only your sense of duty with devotion, but also your meticulous way of

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doing all that needs to be done at home and at work. In NCERT, NUEPA and Amity University everyone likes you because you wish everyone with respect and a smile. You have utmost respect and commitment towards every close member of my family. You take several extra steps to deliver gifts to close and not so close friends. The most beautiful part has been the fact that you have never ever brought up the issues of overtime or an increment. You keep telling me ‘Ma’am, there is no end to greed. It is better to find a level of satisfaction as early as we can’. This is what Devendra and I firmly believed in. You go to Nepal every year, to your village to perform your duty as the eldest son of the family, you paid a visit to say goodbye to your mother in 2013 and ever since you go to perform her shraddh annually. You used to go once a year, but when you lost your brother-in-law, your younger brother, you have had to go twice a year. I have never ever felt the need to check you because I realise that you also need to perform your family’s duties to support your old father. Going to Nepal for you is not easy, the three day journey one way is so tedious and emotionally difficult and it costs a lot of money. You always find a substitute. You ensure that the new driver has good manners and that he will take care of me in your absence.

You have so many diaries with you, you maintain everyday expenditure, the places we go to, the bills of the fuel for the car though I have never ever checked!!! You take care when buying medicines, checking the expiry dates, sending bills with duly filled up forms to IGNOU and maintaining files at home. You ensure that everything is in order, guiding Dinesh, my Private Assistant at Amity University, Haryana. You go to AIIMS and Apollo to get signatures of my doctors. You have never considered any kind of work as a burden.

You and your family took care of Rambo with devotion till I was in NCERT, and later, right from the time when I shifted to Gurgaon, you had been taking him to his Vet regularly for checkups, even on the last day. I can never forget what you said as you took him for a proper burial ‘I am taking my son, Ma’am you stay back. I will do everything for him for the last time’.

You are a happy and satisfied person, sometimes under pressure, whenever you got a little rude or back answered, your

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realisation to ask for forgiveness and letting me know ‘Ma’am, you are like my mother’ has been quick and spontaneous. It was a beautiful experience when, a few weeks back, you made me watch the rainbow after heavy rains.

Thank you Mahender for being good, honest and upright.

Waikiki Beach at sunset

I often stop at the Barog open air restaurant to have tea and watch flowers, green trees and clear skies

A birthday card sent to me by Ashok and Queenie

The lush green foliage on way to Kasauli

Spring in New Church, Isle of Wight, England

The flight of a home bound bird captured at the Sultanpur Bird Sanctuary, Haryana

A greeting card painted by Gyan Sharma (a person with autism) and Galina Stefanova

Priya and Manu got this diary for me with Machupicchu motifs when they visited South America in 2012. I love it. It gives me a feeling of having a priceless gift of history. At Waikiki beach Honolulu, Hawaii

One of the birthday cards conveying our feelings for our son Manu

In Ochenfurt, Germany, with Ms Gerdtrude Mueller mother of Dr Gerd Mueller Entrance to the Basel University, Switzerland

A gift of cushion covers from Priya and Manu This toy duck was given to me by Vaidehi, my granddaughter, when she first visited our house as a baby