The High 79 by International School of Lausanne

THE HIGH EDITION 79 | FEBRUARY 8, 2019 Illustration by Jade Tan

MORE THAN WORDS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Hannah Besson DEPUTY EDITOR

Suhasini Mehra

VALENTINES ALL THE DAY -ISMS

BANDERSNATCH

You should go and love yourself

Did you choose right?

Pick your bigotry

INTERNATIONAL DAYS 4: World Cancer Day 6: International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genital Mutilation 10: World Pulses Day 11: International Day of Women and Girls in Science (A/RES/70/212) 13: World Radio Day 15: Singles Awareness Days

Artémis Faulk-Antonakis

TABLE OF CONTENTS The Incident Valentine’s Day Barbie Personal Project New student Overapologising No Homerooms

20: World Day of Social Justice

Student Parliament

21: International Mother Language Day

Consumerism

WORD OF THE MONTH A fancy word to add to your list: Hyperbaton, or how to talk like Yoda A hyperbaton is basically the name of a sentence in which you do not put all the words in the right order. Example: “Anger, fear, aggression: the dark side of the Force are they.” -Yoda Be wise, follow Yoda’s advice. And talk like him, if you want.

EDITORS Joseph Nobs Raquel Muzquiz Leonardo Engvig Ally Hatcher Vlad Saksin Eleanor Payne Elif Civelekoglu Khwaish Vohra Jade Tan (graphics editor)

Stoner Spanish Inquisition Podcasts Bandersnatch How to find love Ask.fm

03 04 04 05 05 06 07 07 08 08 09 10 11 12 12

SENDING A STRONG MESSAGE

he week before winter break, the entire high school was called into an assembly. It started off as any other assembly, with the usual buzz and chatter that follow us as we enter the auditorium. Among all the people in that auditorium that day, there was one person - a female student in Year 11 - who was extremely nervous and who knew exactly what was going to happen. “I remember feeling like everybody was watching me as I was sitting there, like everyone knew that this assembly was about me.” The reason for this assembly was because this girl had been receiving threatening messages from an anonymous user on Instagram.

Someone threatened someone when they didn’t get what they wanted

It all started in late September last year. “This person had been sending me texts for a while, but I hadn’t seen them at all because they were on a separate page where people requesting to follow you send messages.” In fact, it is possible that she would have never seen any of them if this person hadn’t begun commenting on her photos. “Comments like ‘you slut’ and ‘send nudes’ kept appearing on my photos. At first, I just deleted the comments thinking that the person would get the idea and leave me alone, but they didn’t, they kept commenting. It got to a point where I was so frustrated that I decided to directly address this person; that was when I realised that this person had been trying to get in contact with me for a while.” At this point, however, she was so fed up with the mes-

sages that she simply told the person that they needed to stop. “I think they turned to threatening me and my family when I didn’t respond to the person’s initial requests, as an attempt to coerce me into sending photos to them.” When we hear about incidents like these, ones that induce fear and anxiety, the only way we stop ourselves from growing paranoid is by believing that we are immune to such attacks. We believe that we would know when to get out of such a situation and how we would protect ourselves. This train of thought inevitably leads to the narrative that the victim must have said and done something wrong to end up in a situation as extreme as this. Victim blaming is a form of making ourselves feel safer and protected. Bullying cases all start off with an unequal distribution of power. Within the context of our world today, this unequal distribution of power often comes from the anonymity that social media, and the internet in general, provides us with. Abusing the power that comes with being anonymous on the internet is all too frequent. Whenever you are positioned behind a screen, to some extent, you lose touch with reality; you no longer filter what you say because you cannot see how the other person reacts to it. Moreover, when you are constantly surrounded by the narrative where the victim is at fault and not the perpetrator, we are insinuating that if you are harassed or worse, it is your fault. What happened to this student is a symptom of a much larger issue present not only within the ISL community, but the world. Women are told not to wear headphones when riding the metro late in England to prevent possible attacks. Italy’s high court rules that rape sentences can be of reduced severity if the victim voluntarily drank alcohol prior to the crime. It seems that we are always finding ways to blame the victim of a crime rather than the perpetrator themself.

Khwaish Vohra “After revealing what had happened to me, I had people come up to me asking me why I hadn’t just blocked the person. That I needed to man up.” This logic is entirely flawed. Why do we treat cases of harassment any differently to normal crimes? If someone robs you, there is nothing ‘weak’ about reporting the crime. Comments like these reveal how limited people’s perspectives can be. This incident should not be taken lightly, because the fact is that someone had the audacity to threaten someone when they didn’t get what they wanted. Today it might be online, in a somewhat controlled environment. Tomorrow it could be out on the streets, or behind closed doors. The more we try to shy away from such problems and blame the victim for them, the more the perpetrators will be encouraged to continue with this behaviour.

Victim blaming is a form of making ourselves feel safer and more protected

We need to look at the root of the problem. We need to consider how we are being brought up; what are the values inculcated to children? Are we promoting empathy and respect for each other? Do we teach them to respect boundaries and apologise when they have breached them? ISL took a stance against this incident and in doing so made clear that the perpetrator’s actions were not welcome within the community. However, it is one thing for the school to take a stance but another for its students to truly embrace the position as well.

UNLUCKY 14TH

ll you need is love… This phrase is not only seriously misleading for the young teens of today, but also blatantly not true. In reality, everyone needs a whole lot more than just love. Attempting to thrive on only the passions of a relationship will result in an inevitable misery. It will probably also lead to a strong sense of desperation followed by a messy break up. Despite all that, people need to let up on their hate against Valentine’s Day. Just because certain couples feel as though it is the perfect time to make googly eyes at one another all day, that doesn’t mean that it’s all Valentine’s Day has to offer, nor does it mean that the insufferable couples are Valentine’s Day’s fault. Admittedly, it is the day during which some happy couples feel the need to express their undying love to not only each other, but also to the rest of the world. On this day, those special couples have the opportunity to buy one another red roses and over-

sized teddy bears, but with an open mind, Valentine’s Day can be about so much more. As Madi says, “it celebrates the time to focus on people beyond yourself”, she continues to describe how this day can bring joy to not only the boyfriends and girlfriends in your life but also to “those in your family and your friends”. The idea that Valentine’s Day can be about more than just couples is an important aspect of the day that people overlook, and it’s a shame that the small percentage of couples that overdo Valentine’s Day are giving it such a bad name. A lot of people support the idea of celebrating their love, but as Olivia argues, the main issue lies with “all the soppiness that it has become lately”. Unfortunately, when walking down the corridors on the special morning, it can be quite painful to observe the pink love hearts and red streamers that have been tacked up on people’s lock-

IN A BARBIE WORLD

hat are some of the main things that spring to mind when you hear the word Barbie? A tall, skinny figure with long blonde locks? These features help us to recognize this iconic brand; but should every Barbie be identical? When I was younger, I remember being gifted Barbies on numerous occasions, but I never really felt a personal connection to them. What I found disturbing was how they didn’t even remotely resemble any of the female role models in my life. I have always felt that their concept of only being made to look good and have what was deemed as perfect hair and makeup was an unreliable perception of beauty for the younger generation. Looking back, they were extremely repetitive to play with and they represented an unrealistic ideology of the female body and unfortunately they still do. It is extremely shocking and I despise how the Barbie industry can even manufacture indistinguishable, unproportionate du-

plicates to millions of youngsters. To make matters worse, this toy is mostly aimed at girls and stereotypical gender roles flood through their range of plastic people. Who’s to say other genders can’t let their imagination run wild during play time? I don’t think this will ever spark change in the fight for the empowerment of women and gender equality. Yes, the latest advertising campaign titled “Imagine the possibilities” has shown the producers of Barbie, Mattel, put a step in the right direction for which I do applaud and admire them. They are finally acknowledging that it is 2019 and girls and boys need to be encouraged to be anything they wish to be. However, it is highly inappropriate for them to still manufacture their new line of Barbies, titled “the Career Dolls”, with the same twig figure and feminine look. At first glance it seemed that they would be moving away from this image, but apparently not! This is truly an unhealthy influence for their audience.

Poppy Harrison ers. Despite many people agreeing that Valentine’s Day ought to be about more than just couples, ultimately, the high school atmosphere gets its way, with the interest landing on the couples. Regrettably for some, not all students are in a relationship during this time, and while some are okay with that, this day can also stress to single individuals just how far from a relationship they really are. Matilde states that “all [Valentine’s Day] does for single people is remind them that they are single”. This may be a depressing consequence, but it is one that many students have to endure on February 14th. So, for the haters of Valentine’s Day or the hopelessly single, here’s a piece of advice; when this dreaded day is upon you, change into your comfiest clothes and snuggle up under your covers, open up Netflix and watch You, and perhaps it will convince you that true love is not all that it is cracked up to be.

Jaina Patel Women and girls shouldn’t be made to feel that they have to look or act a certain way in the workplace. With the self esteem of young girls diminishing this can’t keep happening. In 2006, researchers in the United Kingdom published a study in which 162 girls, ages five to eight, were given picture books that didn’t show bodies, or otherwise featured either Barbie or Emme, a more realistically proportioned doll. The girls were then questioned about their body image,and the girls who read the Barbie books were more unhappy with their bodies than those who read the Emme or body-less books. Despite Mattel’s step in the right direction, it still seems that their new marketing ploy is purely for profit. Maybe parents are unaware of the negative impact that Barbie will have on girls as they grow up. With the message spreading over social media,of how unrealistic the Barbie image is, does Mattel really think that parents will continue to buy their children these dolls?

IT’S PERSONAL

our o’clock Wednesday, 23 January - overyo ne form Year 11 took a deep breath and left school with a smile. Students admitted that the last few days had been intense, but people were happy to finally be done with their work. I think everyone knows what I am referring to. Nevertheless, if you are one of those lucky people who are not aware of what Personal Project week is, here is a brief explanation. This year Personal Project week lasted from the 21st to 23rd of January. During that time, all Year 11 students wrote Personal Project reports, which concluded their work and experience. The report was divided into 4 sections and the school provided workshops regarding each section. After each workshop, students had time to complete the relevant section. Nevertheless, we all know that working at school with your friends is not always easy. The ones who were determined enough to just sit in a quiet room and write could enjoy a free afternoon. However, the majority found

it hard to concentrate and did not get to sleep a lot during the week. Nevertheless, we were still lucky to get few days without school lessons, dedicated to finalizing our work, as it is an opportunity that most MYP students do not get. Without a doubt, writing our report without undergoing any workshops would be much more challenging, however, there were some aspects of the week that could be improved. Monday was not only the first day of the PP week, but also a day when we found out what our reports had to include. Although many people put a lot of work into their process journals, the aspect that they focused on the most turned out to be unimportant in the report, therefore their journals and hard work did not provide any help. To prevent this from happening we should have been familiarised with the structure and content that the report requires at the beginning of our project. Especially for students who were new to MYP this year and just started their project

Kaia Grabowska in September, this would be extremely helpful. Moreover if we knew what we are expected to write in out reports before the PP week, we could have at least given our work a bit of thought. During the week there was a lot of time pressure, therefore we did not get time to think about the content we were putting into our report, we were just writing as fast as we could to finish each section.On the other hand if students were given more time to complete their work, people would procrastinate more. PP week was challenging, but at least there was a specific deadline that we knew we had to meet. Nevertheless teachers should have underlined that what we have been doing was just a draft of the personal project report, not a final extended essay or an application for a very important job. There was no need to stress. I hope next year people feel more aware of what they are expected to do before starting their project. This way, PP week can be even more helpful and more enjoyable.

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

eing an international student means moving from place to place every few years, always switching between schools and meeting a variety of new people with diverse backgrounds. Switching schools and settling into a new environment with new cultures and having to completely leave everything you consider home behind is never easy, especially halfway through the year. Just a month ago, I was comfortably living halfway across the world, in Shanghai, China. When I first arrived in Switzerland I was in awe of the beautiful, immaculate country. The tremendous trees. The setting sunset. Shanghai and Switzerland could not have been more different. When the first day of school did come around, it went by in a flash. I was introduced to so many people and they were all very warm and helpful and was

taken all over the school to my classes. All my teachers were similarly, incredibly welcoming; however, they couldn’t stop their classes for too long, meaning that I was lost in more ways than one. Overall, the first week went by very fast, and every day I was proud to be able to associate a new name with a new face. Yet, even after my first week of school I was still incredibly confused as to whether my classes were in the North Campus or the South Campus, what everyone meant when they spoke about their criteria B’s and C’s and even who was in my year group and their names. Furthermore, as I came halfway through the year my confusion seemed to be tripled because of all the work that I had missed from the term before winter break. I found it difficult at first to meet new people because I wasn’t sure if I had already met them, and found it diffi-

Ella Irwin

cult to mix with some of the different groups as I didn’t have any classes with them so we had nothing in common to talk about. Furthermore, the MYP system was (and still is) very complex and thus difficult to fully understand. However, looking past the confusion, I’ve now settled in and have been able to follow some of my passions in after school activities and clubs. I’ve also met a variety of extremely kind people that I’ll hopefully stay close to years after high school. So, overall, being new in the middle of the year is – of course – very different from arriving at the start of the year. Yet, as always, there are plenty of both positive and negative aspects that come along with the move. In the end, it’s always rather exhilarating to meet new people and get to know another unique place in the world.

SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE EASIEST WORD

am sorry. How many times have you used those three simple words in the past week? In only the past seven days I have caught myself apologising to a student who was staring at his phone and almost bumped into me, to a cafeteria staff member for giving me the wrong drink, and to my classmates because I sneezed in class. Many people find themselves in the same position as me, believing that they apologize excessively in everyday conversations. It is no wonder why academics from science, history and politics have named our age: The Age of Apology. “Personally, I know I apologise way too much, more than I should. I think that many people today apologise a lot more than what is necessary and we don’t think about it as a problem because it is so common,” comments Maya Kumar, a Y12 student. Perhaps you think there is nothing wrong with simply being polite, something as simple as an apology; however, the media tells us that apologising could be damaging our self-esteem and potentially harming our health. At this point, you may be wondering: is there is something you should do about it? There are a lot of stereotypes around apologising. For example the idea that women apologise more than men when, in fact, both genders apologise equally as much when they perceive that an offence has been committed - it’s just that women apologize for things men often won’t. Another common stereotype is that British and Canadian people apologise excessively compared to Americans. “It’s a very British thing to apologise for anything. We actually over-apologise, if that is even a thing. I know that I say ‘I am sorry’ on an everyday basis, it’s almost like its second nature,” explains Eve Kurt-Elli in Y12. Excessive apologising has many negative aspects, prominently on our self-esteem. Compulsive apologising is a classic symptom of low self-esteem, a

bad habit born of believing that whatever we do, say, and feel is wrong, thus meriting amends. One who apologizes too much may do so because they live in a never-ending, not fully conscious fear of punishment. One expects constant failure and humiliation without even meaning to. “I think that if you apologise too much it may come across as forced at times and eventually it looks like you don’t mean it anymore. Not only that, but I can see it having a bad effect on your self-esteem, which I think can be understandable as of today’s society where many feel affected by social media,“ says a year 11 student. However, though apologising has profound effects on our self-esteem, it has also been shown to have extreme benefits. Apologising is an important ritual, through which we show respect and empathy. It is also a way of acknowledging an act that, if otherwise left unnoticed, might compromise a relationship. People who apologise feel more powerful and valued, which in the moment increases their self esteem. If people apologise instead of ruminating, they feel better about themselves, which could lead to them engaging more actively in healthy behaviours. Other material benefits of saying sorry include making one appear more approachable to strangers. Of course this all depends on the type of sorry that you use (listed down below) and it’s not clear whether the benefits of apologising apply to all. “Even though it may be seen as a bad habit, I think that apologising is something you should do to show respect to someone and it honestly makes you feel good about yourself. Plus when you say sorry, you admit to your mistakes and show someone that you know you did something wrong,” says Annika Palzer, a Y12 student. This has me rethinking my own behaviour. I will reserve my heartfelt apologies for occasions when I have caused someone suffering and feel genuine re-

Tindra Österling makes no apologies

morse. Below are some different types of apologies identified by scientists: Superfluous - Apologies that you make out of habit, as opposed to remorse. For example when we say “sorry” automatically. Avoidant - When you apologise for a transgression you’d rather not admit to. Usually you would avoid naming the offence. For example, “I am sorry about what happened.” Undermining - A type of apology that is used to give the impression that the transgression was not very significant. This usually gives the impression that one has not understood that the behaviour was bad. For example, emailing “sorry” after commiting a grave offence. Positive Face Attack - This is not an apology but is in fact “downright rude”. This form of sorry serves as a sarcastic preface to an insult. For example “I am sorry, but you are being an idiot.” Fauxpology - This type of apology is insincere and consists of shifting the blame from the culprit onto the victim for the offence. For example, “I am sorry if anyone has been offended.” The “if” highlights the idea the culprit hasn’t accepted that an offence has taken place. Ironic - The tone and context makes it clear that the apology is not genuine. For example: “I’m sorry if you disagree but…” Parasitic - These apologies are slipped into other statements that are ostensibly about something else. For example: “I would like to explain our returns policy, but not before apologising for the inefficient way your complaint has been handled.”

HOMEROOMLESS

ne could never forget the cries and sighs of relief uttered by the current Year 10s when they were told last year that they could finally stay in their homerooms at lunch and break. Honestly, who wasn’t tired of being forced outside in the middle of winter to freeze their butts off? So imagine the utter shock when they were yelled at to “GO OUTSIDE!” on the first few days of school. A large portion of these students still roll their eyes or sigh once they are told to go outside by the teacher on duty. But what is the reason behind the current Year 10s being forbidden from spending their breaks indoors? This decision was made by the Secondary Educational Leadership Team, and it would not be unfair to say that past Year 10s, particularly those of the past three years, are to blame.

Mr Foley has been at ISL for the past fourteen years, and has witnessed the homeroom dilemma firsthand. And for ten of those years, Year 10 students always went outside, as teachers believed it to be beneficial to them, particularly regarding energy to get through afternoon classes. However, Mr Foley was approached four years ago with a request from the Year 10s to stay indoors during recess. They had promised to treat the space respectfully and clean up after themselves, which led Mr Foley to give them a trial. Astonishingly, this turned out to be successful. Thus, the Leadership Team officially permitted students to stay indoors the for the next few years. However, the states of the classrooms and behaviour of the students got progressively worse with each passing year, as students were “sitting on teachers’ desks”,

Chloe Uzoukwu “messing with teachers’ computers”, “knocking over chairs”, and much more, as Mr Foley has described. Last year’s Year 10s were apparently the tipping point, and caused this privilege to be taken away. The few Year 10s questioned on this change were frustrated, to say the least. One student said, “It’s unfair how we have to deal with the consequences and punishments of the past year group, since we haven’t done anything to deserve them.” And now, the question Year 10s down the line will continue to ask: Will this rule change in the near future? Well, as long as Mr Foley has a say in it, it’s a no. Sorry, Year 10s. You have the Years 11, 12 and 13 to thank for it.

STUDENT PARLIAMENT

or many, the Student Council and its reach within the ISL community and student life can understandably seem a little bit tough to understand. Although communication from the Middle School and High School presidents to the students is fairly frequent through assemblies, getting an idea of the ins and outs of our Wednesday lunch meetings can be an undeniable struggle. Being a year level ambassador myself, let me tell you a little bit about the changes which should be coming to the school in the near future. President Roee Tenne made it very clear throughout his presidential campaign that one of his main objectives was to raise school spirit, but also to create deeper connections between students of different year groups. These two goals are being addressed with suggestions which are now in the process of being proposed to the Leadership team. I am dubbing the first project as the “brother/sister system”. This would involve pairing up students from

the High School with Middle School students, and allowing them to spend a certain amount of time together. This time could come during homeroom, as this period has been criticized quite a bit recently, with the introduction of the SEL (Social and Emotional Learning) programme which hasn’t been very successful with many High Schoolers, and especially Year 12s. This idea has benefits for both High and Middle, as the older students could help the younger years with homework, while making new acquaintances. High Schoolers would take on a leadership role and involve themselves in a positive school environment. The second idea revolves around an extension of the extremely popular Sports Day, which takes place every year in June. Instead of limiting students to one day of slightly competitive team games, the Student Parliament would organize more of these activities during lunch times over a few days. Students would be invited to create

Tom Secheyron

their own teams (all teams should have multiple year groups represented) and enjoy the benefits of slightly more organized lunch. Games could be played both inside and outside depending on the weather, and participation would be voluntary. A proposal for this new project is currently in the works. Lastly, but perhaps most excitingly, the Student Parliament’s newest intention concerns lunch queues. For the past couple of years, Middle School students have always been the first to have access to the North Campus cafeteria. Changing this unfair trend is a concept which many students have felt very enthusiastic about. Another proposal should be submitted soon to Mr Foley and Co. in order to have High Schoolers be first in line to the cafeteria two days a week (which has yet to be decided). In short, be ready to see significant changes pop up in your daily ISL life! As long as they are approved, of course…

BUY, BUY, BUY

uying things is amongst the most common things we do in the modern world. Whether it is basic necessities like food, or something we merely want to have, shopping is something we take for granted. We all want to have new things; nobody is going to judge you for admiring something, it’s a completely normal thing to do. Yet, what happens when this insatiable desire for more gets out of hand and becomes a defining part of our lives? Well, say hello to consumer culture: when a significant part of what you do, what you like, and who you are is defined by what you consume. This refers to not only food but also items such as clothes, cars, etc. This isn’t a new concept. It’s not like the second we have access to smartphones, we immediately begin wanting

everything, disregarding that which we don’t need it and the effect it has on our wallets. In fact, modern American consumer culture is said to have begun in the 1890s, more than a century ago. This constant desire to have the newest of all items on sale, while definitely helping large businesses that are rolling in cash thanks to us, results in some unthinking behaviour during the purchase of new things. Anyone remember the debate about the new iPhone 7, now without the earphone jack, and how useless it was? However, despite all that there were still millions sold. Businesses are very much aware of this trend. Someone with enough money is likely to buy a white shirt and pay many times more than what it costs in any other store just because it has a brand name on it. Who cares if it doesn’t have any advantages when compared to

Elif Civelekoglu its cheaper counterpart? We still see people wearing things from expensive brands that, in my opinion, could have been bought for way cheaper. Finally, let me make this clear: there is nothing wrong with wanting new things. It’s a human trait; we will always want more. However, it shouldn’t elevate to the point that one’s standing depends on what they own.

Illustration by Artémis Faulk-Antonakis

IT’S NOT ABOUT WEED

rom an early age, we’re faced with an expectation: to find a passion. I always had a critical view upon finding a passion; the idea of having an inherent, innately acquired and singular passion seemed awfully contrived, especially in an academic environment. In school I was always told that the key to a happy life is to find a passion, and so I attempted to find one. And as I struggled, I saw people pursue the “passions” they were dedicated to, only to find a different one the following year. Is it truly a passion, therefore, or is it a result of the social and cultural pressure to have one? I became cynical about the idea of a passion, and came to the conclusion that it was possible to live a life without one. This all changed when I read Stoner by John Williams. It’s about a man who works on a farm, goes to university, starts a family, becomes a teacher, and then dies, and it’s one of the best

books I have ever read! William Stoner, the charmingly mundane protagonist, leads an uninteresting life, and is deeply unhappy. His wife is uninterested in him, he isn’t a great teacher or a great father, and as you read you can’t help but feel pity towards him. Written in simple, minimalistic prose, Stoner explores what happens when you go through life without passion. Stoner pursues what he wants; he becomes an English teacher, but goes through his career in a lackluster manner. Even though he is pursuing what he wants to do, he lacks drive and this ultimately leads to the life that Stoner lives. Stoner exists in a small space, and when our space is smaller we cultivate love for small things, thus there was never a bigger meaning to his life. I watched his life crumble into pieces, and watched him allow it to happen, invite it even. He’s acutely aware of his insignificance, and that makes the story truly heartbreaking. Williams is triumphant in tak-

Ellie Parsons

ing the simplest of stories and making them remarkably beautiful and desolate. Despite the dullness of his life, he still managed to be memorable and had an important story to tell. Stoner showed me that passion is indeed necessary in life, but you cannot expect it to fall into your hands. Passion is a continuous thing; if you love doing something, you must actively pursue it. William Stoner loves reading and teaching English, but he is passive in his pursuit; he lets things happen to him, he lets people guide his life and suffers greatly from it. A story that resonates with us all, Stoner shows us the consequences of living life without a passion; without meaning. By showing us the consequences of the danger that is the mundane, it quite possibly holds the answer to one of the most complex of questions what is the meaning of life?

THE SPANISH INQUISITION

n November 26th a long yet powerful Instagram story went viral in Spain, and this is what it said: “Firstly, if you’re fourteen years old and you get pregnant, it’s because you’re a bitch, and you act like a prostitute. If you have a child, you suck it up and you have it… or you go to another country and you have your f*cking abortion there, besides, abortion is prohibited.” (her friends laugh) “Next, let’s talk about immigrants. If they’re not from this f*cking country” - a friend interrupts to say, “they’re delinquents. If they come here and they even receive health and sh*t, they can at least do something, not just be delinquents, actually, they should just go back to their country, to their f*cking country, to their f*cking house.” “Secondly, the thing about gender violence… is that women shouldn’t report assault without any proof, and to me that’s perfect because that of “the pack”, whether you think it or not, it’s all a lie.” Friends shouting- “F*ck yeah!” “Okay thirdly. Let’s talk about transexuals… what they want is to not pay the cutting of their penis, (breaks out laughing) they pay it with our money, they pay to have their penis cut off with our money. Look, if you’re born a dude, and you want to be a chick, you put your penis up your a**, ok? And otherwise, if you’re a girl and you want to be a guy, you attach a fake penis” - her friends break out laughing - “but you don’t need to get an operation, you know? Because it’s our f*cking money, well, not mine, our parents’ who aren’t going to pay for that.” Her friend adds, “if they want to do it, they should pay for it, get a doctor and do it, but don’t spend our money on that.” “To finish, before anything, inform yourselves, and this is not a dictatorship. In Franco’s dictatorship, look, my grandma, my great-grandma, my mom, they’re still alive. (In fact) my grandma told me that they lived f*cking amazing. Did you live in the dictatorship? No, so don’t complain about Franco because I hope the guy from Cuba or Venezuela, oh yeah that one, I hope they come. I would like to see you two weeks in Venezuela, you would come sh*tting your pants and saying, how nice Spain is!” - Her friends cheer her on - “Yes, you would come here loving Franco.” “To me, feminazis you put this b*llsh*t up your a**, because we are not better than men, we are in fact inferior, what the f*ck!” - Her friends cheer her on again - “Men are made to cut wood and women to make a f*cking tortilla, and that’s life, okay? Law of life, okay? Or is a woman born with muscle? No, she does that if she wants to, but a guy is made for some things and a chick for others, the law of life. Why do you think girls have their period, suffer pain and why do they get pregnant and endure labor pain and everything and men don’t? Because Christ made it so. He said, you will suffer because I say so, and that’s how it is.”

Raquel Muzquiz is lost in translation I had to replay this a few times before it sunk in. It is unbelievable that so many people think that it is remotely okay to have this mindset. I don’t want to attack people with this attitude, because violence, even if it is verbal, only creates more violence. Because of this, I think it is only appropriate to explain why this is wrong, because, being fourteen, they can still change their, what I believe to be, disrespectful and close-minded behaviour. To begin, rape is not something that should even be joked about. Thousands of women have died because of men, and because their proof wasn’t enough. Yet thousands of women are fighting for this to stop, and to speak for those who don’t have a voice anymore. Moreover, I believe that if a woman wants to have an abortion, regardless of her age, she should be able to because it is her body, and because it is definitely legal in Spain. If you don’t want to have an abortion, it is your choice, but all women should have their own voice, no one should have to speak for them. Immigrants who come as asylum seekers don’t come into our countries because they want a “vacation” - they simply do not have a choice. They come to survive, and to search for a better life. To generalise and speak about all immigrants as delinquents is wrong, but also shows a lack of education. Also, I don’t think transexual people choose to have these procedures because they want to spend our money; they simply want to be happy in their own body, like everyone else. They’re human beings, they should have the same right as everyone else, the right to feel comfortable and great in their own body. Finally, I’d like to discuss Franco’s dictatorship, which my family also lived through, yet has a different view on. Yes, many people lived “f*cking amazing” during his regime, in the same way that others lived well during other dictatorships. But those who lived that “f*cking amazing” life never turned to look at those who were suffering, because they don’t matter, right? Your mom, grandma, and great-grandma lived amazingly, so it doesn’t matter who else lived or died, right? It is devastating that people think like this. This is why we have to keep fighting, sharing these videos and behaviours, and keep educating not only at school, but most importantly in our homes. Before anything, we should all respect each others’ opinions. However, it is one thing to disagree and another to go against the work and respect that took many years to build. I believe everyone should be respected, but only when what they say is respectable, and this is clearly not the case.

PEAS IN A PODCAST

want to kick off the new year by celebrating a medium that I consider underappreciated: podcasts. I love a good podcast; whether it is to learn something new or have a good laugh, I can always find a podcast that suits my needs. So consider this an unofficial awards show, where you can hopefully find something you like. Best Podcast to Start With: 99% Invisible

McKenna Quam tunes in ern era, only to fail miserably. Their show tends to run around an hour and 30 minutes, but if you don’t have time for that, there are hundreds of animatics posted on YouTube of their best jokes. For an episode to start with, they recently continued their tradition of naming the new year (MBMBaM 440: The Naming of 2019), or if you want to listen to one of their live shows, their most recent Texas show is my current favorite (MBMBaM 436: Face 2 Face: I Had Charcuterie Today!).

ways. Similar to SYSK, you should start with an episode that you think has the most interesting topic. Runner-up: Shmanners is definitely less serious than economics, but sometimes you just need to know extraordinary etiquette for ordinary occasions. They have very useful topics like how to properly use sidewalks and how to duel. Both equally useful in the 21st century. Of course, the best episode to start with is the dueling episode. I will see you at high noon, be prepared. Best Scripted Podcast: Hello from the Magic Tavern

Roman Mars’ smooth voice guides us through a world that we don’t often think about: the design of the world around us. It includes talks on everything from Magic the Gathering to more serious topics like Puerto Rico’s year without electricity. This is a great starter podcast as the episodes are only 30 minutes long, and there’s only one host, which makes it easier to keep track of the narrative. I recommend Mars’ six-part series on clothing varying from punk to plaid as a good starting point in this podcast. (Articles of Interest 1-6) Runner up: Stuff You Should Know. SYSK has been running for 11 years and was my personal introduction to the world of podcasts, and covers everything from Bioluminescence to Jonny Appleseed and everything in between. The two hosts, Josh Clark and Chuck Bryant, seem like genuine friends and seem fairly interested in the topics they cover. All episodes of this podcast are equally interesting, so start with the one that draws your attention the most. Best Comedy Podcast: My Brother, My Brother, and Me Hosted by the eldest brother, Justin, the middle brother Travis, and sweet baby brother, Griffin, MBMBaM will have you splitting your sides with laughter as the trio attempt to give advice for the mod-

Runner up: I couldn’t just choose one runner up because there are so many good comedy podcasts! Here are three more excellent podcasts: The Adventure Zone is the best DnD podcast, Story Break has 3 screenwriters who try and craft a movie plot in 60 minutes, and Judge John Hodgman: think Judge Judy, but for disputes between petty neighbors. Best Podcast to Make You Smarter: Freakonomics Radio

Economics can seem like a bore, but Stephen Dubner and Steve Levitt only talk about the fun stuff. They discuss interesting topics like, “We thought of a Way to Manipulate your Perception of Time” - okay, well, that one is creepy, but the point is that they talk about boring Economics topics in exciting

The best totally fictional, I repeat fictional, podcast is Hello from the Magic Tavern. What would you do if you fell into a wormhole behind a Burger King? Well, for Arnie Niekamp, he figured that he needed to document his adventures in a magical dimension by hosting a podcast. Join Arnie and his regular guests Chunt the Badger and Usidore the Wizard as Arnie tries to learn all he can about the land of Foon. With a colorful cast of characters such as Flowe the Flower and a Transdimensional Deliveryman, this podcast will surprise you every week! Start with Episode 1. Runner-up: Welcome to Night Vale. WTNV is the forefather of scripted podcasts and the only reason it didn’t win is that I wanted to showcase something a little less popular. WTNV is a fictional radio show in the eerie town of Night Vale, giving updates about the town to its citizens. It features strange quotes and stranger stories. Remember, there is a thin semantic line separating weird and beautiful, and that line is covered in jellyfish.

BADDERSNATCH Ellie Parsons chooses her own disappointment

’m an advocate for commending people for trying. So when people say they’re impressed with Black Mirrors’ latest episode, Bandersnatch, for trying a new thing, I understand. The episode was an interactive one: you, the viewer, can pick between two options, controlling the character’s decision and thus influence the ending. What I don’t understand is the unwarranted praise it seems to be receiving, claiming that the newest episode was “innovative” and “clever”. If you think this, you have been fooled. Bandersnatch is, at best, an attempt at a successful interactive film; it merely gives you the illusion that you have even an ounce of influence in the ending. The beauty of an interactive film lies in the fact that you have a say in the story, though while watching Bandersnatch your choices often have little to no effect. Bandersnatch creates a facade of interactivity; the user decision is not of much significance. There is an abundance of endings to explore but the problem is if you don’t go down the path the creator so desperately wants you to, you end up with an unsatisfactory ending and you eventually lose the motive to explore alternative endings. This is where Bandersnatch fails. You choose to read interactive novels and games because there’s a feeling that you’re essential to the story, and the exploration of choices is one of the unique parts of anything interactive. You’re enticed by the novelty of choice, but Bandersnatch takes this away by stripping you of the importance you were promised, leaving you unsatisfied and untouched by, arguably, any ending you eventually end up with. I simply did not care what happened to Stefan or Mr. Rabbit, and the narrative of P.A.C - which had potential - is thrown away just as quick as it was introduced, because they really only want you to go down a select few endings. Had they had more time and better story writing, they could’ve created a truly groundbreaking, beautiful story of complexity. Quite simply, Bandersnatch lacks development and substance in practically all of the endings and the viewing experience is like talking to a brick wall. I can forgive a terrible story if it has likeable characters. There’s not one character in Bandersnatch that you can get attached to. Stefan, for example, has no moment of brilliance. Perhaps it was when he first shows his game developer, but even then the game was unfinished. Supposedly, he doesn’t sleep and works hard on the game, but this isn’t conveyed well in the story at all. He comes across as lazy and rather unmotivated to finish the game. I wanted to see him struggle, to really push to get it done, to finally give me something to root for as the viewer. But he’s a weak protagonist and gives in easily. The father, who attempts to be as loving as possible, despite kidnapping Mr. Rabbit, should be a character that we sympathise with, but he is only portrayed as aggravating. It’s as though his character was written purely to

annoy Stefan when there was the potential to really expand on their relationship and problems such as Stefan’s depression. Extremely dull and lacking in depth, the father takes up a massive space which could have easily been filled by a better-written and more complex character. Collin practically murders Stefan in one alternative universe when you jump from his balcony trying to prove the existence of alternative worlds (I made Collin jump in my first run, guess that makes me a murderer too), but I must say, he’s the most likeable out of them all, and I found myself wishing for his presence when I was with any other character. Well done, Bandersnatch, you created something of interest. I understand the complexity that goes into making something interactive, however, it isn’t an excuse for lazy writing. The alterations that I enjoyed the most focus heavily on the narrative of Stefan losing his mother and Stefan either finding Mr. Rabbit or reliving the day he lost his mother, but this narrative alone simply isn’t strong enough. Just when you start to be engrossed in it Bandersnatch directs you elsewhere, leaving you with no time for reflection as it ends abruptly. The things that you actually cared about, like this particular narrative or Collin are taken away from you. They were too ambitious, forcing the highest amount of content down our throats, causing it to mix together and become indistinguishable. Due to weak execution, viewers don’t have the incentive to dig deeper and experience endings that actually have meaning. You’re much better off spending your time on something more rewarding. Bandersnatch did tackle some good issues - mental health, control, manipulation and obsession - but the exploration of such topics fall through due to a poorly written story (don’t get me started on when you explain what Netflix is to Stefan) but I have to give it to them for giving us something new and taking risks. It could’ve been great, which is infinities more frustrating than simply being bad. I can summarise my opinion on Bandersnatch with two words: absolutely meaningless. I’m sorry Bandersnatch, but at least you tried. I recommend you all go watch the superior interactive film, Minecraft Story Mode, which I believe is getting a third season?

HOW TO FIND LOVE 1. Remember: your soulmate is out there. 2. They are hiding your soulmate from you. It is your responsibility to retrieve your soulmate from them. If you are unable to do so, a new soulmate will not be provided for you. 3. Harness the power of pheromones. Yours are unsatisfactory. Try to make them better. ‘Burning Wood’ and ‘The Incomprehensible Expansion Of The Universe’ are recommended scents for adolescent humans. 4. The wandering spirits of the dead are not viable dating options. Do not listen to them. 5. Pick someone you like and give them flowers! 6. Remove the hidden cameras from the flowers. Shame on you.

7. It’s helpful not to appear desperate. Avoid talking to your crush too often. Avoid talking to them at all. Avoid all people at all times. Become a hermit. 8. She will not help you. It does not matter what she has told you. She lies.

Suhasini Mehra 12. Try searching the garbage for love that other people have thrown away. You might get lucky. 13. Hire goons to place you in a damsel in distress situation and leave hints for your crush to find and rescue you.

9. The monster under your bed likes mushrooms. Should human options fail, bring him shiitakes and blue cheese. He will not refuse. He is almost as lonely as you are.

14. Alternatively, hire goons to put your crush in a damsel in distress situation and rescue them.

10. Under no circumstances are you to give any verbal indication that you like your crush. No body language, either. Successful lovers communicate entirely through telepathy.

16. Give yourself over to Cthulhu; even the most impossible feats bend before His terrible grace.

11. If the individual you have chosen to pursue mentions the banana eel within the next three days, desist in your pursuit immediately. Cut all ties with the individual and choose somebody else. It’s for your own good.

TEA PARTY

15. Play hard to get. Move to Kyrgzstan.

17. Send yourself Valentine’s Candy to tide you over during this difficult time. 18. Always remember Number 1.

From our Ask.fm page: ask.fm/spill_your_guts

Illustration by Quentin Bachelot

Year 13 tried to invite year 12 to a winter ball after party. They asked for 100 CHF per person (location was an undisclosed club). People accepted. Then it was revealed that year 13s were only paying 80 CHF and needed the 100 CHF from year 12s for their drinks. After that every year 12 declined.